069. Yannis Pappas, Mike Finoia, Geo Perez | Thanksgiving

Summary

Story Warz – Episode 069: Thanksgiving

Date: November 28, 2025
Host: GaS Digital Network
Panel: Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, Mike Finoia, Geo Perez, Giannis Pappas
Location: The Stand Comedy Club, NYC

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Episode Overview

This rollicking Thanksgiving episode of Story Warz pits comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez against Mike Finoia, Geo Perez, and Giannis Pappas in the signature comedy game of lies and storytelling, live before a raucous New York crowd. Each comic submits stories on the week’s theme — Thanksgiving — trying to deceive the others while guessing who the real storyteller is. High-stakes points, wild personal tales, and aggressive ball-busting ensue, with double points in the second half and a nail-biting tiebreaker to cap off the episode.

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Key Discussion Points and Stories

Show Introduction & Rules of Story Warz

(03:13-05:43)

• Five comedians each submit 3–5 stories on the theme (Thanksgiving).
• Stories are read anonymously. If it’s yours, try to fool the others; if it’s not, guess the author.
• Points: 2 for a correct guess, 1 per person fooled.
• Winner gets the coveted book-of-the-week: Girl Wars: 12 Strategies that Will End Female Bullying.
• "We don’t play for fun. We play for blood." — Big Jay (06:30)

Contestant Introductions & Banter

(03:20–05:13)

• Jay and Luis are joined by Mike Finoia (Impractical Jokers writer), Gio Perez (On the Gate podcast), and Giannis Pappas (History Hyenas).
• Good-natured roasting about prison time (Geo) and washed-up 90s rapper vibes.
• “The three of you look like a Beastie Boys cover band.” — Jay (04:53)
• “I'd be thrilled with, like, former rappers from the 90s who now had to get day jobs.” — Giannis (04:59)

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Stories & Panel Reactions

Story 1: Vomiting Deer Sausage at Thanksgiving

(08:38-16:39)

• Story: Vomiting into a napkin at an ex’s rural family dinner but pretending it was a cough, then hiding it.
• Panel suspects: Mike and Giannis.
• Jay and Luis needle Giannis about being Greek and Mike about dating woodsy girls.
• Reveal: Giannis Pappas
• “That was Jesse Mae Peluso. Syracuse, New York... deer meat’s just gamey.” — Giannis (15:25)

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Story 2: Excluded from Family Photos

(17:20-25:07)

• Story: Told to wake up for professional family photos only to be asked to sit out of them.
• Panel suspects: Mike for his youthful Deadhead look, Jay’s divided family background.
• Reveal: Big Jay Okerson
• “I stood up and my stepmother goes, ‘Oh. I thought it was going to be like, our family.’” — Jay (25:07)
• “Pictures are gay anyway. Humiliating.” — Jay (25:22)

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Story 3: Smoking with Cousin, Beatdown by Aunt

(29:43-37:44)

• Story: Caught smoking with cousin in car; aunt snatches cousin and beats him up.
• Panel suspects: Geo or Luis, with Geo “too shaky”.
• Reveal: Geo Perez
• “I use criminal terminology because that's what cops do. They snatch you up.” — Geo (37:29)
• “I was probably, like, young 20s. And he was, like, 17.” — Geo (37:57)

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Story 4: Family Debates Warning New Guy About Crazy Girlfriend

(40:12-51:57)

• Story: Family fights, post-Thanksgiving, about whether to warn storyteller about their crazy daughter/sister.
• Panel suspects: Overwhelmingly Luis, but misdirection from multiple panelists.
• Reveal: Luis J. Gomez
• “This was the craziest girl that I’ve ever dated in my entire life.” — Luis (50:04)
• "You will never get her out of your life for as long as you live." — Luis, quoting the sister (51:21)

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Halfway Standings

(53:15-56:00)

• Lead: Mike Finoia
• Luis & Giannis close behind
• Geo and Big Jay trailing but within reach
• Double points for remaining stories

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Story 5: Spilled Gravy on Toddler — Hospitalization

(57:31-65:34)

• Story: Ended Thanksgiving abruptly after spilling hot gravy on toddler, child hospitalized.
• Panel suspects: Heavy speculation on Geo ("unattended toddlers"), but see suspicious details in Mike's demeanor.
• Reveal: Mike Finoia
• “I spilled a gravy boat... I fumbled and it went all over my little sister... She screamed so loud, and I felt terrible.” — Mike (64:38, 65:08)

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Story 6: Thanksgiving with Two Alcoholics, a Trans, and a Young Boy

(67:10-73:29)

• Story: Thanksgiving spent with a wild cast of characters. Panel instantly suspects Geo (jail), then pivots to Big Jay.
• Reveal: Big Jay Okerson
• “Two alcoholics, Bobby Kelly, Jim Norton; a trans, Jim Norton’s wife; and a young boy, Bobby Kelly’s son.” — Big Jay (73:56)

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Story 7: Pre-Thanksgiving Football Injury

(79:19–86:28)

• Story: Annual friends’ tackle football leads to a broken collarbone.
• Panel suspects: Mike (playing to Connecticut stereotypes), then Lewis (strange wording "tackle football"), then Geo.
• Reveal: Luis J. Gomez
• “Every year I was like, I don’t know what the f**k is going on out here, guys!” — Luis (86:28)

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Story 8: Chased Out of Friendsgiving After Girlfriend Checks Phone

(89:04–101:21)

• Story: Girlfriend snoops at Friendsgiving, leading to a blow-up and storyteller being chased out.
• Panel: Most suspect Luis or Giannis; confusion over “Friendsgiving” as a white thing.
• Reveal: Geo Perez
• “So when I came out... she asked me the girl’s name, and then I walked out to avoid the fight, and then she just chased me and ended up trying to run me off the road…” — Geo (101:05)

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Tiebreaker: Grandma Has a Stroke at Thanksgiving Table

(103:37–107:13)

• Tie: 15 points each for Luis J. Gomez and Geo Perez.
• Tiebreaker story: When I was a kid, my grandmother had a stroke at Thanksgiving.
• Both guess wrong (Luis for Giannis, Geo for Jay).
• Reveal: Mike Finoia
• “I was nine. My grandmother sat across from me and she went like this. And part of her went dead... brought her to the hospital.” — Mike (106:44)

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Final Standings

(101:41–107:56)

• 1st Place / Story Warrior Winner: Geo Perez (8 tiebreaker points)
• Luis J. Gomez: 0 (wagered all points)
• Mike Finoia & Big Jay Okerson: tied for third
• Giannis Pappas: last place (again)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Yeah, deer meat’s just gamey... It’s for idiots only.” — Giannis (16:33)
• “I stood up and my stepmother goes, ‘Oh. I thought it was going to be like, our family.’” — Jay (25:07)
• “I use criminal terminology because that’s what cops do. They snatch you up.” — Geo (37:29)
• “This was the craziest girl that I’ve ever dated in my entire life.” — Luis (50:04)
• “Double points! This is anybody’s game!” — Luis (56:03)
• “Two alcoholics, Bobby Kelly, Jim Norton; a trans, Jim Norton’s wife; and a young boy, Bobby Kelly’s son.” — Jay (73:56)
• “You promises you’ll never stop having sex with me?” — Jay, faking a teary moment (97:50)
• “So when I came out the bathroom, she asked me the girl's name... tried to run me off the road, keyed my car, woke up my abuela. ...We stayed together for like, six months after that.” — Geo (101:05)
• “That means... Geo Perez, you are the new Story Warrior!” — Jay (107:56)

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Episode Highlights

• Panel chemistry: Relentless roasting, authentic camaraderie, sharp observational jokes, and off-color humor, yet also real heart and vulnerability in true story moments.
• Witty misdirection: Story authors often lean into or away from ethnic and personal stereotypes to throw off the group, making for hilarious cross-examinations.
• Diversity of Thanksgiving experiences: From jail stories to white family photo exclusions, to Latinx and Greek family mayhem, and drunken comedy Thanksgivings.
• Dramatic double-point finish: The entire game remains close until the end, with a thrilling tiebreaker round.
• Memorable crowd energy: The live audience at The Stand, thoroughly engaged and audible, amplifies every reveal and punchline.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• How to play / Panel Intro: 03:13–06:31
• First story read: 08:38
• First big reveal (Giannis): 15:00
• Jay’s family photo story reveal: 24:59
• Geo’s cousin beatdown story reveal: 37:17
• Luis’s ‘crazy girlfriend’ story: 49:36–51:57
• Double points explanation / Standings update: 56:03–57:18
• Mike’s gravy boat disaster: 64:09
• Jay’s “two alcoholics, a trans, and a young boy” Thanksgiving: 73:29
• Friendsgiving phone fight (Geo): 99:27
• Tiebreaker and winner declared: 103:37–107:56

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Conclusion

This episode is a showcase of the unique, razor-sharp dynamic of the Story Warz crew. Each story delivers side-splitting jokes, personal stakes, and unpredictable twists, ultimately crowning Geo Perez as the evening’s master storyteller. It’s a can’t-miss comedy roundtable that proves everyone’s Thanksgiving is a little dysfunctional — and hilarious, in the right company.

Transcript

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[A]

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[C]

Don't be a piece of just get your tickets and come. It's fun.

[A]

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[C]

So if you head on over right now to Story wars merch, that's wars with a Z. Story wars merch dot com. Get your merch today. All right, let's start the show.

[A]

Fill her up.

[C]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with.

[C]

The Story Warriors, Big J. Okerson and Louis J. Gomez. Oh yeah. What is up? New York Comedy Club, the new home of Story Warriors. My name is Big J. Okerson. That of course is Luis J. Gomez. Make some noise in here, please, would you?

[A]

M. I'm very excited. Another sold out show here every Wednesday night here at the New York Comedy Club. So if you guys want to come out, get those tickets in advance because we do sell out every week. Everyone seems very excited to be here. What a great crowd. Great energy of this crowd. People are packed in here like sardines.

[C]

What a great audience.

[A]

What a great night.

[C]

We always ask this the beginning of every show. How many people here familiar with the game Story Wars?

[A]

How many people are not familiar with Story Wars? More people than you think. There's a decent amount of people here that don't know why they're in this room. And we don't know why you're here either.

[C]

It's about to be your favorite game. You've ever experienced. So what do you say if you don't understand the show or it's your first time? We'll explain as soon as we get our esteemed panel of comedic contestants on this stage. Our first contestant, everybody, you've. You know, he's a writer on the Impractical Jokers. He's got a special don't let me down, available right now on YouTube. Make some noise for my good buddy, though hilarious, Mike Fenoya.

[A]

Mike Pedoya, very happy to have you back on the show. Have you been practicing in your absence?

[B]

Yes. Yes, I have, Louis.

[C]

Great.

[B]

I've been lying to everyone.

[D]

How are you?

[A]

The way I live my life, I.

[B]

Just lie and stare.

[A]

Yeah. Our second contestant and competitor coming to the show, making his Story wars debut. You know him from his amazing podcast on the Gate right here on the Gas Digital Network, clapping up for Gio Perez.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Hell yeah, man.

[C]

Last but not least, our final contestant. Actually, I say at ground level, when this was still just a little routine we would do on Legion of Skanks, this guy was a big supporter. Always loved Story wars from the History Hyenas podcast. And a special property owner, available on YouTube. How about some noise for the great Giannis Pappas in the house?

[D]

Hey, gentlemen.

[A]

It Giannis Papa's back on the show. Never won before, but very competitive. Loves the game, loves the show.

[D]

I really shouldn't. I. This is. I. I should be disqualified from this show. I've lost so many times.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I don't belong here.

[C]

Damn. Be honest. Me and y go so back far. We go back a long way, man. We're both black comedians. Young black comedians.

[D]

That's right. That's right.

[A]

The three of you look like a Beastie Boys cover band.

[B]

That's awesome. It's the best thing.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I'd be thrilled with, like, former rappers from the 90s who now had to get day jobs.

[B]

I make the gas face when people don't even ask me to. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. He's the artist slash manager of the group.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Because the most Jewish is what you're saying.

[E]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That is for sure. If you are unfamiliar with the game Story Awards, it was your first time listening at home. It's a very, very simple game. Everybody on this panel, all five of us, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, Louis.

[A]

Thanksgiving. Because it is Thanksgiving this week, Right, everyone? We're all so ready for our families.

[C]

Alex, our lovely producer, is gonna read eight of those stories off one At a time they are going to appear on this screen. If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to fool everybody that it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[A]

Every time you guess a story correct, you get two points. Every time you fool a person on the panel, you get one point. So when it's your story, you can get up to four points. It's a very crucial moment when it is your story. Once you write your answer on the dry erase board. Put the dry erase board in this little slot right here and remove your hand. That is your final answer. You can't change your answer. And I'll tell you right now, this is a ton of fun. Geo, you've never played the game before. It's a ton of fun. All these new people that are making it their first time here to Story Wars. You're gonna have a ton of fun. But we don't play for fun. Jay, let them know what we're playing for.

[C]

Every year here.

[A]

Every year. Every week.

[C]

Every week.

[A]

You're fucked up today, dude. You're flubbing.

[B]

No, it's gotta be your bull.

[C]

Every week here at Story wars, we are competing for a book from the Story wars library. Tonight's winner takes Home Girl 12 Strategies that Will End Female Bullying by Dr. Cheryl De La Sega and Dr. Charisse Nixon.

[A]

Can we go back in time and give this to my son's mother?

[E]

Y.

[C]

Girl wars dives into the hidden world of girl on girl bullying. The gossip, the exclusion, and social sabotage that can destroy confidence and friendships.

[A]

Oh, I didn't know it was hot.

[C]

Drawing from real stories and years of research, the authors show how these conflicts start, why they spread, and what can be done to stop girls before they turn toxic.

[A]

Girl wars, everyone. Girl wars.

[B]

Wait for the illustrations.

[E]

I. I already read that book while I was locked up in jail. It's a great read.

[C]

Oh, yeah. You should just learn how to play the acoustic guitar, bro.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, the topic is Thanksgiving and G is the only one who's been to prison, and he spent a lot of time there. So any story where it's like, I ate a a bag of cheetos on.

[C]

Thanksgiving morning while turkey loaf and ramen while I got butt by a guy.

[E]

It was so hard coming up with stories that didn't involve when I was in jail.

[C]

Yeah, so I thought he was gonna say the butt fucked part. I've been butt fucked every Thanksgiving. It turns Out. I think everybody who gets it is gonna get it. Are we ready for war?

[A]

Come on, folks.

[C]

We are sold out. I ask again, are we ready for war? Ga ga, ga, ga, ga, ga, ga.

[D]

Filipino Feud.

[A]

Donair.

[C]

Without any further ado. Alex, please. Story number one.

[F]

Story number one. I threw up deer sausage at my ex girlfriend's family Thanksgiving dinner. I pretended to cough into a napkin and hid it under the table on my lap. I continued to eat it and continued to gag.

[A]

Deer sausage.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I say fenoy. You got some deer sausage vibes, my friend.

[C]

You do. I was gonna say my first instinct was Mike on the deer sausage.

[A]

Mike, you also look like your favorite holiday is Thanksgiving.

[B]

It's a pretty great holiday. Yeah, It's a good time for deer sausage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think I want to know where he was locked up, because that could be like a local meat, like, you know, contribution.

[E]

No, you're not allowed to eat sausage in jail. That's gay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. No phallic foods. I'd assume right off the table.

[E]

You're not even allowed to say sausage. You just call them AOs. You're not. Yeah, I sort of got AO sticks. Because you know when somebody says something gay, you're like, hey, yo.

[A]

Is this.

[E]

So they call it a yos.

[C]

If you close your eyes, I know.

[B]

We'Re listening to surgery, right?

[D]

Yeah. You could have taking the AO out and put sausage in there to trick us.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

He's playing the game. Okay.

[D]

He wrote it in his work voice two steps ahead. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You wrote in your white voice deer sausage.

[B]

Could have just been your cellmate. Yeah, I threw up deer sausage.

[E]

I like how you guys think that they. We can. They can afford to give us sausages in jail.

[C]

You think sausage is expensive?

[B]

Yeah, sausage isn't expensive.

[C]

Really?

[E]

For jail it is.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I love me some sausage. I gotta be honest with you guys.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I really do.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

If I was, I would. Any size, any shape, I'll swallow them. Hold like aspirin.

[C]

I really also has got a bottomless throat. He never throws up on deer sausage.

[B]

Yeah. But now that Lewis has been hanging out with Rogan, I got a feeling that, like.

[D]

Interesting.

[B]

He's doing some compound bow.

[C]

It's very possible enjoying elk more.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because this is ex girlfriend. So it's in the past. So Lewis was building up to practicing Rogan things.

[C]

I don't know though. Any girlfriend that Lewis had that would have had a family of, like, hunters or shit, it was always, like, trash girls who like Eyebrows would come off in the rain.

[D]

Jay, Jay, you've just become the prime suspect of this.

[C]

I did date a girl in my right after high school. Girlfriend. That long term girlfriend. Definitely had a family that were like hunter, horseback riding people for sure. But I'm not. I wouldn't throw up deer sausage.

[D]

No, that would be a waste of food.

[A]

I don't care.

[C]

I use all my calories. I'm very. My body works very efficient.

[A]

I also did. My son's mother was from like the Midwest from, you know, their family like lived in the woods and had like cabins and went hunting and all that. So. Yeah, that could be her, but it's not. I'll tell you right now. Mike Fedoya, you just got a vibe of a guy who would be dating some woodsy. Yeah. And her family was forcing deer sausage on you.

[D]

Yeah, that was my.

[B]

That was our safe word.

[A]

And you're a nice. You're also a nice guy. So you would just continue to eat it and pretend that it didn't bother you because you're trying to be in with this person. Nobody else is doing that. Gio would pull out a, A butterfly knife and start threatening the family or something. I have no idea.

[C]

Do you only think bad guys are from Karate Kid too? The only time you saw a butterfly knife used in a crime, did any.

[D]

Could anyone from the audience, could this be like, could they submit stories? Because if they could, the guy right behind Lewis, I think it's his story. I think he might have submitted one and slipped it in there.

[B]

Who, Dennis Eckersley?

[C]

Yeah, this guy's definitely had.

[D]

Guy looks like he's got deer meat in the freezer for all winter.

[C]

That guy's definitely had a dance with a few different kinds of sausage. My man.

[A]

In game four, that guy loves deer sausage. He's not throwing it up.

[D]

I think with this one, you just go with the whitest guy on panel. Right. Deer sausage. Yeah, we'll hold.

[B]

Eh, see Giannis now.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's got to be Greek deer, right?

[C]

Of course.

[D]

We don't eat. We don't eat. We do not eat deer.

[B]

It's you.

[D]

We don't have deer.

[B]

It's you.

[D]

What do you mean? It's you.

[B]

Lip did a thing.

[A]

What is. What is.

[C]

Your lip did it.

[A]

What is your most deer like creature in Greece?

[C]

Lambs.

[A]

Lambs. Yeah, you do eat lambs?

[D]

We eat lambs.

[A]

You Lambs.

[D]

We them too.

[C]

What's up? And that's good sausage, by the way.

[D]

That's good sausage.

[C]

Lamb sausage.

[D]

Depending on the Harvest.

[A]

All right, I'm getting.

[C]

I want to say Mike, but I do also. I thought possibly Yanis. Definitely not Gio.

[A]

Mike Fenoy is my vote.

[C]

This isn't you, Louis. Nope. You don't hang out with woods women.

[D]

I'm going Mike.

[A]

This could be Big J.

[C]

That's what I could.

[E]

Because he threw the blame on Mike right away.

[C]

I also told you exactly if it was me who the girl is, which is a pretty balls out move.

[A]

Now he's leading us into this, whatever this is right now.

[C]

You already voted. It doesn't matter.

[A]

I know. I'm bummed out. I don't want you to get points. I don't know why.

[C]

Let's see if this is as dumb as you. Oh, Giannis. What are you putting in there, buddy?

[D]

I got Mike. I thought it could have been you or Mike, but I'm going Mike. I could have been good.

[E]

Use the mic.

[C]

Wow, wow, wow.

[D]

Mandami wins. And ladies are getting bossy already.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

The ink isn't even dry.

[D]

It's not even dry. I thought it was Alex.

[C]

You call me.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It'S Giannis or Mike.

[B]

I think it's Lewis, dude.

[C]

No, you don't.

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

Now it's Mike.

[A]

God damn it.

[D]

Is it Lewis?

[C]

What?

[B]

I think it's Lewis.

[E]

I was gonna go for Jay, but then he wrote Giannis, which is the least. The. The last person. I would think so. I think it's Mike.

[C]

The last.

[E]

The least. The least.

[C]

No, I know. I say. Really? I don't know.

[A]

Gianna's most familiar familia votes Giannis.

[C]

All right, everyone's answers are in Alex.

[F]

Story number one belongs to Giannis Popos.

[D]

You son of a bitch. You saw my eye twitch.

[A]

Son of a bitch.

[D]

That's it. Who?

[C]

I'm bad at story wars, man.

[A]

Who was this gal that you were dating? Giannis. What was going on?

[D]

That was Jesse Mae Peluso. Syracuse, New York.

[C]

That adds up.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

She hit it with her Geo Metro on the way to.

[C]

Everyone was all pilled up. I've been the. Yeah.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Dear me.

[D]

It's like filet mignon in Syracuse.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. They go. I literally. Well, next time I went, there, they go, everyone's up on fentanyl. And I was like, really? Why they go? Pills got expensive.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I'm surprised they're not deer tenders.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So is there any more to this story? What happened with the family? They didn't notice you doing this?

[D]

At that point, I was like. I was really, like, anti guns you know, and I was very liberal.

[A]

This is before you owned a home.

[D]

Yeah, before I owned it. Before I became. Before I became a property owner. Watch it on YouTube.

[B]

Before Ring Doorbell.

[E]

Before Zoron became mayor.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

When you buy a home and kid, you're like, as many guns as possible in my house, please.

[D]

Yeah, so. And her. Her sister was at her half sister's house. And they were like, hunters and stuff like that. So we got into an argument about gun control at the table. It wasn't fun.

[B]

That's why you threw up. You had a. Yeah, it was.

[D]

No, deer meat's just gamey.

[B]

Yeah, it sucks.

[D]

It's really. It's not great.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

It's for idiots.

[D]

It's for. Yeah.

[B]

Which I'm glad all of you thought it was me. It's for idiots only.

[C]

Well, no, the person back in the story doesn't like it.

[B]

Yeah, real deer sausage vibe.

[D]

I thought I was gonna marry her.

[A]

One. One story down. Alex, where are points at all right?

[F]

On the scoreboard, with two points, in second place, Mike Fenoia. And in the lead with three points, Giannis Pappas. Let's go.

[D]

Yeah, let's fucking go.

[A]

All right, Alex. Story number two.

[F]

Story number two. I went to an out of town family Thanksgiving. I was told to wake up early to take professional family photos. When we got there, I was asked to sit out of the pictures.

[A]

That's so hurtful.

[C]

This could be this. This could be the origin story of a criminal. Gio.

[A]

Yeah. Gio was like, he wasn't supposed to be out of state probably. And then when he went out of state. Yeah. They told him, was like, yeah, you better sit out of those photos. You're gonna get arrested.

[B]

Like, your ankle beeping is really ruining the vibe, dude.

[E]

I'm already banned from Sears. I can't go.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

Yeah, national family photos.

[D]

Trying to figure out whose family would be the most disappointed in them that they'd want to create some distance.

[A]

Also, professional family photos is a white thing, Right. That's not a Puerto Rican thing.

[D]

Even at Sears, it's not.

[C]

You didn't grow up Puerto Rican.

[A]

Yeah, I was talking about Geo.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

The person that wrote.

[C]

I believe that's what you mean. He was talking about Geo.

[B]

They wrote the word family twice, so they're really hurt by this whole thing.

[D]

Jay, how long has this get up been, like, your thing, the style?

[B]

Since Thanksgiving. 96.

[D]

Yeah, so then it could be.

[C]

Jay, ever since picture day.

[B]

You've been dressing anti picture day? Ever since.

[C]

I mean, I really haven't changed my. I mean, besides from long hair to short hair.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Everything's sort of, kind of maintained since I was probably 19 19.

[D]

So did you show up to a family picture, professional photo, in shorts and looking like you were in the band Sublime?

[C]

I don't Sublime. I don't have dreadlocks. But I. No, no.

[A]

This could also be like, he's, he looks very put together now, but Fenoia, people don't know this about him. He's like a Grateful Deadhead. Like, I, I. You gotta go back in the day if. No, he probably had long hair, he stunk of weed. He was just wearing no shoes and garbage bag on his head or something.

[C]

You think? Garbage back on the head?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Hanging out in the shed making deer sausage.

[C]

Your deer sausage grinder?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Like old deer sausages here. Yeah. Well, this is not me. I was beautiful when I was younger and everybody wanted me in their picture.

[A]

Did you have hair?

[B]

I had beautiful long hair.

[A]

Long hair, exactly.

[B]

Luscious.

[D]

Now, Lewis, I know it's not you because two of your family members were dead, so they needed all the members they could get.

[C]

That's true. Or they'd be like, sit down. This picture you remind everybody of. Your father.

[D]

Needed someone to be in the photo.

[C]

You make everybody sad.

[A]

No, that we, my family was too poor to do professional family photos. That just wasn't happen. I, I guess we did like at, at Sears or. I guess. Yeah.

[C]

I think when we were all kids, like, everybody got like a round of their own. There's a picture of me as like a little, little kid sitting on like a fake log.

[B]

Yeah, like that.

[C]

But I don't. Can't remember a professional picture I took after. Oh, me and an ex girlfriend took some pro pictures together.

[B]

Seriously?

[C]

Gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Kmart.

[B]

Gay Mart. More like.

[C]

More like Gay Mart did.

[A]

My girlfriend in high school did. What were they called? Glamour shots.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Remember, if you've ever done glamour shots, you are a stupid. You're a dumb.

[C]

You're fat. You've never. You're fat. You never figured how to do your own makeup.

[A]

You're fat.

[C]

Your fat bitch mom, she got glamour shots. Oh my God, that's so funny.

[D]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Giannis, did you go to Greece a lot for Thanksgiving?

[D]

Nope.

[A]

They don't celebrate Thanksgiving in Greece.

[C]

You went back to the motherland for Thanksgiving?

[B]

Your lip did that thing again.

[D]

Oh, no. Yeah.

[C]

Officer Yanis, you ever go back to Mount Olympus for Thanksgiving, sit with the gods, hash it out?

[D]

We would have it sometimes in Astoria, sometimes at my cousin's house.

[B]

I feel like a professional family photos thing could be a thing in another country that we don't know about.

[D]

Right.

[C]

Oh, I thought you're saying more for, like, a Greek Orthodoxy. Like, serious family is very important to Greek people.

[A]

Well, this is right before Christmas. People did, like, their Christmas family portraits, probably. And this is what happened. I'm deducing. And that's just not what Puerto Ricans do. I think this is Mike. Mike Fenoya showed up with a bong in his hand, stinking a weed.

[C]

And they were like, hey, man, am I too late for the pictures?

[A]

They're like, sit it out, Mikey.

[B]

It could be me.

[A]

That's it. I'm gonna vote and going again.

[B]

It could be me. It also could be you.

[E]

Yeah, well, no, my family couldn't afford that.

[C]

Yeah, but I don't think it would.

[E]

Be Greek people either.

[B]

I know.

[E]

I don't. I don't feel like they're very family oriented and they're not going to leave them out the picture. I feel like that's like white people.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm gonna throw a thing out there.

[A]

I'm. I don't think it's Jay because he's Jewish, and Jews don't show up in photos, so.

[D]

Right. The photos capture the shape shifting.

[C]

Right. We also never thank anybody. Me, you jerk off.

[B]

I think it's you.

[D]

It's Big Jay or Mike.

[B]

I think it's Jay.

[A]

Yeah, it could be Jay, too.

[D]

Yeah, it could be Jay.

[B]

Because I know you have family in other places.

[A]

Oh, and.

[D]

Oh, I think that might be it.

[C]

Oh, yeah, My family's in. All in Philadelphia. What do you mean?

[E]

Don't you have stepbrothers?

[C]

Oh, half Ohio.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

They could be like, me.

[E]

They could have been like, all right, just our full kids right now.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

They were like, only our nuclear family. You can't really be in this photo. We're not putting you on our mantle for the rest of the year.

[E]

We'll take an extra one just for you.

[A]

Oh, no. You figured them out. God damn it, Fanoia.

[D]

I'm just trying to go on his acting chops right now. I'm trying to see. Trying to read them.

[A]

I think Fanoia is right. Big J writing Mike Fanoia, ignoring all the. The noise in the.

[C]

You want me to write J. Ignoring all the evidence. You're like, I should vote for myself.

[A]

No, I. Listen to what I said. I said ignoring or ignoring all the noise and clutter.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

[A]

Jay's piss. He's not happy. And Fenoy writes Mike.

[C]

What? Giannis writes, Mike, you know what I mean?

[D]

Right back at you.

[B]

Right?

[D]

You got me last time, Alex.

[A]

All of our answers are in. I said, mike, but I think it's Big J now.

[F]

Story number two belongs to Big J, of course.

[D]

Fuck.

[F]

Fuck.

[D]

God damn it.

[A]

It's exactly what he said, right?

[C]

Yeah. One of you just told the story.

[B]

Gary said.

[C]

That was Lewis said she told the story. I went to where I first started doing comedy. I brought a girl I was dating. We drove out to Ohio to do Thanksgiving at my dad's house. And he told. He told me the next morning. He's like, hey, wake up. We're doing these family pic, everybody. It's my stepmother. That's where my stepmother's from. Is there? So it's like it's all her family. And we all went to some, you know, photo place. Not a Sears or something. It was like this real studio place. And they said. And they kept bringing everybody up. And at one point, they called up the grouping like you just said. They were like, okay, now the. The Okersons like fashion. And my dad was like, all right, come on. It was. You know, I had two half brothers that were little. And my stepmother and I. And I started to get up in front of my girl. I brought my girlfriend.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

I stood up and started walking over, and my stepmother goes like, oh. I thought it was going to be like, our family.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And I went. I went, hey. And my dad was like, ah, come on, Diane. Don't say. And I was like, that's really cool.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I actually don't want to be in pictures. My girlfriend biting her lip to blood not to laugh at me as I'm going. I mean, I'm walking in a circle. I don't know what to do.

[A]

I'm like, I don't even want to know.

[C]

Where do I sit? I don't care. Pictures are gay anyway. Humiliating. Yeah, I'll say it was not humiliating. Read them points, Alex.

[A]

He did decent there.

[B]

You're more than welcome in all of our Thanksgiving pictures from now on.

[C]

Thanks, bro.

[B]

Love you, pal. I'd be proud.

[F]

All right. In last place with zero points, Louis J. Gomez.

[A]

It's early, baby. Two stories down. I like coming from behind. It makes the story. It makes the story of my victory that much sweeter.

[C]

You like? Come on. Your behind.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

Yeah, come on.

[A]

We're trying to get YouTube monetization. Alex.

[C]

What? YouTube hates. Hilarious.

[F]

Tied for third place with two points each. Big J Okerson and Gio. Perez. And in the lead with four points, Mike Fenoya. Skip, sorry. In second place with three points.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Giannis Pappas.

[C]

Disrespectful.

[A]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment and thank Ridge Wallet for supporting the show. We love Ridge Wallet. I got rid of my nasty ass wallet, Jay. You know that. All I have now is my, my cool, slick, sleek titanium Ridge wallet. Every time I pull it out, if there's like a girl behind the counter at a store that I go to and I pull up my Ridge wallet, I instantly watch her go like, who is this guy? Like a very sexual vibe.

[C]

Yeah, it's a real panty dropper of a wallet. It holds up to 12 cards, comes with RFID blocking technology and a 99 day risk free trial with a lifetime warranty.

[A]

That's what turns them on, is the 99.

[C]

So it's literally the last wallet you and her will ever need.

[A]

Yeah. They also have everyday essentials like key cases, suitcases, rings and phone batteries. Lots of amazing stuff. I love Ridge's entire line. All their products are absolutely incredible. The wallet is what you got to get that man in your life. This holiday season, go to ridge.com r a d g-e.com and get up to 47% off your order today. That's the biggest deal they have all year long. Once Again, that is ridge.com 47% off during the biggest sale of the year. And after your purchase, they're going to ask you where you heard about them. Support the show and let them know that you heard about them on Story Wars. Thank you, Story Warriors. Go get your new wallet and happy holidays.

[C]

What's up, Story wars fans? I want to take a second to thank one of our amazing sponsors and that is Chubby's shorts. Which is not just Chubby shorts anymore. I've always thought of them as just shorts, but they now have flannels pullovers and quarter zips and winter jackets. This company is amazing. All summer long rocking these at the pool, making me look good. I love that lining, that patented design lining.

[A]

Well, the quality is there. Obviously they have the different lengths of the shorts which are incredible. But now with their winter and warm weather gear, Incredible flannels, dude. This is what I'm getting everyone in my my family. This winter is all Chubby's gear. The jackets, the flannels. What an incredible company all year round. I can be a Chubbies fan now and this is actually really cool. I'm not a big football guy, but Jay, I'm Saying, you know, this, this holiday season, you may get, you know, an NFL Chubby collection. They have stretch polo swim trunks for all 32 NFL teams. And I know somebody is a fan of the Eagles.

[C]

I wouldn't wear Eagles swim trunks like that. It's the placement. What I would do is get a Dallas Cowboys pair and then my pants.

[A]

This is a great idea. If you hate your team, you could all over the logo this winter with.

[C]

Chubby shorts.com pissing and shitting all over the Cowboys.

[A]

We're gonna give you 20 off right now if you go to chubby shorts.com c h u B-B-I-E-S shorts.com but if it is Black Friday, skip the code and take advantage of an even bigger markdown during their exclusive Black Friday sale. Make sure they know that story war sent you. Use that promo code wars at checkout for 20 off@chubby shorts.com. otherwise, wait till Black Friday and get the biggest deal they've ever had. All right, where were we?

[C]

Alex, Story number three.

[F]

Story number three. I was smoking with my cousin in my car one Thanksgiving and my aunt came out of nowhere, snatched him out and beat the out of it.

[C]

Gio or Lewis?

[B]

Gio or Lewis?

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

What the.

[B]

Absolutely.

[C]

Could it be both of them? Could they have been together?

[A]

I'm his cousin.

[C]

What are you the cousin? One of you is the cousin.

[E]

I'm definitely the one that got beat the out.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This is what it's like when dubs cry.

[E]

Well, most of my family smoke weed, so it wouldn't be a big deal.

[C]

Yeah, no one would be beating the.

[E]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

But it could also be.

[A]

14, 15, 16 years old in your car. I guess this could be a young cousin. Could be a 13 year old kid. You have no or moral compass.

[C]

Why'd you make up 16 years old?

[A]

Because in his car.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Where'd you get that number from? That was pretty specific. Is that how old your cousin was?

[C]

No, no, hang on. Yeah, it says in my car. Doesn't matter, Lewis. But this is. Does Lewis have cousins, though?

[A]

No one. I have a billion cousins.

[B]

Yeah, there's Puerto Rican cousins.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, I know in that.

[A]

Two cousins in the room.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You've got a float and garbage pile full of cousins, my man.

[A]

Oh, whoa.

[C]

Maybe the it's gonna make headlines. Maybe you think it's gonna make headlines?

[D]

Hey, you floating garbage pile.

[C]

Your family comes from a floating garbage pile. Dude, I'm going viral. Trump, Trump 2020 forever. Forever, Trump 2020 forever. Or in case it goes another Way the other guy forever. Whoever the other person is, forever.

[E]

Sure.

[D]

The reason I suspect Gio is because this just said I was smoking. It didn't say cigarette, weed, crack. Yeah, he said we all smoke weed in my family. He threw in a detail that wasn't there.

[C]

So that's why I did a mijo weed. I understand, but no cigarette. No you breaking my heart.

[E]

But who would get their ass beat for smoking a cigarette?

[C]

Somebody just self hating Latinas that have white trash whites in their family.

[B]

Or maybe it's the aunt's weed and she's pissed you're smoking it.

[D]

Right?

[B]

It's a real dirt bag thing.

[C]

Either way.

[A]

I didn't.

[C]

This is definitely Hispanic.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't.

[B]

No one's looking anywhere else.

[A]

I didn't start smoking weed till I was almost 18 years old.

[C]

Of course you saw your cousin get the kicked out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And you were in your car. That is the reason.

[A]

My. I mean my aunt Anna Marie is an old lady. She's not beating the out of anybody for smoking.

[C]

Oh, dude, I bet you abuse her now to pay her back. Yeah, you give her little whips and you go, no one's gonna believe you.

[A]

Anne Marie, I blow weed in her face. Now you're the one smoking.

[B]

You just hand her empty insures. My bones cracking.

[C]

My bones are brittle. Oh, that's interesting.

[B]

I feel stronger.

[E]

Blowing weed smoke in her face.

[C]

Ashen in it beat the out of my cousin now.

[A]

I mean, obviously. Look, it's either me or Gio. There's no debate for this. I will say we should both make the case why it's not us. And I'm letting you know, I. I was almost 18 when I smoked weed for the first time. Very famously. This all known by. By all the fans and big J. Yeah, famously.

[C]

I hate that term.

[A]

What?

[E]

Lewis, what kind of car was it?

[A]

He wants nice.

[C]

It's world knowledge that this ain't me.

[B]

Well, you haven't smoked. No, he didn't smoke pot until like that time his family asked him to get out of the picture.

[C]

It's not what happened, Lewis. That was. Lewis. It.

[A]

It does just say smoking. It could. It could have been smoking and then it could have been Big J. Yeah.

[C]

Well then it be cigarettes and then it could be me. No, no, nobody in my. My family's progressive. They don't care if I smoke cock. They don't want me to smoke. My cousin's though. No, my family's not weird. They wouldn't like that.

[D]

I think a key word in here is snatched who would use the word snatched?

[C]

I love that word.

[D]

Yeah. Instead of, like, grabbed, I snatched.

[B]

I'm thinking more now.

[C]

I think it's Giannis because he's sucking his own dick for his work. Yeah.

[B]

And you know Greek.

[C]

That's like, wow, dude. Whoever wrote short stories or something? Because I'll tell you what, in this two sentences, I'm locked in.

[B]

I think you're right. You guys pay attention to the poetry.

[C]

That genius.

[D]

It's well written. I'll say that.

[C]

That the economy of words is off the charts. Yeah.

[A]

You.

[E]

You too hung up on grammar?

[D]

No, I just don't think Lewis would use the word snatched. I think it would just be grabbed. Or like, a guy got him.

[C]

Yeah, she came and got him. He N word swipes me. It's not even a term.

[D]

I don't think you would have just picked snatch.

[A]

Yeah, she ganked on. Look, everyone's voting for a Puerto Rican. If you don't, you're stupid. I'm putting my vote in for G. G for me.

[B]

I think.

[A]

Giannis was a wigger, and wiggers live very closely to Puerto Rican lifestyle.

[E]

I'm gonna go with Mike.

[C]

We are the Puerto Ricans of the white community. Yeah.

[A]

Where wiggers and Puerto Ricans line up, it's very, very close. Be honest. Wasn't a big pothead, was he? Were you a big pothead?

[D]

I did smoke a lot of weed in high school. Yeah, I did smoke.

[A]

Another Yanis story. It's a Greek aunt. Some big old. Yeah, dude.

[C]

She's angry.

[A]

She's.

[C]

Oh, yeah. With the feta.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't do accents no more.

[A]

Gio's aunt.

[E]

Oh.

[C]

And the goats and the lambs.

[B]

And the goats and the lambs.

[D]

Greek family would be very disappointed if they found you smoking in the car.

[E]

Like, beat the out of you disappointed?

[D]

100.

[C]

100 now I think it's Louis or Giannis.

[D]

You got to tell the truth. Right on here.

[C]

Not on. Not on this part.

[B]

Oh, was it you?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I wasn't clear on that rule.

[B]

Giannis, are you feeling the vibe that it's Gio? A little bit. Is he shaky?

[D]

A little bit.

[B]

He's been still till this question.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Let me try to get to the mind of his parole officer for a second.

[C]

She's a morbidly obese black woman.

[B]

Shaking a little.

[C]

Take yourself.

[E]

This is not the first time I got interrogated by two white people.

[A]

Do your worst.

[B]

You want a Dr. Pepper?

[E]

I don't know. Hey, buddy, keep your Dr. Pepper.

[C]

You cracker hey, we're gonna order red. I'm not going back. We're gonna. We're gonna order Red Lobster. You want anything?

[E]

It was Giannis. I swear.

[C]

It was all him. He goes, come on, man. We're all sitting here enjoying these biscuits together. You don't want to give us a little taste of something? What you got going cooking out there? I think. Who you putting you on us? I'm in Gia.

[A]

I mean, all in.

[E]

I'm going Giannis, because he's too caught up on words, and that's what somebody who's guilty would do.

[A]

It's Geo.

[C]

Or.

[B]

I think it's. I think it's Giannis, but I'm going with Geo, I think.

[C]

Who'd you say?

[A]

I said Geo.

[C]

I'll take this, jj.

[A]

Jay. Jay. Jay.

[D]

Wait a second. Once it's up, you can't change.

[A]

You can't change.

[C]

No.

[A]

Once it's up, why would you remove your hand?

[C]

It's not your chip, dick.

[D]

It's Louis.

[A]

I'm glad you just. I'm glad you lost those points, idiot. I was trying to be your friend. Yes, I was. I was trying to be your friend.

[C]

Look at your stupid face while you're acting.

[A]

Alex. Alex. All of our answers are in.

[F]

Story number three. Belongs to Geo.

[B]

Yeah, I knew snatched is you snatched, you fidgety dude.

[E]

Yeah, yeah. I use criminal terminology because that's what cops do. They snatch you up. Up.

[B]

That was natural. Tell that story, dude.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

How bad did she beat him up?

[E]

Very bad.

[C]

Don't worry, you fool. This dumb fat.

[E]

At first, I thought it was a cop. That's how bad. Like, she pulled him out the car and started beating the out of him, and I wanted to laugh, but I knew if I did, you'd beat the out of me afterwards, so I had to wait for her to leave.

[A]

How old were you?

[E]

I was probably, like, young 20s. And he was, like, 17.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

You made it out. You were the. You were the one response to be responsible.

[B]

What kind of car was it?

[E]

I think it was like a Corolla.

[B]

Of course it was.

[D]

That checks out. Yeah.

[B]

How many windows were garbage bag?

[E]

Just the one he got snatched out of.

[C]

Who do we Airbrush resting in peace on the back.

[E]

No, I can't say his name because he'd be embarrassed.

[B]

He had Calvin pissing on a Pontiac sign in the window.

[D]

Rest in peace, Angel.

[A]

Matching T shirt, three stories down. Alex, where are our points at?

[F]

All right. Tied for fourth place with two points each. Lewis J. Gomez and Big J. Okerson.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[F]

In third place with three points, Gio Perez.

[E]

Thank you, Jay.

[F]

In second place with five points, Giannis Pappas.

[D]

Let's go.

[C]

Give him a gas.

[F]

And in the lead with six points, Mike Fenoya.

[C]

He cruises through. Let me tell you something. Mike's one of my best friends, and one thing I know about him is he wants to read Girl 12 Strategies that Will End Female Bullying by Dr. Cheryl Della Sega and Dr. Sharice Nixon. Girl wars offers 12, count them, 12 concrete strategies to stop the cycle of female bullying. It teaches you how to recognize manipulation, handle exclusion, and rebuild trust. Each approach focuses on creating empathy and helping girls speak up before cruelty creates long term mental damage.

[A]

Star Wars.

[B]

I'd finally be able to read along to the audiobook that I've been listening to.

[C]

Finally, dude.

[B]

Finally.

[C]

No longer just a voice yelling in the dark.

[A]

Alex, story number four.

[F]

Story number four. I dated a crazy girl that brought me home for Thanksgiving to meet her family. They all liked me. I later found out that they had a huge family fight about whether or not they should warn me about her craziness.

[C]

Dude, this is the log line for Lewis. Yeah, Seriously, Knives and spoons. This is the thing that's on the back cover.

[A]

Yeah. I've dated a lot of crazy.

[C]

Oh, exclusively.

[A]

That's not true. My son's mother is an angel. You need to stop.

[C]

That's why she got away from you as fast as humanly possible. She ran for the hills.

[A]

Yeah, and I've dated a lot of crazy.

[B]

This could be anybody.

[A]

Yeah, but we've all dated a lot of crazy.

[E]

That's why I don't think it's Lewis, because it says girl and not see.

[C]

Alex will make changes. So you know your strategy.

[D]

That's a good one. That's a good one.

[A]

That's true. I mean, have you dated a crazy girlfinoia?

[C]

Absolutely.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Insane. Yeah, crazy like dangerous.

[A]

Dangerously crazy.

[B]

Pretty crazy.

[E]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah, very crazy.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

When we broke up, I started getting stuff from my house, like, returned. She'd leave stuff that she took on my steps.

[A]

Oh, that's crazy.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

So you didn't listen to the family, huh?

[A]

No.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

Busted. Or am I?

[A]

Gio, you're Puerto Rican. You've dated some crazy girls in your day.

[E]

Yeah, but usually I got to warn their family about me first.

[B]

That's actually court order. He goes, if you all will look at your place mats, I need you to sign and date.

[A]

Yeah, I need.

[E]

I need your permission to make sure it's okay that I hang out with your 16 year old daughter.

[C]

No big thing, but they have theater tickets and I have to legally be home by 10. So we can hurry this up.

[B]

We're going to eat dessert soon. The sun's going down, so can you.

[C]

Just bring stuff outside as it's ready?

[B]

I think.

[A]

Be honest.

[E]

Of course.

[A]

You've dated a couple crazy? I have?

[D]

Yes. For sure.

[A]

Yeah, for sure. We've all, we've all done this, shake.

[C]

For sure.

[A]

I see you're writing my name already, Jay. But once again I'm, I'm going to warn you and twice in a row you're going to look like a fool. If you vote for me.

[B]

Part of me thinks this might be Jay too. Because you've dated a couple crazy.

[A]

Yeah, he's dated a bunch of crazy.

[D]

No, no.

[A]

I mean, no.

[B]

You've never dated.

[C]

What I just say? Nah.

[A]

Now I'm thinking of Shay because I know for a fact that's a lie.

[C]

Wow, that's a really fun thing to do. And it's definitely. Let me tell you something, everybody rate Lewis right now. If I'm wrong, I'll go back down. I'll go down to zero points.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

You're in last place. You have exactly two points.

[C]

I'm tied for last place to be in. Louis, can I tell you something? If I lose, if I'm wrong, Lewis can have my two points. You're now in third place.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

All right, fine. Yes, I agree with that.

[D]

Lewis, how many like long term girlfriends have you had?

[A]

What do you consider long term?

[C]

Nonstop.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Non stop girlfriends. Concurrently.

[B]

You mean today?

[D]

Yeah, like long enough to get invited.

[A]

It's a little bit of an overlap between all of the girls.

[D]

Long enough to get invited to a Thanksgiving dinner?

[A]

I mean, I, I, you got to.

[C]

Make sure the next one does anal before you get rid of.

[E]

Is this about Kim Congdon?

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

No. No, not at all.

[C]

Oh my God. God. Oh my Christ.

[D]

Cuz, what I'm thinking is the family had to like. Cuz it's that sentence right there.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And nobody likes me. Yeah.

[C]

That's never out of the gates.

[A]

Say.

[B]

Yeah, I think this could be. This could be deer sausage Thanksgiving. This could be two facts about the same Thanksgiving.

[D]

Yeah. Wow, that doesn't say a lot about Jesse May Peluso, huh?

[A]

Jesse B. Was a lunatic. You're right.

[C]

Yeah. Currently a lunatic. That doesn't matter.

[B]

Yeah, they go, the guy's puking up deer sausage, but who cares? Should we tell him about this crazy chick he's dating or what?

[C]

Yeah, those people thought Giannis was crazy for coming over and yakking at the table.

[B]

That's why they didn't tell you.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

They're like, you two deserve each other.

[A]

This could be literally anybody on this.

[C]

Panel, except it's for sure you.

[A]

You.

[C]

I'm done stalling for you.

[A]

God, please. I'm so happy. You're in last place and you're going.

[C]

To say, oh, whoa. Good for you. Good for you.

[B]

I'm locking in on Giannis.

[D]

Jay's doing a lot of. Jay's doing a lot of misdirection now focusing on Lewis. I'm writing Lewis, so I'm thinking Jay.

[A]

A lot of song on dance. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

But now you're doing the same thing that he just did to me.

[D]

No.

[A]

So now I'm thinking it could be Giannis.

[C]

My favorite thing is someone squints their eyes and reads like it's not them.

[D]

No, my eyes are just really cozy to begin with, so you can't tell. Yeah. I always look Asian.

[A]

You know, as they say, whoever smelt it dealt it.

[D]

I don't know. I think Jay, like, big family fight. Jay probably was really charming at that Thanksgiving.

[A]

They. Jay is likable as.

[D]

He's likable as. Dude, he was in there. He was doing crowd works. Where are you from? What do you do?

[C]

What's your job?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Have you ever thought about it? And then he goes, this guy doesn't. Can't turn it off. And I go, guilty. Yeah. I would kill it. With a crazy girlfriend.

[D]

You would have killed it.

[A]

This is Gianna stuff. It's a brilliant play, but I think it is right now.

[C]

Giannis hasn't voted yet. That means he's trying to get everybody off his trail first. He got me. He beat me.

[B]

Giannis, this is dear.

[A]

This is now Big J trying to push it back to honest.

[F]

I'm done.

[C]

I'm out.

[A]

Yeah, but you don't want people to.

[C]

Vote for you because I voted for you. I think it's you.

[A]

You still think it's me.

[B]

It's too late.

[C]

I do now think too much more that it's Giannis, but I do still think it's you. I. I think there's a chance it's you for sure.

[D]

You think that the family would have liked Lewis that much to warn him?

[C]

Listen, Lewis can come in. Listen, Lewis can hold it together. Yeah. For a dinner.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

But it will not take much longer than that.

[A]

A very big part of that reason is there's food in my mout. I can't talk during those times.

[C]

And he goes back and he goes, you know, you raised a pretty hot. Mr. And Mrs. Whatever her last name is. You raised a pretty hot, insatiable apple.

[B]

Doesn't fall too far from the tree, Mom.

[A]

Yeah, she's a real firecracker in the bedroom.

[C]

You know, Dad, I was wondering where she got that ass. And then I saw you. Dolores. Am I right, B?

[A]

Oh, it's Giannis or Big J. I don't think it's Foya. I don't think it's Gio.

[E]

I think it's Big J or Mike, because you're pushing it, and he hasn't said a word this whole time.

[A]

Yeah, Foya has been weirdly quiet.

[E]

It's not loaded.

[C]

Mike's washing his hands. He's on to crazy. He's doing self suit. Do them.

[B]

It's Giannis.

[A]

All right, I'm thinking Big J. But if Giannis played me into this, it was buddy.

[C]

Look at me.

[A]

I don't. You.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

I don't believe anything you say. Suck my dick.

[C]

If it's not.

[A]

I don't care. I don't care.

[C]

But if it's not me, what if it's not me, will you apologize?

[A]

It's not me. I. I lose this round.

[C]

Why don't you say you apologize to me for telling me to suck your dick when I was just trying to help you? I go. I'll be honest with you, because there.

[A]

Are no apologies in story war.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I smell merch. Somebody want to intern for that shirt?

[D]

I'm thinking it could be Louis Doe. Just talking to the family about big plans, ambition. They like him. This is tough. This is tough.

[B]

Well, Big J or Lewis, it's tough.

[C]

I just wrote to Lewis that our friendship is actually in trouble.

[A]

In real life, this game is really the wedge.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Our friendship is actually in trouble. What? We voted for each other. Guys, it's Lewis.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Oh, you're loving that. He put that. It's. If you don't say Lewis.

[A]

Big J. Oh, dude, it's Big Jio.

[B]

Put it up.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

So happy.

[A]

He's getting Jay's. Jay's playing a big old acting game right now. I don't think it's Gianna.

[E]

Yeah, I was gonna. I was gonna put up Giannis, but then he's like, yeah, that's the right answer. Go ahead. I don't trust that.

[C]

Look at me. I don't. I want to say this. If you're good as Giannis, I'm not gonna tell you because I don't know if He's Giannis. It's not me. I put Lewis. If you don't say Louis, you're gonna give him points. But I don't know for sure it's Louis. That's my guess. But I'm gonna go for the Mike.

[D]

Mike? Yeah, Mike.

[B]

Wasted bat dude.

[E]

I've seen. I've seen some dog millionaire. Your friends give you the wrong answer.

[D]

If it's Mike, he flew under the radar.

[B]

This whole.

[C]

It would have been a fantastic question. Alex, everybody is in.

[D]

It can't be my vote.

[F]

All right, everybody, Story number four belongs to Mike Lewis.

[C]

God damn it.

[D]

Son of a.

[A]

Tim. It was.

[E]

I was gonna be wrong either way, because I was gonna.

[D]

How did you know? Know?

[C]

How did you have.

[D]

Why were you so certain?

[B]

A crazy girl.

[C]

He said, I did. A crazy girl. Lewis, you have to understand. Lewis believes that all the girls were the problem. So when you understand a guy's perspective, you could tell us right now, this.

[A]

Was the craziest girl that I've ever dated. Like, you. You met this one. This was the one.

[C]

Her name was Lewis.

[E]

It was.

[A]

It was a mirror. I was just barking at it.

[C]

It's like, yeah, Lewis, like the smack. This. Like the smack. My up video. At the end of it, it was just him.

[B]

Tell the story, Louis.

[A]

This was the craziest that I've ever dated in my entire life. And, like, this girl, after we broke up, she pretended to be pregnant for months. She was like, that chick. And I. I went home with her for Thanksgiving to meet her family, and they were so sweet, and they were like. They were great. And what happened was, after we broke up and she pretended to be pregnant, I called her house to being like, hey, you know, she won't talk to me. She's saying, we have a baby on the way. Like, just trying to, like, level with her family and her family.

[C]

I just bought a bassinet.

[B]

I need a co signer.

[A]

And then her sister. Her sister called me back, and she was like, yeah, like, we feel really bad. She was like, you just got the craziest girl on the planet. She was like. The whole family had a huge argument about whether or not we should warn you to run, and we just let you deal with this. And then she said the craziest thing ever. She said. She said, you will never get her out of your life for as long as you live. And it sticks with me to this day. I get chills.

[C]

So kill yourself. Kill yourself.

[B]

Lewis then dated the sister for two years.

[C]

Oh, so crazy.

[B]

I'm so pissed. I Didn't f. The minute you started interviewing all of us, us about our crazy girlfriends, I. God damn it.

[D]

Good lay, though.

[A]

No.

[D]

Good lay.

[A]

She was a decent L. This is the same girl that my weed dealer, remember? She. My weed dealer.

[C]

By weed dealer came on my shirt.

[A]

Shirt. Yeah. And then I. And then I wore that shirt out of the house. And then that girl publicly mocked me for it on Facebook later on. Now, look. I look like an idiot.

[C]

Skanks. We called the drug dealer and Lewis, game goes. Dude, I swear to you, I'm not mad about this.

[E]

This.

[C]

We just want to know because it was a story that was told to me. Is this possibly true at all? Did you went my girlfriend, when you came over to sell her weed one day and then come on my shirt? And he went, yeah, man.

[B]

That'S a drug dealer you could trust. Honest guy, no short bags from him. Yeah.

[C]

I hope you call it like a Caesar, man.

[B]

Yeah, guilty as charged, my man.

[A]

All right, all right. Four stories down, where our score is at, Alex.

[F]

All right, in the last place with three points, Gio Perez. In fourth place with four points, Big J Okerson. Tied for second place with five points each, Luis J. Gomez and Giannis Pappas. And in the lead with six points, Mike Fenoya.

[A]

Mike Fenoya holding on to a lead here, Giannis Papas. We're gonna do some plugs right here. Just a second. It's the halfway point of the show, so Giannis, you go first. What are you plugging, my friend?

[D]

Friend History Hyenas podcast. Yeah, listen to that.

[C]

Back. It's back.

[D]

Yeah. Catch. Bozeman, Montana, if you live out there and you're watching this, see me there on November 22nd at the Emerson Theater, Stanford West, Nyack. Some other dates on my website, giannispappiscomedy.com.

[C]

Geo.

[E]

Subscribe to our podcast on the Gate right here on Gas Digital. Thank you. You can catch me here at New York Comedy Club throughout the month. Follow me on Instagram geoprez86 For all my dates.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, boy.

[A]

Mike Fenoya.

[B]

You can find all my [e-mail] F I N O I A. And the podcast is. Are we old? We old. And yeah, it's for you specifically. Thank you very much.

[A]

Big J Okerson.

[C]

Bigjay comedy.com for all my dates. I'm all over the place. Look for a city near you. And the double album Them Day is sold out, officially in pre sale. So thank you all.

[A]

So cool.

[C]

Now it's time to figure out what I'm gonna do a material special coming up real soon. But of course listen to the bonfire five days a week with me and the great Robert Kelly on faction talk series XM103 and of course the Legion of Skanks, the flagship show of the guest digital network. I'm live streaming on YouTube now a little bit, so check those out.

[A]

Come see me live on the road, guys. December, I'll be in Nashville the end of the month for New Year's Eve, I'll be in Columbus, Ohio with the great Zach Amico. And then a bunch of other stuff coming up. Batavia, Illinois, Miamisburg, Ohio, Kansas City, Missouri and more. Lewisofskings.com check out the reg, check out Legion of Skank. Check out my solo podcast, the Lewis Journal Podcast. Go check out my brand new special, you're making this worst available on YouTube right now. Go give that a click and a like and all that other stuff.

[C]

Comment, subscribe, all that.

[A]

If you love this show, you should know that we do a bunch of uncensored and ad free versions of all of our shows here at Gas Digital. They're all available@gas digital.com so if you love the show, you get a pre release on every episode. It's uncensored, it's ad free. There's a bunch of episodes that are not available anywhere else as well. There's a whole on demand library of exclusive episodes. So just go to gas digital.com, use the promo code WAR, save a couple bucks a month, support the show directly. We have apps for iPhone and Android and it's the number one way that you can support this show. All right, second half.

[C]

Second half everybody.

[A]

This, thank you.

[C]

Is where things get intense. Four more stories, four more guesses we all have to make. The Game is Tight is one of our tightest games we've ever had. Two people tied at five, the winners with six, four and three, the other scores. This is anybody's game because ngo, you haven't played the game before, but you might have heard that for the final four stories we go double points.

[A]

That's a huge deal. It's genuinely anybody's game. Even Big Chase, who is in last place. Oh wait, you're not in last place.

[C]

I'm sorry, I'm not in last place. Yeah. Thank you. I'm in fourth place, one point above Geo, two points below the mic in the lead. But doesn't matter because before if you fooled somebody you got one point and if you guessed somebody correctly you got two points. But now that moves up to double points. Points. Oh.

[A]

You guys get it?

[B]

The double fish hook.

[C]

I think everybody gets it. So, Alexandra, let's stop around. Let's get into high gear with story number five.

[F]

Story number five. One year I ended Thanksgiving dinner early by spilling a bowl of hot gravy on a toddler who ended up going to the hospital.

[C]

This could be the reason why Gia went to jail.

[E]

Christ n Dominicans, go, don't go to hospital. They probably would have just put like, vapor rub on his skin.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's also gravy either. Finoya doesn't have children, doesn't want children, and a lot of this might have to be because he poured gravy on one that one time, and it really made a scene.

[B]

That's not.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

At all.

[B]

Why I wouldn't want a child. That sounds like actually a fun thing to do to a kid.

[A]

Big J is not wasting gravy.

[C]

You can't spill gravy out of the side of your mouth.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. If Big J spilled gravy on that kid, he's eating that kid.

[C]

At least the white meat. Yeah.

[E]

Yeah. This seems like a Thanksgiving on Jeffrey Epstein's island.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Gravy on our toddlers everywhere. Seems hot. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

It was a scrumptious hot grease so.

[D]

Much that the kid had to go to the hospital. That's a lot of gravy.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Hot gravy on a toddler causing hospital worthy burns.

[E]

Was it like third degree burns, Mike, or second degree burns?

[B]

I wasn't there. Yeah, I wasn't there.

[C]

I think this is.

[A]

I feel like Fenoia's family. They're not overcooking their gravy. They make some good Fenoia's. The Feno's make some nice, perfect gravy.

[B]

A lot of deer meat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

A lot of big honks.

[C]

Yeah. I'm getting Gio Perez on this.

[B]

I'm feeling that way too. Actually.

[E]

We never had like traditional Thanksgiving.

[C]

Well, no, it wasn't traditional. You made the. The gravy too hot and you burned a child. Yeah. It didn't go good. It ended up in the hospital.

[A]

I will say, Gio having tons and tons of unlooked after toddlers running around. Seems like a very Puerto Rican. Yeah.

[D]

Just a stray toddler.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This feels to me like it came burned.

[C]

And they go, which one? One of them.

[E]

One of the 50.

[D]

What's his name? I think the name's just baby.

[B]

I mean, I feel like that bowl of gravy came right out of the microwave.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

At Gio's house.

[C]

And they went because two minutes doesn't seem like a lot of time, but it boils your gravy.

[B]

Yeah. And I bet half that gravy's still in the microwave. Grave on the walls, caked.

[C]

I can't argue with any of this. This is Gio Perez. I'm not going to put it in just yet, because, you know, whatever, but I'm pretty sure it is.

[E]

Dominicans don't use gravy, so go ahead. Waste of o.

[C]

What do they use?

[E]

We don't.

[A]

Baby.

[E]

Bean juice. That's our gravy.

[B]

Oh, like at the bottom of the can.

[C]

This also could be Giannis for sure.

[D]

I. I'm very good. I'm very careful with gravy.

[B]

Not toddlers.

[C]

Oh. It does say the person themselves spilled the gravy. Some of this person is responsible for hurting a toddler.

[A]

I ended Thanksgiving dinner early by spilling a bowl of hot gravy on a toddler.

[C]

The whole bowl. Giannis, you have a child?

[D]

I have two of them.

[C]

Two children.

[D]

I have two children.

[E]

Was it your own kids?

[D]

Was it my kids that I still gravy on? No, that. That wasn't me.

[C]

God damn it.

[B]

Good detective work, Gio.

[E]

Hold on, hold on. Say it again.

[B]

The student has become the teacher.

[D]

No, we. You know, we don't do turkey at Thanksgiving. We do lamb.

[A]

Do you guys really?

[D]

Lamb?

[B]

Yeah, there's lamb gravy. Who said anything about turkey?

[C]

There's no talk of turkey.

[B]

Giannis, who said anything about turkey?

[C]

It could be lamb gravy, dude.

[D]

Yeah, I assumed. It's Thanksgiving. We're in America.

[B]

Well, you don't have it.

[D]

Huh?

[B]

You don't have turkey. You said you don't have turkey.

[D]

We have lamb and then sides of turkey.

[C]

You deceitful.

[A]

Wait a minute. Your turkey is your side. That's making me furious. That's how little you think of turkey. Like, oh, it's just a side dish.

[D]

We don't.

[C]

This.

[D]

This is a city of immigrants. Why don't you calm down a little bit?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Free buses, free sides of turkey.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Respect my culture.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

L. Working in a communal garden now that Mumbabo Uiti is the mayor.

[A]

All right, I think this is. Here's the thing. At first, I didn't think it was this person, but he's kind of sitting over here, a little smug right now. He's got a little bit of excitement in his eyes, a little glint of confidence.

[C]

Mike hates toddlers and loves hawk.

[A]

Jason. Mike Fenoya is my vote right here.

[D]

Yeah, Jason.

[C]

What? I didn't vote for You.

[B]

No. I thought.

[C]

But I. I understand why he's voting for you.

[B]

You're saying there's of a vote.

[D]

There's something that subconscious has to be going on. Right. He doesn't have kids. He saw the toddler. He dumped it on his head.

[C]

Yeah. Toddlers and I burn their faces.

[B]

I think you got Mike. It's a massive waste of a vote.

[C]

Well, I didn't vote for you, but.

[B]

I think you already locked it in. What'd you.

[C]

I locked it into Giannis. I'm just saying. One of Giannis's.

[B]

I voted for Giannis three times.

[D]

There's.

[F]

There might be.

[C]

This might be like a trip.

[D]

It could have been a trip. I've noticed when you wear. You usually Air Force ones. Shoelaces are a little tight. Long shoelaces.

[C]

Untitled.

[A]

It's got a chain wallet too.

[C]

Deflection. Laces are always undid. Done. It's a deflection 100%. Lace is always undone.

[B]

To sit out of the.

[C]

I do have a chain wall though. You're not wrong with the chain wall thing.

[B]

They asked him to sit out of the picture. Maybe cuz he poured hot gravy on top.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You get the horn.

[C]

That was days we can't.

[A]

You have. Have you beat this picture. You maimed a toddler.

[C]

All right, I'll hold that freak in the picture.

[B]

I'm going J. J. I think.

[C]

Oh really?

[A]

Mike votes big J.

[C]

It's Mike Giannis.

[A]

If it ain't you.

[C]

It's Mike.

[E]

What the hell?

[B]

Why would you say that?

[C]

Because I'm getting my kicked in. You're in the lead.

[D]

It's not Geo, right?

[C]

No.

[D]

Too much of an organized Thanksgiving.

[C]

God damn right. Prison Thanksgiving is probably pretty organized.

[A]

Just sucks the honest. Using the smallest handwriting possible.

[D]

It's Mike.

[A]

Lots of votes for Mike Finoya.

[B]

You're all stupid.

[A]

All of our answers are in. Mike seems a little bit annoyed right now.

[C]

He's annoyed, but I gave him points. You.

[D]

Me, Alex, Jay.

[C]

Damn it. Nope.

[F]

Story number five belongs to Mike Fenoy. Yes.

[D]

Knew it. Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That was a big moment for you to pull ahead. Mike Foya.

[B]

Allow me to explain, please. I spilled.

[C]

A boat.

[B]

A gravy boat. You know those stupid gravy boats. I thought the bottom was attached to the boat and I grabbed it and I fumbled and it went all over my little sister. Yeah. And it burned her up. But she didn't have to go to the hospital. My family's just.

[C]

She could have been Freddy Krueger could.

[B]

Have just dealt with it.

[A]

But Everybody. She didn't have to get skin grafts. We could have just left her.

[B]

She screamed. She screamed so loud, and I felt terrible. And. Yeah, that was. And everybody kind of did like a. Look what you did. You.

[A]

How. How old were you?

[C]

I was 27 years old.

[B]

It was last year. No, I was. I was 13.

[A]

How old was she? Five.

[C]

Burnable by gravy.

[B]

She was five.

[C]

Hospital burns from gravy.

[B]

Yeah, she was.

[D]

She was.

[A]

Was five. She just kept on looking at you going, why, Mikey?

[C]

Why?

[B]

Big, big baby tears like those. And she went like, pull it together. And everybody.

[C]

I love gravy. Until now.

[B]

I stayed home. They all went to the. To the hospital, and I stayed home.

[C]

Oh, no pictures for you. The dolphin. And now.

[A]

And now she haunts teenagers dreams at night.

[C]

That's right. Ever since then.

[B]

Dude, we're still very close.

[C]

One, two. Mike's sister's coming.

[B]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, it was me. God damn it. Way to go, guys.

[A]

Five stories down. Alex, where are our points at?

[F]

All right. In last place with four points, Big J. Okerson.

[D]

Not. Not your night.

[F]

In fourth place with seven points, Gio Perez.

[D]

Nice.

[C]

Well done.

[F]

In third place with eight points, Mike Fenoya. And tied for first place with nine points each, Luis J. Gomez and Yanis Papis.

[C]

I am slowly but surely finding myself.

[A]

Out of this game that you're truly anybody's game. Zil. Jay, come on, stay in it.

[C]

I got it. I got it.

[A]

Jay has a headache.

[C]

No, I got rid of the headache. I just. I feel want. But it's you. This next one's you, Alex.

[A]

That was definitely me. Alex. Story number six.

[F]

Story number six. I spent one Thanksgiving with two alcoholics, a trans, and a young boy.

[B]

Geo. Oh, that's jail.

[C]

That is jail. Yeah, I never thought of that.

[E]

That's just me and my bunkies.

[D]

This is a very progressive thing.

[A]

A young boy.

[C]

I was so locked in the joke that it was Lewis that I didn't realize this very much. Could be Geo.

[E]

I'm thinking it's Jake because it sounds like the people you go on the road with. Two alcoholics, a trans, and a young boy.

[C]

I bring Mike Fenoy.

[B]

I was on the road with him last week. What am I. Hi. You want to see my.

[E]

One of the.

[C]

You want to see my big old.

[B]

He thinks I'm a young boy.

[E]

That's nice of him. No, the young boy's Dylan. Obvious.

[D]

I could have spent one Thanksgiving dressed as Maura. Could be me.

[A]

That was true.

[B]

Oh, that's all You. Each one of them is you.

[D]

Yeah, that's right.

[B]

Mr. Panos is too alcoholic.

[C]

Started going crazy in a hotel room doing the thing.

[A]

Could be me, Giannis. First of all, giannis is like 65 years old. People don't realize this about Giannis. He's very old. He's lived a very long life. New York through a lot of different iterations of New York. New Yorker through and through. This is just like a straight up, like. Giannis had five roommates. He was 19. This is just who it was. He lived with two alcoholics, a trans and a young boy. For some reason.

[D]

Well, it's not just some reason. I'm Greek. So it was preferred. It was actually an ad that was answered in the paper. Greek man looking to mentor.

[B]

That's what they call a lamb in Greek.

[C]

I'll say this. Lewis lived in like the hotel where Sid Vicious killed his girlfriend. You know what I mean? Like, it's. He lived in like a place.

[A]

First of all, it's the Chelsea Hotel. It is a beautiful hotel. It's not a dump at all.

[C]

It's a dump.

[A]

You're just saying that. It's not dump. It's literally not.

[C]

It is.

[A]

It's an extremely expensive hotel. It's very nice.

[C]

It's a.

[A]

It's not.

[C]

It's like furnace heat. And that's.

[A]

You go look it up. You don't have to. Is it.

[E]

Is it nice enough to house two alcoholics, a trans and a young boy?

[C]

I assume I should just lives in the hallway.

[A]

No, I live there.

[C]

My.

[A]

My rich girlfriend lived there, and I stayed with her when she lived there.

[B]

I mean, really, haven't we all spent Thanksgiving with two alcoholics, a trans and a young boy? In Mandani's America? Yeah.

[D]

Now, this could have been Gio in jail. A trans, a young boy.

[C]

That's what I said first at first, too.

[D]

But what would the young boy be? The young boy be doing this there, though, working there.

[E]

And the trans wouldn't be there.

[C]

Like an 18 year old kid is not like, I guess. How old are you?

[E]

Me? I'm 39.

[C]

How long.

[B]

How old were you when you were in jail?

[E]

From 16 to 19.

[C]

That's it.

[B]

Oh, you were the young.

[E]

No, I mean 16 to 29.

[C]

Sorry.

[A]

16, 29.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

I was like, how is that your entire identity?

[C]

Why do I give you all this double you all this credit is a long time felon. Yeah. No.

[E]

Yeah. Last time I came home, I was 29.

[A]

Two alcoholics, a trans, a young boy.

[B]

A Partridge, a Pear tree five, golden ring.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Jay, you got any alcoholics in your family?

[B]

Yeah, but Jade goes on. Jay's gone on the road forever.

[C]

Uncle Mark was an alcoholic.

[B]

This could have been like a. Jay was doing a gig and it was like, on Thanksgiving. Yeah, dude, you work all the time. We all know that.

[C]

But there's no shows on Thanksgiving anywhere.

[B]

Because of this time. It's Jay's law.

[D]

I just feel like this is a Thanksgiving environment that produces someone who goes to prison.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[C]

That's what I say. Yeah.

[A]

I think this was actually in prison. I think that'd be sheltered.

[B]

This could be a shelter moment.

[D]

This just seems a little. First of all, what's a trans and a young boy doing? Are they together? Like they're playing basketball?

[F]

That's right.

[D]

I'd take you to the hole. I have no idea.

[E]

We're playing spades.

[D]

It's got to be Geo, dude. Or Lewis.

[A]

That's my vote, is Geo.

[C]

I bet my. I bet my whole thing on it.

[A]

That is Geo. All right, gentlemen, if I don't get.

[C]

This right, I gotta be almost.

[B]

God damn. It could be Giannis.

[D]

Well, but two.

[C]

But also. But it couldn't.

[D]

It also could be Lewis. Again, I'm just. Not to beat a dead horse, but two alcoholics, trans and a young boy. What do we notice here? There's no parents at this Thanksgiving. Very well could be.

[C]

That is.

[B]

Well, that's the two alcoholics.

[C]

That's also.

[A]

I don't. I don't mean to beat a dead Lewis's mom.

[E]

I mean, but you were a latchkey.

[B]

Kid, too, so this could wait a minute.

[C]

Yeah, for sure. But latchkey on Thanksgiving?

[D]

This is an unsupervised Thanksgiving given.

[B]

Wait, but the two alcoholics could be the parents. So does anybody have a trans brother or sister or both?

[C]

And a trans brother.

[B]

Is it your story?

[E]

Also, this could have happened. This could be Mike, because after he burned his sister, they probably kicked him out and he had to spend it with the.

[C]

Oh, he might have been in a shelter after you destroyed your sister forever and destroyed her uterus and she couldn't procreate.

[B]

It's the day I lost my hair. I think it's you, Gio, because this feels like the young boy was visiting the alcoholic for Thanksgiving. Like, it's like someone's kid came to visit in prison.

[E]

I mean, the young boy could have been with the trans person, too. You never know.

[B]

Oh, the kid visiting kids, visiting prison.

[C]

I thought it was just. It sounds like to me, like just the crew at A TV Thanksgiving in jail.

[E]

Damn, I gotta pick somebody.

[D]

Now that's jail.

[A]

Votes for Geo all around. Everyone thinks it's Geo Perez.

[C]

It's pretty on the nose.

[D]

He's also taking a long time to.

[B]

Do his, like, pretending it's not him. We really don't understand the criminal now.

[A]

All of whatever this. Yeah, whatever this. Song and dance sensitivity. Makes no sense.

[D]

Yeah, it makes no sense. Who does?

[A]

Just write any name. Gio.

[E]

No, because it's one of you two guys. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go with Lewis.

[B]

Do you know how to spell Lewis? G, E, O. Luis.

[D]

Holy.

[A]

All of our answers are in.

[D]

It is him.

[F]

Story number six belongs to Big Jam.

[C]

Damn it.

[A]

What a round. The audience is on their feet. Standing ovation. They're losing their minds right now at home. Everybody, everyone. You really gotta be here being thrown off. Jay, what is this story? Who are these people?

[C]

It's very simple. Two alcoholics, Bobby Kelly, Jim Norton, a trans, Jim Norton's wife, and a young boy, Bobby Kelly's son.

[A]

God damn it.

[D]

God damn it. Damn it.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

That was right in front of our noses.

[A]

Damn it.

[B]

That haiku style. I thought it was you too. That's nice writing you.

[C]

That's our points.

[A]

Oh, I'm pissed. Oh, I'm pissed.

[B]

God damn it.

[F]

In last place with seven points, Gio Perez. In fourth place with eight points, Mike Fenoia. Tied for second place with nine points each, Luis J. Gomez and Giannis Pappas. And in the lead with 12 points, big J.

[A]

Is this the day that Big J open Wilkerson gets a w? Only six victories in 66 episodes of the show.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

This could be the day, guys. You guys are here for history.

[C]

That was a big, big round.

[A]

That was a huge round.

[E]

And all because none of you guys knew I was transphobic. Fucking your fault.

[C]

When he goes, it's you too. I'm gonna go with Lewis. And I went, idiot.

[B]

Wow. That's what we all think jail is, is a young boy.

[E]

We wish we had trans people in jail.

[C]

Hey, real quick, let's thank one of our amazing sponsors over here at Story Wars. And that is aura frames. This is just in time for the holidays. I'm glad we got these guys back. Our frames have been a gift giving staple of mine for several years now. And I also, I'm not just talking that. I'm also a client myself. Lewis, you've been to my house. You know, my aura frame is right in my dining room on the mantle there. And I love it.

[A]

They're awesome. They're really cool, dude. It's even if you're not a like, they kind of market it to like moms and like grandmas and shit. They're just cool for anybody. Like you're not displaying all of your cool pictures from your phone on your. You know, nobody's printing them out. My sister does that once in a while. She get a printed. But it's a whole process and it's very expensive. Now you have an or a frame. You could have all the coolest photos from Skank Fest right in your aura frame, right at your mantle.

[C]

Yeah, you could also do this again. They do market this to moms and grandmoms. But here's things that I think no one ever thinks about. Our frames. You can send pictures directly to the Aura frame. So you can get your boy in our frame and then just start sending pictures of your wiener that will show up in his living room.

[A]

Jay, don't be a childish. You could also do your butthole. You could also do your other friends wieners. You can get a collection of wieners and have just rotate through on Christmas morning for his whole family. Christmas wieners courtesy of Aura Frames now.

[C]

Or you could just show grandma pictures of the grandkids without her even having to leave the house.

[A]

This is what I'm getting my aunt Emery, she. She has a flip phone. She can't even get pictures.

[C]

Fine. Tell me what our frame number is because.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no.

[C]

You can't have my an embryo frame handle.

[A]

You can also just preload it and have it ready for Christmas morning with a bunch of photos in it. And it's an unlimited amount of pictures. That's what I'm unlimited amount of pictures that you could have for it as well. So for a limited time visit auraframes.com that's a U R-A frames.com and get 45 off Aura's best selling Carver Matte frames named number one by wire cutter. If you use the promo code checkout, that's auraframes.com aura frames.com promo code wars to save 45 on their best selling Carver matte frame. Okay, story warriors. Let's take a quick moment from all this fun and thank Body Brain Coffee, my company for supporting the show. Body Brain Coffee is just five simple ingredients. Premium freeze dried Colombian coffee blended with adaptogens and nootropics that will literally make you feel like the best version of yourself. It's for men and women. We always market towards men because it does bring up your testosterone levels. If you're an older guy, and you're worried about your testosterone, and it'll bring them up to your premium levels. But it's also got lion's mane for. For brain function. L Theanine. It's got ashwagandha. Just five simple ingredients proven to make.

[C]

You feel like the best version of your other ingredients.

[A]

Tonkat Ali, Tomcat.

[C]

Ali's back.

[A]

No, he's back for revenge.

[C]

No, I thought I dealt with him in Thailand years ago.

[A]

He's got a cat's head.

[F]

No.

[C]

He'S hungry for blood.

[A]

He kind of looks like King from Tekken. Ali looks like King. In my mind, he's like a big cat guy. Anyway, Tongkat Ali is in it as well. That's what's boosters. Testosterone. It's pretty, pretty incredible. People really, really love it. If you guys use the promo code War20. War20. We're gonna give you 20 off your order today. Go grab. Buy a couple bags this holiday season. Get them for that man in your life that needs a little more Testosterone Naturally. Body Coffee dot com. Promo code War20 for 20 off. All right, where were we? Alex, story number seven.

[F]

Story number seven. Every Thanksgiving in my youth, my friends and I would meet up for a game of tackle football before dinner. The ground would already be hard from the cold. One year, one of the guys broke his collarbone on this.

[C]

Sounds like Connecticut Fenoia.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

This is sweaters tied around the neck.

[B]

Yo. What the. Do you know me?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Shredder side around the neck. That's only how people committed suicide with your friends, though.

[C]

It's just people who would like sweaters around it. No, it has to be one of.

[E]

You two guys, because if it was me, it'd be baseball. If it was him, it'd be soccer. So it has to be the two football guys.

[C]

Why use soccer if it was Greek skin picking? Oh, no.

[B]

And if I wrote this, I would have wrote it like I wasn't just learning how to write.

[A]

Did you say foreskin picking?

[C]

Now it's back to Lewis.

[B]

The ground would already be hard from the cold.

[C]

Lewis never played football growing up.

[A]

Never.

[B]

Yeah, but this is meet up for a game of tackle football. Every kid played football that didn't play football.

[C]

No, I don't think.

[B]

You never once played.

[A]

I don't. To this day, I don't understand what football is.

[C]

Come on.

[A]

Like, I don't get the points, I don't get the downs.

[C]

I believe you. It's not Louis.

[A]

Sometimes it's three, sometimes it's four. Sometimes the only reason it might be.

[C]

The only reason it might be Lewis. The reason it might be low is because he said a game of tackle football. Yeah.

[B]

That's like just calling pizza cheese pizza.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. That's how I feel. Exactly. That's how it feels to me.

[D]

It's the way my girl. By way my wife would describe.

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yes, yes.

[B]

You don't call pizza cheese pizza.

[D]

Right?

[C]

Right. Yeah.

[B]

You don't call football tackle football. It's Lewis.

[C]

Yeah. It's like calling your television a color television still.

[A]

I'm watching Finoya throw this off him.

[C]

So it could be Fanoia, like a.

[B]

It's not.

[E]

Maybe you added the tackle so we know that's why he broke his collarbone.

[B]

I mean, now I think it's you. It's not me. You could write me, but it's not me.

[A]

Tackle. What other type of football is their flag touch?

[B]

It's Lewis.

[A]

All right, it's me.

[B]

What other kinds of football? Well, there's Powder Puff.

[C]

I'm right. I'm writing Lewis and I'll see if I change my mind.

[B]

That's Giannis. Where'd you grow up? Queens.

[D]

Brooklyn. Yeah.

[B]

You didn't do this. You were playing on this. You're playing stickball on the street. We played against military.

[C]

I assume it's kind of difficult to tackle football ball in the street.

[A]

Giannis was chasing black kids out of his neighborhood.

[E]

One sided tackle football.

[C]

You couldn't do tackle football until the streets got loaded with snow.

[B]

Yeah, we.

[D]

Yeah, we played on the sidewalk football, whiffle ball in the street.

[B]

Mrs. Lewis following by.

[A]

I mean, Yanis, you've watched me throw football.

[B]

You could have been the center.

[D]

Yeah, but you.

[C]

Yeah, you have a center and pick up football.

[D]

You're doing a lot of like.

[C]

He's exclusively to long snapper yet, but.

[B]

Loose only comes in on option and wildcat.

[C]

I mean, I'm Lewis, I'm talking utility back.

[A]

But they also. They have. They have like parks and in Brooklyn, right?

[C]

They do.

[D]

I grew up right by a park.

[A]

It is, yeah. