015. Vinny Guadagnino, Derek Gaines, & Mike Feeney | Bad Behavior

Summary

Story Warz Episode 015: Vinny Guadagnino, Derek Gaines, & Mike Feeney | Bad Behavior

Introduction

Welcome to Episode 015 of Story Warz, a dynamic game of deceptive storytelling hosted by comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Louis J. Gomez. In this installment titled "Bad Behavior," the hosts welcome special guests Vinny Guadagnino, Derek Gaines, and Mike Feeney. Filmed live at The Stand Comedy Club in New York City, the episode promises a blend of humor, wit, and engaging stories as the panel navigates through tales of mischief and misconduct.

Meet the Guests

• Vinny Guadagnino: Known from the Something Went Wrong podcast and his stint on Jersey Shore, Vinny brings his charismatic personality to the panel.
• Derek Gaines: Featuring from the No Need for Apologies podcast on the GAS Digital Network, Derek adds a unique perspective with his storytelling prowess.
• Mike Feeney: A comedian with a recent special titled A Night at the Comedy Cellar available on YouTube, Mike engages the audience with his candid humor.

Game Rules Overview

At the outset (03:07), Big Jay and Louis explain the rules of Story Warz:

• Submission: Each panelist submits stories on the designated topic—in this episode, "Bad Behavior."
• Deception: When a story is read, if it's your own, you must deceive the other panelists into thinking it's not yours.
• Guessing: The remaining panelists attempt to identify the true author of the story.
• Scoring: Points are awarded both for successfully deceiving others and for correctly guessing the story's origin.

Round 1: Middle School Shenanigans

• Story 1 (05:47): A panelist shares a story about being suspended from middle school for pretending to stab an art teacher with an exacto knife, witnessed through a two-way mirror.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Big Jay (05:47): "Two way mirror?"
  • Derek Gaines (07:03): "You also have stabbings in your family."

Mike Feeney successfully deceives the panel, leading to his story being correctly identified (10:32).

Round 2: Cigarettes and Chaos

• Story 2 (15:39): A tale of stealing a mother's cigarettes and smoking them in the attic, resulting in confrontation and a two-week suspension.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Mike Feeney (15:39): "Clerkenstein suspension."
  • Vinnie Guadagnino (16:10): "My first story is I killed a toddler."

Derek Gaines's story is revealed as the correct author (21:23).

Round 3: Amusement Park Hustle

• Story 3 (23:28): Selling prizes under the table at a neighborhood amusement park and being threatened by the police during a family picnic.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Vinnie Guadagnino (28:15): "I should fuck."
  • Derek Gaines (29:24): "Lewis is an entrepreneur at a young age."

Vinny Guadagnino uncovers Derek Gaines's deceit, awarding him three points (30:33).

Round 4: Digital Deceit

• Story 4 (32:27): Downloading pornography from LimeWire, burning it onto CDs, and selling them.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Mike Feeney (35:00): "I'm canceled."
  • Big Jay (36:24): "Damn, he did get it right."

The story is confirmed as Vinny Guadagnino's, granting him five points (35:49).

Round 5: Schoolyard Brawls

• Story 5 (45:27): Being kicked out of middle school on the first day due to a fight.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Big Jay (53:09): "I got my ass."
  • Mike Feeney (53:14): "Why did you go up and start talking to him?"

Big Jay Oakerson's own story is identified, awarding him two points (54:28).

Round 6: Graffiti Gone Wrong

• Story 6 (55:31): Writing an inappropriate word on the school wall in fourth grade, claiming ignorance and pressure from a friend.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Mike Feeney (60:09): "I have to scrub the word off the wall."
  • Louis J. Gomez (63:30): "I can't wait for the one time."

Louis J. Gomez's story emerges as the correct one, adding four points to his tally (65:34).

Round 7: Frog Folly

• Story 7 (61:35): Pouring bleach on a frog, resulting in its transformation and eventual explosion.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Vinny Guadagnino (66:15): "They didn't believe me."
  • Big Jay (62:22): "You could have done it to your car."

Derek Gaines's story is identified, granting him six points (67:06).

Round 8: Hit and Run Havoc

• Story 8 (68:31): Involvement in a hit and run with a school bus, leading to legal repercussions and family confrontations.

  Notable Quotes:

  • Big Jay (69:34): "I drove and I tried to hit school buses."
  • Derek Gaines (70:49): "I'm committed."

Louis J. Gomez's final story claim concludes the game, securing his position as the episode's winner (75:10).

Final Scores

• Louis J. Gomez: 22 points
• Mike Feeney: 19 points
• Vinnie Guadagnino: 18 points
• Derek Gaines: 14 points
• Big Jay Oakerson: 6 points

Concluding Remarks

The episode wraps up with congratulations to Louis J. Gomez for securing the highest points, claiming the week’s prize: a used copy of Hacks: The Inside Story of the Break Ins and Breakdown that Put Donald Trump in the White House. The hosts express excitement for future episodes and engage in light-hearted banter, ensuring the audience remains entertained until the end.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Mike Feeney (02:04): "I support the death penalty."
• Big Jay Oakerson (07:03): "You also have stabbings in your family."
• Vinnie Guadagnino (12:10): "I got my ass."
• Derek Gaines (29:24): "Lewis is an entrepreneur at a young age."
• Louis J. Gomez (63:30): "I can't wait for the one time."
• Derek Gaines (66:15): "They didn't believe me."
• Big Jay Oakerson (69:34): "I drove and I tried to hit school buses."

Conclusion

Episode 015 of Story Warz masterfully combines humor with engaging storytelling, allowing guests to showcase their deceptive skills while recounting tales of questionable behavior. The competitive yet friendly atmosphere keeps listeners entertained, making it a standout episode in the Story Warz series.

Transcript

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Big J Okerson]

You're listening to the GAS Digital Network. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and Louis J. Goman.

[Mike Feeney]

What's up, everybody? Welcome to Story Wars. Thank you so much for being here. We are your hosts of Story Warriors. I'm Big J. Okerson. That is the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez. Hello. Hi.

[Big J Okerson]

How are you guys tonight? What an amazing looking crowd. This is not our audience. I feel like a lot of these people are specifically here for Vinny. All of the fucking hot chicks are here for Vinnie.

[Mike Feeney]

Once again, anytime we have Vinnie on a show, the hot chicks do roll out.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell yeah, they do.

[Mike Feeney]

And every now and again, one of them actually enjoys the show. Every now and again. Where's our sheet? We don't have any of our sheets here. Production sons of bitches.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, we have sheets. Wow. What a stupid asshole. This is why Kamala lost, folks.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, it's this kind of shit.

[Big J Okerson]

It's. Yeah, dude. Fucking.

[Mike Feeney]

But in Trump's America, Alex, you're still going to have a job.

[Big J Okerson]

That'S the most political we'll ever get on.

[Mike Feeney]

I don't even know. I don't even know if I'm right.

[Big J Okerson]

We are very excited about today's show and about today's guest. Let me introduce our first guest, ladies and gentlemen. He's got a brand new special, A Night at the Comedy cellar, available on YouTube. Clapping up for the one and only Mike Feeney.

[Mike Feeney]

Let him hear it.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on.

[Mike Feeney]

I support the death penalty.

[Big J Okerson]

I support the death penalty.

[Mike Feeney]

Thank you very much for being here, Mike. Our second guest on the panel, everybody. You know him from the Something Went Wrong podcast, but probably you know him from the Jersey Shore. Everybody make some noise right now for Vinnie Guadagnino.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Get crazy, get wild.

[Mike Feeney]

Let's party.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Get loud if you want to have.

[Mike Feeney]

Fun, you look at all the girls. Oh, is he here? Oh, I didn't even look at the.

[Derek Gaines]

Hadn't even noticed.

[Mike Feeney]

I didn't even notice. What up, Vinny? Thank you so much for being here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No problem, daddy.

[Big J Okerson]

And our last guest from the very popular no need for Apologies podcast right here on the GAS Digital Network, clap it up for Derek Gaines.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I said give me.

[Mike Feeney]

Derek. Thank you so much for being here with us.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Absolutely.

[Big J Okerson]

It's going to be a very fun night. And if you guys are. First of all, clap your hands. If you've never been to Story wars before, clap your hands. Most of the people. Good. All right. They have no idea what this is. So this is A podcast, but it's also a game show. Everybody on the panel has submitted a bunch of stories. And at random, our producers are going to pull up a story. It's going to be one of our stories. It is our job to deceive the other people on the panel. We're going to pretend that it is not our story. If it is your story, you're going to pretend it's not your story. It's the other people on the panel's job to guess whose story it is. I'm. I'm describing it good. Shut up. Stop looking at me like that. Dude, I got it. I started freaking out at the end, man. You never explained it in one shot.

[Mike Feeney]

Dude, behind the curtain here, we've had a hard time explaining this very easy. This very, very easy game for months now.

[Big J Okerson]

And Louis, to everybody before, and it was so easy.

[Mike Feeney]

And me and Lewis have a sweaty templed conversation right before. Every time he goes, I think this week I'm gonna try. I got it. And that's what Lewis did. He goes, he goes, I got it this week. I'll do the thing.

[Big J Okerson]

And I went, did I not start off really well?

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, but I watched you. I was watching, like the road just start turning on you. Everybody up here, all five of us have submitted stories on one specific topic. Today's topic is bad behavior. Bad behavior, folks, when the stories will be read one at a time at random when they come up. If it is your story, it is your job to deceive the rest of the panel up here. And if it's not your story, it is your job to try to figure out whose story it is. When you write your answer down on the whiteboard, as soon as you lock it into here, that is your final answer. You cannot change it at that point. It is locked into place.

