![Bonus #179 - Usama Siddiquee [PATREON PREVIEW] — Stavvy's World cover](/_next/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpod.wave.co%2Flogo.png&w=1920&q=75)
Patreon preview. Unlock full episode at https://www.patreon.com/stavvysworld Usama Siddiquee joins the pod to discuss how the Stavvy's World theme song is way too Greek, other racist music, his atheist dad trolling Muslims after he departed from Islam, Italy sucking at war, Greek names, how not getting laid in high school with your boys is a vibe, and much more. Usama and Stav help callers including a woman who discovered a shocking family secret about her cousin, and a young professional whose annoying awkward older coworker is getting on his nerves. See Usama Siddiquee live and follow him on social media: https://www.usamastandsup.com/ https://www.instagram.com/usamastandsup/ https://www.youtube.com/@UsamaStandsUp https://www.tiktok.com/@usamastandsup ☎️ Want to be a part of the show? Call 904-800-STAV and leave a voicemail to get advice! 🎟️ See Stavvy live on the Dreamboat Tour 🛥️💕!!! https://stavvy.biz/ for tickets ‼️ Bonus episodes every week! Unlock exclusive, Pa...
Loading summary
DSW Announcer
At dsw, we ask the important questions like what shoes are you going to wear? Whether you're prepping for wedding season, festival season, or just planning the ultimate vacay, the right shoes can make or break an rsvp. So own the moment. You've got big plans and we've got just the shoes at the perfect price, of course. Get ready to get ready with Designer Shoe Warehouse. Head to your DSW store or dsw.com today and let us surprise you.
Stavi
Hey listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to Sirius XM podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.
Caller with Family Secret
I'd like your thoughts on a moral dilemma involving a family secret that's been in the family for a couple decades now. I'm in my 30s for context, but when I was around 18, I was drinking with my mom and she decided to let me in on a fucked up secret about my little cousin. My mom told me that my cousin's biological dad died in an accident when he was an infant, I think like three. And apparently this dude had quite a bit of money and had left a trust fund to my cousin. Well, my aunt, she made the decision not to tell my cousin that the dad he's known his whole life isn't his real dad, and that his bio dad died and left him this huge sum of money. And according to my mom, almost everyone in the family knows the secret. And my aunt's been known to threaten anyone with disowning them if they decide to tell my cousin the truth.
Eldis
Whoa.
Caller with Family Secret
At the time, I was livid for a my mom telling me the fucking secret.
Stavi
Yeah, that's fucked up on your mom's
Caller with Family Secret
part, telling me that I can't tell my cousin.
Stavi
Hold on. But also, wait a second. A mom that gets drunk with her 18 year old?
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Had a problem with boundaries? That's shocking.
Eldis
I'm blown away that the secret was revealed that late. You know, if this was like a drinking vibe.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
How'd that not come up earlier? You know what I'm saying?
Stavi
It's. I mean, why you decide to tell your kid? This is crazy. But let's, let's let her finish. Eldis.
Caller with Family Secret
And I don't know, I was young and my mom begged me not to tell him, so I didn't. And now all of this time has passed and I'm getting the urge to tell him again. I personally feel that he deserves to know. I would want to know. I had, like, a medical condition. It's important to know your family history. But I don't know if I tell him. I'd have to tell him that his real dad is dead, that his whole family has known for years, and tell him. And on top of all that, my. And decided to use the trust fund for the whole family, and the money's gone.
Stavi
Oh, the final situation.
Eldis
The final.
Caller with Family Secret
Thank you. Love you.
Eldis
Sorry. Sorry.
Stavi
What? What? No, that's crazy, dude. Whoa. That's actually fucking insane.
Eldis
Use the money for what, though?
Podcast Producer
Like she said, use the trust fund for the whole family. I don't know exactly.
Eldis
Except her. Like, did she get a house maybe?
Stavi
That's the kid. Get anything?
Eldis
So she. So she. I think the money from the guy. How'd she even access it, though, if it wasn't hers?
