016. Steve Rannazzisi, Robert Kelly, & Bonnie McFarlane | Accidents

Summary

Story Warz Episode 016 Summary: "Accidents"

Episode Overview In Episode 016 of Story Warz, titled "Accidents," hosted by GaS Digital Network's Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez, comedian Steve Rannazzisi, Robert Kelly, and Bonnie McFarlane join the show for a lively and humorous competition centered around the theme of accidents. Filmed live at The Stand Comedy Club in New York City during the New York Comedy Festival, the episode showcases a blend of storytelling, wit, and playful deception as contestants vie to outsmart each other and win the coveted prize.

Contestants Introductions

• Steve Rannazzisi: Known for his roles on television and his involvement with the My Wife Hates Me podcast, Steve enters the game with high energy, humorously declaring, “[03:09] Bonnie McFarlane: I came to win this time.”

• Robert Kelly: A staple of the Legion of Skanks podcast, Robert brings his signature humor and camaraderie, engaging the audience with jokes and playful banter throughout the episode.

• Bonnie McFarlane: An accomplished comedian and author, Bonnie adds sharp wit and competitive spirit to the proceedings, determined to secure the win for herself.

• Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez: As the hosts and Story Warriors, Jay and Luis guide the game with their comedic flair, interacting dynamically with the contestants.

Gameplay and Rules Explanation The game revolves around the contestants submitting personal stories related to accidents. Each story is read aloud by the host, and the panel must guess who the story belongs to. Points are awarded based on correct guesses and successful deception. Initially, contestants earn one point for fooling others and two points for correctly identifying another's story. Midway through the game, the stakes are raised with double points for the remaining stories.

Round Summaries

Round 1: Sharing Personal Accident Stories

• Story 1 ([00:29] - [13:06]): A story about attending a birthday party while being too high, leading to an awkward situation. The panel debates whether it belongs to Jay or Luis, ultimately revealing it was Bonnie’s story after playful accusations and humorous arguments.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Bonnie McFarlane: “[02:30] I wish you would have bobbed your ass here a little faster.”
    • Big Jay Oakerson: “[04:32] It is story wars, everybody.”

Round 2: Car and Library Accidents

• Story 2 ([17:30] - [22:30]): A story about an embarrassing accident involving pinching shorts to prevent an accident in a car after a visit to the library. Bonnie cleverly deceives the others, earning her points while Steve attempts to throw off the panel.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Bonnie McFarlane: “[19:01] No, I'm not that odd.”
    • Steve Rannazzisi: “[20:02] Can I ask a question?”

Round 3: Childhood Brick Wall Injury

• Story 3 ([23:13] - [27:59]): Luis shares a childhood memory of breaking his arm jumping off a brick wall, sparking debates about who the story truly belongs to as Big Jay and Steve accuse each other, while Bonnie remains silent until the reveal.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Big Jay Oakerson: “[24:23] Everyone voted. I haven’t voted yet.”
    • Robert Kelly: “[26:00] That was back in 1975.”

Round 4: Bicycle Incident with an Old Man

• Story 4 ([28:12] - [39:21]): Robert narrates a tense encounter where he almost killed an old man while riding a bicycle, leading to intense scrutiny and humorous accusations among the panel. The story is initially contested but ultimately confirmed as Robert’s own after heated exchanges.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Robert Kelly: “[37:09] You should see if Craigslist missed connections.”
    • Big Jay Oakerson: “[37:23] That is such a fucking white person fucking episode of Friends story.”

Round 5: Accidental Car Crash

• Story 5 ([43:48] - [48:16]): Luis discusses an accidental collision while driving shortly after obtaining his license. The panel weighs in with rapid-fire guesses, leading to Bonnie and Steve believing it’s Luis’s story, with Luis confirming his own mishap.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Bonnie McFarlane: “[47:53] I slammed directly into the car in front of me.”
    • Robert Kelly: “[48:00] On the scoreboard, I have Bobby with four points.”

Round 6: Sending a Graphic Text Accidentally

• Story 6 ([49:48] - [55:17]): Bonnie shares an embarrassing story about sending a graphic text to her boss, who shares a name with someone she’s hooking up with. The panel grapples with identity clues, ultimately attributing the story to Bonnie after playful jabs.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Robert Kelly: “[50:48] It has to be Bonnie because it was a boss.”
    • Big Jay Oakerson: “[52:00] She was a friend boss.”

Round 7: Group Sex and Head Injury

• Story 7 ([55:51] - [60:03]): Steve recounts an awkward incident during a group sex encounter where he accidentally bumped his partner, causing a head injury. The panel engages in a flurry of guesses before confirming it was Steve’s story, solidifying his lead.

  • Notable Quotes:
    • Steve Rannazzisi: “[60:17] No, no, not a bunch.”
    • Bonnie McFarlane: “[60:33] This is really me.”

Key Interactions and Humorous Exchanges Throughout the episode, the panel engages in rapid-fire banter, playful insults, and strategic guessing to outmaneuver each other. Notable highlights include:

• Big Jay's Insults: Frequent humorous jabs aimed at contestants, such as “[55:15] Louis J. Gomez: Double point ass.”
• Robert's Wit: Clever remarks that keep the energy high, e.g., “[59:14] Bonnie McFarlane: She scored a perfect score.”
• Bonnie's Clever Deception: Successfully tricking the panel into believing her stories belong to others, earning her multiple points.
• Steve's Determination: Persistently pushing to secure points despite playful accusations and attempts to throw off the panel.

Conclusion and Winner As the game progresses, the point system intensifies with double points for the final stories. By the end of the episode, all players have accumulated significant points, with Luis J. Gomez ultimately emerging as the winner of the "Accidents" round, securing his victory and earning the prize—a used copy of Field Guide to American Antique Furniture by Joseph T. Butler.

• Final Points:
  • Luis J. Gomez: 18 points
  • Steve Rannazzisi: 14 points
  • Bonnie McFarlane: 14 points
  • Robert Kelly: 10 points
  • Big Jay Oakerson: 5 points

Notable Quotes from the Finale:

• Robert Kelly: “[73:23] Congratulations, Louis. Our winner. The book stays in the store.”
• Bonnie McFarlane: “[74:16] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course you want that.”

Audience Engagement and Wrap-Up The episode concludes with the hosts encouraging audience participation and teasing future episodes, maintaining the high-energy, comedic atmosphere that Story Warz is known for. Contestants and hosts exchange final banter, celebrating the competitive yet friendly spirit of the game.

Final Remarks Episode 016 of Story Warz delivers a blend of humor, storytelling, and competitive fun, showcasing the comedic talents of Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, Steve Rannazzisi, Robert Kelly, and Bonnie McFarlane. The theme of accidents provides a fertile ground for hilarious anecdotes and playful deception, making for an engaging and entertaining episode that resonates well with both regular listeners and newcomers.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bonnie McFarlane: “[02:30] I wish you would have bobbed your ass here a little faster.”
• Big Jay Oakerson: “[25:55] It was Bonnie. You”
• Steve Rannazzisi: “[60:17] No, no, not a bunch.”
• Luis J. Gomez: “[73:06] Big J with five points. Sam J. Bobby Kelly with eight points, Bonnie with six points each, and Steve ran easy with 10 points.”

Transcript

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Big J Okerson]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

The Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and Louis J. Komez.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. What's up, everybody? This is Story Wars. Welcome to the show. We are your Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and Lewis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Hello. Hi, everyone. What a great show for the New York Comedy Festival. They gave us no marketing support.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, no.

[Big J Okerson]

They gave us nothing.

[Robert Kelly]

He gave us nothing whatsoever. Thank you to the New York Comedy Festival for having us. As far as our lineup of a show we do every week at this exact same time. How many people here familiar with Story Wars?

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, good.

[Robert Kelly]

Not bad. Many of you, it's your first.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Not her.

[Big J Okerson]

She's shaking her head no.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh. In a judgmental way to your life. We have an amazing panel. Our first guest coming to the stage, everybody. You know him and love him from the you know what dude podcast, the Regs. And of course, he's my work husband over at the bonfire, makes noise for the hilarious Robert Kelly. Everybody keep clapping. He's not there. Clap until your fucking hands bleed. He doesn't move fast.

[Big J Okerson]

What if he just got really fat again? That's why it took him so long.

[Robert Kelly]

He's stuck in a doorway. Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

I wish you would have bobbed your ass here a little faster. Thanks, folks.

[Robert Kelly]

Not bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Not bad at all. Our second contestant on today's Story wars from the My Wife Hates Me podcast and the author of you're Better Than Me. Ladies and gentlemen, the great Bonnie McFarland. I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

A child, I'm a mother, I'm a sin.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie, are you dressed as Big J? What are you wearing?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I. I do it out of purer respect and honor. It's an honor to be here. Why do you guys have books?

[Robert Kelly]

You'll see.

[Big J Okerson]

You'll see.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Bonnie, this is shocking.

[Robert Kelly]

Last but not least, everybody. Our final contestants tonight, you know, from FX is the league and you know him from America's 911. Make some noise for Steve Renaizi. OG Steve, thanks for joining. We get so excited when you do the show.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I came to win this time.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Steve historically has not done great in the show.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve is an honorary story warrior. He's played the game at least five or six times. He's done it on Legion of Skanks multiple times. Steve is ready to fucking win today. He's in the back doing push up shadow boxing. Steve wants to go to war.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I took supplements. I'M ready to go.

