020. Nick Rochefort, Corinne Fisher, & Zac Amico | Childhood

Summary

Story Warz Episode 020 Summary: "Childhood"

Release Date: December 20, 2024
Host: GaS Digital Network
Guests: Nick Rochefort, Corinne Fisher, & Zach Amico

---

Introduction

Story Warz, hosted by Big Jay Oakerson and Lewis J. Gomez from the GaS Digital Network, brings together comedians and entertainment personalities in a competitive game of storytelling. In Episode 020, titled "Childhood," the hosts welcome three guests: Nick Rochefort, Corinne Fisher, and Zach Amico. The episode takes place live at The Stand Comedy Club in New York City.

---

Contestants Introduced

• Nick Rochefort: Known from Million Dollar Extreme and Perfect Guy Life, Nick brings his unique comedic style to the panel.

• Corinne Fisher: Featured in The Guys We Podcast and Without a Country Podcast, Corinne adds her sharp wit and humor.

• Zach Amico: From The Lewis and Zach Show and Zach Amico's Midnight Spook Show, Zach brings energy and a fresh perspective.

---

Game Rules Explained

[03:22] Lewis J. Gomez:
"Story War is a very, very easy game... If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that. It's your job to fool the other people on the panel to make them think it's not your story. If it isn't your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is."

• Scoring:
  • Correct Guess: 2 points
  • Fooling Others: 1 point per person fooled

The game revolves around each contestant submitting personal stories related to "childhood." These stories are anonymously presented, and players must discern authenticity while attempting to deceive others.

---

Round Summaries

Round 1: The Piggy Bank Incident

[05:03] Big J Okerson:
"This was the best one we've ever done."

• Story:
  "My mom once told me she would take me to the park for a million dollars. I broke my piggy bank to try to give her all of my money."
  (Timestamp: 05:03)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel debates the emotional weight of the story.
  • Corinne Fisher highlights the sad undertone, suggesting themes of maternal neglect.
  • Nick Rochefort and Lewis J. Gomez engage in banter about financial struggles and cultural stereotypes.

• Outcome:
  The story is revealed to belong to Big J Okerson.

Round 2: Neon Green Mishap

[13:25] Alex:
"My mom once called the doctor because I was shitting neon green. He asked what I had eaten, and she told him an entire box of Boo Berry cereal."
(Timestamp: 13:25)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel connects the story to Zach Amico due to its humorous nature.
  • Corinne Fisher and others discuss the improbability and exaggeration within the story.

• Outcome:
  The story is actually Zach Amico's, successfully deceiving the panel.

Round 3: Middle School Paralysis

[19:50] Alex:
"In middle school, I was paralyzed for two weeks, and everyone thought I was faking it."
(Timestamp: 19:50)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel scrutinizes the authenticity, debating which contestant's past aligns with the story.
  • Corinne Fisher reveals her actual experience, debunking assumptions.

• Outcome:
  The story belongs to Corinne Fisher, earning her points for accurately guessing.

Round 4: Underwear Run and Toe Incident

[26:40] Alex:
"I was running through the house in my underwear, and when my parent went to playfully kick me in the butt, a big toe went directly up my ass and I cried."
(Timestamp: 26:40)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel jests about the absurdity and physical comedy potential of the story.
  • Zach Amico and others engage in humorous speculation about the origins.

• Outcome:
  The story is Zach Amico's, further shifting the game dynamics.

Round 5: Grandmother's Beer Theft

[39:24] Alex:
"When I was a young child, I stole one of my grandmother's beers out of the fridge. My friend and I took one sip each, left it on the curb, and ran away from it. I ratted myself out later that night."
(Timestamp: 39:24)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel debates cultural aspects and feelings of guilt.
  • Corinne Fisher shares insights into her family's restrictions, adding depth to the narrative.

• Outcome:
  The story is revealed to be Lewis J. Gomez's, earning him points.

Round 6: Incestuous Encounter

[44:37] Alex:
"I had oral sex with a third cousin when I was 10 years old."
(Timestamp: 44:37)

• Discussion Points:

  • The story elicits strong reactions due to its sensitive and controversial nature.
  • Corinne Fisher speaks about her discomfort with inappropriate advances during childhood.

• Outcome:
  The story is Big J Okerson's, bringing intense emotions to the panel.

Round 7: Suspended for Getting Fingered

[53:09] Alex:
"I got suspended for getting fingered. It was really embarrassing."
(Timestamp: 53:09)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel navigates the complexity and embarrassment associated with the story.
  • Nick Rochefort provides humorous yet sensitive commentary.

• Outcome:
  The story is Nick Rochefort's, highlighting the competitive nature of the game.

Round 8: Lesbian Encounter at Warner Brothers Store

[61:28] Alex:
"When I was 11 years old, a mentally challenged adult came up to me at the Warner Brothers store to tell me I was sexy."
(Timestamp: 61:28)

• Discussion Points:

  • The panel discusses boundaries and childhood experiences.
  • Corinne Fisher shares her personal trauma, adding emotional depth.

• Outcome:
  The story is Corinne Fisher's, further intensifying the competition.

---

Final Scores and Winner

[67:00] Alex:
Final Scores:

• Corinne Fisher: 5 Points
• Zach Amico: 7 Points
• Big J Okerson: 13 Points
• Nick Rochefort: 16 Points
• Lewis J. Gomez: 16 Points

In an unexpected turn during the tiebreaker round, Zach Amico emerges as the winner with a total of 17 points, surpassing his competitors through strategic storytelling and successful deception.

---

Concluding Remarks

The episode showcases the dynamic interplay between hosts and guests, blending humor with personal anecdotes. Zach Amico's victory highlights his adeptness at navigating the game mechanics, while Corinne Fisher's honest and emotional stories resonate deeply with the panel. The competitive spirit and engaging banter make Episode 020 of Story Warz a memorable installment, illustrating the blend of wit and vulnerability that defines the show.

Notable Quotes:

• Lewis J. Gomez [03:22]:
  "Story war is a very, very easy game... If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that."

• Big J Okerson [05:03]:
  "This was the best one we've ever done."

• Nick Rochefort [53:16]:
  "You son of a bitch."

• Corinne Fisher [61:49]:
  "This made me so uncomfortable."

---

Closing

Episode 020 of Story Warz delivers a captivating blend of humor, personal storytelling, and competitive fun. With its engaging format and dynamic participants, the show continues to entertain and resonate with its audience, celebrating the diverse experiences that shape our childhoods.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

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[Zach Amico]

Fill her up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Big J Okerson]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the story warriors, Big J Okerson and Lewis J. Go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you, everybody. Oh, that's good Sunday afternoon energy right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Welcome to story wars, everybody. Let's pick it up in here, huh? We are your story warriors. Big J. Okerson, Louis J. Gomez, everybody. Thank you for joining us here on a very special daytime brunch Story Wars. Oh, what's her. Oh, God.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God, oh God. Hey, if we just get this light. There we go. Beautiful. There we go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you, G. That's probably why they weren't going nuts yet. Cuz thing didn't come on, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Welcome to Story War. Holy. We're doing. We're doing a few tapes for. For the holiday season. We're doing some special brunch shows. You guys are the best. Thank you guys for being here during the day and thank you for having that delicious looking steak in front of me. All I want is some of that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steak eating off the plates of the guests.

[Big J Okerson]

I. They shouldn't put it so close to me if they don't want me to eat it. Jay. They love it. See the way I love double points. They love when I eat their food.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Three people clapped because it was a whole. Everyone's just trying to give you food now. Like a bum. What a piece of. Oh. We have three amazing contestants today joining us on Story wars, everybody. Lewis, why don't you start introducing them?

[Big J Okerson]

Your first contestant on today's show. You know him and love him from Million Dollar Extreme, Perfect Guy Life and scuffed Realtor clapping up a side of chant for the one and only Nick Rocha Ford.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Our second contestant joining the show, everybody. You know her from the guys we podcast and the Without a country podcast right here on the guest digital network, everybody. How about it for the lovely and hilarious Corinne Fisher, everybody?

[Big J Okerson]

That was me, Corinne. And our last contestant, even more lovely and talented than the last one. Very beautiful. We love him. From the Lewis And Zach show and Zach Amico's midnight spook show. The living legend, Zach Amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Woo. Thank you all so much for being here with us on Story Wars. Before we get the game started, a quick explanation of the rules. Here we go. We got this. There we go. What you have? Did you drop steak? I did.

