026. H. Foley, Colum Tyrrell, & Josh Adam Meyers | Birthdays

Summary

Story Warz Episode 026: Birthdays – Featuring H. Foley, Colum Tyrrell, & Josh Adam Meyers

Released on January 31, 2025

Introduction

In Episode 026 of Story Warz, hosted by the GaS Digital Network, comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Louis J. Gomez welcome their guests: H. Foley, Colum Tyrrell, and Josh Adam Meyers. Filmed live at The Stand Comedy Club in New York City, this episode centers around the theme of "Birthdays," where participants share personal stories in a game of deception and wit.

Notable Quote:

• Colm Turrell [00:13]: "Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story Wars with the Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and Louis J. Gomez."

Game Overview and Rules

H. Foley introduces the game mechanics, explaining that each panelist has submitted five stories related to birthdays. Producer Alex reads each story one by one, and the panel must guess the story's author. Points are awarded based on correct guesses and successful deceptions.

Notable Quote:

• Henry Foley [02:42]: "If you're new to Story wars, we're not here just dicking around for no reason, okay? You come here to win something."

The prize for this episode is a copy of The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson, a heartfelt novel about sibling bonds amidst personal turmoil.

Round 1: Identifying the Story Owner

1. Story 1 [03:19 – 09:06]: "I accidentally threw a birthday cake out the back door of a car."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Louis suspects Colm due to his humor about mishaps.
     • Colm and Big J argue over ownership, ultimately revealing it belongs to Colm.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Colm Turrell [07:29]: "The trick is no apple or cake."

2. Story 2 [12:26 – 17:35]: "I gave my friend a framed Ninja Turtles poster for his birthday and he called it a shitty gift."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Henry theorizes it's Jay due to his known affinity for specific gifts.
     • Colm and Louis debate but conclude it's Colm.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Henry Foley [15:36]: "I don't like real thick, heavy icing at all. I'm a whipped cream icing. Oh, I would say is the best icing."

Score After Round 2:

• Josh Adam Myers: 4 points
• Colm Turrell, Big J, Henry Foley, Louis J. Gomez: Various points

Round 2: Continuing the Deception

3. Story 3 [20:48 – 26:08]: "My girlfriend threw a surprise party for me. In the middle of the party, two of my friends fought. One of them had their nose broken and bled all over the floor."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Louis and Henry lean towards Josh's tendency for chaotic events.
     • Colm suspects himself due to his prior points.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Louis J. Gomez [25:02]: "He was like, happy birthday, John."

4. Story 4 [27:46 – 41:43]: "I went to a birthday party at McDonald's when I was a kid. They had someone dressed up like Ronald McDonald at some point. I was in the bathroom, and I caught a peek of his huge hog."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Henry suspects himself due to his storytelling style.
     • Colm and Louis debate, ultimately attributing it to Colm.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Colm Turrell [33:08]: "They had a ball pit where we grew up... hide under the balls."

Score After Round 4:

• Big J Okerson: 22 points (Leading)
• Josh Adam Myers & Henry Foley: 14 points each
• Colm Turrell: 3 points

Round 3: Final Deceptions and Conclusion

5. Story 5 [43:04 – 49:57]: "At a friend's birthday party, I threw a cake at the magician during his act."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Henry identifies this as his own story due to personal anecdotes.
     • Others argue over possible authors, with Louis misattributing.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Henry Foley [45:00]: "My story's about not a drinking. When I went to my friend's out do some drugs."

6. Story 6 [51:46 – 58:08]: "After a night of drinking, I went to a friend's house to do some drugs. An hour into the hang, her place was raided by the police. I tried to use my birthday as a way to not get arrested."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Louis and Colm attribute this to Henry based on the content.
     • Final confirmation reveals it was Josh's story.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Josh Adam Myers [57:00]: "Cause you know, this is like prom and where you guys have events for people's stuff..."

7. Story 7 [60:10 – 68:14]: "One birthday, I wanted a handheld video game system. My family told me they couldn't afford it and that they bought me cowboy boots instead. They were kidding, but I ended up upset about not getting the cowboy boots."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Henry and Colm suspect Jay due to unique gift preferences.
     • Ultimately, Big J claims the story as his own.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Big J Okerson [61:22]: "If you were a poor Irish kid, a pair of cowboy boots, that would be insane."

8. Story 8 [68:43 – 75:47]: "My sibling and I have birthdays a week apart, so my family would get us one cake and have us split it."

   • Panelists' Guesses:
     • Henry and Colm debate, with final attribution to Louis.
   • Notable Quote:
     • Colm Turrell [72:05]: "My sister's birthday is March 26, not September 5..."

Final Scores:

• Big J Okerson: 22 points
• Josh Adam Myers & Henry Foley: 14 points each
• Colm Turrell: 3 points

Conclusion

Big J Okerson emerges victorious in this competitive episode of Story Warz, securing the highest score of 22 points by correctly identifying and submitting deceptive birthday stories. Josh Adam Myers and Henry Foley follow with strong performances, while Colm Turrell trails behind.

Notable Quote:

• Colm Turrell [77:00]: "I'm losing this game. But I got a good showing at the end."

Guests conclude with acknowledgments and shout-outs to their respective projects and upcoming events, maintaining the lively and humorous atmosphere characteristic of Story Warz.

Final Thoughts

Episode 026 of Story Warz delivers an engaging blend of storytelling, deception, and comedic banter. The interactive dynamics between Big J, Louis, Colm, Henry, and Josh provide ample entertainment, showcasing each participant's unique personality and storytelling flair. Whether you're a regular listener or new to the show, this episode offers a captivating glimpse into the art of deceptive storytelling within a comedic framework.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

Fill her up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Colm Turrell]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and Louis J. Go.

[Henry Foley]

Come on, gang. Big energy, big energy. What is up, everybody? Welcome to Story Wars. We are your Story Warriors. Big J Okerson, the Puerto Rican rattlesnake, Louis J. Gomez.

[Colm Turrell]

What's going on, Story Warriors? I don't know, Jay. We're stepping on things. We're in the small room again. We've been downgraded. We've been down stuff, guys.

[Henry Foley]

We've been set straight, everybody. Welcome to Story wars, everybody. How are people here familiar with game Story Wars?

[Colm Turrell]

All right, you guys are just. Why are you so bummed out? How about you have a better energy? I thought it was a bunch of people didn't know what was going, but they all know.

[Henry Foley]

The one guy's face is literally saying, impress me, jerk off.

[Colm Turrell]

This guy right here has no idea what is it? What it is? And he's like, what the fuck are we sitting watching right now?

[Henry Foley]

But what a happy energy. I know. That guy makes his own gravy.

[Colm Turrell]

Well, that guy looks like a. He looks like he's an undercover cop, so.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, where do you guys get your drugs from? Everybody, we have three. Three amazing guests today on Story Wars. Everyone, your first guest coming up here to the stage. You know I'm from the goddamn comedy jam. Everybody make some noise for the hilarious Josh Adam Myers.

[Colm Turrell]

And your second contestant on today's show, you know from the Colm Turrell podcast. It is 30 minute special presented by guest Digital. Ladies and gentlemen, clap it up for Colm Turrel. You guys have to play the most generic Irish song.

[Henry Foley]

I mean, that was very like, hey, he's an Irish.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I love the. I love that song.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah. Yeah, I bet. Our third final contestant, everybody, you know from the are you garbage Podcast. Everybody, how about it for the hilarious H. Foley in the host? Spicy.

[Big J Okerson]

I already broke one chair today. Hey, gang.

[Henry Foley]

What's up, guys? Thank you guys so much for being here. Most of our panel here is familiar with Story Wars. If you're out there and you're not familiar, a quick explanation of the game, it's very simple. Everybody on this panel, including me and Lewis, has submitted five stories on a very specific subject. Today's subject is birthdays. Birthdays, everybody. We have submitted our three to five stories to Alex, our producer. Alex will read those stories off one at a time. We will see it up here on the screen, gang. And then it is your job. If it is not your story to guess whose story it is. But if it's your story, you're the only person who knows that. So it's your job to fool everybody. That's not yours.

[Colm Turrell]

And once a contestant puts a story on the board and puts it in the slot, that means it's their final answer. They can't change it. The way the points work is you get two points for every time you guys say correct story. One point for every person you fool. It sounds confusing. You guys are going to get it. Are you ready for war? Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yes.

[Henry Foley]

Now, I want you to know, if you're new to Story wars, we're not here just dicking around for no reason, okay? You come here to win something. It is a game at the end of the day.

[Colm Turrell]

And by the way, you do have to pay taxes on this prize.

[Henry Foley]

You have to pay taxes on this one for sure. But we are always playing for a book from our Story wars library. And today, our book, the True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson. The True and Outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson is a heartfelt and compelling novel told through a series of letters written by Olivia Hunt, a film producer navigating the complexities of life, love, and loss.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Colm Turrell]

Roy, I do not want to lose that book from our library.

[Henry Foley]

Jay, you sure as shit fire don't. Can I get my drinks and an ashtray, please? Let's get this fucking thing started. You guys ready for war?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, sir.

[Henry Foley]

Then let's start the story wars right now. Alex. Story number one.

[Alex]

Story number one. I accidentally threw a birthday cake out the back door of a car.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's a Lewis. It's a Lewis.

[Colm Turrell]

It's not Foley or J.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a Lewis. That's a birthday cake right there.

[Henry Foley]

I've never accidentally. We disposed of cake.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a Lewis. I'm angry at a podcast producer. Pissed off.

[Henry Foley]

Well, that's accidentally. That's a big deal.

[Colm Turrell]

I mean, if it says I purposefully got mad at my podcast producers for taking too long to start the show and then I threw a birthday cake.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This isn't the right type of chocolate cake. I wanted.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Whoopsie.

[Henry Foley]

It could be. You're right. It could be. My 42nd is ruined fat fury at wrong cake.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I have seen you complain about cake before.

[Colm Turrell]

Did you see me complain about cake?

[Josh Adam Myers]

It was one of your bullshit birthday Legion of Skanks episodes. And then I think they got you the wrong.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, they did get. They get. They got me a shitty cake.

[Josh Adam Myers]

They got you a shitty cake.

[Colm Turrell]

They got Me a shitty cake. I will admit that.

[Big J Okerson]

What kind of cake do you like, Lewis? Just ask.

[Colm Turrell]

Favorite cake? Ooh, that's a great question, Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you a red velvet man?

[Colm Turrell]

I. You know what?

[Henry Foley]

I buttercream.

[Colm Turrell]

I mean, red velvet's a little basic bitch, but I mean, look, any cake is good cake. Let's get real. But I would go for like a. A nice French vanilla with a chocolate icing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

O. I can see him being on brand being a tres leche.

[Big J Okerson]

O.

[Colm Turrell]

You have to be racist about it.

[Big J Okerson]

I discovered tres leche way too late in life.

[Henry Foley]

Me too.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm sure you're making up for lost time.

[Big J Okerson]

You ain't lying, baby.

[Henry Foley]

It's so wet. It looks so wet.

[Big J Okerson]

So good.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Now what's. What's the one where you crack flan? You have to use a spoon.

[Colm Turrell]

That's not a cake, you stale cake. No, he's talking about creme brulee.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Creme brulee?

[Colm Turrell]

Creme brulee is not cake.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Dessert cake. What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

But brulee is in the cake family because it's still in.

