014. Brooks Wheelan, Mike Vecchione, & Sarah Tollemache| Dating

Summary

Podcast Summary: Story Warz Episode 014 – Brooks Wheelan, Mike Vecchione, & Sarah Tollemache | Dating

Release Date: November 8, 2024
Hosted by: GaS Digital Network
Guests: Brooks Wheelan, Mike Vecchione, Sarah Tollemache

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1. Introduction and Welcome

The episode kicks off with the charismatic hosts, Big Jay Oakerson and Louis J. Gomez, welcome their guests to "Story Warz," a comedic showdown where storytelling meets competition.

• [00:30] Mike Vecchione: "What's up, everybody? Hello, everybody, and welcome to Story wars, everybody."

• [01:22] Louis J. Gomez: "Put your hands together for the hilarious Mike Vecchione, Brooks Wheelan, and Sarah Tollemache."

2. Game Overview: Story Wars

"Story Warz" is introduced as a game where each participant submits personal stories around a chosen theme—in this episode, Dating. The objective is to deceive the panel into guessing incorrectly, thereby earning points either by fooling others or correctly identifying others' stories.

• [03:13] Mike Vecchione: "Quick Story Awards is a very fun game, everybody, where everybody on this panel has submitted three to five stories on a subject. Today's subject, of course, is dates/dating."

3. Round 1: Buying a Used Vehicle

The first story revolves around purchasing a used vehicle early in a relationship, leading to comedic banter about the mishaps that ensued.

• [07:51] Alex: "Story number one. I bought a used vehicle for someone I was dating for less than a month."

• [08:15] Louis J. Gomez: "But I feel like Sarah doesn't date shitty guys, only nice guys."

Discussion Highlights: Participants debate who among them could plausibly relate to the story, with humorous accusations and strategic guessing to outwit each other.

• [26:34] Louis J. Gomez: "If I have a snake, I'm out."

4. Round 2: Cheating and Denial

The second story delves into experiences of infidelity, with one participant sharing a tale of discovering a partner's cheating through evidence like photos.

• [19:00] Alex: "Story number two. I had a partner cheat on me and deny it. When I found proof that they refuted it by saying it's only sex."

• [20:20] Sarah Tollemache: "I would just live with it."

Notable Quote:

• [19:22] Louis J. Gomez: "It's only sex. There was no emotion involved at all."

Key Interaction: Louis passionately defends his stance on the topic, emphasizing the emotional toll of betrayal.

5. Round 3: Dating Reality TV Show Winners

The third story discusses the peculiarities of dating someone from the reality TV realm, leading to playful skepticism about who among the guests authored the tale.

• [28:52] Alex: "Story number three. I briefly dated the winner of a popular reality television show."

• [32:32] Alex: "That was Louis J. Gomez."

Humorous Exchange: The guests rib each other about their dating histories, with Louis mocking Mike's storytelling attempts.

• [32:32] Louis J. Gomez: "YOU GUYS ARE FOOLS."

6. Mid-Game Momentum and Double Points Announcement

As the game progresses, the hosts introduce a twist: the final four stories will be worth double points, intensifying the competition.

• [49:43] Mike Vecchione: "The next four stories will be double points."

7. Rounds 4 to 6: Increasing Stakes and Rivalry

Subsequent stories cover a range of dating misadventures, including awkward first dates, dealing with pets during dates, and losing virginity to specific songs. The banter becomes more heated as the points tally rises.

• [57:26] Alex: "Story number five. I went to see a movie on a first date and inhaled a piece of popcorn. I was coughing the entire film."

Engaging Dialogue:

• [61:24] Mike Vecchione: "I ruined that movie for you. Here's a motorcycle. I bought you a motorcycle to make up for ruining a walk in the clouds."

8. Final Rounds and Climax

The competition reaches its peak with the last stories, where strategic guessing and bluffing determine the final scores. The hosts and guests employ humor and personal anecdotes to sway opinions and secure victories.

• [75:59] Alex: "That was Sarah Tol."

Critical Moment: Louis takes the lead with strategic victories, provoking reactions from other guests.

9. Conclusion and Promotions

The episode wraps up with the hosts and guests promoting their upcoming specials, books, and other projects, ensuring listeners stay engaged beyond the game.

• [83:09] Mike Vecchione: "Ohio's BigJcomedy.com for all my dates. Listen to the bonfire five days a week."

• [83:34] Louis J. Gomez: "Subscribe to Gas Digital. If you love the show, check out the uncensored version."

10. Notable Quotes and Moments

Throughout the episode, several standout moments punctuate the humorous and competitive atmosphere:

• [05:10] Big J Okerson: "It was a front. It was an absolute front."

• [16:57] Brooks Whelan: "It's getting."

• [24:22] Big J Okerson: "Gotta be Sarah."

• [35:08] Mike Vecchione: "That may be the best observation I've ever heard."

• [43:05] Mike Vecchione: "That was Sarah Talamash."

• [66:22] Louis J. Gomez: "They wouldn't do the double points if they didn't love it and want it so much."

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Final Thoughts

Episode 014 of "Story Warz" delivers a robust blend of personal storytelling, competitive banter, and comedic exchanges among its hosts and guests. Through eight engaging rounds centered on dating, listeners are treated to authentic anecdotes, strategic gameplay, and plenty of laughs. The introduction of double points midway heightens the excitement, ensuring that no one is safe and the leaderboard remains dynamic until the very end. As always, "Story Warz" emphasizes the art of deceptive storytelling, making it a must-listen for fans of comedy and engaging podcast battles.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• [00:30] Mike Vecchione: "What's up, everybody? Hello, everybody, and welcome to Story wars, everybody."

• [07:51] Alex: "Story number one. I bought a used vehicle for someone I was dating for less than a month."

• [19:00] Alex: "Story number two. I had a partner cheat on me and deny it. When I found proof that they refuted it by saying it's only sex."

• [28:52] Alex: "Story number three. I briefly dated the winner of a popular reality television show."

• [49:43] Mike Vecchione: "The next four stories will be double points."

• [57:26] Alex: "Story number five. I went to see a movie on a first date and inhaled a piece of popcorn. I was coughing the entire film."

• [75:59] Alex: "That was Sarah Tol."

These moments encapsulate the essence of the episode, highlighting the blend of humor, competition, and personal anecdotes that define "Story Warz."

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

Fill her up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Story wars with the Story Warriors.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Big J Okerson and Louis J. Gomez.

[Mike Vecchione]

What's up, everybody? Hello, everybody, and welcome to Story wars, everybody. We are your Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez. Thank you for being here with us.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hello. We are half full. I'm positive. I'm being positive right now.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, it's a half full crowd.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a half full crowd, but this.

[Mike Vecchione]

Crowd is ready for fucking Story Wars. I know that we have three amazing guests on the show today. Let's bring them out in no particular order, everybody. He's got a special called the Attractives available right now on YouTube. How about you make some noise for the hilarious Mike Vecchione, everybody?

[Louis J. Gomez]

And our next contestant, brand new special called Alive in Alaska, out on November 12th. Ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together for Brooks Whelan. And our last competitor from the Lady Journal podcast, put your hands together for the one and only Sarah Tollemage. You guys, you guys are all dressed like you're playing College Jeopardy.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yes, yes. Representing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. That's a really good joke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you. I appreciate it, Brooks.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a dynamite joke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Welcome to Story Wars. Jay's ordering drinks right now.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, it's a confusion thing happening over here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's okay. Don't worry about it.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's not a problem.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We actually have a show that we're trying to get off the ground here.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah. We'll clean this up in post. Welcome to Story wars, guys. Thank you so much for being here. This is a. It's a very easy game. It's very easy to explain. What? God, you fucking cock. For my sock, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm sorry.

[Mike Vecchione]

Completely in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Completely an accident.

[Brooks Whelan]

Wait a second. Is this part of it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I'm sorry.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was just a buffoon.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't you dare. That's hurtful. Mine was an accident. Yours was deliberate.

[Big J Okerson]

It. It's also funny for a guy to be like, I ordered three shots. You knocked two. Like, you're both wrong.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You still have.

[Mike Vecchione]

Lewis is wrong for soaking my pants and socks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was an accident.

[Big J Okerson]

First of all, three shots at once.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He still has one shot to ease the pain.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how many he should have.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, no, no, no. I say let's get there. That's all. Quick Story Awards is a very fun game, everybody, where everybody on this panel has submitted three to five stories on a subject. Today's subject, of course, is Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dates. Dating.

[Mike Vecchione]

Dating. Yes. Dates slash Dating. And everyone up here has submitted three to five stories on that subject. They're going to be read out loud at random, one at a time, by the lovely Alex, our producer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I will say I can really smell the alcohol emanating off your clothes right now.

[Mike Vecchione]

I want to. I'll be honest with you. I thought.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't you dare. Don't you dare.

[Mike Vecchione]

Three times.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But you don't want to start this game of us deliberately throwing stuff at each other. That's crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Why do you ruin everything in my life?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I brought you so many good things, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wet socks, a destroyed computer once.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I will say it was my computer. Oh, you're right, dickhead. It was your shoe.

[Mike Vecchione]

But it was brand new shoes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Old ass computer.

[Mike Vecchione]

Same glass of wine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

One glass of wine. You know, they say one bird or two birds, one stone. It was one glass of wine and a computer. And a pair of shoes.

[Mike Vecchione]

A new pair of shoes, you fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

Time out. Time out. You spilled a glass of wine on a computer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I spill things weekly. It's his fault for not moving away.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're right.

[Big J Okerson]

So, wait, did you ruin his computer with.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I ruined my computer.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, that's fair.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then it spilled off the computer also and went all over my new shoes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, God damn it.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's hard to complain about your shoes, Jay. Someone's destroyed their computer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was our first date. And that was one of my stories. Alex, scratch it. God damn it.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm sorry. Can I get two more shots away from Lewis?

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If you weren't being so distracting with the shots, I wouldn't have bumped the table. I was getting a little bit nervous. I was a little on edge. Brooks was staring at me.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm laughing at what happened.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Brooks, do you remember how much cocaine we did at the Cabo Comedy Festival?

[Brooks Whelan]

Wait a second.

[Big J Okerson]

I remember not going up at the Cabo Comedy Festival.

[Mike Vecchione]

Too much cocaine to go up. That's usually the idea.

[Big J Okerson]

I remember they were like, do you want to go up? And I go, nah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was the worst comedy festival that's ever existed.

[Big J Okerson]

It was a front. It was an absolute front.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

No one was there to make money.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The owners of this place were the people putting on the front.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wow. It was a lot. They were laundering money for sure. Yes. And it was the only time I've been flown to do comedy. I said, I don't want to do comedy. And they said, totally cool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yep. They had no issues with it.

