My Husband’s POV on The Bachelor, Social Anxiety, and Becoming New Parents

Summary

Stay True with Madison Prewett Troutt – Episode Summary: "My Husband’s POV on The Bachelor, Social Anxiety, and Becoming New Parents"

Release Date: January 13, 2025

In this heartfelt and engaging episode of Stay True with Madison Prewett Troutt, Madison sits down with her husband, Grant, to delve into their personal journeys navigating fame, social anxiety, and the impending arrival of their first child. The conversation is a blend of vulnerability, insightful reflections, and practical advice, offering listeners a deep dive into maintaining authenticity and faith amidst life's challenges.

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1. Transitioning to a New Home and Preparing for Parenthood (00:07 – 04:46)

Madison begins by sharing their excitement about moving into a new house and the challenges that come with it, especially during her third trimester of pregnancy.

• Madison [00:34]: “We love it. Your sanctuary. It really has become that.”

  The couple highlights the significance of their new library as a peaceful retreat, emphasizing the importance of creating a sacred space for their growing family.

Grant discusses the routines they’ve established, such as taking baby classes, which not only prepare them for parenthood but also strengthen their bond. They reminisce about their early days of making funny social media reels, recalling moments that showcased their playful side.

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2. Navigating the Third Trimester and Physical Challenges (02:21 – 04:46)

Madison opens up about the physical and emotional toll of the third trimester, including unexpected issues like tailbone pain and fluctuating hormones.

• Madison [03:16]: “I've had really, really bad tailbone pain, which is so random. No one's ever talked to me about it before.”

Grant provides support, reassuring her of her beauty and strength during this demanding period.

They discuss their first baby class experience, where Grant humorously struggles with swaddling a baby doll, highlighting the learning curve of becoming new parents.

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3. Grant’s Devotions and Spiritual Preparations (05:04 – 09:06)

The conversation shifts to their spiritual practices as they prepare for their baby’s arrival. Grant shares his practice of “dad devotions” where he memorizes scriptures and prays over their baby girl.

• Grant [06:23]: “Sometimes he does. Sometimes he's just like, let's just hang for a little bit.”

Madison emphasizes the importance of prayer and anointing their baby’s room, fostering a spiritually enriched environment.

They discuss the overwhelming influx of parenting information from various sources and how they prioritize seeking God's guidance over societal pressures.

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4. Handling Public Scrutiny and Social Media Presence (12:01 – 27:27)

Madison addresses her past appearance on The Bachelor and how it has impacted her relationship with Grant and their public image.

• Grant [13:22]: “Never seen one single episode, which is a blessing.”

Grant explains that he has never watched Madison's stint on the show, which helped in separating her past from their present relationship.

They discuss the stigma attached to her participation in a reality TV show, especially within their Christian community.

• Madison [17:12]: “We were honest in evaluating this person that you're dating...”

Grant reflects on the challenges they faced being recognized in public settings, dealing with unsolicited opinions, and maintaining their faith-based relationship amidst external judgments.

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5. Overcoming Social Anxiety and Building Confidence (29:00 – 57:35)

Grant opens up about his struggles with social anxiety, rooted in his challenging upbringing.

• Grant [30:17]: “My dad was born in the projects of Illinois out of rape...”

His father’s tumultuous background and subsequent quest for fulfillment through wealth left a lasting impact on Grant’s sense of self-worth and trust in others.

Madison and Grant discuss practical strategies to combat social anxiety:

• Grant [42:23]:
  1. Get out and serve somebody.
  2. When you walk into a room, think about who you can encourage.
  3. Have a scripture verse ready to combat anxious thoughts.

Madison underscores the importance of focusing on God and others rather than oneself to alleviate anxiety.

• Madison [54:04]: “It's about awareness and reflection. Ask yourself...”

They emphasize cultivating a gratitude mindset and engaging in spiritual disciplines like prayer, fasting, and journaling to foster inner peace and confidence.

• Grant [56:52]: “Freedom takes a lot of hard work.”

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6. Maintaining a God-Centered Relationship and Preparing for Parenthood (57:35 – 67:41)

As they approach the birth of their child, Madison and Grant reflect on the strength of their relationship rooted in faith.

Madison praises Grant for his unwavering faith and dedication to prayer, which has deepened their marital bond and prepared them for parenthood.

• Madison [66:30]: “Grant, you have been walking in so much authority and confidence...”

They discuss the importance of surrounding themselves with supportive friends and mentors, such as Jenny and Zach Allen, who have been instrumental in maintaining their relationship.

Madison encourages listeners to seek relationships that enhance their faith and push them closer to God.

• Madison [67:10]: “Don't ever settle for less than God's best and find the man who fears God and loves God...”

The episode concludes with mutual affirmations, prayers for their unborn child, and gratitude for their journey together.

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Key Insights and Takeaways

1. Faith as a Foundation: Both Madison and Grant emphasize the importance of placing God at the center of their lives and relationship, using prayer and scripture to navigate challenges.

2. Facing Public Scrutiny with Grace: Madison’s experience on The Bachelor serves as a testament to maintaining authenticity and faith amidst public judgment, highlighting the strength found in their relationship.

3. Practical Coping Mechanisms for Anxiety: Grant shares actionable steps to overcome social anxiety, including serving others, focusing on encouragement, and grounding oneself in scripture.

4. Cultivating Gratitude: Both hosts advocate for a gratitude-focused mindset, which transforms perspectives and fosters inner peace.

5. Building Resilient Relationships: Honesty, mutual support, and shared faith are presented as key elements in sustaining a strong, God-centered marriage.

6. Preparation for Parenthood: The couple’s approach to preparing for their baby’s arrival blends practical steps with spiritual practices, ensuring a loving and faith-filled environment for their child.

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Notable Quotes

• Madison [03:16]: “I've had really, really bad tailbone pain, which is so random. No one's ever talked to me about it before.”

• Grant [05:04]: “The diaper had never done that.”

• Madison [20:21]: “You're so secure. You're so confident in who you are.”

• Grant [42:23]: “Number one, get out and serve somebody.”

• Madison [54:04]: “It's about awareness and reflection. Ask yourself...”

• Grant [56:52]: “Freedom takes a lot of hard work.”

• Madison [67:10]: “Don't ever settle for less than God's best and find the man who fears God and loves God...”

---

Conclusion

This episode of Stay True serves as an inspiring guide for listeners navigating personal challenges while striving to stay true to their faith and values. Through Madison and Grant’s candid discussions, the episode offers a blend of personal anecdotes, spiritual insights, and practical advice, reinforcing the message that true fulfillment and confidence are found in a God-centered life and authentic relationships.

If you’re facing similar challenges or seeking guidance on maintaining your values amidst life’s pressures, this episode provides valuable perspectives and encouragement to help you stay true.

Transcript

[A]

What's up, guys? Welcome back to another episode of Stay True podcast. I am your host, Madison Pruitt Trout, here with my handsome husband, your boy. Your boy. My boy. My boy.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

My man.

[B]

Your man.

[A]

Man of God.

[B]

Man.

[A]

It feels good to be strength, valor.

[B]

Oh, encourage.

[A]

Should I keep going?

[B]

I love you.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

I love your eyes.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I think the hoodie's bringing out a little bit of your eyes right now.

[A]

And I don't really know where I got this hoodie from, but I really like it.

[B]

And your tummy is just busting out of it. Huh.

[A]

Still.

[B]

So what week are we on?

[A]

We are. I don't know, my brain.

[B]

34, right?

[A]

Oh, you're saying in pregnancy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, I thought you meant when this podcast is coming out.

[B]

No, what week are we pregnant?

[A]

34. When this is being recorded. I don't know when this is be. This will be aired in probably two weeks.

[B]

And you're like, it's hard to move for you right now.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Even setting up for this podcast, which. Where are we right now?