[Big J Okerson]

It is not so in your mind.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Brulee is in the pudding fan, but.

[Colm Turrell]

You put a candle hamburger, you jerk off.

[Big J Okerson]

Get these skinny out of here.

[Henry Foley]

You are a stupid dumb for what you're saying.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'll excuse myself.

[Henry Foley]

You can see yourself out. Joshua. My favorite cake. Good question. I don't like.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Here we go.

[Henry Foley]

I don't like real thick, heavy icing at all. I'm a fact whipped cream icing. Oh, I would say is the best icing.

[Colm Turrell]

Just a pound cake with no icing at all.

[Big J Okerson]

That. What? That's like a meatloaf.

[Henry Foley]

That's a protein. That's a protein.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm with Lewis on that, dude. No, no glaze on it. Just the cake. Yeah, that's where it's at, dude.

[Colm Turrell]

If you like a fruitcake, you should die right now.

[Big J Okerson]

A fruitcake like the one at Christmas? Yeah, I'll with it.

[Henry Foley]

I've never even had it. But I will say there's a thing called Jewish apple cake that is not bad. Delicious.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

And you don't have made of apple and juice.

[Henry Foley]

Delicious.

[Josh Adam Myers]

The trick is no apple.

[Henry Foley]

The apple.

[Josh Adam Myers]

No apple or cake.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, I accidentally threw a birthday cake out the back door of a car. I feel like this is a way to celebrate an Irish birthday.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's what I do.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is a column story.

[Colm Turrell]

Well, happy birthday.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Well, I'm going to here and say that I feel I'm leading strongly to Josh Adam Myers, who is one of my Dearest and closest friends. And he is, I can already hear him going oops. And then the explanation being terrible. Like I thought I was throwing out a bag of chips, but it was your whole cake.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's not wrong.

[Big J Okerson]

I got hyped listening to 311. I threw it out.

[Colm Turrell]

No, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There was no 311 in my stories.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with Josh. I'm going to go with Josh because he was the first. This is my new tactic is how do people resp when they read it? And he was the first one to point fingers.

[Colm Turrell]

He did, he did throw. He was very nervous. He's never played.

[Josh Adam Myers]

We hadn't even finished the sentence. And he goes Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why immediately I wrote down his name on my card.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That's supposed to be I, but I also supposed to be a surprise.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, but the thing is I also read it wrong because I'm stupid. So I didn't see accidentally was in there.

[Colm Turrell]

Now he's coming up with excuses. He's getting nervous right now. Josh also, I know he said he had a hard time coming up with stories and this is just a shitty story.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

So I'm actually voting for Josh as well.

[Henry Foley]

Let me think also column wrote a.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Swastika on my thing. Is that, do I get a point for that?

[Josh Adam Myers]

I did not. I did not.

[Big J Okerson]

For the Jewish apple cake comment.

[Colm Turrell]

Silent.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, I'm taking that from the hard way.

[Big J Okerson]

There you go.

[Henry Foley]

It doesn't just open up your nostrils.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It doesn't come from me. Huh.

[Big J Okerson]

It's the butthole loose.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I do think this, I think this is column.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, I bet you do. Because you know, it's you and you're hoping that that would maybe sway me. But I was the first one that said Josh Adam fucking Myers. The jam final answer. Locked in. Everybody's locked in, Alex. Everybody's locked in. That story.

[Alex]

That story belonged to column.

[Henry Foley]

No way.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Classic.

[Big J Okerson]

You sneaky Irish bastard.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Told you.

[Colm Turrell]

Dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, you know me. Like I'm a fuck up. But like my stories are like, you know involves drugs and cops and like.

[Colm Turrell]

Don'T tell us your story is involved Josh. That's the whole game.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, not that, not now. But in life. Just all life.

[Colm Turrell]

Colin, what happened here? Why did you accidentally throw a birthday cake out the back of a car?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh well so we used to have. I, I, I think you guys call it a station wagon or whatever that old school car is from like what.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you call it?

[Josh Adam Myers]

A hatchback.

[Colm Turrell]

No, it's different things Like a Honda Civic hatchback. Yeah, but it was big.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, it was.

[Henry Foley]

I had a Honda Accord hatchback station wagon is what that other thing is called.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

And it's looking for a family.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yes.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

But we used to have loads of. You'd have all the kids in the back. You'd, like, travel with them in the. Like in the trunk, what you would call. Yeah, you just load in and you'd have to sit in there with like, groceries or whatever.

[Henry Foley]

You go side to side. Legs to legs.

[Josh Adam Myers]

No, it was just like the area where you were supposed to put, like, luggage would be. Just where we would sit, right?

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, exactly. Roll around in the back.

[Josh Adam Myers]

But we used to. We have. You could open the back. You could open the back door from the inside of. With your finger.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah. Very dangerous.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, we used to do it all the time.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We.

[Josh Adam Myers]

As a prank, like, my dad would be driving around, we would open the door, go, ah. And he'd have to pull over and whatever. And then I opened it one time and we had a cake with us and it fell out the back and.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, no. Whose birthday cake was it?

[Josh Adam Myers]

I really can't remember. I think it was a cousin or something. It was young.

[Henry Foley]

When you live in stone homes and have no entertainment.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's throw dinner at the back seat.

[Josh Adam Myers]

No, that's what happens when your top entertainers river dance. The cake was the accident in the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got to go and do Something with the IRA. This.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

FL's birthday hands again.

[Josh Adam Myers]

There's a chisel inside the cake for, like, to get hand to a prisoner, you know.

[Colm Turrell]

All right, Alex, where are our points at after round one? Column cleaned up just now?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, no. Josh. Josh.

[Alex]

All right, after the first round, I have Josh, Adam Myers on the board with two points and Column on the board with three.

[Colm Turrell]

Three.

[Alex]

Everyone.

[Henry Foley]

Three points.

[Big J Okerson]

Three.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Three points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Three points. I got three points.

[Henry Foley]

Alex, turn your mic up, I think.

[Colm Turrell]

Turn everyone's mics up. I just told G Mike. It's a little low in the room. Right, kids? I think so.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm here to win. I'm not here for friends. I'm here.

[Colm Turrell]

Hey, also, can you turn the lights up a little bit more?

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, yeah. Everybody feel like they're not at a show and more of, like a school picture session.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Can we get the audience to be more quiet?

[Colm Turrell]

I've never. Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Can we have a more boring audience?

[Colm Turrell]

I know now.

[Henry Foley]

You know what?

[Colm Turrell]

It usually takes a couple stories before they get it.

[Henry Foley]

We've been doing this. We've been doing this game for a while. Now and I will say even an audience that isn't familiar with the show by Story 3, 4. That's the fun of the show. Everyone starts getting invested.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah. About halfway through the show. You'll get it. Alex. Story number two.

[Alex]

Story number two. I gave my friend a framed Ninja Turtles poster for his birthday and he called it a shitty gift.

[Henry Foley]

He was right.

[Alex]

When he left the room, I took it back and left his birthday party with it. I gave it to another friend for his birthday.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That friend also hated it.

[Colm Turrell]

And then I took it back from there.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I kept giving it to friends until I ran out of friends in LA and moved to New York. Josh Adam Myers.

[Henry Foley]

This is the. This I feel like Lewis. Lewis is the business mind that goes like. Okay, well if you don't like it that much, figure this out for somebody else. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Cuz Jay, you're too sweet. You would accept the gift and.

[Henry Foley]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Colm Turrell]

Jay's not sweet. He's got diabetes. He's got blood sugar. True.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's not about cholesterol.

[Henry Foley]

No. But this is. This would be me giving my friend a poster and he says it's shitty. That would emotionally crush me for sure. But I don't know if I would steal it back and then re gift it.

[Colm Turrell]

Sure. It's me, Jay. We all know it's Jay. Cuz this is what Jay does. If Jay starts talking first. Anytime. It's always Jay.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That's the real.

[Colm Turrell]

Literally every time. That's one of Jay's biggest tells. But I actually, I don't.

[Josh Adam Myers]

He hasn't said it.

[Colm Turrell]

I know he's in the pocket.

[Josh Adam Myers]

He's in the pocket.

[Colm Turrell]

They don't have Ninja Turtles in Ireland, so I know it's not new.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It's just. It just came out this year.

[Colm Turrell]

Well, like it's got to be.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't tell them what happens.

[Colm Turrell]

The right age. Josh is 74 years old. So if it was like an Archie comic book poster, then I would say it's Josh.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This is the type of shit, Josh.

[Big J Okerson]

Very true, Louis.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, you got to. It's got to be the age. So I don't. Jay, is Ninja Turtle age fully. How old are you?

[Henry Foley]

I'm 48.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, you're old as fuck when you're.

[Henry Foley]

Older than me even so.

[Big J Okerson]

However, I do want to tell you this could be anybody at the table.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I don't think you're.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think Ninja Turtles span generations.

[Henry Foley]

Generations. Even if it did, even though columns younger than the rest of us. It. That's by the time it Made its way to their TVs. Yeah, it was years later.

[Big J Okerson]

Could have been last summer.

[Henry Foley]

It could have been anybody.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, I don't think Foley's getting a framed gift though, right now.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a shitty gift, as the thing says. Yeah, a frame poster.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Framed poster.

[Colm Turrell]

Hey, I think it's a pretty cool gift, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys.

[Colm Turrell]

Hey, man, I thought it was pretty cool. Cool enough to give two different friends.

[Henry Foley]

This does feel like Lewis. But also, I don't know if Lewis is like a real, like, show up with a birthday present for everybody guy either.

[Colm Turrell]

I mean, I. I don't want to make it seem like it's me, but I would show up with. Every time I go to somebody's home to a new home, I show up with a housewarming gift. I'm a good friend, Jay.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, but it's just a birthday party. It doesn't say birthday parties. You just gave it to him for his birth birthday and he called it a shitty gift there.

[Colm Turrell]

No, it's his birthday party. Left his birthday party.

[Big J Okerson]

I think a frame picture has Lewis written all over it. Also, I think no defense intended. As a kid, he was a little tight on cash, so he couldn't afford another present for somebody else, so the gift, by necessity, had to be re gifted.

[Henry Foley]

By the way, it also says I can't be wasting. Good. I gave my friend the frame Ninja Turtles poster for his birthday, implying that maybe he didn't even buy this gift. He was already giving something that belonged to him that he was over as a gift. The person hated it. And then he re gifted it again.

[Big J Okerson]

Very good, Jay.

[Henry Foley]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

It's very good.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I have no.

[Henry Foley]

I thought you were going to. I thought you was going to go. Very good. You got it. It's me.

[Colm Turrell]

Well, I do feel like Foley and.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay are tagged you once again, Mr. Okas.

[Josh Adam Myers]

And I feel like it's both of you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Colm Turrell]

I feel like. Wait, you don't like the gift and you were the kid that got it?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Is it Jay? Because Jason talked a lot.

[Colm Turrell]

It could be. Jay's been yapping a bunch right now. And I will say that when Jay throws it out. I've noticed that's a pattern in Jay.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't think he's trying to throw you off after how many episodes by now?

[Colm Turrell]

I don't know if I didn't.

[Henry Foley]

I didn't know I had a.

[Colm Turrell]

He didn't know he had that tell.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Until you're saying you think it's Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I know it's Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I Feel like it's Lewis. I. I really get those.

[Colm Turrell]

Give it a shot, baby.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm going with my first instinct. My first instinct is always correct. Big J Okerson.

