What Guys Really Want to Know About Dating Today

Summary

Podcast Summary: Stay True with Madison Prewett Troutt
Episode: What Guys Really Want to Know About Dating Today
Date: February 23, 2026
Host: Madison Prewett Troutt
Special Guest: (Implied to be her husband, Grant)

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Episode Overview

In this candid, insightful, and humorous episode, Madison Prewett Troutt and her husband continue their two-part conversation answering questions men and women have about modern Christian dating. Weaving in personal stories, faith-based wisdom, and practical advice, they tackle commonly asked questions about communication, “the ick,” handling breakups, signs of mutual interest, spiritual alignment, and how to date with integrity while honoring God and others. Authenticity and encouragement set the tone, making this a valuable episode for anyone navigating dating and longing to "stay true".

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Gives Someone “the Ick”? (03:03 - 06:53)

• Definition: The "ick" is a sudden feeling of repulsion over someone’s behavior or habits, which can be minor (overcomeable) or a dealbreaker.
• Examples:
  • For Madison: Clinginess and someone who eats loudly or with their mouth open.
    • "If you're too clingy, I'm gone. I'm out." – Madison (04:00)
  • For Grant: Someone who dominates conversation and doesn’t reciprocate with questions.
    • "If I ask you a question and I don't talk for like seven and a half minutes, it's a pretty big [ick]." – Grant (04:32)
• Advice: Good dates involve mutual curiosity, active listening, and question-asking from both sides.

2. Dating Well: Listening, Serving, and Breaking Up Kindly (05:00 - 10:28)

• Mutual Respect: Even if not interested romantically, aim to encourage and leave people better than you found them.
• Handling Disinterest:
  • Don’t reject someone at the end of date 1 in person; sleep on it and seek wise counsel before deciding how to move forward.
    • "Definitely not the same night. That feels immature to me." – Grant (09:28)

3. How Guys and Girls Process Breakups (11:53 - 16:49)

• Gender Differences:
  • Girls: More openly emotional, talk with friends right away.
  • Guys: Withdraw, hide their hurt, hurt surfaces later.
    • "Dudes go quieter and they hide their hurt and the hurt comes out later." – Grant (12:26)
• Cautions:
  • Avoid bashing exes, as it reflects immaturity and can complicate things if reconciliation occurs.
    • "Tame the tongue, and be led by the spirit." – Madison (14:27)
• Faith Perspective:
  • See breakups as opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.
    • "Breakups can be crossroads moments for people's lives." – Grant (16:18)

4. Asking for a Parent’s Blessing in Marriage (17:03 - 21:27)

• Experience:
  • Grant discusses the nerves and authenticity of asking Madison’s dad for his blessing, noting the distinction between permission and blessing.
    • "The godly way is you're asking for blessing...not necessarily going, can I—it's, will you bless this?" – Grant (18:53)
• Memorable Story:
  • In the actual moment, Madison’s father was ill, adding another layer of emotion and humor to the experience.

5. Being Equally Yoked and Navigating Differences (21:29 - 25:53)

• Definition:
  • Being equally yoked is about pursuing the same mission and being committed to spiritual growth, not necessarily being at the same “level.”
    • "You don't have to be spiritually equal...as long as they're both committed to the pursuit of growing and being perfected by Jesus." – Grant (22:06)
• Different Denominations:
  • Discuss potential challenges and the importance of sharing core gospel beliefs.

6. Sharing Your Past in Dating (25:53 - 28:52)

• When & How:
  • Not on the first date. Must come before engagement, timed based on established trust.
    • "Don't have to get graphic. Just have to be honest, vulnerable and real." – Grant (26:06)
  • Only share details that are helpful, not those that provoke insecurity or fear.

7. Recognizing True Interest vs. Kindness (29:02 - 31:53)

• How Guys Can Tell:
  • Ask her friends for insight; friends often give away the truth, even if subtly.
    • "The friends will tell you the truth." – Madison (29:31)
• Distinguishing Flirtiness from Kindness:
  • Flirtiness disregards the other person’s heart, while kindness seeks their best interest.
    • "Kindness is never going to lead someone on or break someone's heart; flirtiness is." – Madison (31:03)

8. Emotional Boundaries & Friendships with Opposite Sex (32:13 - 33:54)

• Madison recommends avoiding deep emotional or spiritual sharing in guy-girl friendships unless there’s romantic intention, to prevent confusion and hurt.

9. Subtle Signs a Girl Likes a Guy (34:50 - 36:29)

• Eye contact: Lingering looks, especially in group settings.
• Physical touch: Light touch on arm during conversation.
  • "If I'm locked in like an eye contact, that was a strong sign for me that I was really interested." – Madison (35:56)

10. Safety in Relationships—What Matters Most to Women (36:38 - 40:45)

• Top Priorities:

  • Trustworthiness.
  • A partner's love for and pursuit of Jesus.
  • Being seen for one's heart and mind, not appearance.
  • "I'm gonna feel the safest and feel the most loved when you love Jesus the most." – Madison (36:51)

• Why Girls Cross Physical Boundaries:

  • To feel seen and loved; “Girls give sex to get love, guys give love to get sex.” – Grant (39:32)

11. Holding on to Hope Without Idolizing Marriage (40:45 - 46:21)

• Key Insight:

  • Anchor hope in Jesus, not outcomes or a future spouse.
    • "If your hope is tied to a person...you're going to get into a marriage and really quickly learn, that person's going to let you down." – Madison (41:37)
  • Learn contentment in all seasons and focus on being the person worth pursuing and following.

