036. Keith Robinson, Rachel Feinstein, & Dru Montana | Anger

Summary

Story Warz Episode 036: Keith Robinson, Rachel Feinstein, & Dru Montana | Anger

Released April 11, 2025 | Live from The Stand Comedy Club, New York City

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Introduction

In Episode 036 of Story Warz, hosted by GaS Digital Network, the comedic talents of Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez welcome three contestants—Drew Montana, Rachel Feinstein, and Keith Robinson—to engage in a spirited battle of storytelling centered around the theme of Anger. The live audience at The Stand Comedy Club buzzes with anticipation as the rules are laid out for an evening filled with humor, deception, and sharp wit.

Game Rules and Contestants

At [04:41], Rachel Feinstein provides a concise explanation of the game's mechanics: each participant, including hosts Big Jay and Luis, has submitted three to five stories on the subject of anger. These stories are read aloud by the producer, Alex, and the panel must discern whether each tale is their own or someone else's. Correctly identifying a story grants two points, while successfully deceiving others earns one point. Participants write their final guesses on dry erase boards, adding an element of strategy to their gameplay.

Round 1: Crying Over a Sandwich ([08:00] - [14:00])

The first story revolves around an individual who becomes so upset over a dropped sandwich on the train tracks that tears flow uncontrollably:

Louis J. Gomez [08:14]: "I once completely spazzed on an ex because they dropped my sandwich on the train tracks. I actually cried watching my sandwich get run over."

Immediately, the room erupts with accusations. Drew Montana and Rachel suspect Big Jay, while Keith Robinson contends it's none of them, ultimately revealing it to be his own story:

Keith Robinson [17:18]: "It was him. It's Keith."

Rachel playfully rebukes the accusations, leading to a humorous yet heated exchange. Drew earns points by correctly identifying Keith as the storyteller, setting the tone for a competitive night.

Round 2: Blinker Blues ([23:12] - [32:30])

The second story describes intense road rage triggered by a driver’s failure to use blinkers:

Louis J. Gomez [23:24]: "If I'm driving and someone doesn't use their blinker when turning in front of me, I will blast my horn and sometimes follow them."

The panel dives into a frenzy of guesses, with each contestant attempting to outwit the others. Drew asserts:

Drew Montana [24:43]: "I think, by the way, maybe it's Jay, because why would you throw it to Keith, who obviously doesn't drive or follow people?"

After a barrage of jokes and assertions, Drew secures the correct guess again, reinforcing his lead with his sharp observational skills.

Round 3: Snack Attack ([33:03] - [46:00])

A comedian's frustration leads to a peculiar incident where snacks are thrown on stage:

Louis J. Gomez [33:03]: "A guy once threw snacks at me on stage because he was angry that I wasn't making him laugh."

The story sparks a debate over its origin, with Rachel eventually claiming it as her own. Keith and Big Jay throw playful jabs, but ultimately, Rachel's convincing narrative wins her additional points:

Rachel Feinstein [34:11]: "I have had chicken wings thrown at me before."

Round 4: Obscenity Outburst ([49:15] - [57:00])

This story details an incident of public obscenity:

Louis J. Gomez [49:15]: "I once got arrested for yelling obscenities at someone from a car window."

The panel scrutinizes each participant's past behaviors to deduce the true author. Rachel deftly navigates the conversation, leading to another correct identification by Drew, who remains at the top of the scoreboard.

Round 5: Aggression at Home ([67:14] - [88:20])

A tale of domestic frustration culminates in the destruction of property:

Louis J. Gomez [67:14]: "Once on a very loud morning while I was trying to sleep, I kicked a hole in the wall in pure anger."

The emotional intensity of the story prompts deep analysis. Participants weigh in with personal anecdotes and humorous deflections. Drew's keen insight allows him to attribute the story correctly, widening his point lead significantly.

Round 6: Almost Fights at Concert ([95:xx] - [106:30])

A near-violent altercation during a religious concert provides the next narrative:

Louis J. Gomez [106:30]: "I almost fought a guy at a Journey concert because he wouldn't stop talking during 'Faithfully.' I love that song."

The vibrant description leads to a cascade of playful insults and strategic voting. Drew maintains his dominance by accurately recognizing Rachel's storytelling prowess, pushing him closer to victory.

Final Scores and Winner ([116:35] - [120:11])

As the game progresses, Drew Montana emerges as the clear frontrunner:

Louis J. Gomez [117:52]: "And in the lead with 26 points, Drew Montana."

Despite fierce competition and ongoing banter, Drew's consistent performance and ability to deceive and detect garner him the highest score, culminating in his triumph:

Drew Montana [120:35]: "And in the lead with 26 points, Drew Montana."

Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with Drew Montana celebrating his victory, sealing his status as the episode's standout performer. The hosts and contestants engage in one last round of humorous exchanges, reinforcing the camaraderie and competitive spirit that define Story Warz. Drew secures the prize—a copy of "Dove in an Iron Cauldron" by Hadas Knox—marking a satisfying end to an evening of laughter and lively competition.

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Notable Quotes:

• Rachel Feinstein [05:29]: "You're about to have the greatest night of your fucking life."

• Keith Robinson [12:01]: "I want you guys to know, not as an audience, not to ever feel sorry for Keith. He's a toxic person. He's a very bad person."

• Drew Montana [14:05]: "I think it's Rachel."

• Louis J. Gomez [32:38]: "And in first place, with eight points, Drew Montana."

• Big J Okerson [104:43]: "And in the lead with 26 points, Drew Montana."

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Insights and Highlights:

• Dynamic Interactions: The episode is characterized by rapid-fire exchanges, playful insults, and strategic alliances, showcasing the contestants' chemistry and comedic timing.

• Strategic Gameplay: Drew Montana's consistent ability to both deceive others and accurately guess the origins of stories highlights his strategic acumen in the game.

• Humorous Deception: The essence of Story Warz—blending storytelling with deception—provides endless opportunities for humor, making each round engaging and unpredictable.

• Participant Personalities: The distinct personalities of Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, Rachel Feinstein, Keith Robinson, and Drew Montana add depth and variety to the interactions, enriching the overall entertainment value.

Conclusion

Episode 036 of Story Warz delivers on its promise of "a hilarious game of wits and deception," anchored by the sharp humor and engaging dynamics of its hosts and contestants. Through a series of cleverly crafted stories on Anger, the episode not only entertains but also captivates listeners with its blend of comedy and competitive spirit. Drew Montana's victory serves as a testament to his prowess in both storytelling and strategic gameplay, making this episode a standout in the Story Warz series.

Transcript

[Big J Okerson]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Louis J. Gomez]

Start your free 30 day trial at audible.com wondery us that's audible.com wondery us.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Lady. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the story warriors, Big J. Okerson and Lewis J. Gomez.

[Keith Robinson]

What's up?

[Rachel Feinstein]

What's up? What is up, everybody? How you feeling out there? Make some noise. Welcome to Story wars of ooh, it's bright here today. Welcome to Story wars, everybody. We are your story warriors. Big J Okerson and the Puerto Rican rattlesnake Louis J. Gomez, everybody.

[Drew Montana]

Hello. What's up, guys? All right, look at this. We got a sold out show here at the stand.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No one knows it's audio. Yeah, dude, we always ask every time we do the show how many people here are familiar with Story Wars. How many people here are not familiar with Story Wars?

[Drew Montana]

I just watched this guy go, what the fuck is this?

[Rachel Feinstein]

What are we, comedy club?

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

This sucks shit.

[Drew Montana]

Yes. This guy wanted the the possibility that Dave Chappelle or somebody famous was gonna walk in. It's not happening, sir.

[Rachel Feinstein]

If you are new to the show, we will explain it momentarily once we get our amazing contestants up here on the stage. Let's start bringing them up right now. Our first contestant tonight on Story wars, you know him from the Do Rag and the Deer Tag podcast. Philadelphia's own the hilarious Drew Montana, everybody.

[Drew Montana]

I guess you say what can make me feel this way.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My girl.

[Drew Montana]

And our second contestant, you know her from her brand new special on Netflix called Big Guy. Clap it up as loud as can for Rachel Feinstein.

[Big J Okerson]

Beautiful lady, you lovely lady.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Who's that lady? And last but not least, our final contestant, everybody. Also from the fighting city of Philadelphia, my mentor in comedy. I owe so much to this guy. He also has two specials that you can check out. It is the legend, the hilarious Keith Robinson. I'm your doctor, what you need?

[Big J Okerson]

Want some coke?

[Drew Montana]

Have some weed?

[Big J Okerson]

You know me, I'M your friend, your main boy.

[Drew Montana]

The impact to you.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm your pushing.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm your push. Why is he.

[Drew Montana]

The audience actually thinks it's Arsenio Hall.

[Big J Okerson]

He was awesome.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Ain't I clean?

[Big J Okerson]

Bad machine.

[Drew Montana]

Super cool, super feeling good.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We wanted you to be at the end of the table in case you had to make a quick escape.

[Big J Okerson]

He is also the head writer. He was the head writer on Leave it to Beaver and Sanford and Sons.

[Keith Robinson]

If. If there's a fire in here, me and Rachel are.

[Drew Montana]

Dude, we're cooked.

[Keith Robinson]

If there's a fire, he goes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Everyone's. We gotta go in order, man.

[Keith Robinson]

Sorry, single file, man.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Thank you, all three of you, for joining us today. Quick explanation of the game if you're unfamiliar with story wars. Everybody on this panel, including Louis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, Louis.

[Drew Montana]

Anger.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Anger. Our lovely producer Alex is going to read those stories off one at a time. They will appear here on the screen. If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to fool everybody else. It's not your story. And if it is your story, or if it's not your story, it is your job to guess whose story it is.

[Drew Montana]

And for every correct guess, you get two points. Every person you fool, you get one point. Whoops. And once you write your the name on this dry erase board and put it in the slot, that is your final answer. It sounds a lot more confusing than it is. This guy wants to leave already. We'll give you a refund on tickets, sir. That's okay. We're gonna have a great time.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're about to have the greatest night of your fucking life.

[Drew Montana]

Sorry. We're gonna blow your fucking mind.

[Naim Ali]

Okay.

[Drew Montana]

Your wife was gonna leave you before tonight, but after tonight's show, we've just saved a relationship for another six months.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We just fought more months of living this lie. The sham of a marriage.

[Naim Ali]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I can't fucking write.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Okay, that is gonna be a problem. Do you want to whisper?

[Big J Okerson]

He can't read either, but he can read menus with pictures on them.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, nice.

[Big J Okerson]

So that's. In that case. That's helpful.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Should we just give you a picture of everybody up here and you can put it on the thing?

[Big J Okerson]

He can read IHOP menus. That's all.

[Naim Ali]

I'll try, though. I'm gonna try to do a left hand.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Let's get him.

[Big J Okerson]

I want you to help him or something.

[Drew Montana]

No, Rachel, you're In competition with him. You're going to cheat.

[Big J Okerson]

It's true. That is true.

[Drew Montana]

Well, here's the thing also, guys, I know what you think. We're just playing fun. We're not playing for fun. Rachel actually asked me. She was like, is there a prize or something? Funny you should ask Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Of course there's a prize. Every week here we are playing for a book from the Story wars library. Tonight's book you're playing for is Dove in an Iron Cauldron by Hadas Knox. Holy shit. Right? 1850, Hudson, New York. America teeters on the edge of upheaval, a cauldron of tension, as the spiritualist movement casts its eerie spell over a divided nation. Fleeing famine in Ireland. May Connolly dreams of a quiet life. But her husband's betrayal forces her in the Hudson's shadowed corners. There, her gift for speaking with the dead becomes both a fragile salvation and a dangerous curse. Dubbed the pretty little Spiritualist, May's growing notoriety draws admirers and skeptics alike. None more determined than Clement Stoker, a conductor on the Underground Railroad bent on unmasking her as a fraud. So it's not for nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

1850, that was like legit. Impressive, Jay. I don't know if you guys know this, but Jay comes from old money.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You guys may not be aware.

[Big J Okerson]

Old West Philadelphia generational wealth.

[Rachel Feinstein]

This generation. I haven't. I don't even know what things are.

[Big J Okerson]

Married in the great Howard Johnson's.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's right. My father, Mr. Gatsby. I think everyone's ready to play this game. What do you say?

[Drew Montana]

I think so.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Are we ready for war then, Alex, with no further ado, Story number one.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number one. I once completely spazzed on an ex because they dropped my sandwich on the train tracks. I actually cried watching my sandwich get run over.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, this sounds like a big J story. And I'm not calling you that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I thought we were all gonna just say Rachel. For sure it's me crying over a sandwich.

[Drew Montana]

Well, I mean, Jay, you are the biggest on the panel.

[Keith Robinson]

It is girl stuff for sure. And that either is Rachel or big J100.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That is fair. That is fair. These nails were meant to hold tears back on a subway platform.

[Big J Okerson]

Girl stuff is offensive. I prefer whole stuff or vag stuff.

[Drew Montana]

Whoever story this is, they get their eyebrows ready and they paint their nails.

[Naim Ali]

It's Jay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What?

[Naim Ali]

It's absolutely Jay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You think I cried over a sandwich? Genuinely?

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

How dare all of you.

[Big J Okerson]

All I know is, whoever story this is is still looking for his dad at OG Oz Fest. Every so proud of the line. I'm still am. Can I just wait? But what about Keith? Is his home attendant going to come or what's going to happen?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, Keith would drop a sandwich.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's go to a caller and decide whether we should have Keith's home attendant help him.

[Naim Ali]

Can we not have stroke jokes?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, can we, please? Although Keith is again, most likely to drop a sandwich on train tracks.

[Drew Montana]

Well, the X dropped the sandwich, right?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Maybe Keith was the ex.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah, maybe they dropped.

[Big J Okerson]

Was Keith's cane from Marshalls. Really the culprit. Marshall's cane that tapped the sandwich on the old tracks.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But I will say that also, this could be broke. This could also be a broke thing.

[Drew Montana]

Okay?

[Rachel Feinstein]

You dropped a sandwich. And several of us have been broke here. Very broke. Where we would cry, but Drew is.

[Drew Montana]

The one that's currently broke, is what you're saying.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I would, but what I was getting at in the nicest way is that Drew is currently the broken Drew.

[Keith Robinson]

By the way, over a drop sandwich for sure.

[Drew Montana]

Big J definitely was being mean, and then he pulled back because he looked at Drew and he was like, oh.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I like Drew so much.

[Drew Montana]

He's such a nice guy.

[Naim Ali]

What the fuck is that? So what?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Get Drew.

[Drew Montana]

Drew, get him also, I mean, look, Philly. You're from Philly. Three of you guys are from Philly. They love their sandwiches in Philly. They could be any of the three guys.

[Keith Robinson]

You like sandwiches where you're from. What the fuck is that? Yeah, what, do you not eat sandwiches from Jersey?

[Drew Montana]

I mean, not enough to cry over it. We don't have cryable sandwiches.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We do have cryball sandwiches in Philadelphia.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but I think if it.

[Keith Robinson]

Was me, I would have wrote cheesesteak. That's not a sandwich.

[Drew Montana]

That would have been too obvious.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They'll change.

[Naim Ali]

No, no, no, no. He's from Syracuse.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, that's correct.

[Keith Robinson]

Originally. Syracuse. They don't even have trains, I don't think.

[Naim Ali]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, but Keith only, like, weeps when. When a hooker steals things from him or sometimes. Haven't you gotten robbed by hookers? That's the only time I think he's cried. Yeah, there's no way to keep cried about that.