[B]

Oh, my. We're in the new house. We're in a new home. Yeah.

[A]

So I've actually already recorded one episode in the new house so far, but this is our first time recording an episode together in the new house, and I said, this is one of the only rooms. Done. Done.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

So this library behind us, this library, we love it.

[B]

We love it.

[A]

Your sanctuary.

[B]

It really has become that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I feel like being surrounded by books just does something to your spirit.

[A]

That's what I said last time.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Look at us.

[A]

We didn't even. He didn't even remember that video we.

[B]

Did where we were like, look at us. Look at us. We nailed that. That was like a one time.

[A]

Used to do a lot of really good funny reels.

[B]

You had a spree because of our girl Kylie.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Where you were just doing hilarious videos all the time. Remember the one where I. I picked up the. The hair from the bathroom?

[A]

We did, like, a funny marriage. Was it on marriage or was it just like. Oh, it was like living with a husband. Living with a girl, whatever. Yeah. And he was having to, like, get the. Unclog the drain in the shower with my hair.

[B]

Remember the last one where I shut the door with all the.

[A]

He was, like, carrying out all the luggage, and I had, like, a tiny little purse that was.

[B]

That's just.

[A]

That's what a gentleman does.

[B]

That's real.

[A]

You being A good godly husband.

[B]

What's your. What's been your favorite thing about being pregnant in third trimester?

[A]

Oh, third trimester. Let me tell you, it's quite different than the other trimesters. Everyone says that. And then right when I entered third trimester, I was still feeling really good.

[B]

So I was like, well, you handle two like a champ.

[A]

Yeah, two was great. I mean, we moved to Nashville. There was definitely still a lot going on. There was a lot unsettled. Like, I was definitely feel very overwhelmed, just mentally, because moving to a new city and then halfway through your pregnancy having to find a new doctor and like, all this stuff, a church, friends, like, everything was just starting over. It was a lot. But I felt good. Like, my body felt good. Third trimester, I'm feeling a little more, like, settled in my heart, but. But my body. I'm like, are you.

[B]

Why do I want to answer for you so badly right now?

[A]

Oh, my gosh. You asked the question.

[B]

I know. Just let it.

[A]

Gosh, no, I was just gonna say my body definitely has felt it more. I've had really, really bad tailbone pain, which is so random. No one's ever talked to me about before that.

[B]

Who knew?

[A]

Like, I. I've never heard anyone be like, man, tailbone pain is a real thing in pregnancy. I've never heard anyone say that. So that has been really difficult. I've had. I've been a little more moody.

[B]

Hormones are. Are flying.

[A]

Not as crazy as I thought I would be. So we'll see how it progresses. But hormones, bit definitely way more intense than first and second trimester, for sure. But also, we moved into a new home. We have been traveling for holidays. And so it's. It's a lot. I mean, it's a lot on my body. I don't. I can't operate.

[B]

Like, you're just slower right now. You're physically slower.

[A]

It takes me like 20 minutes to get out of bed.

[B]

You're like, kind of rolling to the.

[A]

Other side to roll to the other side.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

It's a whole thing. So.

[B]

But you're. But you're just as beautiful, if not more beautiful, because what's really crazy is you've actually only. The only thing about you that's changed is your tummy.

[A]

I look like I have a bowling ball in my shirt. Or a basketball. We'll go with basketball.

[B]

And I'm just watching you become a mom, and it's really cool. It's really cool to see you, like, get mom things and handle, like, Your body change and. And doctor's appointments and it's. It's.

[A]

We took our first baby class.

[B]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[A]

We took our first baby class.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

And everyone in there is, like, watching Grant and his facial expressions as he's. Because we were given a baby doll and you have to, like, swaddle the baby doll, dress the baby doll, change the diaper.

[B]

The diaper had never done that.

[A]

And Grant's learning how to change a diaper for the first time, and he's, like, trying to figure it out as, like, the baby's literal head is, like, hanging off the table.

[B]

The baby. It wasn't a baby.

[A]

It was like a toddler size.

[B]

It was like a child.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I feel like we walked out of that class more prepared.

[A]

We did. We walked out equipped. But I already felt good. But I've nannied a lot. Like, men don't really. They're not really around babies.

[B]

Here's what I'll say. What did I nail? I nailed how to swaddle a baby.

[A]

And that was my worst swaddle, like.

[B]

And that feels biblical to me. I'm just saying, if there's going to be anything that feels swaddling cloth, isn't that. Jesus was found in the manger.

[A]

Yeah. That true.

[B]

I don't know. Listen, it's a spiritual gift.

[A]

We did take a baby class, and we're feeling really good about that. We have an amazing doula, and we're feeling good about that. I've been reading some awesome books. I've been doing a lot of, like, breathing exercises. But something really special that we've started doing is Grant's had these, like, dad devotions at night, and he'll just speak a scripture that he's memorized over baby girl and then pray over her. And it's just been so sweet. I can literally, one. One time I almost started crying because.

[B]

I have to tell it.

[A]

Okay, you tell it.

[B]

Okay. So I get so excited about this. I've told, like, eight people this story so far. Yeah, I have. And so the other night, what we do is I'll put my, like, head right here. Because they say that the baby at this point in the stage begins to learn the mom and the dad's voice. And so I was like, hey, when this baby's born, I want her to know her dad's voice. Like, when I speak, she's like, that's him. That's the guy that's been outside of my. Outside of the womb the whole time. So I'll put my Face. And I put my face right up to the left part of your tummy, kind of like right here. And I started speaking a verse. And then I'll kind of do a little devotional through the verse and I'll pray that over her. And during this time, Maddie said when I had started speaking over here, she. She was over here. And as I was speaking scripture and walking her through this story, she, like, jumped over to this side and put her face in, like, head pushing all the way out to, like, where I was.

[A]

It literally felt like if you're watching this video, it felt like she was like, what, dad?

[B]

Like.

[A]

Like putting her ear to the. To the tummy and trying to, like, hear as clearly as she could, but she was, like, drawn to his voice. It was the coolest. It was the coolest thing.

[B]

And she was, like, jumping around in there and. And it's been such a cool experience because just we're literally. She's learning my voice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm getting to pray the word over her, so, man, it's wild.

[A]

We prayed over her room. We anointed her room and just prayed protection, prayed God's presence filled the room. So it's becoming more and more real. I mean, we're. We're weeks away. It's coming soon. There's definitely some nerves, but also a lot of joy. And it's just the labor and birth has been covered in prayer. Baby girl's been covered in prayer. And we just feel the freedom to be like, we have the Holy Spirit, the Spirit. We've got community, Holy Spirit. And there's so much information out there. Like, truly, you can get mom and dad anxiety. You can get parent anxiety just by all the books out there, all the reels out there, all the information, everyone's opinions. You should do this. You shouldn't do that. That's really bad for baby. That's really good for baby. And it can be super, super overwhelming.

[B]

What you've said is for thousands and thousands of years, people have just given bir. Had the spirit of God to guide them, and they're okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's what we need to just lock in on.

[A]

And that's what I'm saying. I'm like, there were. I mean, think about back in the past or think about in not developed countries. They don't have access to all the information that we have access to of, like, what's good for baby, what's healthy, what's not. I mean, just all the things. And let's take.

[B]

Let's take it in moderation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And let's be wise and let's not be reckless, but then let's not live in fear.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

So that's our. That's what I'm So far. When we have no child yet.