• Advice to Men:

  • Prioritize spiritual maturity, leadership, and personal integrity before seeking a relationship.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Be a great listener and a great question asker. If at the very least you want a good date, be genuinely curious." – Grant (06:15)
• "If you're not interested, don't ask too many follow up questions in the conversation...even if they think you're a little rude, it's better than them thinking you're trying to get too deep." – Madison (31:53)
• "You are not considering the other person." – Madison, distinguishing flirtiness from kindness. (31:03)
• "Tame the tongue and be led by the spirit" – Madison on post-breakup conduct. (14:27)
• "Who am I? Who is God making me to be?" – Grant, on using breakups for personal growth. (16:49)
• "It's a really good feeling to walk up to the dad if he...knew the ins and outs of our dating experience...like, that's who I want Maddie to end up with." – Grant (18:51)
• "The friends will tell you the truth. And if they won't say it straight up, they'll give you enough hints." – Madison (29:32)
• "Am I a man worth following right now?...Be set apart in your faith and your purity in your speech and your conduct." – Madison (45:36)

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Important Timestamps

• 03:03 – The “ick” and dealbreakers in dating
• 06:15 – The importance of listening and question-asking on dates
• 09:01 – How to kindly end things after a first date
• 12:26 – How men vs. women process breakups
• 14:27 – Advice on not bashing an ex
• 17:35 – Asking for a parent's blessing
• 21:29 – Being equally yoked in faith/different denominations
• 25:53 – When to share your past
• 29:14 – How to tell if a girl is interested or just being nice
• 33:49 – Boundaries in opposite-sex friendships
• 36:43 – What makes women feel safe in relationships
• 40:45 – Idolizing marriage vs. anchoring hope in Jesus
• 45:36 – Encouragement for men to be worth following

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Tone & Language

The tone is honest, playful, and faith-filled. Madison and Grant candidly share both their experiences and biblical principles, speaking with warmth, vulnerability, and humor. They frequently refer to scriptural principles and stress personal growth, community, and godly wisdom.

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Further Engagement

Madison encourages listeners to continue the conversation by submitting questions via Instagram (@StayTruePodcast) for future episodes.

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Summary prepared for listeners seeking trustworthy, practical, and Christ-centered advice on modern dating.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Marketing is hard, but I'll tell you a little secret. It doesn't have to be. Let me point something out. You're listening to a podcast right now and it's great. You love the host. You seek it out and download it. You listen to it while driving, working out, cooking, even going to the bathroom. Podcasts are a pretty close companion. And this is a podcast ad. Did I get your attention? You can reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Libsyn Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a pre produced ad like this one across thousands of shows. To reach your target audience in their favorite podcasts with Libsyn ads, go to Libsynads.com that's L I B S Y N ads.com today. How do I know if a girl is actually interested or just being nice?

[A]

I'm going to feel the safest and feel the most loved when you love Jesus the most.

[B]

I would say girls show their hurt. Dudes go quieter and they hide their hurt.

[A]

Kindness is never going to lead someone on or break someone's heart. Blurtiness it is. You are not considering the other person.

[B]

What makes you feel safe in a relationship?

[A]

How does a guy process a breakup?

[B]

When do I share my past? Definitely not first date. Definitely before engagement.

[A]

The friends will tell you the truth.

[B]

They really will.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

And if they won't say it straight up, they'll give you enough hints.

[A]

They'll give you enough. And so dudes take the hints.

[B]

Yeah. Will you bless me asking your daughter in marriage? He didn't say yes at the start. He goes well. And then settled into like a sentence.

[A]

And I was like, like I'm sweet.

[B]

I was like, well,

[A]

What's up guys? Welcome back to another episode of Stay True podcast. I'm your host, Madison Pruitt Trout. Yeah, we are just round two. This is part two. Part two and we're just keeping the camera rolling but it just was getting too long so we're just dividing it in half. And now we're going to do a Part 2 continuation of asking each other questions of like, what do guys need to know? What do girls need to know?

[B]

Because we want to know. Yeah, we want to know what girls think.

[A]

We're now married, but.

[B]

Well, yeah, but now we're as a collective.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

We, as a generation, want to know about dating.

[A]

And I did say on the last episode that we do have the flu. So if you hear a little nasally, like, that's. That's what's happening.

[B]

It's aggressive, like. Are you claiming flu?

[A]

No, I. I know I've had the flu so many times that I feel like I know what the flu feels like. You get the flu a lot. But I'm now on, like, day, what, three?

[B]

So, like, you're past body aches and chills. So you're more, like, nasally? Yeah, I never got body aches or chills, praise God. So I don't think I got the flu unless my body's just like, we ain't feeling that.

[A]

No, but you're the one who keeps getting sick and bringing it home.

[B]

Bringing it home.

[A]

Then Hosanna gets sick.

[B]

Then I get, like, the paper girl,

[A]

like, bringing it home.

[B]

I'm not bringing it home to my family.

[A]

Okay. What is something a girl could do that would give a guy the ick?

[B]

Wow. The ick.

[A]

The ick. Did I ever give you the ick? I'm sure there are some things I

[B]

don't know, man, because the. It's hard to overcome. By the way. It is overcomeable. Why are you thinking so?

[A]

Dude, I was trying to think if there's anything that I gave you or did that I think you did. Okay, how do you define.

[B]

Is it ick? Like, like, what is that? Just like. No, like, what is that?

[A]

Like, Ew, I don't love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, maybe. Maybe it's a small ick so you can overcome it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Or maybe it's like, that's a really big ache. Like, I don't think this is going to work out.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I definitely like how you. For you. Or is it like, that could be one.

[B]

Is it how you chew? Is it how.

[A]

I would say if. If you were a big smacker and you ate with your mouth open, it would be game changer.

[B]

You would not marry me?

[A]

No.

[B]

I mean, yeah.

[A]

I'm not into it. Clearly. That wasn't. That wasn't the thing. But I would say also, like, an ick that I had before you with God was, like, too clingy. Yeah, no. If you're too clingy, I'm gone. I'm out. Okay. Wait. What about you? What's. Nick.

[B]

What's it. So is it question like, what would be for me? Or like, what are yes.

[A]

Or like guys in general?

[B]

Yeah. Oh gosh. Like quickly. It's like, it's like talking too much.

[A]

Oh gosh.

[B]

I feel like I talk quickly. Like to be honest. To be honest, it's like if I ask you a question and I don't talk for like seven and a half minutes, it's a pretty big like, man. Like I love. And this is just me. So it may not be most dudes, but it's like I, I'm all for asking questions and it's just like, I think like the, the answer and then it's like, and what about you? Like, but I think there's guys can go on dates and it's like, hey, bro, I got out like seven words.

[A]

Yeah, totally.