Podcast Producer
I guess if the kid was young, probably just guardianship.
Eldis
Yeah, that's illegal, isn't it?
Stavi
Who knows? I mean, who also knows what this guy? I mean, who even knows how this set was set up, right? Did they? I mean, the guy died in an accident, so it's like he was planning to fucking die, but this is insane.
Eldis
That's wild, dude. She's bad. She's a bad lady.
Stavi
How old is the kid? How old did she say? How old the cousin?
Eldis
30.
Stavi
She's what?
Eldis
She's in 30s.
Stavi
She's in her. You all right, buddy?
Podcast Producer
She didn't specify, but it's the funniest
Eldis
podcast producer of all time.
Stavi
He's like.
Eldis
It's like Amelia Bedelia, but for podcast.
Stavi
Press the button eight times.
Eldis
Never seen a man.
Stavi
Here's the crazy thing. Every episode, he fucks up in a new way. It's like, there's only so many ways to up. Like, I've never seen that 8 button press in my life.
Eldis
I've never seen a guy less in tune with his instruments. It's like, what is this?
Stavi
It's actually fascinating how he's able to do this.
Podcast Producer
It is this device.
Stavi
Okay, all right. That's the device.
Podcast Producer
There's lag in the. In the feedback.
Stavi
Do you want something new? What do we got to do to up. Do we need to upgrade.
Podcast Producer
I gotta do some.
Stavi
We need to upgrade at the new. At the new place.
Podcast Producer
Yeah, for sure.
Stavi
Okay. All right. Anyway, so I'm sorry, I'm very confused here, because I was thinking originally that this is a trust fund thing. When the kid's 18, they find out, hey, we didn't want this to get in the way with your dad, because this is your dad. This guy loves you. He raised you like a son and he loves you like a son. And you should think of him as your dad. But things are, you know, it was a little complicated. We never didn't know how to bring it up. We also didn't want you for this money to you up. We didn't want you to be like a weird kid who always knew at the end of the day, when he turned 18, he had 3 million bucks waiting for him.
Eldis
Straight. I could see that too.
Stavi
To me, that is a little like, hey, it's fucked up your mom let you in on this, but just mind your business until the kid's 18.
Eldis
Right.
Stavi
But now it seems like this money's gone and no one's planning to tell this person.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
That his not. Here's the thing. It's one thing for your dad to not be who your dad is. I. I'm on the record as thinking like a lot of this is nurture more than nature. Like I've had. We've had arguments on this podcast. I think a lot of times it's like, look, I think who raised you is your dad more than anything.
Eldis
Absolutely.
Stavi
And obviously biology plays a part. But to me that's actually. That's weird. But I also could see it what you're bearing the lead. This is not. Your aunt is hiding your kid. Their. Your cousin's parentage. This is your aunt stole from her fucking son. And this is a fucking crime. And in my opinion. Unless, look, if there's something where she's like, I'm going to tell him when he turns X. Like if this kid, if, if whatever. The ages are different. And this is her little cousin and her mom told her when she was 18. But I don't know the. But if this person is an adult who no one is planning on telling.
Eldis
Right.
Stavi
I think you gotta tell them. I think, Yeah, I think, I think you got to tell him. And I think. And then the aunt is, Is threatening to disown you. It's like, who cares? Yeah.
Eldis
The aunt is definitely the villain of
Stavi
the story from her kids. Yeah, listen, it'd be one like, I don't know, maybe I'm. I don't know the details. Maybe it's kind of thing where there's financial instability. They needed to dip into it, whatever. But it's like the money's gone. Yeah. This kid's biological dad. You have. And look, it's also kind of disrespectful. This person's memory. Yeah. Who, like, he never got to meet his kid. He doesn't even get to know, and he left all this money for his kid. You stole it, and you're not even telling him this person existed. I think it's insanely fudged up.
Eldis
It's also a point of a return.
Stavi
Right.