[Big J Okerson]

Right there is the moment that he started freaking out.

[Mike Feeney]

I saw everybody start doing it. I'm like, they're doing it. It's going to be a fun game. Everybody's going to get it. And by the way, if you guys think you came out here for nothing, Vinny, I know your time is very valuable. I wouldn't pull you away if you weren't playing for something. This week's winner is going to get a used copy of Hacks.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Mike Feeney]

The inside story of the break ins and breakdowns that put Donald Trump in the White House by Donna Brazile. Wow. This memoir and political analysis provide a behind the scenes look at the 2016 US presidential election.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. From deep within the walls of the Story Wars Library.

[Mike Feeney]

Alex, our first story, please. Alex, first story, please. There it is.

[Alex]

Story number one. I got suspended from middle school for pretending to stab my art teacher with an exacto knife when she wasn't looking. My principal saw the whole thing through a two way mirror.

[Big J Okerson]

Two way mirror?

[Mike Feeney]

Two way mirror.

[Big J Okerson]

That sounds like a Derek Gaines fucking type of high school experience.

[Mike Feeney]

Did you go to high school with a fucking two way mirror? They were standing on you like an interrogation room.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I went to Jewish high school. Fuck y'all.

[Mike Feeney]

Ooh, two way mirror might happen there. At high school, pretending to stab an art teacher with an X acto knife is strange. A strange move to do. Wildly dangerous, it seems. It's reckless.

[Big J Okerson]

It was just like. I understand what it was. It was like a stab.

[Mike Feeney]

Course you do, Louis, because this is fucking you.

[Big J Okerson]

That this is a Lewis type of story.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I would go.

[Big J Okerson]

I get the psyche of the kid who would go behind the teacher and.

[Mike Feeney]

Be like, you get the psyche. Every time I hang out with you behind someone's back, you do a thing. And then I have to bite my lip and not laugh at it because they're going to see me laughing at them. Them. This is your game. This is you.

[Big J Okerson]

You think it's Ming.

[Mike Feeney]

I don't think it's not you.

[Derek Gaines]

You also have stabbings in your family.

[Big J Okerson]

I, I. Yeah, my father was stabbed with exactly a knife.

[Mike Feeney]

And you thought it's true and you thought that was hilarious. So why not bring that kind of comedy to the forefront? Yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

You might have done it just for that bit, Just for that joke.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, I feel like Feeny right now is starting to jump in. He's never played the game, but he's very comfortable being alive. I'm looking at his eyes right now. Feeny's a liar. Liar through and through. I know better than anybody else knows him on this panel. He can't be trusted. And the way he just jumped in right now on top of what Jay's saying, I feel like Feeny just showed his ass a little bit. I think it's Mike Feeney. Feeney, was it you?

[Derek Gaines]

No, it wasn't me. But I would love for you to write that down.

[Mike Feeney]

Ooh, that's good play.

[Derek Gaines]

I know who I'm writing down, and it's you.

[Big J Okerson]

Please write me down. Okay?

[Derek Gaines]

Just use what I said against me.

[Big J Okerson]

What a waste. What a waste of a vote.

[Mike Feeney]

I want a waste of also. Agreed. This isn't that big of a deal of something to do genuinely for a kid to think this is not A big deal would make sense to me, but I'm just feeling about like the people I feel like. Vinnie and Derek, I think I know come from very good families that wouldn't deal with this kind of shit or send somebody out in the world that would do something like that. I don't know Mike's background, but I know me and Louis come from people where like, we could have done this for sure. That's why I'm having a hard time over there. I want to say maybe Vinnie, because he's been dead quiet.

[Big J Okerson]

He is nervous.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

You haven't spoken at all.

[Louis J. Gomez]

First of all, I'm trying to figure out why there was a two way mirror in the classroom.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That's a good point.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, if it's you, Vinnie. Now that was a fantastic play. Is that even something they can do? I feel that way.

[Big J Okerson]

Vinny's from Staten island can be a dangerous type of area.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I went to St. Rita Catholic School. We did not. Knives and two way mirrors in Staten Island.

[Mike Feeney]

Derek's twitching over there. Oh, it's gonna be Lewis.

[Derek Gaines]

What about Jay? I can't see.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think Jay ever got suspended in middle school. That's just not. Jay was not a bad boy.

[Mike Feeney]

You're wrong. I was Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay dresses.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yeah, that was a Freudian slip.

[Mike Feeney]

You're not going to call me a just to get me to pretend this isn't my story.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay's not a bad boy. Jay, he dresses like what somebody thinks a bad boy would dress like.

[Mike Feeney]

But not a bad man. I dress like a bad boy.

[Big J Okerson]

You dress like. Like you remember. Like pro wrestlers in the 80s. He'd be like. Jay would be a bad guy.

[Mike Feeney]

I really did. I really should start cutting my shirts. But a Fuko style, wearing fanny packs.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna get the. The voting going just because. Why not? Because I am a story warrior and I, by the way, I have more story wars victories than anybody. El World, you guys should know these are. Look at all my books.

[Derek Gaines]

The history of your own books.

[Mike Feeney]

Can I just give you. I'm always happy to give insight because me and Lewis aren't in cahoots here. I'll let you know that. A lot of times when Lewis. It's him. He starts and goes. I'll get the thing going. Let's get it away from me real quick. This is Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. Stupid move, Jay. You know I'm rooting for you always.

[Mike Feeney]

Why would you root for me and Lewis? Locked in.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. 2 Lou. 3. Louis is the J. Can I get that Stand Hand, please.

[Mike Feeney]

Different, sir.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's see. I mean, if it's Vinnie or Derek, they just cleaned house here. Because I'm guessing Mike Feeney.

[Mike Feeney]

This could be like Feeney. All the answers are locked in, Alex.

[Alex]

That was Mike Feeney.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I should fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

I knew he was a liar.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Okay. Are you cooking with Grease? This is. This is good. This is really good. Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we got a gun now.

[Big J Okerson]

I saw it. I saw it right in this lying ass face. You're not gonna get one past me. Not on story wars feeding.

[Derek Gaines]

Can I explain what happened here too, by the way?

[Big J Okerson]

Please? You have to. That's the whole show.

[Derek Gaines]

Oh, okay. We gotta stretch.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So this was.

[Derek Gaines]

I was in a. I was in a. I went to this middle school and I was there for a couple years. But this art teacher, everybody hated this art teacher. And you were allowed to bring some like friends to school with you. It was a private school there, so they were trying to recruit other kids to come.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Derek Gaines]

So I brought my friend there and in this art class, she was having trouble, I guess, so the principal was hiding. There was like a two way mirror. It was like a. It was like a private school, so it was like expensive. But they had a two way mirror hiding. And when she turned around, I don't know, I thought it would be a fun. Yeah, just a fun middle school thing to be like. Like that kind of a thing. And then here's the worst part of this is that I got confronted. The principal pulled me out and like cornered me in the hallway and was like yelling at me. And I immediately denied it and lied to her face. And then she revealed the two way mirror. I watched the whole thing and I was. I was in seventh grade. I was like freaking out. I didn't know what to do. And I had like a fight or flight moment and just like a fucking scared goat, I passed out. I just fainted. I absolutely. I didn't know what to do. I'm a good boy. I got hot.

[Mike Feeney]

I'm a good boy.

[Derek Gaines]

I panicked. I didn't know. I thought I was going to get like. I thought I was going to get expelled from the school. I was threatening, stabbing a person. But no, it was a two week suspension. And yeah, they were pretty.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you explain that you were like. I was just fucking around, just doing a bit.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

They didn't get the bit.

[Derek Gaines]

The fun stab your teacher bit.

[Big J Okerson]

I completely get the bit. Yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

The worst part is since this wasn't art class, my. My friend who I brought with me, who was my Responsibility. They had. He had paint, and we were like, dipping the paint and just kind of throwing it around the room. And it went on a bunch of people's coats. And my family had to pay for the dry cleaning of all those coats to get.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, it was like a really bad.

[Big J Okerson]

You made the one Asian kid in the class super rich.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So you know I got points though, right? Yeah, we got some points. Let's see our point spread after round and story number one.

[Alex]

Okay, I have Lewis on the board with two points for guessing correctly and Mike Feeney on the board with three points for tricking people.

[Mike Feeney]

Wow. Right? Wow, folks, moving and shaking. Good job, Mike Feeney.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it. I will say that I understand now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I just got the rules of the game.

[Derek Gaines]

If only they were explained clearly at the top.

[Mike Feeney]

God damn it. We me. You don't know how we toil over this before the show. We're like, when everyone's here, let's take them in a quiet place and we'll just really tell them how the game goes and they'll get it. And then we could just do a fasting with the audience and then they'll pick it up and then we just crumble. Every goddamn week.

[Big J Okerson]

We really do freak out.

[Mike Feeney]

We fall to pieces.

[Big J Okerson]

I just caught you taking pictures of your food. Ha ha. What a dork. What a loser. What a loser. Taking pictures of her fucking squid in a comedy club basement. What an asshole.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, Hashtag, bout to crush this calamari.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Mike Feeney]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Mike Feeney]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Mike Feeney]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Alex]

Story number two. When I was 12, my best friend and I stole my mom's cigarettes and smoked them in the attic.

[Mike Feeney]

Everybody.

[Derek Gaines]

I'm going to say right from the top that that feels so, like, not a big deal that I feel like it was Vinny. Like, it's the fact that bad behavior. The fact that bad behavior was the cue, and that's what someone submitted. It can't. It's not you.

[Big J Okerson]

My first story is I killed a toddler.