[Big J Okerson]

I love it. Steve is stacked with the gills on she legit. We have a great. A great topic for today's show, which is accidents. And ironically, I was in a car accident two nights ago. Two nights ago.

[Robert Kelly]

What are you. Oh, knowing he's alive. He's fine.

[Big J Okerson]

I lost my legs. I have no legs.

[Robert Kelly]

Funny to you?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Was it your fault?

[Big J Okerson]

It was my fault.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I knew it.

[Big J Okerson]

100% my fault. Rage weed. No, I wasn't under the. I'm kidding. I wasn't texting Bobby. I looked at my phone, I looked up at the light, looked down on my phone, looked up at the light, looked down on my phone, started gunning it. Wait, it was just.

[Robert Kelly]

You cruise past that part. And then I gunned it.

[Big J Okerson]

I gunned it. I really gunned it. And I'll tell you right now, an Audi picks up speed quick, right into the back of a shitty truck that had a scratch on it. My entire front of my Audi crushed in.

[Robert Kelly]

Probably nice and expensive to fix, too, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Don't even fucking get me going, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

You're going to be in a great mood.

[Big J Okerson]

I really better win tonight's story wars. I need the money.

[Robert Kelly]

It is story wars, everybody. The rules are very, very simple. We have all submitted three to five stories on the subject. Tonight is accidents. If your story is going to be read out loud, your story will be read out loud, one at a time. And when Alex reads the story, if it's your story, you're the only person who knows that it is your job to pretend that it is not your story and throw people off. If it's not your story, it's your job to figure out whose story it is. You will get two points for every time you guess somebody correct. And, Louis, tell them what you get for the other thing.

[Big J Okerson]

J. You fucking piece. We made it A. Can I say this?

[Robert Kelly]

I thought I was. I was rolling and I got.

[Big J Okerson]

You weren't rolling, dude. You're a cocksucker. That's what you are.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I panic.

[Big J Okerson]

We decided that we were going to do it this way, where he was going to explain the rules. I was going to explain the points because we freaked out every time. And then he went right into the fucking point.

[Robert Kelly]

It happened again. What we say happens every week happens every week.

[Big J Okerson]

We weren't supposed to, Jay. We were supposed to have a perfect intro this week.

[Robert Kelly]

I whiffed.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it. You get one point for every person, you fool. You get two points if you guess the correct story. It's pretty easy. You Guys are gonna catch on. Are you guys ready for war?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Nice.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, wait. Before we start, we should let you know you're not playing for nothing here. The winner tonight takes home a used copy of Field Guide to American Antique Furniture by Joseph T. Butler. A comprehensive resource. A comprehensive resource for identifying, understanding and evaluating American antique furniture.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm so old. I want that.

[Robert Kelly]

I know you do.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I know.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

You know who's going to love that? Rich Foss is going to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't win. I wanted a new table.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I'll tell you right now, I am. I'm upset that we're putting up this book out of the Story wars library today. I got to be honest with you. I'm going to work my hardest to make sure this stays home.

[Robert Kelly]

We are the Story Warriors. Let the games begin. Alex. Our first story.

[Alex]

Story number one. I took a date to a birthday party. I was apparently supposed to be the date of the person who invited me. It was mostly family and I looked like a jerk, but I was too high to do anything about it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, we know it's Louis or Jay.

[Alex]

We both stayed.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's long winded, so I think it's Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't even understand what happened. It's so many things.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Maybe it is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's apparently supposed to be. Don't read it like you didn't write it. You're doing the old. You wrote that this afternoon. That's. Look at me.

[Big J Okerson]

Look. The story. The story is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at me. Look at me. Stop reading it. You wrote it.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a long winded story and it's about the person not listening to the other person. It's definitely Jay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes, and there's nothing misspelled, so it's definitely not me.

[Robert Kelly]

No, this is Bobby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's not me. Dude, look how perfect all the stuff is. I would have misspelled.

[Robert Kelly]

Alex can fix that.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, but they'll fix that, Bobby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, they do?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, they fix it. They take stuff out, they move stuff around.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, whatever. Fucking you nice haired asshole.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Don't. Don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Whoa.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't like your hair, cuz. I love it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I. I get it. I get. Don't be jealous, Bobby. Don't be upset that you invited someone else to a birthday party. You were supposed to be the date that the. I don't know. I. I'm still trying to read this thing, to be honest with you.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a real mouthful.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a mouthful, I'm telling you right now. Don't look at me. It's sweet cheeks right there.

[Robert Kelly]

It's Bobby. It's Bobby. He's overselling.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's trying to say it's me. That's a move.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's a move.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll say.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

This is Bobby voice.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby is acting excited right now, and it's acting. And now I'm thinking it's definitely Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Mariah Carey thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Acting like a liar.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know what? You might have a point.

[Big J Okerson]

I can tell when somebody's lying to my face. Bobby, is this you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's not me. It's this. I'm telling you right now, me.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Bobby. The first time I play this game, although it is a podcast, I talk too much.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And that was my mistake of getting home. And that's exactly what's going on.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby's getting very excited. He's squaring, maybe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm so good at this game.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

All right, we'll find out.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. This is also a thing.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Can I say something?

[Robert Kelly]

This is something that a woman could be asked to Barto, and the guy who invites her says.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I was gonna say I'm not 100% sure, but I think it's me. I'm only basing on the fact that this woman had two people liking her.

[Big J Okerson]

That's true.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I don't know if anybody here would have that situation.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Think about.

[Big J Okerson]

True.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just think about this. Think about this. All of us as kids, young, younger men.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who would be.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Who would.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Who would be the. In the best friend zone out of all of us at that age? Who would a girl put in the friend zone? It's not going to be Louis, because no girl's going to feel safe with him. Rena Zizi, he was fucking banging.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I don't know. I don't know him well enough to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's true. He was banging.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

So what are you saying? It's you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Folks, I'm getting the voting going. It's obviously Robert Kelly. I am. I am genuinely the bet guy. You should all vote for Bobby right now. And ruin his points.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, wait a second. That could be Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Robert Kelly]

What you just did right there. Where's our napkins to wipe our answers?

[Big J Okerson]

I already know. I just whispered it to the team because every week they forget them and we have to ask for napkins, but I don't want to make it a big deal and embarrass them guys.

[Robert Kelly]

Napkins every week.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it. Damn.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't change my answer until I have a napkin.

[Big J Okerson]

You could rub it with Your finger and then. Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know what? I think you're right. I'm changing it to Lewis. That move right there was too quick.

[Robert Kelly]

It's. Nope, never mind. I'm fine with Bobby.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Trust your instinct, Steve.

[Robert Kelly]

No problem.

[Big J Okerson]

I go with Bobby. And remember, once you write the name and you put it in the holder, that is your final answer. Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bobby, when this happened to you, if you need to change, did you feel sad?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, this is such a fucking white person fucking episode of Friends story like this is obviously not a fucking Puerto Rican. Do you think I was showing up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because it is Puerto Rican? Because the white girl told Puerto Rican to a party and then ignored him?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Don't Puerto Ricans bring extra people to parties all the time?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Who's inviting people to a family party birthday party? That sounds non white to me.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

That's true.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, but we're throwing a picture of the sad person who invited the person.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

That's true.

[Robert Kelly]

And they were like, they're coming as my date, and that's Bobby. And then you showed up with a date.

[Big J Okerson]

Also. This is. This is. Bobby would have a story about how two chicks liked him back when he was hot Bob. Shut up, Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

So obviously Bobby Too high is also a very young Bobby.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that's the other thing. Bobby. No, Bobby only smoked weed until he was like a 13.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It all adds up now.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's a lie, right? Isn't that a lie? How old were you when you quit smoking weed?

[Louis J. Gomez]

When I quit, 15.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

15.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, that's.

[Big J Okerson]

No, this could be. This could be Bobby. Sure.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby told me he used to get high.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, guys, you got to get your answers in this only story number one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know it's not Jay. I know it's not you because you didn't start smoking weed until you were fudgeing 20, you fag. So true.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

This could have happened to somebody in their 20s.

[Robert Kelly]

This could happen to somebody in their.

[Big J Okerson]

And Jay did date a lot of women behind his wife's back in his 20s.

[Robert Kelly]

I have an awkward birthday party story like this, but this isn't me.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I don't know what word are you trying.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I know Lorraine. Is there a Lorraine on the. On the dais?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know if I want to put. It's either Louis or you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It's you. Vote for me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're on fx.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Let me tell you, I fucked this game up every which way.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You haven't been on TV in a.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Long time, and it's telling you right now. I'm telling you right now. Please vote for me. I need every, like, deflection I can get.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I'll vote for Bobby because he's. Everyone has not writing it down enough.

[Big J Okerson]

That he put Lonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Louie.

[Big J Okerson]

Louie's not here, Bobby. He doesn't like you anymore.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Did he.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did he tell you that?

[Big J Okerson]

He said that to me?

[Robert Kelly]

He said. He goes, I like fat Bobby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No. But now he likes fat Adrian Apolucci. He likes female Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, all answers are locked in, Alex.

