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Richard Karn
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Unknown
You agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from Pocket host. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required.
Big J Okerson
Terms apply. Available@pocket hose.com terms what's going on? Story warriors very excited to announce that we have merch available right now at our brand new website, storywarsmerch.com so if you guys want to rep the show that you love and you do love it, there's so many different things. We have great designs, we have double point shirts, story Warrior shirts, hoodies, everything you guys want. Rep the show that you guys love. Whether you got double points or double tits. Guess what? Storywars has you covered. The go to storywarsmerch.com that's storywars with a Z merch dot com and grab your T shirts or hoodies. Today we're going to have other stuff coming out. This is the first limited run. These are all limited edition designs, so grab them now before they disappear.
Unknown
Fill her up.
You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.
Big J Okerson
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the Story Warriors. Big J. Ok and Louis J. Koman.
Louis J. Gomez
What's up everybody? Welcome to Story Wars. Make some noise in this building, please. Wow.
Big J Okerson
Wow.
Louis J. Gomez
We're packed up.
Big J Okerson
They got a great energy in here today.
Louis J. Gomez
Very good energy. Thank you so much for being here. Our new home of the New York Comedy Club here for Story Wars. Thank you guys for being a part of this. How many people here Familiar with the show Story Wars. That's most.
Big J Okerson
How many people are not familiar with Story Wars? Okay. A decent amount. You guys are gonna have a listen. You're gonna. You're gonna. We're gonna blow your mind today with the best comedy game show on the planet. Am I right?
Louis J. Gomez
You're about to have your mind fucking blown if you're not familiar with Story Wars. We're going to explain the game after we get our esteemed panel up here, which we have an amazing one tonight. Your first contestant coming to stage his special Dear Jonah, available on YouTube, and you know him from the Gentle Giant tour. Make some noise for the hilarious Jim Florentine, everybody.
Big J Okerson
And our second competitor from High Society Radio on the guest digital network and the Bennington show, clap it up for Chris Stanley.
Louis J. Gomez
And our third contestant, you know him from the column Tyrell Show. So who else could it be but the hilarious column Terrell? Make some. No. Very exciting to have the three of you boys here. If you're not familiar with Story wars or if you're a new listener at home, here is how the game works. All five of us on this panel, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one given subject. Tonight's subject, mistakes. Mistakes. Alex, our lovely producer, is gonna read eight of those stories off one at a time, in no particular order at all. Now, if it is your story, you're the only person who knows that. So it's your job to trick other people to think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.
Big J Okerson
Every time you guess a correct story, you get two points. For every person you fool on the panel, you get one point. So you can get up to four points if it's your story. And. And once you put your answer in this slot right here, that is your final answer. You take your hand away, you can't change it. That's that. And by the way, this is a really fun game. I'll tell you right now. We just. We come up here, we. We laugh. Everyone has a great time in the crowd. We're all having a lot of fun, but we don't play for fun. Jay, let them know what we're playing for today.
Louis J. Gomez
What? Today, the winner takes home. Suddenly Frugal by Leah Ingram.
Unknown
Oh, wow.
Louis J. Gomez
Suddenly Frugal is a practical guide to Lee Ingram, designed to help readers save money without sacrificing their lifestyle.
Unknown
I need this.
Louis J. Gomez
Aimed at people who want to cut costs quickly. The book offers hundreds of real world Tips on how to lower bills, spend less on groceries, reduce energy costs, and shop smarter. Whether you're dealing with a job loss, preparing for a big purchase, or you just want to build better financial habits, take control of your spending without feeling deprived.
Unknown
How nice.
Big J Okerson
Directly out of the Story wars library.
Unknown
They also call that being Jewish for Dummies.
Jay. You didn't know that? You didn't know that off the top of your head? I figured.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, I did not. Yeah, I should have memorized that.
Unknown
There can possibly be hundreds of ways to save money.
Louis J. Gomez
Are you not.
Unknown
Are you crazy?
Louis J. Gomez
Tell that to Leah Ingram. Dude.
Unknown
Ziploc bags. Reuse them. Bang.
Shit.
That's one.
Is that in the book?
Louis J. Gomez
Without any further ado, is this crowd ready for war? Is this crowd ready for war?
Unknown
Scary. Scary.
Louis J. Gomez
Then, Alex, please. Story number one.
Unknown
Story number one. I ejaculated inside a one night stand because I mistakenly thought she said she was on the pill. She was not.
Interesting.
Big J Okerson
I read it, by the way, as she was reading it. I read it as I ejaculated inside of a nightstand like one night stand. And I was like, either way, it's a real mistake.
Louis J. Gomez
Either way. My first thought is you, nightstand or a one night stand. I believe this story. That you're my first instinct.
Big J Okerson
I'll always say, well, listen, I do love a cream pie. I'm the mayor of Cream Pie City. Everyone knows that about me.
Unknown
Cream Pie Jones. That's everyone who calls you.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm the constable of Cream Pie City.
Unknown
I thought you're the comptroller.
Big J Okerson
The comptroller.
Unknown
That's good.
Big J Okerson
Hell yes, the comptroller.
Louis J. Gomez
It was good. It was good. Some people are new competition.
Big J Okerson
Look, here's the thing. I will tell you right now, and I do this a lot. I will admit that this is. This thing that I would do.
Unknown
This is coming in a one night stand. That's you.
Big J Okerson
I've come in so many one nights. I met a girl. I met a girl one time at Coyote Ugly in the city in the East Village. She was ugly.
Unknown
Was she working?
Big J Okerson
She was in.
Louis J. Gomez
She was Coyote Ugly.
Big J Okerson
And I met. I just met her. I fucked her in the bathroom. I came inside of her. I was like, well, that was crazy. I think I might have a child out here right now with an ugly woman.
Unknown
I don't think you can get pregnant in a bathroom. I think there's like a something about that sacred area in a bathroom.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, I thought it was the scrubbing bubbles.
Unknown
It's a fluorescent lights.
Big J Okerson
But yeah, I have. I've cream pied many strangers. But it's not because this show is hot.
Louis J. Gomez
That is.
Unknown
Can I tell you, it's so poetic.
Louis J. Gomez
I always do this and I myself, let me tell you why I would. Why this might not be Lewis. He doesn't care if they're on the pill.
Big J Okerson
I don't care if they're on the pill.
Louis J. Gomez
He doesn't ask. He blows a load and assumes if she accepts that load, she's figured it out.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Unknown
That is the root. Yeah. Ask for forgiveness, not permission. That's what we say.
Big J Okerson
It's very Catholic of you.
Unknown
But he still could have mistakenly thought she was on it, even though he didn't care.
Big J Okerson
No. I've come in a lot of girls that were on pills, but not the pill. No, but it's my thing.
Louis J. Gomez
I understand what Jim's saying, though, for sure. Like, you would have done it anyway. But she, you thought she told you she was so you were like, oh, I guess super safe now.
Big J Okerson
I think a lot of dudes have this or this is not an extremely.
Unknown
Unique story, actually the best excuse to ever come inside a girl and go, you said earlier you're on the pill. And she's like, no, I didn't.
Big J Okerson
What she said, I'd like to chill.
Unknown
What are you gaslighting me?
Big J Okerson
I mean, Colm Turrell is a fucking savage. A savage.
Unknown
Facts are facts. But don't let that persuade you that this is me.
Big J Okerson
Calm's getting married in like two or three weeks.
Unknown
I'm getting married in two or three weeks.
Oh, yeah.
So now's your last chance. Who wants another cream pie in the bathroom?
Big J Okerson
So I, I, my only thing is, I, I don't know that on the eve of his wedding or, you know, a couple weeks before his wedding that he'd be telling this story on a very popular podcast.
Unknown
These are his vows, actually.
That's the weird part time this comes out. He'll be married, though, right?
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Unknown
Is it like two weeks?
Big J Okerson
Yeah, yeah, something like that.
Louis J. Gomez
All right, Jim.
Unknown
Yeah.
She's pregnant. That's why we're getting married.
Louis J. Gomez
Jim, you very Irish.
Richard Karn
Holy.
Louis J. Gomez
You're a longtime pussy slayer, Jim Florentine. And I asked the were you, were you a condoms guy or you try to not condoms. Big time condoms guy. Yeah, I think, see, I think it's.
Unknown
Lewis because Lewis right away jumped on it saying, I've done that before, but I didn't care.
Louis J. Gomez
And he's talked a lot and he's done this very same thing.
Big J Okerson
The did I ever do to you? Oh, that.
Louis J. Gomez
Well, you came inside Me when I told you I wasn't on the pill. So I know this could be you.
Unknown
Buttermouth.
Louis J. Gomez
Little. Both.
Big J Okerson
So Florentines. So I'm not a condom guy. I will admit that. But who?
Unknown
I mean, it's 20, 25. Who's a crazy.
Big J Okerson
Who. Who. Who chooses condoms? I see that. She asked me to put a condom on, and I'm like, all right. She's cool. Then I. Fucking without a condom.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, yeah. There hasn't been AIDS since 1997.
Big J Okerson
Crazy. We figured that out a long time ago. Penn and Teller taught us that AIDS isn't real.
Louis J. Gomez
They did?
Unknown
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
On a very special episode of Bullshit.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Yeah. The episode of Bullshit, we were like, I'm not wearing a fucking condom again. Thank you.
Unknown
Penn and Teller, they red pilled everyone.
Louis J. Gomez
Fuck. I want to just write Louis.
Big J Okerson
Jay, you choose me for almost every story.
Unknown
That's a good strategy.
Big J Okerson
And Jay. Jay has. Out of 50 episodes or so, Jay's won four times. He's on the show every week. I wouldn't follow Jay's lead too often. This is what I'm saying. I'm going column. I mean, look, everyone here, I can see doing this Florentine. You've had a couple days where you fucking. You know, you don't always work condoms. You're a fucking rock and roll comedian.
Unknown
This guy.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, this guy. Big J. You're a piece of.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm not a cream pie guy, though. You know?
Big J Okerson
You are. Who's not a cream pie? It's our instincts.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm the mayor of Bukkake City. You been known that.
Unknown
Population 1.
Could it be Chris Stanley, though. He's very quiet over there.
Louis J. Gomez
He is very quiet.
Unknown
Much.
Louis J. Gomez
And maybe I don't picture him ejaculating for some reason.
Unknown
Who comes? It's crazy.
Big J Okerson
Stanley just starts to sweat. He gets out of breath. He almost passed out, and he gives up.
Unknown
Was it good for you? No, I think it's Florentine.
Florence.
Guy's old school.
Florentine got quiet when we started talking to him. That's what I'm going on.
And he was very quiet when the. Actually when it came up, even after you guys started talking. I'm sitting right next to Florentine, by the way, and I'm sure got the inside scoop. I'm sure. This is Florentine. All right. And I hate condoms, by the way.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. For the record, let it be known.
Big J Okerson
Hey, ladies. We all hate conics.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
It's a safe space.
Louis J. Gomez
So if anybody wants to get raw dog tonight.
Big J Okerson
I'm Going with my first things. I'll. I'll start the voting off column. Turrell, you're a fucking degenerate. And.
Louis J. Gomez
But degenerate doesn't care if she's on the. That's what I'm saying.