[Drew Montana]

We've all been robbed by hookers, Rachel. How about you stop being so judgmental?

[Rachel Feinstein]

And by the way, you're not crying about the robbery. You're crying about the betrayal. You told her so much for that money. You were like, I told her about my fears and my concerns about my motherhood.

[Drew Montana]

I Paid her to love me. Now, this bitch stole from me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But you loved me. I was gonna kiss her.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, people from Syracuse are notoriously pussies as well. That's another thing.

[Keith Robinson]

I wouldn't cry over a sandwich. That's insane.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You would say that.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute.

[Keith Robinson]

I guess. Yeah, I would.

[Naim Ali]

I believe it is him.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm starting to believe it is too, because he quivered a little bit. He was shaking his old boots.

[Naim Ali]

Because his accident, he tried to act like.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that was like a monologue that kind of had a monologue. So I would never stonk. And you have one. And he has one hand behind his back, which is a shifty way to say that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Could be a tell. You're not wrong about that.

[Drew Montana]

There are tells here.

[Keith Robinson]

Where are they supposed to be?

[Drew Montana]

Oh, inside of Keith. He can't feel.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a second. Now even my tits are confused.

[Naim Ali]

I'm not paralyzed. I had a stroke, man.

[Drew Montana]

What the. Oh. I've been figuring Keith this whole time.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And he could feel it. Wait a second.

[Big J Okerson]

I want you guys to know, not as an audience, not to ever feel sorry for Keith. He's a toxic person. He's a very bad person.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah. God did this to him.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. God and Jesus had a long conversation, and they were like, he absolutely deserves this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

There was a lot of conversations outside the hospital. It was like, yeah, know he had this one coming.

[Big J Okerson]

He also got his stroke when he was inside of a woman. Like, he. And he did, like, four more pumps after that. Like, he's not good.

[Keith Robinson]

He's not good involuntarily. Four more pumps.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Drew Montana]

Keith is currently still an asshole.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. His first sentence after he came back from the stroke, he was like, eh. God damn it, Bobby Kelly. Fat fuck.

[Keith Robinson]

I met Keith 30 minutes ago in the green room, and the first thing he said to me was, ah, I could tell you ain't make it yet.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith. Jesus Christ.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith is that guy in behind the Music that, like, tells Beyonce she's never gonna be anybody. That's Keith. He's a terrible, terrible person. Don't forget, you told me I dress like I shop at Suburban Outfitters, and it still hurts my feelings.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I know I'm going too obvious on this, but I'm saying, Rachel, very often.

[Drew Montana]

When Jay puts the first vote out, it is Jay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I will say very often. What are the stats on that?

[Keith Robinson]

I watched two episodes earlier, and it happens often, dude. And I thought it was you already. I'm going, Jay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, you're giving somebody points. Giving somebody points.

[Drew Montana]

Cry. I mean, I Can see you crying. Not because. Not because of the sandwich. Just because. You'd be just in anger when you can't hit a woman.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Frustration.

[Drew Montana]

The only thing you can do is cry when you can't hit a woman.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's true. And she did drop my sandwich in this particular story.

[Naim Ali]

When he beat her. And then.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, yeah. I gave her. I go hold my sandwich. Then I hit her. Then she dropped it. Now, I know what you're thinking. Cart before the horse. But I still cried.

[Drew Montana]

I think it's Rachel or Jay.

[Naim Ali]

Could you write. Write Jay now for me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Come on. No. You guys are giving so much. Is this Lewis? This might be Lewis.

[Drew Montana]

You think I'd cry over a sandwich?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I do. You think I cry over sandwich?

[Drew Montana]

Well, you're a pussy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're a pussy who loves sandwiches and you love crying.

[Drew Montana]

I do get emotional sometimes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You love getting your emotions out. You like purging, you guys.

[Big J Okerson]

But there's been a strange turn of events. Excuse me. I'm a bit of an Agatha Christie myself. Look what Keith's written. Maybe it's this I love cough too much.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, my God. Maybe it is that.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe it did happen. The drawing room, you guys.

[Drew Montana]

We.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith was sucking off the butler.

[Keith Robinson]

It was right in front of our eyes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith, you can write so good. You. You put the bottom of your exclamation point. It's a little hard. You're still putting flair on your words. You're so good at writing.

[Big J Okerson]

And he wrote that with his Marshall's cane. You guys. It's so inspiring.

[Drew Montana]

J, is this you?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No. I can't believe you guys thought it was.

[Drew Montana]

Who do you really think it is?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Rachel. I put.

[Drew Montana]

I think it could be Rachel, too. A woman would cry over a sandwich. I'm going to put Rachel. Even though my instincts said, jay, if.

[Naim Ali]

This is fucking Lou, O.J.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You'Re all up.

[Naim Ali]

I knowing that is you. I seen you cry before.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You have seen me cry before? I think.

[Big J Okerson]

Really? What were you crying about?

[Rachel Feinstein]

You cry over a girl?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Then he saw me come home and cry because everybody. One girl posted a naked picture of me on.

[Drew Montana]

Did you cry over that?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, not until they all. Till I found out everyone I know had the picture, but Jay was also.

[Drew Montana]

It wasn't just a naked picture. Jay was doing a thing where he was holding the door frame and trying to stretch out his stomach so he wasn't as fat.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It keeps the roll straight. You'd learn that if you subscribe to Fat Monthly.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, what? Can you tell me a little bit about the picture?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, my wiener was as little as possible. I was butt naked in a Las Vegas hotel room, my arms up like this, and it wasn't good. And she put. We actually got the text recently. She wrote. I always. I always remember that she wrote from my perspective, where she was like, hey, I'm gay and I'm in the guys. And here's my TV credits at the time. Which she did give my TV credits, but she didn't write that I found it recently. She wrote. She wrote, I recently lost £300 by dumping comedian Big J Okerson. Then she goes, not bad.

[Big J Okerson]

I like her.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Then she gives all my TV credits, which weren't much at the time, like.

[Big J Okerson]

Stars Network and your balls. That's hilarious.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's funnier than that. It was like movies on tap on late night Spike tv and Pete Diddy's Bad Boys, a comedy. And then she goes, and recently, he recently told me that he loves it up the ass, so call him.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, my God. She told your truth.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, she spoke my truth. Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, let's go to a caller because she is on the lines right now.

[Drew Montana]

All of our stories are in.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Someone got a lot of points just now. It's Lewis. It's Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, somebody did get a lot of points. Drew Montana. It was Drew Montana.

[Drew Montana]

Drew Montana get all the points.

[Keith Robinson]

I was made for this show, dude. I'm a conniving son of a.

[Drew Montana]

Drew, what happened here? Who was this ex and where was this sandwich? Where was the shirt? What type of sandwich was it?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Drew wrote this story knowing he convince you all that it was me who cried over a sandwich. He based this off nothing more than I can convince everybody that fat J cried over a sandwich.

[Keith Robinson]

And you probably have J.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I can't say for sure that I have no.

[Keith Robinson]

Puerto Rican ex girlfriend. Dude, sometimes when you get one of those, you'll just do anything to make them happy. That ruined our day. I. I'd lost my ID the day before, and she told me we were going to some bar, and I was like, I'm not going to be able to get in. She was like, I know a guy there. And then we went and I couldn't get in. And I was, like, cold. And then I. Like, the only thing that was saving that day for me is I got a nice cheesesteak. And I was like, I'm gonna eat this on the train home. And then I had to, like, answer a phone call. And I was like, can you hold this for a second? And she cartoonishly dropped it onto the train tracks. And I Watched the subway pull up and just run over my cheesesteak. And I started off.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Your subway?

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah, the septic.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It doesn't even work.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah. And I started yelling at her, and everyone was like, you're being crazy. And I was like, I'm gonna kill her. What are you talking about? You guys are being crazy. This is nuts.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's a killable offense.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah, it's nuts.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute.

[Keith Robinson]

I cried, too.

[Naim Ali]

So this happened in Philly?

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Naim Ali]

You only been in Philly for two years.

[Drew Montana]

You cried. You cried in the past two years over a sandwich?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

I just realized.

[Drew Montana]

Girl stuff, dude.

[Keith Robinson]

Girl stuff.

[Naim Ali]

What the.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He cried recently over a cheese steak. I don't know why. That does make it funnier.

[Drew Montana]

If you were, like, 17, I would understand just being, like. Just being broke, overcome with emotion, you know?

[Keith Robinson]

I was 28 years old.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I didn't think, well, cry no more, Drew, because let's look at these scores. That is a housing.

[Drew Montana]

Wow.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He killed it on the scoreboard. Drew Montana with four points.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Come on. Oh, yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Hell yeah, Drew.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, Keith threw my sandwich out the window, too.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You didn't cry. Everyone had a good laugh.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, fuck you, Jay. It was an emotional moment for me.

[Drew Montana]

That's the best thing. Like, that's. Your guys generation was like, you'd have a slice of pizza or sandwich, and you'd be like, oh, let me see you throw it across the street. It's great. I did that. My. My generation or the generation below me, they don't do. Ian Finance had a slice of pizza once. I was like, oh, Ian, let me get a bite. And I took it. I just threw it in the street. And everybody around me was like, you're a piece of shit. I was like, what? That's what they taught me. It's tough love.

[Keith Robinson]

It's a cry.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Old Keith. You remember at my brokest, I got a pack of M and Ms. At a deli on our way home. And Kevin Hart slapped them out of my hands right when I opened them. And I'm fat, so I opened them straight across the top. And the sound of M and Ms. Rattling to stillness on the floor. And then he threw $2 on the ground. And I had to. I had to grab my knees and my pants and pull them up so I can bend down.

[Big J Okerson]

And by the way, delight in his eyes, like, just the cackling of the devil.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I also fatly took the $2 and repurchased MMs.

[Keith Robinson]

A pack of M and Ms. Kind of looks like Kevin Hart if you think about It.

[Drew Montana]

I had a tin of altoids, but also 12 Adderall in it. And I opened it up to get an Adderall and Arish Fear comes over to me and just smacks it out of my hands. And all the Adderalls scattered into the street and I couldn't find them.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wow.

[Rachel Feinstein]

God, what a better time.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith was in. We were in. In some. Doing some road gig with. With Kevin. With Kevin Hart. Keith goes, hey, dummy, you want a sandwich, don't you? You want to smack your lips and have a nice fat sandwich, don't you, Kev? And then they stop and they get him a sandwich with Subway. And Keith goes, what do you think you're gonna put on it? You're thinking about, yeah, I think you should put some salt on. Kevin was innocent. He didn't know he was dealing with a fucking sick Satan himself. Just this old, old monster.

[Naim Ali]

Never been innocent.

[Big J Okerson]

Took it right out of his hands, hurled it on the highway. Then I was reading a book, and you, Rachel, reading bugs me.

[Drew Montana]

It bugs me.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like it. And he just threw my book out the window onto the highway. And I was like, I didn't realize people existed like this. Like, I was like, I never thought men were like this. I didn't think they were so evil. And you were like, yeah, get used to it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

An open window solves a lot of problems.

[Drew Montana]

All right, Jay, let's take a quick moment and tell our Story wars listeners about Lucy, which is 100% pure nicotine, always tobacco free breakers. These are the little pouches you put in your mouth, but they're a little bit different because you get an extra surprise. Each pouch holds a little capsule of liquid that can be broken to release extra flavor and hydration for your mouth.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They do have amazing flavors. I wasn't a big pouch guy, but these things have gotten me through long, long flights and stuff. And I do enjoy that little breakers idea, you know, of course.

[Drew Montana]

And honestly, I mean, they're. They're more popular than ever, these pouches. Why not get it from a place that's actually supporting great comedy, a great product, Very different than the other pouches that are out there. Go check out Lucy and check out their incredible line of products and flavors. They got mint, mango, berry, citrus, apple cider, apple ice, and espresso. And espresso in the morning just sounds nice to me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I like the apple ice.

[Drew Montana]

So right now go to Lucy Co Wars W A R Z and use the promo code Wars Warz to get 20% off your first order. Today they also have a 30 day refund policy if you decide to change your mind. You're not going to, but if you do, they got you covered. Talk about. Talk about believing in your product.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's right, everybody. Lucy Co Wars. Code wars for that 20% off. And of course, the fine print. Lucy. Products are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Drew Montana]

All right, let's get back into it. Alex. Let's go to story number two.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number two. If I'm driving and someone doesn't use their blinker when turning in front of me, I will blast my horn and sometimes follow them.

[Drew Montana]

That is Big J. Every day.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Also, this is Louis. This is me or Louis. It's I. It's not me. So I think it's definitely you.

[Drew Montana]

It's not me. It's. I'm 100 positive. It's a big J. So I've heard Big J. He follows people. This is a real thing that he does.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Did it recently. Wait a minute.

[Naim Ali]

Which one was blinker?

[Big J Okerson]

Keith doesn't know how to use a comma. It's not Keith.

[Keith Robinson]

You can't drive either. It's definitely not him driving.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And someone's use their blinker when turning in front.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, look at him rereading it. You piece of.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Buddy. It's. This is too basic.

[Keith Robinson]

I think it's Jay. It could also be Rachel, though.

[Naim Ali]

No, no, no.

[Keith Robinson]

Girls have road rage.

[Drew Montana]

No. Girls aren't following.

[Naim Ali]

Cannot drive.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No. But neither can Lewis. Neither can Lewis. But those type of people also believe in the moment that it's everyone else's fault.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, and Keith can't blink, so it's not him.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He can blink. You don't lose blinking.

[Big J Okerson]

I love that he defended himself. That was the saddest sentence ever.

[Drew Montana]

I can't do.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't blink. I can't.

[Keith Robinson]

I can't blink him.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm gonna make up. I'm gonna make up stroke things. Well, Keith hasn't felt his own nipple in three years. I can feel my nipples fine.

[Keith Robinson]

He actually lost his nipples the day of the stroke. They fell off.

[Naim Ali]

I can touch my nipples too.

[Big J Okerson]

After the stroke, you guys, he can have an erection, but he can have a semi. So just be careful because he gets bricked up any moment. You never know when it's going to happen. But it's only halfway.

[Naim Ali]

Enough of these stroke jokes.

[Big J Okerson]

Easy, baby, easy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We take your things out. You're.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, I think. I mean, look, I just know Big J gets angry and follows people in the streets.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I do.

[Keith Robinson]

It does sound like it's not for.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Not using their blinker.

[Keith Robinson]

I don't know why I think it's Rachel, but it does sound like I live in Jersey.

[Drew Montana]

People use blinkers in Jersey. New York City is. That's a New York City thing.

[Keith Robinson]

That sounds like something somebody would say to defend it, though.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, this could be Louis. It could be me. So I know it could be Louis, but I don't know if this is Louis.

[Naim Ali]

That's one of the lowest. That filthy Puerto Rican.

[Drew Montana]

Come on.

[Keith Robinson]

All right, I'm with Keith.

[Drew Montana]

I thought we were keeping it not racial. They were keeping it not racial.

[Rachel Feinstein]

On today's show, dare I again say this could be.

[Big J Okerson]

Rachel Lewis is going by Scottish for this podcast.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Rachel, you will follow someone and give them the finger when you catch in person. Or are you not God?

[Keith Robinson]

No, I think it's her. Dude.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just a little hole. I wouldn't do something like that.

[Keith Robinson]

She's an angry lady at heart. I could see it is.

