066. Shane Torres, Sienna Hubert-Ross, Ralph Sutton | Sex, Drugs, & Rock & Roll

Summary

Story Warz Ep. 066 Recap: "Sex, Drugs, & Rock & Roll"

Host: GaS Digital Network / Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez
Guests: Shane Torres, Sienna Hubert-Ross, Ralph Sutton
Date: November 7, 2025
Location: The Stand Comedy Club, NYC

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Episode Overview

This uproarious episode of Story Warz centers around the theme "Sex, Drugs, & Rock & Roll," with comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez facing off against a star-studded panel: Shane Torres, Sienna Hubert-Ross, and Ralph Sutton. Broadcasting live from The Stand Comedy Club, the group shares outlandish, hilarious, and sometimes raunchy stories—some true, some fabricated—while the others guess the source in a competition of wit and deception.

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Game Mechanics

• Each panelist and host submits 3–5 stories on the episode's theme.
• Stories are read anonymously; panelists must convince others the story isn't theirs, or guess who it is.
• Scoring:
  • Guess correctly = 2 points (doubled in final four rounds)
  • Fool others with your story = 1 point per person fooled (doubled late game)
• Tonight’s Prize: Sing You Home by Jodi Picoult

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Panel Intros & Banter (02:12–05:40)

• Shane Torres (comic touring on the Desperate and Celebrating Tour)
• Sienna Hubert-Ross (comic and Terrifier 3 actress)
• Ralph Sutton (SDR Show host, GaS Digital co-owner)

Memorable Quotes:

• Luis: “Sex, drugs, and rock and roll—that’s how we describe the panel.”
• Shane, deadpan: “If I’m drugs, it’s just antidepressants.”

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Notable Stories & Segments

1. Public Hookup with a Burn Victim

Storyteller: Big Jay Oakerson
Timestamp: 08:55–17:42

• At a Korn concert, Jay hooked up backstage with a woman whose lower body was heavily scarred from a fire. Despite surprise, he continued, “because I just didn’t want to hurt her feelings.”

Memorable Quote:

• Jay (15:16): “It looked like she rode a horse made of fire. … It was just her inner thighs, stopped somehow with her pussy—of course, my luck—and then continued down the other leg like Freddy Krueger’s cheeks.”

2. Sex Party Invite Gone Wrong

Storyteller: Sienna Hubert-Ross
Timestamp: 20:37–25:32

• At 18, Sienna was invited by a lesbian to what turned out to be a sex party for married women. It was her first open bar; she ended up too drunk and got kicked out before making it to the VIP sex area.
• Sienna (25:02): “I ended up being kicked out of the sex party for being too young. … I was still a virgin.”

3. Fake-It-Till-You-Fail Rock Band Tryout

Storyteller: Ralph Sutton
Timestamp: 26:53–34:08

• Ralph claimed to be able to play bass to join a friend’s band. He was exposed at a studio session for not knowing the basics and asked to leave in front of a crowd. The guitarist went on to actual music fame.

4. First Time on LSD—Public Nudity

Storyteller: Luis J. Gomez
Timestamp: 38:16–45:13

• At 19, Luis took too much acid, got naked in a public park gazebo, and ran around among friends: “We’re free spirits! Yay!”
• Debate breaks out over whether Luis’s stories are always about getting naked and messing with friends on drugs.

5. Fingering Orgy in a Nightclub

Storyteller: Sienna Hubert-Ross
Timestamp: 53:42–62:11

• At a club as a teen model, Sienna and two girls started fooling around; two more joined: “Literally, everyone just, like, looking. It was crazy. … the only time I’ve ever had like an orgy.”
• Panel Reaction: (Entire room, men and women alike, are floored and ask for more details in both shocked and comedic tones.)
• Jay (55:47): "We're all just stalling because we don't want to come at the same time."
• Ralph (62:13): "Can you let Ralph smell your fingers while you tell it?"

6. Thanksgiving Drug Raid

Storyteller: Shane Torres
Timestamp: 66:37–74:28

• Shane’s drug dealer brothers attracted a cop raid on Thanksgiving; his Irish priest uncle panicked and nearly had a heart attack. After the raid (“they’d been to the house so many times”), his uncle had to be taken to the hospital.

7. Surgical Mishap: The Wrong Toe

Storyteller: Ralph Sutton
Timestamp: 78:26–82:44

• Recovering from foot surgery with painkillers, Ralph didn’t realize his OTHER toe was wrapped too tightly. When unwrapped, the little toe was black. “They had to massage my little tiny toe for like an hour or two to get blood back into it.”

8. One-Night Stand: The Face Punch Request

Storyteller: Big Jay Okerson
Timestamp: 85:34–93:45

• During a Grand Rapids comedy club one-night stand, Jay’s date—an MMA fighter—demanded to be punched in the face during sex. He declined: “I went, oh, you got the wrong guy.”

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Table Talk & Running Gags

• Endless ribbing of Ralph’s sex life, height, and age.
• Luis and Jay joust for points, expose each other’s embarrassing secrets, and trash each other’s stories.
• Sienna’s stories prompt repeated “boner checks” amid uproarious, often self-deprecating male reactions.
• The “Sultan” in the audience becomes a running bit for international flavor.

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Final Scores & Overtime Showdown

Going into Final Overtime:

• Tie: Luis J. Gomez & Shane Torres (18 points)
• Ralph Sutton: 17 points
• Big Jay Okerson: 16
• Sienna: 8

Final Tiebreaker (Story #9): "The Only Time I Bought Cocaine Was for a Girl Who Wanted to Snort It Off My Body"

• Big Jay wrote the story about a woman who requested coke to snort off his body. Both Luis and Shane had to bet their points, then guess the writer. Luis correctly guessed Jay and bet the max, winning with a record score.

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Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Sienna’s Nightclub Story:
  Jay (61:33): “Were you guys, like, kissing each other and feeling each other’s tits?”
  Sienna: “Like literally having sex at a club. It was crazy.”

• On Jay’s Burn Victim Hookup:
  Jay (15:16): “It looked like she rode a horse made of fire. …”

• On Winning
  Alex (103:24): “Your winner tonight with 36 points—the highest score of any game without septuple points—Luis J. Gomez!”

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Key Timestamps

• Game Explanation: 05:24–06:56
• Story 1 (Burn Victim): 08:55–17:42
• Story 2 (Sex Party): 20:37–25:32
• Story 5 (Nightclub Orgy): 53:23–62:11
• Story 6 (Thanksgiving Raid): 66:37–74:28
• Story 8 (Face Punch): 85:34–93:45
• Tiebreaker/Final Winner: 95:13–103:24

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Tone & Chemistry

The episode’s energy is a mix of raunchy bravado, infectious laughter, genuine camaraderie, playful trash talk, and occasional heartfelt or awkward honesty. Sienna’s wild confessions both delight and scandalize the rest of the table, while Ralph, Shane, Luis, and Jay riff with classic comic timing and riff on each other’s flaws and life histories.

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Closing Thoughts

If you love brutally honest, unfiltered comedy storytelling and hearing comedians out-embarrass each other with tales of sex, drugs, and regretful decisions, this "Sex, Drugs, & Rock & Roll" edition of Story Warz is not to be missed. The combination of raw personal anecdotes, clever game strategy, and jaw-dropping reveals keeps both panel and audience howling from start to finish.

Winner:
Luis J. Gomez (36 points—record score)

Transcript

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[D]

We got some more hoodies coming soon to get ready for the fall. Do not forget we're doing a special meet and greet at Skank Fest exclusively for fans who come in their official merch. So do not delay. Head on over to story wars merch.com to get your gear and rep the show you love.

[A]

What's going on? Story Warriors? If you love Story wars and you want to be a part of the live audience, come out to the New York Comedy Club every Wednesday night at 7:45pm to be a part of the show.

[D]

Don't be a piece of. Just get your tickets and come. It's fun.

[A]

Buck face New York Comedy club dot com.

[D]

Fill her up.

[E]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[D]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with.

[A]

The Story Warriors, Big J Okerson and Lewis J. Cole.

[D]

That's good energy. What is up New York City? Welcome to Story Awards. That's a good crowd.

[A]

Another sold out show here at the New York Comedy Club. We record every Wednesday night. If you guys want to get in, get those tickets early because we do sell out every week.

[D]

We always ask this of our crowds here, our sold out capacity crowds. Who here is familiar with the game Story Wars?

[A]

Nice. And who is not familiar with Story Wars? A lot. A lot of people tonight. That's a lot. A lot more than usual. Well, if you guys want to get a refund, now's the time because we don't do it after the show.

[D]

No, this is our friendly show. They're fine.

[A]

That is true. We also have the the organizer of the Riyadh Comedy Festival came tonight which is pretty sick, dude. Thank you for being here tonight. You guys are the best.

[D]

Thank you guys are doing what's up, your highness.

[A]

It's the prince of Saudi Arabia right there, guys.

[D]

Thank you, your highness. What's up, dude? He gave us $3 million to do this show to. So fuck you guys if you're mad at me. We do for the first timers here. We will explain the show momentarily once we get our amazing, amazing lineup in here. Our first guest tonight, you know I'm from the desperate and celebrating tour happening right now. You can get tickets at Punchup live. How about it for the hilarious Shane Torres in the house?

[A]

Shane, first time on Story wars. Very happy to have you here.

[E]

Yeah, thanks man.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[E]

Yeah, I'm excited to be here.

[A]

It's gonna be a fun show. Hopefully you win. Our next competitor tonight is a returning story wars competitor. You know her from her appearance in the movie Terrifier 3. Hilarious comedian going viral all over the place. Ladies, I'm gonna clap it up for Sienna here. Hubert ross, come on.

[C]

Terrifier 3.

[D]

She was in Terrifier 3. She was in terrifier 3.

[A]

Wow, Shane, you've never looked grosser.

[E]

I know. Not a lot of people look good next to something. This.

[D]

If I saw you two late night at a bar, I'd go for you, Shane, because you'll say yes.

[A]

Shade's more attainable.

[D]

Sit there and wrestle around and listen to Sienna's hopes and dreams all night. I'm just gonna grab your hand and be like, let's go. I got snacks in the bed.

[E]

The flamin hot Cheeto night.

[D]

Yeah. Last but not least, our final contestant joining us on the stage. He is one of the co owners with this lunk at Gas Digital network and one of the hosts of the SDR show. How about it for my old work husband, the great Ralph Sutton in the house. Ralph knows old rock, Ralph knows older. Rob stars, Ralph's friends.

[A]

This is like a, like a beautiful sandwich on old rotten bread.

[D]

Just so you know, I know Ralph and Ralph thinks he can get her. Oh sure, Sienna, you probably could.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Sienna is somewhat damaged if you've ever seen her videos on Instagram.

[D]

Yeah, that's right, she is damaged. For those of you first time here and those of you listening at home for the very first time, Story awards is a very, very simple game. Everybody on this panel, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, Louis.

[A]

Sex, drugs and rock and roll.

[D]

Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

That's also, that's also how we describe the panel. Sex, drugs and rock and Roll.

[C]

Which one am I?

[A]

You're rock and roll.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Aw.

[D]

I'm your pure sex.

[E]

Yeah. If I'm drugs, it's just antidepressants. So it's.

[D]

Yeah. Sex, Zoloft and rock and roll. Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

That was the Bobby Kelly vehicle. Right.

[D]

Alex, our lovely producer, is going to read those stories off one at a time. Eight of them, in fact. And if it is your story, you're the only person who knows that. It is your job to make everybody think it is not your story. If it is not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[A]

And every time you guess a story correctly, you get two points. And for every person you fool when it is your story, you get one point. So if it's your story, you have the opportunity to get four points. Those are huge opportunities when it is your story. Once you write your answer on the dry erase board. Put the dry erase board in this little slot right here and remove your hand. That's it. That's your final answer. You cannot change it. And I'll tell you right now, you guys are about to have the most fun you've ever had on a podcast. But we don't play for fun, folks. Jay, let them know what we're playing for.

[D]

Fun. Every week here on Story wars, we are playing for a book from the Story Wars Library.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

Tonight's winner takes home Sing you Home by Jodi Picol.

[C]

That's one of my favorite authors, actually.