Unknown
True.
Big J Okerson
No, you do care, though. You do care. You know, I wouldn't come inside of a stranger now, but in my 20s and 30s.
Unknown
I guess you're infected with the woke mind virus then.
Big J Okerson
I'm infected with some viruse, I'll tell you that much. Column. Tura is my final answer.
Unknown
It's just the way we play it. I thought we were all supposed to turn at the same time.
Big J Okerson
No, no, not the same time. No, no, we could you do it anytime you want.
Unknown
Is this the only game show where the hosts play the game?
Louis J. Gomez
Maybe Shut the up.
Unknown
Why would I shut the. You invited me here. I'm just say it's a compliment. It's a compliment.
Big J Okerson
We love this game. We will play it.
Unknown
Steve Harvey isn't playing the Feud, dude. Okay?
Big J Okerson
It'd be a better show if he did.
Unknown
Oh, hell yeah.
Big J Okerson
Alex Trebek would be alive if he would have played that game. It would have kept him alive. Ooh, two votes for Jim, three votes oj.
Louis J. Gomez
I have Jim written down, but I.
Unknown
Want to win this book.
Louis J. Gomez
Lewis has hurt me so much before.
Unknown
In what way?
In the bussy.
Louis J. Gomez
This exact way.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, it hurt, but then I came inside of you and it slid a little bit easier.
Unknown
Oh, shit.
Louis J. Gomez
Wow, there's new people here.
Big J Okerson
Sorry.
Louis J. Gomez
All right, everyone's locked in. It's Chris Stanley motherfuck story.
Unknown
Story number one belongs to column Terrell.
Big J Okerson
God damn.
Unknown
The King.
Big J Okerson
Real fucking Irish. Irish savage, you said.
Louis J. Gomez
Why would he do that when he's getting married in hours?
Unknown
She's a good girl. She's cool.
Big J Okerson
So what happened? What happened, Kyle? Who was this? Who was this? This was animal that did this to you?
Unknown
No, it's this Mexican chick, right?
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, well, dude, you gotta double bag that if they're on the pill.
Unknown
But then while we were, I go, are you on the pill? And then she's like, what?
Big J Okerson
Okay?
Unknown
She goes, okay, Are you on the pill? And she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine. And I was like, okay. And then I came.
Louis J. Gomez
What's she gonna say? We breed like gremlins?
Unknown
Was it after midnight?
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
So then I came and she goes, did you just come with me? Oh, yeah. She goes, why would you do that? I'm not on the pill. And I go, you just said you're on the pill. She Goes, oh, I thought you asked me if I was on the pillow. And I was like, I don't care about your comfort. I was about to bust. And a Mexican girl with Irish jeans. That's crazy.
Louis J. Gomez
Did you ask her to queef it out?
Unknown
I walked her down to cvs, then Irish goodbye.
Big J Okerson
And then he kicked her in the stomach.
Unknown
Then I saw the prices, kicked her on the stomach, I brought her for.
Big J Okerson
A drink, I walked her down to CVS and I kicked her in the stomach and left.
Unknown
I'd ask someone to unlock the section.
Louis J. Gomez
God damn it.
Unknown
Anyway, early.
Big J Okerson
There we go.
Louis J. Gomez
Interesting first round. Alex, what are our points?
Unknown
Ridiculous.
On the scoreboard, with two points, Luis J. Gomez.
Louis J. Gomez
Lousing.
Unknown
And in the lead with three points, Column Terrell.
Early lead, early domination.
Big J Okerson
Yo, it's Louis J. Gomez and Big J Okerson bringing all the madness on Story wars, the sickest game show podcast around.
Louis J. Gomez
Here, here, here.
Big J Okerson
My old wallet was a disaster. Bulky, falling apart, giving me a crooked spine. Jay, what trash were you carrying loose?
Louis J. Gomez
My wallet was given to me by my grandfather. It was given to him by his father before the war. But that thing's a piece of shit compared to new Ridge Wallets.
Big J Okerson
It's an insane heirloom.
Louis J. Gomez
It means the world to me emotionally, but honest to God, it's a piece of shit. It makes me think my grandfather didn't care about me because now I have a new titanium black beast. Wow. That I got on the website for Ridge Wallet. It's my new go to bathroom site. So long, WorldStar. HelloRidge.com. now I stage jerking off to wallets. Slim as hell, holds 12 cards plus cash. Oh, I'm gonna finish right now. Made with badass aluminum and carbon fiber, over 50 styles. And that RFD blocking that we're always talking about? They got it. Digital pickpockets can suck our dicks.
Big J Okerson
Ridge actually gave me an idea with their carbon fiber airtag wallet. I'm gonna put an airtag attachment on everything I own. Ridge's lifetime warranty means it's the last wallet I'll ever buy. Their suitcase and key cases. Same sleek, tough vibe. With over 100,000 5 star reviews, you know it's legit. Look, the crowd's mumbling. They're so excited.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, there's a. There's a murmur in the room.
Big J Okerson
Jay, that air tag. Does that air tag give you a peace of mind or what?
Louis J. Gomez
Suck fuck yes, dude. Hell yes. No more freaking out at the bar Right now.
Big J Okerson
Just in time for Father's Day. Ridge is having a huge sale up to 40% off. Go to ridge.com warswithaz to grab the perfect gift for your dad and yourself. That's ridge.com warswithaz at checkout. Let them know that storywar sent you to support. Support the show. Give dad the upgrade he deserves.
Louis J. Gomez
All right, where were we?
Big J Okerson
All right, Alex, Story number two.
Unknown
Story number two. Me and my friends saw a car parked on the edge of an embankment of a canal. So we pushed it into the water and the car completely sank.
Louis J. Gomez
Embankment?
Unknown
Some standby me.
Louis J. Gomez
What the is.
Big J Okerson
That's not a mistake. That's being awesome. It's being a badass.
Unknown
It's general fun.
Can you just push a car? Can you just push a car in? Do cars move when you push them?
Louis J. Gomez
It says it's parked. It wasn't even abandoned. It was just parked.
Unknown
Yeah, there was a guy asleep and you sunk it.
Big J Okerson
I mean, this is a massive crime.
Unknown
You kill a guy.
Yeah.
Is Ted Kennedy on this panel?
Louis J. Gomez
If this is Louis, he's lying. I would have. He would have always talked about this.
Unknown
Sure.
Big J Okerson
I mean, if Jay did this. Me and Jay been podcasting together for 14 years now. I've known you for nearly 20 years.
Louis J. Gomez
If you sunk a car, if you.
Big J Okerson
Committed grand larceny via car sinking, I would have heard this story.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, we laughed. Also, I don't know what an embankment or a canal is.
Big J Okerson
Canal is water. An embankment. I think it's next to the water, Jay.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. Is that like a water wall in a canal? Who the fuck grew up near canals?
Unknown
Here, see to me column Ireland drunk.
Big J Okerson
They do have canals.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
I don't know if you can.
Isn't a canal. Am I crazy? Where they kind of. It's.
Big J Okerson
Oh, here's column.
Louis J. Gomez
It's right on the outside of your castle.
Unknown
I'm telling you what a canal. A canal is like man made water levels. So you can go up and down a canal. A fucking canal. Have none of you looked at the news? Panama Canal.
Stop saying canal.
I'm explaining it to you idiots.
No, you just keep saying canal over and over again.
Well, tell me what I'm about, Blankman.
Big J Okerson
One time I went to Chase bank on Canal Street.
Unknown
I'll admit that yes, I think it was column. And that Mexican girl was in the car that he blew a load.
Yeah, like Eminem's.
Louis J. Gomez
Ben, can it eat that?
Big J Okerson
I mean, could it be two column stories? And are these stories are all randomly generated, so this could easily be two column stories. Colin, will you tell me how many stories you've submitted today?
Unknown
I will not tell you anything.
Louis J. Gomez
You fucking warm up.
Unknown
Game started, man.
Lewis, can I ask you, is this you? Did you do this, Lewis?
Big J Okerson
Me?
Unknown
It says.
Big J Okerson
Oh, no.
Unknown
The problem is it says me. Me and my friends. So that rules out Louis.
Louis J. Gomez
Lewis wouldn't say. That's true. Lewis wouldn't say embankment. He maybe grew up near some canals. That's what I'm thinking. Lewis was.
Unknown
Lewis is an author in Jersey and.
Louis J. Gomez
Upstate New York and that's one thing. Florentine also is New Jersey. Right? You grew up in Jersey.
Unknown
Jersey.
Big J Okerson
Are there canals in Jersey?
Louis J. Gomez
Jersey in Florida.
Unknown
There's canals everywhere.
Louis J. Gomez
Very canal place.
Unknown
Someone who pushed a car into a canal would say, there's no canals in New Jersey.
Chris, where did you grow up?
I don't have a license. Definitely not me. Queens.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, there's no canals or embankments there.
Unknown
There's the East River.
Big J Okerson
I really wish I knew what an embankment was.
Unknown
I think it's just the side of a canal.
I think it's the side of a canal.
Like a river bank.
Louis J. Gomez
It does sound like.
Unknown
Yeah, it's like the edge, I guess, like right here.
Oh, it's Jim. It's Jim.
Yeah. It's like this.
Jim knows exactly what's going. But I feel like Lewis might have put in embankment as a. As a word to trow you.
Louis J. Gomez
You think he would have looked up water wall on a thesaurus?
Big J Okerson
Yes.
Unknown
Side of river.
Or maybe Alex changed the wording a little to throw everyone off.
Louis J. Gomez
She can do that. She can do.
Big J Okerson
But she wouldn't have. I mean, that's such a specific word. Somebody wrote this.
Louis J. Gomez
Alex doesn't know what embankment means.
Big J Okerson
This does sound like an Irish sentence. Colin, can you read this out loud?
Unknown
Me and me friends saw. Saw a car parked on the edge of an embar. A canal. So we pushed it into the water and the car completely sank.
Big J Okerson
I mean, he read that really well.
Unknown
Diddly diddly d. Yeah.
Big J Okerson
That'S how you find a leprechaun.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm gonna get it. Go.
Big J Okerson
This, this is a hard.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm going Florentine. Because he grew up around so much. Possible canal.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, but hold on, Stanley, were you a degenerate as a kid? Because this is a crazy thing to do.
Louis J. Gomez
My guess would be I would, I.
Big J Okerson
Assume a real bag.
Unknown
It wasn't until high school I turned.
Louis J. Gomez
Into a piece of.
Unknown
Otherwise I was a lonely little boy.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I don't think this was middle schoolers that did this.
Unknown
Seems like a.
Big J Okerson
Great school. Grade school. You think 10 year old kids are pushing a car into a river?
Louis J. Gomez
If there Was want to see a body? You guys want to make a body?
Unknown
I only lived in Florida for two years during high school, so just.
Louis J. Gomez
Well, you had to get out because they were going to catch you for pushing this car in this. In the canal.
Big J Okerson
What is the statute of limitations on a crime of this magnitude?
Louis J. Gomez
It was. It was a Ferrari or something. This is crazy, this Ferrari.
Big J Okerson
I mean, part of me thinks it's Colin, but I'm just gonna. I'm gonna put my. I'm gonna put my vote in for Chris Stanley.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, good luck with that. It's column Lewis or go Jim again. I went with Jim. If Lewis never told me he buried someone's car in the ocean or in the. In an embankment canal, he would have.
Unknown
Never told you that before.
Louis J. Gomez
If he never told me that, he. Then it's a made up story. He was in a rush today and he just made up a fake story.
Big J Okerson
It's not even a mistake, Alex. All of our answers are in story number two.
Unknown
Belongs to Jim Florentine.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
He was. He was such a liar.
Fucking knew it.
Jim's a liar.
Big J Okerson
Florentine heard AC DC come on the rodeo. He's like, let's fucking do something so nice. It's time to break some stuff.
Unknown
Now we know Florentines, what happened here.
It was down in Florida.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
Me and my friends are going like a county fair and we had a park like a mile away. And all these cars were like on the side of the road. And it was this car, it was like right on the embankment. It was like leaning into the water almost. It was like three of us. And we just went like this.
Louis J. Gomez
He was asking for it.
Unknown
We just pushed it. It flipped over and it just went underwater.
Big J Okerson
What type of car was it?
Unknown
It was like a little like Fiat, like a Ford Fiat.
Big J Okerson
Was it a decent car?
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
Sorry. He parked there. We didn't even tell you. You want to do it? We just saw it like, you know what? And all three and we just kept walking.
Louis J. Gomez
How many. How many tow truck places and police do you call before you even think? Maybe to the bottom of the canal.
Unknown
Next to the embankment?
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, I thought we were right on the embankment. We should have been fine.
Big J Okerson
And did you guys run or did you just stand there?
Unknown
No, we just walked right into the fair. Got some cotton candy and some.
Big J Okerson
You ruined somebody's life.
Louis J. Gomez
That's what insurance is for.
Unknown
Yeah. It's insured.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
They don't know where the car went. They thought it was a magic train.
Unknown
He probably thought it got stolen. He didn't know it was under because it was completely underwater.
Louis J. Gomez
By the way. What he didn't know is that that guy told his kids to wait here. He'll be right back with some funnel cake.
Unknown
Yeah, that was Susan Smith.
Louis J. Gomez
She didn't do it.
Big J Okerson
Oh. All right, Alex, what are our points at?
Unknown
All right on the scoreboard, with two points each. Lewis J. Gomez, Big J Okerson, Jim Florentine and Chris Stanley.
Dead heat.
Wow.
In the lead with three points. Column Turl.
This is the game.
The people's champion.
Louis J. Gomez
It's a game for you.
Unknown
We're in the lead.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, it's a game.
Unknown
Really playing it up.
Big J Okerson
Alex.
Unknown
I'm freaking the fuck out.
Louis J. Gomez
This is Chris Stanley's freaking the fuck out. Alex. Story number three.
Unknown
Story number three. I thought there was an entire class of children on the Challenger spaceship when it exploded. I was corrected decades after it happened.
Louis J. Gomez
This could be bad information making its way over the pond to column. Or this could just be a Lewis thing. I.
Big J Okerson
There was a teacher on it, right?
Unknown
Is that what I was a teacher on it?
Louis J. Gomez
Christy McCullough? Yeah. She blew up while all of her students watched on tv and myself included. I watched it. It was funny at the time. At the time? No, because it was crazy that it was like all this build up to it. I was like, it went completely wrong.
Unknown
Seems scarring.
Louis J. Gomez
Sure. Look, maybe it's the reason I can't come unless I kill an animal.
Unknown
How wouldn't you have heard about this for decades?
What.
Big J Okerson
What year was this?
Unknown
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
80 something.
Unknown
87.
Big J Okerson
I was five years old in 87.
Unknown
I watch it on TV. So it's not me.
Big J Okerson
This is. This is Big J or Florentine. No, these are.
Louis J. Gomez
It's Louis. Yep.
Unknown
Why do you say Louis?
Big J Okerson
Big Jay's getting nervous because I mentioned his name. And immediately he wants to.
Louis J. Gomez
Because, Because I. Because I'm completely aware from day one that it was just. Just the teacher got the one ship on. That's what you would say. Lewis and column. It's one of those two. Column, don't drag me column because he's foreign. They don't teach him about space travel there. And Lewis, because Lewis is young enough that like, he may have just always taken the information is like, oh, a teacher in her class died. And then not long ago, someone's like, no, I.
Big J Okerson
And I, I, I swear to God, I, I just recently even. You could have told me this happened in 1961. You could have told me it happened in 19 Apollo 85.
Unknown
I had never even heard of this.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, this is. This isn't calm. This is Big J right now. He's getting very nervous. He's starting to throw out accusations right away. As soon as I accused him, I.
Louis J. Gomez
Watched this in a classroom.
Unknown
Dude, you don't pay attention to the news. I think it's you.
Louis J. Gomez
It was TV1. We were forced to watch it in a classroom.
Unknown
You don't know.
Louis J. Gomez
And then you turn the TV on because it exploded in the Wire.
Unknown
If you watch it, you knew who was on it.
Louis J. Gomez
It.
Big J Okerson
Stanley, how old are you?
Unknown
I'm 41.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, we're. I think we're too young to have, like, decades later.
Louis J. Gomez
Lewis is panicking right now. Let me do a little timeline work.
Big J Okerson
I didn't. We. In fact, we just saw.
Louis J. Gomez
Wait, so Kyle Reese had to be born for Terminator to even happen?
Unknown
It's a paradox.
Louis J. Gomez
Dude, he came back. What? It's Lewis. He's a lion. Puerto Rican piece of. And you heard it here first.
Unknown
Jay's going, too.
Louis J. Gomez
Now, look, these girls are gonna leave. They're so upset with the way you're behaving.
Unknown
You're going with J.
Louis J. Gomez
Sorry, ladies. I'm sorry. You gotta deal with a lion piece of like this? You just come to enjoy yourself at a comedy show. My apologies.
Big J Okerson
Do you want to. Big Jay's big tells. Is he? When he starts freaking out and talking a mile a minute.
Louis J. Gomez
When. This is not me at all. I want you to remember this in the future because Lewis says the same about me every week, and he's never consistent with me.
Big J Okerson
I've won this game more than anybody in the history of the game.
Louis J. Gomez
You play it more than anybody.
Big J Okerson
And I'm terrible just as much as you.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm not good at it.
Unknown
Jay, how old were you?
We gotta ask.
Jay, how old were you when you watched us in class?
Louis J. Gomez
What year was it?
Unknown
I think 87.
Louis J. Gomez
If it's 87, I was 10. Sounds right, but we watched it in a classroom.
Unknown
Fifth grade.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, but I remember the whole thing was. It was a contest. And a teacher. It was just a teacher. Got to go. I didn't think it was a bunch of students. It was something.
Unknown
She didn't send in a bunch of shit from the back of us.
Big J Okerson
I mean, the story very clearly states they watched it live back then, and then decades later, they figured out what happened.
Louis J. Gomez
You think I was. Why? How's that saying that I thought there was. You just says they thought there was an entire class.
Big J Okerson
And I was corrected decades after it happened. It's only decades after it happened.
Louis J. Gomez
Louis. It's like when you say, I thought there was only 4 million Jews killed.
Big J Okerson
In the Holocaust when there was only 100,000. You're right.
Unknown
Jesus Christ.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm Jewish. It was like 150.
Unknown
Oh, yeah.
I'm like 20%.
Big J Okerson
Chris Stanley says jay smart.
Louis J. Gomez
Really?
Big J Okerson
I'm saying Jay.
Louis J. Gomez
You locked it.
Big J Okerson
Column.
Louis J. Gomez
Column.
Unknown
I switched it off.
Louis J. Gomez
Your hand away. Jim, Jim, wait. Before you take your hand off of it, I'm telling you, this is definitely not me. Dude, it's. Ah, shit. You fell for Lewis's bullshit. He gave him points.
Big J Okerson
You don't gotta act anymore. All the votes are in.
Louis J. Gomez
You think it's me still?
Big J Okerson
I still think it's you.
Louis J. Gomez
If it's me, I will fucking take your cock in my ass in front of this audience. You can enter me dry.
Big J Okerson
Why didn't you say, hold on. If it's me, I will. And I mean this. I will let the entire panel gang fuck me.
Louis J. Gomez
Nah, it's not you. Oh, really? That's not me There somebody just cleaning.
Unknown
Is that what we're here for anyway?
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, it's Chris Stanley. He still thinks that his kids died in that. Fuck, Alex. Everybody's in shit. Who the fuck is this?
Unknown
This story belongs to Chris Stanley.
Big J Okerson
I almost did it.
Unknown
Motherfuckers.
Damn.
Big J Okerson
I told you it wasn't me.
Unknown
You two are too busy.
Louis J. Gomez
I told you it wasn't me. And you swore to everybody it was.
Big J Okerson
Stanley just cleaned the up.
Unknown
That's what I like. Also, the behind that story is I'm an idiot. That's all.
Louis J. Gomez
That's the whole story.
Unknown
Bother to look into things.
Big J Okerson
When did you. When did you hear this story for the first time?
Unknown
I was so. I. I was corrected for the first time on the air when I was about 38. Bennington. I was like, man, it was also a shame all those kids died. And then they were like, what are you talking about? Oh, I also thought San Francisco was an island up until a couple of years, too.
Is this.
It's not good. Geography or space?
Louis J. Gomez
Do you know one of those.
Unknown
That could be wise.
Louis J. Gomez
You know, they knew that Christy McCullough had dandruff.
Unknown
How?
Louis J. Gomez
Because they found her head and shoulders in the wreckage.
Unknown
Jesus, that's. I'm not clapping, Rip. It's inaccurate.
Big J Okerson
I liked it.
Louis J. Gomez
It's not. Alex.
Big J Okerson
You guys, after three stories, what is our point spread at all?
Unknown
Right on the scoreboard with two points each. Lis J. Gomez, Big J Okerson and Jim Florentine.
Louis J. Gomez
Respectable. Respectable.
Big J Okerson
Oh, it's early.
Unknown
In second place with three points. Column Turl.
Louis J. Gomez
It's not over. Wow.
Unknown
For you.
And in first place, with six points, Chris Stanley.
Thank you.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. Let me tell you something.
Unknown
Thank you so much.
Louis J. Gomez
This is all for you. Me and Chris drove down here together and I told him this is his first time doing the game. I said, by story number three, you're going to competitively really want to win this game. And I can see now you're getting that fucking itch.
Unknown
All I want is that fucking financial book, buddy.
Louis J. Gomez
Everybody wants more money. When life throws unexpected expenses your way. Suddenly Frugal by Lee Ingram is the handbook you'll wish you had. From renegotiating your cable bill to cutting your grocery tab in half. Ingram blends personal anecdotes with tried and true strategies for saving money. Fast Protect for families.
Unknown
Perfect.
Louis J. Gomez
Perfect. For families, couples, and solo budgeters. This book shows you that frugality doesn't mean giving up what you love. It just means being smarter about how you spend.
Big J Okerson
Wow.
Louis J. Gomez
Chris Stanley, you already got a place for this in your mantle. I know you do.
Unknown
I don't have a checking account.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, okay.
Unknown
Let's get him a book. Let's get him a book on the challenger so he knows what really happened.
Louis J. Gomez
If we really need to hit his weak spots. For sure.
Unknown
It's a lot less sad than I thought it was.
Big J Okerson
It was.
Louis J. Gomez
It is funny when you finally goes, oh, it's just a teacher, just adults.
Unknown
What's the big deal? Yeah. How old is she? She's halfway.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, all volunteer adults suck dick.
Unknown
Bullshit.
Big J Okerson
All right, let's get real, fellas. Have your balls ever stung so bad that you're dodging dogs on the street? That's where Mando Whole Body Deodorant saves the day. Jay, spill it. When did Mando save your ass?
Louis J. Gomez
Yo, Louis. Last summer I was at a comedy fest, sweating like a pig, and my grundle was screaming for help. Popped on some mambo bourbon, leather, solid stick pits, balls, even the feet. Boom. I was fresher than a menthol cigarette. I thought I just might mask the funk, but this stuff stops the odor cold. I'm a believer, man. Zero stink even after 12 hours.
Big J Okerson
Hell, yeah. I had a Story wars taping where I was running around like a maniac before the show. Mando Clover wood sprays on my pits, thigh folds, and, yeah, my butt crack. Crowd laughs kept me smelling like a champ. Damp. I figured it'd be some weak ass deodorant, but it's doctor made. Blocks order for 72 hours and beats a shower. My confidence Is just through the roof. No whiff checks needed. Jay, you tried that pro sport scent yet?
Louis J. Gomez
Well, not yet, but I'm all in for this starter pack. Stick cream, free wipes, and a mini wash. It's like a spa for my Mando.
Big J Okerson
Is safe for everywhere. Pits, balls, belly button, you name it. Baking soda free, paraben free, and that bourbon leather vibe. Oh, pure swagger.
Louis J. Gomez
Mando is in America's number one whole body deodorant. Story wars fans get $5 off the starter pack, which is over 40% off. Head over to shopmando.com use the code WARS with a Z W a R Z at checkout. That's S H O P M A N D O shopmando.com code wars with a Z. Make sure you tell them Story wars sent you to support the show. Smell fresher, stay drier, own it with Mando. All right, let's get back into it. It. Alex. Story number four.
Unknown
Story number four. One time I bought a sandwich at a deli, and it was 100.
Big J Okerson
Big J.
Louis J. Gomez
Everyone's bought a sandwich at a deli.
Unknown
If it was stolen, it was Louis.
Louis J. Gomez
It's true. If it was stolen, it was Louis. And if it was corned beef, it was column.
Unknown
Oh, come on.
One time I bought a sandwich at a deli, and I was 100% positive. I gave the guy behind the counter a $20 bill to pay for it. He said, I didn't. We got into a huge argument. After leaving the deli, I realized the money was in my pocket the whole time.
Louis J. Gomez
Alex, I should have stopped your reading halfway. It's Louis. If everybody wants to write it down, it's Louis. This is fighting in a deli.
Big J Okerson
You do this, this every time.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, but this stinks of you. Louis, come on.
Big J Okerson
I mean, look, I will tell you.
Louis J. Gomez
Right now, he's been doing this. He's been given one that's obviously him. And then being like, why would I put a fight in a deli for my fault? Reason.
Big J Okerson
He.
Unknown
He has you. He has you by the balls. Jay.
Big J Okerson
Jay. Jay thinks just watching every story, he goes, it's Louis.
Louis J. Gomez
I guarantee it.
Unknown
He's hurt you so many times.
Louis J. Gomez
Also, before we done discussing, he's doing.
Unknown
The double, triple block that he did last week.
Louis J. Gomez
Before we're done discussing it, though, I will also tell you why it's not Louis, and then it will be him. Him. Sure.
Unknown
Well, but now. Now, Jay, you grew up in South Philly, so you weren't around.
Louis J. Gomez
West Philly.
Unknown
West Phil. You weren't around Del Wasn't in Ireland. So it's.
Big J Okerson
What do you think, New York for 20 years.
Unknown
You guys, I don't have sandwiches.
Queens and Bron.
Big J Okerson
Hold on. Time out. Wait a minute. I. First of all, I grew up in Rockland county where there wasn't deli spice sandwiches like that.
Unknown
Rockland County. Oh, God.
Big J Okerson
Oh.
Unknown
Jeff Bezos, over.
Big J Okerson
But everyone here has been in New York City. Everyone in here has been in New York City for two decades.
Louis J. Gomez
That is a good argument that we've all been here long enough to have this story. We've all lived in New York when $20 in our pocket meant something.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I mean, look, I've been into many arguments in delis, but I mean.
Louis J. Gomez
I'll tell you this one.
Big J Okerson
You would have heard this from me.
Louis J. Gomez
I think I did. In one way or another. I've heard this story.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, I think you've heard it in your own head because it's your story.
Unknown
This is.
Louis J. Gomez
You want to think that, but buddy, take out deli worker with Uber driver with guy at the counter to thing or hotel worker.
Big J Okerson
Jay, these are all your stories, too. You have as many freak outs as I do with workers.
Louis J. Gomez
I am slightly better than you. I fly off the handle a little bit less and I'm a little more reasonable. I'm a little less trained. It's a fight and a little less aggressive.
Unknown
What kind of sandwich was it?
Grilled chicken.
Louis J. Gomez
I know what a sandwich it was.
Unknown
How do we know?
Louis J. Gomez
Sunny and aunt. This is Sonny and Annie's. Dude, this is you.
Big J Okerson
Sunny and Annie's. I'm banned from.
Louis J. Gomez
I know. Exactly my point. What? He's banned.
Unknown
You're banned from a deli.
Louis J. Gomez
The best sandwich deli in New York City. He's not allowed to go.
Big J Okerson
It's a great sandwich, Del, but it's not because I. I didn't. I got into an argument about money. It was because the woman called me racist. Because I started going, all right.
Louis J. Gomez
No, they both had a point.
Big J Okerson
That's not what happened.
Unknown
Was she Asian?
Big J Okerson
Why did I get banned?
Louis J. Gomez
You had to hear. No, you had.
Big J Okerson
It's happened so many times.
Louis J. Gomez
If you hear how she sounded, you realize he was just doing a dead on a prayer. He goes, you sound like this. If she wasn't a cunt, she would have been like, that doesn't sound like me.
Big J Okerson
Very good.
Louis J. Gomez
You know the world society.
Big J Okerson
Oh, no, no.
Louis J. Gomez
Woke. The woke Mafia.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah.
Big J Okerson
Alex, you remember what happened? I. I kind of do.
Unknown
Yeah. You needed to pay an extra 25 cents for a bag and they wouldn't give it to you for free, even though you had paid for your.
Big J Okerson
But that's not what happened. No, no, I'll tell you.
Louis J. Gomez
So they.
Big J Okerson
They said, hold on. No, no, no. It's more specific. So, no, you had to spend a minimum of $10 on your credit card. And my sandwich was like nine bucks. So I was like, all right, I guess I'll get you. I was like, I'll get gum or whatever.
Louis J. Gomez
97 cents.
Big J Okerson
So no, listen. No, I paid for it. And then. And then she was like, do you want a bag?
Louis J. Gomez
I was like, yeah.
Big J Okerson
She's like, that'll be 25 cents. I was like, but I only have a card. She was like, got to spend another $10. And I lost my shit.
Louis J. Gomez
Didn't you do a fucking.
Big J Okerson
Oh, yeah, the shelf of everything.
Louis J. Gomez
How could this not be?
Big J Okerson
Louis, I'm letting you know it wasn't. Yeah, I. I've had. I've had some incidents, but I will tell you right now, I do believe that this is Jay. You've also.
Louis J. Gomez
You think it's me. That's why I think it's you. Because you're just saying that.
Big J Okerson
When Jay says.
Louis J. Gomez
I thought maybe you had a real reason.
Big J Okerson
Non stop talking. What he told talks over and over and over again. It's him. He's trying to hide.
Louis J. Gomez
He just told us the entire story about Sunny and Annie's.
Big J Okerson
You won't shut up.
Unknown
See, now Chris Stanley's quiet and he grew up in Queens. He's around a lot of delis too, so.
Oh, so many delis.
Louis J. Gomez
But this is Lewis, as every story is.
Big J Okerson
Have you voted me for every story?
Louis J. Gomez
I'm not wrong. Lose has done all these things. He just didn't submit the victim.
Big J Okerson
I do make a lot of mistakes. I will say.
Unknown
Here's the. The issue is you two got just going back and forth on each other this whole time. These little assassins are sitting here inside.
Louis J. Gomez
No, it's why we're losing.
Unknown
That's how we got the last.
Louis J. Gomez
Get your head in the game.
Unknown
Dude, look at Jim. Not Florentine hasn't said anything.
Louis J. Gomez
Look how pouty those girls are. They hate this.
Unknown
Come on, girls. You'll learn to love it.
Louis J. Gomez
Through time. You'll learn to love it. Jay.
Unknown
I think it's Jay. I think this shit's a red. I think it's a rain. It could be Chris Harry.
Big J Okerson
I think it's Jay as well. I just. I just know I. I don't know these other.
Louis J. Gomez
I would have checked my. I'm a reasonable human being. Lewis just. Lewis just remembers. I remember giving you $20, and I'll destroy this place.
Unknown
You have allegiance. Skanks tattoo on your neck.
Don't. Are you changing your answer?
Louis J. Gomez
I don't have a good argument against that, but if you want to vote, we both. But you're probably giving Louis a lot of points or Chris. Stanley, you know Chris voted me, so when it's not you, when someone says it's you, you know it's them.
Big J Okerson
Chris did go Jay very quickly.
Unknown
I chose Jim because he didn't say much, but it was between you two, and he just changed his answer. So it's obviously not Jim. Why would he change his answer?
Big J Okerson
There's no reason at this point. Changes.
Unknown
He knows it's. Although it's got to be Chris.
Louis J. Gomez
He is a thespian.
Unknown
Would.
What does that mean?
Would Chris get two questions in a row?
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
It'S fine.
Unknown
It's random. But you think that. What are the odds of him getting two in a row?
Big J Okerson
It happens. It happened a couple weeks ago here.
Unknown
It's like the roulette table, bro.
Big J Okerson
But I don't see Chris. All right, whatever. You. I already put my vote in.
Unknown
I wouldn't have thought this was a mistake. I would have thought I got a free sandwich. I'm overweight.
Louis J. Gomez
If it's Jim, that was way overkill.
Unknown
Yeah, nuts if it was Jim.
Louis J. Gomez
Alex, everybody's answers are in you guys.
Unknown
That story obviously belongs to Louis J. Gomez.
God damn it. Too obvious.
You too. That was. No, because that was two rounds in a row. You were saying, Alex.
Big J Okerson
I was like, I. I put that one in. I was like, she's not gonna put that one in. It's so obviously me. I'll just throw that story. Yeah. It was a deli somewhere in the West Village, and it was another incident. Not only did it. The. When the argument ensued, it turned into me grabbing candy off the shelves in front of him and fucking throwing him at his face. He started throwing food at me. I'm like, fuck you, you piece of. Like you. But people cleared the store, and I left, and I was like, you. It's coming. I had my sandwich, and then I reached my pocket. The 20 bill was there the whole time. The whole time it was there.
Unknown
You're a friend to the working man. That's you.
Louis J. Gomez
Have you guys never met this guy?
Unknown
Did you go back to the deli and give them.
Big J Okerson
No, no, no. That one I never went back to.
Unknown
Yeah, you two sitting here all silent, all sweet.
Big J Okerson
Damn beautiful.
Louis J. Gomez
What are our scores? The halfway mark.
Unknown
All right. In last place with two points, Jim Florentine.
Louis J. Gomez
A smattering applause is worse than none.
Unknown
In fourth place with three points, Colm Turrell.
It ain't over.
Louis J. Gomez
Come on.
Unknown
People shout the.
You what?
In third place with four points, Big J Okerson. In second place with five points, Lewis J. Gomez.
Whoa, look at that.
And in the lead with six points, Chris Stanley.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
This. I mean this, this. In 50 some shows that I've won only four, maybe even three. This might be the closest contested first half of the game.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, it's very close.
Louis J. Gomez
Am I right, Alex?
Unknown
My financial future rests on this.
Louis J. Gomez
I know. You're goddamn right.
Unknown
Dude, I need that book.
Louis J. Gomez
You have been fucking yourself so hard with your grocery bill.
Big J Okerson
Well, this is the half point of the game. At this point. We'll go around and everyone will do some play plugs real quick before we get into our second half. Colin, what are you plugging, my friend?
Unknown
Oh, check out my podcast, Fight podcast with Drew Dunn and Lev Fur. And the people love it, right?
Big J Okerson
Yes.
Unknown
And also, let me see the date here just announced in this very room. I'm going to be recording my next stand up special on October 23rd. That's Thursday, October 23rd, in New York Comedy Club in Midtown. So two shows for that and everyone's gonna be there, right? Right. Thank you.
The Bennington show on Sirius XM airs weekdays noon to 2 East. And Faction Talk 103 right before the bonfire. And High Society Radio, my podcast, that's available on YouTube, Gas Digital and you can follow stanman42069. 426 people say that you. A lot of people say it's me, but who knows?
Louis J. Gomez
Who knows?
Unknown
It's crazy.
Florentine, my latest comedy special, you can't Please Them All. Amazon prime and podcast. Everybody is awful.
Louis J. Gomez
Fuck yeah, Big J. BigJComedy.com for all my dates. Got Long island coming up. Sacramento, San Diego, Tacoma, Charlotte. Look for a city near you. And of course, listen to the bonfire five days a week. Faction Talk, SiriusXM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. And of course, the flagship show right here at Guest Digital, the legendary legion of Skanks.
Big J Okerson
Come see me on the road June 26th. I'm gonna be in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, June 22nd. 7th, Long Beach, Mississippi, June 28th, Mobile, Alabama. Then we're doing a live story, wars in New Jersey at the Dojo of comedy on June 29th. Sunday night. Just one show. Atlantic City coming up in the beginning of July. And then I'm Taping my next special in Tampa, Florida. The tickets for the special are sold out, but you can still get tickets for the Thursday and Friday before for side splitters. So come check me out and check out all the other pods we do. You know, the regs, Legion of Skanks. And last but not least, my book. You know, speaking of stories, my book, uh, Knives and Spoons is available for pre sale right now on Amazon. Comes out December 2nd. You guys can buy it right now and that's that.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
Oh, and if you love the show, you should know that story wars comes out before it goes anywhere else, ad free and uncensored to gas digital.com every Monday night is when we premiere the show. If you guys don't want to wait for Thursdays, you can get it at Gas Digital. Use the promo code war.com. there's also an on demand library. There's maybe 20 episodes that aren't available on YouTube or anywhere else anymore. And plus there's thousands of hours of amazing other podcasts that are all uncensored and ad free. GasDigital.com, use that promo code WAR. Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
All right, we've reached our second half of the show, our final four stories column. Jim, you guys are probably feeling like you're fucked over. It's too late to climb back into this thing with your piddly little hilarious, pathetic scores.
Unknown
But.
Louis J. Gomez
But the good news is, for the final four stories, we of course move on to double point.
Big J Okerson
What.
Unknown
Should I do?
Louis J. Gomez
This great atmosphere, which is obviously pretty self explanatory, but if you didn't get it, that means whereas before, if you fooled somebody, you got one point and if you guessed correctly, you got two points. Now that moves to double points.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Unknown
Is there ever a triple point situation?
Big J Okerson
Don't be a ass.
Louis J. Gomez
That's crazy. That's.
Unknown
That's gluttony.
Big J Okerson
The wrong.
Unknown
Look at me.
Louis J. Gomez
What are we, the Family Feud?
Unknown
It's a real show.
Louis J. Gomez
I don't got time to be kissing everybody's goddamn girlfriend.
Big J Okerson
Alex. Second half, story number five.
Unknown
Story number five, I grabbed a guy's dick to get two girls to have a foursome. The girls only hooked up with each other.
Louis J. Gomez
Does that mean the guy's. Lewis? Lewis.
Unknown
Wait, isn't.
Wasn't this in like American Pie or something? Isn't this a sequel?
This was American Pie.
Yeah, American Pie, the sequel.
Big J Okerson
One time I fucked a pie because it was warm.
Louis J. Gomez
Can I vote for Jason Biggs?
Big J Okerson
One time we had a foreign exchange student and we hit a camera in a room Nice. Did you guys not see American Pie?
Louis J. Gomez
Okay, again, Dare I tell you, Jim Florentine was a. Is a cocksmith. Yeah.
Unknown
I wouldn't grab another guy's. That's the difference.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
Jim is from that. That era where that was gay.
Big J Okerson
But here's the thing.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, yeah. You know what? You might be right.
Unknown
Some old school thinking.
It's old school Jersey.
Louis J. Gomez
Right? That's fair. That's fair.
Big J Okerson
I don't want to keep on going back to Big J, but I will.
Louis J. Gomez
You do.
Big J Okerson
But I'm gonna say, though, Big J, at one time in his life would have grabbed a guy's dick to get.
Louis J. Gomez
One time.
Unknown
He grabbed my dick on the way down here.
Hello.
Big J Okerson
Get in there.
Louis J. Gomez
Look, no one's even having a. Ooh, nice balls.
Big J Okerson
Yeah.
Unknown
Hand stuff.
Big J Okerson
No, but I'm just saying Big J does have like that Big J. And I'll. I'll throw myself into this category. At one time, we were just desperate scumbags and would do anything to get. And I could see these girls, including getting stick and we'll you. And then it just didn't happen. Sure.
Louis J. Gomez
I mean, that does track.
Unknown
I'm curious. I can't wait till we find out who this is, because I wonder if it was up.
Louis J. Gomez
Probably me or Lewis.
Unknown
Yeah, probably you guys. If it was just grabbing bear cockskin.
Or through pants, obviously it was over the pants.
I don't know. We don't know until we find out the chance.
Big J Okerson
It was me and Big J. I was the guy who's.
Louis J. Gomez
Then we just sat there jerking each other off while these chicks. Each other.
Unknown
Column's got his sunglasses on. He's trying to hide his eyes.
Louis J. Gomez
This could be Column.
Unknown
Could be Jim.
Louis J. Gomez
It also could be Jim. Jim again. Dude, slayed.
Unknown
Come on. You think I'm gonna grab another guy?
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. I don't. You don't strike me as that. Yeah, you don't strike me.
Unknown
Is that even something you would want, Jay?
Big J Okerson
Sure.
Unknown
Like.
Louis J. Gomez
Handful of and two chicks.
Unknown
And then.
Louis J. Gomez
Clearly I'm gluttonous.
Unknown
A foursome, two girls and another guy.
Louis J. Gomez
And what happened? The guys just sit there talking.
Big J Okerson
You've never done that? Like.
Unknown
No, I'm saying I have. I wouldn't have Jay, me and a.
Louis J. Gomez
Buddy, just watching two girls hook up. I've never done that. No. Is that a thing?
Unknown
You are a voyeur, though.
Louis J. Gomez
You've done that multiple times.
Big J Okerson
No, I've said I've had foursomes.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, four. What? You didn't say. I was talking about the girl. What do you do when the girls are only hooked. It says only the girls hooked up with each other. What do the dudes do?
Big J Okerson
Just start kissing each other?
Louis J. Gomez
Do you guys high five? A bunch. Oh, dude, that's how I would eat her pussy.
Big J Okerson
I mean, look, two girls hooking up in front of us is better than nothing happening at all.
Louis J. Gomez
No doubt.
Unknown
Play Candy Crush. Hang out.
I'm going to go with Jay here. Jay hasn't had a story yet, and this sounds like something he would do.
Like what you're fucking saying?
It's a dangerous game.
Big J Okerson
Oh.
Louis J. Gomez
One guy tells the world he loves grabbing guys dicks, and now I'm the dick grab guy.
Unknown
I'm just saying.
Louis J. Gomez
Really, Louis?
Unknown
It's a scarlet letter.
I'm thinking the guy with the painted nails on the panel grabbed the dick.
Big J Okerson
Whoa.
Unknown
I'm pretty mad. I think this is.
Louis J. Gomez
I don't want to go fools. Every one of you.
Big J Okerson
Big J. Oh. Is my vote.
Louis J. Gomez
I want that makes me. Jesus effing Christ.
Unknown
Yeah, I. I didn't.
Big J Okerson
I think.
Louis J. Gomez
What?
Unknown
I think it's Lewis, but I didn't want to feel. I didn't want to be left out.
Your Reputation precedes you, Mr. Oerson.
Louis J. Gomez
I don't think it's Louis. I'm Jay.
Big J Okerson
I think there's no need for all the song and dance, Jay.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, there is. I need points.
Unknown
Just tell us about the dick you grabbed. Say it.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm going call him.
Unknown
No, you're way wrong.
Big J Okerson
We got to do Presti is now. He's so bummed.
Louis J. Gomez
Someone just wrecked shop and I hope it's Colum.
Unknown
Alex, that story belongs to Big J.
Big J Okerson
Over.
Louis J. Gomez
It does. Oh, I guess that was me.
Unknown
Feels good.
Thank God. Group tank.
Feels as good as group grabbing a dip.
Big J Okerson
And that, by the way, was double points.
Unknown
Yeah.
Big J Okerson
This is what we do.
Unknown
My favorite.
Big J Okerson
So, Jay, I mean, how much more to the story could there be? Who was the guy? Was it Kurt Metzger? No.
Unknown
Was it bear dick, though?
Louis J. Gomez
Jim Jeffries. I Down Under. We were in South Africa and we had our chicks with us and the girls were like. We were trying to get our girlfriends to hook up with each other and they were like.
Big J Okerson
Wait, they were your girlfriends? Yeah. You were treating your girlfriends like road.
Unknown
In Africa, of all places in Africa?
Apartheid.
Louis J. Gomez
Well, you can't just fuck strangers in Africa, dudes.
Big J Okerson
True.
Unknown
Going back to the AIDS thing.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. Yeah. So no. And then the girls, everyone was drunk as shit and they did like the. If you grab his dick, we'll do it. So he pulled his dick out and I grabbed it in the middle and I was like. Like this.
Unknown
Oh, so it was bear.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shaft.
Unknown
I'm glad I asked.
Louis J. Gomez
Full shaft. Hard.
Unknown
No, it got there.
Louis J. Gomez
No. Yeah, not in the beginning.
Unknown
That's nothing. Boring.
Louis J. Gomez
No, it was soft but you know, an uncut foreign wiener and God bless him. And we went back. And then we went back to.
Unknown
Yeah, getting married. Planning a people getting married.
Two weeks.
Louis J. Gomez
And then we went back to the room and the girls around and then we were like, so now we'll get involved. And they were like, nah, it's crazy. And we just. It was.
Big J Okerson
But they were your girlfriends.
Louis J. Gomez
Wait, you guys.
Unknown
You guys left.
Big J Okerson
You were told you were trying to girlfriend swap.
Louis J. Gomez
Thought we were.
Unknown
What did the girls.
Louis J. Gomez
The guys definitely thought we were.
Big J Okerson
You're doing a swap?
Louis J. Gomez
We thought so the girls probably like.
Unknown
You guys are gay.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. I think the girl. I think they never. I think they never snap back from her. How fast I grabbed his upon the suggestion and somehow. That's obviously me.
Big J Okerson
Weird.
Louis J. Gomez
Alex, the points please.
Unknown
All right. On the scoreboard, in last place with four points, Big J.
Louis J. Gomez
Come on, really? Everyone knew that gay story was me and I got fired. Down to last place.
Unknown
Wow.
Big J Okerson
Boom.
Unknown
In fourth place with six points, Jim Florentine.
Louis J. Gomez
All right. Moving up.
Unknown
In third place with seven points, Colum Turrell. In second place with nine points, Louis Lewis J. Gomez. And in the lead with 10 points, Chris Stanley.
Louis J. Gomez
Thank you.
Unknown
Thank you. Thank you very much.
Big J Okerson
I'm right up your ass.
Louis J. Gomez
Do you know how do I come back? Do you know how much it sucks to get zero points on the first story that comes up of yours? And it's the first story of double points.
Unknown
More than the first round.
Louis J. Gomez
It sucks shit.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. Hey, you guys ever wonder how all these comics come up with these wild stories off the top of their heads? It's not just trauma and desperation. It's body brain coffee.
Louis J. Gomez
This isn't your average cup of joe. It's premium freeze dried Colombian coffee packed with 300mg of Tongkat Ali for natural testosterone support. Let me think off the top of my head. I think it's about 600 milligrams of Lion's Mane for razor sharp focus only 250 milligrams of Ashkawanda. If I had to say one thing.
Big J Okerson
Well, no, that's actually a little bit more than the average dose.
Louis J. Gomez
That's a lot. It's actually crazy. Sorry, I haven't had my ashwagandha today. Today.
Big J Okerson
And don't forget 200mg of L theanine for smooth jitter free energy.
Louis J. Gomez
Dude. Remember it. Listen to this hard wiener.
Big J Okerson
It's perfect for morning brainstorming, pre show rituals, or just surviving life as a creative psychopath. It supports testosterone naturally, supports brain function naturally. And we're going to give you 15% off right now with code WAR15. That is 15% off right now with code War15@BodyBrainCoffee.com Fuel your mind. Fire up your balls. Write your damn story. Body, brain co Coffee.
Louis J. Gomez
Alex. Story number six.
Unknown
Wow.
Story number six. My classmate asked me to smell a jar he had in his backpack. It ended up being a jar he used to come in.
Louis J. Gomez
What? What? What?
Big J Okerson
What?
Unknown
It didn't smell good.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, redundant. Redundant. What?
Unknown
This could be any of us.
Louis J. Gomez
You know what? This could be any of us because the problem is the other person. This isn't a thing. This isn't a story. You can judge by the person who stands before you.
Unknown
What? What's the mistake?
Louis J. Gomez
I'm.
Unknown
I'm mad at it.
None.
Louis J. Gomez
None is the mistake.
Unknown
I'm mad I didn't think of this.
Never trust a boy.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, this definitely seems like a Florentine prank.
Unknown
This is back when they had jars and in the day. Yeah.
Did they have jars over an island?
No, they had ball jars.
Big J Okerson
A lot of jars in Ireland.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, that's in Ireland.
Unknown
There's no jars.
Big J Okerson
There's a lot of jars right below.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
In the jar in Ireland, that.
Louis J. Gomez
In your fruit, in your fruit cellar, you have a mason jar full of cum. No.
Unknown
What are we?
Welch? No, that's that. Are you crazy? The Welsh.
Louis J. Gomez
I mean, boo.
Unknown
The Welch.
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
Can I. I'm trying.
Big J Okerson
It was Welshes.
Unknown
Listen, that sounds like a jar of pickled C again.
Louis J. Gomez
And I think Lewis can say this about me on this. None of us. It would. We. We would know if each other knew anybody who kept a jar of their own. Com. Come. Why do you keep the cum in a jar? Why don't you just let it go?
Unknown
Unfortunately, for years there was a guy called Jesus, okay? And he would come into a 2 liter bottle all year long and then post on Christmas day.
Big J Okerson
Oh yeah, I saw. I saw pictures of this.
Unknown
Guess what? Spoiler alert. It wasn't cum.
Big J Okerson
What was it?
Unknown
Oh, I don't know, like green tea or something.
Why? You tasted it.
Oh, how could you not taste it?
Louis J. Gomez
There is only one way to tell.
Unknown
Look to see if a Coke's pure.
Big J Okerson
I mean, look beyond.
Louis J. Gomez
Look.
Big J Okerson
It's a hilarious prank to like make somebody. Do you think jar.
Unknown
Do you think he like washes the cone jars. Like it's like full of dog.
Ain't no one washing a conjure. It's a jar.
What's the purpose accumulating.
Lewis and Jay would know if they did this. They would have heard. Yeah before.
So there's definitely a weird could with a jar full of clum.
Big J Okerson
I understand that.
Unknown
Yeah. I this.
Louis J. Gomez
I mean coming in a jar. I'm just going to chalk that up to foreign weirdness.
Unknown
Yeah.
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
Reason I'm guessing column. Yeah. I mean it just. I'm like a jar.
Unknown
Like who that's never why. Why add the last sentence. It didn't smell good. We can all cuz the guys funny.
Whoever said this.
Big J Okerson
Yeah that's the other thing.
Unknown
Always adding tags.
Whoever wrote this I think that's. That's the mistake. No that's the mistake. He wanted to smell good.
Big J Okerson
He was like ooh yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
He goes and much to my chagrin. Bleachy old load.
Unknown
Yeah.
I was expecting lavender.
The mistake was trusting Daniel. That was the mistake.
Big J Okerson
I'm thinking it's Colm or Chris. Leaning column.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, I'm with you.
Unknown
I. I have my reasonings here.
Big J Okerson
What are you saying?
Unknown
I'm not telling you until you vote.
Big J Okerson
Why?
Unknown
Because you're gonna change your answer and I want to get your points. This is like do I benefit if you get this wrong?
Big J Okerson
Maybe if it's you.
Unknown
No. But it's not me. So how. So how can I. What's the. What's the strategy for the game?
This is like me watchers going, you.
Louis J. Gomez
Don'T want to tell Louis what the right answer is if you think you've got it.
Unknown
I don't want to tell him what it is. I think it's Jay. Then I think it's Jay.
Big J Okerson
You're giving me the.
Louis J. Gomez
You're not giving me I. That's crazy. Okay? If. Dude, I'm so Jewish. If somebody's like smell my cum jar, I'd be like, what do you have a cum jar for? Like why do you have that?
Big J Okerson
Well no, he was tricked. He. He didn't say what the jar was.
Louis J. Gomez
I wouldn't just smell a jar out of someone's back. But I don't have jealous.
Big J Okerson
I don't care.
Louis J. Gomez
Get over here.
Unknown
Why you huffing jars of Cummings?
Louis J. Gomez
Hey dude, smell my cum jar.
Unknown
You want to know what I'm guessing?
This was just.
You want to know what I wrote?
Big J Okerson
I want to know what you wrote.
Unknown
I wrote Jim.
Big J Okerson
You wrote Jim because this is the.
Unknown
Second one where there's no mistake because earlier, you just pushed the car into the river. That was a mistake. This guy doesn't know what a mistake means. So I'm locking in Jim and that's my answer. He's the only one who misread the entire question of the ship. In a few minutes now he's going to say, my name is Jim. That's his other story.
Big J Okerson
All right, I'm not agreeing with you, but I don't want. I don't want Chris to pull so far ahead of me. If it is him.
Unknown
Good tactic, good tactic, good strategy.
Big J Okerson
My vote to Chris Stanley.
Unknown
Good strategy.
Louis J. Gomez
Everybody's locked in, Alex.
Unknown
That story belongs to Chris Stanley.
Smart. Good, smart, smart. This is my first time. This is my first time, you know.
Good game, Louis.
So the year was 2000. I was walking into the. The cafeteria of Brooklyn Technical High School, and my buddy Zach was like, hey, check out this jar. And then it was. It was like one of those, like, you know, brown jars, so you couldn't really see what was in it. And then I smelled it and it was disgusting. And then he was like, dog, that's my come.
Louis J. Gomez
When is. You just had a smell memory, didn't you? I just saw your face. You had a smell memory.
Unknown
Yeah, no, it was a jar of come. Old cum nut filled with.
Louis J. Gomez
Did you ever find out why he kept it around?
Big J Okerson
Cuz he was hilarious.
Unknown
Zack.
Louis J. Gomez
Zack, Who's a young? Gilbert Gottfried?
Unknown
Zach Galvanakis.
Yeah, it was Galakis.
You're right.
Yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
Chris, when was this G. Someone heady. I think that was eddie is wizard.
Unknown
Pre 9 11. 2000.
2000 and where?
Brooklyn.
He remembers all this, but he doesn't remember who was on the Challenger.
Louis J. Gomez
That is crazy.
Big J Okerson
Chris, what was your reaction? Did you like.
Unknown
I. Well, it was. It was understated at first because you know. You know what I mean? It's just like. Wait, what just happened? And then it hits you again and again.
Louis J. Gomez
Understated, like it's a real. Like you're taking in a perfume.
Unknown
Exactly, yeah. Because like.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, yeah, you're letting it dance on your palate.
Unknown
It was awful. It's fucking burned into my goddamn brain.
What, did he do it just as a prank?
No, no, no, no.
Louis J. Gomez
He.
Unknown
He asked other people to smell it. This was just his lifestyle. He just like fucking saving his cum.
So he came in the jar first and then decided what to do with it.
Louis J. Gomez
He goes, I should start letting people smell this.
Unknown
Yeah. He wanted to fill.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm just gonna keep it to myself.
Unknown
He wanted to fill the jar.
Louis J. Gomez
Can you ever fill A jar with cum. Cause eventually it dries and just becomes flat like the surface it's on.
Unknown
It evaporates faster than it.
Louis J. Gomez
You'd have to put on. You'd have to put so much come to make stacks of dried C. No.