[Naim Ali]

Absolutely Lois.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

See, Jay wants to be liked too much to do that, you know?

[Drew Montana]

Listen, Rachel, Jay follows people regularly in acts of road rage. He's talked about it a hundred times, me, for years.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'll throw change out the window at somebody.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, you do.

[Drew Montana]

You would. I tried to throw a battery at a car recently.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought Jay was more of, like, a lifelong, like, liar. Like a deep, deceiving.

[Drew Montana]

No, that's also true.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But today's about anger.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks, Poppy. Can you explain some more stuff to me, Poppy?

[Drew Montana]

I mean, could it be Rachel? I couldn't imagine. No way.

[Naim Ali]

Following Rachel does not drive.

[Keith Robinson]

But it says sometimes follow them. And in girl stuff, that means, like, I followed them once.

[Big J Okerson]

I told you.

[Keith Robinson]

That means she usually honks her horn, and then she's like, I tried to follow a guy for a block, and then he went a different way, and I had to go home. That's what this means to me. It's either Rachel or Jay.

[Drew Montana]

I don't think.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm starting to think it's key.

[Drew Montana]

But what if it's Drew again? He's crushing this.

[Big J Okerson]

Drew delivers drugs on a bicycle or something. He doesn't drive.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He drives.

[Big J Okerson]

He drops off bags of heroin on a bike.

[Rachel Feinstein]

The guy cried over a sandwich a year ago.

[Keith Robinson]

Imagine what I'd do for a car.

[Rachel Feinstein]

For somebody not putting their blinker on. I'm gonna. Oh, Rachel doesn't drive. I'm gonna go, Keith, you don't drive.

[Big J Okerson]

I Do drive. Keith is trying to throw everybody off.

[Drew Montana]

I think, by the way, maybe. I think it's Jay, because why would you throw it to Keith, who obviously doesn't drive or follow people?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Because Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith drives you guys, this is an active disaster. And by the way, I'm not lying either. We can all. This should be an intervention to make him stop this show.

[Naim Ali]

He is a you.

[Big J Okerson]

Somebody. Just get.

[Drew Montana]

It's Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

Just get Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith does drive.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I know it's Keith and Keith. The story has to end because of his current state of health. He could blast his horn and follow them, but that's it. A younger Keith would follow him, get out, yell some shit, talk some shit. I know Keith. But now he just follows them.

[Naim Ali]

It's Lois.

[Drew Montana]

I still think it's Big J.

[Naim Ali]

Lo Wiz. Keith, is this you?

[Keith Robinson]

It's Keith.

[Drew Montana]

It might be Keith.

[Keith Robinson]

It's Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It could be Lewis. I think it's. Oh, this is Lewis. Dude, this story is whack.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel, you're a fool. Don't take your hand away. Oh, you're an idiot.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Too late.

[Drew Montana]

It's too late. Yeah, once your hands away. That's your last answer.

[Keith Robinson]

Can I phone a friend? Stop. Who do you think it is?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Rachel, you have to write for Keith. He's pointing it to you.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, all right, Just. Somebody roll him off the stage for a second. I need a break.

[Naim Ali]

Love it.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys, we should make this at least. We should try to raise money for Keith to stay at Howard Johnson's tonight or something. He shouldn't be driving. He should be off the roads.

[Drew Montana]

You're a fool. You're a fool, dude.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, you are. I'm happy you're.

[Drew Montana]

And I mean this, you're. You're following Big J's horseshit. It's crazy.

[Keith Robinson]

He didn't vote for you. You don't know what you're talking about. You can't.

[Naim Ali]

I never trust laws.

[Rachel Feinstein]

As you shouldn't and you shouldn't. Your instincts are correct, Keith. Ooh. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

What? What is it, baby?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Is he whispering all this to you?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he is. No, he communicates through clicks. You guys. He's making clicking sounds all.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, you understand. Swahili. Thank God.

[Naim Ali]

What the.

[Keith Robinson]

Thank God we have a Swahili translator on stage.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. All right. What was the last part, babe? Okay, this is what this is, Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I never like Ricans, but I do like blowing guys. All right, that's not necessarily an answer, but okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith, tell me an answer.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Come on.

[Naim Ali]

I told you, I can't hear You.

[Big J Okerson]

You dumb bitch.

[Naim Ali]

Tell me, Lois.

[Drew Montana]

You guys are idiots. This is Big J, and he's fooling all of you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Lewis is trying to make you the last. Now I'm bummed because I went with.

[Drew Montana]

You're an idiot. You're an idiot.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's Louis.

[Naim Ali]

No.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm on fire.

[Drew Montana]

Alex. Yeah, all of our answers are in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That story belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Drew Montana]

And I would have fooled you, too, if it wasn't for you and your dumb dog.

[Keith Robinson]

Don't call black people dogs.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's crazy.

[Keith Robinson]

The hell are you doing? Lewis did it.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, that's.

[Big J Okerson]

I want to dedicate this round to female leaders in show business.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Nice.

[Drew Montana]

I will tell you right now, in New Jersey, nobody uses their blinker. And it makes me violently angry. Oh, it drives me angry every time they don't put there. I'm like, put your blinker on.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You crashed into 11 cars in the two years you've been driving.

[Drew Montana]

If they put their blinker on, maybe I wouldn't crash into them.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Touche, dude.

[Drew Montana]

It makes me so angry. And then once in a while, I'll be like, you know what? I gotta pull up next to this guy. And then I chase them, and then I tell them to roll out the window. I was like, use your blinker.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You give him real advice.

[Drew Montana]

I. Dude, I. Yeah, I. I pointed.

[Rachel Feinstein]

The handbook says you have to put your blinker on if you're changing lines.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

If you get left is over passing.

[Keith Robinson]

And if you can spend more time with your kids, do it. Life is short.

[Drew Montana]

They think I'm asking them for Great Poupon, but I'm yelling at them about their blinker. God damn it.

[Keith Robinson]

Podcast. You don't need five podcasts. You got a point for me?

[Drew Montana]

I can't believe you talked yourself out of it again. Big J regularly does this.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I knew it was Louis. I know what he does. He it. You scream. You curse him out, and then you go, will you pretend you love me like my daddy?

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's what he says. He goes, roll your window down. I'm lacking the affection of an adult figure.

[Big J Okerson]

I lash out because I never felt seen.

[Keith Robinson]

If I played catch in the backyard, I wouldn't be doing this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Will you pay for my wedding?

[Drew Montana]

Alex, where our fucking points at? Oh, I'm pissed. Now I'm angry. This could be on my next story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right. Hanging out with zero points. Big J Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Hanging out is great. I love that.

[Naim Ali]

I got some points, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes. Next up with one point, Louis J. Gomez.

[Drew Montana]

Thank you, guys. Thank you, guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tied with Two points each. Rachel Feinstein and Keith Robinson. And in the lead with six points.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wow.

[Naim Ali]

Wow.

[Keith Robinson]

Big fan of the show. I studied.

[Drew Montana]

He really did. He told me he watched two episodes last night and was looking for our tells.

[Keith Robinson]

He was rewinding it and I. I rewinded five times. And that's how I found out it was you on the last time, dude. I studied your ass, brother.

[Drew Montana]

You piece of.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm the fucking snakeologist rattlesnake ologist.

[Drew Montana]

Drew came prepared. Alex. Story number three.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number three. A guy once threw snacks at me on stage because he was angry.

[Drew Montana]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A guy once threw snacks at me on stage because he was angry that I wasn't making him laugh.

[Keith Robinson]

Rachel.

[Naim Ali]

Rachel. Absolutely Rachel. She used the word snacks.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What does that mean? I mean, I've had chicken wings thrown at me before. I have had chicken wings thrown at me before.

[Naim Ali]

But Jay would never use snacks.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I swear. You.

[Big J Okerson]

And you had a wing thrown at you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Chicken wings. A bunch of them.

[Big J Okerson]

He corrected me, sweet cheeks. That was so unnecessary. I said a chicken wing.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I found out recently that I'm big on micro corrections. That's what it's called also. I'm correcting you again. Chicken wings and sweet cheeks. They all threw chicken wings at.

[Naim Ali]

Well, I had a lot of shit thrown at me at Caroline's Hot 97 show. They were one. They ran across the street and got chicken wings. They hold them on stage and then they threw shit at me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They left the building, purchased food and came back. Throw it at you.

[Big J Okerson]

They ran an Aaron. That's how hateable.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What's funny was Caroline's. Caroline's head. Chicken wings. I guess they weren't dense enough or something. They were. These aren't good throwing wings.

[Keith Robinson]

I need Ivy drumsticks to hit Keith and the head.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, I remember I was. I used to do warm up for a show called Crowd Goes Wild on Fox as Katie was on that show, Regis Philbin. And I was bombing so bad that I just started throwing out candy to the crowd. So it's like the reverse story of this. I was trying to buy laughs with candy. It was brutal.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I do feel like I'm most likely to have the crowd think that if I was doing bad that snacks would help me.

[Drew Montana]

It would shut you up. Yeah. Or you think.

[Keith Robinson]

This isn't written like Jay, though.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's not.

[Keith Robinson]

This isn't a J story.

[Big J Okerson]

This is when Keith was warming up for the Jeffersons. He used to.

[Naim Ali]

It's Rachel. It's that Rachel?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a mother.

[Drew Montana]

I think this might be Rachel. Rachel, is this you?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, or maybe it's not. Rachel's trying to make me horny, you guys.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He'd look over just sucking her own titties or something. I don't know. Is it mine?

[Naim Ali]

Maybe it's absolutely Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm just gonna go. Keith. Keith knows her.

[Keith Robinson]

I think it's Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You think it's Keith?

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Naim Ali]

Snacks. I'm never going to use snacks.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Why not?

[Drew Montana]

You don't eat snacks. What? The word snacks is making Keith so angry that I don't think it's Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he.

[Drew Montana]

When. As soon as he saw the word snack, I just saw his face go.

[Keith Robinson]

Oh, I never eat a snack.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And I know Keith and Rachel have intimate friendship that makes them irate with each other over nothing. And for that reason, I believe snacks is something that has come up in their relationship before, and they have argued about this conversation before. And I'm gonna go with Keith's recommendation. Rachel.

[Naim Ali]

Rachel.

[Drew Montana]

I'm also going Rachel on this one.

[Big J Okerson]

What really hurts about this is that as soon as they said snacks, everyone was like, rachel, Rachel, that little pig is feeding again. Why is everybody so short?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Not only is that not true, did everyone on this panel think it was me? The entire crowd also still actively thinks it's me because they pointed out the snacks were thrown at me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Rachel, did you vote already, or is that your card from last round?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that's Rachel.

[Naim Ali]

Okay, get it together.

[Keith Robinson]

I think this is. It might be Rachel just because she says a guy, and that's girls again. But Alex could have changed that. I don't know.

[Drew Montana]

No, she would have changed it to a guy. But, I mean, if it was, it could be anybody, to be honest with you, everyone's had shit thrown at them on stage. If you had shit thrown at you on stage. Yeah, what they throw at you.

[Keith Robinson]

Chicken tender. One time, I ducked that bitch like George Bush with the slipper. That shit was crazy. I said, whoa, that shit hit the back wall. I said, joke goes on.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I couldn't dodge my chicken. There was. They were coming at me like machine gun fire. Because they serve chicken at this place.

[Drew Montana]

Jay was like.

[Big J Okerson]

It was like a bubble machine, but chicken just shooting out of it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I. Every one of them hit my clothes and my. And my crispy white sneakers.

[Drew Montana]

And I wouldn't call chicken snacks, though.

[Big J Okerson]

But did it break your chain wallet?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No chain wallet yet, but it definitely. It definitely made me have to get my FUBU jersey dry cleaned.

[Drew Montana]

How do you define Snacks. I'm imagining like candy or.

[Keith Robinson]

I have snacks or anything. I. I ate cold venison last night. Snack?

[Naim Ali]

No, man.

[Keith Robinson]

Right out the fridge. 2am Hungry. Cold venison. Just grab the whole steak and start eating that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Where was the venison from originally?

[Keith Robinson]

A guy that killed it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Talking about.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, he said guy. Okay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, Mr. Guy.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, Mr. Guy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Me.

[Keith Robinson]

I dare you. I'm about to get pulled points on this. Go ahead.

[Drew Montana]

I'm going Rachel Feinstein. That's my instinct, Joe.

[Naim Ali]

Absolutely.

[Keith Robinson]

It's Keith. It's Keith. I'm telling you. Yes.

[Naim Ali]

What?

[Drew Montana]

Why would you tell us after we put our answers in?

[Naim Ali]

You spell my name right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's E. It's. It's ei. Ei.

[Keith Robinson]

No way. It is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is.

[Drew Montana]

You spelled. You spelled Keith wrong.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, you try to do the I before E, but it doesn't work with names.

[Keith Robinson]

E before I. Now I'm going Rachel. You guys.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, it's E before I. If it's a black guy, it's Rachel.

[Naim Ali]

Yo, don't laugh at that, man.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We're all surprised.

[Big J Okerson]

Keep talking, baby. Okay, baby.

[Keith Robinson]

Keep going.

[Drew Montana]

Okay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keep going, baby. That's weird.

[Big J Okerson]

Weird. It's. I guess he's working through some stuff. He did say Rachel, but he also said I sometimes weep because I'm not Sinbad. Oh, I didn't think you would cry about that.

[Naim Ali]

That's a double stroke joke.

[Drew Montana]

Changing it again.

[Keith Robinson]

Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, what made you Rachel?

[Drew Montana]

Who are you voting for?

[Keith Robinson]

Because I'm already so up ahead that if I just tie with you guys, I'm good. So I hope it's Keith. Who gives a first place?

[Big J Okerson]

You guys, Drew is raising money for bikes.

[Drew Montana]

It's Rachel.

[Keith Robinson]

It's Rachel. That's a dumb Rachel.

[Drew Montana]

She just threw a random name out at the end.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Everybody's answer, Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That story belongs to Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

I knew it.

[Big J Okerson]

You watch your goddamn mouth.

[Naim Ali]

Snacks. No man uses snacks.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You would say. You would say the actual item that was thrown.

[Drew Montana]

That's true.

[Rachel Feinstein]

If I want to do a tomahawk steak of me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. The reason I. I didn't is because I've talked about it on stage. I didn't want to give it away, but I have had a soft taco thrown in my tit before.

[Rachel Feinstein]

In your tit?

[Keith Robinson]

A soft and stay together.

[Big J Okerson]

It did. No. And there was a sadness to the way a taco falls off tittage. Like I'd almost rather a harder object cuz it was just so anticlimactic. There's this dumb taco rolling off me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Like Opens on your tit and then just everything falls out of.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Drew Montana]

Where was his?

[Big J Okerson]

He just sort of smeared across my cans and it was very sad. Can we play some soft piano music for this part, guys?

[Keith Robinson]

Just a flying taco and an uncooked pizza are the same thing if you think about it.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel, where was this at?

[Big J Okerson]

This is the kind of poetry he tries to get laid with when he's dropping off drugs to chicks in Brooklyn.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Goddamn right. It works 70% of the time, all the time.

[Big J Okerson]

He's like, do you have a guitar by any chance? I have some poems.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Hey, you guys got anything I can shred on here?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry, what was your question?

[Drew Montana]

Where was this at?

[Big J Okerson]

This was at the Culinary Institute of Las Vegas. I'm not bragging, but you were doing.

[Drew Montana]

A show at the Culinary.

[Big J Okerson]

I made it in show business.