[A]

Well, and just being so dependent upon the Holy Spirit and that just. That's in every season of life. You know, entering into a new season can be really, really scary. And it's like, oh, I don't know how to be a wife. Oh, I don't know how to be a mom. You know, I remember when we had just gotten married, I'm like, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to be a wife. I don't know what to like, you know, but it's like, okay, the Holy Spirit has prepared me for this and is going to continue to sustain me for it and speak through me and help me and equip me and prepare me, like. And I just had to continue to remember that. It's like, I can read all the books in the world, but the most important thing is that I'm in the book, in the word of God, and I'm on my knees and I'm in prayer, and I'm asking the Holy Spirit for guidance and for help. And so if you're in a new season, that's something we would just encourage you with, is, you know, before turning to. It's great to turn to mentorship. It's great to turn to friendship. It's great to turn even to your spouse. It's great to turn to books and to. And videos and podcasts and all those things. That's great. We're not discouraging that we do that, but more importantly, and most importantly, is to make sure that we're turning to God, that we're asking God first, you know, to fill us, to lead us, to guide us, to give us a spirit of wisdom and understanding and knowledge and how to raise our children in a godly way and how to model. More than anything, they're going to be watching us. So. So how we live our life is probably even more important than what we're, like, telling them to do is just how we live our life, 100%, how we love each other.

[B]

Yep. It's good.

[A]

It's really good because I really love you.

[B]

Yeah, I love you, too.

[A]

And you're really. You're really handsome, dad.

[B]

You're a really good woman. Just keep being that. All right.

[A]

Okay, I'll keep being that. So what are we talking about?

[B]

Today, it's a really good question.

[A]

We don't know.

[B]

We. We don't know.

[A]

That's probably why we're stalling.

[B]

Yeah. But we could go multiple different directions.

[A]

We could. We could. So what's the spirit leading Grant? I could also just ask Green a lot of questions.

[B]

Yeah. Well, here's what I'm gonna say. How about you start with one or two questions for me?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And if I vibe off those, like, if I catch those and run with them in full stride, let's go that direction.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And if not, I'm gonna, like, spiritually discern where we need to go, and I'm gonna pivot us that way.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Good with that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Y'all go with that. That. Let's do it.

[A]

I hope they're good with that. We can't really.

[B]

No choice.

[A]

Hear. Hear them or let them respond.

[B]

Give me a question.

[A]

Okay. Actually, something that. And I actually brought it up to him right before we press record and started filming this podcast, because I almost.

[B]

Called our podcast Press Record.

[A]

Yeah, we did, but we never did.

[B]

A podcast together, because this is Maddie's podcast.

[A]

This is Maddie's podcast. Everyone thinks it's great, but I love.

[B]

That they say Yalls podcasts.

[A]

Yeah, they do. It's so great. Yeah, they're just. Well, because you just add so much.

[B]

Value right before you press record.

[A]

Right before I press record for this podcast, I was like, grant, you know something I get asked a lot from people is, did Grant ever watch the Bachelor? And if. If he did watch the Bachelor, what was his reaction to it? If he didn't watch the Bachelor, like, how does he feel about it? How was that conversation the first time you guys started talking about, you know, you going on a reality TV show? And. And really, the weird thing is, too, when we started dating, it's like, so many people knew me as the girl who went on the Bachelor who was dating another dude. And so it was just kind of like, yeah, a weird thing. It's like, oh, you know, whatever. Like, they. Everyone has opinions on, like, I'm glad you guys didn't end up together. God had better plans for the both of you, you know? And they're, like, saying that to me when I'm sitting next to Grant, and it's just like, okay. Anyways, so, yeah, let's talk about it. I don't even know what the question is. Let me ask this. I'll ask it this way. What was your reaction when you found out I went on the Bachelor?

[B]

I don't remember when I found out. But, man, I have number one. Never seen it.

[A]

Yeah. He's never.

[B]

Never seen one single episode, which is a blessing.

[A]

Okay, so let's get this clear. You have never. Have you ever watched a second of me on the Bachelor?

[B]

Never. Not once.

[A]

He's never.

[B]

Never. Not one time? Not one YouTube video? Not one clip? No. Your boy is a fresh clip. It's clean.

[A]

It's probably a blessing. It's just weird. I wouldn't want to watch your. You date.

[B]

No.

[A]

Another person.

[B]

I'll say this like, we got set up on the blind date.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So when I heard it was who you. And then attached to what you had gone on, I just, like, immediately it caused this pause. Oh, gosh. And I think it was just like, man, you just have to face that head on and go, okay. I don't know anything about the entire situation. I don't know anything about it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Everyone has this stigma when you say the word bachelor. Especially when you attach it to, like, a Christian. You're kind of like, interesting.

[A]

Why would a Christian go on the bathroom? Like, let me.

[B]

Let me just, like, hear more of that. I would say I got a little. I was intimidated. I was just like. I didn't have the knowledge of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All the backstory. So I would say I came in with a little bit of, like, hesitation. Yeah. And just like, when we went on those dates, I was just like, tell me why. Like, tell. Like, help me understand. Which.

[A]

Did we talk about it at all on our first date?

[B]

We didn't. I don't know when we. It was like the phone calls after the first weekend together.

[A]

And we would have like four hour phone calls.

[B]

We were up till like 3, 4am.

[A]

Because he was living in Missouri while I was living in Dallas. So we were long distance for our first four months of dating. And we would have these electric long, long, long phone calls. And it would be like 2 in the morning. And it was the typical. No, you hang up. No, you hang up. Maybe we shouldn't go to sleep. We can just talk all night. Like, we were just. So. We really liked each other.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think you're right. I think that's when we started really diving into, like, past and dreams and all of that.

[B]

Totally. So I. I just needed to hear background story on, like, why.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Had no social media. I think I got one a year before. And so 2 million followers. You're kind of like, okay. Like, that's. That's. That will alter things if we move forward. Like, that will change life in a Certain small way.

[A]

And you had lived a pretty private, super private life.

[B]

Yeah, for sure. So hearing your backstory of why you went on the show was so important. And I was like.

[A]

I was like, man, I heard, dude.

[B]

I don't know why. I just have that Eminem in me where I just want to freestyle right now.

[A]

Every time he talks, the mic is covering his face. Okay.

[B]

No, babe, it was helpful to hear all of the backstory. And when you actually get to, like, talk to Maddie and you're like, oh, God Almighty, the creator of everything clearly led you to go on the show, and no one else gets to hear the backstory of how that was confirmed and confirmed and confirmed. And you fasted and prayed, and your church was involved and your mentors were involved, and it wasn't this, oh, this could get me something. It was. This is obedience. I don't even want to go hearing all of that. I mean, we still had some fights. We had some questions. I was like, like, did you wanna. And you. You know, all those were just, like, helpful to, like, process through with you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you got to tell me your heart. And it still wasn't like, okay. It was like, oh, man. Yeah. Everyone still knows you as the girl that dated a certain dude on public television. So you're constantly like, that's just hard. Yeah, that's just hard. You don't envision that in, like, the early first couple weeks of your dating life to be working through other people that were in your life.

[A]

Well, and I think I. Knowing myself, too, I would have had a really hard time if the reason you were known.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Was dating another person.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

And that that person was, like, kind of attached to who you are now.

[B]

Totally.

[A]

That would be. That would be really hard for me. And so I had a lot of grace and compassion. But I also think that it was the harder component for you was that I really actually loved Jesus and chose to go on the show. Were just like, I think, trying to figure that out. Like, but wait, how did you. Like, you were really in love with Jesus, and you really heard from Jesus that that was, you know, the route you needed to take. And there were some fights and there were some. We went on a break.

[B]

We did.

[A]

We were on a break.

[B]

Pink Puma jumpsuit by Starbucks. And I just said, babe, we. I think we gotta pause as.

[A]

As literally, he's breaking up with me. Essentially. Like, a girl rides by and rolls down the window, and she's like, I love you, madd. Love your outfit. And I think he had just gotten Done saying, like, you know, I think we need to work on, you know, how we portray ourselves. It seems like, you know, the way that you dress and the way that maybe some of the photos that you're posting, it seems like we're really communicating maybe a message we don't want to communicate, which I went on to later, really respect in the moment. I was super defensive. And then the girl drove by and said, I love your outfat outfit. And I'm like, see my.