[B]

And. And there's got to be back and forth. Well, there's got to be this like emotional intelligence of like we're having a full on convo, not just like, I'm talking. So I would, I would genuinely say like girls, think about that. Like when you're on a date, think about like, am I asking him questions too? And like that's what I loved about us is typically I'm used to like steering the ship where we're going to go. And I remember you like hitting me with the questions and I was like, wow, I don't even. I just thought that was really attractive that like you didn't just want to talk, you wanted to hear me talking. Yeah, I brought it up. But just like anytime you like someone constantly makes it about them by tearing other people down or you know, when you bring something up and someone's like, yeah, I have that too. Or like you're like, hey, it's been a hard week. It's like, man, my week's been really hard. Or hey, I'm going on this podcast. They're like, I gotta go on this one. And it's. I think it's like, even if you have something to relate, just like, I think at times it's good to just engage in what they're saying. And that may be more like relational. Guy, guy and girl. Girl.

[A]

But well, and just yeah, being, being quick to listen. I mean, Scripture talks about it in James 1. You know, be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry. I think that's even good to apply to a first date. Like ask good questions, listen.

[B]

Yeah, Be a great listener. And if you're both great listeners, you both feel heard and you. It's like a really good. I think that's underrated. Don't come in with like your 20 questions. Like, wait, but just always be on that offensive. Like, I want to know more about you. Someone told me this and this was like just a ministry. It's benefited me so much. Listen, 90% talk the last 10%. Now that's in a lot of like pastorals. But everyone loves to go to lunch with someone that's a great listener and a great question asker. If at the very least, if you want a good date, it's like, be genuinely curious, be a great listener and be a great question asker. And it's gonna be a good date.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? But if you're just like, what are they gonna ask? When are they gonna ask me about. And you're just thinking about what you want to say. Like that's where things can get a

[A]

little bit like, yeah, totally. And I think if you are on a date and you know, this is probably not your person, I think still having the mindset of like, how can I serve and love and encourage this person? Well, to where like, I'm leaving them better than I found them.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I think is is an underrated conversation that we need to be having of like, there's nothing wrong with, with going on a first date. Like going on some first dates. And like, I mean, I encourage it. I think teach their own. Like, some people are blessed and they go on one date and meet their person and that's their person forever. And to God be the glory. I love that for you.

[B]

But for the rest of us, but

[A]

for the rest of us, that was not my story. And you know, for me, I think it was. I didn't always have that mindset and I wish I would have had that mindset more of just like, okay, this isn't one to what you're saying. Like, it's not all about me. It's not just like having a selfish agenda and mindset going into it, but having a servant mind mindset of like, okay, this is probably not my husband, so how can I guard his heart and steward his heart well, but also like encourage him to where he leaves like this date and this conversation feeling like even better and more empowered and more encouraged. And I think most of the time we're just like, get me out of here. And it's like, okay, that's still like super self, a child of God, you know, that's still like someone who is going to have maybe a future spouse one day. Like, like just encourage them, love them, like, serve them in that way. And I. Anyways, that's just a side thing.

[B]

I think there's always ways to encourage.

[A]

Yes. Which you're so good at.

[B]

It's like, let's say I wasn't the dude for you after date one.

[A]

Like, that's so sad to think about,

[B]

but, like, for you to lead, leave me with, like, genuine encouragement and maybe even feedback. Yeah, like, is really helpful. Hey, I just love the way you engaged our waitresses. Like, you're really, really good at that. I love that about the way, like, it. You can do that and not be flirty. Like, I feel like you can always leave the person with some encouragement.

[A]

And if you would have known at the end of our first date that I was not the girl for you, would you have told me at the end of the first date or would you have followed up with me the next day? Like, how do you think. How do you think a guy or a girl should handle a situation where you go on a first date with somebody and you realize, okay, that's not. That's person for me. Like, what's the most God glorifying way to handle the next steps?

[B]

Definitely not the same night. I wouldn't do that. Emotions, all the things. It's like, sleep on it. Then I would typically talk with my trusted counsel. I'd get my table, my King Arthur table, and be like, all right, guys, here's what I love. Here's what didn't go as good as I thought it would. She's, man, really awesome in the way that she loves the Lord. She's. And I would just start to, like, do that. But I would go slow with that because, like, same night, that feels immature to me. That feels, like, super emotional. It can be the next day. But typically, like, I gathered my guys around that night. Yeah, I sat around the fire that first date night. It's like 1am yeah. And I was like, man, these things went really well. I don't even remember if there was any, like, question marks. But we were just talking about it all. Oh, we were probably like, well, she's got a big platform. Like, how does do I want that? Is that something I can handle?

[A]

And meanwhile, I ran and jumped on Janine's bed. And I was like, I'm gonna marry him. Then I made a video about it.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

I knew pretty immediately. Hey, friends, it's Maddie. If you've read my new book, Dare to be true, I would love to hear what you think. Your reviews mean so much to me. They help more people discover the message and the heart behind this book. So if this book has encouraged you, challenged you, or reminded you to live with bold, bold faith and honesty, would you just take a minute to leave a review? It truly makes such a difference. And if you haven't gotten my new book yet, Dare to Be True, you can go and find it anywhere books are sold. Thank you so much for being a part of this journey and for daring to be true right alongside me. Stay True Merch drop. We got a new Stay True merch collection, you guys. And this is my favorite collection yet. I am wearing the jersey from the Stay True merch collection. And you guys, it is so amazing. It says Stay True on the front, Stay free on the back. It's got John 8:32. It is the coolest jersey you've ever seen. But we have sweatshirts, we got T shirts. This is seriously my favorite collection yet. This is the perfect Christmas gift, birthday gift, New year gift to yourself. You guys, you need to check out this new collection. I'm so excited about it. And you can go to Stay True podcast dot com. We'll also include the link to the exact merch landing page in the show notes. You guys gotta go and check it out. Let me know what you think. If you rep it, tag us. We want to see it. Go and check it out, you guys. Okay, let's talk about breakups for a second.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How. How does a guy process a breakup? So whenever we broke up for that split second or say, I would have broken up with you, like, does a guy go through the same thing that a girl would go through? Like, for example, a girl is probably, you know, replay. Replaying things in her head. She's probably crying a little bit. She's probably talking about it with all girlfriends. Like, how. How does a guy process through, like a breakup?