[Mike Vecchione]

When the story gets read out by Alex, if it is your story, it is your job. To make everybody think that it is not. So they don't vote for you. If it's not your story, it's your job to try to figure out who it is. You get two points if you guess the right person. You get a point for every person you fool if it's your story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And by the way, if you look at this guy's face, it's like that meme where all the numbers and letters are going by his head right now. He's going like this. Up. He has no idea what you just said, dude. He has no idea what's happening right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Now between werewolf hunts.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

You were at the show. I did here last night. Yeah. Pull your hair up like a bun. Pull your hair up like a bun. I. I said he looks just like Aaron Rogers with his hair up like that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah. This guy rocks. Absolutely.

[Brooks Whelan]

A winning Aaron.

[Mike Vecchione]

Or he's the guy who's gonna kill you. Brooks. He's your.

[Big J Okerson]

I think that guy could rock.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's your longtime stalker. That's right. They're not mutually exclusive. And by the way, every week here on Story wars, you're playing for a book. The chance to win a book from the Story wars library. Today we have a used copy of Blackout How Black America Can Make Its Second Escape from the Democrat Plantation by Candace Owens. In it, Candace Owens.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can I get alcohol on it?

[Mike Vecchione]

No. In it, Just me. In it, Candace explores the historical and contemporary relationship between black Americans and the Democratic Party. She argues that many black Americans have been trapped in a cycle of dependency and victimhood due to progressive policies.

[Brooks Whelan]

It looks pretty white in here tonight.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Brooks Whelan]

I'd say you have some work to do here at Story Wars.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, no, no, we're doing fine. It's very progressive. Do you know how progressive it is to have a completely white audience? No one's doing that anymore. We're ahead of the curve. When the pendulum swings back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm excited to play, guys. You guys will get the game. Everyone's excited. Guys, are you ready for Story Wars?

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Come on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

F.

[Mike Vecchione]

Sarah, wait. One more thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, God damn it, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

When you pick your final answer, you write it down the whiteboard. When you put your whiteboard in the rack. Final answer. You can.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Even our boards are white.

[Brooks Whelan]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All white all day. That's the way the Story warriors say. Story number one.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alex.

[Alex]

Story number one. I bought a used vehicle for someone I was dating for less than a month.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've thought about it.

[Big J Okerson]

This is all. This is all five of us.

[Mike Vecchione]

There's all five of Us Now. I'm gonna throw. I'm gonna throw a Hail Mary in this and say this is something that a woman gets tricked into doing by a shitty guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But I feel like Sarah doesn't date shitty guys, only nice guys.

[Brooks Whelan]

But in her past, she might have dated shitty guys.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, we know. The guy now is a great guy.

[Sarah Tollemache]

He's a great guy that we know of.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's true. Also, he could be wildly abusive behind the scenes. I don't live with that or kill.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Me later in life.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He also hasn't happened. He could snap. There's a moment where somebody becomes a really crazy person.

[Mike Vecchione]

Sarah. Point taken and accepted. The jury's out on Joe List. But. But maybe in your past you had to kiss a lot of frogs for. You got to that prince. And this sounds like a guy could talk a girl into this shit. I feel like you have behavior also, which does.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's. What.

[Brooks Whelan]

But you know what? Lewis also has a big heart. I could see Lewis doing this in his past. Buying a used vehicle for someone.

[Big J Okerson]

This feels like.

[Brooks Whelan]

Not a new one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I have a small heart for a human, but a large heart for a Grinch.

[Big J Okerson]

This feels like a. This feels like a move done by someone who was poor, got a ton of money for like a month, and then was like, I'll show off. That feels like you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Big J really does feel like a. It does feel like a Montreal just for laughs 1998 development deal.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

It feels like I got this. I'm never gonna be poor again, but.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Not too much money because it was a used vehicle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This was an IFC type of development.

[Brooks Whelan]

Sounds like a door to door knife salesman. Show it off.

[Mike Vecchione]

It does. It could be. Listen, my. My ex. You could have. Technically, we were dating for a long time before we got married, and I could have bought our used vehicle with said IFC and. Or Montreal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it. As he says it out loud, I just know it's not true. Jay didn't make any money until exactly 4.5 years ago.

[Mike Vecchione]

4.5. 4 1/2 years ago.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, I can see Vecchion doing this. Vecchion's Italian. The Italian just lover guy type of attitude and energy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right?

[Brooks Whelan]

There's a lot of used irocs out there.

[Mike Vecchione]

I also do feel like Jeff. Mike, you are you. You do come from a family where you might feel it's the honorable thing to do. You don't make a lady walk home at night.

[Big J Okerson]

You are sweet. You have got nice eyes. Vecchion has nice eyes.

[Brooks Whelan]

You buy her a Car that breaks down on the way home.

[Mike Vecchione]

That way she always needs you.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a long con. Well, I'll get you car, maybe, and I'll fix it when it's broken.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like Brooks is the. Brooks is the odd one out here. I don't know a ton about Brooks, but I could also see Brooks coming from a very rich family that just has used car money.

[Brooks Whelan]

Used car lot. And this is a. He's from a rural. He's a rural. And I think this is a.

[Louis J. Gomez]

His dad might have owned a used car dealership thing to do.

[Big J Okerson]

My dad managed car dealership.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes. God, it's getting.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Brooks, you don't have to give us that information.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, I, I, I don't know what's wrong with that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like this could easily be Brooks.

[Big J Okerson]

When your dad manages a car dealership, you don't have access to the car.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You get a good discount. You get a solid discount.

[Big J Okerson]

You get a good discount. I don't feel like my dad would be like, absolutely. Let me sell you Question.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What type of discount?

[Big J Okerson]

I actually never used it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, Lewis would like to know for the next girl he does this for.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

The most privileged thing that ever happened to me was my grandparents, when I graduated high school, gave me $5,000, and I bought a 1997 Firebird and drove it into a bridge pretty quick.

[Mike Vecchione]

Into a bridge?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was snowing. I was going to an open mic in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can't even commit. You can't even commit suicide right.

[Brooks Whelan]

I know, I know.

[Big J Okerson]

The back, the back. So the back hit, I was spinning in the back, hit the bridge, and it folded up over the top of the car. And I got out and I was like, I don't know if that's totaled or not. And I took a photo and sent it to my dad. I was like, I wrecked the car. I don't know how bad it is. He's like, the back tire is over the front tire. That's done.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're like, yeah, that's what I'm thinking. When you pick me up, should you bring a hammer or something? Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like there's some X factor here. We don't know a ton about. Brooks. I can't imagine this being Jay Vecchione. Once again, I knew these guys. I've known these guys for nearly two decades. These guys, none of them had money at all back in the day to buy a. A car. That's crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

Maybe my first used car was 800 bucks. It's not. Wasn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, I guess you're right. But even that when I was like 21, an extra 800 was just unimaginable.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna throw it out there. I'm gonna put my vote for Brooks Wheeling.

[Mike Vecchione]

Ooh, interesting. Mike's not writing because it's him.

[Brooks Whelan]

No, I'm going. I'm going. Sarah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, that was my first call with Sarah.

[Brooks Whelan]

Sarah T. On this one, I just.

[Big J Okerson]

Feel like Lewis was. Had too much. Why it's not him?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because I'm very good at the game. Brooks, you're going to learn that look the hard way.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, Look, I'm just like. That's why I guessed you.

[Brooks Whelan]

I narrow it down to Lewis and Sarah. It's Lewis and Sarah on this one.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think that means not Mike. Everyone's final answers are in Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I feel like it's Sarah now. God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

Gotta be Sarah.

[Alex]

That was Sarah Tol.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. You're right, Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're very good.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It wasn't a car. It was a motorcycle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was a motorcycle.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It was a Kawasaki.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why did you change it to car? Why'd you change it to a car, Alex?

[Mike Vecchione]

You didn't say car because you used vehicle.

[Alex]

I didn't change it.

[Brooks Whelan]

I said vehicle.

[Mike Vecchione]

Very tricky wording.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Good job.

[Big J Okerson]

That was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Motorcycle would have been a masculine thing.

[Big J Okerson]

My favorite game I've ever played.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is a fun game. Round one, we're in.

[Big J Okerson]

It's really fun.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So you bought a motorcycle for some guy?

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yes. And it's exactly. How cool was it? He was so cool that he totaled his car during the day because he was racing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Was he racing Brooks to a bridge in the snow?

[Big J Okerson]

It was to do penguins open mic in Cedar Rapids.

[Sarah Tollemache]

And I waited tables at the moment for a while, and I was living at home, so I racked up a shit ton of money. And then he kept never filling it up with gas, so I would always see it broken down on the side of the road on the way to work. And then in the breakup, I got the motorcycle back, but I didn't know how to drive it. And my dad was always like, it's going to break down if you don't drive it. So every few weeks, I would get my friend Mike Martinez to drive me around my. And my Kawasaki Vulcan 750, which is a lowrider.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely spite driving a motorcycle.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, it was like a motorcycle. Like a motorcycle gang motorcycle. Not like a.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It had the big handlebars. Yeah, it was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You were dating A Mexican cholo.

[Big J Okerson]

Ape hangers.

[Mike Vecchione]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

They're called ape hangers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I don't. I didn't look into too much research when I bought it. It was $10,000. I had so much money, he was supposed to pay me back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I bet he was.

[Brooks Whelan]

They always are.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God.

[Sarah Tollemache]

And he was a defunct Mormon.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Oh, people got weird with that.

[Big J Okerson]

That was such a funny.

[Mike Vecchione]

The food here is absurd to have in a comedy club.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Also, you guys ordered two orders of fries. Guys, relax. You don't need that many French fries.

[Mike Vecchione]

For car bloating for the hunt. Tomorrow is Halloween. The moon is full.

[Big J Okerson]

Also, I like how we were all like, used cars can be, like, 300 bucks. Like, that's how we think as comics.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she's like, it was a $10,000 motorcycle is crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

She got him a beautiful Kawasaki from Mike Martinez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I understand why Jolis married you.

[Brooks Whelan]

You're so loving a deadbeat Mormon.

[Sarah Tollemache]

No, I learned my lesson.

[Mike Vecchione]

I, out of the Gates, described exactly who it was and why and for a change, went against my instincts and myself over hard.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay does that a lot. Jay will talk himself and the rest of the team out of the right answer. Be wary of that in Story Wars.

[Big J Okerson]

Fascinating.

[Brooks Whelan]

We have Alex. Can you see the points are close?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What'd you say?

[Brooks Whelan]

I need an eraser.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, we need. Here.

[Brooks Whelan]

Oh, I could just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, they're all wet. They're all soaking wet. Sorry.

[Alex]

All right, on the board, I have Mike Vecchione with two points for guessing correctly and Sarah with three points for tricking three people.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow. Wow.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Out of the Gates, two newbies.