[B]

Bet. Okay, all right, all right.

[A]

See, I didn't.

[B]

I actually really love that outfit.

[A]

No, that outfit was sick.

[B]

It was fire.

[A]

But you were just trying to say, like, don't put your. You know.

[B]

Yeah. All that to say it was hard. And then we post it. And you hadn't posted with a guy since, like, Bachelor World. So, like, that was just really hard. And I would say the hardest part about all this is we would just, like, walk around and go into a restaurant, and all these girls would run up to Maddie and, like, shake, and he'd be like, hey, can you take this photo of us? And as a man and as a dude, you're just kind of like, you get handed this photo, you're taking a picture, everyone's, like, looking at your wife. And I would just say, or not. Not my wife. My girlfriend at the time. And it was like, soon to be wife. It's just a weird thing. And here's what I'm so grateful for is it was the pressure cooker for who am I in Christ? It was like, a lot of people don't go through the fire of. Of, like, finding out your identity that quickly. In terms of. I was already a believer. I had already lost my sport. So I was like, who am I? Oh, it's I. I am who I am in Christ. But then it was another level of what insecurity lies in there when you walk in a room. And number one, people just, like, look. And number two, they have judgments about it. Number three, you're compared to something that was shown to the world. And number four, they're looking at her, not you. Which, as a man, that's pride. But something comes up where they're like, but, hey, I'm the. Like, I'm the dude. And that's just pride at its finest. But I'm so grateful for it because God refined me to where now I feel like I walk so confidently.

[A]

You're so secure. You're so confident in who you are.

[B]

Who I am.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. But it was a battle, man. Like, people still. I Just. Just. It's so cool because we just developed thick skin together. You'd already done it, but I feel like I got to develop thick skin on what people say, think, or whatever. And you're just kind of like, dude, I. I know who my they are. So when you say they think this, they say this. You're like, who's your they? Yeah, my day is very small. My very. My they knows me. And we work through that together. And it's cool because it brought us. It's a make or break for us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was either gonna split us or be like, totally. Are we about this?

[A]

This Totally. And I loved the fact that you weren't afraid. Like, Grant was never afraid to say the hard things. Like, neither of us were. We very much were honest with what we were feeling. We were very much honest in our evaluation when we were dating. Like, and that's something we would encourage you guys to do and be. Is to be very honest with yourselves, with your closest friends as you're evaluating this person that you're dating and with the other person, you know, to the effect of, like. Like, not something that's gonna really be extremely hurtful to them for the rest of their life and, you know, haunt them, but something that. Well, I'm just saying, because, you know, some people may be, like, you said haunt them. I don't know. Some people may say things. I've had friends that have said things to, like, guys that they're dating that I'm like, maybe you just shouldn't. You could have just left that one in the prayer closet. But I'm just saying that we were very honest in. Hey, I'm like, you were like, I'm genuinely evaluating. Am I the man for this job? Like, I. I know I can handle this, but also, like, do I want to handle this? Like, do I want to step into this? Do I? Do I? Not only do I have the capacity to lead you in all that God's called you to do, but do I want to lead you and all that God has called you to do? Because it is a lot, and it does come with a lot, and it comes with a lot of people misunderstanding you.

[B]

That was.

[A]

And me.

[B]

That was, like, the hardest. It was just when you feel like you're. When you feel like God's given you a vision and a call for your life, and then the woman that he was putting in front of me, clearly, that I wasn't even searching for was you, who had this massive calling on your life and this massive platform on you. And I was like, okay, this all feels extremely right. Like, this all feels like God is absolutely in this. The hardest part is trying to manage what people thought of me. That was where I was insecure is I was trying to be like. But no, no, no, no. I have a big call in my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And when you start to, like, operate from a place of. You've gotta strive uphill to tell someone that God has called you to something, it's just not a good place to be.

[A]

No.

[B]

So I just to confess that and then be like, hey, be free. Like, keeping you. And that was not a one day thing. That was like a. That was months of us walking through different things together. A process on both sides. On both sides. We both were like, can I handle your background and life and all that too. So I am grateful that. I am grateful that we went through all that because I feel like now it's. We're just in such a free space.

[A]

We are so free. And we now, I feel like, have learned how to handle any. Because now it's been. I'm so far removed from Bachelor world that I kind of forget that it even happened.

[B]

I totally forget. I, like, so don't apply that to your life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That has nothing to do with who Maddie is. I like, actually forget you went on the show. Do you remember when we did the Amazon, we just got engaged, we did the Amazon Live thing and we started to do a couple of these things for the first time as a couple.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I just remember that was such a crazy experience because people started. People made like. People would take these clips and make so much fun of it.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

They had all these opinions and.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then. And then friends that genuinely meant well would like take these. Something they saw on Tick Tock or on social media and they'd send it to you and be like, hey, bro, I'm so sorry. I know who you are. This is not who you are. Just know I'm behind you. And I'm like, dude, I hadn't even seen that in life was pretty good until you just sent me that. Now I've seen it. That really, like, if you want to.

[A]

Be a good friend, don't tell your friend what other people are saying, talking about. About them.

[B]

Yeah. It's just not helpful.

[A]

It's not helpful. I think if you want to be a good friend, you stand up for them and then you pray and they don't ever need to know that you did that.

[B]

Just let them be.

[A]

They don't ever need to know that someone said something like that happened to me. It still happens to me all the time where, like, someone will be like, oh, my gosh, I saw this. They're like, horrible video about you. Are you okay? I hadn't seen it.

[B]

Sorry.

[A]

And I'm like, I don't even look at social media. Never saw the video. It wasn't in my mind. Now it is. So that wasn't a helpful thing to do.

[B]

It was so crazy because I remember doing that, and we, like, had shared the gospel. I was so happy. I was so like, this is what I was made for. And then someone's like, hey, man, man, I am by yours. I'm praying with you in this. I'm so sorry. I was like, oh, for what? They're like, yeah, man, they're killing you on this thing. And I'm like, okay, that's. That's just, like, not helpful.

[A]

Well, and people don't know a lot of people in, like, when you're coming from the bachelor world, for example, not obviously, everyone loves Jesus, and a is a kind person. And so when you don't know Jesus, you don't know joy, you don't know peace, you don't know freedom. You don't know. You don't know those things truly. I mean, that's what we believe as Christians. And so from an outsider looking in, if you see two people who are pursuing purity and talking about purity, who are so filled with joy, who are talking with joy, who are sharing the gospel, who are talking about the importance of waiting to get married, to pursue any type of. Of sexual intimacy, you know, any of those things, like outsiders looking in. If you're not a believer, it is confusing, and it is probably like you're mocking them or making fun of them. And for us, it was like, we. We. We know, like, where we're going. We know who this is all for. We know that we're pursuing purity for Jesus and for a healthy godly marriage one day. Not lot for what people think about us. And so even though we had our vision, you know, and we had our mission and we knew our reason for why and all the things, it was still hard. Like, it's like you're going through engagement season, and we had a really quick engagement season. We were crazy. But it was hard because you're going through all of that, you know, preparing for a wedding, preparing for a marriage with all of these opinions about you. But, yeah, it definitely developed in us. Thicker skin. And we, you know, went to premarital counseling. We had a lot of really good mentors and friends, Jenny and Zach Allen. Yeah, Jenny and Zach, who, you know, helped save our relationship multiple times.

[B]

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, I love it. I love it.