[Drew Montana]

So everyone had snacks.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was actually these days, culinary school.

[Keith Robinson]

She was like, I was on Hell's Kitchen doing comedy.

[Big J Okerson]

It was actually because I was in front of the Hot Pocket station there and I was kind of an impediment to the kids getting Hot Pockets and microwaving their food. So they were angrier at. I was more just like an obstacle to them being able to have their own snacks, which is why they use that to assault me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, they never learned that you don't need entertainment at every point of everything. How many times I performed in a hallway, it's like, what are people going to do when they're leaving this concert? Going to a bathroom? Shouldn't they want to stop and watch you do comedy in a hallway? That's true.

[Big J Okerson]

They literally. They make stages for us. Is there anything sadder than like some. Some 22 year old crafting a stage? It's not even a stage. It's like a tiny, sad square.

[Drew Montana]

Yes. Keith trying to brush his teeth.

[Naim Ali]

Don't lie.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith has the Rocky 4 rope bot for that. Happy birthday, Paulie.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys never. You guys never at any point feel sorry for Keith, okay? I want you to always remember how bad and toxic of a man he is. We were at. At the Comedy Cellar one night and he was just following me around saying, the Jews will not replace us. The Jews will not replace us. The Jews will not replace us.

[Drew Montana]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

He said bad guy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'll tell you this.

[Big J Okerson]

Remember that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know what? Let's give Keith is a bad guy stories. When I did Jimmy Fallon show, I came to the Comedy Cellar that night to watch. To watch it with everybody. I'm like, oh, this will be a wonderful moment. Everyone here Is rooting for me, right? Especially Keith, the man who took me out of Philadelphia and said, no, you could do this, and brought me up to New York and showed me everything. The show I was unaware goes till went from 11 or 1235 to 1 35. At 1 29. He goes, all right, we're gonna go to a commercial. We're gonna be right back. Which seemed like the show is over. And then for that entire. What do you call it? Three minute commercial break, Keith had the entire comedy seller going. Jay wasn't on the show. Jay wasn't on the show. Jay wasn't on the. And everyone just customers eating. It's a restaurant upstairs. It's not a comedy club. The whole room. Jay don't even go, what are we singing for? Oh, this guy wasn't on. Jay wasn't on the show.

[Keith Robinson]

Full crowd, like, who's Jay?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Until the guy. Until Jimmy found announced me. I was sitting there like, this is humiliating. He was pointing at me and having strangers come. He's a bad guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Toxic, toxic dick. And sometimes he'll say something that doesn't even make sense, but it'll haunt me. You know, it's just what he does is Keith tries to find the worst version of you. Like, he'll find somebody that looks like you. Like, if everything goes awry in your life, like if you hit every dead end and it'll hurt, it'll be so powerful. And then it'll scream out like, rachel. Rachel. So we were outside the comedy Cellar once, and there was just this, like, old frizzy haired lady sort of poking at some trash outside, and he was like, rachel, come over here. Come over here. Don't be upset about the trash now. It still fucking haunts me because I could kind of see it, you know, like, you'll find somebody that's like, homelish but has your hair type or something. So fucked up.

[Naim Ali]

Hold up. This is starting to sound like a funeral.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm going to say nice. I'm going to say nice. I'm going to say nice to him at your funeral. Also, when I was. When I was young and broke, Keith, I used to drive us to New York every day. And Keith, at the end of the night when we drop him off first, he would just leave all of his garbage in our car and laugh at us. So one night when he did that, we threw the trash out on his front lawn, laughed at him, and then drove away, at which time I got pulled over immediately and given a $400 ticket. Then later that week, we were Driving to New York, just me and Keith, and we were in a major traffic jam, and the car in front of us was a police car, and he turned his lights on, and everybody started getting out of their way. And we followed the police car and cut through all the traffic, which was fine, except for every car we passed, Keith was hanging out the window like a dog, going, aha. To the people who were stuck in traffic. And as soon as we got to the tunnel, they pulled us over, gave me a $700 ticket of which both I could not afford to pay, and eventually ended up spending one night in jail in New York City. City for not paying those tickets.

[Drew Montana]

Alex, where are our points?

[Big J Okerson]

Let's add one thing, please. Okay, So I took a. I took a boxing class with Keith and some other comics, and they had to put us in some kind of like. Like, padded down.

[Drew Montana]

This is crazy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Robinson.

[Big J Okerson]

This was before the first of, like, the triplet of strokes he had. It was like, before the first one. So we had to. We got basically put in some kind of, like, a. An extra padded room because Keith was harassing us so much and people were complaining about him. There was some anorexic girl that used to run on the treadmill, and Keith would be like, hey, damn, that skinny bitch. Never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. He goes, stop shaving your ass off, bitch. And then. And then they would just put us, like, in a special room. And then Keith would, when he was working out, pretend to jerk off and then hurl come at me. You'd just be like, hey, Rachel, would you like this? Share it with your family. This is why he lost his hand, because this is what he was doing with it. And he would just hurl imaginary cum at me. And then just kind of like. And then they put him in, like, a special padded room after.

[Naim Ali]

No, no, no. What would you do?

[Big J Okerson]

I would pretend to catch it and, like, lap it up like I've been waiting for it. I'd be like, oh, thank you. That was all before I was a mom.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith, remember, you got arrested and Rachel came to bail you out with Sacagawea fucking coins. Oh, it's been a long career. Do we have our scores?

[Louis J. Gomez]

We do. Tied for last place with two points each. Big J and Rachel, keeping the Jews.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Down from the river to the sea.

[Naim Ali]

What do I got? How many points?

[Louis J. Gomez]

In third place, with three points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute.

[Drew Montana]

Thanks, guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In second place, with four points, Keith Ross Robinson.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And in first place, with eight points, Drew Montana.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm about to Read this weekend.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't think that couple's enjoying it yet. Yeah, good. Yeah, he's loving it. He's loving it.

[Drew Montana]

All right, let's take a quick moment to thank Mando for supporting today's show. We love Mando's whole body deodorant. It really is great. If you're a Story wars fan, gas digital fan in general, you're probably a smelly piece of shit. And Mando has you, definitely.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Fat fuck.

[Drew Montana]

You have a lot of pockets and crevices in your body that probably just fester with stink.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And if you don't, your fucking sister does.

[Drew Montana]

Look, Mando has you covered, literally and figuratively. This is total body deodorant. Not just for your armpits, but any of those little crevices and pits on your body. Whether it's your package, your grundle, your butt crack, your feet, you can use it literally anywhere. I love their amazing scents. The bourbon leather is literally my favorite scent at all. I don't wear anything else. It's like wearing confidence in a scent jet.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Ooh la la. I like smelling like a strap. That's nice. Deals go right now to shopmando.com and new customers. This is an awesome deal. You get the Mando starter pack, which is perfect. It includes a solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, and two free products of your choice, like a mini body wash or our favorite, the deodorant wipes.

[Drew Montana]

Deodorant wipes. Get off a flight or out of a car ride for a long time. Just grab some deodorant wipes, wipe your balls down. Wipe your pits down. You're good, baby boy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wipe down your dick and then finish yourself off. You're already in the bathroom. Also, you get a special offer for our listeners. If you use the Code wars at checkout, you'll get $5 off that starter pack, which is over 40% off.

[Drew Montana]

What a deal. Go to shopmando.com, use that promo code wars with a Z and save that money today. Start smelling good. Start feeling good. Just be a better you, you piece of shit. All right, where were we? Alex, Story number four.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number four. I once got arrested for yelling obscenities at someone from a car window.

[Drew Montana]

Keith, Big J just told two of those stories.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith didn't get a arrested. I got arrested. But I wasn't yelling obscenities. Keith was.

[Drew Montana]

Big J's never been arrested for yelling obscenities. I would know this story for sure. I know most of your arrest Stories.

[Big J Okerson]

You wouldn't know that word. Obscenity. Like that's too fancy for him. Definitely. If this is Keith's home attendant told him to say that it's not his.

[Naim Ali]

I spend a lot of time in the church.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't.

[Naim Ali]

In this church, man. I don't.

[Drew Montana]

You don't yell up cities.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't think. Now, listen. You really shouldn't get arrested for that. And Keith's black, so that does say maybe Keith. This is a younger story for sure. Drew Montana. I've never Lewis this.

[Keith Robinson]

I'll be honest about this. Never been arrested in my whole life. One disorderly conduct for an eighth of weed. That was a.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute. It's Drew.

[Keith Robinson]

It's not me. Put me. I promise you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I think lying.

[Naim Ali]

Canavan.

[Drew Montana]

I promise you.

[Keith Robinson]

My stories are funny and good. This isn't me. This is Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, that was all. That was all typed up for him by his attorney before the show. That was in no way.

[Keith Robinson]

I don't know how to spell obscenities. That's insane.

[Drew Montana]

I will say Al. Alex. Question. Did you have to change the spelling of obscenities to get it right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm not supposed to answer questions.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that means yes. You guys.

[Keith Robinson]

Here's how I'll even more. I don't know what obscenities means. It's not me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Dirty words.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm put. I'll put Keith and vote first. I don't give a shit. It's Keith. You just told five of these stories.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's clearly you. He didn't tell any of them. We told him of him. Yeah.

[Keith Robinson]

All your friends think it's you. It's gotta be Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Arrested for this.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah. I mean, Jay, I would know if it's you. You would know if it's me. This is the truth.

[Keith Robinson]

That's my logic on all this. You guys would know if it's. If it's each other. Rachel just had a. I don't think it's her.

[Drew Montana]

Take. Take Keith's sign down.

[Naim Ali]

I've never been Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I came to get you from jail.

[Drew Montana]

It's ei, Drew.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Why is this mistake Keep happening K.

[Keith Robinson]

It's KF he'll be gone in a year.

[Naim Ali]

I'm a fighter after this show. Damn it, Drew. K I. I. I said it's J. Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

That lying sack of. It's K. Absolutely, Keith.

[Drew Montana]

It's K. 100%.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's KTH no doubt. Keith says it's me.

[Drew Montana]

I've never been more positive about a story on story wars.

[Naim Ali]

I'm going to have to fight Drew after the show.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm going to run away. What are you talking about? I will slowly walk away.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It'll be good, Jay.

[Drew Montana]

I can never get enough. Come.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wow. That's cool.

[Drew Montana]

All of our answers are Thomas.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's insatiable. All the answers are right. This is Keith. No effing doubt.

[Big J Okerson]

If it's Drew, I'm three hisses and two clicks means J.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's the. Yeah, it's a horse code.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Obscenities was spelled correctly.

[Drew Montana]

It was spelled correctly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And this story belongs to Keith Robinson.

[Drew Montana]

Yes.

[Naim Ali]

Ah, Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Is it. Is it a story I told of you yelling at the cars while we were driving by them? No.

[Naim Ali]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, this is the dumbest part. I was there. You.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I was gonna say, isn't it Rachel you were yelling at with you.

[Naim Ali]

You're not supposed to Rachel. That whore. This is real.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's a great story.

[Naim Ali]

She would not me. Her and Kat was dropping.

[Big J Okerson]

This was before you had Alzheimer's.

[Naim Ali]

Shut your fucking mouth. Shut your whore mouth.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Go on, shut it.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, okay.

[Naim Ali]

We asked Rachel. He shut up. Rachel. I asked Rachel, where you live at, Rachel. She said, just let me off at the store. I said, well, we'll just take you, and when you go from the store, we'll take you home.

[Big J Okerson]

Call having street smarts?

[Naim Ali]

No. She said, no, no. I just go to the store. So we let her go in the store. I told Kevin, cut the lights out and drive up a little bit. We gonna find out where this whore lives. So dumb Rachel comes skipping out. She didn't know we were driving up behind her, like, come here, white girl. We got something for you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Ah.

[Naim Ali]

Rachel starts running a little bit, and we're screaming, come on, white girl. And cops pull us over. They ask Kev for his license and registration. Dumb Kev goes, um. When a cop asks you for your shit, and you go, um, you don't have what they need.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith, where this story's going. I can't believe you're judging Kev's way of handling things. You are a maniac in this story also, Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

It's so much worse. You guys. Okay, so we're on the road. Keith starts pumping the brakes in the car and being like, hey, you know what, Kev? I feel like raping Rachel. I'm gonna rape Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was a different time. This is the early aughts. It's the early aughts. It's a different time. It's 2001.

[Big J Okerson]

Then he says, hey, you know what bugs me? It bugs me that Rachel's dad's a civil rights lawyer. We don't need his help. Tell your white dork daddy we don't need him. And then he says, I'm gonna assault Rachel, and I'm gonna have her dad defend me.

[Naim Ali]

I think I'm the hero in this story.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, I'm gonna call him up and I'm gonna say, Mr. Feinstein, this is the case that's gonna make you a star.

[Naim Ali]

No, we get locked up. I get pepper sprayed by the cops.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, just. You got locked up.

[Naim Ali]

No, Kev got locked up.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith and Kev got locked up.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They let Kev go, though.

[Naim Ali]

No, no, they let him go land.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith was struck. Keith was screaming at strangers.

[Naim Ali]

For the love of God, have a snack.

[Drew Montana]

No.

[Naim Ali]

So, yeah, I go and they take me to the hospital. Cause the cop is pepper spraying me. Cause they pull out pepper spray, and I'm still. I'm from South Philly. You know what I mean? I say, fuck pepper spray. I eat pepper spray.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I eat pepper spray. He said, confirmed by the cop.

[Big J Okerson]

That's also his bumble heading. Go ahead.

[Naim Ali]

So the emperor, like, eight cans of pepper spray in my eyes. I'm like, I don't eat pepper spray. I don't eat it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He screamed.

[Naim Ali]

So when I get back to the cell, Kevin's there. He has crumbs all over his sweater. I'm like, what happened? He said, a homeless guy wrestled me through the ground and took my potato chip. So. And you know what? The homeless guy ended up being Katt Williams.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Fun fact.

[Naim Ali]

Here's the thing, here's the key. Dumbass Rachel comes in, like, 10:30 in the morning with a cheeseburger. I'm hungry. He asked the guy on the front desk, can I get him the cheeseburger? He said, sure, go and give him the cheeseburger. This dummy comes over, I get the sandwich snack. Open up. Give me eating. She don't eat it yet. Looking around. This is Rachel, dumbass Rachel. Look. Look inside the burger. I'm like, what? Look inside the mirror. Open up the burger. There's a note. Now we gonna get you out. What the fuck, yo? You think this is Charles Shank Redemption.

[Rachel Feinstein]

By the way, Cut to her plan was later on that night, showing up with me with a sock full of Socatuille dollar coins.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was that night.

[Big J Okerson]

But I have to say, I'm JLo in this story. And you're P. Diddy. And I should have left you in jail. He should be rotting in jail right now.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She should have left you in jail that night.

[Big J Okerson]

And by the way, by the way, Buddy Bolton wrote the note that said, I'm gonna get you out of here. But I.

[Naim Ali]

You delivered the note.

[Big J Okerson]

You remember? Buddy wrote, okay. But he did decide that we should put it in a turkey club for Keith. But the reason you guys were pulled over was not. Was because Keith was screaming. There was these old ladies walking down the street, and they were talking to each other, and one of the old ladies was like, you know, sometimes I like to eat strawberry. And Keith goes, shh. Keep it down.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Shh.

[Big J Okerson]

Be quiet. He was shushing strangers.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Which is, by the way, it's just addictively hilarious.

[Big J Okerson]

It is always funny to just tell.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Strangers to shut the fuck up. Is so funny.