[Josh Adam Myers]

All right.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, man.

[Henry Foley]

Well, you know what? Lewis is pawning it too hard. Too hard towards me. All right, so it is for sure. Louis the Nazi. According to Josh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Louis the Nazi.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I went. Josh, Adam Myers.

[Henry Foley]

Is everybody locked in? Everyone's answer.

[Colm Turrell]

Locked and loaded, Alex. Fools.

[Alex]

That was Louis Jake, you suckers.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude.

[Colm Turrell]

And by the way, Jay, you nailed it. I won the Ninja Turtles poster at, like, a carnival.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure you did.

[Colm Turrell]

It was a frame thing with the ninja looking up from the sewer. And I gave it to my buddy, Mike Guerrero. I was like, look, a Ninja Turtles poster. He was like, what the fuck is this shit?

[Henry Foley]

By the way, that's one of the Cooler posters. I remember that one. They're looking up. Yeah, it was cool to.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah. And then he, like, left the room, and then I got angry, and I just left with the poster, and I. And I gave it to my gay friend Rocky, like, three months later.

[Henry Foley]

And taking anything you gave him, gay.

[Colm Turrell]

Rocky, he was like, oh, anything from.

[Henry Foley]

You, I'm gonna smell it and whack off to you.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah. So, yeah, you guys, I guess that was too easy of a story.

[Henry Foley]

Not necessarily.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, I mean, but here's the.

[Henry Foley]

I only thought it was you when you jumped all over me with this definite.

[Colm Turrell]

I know that's not even your tell, Jay. I know your real tell. If you go back and watch the show. Jay has very specific tells. And I wouldn't say them out loud because I want to win the game.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, guys, the language, I gave it away from me. Shitty gift.

[Henry Foley]

In quote, I don't think I gave a tell. I come.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You fake laugh.

[Henry Foley]

Alex, fake laugh at Lewis's joke story number three.

[Alex]

What about scores?

[Henry Foley]

Let's do some scores.

[Colm Turrell]

Scores.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Scores.

[Alex]

All right, after the second round, I have Louis J. Gomez on the board with one point.

[Colm Turrell]

Number one, baby. Boys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Solid.

[Colm Turrell]

Number one in the house.

[Alex]

I have Big J and Henry Foley tied with two points each.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, thank you, thank you, column.

[Alex]

Terrell, three points. And in the lead, Josh, Adam Myers with four points.

[Josh Adam Myers]

So wait, just to remind me I don't lose points because I got that wrong. Okay. All right. Okay, thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Gentleman's rules.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Just read. Just checking back in, like, see what's going on.

[Colm Turrell]

Okay, let's take a quick moment and thank one of my favorite sponsors in the world, which is Mando. It's Total Body Deodorant Truly the best in the business. I love it. Not just for your armpits, but your balls, your butt crack, your grundle. Really. Anywhere you smell Mando has you covered.

[Henry Foley]

Yay.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, it's the Mando Vampire. Weird. Oh, wow, look at that.

[Henry Foley]

That's right, everybody. I'm here talking about my fresh smelling nut bag. That's right, Mando Vampire.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm so happy you got hired At Mando.

[Henry Foley]

It's so hard to keep your body smelling fresh when you've been dead for centuries.

[Colm Turrell]

That is true. And it's really not just your armpits. It's everywhere you can smell. You know what I love? My favorite thing that they have is these. These wipes that you. That you use for your balls. Unless you get off a flight or out of a car ride, just take them out. You can just rub your balls down. You don't got a shower.

[Henry Foley]

It's my favorite thing. My balls forever smelled like bat fur. But now they are brisk.

[Colm Turrell]

They really do have incredible products. Genuinely great. They're aluminum free, paraben free, whatever that means. They don't test on animals.

[Henry Foley]

Go word.

[Colm Turrell]

And genuinely controls your odor for up to 72 hours. Here's the deal. We want you to try out their starter pack. You get $5 off their starter pack. That's about 40 off. And that includes their cream deodorant, the solid stick deodorant, and two products of your choice, like the mini body wash or the deodorant wipes.

[Henry Foley]

Yes. I just wiped my butthole with them. Louis, smell my butthole.

[Colm Turrell]

I don't want to smell your butthole.

[Henry Foley]

Smell my.

[Colm Turrell]

Smell your butthole.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, yes. The fart still smells. Mando cancer. Do that shop. It's not a six in one, it's a five in one.

[Colm Turrell]

Shopman.com is the website when you check out, use the promo code WARS to get $5 off your starter pack. That is WARS with a Z at Shopman M A N o dot com.

[Henry Foley]

Yes. To the castle. Alex. Story number three.

[Alex]

Story number three. My girlfriend threw a surprise party for me. In the middle of the party, two of my friends fought. One of them had their nose broken and bled all over the floor.

[Henry Foley]

This does sound like a very Irish thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Again, that's what I was gonna say. This is an Irish.

[Henry Foley]

He goes. And then everyone was. And then everybody held a giant stone beer and sang together. Hey, you broke.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, he never loved me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's what the O'Malleys do.

[Henry Foley]

So it's gypsy fights. They have to do it Every year.

[Colm Turrell]

Remember last time when Foley was on? Foley's a real Philly piece of shit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay as well, though.

[Henry Foley]

Sure.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This could be anyone.

[Henry Foley]

Could be anybody.

[Colm Turrell]

Jay didn't have friends.

[Henry Foley]

I more could have a girlfriend who threw a surprise party for me. The time my friends would get into fist fights.

[Big J Okerson]

I think that's the question you have to ask yourself. Who had a girlfriend that would throw them a surprise party?

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

That is a douchey LA thing to do.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That is a douche.

[Colm Turrell]

An adult that has a surprise party is crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

That's pretty good. Ah, you just convinced me.

[Colm Turrell]

Surprise. You suck.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

So we're leaning towards Josh on this.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah. It says surprise party.

[Henry Foley]

Josh is gonna start.

[Colm Turrell]

Josh is spiraling.

[Henry Foley]

Panic voting. You're panic voting? Josh not panic voting. This is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

My whole life. I've had one girlfriend. I'm just hookups.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Okay.

[Colm Turrell]

And this one girl know that.

[Josh Adam Myers]

She said she was your girlfriend. You were like, nah, we're just.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be a girl you were seeing. You could have used the vanad.

[Josh Adam Myers]

One of the many girls.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A hookup. A hookup would throw a surprise party.

[Josh Adam Myers]

The way you lie to them. Yeah. The way you gaslight these. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You were married.

[Josh Adam Myers]

She thought you guys are the real deal, dude. The way you treat these. For sure.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I am a gentleman wrote a song for her. And Everton I am a gentle man.

[Josh Adam Myers]

In the middle of the party, I'll.

[Colm Turrell]

Sing Happy Birthday to myself. Watch everyone.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Happy Birthday to me.

[Colm Turrell]

Josh.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Out of my ears.

[Big J Okerson]

But if it was an LA party, would there be a fight where either one of the men had the kind of power to break each other?

[Colm Turrell]

If it said. I mean, he broke his wrists punching another guy, I would say maybe, but.

[Henry Foley]

They all have fake noses, which are fragile.

[Big J Okerson]

Very true.

[Henry Foley]

Or they're Hollywood Jews with big noses with a lot of room to break, easy to break.

[Josh Adam Myers]

And they're all on coke.

[Henry Foley]

So easily bled before the question was read. This is so Josh.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is an Irish thing. This is something that Irish people do. They get drunk. I don't drink.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It is very Irish. That will be your downfall.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If I'm having a birthday party, nobody's drinking at.

[Big J Okerson]

The Irish don't have surprise parties.

[Henry Foley]

No one's coming drinking. Your birthday party.

[Colm Turrell]

The Irish don't like a surprise. If you now. Yeah. The last time the IR if you surprise an Irishman, he thinks it's a car bomb. This could be Foley, though.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Foley.

[Colm Turrell]

It could be when he was younger. He was thin, he had hot chicks, he was an emo singer. He probably had some Girl, that was just like this. He's gay. I'm gonna.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You can't change. You can change.

[Colm Turrell]

No, it's. Once it's in the holster, once it's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Locked in, once you put it up there. Ah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

If this isn't Josh, I'm gonna be pretty mad.

[Colm Turrell]

This is you.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, it is, Lewis. Oh, yes, it is.

[Henry Foley]

Who are you?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Right now?

[Colm Turrell]

My first instinct was Josh, but I have a feeling.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I had a feeling it was Josh too.

[Colm Turrell]

But he's just tapping it in right now, playing it cool as a cucumber.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

So I'm gonna go with each.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Who did you go with?

[Henry Foley]

My. The answer.

[Big J Okerson]

It's me. I'll tell you right now. It's me.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, yeah?

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. And I ate all the birthday cake, too.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, that was thrown out of the car.

[Josh Adam Myers]

How much? I'm gonna go for the double bluff.

[Henry Foley]

You're just gonna believe that he sold you?

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'll go for the double bluff.

[Henry Foley]

It may have been a double bluff.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It could be Josh, though.

[Henry Foley]

Everybody is locked in, Alex.

[Alex]

That story belonged to Josh Allen.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And you know the people.

[Colm Turrell]

People.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You know the people. It was when I was dating Britney. She threw me a surprise 30th birthday party. And Willie Hunter, the comedian got really drunk.

[Henry Foley]

Say you were seeing this girl. The word Britney means nothing to anybody.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, well, she's. Should I explain who she is now?

[Henry Foley]

She's.

[Colm Turrell]

She's with.

[Henry Foley]

That will make you look like she's with Tommy Lee.

[Colm Turrell]

Now imagine going from Josh to Tommy Lee. What a glow up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm not that bad.

[Colm Turrell]

You're the size of his.

[Henry Foley]

Josh Adam Myers. Josh Adam Myers. You heard of your first ten times more handsome than Tommy Lee right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you very much.

[Colm Turrell]

Yes, he's more handsome than Tommy Lee, but Tommy Lee is way richer, more successful, and is a bigger. You're choosing Tommy Lee every time.

[Henry Foley]

Not this guy.

[Josh Adam Myers]

And he's also more handsome than you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love you for that. It was the. It was Willie Hunter.

[Henry Foley]

I'm not a size queen.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Willie Hunter got really drunk and started jarring with Jamar neighbors.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, two black guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then Jamar neighbor. I'll never forget it because Jamar Naders, like, takes off his, like, vest and he's like. Like my N word. My N word. Say that again. And then Willie's like, you don't respect me, Jamar. And then Jamar just two punches broke his face.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Bled all over the. The white carpet. This is the best part. Is that Diddy's house? Well, Brittany.

[Big J Okerson]

Brittany, like American Gangster. That's alpaca.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Brittany had styled. She had styled the apartment. We had, like, a really nice apartment. Like, the TV gets knocked over. All this in there, all her Motley.

[Henry Foley]

Crue memorabilia, her vision board, horde of Motley Crue and Tommy Lee's dick pics.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And it was great because, like. Like, Britney's like, Willie's standing there bleeding. Oh, the best thing is Jamar, as he walks and goes. Tell that N word to pick his teeth up. And then walks out. And then. And then Britney's like, happy birthday, John. He's like, you're friends. You're friends. I can't believe this. And then Angela, with his girlfriend, holding his girlfriend's hand, just goes, it's quite unnecessary. And then just walks out. And that was it.