[Derek Gaines]

Mine's I tried to stab a woman.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So I did grow up in an apartment.

[Mike Feeney]

No.

[Derek Gaines]

No addicts in an apartment.

[Mike Feeney]

Ooh. Oh, and it's the attic. Assuming it is their house. Yeah. Attic means a lot right now. Attic.

[Derek Gaines]

Derek, does your mom smoke?

[Big J Okerson]

J. Jay is.

[Derek Gaines]

He just admitted it.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay's mom smoked.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

My mom did smoke when I was 12. Yeah, she was a smoker at 12.

[Mike Feeney]

My mom smoked cools, but. But never a black guy.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

My grandmother smoked Newports and she was half white.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She fucked a black eye.

[Mike Feeney]

Menthol. Just menthol one day just, like, became a black people's thing. Like Sprite. Just one day just became.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's that minty inhale.

[Big J Okerson]

J. Jay, did you have an attic growing up?

[Mike Feeney]

What? Yeah. No. We lived in the top floor of a duplex with too many people.

[Big J Okerson]

And there was no attic.

[Mike Feeney]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if I buy this. Jay is Jewish. Jewish people do have addicts.

[Mike Feeney]

Well, that's where we do hide. Somebody started rounding us up. I would have made an attic of sorts for sure. It does seem to be the best hiding place. It gives you enough time to write a whole diary.

[Derek Gaines]

I also think it might be Lewis to throw us off the. To throw us off the trail because it's so innocuous.

[Mike Feeney]

Lewis grew up in a house.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I say I didn't have to.

[Derek Gaines]

Grow up in a house.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I grew up in an apartment. We did have an attic. I did not have to steal my mom's cigarettes. I used to at 10, I used to light my mom's cigarettes for her.

[Mike Feeney]

Right, but you stole. Forget about yourself. Yeah, but taking them for yourself is different. Taking the cigarettes for yourself, not lighting them for. But then taking a few.

[Derek Gaines]

And I will say this. Your mom would flip out if she found out you stole her cigarettes in a way that. Because she wanted them, right?

[Mike Feeney]

She wanted them. You got to spend more money on cigarettes.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom was a heroin addict. There was no flipping out. She might have been like, no, I know.

[Mike Feeney]

But in her mind, she was flipping out for sure. In her mind, she was being eloquent about it. She was worried on an acoustic guitar song about how much you've disappointed her as a child. But all you're seeing is like a drool and like a hot spoon hitting her knee.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Like a nice lean, like she laying on her knees.

[Mike Feeney]

Louis, you.

[Derek Gaines]

I'm between Lewis and Vinnie. But now he said the. He said the thing about not having an attic. But I also feel this whole. You could be lying.

[Big J Okerson]

This could be part of the game.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Baby, I'm not as good as you think.

[Derek Gaines]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

It also could be Feeney as well. It could be Feeney again. It could be two in a row.

[Derek Gaines]

Could be.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's a genius at deflecting. So I'm kind of thinking it's Feeny.

[Mike Feeney]

Could be. Where'd you grow up, Feeny?

[Derek Gaines]

Long Island Long.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Addicts. It was more of a crawl stand.

[Derek Gaines]

The land of addicts in an attic. Didn't go up there because they had squirrels. Was very afraid of them.

[Mike Feeney]

But that's where you go to hide when you're doing something bad.

[Derek Gaines]

That's true.

[Mike Feeney]

You're a good boy. You have to hide your bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen, and those squirrels were more afraid of. Actually, they weren't. I could see those girls like, this.

[Derek Gaines]

Guy'S a. Yeah, well, bite your tongue. But, yeah, I do.

[Mike Feeney]

I thought it was Lewis, but now I think it's Feeney, which is a good Lewis move. He does that a lot. Yeah, I tell everybody why it's definitely Louis. And then somehow he mind fucks me into convincing everybody else it's not him.

[Derek Gaines]

It's either Vinnie or Lewis. And I don't know, it could be Derek.

[Big J Okerson]

Derek is just being a silent little.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Over there, just letting y'all play y'all game, man. I appreciate y'all invite. Thank you. Okay, man. Story wars go for y'all.

[Mike Feeney]

Derek, do you have an attic?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Huh?

[Mike Feeney]

Did you have an attic?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I did not have an attic.

[Big J Okerson]

When Derek lies, he does start Fidgeting things.

[Derek Gaines]

I noticed.

[Big J Okerson]

That's one of his tells.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I didn't have an attic. Guys at a basement, but not an attic.

[Mike Feeney]

Not an attic. Where? North Philly?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

No, Northeast.

[Mike Feeney]

Northeast Philly when I was 12.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Northeast.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah. It doesn't seem like an atticy place.

[Big J Okerson]

We gotta get. We gotta get some voting going here.

[Mike Feeney]

I know, I know, I know. I'm going with. God damn. I'm going with Lewis. I'm going with Lewis again. You're a full.

[Big J Okerson]

J.

[Mike Feeney]

You're a fool, J. I think they're doing two.

[Big J Okerson]

They do call me Foolish Jay Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Two feenies in a row.

[Mike Feeney]

It could be two feenies in a row.

[Derek Gaines]

I think. I think it's Lewis and I. Because he's really did a good job.

[Mike Feeney]

You, Feeney, you're acting wonderfully again, but I've already locked in.

[Derek Gaines]

But I want to. I want to. I'm going to go against my gut and say Louis, because. But I think it's going to be Vinnie. I'm going to be pissed.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh. Oh, you son of a. Lewis is.

[Big J Okerson]

In, ladies and gentlemen.

[Mike Feeney]

He's in. Okay.

[Derek Gaines]

You're right.

[Big J Okerson]

I can see it in his goddamn eyes. Vinnie from the Jersey shore. The whore of the shore Vinnie.

[Mike Feeney]

Well, well, sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Mike Feeney]

Let's listen.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Seaside Heights.

[Mike Feeney]

Alex, the answer.

[Alex]

That was Vinnie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it.

[Derek Gaines]

Why didn't I listen to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

My God.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Come on, dog. Come on, dog. I'm getting this little game.

[Derek Gaines]

God damn it.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Come on, dog.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm getting this game.

[Derek Gaines]

I exposed you and I still didn't vote for you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

By the way, you're so right. I didn't have one bad story. I'm such a pussy. I have no. So what was the worst thing I've ever done? What?

[Big J Okerson]

Did you get caught?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I didn't get caught.

[Mike Feeney]

What was your mom's brand?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Marble Marlboro. Mental Lights.

[Mike Feeney]

Nice one.

[Big J Okerson]

Hundreds.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Because that was my grandma's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know. It was your grandmother.

[Mike Feeney]

Was his mother. Oh, my God. All right, that shakes things up for sure.

[Derek Gaines]

Damn.

[Mike Feeney]

With everybody's.

[Derek Gaines]

I'm going with my gut from now on.

[Mike Feeney]

I. I'm a dumb, stupid idiot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

First instinct was so right.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, where are points at?

[Alex]

I have big J with 0 points.

[Mike Feeney]

Just say the people who do have points.

[Alex]

I have Vinnie and Derek with two points each, Mike Feeney with three points, and Lewis with four points.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, Jay, I love calling you a story warrior, but if there is, if we have to choose one story warrior at the table, I think that that sort of belongs to me.

[Mike Feeney]

Do we have to have some sort of a sword fight about it. But like those heavy type swords.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, we should go get. You know how they do like, like fights with like armor. We can do like armored night fights.

[Mike Feeney]

I would do that with you, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

With swords and shields. I'll you up, dude.

[Mike Feeney]

Dude, I will take your arm off with a battle axe. I dream of it.

[Big J Okerson]

Give me the.

[Mike Feeney]

I'm sorry. I'm just upset because I have zero points. Things have been shaken up. You're right, Alex. I do have zero points. If you wouldn't mind, story number three.

[Alex]

Story number three. I sold prizes under the table at my neighborhood amusement park and was threatened with police for stealing the day that my family was there for a picnic.

[Derek Gaines]

I mean, police and stealing. I gotta feel like Derek is a prime suspect. I'm saying the police accusation not, you know, that he would do that.

[Mike Feeney]

But I want to say again, this seems like Louis.

[Derek Gaines]

Louis is an entrepreneur at a young age.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

He does that is entrepreneurial.

[Mike Feeney]

He was working under the table. But here's my issue. It says my family was there for a picnic.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Lewis ain't got no goddamn family. You know, Lou ain't got no goddamn family.

[Mike Feeney]

You were stealing from the carnival. Where's your parents? They were supposed to be here for a picnic.

[Derek Gaines]

Now, what's a neighborhood amusement park near Rockland County?

[Mike Feeney]

Or neighbor. This sounds like carnival to me. Like, which I went to plenty of when I was a kid. It's carnival.

[Big J Okerson]

Ever. Ever.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

There was a Jersey Shore, right?

[Derek Gaines]

It's an amusement park.

[Big J Okerson]

The neighborhood amusement park.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, who would use that vernacular?

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah. Instead of carnival. That's way more universal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like that's Jay. I feel like Jay would say that.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, was this rewritten or did somebody say.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is it verbatim?

[Derek Gaines]

It's a great question.

[Alex]

Family details were changed, but the term neighborhood amusement park was sent to me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, okay. I don't think it's Derek family.

[Big J Okerson]

The family changed. So it must have been a specific sibling or something. So they change it to make it not that obvious.

[Derek Gaines]

I would have said an amusement. I'm Six Flags is the first thing I think of.

[Mike Feeney]

That's. No, no one calls that the neighborhood amusement park.

[Derek Gaines]

If you want it to not be. If you live in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You don't go to Six Flags.