[Big J Okerson]

Always tell strangers to keep it down. We'll be outside on Bleecker street and some lady will be like, and then we got divorced. Like, shh. If you don't mind, just keep it down a little bit.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. But also, in fairness, what Keith's leaving out, as maybe a lot of black people tend to do. They thought his hairbrush was a gun. And then he didn't tell them that it wasn't, and it was a hairbrush. And then when they tried to grab his wrist to arrest him, Keith kept pulling his hand away and going, nope.

[Drew Montana]

He said, nope.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Until they pepper sprayed him with enough pepper spray that they wanted to put a man down. Who just told them he eats pepper spray.

[Naim Ali]

No.

[Drew Montana]

What?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Then they kicked you into yourself?

[Naim Ali]

They said that. They said that in the courtroom. And the judge asked him, believe that? No. Black guy who said, I had a rush wrapped in the newspaper like it was a shotgun. Why the would I do that?

[Big J Okerson]

It's true. The blacks aren't known for that.

[Naim Ali]

Y'all can laugh.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, guys. Ridiculous. He just said to me, alex, where.

[Drew Montana]

Are our points at now? This has been the craziest story we've ever had on story wars.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, on the scoreboard, I have a three way tie for last place between Big J, Rachel, and Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

Whoa.

[Naim Ali]

I get the last place. I'm. I'm quitting the show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In second place with five points.

[Naim Ali]

I want another black guy to take my place.

[Keith Robinson]

I got you, bro.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, my God. Drew's never glowed more in his life than that moment. He goes, this is it. This is my time.

[Keith Robinson]

Black guy replacement. I'm in.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know, this next guy is a black guy replacement, Drew Montana.

[Drew Montana]

And they have four points each.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They have four points each in Second place, with five points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Keith Robinson]

Ooh, congrats, Luis. That's half of what I got.

[Drew Montana]

I'm coming back. Don't worry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And in the lead with 10 points, Drew Montana.

[Drew Montana]

Bo.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Drew is so excited to have the. And by the way, I'm upset that we're possibly going to lose Dove in an iron cauldron. As their worlds collide amidst. Amidst the echoes of the country's rising tensions, May and Clement find themselves haunted by secrets, unexpected desires, and ghosts of the past. When looming threats of the asylum stalk May's every step, her gift becomes her only hope of escape and the key to saving Clement's life. In a city fraught with betrayal, illusion, and mounting danger, May must confront the true nature of her ability and decide whether it will liberate her or bind her in darkness forever.

[Keith Robinson]

What's. What's next, dude? What's next, dude? Double points. I get those, too. Dude, I'm not scared of you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You don't have to worry about anything. But before we get to the second half of the show, can I just.

[Big J Okerson]

Say, Jay, that was so beautiful. I didn't know you were a feminist. Thank you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Is it my nails? They're gels. We go around and do plugs now. Keith, what are you plugging, my man?

[Naim Ali]

One mom plugin.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Got a Netflix special out right now, rolling going on.

[Naim Ali]

Just looking around.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Too cool for school, everybody. Rachel, what are you plugging?

[Big J Okerson]

My Netflix special, Big Guy?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Hell, yeah.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Rachel. Rachel.

[Keith Robinson]

True Durag in the Deer Tag podcast with Gang Gang Me n Rob Cruz.

[Naim Ali]

I never heard of that podcast.

[Keith Robinson]

And you're not invited. No, we'll talk after this. So I would love to have you on Durag and the Deer Tag podcast and a digital Bazooka podcast. It's a live print call Pod Lewis is actually coming on this week.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We.

[Keith Robinson]

Yes.

[Drew Montana]

I'm excited.

[Keith Robinson]

You don't know that, but you're.

[Drew Montana]

I got pranked on it one time. They called me and they. They said they had. Who was it? Josh Potter called me, telling me that. That he was somebody from, like, the neighborhood society, that I needed to keep my bushes more taught at my house, and I just spiraled into being all lunatic. The nicest house in the neighborhood. Motherfucker.

[Keith Robinson]

Lewis freaked out so bad. Josh goes, this is for the neighborhood. Lewis goes, I am the neighborhood. I'm the neighborhood. He said, I am the neighborhood.

[Big J Okerson]

I am the neighborhood. That's amazing.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Keith Robinson]

The craziest thing I've ever heard.

[Big J Okerson]

Hashtag started. Everybody, please.

[Keith Robinson]

Digital Bazooka.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Louis J. Coma Is the neighborhood. I'm gonna call you the neighborhood. The Puerto Rican neighborhood.

[Keith Robinson]

Louis. The neighborhood.

[Big J Okerson]

Gomez.

[Drew Montana]

Big J, what are you plugging bigj.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Comedy.Com for all my dates. I'm all over the place. Look for a city near you. We're going to Nashville to do Story wars four nights in a row. Oh, it's already. It already happened. It was so great. Then I did. Then I did Moon Tower and that was great too. Well, then what? You're in a few weeks. What you're getting ready for is the release of the second half of my double Crowd work special. Them day this week. Everybody.

[Naim Ali]

Them.

[Rachel Feinstein]

In one month we got to a million views. So fucking thank you all for checking that out, man. That's huge.

[Big J Okerson]

Yay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Thank you. Suck on that, Netflix. Let's get the second one up there too, everybody. So them they is coming out 420, so fucking check that out. Go comment all that shit. Listen to the bonfire with me and Robert Kelly five days a week. Faction Talk, SiriusXM1, Oath 3.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And of course, the flagship show right here at Gas Digital, the legendary Legion of Skanks.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute. Big gang, can I say something? One thing. I don't like Drew's fanfare.

[Keith Robinson]

We out here, bro. What you want me to do? We out here, bro.

[Drew Montana]

Go to my website, LewisofSkanks.com grab tickets for the Bring 5 Friends tour. Come into a city near you. End of the month, I'll be in San Diego. I'm going to Europe with Scott Chaplin. We're going to be in Amsterdam, Glasgow, Dublin, Manchester and London at the end of May into the beginning of June. And my next special, I'm filming on July 12th in Tampa. Tickets are almost sold out. So get those tickets. It's going to be a goddamn blast. The great Robert Kelly is directing my next special and it's going to be a ton of fun. And yeah, make sure you guys sign up for a mailing list and all that other stuff, guys, just make sure. Also, the most important thing is that if you love this show, we have a bunch of episodes that are only available on [e-mail] we do the uncensored ad free free version of the show every Monday night. It comes out on Gas Digital.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You can be a part of the.

[Drew Montana]

Live chat and yeah, you don't have to wait for to go to YouTube or anywhere else. Gas digital.com use that promo code Wars W A R Z and you'll save a buck 50amonth on the premium membership.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Absolutely. Hell yeah. Now we come down to our final four stories, and Drew, you're probably feeling pretty good about yourself right now, and you probably think that Lewis and the rest of us should be dejected with our measly four and five points.

[Keith Robinson]

No, no, no, dude. I know the game and I know about dominate, y'all.

[Rachel Feinstein]

This game is far from over because for the final four stories, we go double points. Thank you. Roots. We have the roots here that we don't plan to be on camera room. So much more money. But black thought in the voice. Thank you so much. So as before, where if you. If we fooled somebody, it was one point, and if you guessed the correct story, it was two points. Now that goes to double points.

[Naim Ali]

Did it move one more time?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, double points. It's like the end of Breakfast club. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

[Drew Montana]

It's anybody's game, folks. This is the second half. This is going to be amazing. Alex, story number five.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number five. Once on a very loud morning while I was trying to sleep, I kicked a hole in the wall in pure anger. I've always said it was done by accident until this very moment.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And in real time. Confession.

[Drew Montana]

This. This sounds a little bit like Big J.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You say that about 100% of the stories, by the way.

[Drew Montana]

No, there's no food involved. There's no sandwiches involved. There's no snacks involved. This just seems like your big, goofy size 15 foot.

[Rachel Feinstein]

For the record, last time he did this and he tried to push to me immediately, it was fucking him.

[Naim Ali]

That is him.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What?

[Naim Ali]

It's low Lewis.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, Lewis. Right. Yes. I thought you're saying me it's Lewis you can push away right away.

[Naim Ali]

I'm not taking it back.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it might be Lewis, because you guys, like I've always said it was done by. Act as if like somebody's writing a story about his life.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, this is Lou said real.

[Big J Okerson]

She's too insecure to write it like that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Real irate anger at loud neighbors before.

[Drew Montana]

I have I rape anger.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, right, right, right.

[Keith Robinson]

He almost throws me off.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He was going to threaten to hurt a child who lived upstairs with him for being too loud.

[Drew Montana]

I know. I threatened to hurt their father.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's right. True.

[Naim Ali]

Jay's going too much now.

[Drew Montana]

Jay is going a lot. And I'm going to tell you right now, if you look at the way.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That it's written, he accused me immediately.

[Big J Okerson]

Until this very moment.

[Drew Montana]

Jay is cutting me off a lot here and he's getting nervous.

[Keith Robinson]

Has Jay had a story yet?

[Drew Montana]

Jay's not out of story yet. Which doesn't mean anything. It could all be random. But the. The real. I'm telling you right now. I've always said it was done by accident until this very moment. It's a very J way of writing something.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Why? It's hilarious.

[Keith Robinson]

No, cuz Lewis doesn't know commas. It's clearly you. Keith can't kick. And it. That's not girl stuff. And it's not me, so it's J for sure.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It might be J. I think it's Drew kick.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not. It's not Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Kick him in the ass, Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

It's. I tell you right now, it's not Keith because Keith's like too homophobic to write this very mom. Like you think that that phrase would make him gay?

[Drew Montana]

It's just. It's the way that Jay.

[Naim Ali]

I would never use that. You're right.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You'd be like, yeah, now only assisted bitch. When you. Yeah, no, you're too much of a homophobe.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It can't be Keith until this very moment is gay.

[Big J Okerson]

No. Keith would think that because he's ignorant.

[Drew Montana]

Jay's also. Jay's trying every trick in the book right now. He's throwing it on other people. He's for me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'll take the points.

[Drew Montana]

This is a tell that Jay does as well, where he goes, vote for me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And Louis does the same thing every time he starts barking at me. I will his story. It already happened tonight.

[Drew Montana]

Look, he's doing it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's doing the thing. He's doing the thing. He does. You're a fool.

[Drew Montana]

Once Big J starts pointing in my face a lot, it's also Big J. These are all massive. Big J tells.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't think it's Louis is the problem.

[Drew Montana]

I'll give up all my points if it's not Big J.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

I think J too. Because here's the thing.

[Rachel Feinstein]

All your points.

[Big J Okerson]

The fact that it was at this big incident. A hole in the hall.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Touch it first.

[Drew Montana]

Look, J's big giant act right now. His whole play. It's the Big J one man show right now.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Lewis is out of the game.

[Naim Ali]

Lois is dead.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Lewis just himself out of the game.

[Drew Montana]

He's trying to get everyone else spiraling.

[Keith Robinson]

He never wins.

[Drew Montana]

This also the worst at the game show.

[Keith Robinson]

He doesn't win. He's mad right now.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My record is 3 and 32.

[Keith Robinson]

Jay is ass.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's Jay.

[Drew Montana]

It's Jason.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Definitely it's Jay.

[Drew Montana]

Don't waste your vote. I'm telling you, I have a lot of respect for you. Do not vote for me. It's definitely big.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's Louis.

[Keith Robinson]

Vote Lewis. It's him.

[Big J Okerson]

I kind of. I kind of want to go because I feel like.

[Drew Montana]

No, you're trying to get him not to catch up right now.

[Keith Robinson]

I up. It's Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Wait, now can I change it? I feel like he always knows the right answer. Because you've been dealing drugs for so many years, you have to know if people are lying. I feel like.

[Keith Robinson]

Like he always knows apes for 25 after the show.

[Naim Ali]

Let me look.

[Drew Montana]

J. Jay. Jay is having a full fledged meltdown right now. And now, now he's playing it cool. Look, he's playing it cool.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Keith Robinson]

Hit your cigarette again. You not sleeping Angry kicker.

[Naim Ali]

I changed my mind.

[Drew Montana]

I'm telling you.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay.

[Drew Montana]

Yes. Right. What?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Look how cool I'm being.

[Big J Okerson]

The reason I don't think it's Lewis is because I feel like it's not. It shouldn't be this big incident that he kicked a hole in the wall and pure like. I feel like Lewis does that every morning. Way angrier stories before he brushes his.

[Keith Robinson]

Teeth full of holes. He hits him with like 12 piece punch combinations.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, he's like, I. I'm more of a wall puncher. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Like he lays out a homeless guy before he gets a breakfast sandwich. It's not a big story in his life.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, this is like him and Christine or his ex wife. They were being loud. He kicked a hole in the wall. And who would I have to lie to?

[Keith Robinson]

Lewis might have no more wall to kick. You know what I'm saying?

[Naim Ali]

I'm going.

[Drew Montana]

Louis, you're an idiot.

[Keith Robinson]

Keith, it's Lewis. Vote him.

[Drew Montana]

Put my name down.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But you're giving the only ones getting points.

[Drew Montana]

Write it down for him. Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Me and Keith are staying tied in second place.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, hurry up.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Right, white girl?

[Drew Montana]

Who are you writing down?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yo, Write that, you white bitch.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, Keith, you're voting for me.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, it's you.

[Drew Montana]

You're a fool. I'm telling you. Looking me in the eyes. You're fucking up by not voting. Jay, you're getting.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What does that mean? Look me. Look me in the eyes. You're making a fantastic decision.

[Drew Montana]

You would lie to Keith, who helped you out so much in comedy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

So much. You also got me $700 worth of tickets. And then I spent a night in jail.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith, blink. Keith blinked twice for Lewis.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're doing a great job.

[Big J Okerson]

Squeak of inspection. Squeak of inspection.

[Keith Robinson]

Blink twice for Lewis. Is crazy true.

[Drew Montana]

All right, do we have our.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Me and Keith are about to be up your ass. Drew, what is it? It's you, dog. You're.

[Drew Montana]

It's definitely Big J. Well, can we go to the. Can we go to the audience?

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah, it is, Louis.

[Drew Montana]

All right, what is. Everyone's answers are in. But what is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What does the audience think Keith wants to say, though? Something he's speaking through Rachel. Something about a fat cop. That makes me smile. Lewis?

[Drew Montana]

Yeah. What is the. What does the audience think? Do you think it's Big J? Clap your hands. Do you think it's me? Fools. Fools, all of you. Let's see.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That story belongs to Big J. Ok.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, what'd I tell you? My bad, Keith, you deceitful mother. He lied right to your face.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I looked you right in the eyes, completely emotionless.

[Naim Ali]

If I could walk out, I would.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We gotta get you a flume.

[Keith Robinson]

He needs one of those things in airports.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, just a hatch. Just where we can.

[Keith Robinson]

Fucking stationary escalators.

[Drew Montana]

The travelator. Jay?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, my ex wife and daughter. I would come home so late, and then what happened was I used to basically just live in the basement. I had a bed down there, my TV and all my shit and Dave Smith and. But then Hurricane Sandy happened and fucked the whole basement up, so I had to start sleeping upstairs. I would get home so late.

[Drew Montana]

With his family.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, I had to.