[E]

What if we've already read it?

[D]

Well, if you haven't, Sing youg Home follows Zoe Baxter, a music therapist who has spent 10 years trying to have a baby. After her marriage falls apart, she's left with nothing but a few frozen embryos that represent her last chance at motherhood. As Zoe starts rebuilding her life, she begins to wonder what family really means and how far she's willing to go to have one. Sing you home, Jody. Peculiar.

[C]

Do I have to take the book if I win?

[D]

Well, I mean, how dare you?

[A]

It's a treasured trophy, Ralph.

[D]

How dare you? I mean, Depends who you think. Sometimes trophies are treasure. Sometimes they're thrown out with the garbage like all of our other books. But we'll get past that.

[A]

We've gotten past that.

[D]

We've gotten past that.

[A]

The New York Comedy Club received, I think, about 31 star reviews after they got rid of our library.

[D]

Oh, small price. Small price, I say.

[A]

They called me. They were like, can you call off the dogs?

[D]

Where are my books? I yelled into the phone, Those books are priceless all right. I think everybody understands it. Who's gonna understand it if you don't? You'll pick it up as it goes along. I think we're ready for war. What do you guys think?

[A]

Come on, now.

[D]

Come on, everybody in here. Are we ready for war? The sultan says I'm always ready for war.

[A]

Wait. Are we really having war right now?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

War.

[D]

Alex, story number one, please.

[F]

Story number one. I met someone at a concert who wanted to hook up. We found a spot where we could, and when they took their pants off, their lower body was completely scarred from a fire they had survived. It was too late to back out.

[E]

Yeah, you monsters.

[A]

I said to that girl, oh, you monster. That wasn't my story. It wasn't. I mean, look, public hookup, that is a me thing all the way. It turns me on. At a concert is fun, but I.

[D]

Would know if you. At a concert.

[A]

You would know if I fucked at a concert. I feel like Ralph is too large to. In a public space.

[D]

Very true.

[A]

Like, that giant is molesting a burn victim in the corner of that Styx concert.

[D]

Backstage a lot, though, guy.

[C]

Yeah, and also tracks with the whole Frankenstein vibe. It does make sense.

[A]

That is true.

[D]

Fire.

[A]

One time I was at a skid row concert, and they made me alive with lightning.

[C]

And the fire part. Fire. Frank's time. Makes sense.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Shut up, Ralph. Stop playing the game so good.

[A]

I don't think it's Ralph. Sienna. Would Sienna hook up in public?

[B]

No, I would never. I think it's Big J, honestly.

[D]

Really.

[B]

I think you're good enough to. Thank you have sex with a fire victim.

[D]

Oh, that I would. A fire victim. That does seem me.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Well, I.

[E]

They're not Hamas. They're just people who are in an accident.

[A]

I mean, look, I do get it, though, because I've, like, gotten girls naked. And then you see that. What's underneath? You're like, well, we're here.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I assume that's what every girl thinks with me. And I go, I know, right? I feel that.

[E]

I feel like they just know what they're in for with guys like us.

[D]

Like, they must, right?

[E]

Yeah. They're like.

[D]

They're somehow.

[A]

Do you think people see you with their clothes on?

[D]

Like you're jacked, buddy, I don't know what it is, but see me with my clothes off. I do have a feeling like I'm like, no one had any idea it would look like this. Not that I look jacked, just that it's not. They thought it Was going to be even better somehow. And I'm like, no, I know. I'm always letting you like the T.

[E]

Shirt in the pool. You're like, well, now it's sticking to you.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

So much worse.

[D]

Never wore a T shirt, a pool, for that very reason.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Shane is a sweetheart of a guy. I've worked with Shane a lot. He's genuinely a good person for all intents and purposes. I could see. And you also seem like you couldn't get much higher than a burn victim, so I feel like this.

[E]

I am also a deviant in a lot of different ways.

[C]

So are you.

[D]

Yeah. So he's into burn victims.

[E]

What?

[D]

So you're super into burn victims now?

[E]

I wouldn't say super. I don't think they're heroes. I just, you know.

[A]

That'S the type of gasoline they use to light her body on fire.

[D]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. It was more salty. You can't be the only one laughing at that joke.

[A]

He's like, I love jokes about gas.

[D]

Setting woman on fire. Good.

[A]

More oil jokes.

[D]

That guy rules. The princess does not enjoy it quite as much, but the sultan himself is good. So we will leave with our heads.

[A]

His 14th virgin wife is not having a good time right now.

[D]

She's just tired. She's tired.

[A]

I'm getting some Shane Torres vibes over here.

[B]

I think it's either you or big.

[C]

J. I actually think the same way.

[E]

I actually think it's you.

[B]

I would never. A burn victim, I think.

[E]

Well, I just can't see anybody else looking at the rest of this panel, man, like, oh, man.

[A]

You.

[D]

What?

[E]

Really got me going after this killers concert. I'd love to. Some guy at a casual Male xl. Ben.

[A]

Yeah. Women aren't nice like that.

[C]

I think a girl has no problem backing out. A girl has no problem backing out.

[A]

I'm.

[C]

I'm gonna lock in early. It's shame. Sorry, guys. It is definitely.

[A]

I'm also agreeing with Ralph Sutton. Shane Torres.

[D]

Are you?

[A]

Is my answer.

[E]

Ah.

[D]

I think it's Shane, too, but I know I'm gonna get. This is gonna be. I spell this right, I'm gonna hit you.

[E]

If it's you that says J. I.

[D]

Would be shocked if it's.

[A]

Sienna. Really? I think it's Sienna.

[D]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

I feel like him choosing me makes it like a tent.

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You know, that is true.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's so obviously not you. Shane couldn't think beyond his.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

He's just like, well, that would be cool.

[A]

All right. All of Our answers are in Alex, whose story was story number one.

[F]

Story number one belongs to Big J. I was right.

[A]

I was right. Wow.

[C]

God damn it.

[E]

Nice.

[A]

This girl's losing her mind in the back. She's gonna. I was right.

[E]

I was right.

[A]

I was right.

[C]

I had a 50.

[D]

50.

[C]

I thought it was either one.

[B]

I thought it was.

[D]

I knew she called it early.

[A]

And I do know that Jay would not back out at that moment. Not because he's horny. It's because you just don't want to hurt this girl's feelings. Her life has been non stop. Hurt feelings.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

How was it?

[D]

Oh, man. Quick. How much burn.

[C]

How much burning are we talking?

[D]

Well, we tell the story now, guys who know the game, apparently. Yeah. It was when I was opening for Corn. So I'd been on stage, and this girl, she was throwing it. She wanted to hook up. So we went onto the tour bus into the back lounge, and I, like, got there. She was sitting on the bench, and I was pulling her pants down. As I pull her pants down, which, by the way, I'm definitely getting ready to eat her. Buzzy. I lined up for that very thing. And then when I got the pants up like this and took them off.

[A]

It was char broiled. So, buddy.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. Flame broiled. I had it my way. You know, if you play, if you.

[E]

Put your ear next to it, they'll tell you who started the fire.

[D]

Yeah. No.

[E]

It was her stepfather.

[D]

I don't know. I don't know if she. What the accident possibly could have been. It looks like she rode a horse made of fire. It was just her inner thighs stopped somehow with her pussy. Of course, my luck. And then continued back on down the other lake like Freddy Krueger's cheeks. And it was too late.

[A]

You saw the heads of teenage souls coming out of her lights. Help us, Jay.

[E]

It's just that woman who spilled the coffee from McDonald's on her lap. This is why we need tort reform.

[D]

She. And then how quickly I snaked my way from, like, my head being down there to, like, hey, let's kiss. And then mustered it up to get through this because I was exactly like Lewis said. Like, I was just like, dude, this is. This moment right here has stopped for her 500 times.

[A]

Do you think a lot of guys have walked away?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Was there any discussion about it at all?

[A]

No.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What if you told?

[D]

So I noticed. She just goes. I swear, she was almost like. She goes. Yeah. She goes. I was in a fire. And I went. I almost made a face Like, I was like, no. I almost made a face. Like, I was like, we. And I was like, oh, shit. I didn't even. Yeah, no, I was. I was like, I wasn't even looking because she saw me actively not looking. I was like.

[A]

What if she took your clothes off? And she was like, no, I'm okay.

[D]

Oh, dude, now it hurts so much. Yeah. She goes, oh, you were in a fire too? No, that's stretch marks, you cunt.

[E]

I. I had the same. Not that, but like, this. I was making out with this woman. We went on our first date, and she was like. I took her top off and she goes, I have, like, burns from a car accident I was in, and it was fine. Like, it was. It was like I was. I couldn't even. I wouldn't have even noticed if she had said so. This must have been a lot jarring. Yeah. Yeah. This was like. Oh, like when I was seven, I put my thumb on an iron. Like, I was just like, I don't. I can't be that choosy.

[D]

You saw parts of her body you're not supposed to see.

[E]

Like, the inside.

[D]

Yeah, it was. It all looked like inside. The outside look like the inside.

[A]

All right, Alex, tell us. I mean, I already know the points, Brad, but for the people that don't understand how it works.

[F]

All right, on the scoreboard, in first place with four points pulled, everybody. Big J Okerson.

[A]

Early lead. And we. We didn't notice this on the show last week, which people have already seen it online at this point, but last week, our winner was Karen Feehan. She was the only person to ever win that didn't have a story actually pulled because all the stories are randomly pulled. She didn't have a story pulled, and she still ended up winning the entire game, which is.

[D]

Seems almost impossible, but she did it, so, yeah, it can be done. Yeah.

[A]

So Jay is an early lead, but it doesn't really mean much.

[D]

Oh, I didn't realize the whole example was to fucking delegitimize my fucking awesome round. There he goes. Just so you know, this means nothing for nothing. It's make that up in a blink.

[A]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment and thank Mando for supporting the show. Supporting the show for a long time. Mando got us covered, both literally and figuratively with whole body deodorant. That gets the job done. Not just your armpits anymore. I use Mando on my balls regularly now. I do a little triangle of smelling good armpit. Armpit balls. Bang.

[D]

Oh, ass Crack ass, fold under tit.

[A]

Oh, you go everywhere.

[D]

Oh, I'm just talking place you can go. I don't think I have all these things. You son of a. Jay.

[A]

Smells like my grandmother's purse.

[D]

Yeah, I have to use a full stick of Mando to get all my.

[A]

Flaps and traps clinically controlled to control sweat and odor for 72 hours. You know, after just 12 hours, underarm sweat is reduced by a whopping 92%. And Jay, I know you love Whoppers.

[D]

Now, Alex, is your face because he said controlled by controlled. Yeah, I had a feeling that's why that face was.

[A]

Hey, dude, I'm stupid. There's no man for your brain. Dude, I'm stupid.

[D]

That's a great way out of anything. Look, if you're a new guys, you know I'm stupid.

[A]

If you're a new customer to Mando, you should try their starter pack, which is a pretty incredible product. It comes with solid stick deodorant, cream tube deodorant, and two products of your choice, like the mini body wash and the deodorant wipes, which I bring everywhere I go. And it's all free shipping, which is pretty incredible. And for a special offer for Story wars fans, new customers are getting 20 off site wide with our exclusive code, which is WARS W A R Z. Very easy to remember. Arz W A R [e-mail] 20 off site wide. Great, great products, great gifts for that man in your life that might stink. Shopmando.com all right, where were we? Alex? Story number two.

[F]

Story number two. I was invited to a party where there was a VIP area that was a sex party. I never made it there because it was my first party with an open bar, and I got so drunk that I kept throwing up in the bathroom.

[A]

So I feel.

[D]

I mean, everyone thinks this is Sienna for sure.

[C]

Yeah, 100%.

[A]

I was gonna say Sienna, but I'll tell you right now, Sienna is a very funny comic. And the amount of times that this person used the word party is driving me out of my mind, like a comic would. And Ralph's not a standup comic. So that is like, almost like a tell in the way that it's written. And if this is you, I'm saying you need to get to a writing class.

[D]

Yeah, Louis J. Gomez teaches Economy of Words over at the Learning Annex on Sundays.

[A]

Well, parties twice in the first sentence.

[E]

These are little three act structure work.