[Big J Okerson]

If you live in Jackson, New Jersey.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yes, I guess that's the neighborhood.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know what other reason you go into.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, we got great views. Busch Gardens is right out back. Non stop screaming into the wee hours.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody lives in Jackson, New Jersey.

[Mike Feeney]

Feeny It's a wawa at a truck stop.

[Big J Okerson]

The Jackson Township Road Amusement Park.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I think Vinnie did it to throw us off.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, no.

[Mike Feeney]

Carnival.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's no parks.

[Mike Feeney]

There were carnivals, but there were carnivals in Staten island for sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Once a. Once a year, one comes to the mall.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Came to the neighborhood, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. Derek loves his family.

[Derek Gaines]

He does.

[Big J Okerson]

His family would go to picnics. He would steal.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

What? Wait, what?

[Big J Okerson]

You started off so good.

[Mike Feeney]

Derek was a good boy.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I was a good boy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. But. All right, so this. All this was. Was I sold prizes under the table at my neighborhood. So he just had things, like his own things that he was selling. That's a hustling. I don't think that's a bad thing. Really. That's not that bad of a thing. And then he was. Yeah, he was threatened by the police for stealing.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

What was he selling? He was selling.

[Big J Okerson]

I would have been saying he's trying to throw us off. I know which. I know the game. Complain.

[Mike Feeney]

Louis, that was an eloquent speech, but I've never thought this was you more than right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm looking into this, like, the quotations, right? We're looking, like, into specific details because.

[Mike Feeney]

The person's saying, like, they don't think they're stealing. But they said I was stealing.

[Big J Okerson]

It wasn't stealing. But the police said they were stealing.

[Derek Gaines]

Also, by the way, Lewis family. It could have just been his sister. And that's. That's family. With my family, it doesn't have to be a full family.

[Big J Okerson]

She's my sister.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Oh, with a. Yeah.

[Mike Feeney]

I've been friends with Lewis for a long time, so I've seen him say things like, she left me because she thought I was cheating.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

That's enough for me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I think this is. This is. I think this is Jay. He's doing bits now. Like he knows this shit.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys keep on guessing me. You keep on wasting your guesses. That's fine.

[Derek Gaines]

It has to be right eventually.

[Mike Feeney]

I have to be right. I've said Louis all three times. Because I'm so. I'm telling you, I'm shell shocked. I'm sure.

[Derek Gaines]

Quiet about it too, though. I just feel like he would also.

[Big J Okerson]

Like to lead the charge a lot when it's him. This could easily be him.

[Mike Feeney]

But I think I would never steal like that. I'd be terrified. I was.

[Big J Okerson]

This is not stealing. This is not what he was selling. Prices.

[Mike Feeney]

You think it's not stealing? Piece of.

[Big J Okerson]

My vote is Derek, and I think I'm right. I think the third time in a row I'm right. I'm looking right through these people. Looking right through these.

[Derek Gaines]

Oh, it does look like Derek now, though.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I sweat all the time. I sweat all the time. I sweat off my nose all the time, y'all. It's hot in here.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, all the answers are in.

[Alex]

Holy. You guys. That was Derek game.

[Big J Okerson]

You cannot fool me. Wow.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Thank you, guys. Ah, I got points on the board.

[Big J Okerson]

Just got a lot more points, cuz. You guys just. Just follow me at this point, folks.

[Mike Feeney]

Yo, I am getting Shel.

[Derek Gaines]

Jake keeps making such a great case against you.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Jay has voted me every story so far.

[Mike Feeney]

Every time. I'm convinced it's definitely Louis because it's bad behavior.

[Big J Okerson]

You think badly of me?

[Mike Feeney]

Yes. That must be what. I didn't even put it together.

[Big J Okerson]

You could see me doing all of this bad behavior. So, Derek, what was this? What were you selling? What was it?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

The prizes at the amusement park. So therefore, I didn't feel like ringing the bell no more. And everybody was playing and losing. So people started sliding me twenties just to give them the monkey or to give him the Tweety Bird. And after a while, it's turning into a fucking cash business, nigga. I was moving. I'm talking about thousands of dollars. I was Nino Brown at that amusement park. Cause I would do it. And then they had banks that kept growing. So all you needed to have by the end of the day was 200. So anything over 200 I took. So that was one game. And it was another game that had a different bank. And you had to hide behind the cameras. I'm telling you, I was. I was. Oh, I was moving.

[Mike Feeney]

I asked you a question, Derek. Did they catch you? Because at one point you had all the money fanned out and were dancing like this behind.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I wasn't that obvious. But everybody around the park kept walking around with these mean ass prizes that you ain't supposed to win, guy. And then I got. Somebody snitched on me. And then. Can we speak to you? And then you either give us all the money or we call the cops.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you give them all of it or did you get some of it?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I had 65 left.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Because the whole summer I had racked up at least 15, 1600. I was doing all right. And then that day was the church picnic, right? So as they was escorting me out the park, my mama was walking up at the same time. So I had to do this whole. Oh, you ain't gonna believe this shit they talking About? I was selling prizes. I'm like, what are you talking about? Stealing? She was like, you were stealing? I was like, it wasn't stealing. I mean, she was like, no wonder you didn't ask me for sneaker money all summer. And I was like, yeah, Mom, I was trying to do my own thing. And that was the first and last time I tried to be a drug dealer. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

The great Derek Gaines. Great story. Alex, where are our points at? Well, how many points does Jay have?

[Alex]

Well, I wasn't going to say, but Big J has zero points. I have feels bad, Vinny.

[Mike Feeney]

I've watched this happen to other people and I'm on the pep talk every time I go, don't get down. This game's not over yet. Like, there's still so much. You'll see. It's. It's just still anyone's game. Don't get down on yourself. But I want to leave, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, it's actually genuinely anyone's game at this point.

[Mike Feeney]

I know.

[Alex]

Vinnie has two points, Mike Feeney has three points, Derek has five points, and Lewis has six points.

[Mike Feeney]

W.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, Jay. Let's take a quick moment and talk about our brand new sponsor, which is Turtle Beach. Guys, put your hands together for Turtle beach, one of the most trusted names in gaming hardware. They sent us these incredible headphones and I've been using both to play games and to podcast. I just used them on Legion of Skanks the other day. Amazing, high quality sounding headphones with a microphone built in. They're the turtle beats stealth 7 hundreds. This is going to be the Christmas gift for that gamer in your life.

[Mike Feeney]

They have an insane 80 hour battery life with quick charging, so you rarely have to think about charging it, which is very, very nice. I travel a lot, so it's huge. Battery life is a huge thing for me. Yeah, they can connect to your phone for music streaming or taking calls and you listen to your favorite songs. Gaming. All done with the Stealth 700s. Absolutely amazing headsets.

[Big J Okerson]

And they don't just have amazing headsets. They have every gaming accessory you can ever think of. All high quality. You guys heard of, have heard of Turtle Beach. You probably use Turtle Beach. I was using Turtle beach before they even became a sponsor, so I got super excited when they came on. We're gonna give you a pretty amazing deal for this holiday season. If you go to turtlebeach.com and order anything, they're gonna give you 10 off with the promo code Wars W A R Z Get the ultimate immersive gaming experience today with Turtle Beach. Once Again, that is turtlebeach.com. use that promo code wars with a Z for 10 off. All right, where were we? Alex, story number four.

[Alex]

Story number four. I downloaded porn off LimeWire, burned it onto CDs and sold them.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yo.

[Mike Feeney]

Sold them.

[Derek Gaines]

If it's not Lewis, I'm leaving.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How about that?

[Mike Feeney]

Can I tell you something? And I mean this from my heart.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is Lewis or something.

[Mike Feeney]

I don't think this is Lewis. I feel like I would have known that he was this hustle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How old are you, Feeny?

[Derek Gaines]

36.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, me too.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, this could be age wise.

[Derek Gaines]

It could be.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Even if it's not you, you should have did that.

[Big J Okerson]

I might still do it. This is a great business. It is a good, super entrepreneurial, super perverted. I mean, honestly, it screams Lewis J. Gomez. I understand why you would think that. Yeah, I understand that. But I will let you know that that was not me.

[Derek Gaines]

Who do you think it was?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think Big J had the technical abilities.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Feeny.

[Big J Okerson]

Here's. Here's why Download and burn CDs. I burn.

[Mike Feeney]

See, first of all, you'd have to burn it on a dvd. You're gonna burn a cd. You're just gonna hear porn, porn, audio, porn.

[Derek Gaines]

You'd have to burn it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, back in the day you had CDs.

[Mike Feeney]

And who's a dummy who would write that? I'm right back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's right. Yeah, I'm going.

[Derek Gaines]

It's Lewis.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I said Lewis. I don't know.

[Mike Feeney]

He's already locked in at Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

This is a. This is a white guy. This is a white guy, straight up getting rich in high school scam. This is the same guy that starts to do this behind the teacher's back with a exact.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It feel like Feeny, but feels like Feeny.

[Big J Okerson]

Great name for the episode.

[Derek Gaines]

Can I tell you? I did used to. What I did do is one cd. I never did it with porn. I didn't even consider that I did it. I did do it with like the Eminem. I remember specifically when the Eminem show came out, I burned that. I even printed out like the COVID art and the track listing. And I put them in jewel cases and I would sell them in my gym. But I never did it with porn.

[Big J Okerson]

How about that did seem like an honest Feeny moment. Feeny's the dirty lying dog piece of. And it did seem like he was telling the truth in that moment.

[Derek Gaines]

Plus, if it was a porn, I think it would have to be on DVDRs, not on CDs. You know.

