013. Mo Mandel, Che Durena, & Na'im Ali | Halloween

Summary

Podcast Summary: Story Warz Episode 013 - "Mo Mandel, Che Durena, & Na'im Ali | Halloween"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Story Warz
• Host/Author: GaS Digital Network
• Description: 📖 📚Welcome to Story Warz: A Game of Deceptive Storytelling. Comedians Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez face off with some of the biggest names in comedy and entertainment for this hilarious game of wits and deception… LIVE from The Stand Comedy Club in New York City!
• Episode: 013. Mo Mandel, Che Durena, & Na'im Ali | Halloween
• Release Date: November 1, 2024

---

1. Introduction and Show Setup

[00:01]
Big Jay Oakerson: Kicks off with a humorous remark, setting a playful tone.

[02:01]
Big Jay Oakerson: Introduces the guests for the episode—Mo Mandel, Che Durena, and Na'im Ali—highlighting their comedic backgrounds and new projects.

[03:03]
Mo Mandel: Welcomes everyone to an "extra spooky" Halloween edition of Story Warz.

[03:15]
Big Jay Oakerson: Announces the theme as Halloween and introduces the premise of the game where everyone submits Halloween-themed stories.

---

2. Explaining the Game: Story Wars

[03:45]
Big Jay Oakerson: Explains the rules of Story Wars: Each participant submits a story, and the panel must guess whose story it is while the true authors attempt to deceive others.

[04:15]
Na'im Ali: Clarifies the submission process, adding humor about potential math problems among stories.

[04:44]
Lewis J. Gomez: Inquires about participation, leading to the confirmation that even hosts have submitted stories.

[05:05]
Big Jay Oakerson: Details the prize—a copy of Amy Fisher's memoir "My Story"—and humorously taunts about its scandalous content.

---

3. Story 1: Breaking into Parents' Friends' House to Steal Weed

[06:20]
Alex: Presents Story Number One about breaking into a parent's friend's house on Halloween to steal weed, only to find the friend was home listening all along.

[06:57]
Big Jay Oakerson: Begins to dissect the story, joking that Canadians don't steal and suggesting it's not Luis.

[08:35]
Mo Mandel: Votes for Che Durena, attributing the story to Canadian hijinks, but the revelation comes that it was his own story.

[11:50]
Alex: Confirms the story belonged to Mo Mandel, awarding points accordingly.

Notable Quote:

• Mo Mandel [08:35]: "I have no idea whose story this is."

---

4. Story 2: Dressing as a Gypsy for Halloween Due to Lack of Costume Funds

[16:12]
Alex: Shares Story Number Two about being dressed as a gypsy by grandparents' clothes due to financial constraints.

[17:02]
Big Jay Oakerson: Questions the appropriateness of the term "gypsy," leading to a humorous debate about cultural sensitivity.

[19:00]
Mo Mandel: Admits his own experience, inadvertently revealing his story.

[23:00]
Alex: Confirms the story belongs to Mo Mandel, adding to his points tally.

Notable Quote:

• Big Jay Oakerson [16:33]: "Isn't gypsy like the N word of gypsies?"

---

5. Story 3: Making Firework Bombs on Halloween

[24:25]
Alex: Narrates Story Number Three about constructing firework bombs to throw into someone's backyard.

[32:22]
Che Durena: Explains the technical aspects of the bomb construction, humorously attributing the ingenuity to Canadian gadgetry.

[34:35]
Mo Mandel: Attempts to deduce the storyteller, attributing the story to Che Durena before it’s revealed as his own.

[35:11]
Alex: Validates the story as Mo Mandel's, further increasing his lead in points.

Notable Quote:

• Mo Mandel [26:35]: "This is such a Puerto Rican story that I'm going, I want to do this."

---

6. Story 4: Fake Suicide After a Halloween Party Argument

[35:28]
Alex: Presents Story Number Four involving staging a fake suicide after a heated argument at a Halloween party.

[36:07]
Big Jay Oakerson: Criticizes the dramatic nature of the story, suspecting it's an exaggerated tale.

[40:00]
Alex: Confirms Luis J. Gomez is the storyteller, revealing a theatrical and humorous betrayal among friends.

Notable Quote:

• Big Jay Oakerson [36:07]: "This is a very fun game that is very easy to play. Very difficult, it seems, to explain."

---

7. Story 5: Wearing a Karate Uniform Due to Lack of Costume Funds

[50:43]
Alex: Shares Story Number Five about wearing a karate uniform to a Halloween party because of financial limitations, leading to the nickname "Baconator."

[51:54]
Mo Mandel: Claims the story, but it’s later revealed to be Luis J. Gomez’s own account.

[60:15]
Alex: Confirms Lewis J. Gomez as the storyteller, adding to his points.

Notable Quote:

• Mo Mandel [54:16]: "I've done this before. Lewis has done this to me before."

---

8. Story 6: Getting into Multiple Fights on Halloween

[60:55]
Alex: Presents Story Number Six about engaging in three fights during a single Halloween night, ultimately losing all but sustaining minor injuries.

[63:27]
Che Durena: Accuses Big Jay of fabricating the story, leading to comedic exchanges.

[67:02]
Lewis J. Gomez: Reveals the story as Naim Ali’s, highlighting the struggles and humorous attempts to manage confrontations.

Notable Quote:

• Big Jay Oakerson [65:21]: "He's trying. He's going."

---

9. Story 7: Trick or Treating Beyond the Usual Age

[69:53]
Alex: Narrates Story Number Seven about trick or treating until the age of 18, questioning societal norms.

[70:55]
Big Jay Oakerson: Debates the legal drinking age in Canada, leading to humorous cultural discussions.

[75:24]
Alex: Confirms Lewis J. Gomez as the storyteller, emphasizing his consistent lead in points.

Notable Quote:

• Lewis J. Gomez [84:15]: "I know it is. Che D. I think it is, too."

---

10. Story 8: Making Out with the Wendy’s Mascot at a Halloween Party

[78:42]
Alex: Shares Story Number Eight about making out with a classmate dressed as the Wendy’s mascot, earning the nickname "Baconator."

[85:07]
Alex: Confirms Lewis J. Gomez as the storyteller, cementing his dominant position in the game.

Notable Quote:

• Big Jay Oakerson [80:22]: "All made possible by a little tweak in the game called double points."

---

11. Sponsorship Segments

Throughout the episode, the hosts and guests engage in multiple sponsorship plugs:

• Kalshee: A platform for legal betting on various events, including elections.
• IPVanish: A VPN service ensuring safe and untraceable internet browsing.
• Personal Promotions:
  • Mo Mandel: Promotes his YouTube special.
  • Che Durena: Promotes his "Dark Holes" podcast.
  • Lewis J. Gomez: Advertises his "Legion of Skanks" podcast and upcoming shows.
  • Big Jay Oakerson: Promotes his comedy website and live shows.

Notable Quotes:

• Mo Mandel [14:24]: "Kalshee is the first legal exchange where you could trade or bet on any event..."
• Big Jay Oakerson [34:40]: "I'm going to tell you something. I got IP Vanish and I almost bought a just cause I could..."

---

12. Game Mechanics: Double Points and Final Scoreboard

[48:10]
Big Jay Oakerson: Introduces a new rule—double points—to spice up the game as the competition heats up.

[60:52]
Alex: Updates listeners on the scoreboard, showing a lead for Mo Mandel and Lewis J. Gomez.

Final Scoreboard:

• Che Durena: 4 points
• Naim Ali: 13 points
• Big Jay Oakerson: 14 points
• Mo Mandel: 15 points
• Lewis J. Gomez: 20 points

[87:00]
Lewis J. Gomez: Confronts the deception, maintaining his lead and humorously addressing the panel's accusations.

Notable Quote:

• Big Jay Oakerson [60:15]: "It's all up to an organization. You don't think you have to put."

---

13. Conclusion and Final Remarks

[86:52]
Lewis J. Gomez: Expresses frustration over the deceptive prowess of the panelists.

[87:00]
Mo Mandel: Declares the book "not leaving our possession," ensuring it stays with the winners.

[87:02]
Big Jay Oakerson: Encourages the audience to sign the book, blending humor with final promotional efforts.

[87:00]
Final Remarks: The hosts celebrate the conclusion of the game, reinforcing their camaraderie and upcoming events, while humorously acknowledging the competitive yet friendly nature of the game.

---

Key Takeaways and Highlights

• Engaging Gameplay: "Story Wars" combines storytelling with deception, making it a dynamic and entertaining format.
• Comedic Banter: The interplay between Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, and guests Mo Mandel, Che Durena, and Na'im Ali provides a rich layer of humor and camaraderie.
• Cultural References: The episode is infused with cultural jokes, highlighting differences between Canadian and American perspectives, especially around Halloween traditions.
• Sponsorship Integration: Seamlessly woven into the narrative, sponsorship segments add commercial value without disrupting the flow.
• Competitive Spirit: The introduction of double points intensifies the competition, keeping listeners engaged until the final scoreboard.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Big Jay Oakerson [00:40]: "It’s a very spooky episode."
• Mo Mandel [05:24]: "From the Story Wars library."
• Big Jay Oakerson [14:43]: "We do this a lot. We start coming up with crazy rules out of nowhere..."
• Mo Mandel [34:35]: "Stop saying this, you paranoid Jew."
• Big Jay Oakerson [60:15]: "All made possible by a little tweak in the game called double points."
• Lewis J. Gomez [84:15]: "I know it is. Che D. I think it is, too."
• Mo Mandel [85:07]: "That was Lewis."

---

Conclusion: Episode 013 of "Story Warz" delivers a laughter-packed Halloween special, blending personal anecdotes, sharp wit, and competitive thrills. With Mo Mandel and Che Durena joining Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez, the episode not only entertains but also deepens the camaraderie among comedians. The strategic introduction of double points keeps the suspense alive, ensuring listeners remain hooked until the very end. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode offers a delightful mix of humor, storytelling, and interactive fun.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

Fill her up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Mo Mandel]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The Story Warriors, Big J. Okerson and Lewis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right, everybody. Story wars is back.

[Mo Mandel]

We are back. If you guys, if you were watching the show last week on Gas Digital or on YouTube, you will know that the audio was trash. I want you guys to boo our production staff right now. There's no way that that could possibly happen again this week.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, their jobs most definitely rely on it. When Lewis's eyes.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Two weeks in a row of this. Dude, you are. First of all, you're a fucking powder keg right now, dude. You're ready to explode.

[Mo Mandel]

Powder keg.

[Big J Okerson]

It means you're ready to explode.

[Mo Mandel]

What does that powder keg do?

[Big J Okerson]

Have you never heard Total Eclipse of the Heart, dude?

[Mo Mandel]

I mean, I've heard of it. I never really.

[Big J Okerson]

You're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.

[Mo Mandel]

You know what? Have some candy, folks.

[Big J Okerson]

I really need you tonight. Everybody, this is Story Wars. We are the Story Warriors. Big J Okerson, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez.

[Mo Mandel]

Happy Halloween.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a very spooky episode.

[Mo Mandel]

Scary story.

[Big J Okerson]

Legion of Skanks.

[Mo Mandel]

It's not Legion of Skanks, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean Story Wars. I'm punchy from broadcasting. We have an amazing panel of guests this week on Story Wars. I'll start bringing them up.

[Mo Mandel]

Let's go.

[Big J Okerson]

Our first guest coming to the stage, everybody. He has a new special, trying to make it available right now on YouTube. Make some noise for the hilarious Mo Mandel on the show.