[D]

You know, maybe I was invited to a gathering where the VIP was a sex party.

[A]

Perhaps it's A different word.

[C]

I feel there's no way that a guy is going to get caught up at the bar if he's. The first time he's at a sex party. That's just my thinking.

[E]

I was invited to a party.

[C]

Let me say a different way. I don't think a party with a sex party would be someone. I'm using party a lot to confuse you guys.

[B]

I think it's Ralph.

[D]

It could be Ralph.

[E]

I find it hard to believe that any one of the men up here that their first open bar was also a sex partner.

[D]

That's what I'm having a hard time with.

[E]

Like, that's like my main.

[D]

Seems like a pretty girl would end up in that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

It doesn't seem like, oh, you know who I'd love to have in my party is these. The Dallas Cowboys 1994 offensive line.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Also, you know what? I'm writing Sienna, because I'll tell you this.

[C]

I'm locking in first.

[D]

I'll tell you this. Never made it there. If a guy was drunk at a party and threw up in the bathroom afterwards, you'd go like, well, I'm gonna go watch the sex party for a little bit. Yeah, like, you're not gonna leave it. You're not gonna go. Ah, dude, fuck the sex party. I'm sick.

[C]

One other thing. None of us are being invited to the VIP area of a sex party.

[A]

Yeah, VIP area, sex party, drunk in the bathroom, didn't go. It is screaming Sienna. But also Ralph is. Ralph is deceptively woman like. Yes.

[C]

And also a huge creep.

[D]

Low tolerance.

[E]

Louis been awful quiet until just now though.

[D]

Lose his first party. Wouldn't be a sex.

[A]

I mean, my first.

[D]

No way.

[A]

I don't dress well enough to get invited to a VIP area. I would make it to that in my. I mean, I'm a sex addict basically. There's no way I'm not making it to the sex. But even if I have to breathe my hot pukey breath in these poor underage hookers faces, I will.

[C]

I will say this.

[D]

If it's either the they're already paid. You lose respect for all three of you.

[C]

Would you say I would lose respect for you if that's what happened at a sex party?

[A]

Oh, yeah. You know, I'm making it to that sex party. Sienna. I'm trying to not vote for you and I'm trying to extend the amount of time around two, but there's just no other way. She's not even denying it. She just keeps going.

[E]

She's Twirling her hair a lot.

[F]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

It's.

[E]

So I met this Roy guys guy named Jeffrey.

[C]

And.

[A]

If this is Big J again, oh my God, the game's over.

[D]

You know, I'm not a big drinker.

[A]

You're not a big drinker and you're a bit of a pussy hound.

[D]

I would love to go to a party where the VIP was a sex party. But I'm telling you, I'd have made it there. I'd have got there.

[A]

All of her answers are in.

[F]

Story number two. Belongs to Sienna Hubert Ross.

[B]

Of course I. I had an edited version. I sent her the wrong. Wrong story. This is like the first draft. I had a better sentence.

[A]

She used the word party so many times.

[B]

Yeah, this is like. I wrote this like hungover last night. But yeah, it was a sex party.

[A]

Where was this at? New York City?

[B]

Yeah, Lower east side. I was 18.

[A]

Oh, Toy.

[B]

Yeah, I didn't have. I obviously didn't have sex. But it was also a lesbian invited me. It was a lesbian sex. Well, it was like straight women that were cheating on their husbands.

[A]

Hold on. The sultan's gonna come ye.

[D]

Oh, someone's gonna be wife. 18. You play your cards right.

[B]

Yeah, no, I was 18. I was still a virgin. A girl had invited me. I thought it was just a normal party, but then it was a sex party where it was just like a bunch of like married women in a room. But I never, you know, had an open bar before. So I got so drunk that I grew up everywhere and I was. I ended up beginning kicked out of the sex party for being too young.

[A]

They still kicked you out?

[B]

Well, yeah. Cause I was like 18. You're still to be like 21. And I didn't have sex and I just got drunk. It was like my first time getting really drunk.

[A]

Wow, this story.

[D]

But not your first time getting gang banged by housewives?

[A]

I didn't realize this. I didn't realize this story was going to be so hot.

[D]

Yeah, dude, boner check.

[E]

It's good thing these tables are here.

[A]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

And then what happened? What?

[A]

All the guys in the room are just going, yeah.

[D]

Were they kissing?

[E]

What if the hair smells?

[D]

Wives were like eating pussies and whatever.

[B]

No, it's crazy. They were all eating pussy and they all had like wedding rings on.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Funny you picked that up. Blackout drunk.

[A]

Well, Sienna is half black, so she was looking at all the people's jewelry.

[D]

She was clocking the joint.

[A]

Yeah, I get it. All right, Alex, two stories down. Where are points at all Right.

[F]

In last place with zero points, Sienna, Hubert Ross.

[B]

Thank you, guys. Thank you.

[F]

Tied for second place with two points each, Luis J. Gomez.

[E]

Wow.

[F]

Jason Torres and Ralph Sutton. And in the lead with six points, Big J Okerson.

[A]

Well, Alex, Story number three.

[F]

Story number three. When I was a teenager, I tried to learn how to play an instrument. I joined a band, but got kicked out in front of a studio filled with people when they realized that I knew nothing. The guitarist went on to be pretty successful.

[C]

Wasn't Lewis. You were in a band?

[A]

I was. I was. I was the drummer for Salty Black Flower. Shout out. Salty, Black Flower.

[D]

Salty Black Flower.

[A]

Yep.

[E]

Jesus Christ.

[A]

All right, Shane. You didn't even know an instrument. You got kicked out of the fucking band.

[D]

Isn't it Black Flower, Like F, L, O U, R. One word.

[A]

B, L, A, C, K, F L O U, R. Like a name like Ziggy Stardust.

[D]

Do you think any two words are like a name?

[A]

Although that's what it was. My lead singer was like. That was his, like, alternate ego with Salty. Black Flower.

[D]

Who says alternate? The full word. Alter ego.

[C]

This alternative.

[A]

His alternative.

[D]

I like Clark Kent. His alternative ego. The alternative to Superman.

[B]

I think it's definitely you, Big J.

[D]

I was never in a band in my life.

[B]

No, because when we were in the green room, you were, like, saying how you'd rather be a musician than a comedian, and you're Coldplay.

[D]

I would, but I've never. You don't tell everyone I like Coldplay. I've told them already. I went, and I lose it.

[A]

Jay would be an annoyingly hilarious bassist. Like, dude, get off the mic. Shut the up, dude.

[D]

Yeah, I know. I'd be like, hey, I noticed everybody out there like, dude, dude, dude, I'm the singer. Shut up.

[A]

Up.

[D]

Getty Lee. Shut up. Guy from Offspring.

[E]

Dexter Holland.

[D]

Yes. He's a Rhodes scholar. I. I was never in a band, though. That is the truth.

[A]

Shane's got long hair. He knew the name of the guy from Offspring, which is. That's a little bit.

[E]

I had a radio in 1994.

[D]

Yeah, I knew it, too. I just.

[E]

Playing co. Yeah, that's crazy.

[B]

You'll.

[E]

You'll claim Coldplay, but you won't go to Ops, right?

[D]

Come on, dude. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, Something, something.

[A]

Well, now I think it's J. I mean, he just faked it so perfectly now in front of us.

[D]

What are you talking, Ralph? Because I was in a band with Wolfgang Van Halen for a little bit, who went on to become a pretty successful guitarist.

[C]

Do you still play drums?

[A]

I have a drum set still.

[D]

Me, too, dude.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But I was never insulted.

[A]

Ralph has no musical abilities at all. He's a very rock and roll guy. Interviews a lot of rock stars, knows a lot of rock stars, and knowing somebody that went on to be pretty successful would be typical of a Jew. Just so he's a Jew.

[D]

Ralph, without ever learning an instrument or picking up any music skill whatsoever, leaped from. And I know him very closely to know this. He leaped from what he believed to be professional break dancer. I was, what, In a movie to. He's not in a. God, I'm in the movie. He's not. I am. Look at Crush Groove. He says it. He's not in it. I've watched it a hundred times. You went right from spinning on your knees. The Glide Wizard.

[C]

Yes, that's right.

[D]

To becoming. That was his name. The Glide Wizard.

[C]

Glide Wizard. Gee whiz.

[D]

For sure. Gee whiz.

[C]

Some people say gee whiz when they see me. Like, oh, my God. Gee Whiz. How do you do that? You talk about Salty Black Flower.

[D]

Gee Whiz is just as good. So Gee Whiz is as legitimate as Salty Black Flower. I'm feeling willing to say that.

[E]

So none of us think it's Sienna, though.

[D]

No, they don't.

[A]

Just let her be in the band.

[C]

In my instinct, it's one of them, for sure.

[D]

You know, I was never in a band, but this means.

[C]

You were never in a band.

[A]

Yeah, this. You were.

[D]

Oh, it's, like, joined.

[E]

It's been. You tried to be in a band?

[D]

It says they joined the band.

[E]

I. I joined a band, but got kicked out in front of a studio filled with people when they realized I knew nothing.

[A]

That's a tell for people who, if it's their story, when they start reading it back, that's typically a tell.

[D]

Oh, that is a shadow room. Oh, my God. That is a good.

[A]

Shan. Do you play any instruments?

[E]

Yeah, I do.

[A]

What do you play?

[E]

I was a vocal performance major in college, so.

[A]

Really, you're a singer?

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Your instrument, Your beautiful voice. Guitar.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

It's not beautiful. It's a. Oh, good.

[A]

Hold on. Somebody's playing a backing track for you. Shane. Shane, it's time for you to.

[E]

They found my cover of Black Flower.

[D]

Salty. Sorry?

[E]

Salty Blad.

[D]

The alternate ego of the lead singer.

[E]

I think. I think it's. I do think it's Jay. Because it. I just. I don't know why, but I got a hunch. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[D]

Despite the fact that for sure. A thousand percent. I've never been in a band. This person. If I joined a band, I was super talented person.

[E]

Whoever they were.

[D]

If I was in a band for six minutes, I would have had it tattooed on me already. It would probably be called Legion of Skanks.

[C]

I'm changing my school, my game. I trusting you guys that when they read a story back like that, it's because they're not used to it.

[A]

I'm gonna say I think Ralph is doing.

[C]

I just.

[E]

But I am.

[D]

Oh, that could be a good deflection.

[E]

But I really. God damn it.

[D]

You know what?

[E]

You're a crafty.

[A]

I am a crafty.

[D]

I'm going.

[A]

My vote is Ralph Sutton. Thank you for the backup. My Puerto Rican friend. My Puerto Rican brother in the corner.

[D]

I'm going with Louis J.

[A]

Go waste your vote, idiot.

[D]

The only person in the room.

[A]

What a fool. I'm glad you took your dumb hand away.

[D]

The only person in the room. No, you're not. You're furious about it.

[A]

Nope.

[D]

The only per.

[A]

It's killing you.

[D]

We're gonna see in five seconds how much it.

[A]

Why would I have three points?

[D]

We thought you were sweeping. And it didn't. I came in and got two more points. It's gonna your world up. You're the only person up here for sure that was in a band. You're the only person whose personality would get them kicked out of that band.

[A]

When they realized I knew nothing. I knew how to play drums.

[D]

No, you don't. Neither do I. We just have them.

[A]

Nope.

[E]

Jamie, I didn't say I was never in a band.

[D]

Ah.

[A]

This is probably Shane. Me. Alex. Look at his pretty eyes. You Shane?

[F]

Story number three belongs to Ralph Sutton.

[A]

Yeah. How does it feel to be such a dumb.

[D]

Can't say. How nice to be such a. You know what I thought? Do you know, I thought your successful guitarist friend was.

[A]

Who? Dave Green.

[D]

Your friend.

[A]

He's not successful at all.

[D]

I thought he was sort of.

[A]

I think he collects antiques.

[D]

Okay. Didn't say he was successful as a guitarist.

[A]

And I wasn't kicked out of Salty Black Flower. We dissolved the band after three years. Ralph, tell us the story. What? First of all, what. What did you tell them you played bass. Bass. That is the instrument? Yeah.