[Big J Okerson]

Great. Who came up with this?

[Mike Vecchione]

Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Technically, me, but we all. We all massage it together.

[Mike Vecchione]

We all.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's fun.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We all. We all.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Are we? And where's the campaign with our mouth?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can you get them three glasses? Jorge, get them cups, please.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Just little tiny shot glasses.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay, we got to take a quick moment and thank one of my favorite sponsors for the show, which is Mando. Clinically proven to control your odor for a full 24 hours. We're talking about Total body deodorant, not just your. Your armpits. We're. Look, look. I'll tell you right now, we got different stinky parts of our body, and most of the fans of this show do not smell good. We're talking about your butthole, your crack, your grundle, your. Your. You know, every crevice in your body. Your belly button, the folds between your back and neck, your hoo.

[Mike Vecchione]

Ha. Your hey, now, your. What's that? But now Mando is telling you to check out their 4 in 1 acidified cleansing bar, which comes in the save the day. It's a five ounce wonder that does the job of shampoo, face wash, body wash, and deodorant. Plus, if you need a quick shave, it can create a rich lather, making it technically a five in one product. Everybody, simplify your hygiene routine right now and check out Mando. We have a sweet deal for you new customers. You can get $5 off Mando's best selling starter pack with promo code [e-mail].

[Louis J. Gomez]

It'S wars with a ZJ.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wars with a Z. Wars. Yeah, I said it cool. Wars. So make sure you use that code wars with a [e-mail]. you get that $5 off, get Mando in your life and your travel routine will. Thank you, everybody. All right, let's get back into it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's go to story number two.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alex.

[Alex]

Story number two. I had a partner cheat on me and deny it. When I found proof that they refuted it by saying it's only sex.

[Brooks Whelan]

This has big J written all over it.

[Sarah Tollemache]

This has only what?

[Brooks Whelan]

It's only sex.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's only.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's only sex.

[Mike Vecchione]

I mean, I see the thing.

[Brooks Whelan]

I could see the monitor.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I do understand. All right. This is definitely 100 a guy. Because that's guy logic. Because we're like. We're like, yeah, dude, it was just sex. There was no emotion involved at all. I didn't even like this bitch.

[Mike Vecchione]

So you're going Sarah again. Again? Sarah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying that this is guy logic completely.

[Big J Okerson]

But the person who cheated said it's only sex. It's guy logic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

When I found the proof, they. Oh, they. It might be Sarah again. It might be the same guy that you bought a motorcycle for.

[Big J Okerson]

That's motorcycle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This guy's the coolest guy ever.

[Sarah Tollemache]

But we're in a.

[Mike Vecchione]

On the Kawasaki, he was like, boom, boom.

[Big J Okerson]

It's only six, baby.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Rolling stone never gathers.

[Brooks Whelan]

No, but Mormons have a lot of partners, right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Don't they?

[Big J Okerson]

No. They have a lot of kids. Oh, no, they do. They have a lot of wives.

[Brooks Whelan]

But he was a defunct Mormon.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah, we weren't getting married. He was a defunct Mormon.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can also see an absolute saying that. Oh, I'm mad. It's making me mad. Whenever I think about a woman cheating, I'm like, oh, you pig. Oh, it makes me so mad just the thought of it.

[Mike Vecchione]

I Don't know why I'm feeling. I think it might be Louis. This.

[Brooks Whelan]

I'm thinking Jay or Sarah.

[Mike Vecchione]

This could be Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If this was me, you would have heard this story. Because I would have fucking. This would have really affected me. Being cheated on.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're like, is that how I sound?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Being cheated on? Really fucking would grind my gears.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right?

[Brooks Whelan]

But this is in the days of like, Sport, you living on 168th.

[Big J Okerson]

That is true.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Remember that girl? Remember that girl that I live with? She cheated on me in front of Sport. Oh, he never told me.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah, right. Yeah, Sport.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He tried to tell me. I thought he's. I thought he was just hungry. I wanted to go out.

[Mike Vecchione]

Some best friend. You keep barking. Why are you not shitting? I'm taking you out. What?

[Big J Okerson]

I think. I think Lewis and Big J, like, you are very open books.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Happened. I would have heard about it. Mike, Sarah, I feel like it's gotta be one of you two.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I don't confront people. So like I. If I found proof.

[Mike Vecchione]

You just live with it.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I would just live with it.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know, I made the decision to love this guy. This is what comes with him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She would write it down.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Rationalizing my bad behavior.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a quiet quit right there.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah, that's a quiet quitting.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She just crumble the paper and swallow it, right?

[Sarah Tollemache]

Or just start depositing all of his spot pay into my account.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, I'll tell you, Lewis's move though. Lewis is good at that. He just starts throwing crazy. Oh, if this was my. You would have heard this by now. So just let's not even talk. Let's not even think about it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's kind of Jason though. When it's his thing, he starts throwing it on me like it's my thing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everybody does that every time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's Jay, he does that.

[Brooks Whelan]

But these guys. But you. These guys are super vulnerable though. So I would say that this is one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You call me gay.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, in a roundabout way.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're vulnerable.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You call me gay.

[Mike Vecchione]

Vulnerable.

[Big J Okerson]

I Vecchio. And it could be you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You could.

[Big J Okerson]

You're such a nice dude that they might be like she said, it's only sex.

[Mike Vecchione]

There is nothing romantic about this dinner these two are having at this table. It's crazy.

[Brooks Whelan]

I wouldn't put up with this nonsense.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're sharing one steak. It's overcooked.

[Brooks Whelan]

Oh, my God.

[Mike Vecchione]

You don't want it?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'll have it. I'm starving. You'll share with me. Sir, please.

[Mike Vecchione]

Will you bring him forkfuls once in A while.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Once in a blue. Just give me a quick little bite. I swear to God, I would take a bite of that steak right now.

[Mike Vecchione]

She wouldn't let him feed her.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Protein. Heavy. Thank you, sir. Get over here. Get over here. Come on. We will not let Tony Hinchcliffe talk about our country this way.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, good. Good steak.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Good.

[Brooks Whelan]

Too bad it was laced with fentanyl.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, you lose.

[Brooks Whelan]

That's the twist this game needed.

[Mike Vecchione]

This does feel like I feel again. This is Sarah. I do like to play the odds that two of our stories can come back to back. Even though I know it's possible.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It has.

[Brooks Whelan]

Even though I've never heard this, I gotta say it's Big J. This sounds like a Big J. I'm going with you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just on.

[Mike Vecchione]

Even though Mike's jumping in too quick. It's Mike. Mike's jumping in too goddamn quick. He wanted to vote. He wanted to get everybody voting. He wanted it over with.

[Louis J. Gomez]

See, I feel like Big J just kind of showed his ass. Fuck you, Sarah. Well, I don't know why I get offended when they choose me.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Especially when it's very possible.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I just feel like you would do your due diligence of finding proof.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would find that proof.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That whore. Yeah, that slut. Hold on, I gotta get my vote.

[Mike Vecchione]

This guy isn't your gynecologist who uses as a tool.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Big J. Yeah. Is this you? That's a strategy Jay uses as well. Right where I asked him if it's him and he goes reverse.

[Mike Vecchione]

There's only so many strategies this game, guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Never ending strategies. I don't want to lose.

[Mike Vecchione]

I know. Me either. God, I really hope it's Mike.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think it's Mike.

[Brooks Whelan]

I'm telling you, that's not Mike.

[Mike Vecchione]

Sometimes Lewis will put on a performance like this when it's him the whole.

[Brooks Whelan]

Time for no reason.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. I'm the last guy. There's no reason for this performance.

[Brooks Whelan]

Put me down if you want. Put me down if you want.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. God damn it. If it's Big J, I'm gonna be pissed. Mike Vecchione. That's my vote.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alex.

[Alex]

Wow, you guys. That was Mike Vecchio.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He was trying too hard at the end to swim.

[Brooks Whelan]

Real bad too. It hurt real bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I'm sure. Dude, that sounds brutal.

[Brooks Whelan]

When I was writing it today.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What? Tell the story. What happened?

[Mike Vecchione]

You relived.

[Brooks Whelan]

I was dating somebody and then they. They started cheating on me and I was like something suspicious.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How did you find out?

[Brooks Whelan]

I found pictures of them together.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What she had pictures.

[Big J Okerson]

Like Facebook.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, not like dirty pictures.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, just like, hard copy pictures.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What a retard. I mean, she just fucking. She had hard copy pictures and she left them in a place.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, don't go. Yeah, don't go in that weird pictures that you've never seen in my drawer. No, that little. That little path mark photo mat thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What year was this? How old are you?

[Brooks Whelan]

Like, I found her secret photo album, and.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Brooks Whelan]

And then I confronted her, and she was denying it. Denying, denied. And then she's like, well, it's only sex. I'm like, that's all there is. That's everything.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's everything to me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How many pictures were they all, like, together in one, like, little booklet of photos?

[Mike Vecchione]

A lot of photos.

[Sarah Tollemache]

So it's also just photos as well?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, there's also a lot of.

[Brooks Whelan]

It was her birthday, and it was a big happy birthday from him to her. She was like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Also, it was like the end of the hangover. So they were like, with Mike Tyson, then they were with the tiger then.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like this set. I don't know. That's no fun.

[Brooks Whelan]

This was hurtful.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Jokes on her that she died from AIDS from the guy she was cheating with.

[Big J Okerson]

In the think about how. Why didn't Jenny's little kid have AIDS too? In forest Gump.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did he?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Jenny died from aids, but the little forest Gump didn't have aids.

[Mike Vecchione]

He didn't have aids.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, you're. You don't inherently get AIDS from your AIDS mom.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I found out by watching for.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sir, we don't need your input.

[Mike Vecchione]

I wasn't against.

[Big J Okerson]

Sounds like he kind of knows.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like you want to hear.

[Mike Vecchione]

What he had to say.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, fine. You know what? What is your input, sir?

[Sarah Tollemache]

What's your background?

[Mike Vecchione]

He's an age.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's a guy of age.

[Brooks Whelan]

He's an AIDS doctor. He's an AIDS doctor.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's an age historian.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, square box that you could get.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, not listening. Okay, so you're saying 25 chance. If you have AIDS, your kid could have it.

[Brooks Whelan]

Sir, you work in a warehouse. Come on.

[Mike Vecchione]

But he has AIDS from his mother having aids twice.

[Brooks Whelan]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

So much aids.

[Big J Okerson]

So what you're saying is AIDS really hard to get.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Almost impossible from your mom. You said it, okay?

[Sarah Tollemache]

You heard it first.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If I had aids, I would assume that my babies are gonna have AIDS and I would not make babies for that reason. But now you're saying that there's a good chance there's not gonna have aids.