[Mo Mandel]

And our second guest is a brand new podcast called the Dark Holes podcast. Give it up for the hilarious Che Durena. Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

Jake. Jake, grab your drinks, please. Thank you. And our third and final guest on the show, everybody. You know him, of course, from the Durag and the Deer Tag podcast, everybody. It's the hilarious Naim Ali, everybody.

[Mo Mandel]

This is an extra spooky Story wars, if you know what I mean.

[Big J Okerson]

I knew you couldn't help. I knew you couldn't help yourself.

[Mo Mandel]

What? It's a spooky show.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. I giggled earlier.

[Mo Mandel]

Very dark and spooky.

[Big J Okerson]

I giggle.

[Naim Ali]

Completely terrified right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Mo's been never been this white. In fact, I was hoping.

[Naim Ali]

I was hoping I could have sat there and we could have kept, like a good segregation mix, you know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

But I understand.

[Naim Ali]

We're trying to assimilate us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We got a Canadian between us, so you're fine.

[Naim Ali]

That's right.

[Che Durena]

The border guys, you just outed him.

[Big J Okerson]

All three of. I know. Everyone hates you now because you can't vote.

[Mo Mandel]

Boo.

[Big J Okerson]

Story wars, everybody. Welcome to the show here. This is a very fun game that is very easy to play. Very difficult, it seems, to explain.

[Mo Mandel]

It's easy. Look, we've all submitted stories. We're all going to figure out everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

On the panel, everyone, all five of.

[Mo Mandel]

Us have submitted stories. They're going to come up. We're going to all pretend that it's not our story. So if it's your story, pretend it's not your story. If you trick everyone, you get points. If we guess the right story, you get more points. That's really it. We can start playing the game. Does it need more than that, Jay?

[Naim Ali]

So we all have stories or. God damn it. That's why I say every other person has a story and then one person has a math problem that I could. I don't speak Puerto Rican, so if you could just back it up one more time.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, I. Let me wide it up to you, Candy.

[Naim Ali]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone, free stories. You're going to read them off. If it's your story, it's your job to pretend it's not your story. Because for everybody, you fool, you get a point. Okay? If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is. If you guess correctly, you get two points.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, explain it in a less and more confusing way, Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So wait, are you guys in it, too?

[Mo Mandel]

It was not the are.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got stories in this.

[Mo Mandel]

God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

See, I said it already once and then we got that. Yes, me and Lewis are also submitted stories, and we don't know what ours are.

[Naim Ali]

And it can be a book, a movie, or no, God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

Travel and leisure for 500, please.

[Naim Ali]

I don't know what's going on.

[Mo Mandel]

And tonight's. Tonight's topic, by the way, is going to be Halloween.

[Big J Okerson]

And so, you know, we are always playing for something here. Every week on Story Wars.

[Mo Mandel]

It's not for fun. It's not just for fun and gags.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not just for fun shits and gigs. We also. You win a book from the story.

[Mo Mandel]

From the Story wars library.

[Big J Okerson]

From the Story wars library. And this week's book, a used copy of Amy Fisher My Story, a memoir by Amy Fisher, who gained notoriety in the early 90s as the long Island Lolita.

[Mo Mandel]

I do not want that book to leave our library, I'll tell you that much. It's one of my favorite books.

[Big J Okerson]

Then she did rehab house with Dr. Drew. Then she did pornography.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, nice.

[Big J Okerson]

So you could always look up Amy Fisher. She did about five porn scenes. Dude.

[Mo Mandel]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There we go. Very nice.

[Big J Okerson]

You can only do so much when you tried to murder your boyfriend's wife years ago.

[Mo Mandel]

So look, I'm ready to play. I think the audience is ready to play. Everyone gets it. The contestants get it. We all get it. Welcome to another episode of Story Worse. Let's go with story number one, Alex.

[Alex]

Story number one. I once broke into my parents friend's house and stole their weed on Halloween. It turned out the friend was home and listening to us the whole time. And as soon as I got home, I was in trouble.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, Canadians don't steal. He's out.

[Che Durena]

And it's also a lot of simple words. I think it's Lewis. I think.

[Naim Ali]

I feel like if Lewis would have stole from one of his parents. Parents friends, he would have been shot.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys, let me save you some bad guesses here and tell you it's not Lewis because it says into his parents friend's house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That.

[Naim Ali]

That S is a clue.

[Mo Mandel]

I mean, there was a time where I had parent.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but not. Not at an age where you can break into someone's house.

[Mo Mandel]

That's not true. I was four. I could get into small spaces. I was actually the best age to break into houses.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of people knows until Lewis was eight years old, he had mouse bones, so he was able to kind of fold up and go under, I think. He can't get in. He can get in.

[Naim Ali]

He's getting in right into the mail slot.

[Mo Mandel]

Parents friend's house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This has to be Jay in Philly. To do a lot of B&E's, a whole lot of breaking the enterings in Philly has to be Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, for that reason alone, I would argue this is probably Naim.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, J. Jay was doing a lot of B&E's, baking and eating.

[Naim Ali]

But this. That happened after he stole the weed and got munchies. And then he went into that.

[Big J Okerson]

It was a whole multifamily crime. The size I was as a kid to break into a parent's house.

[Naim Ali]

You went in, like, the Kool Aid, man.

[Big J Okerson]

I was gonna say it must have been like a complete. Yeah, like I was trying to get in. Like fucking Richard Sherman trying to just fucking slam it in the doors and shit. I go, there was no, like, hey, there's a window up this high that you can open. I go, I can't get into that house. That would require a thing. I can't do with my body.

[Mo Mandel]

I mean this. All right, so it's not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everybody knows how much I hate weed. Everybody knows that.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah. I don't think it's Naim.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just assuming maybe he loves stealing from his parents friends.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, that's a good love of the game.

[Big J Okerson]

Then he's Robin Hood. He's giving weed to everybody else.

[Naim Ali]

The stealing was the high. The stealing was taking from somebody else. That was the thrill.

[Mo Mandel]

So now you guys, by the way, as we're playing this game, you guys know if you trick, the more people you trick, the more points you get. One point for every person you trick. So if this is not your story, you're doing a great job because I have no idea whose story this is.

[Naim Ali]

I feel like a Canadian. Isn't weed like legal up there? A long time ago, like, ah, true.

[Mo Mandel]

I think you're allowed to break in houses up there too. It's a weird backwards society.

[Naim Ali]

He just kind of went in through the log cabin through one of the slats.

[Che Durena]

You know, I wouldn't be able to buy it as a kid. Like I would have to go and the stealing would make sense.

[Naim Ali]

Well, can I give some extra because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now you're acting like it is you.

[Che Durena]

Is it me or not? I just want to see everything burn.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. Well, let me tell you why I'm leaning to che parents friend's house now. Despite all the funny hahas we can make about his ethnic jokes about the parents. It's Canadian ethnic. So the parents are there.

[Mo Mandel]

And he's half white.

[Big J Okerson]

Stole the weed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, you're half white?

[Che Durena]

I'm half white.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you is a Drake ass nigga. I was just playing in the back. I was just playing. I didn't know. That's crazy.

[Che Durena]

What do you think I was like Mexican or something?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Mexican Canadian.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

So I definitely did think you were black until I heard Canada.

[Big J Okerson]

The white half's just a national. Half Canadian, half black. And then. And so. And here's the other thing too. And then when they got home, he got in trouble. The parents were also cared enough to get him in trouble. And it doesn't feel maybe moving as a crazy. So I don't remember maybe you wore a. Maybe a leather jacket when you were younger and did some crazy.

[Naim Ali]

I did leather yarmulke. But that's. But this is interesting too. How big is the house that they steal it and the parents in the house, but doesn't come up. Like was he in the other wing and he heard them on the intercom like why was he not there? That's a big house. So Naim's out, but I think.

[Big J Okerson]

Fair.

[Mo Mandel]

Mo is on fire.

[Naim Ali]

That's not racism, that's just Philly ism. That's just a poor joke. That's not a race.

[Mo Mandel]

All right, I'm going to start the voting because we can't spend all day debating this. I think it's tough. People are holding their cards close to their chest. I believe my vote right now is going to be for Che Darrena. This seems like something that some Canadian hijinks breaking into your friend's parents house. He gets home and ooh, he was in trouble, eh? So I'm going to say Che Daraina.

[Big J Okerson]

Che had to eat dry pancakes for a week. You got to earn your maple in this house.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh no, it says chemo.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, that's sad. Now it's making me feel bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Kimoche.

[Mo Mandel]

Kimoche. It's like a hot American Indian girl. Kimoche, Kimoche, Kimoche, Kimoche. So we got one, two, three, four votes for Jay, one vote for Mo. Alex, whose story was that?

[Alex]

That was Mo Mandel's story.

[Naim Ali]

God dam it, baby. All up in your heads, bro. Like puppets on a string.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a second, hang on. I'm going to bum.

[Che Durena]

Only white people get in trouble. Okay.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah.

[Che Durena]

Get in trouble. Dude, it's a board game.

[Naim Ali]

God damn. I might as well have said I got put on timeout.

[Che Durena]

I know what the whites are up to. I'm half white.

[Big J Okerson]

Research.

[Mo Mandel]

I was not expecting that out of you.

[Naim Ali]

No stones for a month.

[Big J Okerson]

A nice opening round.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

That's nice. Opening round for Mo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Mo Mandel]

Wow. So talk, talk to us about the story. What happened?

[Naim Ali]

All right, so my parents were like halfway involved in a commune and and so they had like we would go up for these like big parties and be bonfires and shit. And we were about 12 and one of the guys who lived on the commune, rest in peace. Endra, about a 6 foot 6 Hungarian guy.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a great name.

[Naim Ali]

He looked like a fucking pirate and he lived in like a yurt. And we were like, dude, Endra is a huge pothead. Like let's go steal Endra's fucking weed. And we thought we were so cool we stole his weed but we didn't have anything to smoke it with so we had to like make it out of tinfoil and just sort of basically smoke metal. And then it turned out Ender had been like under his covers the whole time in this one room yurt just listening to these 12 year old kids steal his weed. And he was fucking pissed.

[Big J Okerson]

How pissed could endure be?

[Naim Ali]

You guys know Andrew. He gets fucking pissed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, what the fuck is a yurf?

[Naim Ali]

A yurt is like a white person teepee.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

It's almost like a gazebo with blankets surrounding it.

[Naim Ali]

It was early cultural appropriation, you know?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's how we call bitches in Philly. We'd be like, you're. That's how we get here. Hey, here. That's how we get the bitches in Philly, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's also. It's kind of like the word. It's kind of like the word John, though. Like, yurt is going to be almost getting anyone's attention, really.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, true.

[Big J Okerson]

But yurt is how I'd write that. Y, E R T.

[Mo Mandel]

Alex talked us about the points.

[Alex]

All right, you guys, I have a Lewis, J and Naim with zero points each, Che Durano with two points and Mo with three.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

So Che gets two points for properly. For. For tricking.

[Alex]

No, for guessing correctly.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm sorry. For guessing correctly. Yeah.

[Che Durena]

This dude doesn't even know his own game, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn it. This is an awkward episode of Legion of Skanks.

[Mo Mandel]

Let's take a quick moment to thank one of our incredible sponsors, which is Kelsey Jay. I don't know if you know who is going to win the presidential election.

[Big J Okerson]

Tony Hinchcliffe, or.

[Mo Mandel]

Or how many seats the Democrats or Republicans are going to win in the House or Senate, but 26. But there's finally a legal way.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a handicap.

[Mo Mandel]

To bet on the outcome of these elections. A platform called Kalshee. I didn't realize that people were illegally betting on elections, but I'm the best.