[Alex]

Holy shit, you guys. That was Bonnie.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, I told you it was me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I knew she was a lesbian.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I told you it was me. I told you it was me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What a killer fucking first round.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh. So what happened, Bonnie, in the story?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

The story is. Is that it was George Lopez's birthday party.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's not. No, it's not. Stop it. And his writer, George Lopez, thought you were his date.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, no, his writer invited me.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But I thought it was gonna be, like, a huge blowout party because it was George Lopez, but it turned out to be just George Lopez and, like, his kids and his. You know, it was, like, very small.

[Robert Kelly]

Lopez versus Lopez.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And I. I brought a date. Then the guy, the writer was like, he. We don't have enough food for him. And. But the guy that I brought was on a. Like a soap, you know, at the time. And the family was freaking out over him, all the women, and he was like, Telemundo.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Or is it like a.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, no, like a regular soap.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Was that Canadian actor guy, the guy.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah, Nathan.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The guy that became famous. And you up.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yes, but we dated Nathan Fillan.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Good looking dude.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I took him to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Great looking dude. And what a solid career.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, he was on that ABC show.

[Big J Okerson]

For a long time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Boss is at the Chuckle Hut this week.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

He's got great hats. Foss.

[Robert Kelly]

Bonnie.

[Big J Okerson]

How great would it be? How great would it be to not be the breadwinner in the family?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Feel so good.

[Big J Okerson]

How nice would that be?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

He had good weed, too.

[Robert Kelly]

Bonnie's been forced into being a feminist.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I know. Well, I want this life.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Excuse me, miss, Can I grab an agua?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah, of course.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'll take one, too.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, my God. Now he speaks Spanish.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

One week in Cuba.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think she's Spanish?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I think you're Spanish.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's smoking hot.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, she's hot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God damn it.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Could I also get some kind of sparkling water with lime? Thank you. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Sweet. All right, Alex, what are the points at Bonnie?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Also, could I just say one thing? Could I have put my own name on there.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And you would have won them all. Right.

[Robert Kelly]

No.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, I wasn't. I was going to do it as like a. Haha. I'm still joking.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, if you went very last, you could have definitely.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I was trying, but he wouldn't fucking write his thing down because I didn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Know if it was fucking him or her.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, him.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Nailed it.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Okay. So did I get points?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Bonnie, you just got a clean. Sweet.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It's gonna be tough to catch you.

[Alex]

Man, look at that story wars.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, well, well, Bonnie. Look who woke up all stomped over in the green room. Let's play this dumb game, I guess.

[Big J Okerson]

Get out of here.

[Robert Kelly]

I told you, it only takes a round to get hyped on it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'll tell you this, way better than AI Roast Battle.

[Robert Kelly]

That was.

[Big J Okerson]

Shut up. Dude, that was awesome. It was a great idea. All right, Jay, let's take a quick moment to thank IP Vanish for supporting today's show. You might be watching this show right now. Guess what? People are stealing your data. Guess what, fuckface? People are taking your shit. They're advertising to you.

[Robert Kelly]

We got you. I just bought a Thai boy on your credit card.

[Big J Okerson]

Your identity is probably installing. And you know what, to be honest with you, maybe you're a person that's doing shady shit on the Internet. Maybe you're going on the dark web. Maybe you're looking at weird porn that you're not supposed to be looking at. We don't want to know. We don't have to know. That's the point.

[Robert Kelly]

All I know is rhinoceroses have huge cocks and women can give birth to babies. Put those two together, you need IP Vanish.

[Big J Okerson]

IP Vanish is going to make sure your IP address disappears so you cannot be tracked online. It ensures fast, unrestricted Internet and it gets you around any of those pesky online sensors that you may face if you're on public WI fi. It protects you from hackers. There's no reason that you're not using a vpn. Everyone that is in the know uses a vpn. Clap your hands if you use a VPN daily, everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

There is a world of just farcical pornography coming from countries that are underdeveloped. Check it out. Bite only with IPVanish.

[Big J Okerson]

IPVanish.com is the website. Use the promo code wars with a Z for 10% off. They're already incredible packages up to 85% with all the savings. IPVanish.com use that promo code wars hashtag Taiwanese boy.

[Robert Kelly]

They'll Know what it means?

[Big J Okerson]

All right, where were we? Alex, Story number two.

[Alex]

Story number two. I ship my shorts in the lobby. I ship my shorts in the library. And had to ask someone I was newly dating to take me back to my apartment so that I could change. I had to pinch the bottom of my shorts so that the poop didn't run out into the car.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

A lot of information. This one person has a car.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we know they were in a library.

[Robert Kelly]

My instinct is to say bonnie again. Because again, why? It's like, this is. Your girlfriend's driving you around. Do you guys have a lot of girlfriends driving Lewis?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Maybe someone who is newly dating. Take me back to my apartment. An apartment, a car and a library.

[Robert Kelly]

You're in a library, though. That's what it is.

[Big J Okerson]

Apartment, a car, a library. These are a lot of things. These are screaming.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I think it might be me again.

[Robert Kelly]

This could be Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It's always Bobby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everything is me. Everything was. And things is me.

[Robert Kelly]

Could be.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, you're very quiet on this one. The last time, you were very talkative. And this time you're quiet.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But now, this time you're talking a lot. So now it leads me to believe that it's you.

[Big J Okerson]

And also, that's like a hot guy move, is to admit that he his pants. Like, we're all insecure, like, no, I never shit my parents. It's crazy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

That's like Steve's like, let me check yourself. A hot guy.

[Big J Okerson]

You're Steve.

[Robert Kelly]

You're Stud. You know it. Don't even play that.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What are you talking. Guys, please. All right, Be cool, guys. I'm not that odd.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

When you were in your 20s, you were a hot guy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, I thought.

[Big J Okerson]

Girls, faces. I guarantee it. I wasn't Steve.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was never your favorite book.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What's my favorite book?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't repeat the question.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Wait, what did you say? Is that what you said?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You said it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I thought you said, who's my favorite?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Stop stalling. What's your favorite book?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I don't have one. Dude, I don't read books. I swear to God.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But can I say this?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I don't read them.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

This is obviously somebody who doesn't spend a lot of time in the library. Libraries have bathrooms.

[Big J Okerson]

That is true.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know where to go.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What do you do when you're in here if you're not reading?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Where can you shit?

[Robert Kelly]

So you just say shit at the library where I read?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, it's the only time they've ever cracked a book is while they're on.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

The joint while I'm shitting. Yeah.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't shit where I read.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, that's what happens. I open up a book and just started shitting myself. Sorry, guys. Pavlovian response.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

As soon as I read, that dump comes out.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I don't think this is Big J. I think I would have heard this if it was Jay. This is Bobby or Steve.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It feels Bobby to me, but Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

Just cut me off in a nervous way.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I'm gonna say Steve. Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve. Sort of showing his ass there as soon as I said it could be Bobby or Steve. Who would. I think it's Bobby.

[Robert Kelly]

Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, man. If we give fucking Bonnie four more points right now, you guys are all wrong.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You guys are all fucking stupid. Cause it was Steve.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like the way Steve said. Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I can't wait to hear. Go ahead, Alex. Wait, Are we done?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, everyone's in.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Sweet.

[Alex]

That was Steve.

[Robert Kelly]

You guys. Fuck.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I tried one last.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And I almost had you.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're the only.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What am I. I mean, I. I'm not.

[Robert Kelly]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm not going to write. I'm going to use three words to do my thing from now on. I just gave too much.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah. I'm talking too much in the story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You shouldn't use library.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Well, the fact that it was correct.

[Big J Okerson]

It's also. Steve, you're the only one that would wear shorts, like, comfortably in life.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What are you talking about?

[Big J Okerson]

None of us are wearing shorts in public. We have fat legs.

[Robert Kelly]

That's false. I wear shorts. But they're. George.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Would have just shit in a book and wiped his ass with the Bible.

[Big J Okerson]

We got a book. Ew.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I was in college and I. I literally shit in the library. Like, you know, in the library.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But why didn't you go to the bathroom?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Because I already shit my pants. I farted.

[Robert Kelly]

Was a fart.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I just shit it. And then it just shit came out. And my girlfriend at the time, who's now my wife, married this woman. Yeah. And I had a dry back like this reverse. So, like, she was driving. And I had to sit like this and hold my shorts so that it didn't. Because once I sat like this, it all would slide also.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys just see that Hawkeye move. He's like, oh, I had to sit like this, ladies. And he shows you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm not gonna.

[Big J Okerson]

You.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Lewis. How bad do you want to me?

[Big J Okerson]

We know what you're doing with that ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Those fabletics pants are wrapping that ass like a present.

[Big J Okerson]

Happy birthday to me.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Dude, I suck at this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Are those true? Are those true classic jeans?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, they're true religions.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, let's go. Points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, we all get four right on the scoreboard.

[Alex]

Bonnie with six points. Bobby, Big J and Lewis with two points each. And Steve with zero.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, don't clap.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, folks. This audience has to pick it up a little bit. We're doing great up here. I gotta be honest with you. We got Post Malone in the crowd. It's pretty sick. Dude showed up for the show. Come on. Let's have a great show tonight, guys, for post. I'm doing crowd work to get the audience into it now.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, the crowd's into it. You guys are into it. You having fun?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You guys having a good time? Two rounds of Story Wars. The New York Comedy Festival.