[Big J Okerson]

I freaked out. You mentioned rules, and then I started.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Story war is a very, very easy game. Everybody on this panel, including me and Lewis, have submitted three to five stories on today's subject, which is childhood. Childhood. Everybody. Everyone submitted their stories to Alex. Alex will read the stories off one at a time. You'll see them here on the screen. If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that it is your job to fool the other people on the panel to make them think it's not your story. If it isn't your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[Big J Okerson]

And if you guess the correct story, you get two points. And if you fool everybody, you get one point for every person that you fool. Sounds a little confusing, but I promise you guys, you'll catch on pretty quickly. Are you guys ready for war? That was the best one we've ever done.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was good. Wow, wow, wow.

[Big J Okerson]

We really got it after 21 episodes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That felt good. That felt better than I thought it was going to feel. And just you guys, if you think just playing for fun, you're not everybody. There always is a prize at stake here at Story wars. And this week's winner gets a brand new copy of I Dream of Water by Sean Small, a poignant and introspective memoir that explores themes of self discovery, personal growth, and healing.

[Big J Okerson]

I do not want to lose this book in the Story wars library, so we got to play extra hard today.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay, extra hard is Hester State.

[Zach Amico]

Now it looks like it should be. I dream of water and wake up screaming. I can't swim.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We should always say we have to make clear sometimes me and Lewis are not on the same team. We are playing against each other as well as against everybody else. But we are trying to keep the books in the Story wars library. So I say, are you ready for war?

[Big J Okerson]

Alex assigned McQ up story number one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That should be louder. That didn't hit anybody in the chest.

[Alex]

Story number one. My mom once told me she would take me to the park for a million dollars. I broke my piggy bank to try to give her all of my money.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, this feels like a girl story.

[Big J Okerson]

But it also, it's also, maybe it's a poor Mother who needs money. So, you know, that's not. You know, that could be anybody who was poor was. Nick. Nick, were you poor growing up?

[Nick Rochefort]

I was medium.

[Big J Okerson]

You were medium.

[Nick Rochefort]

King amongst homeless.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, yeah. Viking and addicted moms.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's nice, though.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, yeah, it was nice. It was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is nice.

[Nick Rochefort]

Big upper hand on my end.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. Corinne's parents had money. I think she's got money.

[Corinne Fisher]

Everyone thinks Jews all have money. Me and Roseanne didn't.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm Jewish also. We didn't have money as well.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, well, they're also very good at lying about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Nick Rochefort]

The best.

[Big J Okerson]

But you are Jewish, and you guys do control the banks. Do they control the piggy banks? I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, a Jew will do anything for a million dollars.

[Big J Okerson]

Also, like, I don't know if broke.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Has anything to do with this, though, necessarily. This could just be, like, not wanting.

[Big J Okerson]

To hang out with the kid at the park.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She doesn't want to go to the park. Yeah, yeah.

[Corinne Fisher]

It feels like an absent mom, and it's like a story, you know? I was gonna say whimsical, but it's not at all. It's actually quite sad. Does everyone here have a mom?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I think we all had moms at one point.

[Corinne Fisher]

No, I understand there's a 50.

[Big J Okerson]

50 shot. Zach was hatched from an egg.

[Zach Amico]

Are Jews allowed to use piggy banks?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Ooh.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh. Cause the kosher. Good question.

[Big J Okerson]

That is actually a great question.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, that is a good question.

[Zach Amico]

Their most favorite thing inside the thing they can't have. Yeah, it's a conundrum.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A Muslim calls it a swine bank. This. The more you made it sound like.

[Zach Amico]

Swine bank sounds like the ski resort your uncle owns.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The sadder you made it sound, Corrine, the more I'm thinking it's Louis who does come from a sad, sad past. And your mom does sound like that's something she would offer to you while nodding out.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom was a heroin addict, and she would have done anything for a million dollars. I gotta be honest with you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But my mother, we saw what she did for $50, remember?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll tell you right now, I had no piggy bank growing up. If I had a piggy bank, my mother already took all the money out of the piggy bank. So I will tell you very clearly, this is not me.

[Corinne Fisher]

Right. I will also. I want to think that, like, breaking a piggy bank feels like masculine, though. Like, you know, young Girls aren't violent.

[Big J Okerson]

That is true. Also, there's a little crazy bitch broke her piggy bank.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Nick Rochefort]

Lock it in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know. I really am. Corrine and Lewis, there's a.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a hole at the bottom of the piggy bank. You don't even talking about Corinne. You don't need to break the piggy bank. I feel like this was just in a moment of frustration. Maybe somebody with fat fingers who couldn't get their fingers up inside of the piggy bank. I'm going to actually vote first. Everyone accuses me of voting last.

[Zach Amico]

If you think I can't get fingers into a p.

[Big J Okerson]

My vote is officially for Zach. Attack Amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And Louis. Here's my problem. Corinne made me think Louis, but then I'm also thinking Corinne, and now I'm wondering if Corinne was just trying to throw me off by saying Louis. I'm going to go.

[Corinne Fisher]

Corrine, real quick, though, can you just raise your hand if you feel like you had a nice childhood?

[Big J Okerson]

A nice childhood?

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah. Okay. So that makes me think it's you or you.

[Big J Okerson]

Though this could easily be Nick.

[Nick Rochefort]

I think Jay's putting on the masterclass of acting right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Nick Rochefort]

I can hear it in his voice.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay is a very good actor.

[Nick Rochefort]

He's a very good actor, and I can smell a good actor. I'm gonna go with Jay on this one. The divide and conquer maneuver was a very good. Smart, clever, almost like he knew how to do it fundamentally.

[Big J Okerson]

Have you been friends with Jay for 20 years?

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now I think it's me.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Corinne Fisher]

Okay. To me, this feels like a bad childhood story. Although, I don't know. They're all probably gonna sound like that. I'm voting for Nick because of that. Because I don't think it's Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

And also, just so you guys know, once your answer is locked in on the board, you can't change it. That's that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, why are you voting so last?

[Zach Amico]

Oh, I feel like this is a girl's story because it's probably way less extreme than it's been written out to be. And I feel like this is an embellishment of the mom's, like, yeah, for a million dollars. And then the person went and broke their piggy bank, and it was kind of a non event. But to a girl, that's a story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's fair.

[Corinne Fisher]

Classic women are dramatic.

[Big J Okerson]

All stories are locked in. Whose story was it?

[Alex]

That was Big J Okerson's story.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Nick, you son of a bitch.

[Nick Rochefort]

I can smell an actor.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nick, you stopped Me from a clean sweep.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes. I see how they point at the houses with the people under the floors. George Soros tactics. Not on this room.

[Big J Okerson]

So what happened here, Jay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, some of you guys were kind of right into things. We were broke. My mom didn't want to go to the park.

[Big J Okerson]

And you did have fat fingers who couldn't fit in the bottom of the fucking tank. God damn it.

[Zach Amico]

I will say I kept catching his glove.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was like a little train car piggy bank. And I did. It had the rubber stopper thing on the bottom, but my fingers were too fat to do it all at once like that. And I thought it would be a nice dramatic gesture that I was willing to give everything I had possible by breaking the bank. And I think she took me. I think she took me to the bank.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you know, she took the money.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, definitely. She rolled it up. But yeah, so that was my. So I ended up going to the park for what was probably closer to A$50 in pennies.

[Corinne Fisher]

But it wasn't a pig at all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It wasn't a piggy bank. Yeah, no.

[Zach Amico]

It was a train equally Jewish.

[Corinne Fisher]

Holocaust.

[Nick Rochefort]

And you learn how to do that for the rest of your life to pigs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you're not wrong, dude. Really get. I do remember the motion of doing that. And then you would try to, like. You try to, like, jam up fast and let some of them fall out. It was the. Anybody who's ever been broke, if you're trying to get change out of the jug that you keep because you think we're gonna save change forever, and then you're like, no, I actually need that change right now. You know about the jam and try to get the fall out. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That is literally how we all learned how to finger fuck.

[Nick Rochefort]

You're right into a pile of cash and change, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. I'd always go, just like, my fingers smell like pennies. You wish money out of my piggy bank.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, where are our points at?

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have Zach Amico, Corinne Fisher, and Louis J. Gomez with zero points each, Nick Rochefort with two points and Big J Okerson with three.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Feeling good. I haven't won this game in quite some time.

[Big J Okerson]

It's been a while.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's been a while.

[Big J Okerson]

We say the story warriors always win, but the reality is I always win.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Surprise, surprise. All the people who do the scoring work for them. Surprise, surprise. All right. Looking good on the scoreboards, Alex. Story number two.

[Alex]

Story number two. My mom once called the doctor because I was shitting Neon green. He asked what I had eaten, and she told him an entire box of Boo Berry cereal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, is this more definitely Zach? It's not Zach because it was me.

[Zach Amico]

And it was last week.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's like, this is someone trying to sound exactly like Zach to throw us off.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, voting for me.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach, you currently look like Boo Berry.

[Zach Amico]

I look like Frankenberry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, it looks like you shit neon green. No matter what you eat, Zach's toilet.