[Henry Foley]

Dude broke his face. I didn't know. That's so funny. They were both members of the. Was this when they were doing the Negro wave together?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, this is before that. This is like 2011.

[Henry Foley]

So they patch things up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Well, the scores.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Nice.

[Alex]

All right, on the scoreboard, I have Lewis with one point.

[Henry Foley]

Oof.

[Alex]

Column. Terrell with three points. Big J and Henry Foley tied with four points each. And Josh at of Myers in the lead with six points.

[Colm Turrell]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, why does he get six? Because two people missed him.

[Alex]

Yeah, yeah. Two people. He got one point for each of them.

[Colm Turrell]

Every person he fools, he gets a point for.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry.

[Henry Foley]

It's okay. You, Alex, you. Story number four.

[Alex]

Story number four.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Let's go.

[Alex]

I went to a birthday party at McDonald's when I was a kid.

[Henry Foley]

Jay.

[Alex]

They had some. They had someone dressed up.

[Henry Foley]

Excuse.

[Alex]

They had someone dressed up like Ronald McDonald at some point, I was in the bathroom, and he was standing at the urinal, peeing. I caught a peek of his huge hog. I didn't understand why it wasn't painted white like his face. It freaked me out a little while.

[Colm Turrell]

It's Jay. I mean, Jay's the only one who would use the term huge hog.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. It's everything about it.

[Colm Turrell]

Jay's also the only one who would try to look at another man's while he's at the urinal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I might.

[Josh Adam Myers]

And then he added, guys, guilty is.

[Henry Foley]

Charged on several of these things, but.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, you got a little punchline in there, too.

[Henry Foley]

You had a little joke, though. I do wonder why clown dicks aren't white.

[Colm Turrell]

I went to. I went to the WrestleMania 10 fan festival, and I peed next to Luke of the Bushwackers. And I looked at his hog. Then Big Fat Australian hog or New Zealand hog, maybe. And then he walked out without washing his hands.

[Henry Foley]

I was like, that guy's a savage. Oh, yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Legend. How far back does Ronald McDonald have to stand from the urinal because of his big fucking shoes?

[Colm Turrell]

I wonder if Grimace's is purple.

[Henry Foley]

I don't know how long McDonald's has been in Ireland. Probably not very.

[Josh Adam Myers]

No, McDonald's is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is written like.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Have you been outside of America ever? Everything is it black and white.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you guys have bir.

[Henry Foley]

Your country hears about Michael Jackson. He's so talented.

[Josh Adam Myers]

We used to have. I don't know if they still do it now, but they used to, like, the McDonald's used to be designed, like, with, like, boats and, you know, like, there was like a big boat in the middle and you could sit in it as, like, a dinner, like a boot, but it would look like a ship. Do you not have that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

We didn't have that. We had a ball pit.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, we had them also, but we had, like. It used to be like, fun family. Now it's all like. Like corporate.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Uncomfortable. It used to be fun.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, it was like. It was for the kids back in the day.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It was for a family. Yeah, it used to be a big treat going to McDonald's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But see, I. I know that we are leaning towards Jay because of the huge hog and the way it's written, but I also think that Lewis could have written this because he's trying to throw us off.

[Henry Foley]

He will do that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It's a lot of words.

[Colm Turrell]

Very good at the game.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You're losing.

[Henry Foley]

I mean, it doesn't look like that today, but generally pretty good.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm not. I'm not afraid. You think I'm going to lose this one? We'll see. We'll see what happen.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think I'm. I'm going between. I think it's between. But also Foley, though, like, see, could you've played this before as well?

[Josh Adam Myers]

He's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We have yet to do a Foley.

[Colm Turrell]

Story, so you're going. You're going between.

[Henry Foley]

That means nothing.

[Josh Adam Myers]

They might not even do any Folies.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, I'm going.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm going between Foley and column, and Brittany's going between Vince and Tommy Lee.

[Henry Foley]

Shut up.

[Big J Okerson]

Full disclosure, I have had. I have had many birthday parties at McDonald's.

[Colm Turrell]

I will say, we know you still have them to this day.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Celebrates a half birthday, too.

[Big J Okerson]

I gotta get out of here in 20 minutes.

[Josh Adam Myers]

By the way, whose birthdays are you celebrating?

[Colm Turrell]

I mean, I got. I gotta go I really gotta go with my instinct. Every time I go against my instinct, I'm wrong. I'm going with Big J Okerson. Huge hog. Is the. The towel right here?

[Henry Foley]

I just.

[Colm Turrell]

I.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's too.

[Colm Turrell]

It's not only just saying Hugh jock, but looking at his dick and judging it. That's a very big J move. He loves to look at Cox into.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This fucking thing too.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think it's Foley, guys.

[Henry Foley]

I'd like to look at Cox, but I'm not gay. I just like to size up what's out.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I agree with that. I'm the same way at a gym.

[Henry Foley]

I'll look, I'll peek out. I'll peek at a cock all day if you swing it around. Ah, I don't know. This is tough. I want to say once again, I feel like Lewis's tell is when he goes, well, he says me, and then he throws it to me hard.

[Colm Turrell]

I also feel like now it's not Jay, because there's no reason for him to do this whole song and dance since everyone's voted already.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Would have all locked it in. Actually sold on. I hope.

[Henry Foley]

I really hope.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Sm.

[Big J Okerson]

Just reading the.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, you know what? I just erased it and I'm writing it back again. I'm going with Foley. Final answer, probably Foley. Lock it in. Alex.

[Alex]

That was H. Foley.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm getting my dude in here. I knew it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Knew it.

[Colm Turrell]

Huge hog is not a J thing. It's a Philly thing against it might.

[Henry Foley]

Be a Philly thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we like hogs.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, Hoagie.

[Henry Foley]

You know, else I learned is very regional. Calling your dick a bird, which still makes me laugh.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You show your bird, that means your girlfriend in Ireland. Your girlfriend. Yeah, it's my bird.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I love that.

[Colm Turrell]

I know.

[Henry Foley]

Jim Jeffries told me when we were in South Africa, this bird was meeting him there and I was like, you don't bring it everywhere with you.

[Colm Turrell]

Foley. What happened? Anything else that you left out of this story?

[Big J Okerson]

Nah, that's really it. But yeah, it was kind of a weird situation. It was my dad, which is the strangest part. No, I had a lot of birthdays at McDonald's, and that was like the first one that I remember was going to that.

[Colm Turrell]

Were you like. Cause when I was a kid, I was a chubby kid and like, I never got a kid's meal. Cause it just wasn't enough food. So were you like that or you were eating the Happy Meal?

[Big J Okerson]

Two quarter pounders with cheese. Nah, it was a Happy Meal, kid.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Do you understand this as A big guy, too. Well, you weren't. You might have been a big kid, but I was a big kid. I got sent to a babysitter one time, but I was the oldest kid. And this lady was a big fat old lady who wanted to eat McDonald's. So she brought me and all these little kids to McDonald's. And when she got. She got herself like a meal and she made me. Everyone else got like a half a cheeseburger and like two chicken nuggets and like a little grab of fries. And I was like, no, no. So me just waiting desperately for all these young kids to be like, have I eaten enough? Can I go play now? To just take all of their things and just made it. I piecemeal together a lot of food.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, I remember there was a. There was a ball pit in the McDonald's where I grew up. When we were teenagers, we would like, hide under, like, the balls. They try to get all the balls on top of us. And like, little kids would jump on us and we would scare them. But I realized it's so pedophile.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was about to say, like, if.

[Colm Turrell]

Somebody touched my child, if I brought him to the ball pit, it would McDonald's. I would literally call the authorities.

[Louis J. Gomez]

There's a Puerto Rican in the ball bed.

[Henry Foley]

Someone's massaging my. No, no. Place in the pit. He goes, I don't see. There's nothing in that pit.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, Alex, I'm getting my dick kicked in here. Please go over the. The points.

[Alex]

Holy. You guys on the scoreboard. Lewis hanging out with one.

[Colm Turrell]

Shut the hell up.

[Henry Foley]

Just hanging out.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Josh is flying.

[Alex]

I have column. Terrell with three points. Big J and H fully tied with six.

[Henry Foley]

Look at us on your ass and.

[Alex]

Playing a perfect game so far with eight points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Colm Turrell]

I've been waiting for this one person didn't vote for him. I think.

[Henry Foley]

No, but I don't think it's even that.

[Alex]

Sorry. He didn't. He didn't get every possible point when it was his story. But he has guessed correctly on everything.

[Henry Foley]

I think we should be considered a perfect game if you score points on every story.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah. Okay.

[Henry Foley]

So Josh right now is hitting perfect game. Pretty perfect game.

[Colm Turrell]

We're jinxing Im imagine. Britney can see you now.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, my God. Dude.

[Colm Turrell]

Britney can see. There's no way she leave.

[Henry Foley]

She would leave that Madame Tussard's wax figurine with a she's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm on my way.

[Colm Turrell]

We're at halftime.

[Henry Foley]

We are at halftime of the game. Everybody. Let's go around now we do big money.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's go big money.

[Henry Foley]

Well, right now we do is our plugs. Everybody ever go around the room and do their plugs? Mr. Foley, I know this isn't your strong suit. Kevin usually does the plugs. Sure. You hate this part.

[Colm Turrell]

He's got to wear a strong suit so the seams don't split.

[Big J Okerson]

Text Kevin Ryan if you want to know where we're gonna be. No, we're just kicking off the the Back on the block tour. We're coming all over. We're doing the Midwest. We're doing Minneapolis. We're doing Pontiac, Michigan. We're doing Pittsburgh. We're doing Atlantic City in the summer. [e-mail] back on the road.

[Colm Turrell]

Very cool. Yeah, very.

[Big J Okerson]

The boys back on the road.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Mr. Terrell, check out my podcast, the column Tarot Podcast. I'm also on the road. Coming up, I'm in St. Pete. I'm in Appleton, Wisconsin, Gainesville, Wisconsin, and Vancouver and a bunch of other places that I cannot remember. Columnterrell.com for all those tickets.

[Colm Turrell]

Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yahshua josh adam myers.com@josh adamyers on all social media. You can see me in Atlanta, Reno, Los Angeles and Tampa next month. And listen to the 500 podcast. We're going through Rolling Stone magazine's list of the 500 Greatest Albums.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Ma'am.

[Colm Turrell]

Hey, Josh, will you erase your swastika? It's only because we're going to have to literally blur it out every time it's on YouTube in order to not get the show demonetized.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J, launch a program here. God damn it.

[Henry Foley]

Go to bigjaycomedy.com for all my dates, everybody. A lot of stuff coming up. If you're listening to this in the first week, I will be in Miami. Miami Improv. Mike Fenoya, Tim Butterly joining me on that. I'll be in Orlando, Florida, Ontario, California, Los Angeles, California, one night. Headline the Comedy Store.

[Big J Okerson]

Chicken fingers.

[Henry Foley]

I'm all over the place. Everybody look for a city near [e-mail] come see me doing my live show. And then of course, listen to the bonfire five days a week, Faction Talk Series XM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly, of course, the Legion of Skanks right here on the gas digital network. And then come February, everybody, February 14th, Valentine's Day, I'm gonna be releasing the first half of my double crowd work special. Them they Them is coming out on the 14th, Valentine's Day. 14th of February. So look for that. Share it. Like subscribe to my YouTube, all that shit. I hit 100,000 people on YouTube. Oh, yeah, congratulations.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm in.