[B]

Okay, so you've been broken up with.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Okay. I would say girls, this is from my experience, are louder at the start and they show their hurt. Dudes go quieter and they hide their hurt and the, the. The hurt comes out later with the guy. The girl then gets over it and, and it's this weird opposite where like, the girl is pretty clearly hurt. The guy goes silent, and I don't know what's right or wrong. That may be the way God wired us.

[A]

Yeah. Why do you think that is?

[B]

I think the dude is like, we're just not your typical. Like, I'm going to cry in front of my friends. Instantly, it's like, man, I'm good. Yeah, just give me a Little space. And you'll be alone and you'll put that song on. And it's like the little tear comes and you're like, oh, good. And that. But the girl has her girls around instantly. And it's like crying and they're holding her. Both are in pain. I don't know if both are unhealthy. Honestly, I just meet. It might be the way God made us. But what I would say the red flags in breaking up with is how do you talk about that person instantly after the breakup? Because we've all seen people that have either been broken up with or do the breaking up with, and they start bashing that person. And you're like, hold on, you were dating them yesterday?

[A]

Well. And like, what does that speak about your character? If you were in the relationship with that person and you were in love a week ago, and now all of a sudden you're bashing that person.

[B]

It's like, wow, they suck at this. They're the worst at this. And you were dating them for nine and a half months.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So where was all of that? Like, yeah, that shows a lot of immaturity. And I know hurt people, hurt people. So we get that. But be like. What I would say during breakups is tame the tongue.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because then all of a sudden you get back with them and all your friends are stuck with all the bashing you just gave them. And you're like, well, now this is hard because you're back with that person that was like the worst person ever, six days ago. So be careful. I would just say, be careful about your tongue after the breakup.

[A]

Tame the tongue and be led by the spirit. It talks about Romans 8, like, don't have a mind governed by the flesh. Have a mind governed by the spirit. Because, you know, it's the mind governed by the spirit that leads to a life in peace. And I think that we can be so emotional. I know I can be so emotional. And it's easy to just be led by your emotions and led by the flesh and just share whatever you're feeling and whatever you're thinking. And that's not helping anything. That's not helping anyone. Especially if it's, you know, dragging someone down or speaking against someone's character and. And just trust. Like, the Lord works all things together for good. And what the enemy meant for harm, God will use for good. If your heart has been broken and your heart has been shattered, or you've been betrayed, or you've been rejected or you've been cheated on, like the Lord will have his way, and it will work itself out. And it talks about in Scripture, like, don't repay evil for evil. Like, if you feel like you've been hurt and betrayed and let down by someone that you were dating and that you trusted, I know that is so hurtful. And I know in the past, like, I've been cheated on and that was really, really hard. But it does no good for me then to go and bash that person or go hook up with a bunch of people or go and talk about them all over my social media. Like, those things aren't helpful. And it may feel good in a moment, but you're going to still feel the same way afterward. And you're. Yeah. You're just, like, hurting yourself and that person. Really. And I. So I would just. Yeah. Encourage to. What Grant is saying is just like, man, don't be led by your emotions. Take time to, like, pray first, like, before you react, before you respond. Like, take it to God and then surround yourself with godly community and counsel. I would. I would definitely encourage and then just be, like, led by the spirit.

[B]

And I've seen breakups be crossroads moments for people's lives. My brother's life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Bad breakup changed this whole world. The Lord, like, captured his heart in that. Wow. Another friend just came to me with a really, like, dudes get torn up over breakups. And it's typically the moment God uses to go, do I have your full attention now? And it's not that he, like, causes it or wants to cause the pain, but I would say if you're in a breakup, it's a great moment to evaluate, who am I? Who is God making me to be?

[A]

Who.

[B]

Who am I called to be? He may lead you into that season of, hey, let's just be single for a second, because I got some things I want to. I want to deal with. But if you're constantly with someone, I can't give it to you fully. So.

[A]

Yeah, that's so good. Okay, let's do a couple more questions. One question I would love to ask you. This is more just, like, I just think it would be fun to talk about this. How did you feel asking my dad for my hand in marriage? And what was going through your mind when you were, like, preparing for that conversation and, like, thinking through that conversation? I'm just curious, like, what would you even encourage, like, if you're in a dating relationship and that guy wants to take that next step, like, what's. What's the do's and what's the don'ts. And then what was that experience like for you?

[B]

It was exhilarating.

[A]

It was crazy.

[B]

It was crazy. It is behind proposing. It is probably the most exhilarating moment of a man's journey other than the wedding. I would say. I would say it's a good feeling when you feel like you just get to be authentically you and you don't have to be someone you're not. Like, if, you know, you've led his daughter with peace and purity and confidence. It's a really good feeling to walk up to the dad. It's not a good feeling when you're like, I gotta be someone I'm not and go try and, you know, get this approval. So I would say, like, what I felt really good about was that if he, which I hope he did, knew the ins and outs of our dating marriage, of our dating experience, like, he'd be like, that is who I want Maddie to end up with. And so that felt, like, really good. The scariest part was like, okay, am I going in asking for permission or for blessing? Two different things. And I think the godly way is you're asking for blessing. You're. You're. You're. You're not necessarily going, can I. It's, will you bless this? And. And that's a different type of deal.

[A]

Oh, that's interesting. Why would you say that?

[B]

Yeah, I would say, like, Like, I was. I'm a. I was a grown. Like, I was 26 years old.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And yes, that's his daughter. But you are also 26 years old. Yeah. So I think under household of parents, it's, hey, may I date your daughter? It's genuinely like, hey, sir, do I have your approval to date your daughter? I think outside of 18, it's like, we're adults, and if we've made it this far, it's. It's, will you bless us now if he says no to the blessing?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you're any sort of, like, honorable man, you're like, okay, well, that's a big sign. I need to fix some things.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it's like language, but language does matter. Yeah.

[A]

And remember, like, my dad was so

[B]

sick when you asked this story, I.

[A]

That was actually crazy. And I had no idea. I don't know what I was doing.