[Zach Amico]

Those are my healthy ones.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, it's such as that. It's crazy. If it's not Zach, it's fucking crazy.

[Corinne Fisher]

Well, it's not you because the mom called the doctor.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is true.

[Nick Rochefort]

I was thinking the same exact thing.

[Big J Okerson]

She would have called, but the phone was off, so she's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I got to call the doctor.

[Nick Rochefort]

Doctor feels good on speakerphone, too, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

If it was l, it would say the whole bag of cereal because they.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Didn'T have box cereal.

[Big J Okerson]

I get what you're saying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean.

[Zach Amico]

And there were no spoons in the house.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is so on the nose. Zach, that. It's not Zach.

[Big J Okerson]

It can't be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Think it's Nick.

[Big J Okerson]

It can't be Zach.

[Corinne Fisher]

When was Booberry an actual cereal?

[Big J Okerson]

I think our entire life, really? And now only during Halloween time. Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think Corinne would tell a story about dropping a steamer.

[Corinne Fisher]

I wasn't allowed to eat sugary cereal, so I literally thought that Booberry was just, like, folklore.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah. I didn't know it was a real serious.

[Big J Okerson]

You thought it was a real ghost?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, she's like the legend of Booberry. He's a blue ghost.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, if I. Here's the thing. If I don't vote for Zach, it's. And it is him. It's just so obvious, and it's gonna make me furious.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know, I know. It's what I'm worried about. Not picking Zach. And then it's Zachary.

[Big J Okerson]

Also Nick right now. I noticed people do this a lot. They start to touch their face when they're trying to hide something. This is a psychological thing right now. And I do feel like Nick is giving tell right now.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, you're Sam Ace Rothstein, and I'm that cowboy who gets his hand smashed in the back.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like this is something in his pocket.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm this up.

[Big J Okerson]

It's either Nick or Zach.

[Corinne Fisher]

Wait, can Nick. Can you read this?

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah. My mom once called the doctor because I was shitting neon green. He asked what I'd eaten, and she told him an entire box of blueberry cereal.

[Corinne Fisher]

And. Zach, can you read it?

[Zach Amico]

My mom once called the doctor because I was shitting neon green. He asked what I had eaten, and she told him an entire box of blueberry cereal.

[Corinne Fisher]

See, that cadence sounds so natural.

[Big J Okerson]

It's too obvious a. Zach. So I'm gonna go first on every fucking round this week and still win this goddamn story war. I'm going for Nick Rocha for it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

That. That little tell on his face. He was touching his face. Self soothing. He's nervous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This would. This isn't Louis.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm gonna go. Zach. I know it's obvious, but, like, maybe that's the gameplay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm going with Nick. Damn it.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm gonna go with Luis.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going.

[Big J Okerson]

What did you draw? Is that my. Is that my total Audi?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah.

[Nick Rochefort]

It's a picture of your body shop sent me of your front vendor. Yeah, yeah. It's your insurer's face when he thinks all the. He's going to insure you from now on.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, don't worry. My baby's mama will have that car in her name.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All the answers are in Alex.

[Alex]

That was Zach. Amico.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach. Can you not tell such an obvious story, you piece of. Oh, I'm furious.

[Nick Rochefort]

We're splitting that book, Zach.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so obviously Zach.

[Corinne Fisher]

Good gameplay, Zach.

[Big J Okerson]

Is there anything more to this story? What did the doctor say?

[Zach Amico]

Fat fuck son ate a bunch of fucking purple shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what.

[Zach Amico]

If I drink the Darth Dew Slurpee, I still shit green.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, my God.

[Zach Amico]

Anything with purple or blue, I shit violent green.

[Nick Rochefort]

Everybody wants to see pictures of that, Zach, so please post.

[Zach Amico]

I would actually call it a forest green.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Nick Rochefort]

Good khaki, like a moss.

[Zach Amico]

I had a Crayola. Yeah, mossy. Mossy, like stuff that grew on Stephen King in Creep Show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, good reference.

[Nick Rochefort]

Something from the swamp, perhaps?

[Big J Okerson]

All right, what are our points, Alex? I'm getting my dick kicked in.

[Alex]

All right, on the scoreboard, I have Lewis with zero points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Idiot.

[Alex]

Nick and Corinne with two points each, and Zach and Big J with three points each.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, folks, pick up the energy. I know it's 1pm Everyone's. Everyone's drinking Bloody Marys and eating eggs Benedict. Pick up the energy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Last night was up.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank IP Vanish for supporting today's show. We love IP Vanish there. It's an important tool that allows you to safely surf the Internet without leaving a trace. We don't want to know how you spend your time online. I don't care what you're doing on weird websites.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do care, and I do want to know, but this is so I don't find out. We don't want to find out. But, boy, do I want to know.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

You can jerk off in Texas again. IP Ven.

[Big J Okerson]

Right now, in the future, everyone is going to be using a vpn. It's only a matter of time. Why not get in on it right now? You've heard of VPNs? Just go to IPVanish.com right now. They have different packages with affordable pricing, and when you use the promo code wars with a Z, they're going to give you an extra 10% off. So you're gonna already save a lot of money. You can get up to 85% off their usual offerings by just going right now to IPVanish.com and use that promo code wars with a Z to start protecting yourself online today. IPVanish.com. all right, where were we?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We ready for story number three.

[Alex]

Story number three. In middle school, I was paralyzed for two weeks, and everyone thought I was faking it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Corinne.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah. Someone obsessed with their own story. It's got to be Corinne.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, maybe. Paralyzed for two weeks, and everyone thought I was faking it, huh?

[Corinne Fisher]

Did everyone here go to middle school?

[Big J Okerson]

I showed up sometimes. Showed up every once in a while.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Paralyzed for two weeks. I feel that's devastating. I feel like I would know that it's not.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, how would you be paralyzed for two weeks and everyone think you're faking it? Like, even your parents thought you were faking it?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I currently think whoever it was was faking it. Who's paralyzed for two weeks? How does that happen?

[Nick Rochefort]

In middle school?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nonetheless. Huh?

[Nick Rochefort]

In middle school, Nonetheless.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's Nick, man.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm making points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No effing doubt.

[Zach Amico]

Part of me is like, was it just, like, a broken toe? And this was Corinne.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, you're saying again, I was overdrama. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Paralyzed for two weeks. God damn it. I. I would.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would know if it's Jay. Jay would have.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay would not the story if he.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was paralyzed for corn and I was paralyzed those two weeks.

[Corinne Fisher]

Wait, is everyone here a known liar or.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone. Every man here is a known liar. Yes.

[Corinne Fisher]

I like that. That was the first honest thing I've ever heard you say.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, most of us have been publicly exposed.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone thought I was faking. Yeah. So that's really it. Like, why would. It's somebody that people would not believe. I do feel like, Nick, you always have and always will have extreme bullshitter energy.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, I don't know you that.

[Nick Rochefort]

Maybe, maybe not.

[Zach Amico]

Either way, Nick, did you play sports growing up?

[Nick Rochefort]

I did.

[Zach Amico]

It could be a sports injury.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it could be a sports injury.

[Zach Amico]

Got hurt on the field and didn't want to play the next two weeks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never heard of full paralyzation for two weeks.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be Zach. It could be Zach. You know, sometimes, like, fat girls get pregnant and they don't know they're pregnant for a while. So maybe Zach was paralyzed and didn't.

[Zach Amico]

Realize that I was taking a big shit old green. He's back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Two weeks later, I fired a neon green. Shit.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I keep on voting Nick because I don't. Nick, every time I look at your face, it looks like you're hiding a secret.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm not hiding anything, Louis. And I don't know why he's saying that. It's kind of confusing me on why you even say that.

[Corinne Fisher]

But now he knows that you think when he touches his face, he's lying, so he could be doing it to throw you off.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you know what? I'm gonna. It's gotta be Nick at one point. If I just keep on voting n Nick.

[Corinne Fisher]

That's a good point.

[Big J Okerson]

It'll eventually be Nick.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'll split the money.

[Zach Amico]

Why do you just keep writing the first two letters?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm getting my vote in Nick Rochafort.

[Corinne Fisher]

I voted Nick already, but I think.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm vote Corinne on this one.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm voting Nick.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone voted Nick except for Nick. So I think this is going to be Nick.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, this is good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or someone just.

[Nick Rochefort]

Hell, yeah. You guys are all cte.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All the answers are in Alex.

[Alex]

Holy shit, you guys. That was Corinne Fisher.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'm pissed. I can't get a goddamn point today.

[Nick Rochefort]

Did you hear right away, as soon as the story was, she was like.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God, that's so awesome.

[Nick Rochefort]

Have you ever dated a Jewish girl in your life?