Eldis
Like, there's too many infractions now for her.
Stavi
Yes.
Eldis
To be like, hey, bring it to her.
Stavi
Yes. She would love for this to stay buried forever. But I think. And look, I'm normally a key. Like I am normally. Mind your own business, guy. In a lot of ways, especially if you love. Which I assume you're pretty close to your cousin. You care about him, whatever. Especially if there's somebody who matters to you. This is a huge injustice. Yeah. And I think that he deserves to know. And I think you should tell. And I think you need to blow this shit the fuck up now. You need to understand that you would. Many people in your family will see you as the villain, even though it's not your fault. Right. Many. You know what I mean?
Eldis
Like.
Stavi
Like many people will see that. And you have to be ready for that. You have to be ready to deal with the fallout.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
But I also think you kind of in my. I. I would say in my. In your position. I think I could not live with that secret. If no one is planning to ever tell him, and especially the money being gone.
Eldis
I think you owe it to your cousin.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
To tell him.
Stavi
Actually.
Eldis
It's actually a directive.
Stavi
This is insane. Like, I think you got to tell him. I mean, and then buy him some lunch, too.
Eldis
I feel like.
Stavi
Yeah. Give him a little cash.
Eldis
Something.
Stavi
Something this guy didn't even know.
Eldis
This guy lost how many. I mean, I wanted. I want to know the number, too.
Stavi
Yeah. I mean, look, who knows? But I. And look, to play devil's advocate to. To argue against this. Is there a. Let sleeping dogs lie. Like, this person has no idea what he lost. Right. And you would be potentially letting him know some. You actually. You'd be really fucking up his whole world because you'd be letting him know
Eldis
for the dad thing.
Stavi
The dad thinks a whole huge thing.
Eldis
We're, like, lazing over that.
Stavi
But now you're letting know that his mom stole from him. Yeah. What if somebody told you right now, yeah. Your mom took two. Even if it's like.
DSW Announcer
Even.
Stavi
It's like, 25 grand. Sure.
Eldis
But let's say it's like she already has taken that.
Stavi
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Eldis
Brown mom. Yeah. That's for the house.
Stavi
But I'm just saying, like, like, like somebody right now told you, like, hey, your mom stole a million dollars. I honestly think it would fudge me up. Yeah.
Eldis
Also, your dad's not your dad.
Stavi
It would fuck me up so much more to hear my mom stole from me that amount of money and that she crafted a lie that included hiding my dad. Yes. Because it's not just your dad's not your dad. It's. Your mom didn't tell you your dad was your dad to steal from you.
Eldis
No, no. For sure. Also, another point of this is that if your mom is a hoe, right?
Stavi
Sure, sure.
Eldis
And you don't think your mom's a hoe. That is the deep core tenant of your philosophy when you're growing up. My mom's a good mom.
Stavi
Mom.
Eldis
Yeah. She's not a hoe. A lot of moms had homs, and they, they started there so they. They can deal with the home mom.
Stavi
Right.
Eldis
If you had not a home mom, and then you have to find out at 35, you had a whole mom, that's tough. That breaks up a lot of shit
Stavi
that up your whole life.
Eldis
Whole concept like women calibration.
Stavi
What?
Eldis
Because a lot of times you compare women to your mom, like, she's a hoe. That's not much. But your mom is the center now. Your mom's the ho. Where's your. Where's your compass now?
Stavi
Yeah. Your compass is all fucked up.
Eldis
So that. That's what I'm thinking about.
Stavi
So I think in situations like this, I tend to go, don't stir the pot until something becomes really egregious.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
And to me, the fact that there's no plan to ever tell them, that's egregious.
Eldis
No letter.
Stavi
That's egregious. But this, the combination, because it takes what could. Again, it could have been an innocent, if misguided attempt, because people now say the literature is you want to tell kids as early as possible if they're adopted or whatever.
Eldis
Sure, sure.