[Big J Okerson]

Handicapper in the game for this.

[Mo Mandel]

You're the most handicapped person. Yeah, look, Kalshee is the first legal exchange where you could trade or bet on any event, including, but not limited to elections. And they went to court, actually, and they won legal approval for election betting for the first time in over 100 years. I was like, they don't have to tell people that.

[Big J Okerson]

No, just do it.

[Mo Mandel]

They have markets on who will win the presidential election, who's going to control the House and Senate, who's going to win swing states and more. Kalshee is already being used by hundreds of thousands of people, and it's facilitated close to $1 billion worth of trades.

[Big J Okerson]

So put your money where your mouth is, everybody, and give Kalshee a try. Sign up using our link kalshee.com wars with a Z. That's K-A-L-S-H-I.com W a R, Z and the first 500 traders who deposit 100 will get a free 20 credit. That's Cowshe kalshi.com wars to get a 28 credit. We're very happy to have Couches a sponsor. Check them out. All right, let's get back into it.

[Mo Mandel]

Alex. Story number two.

[Alex]

Story number two. When I was very young, my parents didn't have money for a costume, so they made me a gypsy by dressing me in my grandma's clothes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my.

[Big J Okerson]

Isn't gypsy like the N word of gypsies?

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, I don't think it's. I don't think they're a big fan of that word.

[Big J Okerson]

What's the other thing? What do you call them? Like pack travelers or.

[Che Durena]

There's not enough of them for it to matter, though. They're not.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, they can't get you. But now, did they dress them like a gypsy using the clothes or was the grandma a gypsy and thus. That's why they look like a grandma.

[Big J Okerson]

Clothes on any child. They look like you put a crystal.

[Naim Ali]

Ball in front of them.

[Big J Okerson]

They're a palm reader.

[Naim Ali]

Right. That's gypsy. I always forget you're a father.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, yes.

[Naim Ali]

You have this kind of insight.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, dude, we have gyps.

[Big J Okerson]

My daughter. Right.

[Naim Ali]

Of course I forget that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Aren't gypsies Jews? I thought gypsy. No, no.

[Naim Ali]

You know why you most that is up?

[Big J Okerson]

Why? Because they killed both in the hall.

[Naim Ali]

No, I could.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Naim Ali]

But I could connect the dots because you either say you got jipped or you got jewed. You know what I mean? So we, we come together on being slurs for cheap. And that's the story of Hanukkah.

[Mo Mandel]

This great Mandel. I, I, I, I, I don't, I don't know the term gypsy from this area. So this is why I'm thinking it could be Che, because I feel like that's a Canadian thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Canada.

[Naim Ali]

They're not gypsy.

[Che Durena]

Yeah, I don't think we have gypsies.

[Naim Ali]

They got, like, hippies in Canada.

[Che Durena]

N. Anyone that was, like, kind of off, we murdered them, dude. We murdered there.

[Naim Ali]

I think it's Jay because he looks a bit like a gypsy woman now. You know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So, okay, this is an argument.

[Naim Ali]

There is an argument. A lot of jewelry.

[Che Durena]

A lazy white parenting move, too. This is kind of white trashy. I get that kind of vibe.

[Big J Okerson]

It's fair.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not Louis. He doesn't have. He doesn't know his grandma. No way in hell Did Lewis ever know his grandma?

[Mo Mandel]

I knew my grandma. My grandma Rose. Thank you very much.

[Big J Okerson]

I was very close.

[Mo Mandel]

She called me the N word of grand Thanksgiving Day.

[Naim Ali]

I would say we have very different stereotypes, because I would have guessed he was raised by his grandma.

[Big J Okerson]

He's also Puerto Rican, so his grandma was only like 15 years.

[Naim Ali]

They walked. They were sharing homework assignments.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think they dressed them like Gypsy, the Broadway smash musical?

[Naim Ali]

What does a gypsy dress like? Too piratey?

[Big J Okerson]

I would say.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, that's kind of.

[Che Durena]

Pirate is definitely the vibe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think it's you, Jay. This has to be you. This has to be you, Jay.

[Mo Mandel]

I mean, this does sound like a J story.

[Big J Okerson]

Sounds like a J story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're very decorative now. You know, you wear a lot of things.

[Mo Mandel]

This was the moment that inspired him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Mo Mandel]

He's like, I love bracelets.

[Big J Okerson]

And also J phase. I keep a little something. I kept bracelets for my gypsy face.

[Naim Ali]

And you were.

[Big J Okerson]

I keep the jorts from my wigger era.

[Naim Ali]

You were a portly child, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. So busty was the polite Busty.

[Naim Ali]

And if you think about. Well, I'm sure certain creepy neighbors thought of you as busty.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'm sure. But the most. One of the most famous. One of the most famous pedophiles in the world.

[Naim Ali]

Weird. Always a weird way to start a sentence.

[Mo Mandel]

Wait, what?

[Naim Ali]

Always. It's going to be a weird brag.

[Big J Okerson]

Either way, you're too young to remember the Uncle Eddie story in, oh, from.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like, Kensington or some shit. Frankfurt or something like that.

[Big J Okerson]

It was outside West Philadelphia. But he was a guy who would pay. He would come to your school and he would offer to pay kids for their used underwear.

[Che Durena]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

And you could also. He would pay you to go to his house and like, piss or take a dump on him or all kinds of crazy shit. People used to, like an atm. Never got invited once. I would go, man. I would really. In the mornings, I would take my little tighty whitey's and I would really cram them in my butt cheeks. Cause if I saw his van, I would be having like, dude, dude, like Uncle Eddie, look him up, yo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of young men were bummed out when that guy went to jail for tax shit.

[Naim Ali]

And a lot of local businesses were like, yeah, the kids don't come in for ice cream anymore.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not kidding. It was like a Chuck graffiti. People call Howard Stern talk about this. They'd be like, yeah, he wouldn't. He didn't, like, make you, like, have sex with or anything. He Would ask you if you would, but if you were like, no, dude, I'm just here to take a dump for you, he'd be like, all right, well, here's the hundred we agreed on.

[Naim Ali]

Dude, I like this guy. Frankly, I like this guy. You know what I mean? He seems like a standup guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I looked for him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Good egg.

[Mo Mandel]

I think Jay is deflecting. I gotta be honest with you. He went into a crazy left turn for almost no reason at all. For no reason.

[Naim Ali]

What is it when you're lying? Then you get nervous and start confiding that you were molested? What is that? What kind of weird projection technique is that?

[Mo Mandel]

I think it's big.

[Naim Ali]

Definitely BJ 100.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, definitely.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you guys are giving points? If this is Mo, we're.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's crazy. It better not be Mo.

[Mo Mandel]

Twice in a row and the game's just over.

[Big J Okerson]

Big. Big Busty J. Big Busty J. Oh, man. Who is getting.

[Mo Mandel]

All right, we got. Everyone says Big J except for J.J. says Che. Alex, who is it?

[Alex]

That was Louis J. Gomez.

[Naim Ali]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the hell?

[Mo Mandel]

And that's how you play the game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the.

[Mo Mandel]

And that's how the game is played, boys.

[Che Durena]

Damn it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys are too good of liars. I don't know.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, it was me and my sister both that year. We were both gypsies that year for Halloween. Cuz my fucking mother. Yeah, she just didn't have money for costumes. And you think about it, it's like costumes are just do something. And they just put us in our grandma's shitty clothing and they put like a bandana around my head and I fucking. Yeah, I was. I didn't know what a gypsy was. I didn't realize that it was a racist term.

[Big J Okerson]

Your father was alive for this?

[Mo Mandel]

It might have been the year my father died. It was the saddest year of my life.

[Big J Okerson]

Floating around dressed like a girl in your mom's house. Your grandma's naked.

[Mo Mandel]

My grandma only had one outfit. Yeah, dude. So, yeah, that was that. Alex, points.

[Che Durena]

God damn.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn.

[Alex]

On the board, I have Big J and Naim with zero points each. Che with two points, Mo with three points, and Lewis with four points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn you.

[Naim Ali]

Why do you have four? I don't understand. Why do you have four?

[Mo Mandel]

Tricked everybody on the panel. Every point per person.

[Naim Ali]

Okay, cheaters, I feel like we just got gypped.

[Mo Mandel]

Also. By the way, guys, I'm getting very high off of this THC drink.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, hell yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

I gotta. We gotta get a sponsorship because this is so good.

[Big J Okerson]

Why do we get a sponsorship for the things you like exclusively?

[Mo Mandel]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we should get a sponsorship for my size shirt.

[Mo Mandel]

J.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you.

[Mo Mandel]

Do you think I want a sponsorship because I want free weed drink? No, I wanted to get paid because I think this is a great product.

[Big J Okerson]

I hate it.

[Mo Mandel]

Why would you say that?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't even notice. You're not making no side deals without me.

[Mo Mandel]

It's not a side deal. You'll also get paid, you paranoid Jew.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, here we go. This is how he does it. He prays on my Judaism and then. And then. Don't forget you're Puerto Rican. Unscrupulous.

[Mo Mandel]

Thank you, alex. Story number three. Story number three.

[Alex]

Story number 3. As a kid on Halloween, my friends and I would tape fireworks together with electrical tape, smash them with a hammer to make a bomb, light it and throw it into someone's backyard.

[Big J Okerson]

What the fuck?

[Naim Ali]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

That's. What.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's just terrorism. What the fuck is that?

[Naim Ali]

Is that how it works? Like, you can hit a firework with a hammer and it blows up?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. What the fuck type of Looney Tunes shit is that?

[Naim Ali]

I feel like this was the coyote.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I think. I think when you're breaking up, you're getting all the powder. Right.

[Mo Mandel]

No, I think that I. So I think the. The fireworks, it's a. Like, made of, like, there's wax, right? So I think you can gunk them together to make one big.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Mo Mandel]

Firework.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not what it says. It says smash them.

[Mo Mandel]

Smash them with a hammer and make a bomb.

[Naim Ali]

But that's how someone would mush them together. By hitting them with a hammer. That seems really.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't know about my story. Che. Tell us how you did it.

[Che Durena]

This is some American ass, dude.

[Mo Mandel]

No, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you can get fireworks everywhere. In Canada.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

At their bodegas.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, this sound like some Puerto Rican shit. It does. Yeah, it does.

[Big J Okerson]

It does sound like some Puerto Rican shit. I'm trying. I'm playing. Listen as I'm reading. It's a random generator. So you guys know, for that Alex puts it through. So it could be somebody back to back for sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

But that does. I always want to play the odds and say it's not happening.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't think that's how I feel like it's Louis.

[Naim Ali]

But. But yard threw me off, you know?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Neighbors yard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

I feel like yard. I feel like public park, you know, 711 parking lot. You know, that kind of stomping ground.

[Big J Okerson]

No, but someone else. It sits into someone's backyard. Maybe they didn't have a yard.

[Naim Ali]

You think they took the bus to a yard? Come on, kids. We're going to see a yard today. You might even see two parents in this house.

[Big J Okerson]

And Louis goes, I'm a bomb. It.

[Mo Mandel]

Look, I will tell you right now as I'm reading this story, this is such a Puerto Rican story that I'm going, I want to do this. Can we figure out I'm using it as instructions for a future project? But this is not me.

[Big J Okerson]

I never got my. Never got my hands on fireworks as a kid. Just like, literally, the bottle rockets and shit.

[Naim Ali]

I think Jay's so fucking lying. I'm sorry. You got immediately when that. How does this work thing? You were like. You were like, Well, I don't know. Again, I think.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know what. To tell you something.