[Mike Vecchione]

Lewis, you can't get pregnant from guys fucking your butt. You're fine. You're fine. All right, what are the scores? What are we looking at? First guys coming for a steak bit?

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're kind of just saying, like, I watched him very. I watched him cut. Let me say this. I watched him cut me a piece, and then I watched him say, oh, this is too big of a piece, and make it smaller, you cheap piece of dude. Yeah, the dude. Nobody's so stingy. It's insane.

[Brooks Whelan]

Should be a science.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's insane behavior, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, it's insane.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have Lewis, big J, and Brooks with two points.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hello.

[Big J Okerson]

This is exciting. It's a close game.

[Alex]

Mike and Saris tied with three points each.

[Brooks Whelan]

Let's do it.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Thank you. It was a lot of hard work.

[Mike Vecchione]

The game is heating up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's go. Round three.

[Alex]

Story number three. I briefly dated the winner of a popular reality television show.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, it's not Sarah. She married a guy who lost last comic standing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. Well, I wouldn't call. I wouldn't call last comic standing popular either.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I think he got edited out completely.

[Mike Vecchione]

They did that to me before. Yeah, fuck that show.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It hurts.

[Mike Vecchione]

This feels Brooks.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It feels Brooks to me.

[Big J Okerson]

It does feel me. It feels me.

[Brooks Whelan]

This is something Brooks would.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Brooks do you live in la.

[Sarah Tollemache]

This is so you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Got me written all over it. But it's not Brooks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wheeling and feeling wheeling.

[Big J Okerson]

I have dated cool, cool people on tv, but never. This is not me. I don't know what to tell you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Brooks is a liar. I know it's not, Jay, because I would know this. I know it's not vacuum. I would know this.

[Mike Vecchione]

Lewis dated.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did date Sanjaya, but it was like, a month. And that he wasn't the winner.

[Mike Vecchione]

Dude, I was. When. When. When Sanjaya used to hang out with Lewis's. When Lewis had a street team crew of guys, he would hang out, and it was so. I was so new to comedy at that point. Even that. That I looked at, when Sanjay would come around, I would have, like, a. Yo, that's fucking Sanjaya.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's.

[Mike Vecchione]

I was, like, stoked on Sanjaya being there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like, you were also a big Howard Stern fan. So Sanjaya's fame was contrived from Howard Stern making a joke out of him. So you, like, were actually, like, Sanjaya was a little bit more in your culture.

[Mike Vecchione]

It wouldn't have mattered if I saw William hung. I'd be like, no, Way that guy was on the television box.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, it's got to be one.

[Big J Okerson]

Of you two to be completely.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shut up, Brooks.

[Big J Okerson]

It's absolutely one of you two.

[Mike Vecchione]

Thank you, Brooks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Really? It's one of the legion of skanks.

[Mike Vecchione]

What did I win? The biggest loser when they yo. Yoed back up.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Is. Is Karen on a winner of a reality TV show?

[Mike Vecchione]

A winner.

[Sarah Tollemache]

She was on a reality TV show, Finn. Yeah. The fat one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No, she. She was. That was. That was.

[Mike Vecchione]

She didn't win. She was the one on that show to yell at fat people. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She just was mean to a fat chick.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, but Sarah's past. We don't. We're not clear.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That is also true.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right, Sarah?

[Brooks Whelan]

We didn't know about the biker guy. We don't know about this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sarah used to date the winner of the contender, Survivor.

[Big J Okerson]

I did. I did see this and think, is this me?

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

But it's. But I didn't write that because I was thinking, have I done that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

But I didn't write written all over Brooks or Sarah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And Brooks famously dated Omaro Closer.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Well, I feel like I know yalls dating history.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Sarah Tollemache]

And I know a lot of yours. I don't know any of yours. That's why I'm like, no, it's gotta be.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it seems like it would be me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right. I'm just sort of. Brooks.

[Brooks Whelan]

It is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's no. It just has to be. This is retarded. If it's not.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I think it's. I gotta go with Lewis. I just feel like you would also.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ridiculous.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. I'm telling you, it could be Lewis in some way. God damn it. Oh, wait, wait. I'm changing to Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why are you doing that? I think.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know. I think.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Go with your instinct, though, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think I this up all the time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Asshole.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Good choice.

[Brooks Whelan]

J.

[Alex]

That was Louis J. Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn it. You remembered a detail from. So I didn't date her. I. I hooked up with the winner.

[Mike Vecchione]

America's next top.

[Louis J. Gomez]

America's next top model. I hooked up with a winner. I won't say what you. I'm not saying what she is. Come on. I. I hooked up.

[Big J Okerson]

I honestly thought, who else here sucks like me?

[Mike Vecchione]

And it was you.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why I picked you. I was like, who else is a piece of trash?

[Louis J. Gomez]

So we went out a couple times, but we. Yeah, we hooked up in the back of a taxi. And I remember she got out and the cab driver looked at me. He was like, yo. I was like, right.

[Brooks Whelan]

That'S the one time you didn't fight a cab driver.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we high five. We finally found common ground.

[Mike Vecchione]

You finally found common ground with a cab driver. Oh, that was good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Scores, J, Everything. God, what are the scores?

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it.

[Brooks Whelan]

Sorry, I kicked.

[Sarah Tollemache]

How recent that was?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, a decade ago.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, my God. I'm losing now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, definitely not a decade ago because I would have been with my son's mother. So definitely 11 or 12 years ago. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

However old James is, plus six months. It sounds about right. All my stories also before the calendar year 2001.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are our points at?

[Alex]

On the scoreboard? I have Mike and Sarah with three points each. Brooke Lewis and Big J. Sorry. Brooks Lewis and Big J with four points.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow. Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Game very close. Very strategic.

[Mike Vecchione]

This may be the closest game at this point we've ever had.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Going into. Going into round number four. This is the closest it's ever been. Usually somebody's pulling away at this point. This is neck and neck.

[Mike Vecchione]

Story number four is our halfway point. And guys, before you think this is about jack shit. Through personal anecdotes, cultural criticism, and a call for empowerment, Owens advocates for a shift towards conservative values, emphasizing self reliance, personal responsibility and freedom.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn. Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Keep your eyes on the prize, if you would, Mike Vecchione.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I don't read anymore.

[Mike Vecchione]

Huh?

[Sarah Tollemache]

I've stopped reading.

[Mike Vecchione]

You don't read black literature anymore?

[Sarah Tollemache]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, very racist anymore.

[Brooks Whelan]

Sarah's a biker.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can I just say something I never knew?

[Brooks Whelan]

Sarah's a dirty biker.

[Mike Vecchione]

She bought a motorcycle for a proud boy founder.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know what's going on right now, by the way. So we always have annoying laugh guy in the room. And he's back there, shout out annoying laugh guy. But we have a second annoying laugh guy sitting right in front of him that also cackles like a weird woman.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's like in stereo.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a crazy laugh guy laughs.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then it catches the wave of this guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a wild thing that I'm dealing with in my ear. The auditory craziness that's happening. It's. It's like a fun house of chaos.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know, it is. Everybody has their laugh. But it sucks when your laugh is your getting tickled laugh. Like you're getting tickled laugh should be reserved solely for tickling tickle tortures. They have tickle torture laugh on their regular joke laughs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's literally the best.

[Mike Vecchione]

They can't lose it. They're about to piss. If I laughed like that, I would be throwing punches like, stop Making me laugh or I'm going to pee on myself. My sock is still wet. Jay, can I have a diagonal?

[Louis J. Gomez]

That may be the best observation I've ever heard.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's a fully formed bit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was done.

[Big J Okerson]

That's done. That bit's done.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That is crazy how accurate that description is of what both of your laughs sounds like.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, see?

[Mike Vecchione]

Stop tickling me. No, no, stop. I'm gonna piss.

[Big J Okerson]

Those are scared laughs. They're scared. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.

[Brooks Whelan]

Both laugh guys have fun. Hats on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. They're fun guys. Both laugh guys support Trump.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, everybody, real quick, let's talk about one of our awesome sponsors here, Story Wars. And that is IP Vanish, everybody. It's very important right now that you can safely surf the Internet. And Ipvanish helps you do that, Everybody.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

What you do on the Internet isn't anybody else's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don. See what I do on the Internet.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, no. I know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Even so, it would ruin my career.

[Mike Vecchione]

Some of the words I look up in certain towns, it says, you shouldn't look this up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't do that. What are you crazy? Some of the words I can't. You're not even allowed to look up on porn sites anymore. You know that?

[Mike Vecchione]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Huh?

[Mike Vecchione]

So, look, I know. I know in Texas, you can't look up the words. My sister.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, look, I'll tell you right now. You. Your. Your IP address, all that is available to. To people that are trying to market to you. Social media companies, strangers, identity thieves that are out there trying to get your shit. You don't want that. And that's why IP Vanish has you covered. They have secure file management as well, so you could backup and encrypt all of your files and your real IP disappears. So you cannot be tracked online. This ensures fast and unrestricted Internet. This is the wave of the future, baby boys. Everyone trying to get your information, everyone's trying to get your. To get your data right now. But you didn't know that.

[Mike Vecchione]

No. What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's right. My hands in your wallet.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm encrypted.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Guess What? You need IPVanish protecting you, right? So right now, just go to IPVanish.com, use the promo code wars. You're going to get 10% off and additional 10 off, I should say, because they already give you crazy discounts.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's about 85% off what they're usually offering over there. So make sure you check them out right now, ipvanish.com and start protecting yourself online.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number four, Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

This is so exciting story number four.

[Alex]

I was recognized on a dating app and the person asked if I could hook them up with my more famous friends.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, this could be Lewis. You didn't do dating apps much, though.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I.

[Big J Okerson]

How long has. How long have you been with your.

[Mike Vecchione]

My chick for 13 years.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That did overlap with his wife for about four years.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just thinking of an AB.

[Mike Vecchione]

Technically, it overlapped my wife for about 11 years.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, that is true. They did.

[Big J Okerson]

Just absurd because, like, apps are important to, like, how long you've been.

[Mike Vecchione]

I agree. I agree. And I will say I've go. I've. I'm very low history with.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is not. JJ was not on apps. I don't think.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay, well, wait.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Did you have a friend in their profile pic? How would they know that they have a famous friend?

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of questions.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah, I have a lot of questions.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because maybe that person was on Saturday night.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes, they were. This makes sense.

[Big J Okerson]

It does. But once again.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, when it's not Brooks, it's always Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If you ever think it's Brooks, it's probably me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Not me. Have had it happen. Meeting people where they're like, could you introduce me to someone else?

[Brooks Whelan]

But never on a date.

[Big J Okerson]

Not straight up. Off a dating app.