[B]

No, you. I didn't tell you I was doing it. Her parents are in town, and I have this, like, rehearsed. It's just like, hey, this. She means the world to me. She's my everything. And I'm pacing in the lobby of the hotel. And I'm like, so nervous. And. And your mom comes down in the. In the elevator. And I was like, oh, hi. Where's. You know, where's Coach? He's really sick. He's. He's not going to make it. And I was like, what? And I was like, he's faking sick. He's not going to say yes. Like, he hates me. Like, I was like, he's. He's faking sick. And so she's like, but we can go in there and talk. And I was like, well, that just. Okay, we're just going to hang out. Like, I didn't know what to do. We're sitting there talking, and then he comes down and he's like, ghost white. And sits down at the booth. And I was like, oh, hey, Coach. Good to see you. How you feeling? And every five minutes, he would get up to go throw up in the bathroom.

[A]

Blessed.

[B]

But he knew I was there, so he was, like, fighting to be in it. And I was like, coach, I want to make this very clear and as short as I can for you. And I just went into it, and you have the things, you know, a father, like, as a dad now, I'm like, man, what do I want to hear someone say about my daughter? And it's some commitments. It's like, I commit to pursue her, protect her, and provide for her, and I believe that I can lead her in. In these ways. Will you bless me asking your daughter in marriage? And it's like, he didn't say yes at the start. He goes, well. And then settled into, like, a sentence.

[A]

And I was like, I'm sweating.

[B]

I was like, well, but your mom. Your mom literally was like, we. It's. Yes. And then she let him keep going. Your mom, like, looked at me and stole the mic and was like, the answer is yes. I was like, you and mom have

[A]

always had something special.

[B]

It's so special.

[A]

She loves you. Yeah, I. Wow, that's crazy. What does it mean to be equally yolked in marriage? And how do you know if you're equally yolked?

[B]

Pursuing. Chasing after the same mission. So don't have to be spiritually equal. Don't have to be like, we both know the same amount of Bible or the same amount of knowledge. Like, that's. I think it was pretty clear the first date that I was like, hey, like, what do you dream about in five years? And you're like, oh, I want to do this. And I love. I love orphanage. And I want to tell People about it was just like, oh yeah, we think the same.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, but I would say there's a lot of relationships where the girl is spiritually ahead of the guy or vice versa. And that can work as long as they're both committed to the pursuit of growing and being perfected by Jesus.

[A]

What about if there's like, if you have a different church, denomination or background, like, what if one of you is Lutheran and one of you is Catholic? What if one is non denominational and the other is Methodist? I mean, would you say that that is like, is that going to be hard? Is that mean you're not equally yolked? Like, what would your take on that be?

[B]

I mean that's like I would just ask questions early on and just be like, what do you believe? And if it's anything like other than I believe that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth and life. No one comes to the father through him, then like, whatever you want to stamp on that, like, I'm sure we can work through that.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But when you start talking about different beliefs, it's like, man, that, that will impact how we probably raise our children and teach them that matters.

[A]

We're lost. I'm gonna pull over and ask that man for directions.

[B]

Hi there.

[A]

We're looking to get to the campground.

[B]

Well, you're gonna take a left at the old oak tree end of this here road. No, I'm just kidding. Let me get my phone out.

[A]

How are you getting a signal out here?

[B]

T Mobile and US Cellular decided to merge. So the network out here is huge. We're getting the same great signal as the city and saving a boatload with all the benefits. Oh, and a five year price guarantee. Okay, here's those directions.

[A]

Actually, can you point us in the direction of a T Mobile store?

[B]

America's best network just got bigger. Switch to T Mobile today and get built in benefits the other guys leave out. Plus our five year price guarantee. And now T Mobile is available in US Cellular stores. Best mobile network based on analysis by Ogle of speed test intelligence data 2H 2025 bigger network. The combination of T Mobile, T Mobile's and US Cellular's network footprints will enhance

[A]

the T mobile network's coverage price guarantee

[B]

on talk text and data exclusions like taxes and fees apply. See t mobile.com for details. And I, I like. You hear about families where it's like the dad went to this church, the mom and the kids went to this church. Like that's, I just would not mess around with that. You know what I'm saying so. And I would just, I would say you can work through that. If it's like similar, same beliefs, a lot of people don't know why they're blank Lutheran.

[A]

They just like grew up.

[B]

Yeah. It's like, that's the church I went. That's my parents. Like, no one.

[A]

The most important thing is, like, what do we believe about the gospel? How do we believe that we get to heaven for sure. And like, what do we believe about salvation? And what does that dynamic look like? What's our dynamic look like with. With the Lord?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do we believe that we can enter his presence and confess to him? And, and that we can bring in godly community? Or do we only think that we can have, you know, repentance through another access to another person? Like. Like, what does that all look like? And I think in making sure that you're aligned on the same, like, to what you're saying. Yeah. If you go to, if you have two different denominations and you're going to two different churches, I think just when you start getting more serious, that's probably a conversation that would need to be had of like, okay, so yeah, where do we, you know, what do we see?

[B]

It's like before engagement, probably have. You're starting to go, hey, like, if this continued to move forward, like, what do you think this would look like?

[A]

Right. Do you think you have those conversations really close before engagement of like, how many kids you want and like, what kind of church you want to be going to and all that kind of stuff? Do you think you wait pretty close till engagement or.

[B]

I would say so, yeah. I don't know why you would. It just makes things weird.

[A]

Yeah. When you're like, second date, like, how many kids you want, how many kids?

[B]

It's like, I don't know why that's a question in there.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

But. And I would say, like, when do I share my past? Definitely not first date. Definitely before engagement. So there's this like, feel it out timeline of when is there trust, like

[A]

the details of your past. Yeah.

[B]

Don't have to get graphic. Just have to be honest, vulnerable and real. And hey, whatever you want to ask me, I'm here to tell you.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I don't want to tell details unless it will be helpful.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But. And sharing story as a believer is never meant to invoke shame. It's always redemptive.

[A]

Right.

[B]

It's always, this is what Jesus saved me from.