[C]

I knew like two notes, kind of. And the guy. A friend of mine was singing and I said, oh, I can kind of play bass. I had a bass. And we went in. It was very obvious almost immediately that I had no idea what I was doing. He was yelling at Me playing E, I'm like, I don't know what a fucking E is. And then they threw me out in front of everybody. Like the studio was filled with like their girlfriends and everything. And he kicked me out of the fucking studio. And he's been in a. He was with a bunch of bands.

[A]

Ralph had an upright bass.

[C]

He was in Rock of Ages. He was in the Smith.

[E]

He just pretends it's a gun. The whole.

[C]

He went on to do a lot of different bands. He was in Flock of Seagull, Smithereens. Oh, yeah, he did a lot of stuff. And he played for Rock of Ages.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

The career sucks.

[A]

Yeah, Ralph. Ralph just got some points there. Alex, where our points at after three stories?

[F]

All right, in last place with two points, Sienna, Hubert Ross.

[E]

Way to go.

[F]

In fourth place with three points, Ralph Sutton. Tied for second place with four points each, Luis J. Gomez and Shane Torres.

[E]

It's our Latino rock lock.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[F]

And in the lead with six points, Big J. Okerson.

[D]

Everyone's creeping up on my ass. Plus, everyone wants to go home with Sing you Home, which follows Zoe's decision to use the embryos that she and her ex husband created years ago. But when her ex Max becomes a born again Christian, he refuses to let her move forward. What begins as a private decision becomes a legal battle over ownership, morality. And what defines a parent. For Zoe, it's not just about science or law. It's about protecting the dream she's fought her entire life for. Up for grabs. Up for grabs. Hey, real quick, let's talk about one of our awesome sponsors over here at Story wars, and that is Harry's razors. Ooh, good stuff. I love a good razor. And Lewis, I've answered my own question on this. I asked you recently, is Harry's good for shaving your beans? The answer is yes, it is, of course.

[A]

Look, Harry's their barber shop. Barbershop quality shave with German engineered blades. You know, my Audi was German engineered, so this is how I know you know I love German engineered stuff. Anything German engineered I'm way on board with.

[D]

Well, you'd be surprised how much they have the aloe and vitamin E strip also, which I've used for years on the disposables. And it's one of the things I was worried wouldn't be the case on a. On a reusable razor. So this is pretty, pretty exciting.

[A]

You could ditch the dull blades, expensive refills and bumpy skin. And they also don't just make razors, by the way. They got a bunch of grooming essentials like shave gel and deodorant and body wash, all thoughtfully made, price to stock up and ready to be to be delivered right to your door. Big J Oakerson.

[D]

Yeah, well, that's what they did. They sent me the trial pack here, which is what you get right now. For a limited time, our story warriors can get the Harry's plus trial set for $10 at Harry's.com wars. It includes the Razor 15 blade cartridge, a 2 ounce foaming shave gel and a travel cover to protect your blaze. While you're on the go, you just go to Harry's H A R r y s harry's.com wars with a Z. And after you purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Support the show. Tell them story War sent you. Don't be a jerk off and just order it and not tell them that.

[A]

Sometimes people think if you don't use the code like you're spending more money. And it helps us. It doesn't. It hurts us.

[D]

Yeah, it hurts us so much.

[A]

Don't hurt us.

[D]

Pay less money and help us. You anyway. That's Harry's.com wars all right, where were we?

[A]

Still anybody's game. Stories down.

[D]

Story number four.

[F]

Story number four. The first time I took lsd, I got completely naked in public.

[D]

God, we all hope it's Sienna. Nobody wants to hear the story from anyone else.

[E]

You could just put a block over our heads and they'd be like, we still have no idea. Just black us out.

[A]

Well, look, I know this about Big J. No matter how much LSD he's on, he's never getting naked in public for sure.

[D]

Well, you also know the only time I've had LSD ever in my life was when you systematically fucked up and almost put in a situation where I already put it in my drink and then I had it. I did not get naked in public that night.

[A]

That is true. You've only had LSD one time and it was because your friend spiked you. I understand we dosed you bad friends. Sienna, have you taken LSD before for.

[B]

No.

[E]

Well, wow.

[C]

That was a terrible.

[A]

You know what, guys? She's so pretty. I believe her.

[D]

I believe her because I want to believe her.

[B]

I don't do drugs. I've never done a drug.

[A]

This is a lie.

[B]

Only alcohol. That's it.

[D]

That I don't not believe you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You've never done cocaine?

[B]

No, I've never.

[A]

Do you want to do some cocaine?

[D]

Not.

[B]

Not with you.

[D]

Fuck. Were You a drugs guy, Shane?

[E]

I've had my fun. Yeah, I've had my fun. I don't do drugs really anymore. I'll do shrooms every once in a while. And cocaine sometimes.

[A]

And a little bit of heroin sometimes. I'll do some ghb.

[E]

I will do cocaine if it is there.

[A]

That's the thing about cocaine. Technically, it's always there.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Sounds like there might be some cocaine in this audience. Yeah, said the guy who's been talking.

[A]

Sir, you've been talking so much that I believe you're on cocaine.

[D]

And it's definitely not fentanyl, this guy. It's coke. All right.

[A]

Let'S see, let's see, let's see. The Ralph has never done lsd. I know for a fact Jay's only done it once.

[C]

I believe Jay would know if you got naked. That's what I think.

[A]

This would be a story I would have told.

[C]

I think it's Shane because she sounded being sincere when she said she's never done any drugs.

[D]

I was gonna say, Shane doesn't seem like I want to get naked in public. But you were on lsd.

[E]

Yeah, but that's also like. I mean, you're not a guy who wants to get naked in public.

[D]

No, this is me. Or do lsd. Yeah. But I'm saying I wonder if a drug could get me to the point where I don't give a fuck.

[E]

That's what I'm wondering about you. Weirdly, that.

[D]

But I've only taken. I've only been dosed with lsd.

[A]

Here's the thing. I will confirm I shouldn't do this because want to win the game, but I will tell you right Now, I know 100% for a fact Jay's taking LSD one time against his will. We were all there. We almost stopped being friends because of it. I. I tried to. I tried to dose Ari Shafir, and then Shane Gillis saw me do it, and he told Ari.

[D]

And then you told.

[A]

I told Shane. I was like, dude, we're gonna get Ari back for do. And then Shane told Ari, and then on camera, this all on the Legion s podcast. We have it on camera. Ari switched beers with Big J. And it is. Watching it back is the most delightful thing ever. Top top five moments of any podcast.

[E]

I don't have any friends I would stay friends with after something like that. You guys really love each other.

[A]

He didn't talk to us for a full 48 hours. We were like, dude, Jay's quitting the podcast. He's not gonna be. That's a lot.

[D]

I was awake for all those 48 hours wondering why my friends did that to me.

[C]

Awaken.

[A]

You're on acid. Sometimes you just hold on to one question. It's just. Why would my friends do this to me?

[D]

I just sat on my first one, sat on my couch and watched four movies straight. I don't remember what they were. I remember watching all four movies and going like, why would they do that to me? Why me? I wouldn't do that to them.

[C]

Jay, you know every one of my drug stories because you were there for all of them. So that's definitely not me.

[A]

It's not Ralph. It's not Big James, Sienna or.

[D]

It's Sienna. Shane.

[E]

It's Lewis.

[B]

It's Lewis.

[E]

100%. Lewis is no problem.

[A]

Jay knows I have a. An above average size penis, right?

[D]

Not even sort of.

[A]

It's above average.

[E]

Yeah. What's the highest? You think everybody here's rocking a nine.

[A]

Incher, but not big enough to get naked. I don't give a how much lsd.

[E]

Lewis.

[D]

You're out of your mind.

[E]

Yeah, you're. You are free spirit.

[A]

I've never been that out of my mind on acid.

[B]

But this is a story you would.

[C]

This story that Jay would know. You would know the story about.

[A]

I would have told the story on the podcast. I told the huge. The high. Highest I've ever been. I told on the podcast before. So you know how high I've been on acid. I did not get naked.

[C]

That story would come up. There's no way. It wouldn't.

[D]

I.

[C]

It's definitely Shane.

[A]

It's definitely. I'm thinking it's Shane.

[E]

Why?

[C]

Or she's a great actress. It's one of the.

[A]

If it's Sienna.

[D]

Did you ever see terrifier 3? But you're tongue asking questions like that. Peep the game, bro.

[A]

I'm gonna vote for Shane. But I wish it was Sienna just so we could hear the story. God damn it.

[E]

I. I'm in. I fully believe it's Lewis.

[A]

Shane Torres.

[C]

If it's Lewis. It's wild that that story never came out.

[D]

Yeah. I'm gonna go fuck if it's Sienna. Fools. Boy, am I gonna get hard.

[A]

Oh, you're both fools.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

All right, everyone's answers are in. Alex.

[F]

All right. Story number four belongs to Lewis.

[E]

Oh, my God, you're slick.

[D]

What the.

[A]

Yeah, I definitely got naked on a bunch of acid. Took way too much acid with my friends.

[D]

This story's a lie.

[A]

No, it's true. In Fact, I've probably told it on Legion of Sanctuary. You just don't remember. Oh, yeah.

[D]

You just remembered it all of a sudden.

[A]

I don't know. No, I was with. With my friends. We got a wild amount of acid, got really fucked up in West Havisham, New York. And there's a gazebo at Pex Pond. And when I say public. It was public. It was in the gazebo. But it was just me and, like, two of my close friends. And I was like, we should just get naked. And I took all my clothes off and I just ran around the gazebo in circles.

[D]

With guys.

[A]

With guys? Yeah. No. Not a girl to be seen.

[D]

If you would have said. If you would have said I got completely naked with guys in public, I would have been with you.

[A]

There was no girl.

[D]

I convinced a bunch of guys to get naked with me in public.

[A]

No, they didn't get naked. They all were like, dude, what are you doing? It's like we're free spirits. Yay.

[D]

Tell the Sultan you're joking. For you. Takes your hand off.

[C]

Wow.

[E]

How old were you?

[A]

19.

[E]

Yeah, that's fine.

[D]

39.

[E]

Yeah, 30.

[A]

I was a young, young buck at the time. Alex, four stories down, where are our points at at halftime?

[F]

All right, in last place with three points, Ralph Sutton. In fourth place with four points, Sienna Hubert Ross. And tied for the lead with six points each.

[D]

Wow.

[F]

Lewis J. Gomez. Big J. Oy.

[E]

Mark of the beast, bro.

[D]

Triple six.

[E]

Yeah. Hail Satan.

[A]

Satan.

[E]

Somebody play some maiden.

[A]

All right, we're at the half.

[D]

Six, six, four, three. That means Satan. Love you.

[A]

Love you on our old beepers, Alex.

[D]

Crowd doesn't speak beeper.

[A]

We're at the halfway point of the show, which at this point, we always go around and we ask you guys to plug something. So, Ralph, obviously, the SDR show, but what else are you plugging, my friend?

[C]

At Skankfest, the SDR show is going to be with Savvy Sucks. A very beautiful porn star and her boyfriend. And the game we were playing is called Cocks, Cucks, Cunts and Couples. Anybody that wants to have sex with either of them. Both of them. Watch whatever you want. We're doing it at Skank Fest. Picking a winner. You're getting tested there. And that's the game.

[D]

Wait.

[A]

Unprotected sex.

[D]

There's no game. You just show up and fuck this up. There's a game that is a game.

[E]

Most Dangerous game.

[C]

You have to submit a video. The boys@the strshow.com. we're going to pick some finalists that have tickets to Skank Fest and we'll pick winners and we'll have a game figure.

[A]

Is it unprotected sex?

[D]

It is.

[C]

You have to get tested.

[A]

And it's unprotected. Sick.

[C]

You get tested.

[A]

I'm gonna join.

[D]

What's the. What's the signups for this?

[C]

And it's happening in New Orleans.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. In New Orleans. What a fun time.

[C]

Gorgeous. Savvy stuff.

[A]

I saw her video today. Very sexy.

[C]

Yeah. So submit a video to the [e-mail].

[A]

All right. Speaking of sexy. Next. Shane, where. Where are you going to be?

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Booyah.

[E]

I will be. When does this come out?

[A]

I don't care about two, three weeks.