[Colm Turrell]

That's all. Come see me on the road. Brand new tour, the Bring five Friends store. Coming to a city near you. Wish you guys would have brought five friends. Tonight. Gonna be this.

[Henry Foley]

There's not enough room for five friends from everybody.

[Colm Turrell]

Next weekend, I'm gonna be in North Charleston, South Carolina on Thursday. Naples, Florida on Friday and Saturday. I got rumors in Winnipeg coming up. I got Salt Lake City coming up, a bunch of dates. Just go to louisofskanks.com also sign up for my mailing list there. I do a bonus podcast there, there all the other pods. I do the Lewis and Zach show, the legendary Legion of Skanks, the Regs. And make sure you guys subscribe to guest schedule. If you love the show, we do the show uncensored and ad free. If you want to see those swastikas, that. That's the only way to see that swastika. You can hear that. You can hear me calling that guy a. That's not gonna be bleeped out like YouTube. We bleep all that out. But yeah, make sure you guys subscribe to Gas Digital, use the promo code war, and it will get you a buck fifty a month off the premium membership. There's a few episodes that aren't available on YouTube or iTunes now. So, yeah, go do that and support the show uncensored, ad free. You get to watch it live, get to chat with all the fans. It's a great time. All right.

[Josh Adam Myers]

All right.

[Henry Foley]

Well, everybody, before we forget what we're all here for and we're all fighting for, remember, this week's winner gets the true and outstanding adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson, where Olivia's life is thrown to disarray when her younger sister, Maddie is diagnosed with leukemia. As Olivia juggles the chaos of Hollywood trying to salvage her dream project, a film adaptation of Don Quixote, she returns to her hometown to support Maddie through her grueling treatment. The bond between the sisters, rich with humor, memories, and fierce devotion, forms the emotional core of the story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I need this book. I need this.

[Big J Okerson]

If by chance we already read that book, can we pick another?

[Henry Foley]

And you guys are pro. You guys are probably pretty worried now thinking, like, what is Lewis even doing sitting here? He's asked out. This game is over for him.

[Colm Turrell]

You would think that.

[Henry Foley]

You would think that. But what you might not be aware of is that for the final four stories, we go double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Double points.

[Colm Turrell]

What the. Dude, it's a big deal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You got a lot of emotion out of rock and roll Billy Joel over there.

[Big J Okerson]

And. And we also eat. Those girls. Chicken fingers.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

Left in a hurry. They left their chicken. They left their chicken nuggets.

[Henry Foley]

Or they went to the bathroom and said, we're gonna walk in here. So. Yes. Whereas before, if you guessed the correct story for somebody, you got two points. If you fooled somebody with your story, you got one point. Now it's double points. Wait, can we get our.

[Big J Okerson]

Can we get.

[Henry Foley]

Can you go grab our chicken fingers to go? Can you please?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What are.

[Colm Turrell]

They said they were undercooked.

[Josh Adam Myers]

They didn't pay for.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, they're undercooked.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why they left. Because of the chicken fingers.

[Henry Foley]

They hated the show.

[Colm Turrell]

They hated the show and they didn't want to pay for them. What was going on?

[Henry Foley]

Josh, tell us if they're undercooked. You don't care.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I do not give a.

[Henry Foley]

You survive botulism three times. The sauce looks weird. E. Coli.

[Big J Okerson]

Those are great.

[Henry Foley]

I've had them here before.

[Big J Okerson]

They're more of a carrig. Is I saying that right?

[Colm Turrell]

Japanese cook perfectly, folks. Wow.

[Josh Adam Myers]

They're over good. They're over good.

[Colm Turrell]

They are over.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're over A little well done.

[Colm Turrell]

They had no idea what they were coming for. But this guy, the cop, he loves the show. He's so happy. How good of a time. It's a great show, right? Cop loves it.

[Henry Foley]

That guy looks masculine and like, he's really good at dancing on roller skates.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

A human conundrum.

[Colm Turrell]

Let's take a quick moment and talk about our brand new sponsor, which is Turtle Beach. Guys, put your hands together for Turtle beach, one of the most trusted names in gaming hardware. They sent us these incredible headphones and I've been using both to play games and to podcast. I just used them on Legion of Skanks the other day. Amazing, high quality sounding headphones with a microphone built in. They're the Turtle beats Stealth 7 hundreds.

[Henry Foley]

They have an insane 80 hour battery life with quick charging, so you rarely have to think about charging it, which is very, very nice. I travel a lot, so it's huge. Battery life is a huge thing for me. Yeah. They can connect to your phone for music streaming or taking calls and you listen to your favorite songs. Gaming. All done with the Stealth 700. Absolutely amazing headsets.

[Colm Turrell]

And they don't just have amazing headsets. They have every gaming accessory you could ever think of. All High quality. You guys heard of. Have heard of Turtle Beach? You probably use Turtle Beach. I was using Turtle beach before they even became a sponsor, so I got super excited when they came on. If you go to turtlebeach.com and order anything, they're gonna give you 10 off with the promo code wars. W, A R, Z. Get the ultimate immersive gaming experience today with Turtle beach. Once again, that is turtlebeach.com use that promo code wars with a Z for 10 off. All right, where were we? All right, Alex. Story number five.

[Alex]

Story number five. At a friend's birthday party, I threw a cake at the magician during his act.

[Henry Foley]

Louis. Now, Lewis loves magic, I bet. Low tolerance for bad magic.

[Big J Okerson]

Whoa.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I would actually say you wouldn't to disrespect magic like that.

[Colm Turrell]

No. Here's the thing.

[Josh Adam Myers]

A magician's code.

[Colm Turrell]

This is obviously a very young kid because there's a magician at the party. So it's like a little fucking kid.

[Henry Foley]

Or you're an adult who's just sick of this magician boring you with this kid's party. You got forced to come to the.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Idea that it was a.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a tough one.

[Henry Foley]

This is tough. This again, I could take back to I want to say column. Perhaps again, because he just comes from a violent place of savage people who don't have electricity yet. And that creates this kind of.

[Big J Okerson]

Iron the rabbits in your hat, you scumbag. Coming out here and pull that shite with me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Pick the goddamn card there.

[Colm Turrell]

Who the is this guy?

[Henry Foley]

Because there's holes in the ring. I can see them.

[Colm Turrell]

That is a very Irish thing to do to, like, just heckle a magician, throw stuff at him.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

I don't think make this cake disappear.

[Josh Adam Myers]

But I think we can rule out.

[Henry Foley]

By the way. You gotta be a fuck, though. Again. These are things when you ruin someone else's party. It's pretty fucking. That's low class. Beyond low class. And I'm gonna say. And I love him to death. That reeks of Louis J. Gomez. 1. He hates bad magic, loves good magic.

[Colm Turrell]

True.

[Henry Foley]

And also doesn't respect a friend enough. He's done one friend in his life that he's respected enough to not ruin their birthday party for years.

[Colm Turrell]

Jay, I feel like you're painting me as being a bad friend. I would describe myself as a great.

[Henry Foley]

Friend until a magician. Well, I got to tell you, the room was.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Don't just say that and drop the mic.

[Colm Turrell]

The room was.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm a great lover.

[Henry Foley]

By the way, the. Yeah, by the way. The two girls who left their chicken fingers were out through that little slit in the glass doing this. No, that's two more votes for me.

[Colm Turrell]

I, I, I feel like Jay was not that. Like, he was not a bratty little kid, and he do that as an adult.

[Henry Foley]

The problem with me, you, in this game is that I go. I feel like I'd remember the story of you pegging cake and a magician, but you also live.

[Colm Turrell]

I've done so much.

[Henry Foley]

You live a life of so much chaos. This could have slipped through the cracks until you thought of it.

[Colm Turrell]

Thank you. What, for the compliment?

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

I love chaos. Chaos Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't be daft, man.

[Colm Turrell]

This could be a Foley story right here. Well, once again, throwing cake. I don't see it.

[Josh Adam Myers]

But he's also. He's gone quiet again, like he did in the last one.

[Henry Foley]

I would eat extra cake as an excuse to have a plate to throw at a magician.

[Big J Okerson]

There you go. Yeah, I throw my empty plate at him.

[Josh Adam Myers]

What if you didn't like the cake? What if it's fruitcake? What about too much icing on it? Jay fucking loved it.

[Henry Foley]

You have to get to flavors like black licorice and human shit before I start going. I won't just ingest it to get the fucking. The good feelings and to fill the hole inside of me that my father left.

[Big J Okerson]

Josh Adamyers, also very quiet.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I would never throw a cake.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This is double points taking a knee.

[Colm Turrell]

No, column's like. Column's a real dick. I can see column throwing a cake at a magician doing that.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I've never.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He's got two cake stories.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

The theme, Josh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

All right.

[Henry Foley]

There it is. Two stories about birthdays involving cakes.

[Colm Turrell]

Crazy having.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That's like an America. This is like prom. This is like prom and where you guys have events for people's stuff where it's like, yo, we have red cups.

[Henry Foley]

You don't celebrate birthdays in Ireland. You're trying to throw people off right here. No. Only this is the country where people celebrate birthdays, you guys. That hasn't made its way across the pond yet.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You guys are gonna look pretty foolish right now.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, God damn it. I think we sold everyone else on problem as well.

[Henry Foley]

Damn it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

He really.

[Colm Turrell]

We shouldn't have given as much explanation for it. I need points.

[Big J Okerson]

Should I. Should I not do column just in case he's right. As a.

[Louis J. Gomez]

As a team now it makes me think it's folding.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Don't be a.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what I mean?

[Henry Foley]

There's no team, dude. Everybody Wants.

[Big J Okerson]

I know.

[Henry Foley]

Adventures. The Hunt Sisters. Before you start playing games here, understand that through Olivia's letters, the reader experiences her struggles with a stalled career, heartbreak over unrequited love for her ex boyfriend, Michael, and her unrelenting determination to be there for Maddie as she battles professional and personal challenges. Olivia's candid, witty, and deeply emotional correspondence reveals the power of family and the resilience. Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

She was a whore.

[Henry Foley]

She was a whore. My apologies. Everybody's locked in.

[Colm Turrell]

Probably wrote his name like it was a column in a building.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how you spell his name.

[Colm Turrell]

No, it's not.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not like that.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It is like that. That's exactly it.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's not.

[Henry Foley]

Josh is right.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm the one whose name it is.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't know what the hell you're talking about.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I gave him two again, my bad.

[Henry Foley]

It does seem like a name. They should have two Ls.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

You have to learn his real name. Little known fact is, Colm, C, O, L, M. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

His last name is Turtle.

[Colm Turrell]

Terrell.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Terrell.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Not call him Terrell.

[Henry Foley]

When people mistakenly spell my full name J, A, Y, S, O, N. I'm like, what? What, do you work at a coffee.

[Louis J. Gomez]

House or some Jason Tatum?

[Henry Foley]

That's. I know. Yeah. I'm not a black swing forward either.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Okay.

[Henry Foley]

Or no one else in the audience.

[Colm Turrell]

Alex. All stories are or all votes are in.

[Alex]

Everybody's correct. That was Colin.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah. You magician hating piece of.

[Big J Okerson]

I got it.

[Colm Turrell]

Why'd you throw the cake at the magician column?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Cause he was just performing at a show.