[Corinne Fisher]

Everyone laughed really hard. My delivery on that was pretty funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know what happened.

[Nick Rochefort]

You knew that Was gonna happen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Spice Girls broke up, Jay.

[Corinne Fisher]

So close. I think I was a little older when they broke up. But no, I was at a Chinese auction, which you're not supposed to say anymore. So it's a tricky. And I was sitting down, and when I went to get up, I just couldn't get up. My right leg would not move, and it would not move for two weeks. And I went to so many doctors in the emergency room, and they could never figure out what it was. And then the feeling in my leg just came back one day, like I couldn't go to school. I was bedridden. My right leg stopped. I was. I dragged it out of the Chinese auction.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If I were you, I'm assuming you live now in daily constant 24, 365. Fear of it happening again.

[Corinne Fisher]

I did feel like maybe it. Yeah, I actually. When I was on acid, I was like, maybe it'll come back again. But it never knock on what it never has.

[Big J Okerson]

What is a Chinese auction?

[Corinne Fisher]

Like, when you put.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You hire people. What is it trying to stamp?

[Big J Okerson]

Are you selling Chinese slaves?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

How rich was your family?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's how you staff a restaurant?

[Corinne Fisher]

This is hilarious, because when I knew I would have to explain this story, I knew you would ask just that question. No, it's just when you put you a number on a ticket, and so, like, 23 might always be my number. And I put 23 in cups in front of prizes that I want, and then they do a raffle for all the prizes in the room.

[Nick Rochefort]

They call it a Chinese auction.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, it's called a silent auction.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, it's called a Chinese auction.

[Big J Okerson]

Racists call it a Chinese auction. Nobody else. Except for actual Nazis.

[Corinne Fisher]

No, this. It's like a very, like, middle America kind of pastime.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where you guys at? Jap sale.

[Corinne Fisher]

They're super fun.

[Nick Rochefort]

I want a fruit basket at the Jap sale.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every ting must go. It's Sunday. It's Sunday, Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Give us the goddamn point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Alex]

You guys. Luis J. Gomez has zero points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whoa.

[Big J Okerson]

This has never happened. I've never been down this far ever, in the history of Storyworld, ever.

[Alex]

I have Big J. Okerson and Zach Amico with three points each. I have Nick with four points. And Corinne Fisher has taken the lead with five points.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

I hate all of the girl power going around the room right now, because usually it's just all dudes, and now the girls get to have their time to shine. Shut up, ladies. Get in the kitchen, ladies.

[Corinne Fisher]

You're blaming it on the six girls? That showed up.

[Nick Rochefort]

There's the Beyonce song from the ad from Instagram that got him here. Yeah, they thought they were getting a free Beyonce show when they came here.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, story number four.

[Alex]

Story number four. I was running through the house in my underwear, and when my parent went to playfully kick me in the butt, a big toe went directly up my ass and I cried.

[Big J Okerson]

This does sound like my origin story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I'll tell you why I think it's Louis. That singular parent really resonates my parent.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I think I. I think that Alex probably changed whatever it was. Father, father, or mother to parent. But why would she do that?

[Corinne Fisher]

Because you don't have.

[Big J Okerson]

Because I don't have a father.

[Corinne Fisher]

Father.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, because one's incest and the other one's gay incest.

[Corinne Fisher]

You know, Alex literally came into the green room before you got here and said that sometimes she was gonna change it. Cause she was like, you know, Lewis doesn't have a dick.

[Big J Okerson]

Right. So it's parent instead of. I see.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It kind of drives us to.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, maybe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think you would have told me, though, if your mom fucking towed your asshole before. I think it would have come up.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it would. I would have come hearing that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Corinne Fisher]

Playfully kicking in the butt, though, feels like a dad move. Moms don't really do that. Yeah, that doesn't feel like a mom move.

[Big J Okerson]

No, my mom wouldn't.

[Zach Amico]

We just learned all we need to know about Corinne and her dad.

[Nick Rochefort]

He's here.

[Corinne Fisher]

He might be. He's dead. He's everywhere.

[Zach Amico]

So he's definitely here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Toe is still lousy with your stink.

[Zach Amico]

It's right. He already had one toe in the dirt.

[Nick Rochefort]

He's her chair.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God damn it. I'm not playing the numbers. But this has to be Nick.

[Big J Okerson]

It does. It genuinely, at this point, has to be Nick.

[Corinne Fisher]

No, it could be you, because we haven't had a streak.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be anybody because you could do two stories in a row. It's all randomly generated.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Lewis's drug addicted mom didn't have the power to kick with such force that she would bury a toe in Lewis's. And I know from experience, tight ass.

[Big J Okerson]

It is a tight asshole. And especially when I was a young boy. You're not getting your big toe in my young boy. Who here has the largest asshole on the panel?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

You think is or has.

[Nick Rochefort]

Or was.

[Zach Amico]

I mean, Lewis's mom was on heroin, so she missed, like, Charlie Brown trying to kick the football. Hey, where are you going?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who most Likely on this panel is a gaper. I'm sorry, to use an industry term.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, Playfully sounds like protection, too. So that means they were molested. It was playfully.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Not like the other times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nick Rochefort]

The other times he was holding my throat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He said he was in the wrong room.

[Corinne Fisher]

I also don't feel like everyone would use the word playfully.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah. Only you.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I think when you say kick me in the butt, I think the assumption would be that they're abusing you. And this was just a little happy.

[Corinne Fisher]

Game of, oh, so it's definitely you because this is abused.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So he was like, oh, my God, she didn't call me a faggot after this.

[Corinne Fisher]

Right, right, right, right.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I mean, I. Once again, I'm gonna. I'm gonna go with Nick again just because I do feel like we haven't got a Nick story yet. I can't get a real read on him.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it looks like him and his dad get funny.

[Nick Rochefort]

Why you wouldn't be able to get a read on me, Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

Nick Grocer Fort. My final answer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Locked in.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm gonna go with. Oh, I'm gonna Lewis J. Again on this one. I think. I think he's protecting. He's doing a good job.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm voting Lewis just because I feel like I could hear him saying playfully.

[Zach Amico]

I'm going, curveball Corinne.

[Big J Okerson]

Curveball Corinne. That's her nickname in high school.

[Corinne Fisher]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. Yeah, I just say things sometimes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You were a. You were a great softball player.

[Big J Okerson]

You remember that time your leg didn't work? They used to call you Carebucker.

[Corinne Fisher]

Right?

[Big J Okerson]

And it was a whole thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, all the answers are in.

[Alex]

Answers are in. You guys. That was zachabee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn it, You. You fooled us all with running.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everyone mentally checked out when it said running.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody wanted to think about Zach in his underwear. Jose, imagine Zach running.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That kick wasn't playful.

[Big J Okerson]

And then also, I just can't imagine his toe getting past all of your ass meat to get into your asshole.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, that was your father trying to kill a furby he thought came to life.

[Zach Amico]

He was trying to kick the gerbil, right?

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah. Get him back in there. Kick your furry tail back up your ass.

[Zach Amico]

No, I was running through the house. I think I like going into the shower. My dad would have kicked me in the ass. And his big toe completely went up my ass to the point that now you fuck guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know, always searching for that Cinderella toe.

[Zach Amico]

The footage from. Nope. Where it's the horse and they show the horse. All four legs never hit at the same time. There was a point where all four of my limbs were in the air and my legs were off the ground, and I was just suspended by my asshole.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, don't you wish. Don't you wish you had fucking cameras in the house back then? You can see that picture of you being lifted by your dad's toe up your ass.

[Zach Amico]

I hit zero GS. I just. I literally was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn, dude, that could have been a traveling circus show when you were younger.

[Zach Amico]

And then I cried, and I heard my dad in the next room say to my mom, at least we know he's not gay. So gotcha. Gotcha, stinky toe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He still has that neon green under his toenail. Don't buy booberry.

[Zach Amico]

Oh, Shrek. Paul Amica.

[Big J Okerson]

All. All stories to do with. With are. Zak Amico moving forward. Yeah, God damn it.

[Corinne Fisher]

It was a dad story, though, and it was for some of the big asshole. So we made some movement.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We should have thought it out better.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, we should have brainstormed better.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The scores halfway through the game.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard. You guys, this is record breaking, groundbreaking.

[Corinne Fisher]

Damn it.

[Alex]

That. In the four in the fourth round, Luis J. Gomez still has zero points.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm pissed.

[Alex]

I have Big J in second place with three points. In third place, I have Nick with four points. In fourth place, Corrine with five points. And with seven points, Zach amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Did Zach fool everybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he fooled everybody.