[Naim Ali]

This looks like me trying to audition for a part to do that. I'm like, I am acting right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Despite my rough and tumble demeanor. Yeah, I was a good boy.

[Naim Ali]

Well, this doesn't sound like a tough kid. This sounds like kind of a.

[Big J Okerson]

No. I would have went inside and told my mom. Mom, that the bad kids are doing this.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, Jay's also trying to. He's. He's. Now he's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he could be very defensive and.

[Big J Okerson]

Give somebody else four points. Again, just play the game.

[Naim Ali]

This feels like what you did, like in the. In the mid-80s when you weren't allowed to do school shootings yet. You know what I mean? This is.

[Big J Okerson]

That's true. I was behind the top, you know, you weren't really.

[Naim Ali]

That wasn't a thing. You kind of had it as bombs.

[Big J Okerson]

Marilyn Manson. Marilyn Manson would have come out six years earlier. I'd have done it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I fucking hate this feeling. I don't trust any of you guys. I hate this feeling. I hate how I feel.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone's an enemy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. This is crazy.

[Mo Mandel]

Crazy, Naim.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, that's a good.

[Mo Mandel]

Did you play with fireworks when you were a kid?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wasn't a fireworks kid. I wasn't one of those guys. I was more so.

[Mo Mandel]

What about a hammer?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't play with hammers either. That wasn't my thing, bro. I played. I played with guns. I didn't play with fireworks and hammers. I got right to the real things. Damn.

[Naim Ali]

Well, Naim's got some neck tattoos, so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's got some neck tattoos.

[Naim Ali]

He can make a bad decision or two constantly. I think. Firework bombs. That's a gateway drug to neck tattoos.

[Che Durena]

It's a beginner crime.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Where'd you Grow up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Grow up. North Philly. And then I moved to Mount Airy when I was 12.

[Big J Okerson]

There are backyards.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Backyards in Mount area.

[Mo Mandel]

Those backyards and trees in Mount Airy. Mount Airy Lodge.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

They got hammers out there.

[Big J Okerson]

They got hammers. Yeah. They probably have hardware. Whole hardware stores.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice, nice area.

[Mo Mandel]

Garages.

[Big J Okerson]

Mount Airy in Philadelphia. Affluent black suburb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. Very nice.

[Big J Okerson]

Very nice.

[Che Durena]

What happened?

[Big J Okerson]

Backyard.

[Naim Ali]

I'm sorry, is this. Are you starting a bit?

[Big J Okerson]

So I says to them, where's the punchline? Says it was a affluent. An affluent.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Che Durena]

Damn.

[Naim Ali]

I think it's Jay.

[Mo Mandel]

I think it's J. I am fucking dumbfounded right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nah, this has to be Lewis.

[Che Durena]

It's so Puerto Rican.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's so Puerto Rican. Puerto Ricans love fireworks.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Puerto Rican Lewis.

[Mo Mandel]

I know who it is. I've decided who it is, but I don't want to say first.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, what the fuck?

[Naim Ali]

All right, Jed. All right, Jedi. What is he doing?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's so good at this.

[Big J Okerson]

Good podcast hosting. I have an answer.

[Naim Ali]

You know, some people say. Some people do.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Naim Ali]

And Lewis says his ant.

[Mo Mandel]

I got it.

[Naim Ali]

You boys take it away.

[Big J Okerson]

I got it. I have a full reason rationale why I'm picking it.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, I got it. I mean, I. Well, because I'll say I don't want to. I. I know 100% who it is, and I don't want to trigger everybody else to choose my answer because I want to gain more points. So I will give my rationale, but let me go second to last.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, he on some 4D chess right now. Yo, I don't like this. I don't like this.

[Naim Ali]

All right, Beautiful mind.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's making us look like his ladies. We don't trust anything now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. God damn it. I think it's Louis. Fuck, it's Louis or Naim. Louis.

[Mo Mandel]

As soon as you put it in the thing, that's your final answer. You can't change it.

[Big J Okerson]

We could have told him at the beginning, but you rushed it. I'm going, oh, loose. Second lose.

[Che Durena]

I see the mastermind at work D.

[Big J Okerson]

D. What's your explanation?

[Mo Mandel]

My explanation is the feeling I got when I looked right in his fucking eyes.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Naim felt that too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this guy's too low key.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, he was being very low key. Wasn't saying anything, and then you suggested it was me, and then he went, yeah, it's Lewis. And then he looked at me, and I was like, he's a lying. He's a lying Canadian with his beady little eyes and flapping head. Alex.

[Naim Ali]

Whose.

[Mo Mandel]

Whose story was it, Alex?

[Alex]

That story belonged to Chase.

[Mo Mandel]

What the fuck?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's fucking go. I knew it.

[Mo Mandel]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Che Durena]

Did you put me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, I did. You.

[Mo Mandel]

You.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you honest? Want to know why? Because this is how Canadians explain things. Don't say too much. It's too much in there. There's way too much in there.

[Naim Ali]

As a small child I wandered away.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they say too much. They say way too much.

[Naim Ali]

It was my rum Springer and I.

[Big J Okerson]

What simplistic, brilliant logic. It was exactly the answer.

[Mo Mandel]

I looked him right in the eyes and was like, he's lying. What happened here? What is this story?

[Che Durena]

So it was. It was the Screecheroos. There's one that's like a long tube, and you could take, like, three of them and tape them together and make sure there's one wick out, and you just hit them with a hammer. And so, like. Yeah, exactly. You said it breaks up the insides. So you have, like, one explosive, and you light it and you throw it in someone's backyard and fucking run. That's how we would have fun. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, you say, like, it's an event. It gets done. He's doing like. It's like, yeah. Then you do this, then you do that. Like, you're putting it very outward.

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It's you who did it.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You go, no. All you gotta do is. This is what people do.

[Che Durena]

A very common Canadian pastime. We like to blow up. Yeah. We got, like, large fields and nothing going on. So you just.

[Big J Okerson]

Fireworks are available.

[Che Durena]

Fireworks are very.

[Naim Ali]

Did you start a fire? I don't know.

[Che Durena]

Some other guy's problems.

[Big J Okerson]

He knew he wasn't staying there.

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn. What's the scoreboard look like?

[Mo Mandel]

Nice.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have Big J with zero points.

[Mo Mandel]

Damn it, Jay. Step it up. You're embarrassing the story Warriors.

[Big J Okerson]

You think I'm not pissed? This is a memoir that chronicles the events surrounding the infamous incident in which she shot Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of her lover, Joey Buttafuco.

[Mo Mandel]

Pick it the fuck up, then we're gonna lose this story.

[Alex]

I have Naim with two points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's go.

[Alex]

Mo with three points, Che with four points, and Lewis with six points.

[Naim Ali]

You know what's interesting about this game? When you're ahead, you feel like you figured out some sort of strategy, and then you real. Like, that was just completely locked. I don't even know where I am right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

Game's far from over it's anyone's game.

[Naim Ali]

At least we know Jay at it.

[Mo Mandel]

It's true, Jay.

[Naim Ali]

Zero, huh?

[Mo Mandel]

Zero points isn't good though. It's not looking good for us.

[Big J Okerson]

I want this book so bad.

[Mo Mandel]

All right, Jay. Let's take a quick moment and talk about IP Vanish, which is incredible. It's an important tool that allows you to safely surf the Internet without leaving a trace. We don't care how you spend your time online, sir. Specifically you, sir. I don't want to ask any questions, sir, but I want you to feel comfortable to save the Internet how you want to serve, sir.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me tell you something. I got IP Vanish and I almost bought a just cause I could again untraceable from Europe. It just. Just a silk road of possibilities when you have IP vanish because no one knows what you're doing.

[Mo Mandel]

Now we're saying don't do that stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't do that stuff at all.

[Mo Mandel]

Do not on the dark. Well, we didn't. You shouldn't either. Look, you don't want. We are joking around. But you do not want big tech companies, governments and marketers looking up your stuff knowing how to track you. Every movement you have online, you got big brother watching you that give your middle finger to these companies.

[Big J Okerson]

Get out of the algorithm.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah. Right now all you gotta do is go to IPVanish.com. iPVanish.com that is the website. They have different packages with affordable pricing, but if you use that promo code wars with a Z, they're going to give you an extra 10% off with their all of their offerings. That's over 85% off. This is the time to sign up. With this discount and everything else, you're going to save so much money. So just right now, go to IPVanish.com and start protecting yourself online today with that promo code wars with a Z. All right, where were we?

[Big J Okerson]

Story number four.

[Alex]

Story number four. I got into an argument with my ex at a Halloween party in front of all of our friends because she thought I was flirting with another woman. Then I staged a fake suicide when we got home.

[Naim Ali]

What? What the.

[Big J Okerson]

This. This is a story I would write for a fictitious Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, this gotta be Lewis.

[Mo Mandel]

I mean, I will admit that this sounds exactly like me.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I will admit everything about this. Lewis, you're dramatic. An argument in front of people faking suicide. Faking suicide.

[Mo Mandel]

Why wouldn't fake suicide? I would threaten suicide a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that's what I was going to telling the world. That she thought you were flirting with another woman. She Thought I was, but. What? I was just helping her with her tits. What. What.

[Naim Ali]

What's a fake suicide like? You trying suicide? Like how. At what point you're like, ah, I'm good.

[Che Durena]

You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll tell you. I'll tell you exactly what Lewis did. Probably. He came out with an empty pill bottle that those pills were sitting in a different bottle. And he was like, you happy now? You happy now? The end is. The end is nigh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The end is nigh. Yeah. That's dramatic as hell.

[Big J Okerson]

Although all this said in the fairness of honesty, when we don't have to be. Got into a lot of arguments with girlfriends in front of people. I have a history of this.

[Naim Ali]

It's only now that this girl is finding out that person did not actually commit. Su ruined her entire childhood.

[Big J Okerson]

I couldn't freaking X out with a suicide. She assumed I was slowly dying anyway, so it's always just kind of a hang in there and wait it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I'm kind of confused because both you are kind of emo, so I don't.

[Mo Mandel]

Know which one can I say. Let me say this. I've been on the road with Naim a few times, and me and Naim have some similarities. And one of those similarities are being crazy with crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm crazy.

[Mo Mandel]

And out of everybody, because I know it's not me and I can't see it being anybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not gay, bruh.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not gay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't do like that.

[Mo Mandel]

I think suicide, I think it's not. I mean, I feel like it's a.

[Big J Okerson]

Pretty white thing to do. Yeah, I know it's not me. And Lewis has aspired to whiteness since a very young age.

[Mo Mandel]

You guys are so lucky. You don't even know what you have. Just take it for granted every day.

[Big J Okerson]

Flirting with another woman's interesting. Instead of, maybe it could be Big J.

[Mo Mandel]

Maybe because this is just. I would feel like I would know this story because I know a lot about Big J, but maybe it's just an unremarkable story in Big J's life.

[Big J Okerson]

I faked a suicide one night.

[Naim Ali]

That seems remarkable.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, it says I staged a fake suicide. Like, yeah, like you had like a. Like you had a harness that was holding you up while you were hanging. Staging requires something.

[Naim Ali]

It was like a blood bag.

[Big J Okerson]

This is why I think it was a blood bag.

[Naim Ali]

This is why I think it was Jake, because this sounds like a theater kid thing to do. And I feel like Canada is a country of theater Kids.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, look at.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's quiet again.

[Big J Okerson]

Even the rappers were on you guys.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, exactly.

[Che Durena]

Yeah, he's gonna this one up. If you pick me, Let me tell.