[Drew Montana]

He had to.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And I was in bed one morning and they were. I don't know, call it the half Colombian in them, but I mean, just screaming from the second they wake up at each other about not being ready, whatever. It was so loud, and I just was like I couldn't sleep. And in pure fury, I just took my heel. I just bash. Kicked a fucking hole right through the wall under the window. And then when they came in at that crazy sound, I just act like I was asleep. And they go, what'd you just do? I go, what? Oh, God, I don't know. Oh, and I never told anything, anybody, anything different until this very moment.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, it really bugs me that you brought up Hurricane Sandy. Because you know what? Here's the thing. Don't feel sorry for Jay either. Because the part of the story that's missing is all the hookers he was fucking.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I paid nobody, but there was a lot of. I was cheating plenty.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. But nothing he brings up natural design. This is how he lied to his girlfriend when she smelled tit on him when he came home.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Damn, dude. You know, it's funny. The night that my ex wife came back to save me from Hurricane Sandy and then also got Stuck in it with me. She goes, you're not anybody else, are you? And I went, come on.

[Drew Montana]

Jay tried to hurricane Sandy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, I did. I heard she was wet.

[Keith Robinson]

Where's that big at?

[Drew Montana]

Who's Sandy?

[Rachel Feinstein]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

He tried to her case.

[Keith Robinson]

Sounds hot.

[Drew Montana]

Alex, where are her points at after five stories?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith, you had something to say?

[Naim Ali]

Did you say you don't pay for it?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I've never paid for. Oh, whoa, whoa. What? Yeah, yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, no. For sure.

[Drew Montana]

J.

[Big J Okerson]

So beautiful.

[Drew Montana]

You've never paid for pussy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's the wrong. Yeah, it's a wrong statement. I've paid for, but I never. None of my cheatings were paying for.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, I get it. You didn't cheat on your wife with hookers. Also a lie. But I like the fact that you clarified it's not a lie.

[Big J Okerson]

Just in case anybody doesn't realize what just happened. They realized they got a hooker together. That's.

[Rachel Feinstein]

First of all, we didn't get a hooker together. Me and Keith found out at a little massage parlor and 15th in Cal Hill, which is what we called it. We called it. You guys want to go to 15th in Calahill?

[Naim Ali]

Here's what it is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They said $125 a poor Asian girl who was brought here against her will, I have to assume, would have sex with you for $125. But Keith found out that if you walk in and go, we only have $75, they. And what happened was Keith used to get a kick out of the fact that when they'd come out, they would all complain about his black dick and not say any complaints about mine.

[Naim Ali]

That was me, him, and Kev. The girl told Kev, too big. Too big. Told me. Too fake.

[Drew Montana]

Told James.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Just right, just right. I Goldilocks her and also believe I left, telling her that I would get her away from all this if she wanted. I'm a romancer. Call me a romantic.

[Drew Montana]

Alex, where are our points at?

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right on the scoreboard. In last place, with four points, Keith Robinson.

[Drew Montana]

Wow.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute. Stop clapping for that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're still in it, Keith.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In fourth place with six points, Big J. O.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Because I'm still in it. Oh, can I get a Diet Coke also? Thank you. Please.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In third place, with eight points, Rachel Feinstein. In second place, with nine points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Drew Montana]

I'm on your Astro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And in the lead with 14 points, Drew Montana.

[Drew Montana]

Come on.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Not even close, dude. Drew, Drew, Drew.

[Keith Robinson]

You guys are all gay. I'm blowing you out, dude. This is my game to win.

[Drew Montana]

All right. Jay, let's take a quick moment and thank yo kratom.com for being a longtime supporter of everything we do here at Story Wars, Gas Digital, Skank Fest, and beyond. One of the best sponsors in the land. These guys love comedy. They support comedy. And if you're in the market for Kratom already, you got to get it from YourCreative.com.

[Rachel Feinstein]

They'Ve also been with us for so long that it's. I mean, they're part of the family at this point. They're sponsors of all things Gas Digital. They have the best deal running in anything, which I believe is the $60 kilo. $60 kilo for the entire. The entirety of the. Of that business being with us. That has never changed.

[Drew Montana]

$30 per pound, essentially.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Essentially for a pound. 1.1 pounds.

[Drew Montana]

I don't even. You don't even need that extra 0.1. But you know what? Throw it in there anyway.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't know if you can get a pound steak for that. Can you? Maybe you can cut that out if you can. Yo, Kratom. It's lab tested, high quality, delivered right to your door. If you are in the market already for Kratom, there's no better place to go for it. So support the company that supports us and go right now to yocratum.com only the $60 kilo. All right, let's get back into it.

[Drew Montana]

Alex. Story number six.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number six. I almost fought a guy at a Journey concert because he wouldn't stop talking during Faithfully. I love that song.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, I know I say every story is big Js.

[Rachel Feinstein]

In fairness, that was hilariously my wedding song.

[Drew Montana]

It was his wedding song.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But it was also. Why I say hilariously was because me and my ex's misgivings were quite public. And then we just loved that song and picked it for our wedding song. And then realizing that 300 comedians were gonna start laughing communally when the song.

[Drew Montana]

Came out, I was there. We cackled like it was the funniest Def jam. We were jumping up and down in the aisle. Miles. It was so funny that they picked Faithfully.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That wedding was.

[Naim Ali]

I got a question. Who's Johnny?

[Rachel Feinstein]

You know, the Journey is. And now I start to think that it's Keith.

[Drew Montana]

Keith never went to go see Journey.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Absolutely. He might have. Keith likes some white.

[Drew Montana]

Keith can't go on Journeys I don't like.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Not without his Marshalls cane.

[Drew Montana]

Big J, you're the only person here who will have seen Journey live.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's so obvious that I would Put. I wouldn't do that. I would go. If I start putting Journey in the song Faithfully, it's too.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, it's crazy. If you did put this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's too obviously me.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like Keith doesn't go to those kinds of outings. Like, for him, a big night is like Applebee's or like. Or like a laser light show or something. Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Now, this could be a surprise, Drew Montana. Because through all that wigger.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Somewhere there's a guy who's. His parents listen to Journey, and he likes Journey.

[Big J Okerson]

Weirdly, you're right.

[Keith Robinson]

I've only been to two concerts in my life. It was Boosie and Paramore, so not a chance.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, it's somewhere in that gray area.

[Keith Robinson]

No Wigger to my heart, brother. I've seen Boosie and Paramore in concert, nothing else. And they were the two best times of my life. I don't. I don't know what Faithfully is. I never. I don't know Journey.

[Drew Montana]

I'm forever your faithfully. You know where I'm from.

[Keith Robinson]

If y'all know where I'm from. I don't know no Journey. I listen to Boosie and Paramore and Marshall Tucker Band, bro. That's it.

[Drew Montana]

Jay. Jay also. I mean, he gets angry at concerts if people aren't acting the way that he wants them to act.

[Keith Robinson]

I've heard Jay do this. I think it's J or Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

How does he want them to.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's giving a bad description. He's describing something evil. That's something actually very positive about.

[Big J Okerson]

Easy, sugar tits. Let him finish the story.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Go ahead. Say mean things about your friend who cares about you.

[Drew Montana]

I will say Jay did. Jay did pay for the Capitol Grill last night for my birthday.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's got nothing to do with. That was a big. That was a very Mexican.

[Drew Montana]

That was a very nice.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was expensive. There was eight people.

[Drew Montana]

I tried to give you my card. You lied to me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I wouldn't take it. I wouldn't take it.

[Big J Okerson]

Stop queering off. Just tell me what the thing is.

[Drew Montana]

No, recently he went to another concert and there were people, like, up front, like, what concert was it? Let me finish.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't know.

[Drew Montana]

Tell me. The concert.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Which one?

[Drew Montana]

The one recently where the people were, like, videotaping and you were mad at them and you tried to have them ejected from the concert.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Sting.

[Drew Montana]

They were having too much fun.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was Sting.

[Drew Montana]

They were having too much fun in.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Front of J. I wasn't having enough fun, so I was goosing Josh Adam Myers up Because he said he knew someone who worked there, the general manager. So every time people would pile into the aisles with their phones, I'd go tell her to send security down to throw them out. Keith, you would love this. And as security came down and started throwing people back to their seats, we were pointing and laughing at them very much like you did to get me into all that legal trouble.

[Drew Montana]

But Jay also will fight guys at the drop of a hat. He loves Journey.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, all these things are true. And I know that sounds like a.

[Big J Okerson]

Shared wedding toast, like. And then remember that first time.

[Drew Montana]

We are.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Both of us are talking too much. But Lewis.

[Drew Montana]

Look, it could easily be me, but I've never seen.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He doesn't give a About this song. I've never seen Journey Live. I would love to see Journey Live. I tried once, but we didn't have tickets.

[Keith Robinson]

The first Rachel, for sure.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel's not trying. Rachel, have you ever seen Journey Live?

[Keith Robinson]

It says almost fought, though.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I think this is Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

This is their wedding. Like, you guys are arguing. Infuriates me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, she's not. But she. It says I almost. This just be a girl saying, like, I was irate because he wouldn't stop talking during Rachel. Keith, this is too obviously me. I wouldn't write one. This obviously.

[Big J Okerson]

No, this is.

[Keith Robinson]

It's Rachel.

[Drew Montana]

It's.

[Big J Okerson]

It's.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I've never seen Journey.

[Drew Montana]

Sometimes. Yes, you have never. I went to go see your daughter's life.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I went to a Journey concert. Did not get in Journey, definitely.

[Drew Montana]

Because you almost fought a guy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, we weren't inside. Kim Handwacker told us that she knew somebody who can get us tickets. We got there, and then she goes, sorry, they didn't come through. And we couldn't afford tickets, so we left and went to go see Superman Returns.

[Keith Robinson]

Kim Handweracker doesn't exist.

[Naim Ali]

I go, lois, for sure.

[Drew Montana]

This is crazy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't think it's Lewis. I don't think Lewis has seen Journey.

[Drew Montana]

I've never seen Journey live.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J is talking too much and too fast.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's Rachel. She just gave herself away.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys. The way you guys are talking, like, with this story. First of all, it does seem like their wedding. Like, I feel like he's like. And then I feel like Jay's like. And then I knew you were going to kiss me, but I kind of wanted you to. And then that's when Black Sabbath started playing. And then you kissed me, and it felt great.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Rachel, that's a fantastic impression of me, but it is you 1000% you try to fight a guy because he sang during your jam from high school.

[Naim Ali]

What was the story?

[Big J Okerson]

What did Jay just say? I don't speak Philly street. Can you tell me?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Drew, tell her what I said, dog.

[Keith Robinson]

He said, you're old, Doug.

[Drew Montana]

Damn.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, is that you?

[Drew Montana]

Old?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yo. Damn. Yo, yo. Am I right, though?

[Drew Montana]

Jay is hiding in plain sight, and this is definitely him.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's a good. I'll do this in the future.

[Drew Montana]

The only thing that I'll say is that it's so obviously him that that's the only thing that's making me think it's not him.

[Keith Robinson]

Can I make a point? I didn't know anything about this song or Jay's wedding song before this. I think it's Rachel. Because it's girl stuff to almost fight a guy during a concert. I'm sorry. I keep saying girl stuff, but not fight no one. That's what's kind of.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She wanted to, though, is the thing.

[Drew Montana]

Look, we've all almost fought, guys. That's the truth. You almost. But we all. We've all. Most of our lives has been almost fights. There's been, like, five real fights, but.

[Rachel Feinstein]

In a concert, I'm so much noise. You're almost fighting. Just going like, I want to fight.

[Drew Montana]

This guy Jay hiding in plain sight right now.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Naim Ali]

Yay.

[Big J Okerson]

If it's true with all these theatrics.

[Drew Montana]

Could be Drew, by the way, if Drew or Drew.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Drew's the only other person that's like, quietly, I don't know the song. He knows he could lie. He's been watching the show.

[Keith Robinson]

I've heard of Journey. I don't know. I've never been to the show, though. I've seen Boosie, bro. I've seen Boosie, the Marshall Tucker Band, and Paramore.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I have a feeling this is gonna end with you going, I've seen Boosie, Marshall Tucker Band and Paramore and Journey.

[Drew Montana]

I. I'm not gonna.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It was one show, one amazing day.

[Drew Montana]

I'm not getting played here, dude. I'm not getting played here.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It has to be bigger in the future. Please, just this.

[Drew Montana]

That's my answer.

[Big J Okerson]

I do kind of think it's big.

[Naim Ali]

I would say big.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You are letting. I say vote for Drew. There's a. If it's him, dude, this game's over.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, but Drew were.

[Keith Robinson]

Oh, no, Drew were.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I would vote for drew.

[Drew Montana]

Drew is 30 years old. He's.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, not any of you. You should vote for Drew.

[Keith Robinson]

It's. Don't stop believing. I've heard of Journey. Him I don't know the Drew.

[Drew Montana]

I'm putting Drew.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It might be true.

[Naim Ali]

Dude, I never like Drew. I never like.

[Keith Robinson]

I don't like you. I don't like.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It could be Keith. It could be. I think it's Rachel. It's. But if it's Drew, we're.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not. It's not Keith.

[Naim Ali]

First of all, it's not me.

[Drew Montana]

Me.

[Keith Robinson]

Dude, I promise you, it's not me.

[Drew Montana]

I prom.

[Keith Robinson]

I've. Bro, I've told you. Three concerts. That's a crazy three concert. Lucy Marshall Tucker Band and Paramore.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You got one more in you.

[Big J Okerson]

If it was Keith, it would be like Grandmaster Flash or some.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I agree. Yeah, I agree.

[Drew Montana]

You want to see the Jackson 5.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Public Enemy, Mahalia Jackson.

[Keith Robinson]

It's raining.

[Drew Montana]

All right, we got to get our answers in. Rachel, what do you think?

[Keith Robinson]

She's deflecting hard right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Tito J. I think it's Big J.

[Drew Montana]

It must be Big J. Lou Roll.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Big J or Louis. It's not Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, but Rachel, before you take your hand. Rachel, before you take your hand off that, just think hard about what you're doing. I am almost out of this game. Points wise, it doesn't mean that much.

[Drew Montana]

But you want to win, Rachel. If it's true, Rachel win.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're. I'm telling you, I know everyone. If I gave this much specifics on music, they're gonna go, it's me. It's. I wouldn't do this.

[Big J Okerson]

He does.

[Drew Montana]

But Jay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Which means it could be Lewis because he knows that he might be throwing off. I don't think Lewis went to see J. Can I go?

[Big J Okerson]

Can I ask the crowd?

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, sure.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you guys think you're.

[Drew Montana]

Leave her now.

[Keith Robinson]

I promise you, it is not me. I swear on my life, it's not me. On my daughter's name.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Or are you. Are you? Rachel. Rachel, you're doing a crazy thing right now.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel, he's playing you like a fiddle right now.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I could be, but I'm not. He's playing you like I've never seen. Jerk.

[Drew Montana]

No, Rachel, you idiot.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I would stick a finger off. I was gonna. What a fool. Drew.

[Drew Montana]

Drew, Big J's just talking over everybody right now because it's him.

[Keith Robinson]

I already had two stories in. It can't be me.

[Drew Montana]

It can't be you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It can absolutely be you.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys, we got it.

[Naim Ali]

Big day.

[Big J Okerson]

Settle down. We need to learn what Keith's answer is. Okay, shake your leg a little bit.

[Naim Ali]

Big J. Keith, you, man.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I know I hurt you before, man, but I put promise you this isn't me.

[Keith Robinson]

It's J.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You are going to have Drew run away with this game. It's going to be crazy.

[Drew Montana]

He's looking at us all doing it's before this.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm mad about that.