[A]

Because before Christ, like, of course there's gonna be so many entanglements. There's gonna be so many soul ties. There's gonna be so many things, and I think the most important thing is that that person that you're now in relationship with is pursuing holiness and is healed. Like, they've, they've gone through the healing journey that they have taken time to heal from those soul ties, heal from those things, and they're not, you know, like, it wasn't yesterday that they maybe got delivered from an addiction to pornography and masturbation. Like, like, hopefully there's been some healing that has taken place a little bit before. You know, they're trying to like, be in a committed relationship with you. And so I, I would encourage that at least you want to find that person, hopefully where you're both in a place of like, being healthy, being healed, being holy, so that you can pursue those things together. And, and yeah, I think that's really wise of, like, don't share details of your past. I think that it's helpful to obviously share your past in a way that's like giving like, what you would share, like on a podcast, like your testimony, you know what I mean? Like, sharing those things to where like, that person's not finding out a part of your testimony, like in some other situations that they didn't know about, you know? But I don't think it's helpful to know, like, certain details. Like, it wasn't helpful for me to be like, okay, like, okay, you've. I don't know, like, just any detail of like, your past relationships or like, hookups you've had. Like, I'm not gonna be like, names, give me names, you know, And I'd be like, I don't want to know names, you know, And I think that there's just like, certain things that just aren't helpful. And so I think, yeah, ask, like, is this helpful and, and will this actually bring us closer together or further apart? And is, is knowing this information going to like, give me more freedom and trust or is this gonna turn into like, intrusive thoughts where now it's like fear based and now I'm like, thinking about it all the time. I would just say that the guy should lead with clarity and like, sharing parts of his past, not all of it, and then just saying, like, if there's anything you want to ask me that you think would be helpful to know, like, I'm an open book. And hopefully, like, he's healthy and like, healed enough to be able to like, genuinely say that and mean that. But again, I think as the female, like, just like Ask yourself, like, is this actually helpful for me to know and for our relationship for us to talk about? Okay, so now I think I've asked you a lot of really good questions.

[B]

You have, sweetheart. You've been a great question asker, which is one of the most attractive things about you.

[A]

Okay, so now ask me some questions.

[B]

Oh, are we transitioning from reversal me to asking you questions?

[A]

Yeah. So, like, what do the men need to know?

[B]

Well, I'm gonna go in order for a little bit until I sense the spirit leading us elsewhere.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay, so here's what, here's what I think we really want to know right off the bat.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Question number one. How do I know if a girl is actually interested or just being nice? Because just being nice, like, it can be confusing.

[A]

It can be.

[B]

How do I know if a girl's interested or just being nice?

[A]

Honestly, I would, I would start with getting some intel. Like, why don't you ask her friends and kind of just like get the vibe. Like, hey, is she. Does she like being single right now? Is she interested in dating? What's her type? Do you think she'd ever be, like, interested in, I don't know, someone like me? Like, I think you could just ask the friends, because the friends will tell you the truth.

[B]

They really will.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

And if they won't say it straight up, they'll give you enough hints.

[A]

They'll give you enough. And so dudes, take. Take the hints. If, like the friends are giving you,

[B]

they'll lead you on a trail somewhere.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And if it ain't yes, she will take the hint that like, maybe. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think some girls just can be overly like, flirtatious with like, just like touching the shoulder. Like, I think that was my problem of just like, obviously not, like, inappropriate like anything, but just like touching an arm. Like, like, like touching an arm or, you know, just like, I don't even know how to explain it. It's just like this, like, aura or vibe versus, like, actually being kind. Like, kindness is a fruit of the spirit. Like, kindness is never going to lead someone on or break someone's heart. Like, kindness is always going to be looking out for the other person over yourself. And I think the difference is, is flirtiness is like you are not considering the other person. You know, like, you're just. You're having a good time and maybe just thinking about yourself, you're blaming it on your personality type. But in the, like, you're breaking people's heart, hurting people's feelings and that was something that for me, for a long time, like, I blamed it on my personality. I was like, oh, I'm just a flirty person. Like, that's just like how I'm wired. That's just like, who I am. It's like, no, no, no, I'm a child of God. I'm a daughter of the king. Like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to come into agreement with something that might be borderline sinful and say, that's just like who I am and how I am. It's like, no, no. If this isn't like scripture, if this isn't like loving toward other people and to my brothers in Christ, like, then I keep coming to agreement with, like, this is just who I am. Like, this is just how my personality is. And I would say, like, if you don't get a hold of it, like, it doesn't just go away in like dating and marriage. And so I would just say, like, if you're single and interested in dating, like, just be really intentional of like, how am I coming across right now and is it truly honoring and encouraging to the person across from me? And if I'm not truly interested in them, is anything that I'm doing right now, like, could it come across as like me leading them on?

[B]

Like, and I even remember someone was like, hey, if you're not interested, like, don't ask too many follow up questions in the conversation. Yeah, that is the greatest advice I've been told. We're like, hey, even if they think you're a little rude, it's better than them thinking you're like, trying to get too deep for a moment.

[A]

I would say, like, emotional, There are, I think, emotional boundaries when it comes to the opposite sex, even in having guy friends. Like, there is emotional spiritual boundaries that have to be put in place. I just, I don't think that there should be. And that's probably a hot take. People are probably not going to like that. But like, at least for me, it was never beneficial for me to like, go there emotionally and spiritually with someone of the opposite sex. It seemed as if someone always got their feelings hurt. Like, I fell for that person or that person fell for me. And like, there was just miscommunication there and that we just thought like, oh, friends. But because, like, we shared too much emotionally or shared too much spiritually, like, there was confusion there and like, then someone's feelings are getting hurt or, you know, and it, I just wouldn't say that it's leading anywhere Fruitful or, like, closer to Jesus. Like, I don't. I don't know. I just. I think that's what your girlfriends are there for. Like, for you females, for you guys. Like, that's what your guy friends are there for. And like, have, have your bros, have your girls. Like, that's who you're. You're sharing the emotional stuff with, the spiritual, deep stuff with. And like, your guy friends. It's like, hey, group settings. Like, no, no one on one if you're not interested in them. Now if you are interested in that person. Like, I mean, we, we've had some friends that. I'm like, hey, like, what's up with the one on one hangs as, like, friends? It's like, no, no, no. Like, you gotta, you gotta let it, Let them know. Like, hey, if I'm interested in you, like, I, I see this going somewhere and I wanna, I want you to, like, come and meet my family or I want you to come and hang with my friends. Because I see this going somewhere. I think it just gets confusing when there's these, like, one on one hangs, but you're like, friends, and it's like, wait, so what are we?