[Louis J. Gomez]

App.

[Mike Vecchione]

You can lie about all this stuff.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you do dating apps?

[Brooks Whelan]

A little bit, but I. I had bad stats.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's what I was going to ask. Sarah, did you do the dating apps ever?

[Sarah Tollemache]

No, I. I don't represent well on. I get. When I did them briefly, I would get like 60 year old men. That's who I was pulling in. Men that could date.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can you introduce me to Adrian Apolucci, please?

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, I notice you know Lynn Carplitz. Change your heart guy here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can see.

[Brooks Whelan]

I was on apps.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, I was on Mike.

[Brooks Whelan]

Between relationships.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how they work.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not on them in relations.

[Brooks Whelan]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's the Mike. I feel like with you, with your hairstyle and head shape, you would do well on a mind of work. God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Louis or Mike. It's got to be Louis or Mike.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was trying to make a Minecraft joke. Minecraft. Thank you.

[Sarah Tollemache]

But I think you have a more famous friend. Like, I'm trying to think who would be your famous friend during the dating app time period?

[Brooks Whelan]

Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, no one's asking. Mike. Vicky. Want to hook him up with me?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you know what? I gotta.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, you know what? Can you be with someone who's way fatter than you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Brooks is the only one Here. Who's actually somewhat famous.

[Big J Okerson]

But no, I only. I. But I Do you roll with famous people. My friends are you guys. And then other famous people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm being sincere. I'm like. Yeah, it's. People are like, can you introduce me to that person? And I'm like, they don't even take my call. You know, like.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But no, you wrote on snl.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you were on it, and you know a lot of people, and people know you from that. I can easily see that being.

[Big J Okerson]

This makes.

[Brooks Whelan]

This is Lewis again, diverting. Yeah, I think this is Lewis again, diverting.

[Mike Vecchione]

Lewis it is.

[Big J Okerson]

I haven't. This is not me.

[Mike Vecchione]

I can't.

[Sarah Tollemache]

But we haven't seen a Brook story yet. But look, we haven't had a Brook story yet. And the numbers. Sure, but numbers.

[Mike Vecchione]

But we're eight stories total, and everybody's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There can be two in a row. There's no guarantees on who's.

[Big J Okerson]

I really feel like it's Michael Lewis.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how I feel.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's.

[Big J Okerson]

That's my.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like Brooks is acting right now, and he's a good goddamn actor. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I wish I was this good at acting. I would be working and I wouldn't be on this show.

[Mike Vecchione]

But perhaps your more famous friend was a good actor.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no, I like the show.

[Brooks Whelan]

I think it was Grindr.

[Mike Vecchione]

This could be Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, I'm going Lewis on Ro.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, why do you guys think you could just chime into the show? What is happening?

[Mike Vecchione]

They're playing. Dude. They get.

[Big J Okerson]

I was on. I was on Saturday Night Live. He was on a show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

People watch on Wheel of Fortune. They don't just go like, oh, hey, can I spin the wheel?

[Big J Okerson]

You're totally right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They do.

[Mike Vecchione]

They all yell out. Last seven. They all yell out, absolutely. That was a terrible example to use. Prices. Right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I said Wheel of Fortune.

[Mike Vecchione]

They don't yell out in that. I'm sorry, sucker.

[Big J Okerson]

You're on the. You're on the actual popular show.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, someone's gonna get a lot of points if it's not right.

[Big J Okerson]

Can't wait.

[Mike Vecchione]

Come on. Everyone's in.

[Alex]

Alex Brooks got it right. That was Louis J. Go.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, my God.

[Brooks Whelan]

Oh, my God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I had two in a row. Finally, the elusive two in a row happens.

[Big J Okerson]

I told you. I wish I was that good at acting. I was like, it's not me.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And the. All right. The person that they asked me to introduce them to, Tony fucking Hinchcliffe.

[Sarah Tollemache]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

This bitch. This cunt. I hope she's Watching you cunt.

[Mike Vecchione]

I hope she's Puerto Rico.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How dare you ask me to introduce you to my gayest friend.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'd rather him be grossed up by my than spend one moment with you.

[Big J Okerson]

Have you guys talked to Tony since he's been hated by everybody?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I texted with him.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, I talked to him.

[Big J Okerson]

How's he doing?

[Mike Vecchione]

Fine.

[Big J Okerson]

I was like, I don't think this is really going to affect anything.

[Mike Vecchione]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Brooks Whelan]

Did you text him in Spanish?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, that was that. There wasn't much more to the story.

[Mike Vecchione]

They said, will you introduce me? And you said, no, One of these.

[Brooks Whelan]

Has to be blocked.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Her. I reported her account to Bumble. I said she was sexually harassing me and she was trying to rape children.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Wait, this was Bumble?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was Bumble.

[Mike Vecchione]

When somebody reaches out to you on an app, I have to assume, like, the feeling is like. You're like, this is. Wow. Like someone. Especially when they say, first thing is, I recognized you. You're like, oh, wow. This isn't. This isn't even for a date. This is like a slam dunk. Let's hook up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm getting my dick sucked.

[Mike Vecchione]

And they go. They go, I know who you are. No interest in fucking you, but I would like to fuck your friend. Does have to sting a lot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's a goddamn nightmare.

[Sarah Tollemache]

How did. Okay, how did she know that you were friends with Tony Hinchcliffe?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because I've been on Kill Tony a bunch.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Oh, okay. So this was kind of recent.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was fair.

[Mike Vecchione]

Humiliating.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's legitimately humiliating. Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

That moves the scoreboard. It was probably the worst moment.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Did you introduce them?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can we not relive it more and more? Sarah, she wanted to have sex with.

[Mike Vecchione]

Tony Hinchcliffe and not you.

[Big J Okerson]

One time at a bar, a girl was like, so you do comedy? I was like, yeah. And she's like, can you introduce me to Ben Schwartz? And I was like, oh, no, I don't know him that well. And she was like, well, then what are you up to? I was like, no. Like, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the difference between me and you. I would have been like, all right, let's go. Yeah, let's get out of here, baby.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm actually way better than that guy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I knew you'd come around.

[Mike Vecchione]

A shake up in the points. Alex, what are we looking like here at the halfway point with shake and bacon?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's go.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have Sarah and Mike with three points each.

[Big J Okerson]

How am I some time out? How am I losing? Like, how Could I be losing right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Now Because Lewis got. You got two points and Lewis got three points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex got three points.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I feel like you guys have an alliance.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. All right, never mind. I don't understand this. I don't like this game anymore.

[Brooks Whelan]

It's skank scoring.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry.

[Alex]

I have Sarah and Mike with three points each, Big J with.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You don't gotta yell at us. Jesus Christ. Alex. What the was that about? Super aggressive.

[Alex]

Brooks with six points and Louis J. Gomez with seven points.

[Brooks Whelan]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

We all had four points. You guessed correctly. So you got two points. Lewis fooled the three of us.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, I get it. Now it makes sense.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, just when it starts to make.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sense, just as soon as you got hang of the points guess.

[Mike Vecchione]

Actually, let's do plugs real quick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a great point, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

Send the plugs around the room. Sarah Talamash, what do you want to plug?

[Sarah Tollemache]

I have a new special out on YouTube called Butthole Money.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Please watch. Please watch.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Mr. Whelan, you have a special coming up November 12th on YouTube called Alive in Alaska. So nice special.

[Brooks Whelan]

Just please follow me on social media. Comic Mikeville at comics guy rules.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, this guy, sir, you get.

[Mike Vecchione]

Are they baby jeters? I'm gonna kiss you in the mouth because the man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, they smell great. They're so good. I'm sorry.

[Brooks Whelan]

It's okay. Follow me on social media. I don't have a podcast right now at comic Mike V. And I'm in Toledo November 15th and 16th.

[Mike Vecchione]

Coming home dog.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Very funny, Mikey.

[Mike Vecchione]

Ohio's BigJ comedy.com for all my dates. I'm all over the place. Look for a city near [e-mail] of course. Listen to the bonfire five days a week. Faction talk, SiriusXM with me and the great Robert Kelly and of course the legion of skanks right here on Gas Digital network.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Legendary legion of skanks. Yeah. Subscribe to Gas Digital. If you love the show you the uncensored version every Monday night pre release ad free uncensored gas digital.com use the promo code WAR. It helps out the show. We get a little kickback and it's the best way to enjoy the show. Plus you get a bunch of amazing shows in the gas digital network. Come check me out on the road live. I just added Waterloo, Ontario on November. Hell yeah, dude. November 14th.

[Mike Vecchione]

Shut up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

November 14th. And then I'm gonna be that weekend. I'll be in Toronto November 15th and 16th. I got Dojo of Comedy Morris Plains on December 12th. EMAS, Pennsylvania on December 13th. And then the Legion of Skanks live New Year's Eve. I'm very excited about this. Legion Skanks live at the JoJo Comedy, Morris Plains, New Jersey. Two shows, 8pm Stand up show, all three of us, plus special guests, and then a live podcast that we're going to be counting down the new year. Yeah. We're gonna do a champagne toast at midnight. And guys, I haven't drank in months. I'm drinking on New Year's Eve, folks.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's getting funky. We're getting wild.

[Mike Vecchione]

Look out for new incident incident to come.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We are.

[Mike Vecchione]

We are now at the halfway point of the show. Are you guys having a good time? There's four having a good time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Come on, folks.

[Mike Vecchione]

There's four more stories.

[Brooks Whelan]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Are going to be right off. And some people who are behind might think that it's like I'm falling too far behind. I can't catch up. There's no way to get back in this game. But all that changes when I inform you that the next four stories will be double points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The story, the story warrior audience wants, and the story warriors give people love.

[Mike Vecchione]

Double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Fascinating how you drop the double points.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I know it sounded like you were making it up.

[Big J Okerson]

It was really good.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, no, no. I don't make that up at all. It's a. It's a very hard line rule we made on the show to spark things up for the final four questions or final four stories. My apologies.

[Big J Okerson]

What a twist.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Have you guys ever gone four points.

[Mike Vecchione]

When you guys would get one point for every person you fooled? Now you'll get double points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes. Seem.

[Big J Okerson]

Seems to be like a thing. You've some sort of shared idea that it's exciting that it doesn't go.

[Mike Vecchione]

It doesn't go. It doesn't go just one direction. Also, keep in mind now, if you guess the right person before, you would get two points. But now double.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

The people have spoken, Mr. Whelan, and they love double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Crazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We wouldn't. We wouldn't do the double points if they didn't love it and want it so much.

[Big J Okerson]

I am. I'm part of it now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Alex. Story number five.

[Big J Okerson]

It's exciting.