[Colm Turrell]

He wasn't even bad.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He just tried to make his livelihood.

[Henry Foley]

Because, I don't know, he was enjoying life, feeling good, making children happy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You David Copperfield.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I bounce it off his.

[Henry Foley]

Why don't you make my dad show up again?

[Colm Turrell]

You see, we're just mad at him performing.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You're like, it's funny to throw at people.

[Big J Okerson]

Were you a kid or were you an adult?

[Josh Adam Myers]

I've always been hilarious.

[Colm Turrell]

How old were you?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Like seven, I reckon. Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

Did you get in trouble or did everyone. They're Irish. They're pieces of.

[Josh Adam Myers]

He got mad.

[Henry Foley]

That's my boy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He got. You think he would get mad bad?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah. Right off his old little.

[Big J Okerson]

You want to throw a cake at me?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah. I don't think I was disciplined at all.

[Henry Foley]

No.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I don't think anyone said a single thing. No, it was just. They grabbed that guy and you go. You get back in there. I paid for the hour. You get back out there.

[Henry Foley]

You can't you dodge cake and make magic.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Come here to me. A little bollocks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want to be mystified.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It's blasphemy, what you're doing. It goes against the Bible.

[Colm Turrell]

All right, where are our points at, Alex?

[Josh Adam Myers]

I up on that one.

[Alex]

All right, on the scoreboard, with three points, column, Turo. With five points, Lewis J. Gomez.

[Colm Turrell]

That's right, folks. I'm coming back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at that.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm coming back.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Wait, how did. How did you get four points there?

[Colm Turrell]

Because I guessed the correct person. It's four points now.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, it's four points because now it's double. Double points. You weren't.

[Big J Okerson]

But it should be two.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That should be two.

[Alex]

No, the first round, you get two points for guessing correctly.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Okay. Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

By the way, you weren't lying about the audience. Dude, you loved up four or five stories.

[Henry Foley]

You cannot get invested.

[Big J Okerson]

We're having a good time. The vibe has definitely changed.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this.

[Big J Okerson]

This is the funnest podcast.

[Colm Turrell]

I think those girls were ruining the vibe in here. They were just staring at us, not laughing angrily.

[Henry Foley]

You guys aren't Hannah Burner.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Talk about red flags.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Their chicken so good.

[Henry Foley]

It's so.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It's cooked so well to bow our stomachs.

[Colm Turrell]

Alex, continue with the. The points.

[Alex]

All right, column. With three points, Lewis with five points. Big J and H fully tied with 10 points each. And with 12 points, still in the lead, Josh. Adam Myers.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. Untouchable.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, my God. The perfect game.

[Colm Turrell]

He's.

[Josh Adam Myers]

He's going.

[Henry Foley]

Josh is still playing a perfect game.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, so far.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, as well. All right, Alex, story number six.

[Alex]

Story number six. After a night of drinking, I went to a friend's house to do some drugs. An hour into the hang, her place was raided by the police. I tried to use my birthday as a way to not get arrested.

[Colm Turrell]

Wow. All right, this is Foley or Josh story.

[Henry Foley]

This is Josh.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Dude, sounds like Josh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sounds like I don't have friends.

[Colm Turrell]

You.

[Josh Adam Myers]

No, but you have.

[Colm Turrell]

Can't claim to not have girlfriends. Not have friends. You're a liar.

[Henry Foley]

Josh.

[Colm Turrell]

We know this.

[Henry Foley]

Josh. You went earlier. N. Dude, my stories involve drinking and drugs and the police and getting arrested on when I used to. I try to use my birthday to get out of it type. You explained the story to us when you were telling us what your story is involved.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did not.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, that reminds me.

[Henry Foley]

My story's about not a drinking. When I went to my friends out do some drugs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I hate magicians.

[Big J Okerson]

Or it could be Lewis. Lewis could be trying to throw us off the set.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, don't Forget Lewis. Lewis done a lot of drugs.

[Colm Turrell]

I've done a lot of drugs.

[Henry Foley]

I don't hear Lewis's voice saying the words after a night of drinking.

[Big J Okerson]

He just would have ran. You wouldn't stick around and talk to the cops.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This doesn't sound like Lewis stuff. It's usually just. Just Lewis alone doing drugs. Not like that is true.

[Colm Turrell]

My hard druggings was very much alone.

[Henry Foley]

I think that's the most fun, though, right? You get to watch whatever you want to watch. Yeah, I don't want to do heroin and hang with somebody. I want to do heroin and listen to songs that I want to listen to. I mean, I don't think people.

[Colm Turrell]

I don't think this was a heroin story, Jay.

[Henry Foley]

No, I'm just telling you more like cocaine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay wants to do heroin and listen to Ambrose, buddy.

[Henry Foley]

The day after they tell me I have cancer, I'm trying heroin. Oh, dude. Even if I'll start chemo the next day, I'm gonna try to stay alive, but I'm gonna go like, let me try heroin, because if the chemo doesn't work, I'm gonna jump right back in. I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm gonna do heroin till it's over.

[Colm Turrell]

I bet you chemo feels awesome.

[Henry Foley]

No, thank you.

[Colm Turrell]

What are you talking?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Microwave.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm just kidding.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you do get fentanyl.

[Josh Adam Myers]

All those happy cancer patients.

[Colm Turrell]

You see, first of all, it makes your hair real cool. Everyone knows you're really cool hair.

[Henry Foley]

It does give you a dope Vin Diesel look the rest of your life.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but then you'll have no eyebrows, and that would look weird. Yeah, and no mustache either. We've all know what that looks.

[Colm Turrell]

Well, I have no eyebrows or hair, but my mustache needs to stay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you need to.

[Henry Foley]

That's good.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the first thing to go.

[Henry Foley]

Anybody see Vin Diesel at the Golden Globes?

[Big J Okerson]

That was great.

[Henry Foley]

I was worried about him.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought that was really funny how him and Dwayne.

[Henry Foley]

By the way, that was funny. They have such a real world beef at the Golden Globes. The Golden Globes? The what you call it? Vin Diesel gave an award and he walked out, and the first thing he did, he goes, sub, Dwayne. And the Rock was just like. There's these two guys just gritting at each other for real. They hate each other.

[Big J Okerson]

It was so funny. It was. It made me like him so much.

[Henry Foley]

The Rock would beat the out of and then aggressively rape Vin Diesel.

[Colm Turrell]

You think So?

[Henry Foley]

I.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yes.

[Henry Foley]

100 guarantee.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Vin Diesel's become A bloated fat guy who thinks he's making dance music.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think he would ever get to him. I think he's probably. He probably rolls correct. He's got a bunch of Tier one guys guarding them. I don't think the Rock would stand a chance.

[Colm Turrell]

The Rock is a fake fighter, guys. It's not real.

[Henry Foley]

It doesn't matter. He's an actual monster. Vin Diesel is now fat.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Vin Diesel's also a fake fighter.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Josh Adam Myers]

At least the Rock, he's an actor. Jumped off the tournament buckle.

[Henry Foley]

He's a bouncer for three seconds. And I'm telling you, Vin Diesel now makes club music. Music. He's a guy that makes, like, you know, get on the dance floor. It's wacky.

[Big J Okerson]

Would the Rock have the Maui hook with them? All right. No one? All right, you guys.

[Henry Foley]

I mean, it could be.

[Colm Turrell]

It could be anybody from that side of the table.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody got that? No. Moana. What am I an.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you go, Foley?

[Henry Foley]

I'm going Yosh. I guess I'm following Adam Myers.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm also going, Josh. Adam Myers.

[Big J Okerson]

I also am going.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I followed. I'm trying to follow Josh here.

[Henry Foley]

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. We're all locked in. But I want to say something fun is about to happen here. If it's Josh Column, you are the only thing that saved him. Keeping a perfect game still. Because you're the only thing that's going to give him points. Rat.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I didn't know.

[Henry Foley]

No, I think it's great. It still gives Josh alive right down. Down to the last story.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Wow.

[Henry Foley]

Alex. The answers are in. Break our hearts.

[Alex]

That was Josh. Adam.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It's my birthday, dude. Let me go.

[Colm Turrell]

It's so funny that you literally.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, he explained this entire story.

[Colm Turrell]

You literally said that. It's wild.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I fucked up.

[Colm Turrell]

All my stories involved drugs, drinking, and.

[Henry Foley]

The police having a hang an hour into it. And that's when I. Then the police come, you know, all kinds.

[Colm Turrell]

Stories about me not getting arrested.

[Big J Okerson]

Josh, did it work?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it did not.

[Colm Turrell]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

We were doing coke.

[Big J Okerson]

I would have tased it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We go to my coke dealer's house. It's like three, four in the morning, and then the cops break in. And I had a bag of coke in my pocket. And then they. They go, all right, everybody, we're gonna take everybody out and question them. And they're like, let's talk to that guy first. And they pull me out and I have this idea that I'll take.

[Henry Foley]

You guys want to do coke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I have this idea that they're gonna search me and what I'll do is I'll put my hand in my pocket like I got nothing in my pocket. I grab the coke and then I'll put it up as they search me and I'll let go of it and it'll fly away.

[Big J Okerson]

Like they'll never see that coming.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought it would fly away.

[Colm Turrell]

They're like, he's got a gun. I thought.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought the wind would take it.

[Big J Okerson]

Do any of you gentlemen like magic at all?

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

Lose.

[Henry Foley]

Will even tell you when you do that, you're supposed to throw it behind you. You do the flick, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I did. It was like a thing and then it dropped. And they were like, oh, what is that? And I'm like, please, please don't.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, thank you guys for finding my coke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I say, please don't arrest me. And they're. And they're like. They're like, we don't care. And I'm like, my mom will kill me. And they're like, we don't care. And I'm like. I'm like, I'm in college. We don't care. And I'm like, it's my birthday. And they're like, what was that? I'm like, it's my birthday. And then I was like, I just.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Want to go home and get back.

[Louis J. Gomez]

To my studies and my studies. Yeah, I was in college. And he's in a college town, and.

[Henry Foley]

So I understand, but still the same guy. What are you in hundreds? Yeah, what are you, an Asian 13 year old who got into college?

[Louis J. Gomez]

So the guy goes, looks, he checks my ID and he goes, it really is your birthday. He goes, wait here, we're gonna do something nice for you. And he comes back with like three other cops. And then he goes, really? What's your birthday? So two, three. Happy birthday, dude. They really start singing Happy birthday as they arrest me.

[Henry Foley]

Maybe I. And I tell you this. And Louis will back this up. I hate cops. And I'll tell you what, I like those guys. Those guys rule. That's really funny. Happy birthday to you. And then arrest you anyway.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They arrested me anyway.

[Henry Foley]

Phenomenal work.

[Colm Turrell]

Those guys rule Baltimore.

[Henry Foley]

That makes me feel good about my tax dollars.

[Colm Turrell]

Alex, where our points at?

[Alex]

All right on the scoreboard. With three points, I have column.

[Big J Okerson]

What a loser.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Someone's just born to lie to everyone. You drug addict.

[Henry Foley]

With fair enough.

[Alex]

Nine points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Henry Foley]

Can we get on the screen?

[Alex]

And tied for first place, 14 points each. Big J Okerson, Josh, Adam, Myers and Henry Fulham and Josh.

[Henry Foley]

Adam. Adam Myers still pitching a perfect game.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm still in it. I don't give up, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Even when he loses.