Stavi
You could argue that if they didn't steal the money, this is a misguided attempt to, like, make sure this kid grows up normal right before letting him know about the money. But once you've put money is stolen, this becomes a really crazy infraction against your child. And I think it rises to the level where I would have a moral problem keeping the secret. I really would. This is just twofold too hard.
Eldis
I agree. Also, are you reading a lot of literature about this?
Stavi
I just mean, like, I'VE talked. I know.
Eldis
Well, you know, the prevailing voices that might be like, I really have been dealing.
Stavi
I really have been dealing with something about adopt. Like a project that deals with adoption. And so I weirdly have, have like learned.
Eldis
Like, it was like, of course. As a man who is engaged in this kind of thing.
Stavi
Yeah. Well, I'm, you know, this, this program, we give advice. I'm sort of an expert and I'm not an. Do not listen to anything I say. Legally, you cannot fucking sue me for anything. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Eldis
Suck my dick. Fuck you. Fuck you.
Stavi
Fuck you. Anyway, that's what I think. Elders, you seem like you have thoughts bubbling up over there or.
Podcast Producer
No, I honestly don't really.
Stavi
You don't know?
Eldis
Okay, great.
Podcast Producer
Besides that. Yeah, it's pretty fucked up. I don't even know what I would do. That is like such a big responsibility to know that. Especially to like unload that on an 18 year old.
Stavi
And.
Podcast Producer
And that could be like so traumatic for an 18 year old too.
Stavi
Where it's like, is he. Do we know how old he is though?
Podcast Producer
I. I mean, I mean her, like her finding this out.
Stavi
Right.
Podcast Producer
I'm telling her, like, if someone told me that at 18, I'd be like, Whoa, that's pretty juicy.
Stavi
No, at 18 it's not. I'm not faulting her for not acting.
Eldis
Right, Right, right.
Stavi
I'm saying I get why this is eating her alive.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Yeah. And I think even though the time has passed or not passed, but it's like it's been a while. I think it's like, tell him. I would like to know that if this were me, I would want to know this information.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
I think this is. This is just such a crazy betrayal.
Eldis
It's very sad, Loki, at the core of it. It's very sad.
Stavi
And listen, also, like I. You also, let's give some grace to this woman who, like the person she was having a kid with died. Yeah. The kid's a month old. Right. She doesn't know what the fuck. And I get making again.
Podcast Producer
That's the other thing. She said he was three when the dad died, which is kind of crazy.
Stavi
He wasn't three. She said an infant and then she said three, which is wrong in two ways. An infant's not three, that's a toddler. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. She might be.
Podcast Producer
Either way, she said, I think like three. Whatever.
Stavi
The kid was young. The lie worked on him. I get again to put some grace to this woman. She went through something insanely Traumatic.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Right. Who she was with died.
Eldis
She's scrambling also, you know, raising a kid to talk high and mighty while someone's raising a kid alone.
Stavi
But she wasn't alone. It was with somebody else.
Eldis
Right, but like, how. Well, there's a period between.
Stavi
Sure.
Eldis
Right.
Stavi
And. And listen, maybe if it was like pure emergency that the trust fund was. But something tells me the way she says used it for the family, I don't. I think it feels like she stole her.
Eldis
Could have been just for catering and stuff like that, like vacation and so I don't know.
Stavi
That's.
Eldis
I need more information also. How close is the family? The family sucks in general. Then you don't owe them anything. If y' all are beating together every week it's a different thing. May. Y' all are tight knit even then.
Stavi
That's. Is that even worse?
Eldis
I mean, it wouldn't change how I see you. What you should do. It will be different. How your life changes once you do do it, which I hope you do. Tell this man.
Stavi
Yeah.
Eldis
About this. Oh my God.
Stavi
And I think you need to do like a. I would also do like a kind of rallying the troops thing first and be like, talk to your mom about it. Be like, yeah, this is insanely fucked up. Yeah, we should do something about this. Or I don't know.