[Naim Ali]

You, I feel like they. They got an argument at a Canadian origami festival and they rode the moose home and he pretended he hung himself from a maple tree.

[Mo Mandel]

I think it's Naim or Big J. It's some Philly trash. It's a dramatic young person. It could be Big J looking me in the face.

[Big J Okerson]

What? What?

[Mo Mandel]

Was this you, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's you.

[Mo Mandel]

He did just write Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at me in the face, you son of a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's you.

[Mo Mandel]

It's not me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep.

[Naim Ali]

I think it's Lewis. And if it had been around, he would have found a way to live stream. He would have been like, how do I brand this suicide attempt?

[Mo Mandel]

I think you guys are giving Big J a lot of points. Or Naim a lot of points. You guys are all picking me. I'm deleting it. Yes. They're all up left and right. This is not. It's. But it's not. I think it's Naim. Na.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just bummed out. I'm not going to be the only one getting a sick damn.

[Mo Mandel]

Really? I think it's Naim.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not gay, bro. I told you.

[Naim Ali]

What is your definition of gay? This guy's so heartbroken over a girlfriend fight, he's like, ugh.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, the suicide was. The fake suicide was. He asked his friend, a gay friend, to come over and fuck his ass. This guy has aids.

[Naim Ali]

I tried to stage a suicide by choking myself in my friend's cock.

[Mo Mandel]

Alex.

[Alex]

Lewis is correct. That was Naim.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Guess what?

[Mo Mandel]

I am gay. Ha.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How about that?

[Naim Ali]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Naim was gay the whole time.

[Mo Mandel]

The whole time.

[Naim Ali]

That is the sweetest coming out story ever.

[Big J Okerson]

I am eating in this game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I told you. Oh, I like being on this side of it. That's fun.

[Naim Ali]

I like tricking you guys sucked, dude. That sucked.

[Mo Mandel]

So what happened in this story, Naim?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So we got in an argument in front of all my friends and this was one of a thousand arguments that I had lost. And I went in the house and I locked the bedroom door and I grabbed my pistol and shot went off in the air. And then I fell on the ground and did a fake suicide. And she was banging on the door crying.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, but that's not really a tight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You do it. That's how you fake kill yourself.

[Mo Mandel]

Happy Halloween.

[Big J Okerson]

That's so batshit that I have a thousand questions. And at the same Time. I'm like, you don't have to say anymore, dude. That's.

[Naim Ali]

But it's also interesting, cuz if you would have included the gunshot thing, I think we all would have guessed if you had a handgun at your disposal.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis didn't get his hands on that kind of equipment.

[Naim Ali]

That's a crazy story. That suddenly is even crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

So what happened then? After a while, you just open the door, you go, nah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she started calling 91 1. And I was like, hold up. All right, wait, wait, wait a second. Wait a second.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't call 91 1. Call someone to fix the drywall.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, bro, were you in an apartment or a house?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, a house. Oh, good.

[Naim Ali]

Thank God.

[Big J Okerson]

So only grandma was upstairs.

[Naim Ali]

Hey, you could wear your gypsy clothes now. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Grandma yelled down after the gunshot. She goes, just do what he says, bitch.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Me and that lady ended up getting married and then divorced 18 months later.

[Che Durena]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She married me after that. She married me.

[Naim Ali]

That didn't work out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't know why.

[Big J Okerson]

That was the night you realized she cared.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she cared.

[Mo Mandel]

She cried.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was crying so much.

[Big J Okerson]

She was arguing with you so much. And winning. As soon as you kill yourself, she wishes that. You guys didn't even fight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bro, she sucked my dick that night.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, come on, bro. That night, I'm so happy you're alive, wife.

[Naim Ali]

So I call.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I call that a wife. That's what you call a wife.

[Naim Ali]

So did you learn, like, a superpower? Like, like, how many other times after that did you pretend to kill yourself?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, bro, you could do it four times. You.

[Big J Okerson]

Four times?

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, four times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They stop believing, like, at five. But you could do it, like, four times.

[Big J Okerson]

Go let someone else discover you. I'm out.

[Mo Mandel]

By the third time. She's like, you better not be around this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God. You better be dead if you're not dead. I swear to God. This is so out. I'm not sucking your dick this time.

[Naim Ali]

He's trying.

[Big J Okerson]

Laying on a bed like this, you go, oh, man.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, my God. All right, that was round four. Alex, where we at with points?

[Big J Okerson]

N cleaned up at the halfway point.

[Alex]

At the halfway point, I have big J with 0 point.

[Big J Okerson]

What the is happening?

[Alex]

I have Mo with 3 points, Che with 4 points, Naim with 5 points, and Lewis with 8 points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn it. I hate that you know me so well, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

The memoir explores themes of love, betrayal, and the consequences of impulsive actions, offering a personal perspective on a highly publicized scandal.

[Mo Mandel]

Wow. Let's do some plugs real quick at this halfway Point movie. Brand new special out on YouTube right now trying to make it. Everyone should go download that right now. Give it a click, share it with a friend, give it a comment. All that stuff for the algorithm. Anything else to plug?

[Naim Ali]

No, man. Trying to make it. 800 pound gorillas YouTube channel. Click on that shit and there it is.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

You're hilarious. Very funny.

[Naim Ali]

Thank you.

[Mo Mandel]

Crushing it.

[Big J Okerson]

Mr. Durana.

[Che Durena]

Check out my podcast, Dark Holes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Che Durena]

Yeah. For all tour dates go to shaderana.com C H E D U R E.

[Big J Okerson]

N hey, is that the new Black Tail?

[Che Durena]

Black Tail.

[Big J Okerson]

Black Tail is the new Black Tail magazine. Dark Holes.

[Che Durena]

Oh, I don't know what blacktail is. Dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Canadians.

[Che Durena]

I'm sorry, man.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, it was America's finest black pornography magazine.

[Che Durena]

Oh, was it? Oh man, I'm sorry I missed out on that.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry too.

[Che Durena]

We just have. We just have blacks now. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Naim, check out my podcast do Ragging the Deer Tag. Hottest out in the streets right now. My other podcast, Ayo actually podcast all about facts. No bullshit. And I host a show here first Wednesday every month. Drip comedy show. Supposedly Jay and Lewis are going to be on the next one.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, we're both. It's on a Wednesday.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's on Wednesday.

[Mo Mandel]

It's before this. We will both be there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Mo Mandel]

100%.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J. BigJayComedy.com for all my dates everybody. I'm all over the place. So look for a city near you. BigJComedy.com Some fun ones. I got a Philly coming home for Thanksgiving.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, we're doing live story wars.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, the Wednesday night. It's gonna be a stand up show. I'm headlining early show and then Lewis is coming down. We're doing a live story awards from Helium in Philadelphia.

[Mo Mandel]

Thanksgiving eve in Philly. We're gonna have special guests night.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm there Friday and Saturday. Also headlining Helium. I'm doing doing the Wilbur theater in Boston. I got. We got some fun stuff coming up. Legion of Skanks New Year's Eve to announce soon. So look for a city near you. And listen, course of the bonfire five days a week. Faction talk. SiriusXM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. And then two claps is fine. I don't give a shit. And lead you to skanks everybody. Right here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Digital network.

[Mo Mandel]

Look at that dessert. Holy shit. God damn it. You Mexican piece of shit. Why would you put that in front of me? Go to my website. Lewisofskangs.com come see me on the road. I think when this comes out, the next thing you see me is Toronto in the middle of the month. That's gonna be a ton of fun. I got Austin coming up before Christmas and we're doing a live regs at the Gramercy Theater. We're doing the the Yankee Swap live regs with a very special guest, Santa Claus at the Gramercy Theater here in New York City. So come out to that. That's gonna be a ton of fun. And yeah, subscribe at gas digital. Gas digital.com use the promo code war and you get. You save a buck 50amonth to get the uncensored version of this show. You get a pre release and the on demand library for all of the amazing shows on the network. Thousands of hours of uncensored content that are not available anywhere else. The only way to get it is to subscribe@gas digital.com and it really is the best way to support live this type of comedy, guys. So go do that right now and check out the Lewis and Zach show, Legion of Skanks, and the regular. That's it. Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Now, I know everybody on this panel's probably thinking that I'm completely out of this game. I'm fucked. Let me tell you something. We have a plan for that over here for the second half of the show, and that is double points.

[Naim Ali]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Double points.

[Mo Mandel]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What, what, what? How do you get double points?

[Che Durena]

This is some. That they do when they're losing. That's what the they do when they're losing.

[Big J Okerson]

They're like, oh, new rule. We're getting double points now. Do you think it only happens every once in a while when you get the reaction like that when you say double points?

[Naim Ali]

I mean, I don't even understand how that works. Like, I understand, I understand what points are, but what are double points?

[Big J Okerson]

Double points. I'm sorry, that is not fair. I'll explain.

[Naim Ali]

Sense. That makes sense.

[Big J Okerson]

In the beginning it was if you fool every person, you fool.

[Naim Ali]

No, I get what? Double points.

[Big J Okerson]

And then in this now, instead of that one point, you'd get double points.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, it's just that point. So it's just that one point is double.

[Big J Okerson]

No, all of them. If you guessed the person correctly, you formerly got two points. Now give it a wing.

[Naim Ali]

Double points.

[Big J Okerson]

There it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There it is.

[Naim Ali]

It felt good. It felt real good.

[Big J Okerson]

One thing I've learned about the world doing this show, people love double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, well, what if I write the name down before I hear the story? Can I get triple Points.

[Che Durena]

Whoa, whoa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Guess what?

[Big J Okerson]

If everybody got one chance for one blind pick.

[Naim Ali]

I got. I think you just have to put in all. All your points.

[Mo Mandel]

Can I say this? We do this a lot. We start coming up with crazy rules out of nowhere and then we realize we don't like the rules afterwards and we end up having a tie for no reason. Like now we got to come up with a tiebreaker.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's add a guest. Let's get a new guest up here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who's around? Who's around?

[Mo Mandel]

God damn it it Guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Candy.

[Mo Mandel]

Have some candy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what? I liked Whoppers more when I was younger.

[Mo Mandel]

Sorry, sir. It wasn't for you. It was for the hot chick behind you. You scumbag. This guy, like he's had a game. He. When he grabbed it. Hot chick trying to get some.

[Big J Okerson]

Over here. You piece of snagged. Life's not always great.

[Che Durena]

That's what it feels like to be.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why I don't let you eat candy.

[Mo Mandel]

Story number five.

[Alex]

Story number five. We were so broke that I didn't have a costume for a Halloween party. So I wore my karate uniform. Still got a number.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, hell.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that sounds suave off. Damn, that sounds suave and broke. Broke's not helping any of us.

[Naim Ali]

It's also weird that you would be young enough to be trick or treating in a karate uniform, but then old enough to get a number.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, right.

[Naim Ali]

This is some. Some mack daddy elementary school student.

[Mo Mandel]

Well, is. It's not me we weren't getting so you. You wear costume. I. I see workout people still wear costumes in adulthood.

[Big J Okerson]

You should.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, but if it's your. No one's ever so bro.

[Che Durena]

Yeah, it's a family, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

We were so bro.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm a imagining a high school age.

[Big J Okerson]

Here who's not going to be karate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Lewis for sure. Look at him. Why is he explaining so much? Okay, listen, you can wear costumes if you're 16.

[Naim Ali]

In fact, a lot of people think it's pretty cool to do it. You know, some people have a black belt in being cool.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, And I like what you guys are doing. I like what you guys are doing. But I'm thinking Naeem jumped all over Lewis so quick.