[Alex]

Story number five. I went to see a movie on a first date and inhaled a piece of popcorn. I was coughing the entire film.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This sounds like just a nice, sweet old Sarah Tolleman.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's what I was saying.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's a nice girl. This is something that. It embarrassed her. She couldn't get it out of her head. This is a moment in her life that has affected her, and for anybody else, it was just not even a thing that would register.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I. None of us would. This isn't a top 100.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bad date.

[Sarah Tollemache]

No, I. See. I just. I don't even like popcorn.

[Mike Vecchione]

Well, not after this crazy day.

[Brooks Whelan]

You don't like to eat it, but you love to snort it. Oh, my God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I would also hate popcorn if I had a story like this.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right?

[Mike Vecchione]

Ruined.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It sounds like a nightmare.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It was a long film.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, it's definitely Sarah. I can't even. Yeah, she's not even really denying it. Her. Her face has just turned into, like. Yes, guys, just. Just vote for me. It's obviously me, but it's also.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't think Lewis would write this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay's just trying to make the round a little longer. And I appreciate this, Jay. We all know it's Sarah, but. Go ahead, Jay. Do whatever you're doing.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm gonna eventually get to Sarah. I like to explain that. Mike Vecchion. Any one of us is possible to inhale popcorn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's true.

[Mike Vecchione]

But this is Sarah, God damn it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

By the way, if this is Vecchion, he just played us for fools.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, we are all suckers.

[Brooks Whelan]

This has got to be Sarah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It must be.

[Big J Okerson]

It's just too nice. Yeah, it's really sweet. You know what?

[Brooks Whelan]

Jake does love movies.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Having a moment like this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If I inhaled popcorn I couldn't get out of my throat, it would. Within 15 minutes, I would be screaming and headbutting the staff at the movie theater.

[Mike Vecchione]

We'd have heard of the story. It'll be. It'll be the night of the great shutdown of the Kaufman Astoria Studios.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, if you ever catch me with the hiccups, Just realized I'm a minute away from punching somebody in the face. There's nothing that annoys me more than the hiccups. And if I can't get rid of them, you'll see. I'll walk away from everyone. I get mad and I search to hold my breath and. And hum Yankee Doodle Dandy. It's a nightmare. It's hell. Everyone's got their.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everybody's locked in. Alex. Break their hearts.

[Alex]

That was Big J.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, my God.

[Brooks Whelan]

No way, dude. That was my instinct.

[Mike Vecchione]

My instinct.

[Brooks Whelan]

Instinct was.

[Mike Vecchione]

Jay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it. This horseshit story. Jay, you have nothing to bring to the table except this horseshit story.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, I got something to bring a table. There's about to be a big shift on that scoreboard. Thank you. Thanks in part to the points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

J. J, please tell us. Tell us this intriguing tale you're.

[Mike Vecchione]

After high school, I took a girl. I asked a girl from the school band on a date. She was an oboe player. She was cute, though. She ended up being. She was like a wild. Except for sex. It was interesting. But on our first date, wanted to go see a movie. Her suggestion, a walk in the clouds with. It's just some.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's a cancer movie.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's a real. No, I don't even think. I think it's a cancer. Is there cancer involved?

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yes, I. There was a time period where there was a lot of cancer movies.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't remember the movie that well because there was a Robin Williams one early on, I breathed in a piece of popcorn and the entire. I left that movie seven times going out to try to stop coughing. And I couldn't get a grip for however many excruciating moments that shitty movie was.

[Big J Okerson]

What I'm learning through all this is you are Big J, the bitch of this group because Sarah's buying motorcycles for people and you're coughing through movies. And we are so fit. We're so misogynistic that we're like, must be a lady. It was such a chopper.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sarah with a piece of popcorn in her throat and her trying to be polite the whole time. But is that. It was Big J, who looks like a goddamn biker.

[Mike Vecchione]

I was trying to impress this girl, and I didn't keep. Exactly. I was a biker. And I'm sitting there going. And she has to see me doing this stuff. I go, no, no, I'm totally fine. You know, I'm gonna go see if I can get it out in the bathroom. And I'd go. And I couldn't. It was just. It was the shell of a colonel just lived back there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I'm pissed.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, it was a nightmare.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I am pissed. Where are these points at right now?

[Big J Okerson]

I am not a sweet story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was really sweet.

[Brooks Whelan]

Sarah. That's a double insult. We all thought a piece of popcorn could ruin your entire day, right?

[Sarah Tollemache]

But you don't know that I would also just stay in the movie. Do you know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't even let a popcorn kernel. I wouldn't confront it, is what I understand. I wouldn't confront it because I'm sorry.

[Mike Vecchione]

I ruined that movie for you. Here's a motorcycle. I bought you a motorcycle to make up for ruining a walk in the clouds.

[Alex]

Alex, on the scoreboard, I have Sarah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And Mike with eight.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I didn't. I didn't even guess. I didn't get any point. Why am I upset? I'm upset. I'm upset.

[Alex]

I have Sarah and Mike with three points each, Brooks with six points, Lewis with seven points, and Big J with 12 points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow, double points. Really help Jay out there. But look, it's still anybody's game. There's three stories left.

[Mike Vecchione]

Absolutely.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It. It turns around very quick at this.

[Big J Okerson]

Point because of double points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's fun. We're double points. It's fun. Double points. Alex.

[Alex]

Story number six. I refused to stay over at a dates house because they had a pet snake.

[Brooks Whelan]

All right, this could be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's fair.

[Mike Vecchione]

I would say. I would say this was Vecchion, but he grew up around. He grew up in a lizardy snake take place in Florida.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah, Right.

[Big J Okerson]

This is fair though.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. It wouldn't wig him out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can see snakes wigging Jay out.

[Mike Vecchione]

100.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

I left the girl's house quickly when she said, I want to, but first let my pet rat crawl on you. And I left. I left.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Wow. Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

A pet rat.

[Mike Vecchione]

Pet rat. I left.

[Big J Okerson]

She wanted to crawl.

[Mike Vecchione]

She wouldn't have some weird, like, Tori Amos sesh. I don't know. Whatever it was, I wasn't it.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I do not. With snakes. I get this one.

[Mike Vecchione]

And the girl I lost my virginity to had a iguana. I hate it also. And she make it crawl on me. I don't know why I always had to let someone's exotic pet crawl on me to. How about like, me? For me, how many women were like.

[Big J Okerson]

Let let an animal crawl on?

[Mike Vecchione]

2 that I can think of.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's like you're dating the pet detective.

[Mike Vecchione]

That was my fault for dating a pet detective.

[Brooks Whelan]

I think Lewis would embrace this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, that's where I got the name. The Puerto Rican rattlesnake.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, that's him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

He's like, can I sleep with it? Like, Alice Cooper just wants to hang with it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would do a sexy dance like Britney Spears.

[Mike Vecchione]

I feel like Mike would fucking bail on a thing again. This could be a simple girl thing, but I don't know.

[Sarah Tollemache]

But I don't picture you even, like, finding out somebody has a pet snake. Like, I feel like you could weed that out pretty fast, Mike.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, unless someone's super stoked on letting you know about their pets.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right? They don't keep that quiet. Has Brooks had a story wearing it on the day?

[Big J Okerson]

I haven't had a story yet, no. But I agree with this story.

[Mike Vecchione]

You agree that you agree.

[Sarah Tollemache]

You share this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know what I'm just going with the numbers here. I'm just. At this point, do what you want. It's gotta land on Brooks at one point.

[Brooks Whelan]

If you want, I'm going Sarah or Sarah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Right.

[Mike Vecchione]

I feel Sarah on this one.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Well, it's like, how often do you meet a female pet snake owner?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Do you know what I mean?

[Mike Vecchione]

My two weird, exotic pets. Things was girls that had.

[Sarah Tollemache]

That might be misogyny on my part.

[Mike Vecchione]

That might be misogyny, because I'm telling you, almost every strange pet owner I've known has been some fucking goofy Grateful Dead fan chick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay, that's a reflection on you.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I think I.

[Mike Vecchione]

Look what you.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, I think Sarah's right. Dudes own pet snakes and it isn't out. So.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, all right, I'm going Brooks.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I'm gonna.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think Brooks is trying to. Brooks is trying to push it away from himself.

[Mike Vecchione]

It could be Brooks. He is pushing it away.

[Big J Okerson]

I would never push away from.

[Mike Vecchione]

Michael.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you got the right one there, Mike.

[Brooks Whelan]

Come on, Brooks. Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I did this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

This is a go ahead.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everyone's answers are locked in. Alex.

[Alex]

That was Brooks.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Wow. A female pet snake owner.

[Big J Okerson]

I did.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I got stoned at this girl's house. We were playing Red Dead Redemption, and then we went to go into her room.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's not a hang with a chick game.

[Big J Okerson]

It was. It's a hang with a snake chick game. So we were chilling, playing Red Dead Redemption. Just like, kind of taking baths, like as a character.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then we went into a room.

[Big J Okerson]

And had a sn. She had a snake in there. Did not know she had a snake.

[Sarah Tollemache]

They will. They will get out of their cage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, no, she also. Just leave it loose. She goes, I leave it loose.

[Big J Okerson]

She said, it's fine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The lights were out. You were like, oh, yeah, no, suck it more.

[Mike Vecchione]

God. You got the longest, sharpest tooth.

[Big J Okerson]

I got out of there. I also. This is real. I killed a snake at a party on an app one time.

[Mike Vecchione]

Nice.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm really afraid of snakes. They're my biggest fear in the whole world.

[Mike Vecchione]

But you killed one, which is pretty badass, dude. Bare handed.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. So what happened? I was sitting on the couch and my roommate. Wasn't our party at all. They had a pet snake, little boa. He thought it would be funny if he put it around my neck while I was sitting there just having a beer. And so he just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You murdered his pet.

[Sarah Tollemache]

His child deserved.

[Mike Vecchione]

His child well deserved.

[Big J Okerson]

So, no, it wasn't my roommates. My roommate put it around me, thought it'd be funny. I freaked out, genuinely grabbed a snake by its face and threw it against the wall. And it did die.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah, because.

[Big J Okerson]

But, like, I was like. Like, dude, you didn't. You didn't tell me. And then the guy was like, by.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The way, in some cultures, that's like seven or eight generations of bad luck. Like, you are in America.

[Mike Vecchione]

You took care of a problem. You saw a problem, and you handled it.

[Big J Okerson]

The party was like, you killed our pet. And I was like, do I gotta go? Like. And they were like, yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, yeah, you gotta go. That was a weird question. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But I was like, this is a great party. I already bought it. I bought the cup.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, you bought the solo cup.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So I want to stay at $5.

[Mike Vecchione]

They should give you your. They should give you your five back.

[Big J Okerson]

I think so too.

[Mike Vecchione]

Send you on your way. You get your.