[Robert Kelly]

Alex, Story number three.

[Alex]

Story number three. I broke my arm at a birthday party when I was five years old. I was following a bunch of kids jumping off a huge brick wall.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Lewis, it's so boring.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, this is boring.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I mean, what is that?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I stubbed my toe going to the bathroom.

[Robert Kelly]

It hurt.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Fuck, dude, I've done all these stupid things.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It's called Stupid Story Wars.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, good. Story Wars. I. My pants. I killed someone. Not gay.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Stupid stories.

[Robert Kelly]

Involuntary vehicular homicide.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

My rumpus room was out of order.

[Robert Kelly]

I hate this game.

[Big J Okerson]

Look, I'll say, please vote for me all day long.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I think it's. And partly because I think, like, you probably don't even come up with your own stories. Like, it's probably an assistant that was like.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I remember he told me one time, huge brick wall.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That might be surprised.

[Robert Kelly]

No one's guessing.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, here's the thing. Bobby is the only one shaped like Humpty Dumpty. So I'm thinking not when he was young. There's a chance that he fell off that wall, folks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was hot when I was young.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, folks. Humpty Dumpty. What are we doing here?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Humpty. Like. Oh, there's supposed to be an applause break on that. 100%.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie spelled my name wrong.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I. I used a literary reference. You actual Dumpty?

[Big J Okerson]

Actual.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, Stalin. It's Lou. He's Stalin.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay, where you put.

[Big J Okerson]

Is.

[Robert Kelly]

Everyone voted. I haven't voted yet.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I haven't voted yet either. I'm waiting.

[Robert Kelly]

This could be Bonnie.

[Big J Okerson]

There's no O in my name. It's bothering me.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

I hope you just erase the one in Gomez.

[Robert Kelly]

Mess.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis Gomez.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. I'm going Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, you guys are. You know, it could be Big J, too, but did Big J ever break his arm?

[Robert Kelly]

Stop wasting everybody's time.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah. Stop pretending.

[Robert Kelly]

When I was 5 years old. Bobby or Lewis for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

I think that it is Roberto. Roberto Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Roberto Kelly. Final answer. Everyone's locked in. Alex.

[Alex]

That was Robert Kelly.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

What I tell you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Short, boring story.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Stupid, boring story.

[Big J Okerson]

Ass fucking dickhead piece of shit story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ha ha.

[Big J Okerson]

What a loser you are for telling this story and trying to play the game.

[Robert Kelly]

That's what happens when you get sober when you're 11, you fall off brick walls.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

How that hurt.

[Big J Okerson]

All of his stories are fucking boring because he's sober when he's 10. I just pilot all once. Is there any stories that you. Or is there any details in the story that you missed?

[Robert Kelly]

Whacked out on heroin.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I saw brick wall and, you know, I thought of you.

[Robert Kelly]

Birthday party.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. I was at a kid's birthday party and all the kids were running and they jumped off this big tall wall, like from the ceiling down. And at the last minute, I forgot I was afraid of heights. And I tried to. I was like, I don't want to do this, but I was already going, and I fucking landed and broke my arm.

[Robert Kelly]

Did everyone laugh at you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they kind of did. Yeah, they laughed and they thought I was joking. I was going to know what sound to make.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, it sucks making a noise when you're a wind knocked out of you. A fat kid getting his wind bicycle handles is the funniest thing to see and the worst thing to be a part of. I've been on both ends of that B.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was back in 1975 when they weren't. It wasn't a parent around for a half hour. Like they had to take me.

[Big J Okerson]

What. What did they do? Did all the king's horses and all the king's men.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Come on, guys.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Stand up and cheer for that feel Good.

[Big J Okerson]

That was good.

[Robert Kelly]

This crowd thinks we're dicking around, but I want you to understand that this book is designed for collectors, enthusiasts, and historians, offering clear insights into the key features, styles, and periods of American furniture from the 17th to the early 20th century.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I've been whittling for five years. I'm waiting for this moment.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, let's look at our point spread, please.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, with two points each, I have Steve and Big J. I.

[Robert Kelly]

Have not been having in a couple weeks.

[Alex]

With four points each, I have Lewis and Bobby. And with six points, I have Barney.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I. I feel like you're on my ass, man.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

We're right on that ass.

[Robert Kelly]

It is anybody's game. For sure. Always here at Story Wars. Alex, story number four.

[Alex]

Story number four. I almost killed an old man while I was riding a bicycle.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Okay. Some kid has a bicycle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay doesn't know how to ride a bike.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, that's. Let's get rid of Jay.

[Robert Kelly]

I do know how to ride a bike.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's your daughter. You never taught.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you son of a bitch.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I apologize. You told me that confidence. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. She doesn't know how to ride a bike.

[Robert Kelly]

She's 20. She's 22 now. She's fine. She looks like a fool riding a bike now.

[Big J Okerson]

So it says, I almost killed, which makes me think it's Bonnie. And.

[Robert Kelly]

This could be a very. This could be a very Canadian story. Bonnie McFarlane.

[Big J Okerson]

What is this story about? Bonnie, please tell us this.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

First of all, I'd like to know how old the old man was.

[Robert Kelly]

Old.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It gives really no details at all.

[Robert Kelly]

Which makes me think it's Bonnie. And they had to take out some details so we wouldn't know it was a girl.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I almost killed an old man while I was riding a bicycle. It's like there's nothing to it.

[Robert Kelly]

Sounds like a lot to it. An old man almost died that day.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But how.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, how'd you almost die in a bicycle?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

How could you almost kill someone?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, you hit them and they're.

[Big J Okerson]

Old and their bones are brittle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

He probably wasn't even that old. It's probably younger than some of us on this.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Right, Right. We don't know how old.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay doesn't ride bikes. But I don't know why this is giving Big J vibes.

[Robert Kelly]

Because I'll almost.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Because if he hits someone on a bike, it could be very dangerous.

[Robert Kelly]

Even if Jay doesn't walk you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm just saying you don't do a lot of physical things.

[Robert Kelly]

What do you mean?

[Big J Okerson]

Jay, didn't you have a period where you rode a bike?

[Robert Kelly]

The story's me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay has never ridden a bike.

[Robert Kelly]

You.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Since I've known you, when was the last time you saw Jay? At a gym. On a bicycle gym.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah. What do you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Peloton.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you're right. I don't ride a lot of bicycles. At the gym, you weirdo.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know you don't ride anything.

[Big J Okerson]

Jake, didn't you have a bike period in your life? That I'm remembering for some reason?

[Robert Kelly]

You're cycling as a kid for sure. Not when you were a kid as an adult nowhere.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But to kill someone on a bicycle, you gotta. You know, I'm thinking you gotta have the hat and the.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but he's got a chain attached to him. There's spikes, there's. Jay's a. Just a piece of fucking garbage rolling through the air.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, my God. I'm like a ball and chain whipping through those streets.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know, Louis rides bikes all the time.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And I do think. I do think Lewis is trying to.

[Big J Okerson]

My friend, you know this.

[Robert Kelly]

But this could be kid. He's a. He's. He's. He was Penny board. There was no bike phase in my time knowing him. And I will say that this does not this. But it just could be Louis Young. This could be a younger Louis. This doesn't have any age attached to it. Hmm.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The fact that kills in it is Louis.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, I was gonna say the opposite. The joke that I made Lewis has never killed.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, Bonnie. That's a really good joke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This crowd sucks.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Is that what he said?

[Louis J. Gomez]

He doesn't do good at comedy.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby's over explaining Bonnie's joke. They didn't laugh at when Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

They didn't laugh at the same joke. Two minutes to Bonnie two minutes ago.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I think it wasn't working. Working with me because they know I'm a very good.

[Big J Okerson]

They know you kill.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I get it.

[Robert Kelly]

So I thought Louis was gonna start angry rating Bonnie. It's Bonnie.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I know I did just.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm down to Bonnie or Bobby. No. Or young Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just going young Big J now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Because Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J was really fat when he was younger. If he was coming at you on two wheels, you were basically dead. Young or old. I'm going big J.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's not Lewis. We're gonna be in trouble.

[Big J Okerson]

You ever. You remember that scene in. In Temple of Doom where the fucking boulders coming down the fucking. That was Jay on a bicycle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Put it up there.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I can change it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you can change it.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no.

[Big J Okerson]

As long as up. Oh, if it's up, you can't change it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You already put it up. No, you put it.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you. Was it up? It.

[Robert Kelly]

Was it in the holder? Was it locked in?

[Big J Okerson]

Was it locked in the holder?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'll put it back to the one it was. I don't remember what it was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lewis. Lewis, I saw what it was.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Shut up, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

On camera.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Mind your own business.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why don't you mind your business, you hot piece of ass?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Here right at your.

[Robert Kelly]

Such a stud.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are fools. You guys all Just gave Big J points, you idiots. I know, you fools. Damn it, I know it. God, Alex, say it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Big J.

[Alex]

It was Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

I told you, he's huge.

