Story Warz Episode 061: “Sickness”
With Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, Robert Kelly, Paul Virzi, and Sean Donnelly
October 3, 2025 | Live at New York Comedy Club
Episode Overview
In this rowdy and hilarious episode of Story Warz, comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez host three powerhouse guests—Robert Kelly, Paul Virzi, and Sean Donnelly—for a game of deceptive and comedic storytelling. The theme is “Sickness,” but as always, the tales range from bodily humiliations to arrests, and more than a few scenes of questionable medical behavior. The object: fool each other about who submitted which (often insane) story, rack up points for successful deception, and claim the prestigious Story Warz book prize. The show features cutting banter, accusations, and plenty of personal overshares, all in front of a hyped live crowd.
How the Game Works [05:51]
- Each comic (and both hosts) submits 3–5 stories tied to the episode theme (“Sickness”).
- Stories are read anonymously by producer Alexandra.
- Panelists try to convince others a given story isn’t theirs and guess whose it is.
- 1 point for each person you fool, 2 points for each correct guess.
- In the second half, double points are in play.
Panel Introductions and Banter [03:08–06:38]
- Sean Donnelly (first-timer), Paul Virzi (first-timer), and Robert Kelly (returning champion) join the hosts.
- Hosts riff on wardrobe (“You all look like the same video game character but dressed differently.” — Luis, 05:26).
- Theme for the night: Sickness.
Prizes and Stakes [07:57]
- Winner receives Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams.
- Bragging rights as a “Story Warrior.”
- Double Points round in second half raises the stakes further.
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On Theme & Crowd:
“Get down with the sickness. This guy’s so excited about our topic. Because you’re a good audience member, you cocksucker.” — Luis, [06:11] -
Banter about diseases:
“Also, by the way, it’s STI now. They took disease out. So this seems like an old thing as well.” — Jay, [11:55] -
Accusations & Psychology:
“You don’t look like a dude that’s like, I’m putting your ass. You don’t look…” — Paul to Sean, [10:44] -
Multiple times the panel clowns on each other’s childhoods:
“Lewis’s disease was not having a dad to play catch with.” — Sean, [40:23]
Game Highlights: Key Stories and Revelations
Story 1: “A girl once told me she had an STD so I should only have anal sex with her. Turns out the STD lives in the butt too.”
Discussion:
- Fierce debate on whose style the punchline fits.
- Jay and Bobby both come under suspicion for “old-timey” STD talk.
Reveal:
- Big Jay Okerson (Story Warrior tactic—late switch by Paul nets him points).
- “Turns out, but I was in that moment, and I thought she was the doctor. She seemed to have it. So she goes, 'We should just do anal because I have Hep C.' And I was like, 'Word.'” — Big Jay, [17:51]
Story 2: “As a child, I fell seriously ill with mononucleosis, but my mother dismissed my symptoms. I was secretly taken to the hospital by a family member where I spent a week under the care of a nurse who I still masturbate to occasionally.”
Discussion:
- Panel gets distracted accusing each other’s mothers and spelling “mononucleosis.”
- Everyone suspects Sean due to “novelistic” intro.
Reveal:
- Robert Kelly
- “She put my pants down and she started cleaning, very gently cleaning my…my penis and my balls and all that stuff.” — Robert Kelly, [26:08]
- Panel realizes Bobby was maybe “molested” rather than cared for:
- “Dude, you were molested.” — Paul, [26:17]
- Bobby: “Yeah, molested.” [26:18]
Story 3: “I got arrested in a hospital parking lot while doing donuts in a blizzard.”
Discussion:
- Immediate suspicion falls on Paul for “chain-wearing Guinea” energy.
- Bobby: “What are you driving?” Paul: “A Lexus.” [31:53]
Reveal:
- Paul Virzi
- Tells wild story: after a drunken party, he stripped naked in a hospital waiting room, then got arrested outside while doing donuts in a blizzard with a friend.
- “When asked why Mr. Virzi is naked, his response: ‘My belt buckle came undone.’” — Paul, [34:54]
Story 4: “When I was a young boy, I was told I had a disease that would keep me from ever playing sports at a high level.”
Discussion:
- Comics riff on the ‘disease’ being fatness or just lacking a father.
- The word “Osgood Schlatter” baffles everyone.
Reveal:
- Big Jay Okerson
- “It’s called Osgood-Schlatter’s disease.” — Jay, [43:46]
- Jay exploits it to get out of football: “So at the…to join the team I had the fake like, you know, lie and say that I had nothing…And then once I didn’t want to play…Doctor says I can’t play.” — Jay, [45:23]
Halftime Standings [45:54]
- Lewis J. Gomez / Paul Virzi: 2 pts
- Sean Donnelly: 4 pts
- Robert Kelly: 5 pts
- Big Jay Okerson: 9 pts (huge lead)
Second Half: Double Points, Even Wilder Stories
[52:17 onward: Double points begin]
Story 5: “One time I got arrested for drinking on the beach and had to spend all night in a cell with a guy who was arrested for pistol whipping the guy who his wife was cheating on him with.”