[Alex]

Yes, he did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was a fucking running wow. Cocksucker. Let me tell you why I'm pissed. We're not playing for nothing here. Through the lens of the author's life experiences, particularly his struggles with addiction and trauma, I Dream of Water delves into the emotional and spiritual journey towards recovery. Water serves as a central metaphor in this narrative, symbolizing both cleansing and renewal. As Small reflects on the transformative power of confronting one's past and embracing a path towards renewal.

[Corinne Fisher]

Beautiful.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, our halftime scores are looking pretty bad for the story warriors here, but I'll tell you, I'm not in a full panic just yet.

[Big J Okerson]

Plugs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Plugs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You want to do plugs first?

[Big J Okerson]

We always do that first.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, Plugs, why don't we just.

[Big J Okerson]

Zachary, why don't we do the show as we've done it for 20 episodes?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, there's no need to fight. I said, sure. Let's do plugs.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach. Amiga, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Zach Amico]

January 11th, I got a new movie coming out called Bring on the Damned. It's going to Be at the Museum of Moving Image, January 11, 6:00pm Tickets on sale now. And if you're listening, when does this come out? This week, Next week. Oh, great. Next weekend with Juggalo Championship Wrestling with Insane Clown Posse. All weekend, call on the action. Go to Juggalo Championship Wrestling.

[Corinne Fisher]

Corinne, if you want to spend New Year's Eve with me, I do my yearly show, Corinne Fisher's morbid New Year's Eve at New York Comedy Club, east village. It's at 6pm it's me, Ryan Long, Chloe Labranche, Danny Polischuk, Harrison Greenbaum, Christina Hutchinson, and Lev Fur. It'll be a really fun night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nicholas.

[Nick Rochefort]

I think we're heading out to the Carolina. You know me, I was being really good at plugs. But next, third week of January, we're heading out Sam Hyde live for tickets. I think we're going to the Carolinas or somewhere or something in Louisiana. I have no idea. Sam and Nick's perfect clips on YouTube every Tuesday night. Scuffed Realtor is live. We look at houses and take a. Take a look at shit. And if you're thinking about looking for a house, just send me what you're looking at, and I'll just. I'll make fun of you for it. And. Yeah, that's it.

[Big J Okerson]

Mick, you got to do a car one day. You've been helping me try to get a new car, and it is. I know you know so much, but it's also hilarious to talk to you about it.

[Nick Rochefort]

It's. It's like, the serious part of my being. And. Yeah, and I'm trying to get you, like, to buy practical cars. Like he said to me, like, an Acura, please. And you're like, no, Bobby, I need.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he said. Like, he said, like, 2013 Acura. He's like, the resale value on this thing is great. I'm not buying a car from 2013, Nick.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, yes, you are. He can't help himself. He just can't do it. Instead, he's buying, like, the most, like, Dominican blue Acura. I'm like, no, no, no. Just get a silver one. He's like, no, no. How about the red one? The bright red one? God damn. Are also candy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just bought a house. I want you to look at it and tell me if I suck.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, yeah, I would love to. Nothing more.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

BigJComedy.com for all my dates. West Palm next weekend. After that, I'm doing two nights in Providence and then one night to Wilbur theater in Boston. Still some tickets left for that. And then Back for Sunday at in Providence. That's the weekend after Christmas. Legion of Skanks doing New Year's Eve at the Dojo Comedy all sold out. So fucking we look forward to seeing you guys there in the new year. I have Cleveland, Ohio. I'm all over the place. Look for a city near [e-mail] of course. Listen to Legion of Skanks right here on the guest digital network and the bonfire five days a week faction talk on SiriusXM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. And then I'll be getting these crowd work specials out to you real real soon.

[Big J Okerson]

Come see me live on the road. I'm going everywhere. We're finishing up my tour for this year this weekend in Austin, Texas. I'll be at the Creek and Cave doing shows on Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'm doing a depraved with an incredible lineup so get tickets for those. Those are all going to sell out. But brand new tour for the new year, the Bring 5 Friends tour. That's right, folks. Stop coming alone you losers. The amount of single guys in the crowd is crazy. Bring five friends in 2025 to see me on the road. I'm going to be going everywhere by January is really kicking up crazy. Columbus, Ohio, Rosemont, Illinois, Ontario, Canada, Montreal, Ottawa, North Charleston, South Carolina, Naples, Florida and more. Also, I have a brand new solo podcast that I just started. You can only get it by going to my website and subscribing to my email list. It's not public, it's not available for anybody else. So if you guys want that one, go sign up for my email list and obviously check out the Lewis and Zach show on the Gas Digital Network, Legion of Skanks and the Regs. Oh, and subscribe to Gas Digital if you love this show. We actually the we are now we have shows that you can only get. There's. There's episodes of Story Wars, I think two of them now that are only available for Gas Digital subscribers. So the latest 20 are available on itunes and everywhere else. But all the archives uncensored on on demand and ad free are [e-mail] so go to gasdigital.com and use the promo code war to get instant access to that show and many more. Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right. As we now reach our final four stories. It does look bleak for me and Louis, but I'll tell you that this.

[Big J Okerson]

Game, there's probably no way to catch up. Right, Jay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You'd be so wrong in saying that, Louis. Because for the final four questions, everything changes to double points.

[Zach Amico]

Almost like the first four rounds didn't matter at all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's almost.

[Zach Amico]

You just Steve Harvey'd us, you motherfucker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Completely fucking worthless.

[Corinne Fisher]

Wait, does this happen every time, or is this just for us?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This happens every time. Whereas the first four questions, fooling someone was worth one point and guessing the right person was worth two points. Now. Yeah, double points. The people have spoken, and they love double points.

[Big J Okerson]

They love it.

[Corinne Fisher]

They do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex. Story number five.

[Alex]

Story number five. When I was a young child, I stole one of my grandmother's beers out of the fridge. And my friend and I took one sip each, left it on the curb, and ran away from it. I ratted myself out later that night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, sounds like Corinne. This is Jewish guilt matched with my grandmother didn't drink beer.

[Big J Okerson]

That is a. That's a wild thing, Grandma to drink beer. Meemaw, that's white trash to the extreme.

[Nick Rochefort]

Bubby didn't drink beer. In no way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think my. You think my mom drank beers?

[Corinne Fisher]

This feels dirt back.

[Zach Amico]

You were trying to turn your Jewish guilt onto Corinne.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's very possible, but just grandmother's where they lost me.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a great point, Zach. I mean, it's a white trash thing. A grandma drinking beer is the trashiest fucking thing on earth.

[Zach Amico]

Not only will I say it's Jay's grandma, I'm gonna guess Yingling.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

The type of beer. In fact, I'll make an executive decision right now. I'll give Zach an extra point. If it was Yingling and it's J, it has to be Nick, right? Nick's had no stories, but neither have you.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but my grandmother didn't drink beer.

[Nick Rochefort]

It was but ice.

[Corinne Fisher]

Do you have a grandmother?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, I had a grandmother.

[Corinne Fisher]

I never know with you and family stuff.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel bad at people who locked in. I feel terrible.

[Nick Rochefort]

Jay's grandma drinking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, my sweet, sweet mam didn't drink beers. She was a ma mom in every sense.

[Corinne Fisher]

Well, now it might be Jay, but I already put my vote in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Nick Rochefort]

She had them left over from your bris.

[Corinne Fisher]

You're explaining too hard why it's not you. Now it's not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Corrine.

[Big J Okerson]

Ooh, all the stories. All stories are locked in.

[Alex]

That was Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn it. Clean sweep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I begged you all. My mom didn't drink beers.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, the ratting yourself out is very you.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't even know what type of beer it was. It was some sort of weird German. It had to be a really cheap beer. Something that had the word meister in it. M E I S T E R It ended with. And it was shitty, and I grabbed it. And then me and this kid, J R, J R Robertson, we both took one sip, we left it on the curb, and then I ran home and I was like, fuck, my grandma's gonna know. My mom's gonna beat the out of me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nana, that's the curb my mom works on.

[Big J Okerson]

So.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And then I ratted myself out. And I was like, please don't tell my mom. Like, I'm sorry. And of course they told my mom, and my mom beat the out of me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was the night she shoved a toe up your ass.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. No, that was Zach.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn. Fuck. That's a wow.

[Alex]

Okay, on the scoreboard, I have Big J Okerson in fifth place with three points.

[Big J Okerson]

Pathetic. Just pathetic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The game started. I was three.

[Alex]

Immediately, I have Nick with four points, Corinne with five points, Zach with seven points, and Luis J Gomez in the lead with eight points.

[Nick Rochefort]

Damn it. It's a rigged game.

[Big J Okerson]

And just like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I fucking hate this so much. But I gotta give credit where credit's due. That shift in points, that excitement in the room brought to you by double points, it really does stoke it up. Make shit exciting. God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'm giddy. I was actually upset.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know you.