[Robert Kelly]

I had it.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I knew it was Big J from the beginning. And I let Louis imagine him on a bike.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody, real quick, let's talk about one of our awesome sponsors over here. Story wars. And that is my bookie, everyone. Football season is here. It's happening. We are right in the middle of it. We're in the thick of it, everybody. And the Eagles are so good. Yeah, put a little skin in the game. Make watching sports even more fun. With my bookie, everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I don't give a shit about all about football, but they have everything. They have fighting, they have boxing, they have mma. Every sport that you could bet on, my bookie has odds on. And they really have an incredible interface. They make it so easy to gamble. When you're playing with my bookie, you're not just watching the games. You're investing in every moment of the action. I'll tell you right now, a few bucks on the line is going to turn any game into a highlight of your season. Just right now, when you go to my bookie, my bookie ag is the website. Use the promo code wars with a Z. You get to claim a bonus of up to $1,000 on your first deposit. Once again, that is wars to start the football season off playing with house money. And they keep you coming back for more with tons of exclusive lines, free bets, and exclusive, exclusive access to VIP contests.

[Robert Kelly]

Never miss a single game, bet on anything, anywhere, anytime. Only with my bookie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How did you get on a bike with a wallet chain?

[Robert Kelly]

That's its own story.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's why you almost killed a dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that chain from the bike that you almost killed it on?

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't have a chain on when I was riding this bike.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I dropped my little fucking card holder.

[Robert Kelly]

I was riding. Where'd it go?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know. It disappeared.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, can someone grab that, please, for him?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, thank you so much, Miss.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, I was riding. I was late to meet my daughter and her mom for dinner and I took a city bike. You did? Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You gave me shit for riding city bikes.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Well, you look ridiculous. I was late for something.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, A guy with fingernail polish and fucking red dye. Looks fantastic.

[Robert Kelly]

That was before the gel mannequins.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You look like a singing telegram riding one of those.

[Robert Kelly]

No, I was going, and there was an old man crossing the street, and so I like, he was going against the light. But. So I, like, weaved to go around him, like, way out of his way. But I don't know what scared him or what he thought he was gonna do. Aggressively and angrily. He had a bag of books from, like, the Strand.

[Louis J. Gomez]

These books?

[Robert Kelly]

Like, these kind of books?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's where we got the inspiration for the Strand.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's where we got the book in a fucking.

[Robert Kelly]

In, like, one of those canvas bags. And I just was right. I went around him almost with like a. Oh, sorry. You know, it's like, careful, sir. And I felt immediately get wailed in the face with this bag of books. And, I mean, he literally threw the book at you. He threw it. He hit me in the face with a bag of books. He's. No, he didn't throw them either. He swung the bag.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Did he hit.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Did he connected completely.

[Robert Kelly]

I.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

So the real story is you almost got killed by an old man on a bike.

[Big J Okerson]

By an old man.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay got off the bike and beat the guy up.

[Robert Kelly]

I got off the bike. Exactly. And I walked the bike over. I go, what the fuck's wrong with you? And I smashed the bike into the old man. At which point. At which point the guy starts going, I'm an old man. And everybody on the street who has now only seen this part of it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You screamed back. Circling, transitioning.

[Robert Kelly]

I went, the guy just hit me with a bucket.

[Big J Okerson]

Back of. That's not. That's not fair. You brought. You brought a bike to a book fight. You can't do that. That's.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Stand up, everyone.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It doesn't sound like an accident. This sounds premeditated.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Where's the accident?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Like, I. I attacked an old man on purpose.

[Robert Kelly]

I wasn't trying to kill. He did such an aggressive act that I thought this guy was down for. To go, no joke. Smashed him with a bike.

[Big J Okerson]

And where's the accident?

[Robert Kelly]

I accidentally almost killed him. I was just trying to instigate a.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Fight with my fist, just trying to scare him.

[Robert Kelly]

I was just trying to say, hey, this is the first stage of let's get into a fist fight, you old son of a bitch.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You should see.

[Robert Kelly]

He just tried to. In my mind, he just tried to kill me on that bike. So I'm like, let's fight to the death. And I smashed him. But when I smashed him, he went into it. He went to another. He's like, oh, why would someone do this? And everyone turned on me on the streets, and I had to run.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You should see if Craigslist missed connections. If you're like, hey, you hit me with a bag of books two years ago and I almost punch you in the face. But I think about you every day.

[Robert Kelly]

I wasn't able to come without thinking about it since.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay, you ran away. You literally ran away.

[Robert Kelly]

I got on the bike.

[Big J Okerson]

You biked and then you ran and then you swam. You did a triathlon.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

To get away from this guy, I meddled in three.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Can I ask a question? If the man had not have been old, perhaps even just coming out of a gym, would you have still 100. You would have went for it If.

[Robert Kelly]

I got smashed in the face with a. Yeah, absolutely.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It didn't have anything to do with the fact that he was an old man and that you were like, I.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Could probably saying that he would fight somebody he could take.

[Robert Kelly]

You're saying I was looking for trouble with an older man?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, I'm just saying maybe you would have looked the other way had the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Guy hit me in the face.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Bodybuilder.

[Robert Kelly]

Let's. No.

[Big J Okerson]

If it was like a big black guy.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bonnie was calling you a. I'm asking a question.

[Robert Kelly]

100. Win, lose or draw. Absolutely. Yes, absolutely. I got hit in the face.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Well, I had a boyfriend one time that gave a car the finger, called and said, you cunt. And I go, how do you know it's a woman? And he goes, Well, I wouldn't have given the finger if it wasn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you marry that boyfriend?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That is rich, boss, ladies and gentlemen. No, that wasn't him. It's Nathan Fillion.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, listen, I might be. I understand what you're asking. I might be more aggressive with somebody who cuts me off hard, dangerously in traffic. If it was someone that looks like it's an easy pickings versus someone looks like it's scary. If I got hit in the face with a bag of books while I mean, I literally.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

You're not thinking.

[Robert Kelly]

We're right in the traffic. Yeah. I was like, I'll fucking whoever it would have been. Yeah. But luckily for me, it was an old man who I almost killed accidentally.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, hopefully you learn.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I don't think this round should count just because of the accidental thing.

[Robert Kelly]

I think it should count because I've done.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay doesn't understand what an accident is.

[Robert Kelly]

Guys, what are accidents?

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, can we talk about our points here? We're halfway through the game, by the way.

[Alex]

Alrighty. On the scoreboard, I have Steve with two points.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Should have three.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Alex]

I have Bobby Kelly with four points. Yeah, sorry. Big J with five. Points. And Bonnie and Louis tied with six points each.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right. I'm coming for you, Bonnie.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

We're gonna have to rip that book in half.

[Robert Kelly]

Son of a bitch. Well, everybody, it's time for plugs. We're halfway through the game, so it's time to do plugs. We go around the room. Steve Ranazzi, what do you got coming up?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I got Tulsa, Oklahoma, the Bricktown, whatever. The comedy club. Yeah, Bricktown Comedy Club, Tulsa. That's the two days after Thanksgiving. And then Chicago, Illinois, the weekend after that. And Spokane, Washington, the last week of December. Tickets to Steve rennese.com.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Bonnie, I'm not prepared with dates, but you can see me on my Instagram. Check it out. Bonnie McFarlane.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bobby, go to Punchup Live. Robert Kelly, all my dates, my special for nada. And the 17th of December, we're doing the live bonfire at the village underground now. Comedyceller.com special guest.

[Robert Kelly]

Absolutely. Bigjay comedy.com for all my dates coming home from Philadelphia for Thanksgiving weekend. We're doing a story wars in Philly that Wednesday, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So get tickets for that and all of my other shows. BigJComedy.com Listen to Legion of Skanks right here on the guest digital network. And of course, the bonfire with me and the Great Robert Kelly Five days a week on Faction Talk, SiriusXM103.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell yeah. Guys, go to LewisOfSkangs.com for tickets. Come see me on the road. What's going up? Ems, Pennsylvania, Morris Plains, New Jersey, Austin, Texas, and then obviously come see Story Wars New Year's Eve. Legion of Skanks gonna be in Jersey as well, which is gonna be a blast. So subscribe to gas digital. Gas digital.com use that promo code war. Get the uncensored version of this show, the ad free version of the show, and thousands of hours of content that you cannot get anywhere else. And yeah, check out all the other pods. Lewis and Zach, show the regs with me and Bobby Kelly and Dan Soder and Joe List and obviously the legendary Legion of Skanks.

[Robert Kelly]

Hell yeah. Everybody, now. Thank you. Thank you all. Now, I know what you're thinking, Steve. I'm out of it. Same old, same old. Yeah, you think you're out of this game? There's no way you can jump back into it at this point of the game. There's only four stories left. But I have great news for you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

We're doubling points.

[Robert Kelly]

The final four stories. Double points. Yeah. Yeah, it's the double points, gimp. Everybody, look at this Double points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a double point, gimp.

[Robert Kelly]

It's a double point skimp.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How much does that pay, huh? The same as this.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

He makes a fair wage.

[Big J Okerson]

Right?

[Robert Kelly]

Before, if you got one point for.

[Big J Okerson]

Fooling somebody, that's a real comedian who wants to tell jokes. It was his only way to get on stage this week.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's commitment.