[Naim Ali]

I mean, based on Naeem's last story, I don't know who the fuck he is at all. He's a theater kid who's got a flair for faking death with a pistol. I mean, who is this guy?

[Che Durena]

It was the coolest suicide.

[Naim Ali]

It was fucking cool, but it Was insane.

[Big J Okerson]

We all thought it was gonna be something much less violent, actually shooting a live bullet into your own home.

[Naim Ali]

I'm not bullet hole, by the way. I'm not convinced that he meant it not to be a suicide. I think he was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fuck you.

[Naim Ali]

I faked it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I did like this. At first. I did like this. I said, ah, I can't do that. And then I shot in the air.

[Big J Okerson]

Because you lost an argument.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. I mean, this was argument 1000 that I lost.

[Mo Mandel]

Naim hates losing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hate losing.

[Big J Okerson]

What was it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hate it.

[Big J Okerson]

Kobe versus Jordan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I actually was flirting with that girl and I just wasn't honest with myself. I wasn't honest with myself back then. I was a liar to my own self.

[Mo Mandel]

Did you grow up, like, what?

[Big J Okerson]

I was just talking to her about her panties hanging out of the bed if I don't tell her. What? Who is.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, Mo. Did you grow up poor?

[Naim Ali]

No, I don't think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he doesn't look like he.

[Naim Ali]

Sorry, I didn't think. I didn't mean to sound so confident.

[Big J Okerson]

But also sort of with cult people.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, no, I grew up on a dirt road, but it was fine. Fine. Packed sand.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, soil.

[Mo Mandel]

Chad, did you grow up poor?

[Che Durena]

I know. Didn't grow up poor. The key thing is here. Who's gay enough to do karate? That's what we need to find out. Who's a Karate Kid?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who did karate?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, Louis loves karate. Karate. Well, you don't do karate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Didn't Lewis fight a guy who was a karate guy? So this has been, like, a big thing of your.

[Mo Mandel]

And.

[Naim Ali]

And see, you guys are too young. We only had karate. We didn't have mma. That wasn't a thing.

[Che Durena]

Lewis, because of the martial arts part of it. He likes mma, he likes martial arts.

[Big J Okerson]

He likes telling people he's done.

[Naim Ali]

And also, I feel like Lewis would be still proud of the fact that he got a number. You know, he would wanna. He'd want us to know.

[Big J Okerson]

Playing pop. Awesome. And being all sullen.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, because I feel like, you know, that I actually do martial arts. I don't just say it. I mean, like, you're my friend, you know, I actually try. I put a lot of time into.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, but you said this happened in high school. Remember when you said this?

[Mo Mandel]

When I did karate, I had the karate in elementary school for, like, you know, three lessons, so I wouldn't have had the uniform when I was selling, but I don't care. Vote for me, you losers. I don't give a.

[Che Durena]

He's getting defensive no can defend.

[Mo Mandel]

No can defend.

[Big J Okerson]

If you write if do right, no can defend.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm showing my karate ass right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn it.

[Naim Ali]

I feel like Jay also did karate. I've listened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

A little husky kid doing karate. I nailed it. I didn't say you were.

[Naim Ali]

I didn't say you were great.

[Big J Okerson]

I took that. I took it back. I won the All Valley twice before. Daniel the Russo.

[Che Durena]

Now I almost feel like Lewis knows, but he's covering for Jay so we don't pick him. So he can get points on the board or something.

[Big J Okerson]

So I can get points?

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Why would he do that for?

[Mo Mandel]

I don't want J to get points. I like, I like getting. I like Jay coming in with zero points at the end.

[Big J Okerson]

That's. Yeah, we're not rooting for each other.

[Che Durena]

Okay.

[Mo Mandel]

I could keep this in the story wars library, but I'm well ahead of everybody at this point.

[Naim Ali]

What belt did you get to after three weeks lessons?

[Mo Mandel]

I was always a white belt.

[Naim Ali]

White belt.

[Mo Mandel]

Always a white belt.

[Naim Ali]

Do you regret. Is there a sense of shame? Not getting further.

[Mo Mandel]

No, no. I just. My mom was a heroin addict and did not have the energy to drive me to my lessons.

[Naim Ali]

That, that question backfired on me.

[Big J Okerson]

Whatever, dude. Naim said he wasn't gay. Ups, down, left is who knows nothing makes sense.

[Naim Ali]

People are just making up.

[Mo Mandel]

Up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

I mean, I'm having a tough time here. I mean, I, I, I don't want to be. I know.

[Big J Okerson]

Take karate when you were young.

[Naim Ali]

I took taekwondo. Green belt, black stripe. You guys heard about it.

[Big J Okerson]

You saw the one man show.

[Naim Ali]

I actually won a trophy like this big in a tournament against a little red haired girl.

[Che Durena]

Right?

[Naim Ali]

Cuz they only went by belt level, so. I wish she was tiny. I think I accidentally punched her in the face. Face. But that trophy don't. That trophy means it was worth it.

[Big J Okerson]

That's up to an organization. You don't think you have to put.

[Naim Ali]

Dude, I'm not going to disrespect Korea. I'm going to punch this little girl in the face.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, maybe you wouldn't have said karate then. I feel like you were. I feel like you're pretty proud of your taekwondo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm putting a vote in it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay, did you do karate?

[Che Durena]

No, I didn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Trey, he could be lying.

[Mo Mandel]

Did you do karate?

[Che Durena]

I didn't do karate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think Canadians do karate.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Naim's not gay.

[Che Durena]

Get away with this.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't think it was Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's Lewis.

[Mo Mandel]

I think it's Jay. Here we go.

[Che Durena]

Oh, again.

[Naim Ali]

I feel like. I guess Lewis on every single one.

[Big J Okerson]

It's gotta hit eventually.

[Mo Mandel]

Here it is.

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody's locked in.

[Mo Mandel]

I think Che's learning how to act. Much better. He's getting better.

[Naim Ali]

Who did Naim go with? Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, with you. Oh, Mr. Tyquan. Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's what you guys are gonna learn.

[Alex]

That was big J.

[Naim Ali]

Let's go, let's go.

[Mo Mandel]

God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy's gonna. That was so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God.

[Big J Okerson]

He's like, dude, I can't even take. I'm gonna.

[Mo Mandel]

Bruh.

[Naim Ali]

Why are every Lewis and Jay story. They could easily be the other one's story. Like, it's okay, right?

[Big J Okerson]

We're friends.

[Naim Ali]

You guys are really brothers?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I went. I got invited to a Halloween party. I think it's my first Halloween party I was invited to. I was pretty stoked on it, but I didn't have a costume, so I wore. I also took karate at the Jewish community center for three lessons, but I did keep the gi. And so I was just a little fat kid in a karate uniform. And that night I was like, I got a chance to really chat up a girl from school. It wasn't just about the looks. That night. Chatted her up. She was in. And then for a sign that we were now officially a thing, I gave.

[Mo Mandel]

Well, you showed her your kata.

[Big J Okerson]

I did show her my full kata.

[Naim Ali]

Now, if I do the math right, this is right after Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Farley came out. So maybe she thought you were him.

[Big J Okerson]

It came out before, and you'd see that I'm pretty tangled up in a sticky lawsuit with that still.

[Naim Ali]

Underrated film.

[Big J Okerson]

They took my idea. No. But I gave the girl the goofy sunglasses I brought also to this party as a sign that we're officially a thing now. And then over the weekend. That was a problem. It was the weekend. Weekend. Too much time for her friends to be, like, the fat kid. And she turned hard. And then when I went to go sit with her. Because that's what you do with your official girlfriend. Now that we've talked. That one night, I went over to the table where her and all our friends were, and they were giggling at me. And I was gonna sit down, and she was like. She's like, don't sit here. And I. I said some version of like. But I thought we're, like, together. And she was like, no. And then I started to walk away, and then I went, you know what? I go. Time to get my fucking pride back. Right? Now, here's what I'm about to go do. I went back over there and I said, hey, do me a favor, then give me back my sunglasses. And she goes, I microwaved them faggots.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God. Jesus Christ.

[Big J Okerson]

She wasn't worried about the wolf mafia. Oh, she called me a faggot in front of all the other girls.

[Naim Ali]

I'm confused. And this is why Naim is gay.

[Mo Mandel]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a Philly thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Naim Ali]

Culture.

[Mo Mandel]

If it makes you feel any better, she was right.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Right.

[Mo Mandel]

She had a point. You were a.

[Big J Okerson]

She called me a. And no one was like, you can't say that. Melissa. Patrizio.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dam.

[Mo Mandel]

Alex, points.

[Big J Okerson]

Somebody's on the board.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

What?

[Alex]

I have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God damn.

[Mo Mandel]

Damn.

[Alex]

Che with 4 points, Naim with 5 points, Big J with 6 points, Mo with 7 points, and Lewis with 8 points.

[Big J Okerson]

All made possible by a little tweak in the game called double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's some right? What the is that?

[Che Durena]

This is the Jews Jewing. That's what the it is, dude.

[Naim Ali]

That's right, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Good.

[Che Durena]

Are we behind double the double voice?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, what the.

[Big J Okerson]

That is what Canadians think Jews are. That's all the propaganda videos they get. Curb your enthusiasm and Seinfeld. That's all. They're Jewish. God damn, Alex.

[Mo Mandel]

Story number six.

[Alex]

Story number six. My friends and I got into three fights one Halloween.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like a Christmas story.

[Alex]

We collectively lost all of them. I started all of them, yet ended up the least hurt. My friends were pissed at me because they got all up.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know why. I feel like this could be anybody here. Mo, you're a lunatic house thief. So, I mean, like, I didn't saw that coming.

[Naim Ali]

No one here suggests winning fights.

[Che Durena]

This is.

[Naim Ali]

There's a lot of starting fight energy, but not winning.

[Che Durena]

The sneakiness of Naim. That's what's here. The whole, like, oh, I pretend to kill myself, start fights and be like, ah, sorry, boys.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, yeah. But we got two guys with collectively six karate classes, so.

[Big J Okerson]

And one gi.

[Naim Ali]

I could see three fights getting out.

[Big J Okerson]

Of that one gi zero sunglasses.

[Mo Mandel]

We also have collectively 20 painted fingernails. Yeah, yeah, it's true. We are like. We are like bad guys in, like, a 80s ninja movie.

[Big J Okerson]

I would start the fights. I'd be like, put your hands on me and see what happened. And then Lewis comes in with his dark nails and macabre them to death. Three fights on Halloween collectively lost all of them. This story, we can always lie about all these answers, but moving.

[Naim Ali]

I didn't have that many Friends.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I want to ask almost. Are you. Were you a problem drinker when you were younger? Did you get drunk when you were a kid and fuck up?

[Naim Ali]

I mean, yeah, but I don't. Again, I don't think that narrows it down. You just described probably half the fucking audience.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, a little. A little bit.

[Mo Mandel]

Listen to me, guys. Do you guys not know Naim?

[Naim Ali]

I think he would have shot one of them. That's what it's.

[Mo Mandel]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

If he started losing one of these fights, he would have shot in the air and laid down. I'm already dead. They're like.

[Naim Ali]

They're like, I'm gonna you up. No, you're not.

[Big J Okerson]

I am bad. But everybody goes. He goes, oh, you think you're gonna fuck me up? Chase me into this room? And he's gonna slam the door and fucking shoot me in.

[Naim Ali]

And I guess we can't beat him up. He already killed himself.

[Big J Okerson]

That guy fucking killed himself. He was so afraid of us.