[B]

That's a thing?

[A]

Yeah, I don't think, I don't think it's ever helpful.

[B]

I don't think you should do that.

[A]

So, all that being said, I think it's really helpful to ask. Ask their friends, get some intel. And then I would also just say, like, be bold. If you're in a situation where maybe you don't know their friends, like, it's a stranger, and you're like, I don't know if I'm ever going to see you again or, I don't know, you're in a situation where, like, you're not able to, like, ask friends, then I would say just. Just have some. You know, Grant talked about it in the last, you know, part of the episode of just like, I don't know, just like, be bold and don't fear rejection, that it's gonna keep you from potentially getting the very thing you've been praying for and hoping for. You know, I think sometimes we can be more led by fear than led by, you know, confidence or, like, led by conviction. And so I would just say, like, is it fear that's driving you or is it, man, I really, I prayed about this. I feel good in my spirit and I'm just gonna trust that. And even if I get let down or it doesn't, you know, go anywhere, like, at least I tried, like, at Least I went for it. And then you don't have to wonder, like, what if.

[B]

You know another question? What are subtle signs girls give when they like a guy?

[A]

Wow. I honestly would be so interested to ask different girls this, because I wonder if it would be different for different girls. I know for me, it was. It's. It's a lot of eye contact.

[B]

Okay, now, is that, like, lingering eye contact? Is that across the room? Is that both?

[A]

I would say it's like, kind of making glances if we're in, like, a big group setting. Like, I'm kind of, like, making little glances to look. Not too much. I can't. I can't let, you know, him know that I'm, like, too interested, but just like, a couple little glances across the room just to let him know, like, I see him, you know? And then if we're, like, engaging in an actual conversation, like, yeah, it's a lot of eye contact. If I'm personally not interested in the guy. Like, I'm breaking eye contact quick, or I'm, like, leaving the conversation quick. Like, I'm not, like, lingering for a long time. I'm not keeping the eye contact. I'm probably, like, looking at the floor. I'm probably, like, you know, looking around or trying to bring a friend into the conversation, or I'm trying to bounce.

[B]

Looking at the floor.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I'm.

[B]

I'm like, he's really.

[A]

I'm really. Or I'm pulling out my phone to, like, check the time. Like, if I'm. If I'm locked in, like, an eye contact, that was a strong sign for me that I was. I was really interested. So I would say. That's a big one. Yeah, I mean, I would say, like, you know, which, again, we were kind of talking about this. Is this. Okay, but like, a touch of the arm, like, just like, a little. Not anything crazy, but just, like a little, like, physical touch moment of, like, a touch of the arm of, like. That's so funny. Like, you're hilarious. And so, like, a little moment like that. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, those.

[A]

Those were. Some of. Those are some of the signs.

[B]

No, I love that. I love.

[A]

Did I give you some of those signs?

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

So clearly it worked.

[B]

This is deep. What makes you feel safe in a relationship? Wow.

[A]

What makes me feel safe in a relationship?

[B]

Like. Like, girls.

[A]

What makes girls.

[B]

What makes you feel safe in a relationship?

[A]

Again, I think, girl. I think different girls would answer this differently, because I think a lot of this is going to be based on Their experiences in the past. I think for. For me, because of just things that I've been like, I just really. I had to know I could trust you. And so that was, like, really, really important. Like, is he trustworthy? I think two, is he in love with Jesus and does he live a life of conviction? Like, is he, like, I'm gonna feel the safest and feel the most loved when you love Jesus the most? And so I knew that from the beginning of, like, if that's not his number one priority, I'm going to be constantly in this tension of, like, feeling unsafe because I'm trying to get him to where I'm at or to get him to love Jesus. Like, I love Jesus. And that's gonna feel like a restlessness in my heart where I'm not gonna feel safe. The safest I'm gonna feel is when I know, like, the man that I'm interested in is being fully led and submitted to Jesus. Led by Jesus, in love with Jesus and wants to continue to grow in his relationship with Jesus is how I'm gonna feel the safest. I mean, I've had relationships in the past where it was like, yeah, he loved God, but, like, he wasn't in love with Jesus. And I think there's such a difference where it's like, oh, you, like, kind of love God versus, like, you're a man of God. You're a man after God's heart. Like, you are fully submitted to God and love God. I think there's a huge difference in that. Where it's like, oh, yeah, any dude can wear, like, a cross necklace. Dude can, like, you know, know a couple verses. Like, any dude can say a few of the. Of the right things, but, like, I can tell pretty quickly, like, is he, like, actually a man after God's own heart? And that is when I'm going to feel the safest. And so I would say that I think to some of the things that we've talked about, but just like, yeah, like, feeling seen. Like, I want to feel like you really see me. Like, when you ask certain questions, when you really are thoughtful, full in different things.

[B]

I feel like a lot of girls can feel that even in dating relationships where it's just like, I still don't feel seen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, you don't even really know me. Yeah, like, you may love being around me or, like, being seen with me or, like, how it makes you feel. Yeah, like, to feel like a lot of girls feel that.

[A]

Totally. Well, I think that's why so many girls end Up. Even giving in physically.

[B]

Yeah. And maybe I'll be seen more.

[A]

I think for guys, it is like sex and sexual intimacy is so much more about, like, you know, pleasure and just like a moment of pleasure. But I think for girls, it's so much more about feeling seen and feeling loved.

[B]

It's. Girls give. Girls give sex to get love. Guys give love to get sex. You heard that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's, like, not what. How it should be, but it's. It's.

[A]

It's how a lot of the world. Yeah. Views it. And I think that's why so many girls end up crossing boundaries and lines in dating relationships, even as Christians, even when they're trying to pursue purity, because they want to feel seen and they want to feel loved by that person. Yeah.

[B]

And, man, that's a dangerous.