[E]

Two, three weeks. I will be in New Orleans the week after Skank Fest Saturday this year. I won't miss it. Yeah. But I'm sure I'll still be able to smell everything that happened. I'll be in Dallas comedy club the weekend of Thanksgiving and just. Shanescommedian.com. oh, and I got a new podcast called Coastal. It's idiots. It's very weird.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Very cool. Very funny. Shane Torres. Hilarious. Sienna Hubert Ross. What are you plugging, girl?

[B]

I'll be in Indianapolis October 24th through the 26th at Helium and Houston at Riot Comedy Club November 6th and Cap City November 7th.

[D]

Hell yeah.

[A]

Go see Sienna on the road, guys. Don't be creeps.

[E]

Cap City's Austin, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Big J. Big J Okerson's Peter North American tour coming on a city near you. If you get it, you get it.

[C]

I get it.

[D]

I'm throughout the rest of the year and the first part of the year. Next year I'm every weekend. So look for a city near you on my website. Now you can pre order the double vinyl of them. They my double crowd work special with all kinds of packages, including some original artwork. The Download of all 4 hours uncut. And it's pretty cool. The artwork's fucking awesome. I'm pretty excited about it. Check that out. We got story wars happening at the Gramercy Theater in November for New York Comedy Festival. We have two story wars happening Thanksgiving weekend, the Wednesday before Thanksgiving in Philadelphia. I'll also be there that whole weekend headlining. And then what else? Comedy motherships coming up. Yep, a lot of fun stuff. Look forward to sitting near you and bonfire and of course, Legion of Skanks.

[A]

Yeah. Lots of live dates coming up. Go to my website, LewisOfScanks.com to grab tickets. I'll be in Chandler, Arizona, October 24th, 25th, then a bunch of great stuff coming up. Austin, Texas, we're doing a Body Brain Coffee presents the depraved on the 28th at the creek in the Cave. That's the the night before we're doing or I'm sorry, two nights later we're doing the the Austin Story War shows. Come see Story wars live at the Gramercy Theater. All that stuff. My next Special is premiering November 3rd on YouTube, guys, so go check that out.

[E]

Nice.

[A]

Gonna be in the pro before, right before Legion of Skank starts or one of these shorts or Story wars premieres. And Gas Digital will premiere at probably around 6 o' clock November 3rd. Check it out on YouTube. It's called you're making this worse. Make sure you subscribe to all of my podcasts, Legion of Skanks, the Regs, and my solo podcast that I do on my email list. And if you guys love the show, you should know that we have about 50 episodes that are not available anywhere else. You can only get them by subscribing to gas digital.com use the promo code WAR. You save a couple bucks a month, it supports the show directly. You get a bunch of unlocked episodes. They're all ad free, they're all uncensored. Plus you get pre release on all these episodes. If you're watching on YouTube right now, just so you know, you can watch it uncensored and ad free every Monday night with a bunch of racist comedy fans. It's really great. There is slap check rules. GasDigital.com is the website. Oh and pre order my book Knives and Spoons on Amazon right now.

[E]

Nice man.

[D]

Now. Well, we have reached the second half of the show, our final four stories and well, Ralph, you probably feel like a dumb piece of shit.

[C]

Yeah, I feel I cannot trust my instincts at all.

[D]

You're like, why don't I just go home? This is a waste of time.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Let me tell you, three points out of first place is nothing to be concerned about. Because for the final four stories, we go double points.

[A]

You look. You Ralph, you look confused.

[C]

I'm annoyed at myself. I'm not confused, I'm just mad.

[D]

I thought why would you be. Annoy yourself, buddy. You can make this up very, very easily. Because before if you fooled somebody, you got one point and if you guessed somebody correctly, you got two points. Now that actually moves to double.

[A]

The sultan loves the pageantry.

[D]

I know his wife's not allowed to laugh cuz she can't stare at other men.

[A]

He's like, this show is A whole new world.

[D]

I can see it. Me and loser get killed by a curvy sword.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Just a snake in a basket.

[D]

Meet my friend, Harvey.

[A]

All right, story warriors. Let's take a quick moment and thank Mint Mobile for supporting the show. We love Mint Mobile. And I'll tell you right now, you're probably overpaying for wireless. We're all overpaying for wireless. It's time to say yes to saying no. With Mint Mobile, their favorite word is no. No contracts, no monthly bills, no overages, no hidden fees, and no BS. Really incredible. Premium wireless Jay for. Check this out. 15 per month.

[D]

Oh, 15 per month. And they all have high speed data and unlimited talk and text delivered on the nation's largest 5G network. It's pretty amazing. You could use your own phone with any Mint Mobile plan and bring your number along with you and all your existing contacts. They make it as easy as possible. Why overpay if you don't have to? Are you ready to say yes to saying no? Well, make the switch right [e-mail] wars. That's Mint M I N T mobile.com wars with a Z upfront payment of 45 required, equivalent to 15 per month. Limited time customer offer for the first three months only. Speeds may slow. About 35 gigabytes on a limited plan. Taxes and fees, extra cement. Mobile for details.

[A]

Whoa, whoa, whoa. You really sped through that last part.

[D]

Yeah, that's all the bad news. Anyway, let's get back to the show. Alex, story number five.

[F]

Story number five. I was fingering these two girls at a club, and then two other girls asked if I could finger them too. So I fingered four girls in the club.

[D]

Damn. Sienna, hold on, hold on.

[C]

God.

[A]

There's one more sentence.

[D]

Oh, I know. I. Right ahead. I'm so hard.

[A]

God. Go ahead.

[F]

I was 18 years old.

[E]

Four fingers.

[A]

So you're saying that four different girls got double points?

[F]

Points.

[A]

Sienna, tell. Tell us why this isn't you and tell us why this isn't it.

[D]

Just tell me the story. Let's go to the next Everyone just.

[E]

Write down an ask to save time.

[C]

We'll.

[D]

We'll. We'll replace it with another story. But tell us this one. Tell us this one, Santa.

[A]

Even if it's not you, tell us this story. Sienna. Not only is this your story, this was the same night as the first story.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Yes. Yeah. Oh, you know what? I guess I puke and rallied now that I think of it.

[E]

Now, when you tell us this story, could you whisper it?

[D]

This is the Party where she got invited to the other party with the VIP sex club.

[E]

This is how she found all those wedding rings she was talking about earlier.

[D]

Yeah, like Sienna walked out of that sex party like a Jordan on the COVID of ESPN magazine where he's got all five rings on.

[E]

That's why it's not here. He didn't want to smell the whole thing.

[A]

It must be Sienna. We're gonna get our voting in a second. But I will say if it's not Sienna, whoever story this is is a jerk off. No, I was feeling with these two girls, you know, these other two girls.

[D]

So let me tell you something. This could be Ralph. He doesn't understand tone. And he would tell us like, so, you know, I was 18, so you know, what are you gonna do? You gotta finger a lot of girls.

[C]

What?

[D]

You guys didn't do that? That's his energy. He goes, oh, you guys didn't. You guys that weren't fingering.

[A]

Ralph regularly goes on vacation, like sex vacations with two or three models at.

[D]

A time that are legal. Age, wherever he's tracked.

[C]

I keep a document on me every state and country.

[D]

Dude, they're not legal at the airport here. Jfk, it's a problem, but when you.

[C]

Albania.

[D]

It's Albania, dude. House rules.

[A]

Christ, Sienna. I mean, is this. You talk to me here, literally, not me. It's truly not you.

[B]

No, I. I don't do that.

[A]

You don't do that?

[E]

What don't you do here?

[B]

I just would never like in public or like finger around.

[A]

She did say that earlier that she would not be.

[E]

Yeah, she was also almost at a sex party.

[D]

Party.

[C]

She was at a sex party.

[E]

She just didn't.

[D]

You never made. You didn't say I didn't go to the sex party. Yeah, you said I never made it to the sex party.

[B]

Well, it was. I was at the sex party. I just didn't go into the vip. But I think it's Shane because I.

[E]

Feel like, what, in what universe do you think at 18 years old this guy was just like in here like, ah, blasting away on chicks.

[B]

I think that you would deceptively be like, oh, I'm fingering. Like you guys are doing deceptively.

[E]

Oh, I'm a sex criminal.

[D]

Deceptively. I wish I had a story of being 18 and fingering 14. That was so ad possibility.

[A]

When I was 18, I did finger a girl. That was a four.

[D]

Hand turkey.

[E]

She got me for some reason. Shane.

[A]

Shane gets us.

[E]

Yeah, I'm white trash adjacent.

[C]

Also, she said being 18 in a club. You have to be 21 to be in a club.

[D]

Yeah, you're right. Not if you're a hot chick. We're all just stalling because we don't want to come at the same time.

[A]

We're all imagining us being girls at a club with Sienna right now. There's four of us.

[E]

Now. Who the only other person I think this could honestly be, I don't know Ralph that well, but this does seem like something that's pretty typical of a somebody who was raised in Philadelphia.

[D]

So, buddy, on my life, if this is my story, I couldn't have hit it this long. I would talk about this. I'd leave with this. I go, yeah. Turning 48 this year. Not like when I was 18, when I figured. I used to.

[E]

It's your. I used to be able to dunk, kind of.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Now there wasn't video back then.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Sorry.

[E]

It's crazy. Great calves, though.

[D]

I'm going Sienna. With my hopes, dreams, and heart.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, if it's not Sienna, I'm just gonna remember this as being Sienna the whole time.

[D]

Yeah. Whoever tells the story, I'm hearing it as Sienna. You must already wait to find out. He doesn't want to know. It's not her. Everyone's in.

[F]

Alex, Story number five belongs to Sienna Hubert Ross.

[D]

Yo. All right.

[A]

All right, all right. Everyone be cool. Everyone be cool. Just turn down the lights.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

If I could make a request, like, everyone be cool.

[D]

Dish slowly.

[B]

I'm like, so. No, I. I moved to New York when I was 17, so maybe I wasn't 18 here. And I was. I went to the club, and I used to. You know, I was a model, so we would do, like, promoter dinners and stuff. But a lot of the girls were, like, secretly gay.

[D]

Well, they look like.

[B]

Like, they were, like, beautiful.

[A]

Like, describe the first one in detail.

[B]

The first one, she was a blonde. She looked like Candace Swann. Do you know the Victoria's Secret model?

[A]

No, but sure.

[B]

Anyway, so her and her friend, we were, like, started fingering each other, and then, like, two other girls, like, what.

[D]

Are you doing, dummy? You left at the wrong time, bro. But she's telling it now. Into the bathroom. We should all run to the bathroom right now. Wait, wait. Don't tell anymore. Don't tell anymore. Hold up. I'm gonna yell out. Alex, tell her she can tell it now.

[E]

Every dude of the audience just falls asleep. Oh, God.

[A]

So go ahead. I'm sorry.

[B]

The second we're sitting, we're sitting on a couch. Like, we're not even in. In private. Lucky cat and me and these three girls are fingering or two girls and me. And then two other girls come and they're like, what are you guys doing? And the girl's like, oh, my God, we're fingering each other.

[F]

And then we.

[E]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

This was like 2018. Literally, everyone's just, like, looking. It's crazy. It was like the only time I've ever had, like, an orgy. Yeah.

[A]

So it was just six years ago. Yeah. Seven.

[F]

Eight.

[B]

Eight. I'm 20.

[F]

26.

[A]

Christ.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Holy. That story was hot.

[E]

So was the. Was the methodology like chopsticks? Like, it was like both hands.

[C]

Can I ask, why did you stop while it was.

[E]

Oh, you did a Nixon.

[D]

Double points.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I am not a crook.

[C]

Why did it stop? Like, what happened?

[B]

What do you mean?

[F]

Why?

[C]

Like, while in the middle mitzvital happening.

[A]

Everyone came, Ralph. They're women. They know what they're doing.

[D]

They finished.

[B]

Oh, why did. Why did we stop? I mean.

[F]

No, we.

[B]

We were. We didn't stop. What do you mean?

[A]

Were you guys, like, kissing each other and feeling each other's tips?

[B]

Like literally having sex at a club? It was crazy.

[D]

Got undressed?

[E]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

Well, under. We had dresses on.

[A]

Oh, and did they take your panties off or just pull them to the side? Just the.