[Mo Mandel]

Dougie. Naim is a problem, okay? This story is very much.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He started a lot of fights.

[Mo Mandel]

Naim starts fights. His pro. His friends get mad at him for starting fights that they can't really be hang with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very true.

[Mo Mandel]

This seems like Naim all the way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Almost got Shane killed in Toronto. You. Everybody would have been mad at me.

[Che Durena]

Also you. You enjoyed that story too much. When it got read, when it's getting read out, you were like, yeah, I did that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I just like stories like this.

[Mo Mandel]

That's what I'm saying.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't argue. It's a good story. Jay, did you. When did you come here from Canada?

[Che Durena]

Two years ago. I came to New York.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. Two years ago. So did you hang out with, like. You could drink pretty young, for one.

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You could drink young in Canada. God damn it.

[Mo Mandel]

Does it say they're drunk?

[Big J Okerson]

No, but I'm picturing this. The. Everyone's drinking too much. Why would you like starting fights?

[Mo Mandel]

Because n start fights.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I actually start more fights when I'm sober.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm imagining this.

[Big J Okerson]

You're such a sweet guy.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm imagining N. N is sober. He's dressed as Batman. He's just fighting people for no reason dressed as Batman.

[Big J Okerson]

Yo, we taking back the night, son.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm telling you. Yeah. I mean, I'm gonna put my vote in pretty early here, Naim. This is just. There's nobody else that this could be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. If you're. You're up. If you pick me up.

[Big J Okerson]

I also don't see Naim getting, like, rolled in a bunch of fights?

[Mo Mandel]

No, but if he's with a weak.

[Naim Ali]

Bunch of friends, what have you learned about him so far? No offense to him. That makes you think he's tough. You know, he lost an argument and fake shot himself. That's kind of a gangster move. And I say that with natural white fear.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm going to hail Mary in this one.

[Mo Mandel]

I'm going hail movie. Thanks, folks. Naim is tough, and Naim, it's not that he would lose fights, but I think like, Naim would get into like a three on seven fight. His friends are like, why would you get us into a 3 on 7 fight?

[Big J Okerson]

This is Mo. This is Mo. Walk around the commune going, hey, you hippie dip queen, why don't you let me your wife? I'm Jesus. And then. And then they beat up all you and your swami friends and then you. Yeah, this is Mo.

[Naim Ali]

Don't disrespect our cult like that, bro. Seven say all seven HBAs on you.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't buy it. I say Naim. Alex, our answers are in.

[Alex]

That was Mo.

[Big J Okerson]

Ah, yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah.

[Naim Ali]

You got. Damn, you're all over my. You know it.

[Mo Mandel]

I got you, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I was so far away from you. And then just last second I go, I came back to that first question I asked you. Were you young and up?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what did it for you? The way you answered that, I was like, okay, is in them. Yes. And here's the thing. I'm not losing three fights in one night. You got your mind. I'm win. I'm going win at least one of those.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys crazy or you got to turn the pistol on one of them. Three different groups of people can't have the story that Naim lost every fight.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That though.

[Naim Ali]

Well, excuse me for having the tenacity to keep trying. I.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't be afraid to go, guys. I swear to God, the next one, this one, we.

[Naim Ali]

These girls aren't gonna know what hit them this time.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll do other Jewish kids. Well, the story, please.

[Naim Ali]

So I had just gotten, you know, dumped by a. A fundamentalist Christian for being a Jew.

[Big J Okerson]

And wow. That was the reason I fell in.

[Naim Ali]

Love with her, which was a weird thing because she had been raised Jewish and then became a fundamentalist Christian and then dumped me for saying that if we got married, we go to hell. And I'm like, it's college. I'm just trying to. Really, I'm not.

[Big J Okerson]

That's pretty.

[Naim Ali]

Trying to go to heaven or get married. Married. So I. But I Was broken up at the time and we were in Isla Vista, Santa Barbara, and I somehow. I just, somehow just kept getting yappy with people. And yet my friends would have my back, but they were even as big of as I was. And so one of them had a broken nose, one on a broken tooth, and I had like a slight bumped lip and they were like, dude, learn to fight or shut the up.

[Big J Okerson]

I bet you won't punch my friend Noah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn.

[Naim Ali]

And believe it or not, that didn't win her back.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, you were doing all for her honor points. Alex, the points board, please.

[Naim Ali]

I think I'm in the lead now.

[Alex]

Oh, I have che with four points, Lewis with eight points, Naim with nine points, Big J with 10 points, and Mo with 11 points.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude, it's really anybody's game.

[Mo Mandel]

Anybody's game?

[Naim Ali]

How about the jerk off to that softcore porn book?

[Big J Okerson]

This is not softcore porn. It's a story of betrayal I'm already hard love and the consequences of impulsive actions. She was a kid and she's also done aggressive anal pornography. And all while her weird cop husband stares at her and makes her do it almost against her will. It's scales of justice.

[Naim Ali]

But it's hard not. It's hard to read the word buttafuoco and not get a little horny.

[Big J Okerson]

It makes me think auto body repair for sure. Hey, guys, real quick, let's talk about one of our awesome sponsors over here, Story wars. And of course, that is my bookie, everybody. Football season is in full effect.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't. I hate sports. But with my bookie, it makes me love watching sports with you guys. I was over at your house just this past Sunday watching the big game. Man, oh, man, was I on the edge of my seat with all the money that I put on the Eagles.

[Big J Okerson]

When you bet on that team and against the other ones.

[Mo Mandel]

The Eagles. The Eagles against the. The other animal Bengals. That was a bangle. I think it's an animal.

[Big J Okerson]

Bengal tiger. Good job, dude.

[Mo Mandel]

Aren't they always animals? Except for the Jets.

[Big J Okerson]

Not always animals. Giants.

[Mo Mandel]

Giant killers. Oh, look, truthfully speaking, my bookie does make it a lot more fun to watch all the sports that you watch. I love fights in mma. Put a little bit of money on the line, you're gonna love it that much more. Exactly. Right now all you gotta do is go to my bookie and use the promo code wars with a Z. You can claim a bonus of up to $1,000 on your first deposit.

[Big J Okerson]

That's wars to start the football season off playing with house money, everybody. Again, a bonus of up to $1,000 in your first deposit. And my bookie will keep you coming back for more with tons of exclusive lines, free bets, and access. Access to VIP contests. Don't ever miss a single play. Bet anything, anywhere, anytime, only with my bookie. All right, let's get back into it.

[Mo Mandel]

Alex. Story number seven.

[Alex]

Story number seven. I trick or treated until I was 18 years old.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, yo.

[Big J Okerson]

I've never been more sure of a Lewis thing. I don't want to guess fast and early. We discuss it. I want to break it.

[Mo Mandel]

I trick or treated until I was maybe 22 years old. So I'm not going to sit here and be judged. I trick or treat with my son to this day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis loves free, tiny candy.

[Mo Mandel]

I love free candy, dude. I can't handle it. I hate it. Being in front of me up until the. Everyone loves free candy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell, yeah.

[Naim Ali]

I could just see at Lewis's house, eat these freaks. You're 18 years old, and your grandmother's like, give me back my clothes.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, hang on a second. I always have to acknowledge these in the world, dude moment. Lewis gunned a wild hail over there, and one of them was zipping straight past this guy's head, and he Jedi'd it, dude.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

Always give respects, dude. That was a dude. Off to you by story wars.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, hell yeah. Very nice.

[Mo Mandel]

That's another dude moment brought to you by story.

[Big J Okerson]

By story Wars. I'm so sad when I have dude moments and no one's there for it. You call a snowball shot, nail it on the dot, and you're like, yeah, yeah. No one's here to go. That's all you need is one passerby to God.

[Che Durena]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Saw a guy drop a cigarette from a balcony once, landed in a can he was aiming for. And I looked. I was on the phone, I looked up at him, and I went. He went, father for life. Nashville. Right outside my hotel.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, you know, at times like that, you waste all your life luck. Your life luck's gone. You drop a cigarette, yes, life luck is gone.

[Big J Okerson]

That'd be funny. So he did that, and then when I was cheering him, he fell off perfectly in the bucket, but there's no one there to share it. I go, it dies with me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's it.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo. Trick or treat until 18 is nuts.

[Big J Okerson]

He told us it's him. And I've done this before. Lewis has done this to me before. At some point, he goes, this is me. And then we go Jerk off. And then we all argue over here. And then it is him. I don't know if I want to throw again.

[Naim Ali]

It seems like a wholesome thing. And so I'm going, Che. You know, I feel like that's Canadian. I feel like for sure in Canada. Do you guys had Halloween up there?

[Che Durena]

Yeah, we got fucking Halloween.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, you fucking know what they have up there?

[Che Durena]

This guy's from a fucking commune, okay. He's doing weird freak cult shit.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, we had Halloween every day, bro. And they were real ghosts, bitch.

[Big J Okerson]

You had to pray to them constantly in front of fire. I'm going to tell you a moment to back you up here on this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, as you said, what Lewis kind of brought up was interesting. Was he did. I believe he did. For sure. That's not a lie. He trick or treated till 22. Didn't think it was weird. Had friends who would agree it wasn't weird.

[Naim Ali]

I mean, they were children, but still they were friends.

[Big J Okerson]

And he's excited to go back with his son to do it. Now that's very honest, and that's very true. I say again, 18 years old is when you can start drinking in Canada legally. So trick or treating. 18 is a hard cut off because you're going, I trick or treated directly until I was an adult. Because that's like a real change in life. There's there legal drinking. It.

[Che Durena]

No legal drinking age is 19 in Canada.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, but he sounded so smart when he broke that down.

[Big J Okerson]

I think that's a lie.

[Naim Ali]

I also think That's a lie. 19 is. Nothing starts at 19. That's stupid. Are you talking. Are you on the metric system? It's definitely 19. God.

[Che Durena]

It's not dude, it's. This fucker's trying to get off the trail.

[Mo Mandel]

Magic.

[Naim Ali]

They're doing.

[Che Durena]

Doing double points. Jewel, by the way, what the. This is right there.

[Naim Ali]

How many. How many Jew Jews does he got? That's three. You know, how many are we gonna. Is he gonna. We gonna give him five?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he's right. It's not Jay, because he's.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are lunatics. You're giving a point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He swore to God. Nobody does that.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course they do. He fl. That's a Canadian guts different. He's flared up. It's Wayne Gretzky. It's not a big deal. I'm telling you, he's wrong. You're wrong, dude. He flared up at me.

[Naim Ali]

He flared up. He got real time out.

[Big J Okerson]

That great explanation. No, I trick or treated, right? Until I was able to drink legally and it would have been gay.

[Naim Ali]

Now.

[Che Durena]

I think it was Lewis because Lewis has been sitting there quiet the whole time while we're all in fighting. God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

Piece of shit. Suck.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the.

[Mo Mandel]

What the.

[Big J Okerson]

He did it again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You told us what he was gonna do.

[Naim Ali]

He did it again.

[Big J Okerson]

I said he was doing it again. And he even got me.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, Jay, you said you knew he did that.

[Che Durena]

You didn't get it.

[Mo Mandel]

I don't know why.

[Naim Ali]

How did you. Not you.

[Mo Mandel]

I didn't say anything. I just sat here, and he switched. I was like, okay, this trick, I.

[Big J Okerson]

Gave such an eloquent reason why. It was definitely Jay.

[Naim Ali]

Can we get an answer on if it's 18 or 19?

[Big J Okerson]

It's 19. That's.

[Che Durena]

It's 18 in.

[Naim Ali]

In Alberta. Oh, this country, dude.