[Big J Okerson]

I kept saying, no, you killed our pet. And I'm like, I didn't, like, come here to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's also. You're like, guys, don't say that. That makes. It sounds like I killed a cat or a dog. That's crazy.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's different.

[Mike Vecchione]

My friend. My friend Ed showed us a VHS video of his pet snake, Burmese python. When he was dangling and fucking with it with a rat, it just jumped up and bit his arm and then wrapped around his arm completely. He showed us that and then would do things when we go to his house, like, take that same python and like you said, throw it over your neck while you're sitting down. You're like, buddy, I don't get why this is funny.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's really scary.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is violently dangerous, but it's funny now.

[Sarah Tollemache]

They're bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Hindsight, anyone who owns a pet snake, you're up sincere. You're like, oh, thanks are cool, dude.

[Brooks Whelan]

It's very funny that.

[Big J Okerson]

No, snakes aren't cool.

[Mike Vecchione]

They're not cool.

[Brooks Whelan]

He's right.

[Mike Vecchione]

They're not not cool.

[Brooks Whelan]

It's very funny. They threw a snake on you and then calmly asked you to leave.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah, dude, turn in your cup.

[Big J Okerson]

If somebody says if. If somebody says that's a good snake, all you are saying is, I've never seen it try to kill me. Because that's all snakes want to do. They want to kill you.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Snakes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

You're not wrong.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nobody has, like, a pet cobra, right? Dude, cobra would be sick.

[Mike Vecchione]

Mets. Kurt Metzger said that joke about that. But he watched a documentary about a snake. He goes, snakes are so from hell. There's one breed of snake that is able to jump up and, like, make itself high in the air on its tail because it has to bite your face. That's how from hell they are. A snake figures out how to get to face level hates.

[Big J Okerson]

My joke about snakes are people, like, snakes are just as afraid of people as they are of them. I'm like, snakes never took acid in Joshua Tree and had to climb on a van because they were scared. People were underneath them.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's what the beauty of Jackass. Do you remember? That was Jackass too.

[Big J Okerson]

Bam.

[Mike Vecchione]

Was so much yourself raised snakes. And then they go, oh, we throw a snake into a cage with them. Then they drop the floor out and put him in an actual pit of snake.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's like, did they throw one in the car? Like, he was in the car, and they put one in the car with him.

[Big J Okerson]

That was a. That was a cobra.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was hilarious.

[Big J Okerson]

Three.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it. They were so funny. They threw a venomous cobra into a car with him.

[Big J Okerson]

Jackass is the only funny thing that's.

[Mike Vecchione]

And they go. I guess, by the way they say this. They go, bam. Margera in his Philly accent. They go. They're. They're laughing at him while he's. They're staring at. He goes. He goes. He goes, what is it, dude? Tell us what is. He goes, it's Cobra. It's Cobra. Are you scared? He goes, ye.

[Big J Okerson]

Jackass is the best. Jackass. Tom Green.

[Mike Vecchione]

I always say Jackass. Particularly Jackass 2 and 3. Even one, I guess, when it came out. But, like, 2 and 3 were the most satisfying. I bought a ticket, I walked into a theater, and I walked out. I go, that was everything I wanted it to be, except an hour longer.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so good. I. Jackass 4 was the first movie I saw post Covid sobbed because I was like, we're out of COVID and I'm seeing Jackass in a theater. Like, that movie brought me to tears because it felt like we did it. It just was really nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Beautiful. It was beautiful.

[Big J Okerson]

It was beautiful. It was like a mission accomplished.

[Mike Vecchione]

It is funny coming out of COVID the things that made you emotional.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

I remember ordering that first night, the first live sporting event was going to be a Fight island ufc. And from the opening prelims of just like, some guy versus your dad, and it was like. And I was still. I'm like, we're back, man. Like, we're here. We're trying. We need our entertainment. These two guys trained.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I was literally like, that's Pontius back on the big Screen. That's where he belongs.

[Mike Vecchione]

Preston Lacy. Preston Lacy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not video on demand, man. Alex, what are our scores at?

[Brooks Whelan]

Yes.

[Alex]

All right. On the scoreboard.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yes.

[Alex]

Yes, I have a mic, but still low.

[Brooks Whelan]

Still in the basement, but I have.

[Alex]

Mike and Sarah with seven points each, Brooks with eight points, Lewis with 11 points, and Big J with 12.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Coming for your ass, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

It's still anybody's game.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's still anybody's.

[Sarah Tollemache]

When is it not anybody's game?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's always people's games.

[Mike Vecchione]

Sometimes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right now, it's really anybody's game.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay, but tell them what could happen if they're not in the game by the end. They can play. What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Please stop trying to make this catch on.

[Mike Vecchione]

Go on.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He wants everyone to be like, they could play Giant Killer.

[Mike Vecchione]

Good term. They could play Giant Killer. Hurt somebody from winning. He was gonna win. Giant Killer is a good term.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I hate that term.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, it's a. It's a long term.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know why you're trying.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's a well known lawn sports term.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nobody ever talks about it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Really? Lewis thinks that it's a term I made up, but it's a long term. I don't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't think you made it up. I just feel like it's not applicable.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, it totally is. Because if you are out of it, mathematically, you can't really just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can't. You can't.

[Mike Vecchione]

You play Giant.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You can't.

[Mike Vecchione]

How?

[Louis J. Gomez]

How, Jay?

[Mike Vecchione]

I'll tell you why. Because it's been.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not why, how.

[Mike Vecchione]

Because they've been so far behind, but they. They fooled everybody on the last round, and the score doesn't shift. So if nothing happens here, Lewis, if you don't get it right because someone who's in last place took all the points, it stays right where it is. I win. That's how Giant Killer.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay. All right, Jay. We got to take a moment and thank my bookie for supporting today's show. My bookie, look, if you like sports, you're gonna love sports. If you've got a little skin in the game. My bookie has a great interface, easy to gamble on, all the sports you love. Football season is here. Playoff season is here. Who knows what's happening there? I think you do.

[Mike Vecchione]

The holidays are here. But those kids presents that you can get them more presents if you win, if you cover the spread, say the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Kids present, you're going to win. You're going to get the whole family their dream holiday vacation. It's guaranteed. You know better than anyone who's going to win these games and think about how often you're right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Your wife's going to be in your ear the whole time. Stop. We need this money for the kids school. And you go. We can send them to school for the next hundred years if this hits.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. They don't need school if this hits.

[Mike Vecchione]

No one needs school. We'll homeschool them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Brilliant, brilliant idea. All you got to do right now is go and check out my bookie because they have the best lines, the best deals, everything you need to gamble, and all the sports that you love. My bookie keeps you coming back from war with tons of exclusive lines, free bets, and access to VIP contests. All you got to do right now to get in on the action is use the promo code wars and claim a bonus of up to $1,000 on your first deposit. That is promo code WARS with a Z to start the football season off playing with house money, Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hell, yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, where were we? All right, let's go to story number seven, Alex.

[Alex]

Story number seven. I lost my virginity to Rock the Cradle of Love by Billy Idol.

[Brooks Whelan]

Dude, this is Jay.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, dude, I. Everything in my father's house to that video, though, but never with a. With a person. This has got it. This is.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's also. I feel like a lot of guys probably just masturbated to that song.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know this song.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay, I'm going by age on this.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah. When did that song come out?

[Big J Okerson]

How's the song go? What's this? What's the Cradle of Love?

[Mike Vecchione]

Right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wait, check back. He owns Dick. Is he getting hard?

[Mike Vecchione]

Her name was Cassandra.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I lost my virginity to Cemetery Gates by Pantera.

[Big J Okerson]

That's dark.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Repeat over and over again for like, three hours as we. As we had condom sex and neither of us could come.

[Mike Vecchione]

I lost. I lost mine To Sadness Part 1 by Enigma, amongst other things. But that was. That was the one that stuck out.

[Big J Okerson]

I lost my virginity. I was having. I had sex to the two. No Code. You doing White Lotus.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did you. You've never. A pan flu.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can do. I do the. I can do my White Lotus impression. That's good Lotus.

[Big J Okerson]

That's good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

White Lotus, folks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I lost my virginity to Pearl Jam's no Code. It starts with this song called Sometimes Really Soft. Soft. Sometimes. I think it's, like, a really great song you're gonna play while you have sex. And then it goes into this song called Hail, Hail and, like, right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Flip her over. I thought.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we were just, like, making Out. And it's like hell. Like, I was just like, I'm so sorry. Like, I'm not ready for hail.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's when you start hitting her, dude.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

He goes. You're gonna go through a roller coaster of emotions. You're gonna think you should leave. Then you can't leave. Then you want to leave. Then you don't want to leave.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What song did you lose your virginity? Sarah?

[Big J Okerson]

She goes. Crazy rock of just awkward.

[Mike Vecchione]

The sounds of two virgins losing their virginity.

[Brooks Whelan]

What album is that? Awkward Silent. Is that Paul Simon?

[Sarah Tollemache]

Just. Just like my head on the bathroom floor. Just a light tile.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a depressing veone.

[Big J Okerson]

You tell us now.

[Brooks Whelan]

Summer Win by Frank Sinatra.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You've been thinking of that for the past four.

[Mike Vecchione]

I swear to God.

[Brooks Whelan]

Summer Win, Win by Frank Sinatra. Oh.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know. Mike Lawson's virginity to Italian dinner songs.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you got it.

[Mike Vecchione]

What's the matter? Hey, what do you gotta do? Oh, what you do to think when.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie. That's a morning.

[Big J Okerson]

I think Big J's pretty good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't think this is Big J. I know. I think I've heard Big J talking about him losing his virginity to that song that he said before. There's a lot of. But it could be Sarah, too. Sarah. Sarah wasn't. Sarah wasn't banged into unconsciousness on a bathroom.

[Brooks Whelan]

Innocent.

[Sarah Tollemache]

That.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How old are you, Sarah?

[Sarah Tollemache]

I'm 46.

[Louis J. Gomez]

46. I mean, that makes sense. It's not that crazy.

[Mike Vecchione]

It doesn't, by the way.

[Big J Okerson]

I would have been in middle school.

[Mike Vecchione]

By the way, it didn't have to be a new song.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I know, I know. It had to have come up before that.

[Sarah Tollemache]

What if I was, like, lost my virginity to, like, a song that was. Now I can't even think.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tyler.

[Big J Okerson]

The creator's new album.

[Mike Vecchione]

Virginia. Yeah, Virginia. Chris Stapleton singing the national anthem at the super bowl two years ago.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it. If it's Big J, I'm gonna be pissed. I'm going, Mike.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everyone's answers are locked in.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like it's got to be Big J. I think it is.

[Alex]

Alex, that was Mike. Becky.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes, Mike. Mike's cleaning up with some points, though.