[A]

And so I think when you can feel seen more for your mind and your heart than for your body, that is the safest place to be. It's like when you. When I know you see my heart for what it truly is and for what it can be, and when you see my mind for its strength and its wisdom and its purpose, and it, like, when you truly see me in that way, something that's not going to fade, like, my outward appearance is going to fade. And so I think a woman's going to feel the safest when it's not all about the outward appearance. And the guy doesn't make it about the outward appearance because it's like, okay, I know that ain't going to last. And then if I think, like, that's what got you, then I got to. Now I feel the pressure of, like, that's what's going to keep you.

[B]

No doubt.

[A]

And so it's like, I can't. I can't base it all on that and try to win your love with my appearance. It's like, I want to feel safe and seen by you because you just, like, love my heart.

[B]

This might be the last question. We got a few more minutes. But I think it's really important. How do you hold on to hope without idolizing marriage or a future spouse?

[A]

One of the biggest things I had to learn was, what is the end goal and what is my hope attached to? And so for me, when my hopes felt dashed, for me, when my expectations were unmet and I felt disappointed in life or my relationship status, it was typically because my hope was attached to an outcome and not attached to Jesus. But in the moments where I've kind of stepped back and been like, obviously, I'm talking More from my singleness and dating perspective. But when I stepped back and I was like, okay, even though I'm not where I want to be, like, my hope is in Jesus. And I trust. He is. He is my guide. He is my provider. He. He sees all. He knows my heart. He knows my desires. He wired me. He knit me together. His will for my life is good. He doesn't withhold good things from me. Like, as I began to speak his promises over myself and over my mind and remind myself that he is where my help comes from and he is where my hope is, then I really would feel, I think, just so much more contentment. Whatever season I was in, whether I was dating and wanted to be engaged, whether I was single and wanted to be dating, whatever the season I found myself in, like, constantly reminding myself of, like, where does my help come from? Who. Who. Who has my. Like, what is my hope attached to? Because if you don't figure that out, then that doesn't change when you get married. Like, if your hope is tied to a person or tied to an outcome or tied to temporary happiness, then you're going to get into a marriage and really quickly learn, like, that person's going to let you down. That person's going to fail you, and you're going to let them down, and you're going to fail them. And I learned really fast. Like, in life, you know, life is unpredictable and life is uncontrollable. But if I have such a steady, consistent, like, unshakable foundation of my hope being in heaven and my hope being in Jesus, then that can't be taken or stolen, that can't be tainted. And so, you know, much easier said than done.

[B]

Much easier said.

[A]

Much easier said than done.

[B]

And I don't think, like, I just don't think the Lord is like, it wasn't intended to feel like this. It wasn't intended to be, like, when will I? And is there? And I just don't think the Lord intended our hearts to, like, go through that process of, like, am I totally. That just feels like it's the fall.

[A]

And it feels like because of social media, there's such a blessing of social media, but also, like, a curse with it, too. And I think now we're almost, like, paralyzed by options, you know, like, there's almost, like, so much out there that it feels overwhelming, that it almost feels like it steals from our right here, right now, and being able to be fully present with where we're at. We were just talking with a friend and how, like, A guy came up to her at a coffee shop and asked her out, and I'm like, I love that, because it almost feels like that has been lost in this last generation because so much of it has been online. And. And. And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. We have friends who, like, have met through someone dming someone, you know, so I'm not saying that that's wrong, but I'm just saying I think there is so much beauty in being fully present with where you're at. And then just, like, guys, like, have the confidence and the courage to, like, go for it. And even if it doesn't, like, lead anywhere, at least you don't have to, like, sit around and won. What if. Or could that have been something? And so. And back to what you said earlier, too, like, and take it to God and pray about it. Like, when you saw me, you were like, okay, I don't feel like this is the right timing. Like, Like, I feel like she might be the right girl, but it's not the right time. And so, like, you really took it to God, and you were like, hey, okay, maybe right girl, maybe wrong time. And you were like, all right, just continue to do in me what you need to do so that if that is my girl or whenever that girl comes, like, I'm ready for her. And so I do think it's also, like, having an awareness of, like, for guys, am I a man worth following right now? You know, am I leading myself well? I think what happens so often is, like, dudes, you know, jump into relationships really quickly, and they're not even, like, men worth following. Like, they don't even lead themselves well. Like, they don't even know, like, how to be a good leader. And so I think one thing that was so cool about you was, like, you were leading yourself well, and you were spending time in your word. You had your godly, like, community. You were, like, discipling people. You were plugged into your local church. You had been serving or you were, you know, doing a lot with in Branson, Missouri, like, leading a ministry. You were just, like, pouring out your life loving other people well, leading other people well, leading yourself well to where I could even just see that and be like, oh, he's a man worth following. Before I even, like, went on a date, it's like, I could see those things about you. And so I would even just, like, encourage the guys out there, like, step it up. Be a man. Be a leader. Like, be a man worth following and. And not Even just like in terms of like a girl, but like just in your circles, in your spheres, like with your friends. Be a leader, Be set apart. It talks about it in scripture, like be set apart in your, in your, what is it in your faith and your purity in your speech and your conduct. And so yeah, just I think asking like am I, am I being a leader and am I a leader worth following is a really, really good questions to ask. If you're a guy.

[B]

We could go for hours, do it again. But I think this is really, really, really helpful.

[A]

This was so good things that you said. Yeah, this was fun. I like when you ask me questions.

[B]

You're really great at answering them.

[A]

Oh my goodness. Well, this has been really fun you guys. And we want to know what you are wondering about and what you're struggling with and what questions you have. And maybe these are some more episodes we'll do in the future of just like asking each other questions, answering Yalls questions. So please send them in. Be sure to follow us on Instagram Stay true podcast on Instagram dms. Let us know any questions that you have and I'm so thankful for you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I love you a lot and we love you guys and so we're gonna wrap it up. As always, be sure to stay you stay true. We love. We all prefer things a certain way. Like groceries. If you want groceries just how you like them, you gotta try Instacart. They have a new preference picker that lets you pick how ripe or unripe you want your bananas. Shoppers can see your preferences upfront, helping guide their choices. Because when it comes to groceries, the details matter. Instacart get groceries just how you like.