Discussion:
- Everyone suspects Sean, who accidentally reveals a “newbie” tell.
- “If the story was I went to the beach and I burst into dust, then it would be Sean.” — Jay, [56:12]
Reveal:
- Sean Donnelly
- “Ocean City, Maryland. We got arrested for drinking. And I was put in a cell with a guy…his wife was cheating on him…pistol whipped the guy in the street.” — Sean, [58:14]
Story 6: “When I was in my early 20s, I got strep throat and didn’t see a doctor for over a month. I spread it to multiple people in my group of friends.”
Reveal:
- Luis J. Gomez
- “I had a girlfriend. I was cheating on my girlfriend. I made out with both of them, then I coughed in my other friend’s mouth. There were like eight people who got strep throat and they were wondering how it all happened, and it was just me.” — Luis, [66:36]
Story 7: “When I was 16, I went to the doctor, and the nurse was so hot that I jerked off in the time between when she left and when the doctor came in.”
Discussion:
- Immediate uproar; panel accuses Bobby.
- “Sean is too Catholic for this.” — Jay, [71:20]
- Sean’s protestations (“It’s the first time I’ve said this ever!”) [76:38] confirm his innocence—so they think.
Reveal:
- Sean Donnelly
- “I was up and I jerked off. And the doctor came in about 15 seconds after I finished. …Into the garbage can.” — Sean, [76:31]
Story 8: “One time in front of a lot of people, I called out, ‘I’m hitting that side mirror on that far away car with this snowball.’ Then I did it. Sickness.”
Discussion:
- Panel suspects Jay; wonders if the “sickness” signature is a clue.
- Bobby: “You know he went surfer ‘sickness.’ That’s Big Jay. He went another direction.” [84:05]
Reveal:
- Big Jay Okerson (clinch win)
- “I loaded up a snowball...I go, side mirror. Zinged it. I mean, far it went po and everyone… Sickness!” — Big Jay, [87:01]
Final Standings [87:15]
- 1st Place: Big Jay Okerson, 23 pts — “His sixth win of all time.”
- 2nd: Sean Donnelly, 14 pts
- 3rd: Robert Kelly, 13 pts
- 4th: Paul Virzi, 10 pts
- Last: Luis J. Gomez, 8 pts
Memorable Moments
- Repeated callbacks about Lewis’ absent father and poverty
- Jokes on Catholic guilt and Irish pallor.
- Bobby’s story about being “cared for” (maybe molested) by a childhood nurse—panel’s reactions go from horror to jokes in a split second: “I was molested…I didn’t even know it.” — Bobby, [26:41]
- Sean’s “secret” adolescent jerk-off during a doctor’s visit
- Paul Virzi’s epic blizzard/arrest/hospital story, evolving into both arrest and nudity
- Jay’s triumphant “sickness” snowball throw earns him the night’s title
Recurring Gags and Running Commentary
- Accusations over whose story is whose drive much of the panel’s chemistry.
- Several rounds see accusations pivot, with groupthink leading to surprise upsets on answers.
- Second half “double points,” with the panel clowning on “story warriors” status.
- Repeated (and affectionate) mockery for panelist’s age, background, and attractiveness.
Closing
Big Jay, finally, wins decisively. The night is full of new entries to the show’s hall of fame for wild, cringeworthy, and creative “sickness” stories—only some of which involve actual illness. Classic punchlines and heckling abound, the audience and comics alike clearly relishing the Story Warz blend of standup storytelling and competitive sneakiness.
Recommended listens for fans of brutally honest, unfiltered comedy and those who love seeing comics roast each other while also exposing their deepest adolescent dumbassery.
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [05:51] — Rules/How to Play
- [10:00] — Round 1 guesswork
- [17:51] — Hep C Anal Story Reveal (Jay)
- [26:08] — Molesting Nurse Story Reveal (Bobby)
- [34:54] — Paul’s Arrest/Naked Hospital/Donuts Story
- [45:54] — Halftime Standings
- [66:36] — Lewis Spreads Strep to Dozens
- [76:38] — Sean’s Doctor/Jerk-Off Confession
- [87:01] — Jay’s “Sickness” Snowball Triumph
Notable Quotes
- “Turns out, the STD lives in the butt too.” — Big Jay Okerson, [16:24]
- “I was molested…I didn’t even know it.” — Robert Kelly, [26:41]
- “Lewis’s disease was not having a dad to play catch with.” — Sean Donnelly, [40:23]
- “You jerked off at the doctor? Into the garbage can? Who am I sitting next to?” — Panel, [76:36]
- “He’s got oshkosh B’gosh disease.” — Robert Kelly about Jay, [46:33]
- “I’ll let everybody on this panel kick me in the dick.” — Big Jay Okerson, [68:41]
Original Comedy, TMI medicals, competitive trickery—classic Story Warz.