[Mo Mandel]

This is Alex, the official. The official answer. Just to make it official for the audio listeners at home.

[Alex]

That was Lewis Jacob.

[Mo Mandel]

Goddamn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You gotta have more integrity, bro. You gotta have more integrity. You could have convinced us. You had us. We were like, you know, like, right.

[Mo Mandel]

Everyone was gonna vote for me.

[Big J Okerson]

I've done. I've argued people away from Louis almost every episode successfully. And then it's Louis.

[Mo Mandel]

Jay. Here's the thing. Jay takes the lead very often, and people will follow him to whatever retarded point he's making. It was. I. I've watched it happen so many times. But, yes. No. I did trick or treat until my senior year of high school. Me and my girlfriend. She was a junior. I was a senior, dude. And I remember she was like, you.

[Big J Okerson]

Want to do what? He's like, no, I was saying, like. Like a. Watch the movie.

[Mo Mandel]

I was a full. Like, it was even, like, a cool costume. I was like a full. Half black, half white harlequin clown with, like, what?

[Big J Okerson]

That's too much.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You thought the face paint was so.

[Mo Mandel]

I thought it was so cool, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

And we went trick or treated treating. And we went to, like, just, like, literally. There was so many people. So many people were like, aren't you guys too old to be trick or treating at this point? I'm like, shut up. Give me candy.

[Big J Okerson]

Aren't you too old to not give me candy?

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, so I trick or treated until I was 18 years old.

[Big J Okerson]

You. Dude. That was crazy.

[Mo Mandel]

Alex, points.

[Alex]

All right, you guys, on the scoreboard, I have Che with 4 points, Naim with 9 points, Big J with 10 points, Mo with 11 points, and Lewis with 16 points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is nuts.

[Naim Ali]

When do. When do we spin that dreidel and make it triple points? Control the weather like that Minority more up. And let's get some triple points on the board.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's be honest. Triple points is not going to help Jay now. But here's the thing, Jay. You're not out of this game because what you can play right here is a very integral part in this game.

[Mo Mandel]

You need to stop saying this.

[Big J Okerson]

Giant killer.

[Mo Mandel]

Stop saying giant killer. Nobody uses this term with giant kill. You're trying to make the catch on in story wars. He does it. I mean, almost every week. Nobody uses the term. It's not going to catch on.

[Che Durena]

I'll sell my soul like Ariel.

[Mo Mandel]

What's going on, Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

Your idea is stupid and sucks. That's why I tell everybody I'm trying to build up.

[Mo Mandel]

Keep on eating that candy, fatty. Now you have to finish chewing it.

[Big J Okerson]

You're a nougat. I won't let you see me drink water. It's right here. It would fix everything. I won't let it happen. Oh, I saw Lewis rang. Doesn't matter. Like, over his shoulder, and it made me want to punch.

[Naim Ali]

I think that's. That's like doing an NFL dance in the end zone. Like, you should lose a point for that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, like, what the.

[Naim Ali]

That's bad.

[Mo Mandel]

That was delightful.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone, it's me. I think it's question seven, in fact, every week. And I fall for it every time.

[Mo Mandel]

You are tough. He just got dominated by Gomez. Last question of the night or last story of the night, Alex.

[Alex]

Story number eight. During high school, I made out with the fattest chick at the Halloween party. She was dressed as the Wendy's mascot.

[Big J Okerson]

That's Wendy. The Wendy's mascot is Wendy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Wendy.

[Alex]

For the rest of the school year, my friends called me the Baconator.

[Mo Mandel]

Yo. What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Mo Mandel]

Jesus Christ.

[Naim Ali]

I mean, I got to say, the friends are funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is.

[Mo Mandel]

That is.

[Naim Ali]

That is the perfect name for that.

[Big J Okerson]

Did they have Wendy's in Canada?

[Che Durena]

We do have Wendy's. And.

[Mo Mandel]

Oh, no, they would have called you the Royale Cheese Inator. The Royale.

[Naim Ali]

That's the Canadian Baconator.

[Big J Okerson]

But ew, that would be so gross.

[Naim Ali]

Come on, come on, come on.

[Mo Mandel]

These are good jokes. It's a good show.

[Naim Ali]

I know the fattest girl in high school. I don't think it's naim. Unless there are fat white girls at your school that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Che Durena]

Do you like fat chicks?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Never. I've had sex with one chubby lady.

[Naim Ali]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One chubby lady in life.

[Naim Ali]

All right. I don't think it's Jay because his friends would have been like, whoa, One of Us hooked up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, if it helps you out, that one chubby lady, I got her pregnant and she's my first baby mom. She's disgusting. She's disgusting.

[Che Durena]

She's disgusting.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone gets a baby.

[Mo Mandel]

That's right.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone deserves a baby from a guy who's not gonna be with you.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah. I don't think this is Jay. Because if it was Jay Story, it would just be a chick at a Halloween party.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I will be honest with you though. One thing fat people love is fat. On fat crime, there's nothing I love more than pointing out and making fun of other fat people. It brings me joy.

[Naim Ali]

I think. I think this is what Jay told his friends would happen. But really what happened was he went home, ate Wendy's and beat off to Wendy on the rapper.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not above it. And then I told two people he was.

[Naim Ali]

He was the Baconator on both used a little mayo as lube.

[Mo Mandel]

Did the Baconator exist when Jay was in high school?

[Naim Ali]

That's a good question. It did not.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I'm thinking of thinking of the fattest chick in high school. And if I would have made out with her, and I will say I wouldn't have.

[Naim Ali]

That was. That was the sound of we don't believe you.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know what it was, but that probably what it was. Yeah, I was kind of like, why are they not overwhelmed with joy? And I was like, you know what? I. I had enough self respect that I didn't make out with the fattest girl in school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, what high school did you go to? Because I can figure this out.

[Mo Mandel]

Chunky girl high.

[Big J Okerson]

Lamberton.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You went to Lamberton? West Philly, Overbrook Park.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep.

[Che Durena]

Were they fat over there?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They had some attractive ladies at that school, sure.

[Naim Ali]

Well, I'm sure they did, but that's not the one he hooked up with. No one called him the smoothie ater.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, wasn't the fattest the fattest? And in fairness, I have no idea what she looks like now. His name was Rhonda.

[Che Durena]

That's a fat name.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a fat or smoke show name. It's one or the other. It's an upper down.

[Che Durena]

But like a smoke show stripper. That's a run.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. You're not wrong. No. Whoever the smoke show is, for sure she's a piece of pig. No.

[Naim Ali]

Make no mistake, but Che's a pretty good looking guy. I feel like you probably hooked up a lot in high school.

[Che Durena]

I did decent in high school, so.

[Mo Mandel]

That'S why Jay has the energy of the guy who would hook up with the fattest chicken to be funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right, Right.

[Che Durena]

That is a good bit. That is a good bit.

[Naim Ali]

Or he would think he was doing her a favor, but then it really just broke her heart.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

By the way.

[Naim Ali]

Here you go, piglet.

[Che Durena]

Something to remember me by.

[Mo Mandel]

Also, hold on. It's not the fattest chick at the school. It's the fattest chick at the party. Which it could just been like, you.

[Naim Ali]

Know, could have been a really hot party.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. It also could have been a party at. Again, fattest is relative. This could be like a Halloween party for like anorexics just starting to get together.

[Mo Mandel]

It's true.

[Big J Okerson]

So it's like some 89 pound pig was fucking over there, holding the building up, I guess.

[Naim Ali]

So the fattest girl at this party was the only girl who ate breakfast.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah. Big J. And I'm the same guy. Like, we just weren't going to high school parties and making out with chicks.

[Naim Ali]

No, you were trick or treating. We were very, like, a real cool guy. You were too busy being real cool.

[Big J Okerson]

So much Milky Way. This thing's Milky Way. Heavy.

[Mo Mandel]

You didn't stop. You look great.

[Naim Ali]

I think it was Naim.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think it was me? I would never make out with a fat. I don't do that. That's not my style, buddy.

[Che Durena]

Yeah, he's not gay. Guys. I feel like.

[Naim Ali]

I feel like fat girls and not gay go together real well. That's.

[Big J Okerson]

Fat girls love gays like him.

[Che Durena]

To be like, oh, I. I would never a fat. But I would fake my own suicide.

[Naim Ali]

I got.

[Big J Okerson]

I have respect, you know, it is a weird line to draw. Agreed.

[Naim Ali]

Also, he already said his baby mama is fat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She is. The first one is.

[Naim Ali]

So maybe this is the. This is when she got conceived.

[Che Durena]

Yeah. All right.

[Mo Mandel]

But wait.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But baby mama number two and number three aren't fat, so. Okay.

[Che Durena]

He learned his lesson.

[Naim Ali]

Guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I change my ways.

[Che Durena]

That's the moral of the story.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, I am good. The fattest chick at the Halloween party.

[Mo Mandel]

All right, I know mine. I got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's. It's Jay.

[Mo Mandel]

I know it is. Che D. I think it is, too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You look like a fat lady could talk you into kissing her.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah, I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know a fat lady could talk you into that.

[Mo Mandel]

Jay, you're a sweet boy, and I think just some fat girl could convince you to make out for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree.

[Mo Mandel]

Agree. You think it's a great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everybody up here knows what.

[Che Durena]

This is crazy.

[Mo Mandel]

You got.

[Naim Ali]

You got big girl energy. You got big girl energy.

[Big J Okerson]

You look like A you look like a really handsome guy that tackled a.

[Naim Ali]

Big every now and then, you know, was just coming up.

[Big J Okerson]

You flash that million dollar smile and they go banginator.

[Che Durena]

And you'd be like, one time, fat girl energy. This is bad for my rep, man.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone's answers are in.

[Alex]

You guys are correct. That was true.

[Mo Mandel]

Yes, we know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We read you like this book right here by Amy Fisher. Yes.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, I think the real answer was Baconator. We're too old for that.

[Che Durena]

Yeah, I didn't even think about that, man. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Che Durena]

No, it's a classic. Like choose is to like go to a party and like flirt with too many girls. They're all like, he's trying to fuck all of us. And then the last one left is like the ugliest chick.

[Big J Okerson]

And I'm like, not going home alone.

[Che Durena]

I've done that many times. Many times.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mo Mandel]

Yeah.

[Che Durena]

Fuck yeah, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

God, we're all so empty inside.

[Mo Mandel]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, our final scoreboard, Alex.

[Alex]

Our final scoreboard has Che Darino with.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, wait, wait. Before you read it, know that Amy Fisher, my story has received a mix of ratings. Some readers found it compelling and appreciated her honesty, while others criticized it for being self serving or lacking depth. Overall, it's often seen as a polarizing read with opinions varying widely based on individual perspectives on her actions and the events surrounding them. Please, James.

[Mo Mandel]

Sorry, I don't want to trash you, but you're. I would say you're so dumb that you think that smart people do this to make points.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you guys will understand. Yes, it's my. Jeff Goldblum hands the points.

[Alex]

The points. I have Che with 4 points, Naim with 13 points, Big J with 14 points, Mo with 15 points, and Lewis with 20 points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God damn it.

[Mo Mandel]

This book was not leaving our possession.

[Big J Okerson]

The book stays in house.

[Mo Mandel]

Stays in house today. Can you guys sign it for me, please?

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody, please sign the book, everybody. How about a big round of applause for everybody. Make sure you check out most new special trying to make it right now on YouTube. Thank you so much, Mo. Thank you so much, Che. Naim Ali. We'll catch you guys next time on Story Wars. Good night.