[Big J Okerson]

I know the game doesn't matter and it's not real and this book doesn't matter, but I really want to win. Every time. I really want to win the box.

[Nick Rochefort]

Wearing with you bad. Now you want to win at everything.

[Big J Okerson]

Now I really just want to win.

[Nick Rochefort]

Punch the screen, Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay, let's take a quick moment and thank one of our incredible sponsors, which is Mando. I love Mando because it's not just regular deodorant for your armpits, but it is total body deodorant that you can use everywhere. Everywhere that you can stink. You could use Mando. Whether it's your armpits, your crack, your grundle, your balls, your feet, you put it on your feet, Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know. And now they keep cranking out new products, and this new 4 in 1 acidified cleansing bar comes to save the day. A 5 ounce bar that does the job of shampoo, face wash, body wash and deodorant. And it can also make a rich lather for a shave. So it's technically a five in one.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys. It's clinically proven to control odor for a full 24 hours. Mando's Bar is formulated with gentle alpha hydroxy acid that stops odor at the source. So while you might not know what ph means, you can trust us that this bar works. Just go to shopmando.com and when you check out, use the promo code wars with a Z. You're gonna get $5 off their best selling starter pack, which comes with a stick deodorant, a cream deodorant, and you could choose two products of your choice. I always choose the ball wipes, the deodorizing wipes. You take them on the go. Some people call it a Puerto Rican shower.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, your balls have been smelling better lately.

[Big J Okerson]

You're right. Shopmando.com use that promo code wars with a Z. All right, where were we?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, story number six.

[Alex]

Story number six. I had oral sex with a third cousin when I was 10 years old.

[Nick Rochefort]

Holy.

[Zach Amico]

How old were you for the first two?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ah, that was so in pocket though, it makes me think it was Zach.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, here's the thing. I know that's perfect. I know that Jay had oral sex with like his third or fourth cousin when he was a little kid, but I don't think this is his story because he knows that. We all know that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Told you guys that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. Wonder if you had oral said, but you around with her or whatever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ew.

[Zach Amico]

No wonder my mom needed a beer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She didn't drink beer. That was Lewis's piece of grandmother, Grandma Rose. Grandma Rose.

[Big J Okerson]

Also the same grandma that used to call me the N word.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Nick Rochefort]

She had a good sense of humor then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, crushing a Lowen brow calling you the N word.

[Big J Okerson]

She was right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That lady ruled. I bet she wrote a Harley.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I have a feeling this also screams Nick. But if it's Jay.

[Zach Amico]

If it's Jay, this third cousin.

[Nick Rochefort]

Fuck you, dude. Fucking asshole.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach, this show was made for you. Yeah, it's just non stop setups. I mean, did Jay just forget about telling me about his sexual escapades with his family members?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stop it. I tell you all of my incest stories.

[Corinne Fisher]

When do you think he told you? On air or off?

[Big J Okerson]

He told me on air years ago on Skanks. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about it. Huh.

[Zach Amico]

What exactly is the relationship that makes a third cousin?

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, I don't know either how far.

[Nick Rochefort]

Like, what is a cousin's cousin?

[Big J Okerson]

A third cousin.

[Corinne Fisher]

That was a very quick.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, Nick's your cousin's cousin. You know, like your aunt's cousin.

[Zach Amico]

Legal in 43 states.

[Nick Rochefort]

You know, the one at the cookout, the hot one.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I think third Cousin. Is it even blood at that point?

[Nick Rochefort]

No.

[Corinne Fisher]

You guys are close.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, hold on.

[Zach Amico]

It is if it's her first time.

[Nick Rochefort]

Just exploratory head.

[Big J Okerson]

This rules.

[Alex]

So third cousins is when you have the same great grandparents.

[Big J Okerson]

The same great grandparents. So great. So Grandma Rose's family was great.

[Alex]

I'm sorry. When you have the same great great grandparents.

[Corinne Fisher]

Great, great grandparents. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that's nothing. This is above board. This sounds worse than it is.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I have to give cry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, then it is me. Yeah. And she was hot.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just going. I'm going with numbers here. I feel like we haven't had a Nick story yet. Nick. I could see Nick eating out his cousin in a heartbeat. Who?

[Nick Rochefort]

My cousin Jen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Going, Zacky. I'm going, Zachy.

[Nick Rochefort]

She's got a sick body. I'm gonna go with Jay. And then the spiral symbol and then the butterfly pedophile symbol as well.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that the symbol?

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, that's the symbol. I learned that at the Podesta Brothers art house. That was fun.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm going with Nick because he riffed a lot on this one. Like he has jokes about it.

[Zach Amico]

I'll tell you what I'm hung up on. Had oral sex. Not gave or received.

[Nick Rochefort]

Ooh, damn it. It was Corinne.

[Zach Amico]

I think if a guy said it, I had oral sex would mean he ate out a chick.

[Corinne Fisher]

A girl. A 10 year old girl. Unless something really bad happened to her is not doing this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

10.

[Zach Amico]

Well, tell Frankenberry everything that happened.

[Nick Rochefort]

You were molested.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Frankenberry keeps all your secrets.

[Zach Amico]

Show me on the yummy mummy.

[Nick Rochefort]

Your uncle loves your pubes.

[Zach Amico]

You know what? Just to keep things shook up, Corinne.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Zach Amico]

Just to keep it shook up.

[Big J Okerson]

Listen to me. If this is Corinne's story, I will jerk off later.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Zach Amico]

And if it's not, he'll jerk off later.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know she can tell a story and be like. So my girl cousin comes over like, oh, what? What? Slower.

[Zach Amico]

We were on our period, so they both had us in the tent in the backyard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

None of us wrapped our brains around that being the possibility.

[Big J Okerson]

Imagine it was two girls. Oh, that's so hot. Please be two girls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We had to practice. Damn, I hope Zach can gets these points.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex. Break our hearts.

[Alex]

That was Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Corinne Fisher]

Damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

It was you.

[Nick Rochefort]

Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I knew it was him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys should roll with Nick. He fucking sees right through me.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay, did you forget he's through?

[Zach Amico]

Did you fucking submit stories?

[Nick Rochefort]

No.

[Corinne Fisher]

Jesus.

[Nick Rochefort]

I knew better. I was too busy getting ahead for my first Cousin. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stories.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, I'll send them to you later, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay, you completely forgot that you told me that you had oral sex with your third cousin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When I wrote it down, I was kind of like, I'm ready to face this.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, fuck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. We were doing. We were playing what we called house, but it was me basically licking her little cooch.

[Big J Okerson]

And then, well, you were refinishing her basement.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice. I.

[Zach Amico]

People hiding in the attic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pop walked in, I hopped up, blamed her immediately. I said, she made me. He went, dinner's ready. And I was.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay's like, no, I'm full.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I ate at the office. And Pop. Pop, to the best of my knowledge, took that right to the grave.

[Big J Okerson]

Some say it's what killed him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But just so you know, just so you guys know, I've gotten better at eating pussy. She didn't come, but that wasn't my fault. No, no, no. She was difficult, I think. I think it was her own shit.

[Zach Amico]

Is this how you guys get a taste for.

[Big J Okerson]

That? That story is wild.

[Zach Amico]

Capers on her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's a wild story for sure. I agree.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, where are points at?

[Alex]

All right on the scoreboard. In fifth place, I have Corinne with five points. Then I have Zach Amico with seven, Nick with eight, Lewis with eight, and Big J with nine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Wow, that feels noisy.

[Big J Okerson]

It really is anybody's game with at this point, folks.

[Nick Rochefort]

Neck and neck. Man, the cops are gonna come here. After that last story, though. That's. That's happened. Yeah, that was like a fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm in it to win it because I dream of water is the artistically stunning and hope filled telling of the story of one girl who was given the opportunity to fly when her village was gifted with clean water. Water is basic. Water is life.

[Zach Amico]

Jay dreamed the water after he ate his cousin's matzo pussy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, you know what's funny? She was a ginger, and because of her weird freckles, I wouldn't share a fork with her once. But I ate her box. Make it make sense.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry, Miss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, no, I've grown up. But if you notice, when you gave Lewis a piece of your steak, I was like, you're lovely aunties.

[Big J Okerson]

What story on number seven?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Number seven. Story number seven.

[Alex]

Story number seven. I got suspended for getting fingered. It was really embarrassing.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Corinne, if you're just doing a puzzled face is my favorite thing ever.

[Nick Rochefort]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

I got suspended for getting fingered. It was really embarrassing. I mean, this is the thing where.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

None of us pick Corinne, if that.

[Big J Okerson]

If we don't pick Corinne, and it's Corinne. I'll kill myself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I mean.

[Big J Okerson]

I will actually kill myself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm like, corinne wouldn't do this with a room full of dudes.