[Mike Feeney]

Were you a porn, Were you a porn kid? Young Vinnie?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I used to download off a limewire, so it took like three days for a three minute clip.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, and you'd want to be paid for that work.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That, that, that, that, that I never. No, that I never went into. But I did, I did jerk off though.

[Mike Feeney]

Vinnie.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what? You know what? I think Big J is doing a big old song on dance right now.

[Derek Gaines]

It could be J. I said Jay.

[Mike Feeney]

Going on right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, then I was following you guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ah, fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, it's Jake.

[Alex]

That was Vinny. You guys.

[Big J Okerson]

No way.

[Mike Feeney]

Let's go.

[Big J Okerson]

This piece of shit said he wasn't a bad guy.

[Mike Feeney]

That doesn't make you a bad boy.

[Big J Okerson]

That was a. Vinny's a bad boy.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That's a down low poor name.

[Big J Okerson]

Vinny is a download poor story. What's happening?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Limewire Vinnie. Yeah. Acvini is a dirtbag name to do that. I fucked up.

[Derek Gaines]

That's good, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And they were CDs. They were not DVDs.

[Mike Feeney]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You played them on your computer, not a DVD player.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Derek Gaines]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

You idiot.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

You fucking dumbass.

[Mike Feeney]

I got it right.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

No, he did get it right.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you got his name right, but you were so wrong about it being DVDs and pointing at me like I would have written that.

[Mike Feeney]

That dumbass.

[Big J Okerson]

Dumbass.

[Derek Gaines]

So mad. Why are none of them you?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. I mean maybe the next one will be. But Vinnie. What? So what, what? Who are you selling porn to? People in high school?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I had like the ill DV like burner thing set up and, and I used to download a lot of porn. So I was like, let me share this with people. And once in a while now like as I'm searching like X videos and I come across some of the old, old. The old days, the hits.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

He was digging into crates.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, that's a fun thing about getting a little bit older is you go and you're like, you know what? Oh, I saw this like 15. It was a good scene.

[Big J Okerson]

I reminisce like it's an old romance.

[Derek Gaines]

What was the most popular one that you sold?

[Louis J. Gomez]

When I first. I don't know if I sold this. The first porn I ever saw was.

[Mike Feeney]

Jenna Jameson and Randy West.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it was some other blonde girl up and comers. Jenna loves somebody. It was a girl, Randy.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, it was lesbian. You were selling lesbian porn?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know you didn't know much back then, you know.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

As you get older, you Start like lesbian porn?

[Big J Okerson]

I can't even imagine.

[Mike Feeney]

Well, you're not embarrassed to say you want to see some dick in your porn? You know what I mean? Yeah. No, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Now it's old dicks.

[Mike Feeney]

Almost exclusive.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every year, another dick enters.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Jesus Christ.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The video.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Mike Feeney]

Well, I will say I'd rather watch one chick with 50 fucking dicks in the video than fucking 50 chicks with one dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Reverse gang bang.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, 50 chicks, one dude.

[Mike Feeney]

I knew the industry term, too. I don't even think I didn't. But I didn't want to freak out.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I'm just being modest. I didn't want to be showing a little humor atmosphere.

[Big J Okerson]

I know the sub category, Jay.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That's great.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, where are our points at getting crushed here?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I came back.

[Mike Feeney]

OO.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Alex]

On the board I have Big J with two points.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Oh, yeah.

[Alex]

Mike Feeney with three points. Vinnie and Derek with five points each. And Lewis with six points.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you. Thank you, folks. And that was our fourth story. That means we are at our halfway point. Let's do some plugs, go around the table.

[Mike Feeney]

The hell is that food?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it looks delicious. I don't know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Meatballs.

[Big J Okerson]

What is it?

[Derek Gaines]

What is that? It's hot.

[Big J Okerson]

You're very hot.

[Mike Feeney]

What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

What is it? Risen bread. I can't have bread. You, obviously I can't have bread. Not at this hour. It's 11 o'clock at night.

[Mike Feeney]

How you talk to people, Louis? Yeah, it looks crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

How dare you offer me bread at 11 o'clock at night.

[Mike Feeney]

The guy's not even the president again yet. You're already going at it.

[Big J Okerson]

Derek. What are you plugging my friend?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Oh, just keep listening to no need for Apologies. And I'm. I'm announcing something on Monday. I can't do it today, but just go to my Instagram at the Great Boy. T H E G R E A T B O Y and on Monday you'll see.

[Big J Okerson]

This does come out Monday night on Gas. And then later, I'm filming a special at.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

At At Second city in Brooklyn. December 10th.

[Big J Okerson]

It's going to be great.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

December 10th, if you remember, Derek is.

[Big J Okerson]

One of the funniest. You're hilarious, bro.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

So it's going to be really good.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yeah, that's all I'm doing. Appreciate y'all so much. Thank y'all. Y'all made the album.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Vinny, follow me on Instagram at Vinnie Guadagnino. I have a podcast called Something Went Wrong with Vinnie and Jersey Shore is airing now on Thursday nights at 8pm and yeah, that's it. Thank you.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Oh yeah, Vin Dog.

[Derek Gaines]

Monday, right? I'll be at the the port in Baltimore this weekend and doing four to that. If you're not in this room. And at I am Mike Feeney on social media. Two comedy specials on YouTube. Check them out.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, thanks.

[Mike Feeney]

Big J, Big J comedy.com for all my dates. I'm coming home for Philly Thanksgiving weekend. We are doing a story wars in Philadelphia that Wednesday, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Very amazing. Secret panel on the night before Thanksgiving. Survivor Series rules Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It's gonna be incredible, guys. Get those tickets. It's gonna sell out. It's gonna get the tickets in it. Don't wait because this will sell out in advance. It's incredible.

[Mike Feeney]

Absolutely. Also, Legion of Skanks are doing New Year's Eve at the Dojo Comedy in Morris Plains, New Jersey. We're doing 8:00 stand up show, 10:00pm podcast to ring in the new year and listen to the bonfire five days a week, faction talk, SiriusXM103 and of course Legion of Skanks right here on the Gas Digital Network.

[Big J Okerson]

Come see me on the road next week. I'll be in Canada. I got Waterloo, Ontario on Thursday, November 14th. That weekend I'm in Toronto at Backroom Comedy Club. Come out to all those shows, it's going to be a blast. Those shows will sell out, so get those tickets in advance. Gramercy theater, the regs, December 11th dojo comedy. I'm headlining on December 12th. EMAs, Pennsylvania is coming up creek and cave in Austin, Texas at the end of December. And yeah, come see us on New Year's Eve and a brand new tour. A lot of stuff planned for 2025. So many incredible things. So thank you guys for being a part of all of it. Make sure you guys subscribe to Gas Digital to get the uncensored version of the show. The on demand library for all of the shows in the network. Thousands of episodes, all ad free, uncensored. If you listen to this on YouTube, you hear us bleeping out every other word. We, I mean we do we, we have sex on stage in the middle of the show. It's a whole thing that we do. We can't show any of it on YouTube. YouTube girls are showing their tits. Guys are coming everywhere. So go and subscribe to Gas Digital and see all this crazy debauchery that we have. Use the promo code war. And for the month of November, you get a 14 day free trial just to try it out.

[Mike Feeney]

So please subscribe and support still we're good boys, though. We're still good boys. All right, gang.

[Derek Gaines]

So good about the second half.

[Mike Feeney]

Second half.

[Big J Okerson]

You should.

[Mike Feeney]

Four more stories. So it is anyone's game. But if you did feel for some reason this was getting a little boring, or there wasn't enough at stake here, because keep in mind, everyone, we're playing for hacks. The inside story of the break ins and breakdowns that put Donald Trump in the White House. Written by a longtime Democratic strategist and the former chair of the dnc, the book details her experiences and observations during the campaign. So it's not for nothing, but the big news is all of the points that we've been playing with. Now it's bread. Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I always. I'm not gonna. It's a gift. I take gifts. It's rude to not take a gift. Jay.

[Mike Feeney]

You just wasted.

[Derek Gaines]

Gonna go right to your hips, Lewis.

[Mike Feeney]

Through your entire day of figuring shit out.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Damn, dude. God damn.

[Mike Feeney]

You made that unpleasant for everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

Money mukbang. Is that.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Wow, that is gross.

[Mike Feeney]

I hated that.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That is awesome.

[Mike Feeney]

That's reverse asmr. Louis, I know you're trying to vamp here to take away my moment of the show, but this is my favorite part of the show where I get to announce to everybody the game shifts into high gear because moving forward, final four stories. Double points.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Double.

[Mike Feeney]

Well, okay, I'm locked in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let's go.

[Mike Feeney]

Whereas before everybody you fooled, you'd get one point, and when you guess somebody right, you got two points. Now double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Double.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, even that part.

[Big J Okerson]

We.

[Derek Gaines]

Even that part. We're explaining twice, huh?

[Mike Feeney]

The people. And the people love double points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I have no idea what's going on.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I'll tell you right now, that might be the best garlic bread I've ever had in my entire life. It scorched my throat and mouth, and I'm not gonna be able to taste other things.

[Mike Feeney]

Ball of chees. Cheesy ball.

[Big J Okerson]

So fucking good. Holy shit. Was that delightful?

[Mike Feeney]

It looks delightful.

[Big J Okerson]

God, it was good.

[Mike Feeney]

Alex. Story number five.

[Alex]

Story number five. I was kicked out of my middle school for fighting. I got into a fight at my new middle school on the first day.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay. Feeney called it middle school before with the exacto knife. Right.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, wow.

[Big J Okerson]

What else is it called?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Derek Gaines]

School.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Elementary school.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Vinnie is a P.I.