[A]

Grant and I have been using Cozy Earth sheets for weeks now. And not to be dramatic, but they have quite literally changed our lives. I love Cozy Earth's products because they are responsibly made and sourced. They are temperature regulated, they are breathable and so soft. Seriously, I've become the best wife ever. Grant cannot get enough of these sheets. I cannot recommend Cozy Earth enough. They have become our new favorite items. Not to mention, I also got their bamboo sleepwear. And, you guys, I cannot take it off. It's my favorite thing in the world to wear. It's soft, it's breathable, and even though you can lounge around in it, it's also a cute set. And so I feel like I'm put together. It's perfect for lounging around the house, for sleeping in, and hey, if you want to go out in them too, more power to you. Trust me, once you try Cozy Earth's products, you'll never go back. You can turn your space into an elevated haven, a serenity, a safe place with Cozy Earth's products. And to get your very own Cozy Earth products, because I'm not sharing mine, you're going to want to go to cozyearth.com stay true. And use my exclusive 40% off code. Stay true. And if you get a post purchase, survey, say that you found out about Cozy Earth through this podcast. Create your own sanctuary with Cozy Earth.

[B]

Okay, let's pivot. Let's pivot. Pivot and wait.

[A]

I have one more question for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you take it wherever you want to go. Okay, so when we were dating, something you really struggled with at the time was social anxiety and anxiety in general. You were still walking through. It was a. It was a hard season for you. You had started struggling with anxiety before we started dating. You were still struggling with anxiety as we were dating. And then especially as we started posting, you know, our relationship online, and there were so many opinions and so many, you know, things people were saying, and you kind of felt like you had to look over your shoulder and. And. And justify yourself and explain yourself. It created even more social anxiety. And so I guess, like, my question is, how is your social anxiety now? And what. How were you able to get through that time in your life where social anxiety crippled you?

[B]

That's a good question. It's a really good question. I feel like it goes all the way Back to my dad, who was raised by a single mom. He was homeless at times. And I want to have a full episode where we go really deep into that.

[A]

Yeah, like your full story.

[B]

My dad was born in the projects of Illinois out of rape. His mom was 15, had him in a parking lot, couldn't afford to go into a hospital. The family said they need to get married anyways. My dad was raised and had nothing, nothing. Alcoholic father. He would come home once a month, beat him, leave. And that was like the trout line, the lineage. Like my grandfather, his dad shot himself, killed himself. And so my dad, who, you know, strove his whole life to fill that void, was said, I know what's going to fix this. It's going to be money and success. And he gets that. And so at 45, 7 years old, he gets everything he ever dreamed of. Through all of his hard work, he becomes extremely wealthy. And what's really cool about that is he was still so, so empty in that. And then he found Christ three years into that. And that changed everything about my family. But then I'm born into a. A wealthy family.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And what's really difficult about that is yes, there are perks, yes, there are blessings, but a lot of my life, I remember my dad sitting me and my brother down at like 6 and 8, and he was like, hey, people are going to want to use you for what you have. And he would even say, like, girls won't like you for you. They will like you for what you have. And it was helpful. Like, he meant it in the best heart and it truly was helpful. But from a Super young age, 6 years old, you're kind of like just being formed to go like, oh, who actually wants me for me? Like, who's. And you, you have to just like constantly. It's just this feeling of like, I can't trust, who can I trust? Who can I trust? And all that to say, like, I feel like when you grow up in that there are so many blessings, but there also are this feelings of just like, you're constantly just like kind of looking like that. And it's a really weird thing. And so I grew up my whole life feeling like I was ashamed of what my family had. There's this weird feeling of I didn't even work for that. So it's like, not mine. Then there's this other thing of people just assign motive and they assign who you are before they meet you.

[A]

So identity.

[B]

Basically, when you meet anybody and they look at you and I'm not even mad at them for this, but they're like, oh, I bet you're like this. And until you kind of go upwards and prove yourself that you're genuine or authentic, it's just kind of an upward battle. So that was like a lot of my life and you just struggle with things. I didn't even know how to verbalize a lot of it. Then you and I meet and so not only was it this like kind of hard to trust people with what my family has, public platform came into it. And so then it was this just like double headed marriage of wealth and platform that made me, it just was like crippling because then I was like, well, who wants to be around me to get to my wife? Or now all these people have public thoughts and then they're talking about where you come from. And all those things just like kind of broke me down. And it's so weird because I was a Christian and I knew Christ and he was my identity and everything. And so it was all just being like, but I love people and I actually love Jesus and I feel like there's all these other distractions and this pressure of No, I think it's really. You're just blank and oh, it's easy to be a Christian when you have blank. And I bet you and Maddie just do this for blank. And you're all just kind of like. It leads you to a place where you're having a panic, panic attack in your room and you're crying out to God going, I just want to steward this. Yeah, God just want to like be faithful with this. What do you want me to do? And it's paralyzing because you're like, well if I do this, they're probably going to think I'm doing it for blank. And all those thoughts which are actually feeding into just fear of man. It's not God, what do you want me to do? But it's been hard. It's been hard. Which led to just being hard to be out with people. Especially after you and I went public, it was just like, what can happen? And you feel this a lot is when people, when you do something that people like watch publicly. I don't even know how to describe it, but you're like, you can get sensory overload very easily when you're like in high, high, like a lot of people situations and like you don't necessarily.

[A]

Feel like you can just turn off and fully be.

[B]

Yeah, just like I remember, like here's an example, like we would be out to dinner and like any normal Couple, like, you might get in an argument or, like, a serious conversation, a few.

[A]

Fights in public, and.

[B]

And it's a little bit weirder when, like, there's a group over here, and then you look over here, and people are either, like, having their phone out filming you, or, like, watching you and whispering, and you're just like, oh, that's. That's new. Like, and they're like, oh, man. Maddie and Grant are really struggling. Like, are they gonna make it? And I remember I forgot my wedding ring somewhere. And I think it's just, like, people can take things and really run with them of, like, oh, they are not doing good. And it just became, like, weird and hard. And that led to just, like, a total breakdown of, who am I? And, like, God, what have you called me to do?

[A]

For sure?

[B]

And it was just, like, a hard thing. And it still is hard. And I'm still in this position of, God, you've given us, as a family, resources and a platform. How do we handle that? How do we steward that and stay pure? How do we. What's okay, what's not okay?

[A]

And with everything in our life, we're constantly asking the question, God, how can we glorify you? And so whether it's. It's through our pain, whether it's through our giftings, whether it's through resources and platform, whether it's through relationships, no matter what you've given us, God, how can we give it back to you? How can we bring glory to your name? How can we love and serve people? And so I think people can look at other people's lives and say, oh, well, if I had what they had, if I. If I had a platform, like, maybe I should go start a podcast. Because if I had a platform or if I had money or if I had this. This thing, then I could, you know, glorify God, or then I could reach this many people, or then I could whatever. And it's like, at the end of the day, you've been given grace for your race. You have been given what you need to be, who God has called you to be. And if I spend the rest of my life trying to be someone else or trying to fit someone else's in someone else's jacket, like, I'm gonna be exhausted. I'm gonna feel like I'm constantly striving, improving, and I'm never content. But when I learn to just embrace what God has blessed me with and then say, God, how do I steward it? How do I steward this in a way that glorifies you and honors you and points people back to you. That's how I live a life worthy of. Of what he died to give me. That's how I live a life worthy of the calling he's given me. You know, And I think that's what's so important. It's not necessarily about. And I'm just saying this because some people might be listening, being like, well, you guys really do have like all these things or whatever. And it's like, it's not about what you have or what you don't have. It's about what you do with what you have. It's about how you point others to, you know, God with what you have. And so you could have no money. You could have all the money in the world. You could have no platform. You could have the biggest platform in the world. You could have one friend. You could have a million friends. You could have, like, your gifts could be to wrap presents, or your gift could be to speak to millions of people. Whatever your giftings are or your talents are or your resources are role is just to point other people back to Jesus. And that is how you're going to feel fulfilled. That's how you're going to feel purposeful. And I would just say, like, something that has been challenging for us is that's how we view our life is like, we don't see ourselves as having anything special or anything different or anything unique. But other people will assign motive to us in those ways and say, you know, and have thoughts or have perceptions or have misunderstandings. But our heart posture is and has always been, we just want to point people back to Jesus. Like, we just want to use what we have to glorify God and.