Eldis
I wonder how the finances of the. Of the guy is. You know, if he's poor, it's gonna hurt way more.
Stavi
That's interesting. And also it's like when she says for the family, did she use it to pay the kids college? Did she put. Did she do.
Eldis
Yeah. What a godfather terminology.
Stavi
You know, kind of need to know.
Eldis
Yeah. But for the family is such a weird way to describe it to me that.
Stavi
What that means is that it started for like emergencies.
Eldis
Yeah.
Stavi
Once again.
Podcast Producer
Yeah.
Eldis
Come on.
Stavi
Once you get addicted to that little extra money, it's like we've all got in college. I remember my roommate got in a car accident at Percocet.
Eldis
Oh yeah.
Stavi
And you know, he does. I'd say I check. It took him six months. He didn't have any. I took one and then I looked around. He didn't notice. I. And then we're grab. We're leaving. And it's. I'm cleaning out the. I'm cleaning out the like, medicine cabinet. I'm like, oh, he'll won't notice there was one pill left. And so I know what it's like
Eldis
to steal a little for my dad.
Stavi
And the first time I did it was because I actually got hurt. Yeah, I had like tooth surgery and I asked him for pain pills and they wouldn't get it. And it starts for real reasons. And I'm like, wouldn't it be awesome to take three of these and use my meal plan for Chinese food? And that's what I. You know what I mean? It starts good and then it becomes really.
Eldis
My dad coming home from the hospital, you know, heavy drugs, oxycontin, you know, all the shit. And I'm just like. I'm not even an addict by any means of any kind, but I'm like, okay, it's here.
Stavi
Let's take some.
Eldis
Yeah, I had a train ride back from D.C. take a little. Don't sleep.
Stavi
Sounds awesome.
Eldis
Ride it out. I was a Molly kid for a long time, so get back to those days for a little bit.
Stavi
Yeah. So anyway, I think you gotta tell. Yeah, personally, I think we. We really did dive into this because it was very meaty. But that's. That's our tr. That's our.
Eldis
And I'm just so sorry. I'm so sorry. That's going. That's going.
Stavi
That's crazy.
Eldis
That's really.
Stavi
Sorry.
Eldis
Heart goes out for real. That's crazy.
Stavi
She can't. And your mom is a dumb ass for telling you, too. Yes, that's on her in a major way. What.
Eldis
What. Her voice and what. The story she told was so great. Like, came in. So cute. Firsttime listener. Anyway, here's a bomb show.
Stavi
Yeah, it's a bomb. You dropped the bomb on us and I respect that. That's some. That's something meaty.
Eldis
That's a good fan right there.
DSW Announcer
This summer, don't squeeze in. Spread out. Find homes big enough for your whole guest list on vrbo. That's vacation rentals done, right? Book your stay now.
Stavi
Hey, listeners, Stavi here. Thank you for tuning into Stavi's World each week. If you want to hear new episodes ad free, subscribe to SiriusXM Podcast plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastplus to listen with Spotify or another app of your choice.
Date: May 7, 2026
Host: Stavros Halkias
Guests: Eldis, Usama Siddiquee (PATREON PREVIEW)
Theme: Navigating the Ethics of Family Secrets and Betrayal
This bonus episode of Stavvy’s World dives into an explosive listener voicemail about a deeply buried family secret. Stavros, co-host Eldis, and (briefly) Usama Siddiquee examine the morality, consequences, and practicalities of revealing a long-concealed truth involving hidden paternity, a vanished trust fund, and a family culture of secrecy. The hosts discuss the ramifications, both emotional and ethical, of exposing generational deceit and stolen inheritance in a family.
The episode is a powerful meditation on the weight of truth, the devastation of betrayal, and the courage required to do what’s right in a deeply flawed family system. With signature humor, the hosts probe tough questions about family loyalty and the cost of silence—ultimately arguing that responsibility to justice and individual dignity must come first.
“You gotta tell him... even if it blows up your spot in the family.” – Stavi (07:17–08:23)