[Big J Okerson]

It's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. This is so much.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like Alex also wouldn't have put this story in had it been. There's no way it's Corinne. It can't be Corinne. But it could be Nick.

[Nick Rochefort]

No, it's not.

[Big J Okerson]

He's done this every time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna fucking kick myself in the ass for this, but I'm. God damn it, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

We can't all vote for Nick and have it be Corinne and have her win story worse off of the most obvious female story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We did this with Zach with his fucking neon shits.

[Nick Rochefort]

He's already told us he's fingered once. I'm not taking a Zach story on the nose again.

[Zach Amico]

I've been toad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And that was family. That was family.

[Corinne Fisher]

I gotta be honest, I'm more offended that you guys think I was ever suspended dead.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You knew where to get fingered quietly.

[Big J Okerson]

I got susp.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't get caught in the boiler room.

[Big J Okerson]

There's got to be more to this. The words are, I know everyone here.

[Corinne Fisher]

Went to high school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on, stop it.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, it doesn't say high school.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, but suspended feels high school. You. You have to be, like, doing crazy to get high school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're not. You are. But she does make a good point, Zach. It doesn't say high school, but, I.

[Nick Rochefort]

Mean, like, you should also be getting.

[Zach Amico]

Fingered in grammar school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah, you get suspended and sent to, like, therapy or something. They'd be like, who's hurting you at home?

[Nick Rochefort]

Depends on how loud they were getting fingered, too. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

I got suspended for getting splashing.

[Corinne Fisher]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, it could get. Zach was bisexual.

[Corinne Fisher]

That's what I was thinking. Yeah. Is there anyone? Is nobody.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys don't get. Wait, I got.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, if you get caught getting fingered as a guy in high school, you have to beg your mother to move. You need to get into a different school district.

[Zach Amico]

Mom, move out of this way. The guy's trying to finger me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, never stopped you before.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I have had a finger up my ass, but that I didn't deal. I didn't start doing fingers up the ass play until this past gank fest. So I don't. Who's doing that in high school, right? And who's getting suspended?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nick is. I'm betting Nick is like, who's putting their.

[Big J Okerson]

Who's putting their legs back and having a girl finger them in school to the point where they can get caught. That's a whole bunch of shit.

[Zach Amico]

It wasn't just two dudes fucking around and being like, credit card. And that was what happened.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe. I don't know. I'm going with Nick, though, because for the sure numbers of it, it has.

[Zach Amico]

To be Nick by the.

[Nick Rochefort]

By the. The numbers that has to happen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What if somebody was like, oh, they could. What if you just came out of health class and you were like, hey, want to go check each other's prostates? Right?

[Nick Rochefort]

You hear there's a The American Pie movie that says, you finger my ass and I come a lacrosse stick or.

[Zach Amico]

Something just for the sake of there being somebody getting points on this. If it's not Corinne, it's Nick. If it's not Nick, it's Corinne. So I'm going Corinne.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm going with Zach. It just feels like something that you. I don't think you would be embarrassed, that being said, but it just feels like something you would do because, I don't know, you feel. I feel like you're kinky.

[Zach Amico]

I think it's the really embarrassing part makes it not me.

[Corinne Fisher]

I agree. But I don't know. Maybe you've changed.

[Zach Amico]

I don't know. No, I was king of the queers then, too.

[Corinne Fisher]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right. Everyone's locked in. Alex.

[Alex]

The story warriors are correct. That was niche.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I got in a lot of trouble in eighth grade as the story warriors.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Emotional. Emotional problem.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yeah, yeah, that was the story was like, you told us you were gonna, like, you know, modify them for. To fit. To make sense. This is the best modification I've ever seen. This might as well have been in, like, Swahili. Well, basically, I got suspended for fingering a lot in eighth grade, and I got suspended for, like, a deep sexual harassment. All these parents came into school, and they were like, this guy's fingering my daughter. And it was nasty. I got, like, thrown out of school for being, like, a fucking pervert. And it wasn't that bad. It was basically just, like, horny, you know, teens, and we're just fingering them a lot and getting head changes, though. It totally does.

[Big J Okerson]

Hold on. Alex, Alex, explain yourself here. Why. Why would you change?

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, and I wrote I got fingered.

[Alex]

In this, because if he said fingering.

[Corinne Fisher]

I would definitely say Nick or Lewis.

[Alex]

He wrote the words, I had been suspended for getting fingered. Yes, I have it. I have it right here.

[Corinne Fisher]

Like, they thrown out.

[Nick Rochefort]

Ah, damn it. I Thought it would be a.

[Corinne Fisher]

This is unfair.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a minute. Hold on. What is the story?

[Nick Rochefort]

I was gonna use, like, fingering loosely. You know what I mean? Getting fingered or fingering? I don't know. I fucked this up bad.

[Corinne Fisher]

So you kept fingering chicks, and then you got kicked out of school.

[Nick Rochefort]

And the best part of the story was I got thrown out of school. I come back, one of the girls was my friend. She confided to me that she brought a bottle of vodka to school in eighth grade. And I instantly went down and ratted them all out, and they all got suspended immediately. That was the way that story was supposed to run. I was like, they're out there drinking. Nicole and Melinda, they're all out there. And the vodka bottles in Jamie White's backpack, and they all got spinning on the way out. I was like, fuck you. Remember this one? And that's what happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oops.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oops, Sorry. So a little bit of lying about getting fingered, but.

[Zach Amico]

So the story is Nick got charged with digital rape.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I never want our contestants upset. Is correct in. Do we.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I. I mean, I. Look, I think we played the game the way we played the game.

[Corinne Fisher]

I didn't know you could just, like, make things up. I would have lied.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was.

[Big J Okerson]

It. It. It is questionable. There was a little bit of an asterisk. No matter who gets this Story warriors book in the Story War Championship, there'll be an asterisk in the history book.

[Corinne Fisher]

It's tarnished.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's tarnished.

[Corinne Fisher]

Okay.

[Nick Rochefort]

I love lying. My. My fault.

[Big J Okerson]

Just like Nick's fingers were tarnished.

[Nick Rochefort]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

So where are our points at, Alex?

[Alex]

All right, everybody on the scoreboard, I have Corrine with five points. I have Zach with seven points. I have Nick and Lewis with 12 points each, and Big J. Okerson with 13 wows.

[Zach Amico]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, your mic is very low. I want him to hear it better. All right, everybody, it is anybody's game. Corrine, it's a very long shot.

[Corinne Fisher]

I know. Well, honestly, if Lewis loses, we all win.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I'll tell you. You know what that's called? Do you know what that's called in the business?

[Corinne Fisher]

What? Oh, double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Giant Killer. Yeah.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, Giant Killer.

[Big J Okerson]

You could play Giant killer at this point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Corinne, you could play Giant Killer.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody knows. Nobody cares.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, guys, real quick. Let's talk about one of our awesome sponsors over here at Story wars, and that is my bookie. Everybody, come on. Football's happening right now. Basketball is rolling. Turn this season into your best winning season yet with my bookie. It's very, very easy. Every game becomes much more interesting when you have a little bit of skin in the game. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

They be easy to use. Interface. I don't give a about sports at all, but when I'm watching fights or mma, you throw some cash on it, you're going to care so much more. You're going to be jumping out of your seat. That is probably the best way to enjoy sports.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you can bet on every play with. With my bookie dot com. It's pretty amazing. You know, there's 180 plays in the average college football game. Come on, get in on the action.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. So 180 opportunities to lose your child's college fund.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So many opportunities. But think about this. They can go to college three times if you do good.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, you're probably going to do good right now. Just go to my bookie.com and use the promo code wars with a Z to claim a bonus of up to $1,000 on your first deposit. That is right. Wars with a Z to kick off your football season playing with house money. Once again, that is mybookie.com use that promo code wars with a Z. All right, where were we?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex? Our eighth and final story.

[Alex]

Story number eight. When I was 11 years old, a mentally challenged adult came up to me at the Warner Brothers store to tell me I was sexy.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, who was sexy at 11?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, Corinne's the only person who wouldn't say retard, Corinne.

[Corinne Fisher]

I would say I was a little sexy.

[Nick Rochefort]

You were sucking on your fingers towards a retard. So, yeah, you left out I wasn't.

[Corinne Fisher]

Still sucking my fingers when I was 11.

[Big J Okerson]

You left out the part of the story where you were doing this to him. I was not sexy when I was 11 years old. I was a little pudgy fat kid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but to a down symphony, maybe.

[Big J Okerson]

I guess, to be honest with you, I did look a little downsy and I would have been a hot Downsy kid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that's nice. When you're a trophy for something below.

[Corinne Fisher]

You, beauty isn't the high of the beholder, you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So Warner Brothers, the lazy eyes of the beholder.