[B]

And you'll never. It will never be perfect because it, you know, I don't know. There's always two sides of the coin where people are like, it just. You can't. If you try and please people, it all comes back to like, totally, oh, Lord. Okay, I want to start a podcast. I feel like you put that on my heart. It just like. And then there's the other side of the coin. It's like, oh, you're putting yourself. You're doing this. Like you're you. You can choose, right?

[A]

Like, you could choose to live an anonymous. Yeah, you could choose to give everything away.

[B]

There is calling, like you do feel calling in your heart. And so everyone, I think it's right. Everyone has their race. Like, you just got to run your race.

[A]

But I love that part about your dad's story. Because what's so cool is he worked so hard to get everything he thought he wanted. He worked so hard to get what he thought would create in him a peace and a happiness and a contentment. But yet what he found when he got the money, when he got the success, when he had everything he thought he wanted, was he still felt an emptiness and a lack and he was still searching and he was still looking. And I think what is so important for people to hear is you're not going to find what you're looking for in a spouse, in a job, in money, in a platform and followers and success in any of those things. Because just like your dad, he was still, it said, he, he literally tells us all the time. Like after, you know, he had this big mountaintop moment with, you know, success, he said, I woke up and I've never been more scared. Like, I was so scared. And I, I started working again immediately, trying to figure out the next, you know, best thing. Because there's always something else, there's always something more. Because when we're living by the world's standards, like, we're never going to feel like we have enough. We're always going to be striving for more. Nothing's ever going to satisfy, Nothing's ever going to be enough. But it was when he found Jesus that he said, I finally feel at peace. Like, I'm not scared anymore. I finally feel content, I feel happy, I feel at rest, I feel joyful. And that's just the reality is nothing in this world can satisfy. Jesus is the only one that can satisfy. It's not in having this amazing popular podcast or these name brand clothes or this cool car, this big house, or money or your job or any of those things. It's like if you have those things, find ways to glorify God with it, you know, and find ways to put your worth in Jesus and not in the things of this world. But it's not in finding those things where you will find satisfaction. It's actually in finding Jesus where true satisfaction is found. And so I just wanted to speak to that really quick because I know some, some parts of our story may feel like, like you, you can't really relay, or it's like, oh, that's not really my story, or that's not really my situation. And I would just say wherever you find yourself, maybe parts of the stories of our stories you can relate to. No matter what, it's like our perspective should just be, how can we glorify God with our life? I Do want to just, like, wrap up this thought really quick, though, with you of what would you encourage? Because you've come so far with anxiety. You've come so far with confidence and in knowing who you truly are. Like, you're one of the most confident people that I know. You walk into a room and truly, like, so many people are drawn to him because of the joy of the Lord he has and the confidence that you carry. And for someone right now who's really battling with anxiety, what would you say to the person who feels really bound by social anxiety and by pressures around them? What would be your encouragement to them?

[B]

Number one, get out and serve somebody. So when you are serving somebody that can do nothing for you, it gets you off yourself. It gets you, like, off of this, like, obsession with, how am I? What do they think of me? And you just start serving people and so find something, maybe on a Saturday that you can go pack meals for people or you can go help people that have nothing, like, find somebody and serve somebody. The moment that I start feeling super anxious or that social anxiety, you're like, all right, who can I just serve? Number two, it's. You walk into a room and you go, okay, God, who do you have in here for me to encourage? When you go in with a mission mindset of there's someone in here that's really hurting, who have you assigned me to encourage? That's everywhere I go. So we have a. There's a game night tonight, and those social things can sometimes make me anxious. But when you go in with who can I encourage? It just starts to get your mind off of you.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Number three or three or four, I don't know what I'm on, but I would have have your verse. What's the verse God's highlighted in your word, that is going to be the truth for the night. So if it's. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. So you go into your social anxiety situation and you're in it and you start to feel anxious. You either need to take a moment to go to the bathroom, or just in your mind, you need to go through that verse and say, but with Thanksgiving, let your request be made known to God. And you start to go, thank you, God, that I'm here. Thank you, God, that I'm around people. Thank you, God, that you've given me clothes to wear. Thank you, God, that my mouth works. I can talk to people. Thank you, God, for This. This is really good water. And just apply the truth in those little moments, and it's so, so, so, so impactful.

[A]

That's really good.

[B]

There's a lot of things I could say, but confidence is not in your loudness of tone. Confidence is not in how funny you are. Confidence is in, can you walk into a room and actually think about the other people more than you think about you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you walk into a room and go, who can I serve? Who can I love? Who can I honor in front of other people? How can I take a moment and point us all back to Jesus? And you're just thinking about moments off of you and onto other people. That actually frees you from so much anxiety. And the least confident people sometimes are the loudest, sometimes are the star of the show, sometimes are those people, and they go home at night and they're so lonely and they're so empty. But everyone's like, I wish I had that personality. And deep down. So you can still be the star of the show and the loudest and the most fun, but you can be someone who walks in deep humility and. And just shows honor to serve people.

[A]

That's really good, because there is a fake confidence, I think, totally, that the world preaches of what it looks like to, you know, know who you are. And for a lot of. I especially, kind of like, for the females, I've seen this, you know, feminism put down men and, you know, your worth is in what you look like and in the sass and attitude you have. And, you know, there's just this, like, fake confidence going around there that a lot of us can fall into. And I think it's so important that you highlighted the most confident people are those who put their confidence in God. It's a God confidence. And they're looking to reflect and radiate God to other people. And so you're walking into rooms and you're thinking, how can I be the hands and feet of Jesus? Not. Not. How can other people serve me? How can other people look at me? How can other people affirm me? The most confident people, they don't. They're not looking to be puffed up. They're not looking to be fulfilled by, you know, someone else. They already know who they are. They. They already are so confident in who they are in Christ that they can actually walk into rooms not needing someone else to tell them who they are, because they already know who they are.

[B]

The most confident people always add value to other people, and they always bring something to the table. To make someone else's day better. That's a confident person that. It's like, I'm not looking to be filled up. I'm looking to fill other people up. It's really, really important. And I had something really good to say right after that that's totally left me as you were talking.

[A]

Welcome to my pregnancy brain.

[B]

It's rubbing off on me.

[A]

I think it's.

[B]

It is. Anyways. I don't know.

[A]

Okay. That's all so good and very, very helpful, especially for the person who has been just battling with confidence and social anxiety. I. I have heard a lot from you on kind of your. Which I think this has been so powerful. And I really would love for you to do either solo episode or we do another episode where we really dive into, like, your full story. Because I don't think everyone's heard it, but we've heard a lot about things that you've walked through and kind of passed you, you know, three years ago. But now where are you at? Where are you at with anxiety? Where are you at with confidence? Where are you at with Jesus and just in who you are today? Let's jump into that.

[B]

Really good. I'm in a much different space right now. I'm in a. I'm in a place of. So falling in love with the quiet, mundane moments. Just me and Jesus.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's why my mornings are so important. That's why I sit on the floor on our living room and watch the sunrise. I'm not praying. I'm not reading the Bible. I'm just practicing sitting with God. And I cannot tell you how much that's transformed my life. It's transformed my mind. It's transformed the way I hear the voice of God. Because in those moments, he'll bring a verse to my mind. He'll bring new revelation about sin that's in my life that I didn't even know was there. He'll bring to mind people he wants me to pray for. It's just this place where I get to still my heart enough and go, okay, God, it's just me and you. You want to say anything? Sometimes he does. Sometimes he's just like, let's just hang for a little bit.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's the best. I would say something that's been really helpful for me is to end the year. I did 45 days fasting from social media. So no social media. I took a day every single week. So Tuesday was my day where I would fast completely from food every morning with my friend who I'M doing this with. We would text three things we're grateful for. And by day 15 and I stole.