[E]

Oh, God, I love this.

[D]

No one had. No one had a bush, right? No one had a bush.

[E]

Oh, no, we were all.

[B]

We were all freshly 18.

[E]

Freshly 18.

[A]

It's great. It's a great website.

[E]

Is that what you named the video?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Good God, the inside of my lip is bleeding.

[D]

Ralph was DJing this club.

[C]

Very possible.

[A]

Can you just tell the story again? I just want to rehear it.

[D]

Can you let Ralph smell your fingers while you tell it?

[A]

What do we got? Five stories down. Alex, where are our points at?

[D]

Who cares?

[A]

You know what? Honestly, we. Today, we're all winners.

[D]

I need a cigarette and a sandwich.

[F]

In last place with four points, but in first place in our hearts, Sienna Gbert. Ro.

[D]

Don'T be offended. The sultan rises for no woman.

[C]

It also would have been great if.

[D]

Stand for a woman.

[A]

Are you out of your mind?

[C]

Every guy had an erection.

[F]

Standing in fourth place with seven points, Ralph Sutton. And still tied for the lead with 10 points each, Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Okerson and Shane Torres.

[A]

What a tight those girls must have had. When I really think about it, was.

[D]

It just one finger per.

[E]

You?

[D]

Double dipped fingers are tiny.

[A]

They are small. Yeah, they are small fingers.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Small, tight Little fingers.

[D]

Your teeny, teeny fingers. Teeny tiny.

[A]

All right, let's take a quick moment, Story warriors and thank body brain coffee. The official coffee of the story warriors. Jay, I know that you love your tongue at Ali. It makes you feel like you're, you're strong and big and fast and, and you're.

[D]

Well, it makes me feel like I'm fighting Jean Claude Van Damme in that movie where he fought Tom Ked Ali.

[A]

Look, Body ring coffee tastes good. It's premium freeze dried Colombian coffee that also is blended with amazing nootropics and adaptogens that support natural testosterone and brain function. Memory makes you feel good. Look, I got adhd. I'm terrible. I used to have terrible memory, terrible everything. My dick's hard. My memory's working well, my testosterone's up. I gotta thank body brain coffee and.

[D]

He'S letting everybody see it.

[A]

You want to see this? This is a body brain supported body brain right here. Yeah. BBC Big black cock. That's what I have now. It's like shallow how Body?

[D]

Yeah. Body brain.

[A]

Yeah, dude, it's. It's like shallow. Hell, I see myself as having a big cock now.

[D]

Oh, dude, I got BBC Body brain. Look, I was a Body brain coffee is BBC is really hilarious.

[A]

First time you're realizing this. Yes, that's hilarious.

[D]

It will never stop being the thing though.

[A]

You know what, we got to use the promo code BBC.

[D]

BBC promo code, promo code BBC. And then it's also have to have the winking emoji.

[A]

We were supposed to move it down to 20% this month. We're going to do promo code BBC.

[D]

Winky emoji.

[A]

No winky emoji. There's no way to do that in a promo code. Just a promo code BBC. It's an exclusive story warriors deal.

[D]

Okay. BBC Semicolon, closing parenthesis.

[A]

I don't think that'll work. Winky Face BBC is the promo code. It's gonna get you 25% off just for this week alone. We're doing 20% now. It's supposed to be 20%, but we'll 25 with the promo code. BBC Special Secret Code from the story warriors only try this out. It is my company that I started and it's been blowing up. People really, really love it. You can also get it on Amazon. If you go directly to the website. You can get a discount. Promo code BBC for 25 off just this week. Next week is going down to 20. So once again, just go to bodybraincoffee.com use that promo code BBC for a special. One week, 25% off. That's it. All right, where we're we, Alex?

[D]

Story number six.

[F]

Story number six. The cops raided my house on Thanksgiving looking for drugs. And my uncle nearly had a heart attack and died.

[D]

Now this feels. Shane. Taurus. This seems like the cartel had his uncle hemmed up.

[A]

I.

[E]

This is not me. First of all, I can promise you that I don't have any uncle. This feels like something traumatic from Louis's childhood, honestly.

[D]

I mean, again, Louis, if you'd never told me before about the cops raid on your house. I'm quitting the show.

[A]

I mean, to be fair, Jay, I mean, we've been doing this show. We have 60 some odd episodes. There's a lot of stories I haven't told you. But you know what? I would have told you this one.

[D]

The cops raided your fucking house on Thanksgiving would have come up.

[A]

Up. Yeah, I'm also getting Shane Torres vibes.

[E]

I.

[A]

Where you up in.

[E]

I grew up in Fort Worth, Texas.

[A]

Yeah, Texas.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's the sub close to the border. They're trying to get you back.

[E]

Close enough to the border. We're closer to the Canadian border.

[A]

Fort Worth is a nice town.

[E]

Yeah, but like, that's my point. It wouldn't. It's a boring ass town.

[D]

Yeah, but not your wild crazy ass uncle.

[B]

Wait, so did the uncle not die? Lewis?

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

No, he had a heart attack.

[C]

Nearly. Nearly had a heart.

[B]

My uncle nearly had a heart attack and died.

[E]

Isn't it crazy how that's a weird.

[F]

Wording for that, right?

[A]

My uncle nearly had a heart attack and then died. And then he died.

[C]

Then died. I would.

[D]

He goes, oh my God, that was so close to heart attack. Holy. What was that heart. What was that from? That was. That was something different.

[A]

Different.

[E]

It's crazy how no one thinks this is Sienna's story now.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, look, it can easily be two stories in a row for Sienna, but she's already had two stories.

[D]

Yeah, the story is hot at all, except what did that uncle do?

[C]

And also if she would have said, I was 18 when my uncle died.

[A]

That's true. One time I was like fingering all these other hot chicks at Thanksgiving.

[E]

She wrote her Thanksgiving party.

[A]

I was deep throating the turkey leg and just spitting it into this other hot mouth.

[D]

She wrote her stories last night. Hung over, she said. So she just only could think about one weekend of her life. She goes, I don't know. That was that one crazy weekend that one year I'll tell those stories, I guess.

[E]

Let me call tell you something about.

[D]

Called the Wishbone Finger girls puked at a club. And then Thanksgiving Uncle Tommy got arrested and then he got. He had a heart. He almost had a heart attack and then suddenly died.

[A]

Ralph grew up with a fairly wealthy family. So there's just not drug raids at his house.

[D]

No, it's Jewish money.

[A]

Yeah, that's all money, Jay.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Read the news And Shane's. Shane Torres and Luis J. Gomez are not Jewish. And you definitely have drug addicted uncle. Actually I had a drug addicted uncle.

[A]

We all had. Everyone has a drug addict Joe that's been in jail for drugs.

[D]

My uncle Mark, I can tell you this.

[E]

You don't figure finger four girls at the same time and not have a drug addicted uncle.

[A]

That is true.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

I learned it from watching you Uncle Joe.

[D]

Louis, where did you grow up learning to finger all these girls? Uncle Joe?

[E]

Bottles. Bottle service.

[A]

I grew up in Rockland County, New York which is just an hour north of Hill. Shout out Rockland County. Shout out Rockland County. Well let's see. Those guys are from.

[E]

What's Rockland county like? Because for me it's between you two. So I.

[A]

It goes. It goes from like it's very suburban. It goes from a very, very nice like here areas like New City and Nyack to very shitty where I grew up which was West Havish Spring Valley.

[D]

Between the two Jewish parts that are nice.

[A]

Nyak's not super Jewish. Muny Muncie. Super Jewish. Look at him, look at him like Muncie.

[D]

It's too Jewish for those Jews.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

West. West Havershire. Is that what it's.

[A]

West Haverstraw. Straw.

[E]

Haver Straw.

[A]

Wes Havershire.

[E]

Tell me about growing up.

[A]

I was a gnome.

[D]

Listen, Lewis did have I believe a. I don't know if he. Lewis either had an uncle that was really good to him and really took care of helped take care of him or he was a drug addicted piece of.

[E]

I don't remember.

[D]

It was one of the two. You had an uncle. I forget if he was good or.

[A]

Most of my uncles. Most all of my uncles were bad one got chased.

[D]

This is fuck this feel. I think this is Shane. But this could be Louis for sure.

[E]

This definitely feels like it's between you two for me and you're not saying a lot.

[A]

Big J the only like he's just.

[E]

Not saying a lot about himself now. And every other time he's like I.

[A]

Definitely haven't grown outside of Philly it would be bad. Super trashy.

[D]

I.

[A]

It was weird that I wouldn't have heard this story. But we've already. We figured this out in a meeting recently. We don't really listen to each other.

[D]

It's true. It turns out we proved that this morning.

[E]

It's crazy. You guys are as successful as you are. You don't listen to it.

[D]

On Thanksgiving. Seems like Lewis did definitely have like an uncle that was a piece of but yeah, I don't or was always.

[C]

Having a Thanksgiving dinner at his house.

[B]

That's what I was thinking.

[D]

Well that is true.

[C]

Comes over I just know what do.

[A]

You think I was doing on Thanksgiving. Thanks.

[D]

For what? Your drug addicted mother. Mother? Doubtful.

[A]

She had problems.

[E]

Jay tell you grew up in the suburbs of Philly or.

[D]

I grew up in West Philadelphia until I was 17 and we moved to.

[A]

South Jersey because his mom too many men in the neighborhood.

[D]

My mom didn't have too many men. She cops. She was a single mother trying to get.

[A]

That's why they raided her house.

[D]

Nobody ever was breaking in our house because my mom was one booty call away from a copy in the there to beat that guy up and then stuff his in her mouth probably. I was sleeping in my room.

[E]

God. My mother was a nurse from Ireland. So this is not a housewife from where A nurse from Ireland. So this is. This is a less traumatic. This is not me.

[A]

Do you really not have any uncles?

[E]

No.

[D]

But he's allowed to lie.

[E]

Well, no, my bro. My. My bro. My dad had one but he died. So your dad had.

[D]

He died on Thanksgiving?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No, he had a harness. He nearly had a heart attack and then years later died of old Put.

[E]

All that butter in the Mac and cheese it.

[D]

Dude, I'm dying on the hill.

[A]

What a dumbass.

[D]

I'll die on the hill.

[A]

Okay, dumbass.

[E]

I think it's Lewis too.

[A]

You guys are all gonna give Shane lots of votes here.

[D]

It's fine. I like Shane.

[E]

Thanks, Jay. I like you too, Jay.

[C]

Shane was too quick to say I have no uncles. I don't believe it.

[E]

He lied.

[A]

He did lie. He does. Thank you. Thank you.

[E]

That's what this whole show is getting.

[D]

Mad at you for it. How the could you lie to me? We thought we were friends. Been good to you, Alex.

[A]

All of our answers are in story.

[F]

Number six belongs to Shane Torres.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Was this your brother's father or your brother's Your. Your father's brother or. You're lying about your amount of uncles.

[E]

Oh no. I have a. I had A. I have. I had two.

[D]

73 uncles.

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

[D]

I have.

[E]

I said my mom was a nurse from Iowa and should be like. He's like, got 40 uncles. One of them.

[D]

I have horror bottomless uncles.

[B]

Did he die from the heart attack?

[E]

Well, he died from a heart attack.

[C]

Is your mother even Irish? Jesus.

[E]

Yeah, she. My mother was from Ireland and my. My brothers were drug dealers. And there were a lot of trouble in the neighborhood. They were always, like, breaking into shit. And then, like. So, like, one of our neighbors. Car got broken into, and they just assumed it was somebody at our house and. Which was, like, fair, you know, Like.

[D]

I was like, yeah, can't sue him for slander.

[E]

Well, probably. But my. My uncle, who was a priest, had come over to, like, celebrate the holidays with us, and cops showed up and. And my mom is from a village of like a hundred people, so they're. They don't have these kind of problems. They're always like, oh, it's so lovely to see you. And, like, the cops showed up and they were like, knocking on the. Banging on the door.

[A]

Oh, it's the police.

[E]

We feed them. That's nice.

[D]

And they.

[E]

They. They came in and they were like, there was car broken into. And, you know, like, we've been here a thousand times. They'd been to the house so many times, so. And they were just cop banging on the door. And my uncle, who was a priest, priest goes, and his heart.