[Henry Foley]

Hey, guys, real quick, let's talk about one of our awesome sponsors over here at Story wars, everyone, and that is yo kratom, home of the 60 kilo. That sounds like we're just on a loop because we've been saying it for years and years. Because no matter what changes in the world, that price does not. 60 kilos of lab tested, high quality Kratom delivered right to your door. Now this is for people over the age of 21 who are already in the market for Kratom. We're not suggesting you start doing Kratom, but if you're already in the market for Kratom, why not get it from Yo Kratom? It is the highest quality and it is coming right to your door. And they are the marquee sponsors for Skank Fest every year and just kind of support everything, every kind of comedy that you love out there. So support the people that support us. Go to yocratum.com Home of the 60 kilo. All right, let's get back into it. Whoa, boy. All right, out. We're down to our final two stories, everybody. Alex, Story number seven.

[Alex]

Story number seven, one birthday. I wanted a handheld video game system. My family told me they couldn't afford it and that they bought me cowboy boots instead. They were kidding. But I ended up getting a upset about not getting the cowboy boots.

[Henry Foley]

Cowboy boots.

[Colm Turrell]

Ah, this is interesting because it does scream Josh.

[Henry Foley]

I was just saying it does. I don't want to say Josh back to back story, but who'd be stoked about getting cowboy boots?

[Big J Okerson]

Let me ask you this, gentlemen, and think about this. Who is really into their footwear? Abstract footwear, if you will, Josh. No, Jay. I don't know anybody else that wears red timberlands. That's true, Mr. Okerson.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, listen, that's a fair argument. But I will say with what you were saying, why I said Josh. Josh goes on some weird Chinese website and orders shoes non stop all week long. Tens of pairs of this point of shoes. Just so when we stop on a corner together, black people will go, I see you, dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yep, yep.

[Henry Foley]

And he pays $50 for $7,000 pairs of shoes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They're more expensive than that. But it's the real shoe. I don't know why anybody's buying real shoes from Nike. Just buy the Chinese TEU shoes. They rule.

[Henry Foley]

I mean, he's telling you again right now. That it's him. Am I crazy? But it's too on the nose.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sounds like a J thing.

[Henry Foley]

Video's not looking for cowboy boots, so I'm taking Floy and me out of it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay loves video games.

[Big J Okerson]

He does.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes, he does.

[Big J Okerson]

He also likes cowboy boots.

[Henry Foley]

I've never worn cowboy boots.

[Colm Turrell]

Said I couldn't afford it, but they could afford. It was a prank, so.

[Big J Okerson]

But believable. So who are the pores in the group?

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

I think everyone here except for Josh grew up pretty poor. Right? Did you grow up poor, Josh, or.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colm Turrell]

You have rich kid.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, rich.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I had rich. I had rich friends.

[Colm Turrell]

But cowboy boots are also very expensive.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It's like, really?

[Colm Turrell]

I own a pair of cowboy boots. They were like $380.

[Henry Foley]

If you were.

[Big J Okerson]

If you were a poor Irish kid, a pair of cowboy boots, that would be insane. All right.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, that would be.

[Josh Adam Myers]

No, it would not. It would not. I don't want.

[Henry Foley]

I will say it, too. I went to Allen's Boots. I always go when I do Moon Tower in Austin, we always get, like, a piece of, like, something from there for our country western outfits.

[Big J Okerson]

You do wear cowboy.

[Henry Foley]

And I go, you just lied and said, no, I'm not lying.

[Big J Okerson]

You lied and said you've never worn cowboy. I've seen you we cowboy boots at Moon Tower.

[Henry Foley]

No, you haven't. You see me wear a country western cowboy cowboy hat. But the boots is always thing I hold out on because I go for a gag thing that I'm gonna wear once. Lewis is right. They cost like 400. The ones you go, these are funny, but I'll rock these tonight are 500.

[Colm Turrell]

You'd be lucky if you could find a pair of cowboy boots in Texas for under 250. They're crazy expensive.

[Henry Foley]

100. He's not wrong at all. And I'm telling you. But my parents could not afford that. That.

[Colm Turrell]

You know what?

[Henry Foley]

I also did cowboy boots in the middle of Philadelphia. I would have been laughed out of school by those black kids.

[Big J Okerson]

But again, and no disrespect to you, even though you grew up in certain financial situations, the trashy thing to do is always when the poor family would buy something like a Game Boy, Right? They couldn't pay the heat or something like that, but they would get him a game system.

[Henry Foley]

Sure.

[Josh Adam Myers]

What year did the Game Boy.

[Henry Foley]

Game Boy was huge.

[Colm Turrell]

I mean, there's been handheld systems.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Are we all alive for Game Boy?

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Great.

[Colm Turrell]

Handheld held.

[Henry Foley]

But Game Boy is the first. And I was. And Game Boy is right in my Pocket.

[Big J Okerson]

But who wouldn't say, Game boy. Who would say?

[Colm Turrell]

Well, they might have. They didn't want to. Maybe they didn't want to age us.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Could have been an NSync.

[Henry Foley]

That's true. That could age. That could age for sure.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm gonna get the. The voting started. I think Foley, he's playing a game here right now and he's been playing in hard.

[Henry Foley]

No, but I don't know. Cowboy boots.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm. I looked at his energy.

[Big J Okerson]

I saw you looked at me before she answered. Asked that question and you look like you wanted to beat me up, dude.

[Colm Turrell]

I think it's Foley. I don't know why I'm having a. I'm going with my gut right now.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, I. I've been wrong all the time. I'm going. Josh. Adam S. He. He sounds like he likes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Man.

[Big J Okerson]

This is serious business.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay and Foley, man, the game. You need to persuade.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You need to persuade me that it's Foley, cuz.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you going, Josh?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't. Cuz he's getting points now. I want to keep the streak, but I feel like I'm gonna break it on this one. I think it's you, Jay.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I just follow your gut, bro. You haven't been wrong.

[Henry Foley]

Go with your gut, bro.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm going to jam. Oh, the little smirk on Jay's face.

[Henry Foley]

The final answers are in, guys, break our hearts. And tell Josh he is not pitching a perfect game.

[Alex]

Sorry, Josh. That was Big J Okerson.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. God damn it. Bastard. Guy should have called. My first instinct, that's Jay cleaned up just now.

[Henry Foley]

I want you to keep your streak so much. I was like sure when you said me, I'm like, sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you lie to me about the cowboy boots?

[Henry Foley]

Yes.

[Colm Turrell]

God damn it.

[Henry Foley]

No, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no. You've never seen me. I've never worn a pair ever in my life.

[Big J Okerson]

That was pretty goddamn.

[Henry Foley]

So now the story is my mom started dating my step pop. They met at a club. I'm pretty sure they fucked the first night. But also that same night, a guy broke into our house who my mom went on a date with once. And there was a whole thing either way. I thought my step pop was the coolest motherfucker. He lifted weights. He was like, jacked. I thought he was the coolest dude in the world. And he had a pair of cowboy boots, which I always thought was cool on him and I thought would be good on me. And then they told me me. I was like, I want A Game Boy for my birthday. Nintendo Game Boy. They said, we can't get that or we'll see what we can do. And then, like a week before my birthday, they started hype me up. They go, we couldn't get you a Game Boy. But we. We were able to get. We got you cowboy boots because. No, you like Joe's cowboy boots. And then I was like, man, I wanted a Game Boy. And then started for the week to get super into the idea of these cowboy boots. I'm like, I'm gonna look like Joe, and Joe's jacked and cool, and I'm gonna wear cowboy boots. And then they. And the day of, they gave me a box wrap that was clearly a shoe box. And they opened the shoebox and the Game Boy was in there. And a part of me was like, oh, you got me. The Game Boy goes, are you guys took the cowboy boots out of the box to put the Game Boy in here? There was no cowboy boots. I was like, oh, man. I thought I was gonna become a cowboy boots guy.

[Colm Turrell]

Well, Jay, you were a fat kid. They were just regular, regular boots. They were. They were a cowboy boots.

[Henry Foley]

They were boots made by a cow. Yeah, they were made of cow.

[Big J Okerson]

So I was right the whole time.

[Colm Turrell]

Jay pulled ahead very hard. Just a big one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was a huge.

[Colm Turrell]

That was a huge round for Big J for double point.

[Big J Okerson]

That was great playing right there. That was great. That was good.

[Colm Turrell]

Lion Alex, we're a point set.

[Alex]

All right. On the scoreboard column with three points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You suck.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I've been dup.

[Alex]

All right, I have Lewis on the board with nine points. Josh coming back.

[Colm Turrell]

Thank you, boys.

[Alex]

Josh and Foley are tied with 14 points each, and Big J Okerson has taken the lead with 22 points.

[Colm Turrell]

Jesus Christ.

[Big J Okerson]

It's over, right?

[Colm Turrell]

There's.

[Henry Foley]

No, no, no.

[Big J Okerson]

You.

[Colm Turrell]

You guys can still win. I'm out. Columns out, technically, but.

[Henry Foley]

But the thing is, you can still do what, Louis?

[Colm Turrell]

I can play Giant Killer.

[Henry Foley]

Yay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What is that?

[Henry Foley]

Giant Killer? You don't watch sports, dude, you know what? Giant Killers. He could the game up for somebody, and, you know, he could it up for me.

[Colm Turrell]

He's not catching on. Like, double points. Jay, it's not the same. It's not.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's definitely doesn't have the same ring or.

[Big J Okerson]

I genuinely feel defeated right now.

[Henry Foley]

Don't.

[Big J Okerson]

Like I've lost my moj.

[Colm Turrell]

No, you're still in, dude. You can still.

[Henry Foley]

You are very much in.

[Big J Okerson]

I let Jay outline me that's.

[Henry Foley]

You can still win his.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why don't you have a noise for. For giant killer you need.

[Henry Foley]

We don't have a noise for it, but. But here's the thing I'm gonna tell you right now. I'm so excited because at once funny, poignant and deeply moving, the novel here is about a celebration of the enduring love between siblings and the ways we fight for those who mean the most to us, even when we're faced with the unimaginable. So if you think you're playing for nothing for this next round of Foley, if that doesn't goose you up and get you half hard for this, then you're not alive.

[Big J Okerson]

You outlive me. You truly are the master, Alex.

[Henry Foley]

Our final story. Story.

[Big J Okerson]

Knew it.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You should have followed your heart, bro.

[Alex]

Story number eight.

[Josh Adam Myers]

All right.

[Alex]

My sibling and I have birthdays a week apart, so my family would get us one cake and have us split it.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Hey, another cake story.

[Big J Okerson]

That's Irish. That's Irish dirt bag shit right there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wait a second. Second wait.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Did someone get arrested? What's going on? Who's.

[Big J Okerson]

That's iron.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So it's not me.

[Colm Turrell]

Jay's too far.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Me and my siblings are exactly nine.

[Henry Foley]

I'm too far apart from my siblings. Why is it would that matter?

[Colm Turrell]

Well, because I feel like they're not going to give you guys a joint birthday party for.

[Henry Foley]

But I mean, 11 years apart. So if I was like 11, and.

[Colm Turrell]

You'Re also trying to convince me it's you, so I don't think it's you.

[Henry Foley]

Right, but it doesn't matter how far apart you are, your birthdays can be close to each other, you dipshit.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Josh is an own.