[Corinne Fisher]

Is Warner Brothers store like a regional thing or is that. Does everyone here know what the Warner Brothers store is?

[Big J Okerson]

Corinne's, I think Corinne's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I currently don't still know what she's.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't know the Warner Brothers or.

[Zach Amico]

The Disney Store, but for Warner Brothers.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you'd get a daffodil. Bugs Bunny in a Mall.

[Zach Amico]

My question is, we assume Corinne, but did one of us dress up like a sexy girl bunny.

[Nick Rochefort]

In order to.

[Zach Amico]

Fool a retarded person at the Warner Brothers store?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ooh, were you out there combing for compliments, maybe?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, look, we heard 11 years old, sexy. Everyone immediately went to Corinne. For some reason, like, my mind, I was like, I bet Corinne was a hot little girl.

[Corinne Fisher]

Oh, my God, Louis. I bet you you're not gonna be able to release this episode.

[Big J Okerson]

No, we'll release it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Corinne, if I was your cousin, I would've eaten your pussy. Can I tell you something? It would have been my honor. Corinne, look at me. It would have been my honor.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, well, it wasn't a family member, so it wasn't Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, gosh, to tell me I was sexy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, Lewis might wanna tell us all that someone called him sexy, even if it was a goofball. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you think that I have an ego like that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Possible.

[Big J Okerson]

No. I am sexy. I don't need people to tell me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There you go.

[Nick Rochefort]

The name dropping of the Warner Brothers store is a very, like, you know, LA lots and lawyers and agents. That's. I'm leaning in one direction over here. Whose parents would bring them to a studio lot if they didn't want to get them molested. That sounds like Macaulay Culkin's parents or something like that. Which sound like your parents going to have to do that.

[Corinne Fisher]

Sorry, we just met today when I.

[Nick Rochefort]

Met your parents for clams last year.

[Zach Amico]

You're from Jersey.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah, I'm from Jersey.

[Zach Amico]

All right. I'm going, Corrine. Because Warner Brothers store is a trashy mall thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

And I have a feeling if Corinne's upbringing was like mine, we spent a lot of time hanging out at trashy malls.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm so flattered that you guys all think I was so hot at 11.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, you were a retard. 11.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna go with Corinne just because I'm not gay and I won't call a man sexy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think every girl on this panel is sexy. And I'm saying, Nick.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, I wish.

[Zach Amico]

It could have been a woman.

[Corinne Fisher]

I'm doing something strategic.

[Nick Rochefort]

Oh, nice.

[Big J Okerson]

It was Corinne.

[Nick Rochefort]

Hell, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't get the points for your voting for yourself, though, Corinne.

[Corinne Fisher]

There's. I thought.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't matter. It's a good fucking dick in the face. I like it.

[Corinne Fisher]

Also, that rule wasn't present. I didn't think we were following rules today, so I think I should get points.

[Big J Okerson]

Fine. Give current the Points. It doesn't matter. Alex. Officially.

[Alex]

Officially. That was Corinne Fisher.

[Nick Rochefort]

Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah. Hi.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How long in the dating did you find out? He was.

[Corinne Fisher]

Honestly, I. When I. There was more information, I said, I think about this incident almost every day of my life. Like, it. It haunts me. It made me feel so uncomfortable. I was like. Like, between, like, 9. 9 and 11. And. Yeah, just having an adult. He was Muslim, man.

[Nick Rochefort]

She was behind 911.

[Corinne Fisher]

Just having an adult man call you sexy when you're a child, even though I recognized that he was mentally challenged, was, like, really? It made me so uncomfortable.

[Big J Okerson]

And did he say it to you, or did you say, it's your parents? That's what I would.

[Corinne Fisher]

My parents. My parents weren't around. I was helping my little brother on, like. There was this game that I loved where you could press the colors, and then you touch the screen, you press.

[Big J Okerson]

Your tits against a window and let.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was your fault. You spit it. You were like, am I?

[Corinne Fisher]

No, it. Like, really?

[Big J Okerson]

I was playing the sexiest game in them all.

[Nick Rochefort]

I think I'm getting my period soon.

[Corinne Fisher]

And that's it.

[Big J Okerson]

And he said it to you? He came in, he was like, you're. You're sexy.

[Corinne Fisher]

Honestly, that's. That I just triggered just now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Not bad yourself there, Spittle.

[Corinne Fisher]

Yeah. And he came up, and I just was like. I just, like, scooted my brother away, but it ruined the game for me, and I really liked that game. I could never go in the Warner Brothers store again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, let's get our official winner here. This is crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Did you warn your brother? This is a horny retard.

[Alex]

On the scoreboard, I have Corinne Fisher.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, hang on, Alex.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the final scores. Put some oomph into it. Our final scores, everybody.

[Alex]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wake up.

[Alex]

Our final scores, everybody. On the scoreboard, I have Corinne Fisher with seven points.

[Corinne Fisher]

Thank you for those two points. Thank you, everybody.

[Alex]

Zach Amico is on the board with. With 11 points. In fourth place, Big J. Okerson with a total of 13 points. And tied for first place, I have Luis J. Gomez and Nick Rochefort with 16 points each.

[Big J Okerson]

We have still never figured out how to do a tiebreaker.

[Nick Rochefort]

I'm not doing what you think you want to do. Go homeless people in the park. I'm not doing that.

[Big J Okerson]

How do we do a tiebreaker? We haven't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One more story.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but we all have to. We all have to choose different people. That's, like, the rule.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's. It's speed. I think we said you Go. You got to write your answer fast.

[Big J Okerson]

But if you get it, fat. But if you're not. Yeah, you have to choose. Everyone has to choose a different person. Because if. Otherwise there's going to be another tiebreaker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So if you go. I'm saying so there's. The incentive is to go as fast as possible.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you gotta be. The faster you get the name down, the faster it is. Ready? One more story. Alex. Tiebreaker round. Let's go.

[Alex]

When I was five, I asked the lesbian who lived next.

[Big J Okerson]

Not you. Fast. We have to be.

[Corinne Fisher]

Wait, is this only for Louis and Nick? Nick?

[Big J Okerson]

No. We could all vote, but I think me and Nick can only win, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, everyone's back in. No, we're not all back in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

Fine. I guess we're all back in.

[Corinne Fisher]

Triple points.

[Big J Okerson]

Fine. That's it. That's. That's officially what we're gonna do. Everyone's back in. Everyone has to do. You can't vote for the same person, and that's that.

[Corinne Fisher]

You mean. What do you mean you can't vote for the same person? What does that mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So if the. Your incentive is to vote immediately and.

[Corinne Fisher]

Call out your call, we all have to have. We all have to change.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Got you.

[Corinne Fisher]

Gotcha.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, Alex, our official overtime story.

[Big J Okerson]

Normal speed.

[Alex]

Story number nine. When I was five, I asked the lesbian who lived next door if she was a boy or a girl. And then I explained to her that my family had told me she was both like Pat from Saturday Night Live.

[Zach Amico]

Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was in.

[Nick Rochefort]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

What you gotta do.

[Nick Rochefort]

Hell, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, wait. Who had Jay first?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He had Jay first.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Zach Amico]

Then I changed mine to Liz.

[Big J Okerson]

You can't just say it out loud.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You son of a bitch.

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta write it down.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, who didn't get voted for yet?

[Nick Rochefort]

Who'd you vote for?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ah, you all. You cocksuckers. I don't care. Alex, who was it?

[Alex]

Who is Crin's vote?

[Corinne Fisher]

Zach.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach.

[Alex]

Okay, well, it was Zach Amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Nick Rochefort]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Great news, everybody. Game still died.

[Big J Okerson]

This is why you can't have everybody vote.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, wait, wait.

[Zach Amico]

Doesn't it. She was right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It should have been triple points. Does it matter if it was triple points? Does Corinne win?

[Big J Okerson]

No, no. She still would have lost.

[Zach Amico]

No, but don't I get six points?

[Corinne Fisher]

If it was triple points, theoretically, would I win?

[Alex]

Yeah. Well, Zach Amico gets six points, so that's going to bring him up to 17, which is a winner.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach's the winner.

[Alex]

Zach's the winner.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Zak, Amico.

[Nick Rochefort]

Tone it up the rear the whole game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You are taking home I Dream of Water by Sean Small. The narrative of I Dream of Water is raw, reflective, and ultimately hopeful, offering readers a glimpse into the process of healing and the resilience of the human spirit. That's what you take home with you tonight, Zack Zach. And you are officially dubbed a story warrior, Zack Amico. Make some noise for him, everybody. And how about a big round of applause for the entire panel up here, everybody. All your story warriors, Nick Rocha, Ford, Corinne Fisher. Zach Amico. We are your story warriors. Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Okerson. We will catch you next time on Story Wars. Good night.