[Mike Feeney]

There'S three schools.

[Derek Gaines]

There's elementary school, middle school.

[Big J Okerson]

Some people call it junior high, But I think where we grew up, it was middle school.

[Mike Feeney]

I said junior high.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't say middle school.

[Derek Gaines]

So I guess that's Lewis. And by the way, there hasn't been a Lewis story yet.

[Mike Feeney]

And there hasn't been a Lewis story yet.

[Big J Okerson]

But I, I was not kicked out of my middle school. But that's fine.

[Mike Feeney]

Lewis was in school plays and.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I wasn't, I wasn't a violent kid. I was.

[Mike Feeney]

He wore mascara.

[Big J Okerson]

I was like a class clowny.

[Mike Feeney]

All right?

[Big J Okerson]

I, I, I wore mascara for like a three month period of my life. Jay, stop acting like that.

[Mike Feeney]

But then you wore it on one.

[Big J Okerson]

You're a sucker. Am I right, folks?

[Mike Feeney]

But then you drew it on as a mustache after that. I don't think this is Lewis. God damn it. I want it to be you.

[Big J Okerson]

This, I mean, I don't want to be racist, but this sounds like some Derek behavior.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Does it?

[Big J Okerson]

It does. Did you get into fights a lot, Derek?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I did not. I was talking to the ladies, man. I was break dancing and talking to girls and tapping on tables and.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, Derek danced and played drums.

[Derek Gaines]

And don't rule out Vinnie, by the way. He was quick to throw it.

[Mike Feeney]

It was the first he was.

[Derek Gaines]

He spoke joke first. He immediately tried to throw it on.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Try to throw you under the bus.

[Mike Feeney]

So.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

And we found out Vinny's all he is actually a bad boy. He's a degenerate porn in a porn empire.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I wasn't a fighter. I was a.

[Mike Feeney]

You're like Seymour Butts, an entrepreneur starting from the bottom.

[Derek Gaines]

But there just has to be a Lewis story in here. It's impossible. I can't guess Lewis five times in a row and then change it and then it's somebody else.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can't wait for the one time.

[Derek Gaines]

If I don't pick him, I'm gonna be.

[Big J Okerson]

I already.

[Derek Gaines]

I'm not committed to Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

I 100 know who this is.

[Derek Gaines]

Who is it?

[Big J Okerson]

How about you guys?

[Derek Gaines]

I'll see who you wrote down.

[Mike Feeney]

Talk once in a while.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

God damn.

[Mike Feeney]

Everybody else go. Always votes last. You.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't know. I don't always vote last.

[Mike Feeney]

Except for the first time when you always go, let's get this vote. I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

That's one of my lines. Let's get this voting started.

[Mike Feeney]

What'd you say? Alex Lewis always goes last.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex who? The Alex you were. And I mean this six months. Don't even ask. Don't even think about asking for a raise or any extra.

[Mike Feeney]

Like, don't even do it in three months. Push it forward.

[Alex]

I'm trying to be a neutral moderator.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that Neutral You.

[Mike Feeney]

That was neutral. Neutral. Easy. Spoke the truth.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not neutral. Edit that out. This. We're not. I'm nice on this show.

[Derek Gaines]

I mean, can I also say this? Yeah. For the YouTube.

[Mike Feeney]

Tell that to that sweet Asian lady.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah. Whose garlic bread you took.

[Mike Feeney]

She gave you garlic bread after you yelled pitching.

[Big J Okerson]

I won't ever be bread after 11pm I'm like a gremlin.

[Mike Feeney]

He's trying to save you. You understand?

[Big J Okerson]

You don't want to see what happens if you feed me after 11pm I will say this.

[Derek Gaines]

Vinnie's doing guy at the poker table who's got a monster hand and is pretending he doesn't. He's staring straight ahead.

[Big J Okerson]

Touching his face too. Which is a towel.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Self soothing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right now I'm still trying to figure out the rules of the game.

[Derek Gaines]

No, but wait. But Vinny already had how many stories?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you could have just one.

[Derek Gaines]

There's up to how many.

[Big J Okerson]

Technically, there's no rule on how many had.

[Mike Feeney]

Two.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, two fights in middle school is aggressive. Who's a fucking fighter?

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah. What's middle school? Sixth grade.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, it's sixth, seventh, eighth. First day you were in fights then. First day you were. How many fights were you in there?

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, you have to classic.

[Derek Gaines]

Like the air that I breathe.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry.

[Derek Gaines]

Just a classic.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Lewis, what is happening over there? You having a stroke?

[Big J Okerson]

Like, what the fuck, bro?

[Derek Gaines]

Lewis has never not spilled a drink on Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

God damn, Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Did it get on you? No.

[Mike Feeney]

Now it. Yeah, it's. It's all over everything.

[Big J Okerson]

Really. Can we get a full towel?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Jesus, Jorge.

[Mike Feeney]

This happened last week. He poured three full shots onto my pants.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm really bummed out cuz that was my THC drink and I don't have anymore.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That's why he spilled it.

[Mike Feeney]

What?

[Derek Gaines]

What a weird apology that was.

[Mike Feeney]

This has gone bad for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I mean, it didn't get on your clothing or things. This is a piece of paper that technically we both own. I mean, it's really as much as we both own. We both own.

[Derek Gaines]

If you think about it, I'm at.

[Mike Feeney]

Also, I don't think we wash these fucking tablecloths a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, Jorge.

[Mike Feeney]

Did you have to clean the tablecloth?

[Derek Gaines]

This might have been a brilliant distraction by Lewis. Dude, it's either Lewis or Vinnie and I can't figure it out. My gut says Vinnie, but I just keep guessing Lewis. And if I guess Vinny now I'm gonna lose my mind.

[Mike Feeney]

Except the one I got right, which was Vinnie.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay. Jay's. For every Story, Derek, what are you saying?

[Mike Feeney]

You got.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's in between Lewis, Vinnie, right? Yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

Nah, I'm going for Vinnie, dude. I sw.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll say no. I'll say no more. But Vinnie, we know who it is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Okay.

[Derek Gaines]

You're saying me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I feel like it might be Derek.

[Big J Okerson]

Because Feeny did have white guys. Middle school rage.

[Derek Gaines]

Derek hasn't said anything. By the way, Fernley looks like he's.

[Big J Okerson]

In the eighth grade.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And when it was him last time, he picked, like, a random, he picked me.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He picked me when it was because.

[Derek Gaines]

He was like, just.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm. You know. So I think now it's Derek because he's picking Feeney. No one's my first. No one's even talking.

[Big J Okerson]

But now I feel like you're also talking everyone into Derek. Now, Vinny, it's.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's probably this right here.

[Derek Gaines]

You're saying Derek. God damn it.

[Mike Feeney]

It's all over the place, dude. But it's definitely Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody is good at this game.

[Mike Feeney]

No, but not definitely Louis. But I think it's Louis. But it's definitely him.

[Derek Gaines]

I'm going against my gut again. I'm going down with the Lewis ship. Okay.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yeah, I should have picked fucking Lewis.

[Derek Gaines]

Alex, I swear to God, if you don't say his name.

[Mike Feeney]

Alex.

[Alex]

That was Louis. J.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I thought Lewis.

[Mike Feeney]

Finally, the payoff.

[Derek Gaines]

That felt like coming.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

I was this close to putting Vinnie. I would have left. I would have left him.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I. I went to Farley Middle School, and I was getting into fights. I got into three fights in like, a half a year in Farley Middle Middle School. And they sent me to Havershaw Middle School. And the first day, Jeff Diaz, he was standing online, and I just started talking to him, and then he just punched me in the face. And then I swung at him and I missed him. Then he punched me again. I got beat up on my first day.

[Mike Feeney]

You went there and were completely wrong.

[Big J Okerson]

I got my ass.

[Mike Feeney]

Why did you go up and start talking to him?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't remember, but I had to establish.

[Mike Feeney]

Did you watch a prison documentary and thought that was cool? Hit the biggest guy. First day of school, go and hit the biggest guy. Let him know you don't take shit.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know exactly what it was, but I just. I talk shit. I called him fat. I was fatter than him.

[Mike Feeney]

I know that crime. I know that crime.

[Big J Okerson]

I have no idea why I did that.

[Mike Feeney]

I've done that crime.

[Big J Okerson]

And then he punched. It was in front of this girl, Jessica Janira, who he Ended up going out with. But she was the prettiest girl ever.

[Mike Feeney]

She gets so hot for Puerto Ricans getting their asses kicked.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. So, yeah, I. Yeah, then I got in trouble that day as well, but we didn't get sent to the. This was a rougher school. So they were just like, are you guys good or do you guys want. He really was like, you just wanted to go to class and just forget that this happened. We're like, fine. Cool. We're all right. So, yeah, that was that.

[Derek Gaines]

There is always that thing when you get into a fight in schools where they just bring you the principal's office, like, you're good now. And you're like, yeah, yeah, I guess it's fine.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, that handshake. That fucking. I'll see you later handshake. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, it's a shake up.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have Vinnie and Derek with five points each, Big J with six points, Mike Feeney with seven points, and Lewis with 10 points.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. Oh, that's right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Hacks is coming to its rightful home. To a hack.

[Mike Feeney]

Everybody, real quick, let's talk about one of our amazing sponsors here, Story Wars. And that is my bookie. That's right, everyone. It's the best time of year for betting, everyone. Sports betting, football, basketball, hockey, it's all here.

[Big J Okerson]

Laying heavy on Jake Paul this weekend.

[Mike Feeney]

Are you really?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Mike Feeney]

NFL. The Eagles are on fire, everybody. I say lay heavy on the Birds. Go Birds, everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

The one guy with face tattoos, he's right, though.