[Drew Montana]

If it's Drew, he deserves the win.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I will just thank you so much. How n it is. I'm begging you to not let this be a runaway. On question on story seven, I'm mad.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm not pitching a perfect game anymore. It's Jay.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I up, up. Drew, it's.

[Keith Robinson]

Am I at a perfect game? So far, I haven't missed yet. It's Jay, and I blew it. God damn it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Didn't blow it.

[Naim Ali]

Why are you blowing. Take it back. You can't.

[Drew Montana]

You can't take it back.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You have a better chance than as anybody.

[Drew Montana]

All right, final answer. Keith says big J. And then Rachel's gonna.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, Keith.

[Naim Ali]

Keith, I don't trust you, man.

[Drew Montana]

Dude, if it's true, I'm very impressed, buddy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's. He's so excited that he keeps looking at that page. He keeps looking at that, waiting for that to be finished and locked in.

[Keith Robinson]

Place, you know, for the guy to get me another.

[Naim Ali]

Let me think.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel, you can't change your idea about the joke thing you're writing. We have to go. She's workshopping this.

[Keith Robinson]

It's crazy.

[Drew Montana]

Keeps the thing on the board. Big J with a penis that uncircumcised.

[Keith Robinson]

Oh, you guys are all idiots.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute.

[Drew Montana]

No.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Where's the head? Let's go.

[Drew Montana]

No, no.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That story belongs to Drew Montana.

[Drew Montana]

Come on.

[Naim Ali]

Keith.

[Drew Montana]

Keith.

[Keith Robinson]

I got to say it one more time. Booy Paramore, the Marshall Tucker Band, and Journey.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Let's go, guys.

[Naim Ali]

You know what?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I beg you all.

[Naim Ali]

Let me. Let me say this. That from North Philly deceived me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah.

[Drew Montana]

Getting spanked right now.

[Keith Robinson]

Perfect game.

[Drew Montana]

What happened here? I mean, is there any more to the story? What happened? Why'd you almost fight him? Why did you actually fight him?

[Keith Robinson]

I. I didn't actually fight him. I almost fought him. I was on mushrooms. I really do love that song.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And it was my wedding song, dude.

[Keith Robinson]

This guy and his girlfriend that were. They were standing next to us, they started, like, screaming, match Arguing with each other.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Right?

[Keith Robinson]

Is this. It was like. And they started arguing, and I was like. I didn't want to get involved because I was on mushrooms and I was having a good time, and I was like, hey, man, like, can you wait till, like, after the song? I swear to God, he was like, he's like, yo, mind your fucking business. And then I got mad. I was like, you want to do this during faithfully?

[Rachel Feinstein]

True. You might be the best player ever at story Wars.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, you literally threw it on Jay with a J sounding story. Did you know people were going to think that was Jay?

[Keith Robinson]

I had no idea, dude. I'm just nice with this.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Wow.

[Drew Montana]

Where are our points at? I mean, Drew is pulling away deep and hard. Double points really made the difference here. This is going to be a big jump ahead. God.

[Keith Robinson]

Told you. I'm on your ass.

[Drew Montana]

He just scored eight points on us.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right. On the scoreboard. In last place, with four points, Keith Robinson.

[Keith Robinson]

Boo. Boo. You old ass. You ass.

[Naim Ali]

All right. I got a lot of family in South Philly.

[Keith Robinson]

Yeah, they all sleep on my porch every night. It's crazy. All your cousins and uncles fall asleep on my steps, and I hit them with the fucking door every morning to get out.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Guys, guys. Both things can be true.

[Drew Montana]

Alex, continue, please.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In fourth place, with six points, Big J Okerson down but not out.

[Keith Robinson]

I could have got over, bro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In third place with eight points, Rachel Feinstein.

[Drew Montana]

Boy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In second place with nine points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yo, yo, who even cares?

[Drew Montana]

Brutal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In first place with 22 points, Drew Montana.

[Rachel Feinstein]

By far largest winning gap going into the final two stories.

[Drew Montana]

You largest gap.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I mean, can I tell you something, Drew?

[Keith Robinson]

I just woke up for that.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Drew's gonna leave here and start telling everybody. He goes, yo, if you watch one or two episodes, that game is super easy to win.

[Drew Montana]

I mean, this is a.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's playing us like a fiddle. I begged you both. Vote for Drew.

[Naim Ali]

For Drew.

[Keith Robinson]

You all thought it was me both times. It was me. That's crazy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Everybody was convinced until we weren't.

[Drew Montana]

This is the largest gap we've ever had on the show, and I'm talking about Rachel, but also the point gap as well.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It is not the.

[Keith Robinson]

Roll a celebratory blunt and take the next two rounds off.

[Drew Montana]

It's not over.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's not over. Not over.

[Drew Montana]

By the way, everyone except for Keith can catch up.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith, if you played perfect from here on out and both of them were your stories, you couldn't tie Drew. But I'll tell you what you can do.

[Naim Ali]

Add my hand handicapped or. That's.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, that's true.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He does get five handicap points. We never thought of that before. New rule. Keith actually has nine. Our final. God damn, dude.

[Drew Montana]

No, it's still. Look, we can still win this.

[Keith Robinson]

Good luck, dude. We're Here.

[Rachel Feinstein]

We're there. But I mean I'd have to. To tie. It's all right. Just go.

[Drew Montana]

Go.

[Big J Okerson]

Terrified of Drew at this point.

[Drew Montana]

That's crazy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He's monotonous.

[Drew Montana]

Alex, story number seven.

[Big J Okerson]

He's lacing a bag right now. You guys. What are you doing?

[Keith Robinson]

This one's for you, Rachel.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number seven. My mother shot someone at a card game.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Lewis. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Keith. Keith. This is old Cotton Club. Keith's mom had a little tiny boy pistol in her garter belt. She goes. Uhuh. Lewis's. Keith's mom was in Deadwood. Keith's mom was a Deadwood prostitute. He's trying to coverage your prior story.

[Keith Robinson]

Wait, can I. Can I ask one question?

[Big J Okerson]

Keith's mom is a Deadwood prostitute. It's the funniest thing I've ever.

[Keith Robinson]

I got to ask because I'm clearly nice with this. Rachel. What's up with your mom? I don't know anything.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I don't know if you've ever heard the impression of her mom, but I promise you she's never shot someone in a car for sure. She may have shot someone to look at Neiman Marcus for looking at a woman.

[Keith Robinson]

Lewis.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Mom died.

[Keith Robinson]

Your mom didn't shoot anyone. It's Keith.

[Naim Ali]

No, that's.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's completely.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm blacker than all of you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's definitely 100%.

[Naim Ali]

It's.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's for sure before I. I'm saying it out loud for you. Just say that out loud for you. Drew.

[Drew Montana]

I'm pissed.

[Naim Ali]

My name one more time.

[Keith Robinson]

I got it.

[Drew Montana]

I don't think I. I don't think. Think we could win here.

[Big J Okerson]

This is too racist to write Keith this fast.

[Naim Ali]

It is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I won't do it so fast.

[Keith Robinson]

This is all his talk detects would take. Dude.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But I will be. I will. It will be hard pressed to talk me out of Keith right now. Louis.

[Naim Ali]

Wait a minute.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Lewis's mother was. And listen to me. Just a junky rotten piece of.

[Drew Montana]

She had. She had Lois.

[Rachel Feinstein]

At least.

[Drew Montana]

At least my mother wasn't just the.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Town my mom cops to keep us safe. She was a single mother.

[Drew Montana]

The town slut.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Not the town. The precinct.

[Big J Okerson]

Jesus Christ.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She cops to keep us safe in a. In a West Philadelphia.

[Drew Montana]

My mother had to make the rent.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Your mother didn't. She didn't.

[Big J Okerson]

She turning into an after school special.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She made the rent money and then she used it on heroin.

[Drew Montana]

Some of it and some of it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And she was also a prostitute. But to the best of my knowledge, never Shot anybody at a card game. Shooting someone at a card game takes place in an era long gone, Keith. When you would come home from school with your school books and your belt over your shoulder like balky bartokamas over the ridge.

[Keith Robinson]

Look at him, bro. It's Keith for sure.

[Drew Montana]

And your mother.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Your mother was dressed in a flapper girl outfit and had four cards in her fucking headdress. She goes, hey, Keith, go dig a hole for this. He thought he could cheat me in gin rummy.

[Drew Montana]

Right? Yeah. This is a very.

[Big J Okerson]

It was during the gold rush and it was Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

This goddamn Keith.

[Big J Okerson]

And it was during a wild west key long forgotten. Who do you think it is, Keith? Who do you want to pretend it is?

[Naim Ali]

Is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It's only possibly other Lewis. If it's Drew. Oh, we're just show. We're not gonna do the last story. It's over. We're getting humiliate.

[Drew Montana]

True. We're gonna take a week off.

[Keith Robinson]

My mom's a nice lady. Would never shoot a guy.

[Drew Montana]

You're never gonna journey, you piece of What Faithfully.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Is that one of their songs? Oh, is it don't stop Believing? Maybe one of their. You're idiots. I said the song.

[Keith Robinson]

I thought that it up. I said don't stop believing. I was like, I blew it. You guys voted for them as Drew. It's me. It's me. Go ahead.

[Drew Montana]

Shut up.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Naive.

[Drew Montana]

You lying.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Naim is Drew's mom. A gunslinging son of a.

[Drew Montana]

Yes. A lot of.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, no. I want.

[Keith Robinson]

She goes to church 11 times a week. It's crazy. It's.

[Drew Montana]

By the way, she's repenting for all that murder.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'll be honest with you. If I didn't put my answer in already, I would have voted for Naim for this.

[Drew Montana]

Keith, who is your answer, Keith?

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, all of you guys had terrible moms. That's besides the point.

[Rachel Feinstein]

My mother was not terrible. She did the best she could with what she had. And what she had was fat Jewish tits, a size 0 body and a that wouldn't quit. And she would have sex with police officers to keep us safe in a duplex with a no male figure around. She did her best. She did her best.

[Naim Ali]

Is that mom?

[Rachel Feinstein]

We didn't have cable when I was 17.

[Keith Robinson]

Naim's acting like he's at the movies right now. This is nuts.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Naim's living it. The do rag, everybody. And do rag of the deer tag.

[Keith Robinson]

No, make more noise for that. The do rag for do rag and the deer tag. Come on. All right. Still Wasn't what I wanted.

[Drew Montana]

Keith, who's your final answer?

[Naim Ali]

I'm gonna go with Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, Karen Feinstein shots away at a card game. What was it? Canasta with her friends?

[Keith Robinson]

If her name's Karen.

[Big J Okerson]

Right after book club.

[Rachel Feinstein]

When I shot that rage, the had it coming.

[Big J Okerson]

And you know what? It felt fantastic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It really did.

[Big J Okerson]

It was so liberating. I heard Gloria Steinem's speech, and I said, fuck it. I'll kill a bitch.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Watching a lady's soul leave her body does something to you.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe I do have some play. I can just fucking whisper it or something. Keith, what do you want to write?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith, are you going to write J? Are you. You've met my mother.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You think she shoots people?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Rachel Feinstein]

God damn.

[Drew Montana]

It's Keith is the last one. And it's him. Just pick anybody. Jesus.

[Big J Okerson]

Just pick anybody.

[Drew Montana]

Me.

[Naim Ali]

All right, put Lewis, you and Naim.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Could also be Naim.

[Drew Montana]

Naeem has a story like this, guaranteed.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Naim's one goes. Yeah, she shots him. It wasn't over cards. It wasn't a bullshit like that. It was over dice.

[Drew Montana]

Alex, our final answers are in.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This story belongs to Keith Robbins.

[Naim Ali]

All right. It got me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Keith Roberts.

[Drew Montana]

That's what her victim said.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I know, dude. Keith is Robin.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, was 1975.

[Drew Montana]

Did she kill him?

[Naim Ali]

I don't know. We was on the one for a year.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, you were already born.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, we left Philadelphia for about a year to go to Fredericksburg, Maryland. And I'll never forget one tuna. They had teachers and parents day. And, you know, the teacher said, your son is not focusing. And my mom said, why can't you just focus like, mom, we're on a run. That's why.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, the new school was wondering why you weren't focused because you're looking over your shoulder for the family of the person your mom shot. And then whenever you just moved back to Philly, she was like, heat's died down. We're good.

[Naim Ali]

That's hilarious.

[Big J Okerson]

And they basically. They were, like, gonna diagnose him with ADD because his mom shot someone.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She didn't say that. Though the media, she goes, I did.

[Big J Okerson]

Kill somebody, and we are on the wrong criminal.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Why can't you focus?

[Drew Montana]

Oh, man. I mean, at this point, I believe Drew has run away, and we can't beat him. We will do our final story. But I'm pissed. What are these final. What are these points at right now? Alex?

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, on the scoreboard, in last place, with four points, Keith Robinson.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Everyone gets their due.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In fourth place with 10 points, Big J Okerson.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Respectable.

[Drew Montana]

Can we start counting whenever Jay is not in last? Can we count that as a big J win?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, no, no, no. 30. And three. And 30. Fucking three.

[Keith Robinson]

The Sixers. That's crazy.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, double hurt.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm a fan, brother. I'm sorry.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In third place with 12 points, Rachel Feinstein. In second place with 13 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Reached. Dude.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And in the lead with 26 points, Drew Montana.

[Drew Montana]

Drew. True, true, true, true. Alex, I have a question just for our own.

[Keith Robinson]

Has anyone scored 30 on this one?

[Big J Okerson]

I love the enthusiasm from the Durag.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Boys, by the way. The crowd picks favorites for sure. Because this young lady right here, every time they announce that you're in the lead with all the points, she folds her arms and goes. She's internally rooting for somebody else.

[Keith Robinson]

I don't like that either.

[Rachel Feinstein]

What the hell?

[Drew Montana]

Alex, what is our. What is our highest score ever on the show? Do we know? We have one more story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I believe it is 27 points.

[Drew Montana]

Wow. Drew. Drew. This Bobby Kelly is the highest score ever. You could take the. The highest story WAR score ever and.

[Rachel Feinstein]

The first ever perfect game. Yeah.

[Drew Montana]

Whoa.

[Keith Robinson]

I ain't scared of nothing, bro.

[Drew Montana]

Wow. Has it been a perfect game?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Drew Montana]

Let me say this not only like a legitimate perfect game, like he fooled everybody both the times.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Drew Montana]

A legit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

A legitimate perfect game. May I say Bobby Kelly's high score was done through a bonus round, which makes this much stronger.

[Drew Montana]

Well, no, it's still the.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm the best ever. No.

[Drew Montana]

Right? We have one more. We have one more story. So it does matter, by the way, because you could take the record for perfect game and the highest score in the history of Star Wars. Gentlemen, one more time for Drew Montana. No matter what happens, this is an all time game. It's an amazing game. We have one more story.

[Keith Robinson]

Is Dru underscore Montana? Go ahead.

[Drew Montana]

All right, guys, let's take a moment and thank crowd health for supporting today's show. Health insurance is broken, Premiums are increasing, deductibles are getting larger, and claim denials are becoming more and more common. The headache of health insurance is exactly why crowd health was created. It's not health insurance. It's a better way to pay for health care through crowdfunding. And crowd health gives their members the freedom to efficiently and affordably break free from the antiquated insurance system and into a healthcare option that fits your needs.

[Rachel Feinstein]

The insurance companies do not give you any kind of peace of mind. Crowd health does. That's why your 50amonth membership includes the tools and services you need to get the highest quality health care. You get access to telemedicine, visits, discounted prescriptions, and a whole bunch more without doctors networks messing everything up. Plus, you'll have access to your own personal care advocate who will help you navigate the complexities of health events and even negotiate the bills on your behalf. And of course, you'll join the crowd, a group of members just like you who want to help pay for each other's unexpected medical events.

[Drew Montana]

It's time you opt out of restrictive health insurance plans and let crowd health help fit your healthcare needs. Get started today for just $50 a month. Go to joincrowdhealth.com warswithaz to get the healthcare that you deserve. Crowd health is not insurance. Learn [e-mail] that's joincrowdhealth.com wars with a Z. Alex story number eight.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story number eight. I dated someone who was cheating on me regularly.

[Drew Montana]

His wife.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She's not even playing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I. I got so angry one time that I punched a large tree with all of my might and shattered the bones in my hand.

[Keith Robinson]

All of my might is crazy. What are you, a power ranger?

[Rachel Feinstein]

This is. And you know what, Drew? Let me. Let me feed you this easy win. This is Louis J. Gomez. This is a nutty thing to do. It's not.

[Drew Montana]

First of all, I. I never did.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Dramatic.

[Drew Montana]

I never, never dated anyone that cheated on me regularly. Well, listen, I had one girl cheated on me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

It could be Rachel. It could be Rachel. Because this is. You know, a scorned woman will definitely punch a tree.

[Keith Robinson]

Women will. Women get cheated on more than men, and they will also punch trees.

[Big J Okerson]

Had it with your tit theories, by the way. He's like a man. Here's what the woman does. Now, how many times do you have to throw us holes under the bus? We're doing the best we can.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Women.

[Drew Montana]

Women. Women have weak hands that can be shattered easily.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You do. You do have a little Nerf.

[Big J Okerson]

He's too angry at women, though, and I am terrified of him. Like, I feel like you're capable of anything.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Like, he's gonna he hunt already, but she's deflecting wildly.

[Big J Okerson]

He hunts coeds.

[Drew Montana]

Take Keith's sign down.

[Naim Ali]

I don't trust.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't like you instructing me. Louis, shut up.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Could you please take.

[Drew Montana]

What?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Your side? No, it's not you, Keith. This is up to Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

It really bugs me that I'm Keith's secretary. Pigs.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel, can you wipe Keith's ass, please? Wipe his ass.

[Rachel Feinstein]

He can do it. But why when you're here?

[Big J Okerson]

Guys, I'm not. I'm done with Keith. You're gonna be the one that's gonna feed him his sweet potatoes out of a straw tonight. I'm finished.

[Drew Montana]

I can see this being. Big J. Were you cheated on regularly?

[Rachel Feinstein]

No.

[Naim Ali]

Yeah, he was regularly. I was.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, that wasn't regularly. That was just.

[Drew Montana]

Oh, no. Yeah, your first girl cheated on you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But when you remember that. I smashed the bones in my hand. We drove up every day and you guys made fun of me for it. You guys said, right now he's got. She had. She's been over a couch with your headshot taped to her back. So he can fuck her and then come on your face and her back at the same time. Now, I know this sounds evil, but I gotta be honest with you. It really brought me back. It snapped me back pretty nice. Like they did. They didn't handle it that way. Nobody was fucking sweet about it. They were all like, fuck her. She's a slut. She's getting fucked right now with your headshot on her back.

[Big J Okerson]

Christ.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And then, you remember our friend 2 Ray was in the car one time while they were doing that. He goes, hey, guys, the guy's hurting, man. Leave him alone. And then they went, shut the up. And they shit on him so much. He goes, I'm sorry, man. Make fun of my man. And then he just went back to shitting on me. He got out of it.

[Drew Montana]

This also.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That wasn't regularly. That was. I found out it was all at once, so it was no regularly thing.

[Drew Montana]

This could also be a third. It could be a. It could be a third. Can somebody kick out Naim?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Yeah, he's doing great.

[Keith Robinson]

Any other show. This is unacceptable.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, it's crazy. He's a professional comedian. He knows this isn't allowed.

[Keith Robinson]

This is my friend.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Friend.

[Drew Montana]

What are you doing? This could also be a third Drew story.

[Keith Robinson]

I prom. This isn't me. This is.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, but none of it's you. You piece of it.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Dude drew it. Dude, I'm so be.

[Drew Montana]

You can't. You can't give him another eight points, Jay or Rachel.

[Keith Robinson]

I promise you, this isn't me.

[Big J Okerson]

Train more about women.

[Keith Robinson]

No, I think, but I.

[Drew Montana]

It's shattering. Shattering Hand is.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I'm learning his acting. Looking at it again. Giving it a good read. Over. Is this even? I don't know what punched is. Punched a thing. There's no trees where I live.

[Keith Robinson]

You punch with the hands.

[Drew Montana]

Right.

[Keith Robinson]

I think it's Rachel.

[Drew Montana]

I Kind of think it's Rachel, too, because that's. No offense, Rachel. I'm not being sexist. I'm just saying you have dainty hands, and you could shatter them easily by punching things.

[Big J Okerson]

Also, women are so sad that I really was complimented by that. I was like, oh, sweet.

[Drew Montana]

You have tiny hands.

[Big J Okerson]

I should say. What a dark place I'm at right now. And the fact that I'm sitting with these animals.

[Naim Ali]

It's not Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

What's that?

[Rachel Feinstein]

I thought it might be Rachel, but.

[Keith Robinson]

I think I've had four stories already.

[Big J Okerson]

Drew has empty eyes. He's capable of anything.

[Drew Montana]

Drew's had two stories. Now he's making up numbers.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Go ahead, he said, I've already had four stories.

[Big J Okerson]

It's also like he.

[Drew Montana]

Well, here's the thing. Jay already wrote Drew, so if it's Drew, Drew didn't pitch the perfect.

[Keith Robinson]

I don't want someone to get points here. This isn't me. I think it's Jay or Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

I also will say that the last one, the faithfully one, was kind of written like a short story. It was like, you know, and that's kind of how this is written, too, you know, very Drew.

[Drew Montana]

Like, I would say it's rare that Drew would get two stories in a row right at the end. Three stories. And Rachel's only had one story on Today.

[Keith Robinson]

I only had one Louis, for sure, because he knows the game too well, and he wouldn't know the mathematics of it. And he just explained that now it's.

[Drew Montana]

I think it's true. I think Drew is playing the fucking.

[Keith Robinson]

Go ahead, dude. I won already. I don't give a. I think me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And Lewis, this could definitely. Listen, this could be Lewis, and I'm forgetting when he shattered his hand, but I don't remember a woman who's cheating on him regularly.

[Drew Montana]

I remember girls that cheated on me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Last year for the dog walker.

[Drew Montana]

Well, she didn't leave.

[Keith Robinson]

None of you guys have anything that matters in this game.

[Rachel Feinstein]

And then with him after a year.

[Drew Montana]

She wasn't with him after me, and.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Had a fruitful life. And she loved him so much.

[Drew Montana]

I'm going.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Jay or Drew. Who is it? Who is it? I wanted. I want to ask that guy.

[Drew Montana]

Or is it Rachel?

[Rachel Feinstein]

You're wrong in thinking. Are you taking Lewis out of this?

[Big J Okerson]

Who is it?

[Naim Ali]

Don't listen to him. He's a liar.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, it's definitely Drew now. He just sold you out.

[Big J Okerson]

Who do you guys think it is?

[Keith Robinson]

Go ahead, dude. I don't care.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you think? Who do you guys think it is?

[Keith Robinson]

I'll go. Louis.

[Drew Montana]

Very much.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Could be.

[Drew Montana]

I think you're a fool. I think it's Rachel Feinstein. I think this is a woman.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I am this dramatic.

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody thinks it's Louis.

[Drew Montana]

I. I feel like I would know if Jay was cheated on regularly. But I didn't know you with that girl when you were younger.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But she didn't cheat on me regularly.

[Big J Okerson]

Who do you think it is? Keith?

[Naim Ali]

Well, she cheated on you regularly.

[Rachel Feinstein]

No, she. That guy. And then left forever.

[Naim Ali]

I'm going.

[Drew Montana]

Rachel finds it, not me.

[Keith Robinson]

Rachel.

[Rachel Feinstein]

But they don't have trees.

[Drew Montana]

I'm just copying over Drew's answer because Drew has had a perfect game so far.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Who'd you go with?

[Drew Montana]

Rachel.

[Big J Okerson]

Remember when Keith's girlfriend caught him cheating and she went and she broke into his home and she cut up his water bed or whatever he had in his house?

[Rachel Feinstein]

Sure.

[Big J Okerson]

And she caught up like she had. You know. Imagine how ignorant Key's home is. It's like a velvet picture of a Corvette or something. And it's. And she cut up his.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Listen.

[Big J Okerson]

And she cut up his Diesel jeans. And. And Keith came back with the woman with, like, Whoever he was cheating with. She put oil all over the. The floor and rice. I wish I could send her an edible arrangement for doing this. What a wonderful woman. And then the girl slipped that you were cheating on her with. Right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Some of my favorite stories of Keith are the violence that's been brought upon him from cheating. A woman drove to. Followed him to Kevin Hart's house to meet us one day because she was mad because Keith was dressed up. For some reason, she thought it was for another girl. But Keith just wanted to dress nice because he's black. And she followed him to Kevin Hart's house, and when she got out, she stayed in front of him and shook up a fucking Diet Pepsi and just opened it and sprayed it all over his shirt. And then we had to stop on the way to New York at a rest stop so we could buy, like, a Wildwood, New Jersey, wolf shirt.

[Big J Okerson]

You're right. Many, many.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That was so great.

[Big J Okerson]

Many women have ruined his clothing.

[Drew Montana]

You're right.

[Big J Okerson]

Because I remember him coming. He always has one top hanging up, like, from stuff. Like, it's always, like, some, like, Nigerian silk shop in Philly or something. Me and Keith.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Go ahead. I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you first.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Me and Keith could never be. We all came home one night from New York and went to Kevin Hart's house, and there was a girl burning his clothes in a Bonfire. Dancing around it like this. That's the worst. Losing your clothes story.

[Naim Ali]

Keith rules.

[Rachel Feinstein]

She was dancing around a cauldron of man.

[Keith Robinson]

He's the goat.

[Drew Montana]

Keith, who's your final answer?

[Naim Ali]

I gotta go with Drew cuz I don't like him.

[Rachel Feinstein]

That's a good reason. Now it might be Keith. Now it might be.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, we gotta get him.

[Keith Robinson]

Keith is it. That doesn't mean anything in the game. I already won. This isn't me.

[Rachel Feinstein]

I feel like this is. I feel like this is a story Keith tells people to. Why his right arm doesn't work.

[Keith Robinson]

It's Rachel.

[Naim Ali]

Oh, I'm out of here.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, laugh all you want. I was cheated on regularly and I broke this arm punching a tree in anger.

[Keith Robinson]

Keith, let me make amends with you right now. It's Rachel. Write her and we'll be friends forever, Dude.

[Drew Montana]

All right.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You might be right, Rachel.

[Naim Ali]

Put it in there.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Rachel. Write your own goddamn name.

[Drew Montana]

Write your name.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I have a golden. Has ever needed anything else but that.

[Keith Robinson]

A snake.

[Naim Ali]

Here we go.

[Keith Robinson]

You guys should hire him to do this every show.

[Rachel Feinstein]

All right, final story. Everyone's answers are in. Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The final story belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Drew Montana]

I don't know why it's making me so happy that I thwarted your perfect game. You wrote down Lewis. You erased it. I knew it was you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is. This is the girl that I remember the. The girl that got called fat at the UFC event that I didn't defend.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. None of us defended her.

[Drew Montana]

None of us defended her. And yeah, she would just fucking everybody. She was such a slut. And like, we. We used to read Harry Potter in the park to each other and we were in the middle of a Harry Potter reading session.

[Rachel Feinstein]

This is the girl who broke you?

[Drew Montana]

Yeah, she. Well, she was fat, so.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Well, so those guys in Philadelphia told us.

[Drew Montana]

Yeah.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Stood up. They go. They go. Shut the. Up. You end the. And your fat. And all of us just look down.

[Drew Montana]

We know. We acted like we didn't hear what they said. We're like. It's loud. What?

[Rachel Feinstein]

What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

Look forward.

[Keith Robinson]

He used to be the Puerto Rican basilisk.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You.

[Drew Montana]

I do speak parcel tongue.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think every woman sends that? He's a. That has been her. Like, do you think that really is the woman who broke him?

[Drew Montana]

Dude, I. No, but she. So somehow I don't even remember how I found out, but I found she was cheating on me. And I mean with all of my might. There was a giant. The biggest tree you'd ever See, I went. I ran at it. I punched it with everything I had. It's not a drywall. Literally, my.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You thought you were going to break through the tr. What do you.

[Drew Montana]

My hand shattered. I felt it up my forearm into my shoulder. It was crazy.

[Keith Robinson]

Lewis was trying to make an owl home. That's crazy.

[Drew Montana]

Doggy. It was wild how badly it hurt my hand.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Who am I going to read Harry Potter to in the bar by myself like a lunatic?

[Drew Montana]

Oh, shit. I mean Drew. Drew.

[Rachel Feinstein]

By the way.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, in Lewis's language, she was a fat slut. Means I've never loved anyone more.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Never loved the way he loved.

[Drew Montana]

What is our final scores, Alex? Drew did not get the perfect game, which makes me happy for some reason. He did not get the record for points as well, but he did whoop our ass.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Go ahead, make it official.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right. On the scoreboard, in last place, with 4 points, Keith Robinson. In fourth place with 10 points, Big J. Okerson.

[Rachel Feinstein]

3 and 33. Why do I come every week?

[Louis J. Gomez]

In third place, with 16 points, Rachel Feinstein.

[Drew Montana]

Respectable, respectable Rachel.

[Louis J. Gomez]

In second place with 19 points, Louis J. Gomez. And your winner tonight with 26 points, Drew Montana.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Drew Montana. The newest story, warrior takes home the dove in the iron cauldron. Sweeping and evocative, Dove in an Iron Cauldron blends historical romance with the chilling allure of magical realism. A tale of resilience, redemption, and the love that defies even death.

[Keith Robinson]

I'm gonna say it. Dude. No, I'm kidding.

[Drew Montana]

Double points, Rachel and Keith. Rachel, can you sign Keith's name into this? Fuck you.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm done. I'm done working for you.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Folks, please write Keith's name. Rachel, we gave you an extra hundred dollars to care take.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith, you do it. That's right. I'm taking a stand. I'm so sick of sexism.

[Rachel Feinstein]

You are the shittiest home nurse ever.

[Drew Montana]

Guys, thank you so much for coming out. You guys have a good time. What are the new people? You guys have a good time. You guys are the best. We, this is actually our last time we're doing Story wars at the Sand. We're moving into another club. So check out our social media for information on that. April 30, we have a brand new location that's the next live show in New York City.

[Rachel Feinstein]

Every Wednesday night Live in New York City. Come join us. Tell your friends. How about a big round of applause for our entire panel here. Keith Robinson, Rachel Feinstein. Make sure you check out their Netflix special. Of course. Drew Montana, your newest Story Warrior. Check out Do Rag and the Deer Tag wherever you listen to podcasts with Naim Ali. For the Story Warriors, I'm Big J. Okerson. That's Louis J. Gomez. We'll catch you next time. Until then, peace. Thank you. I.