[Robert Kelly]

Before, every time you fooled somebody, you got one point. And when you got somebody right, you got two points. But now double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Hello.

[Robert Kelly]

It's kicked into high gear.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hey, how much did you get? One of those.

[Robert Kelly]

A double point skimp. Oh, I don't know. It's market price pretty much like lobster.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want to hire him for my wife's birthday party.

[Robert Kelly]

Our final four stories, starting with story number six. Oh, five.

[Alex]

Story number five. I slammed into the car in front of me while driving in traffic. The first week I got my license.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

All of us.

[Robert Kelly]

J. Gomez, this is Lewis for sure. He's done this every week since.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's right. He just told us the story.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I did do this.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

You just got your license this week?

[Big J Okerson]

Just two nights ago I did this.

[Robert Kelly]

I can't do the one from two nights ago. Let me pick one of the other 700.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. Bobby's doing this with his hand right now. That's a self soothing thing when people are lying. A lot of that. You already have it in the thing.

[Robert Kelly]

You want to change it. This is dead on Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nah, it's.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I've been burned by Lewis like a bunch of times.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of girls have been burned by me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Right now Bonnie's talking. It's her.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, it's you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yep. She's getting nervous. She's doing character work.

[Big J Okerson]

She's making noise.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It's like, not me.

[Big J Okerson]

She's doing Nixon.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I want to change it.

[Big J Okerson]

It's funny. Might be Bonnie.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't think it's Bonnie. I think it's.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie's having a meltdown physically right now.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Easy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

First of all, she's a Canadian and she's a woman.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, my God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why? Go yourselves.

[Robert Kelly]

Those roads are icy always.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, I think it's Bonnie. Or I think it's Bobby.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I wanted to change mine. Why would I change it if it was me?

[Big J Okerson]

That is actually a great point.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That would be a great trick.

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis is still trying hard because he knows he could turn Steve and still get that point.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'll turn Steve.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You've been trying to turn me all night, you queer.

[Big J Okerson]

Those booty cheeks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Can I watch?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I want. I Want to be the last one to put it in?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Wait a minute. Hold on, Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. That's not the way.

[Robert Kelly]

I know.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm getting my damn head right now. We're flirting.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn.

[Big J Okerson]

Me and Steve are flirting.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I know.

[Big J Okerson]

Right before everyone dies.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Sexual tension energy.

[Big J Okerson]

Right.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Bobby and I leave with.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

All right, I'm voting. That's it.

[Big J Okerson]

Could it be Steve now?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's got to be Lewis. Could it be Bob Drive. You know, how many accidents have you gotten it.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby was doing a self soothing thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, look at me.

[Robert Kelly]

Look at me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at me. Don't. Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Robert Kelly]

Let him.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby Cali.

[Robert Kelly]

Let him do it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

You wrote Steve.

[Robert Kelly]

Okay? Steve thinks it's Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

This is the last guy. He got points.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on. Yes.

[Alex]

How is Steve? Brown is easy, everybody.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

He only knew about that trick because of me.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, thank you. Whoever. Whoever threw Lewis in there right away. I was.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J always leads the charge when he thinks he knows me.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

He never knows me listening to you anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

Thank God.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No heavy lift lifting on that one. God, I should get extra points for putting myself.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He gets more and more points.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I killed you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm back in it now, baby.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve's in first place, I think.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why? Because he chose himself.

[Big J Okerson]

No, nobody chose him, okay?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, nobody chose everyone.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve, what happened here? You slammed your. You got into an accident. Your first weekend license.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I got. I. I was like driving to SATs or something and I slammed the car in front of me and then I pulled over to exchange information and my dad, who's a limo driver, drove, was driving in the traffic right next to us, locked eyes with me, saw me, but he had a customer with me, so with him. So he had to just fucking keep going.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no.

[Robert Kelly]

Run.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, I mean, he just kept driving with his customer. And I had to like, exchange information and I had to pay out of pocket and all that shit, but I didn't lose my license. But yeah, I slammed directly into the car in front of me.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn. Damn. Was it a nice car?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, it was a Caddy.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn. Nice.

[Big J Okerson]

It's nice Caddy.

[Robert Kelly]

I mean, what a shakeup, everybody. Alex, what does the points look like?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, I can't wait to see it. This is the first time I've ever been in first place.

[Alex]

Holy. You guys. I have Bobby with four points, Big J with five points, Bonnie and Lewis with six points each, and Steve ran easy with 10 points.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

That's the game. Everyone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wrap it up.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Give me the book.

[Robert Kelly]

Let me tell you something, Mr. An is easy. You can thank one thing and one thing only. For that, you double points.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. Let's take a quick moment and talk about sheath underwear, which is the best underwear on the planet. I love my sheath underwear this holiday season. If you're looking for that perfect gift for that man or woman in your life, Sheath underwear has the best line of products in the world. And their underwear, with their dual pouch technology, is unlike any other underwear on the planet.

[Robert Kelly]

My dick and balls have been at odds since the late 90s.

[Big J Okerson]

It's okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Now I can finally keep them separated but flared up like betta fish.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you gotta. It's like. It's like. It's like putting on. Putting a wall between your balls and your dick.

[Robert Kelly]

And they want to get at each other so bad that they're always both kind of ready to go.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's really great. It keeps everything cool and separated, friction free. I genuinely only wear sheath underwear right now. Look, it's what I'm wearing right now. That's all I will ever wear. We love sheath underwear. Most comfortable, high quality underwear you will ever have. And if you guys want to save some cashola this holiday season, go to sheath.com and use the promo code STORY20. You're going to get 20% off your order today. Once again, the sheath.com use that promo code, STORY20.

[Robert Kelly]

Official underwear of the UFC.

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh. I think it's more impressive that the official underwear of the story.

[Robert Kelly]

Warriors, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Hell, yeah. All right, where were we? Story number six, shakeups.

[Alex]

Story number six. I accidentally sent a graphic text to my boss who had the same name as someone I was hooking up with.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Okay. This has a lot of information in it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And it's not Bonnie, because she's not going to use hooking Up.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Up.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And somebody knew how to spell graphic.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

That's Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

So I think that eliminates almost everybody on this panel.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

This is. I might be me. It might be me again. Because also, it's somebody who had a boss. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

This. This.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

This. Who the. There is no one on here that this could be about who's had a boss.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie's talking non.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You know the term negotiate against yourself? You're like, why would I do that? I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. But probably not. You don't know me, but I know I wouldn't do that.

[Big J Okerson]

An external internal model. It was insane.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Leading the witness, your honor. What the is wrong with you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Accidentally sent a graphic text to my boss who had the same name as somebody I was hooking up with.

[Big J Okerson]

Sounds like Bobby.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Can't even read. It has to be Bonnie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It has to be Bonnie because it was a boss.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's what I just.

[Big J Okerson]

It was rich boss.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was rich. And it couldn't have been a girl.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, who has a girl boss, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're right, Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

There's no such thing as a girl boss. It.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Me.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But we. So. So wait. That's why he's saying it has to be me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I never thought of it that way.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

All bosses are men, right? What are you talking about? It has to be Bonnie.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's no way there was a girl.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

The boss is a man. Yeah, at all companies.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But the boss could be a man but have a name that's the same as.

[Robert Kelly]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

Obviously, Bonnie. And I don't want to give somebody else all these points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fuck. Ah, you feminist.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Nathan Fillion. What was his name?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Nate.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but what if it's Steve again and he gets 16 fucking. Yeah.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No, I know it's not Steve. No, because he already had two. Two in there.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve. Look at his face, dude.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I love you.

[Big J Okerson]

I love you.

[Robert Kelly]

Come on.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck.

[Robert Kelly]

Whoa.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no, it's the.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

The gimp.

[Big J Okerson]

The gimp. He's the. Come back.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What happened.

[Robert Kelly]

Tom?

[Big J Okerson]

Are you touching. Fat.

[Robert Kelly]

Idiot.

[Big J Okerson]

Piece of fat. Tom. Did your big dumb Nikes kick the wire out?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It seems that way.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. Tom is way too important of a person to be ruining the show. You're pissing me off, Tom.

[Robert Kelly]

Good.

[Big J Okerson]

Now I don't even know where I was at. I was thinking of Steve, but then maybe Bon, because of the pause, I.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Should be able to pull this back and redo it. Someone said yes.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I think it's. I think it's.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I look for any form of validation.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I think it's Jay. That's what I think. Because. Hooking up. Hooking up, Sure.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Or it's you, Louis, but I'm not fucking writing your name on this thing again.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm writing Bonnie because she's liar. That's why it's so obviously Bonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

All right, we're all locked in. It's going to be Jay and he's going to sweep it.

[Robert Kelly]

Nope.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Come on, Be you.

[Robert Kelly]

Don't you wish not.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It's not me Spot.

[Alex]

That was L. J. Go piece of.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What boss?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Did you.

[Robert Kelly]

You had Robinson. It was when Lewis worked at Hot Topic.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it was when I was working.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What was your boss's name?

[Big J Okerson]

I was working at Siriusxm. My boss name was Marissa, and I was also hooking up with a girl named Marissa, and I just DM'd her some just rancid. Being like. I put like, I want to spit in your. Or something crazy. And my boss is like, what? And I was like, oh, I just wrote a bunch of U's and H's.