[A]

That and I started doing it with one of my girlfriends. Dude, I'm telling you, so helpful.

[B]

This is so helpful, because by day 15 or 20, you're like, I am so grateful for the way that my thumb works, because I can open up a doorknob and I can text somebody. And, you know, you're just getting to things where you're like, I never tell God. Thank you for my thumb. And something that I've heard from a really good friend of mine that I would love to implement into your life is if all you had today was what you thanked God for yesterday, what would you have today? It's a really good question, right? And we take for granted so many things. I can see. I can literally see people. I can hear. There are people that are deaf. I can use my tongue and talk. Like, there's so many things you could be thankful for. And I think cultivating that grateful spirit just has brought a new level of joy to me.

[A]

It changes everything.

[B]

It changes everything.

[A]

A gratitude attitude is what we like to call it.

[B]

The. The secret ingredient that I see Paul add to most of his books in the Bible that he's written, always include this with Thanksgiving.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rejoice, be grateful. And it especially attaches to prayer.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When it talks about your prayer life, Paul always add the secret ingredient that we don't necessarily love. He's like, and be thankful and rejoice. And it's so powerful. Fasting from social media is a good way. 45 days. I don't know if you can do that or not. Like some people. I mean, it's your job, so it'd be hard for you to do that, but you fast in other ways. But it's a good way to pull something out into the light. Put it on the table and put the pistol to it and go, do you own me? Do I. Do I change the way I go about my day because of you? Do I walk into social interactions thinking, I'm gonna post this? You kind of lay it out and go, how much do you operate in the way that I live my life? Pure motives, 100.

[A]

Because with social media, so much of what we do is centered around social media. It's like, oh, I'm gonna go hang out with these friends so that I can post about it.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Other people see it. I'm gonna wear this outfit so that I can take a picture in this tonight to post about it so people see my outfit and comment on my outfit. It's pretty crazy.

[B]

And by day 45 you have zero clue about anybody else that's not in your everyday life. It is so freeing.

[A]

It's free.

[B]

I'm not comparing what anyone else, because I don't know. Yeah, I'm going to coffee and whoever I go to coffee with, that's the most important thing to me. And if they just had a baby, I wouldn't know unless they told me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Like, it's things like that that you don't realize. You attach social media world because of what you've seen in their stories and posts to how you interact with them in day to day life because you have all that other information.

[A]

It keeps things so pure.

[B]

It does.

[A]

Because then you're genuinely asking questions.

[B]

You're like, how are you? And I have no idea what I've.

[A]

Seen your life on reality reels and on stories. And that's, that's, you know, maybe not something that's attainable 24 7, but I think having seasons where like Grant is saying, you pluck that and remove that out of your life to test, like, are you on the throne of my heart? Are you, Am I living my life centered around you? You know, if that's tv, if that's social media, whatever that may be, like taking a second to remove that and fast that and give it to God. I have seen it's been so huge for you. And in different seasons I've done that. And it looks a little different now, but I still find ways to do that. Even if it's just like a Sabbath day once a week where I'm off social media or I try and go a week without social media, whatever it may be. But yeah, like, that's a really good that. And that has been so helpful for you. I feel like even in growing in confidence, like you have stepped into a season. I told Grant that this, and we may have said this on the podcast, but I told Grant this probably, I don't know, a few months ago of just you have been walking in so much authority and in so much confidence and just consistency that I've just been so proud of and it's been so cool to see. And I think a lot of that is because of your abide time with Jesus. The sacrifices that you make to, you know, crucify the things of the flesh, to remove things that you know are pulling you away from intimacy with Jesus or that maybe is clouding your, your brain or your judgment right now and yeah, just your willingness to, like, walk in discipline and accountability and in the light. And I think those are things that are so helpful. Like, I would love to even just end this kind of talking practically of, you know, what people can implement and scriptures that have helped you and practical steps that they can take when it comes to, you know, social anxiety, confidence, identity, dealing with pressures like whether it' pressures from culture, whether it's pressures from family, whether it's pressures from, you know, even internal pressures that we put on ourselves. Yeah. What's helped you and how can it help them?

[B]

Okay. I would say one of the most important things, you've got to. You've got to be proactive about your soul healing. It won't just happen to you. And so you've got to really fight upstream for complete soul healing. And what I mean by soul healing, it's a weird word. It means, like the truest part of you. If you want to be healthy, you've got to carve out time where there's no phone and there's no anything around you. Distractions, and it's you and God and you're doing deep excavation underneath everything, going, why do I operate like this when I'm with them? Why when I speak, do I get off that stage and go, was that enough? Was that okay? I mean, right now I'm working through things of, of deep soul fractures that God didn't put there that were there ever since a young age. And what I'm. What I'm saying is there was a story in the Bible and Jesus was talking about this certain spirit, and his disciples couldn't cast it out. And he came down and immediately cast it out. And they said, why couldn't we heal him? Like, why didn't. Why didn't that come off with our word? He said, oh, this kind comes off only through prayer and fasting. There is parts of the spiritual realm and hurts that only get free through fasting and prayer. And that is where I said, you know what? Social media, take a break for a second. It wasn't because there was some big sin. It wasn't because there was like, grant, you are so after this platform. It wasn't even that. It was just like, I'm going to put this right here for a second. I'm going to fast once a week. So Monday night I have dinner and then I don't eat till Wednesday morning. And Tuesday is a day of, hey, God, I'm giving you what I want because I want more of you. And things like that can Be really important. And then something else I would really encourage you to do is begin to journal and just go, God, where am I? Operating in a way that is not aligning with who you've called me to be? Sit in that. And what's come up for me, I'll just speak for me, is fear, performance, and shame. Those are three things that I would tell you right now in 2025, I am still asking God, are there any more roots left in me so that I can. I don't walk in that anymore. Yeah, because that's. I. That's. That's been something I struggle with.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is why do I always feel like I have to prove to people that I. I'm. I'm enough? Why do I have to perform for people to like me? And why does shame rule me at times?

[A]

Yeah, that's so good.

[B]

And I just believe God is the one that heals those things. And yes, he uses people, but, man, we go to people before we go to God, and we're skipping that step for him to heal our soul. But. But I would say freedom takes a lot of hard work. I remember Jenny Allen tell me that one time, and I didn't understand it because I just wasn't mature. I wasn't there yet. She just said, freedom is really, really hard.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

It's really hard.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because there's freedom in Christ from eternal damnation in hell, but then there's freedom as a believer that you fight for to operate fully out of your identity. And that takes a lot of hard.

[A]

Work and a choice every single day.

[B]

It's a choice, man.

[A]

To live in freedom every day is to choose to live in freedom every day. You don't wake up just operating fully free. You gotta make the choices all throughout your day again and again and again. Am I gonna choose sin? Am I gonna choose self? Am I gonna choose the world? Or am I gonna choose God? Am I gonna choose honoring God with my body, my relationships, with my resources? It's like. Because the freedom of the world leads to bondage, but the freedom of God leads to life. But it's. It's crazy how we can so easily get sucked into that false freedom, that fake freedom. But it's only when we're operating in the fullness of who God calls us to be and following his Word and being obedient to his Word, you know, that we can operate in true freedom and experience the true abundant life that he has for us. Us. And I love what you're saying because I. I think you're hitting on some things that they can very much go and apply, that we try to apply. A lot of the things that I'm hearing from you is just the importance of awareness and reflection. Like, ask yourself, search yourself and say, you know, where. Where do I feel lack right now? Where do I feel afraid right now? What it. What lie am I believing right now? What, what causes me to react that way when someone makes a comment about my body or when someone makes a comment about my job or, you know, why. Why do I. Why am I so offended from this particular person? Like, why does this one person create a, A, you know, attention or a fear or an insecurity in me? And that shame rises or that anger rises and having those reflection moments and having those moments, moments of sitting with the Lord and really searching yourself and asking the Holy Spirit, God, search my heart, test my anxious thoughts.