[A]

This is your mother's brother?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. And my mom had to take him to the hospital.

[C]

And.

[E]

Yeah, and he didn't die, but he was like, yeah, he died of a heart attack later, but.

[D]

Drugs. What?

[E]

It was the drug. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Son of a. Yeah.

[E]

So that was a. That was a very memorable Thanksgiving.

[D]

Shane just took a nice lead.

[A]

I think Shane. Shane might have. We might be tied, I don't know. Alex, where our points at? Six stories down.

[F]

All right. In last place with four points, Sienna, Hubert Ross.

[D]

Sienna, you've caused many more points than that tonight.

[F]

In fourth place, with 10 points, Big J. Okerson.

[D]

What? What? Oh, I didn't even give any. A boner in here. This hurts worse.

[A]

What did I tell you guys about that first round not mattering? Go ahead, Alex.

[D]

Dude, that's shitty. That's shitty.

[F]

In third place with 11 points, Ralph Sutton. And tied for the lead with 14 points each, Lewis J. Gomez and Shane Torres.

[E]

Look at that.

[A]

It is still anybody's game, folks.

[D]

You're an ass.

[A]

Well, I mean, it's probably not Sienna's game, folks.

[E]

Sienna I mean, I think she would have the best stories.

[D]

It would have to go crazy for you to win right now.

[A]

It's possible, though. She can win.

[B]

No, I'm playing it light, like. Nah, I'm gonna come back. Of course.

[A]

Alex. She said come. Go ahead, Alex.

[D]

And back. Oh, my God, she fingers so much. Hey, story warriors. The holiday season is here, so you have to look sharp for family gatherings, office parties, Black Friday fights, all the nonsense you got to deal with. You got to look good. So you're going to need Chubbies this year. They have cold weather essentials, known mostly for those swim trunks in the summer because they were all the rage. But now they have flannels, pullovers, quarter zips, and newly dropped winter jackets. Upgrade your winter gear today over at Chubby's. They are amazing. I know.

[A]

The.

[D]

The bathing suits were fantastic. And then now I'm pretty excited to try out this jacket.

[A]

The winter jacket is going to be my go to this holiday season to give my family. My family's all poor. They need jackets, so I'm getting them.

[D]

You have to treat them. You have to buy them presents like the homeless if you have a football uncle on your Christmas list. Also, they have a new NFL by Chubby's collection with stretch polos and swim trunks for all 32 NFL teams. You'll make any degenerate single dad happy this Christmas. We assume your parents are divorced.

[A]

For a limited time, Chubby's is giving our fans 20% off your purchase at Chubby's with promo code Wars W A R Z. But if it's Black Friday, skip the code and take advantage of an even bigger markdown during their exclusive Black Friday sale. So whatever you want to do, you can get discounts right now or wait till Black Friday. Either way, just go to chubby shorts.com, use that promo code, W A R Z, let them know that we sent you there, and go support Chubbies, which supports great podcasts. All right, where were we?

[D]

Alex, Story number seven.

[F]

Story number seven. I almost lost my toe because I was high on painkillers after an operation and didn't realize that it was wrapped wrong. It wasn't even the toe that was operated on.

[D]

I don't even. This makes no sense to me. Can you read it again, Alex?

[A]

I read I lost my toe and I was like, all right, Diabetes Big J.

[D]

For real.

[A]

Ha ha.

[D]

What if I die from that? This is Alex. Read it again so everyone hears how discombobulated this is.

[F]

I almost lost my toe because I was high on painkillers. After an operation and didn't realize. Realize that it was wrapped wrong. It wasn't even the toe that was operated on.

[E]

So they.

[D]

So the story is they didn't lose their toe.

[A]

No. Just like he didn't lose his uncle.

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't think Jay's ever had a toe operation or a foot operation.

[B]

I think it's right. Ralph.

[A]

Ralph. He does have giant freaky feet.

[D]

Ralph's also Jewish enough. He's had lots of operations.

[C]

I want to say something a little weird here, please. I know who this is.

[E]

What I believe it to be Louis.

[C]

I had a throat surgery a couple. A couple years ago.

[D]

When.

[C]

Remember that? When I had throat surgery and Jay told me this story on the air. So I don't know if that's illegal.

[D]

Do you think this is true?

[C]

I remember this.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know. Is that against?

[D]

Well, now this has to be wrapped. That's crazy. This certainly isn't me. I've never had an opportunity.

[C]

You guys don't listen to each other. But I remember that when I had the surgery, I had throat surgery.

[D]

I'm throwing a bomb right now and calling this Ralph if he's playing a great game. Now, I know.

[C]

If it's illegal. I don't know if it's illegal that I know it.

[A]

It's not. It's not illegal. But, I mean, you probably shouldn't have. If everyone votes for Jay now, you just wasted your round.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Everybody vote for Jay.

[C]

I'm sorry.

[D]

Everybody vote for Jay. I don't know know what the Ralph is talking about. Please.

[E]

I have no idea.

[A]

J2.

[E]

I have no idea.

[D]

Vote for Jay. Like Lewis.

[A]

You guys, I believe that Ralph is not playing the game. I think big J just got caught repeating a story to one of his friends. And that's just the way the cookie crumbles. J. J just got butt pushed.

[D]

Ralph. Did I know?

[A]

Did I know if Ralph.

[C]

Someone.

[D]

Someone cleaned house. Ralph will do well here regardless. But someone. This is not o. Go to Alex.

[A]

Jay's falling apart.

[D]

Alex.

[A]

Oh, no. Dude, if it's not you, I'm so fast.

[D]

Alex.

[A]

Alex.

[F]

Story number number seven belongs to Ralph.

[E]

Really well done.

[A]

Literally one of the best plays. That is insane religion.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

Well played.

[A]

You've been watching the game.

[C]

So I had a big toe off.

[D]

There's nothing funny when it's not you for sure. And Lewis is going, like, Chase freaking out right now. I'm like. I'm not. I'm not even mildly worried.

[C]

I Had an operation on my big toe and they wrapped my foot wrong. And after I came off the painkills, I'm like, the other side of my foot's killing me. It's not where I got the operation. And they undid the bang. Each time they did, it felt better and felt better. My little toe was black because they tied it too tight.

[A]

And then I had.

[C]

They had to massage my big little tiny toe for like an hour or two to get blood back into it. And it still doesn't really move right. Like they fucked up my little toe.

[D]

You still have a dead toe. I have a little bit of.

[A]

I mean, that was such a high level play.

[B]

I knew it was him because he was silent, but he was thinking about what he was going to do to hit you.

[A]

That was an extremely high level play.

[E]

Number one on SportsCenter. Yeah.

[D]

I don't know if this is legal.

[A]

He got.

[D]

He cooked you guys. I watched him cook you.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

That was crazy. Oh, my God. Oh, I think. I think Ralph just took the lead. Alex, where are our points at seven Sewers down. This is crazy.

[B]

All right.

[A]

What a game.

[F]

In last place with four points, Sienna Hubert Ross.

[D]

Respectable number. No, shut up. She's great. Shut up.

[A]

She's great. Santa's just going to be on every week now.

[E]

All of our stories are like pain and ailments. She's just like, oh, my God, I was fingering these days. And we're just.

[A]

My back hurts. We're going to make.

[D]

We're going to make our thirds regular on the show. And then every week, our stories going to make times you've been cummed in today's topic, it is times you've been cummed in hottest places. You suck cock.

[A]

Alex. Continue.

[F]

Tied for second place with 14 points each, Lewis J. Gomez, Big J Okerson and Shane Torres.

[E]

Wow.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[F]

And now, in the lead with 17 points, Ralph Sutton.

[D]

Ralph, I don't know if you're doing the math along, but that score shakeup was brought to you exclusively by double point. Get out of here, lady.

[C]

Get.

[A]

We have one more story.

[D]

We do. And because everyone's dying to take home Sing you home. It's a novel about love, conviction, and the families we build through strength and choice. Jodi Picolt turned Zoe's fight over her frozen embryos into a story about compassion and resilience. It reminds us that even when life delivers heartbreak, people can still find harmony and even create something beautiful out of loss. Sing you home, Jodi Picall. It's all on the line. Sienna's already texting somebody else for next plan for different plans. She's emotionally and physically removed from the game. Alex, story number eight.

[F]

Story number eight. A one night stand asked me to punch them in the face during sex.

[A]

Sex.

[F]

I wouldn't. I didn't, but I should have.

[E]

This has got Lewis written all over it now.

[D]

Lewis punch. Lewis would punch.

[A]

She would even ask. I start punch here. She's like, what are you doing? I was like, oh, I thought you wanted this.

[D]

He goes, oh, you. Your body was telling me yes.

[A]

One night stand. Punch him in the face. Yeah. Dude, couldn't be Sienna again. This, that would be just too hot.

[E]

She is cracking her knuckles underneath the table.

[D]

Oh, I remember that sucker.

[A]

I mean, it couldn't be Ralph. If Ralph punched a woman in the face, she. He would mash her head in.

[D]

But it said they didn't.

[C]

Yeah, but they would never ask me to. Let's be honest.

[D]

I guess that's true. You are gigantic, Jason.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

You don't think I hurt a woman by punching her?

[A]

No, I don't.

[E]

I really don't think you would.

[A]

We don't think you have the ability.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's you.

[D]

Why?

[B]

Because of like I wouldn't. I didn't. But I should have.

[A]

It is. It is. It is written in a funny, whimsical way, which is a little bit of a jtl.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

There's a curse of being so wildly hilarious. Whenever something's funny, they just assume it's me.

[A]

It is nice.

[E]

No one thinks it's me.

[D]

I. Yeah, I don't know who it is yet. I don't think everyone said Sienna right away. I don't think it's Sienna. A guy wants to, I guess.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Why should they have though.

[A]

If it.

[E]

Said party or club.

[C]

And under 18 years old.

[E]

Oh yeah, the 18 years old old.

[A]

One time I was 18 had a one night stand with six hot models.

[C]

Yeah, I think it's either Shane or Jay.

[D]

I know it's back to back, but Ralph has a lot of one night stands.

[A]

Not really in a one night stand guy know Ralph is a wine and dine a guy and then he wears.

[C]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, he wears condoms every time.

[D]

You. You think one night stand means.

[E]

Yeah, you don't put them over your hand. You think one man died.

[A]

Hell.

[D]

You'Re an entertainment. So you think one night stand involves like hey, nice to meet you, come over and let's. Ralph does the wine dime. But they're one night stands. Plenty. I don't know.

[A]

Ralph. Ralph. No, Ralph. It plays a slow game with these girls because Ralph dates obnoxiously beautiful women. Like they're really beautiful. And he's such a monster. You're like, how does this even happen? But Ralph will play it out for like a year and he's unemotional. He's unemotional about it. Like he will just. Just like over a year, just whittle them down. And then eventually the years have passed and he's just got a different hot chick every night that he's been whittling for years.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Whittling.

[C]

Yes, that is correct.

[D]

My thought process on Ralph is that I wouldn't. I didn't, but I should have. Makes me feel like. Because the women you date are also not just foreign, but dumb as a door name.

[C]

They have to be.

[D]

They are. And they're really. It's like you probably just should have because they wouldn't even have known what was happening. I'm not a big one night stand guy. Haven't had many in my life. You haven't either. Are you a big one night stand guy?

[A]

No, I also, by the way, I would never.

[C]

I think the term one night stand is a strange term. I don't think it's used.

[A]

It's an older term. So that's why it could be Ralph or Jay. These guys are both old as fuck.

[D]

You're old.

[A]

They're so old. Am I in my early 40s? You're almost 50. Or old is ridiculous.

[D]

You're old.

[E]

It's ridiculous.

[A]

Isn't it gross how old he is?

[D]

You're old to be a father of a 12 year old.

[E]

Sure.

[A]

She. Yeah, but women think that's hot. Sienna, right? Isn't isn't 47 the grossest age for a man?

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Shane.

[C]

Are you single, Shane?

[E]

Am I single?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Yeah, I am single.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

All right.

[B]

It's Jay for sure.

[C]

It's either Jay or Shane because it's for sure.

[B]

No, the way it's written is your voice. I wouldn't. I didn't, but I should have.

