Story Warz Episode 059: “Neighbors”

Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez
Guests: Ron Bennington, Ian Fidance, LeMaire Lee
Airdate: September 19, 2025
Location: The Stand Comedy Club, NYC

Episode Overview

Live from the New York Comedy Club, Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez welcome comedy legend Ron Bennington, the spirited Ian Fidance, and newcomer LeMaire Lee for another rollicking edition of Story Warz—a game of hilarious, deceptive storytelling, riffing, and unfiltered banter. Tonight’s theme is “Neighbors,” and each comic submits wild, real-life stories to fool their peers. Points are earned for deceiving or guessing correctly, all in pursuit of the coveted prize: Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.

Key Discussion & Game Highlights

Introductions & Rules (02:20–07:50)

• Hosts Jay and Luis open the show, joke about their first unsold section (02:48), and explain Story Warz for new audience members (03:04).
• Each panelist has anonymously submitted three to five stories about “Neighbors.”
• For each round, a story is read aloud; players must either claim ownership to fool others or correctly guess the author for points (06:00).
• Prize: The Art of War (“I did feel like it was going to be a thicker book.” – Big Jay, 07:35)

Story Round Summaries

Story 1: Pregnant 12-Year-Old Double Dutch (08:46–14:15)

• Story: “I watched my pregnant 12 year old neighbor play double Dutch at 3am.”
• Panelists riff about race, growing up in “the hood,” and the stereotypes about such a bizarre sight. Jay and Luis interrogate LeMaire’s background for clues (10:11), LaMaire admits his name inspiration came from Family Feud (11:23).
• Guesses: Most accuse LaMaire, with some Ron suspicion.
• Reveal: It’s LaMaire’s story.
• Memorable quote:
  • “Could you have written a more black story? Jesus Christ.” — Luis J. Gomez (14:22)
  • “My mom got my name from Family Feud.” — LaMaire Lee (11:23)
• Score Recap: Ian 0, LaMaire 1, others 2 (15:52)

Story 2: Kicking Down a Door in Anger (17:46–26:09)

• Story: “I kicked down the door to my neighbor's apartment during a party to choke her boyfriend for talking shit. I blacked out in anger, and when I came to, a family member was pulling me off while screaming I was a good boy.”
• Hosts suspect Ian for punk-rock rage but debate if it's Luis or Ron too.
• Ian jokes: “This isn't about me, Jay.” (32:28)
• Reveal: It’s Ian’s story.
• He details his spiral: fresh out of the hospital, blacked out attacking a neighbor’s boyfriend, and his mom saving him, all before detox.
• “And funnily enough, that guy that I choked? Dead. Now Ian wins again.” – Ian (27:37)
• Score Recap: Ian 1, LaMaire 3, Ron 4, Jay/Luis 4 (28:05)

Story 3: First Dead Body (28:57–37:41)

• Story: “First time I saw a dead body was my neighbor being dragged from his home after a heart attack. I was 7, my mother woke me up to watch.”
• Morbid guessing game: Jay and Luis trade stories about funeral trauma, Jay’s “mom wouldn't wake me up for this,” but Lewis is insistent the story’s about Jay (29:33–34:09).
• “That's crazy if we were wrong because you're gonna give... if it's Lewis, you're gonna give Lewis all the points.” – Jay (33:57)
• Reveal: It’s Luis’s story. His mother (a junkie, he notes) woke him up to see paramedics dragging the neighbor’s corpse; haunted by the memory, even ruined The Undertaker for him in wrestling.
• Score Recap: Ian 1, LaMaire 3, Ron 4, Jay/Luis 6 (38:26)

Story 4: Porn Condom Boxes (43:13–51:01)

• Story: “When I was a kid, I'd rummage through my neighbor's garbage for empty condom boxes with nude women on them, kept them hidden in my room.”
• Bit of a generational divide—Jay and Luis debate if this was more “80s kid” behavior, with Luis insistent the boxes existed (“literally it was straight up porn on the condom box” – Luis, 44:18).
• Jay calls his mom live to verify his childhood perviness (45:08).
• After accusing each other and LaMaire, surprise: Luis is the culprit—he’d scavenge for these porn treasure boxes in the neighborhood trash with friends, hiding them in his bedroom ceiling.
• Memorable riff: “I would jerk off to garbage.” — Luis (51:51)
• Score Recap: Lewis’s lead slips, Jay climbs ahead (52:59–53:05)

Mid-Episode Standings (53:42–58:54)

• Plugs and comedic asides, including Ron announcing David Byrne on Bennington and joking about starting “the Other Talking Heads” band (54:05).
• Ron, at this point, is in fourth, but the double point round is near.

Story 5: The Unwarranted Rape Joke (61:12–70:11)

• Story: “As a kid, I made a joke that two old guys in the neighborhood raped the girl we all liked. Friend told his mom, started drama.”
• The panel debates whose sense of humor or penchant for drama fits—Luis accuses Jay of being the “liar” kid who’d start stories, Jay recalls his school-wide apology for a lie about a girl (63:05–65:29).
• “We really used the word rape too much because we could not at that age imagine girls wanting this.” – Ron Bennington (69:24)
• Reveal: It’s Ron’s story. In sixth grade, he cracked the off-hand “rape” joke, which went wild through neighborhood mothers, causing “unwarranted drama.”
• Ron soars to the lead: 14 points.