[Mike Feeney]

He's right.

[Big J Okerson]

He sells fucking cocaine outside of Eagle Stadium.

[Mike Feeney]

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[Big J Okerson]

Alex. Story number six.

[Alex]

Story number six. I was brought to the principal's office for writing the word on the school wall in fourth grade. My excuse was someone told me to do it and I don't know how to read.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Me sound like Big J. I was.

[Mike Feeney]

Going to point it down.

[Big J Okerson]

Derek.

[Mike Feeney]

And Derek pointed at me. This sounds like Philly activities.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yeah.

[Derek Gaines]

Derek or Jay.

[Mike Feeney]

Immediately, I can see feeling it's me. There hasn't been a me yet, but.

[Big J Okerson]

I know we have not had a Big J story. I mean, that's just my. My instincts right away.

[Mike Feeney]

Big J, I know how to read.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, but that's. That's fine. That's just.

[Big J Okerson]

In the fourth grade. You did not know how to read.

[Mike Feeney]

Shut up, dude. I figured it out.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

So he told me to do it. Someone told me to do it. Now I'm not ready.

[Mike Feeney]

This is pretty innocuous, I would say. This could. This could be Feeney or Vinnie. This isn't Louis, the guy who.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, this is why Jay is not famous, because he's such a shitty actor. I want everyone to realize, like, Jesus Christ. Like, no, no, he's a. He's a great comedian. You know, he's doing fine. But this is the type of acting that you get from Big J. O, this is so obviously him.

[Mike Feeney]

It's psychotic behavior.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, his tone changed.

[Mike Feeney]

No, not me. I mean, a character choice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Mike Feeney]

I made a character choice.

[Big J Okerson]

That was pretty good, actually.

[Derek Gaines]

That le. So hold it.

[Mike Feeney]

Thank you.

[Derek Gaines]

Just on the basis of there hasn't been a J story yet. I feel like it's gotta be Jay. But Derek. Derek's lurking over there.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I feel Big Jay. Jay. It just feels. It's.

[Big J Okerson]

It's.

[Mike Feeney]

It's too. What feels me about this.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's too quirky for fourth grade.

[Big J Okerson]

Like, you. A. Quirky.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Like, you say quick shit, and that's a quick thing to say.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, that's not a good excuse.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Someone told me to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know how to read.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Like, it's just. It's, you know, Dog fart. This is weird.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, Christ.

[Derek Gaines]

I'm committed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Derek Gaines]

This is my first non Lewis vote.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, congratulations.

[Mike Feeney]

Hang out of my shirt.

[Big J Okerson]

Look, I. I belly button doesn't hang out. I put Big J as the B. It's. It's actually him. You see, It's a fat guy, folks. It's a fat guy.

[Mike Feeney]

Okay, it's fine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It has to be Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

He's writing Lewis and then he's drawing. What are you drawing? You drawing a stick figure with a hat? A Mexican hat. A Mexican hat and two guns. Yeah, and that's on a raft.

[Mike Feeney]

This is Lewis coming to this country.

[Derek Gaines]

Are those maracas?

[Mike Feeney]

Gotcha.

[Big J Okerson]

They're guns. So everyone put their votes in for Big J. Big J wrote a racist. A racist fucking picture. And this Is what Trump?

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, yeah. My belly button hanging out like you.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I do, Jay. I do, Jay. And this is what Trump wanted. And this is why. This is why Tony Hinchcliffe did what he did. Did. This was. It was this, right?

[Mike Feeney]

That's why Tony Hinchcliff fixed this.

[Big J Okerson]

This is what Tony Hinchcliff was for and stood for. This is what you stand for. So go ahead, Alex. What is the answer? We know it's Jay. Good job not getting any points. Dick.

[Alex]

That was Big J.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why do we all know that?

[Mike Feeney]

What was so obvious about this one?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's just. It feels obvious, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

It just felt like you said it.

[Derek Gaines]

I see fourth grade, Big J going, I don't know how to read.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's too.

[Big J Okerson]

It's just you. That's you.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. My friend Ian and I decided we were gonna do graffiti on the school wall outside, and we had a crayon, and I went first and just wrote the word fuck and got caught immediately. They brought me up to the principal's office, and I said that my friend Ian told me to do and told me it was the word Fred, but I didn't know how to spell it, so. And they're like, why would you write Fred on the wall? And then my mom came in. She also looked at me with that, like. Like, mom? I thought it said Fred. She was like, what?

[Derek Gaines]

Do they believe you at all?

[Mike Feeney]

No, they knew I knew.

[Big J Okerson]

What did you have to do? You have to, like, erase it.

[Mike Feeney]

Suspended for three days and. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Suspended for three days.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Philly in South Jersey.

[Mike Feeney]

Jason elementary school.

[Big J Okerson]

That's such a crazy amount of time. Suspend a little kid.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then. Yeah. To go out and scrub the wall. Yeah. I had to scrub the word off the wall.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no.

[Mike Feeney]

In crayon. Red crayon.

[Big J Okerson]

And ironically, he was like. And etched it into your brain even harder.

[Mike Feeney]

Damn, I got my dick kicked in that round.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. That was brutal.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have big J with six points, Vinnie and Derek with nine points each, Mike Feeney with 11 points, and Lewis with 14.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

This is crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

Still anybody's game? Still anybody's game? It's looking bad for Jay. Shut up.

[Mike Feeney]

Shut the up.

[Derek Gaines]

He got us right where you want us.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex. We're at story number seven.

[Alex]

Story number seven. I poured bleach on a frog, and it was a nightmarish experience.

[Mike Feeney]

Oh, God.

[Alex]

The frog turned clear, then it exploded.

[Derek Gaines]

No way.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, that's.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That skank.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who's giving animal cruelty?

[Big J Okerson]

That is crazy.

[Derek Gaines]

Who's Admitting to this. How dare.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I got my money on the white boy.

[Mike Feeney]

Right? And by the way. By the way, when we said you, you went. What?

[Derek Gaines]

Let me say, if there's one thing you need to know about me, it's. I'm an animal lover. I would never. I would never.

[Mike Feeney]

That's not an animal. That's a reptile or something.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it also said it was a nightmarish experience.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, you hated it.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe you were just trying to clean it.

[Mike Feeney]

You were trying to impress somebody.

[Big J Okerson]

True.

[Derek Gaines]

That's true. I guess it was me. Yeah, you're right.

[Big J Okerson]

I will say, like, when you do the description, it turned clear, and then it exploded. It makes me want to try it. Like, really? That all happened.

[Derek Gaines]

Exploded? Yeah. That's very fun.

[Mike Feeney]

This also could have. Wait. This also could have been science class.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Okay.

[Mike Feeney]

Ooh.

[Big J Okerson]

Probably was science class. I wonder if it was science class.

[Derek Gaines]

And it was probably a dead frog.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was gonna say the frog could be dead.

[Derek Gaines]

It was probably a dead frog.

[Big J Okerson]

This is nowhere near as fun a story. I wanted it to be a serial.

[Derek Gaines]

Killer taping down each little frog leg.

[Big J Okerson]

I wanted it to be the most diabolical human.

[Mike Feeney]

It exploded. I held its little flippers, like, hey, little froggy. Hey, little froggy. I'll put you back together.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

You quiet. I don't know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no.

[Mike Feeney]

I still feel like this is funny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Unless it was in science class, I would have done it. I wouldn't have done it to a living for that.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Crazy. I would.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah. I could have done that to an already dead thing for sure. In a frog in class. But also, we never did the frogs.

[Derek Gaines]

I think it's Derek.

[Mike Feeney]

I went to a shit school because.

[Derek Gaines]

Just now he just went, like, as.

[Mike Feeney]

He just went. Wow.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, That's. That's. That was crazy.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Well, yeah, I would say that.

[Derek Gaines]

I think. I think you. I think that was a Freudian slip. You said was crazy, not is crazy.

[Mike Feeney]

Derek did come out big, and Derek did come out big right away and yell, this is some white shit.

[Derek Gaines]

Which.

[Mike Feeney]

Which did deflect me. It did deflect me a bit. But Feeny's getting ready to write down real fast. Derek. It's Feeny. Son of a. It's fe. It's Feeny.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I think it's Feeny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know Feeny or Derek.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's Feeny or Derek as well. It could be. It could be Derek. Derek. Derek.

[Derek Gaines]

Derek hasn't said anything.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

What are you talking about? I've been talking the whole time. That is wild, bro. That is Wild. Crazy. That wild, bro. I'm putting feeding. I don't give a.

[Derek Gaines]

There been something that someone has done more.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was wild.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I was acting. That's how you trying to throw people off the whatever.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex.

[Alex]

That was Derek.

[Derek Gaines]

You got him my radar. Thank you. Thank you. If I had trusted you.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

That was crazy how you broke that down when you heard the was. I said, you got me. Damn, this is good. Yeah, he figured out my Minority Report. That was. That nigga's Tom Cruise with this Colombo.

[Derek Gaines]

If I just one more question.

[Big J Okerson]

That's insane. What was it? Was it in science class?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I was a janitor. No. And there was a lot of frogs on the premises.

[Derek Gaines]

There was a live frog.

[Big J Okerson]

It was a live frog.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

And some images said, if I pour bleach on this frog, what the fuck would happen? I'm curious. So I poured it on there. And that motherfucker made his last ribbit. And like, it was wild. I couldn't, like. I couldn't understand what happened. First of all, you know how a frog's legs are kind of like this? It stretched all the way out like that. Then all the green fell off. And I saw the motherfucker's organs inside his little frog. I'm like, the bleach really wiped his green out.