[Robert Kelly]

She was a friend boss, though, so.

[Big J Okerson]

She was a friend boss. It wasn't that. I mean, look, we're still awkward. Yeah, awkward as fuck, but, yeah, for sure. Shout out to Marissa Rivas at SiriusXM.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You're like, offer's always open. Offer's always open. Marissa Rivas.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I'm getting fucking pissed.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, now? Yeah.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I said Louis a hundred times.

[Alex]

Alex, can we look at these points on the scoreboard? I have.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I need that book.

[Alex]

Bobby with four points, Big J with five points, Bonnie with six points, Steve with 10 points, and Lewis with 14.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Shut the up two stories left, right? He has 14 points because of double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Double points.

[Robert Kelly]

And.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I've got. Oh, here we go.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Beetlejuice.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Double points.

[Robert Kelly]

No, it's only when I say it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's only when.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, he's. He's getting settled down. Double points.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, dude, he's chubbing up over there.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Is that cigar ever gonna be done?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's only when you say it.

[Robert Kelly]

Only when I say it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Only when you say what?

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, the first round's normal, but the second round, we go double points.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, my God, you idiot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Double point ass.

[Robert Kelly]

Hey, he's not the double point scholar.

[Big J Okerson]

Can. Can somebody.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Bobby really loves it, though, don't you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love the double points.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Gim.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You don't like it? I like that it's a grown man over there that has to put a mask on in his underwear.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It would be all right, except it's seems like. Like he literally just took off his pants. He didn't have any thought that this was going to happen. Sheath.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It's a branding.

[Big J Okerson]

It is a branding.

[Robert Kelly]

He's wearing sheath.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, story number seven.

[Alex]

Story number seven. I peed my pants during an IQ test and pretended that I. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Okay, there's a lot in here. We could go. First of all, peed my pants.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Who in this table had to take an IQ test?

[Big J Okerson]

Like, that's.

[Robert Kelly]

We're like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

We're not sure, but we're gonna actually find out that number. We're gonna grind it down.

[Robert Kelly]

I had to take one when I was a kid.

[Big J Okerson]

Elementary school. Elementary school.

[Robert Kelly]

I took it because you find out if you get to go to.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Maybe you're the only one who didn't take an IQ test. Oh, now it's starting to seem like maybe that it's you trying to throw people off.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Okay, please vote for me. I've never taken an IQ test. I think I would fail.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, never taken one in your life.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

You don't know what your IQ is. No, let me tell you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, wait, just put your hand in my head. You're like 13, but the fact that you pee your pants during the IQ test. I think the test is over. You failed the test. If you piss your pants during a.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Test the pretended did not notice. Sounds like something Jay would do.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, no, Jay doesn't.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know how to piss my pants stories.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That seems like a lie.

[Robert Kelly]

No, no, not a bunch. That's a drunken thing usually, but during an iq.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's a little kid story. This seems like Bobby. It's like the 50s or whatever. Hell yeah. This is what it was like.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Is he really retired? Well, give him an IQ test and let's find out.

[Big J Okerson]

This is what they did back then.

[Robert Kelly]

They do up crazy. Just moved through Boston.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby. Bobby had braces on his legs. His mom had to bang the principal to get him in the school.

[Robert Kelly]

There was no black people allowed in the school to laugh at you about this.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

How did Bobby do? Well, ma'am, he pissed his pants during the test, not well.

[Robert Kelly]

Is that good? Is that good?

[Big J Okerson]

Good, good?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Does that mean. Does that mean he's normal?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But I like, would they do two Lewis right in a row? I mean, I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

So just. It is completely randomized them pulling up the stories.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

So because you're laughing a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

This is a hilarious story. Look, vote for me all you want. I. I want you guys to spread it out. Not for one person. Let's all vote for different people at this point.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course you want that.

[Big J Okerson]

Put me in the lead.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I feel like it's you because of the way you're. Right. Like the way you're leaning back.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

He's got different behavior than he.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it could be. Bonnie. Women have weak bladders. They just piss themselves all the time. They're like too strong of a woman.

[Robert Kelly]

To leave the IQ test. Then you're going to say there was gender bias because your small bladder and bibbidi bops.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I was in the library.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, look, it's.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I'm scared to put Lewis down again because of how many times I've lost your good Name.

[Big J Okerson]

Because I'm the thorn in your side today.

[Robert Kelly]

This does feel like Bobby to me, and God damn it, I'm committing. Robert Kelly peed his pants.

[Big J Okerson]

If you. Listen, if you think about everyone's personalities.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Buddy, I was in jail at 13, right?

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't say you scored. Well, I said you peed your pants during a test.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You think they were giving an IQ test to me?

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. Here's the good news. Your son's a genius. The bad news, he's retarded.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

A bit.

[Robert Kelly]

I didn't know those two things could exist. Your son's an anomaly.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

He scored a perfect score. But we told him the bathroom was over there. But yet he just pissed his pants.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, he just missed his pants and act like he didn't notice. Are you pissing your pants?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I want to mix it up, but I do feel like it's Bobby Kelly.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, Louis.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I don't want it, because now I know.

[Robert Kelly]

Makes me feel.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Louis, it's not him.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen. Don't listen to anything Jay says, because Jay is always wrong.

[Robert Kelly]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Always? Look at the screen.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah, he is. You're right. You're right. But if everybody puts Bobby and it's not Bobby.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, he put Bonnie, I put Bonnie. You got two Bonnie's. Two bobbies. Bonnie, what do you say?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I'm saying Bonnie.

[Big J Okerson]

It was Bonnie. You.

[Alex]

It was Bonnie, everybody.

[Robert Kelly]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. I'm coming for you, Louis, you son of a bitch.

[Robert Kelly]

I'm coming on you.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie, how old were you when this happened?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I was in second grade.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, this is great.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And I only had two questions left. And I thought, I can. I can do this. I can hold it.

[Big J Okerson]

And they were both about water. It was like three liters of liquid.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And you're like, oh, human bladder holds water.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Once it started, I just.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You gushed it.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And then someone behind me goes, excuse me.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, they told on you. Cuz you were dripping.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It was like, coming.

[Big J Okerson]

It was. Oh, my God.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It was like a puddle under.

[Big J Okerson]

That happened to a girl.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I was like, wait. What? Pretended I didn't notice it was happening.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Wow.

[Robert Kelly]

You animal.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What grade was this?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Second. I was a senior and.

[Robert Kelly]

Damn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You took an IQ test in second grade?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I did very well on the IQ test. By the wedding? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Is it Canadian? We took them every year.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Wait, have you ever taken an IQ to anyone else?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, in the States, they give you 50. They give you 50 points for not pissing your pants.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What's the conversion rate?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

50. 50 points to write your name.

[Robert Kelly]

I feel like, they told you it was an IQ test, but it was just a questioning about being molested or something.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

She's quirted.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What was your. What was your score?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Stupid.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do you remember your score?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah, I'm gonna say it.

[Big J Okerson]

One.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What was it?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thousand. What's. What's the good IQ score?

[Big J Okerson]

What is a good iq? Dumb. I am. I don't even know what a good IQ is.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Is it like SATs over two hundreds?

[Robert Kelly]

Mensa, right.

[Alex]

I think 100 is exactly average. And anything over, like, 110? 120, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

110.

[Robert Kelly]

You're talking about SATs.

[Big J Okerson]

You had 800, sir.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That's not good. One hundred and fifty or something.

[Big J Okerson]

So you took a testosterone test? You have good tea, dude.

[Robert Kelly]

Right. Right. That's what it was.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

All right, what do I get? What are the points? Did I move up or what happened?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you got some points there, Bon.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, you did. You did. All right.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have big J with five points. Sam J. Bobby Kelly with eight points.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Alex]

Bonnie with 10 points. Steve and Lewis both with 14.

[Robert Kelly]

Holy shit.

[Big J Okerson]

It's still any man's game.

[Robert Kelly]

The heat has never been more on.

[Big J Okerson]

This is crazy. We're on.

[Robert Kelly]

On the line. The Field Guide to American Antique Furniture is both a visual and informative reference tool with illustrations by Ray Skabinski.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I could smell the wood from here.

[Robert Kelly]

It includes a wealth of photographs, diagrams and descriptions that help readers better understand how to identify, appreciate and care for antique American furniture. Remember what you're playing for, Gang. Story number seven.

[Big J Okerson]

Story number eight.

[Robert Kelly]

Eight.

[Alex]

Story number eight. During group sex, I bumped my partner off the bed, causing a head injury serious enough that everyone left.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Okay.

[Robert Kelly]

Group sex.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Boy, oh, boy, what a great last one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's right. It's either one of them.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I've never.

[Robert Kelly]

I agree.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Never had group sex.

[Robert Kelly]

I agree. It's not me. I agree.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I.

[Robert Kelly]

Who do you agree with making me lean, Lewis? Because I agree it's over.

[Big J Okerson]

I've not had a ton of group sex.

[Robert Kelly]

A ton?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What's the average? Group sex?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

No. After somebody had a serious injury, you kind of slowed down a little bit.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Once, the chat room was like, louis fucks people up during the group sex parties.