Story 6: Losing a Neighbor’s Kid in a Cornfield (73:42–77:38)

• The only panelist from “corn country” is LaMaire, but Jay and company debate if it could be an accidental Luis story, or a deceptive Ron move.
• Reveal: It’s LaMaire. While watching the youth pastor’s kid in central PA, the boy vanishes into an Amish farm’s cornfield before being found a few minutes later.
• LaMaire surges to second after this “big shakeup” (78:38).

Story 7: Penis-Grabbing Neighbor (79:01–87:21)

• Story: “A family member started dating the meanest neighbor in the neighborhood. He grabbed my penis in public.”
• The room is torn—Jay and Luis volley childhood miseries, Ron analyzes that only “LaMaire has a big family, and bullies go for the nut slap.” (83:08)
• Jay draws a comically small penis on his answer for Ian, but…it’s Jay’s story. His grandmother dated the nastiest neighbor, who, in a packed store, pawed at kid-Jay’s genitals to show off how low his saggy ‘90s pants were.
• “And he jacked me off in public.” — Jay (87:17)
• Jay and Ron tied for 1st (87:56)

Story 8: Baseball Bat to the Head (88:38–94:22)

• Story: “I became friends with a new neighbor who hit me in the head with a baseball bat.”
• Theories abound—Luis semi-confesses to a bat-to-the-head adventure just to bait guesses. Ron, ever Philly, gives the origin story: He started fighting a new kid, got clobbered, but a year later they became best friends after sharing a pool.
• Reveal: Ron’s story.
• Quotes: “We used to play a lot of sandlot baseball. He was the new kid, so I started punching him... he came up and whacked me with a baseball bat... Next summer, we were buddies.” — Ron (92:52–93:38)

Notable Quotes & Riffing

• “Could you have written a more black story? Jesus Christ.” — Luis to LaMaire (14:22)
• “We used to stand on corners... then suddenly, mothers started to come out and grab a kid and take him back...” — Ron, on the fallout from his rape joke (68:06)
• “We've all described exactly why. It's 100% LaMaire.” — Jay, on story #1 (12:41)
• “You've got my vibes since I wrote your name down.” — Jay to Luis, on psychological warfare (32:59)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Game Rules & Introductions: 02:19–07:50
• Story 1 (Pregnant 12yo Double Dutch): 08:46–14:15
• Story 2 (Kick Down Door & Choke): 17:46–26:09
• Story 3 (First Dead Body): 28:57–37:41
• Story 4 (Condom Porn Boxes): 43:13–51:01
• Double Points Begin: 59:06
• Story 5 (Unwarranted Rape Joke): 61:12–70:11
• Story 6 (Lost in Cornfield): 73:42–77:38
• Story 7 (Penis-Grabbing Neighbor): 79:01–87:21
• Story 8 (Baseball Bat to the Head): 88:38–94:22
• Final Scoring/Wrap-Up: 94:28–96:09

Final Scores & Winner

| Place | Name | Points | |------------|--------------------|--------| | 1st | Ron Bennington | 20 | | 2nd | Big Jay Okerson | 18 | | T-3rd | Luis J. Gomez | 11 | | T-3rd | LaMaire Lee | 11 | | Last | Ian Fidance | 3 |

“Ron, you go home. You’re now a story warrior. You go home with the Art of War by Sun Tzu. And by the way, Ron, you can now trigger double points.”
— Lewis J. Gomez (95:16)

Memorable Moments

• Jay calling his mom on speaker to confirm his porn habits (45:08).
• Multiple riffs on penis size, with Jay drawing diagrams (83:41).
• Ron’s tales of Philly childhoods—jokes progressing from rape rumors to baseball bat fights, each with a punchline and dark twist.
• Luis’s confessional about garbage-porn scavenging: “I would jerk off to garbage.” (51:51)
• Jay describing the “complete betrayal” Lewis is capable of in the game: “Swore on my son’s life while he’s in the room and been lying.” (90:16)

Episode Tone & Flavor

Unfiltered, rowdy, and deeply self-deprecating—the comics lean into outrageous personal histories, racial and generational divides, and their own reputations for “lying for points.” The interplay between comics (hustling, accusing, and riffing) is the heart of the episode, as is the honest reflection underneath the bravado.

In Summary

Story Warz 059 delivers on its premise: raw storytelling, comic misdirection, and plenty of “did he just say that?” moments. Ron Bennington proves a master both of deception and delivery, taking home the Art of War in a game as morally ambiguous and hilarious as its host comedians.

Next Episode: Who will be crowned Story Warrior next? And who will go home with shameful single-digit points? Until then: “With that power comes responsibility. Will you use it for good or evil?” — Big Jay Okerson

[For full episode, check out Gas Digital or attend Story Warz live every Wednesday at NY Comedy Club.]