[Mike Feeney]

My baby.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

And I said, holy shit. And then after it did all that, it turned over and started to swell up, but. And popped. I said, I'll never do that shit again. And then I told my friends and we did it one more time the week after that. But that's two frogs.

[Mike Feeney]

They didn't believe me.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Two frogs.

[Mike Feeney]

They didn't believe you?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

They didn't believe me. It was two fucking frogs.

[Big J Okerson]

I want to get a frog right now, bruh.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's just.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't see this.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's brutality, bro. It's brutality. I felt bad, but we was like, yo, I didn't know bleach was that crazy to do something, something to a living thing.

[Derek Gaines]

How much bleach was it?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Just about this much.

[Derek Gaines]

That much.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

How small was the frog?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Little frog. Little, little, little guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he was cute.

[Derek Gaines]

Adorable.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, did you name him first?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

No. We were just like, do you think.

[Mike Feeney]

His frog parents were like, did Isaac come home?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I felt bad.

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah. Where was he? He was at Lily Pad last night.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Earth for forgiveness.

[Derek Gaines]

He knows it's dinner time. He's never late.

[Mike Feeney]

He was down there playing with his favorite janitor from that place he loves.

[Big J Okerson]

I will tell you right now.

[Derek Gaines]

How old were you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

We've been how it's like last week.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

19, 20 years old.

[Big J Okerson]

I will say right now. We've been doing this show for a. I don't know. What. What. What number are we. What episode is this?

[Alex]

This is episode 15.

[Big J Okerson]

Episode 15. That was my favorite story in the history of story wars.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's up.

[Big J Okerson]

My favorite one.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I see your face.

[Big J Okerson]

That was a.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Give me some garlic bread and stop around. I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's a delicacy in her country. Oh, f. Oh.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

See that? I didn't say no.

[Mike Feeney]

Bleach frog. That's deep. Menu cut.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, what's. What's our point spread out here? This is crazy.

[Alex]

Wow. On the scoreboard, you guys, I have Big J. Okerson with six points. Come on. I have Vinnie and Derek with 14 points.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Where's the points?

[Alex]

I have Mike Feeney with 15 points.

[Derek Gaines]

All right, that's one better.

[Alex]

And Lewis with 18.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn it.

[Mike Feeney]

It is not anybody's game.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay has no way to win.

[Derek Gaines]

How many more stories are there?

[Big J Okerson]

But. But Jay can play Giant Killer.

[Mike Feeney]

I can play Giant Killer. Still, It's a cool term.

[Derek Gaines]

Why don't you explain the rules to that a couple times?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Feeney]

How's that go?

[Big J Okerson]

We have one more story. Alex. Story number eight.

[Alex]

Story number eight. As a senior in high school, my first car accident involved a hit and run with a school bus full of children. Detectives showed up at my house the next day.

[Mike Feeney]

Could be Feeney. This is definitely some Long island bullshit. And if I may, Derek. Some white ass shit.

[Derek Gaines]

I will say I'm gonna rule out Derek immediately because of getting. You know, getting away with that. Because he's. Detective showed up at his house the next day, and he's still alive. So it wasn't.

[Mike Feeney]

Well, did everybody here. Who drove to school.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Who drove to school?

[Derek Gaines]

Seniors, buses to get to school.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I drove to school my senior year of high school.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Senior year.

[Big J Okerson]

I drove and I tried to hit school buses. That was like my thing. It was a game I would play with children.

[Derek Gaines]

Now what are you doing right now?

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, it's the thing I did.

[Derek Gaines]

You doing a. Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Feeney]

By the way, Lewis is a horrific driver who has constant accidents.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I say this?

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

First of all, I haven't had an accident in nearly two years. My car insurance was $1,700 a month. I finally. I had five accidents. I had five accidents in two years. I finally. My car insurance right now is like 780amonth, which is fine. This has been okay. This is good. My car insurance is going down to $460 a month starting in December.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I don't know about that. What is this?

[Derek Gaines]

So Louis then?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I mean, it feels like Lewis now.

[Big J Okerson]

I am so happy. It's been such a journey, folks.

[Derek Gaines]

He's not denying it.

[Big J Okerson]

I gotta get a safe driving app. I drive like a bitch now.

[Derek Gaines]

Oh, Jay, how do you drive like a bitch?

[Mike Feeney]

Yeah, I mean, I was in South Jersey for senior year and I drove. There was bus fulls of children. But now.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Cause I drove a car. South Jersey?

[Big J Okerson]

That's right.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

We both from South Jersey.

[Mike Feeney]

I got a. I have had things where detectives showed up at my house the next day. But not hit and running children. Derek's tapping.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't think I was old enough to drive. How old are you in High School? 17. 18.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was 17.

[Big J Okerson]

The was that Vinnie?

[Mike Feeney]

I graduated.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was 17.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't know how old you are in high school. Numbers ain't numbers. Oh, is this.

[Mike Feeney]

That's it. Wait a minute. Vinnie killed some kids.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It feels Vinny Ish.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. How old are you as a high school senior?

[Derek Gaines]

18.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Does everybody drive the.

[Big J Okerson]

The age of the girls? The girls that you're attracted to?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, that. Gotcha today. Today.

[Derek Gaines]

I thought it was Lewis again, but now I think it's you. Dude, you can't ask the question. Do you drive to school as a senior?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't think I did.

[Big J Okerson]

Vinnie killed a kid.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Vinnie kill somebody?

[Derek Gaines]

All right, trust in my gut one last time. It's Vinny.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm canceled.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I'm going with Vin, dog. That just feels weird, bro. I mean, I could have been Feeny though.

[Big J Okerson]

Yo, I think. Jay, Jay, if you're playing Giant Killer, you're pissing me off, dude. Cuz it could be Big J specifically trying to play Giant Killer. This is what he does.

[Mike Feeney]

There's one thing you know about me, I love playing Giant Killer.

[Big J Okerson]

It's either Big J or it's Feeny. Here's my problem.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Maybe I did drive in high school.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

If it's Big J, it just came to me.

[Big J Okerson]

If it's Big J, nobody's voting for Big J. He gets points. Doesn't matter. I'm in the lead. Beautiful Feeney. I'm playing. I'm playing the points game right now.

[Derek Gaines]

Playing.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's Feeny.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sure the points game. Feeney. Bang.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

It's Feeny.

[Big J Okerson]

If it's Big J, it doesn't matter. And I think it's either Big J or Feeny.

[Derek Gaines]

It's very much Vinnie.

[Mike Feeney]

Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Alex]

That was Mike Fiend.

[Big J Okerson]

What'd I tell you?

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I knew it as soon as I put it up.

[Derek Gaines]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I just crushed that round.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Damn, that hurt.

[Derek Gaines]

Because that would have. That would have put me on top if you didn't guess that.

[Big J Okerson]

And I played. I played the points game.

[Derek Gaines]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Very good, Alex. Well, Alex, final, final, final point here. Can I tell you what, Tell the story first. Sorry. I apologize.

[Derek Gaines]

So I got my first car, Buick 1988 Skyhawk. And I did have to take two buses to school, which is why driving was great. It was like a half hour away. I was going to pick up my buddy on the way to school and it was like sunrise because in the morning I came around to turn the same time as this bus did. But the bus was in my. It was like there was no divider. So the bus was taking up the majority of the road. I remember that because I was grinding my tire on the side of the curb and it slammed into the front of our car. Into the front of my car. And then it pulled over. And I pulled over and my buddy was in the car with me. His dad is a cop. And I go, what do we do? I just had my, like, driver, like, learner's permit. I didn't know what I was like, do we have to get out? And he goes, my dad's a cop. If you don't have to get out. If they don't get out. So we both stood. I stayed in the car and she stayed. This woman stayed in the bus for a good, I'm not kidding, like five full minutes of neither of us getting out. And then she put her hand out the window and waved me away like this. So he's like, oh, she's waving you away. You're good. And so I went, okay. And I just drove to school, had like a pretty decent amount of damage. And then I went back. Yeah, a couple days later, two days later, they showed up. They charged me with. They were trying to charge me with a hit and run. And then thankfully the woman that was the bus driver was like completely illiterate and not good at her job because she. She said there was like four people in the car that we were. She described us totally differently. So her, her like quote that she gave to the cops on the scene was thrown out. So the whole thing got thrown out. But on a technic technical standpoint, it was a hit and run. But it was her fault, I believe. And the children killed kids. No. Yeah, it would have been me. But I bounced right off the bus. Bounced right off it beautiful.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, tell us our final point point spread. I already know I won, but what do we got? That was it.

[Alex]

It was a really close game, you guys. I had Big J with six points.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

I thought it was way wrong.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's correct.

[Alex]

I have Derek Gaines with 14 points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Alex]

Vinnie with 18 points.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Alex]

Mike Feeney with 19 points and Luis J. Gomez with 22 points.

[Mike Feeney]

What Lewis game.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

What a game.

[Mike Feeney]

It looks like we get to keep here at the Story wars library hacks the inside story of break ins and breakdowns that put Donald Trump in the White House. The book presents a candid account of a turbulent political time.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm starting it right now. I'm so excited.

[Mike Feeney]

With sharp political analysis.

[Big J Okerson]

I have to start it.

[Mike Feeney]

He's so happy everybody signed the book. Thank you so much to our panel. Everybody makes noise for Derek Gaines, Vinny Guadagnino, Mike Feeney.

[Vinnie Guadagnino]

Funny time.

[Mike Feeney]

Thank you guys all for being here so much. And we'll catch you all next time at Story Wars. Thank you so much. Good night.