[D]

I know. I laughed when I read it.

[E]

That made me does have a little bit.

[D]

Great. Some other genius decided to write as funny as me.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I'm getting big J vibes, but Ralph, who you voting for?

[D]

If it was Lewis, I'm on the.

[C]

Fence for Jay or Shane right now. I'm just trying to think about it.

[E]

I think if it was Lewis, it would be a bunch of different letters cut out of magazines.

[D]

So.

[A]

It'S all Just a letter.

[E]

What do you go with? You went with Jay.

[D]

She's locked in at Jay.

[A]

She's locked in. I'm thinking. I'm thinking. Shane. Shane. Have you had a lot of one night stand, Shane?

[E]

I've been had. My favorite.

[D]

You're a road dog.

[A]

You've been on the road a long time.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. He has a shirt that says punchline on it and punches in there.

[A]

That's right.

[E]

He has the sister club studio.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Cob. You don't cob a. You punch her.

[C]

Shane.

[E]

That's what Sienna does.

[C]

Shane. How old are you?

[D]

Sienna cobbed a couple of that party.

[E]

I'm 43.

[A]

I'm also 43.

[E]

Actually, I'm 45. My birthday was Saturday. I'm 44.

[A]

Happy birthday, Shane.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Thank you.

[E]

Yeah, thank you. Are you texting that it was my birthday to someone?

[D]

Maybe it was Shane.

[A]

I'm thinking it might be Shane.

[C]

I think it's Shane.

[D]

I don't know why that exchange.

[C]

Happy birthday. Punch in the face. It's Shane.

[A]

I only said that to trick you guys into voting for Shane. I deeply believe it's Big J. I also. And if it is Big J, I'm the winner. That was me playing the game. Yeah, but you have four.

[E]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

You.

[E]

You scored. You didn't win.

[A]

No, you did. No. Oh, wait. Did you vote already?

[E]

I'm saying Jay.

[A]

Did you vote already, though?

[D]

Yeah, he's in.

[A]

You did you put Ralph in and you removed your hand?

[E]

No, I didn't.

[A]

You sure?

[E]

I am 100% sure. We're going to be tied because we.

[A]

Have a tiebreaker as well. Unless it's Shane, you guys are going.

[D]

To feel stupid when it's not me. Alex, go ahead.

[F]

Story number eight belongs to Big J.

[D]

Oh, it was me.

[A]

Me.

[D]

Oh, that was me. Can I tell you something? When I was writing this in my phone, sending it to Alex, I said, I'm writing this. Too goddamn funny. I said, they're going to know because it's written so clever. So in the timing and the rhythm.

[A]

Who was this chick?

[D]

It was a server at Dr. Grin's Comedy Club.

[E]

Ooh. Grand Rapids.

[D]

Grand Rapids Mission. And I. The first night she came back to my room, she was. Was mega aggressive, which is the reason it even probably happened in the first place. Gorgeous. She was an MMA fighter, but she was so pretty.

[E]

I couldn't believe it was Betsy Devos.

[D]

And then. And then we. We start. We start hooking up and she goes, hit me in the face. And so I was like, I Gave her, like, the smallest, like. And she was like. She goes, no, no, really hit me. And so I went a little more. And she goes, no, I want you to, like, punch me in the face. And I. I went, oh, you got the wrong guy.

[A]

And then she's like, no way. You're wearing nail polish and pink bracelets.

[D]

You don't like to hit bitches? And then we finished and she left. The next day, she came to work whacked out on pills. They had to call an ambulance to remove her from the club. And when she came in all fucked up on those pills, which I assume was because she felt humiliated by fucking me. The office where they had her sitting waiting for the ambulance is just attached to the green room.

[E]

Yeah, there's. It's a coat room. It's like, where the waitresses put their purses.

[D]

And so I'm just sitting there, think. And she's, like, flopped in a chair, and they keep coming in to check her pulse. And.

[A]

And I'm like, did somebody punch this woman last night?

[D]

He goes, someone do a rape kit on her? I go, no, no, no, that was from yesterday.

[E]

That was.

[D]

And she wanted to.

[E]

The club does something called Consensual Fridays.

[D]

Oh, Grand Rapids. I'm sure that girl's dead. Why would she have been that aggressive with me? Hit me in the face. What's wrong with you?

[A]

Alex, where are our points at? Eight stories down, I think. I know we do have a tie, but give us the final. Give us the actual, actual right.

[F]

In last place with eight points, Sienna. Hubert Ross. In fourth place. In fourth place with 16 points, Big J. Okerson.

[D]

Why don't you cheer for me, lady? You just want Sienna to finger you after the show. Show Sienna. Get over there and finger that chick, would you, please? We make dreams come true here.

[E]

That's funny, Alex.

[F]

In third place with 17 points, Ralph Sutton. And tied for the lead going into overtime with 18 points each.

[D]

Each.

[F]

Lewis J. Gomez and Shane Torres.

[D]

So, Shane, going to Deep Waters.

[A]

I'll tell you how the. The tiebreaker works. One more round. It's only going to be one of these three person stories. It's not going to be either of our stories. What we have to do first is we have to secretly. You have to wager some points. Wager some of your points. Out of 18 points, you can wager zero. You can wager 18 anywhere in between. And then we vote after they read the story.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

Like. Like Jeopardy. Thank you.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

This show is just like Jeopardy.

[D]

It has the tone of Jeopardy.

[E]

Yeah, it Has a price is right on Tuesday afternoon. Crowd.

[A]

Double jeopardy is sort of like double points.

[E]

So explain it one more time.

[A]

You have to secretly wager an amount of your points out of 18 points.

[E]

Okay?

[A]

And then it's gonna be one of these three people's stories, and it's the final story. Okay.

[E]

I'm just, like, playing it in my head right now.

[A]

Write it down on the back of your board. Don't show any. Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Secretly away from Lewis. Secretly. Oh, that's a crazy number.

[A]

You guys be cool.

[D]

No, no. Just her Puerto Ricans.

[A]

Chill.

[D]

Just Shane and Lewis.

[A]

Did you already put your I did wagers? It's right here.

[D]

Alex.

[A]

Don't let anyone say it.

[D]

Our overtime story.

[F]

Story number nine. The only time I purchased cocaine was because a girl wanted to snort it off my body.

[A]

It has to be.

[E]

I'm like. I'm so lightheaded.

[D]

Light as a feather.

[E]

Jesus Christ.

[D]

Same weekend.

[E]

Is anyone.

[D]

Anyone else sweating that one?

[A]

That one crazy Tuesday night when she was 18.

[D]

She lived a thousand lifetimes in that night.

[E]

I don't know. I could see someone wanting to sniff cocaine off of Jay or Ralph.

[D]

It'd be. I'll tell you what. It'd be a lot of cocaine.

[A]

Not. Not if it was your dick. It'd be a little tiny bit bump.

[D]

Oh, you. What the you coming at me like that for? I hope you win.

[E]

There was a kilo in my navl.

[A]

See, Ralph. Ralph is not a drug guy. This could easily be Ralph. He's. I don't think he's really ever pur. I mean, he. Maybe if I. If I've ever seen you purge cocaine, it would be for some chick. And maybe the idea was to snort it off your dick. Ralph has to have a hammer between his legs. It's got to be massive.

[B]

It's Ralph.

[A]

You think it's Ralph?

[B]

Because I don't do drugs. And Shane grew up with drugs for that.

[E]

Yeah, you didn't say you do drugs.

[C]

We're not allowed to.

[B]

I would never buy drugs.

[A]

A girl buying drugs is the thing.

[E]

Yeah, you. That's. It's for sure. Not you. Because, like.

[A]

But maybe you were a lesbian at one time in your life, so you. And you played the dude role. I've heard.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Maybe when you were a power top.

[B]

I would still never purchase judge.

[A]

She would literally be like, hey, can I get some free cocaine?

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Like eight guys I want.

[D]

This girl's gonna snort off my body goes. Yeah, I'll just. You could have some.

[C]

If either of you don't say Sienna. It's insane. I'll just say that I don't. Do we get to vote too or.

[A]

No, you don't get to vote and you're already out. It's really just between me and Shane at this point.

[E]

I just like.

[A]

But it could be Big J, cuz I.

[E]

But I see him having purchased cocaine more than once.

[A]

No, no, Big J's not a coke guy. He's only done it a couple times.

[E]

But he's done it a couple times.

[A]

He never purchased it.

[D]

No, those couple times are.

[E]

I don't. I'm not listening to you.

[A]

Oh yeah, I'm. I'm playing the game poorly right now. I should be playing against you, but. Well, I still have no idea how many points you wagered.

[E]

Are you sure it wasn't you? Yeah, shit.

[A]

No. The more I'm thinking about it could be anybody on this panel. I know these two very well. I know they do not buy cocaine. But if there was a chick that wanted to do cocaine, you better fucking believe they were going to call for cocaine.

[D]

I don't know where to get cocaine.

[A]

You know, and it's me. And you never called me for it, so I don't think it's you.

[D]

I wouldn't have thought of you to go to get cocaine. Is that who I would have called?

[A]

I would call me.

[C]

The only time I ever purchased cocaine was on SDR to do it all on str.

[A]

Oh, you did cocaine once and I didn't do it.

[C]

You didn't do. We did a drug a year, six years in a row. And I bought those drugs. But it's the only time ever if you guys don't both pick her. You're nuts.

[A]

My nuts are full.

[E]

Mine aren't.

[D]

Mine aren't. Sorry. G, Mike, about Under the table.

[A]

Shane had a nocturnal emission. Fuck man. This could be anybody. We have to end the show though. So we got to get a vote going here. Here.

[E]

It's not seeing it because I don't think she would buy cocaine, truly. But she doesn't.

[C]

The only time. Not the first time. The only time.

[E]

That's what I'm saying.

[D]

Point out that it's. Why would it. The only time ever.

[A]

You know what? We should make this a rule too. Where we secretly vote. We don't tell the other person.

[D]

Let's change the rules right now.

[A]

I'm getting a vibe on this one. I don't know why. I don't know where it's coming from. But my vote vote is for Big J Okerson.

[C]

You know what?

[E]

I'm playing for the win. I'm gonna say it's Ralph if it's Santa.

[A]

You dirty little bitch.

[D]

You minx.

[E]

I can't wait to hear this story.

[A]

Shane votes for Ralph. I vote for Big J. Alex. Alex, whose story was story number nine.

[F]

Story number nine belongs to Big J.

[A]

And just to make it clear, I have so much confidence in myself that I put down 18 points. All 18 points.

[E]

This is so embarrassing. I would say 17 points. Oh, God damn it. Way to drop the ball on the goal line, Torres. I think.

[A]

I think. Torres, you have the official lowest score in Story wars history now with one point.

[E]

Sorry I risked it all.

[A]

Big J, tell the story, please.

[D]

It was the goddaughter of the guy who booked Caroline's Comedy Club, which is.

[E]

Now a ping pong bar owned by Susan Sarandon.

[D]

Indeed. That's why this is safe. She was definitely a drugs chick. I was not. She said she wanted to do coke off my dick. I said, well, then I'll get it for sure. And then I got it.

[A]

Lewis, to add $3 worth of Coke to.

[D]

Yeah, to lend. You knew this to your joke? She did coke off my dick and then was like, I think I'm going to do some ketamine, too. It wasn't enough. Yeah. And then she had hepatitis C and asked me to fuck her in the butt.

[A]

Alex, give us our final scores.

[F]

All right. In last place with one point, Shane Torres.

[E]

Thank your lucky stars I'm here. Sienna.

[F]

In fourth place with eight points. Sienna. Hubert Ross. In third place with 16 points, Big J Okerson.

[A]

N.

[F]

Second place, scored 17 points. And your winner tonight with 36 points, the highest score. Hold on. The highest score of any game that did not involve septuple points. Luis J. Gomez.

[D]

Lewis, your winner this week. Let's get a big round of applause for our entire panel. The great Ralph Sutton. Sienna. Hubert Ross. Shane Torres.

[E]

Thank you.

[D]

Thank you guys so much for being here. We'll catch you next week right here on Story Wars. Until then, everybody, peace.

[C]

Thank.

[A]

You. I.