[Big J Okerson]

Good job, Mike.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

The Frank Sinatra song, you ass.

[Brooks Whelan]

It was a decoy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it wasn't.

[Brooks Whelan]

It was Dean Martin's Greatest hits.

[Mike Vecchione]

Damn it.

[Brooks Whelan]

Jay was right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Rock the cradle of love.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, nice. Bring us back to that night, Mike. Well, can you guys play the song in the background while he tells us? Soarian remedies. This is.

[Mike Vecchione]

You burn like my ball on fire.

[Brooks Whelan]

My friend was having a party. His parents.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you banged him, you homo.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hey, I don't know how to thank you for this great party.

[Brooks Whelan]

He was having a party. His friends, his. His parents left town.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's like, you want to kill this snake?

[Brooks Whelan]

He's got to let this snake crawl on you. No. And he was like, I just brought a girl who liked me into a room.

[Mike Vecchione]

And.

[Brooks Whelan]

And we started. He put. He. My friend put the music on. He started blasting.

[Big J Okerson]

He's like, have fun.

[Brooks Whelan]

And he left the room.

[Mike Vecchione]

Have fun, dude. This works for me every time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Disco Stew is out.

[Brooks Whelan]

And that was it.

[Mike Vecchione]

You guys enjoy your evening. I'm out. And they did a spin.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you lost your virginity. That was that. It was great.

[Brooks Whelan]

It was great. But then I was so paranoid. I checked the comments. I put water in the condom, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What do you mean? Wait, what?

[Brooks Whelan]

I took the condom off and put water.

[Sarah Tollemache]

So she wouldn't put.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So she wouldn't take it and try to put it. Insert it in herself.

[Brooks Whelan]

Not the NBA.

[Mike Vecchione]

Make sure it was. Yeah, she was. I'm going to trap this guy.

[Big J Okerson]

To make sure there wasn't like holes in it.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, to make sure it went. Cuz the first time I ever used a condom.

[Mike Vecchione]

So I was.

[Big J Okerson]

So you think she.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She would poke holes in it? No, no, no, no. My mom. My mom told me. My mom told me to always use your own condoms because girls will poke holes in them.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Oh, I do it all the time. I. At the store, I'm just poking holes.

[Mike Vecchione]

Hypodermic needles. Yeah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

They're like, can you stop?

[Brooks Whelan]

You do have a child, Sarah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I do, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did you see that lady again, Mike?

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, a couple more times.

[Mike Vecchione]

Was that your song?

[Brooks Whelan]

Rock the Cradle?

[Mike Vecchione]

Was that when she knew it was time to fucking?

[Brooks Whelan]

I would just go like this.

[Mike Vecchione]

He go, yeah, you go. He goes, oh, you know what? I just picked up the Panty Dropper. That's Steve Stevens. That's his longtime guitarist.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She turned on White Wedding. You're like, this is too much.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah, it's too much commitment.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm only to his Billy Idol, cyberpunk era.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are our points at? This is. I mean, who knows at this point?

[Alex]

Okay, on the scoreboard I have Sarah with seven points, Brooks with eight points, Mike with 11 points.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Anybody's game.

[Alex]

Lewis with 15 points and Big J with 16.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The Story warriors are pulling away with this. Truthfully, anybody's game. Still, one of you guys can pull it out, right? Now. But this book might stay with us.

[Mike Vecchione]

The book aims to inspire a new movement within the black community to reclaim their agency and redefine, define their political identity.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Our final story. I like that we did it together.

[Alex]

Story number eight. I went on a date with a comedy club owner's relative. Then did a spot at the club afterwards where my date heckled me.

[Mike Vecchione]

I've done this. I've done this, Dave.

[Louis J. Gomez]

With a comedy. I've dated a few comedy club owners, relatives, daughters and nieces and suches right in the club.

[Mike Vecchione]

Can we see it on the screen? I'd like to pick it apart with.

[Brooks Whelan]

A comedy club owner's family owner.

[Big J Okerson]

Definitely. Like a. A small club. Like, is it in New York? I don't know. This could be Philly. Could be this. I don't know.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm just like family owned.

[Brooks Whelan]

For sure.

[Mike Vecchione]

I did have sex with Gnome. The owner of the Comedy Store. Yeah.

[Sarah Tollemache]

That's how you got in when his.

[Mike Vecchione]

Father owned the club.

[Big J Okerson]

This is when I. I did bang Pauly Shore and he. I forgot about that. I forgot.

[Mike Vecchione]

He died shortly thereafter.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

And then the date. Heckled. That sounds like a jerk off move of a guy. Possibly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, you think so?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. Girls heckle girls. Except for these. Oh, this guy's not even here anymore. Heckled. Then he left. He heckled in bail.

[Mike Vecchione]

Heckled right out of the goddamn place.

[Sarah Tollemache]

What a son of a. I didn't even notice him. Lean. Moving.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The.

[Big J Okerson]

The ego involved with this, like makes me feel like it's Lewis. Because I'm just saying.

[Mike Vecchione]

For sure. Agreed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do you remember when I got your cocaine and Cabo look, you're a cool guy.

[Big J Okerson]

You're a cool guy. That was a decade ago. I want to stress that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was true.

[Mike Vecchione]

Just really need to make that he's running for office.

[Big J Okerson]

Decade ago.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. No, I. It was. It was a closer. My first specials. A story about going up and down getting free samples of cocaine in Cabo. And they were different colors. And some of those samples were for Brooks Whelan. I did not say that in the special. But that is 100% the truth in the stories.

[Big J Okerson]

What a really.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And Al Jackson Jackson party man.

[Mike Vecchione]

Al Jackson Brooks. We own Luis Chick oh man's party pro. Everybody.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We got wild in Cabo.

[Big J Okerson]

A 38 year old man now is a 28 year old little guy then. But I'm just saying this takes confidence. You have a lot of confidence to sleep with someone then be like, now I will do comedy here. Like that's kind of an that's the opposite.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Usually you do comedy, then you do and you run. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

But it takes a lot of confidence to sleep with someone and be like. And now watch me perform.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I agree with you with that logic, but that's exactly why it's not me. If I close. Closed the deal, I'm like, I closed the deal. You don't ever need to see me do anything again.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, but it seems like it's. I don't know. I'm figuring it. This is the same night it says you went on a date and then went to the club afterwards.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. This is a cool guy move.

[Mike Vecchione]

This does. This is a cool guy move. And you bring him to the club. This could be Lewis. God damn it. And I want to say, like, I'm trying to think of comedy club owners and who this would be. Is this on the road? Because you don't want to date on the road. Right. Really? I guess you could.

[Big J Okerson]

I. It's one of you two.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But then also Mike.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know who it is.

[Big J Okerson]

Mike's getting a little quiet over here, just being like, yeah, did y'all start.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Outside of the city, or did you start here in Philly? You started in Philly club. You started here. Okay.

[Mike Vecchione]

At a black comedy club. I started, though.

[Big J Okerson]

Mike is saying nothing.

[Mike Vecchione]

He really is gone completely quiet. I don't know if Mike's also the. I don't. Mike's not a big.

[Big J Okerson]

He's not a big shit where he eats. It's a real dumb guy move. I feel like it has to be one of us three.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You two or me are the dumbest.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sarah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Or it's Sarah who just agreed to go on a date with somebody, and then the guy got.

[Brooks Whelan]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

Comfy.

[Brooks Whelan]

That does make sense.

[Big J Okerson]

But who. What guy is gonna heckle? But we don't know. She's buying motorcycles for people.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I don't have the best.

[Mike Vecchione]

She will. She is not conversational and will do anything for anybody.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm. I'm gonna. I'm gonna say Lewis. It just feels like a move that I would do, and I feel like Lewis does moves that I would do sometime.

[Mike Vecchione]

This does feel. I can't think of who.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Owner's family member.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah. Yeah. God damn it. I'm going. Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You guys are fools. You're all fools. You're all fools. And I literally. I think you gave him enough points to maybe pull ahead, but I believe that it's Brooks, and I drew him.

[Mike Vecchione]

I think it. I think. Oh, nice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I drew Brooks.

[Brooks Whelan]

I think it is Brooks.

[Mike Vecchione]

Good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's how much I believe in him.

[Big J Okerson]

We're all in.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everyone's in. Alex.

[Alex]

Holy. You guys, that was Sarah to.

[Mike Vecchione]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thanks, guys. Wow.

[Brooks Whelan]

Wow, Sarah. What deception.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Sarah Tollemache]

It's alcoholism, guys. It's alcoholism.

[Mike Vecchione]

Okay, that's fair. But.

[Sarah Tollemache]

But it's. It was at the last stop. It was Mark Babbitt's son, and he was fine with it, but he goes, I knew it wasn't going to work out for you too. And we didn't have sex. We just went on a date.

[Mike Vecchione]

But then he heckled.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's the crazy.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Well, he got drunk. He got drunk and then it was a one. It was one of those heckles where they think they're helping. He thought he was helping. And then he offered to give Dwight Slade a ride back to his hotel even though he was drunk.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, nice.

[Sarah Tollemache]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

So you didn't hook up with him?

[Sarah Tollemache]

No. Never hooked up with him.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It.

[Sarah Tollemache]

And that date ended. And also, I have to say, he probably wasn't into me either, because I did a really bad move at the date. I. I bought my breast. I brought my best friend with me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wait, you brought your best friend to a date? If for me, I'm going. Sweet threesome.

[Mike Vecchione]

Who wants to. They want to suck my stick together because she's lazy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, I would read this the way wrong way. I'm like, whoa. I'd be texting my friends like, dude, she's such a pig.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, my God. How'd you know that? I wanted to. Your friend too. God, we are so in tune. Is this kismet? Is this what kismet means? That could be a major.

[Brooks Whelan]

That's amazing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't show us. Just tell us that the score is.

[Mike Vecchione]

Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex. Wow.

[Alex]

You guys on the board, I have Brooks with eight points, Mike Vecchione with 11 points, Sarah with 15 points.

[Sarah Tollemache]

I think it's my game.

[Alex]

Lewis with 15 points. Big J with 16.

[Louis J. Gomez]

16.

[Mike Vecchione]

One point. Sarah, I'd like to say hold a clean sweep of that entire round, stopping Lewis from possibly winning from one point, therefore, playing giant killers.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sign it up. Sign it up, boys.

[Mike Vecchione]

Everybody, thank you so much for being here. Thank our entire fucking panel here. Everyone make some noise for Mike Vecchione, Brooks Whelan, Sarah Tolamos. None of them go home as story Warrior stays in house, everybody. Which is good because I have to read this Candace Owens new book. Thank you guys so much for being here. We will catch you guys next time on Story Wars. Until then, everybody, thank you so much.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

That was so fun. Thank you.