[B]

Yes, and, and just. Sorry to cut you off, but, like, those things, I know they sound so kind of sweet. And it's like you and God, it's like, it will be a discipline. It's not gonna feel this sweet time with Jesus all the time. Most of the time it's a discipline. But that discipline develops into a delight when you see what God starts to produce. So don't be afraid to just simply say, hey, for the next 21 days, every single morning for 30 minutes, I'm going to sit in silence and take deep breaths and go, God, speak to me. And every anxious thought will rise up. And you just swim, move those and go back to God and say, God, speak to me. And maybe for the first 20 days out of 21, nothing happens. You don't know that what God is doing is not the instantaneous his transformation. It's this inward bubbling up of your learning to sit with Him. And then one day he just drops his presence and his revelation on you. So what I would say is, discipline yourself. Be consistent. It's not going to feel all this beauty and sweetness and, oh, I love this. Most of the time I don't. But now I've fallen in love with it because I know what it's doing, doing.

[A]

It's not even going to come natural, I would say. Like, I would say it doesn't come. It does not come natural for me to sit there and be like, why did I respond that way? Or why do I feel this way? Or, why does this person make me feel this? It just, it's not going to come natural to you. And it's also not going to come natural to like, Grant saying, sit in silence and not speak or not, you know, let your mind go in a million directions. And all the to do's that you have to do or sit on your phone, but like to actually do, just sit in stillness and in silence. Those things do not come natural. It's something you have to fight for. It's something you have to be intentional about. It's something you have to choose. But what we're saying is it's produced such fruit in our life. It's made our, you know, prayer life stronger. It's made our intimacy with Jesus stronger. It's made our marriage stronger. It's made our, you know, confidence in who we are and what God's called us to do stronger is being able to have that awareness and that reflection and that, that stillness, like coupling it with stillness. And then I would say another thing that you continued hitting on is just the importance of gratitude and thanksgiving. And so, you know, not only should we be taking time to reflect and sit still and ask the hard questions and sit in prayer and, and maybe it's coupled with fasting. Maybe there's something you remove from your life like Grant's been talking about, but I think we also pair it with a spirit of gratitude and a heart of gratitude and a heart of thanksgiving where we say, you know, maybe I'm not exactly where I want to, but praise God, I'm not where I used to be. You know, maybe I don't have everything I've ever dreamed of, or my life looks a little bit different than what I expected. But look at what all God has done. And we have this sense of gratitude. It changes our attitude throughout the day. It changes our perspective on life. It gives us a sense of hope and faith and joy no matter our circumstances. And that's what gratitude does. Like, it just, it totally flips the script of what the enemy wants to use against you to create discontentment and discouragement and distraction and all of these things. Gratitude invites in the Holy Spirit into your situation to say, no matter what my season looks like, no matter what my circumstances look like, God has been so good and God is God and he's in control and I'm going to put my trust in him, not in my circumstances, I'm going to put my trust in him, not in the outcome. I'm going to put my trust in him, not in myself. I'm going to put the trust in him, not in other people, you know, and, and just gratitude keeps you at that place. And so I think that those were some really, really helpful you know, practical things that you gu. Go and apply no matter what your season of like confidence looks like right now or identity looks like right now or anxiety looks like right now or you know, people pleasing, whatever it may be, performance. Those are some practical things that we try to implement in our day to day life every day and every season. And so I think that that was really, really helpful. Thanks for sharing your story.

[B]

Yeah, thanks.

[A]

Thanks for opening up and, and being vulnerable. And I, I want to continue to, to, for you to share more of it because, you know, I've told Grant or Grant's had this spoken over him of just like his story, you know, unlocks people's hearts and, and allows them to see Jesus in a unique and powerful way because of what God has fully done in your life, because of what all you've walked through, because of what all you've overcome and it's been so cool to see as your wife and just the man that you are today. And, and something I just want to end with, with this podcast is I'm just affirming and encouraging him. Him is. And this. We have not talked about dating or marriage or singleness or anything in this particular podcast. But I do want to say, like, I'm so thankful that I married a man who puts God first. I'm so thankful that I married a man who Jesus is the biggest priority in his entire life. Like, I will be having the worst day or I will be so overwhelmed and stressed. But his first response is, let's pray. His first response is, is, you know, he's hitting his knees and praying and you know, just the other day I'm sitting in the room doing something and I can hear Grant in the living room, like praying scripture out loud and praying for our future baby girl and praying for, you know, my birth and, and labor and delivery. Praying for this house and the people who walk into this house and, and just the way that he. You fear God, the way that you love God is just so beautiful and just something I, I always want to encourage the listeners who are single or never settle for less than God's best and find the man who fears God and loves God and will push you closer to God because it's the greatest. It's one of the, the biggest decisions you will ever make on this earth. Like, I have grown in my faith so much since marrying this man and I didn't even know that I could grow more in my like, I mean, that sounds bad, but like, I just was oblivious of like, me and God are great Like, God and I are awesome. I don't really need, you know, I'm just gonna keep bopping with God and it's going to be great. And then I married a man who loves God as much as me or maybe more than me, and he pushes me so much in my faith. Like, you have made me such a just believer of God's word and a person of prayer and just consistency in how I love people. And I'm so thankful for that. And so I just want to continue to encourage all of you listening like, like, make sure you're doing life with people that push you closer to God and with people that help you love God and fear God more. That was just. That was just a. A random tangent. So thankful for you. Thank you. Okay, this is. We said we were going to do like a 45 minute episode. It's not been a 45 minute episode. So let's wrap up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We love you guys.

[B]

We love y'all. Thank you.

[A]

We love y'all so much. And you know, if you're watching this, please pray for us. Pray for us in this new season of Baby Girl coming into the world and for a good labor and delivery. We pray for you guys. We pray for the. The Stay True crew, and we love y'all so much. But if you think about us, pray for us. Pray for us as we're entering in this new season of. Of being parents and. And managing a new home and our marriage and now a new baby. So we love you guys so much.

[B]

Love you, Maddie.

[A]

I love you.

[B]

Really do. The last thing I'll say, the gratefulness text I sent this morning. My second thing I'm grateful for is that you started Stay True. And I voicemailed that to my guy today, and I was just like, I remember when it was a seed and she had a dream and she was like, should I. What should I call it? And I was like, now it is a thing that people are being impacted by. And I was just like, I'm thankful she said yes to that. I'm thankful. So thankful for Stay True.

[A]

I'm thankful for Stay True.

[B]

It's. It's been really cool.

[A]

It's like my favorite. It's my favorite thing to do.

[B]

Yeah. And. And. And you're operating so freely in it, and it's really cool.

[A]

And you guys are just the best. We've met some really awesome people that have shared some really awesome things. I was just telling Grant we got a D. I got a DM the other day really quick from a girl just saying when we talked about the importance of sharing the gospel gospel and she was like, you guys really challenged me to, to go and share the gospel with other people, to share the good news with other people. And she shared it the person next to her on the plane and the girl ended up crying and telling her her whole life story and then the girl ended up, she gave the girl her Bible and, and just like shared the gospel with her and that could change that girl's eternity forever. And so we're just, we're so proud of you guys and we love y'all and we believe in y'all and we know God's hand is on your life and we're just praying for more of God's presence in your life and for you to continue to grow more and more in in your faith every day as that's our goal too. But okay guys, as always, be sure to stay you stay true. We love.