[Colm Turrell]

No, I'm just saying. But they wouldn't give like a 10 year old kid and a 21 year old man birthday parties together. That's psychotic.

[Henry Foley]

A 21. If my family. If my family was buying me a cake on my 21st birthday, dude, I'd feel like a fucking jerk off.

[Big J Okerson]

Cowboy boots. So you take that with you. Lion. Son of a.

[Henry Foley]

Something, something.

[Colm Turrell]

Do you have a sibling?

[Big J Okerson]

I do.

[Colm Turrell]

Colm, do you have a sibling?

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, two.

[Henry Foley]

Everyone here's got a sibling.

[Colm Turrell]

Josh is.

[Big J Okerson]

I have a sister, but how many. Louis, you just have your sister.

[Colm Turrell]

I have a sister, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay.

[Henry Foley]

Yep, several.

[Colm Turrell]

My sister's birthday, September 5th. Mine is April 1st.

[Henry Foley]

No, direct me and my mom and dad, I was the only load he shot in her. But my stepfather and mother have three and my dad, no, he probably shot.

[Colm Turrell]

Other loads in her. She loved Cummings.

[Henry Foley]

She loved come.

[Colm Turrell]

But your mother was a come whore.

[Henry Foley]

I Don't know. She was for sure a come whore. But also she would. Her thing was that she could queef come.

[Colm Turrell]

She could shoot it out of her.

[Henry Foley]

Which makes guys think it's hawkish. You would make it like bubble up. Like people are blowing straw bubbles and milk with the cum in her. No, because Lewis was presenting it differently.

[Colm Turrell]

That's true. That's true. I'm so sorry.

[Henry Foley]

I think Lewis was just making like she's some slutty come whore. She's not for one man. She will blow a couple bubbles with come out of her. No, the mustache guy understands. Yeah, I see. No, he's nodding his head. Yeah, he understands.

[Colm Turrell]

Let's see. Me and my sibling have this could be Lewis.

[Henry Foley]

I don't know his sister's birthday because I know her but never took the time to find out her birth.

[Josh Adam Myers]

But this sounds like you could have split it with one of your half. Your half siblings, Jay. No doubt you could have a little half. Half sibling birthday cake thing.

[Henry Foley]

It's possible. I lived with now two of the half siblings. I know very little. It's a full sibling, but yeah, I don't care. Regurgit. I'm okay with it. I love it. My mom. You're getting the back one out again here in a second. You locked it in on my mom's column. You asked the question my mother and stepfather have. I have three half siblings there.

[Colm Turrell]

That's a sibling and a half ch.

[Henry Foley]

He's not wrong. The guy's good at. I forget what it used to be called when you combine fractions. It was called something.

[Colm Turrell]

Thank you. He said math.

[Henry Foley]

Math. I'll accept m. Math. Let's go to the judges. I'll accept math.

[Colm Turrell]

My siblings and I have. My sibling and I have birthday.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, my three on my mom's side. Yeah. Way younger than me.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Like Lewis has told. Lewis told me that.

[Henry Foley]

This before.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I think Lewis has told me this before.

[Colm Turrell]

I told you this before.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I think you've told me this before.

[Colm Turrell]

I think column is literally making something up because it's him. You piece of not.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I've already lost.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis did rattle off those. When was your. When's your birthday?

[Colm Turrell]

September 5th. Minus April 1st.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Henry Foley]

You've already lost.

[Josh Adam Myers]

September 5th.

[Colm Turrell]

I 100%. I know my sister's birthday. I don't care. Please vote. I don't care.

[Big J Okerson]

Hasn't there been.

[Colm Turrell]

I'm losing this game.

[Big J Okerson]

Hasn't there been a bunch of column stories? Is Alex so evil that she would do it again?

[Colm Turrell]

It's all randomly generated. Random generator so you could have as many as you want.

[Henry Foley]

It could be three in a row of one person.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I can't prove that it's not me, but there is just a part of me that feels like this is, like, gay. So it's like, well, this could be.

[Henry Foley]

Let me tell you something. Lou's father was killed when he was very young. Him and his sister could have similar birthdays, and his mother was working on a single mother's heroin addict hooker salary.

[Colm Turrell]

Yeah, yeah, my mother was in a hooker or a heroin addict when we were having birthday parties at that, you guys.

[Henry Foley]

The birthday party stopped when she went there.

[Colm Turrell]

No, she.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, your sister and your birthday.

[Henry Foley]

She goes, I can't afford birthday parties with all this heroin I'm doing.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis. When were they again?

[Colm Turrell]

My birthday is December 14th, and hers was.

[Henry Foley]

That's a lie. That's definitely a lie. That's.

[Colm Turrell]

My birthday's April 1st. Hers is September 5th. She's a Virgo.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Oh, man.

[Colm Turrell]

She's a Virgo.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Can we fact check that?

[Colm Turrell]

No, I. I really feel like it's column. I feel like he literally threw it on me. It's not me. So I never told you the story.

[Josh Adam Myers]

So the fact that, like, you're feeling.

[Colm Turrell]

Like you're a liar.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I promise you it's not me. Someone's witness, and it's not me. Why would I lie at this point?

[Henry Foley]

Because. Because you want to play giant killer. It's a thing.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I want to take J out somehow. So we need to figure out who it is.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm going Column.

[Henry Foley]

You're wrong.

[Josh Adam Myers]

You just wasted your moment. I promise you it's not me. I promise you it's not me.

[Colm Turrell]

I kind of believe him now. Reason for me to lie, guys, he's going pretty hard. It's too late.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Not me.

[Big J Okerson]

Give me those goddamn chicken fingers.

[Henry Foley]

Audience. Even if you haven't been here. How great is story wars? Am I right?

[Josh Adam Myers]

It could be J. Could be Josh.

[Colm Turrell]

It could be Josh has not said a goddamn word. But this doesn't include drugs or alcohol or the police.

[Henry Foley]

But Josh was poor.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm aiming for Jay.

[Henry Foley]

He says he was poor. And him and his sister. I don't know.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Yeah, I'm going for Jay.

[Henry Foley]

But he's also a Jewish family, which, again, to save money. That does make sense.

[Josh Adam Myers]

That's you.

[Big J Okerson]

You're Jewish. You're Jewish, Jay.

[Henry Foley]

I'm also. I grew up with the Jewish side of the family, except that my mother is the Jew and she has immediately accepted Christ into her from every guy she's since My father, who's also.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Jay.

[Colm Turrell]

Josh.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It can't be full Josh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It can't be Foley because he changes.

[Colm Turrell]

Is this you?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes, Josh.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Josh.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not me. I would lose.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This sounds like something.

[Colm Turrell]

Ah, I'm going with my instinct.

[Henry Foley]

Josh going too. Also Josh.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm going.

[Henry Foley]

By the way, Josh is, for the record, just gave a little to himself. It's a real tell.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm going.

[Big J Okerson]

It is Josh because he wrote me and he knows it's not me.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'm going. Josh too. I feel like Josh would be still bitter about this.

[Henry Foley]

This is years later, the final story.

[Josh Adam Myers]

This is Jay. I'll be.

[Henry Foley]

So the final answers are in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's Lewis.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can tell it's Lewis. It's Louis.

[Henry Foley]

Alex. She. Oh, she's smiling so big. She's cheesing hard. Everybody, this story belongs songs to Lewis.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I knew it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I knew it. Gosh.

[Colm Turrell]

I didn't win, but I got a good showing at the end.

[Henry Foley]

No, Lewis, you didn't win. But you played. What?

[Colm Turrell]

Giant Killer.

[Henry Foley]

No, you didn't.

[Colm Turrell]

No, I didn't.

[Henry Foley]

You didn't play Giant Killer at all because I'll tell you who won. Alex, why don't you tell everybody who won?

[Colm Turrell]

I'll tell you what happened. My sister's birthday is March 26, not September 5. My mom's birthday was September 5, so I had that one locked in my head. I can only get certain dates in my head at the same time. And yeah, every year we'd get one cake and it would say happy birthday to Lewis and Jenny on the cake. And it was just depressing.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I knew you mentioned this before somewhere.

[Colm Turrell]

I don't think I ever mentioned it.

[Henry Foley]

No, You've been bitching about it ever since.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay. You didn't know that. You know he never told you that?

[Henry Foley]

I don't think so.

[Josh Adam Myers]

It's too hard to remember.

[Colm Turrell]

We're both Aries. Me and my sister.

[Henry Foley]

Me and Louis. I promise.

[Big J Okerson]

Good lion. Good lion.

[Henry Foley]

I promise this to every crowd and every panel we have. Me and Lewis aren't rooting for the other one to win. We want to win. We beat each other. Sure. Does the book stay here in the library? Yes. But are we possessive over our own books? Absolutely.

[Colm Turrell]

Alex, give us these final points.

[Alex]

I was bad column. Terrell at the end of the game, has a total of three points.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Still three points.

[Big J Okerson]

Still a three.

[Henry Foley]

That was round one. That was round one the whole game.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I didn't get one right.

[Colm Turrell]

And I really tried. I got something from the.

[Louis J. Gomez]

From Our.

[Colm Turrell]

From our producers. That is the lowest score in Story wars history.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Is it really?

[Henry Foley]

Is it?

[Colm Turrell]

I.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Last time I was here.

[Big J Okerson]

He can't read.

[Colm Turrell]

No.

[Henry Foley]

You know what? We're going to double check that column, but there might be an award coming your way.

[Josh Adam Myers]

I'll take it.

[Henry Foley]

I gotta say, first round, almost a sweep. Three points of fooling people. Three of a possible four points you got in the first round. Never scored a play.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Well, you know what? This is just. This is a stupid podcast. And you know no one actually takes it seriously, right? You guys play it every week.

[Big J Okerson]

This is the best podcast.

[Colm Turrell]

Thank you.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So fun. So fun.

[Colm Turrell]

Alex, continue with the points.

[Alex]

All right, tied with 14 points each, Josh Adam Myers and Henry Foley.

[Henry Foley]

Wow.

[Colm Turrell]

Wow.

[Alex]

You get to keep your place with 17 points. Lewis J.

[Henry Foley]

What a come up.

[Colm Turrell]

What a comeback, baby.

[Henry Foley]

Big come up.

[Colm Turrell]

Oh, my God, it was such a good comeback. You should call me Big J's mom.

[Josh Adam Myers]

Sure.

[Henry Foley]

She likes coming her back.

[Colm Turrell]

She loves coming her back.

[Henry Foley]

Which, weirdly enough, she got a tramp stamp. And I swear to God this is true. With four hearts linking. And when you ask, she goes. It's four hearts for my four babies, Me and my brother and two sisters. And that's where my stepfather comes.

[Colm Turrell]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that true or is that a lie like you've been doing all night?

[Henry Foley]

No, that. That's true.

[Colm Turrell]

Alex, make it official.

[Alex]

Your winner for the night with 22 points, Big J Okerson.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Good job.

[Colm Turrell]

Damn it, Big J, you. You won. True and outstanding Adventures of the Hunt Sisters by Elizabeth Robinson. It stays in house at the Story wars library. Clap it up for Big J, everyone.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Congrats.

[Henry Foley]

How about you clap it up for our entire panel, everybody. H. Foley column. Tyrell, Josh, Adam Myers, jam in the house. Thank you guys so much for being here. We'll catch you next time on Story wars, everybody.