[Robert Kelly]

No. You know what Bobby would call it? Group sex. That's from the 70s.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, shit.

[Big J Okerson]

That's true.

[Robert Kelly]

Group sex.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

My partner shag Carpet.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

We were playing Yahtzee and things got out of control.

[Robert Kelly]

Everybody left. Everybody left. Through my beaded curtains, in the middle of my doorways.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I bumped my partner. I think it's you who's gay here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought it was Lewis, but it's a hundred percent you because you still do that.

[Robert Kelly]

Weird. Sure, but I've never hurt anyone.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, but Jay. Jay likes. All right. Jay likes group sex. He likes mosh pits. I think all signs.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Louis likes group sex.

[Robert Kelly]

He's Puerto Rican.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

He hurts people.

[Big J Okerson]

He hurts people. He injures people.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

For fun. Always.

[Big J Okerson]

But I could see Steve having some group sex days. I would kill.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

If this was me. I would love. I would. I would tattoo this. This is me. I will tattoo this on my chest. And I will stand there naked at skag fest next year.

[Robert Kelly]

He's been shitting his pants with his wife since college.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

There's no group sex.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah. Although if somebody. You know, that's. That's how it would sound for somebody in high school having group sex. Right.

[Big J Okerson]

Groups. Yeah. Group sex is a weird way to put it. That's an old timey type.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And my partner is a weird thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Partner is also like. Yeah, this is some bisexual partner.

[Robert Kelly]

I will tell you. Alex could change because they didn't write.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah, right, right. But you can still say my boo.

[Big J Okerson]

My girlfriend. The person said girlfriend or boyfriend in the story and that's why she changed it to partner.

[Robert Kelly]

Alex. Group Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that true? Did you change partner?

[Alex]

Yes, that's true.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

All right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's Jay because you don't have a girl.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

So is it. So during group sex, I bump my. Off the bed.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, yeah. This dumb. If this dumb. Off the bed does sound like Lily.

[Big J Okerson]

But Jay would be into like group sex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She shortened the thing that. That someone wrote.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Was there other edits to this? We'd like to know.

[Alex]

There were other edits to this one.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, interesting. Well, I didn't know we were editing these stories.

[Big J Okerson]

It was originally during. During group sex, I bumped my girlfriend off the bed while we were listening to Paparo and eating pizza and causing a head injury. Serious. And enough that everyone left. Okay, obviously we know who it is.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Would you like to rebut Jay?

[Robert Kelly]

Nope.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It's me.

[Robert Kelly]

I love group sex with partners. Sometimes I flash and flail and I just don't.

[Big J Okerson]

I think. I don't think Bobby was really ever into group sex.

[Robert Kelly]

What? Talk to the guy once in a while.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I think he did some shit, but I don't know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's writing me down. It was him.

[Robert Kelly]

Wait, if you're doing that. I don't trust.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J's doing a whole. Jay's doing a lot of acting right now. Jay's Trying. First of all, you're trying to play giant killer right now, you piece of. I know what you're doing. I know what you're doing.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

But listen, if you're Jay, would you put this in as a story? Because you'd know it would. People would be like, oh, for sure. That's.

[Robert Kelly]

Which is why Louis might do it, right?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

To throw you off.

[Robert Kelly]

He's told me he's done that before.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I have had this story. Sounds like these are facts.

[Big J Okerson]

I have had group sex. I have hurt people. I have not done those two things together.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Well, not. It's an accident. We know it's an accident.

[Robert Kelly]

Didn't say. You clotheslined your partner off the bed. You bumped into them while you were trying to get to a guy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Robert Kelly]

In this non gender disclosed group sex.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

First of all, I also. I mean, the term everyone left, not the other person left.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a lot of people. That's why I think it could be. It could be Bobby. Because that almost sounds like Sexy Bob days. Like him and Patrice and somebody else.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's sexy about with Patrice in the room? I mean, what.

[Robert Kelly]

Two extra tits in the room?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Cause injury serious enough that everyone left. Like, I'm just slipping on blood over here. I'm gonna go. Is it like that?

[Robert Kelly]

I can't get footing in these songs.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah. You know what? Is she just gonna lay there like that? I don't want to do it anymore.

[Robert Kelly]

It's Lewis or Bobby. I'm going with Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's either.

[Robert Kelly]

It's either Lewis or Big Louis, because Bobby. If it's Bobby, you threw me off by writing me down. But I'm going first.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, I think I know who it is.

[Robert Kelly]

Lewis is trying to wait.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I know. This is the biggest decision I've ever made in my life.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's either Lewis or Big J, but I want to stay with Big J. I think he's lying.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, it might be Bobby. Yes.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I took a big risk here because I needed to win. You know what I mean?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want to go, Louis. Yeah, because there's violence.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah. There is violence.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You would be like, sorry, sorry. I'll. I'll get Uber Eats.

[Robert Kelly]

Those are the most accident prone guy. Like, nobody go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You wouldn't let everybody leave. Yeah, and Christine wouldn't let. Christine's not leaving.

[Robert Kelly]

No, she's gonna block the door and say, now you just can't leave. You gotta sign NDAs. Don't tell people my girlfriend up in this group sex sesh.

[Big J Okerson]

That's it. Bobby Kelly. Group sex. You say big J. What does Bobby say? Bobby's writing it down last.

[Robert Kelly]

I said, louis, he's writing it down last.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

He had to write his own name. There he goes. His own.

[Big J Okerson]

It was Bob's. Yes.

[Robert Kelly]

Oh, you sucker. Oh, he faked me.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby played Giant Killer.

[Robert Kelly]

Bobby played Giant Killer.

[Big J Okerson]

What was the story? Bob put that.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Anyway, I'm pissed too, guys.

[Robert Kelly]

Somebody laid heavy on me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

Bobby. What happened to the story?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was dating this girl, and we talked about having, like, a threesome. And one night she just came over with this smoking hot Italian girl that was kind of cuter than her. And she came up and we're on my futon, and I. I was trying to divvy up the responsibility, but this chick had big boobs and she let.

[Robert Kelly]

Me stick her pure iron frame, by the way, the futon.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, pure.

[Robert Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I started.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Let's. Let's get to the head injury.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I was. I started around with her too much, and I got into it and I pumped and I bumped the chick off the bed.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you pumped and bumped.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She hit her head on the corner of the wooden. I just. We all just heard, ow. And then she had to go put ice on her head. And then she came back and she goes, I'm going. And the girl left. And everybody left. And nobody.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

The other girl left.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, everybody left. And I was just in the window. And it was in the winter, and it was just fogging it up.

[Robert Kelly]

Like Tiny Tim watching one girl leave with a head wrap bandage.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

I like that. You didn't walk him to a cab or anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It wasn't, what a great guy. It was the 80s. It wasn't cabs.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

There was cabs in the 80s.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Taxi driver.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I couldn't.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

An idiot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We didn't call them.

[Robert Kelly]

Why do you have a cartoon?

[Steve Rannazzisi]

You get her a cab. You.

[Robert Kelly]

Group sex. The dangers of group sex.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Yeah, I don't even know if that counts as group sex.

[Big J Okerson]

That is a threesome.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

That feels like. Yeah, that's. That's the whole story.

[Big J Okerson]

What was the story? The way it was written, Alex.

[Alex]

Okay? Exactly as it was written, it said.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Let'S not get crazy. You can make directions, you can make it better if you need to. Wherever you need to add your creative license, feel free.

[Alex]

A girl I was dating always talked about having a threesome. She finally brought a girl over my house late night. I got way into the girl bumped the girl I was dating off the bed. She hit her head.

[Big J Okerson]

Holy Bobby. You submitted all that?

[Alex]

She hit her head and got hurt real bad. And I had to leave and had to leave. And the girl she brought left with her.

[Robert Kelly]

Dude.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Oh, my God.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I wish you put that. I would have put Bobby for sure.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Jesus.

[Big J Okerson]

God, that was crazy.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

And I spent the entire time from then till now writing this story.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm hoping everyone thinks it's Bonnie, but it's. That's really me.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex. Points.

[Alex]

All right, our final points, everyone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Final. This is the game.

[Alex]

This is the game.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm not winning the book.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, you're not.

[Robert Kelly]

I don't know.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

It's so weird that the person who made up the game wins the book.

[Alex]

With five points, I have Big J. Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, Jay, it was a rough round.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Jesus.

[Alex]

With 12 points, I have Bobby Kelly. With 14 points, I have Bonnie McFarlane. With 14 points, I have Steve Rannazzisi. And Lewis jay Gomez scored 18 points.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right. A Field Guide to an American Antique Furniture. I cannot wait to just learn about American antique furniture tonight.

[Robert Kelly]

Well, Louis, let me tell you, whether you're an experienced collector or a novice butler's work serves as an invaluable guide to the rich history of American furniture design. Congratulations, Louis. Our winner. The book stays in the store.

[Steve Rannazzisi]

Don't go ahead with it.

[Robert Kelly]

We get a big round of applause for everybody on our panel tonight. Steve Ranazizi.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Robert Kelly]

Bonnie McFarlane, the great Robert Kelly. Thank you so much. Join us every Wednesday here at 10pm at the stand for Story wars and on gasdigital.com. thank you all for being here. Good night.