Big J Okerson
No, they freeze come. I guess you could turn into.
Louis J. Gomez
No, I'm just talking about if you just come and keep it in the book bag.
Unknown
You think it.
Louis J. Gomez
You'd have to come 700,000 loads to build a level of just thin layer of C that it would dry.
Unknown
You think a Puerto Rican boy from Brooklyn couldn't just jack that much in high school?
Louis J. Gomez
Apologies.
Big J Okerson
Remember on Legion of skanks years ago, we were gonna all. This was a bit that we had an idea to do. We almost went through with it. We're gonna come, let it dry, then scrape it and sniff it.
Unknown
Oh, yeah, yeah, you should do that.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, yeah. Come on.
Unknown
It was gonna be one of the wheel of punishment. Snorting somebody's the wheel of punishment.
Big J Okerson
That's right. Yeah.
Unknown
Big fat rail of nuts snorting a.
Louis J. Gomez
Rail of nut that Ari escaped.
Big J Okerson
Yeah, mature. All right, well, where are our points at, Alex?
Unknown
All right, you're Lucky Lewis on the scoreboard in last place with four points. Big J, you Alex.
Louis J. Gomez
I mean, boo.
Unknown
You host the show.
Louis J. Gomez
Boo. Boo.
Unknown
In fourth place with six points, Jim Florentine.
Yeah. What up?
In third place with seven points, Colm.
Turrell, nine of the people.
In second place with 13 points, Lewis J. Gomez. And still in the lead with 16 points, Chris Stanley.
Thank you. Thank you, everyone.
Man, a big game.
Big J Okerson
Don't worry, Jay. I'm not going to let suddenly frugal go.
Louis J. Gomez
Guys, it's coming back.
Big J Okerson
It's in our library. All right, guys, let's take a quick moment and thank one of our incredible sponsors, which is Yom.com. how much do we love Yom home of the $60 kilo. These guys have been with us for a very long time. They are the marquee sponsors for all things gas, digital and skank fest. And they have the best deal on the Internet, right? Just j.
Louis J. Gomez
$60 kilos. Come on, man. And how cool is it feel to be walking around with a kilo of any kind of powder?
Big J Okerson
I'll tell you right now, dude, if you can purchase a kilo for less than three grand, I think you're winning regardless. It's only 60 bucks.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, 60 bucks. Use the rest of that money to get a blimp that says the world is yours.
Big J Okerson
Yokradem.com there's no promo code Needed. Go there. Support the product that supports us. All right, where were we? Alex? Story number seven.
Unknown
Story number seven. I thought the expression the brunt of it was actually the blunt of it until my early 30s.
Interesting.
Louis J. Gomez
I want to say this is Chris Stanley again, because he didn't learn things till late.
Unknown
Dumb as fuck, Right?
The challenger. Come.
Louis J. Gomez
This could be Lewis. Lewis is dumb as.
Unknown
Yeah, not dumb as.
Big J Okerson
I'm a published author.
Louis J. Gomez
Huh?
Big J Okerson
I'm a published just yet.
Louis J. Gomez
There's still time to stop it. Stop the presses. I. Listen. I make mistakes like this a lot.
Unknown
Don't say that.
Louis J. Gomez
And this is definitely a mistake. Which lets me think. It's not Jim Florentine.
Unknown
No, it couldn't be.
Louis J. Gomez
Whose ultimate mistake is not knowing what mistakes are?
Unknown
Well, I. I actually made the mistake of believing that I voted wrong.
But why weren't they corrected until their early 30s? Because it seems like if this is such a thing, they were constantly saying the brunt of it in conversation.
Louis J. Gomez
Listen, can I tell you why I think this is Louis?
Big J Okerson
Why?
Louis J. Gomez
Because he's a guy that self complains like. And then I had to take the blunt of it.
Unknown
I like what you're saying.
Louis J. Gomez
And then blah, blah, blah. And then I gotta take the blunt of it.
Big J Okerson
Lewis.
Unknown
It's brunt.
It could have been Lewis penning his new novel. And then Chachi bct said, that's not.
Louis J. Gomez
That's not the expression. Right. Lewis just wrote a book where he probably talks about himself taking the blunt of it a lot.
Unknown
He wanted that as the title.
Louis J. Gomez
And he just found out, no, it's not his early 30s now. No.
Unknown
That's the key.
Big J Okerson
I don't know. Either way, I'm gonna smoke a brunt after the show. God damn it.
Louis J. Gomez
It's him.
Unknown
That's a clue.
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Oh, I mean. I mean, Colin, you know, Ash sense English is his third language or something. I have no idea what he's speaking over there.
Unknown
I'm the best of English in this panel. Want to fuck a flea?
Big J Okerson
Yeah. I mean, this also could be an American expression. And that's why he was saying it the wrong way.
Louis J. Gomez
Right. That's what I was thinking.
Unknown
Oh, that's right.
Louis J. Gomez
He doesn't understand our crazy American words.
Unknown
It's a hard language.
Louis J. Gomez
It's a very difficult language. But I know Cantonese.
Big J Okerson
That's why you confuse your R's with your L's. Maybe it's J.
Louis J. Gomez
Anybody in here? Do a little time.
Big J Okerson
Wow.
Unknown
But it's a very special.
Louis J. Gomez
Then I would still believe that it is the blunt of it. Even If I had it right.
Big J Okerson
That's true.
Unknown
You're stubborn.
Big J Okerson
I'm going to go.
Louis J. Gomez
Lewis is answering fast, making me thinks.
Unknown
Lewis, I feel like Jim hasn't said anything at all, so I'm gonna go.
Big J Okerson
Think it's me?
Louis J. Gomez
I'm out. Can you just tell me if it's you? Jay, you pinch my leg if it's you.
Big J Okerson
You think it's always me.
Louis J. Gomez
Grab my leg though.
Big J Okerson
Every story you think, pinch my leg.
Louis J. Gomez
If it's me, it's you, Yes.
Unknown
I don't.
Louis J. Gomez
It's Lewis. He's stupid. He told me, lewis, pinch my leg. It's Lewis.
Unknown
I'm going Jim again. It's got to be.
Big J Okerson
I think this is a mistake. A language mistake. Different culture.
Louis J. Gomez
I can't affect this game less if I threw a fucking microphone on one of you.
Unknown
You're doing great, Jay.
I think you two would have corrected each other hanging around each other all the time. But somebody said that that's why you love correcting people.
Louis J. Gomez
When I know the right thing, it does make me really happy if you know this.
Big J Okerson
If I was. I knew you into my early 30s. If I was saying the blunt of it, you would have corrected it.
Louis J. Gomez
Well, there's also a part of me that would just nod my head and shit talk you behind your back.
Unknown
Catty. So catty.
Louis J. Gomez
I mean this doesn't even know how to speak English.
Big J Okerson
Alex, all of our answers are in.
Unknown
Please let be Louis.
That story belongs to column Durham.
Big J Okerson
God damn. Yes.
Unknown
None of the people. Man of the people.
Louis J. Gomez
It wasn't Lewis.
Unknown
I feel Lewis was also wrong about it, but just didn't write it in so column.
Big J Okerson
I mean there's not much more to this story.
Unknown
No, I just. I said it wrong on a podcast and everyone made fun of of me, so that was. That doesn't the blunt of it sounds better though, right? Like it makes more sense? Nah, it definitely sounds better. I'm reading it now. It sounds the blunt of it. Like to be blunt.
Mm, no, no, we can see it.
Louis J. Gomez
This lady is a college professor. She says no.
Unknown
Who is the one with the pink hair? I'm not listening to you. You don't got your life together at all.
Louis J. Gomez
She's a sassy English professor. Her.
Unknown
Oh gee, I didn't know you had a little British accent.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, that's she slept with two students. Three students.
Unknown
Three hot.
Louis J. Gomez
They were of age over there. Oh my God. What are the scores lose.
Unknown
In dead last place.
Don't say it.
With four points. Big J O.
Big J Okerson
Just stop voting for me.
Louis J. Gomez
It's gonna be you eventually.
Big J Okerson
I want to see the stats of how often BJ thinks the story's made. It's crazy.
Louis J. Gomez
Except what it is you. I say not yet. You a lot. I got you once. I got you once tonight. Once tonight again.
Big J Okerson
That's good. Go ahead, Alex.
Unknown
In fourth place with 10 points, Jim Florentine.
Wow. Wow.
In third place with 11 points, Colum Turl.
Louis J. Gomez
Wow.
Unknown
Man of the people. Man of the people. Man of the people, people.
In second place with 16 points, Chris Stanley.
This is it.
And now in the lead with 17 points, Leis J. Gomez.
Louis J. Gomez
Gomez.
Unknown
Tight.
Louis J. Gomez
It is getting exciting for everybody but me in here because one person is going home. Suddenly frugal Leah Ingram delivers a crash course in conscious living for anyone ready to reclaim control over their finances with hundreds of actionable tips organized by category, from utilities and transportation to food and entertainment, the book is both a guide and a wake up call. It's not just about saving money. Semicolon. Nice. It's about making informed choices that align with your values, your goals, and. And your future.
Unknown
I know. I can see it.
Big J Okerson
I'm excited. Very close, Chris.
Unknown
Oh, yeah, I know.
Big J Okerson
We have one more story.
Unknown
This is up.
Louis J. Gomez
I could go take a shit and change nothing. Alex. Story number eight.
Unknown
Story number eight. A girl insisted I wear a condom, and I didn't have one, so I used Saran wrap instead.
Louis J. Gomez
Definitely Lewis, man. Come on. Every story's him for sure. The smart Alex just changes it if I get too close. She's working. They're in cahoots.
Unknown
The smartest man alive is on this panel.
I. I did Lewis have Saran wrap in the house growing up?
Louis J. Gomez
Ooh, that's a good question. I think it was probably parchment paper.
Big J Okerson
Yeah. I wrapped my dick in Reynolds wrap.
Louis J. Gomez
It's a spiky.
Big J Okerson
Just hurts.
Louis J. Gomez
Spiky aluminum.
Big J Okerson
I mean, I. I wouldn't. I just would convince her to not wear a condom at that point. Point. I'm very good at that.
Unknown
This could have been young. This is.
Big J Okerson
I told you.
Louis J. Gomez
Florentine. Down the shore. Some sloppy pig after a Bon Jovi concert.
Unknown
This is really hot.
I only saw Bon Jovi at the Garden, so I wasn't sure.
Louis J. Gomez
Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. It's not Jim. I was sure. Was that Bon Jovi night?
Unknown
No. See, but this is the. The girl insisted I wear a condom, so that's when. And Lewis MacGyvered up a. Yeah, correct.
Big J Okerson
Give me a pen, a piece of gum, and a Q tip.
Louis J. Gomez
This is. This is after 20 minutes of him saying he's fine. There's no reason to wear a condom. He goes, all right, fine. Let me go. Fancy something?
Unknown
No, I got this. Cool. I got a cool one from Europe.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, I'm gonna Z something up in the kitchen real quick.
Unknown
But Jay, did you ever hear Louis talking about this?
An elastic band?
Louis J. Gomez
No, I don't.
Unknown
Well, there's no way.
You think he would have brought that up, though.
Louis J. Gomez
I do, I do. I do think he would have brought that up. I think he would have just said he was using Saran Wrap and then slipped it off right before he went in and her. Wrong.
Big J Okerson
Oh, come on, dude. You think I would.
Louis J. Gomez
So you.
Big J Okerson
You think I would stealth and admit it on a podcast?
Unknown
Yes.
Big J Okerson
Oh, Saran Wrap broke dropping over there.
Louis J. Gomez
I'm gonna.
Unknown
This could be big J though too.
Louis J. Gomez
Could be. I'm going Jim Florentine.
Unknown
You don't think on the road so many times.
Big J Okerson
I think his dick is too small to wrap Saran Wrap around. Wow.
Louis J. Gomez
Saran Wrap could wrap a peanut. Dude, it clings. It's called cling wrap. You're. Now it might be Lewis different cling rap.
Unknown
Cling film.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, I want to say you now I'm so pissed. It's Jim, though. This is Jim.
Big J Okerson
But wait, I'm getting a gym vibe.
Louis J. Gomez
This is Jim slaying.
Unknown
See, I think it's Lewis. But then you would have heard the story. The question is because Lewis would have told you that before for sure. You guys hanging out.
Jim, Jim, explain to me how this is a mistake.
Oh, you're right, Colin.
Louis J. Gomez
You know what?
Unknown
Please, son of a God, tell me why this is a mistake. Steak in any way?
It's genius.
I don't.
This stuff.
This is just. You just. You ghosted it. You. You stealthed a chick.
Big J Okerson
I'm getting Jim vibes. Jim, is this you?
Unknown
You think I'm going to admit it?
Big J Okerson
I just want. I want to get.
Louis J. Gomez
That is what he hopes for when he does that.
Big J Okerson
I just want to get a feel for your reaction.
Unknown
I don't know.
Do you think I would do something like this?
Big J Okerson
Well, you said you wear cost condoms.
Unknown
Yeah.
Oh, he did.
Big J Okerson
He did.
Unknown
But she insisted.
Louis J. Gomez
This is insisting of wearing a condom.
Unknown
He didn't have one at the time.
Big J Okerson
We didn't have one.
Unknown
Yeah, it sunk to the bottom of that river.
Big J Okerson
Now Jim gets a lot of.
Unknown
And he has a lot of Saran Wrap.
Big J Okerson
I just. I would sooner just jerk off before putting Saran Wrap on my dick.
Louis J. Gomez
Really?
Unknown
That's.
Louis J. Gomez
I don't believe.
Big J Okerson
That's crazy.
Louis J. Gomez
I don't believe that it's Lewis. The one time I didn't vote for him, it's him.
Unknown
But Jay, you're wrong all the time.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah, I am the worst at the game.
Unknown
Yeah, you are. At least tonight.
Louis J. Gomez
No, no.
Big J Okerson
100 of the time column is just convince a girl to not wear a condom, guy.
Unknown
I just wouldn't wake her up.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah.
Unknown
Oh my God.
Louis J. Gomez
That is the easiest thing married now.
Unknown
What about Chris?
I'm getting married next week.
Big J Okerson
I get this.
Unknown
I get this off my chest.
Louis J. Gomez
I feel like Chris Stanley tells a straight out of the gates, no condoms or he ain't showing up.
Unknown
I'm going Chris.
But if he's there and she insists.
Louis J. Gomez
But this is could be Chris Stanley. This I'm sure he didn't have a.
Unknown
Lot of chances to get laid.
What the.
Louis J. Gomez
I can't picture. I can't picture Chris wrapping his dick in Saran Wrap. I don't know why I can't picture.
Unknown
No, I would actually just jerk off.
Louis J. Gomez
Yeah. With Saran Wrap still.
Unknown
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Louis J. Gomez
Well, that is the most efficient way to clean up. Yeah. Yes.
Big J Okerson
Jim Florentine is my answer.
Louis J. Gomez
That is my answer too. Chris Stanley getting two votes.
Unknown
Everything is on. I can't answer Jim because then we'll tie, correct?
Big J Okerson
No, no. I would win because I'm a point ahead of you. Okay. You need to hope that I'm wrong and you're right.
Unknown
Can he vote for himself?
Big J Okerson
No.
Unknown
Okay, so it's not you.
So I can't say Jim and I really need to learn how to manage money.
Louis J. Gomez
I'll tell you, this dude is not me. But it's not me at all. But I could definitely wrap my dick in a Saran Wrap.
Unknown
So I'm gonna say dude, I could.
Louis J. Gomez
Rap it so much.
Unknown
You gotta go Lewis.
Louis J. Gomez
I probably have to use a pretty good pole.
Unknown
The only way you can win this.
Look, man, strategy dog.
Louis J. Gomez
All right.
Unknown
I want to see Jim too.
Oh, look at Lewis's face.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, he's smiling big. He's smiling big. Well, I want to hit you. What is it?
Unknown
It's Jim.
Big J Okerson
It's Jim.
Unknown
So happy if it's Alex.
The final story belongs belongs to Jim Florentin.
Big J Okerson
Yes.
Unknown
I knew it.
Louis J. Gomez
A little bit less and less.
Unknown
Please, not one mistake mentioned.
Guess I'll be poor forever. Then I learned this book secrets.
Big J Okerson
So Jim. Jim told another non mistake story.
Unknown
No, it was. It was a mist. She might have added it down. It was a mistake day cuz that was my first girlfriend. She broke up me the next day. Because I use Saran Wrap on her.
Louis J. Gomez
Because.
Unknown
Yeah, there's a lot of subtext in this.
Big J Okerson
I see.
Unknown
It's about the human condition con.
It's an. It's an allegory.
To this day. I think about her every time I eat leftovers. Yeah, I bet.
Good game.
Big J Okerson
Alex. Make it official. What are our final points?
Unknown
All right, refer to me as man of the people, please.
Coming in Last place with 8 points, Big J Okerson.
Louis J. Gomez
I want to break the set, but I don't know how sturdy it is.
Unknown
In fourth place with 11 points, Colm.
Turrell, man of the people.
In third place with 14 points, Jim Florentine.
Louis J. Gomez
Big jump. Big jump.
Unknown
And in first place, your winner tonight, Louis J. Gomez with 21 points.
Louis J. Gomez
Oh, my God. That hurts so much for you, Chris.
Unknown
No shit.
Louis J. Gomez
You could taste it. You could taste that fucking victory. But it didn't happen. Luis J. Gomez, everybody. Your repeat winner. Must be nice. I hope this book sucks. I hope you have to read the whole thing. Books are dumb as shit anyway. Thank you so much to our amazing panel. One more time, everybody, for column. Terrell, Chris Stanley, great. Jim Florentine. Thank you guys so much for checking out Story Wars. We're here every week at the New York Comedy Club. Make sure you check us out on gas digital.com, everybody. Thank you so much. Until next time, I'm Big J Okerson.
Big J Okerson
I'm Louis Shay Gomez.
Louis J. Gomez
Peace.
Podcast Summary: Story Warz Episode 045 – Jim Florentine, Colum Tyrrell, & Chris Stanley | Mistakes
Introduction
In Episode 045 of Story Warz: A Game of Deceptive Storytelling, hosted by GaS Digital Network featuring comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez, the spotlight is on the theme of "Mistakes." Recording live from The Stand Comedy Club in New York City, this episode welcomes special guests Jim Florentine, Colum Tyrrell, and Chris Stanley. The hosts introduce the game's unique format, where panelists share personal stories about mistakes they’ve made, aiming to deceive others or correctly identify the origin of each story.
Game Explanation
At [02:12], Luis J. Gomez outlines the rules: each of the five participants (including the hosts) has submitted three to five stories centered around the subject of mistakes. Producer Alex reads eight of these stories randomly. If a story belongs to a panelist, their goal is to convince others it doesn't, while guessing whose story is whose if it doesn’t belong to them. Points are awarded based on correct guesses and successful deception, with the potential to score up to four points per story.
Luis adds at [05:16], “Today, the winner takes home Suddenly Frugal by Leah Ingram,” a practical guide aimed at helping readers save money without compromising their lifestyle.
Round 1: First Stories and Initial Guesses
Story 1 – Jim Florentine ([06:54]): Jim shares a humorous yet cringe-worthy tale about mistakenly ejaculating inside a one-night stand, believing she was on the pill. Big Jay humorously misinterprets the story, emphasizing the comedic angle rather than the mistake itself.
Story 2 – Chris Stanley ([18:20]): Chris narrates an incident where he and his friends pushed a parked car into a canal, causing it to sink. The panel debates the severity and the realness of the story, leading to suspicions about its authenticity.
Story 3 – Colum Tyrrell ([26:10]): Colum recounts believing that an entire class of children were aboard the Challenger spaceship when it exploded, only to be corrected decades later. This leads to confusion and humorous debates about historical accuracy.
Story 4 – Big Jay Oakerson ([36:21]): Big Jay tells a story about buying a sandwich at a deli, mistakenly causing an argument over a $20 bill that was actually still in his pocket. The panel quickly identifies this as his story due to recurring traits.
Intermissions and Sponsor Messages
Throughout the episode, the hosts interject with humorous promotions for sponsors such as Ridge Wallets, Mando Whole Body Deodorant, Body Brain Coffee, and Yom.com. These segments are seamlessly integrated into the gameplay, maintaining the show’s lively atmosphere.
Round 2: Continued Stories and Strategic Voting
Story 5 – Big Jay Oakerson ([49:45]): Big Jay shares an over-the-top anecdote about attempting to facilitate a foursome by grabbing another man's genitals, only for the girls to pair off instead. This leads to intense but humorous back-and-forth as the panel tries to pinpoint the storyteller.
Story 6 – Colum Tyrrell ([59:21]): Colum describes a bizarre scenario where a classmate asks him to smell a jar, which turns out to contain semen. The grotesque nature of the mistake makes it a compelling story to identify.
Story 7 – Luis J. Gomez ([69:25]): Luis humorously confesses to misinterpreting the phrase “the brunt of it” as “the blunt of it," leading to a series of language-based mistakes that the panel debates fiercely.
Story 8 – Luis J. Gomez ([77:12]): Luis recounts a risky situation where he uses Saran Wrap instead of a condom during a sexual encounter, highlighting the absurdity and potential consequences of such a mistake.
Final Voting and Winner Announcement
As the stories unfold, panelists engage in lively debates, employing humor and strategic reasoning to deduce the origin of each mistake. By the end of the episode, the scoreboard reflects an intense competition:
Notable Moments and Quotes:
Conclusion
Episode 045 of Story Warz delivers an evening filled with laughter, strategic deception, and candid storytelling centered around the theme of mistakes. The dynamic interplay between hosts and guests, combined with the competitive spirit, makes for an engaging and entertaining podcast experience. Listeners are treated to a blend of personal anecdotes, humor, and the unpredictable nature of storytelling, culminating in Louis J. Gomez’s well-earned victory.
Key Takeaways:
Notable Quotes with Time Stamps:
This episode exemplifies Story Warz's ability to blend humor with personal storytelling, making it a must-listen for fans of comedic game shows and engaging podcast content.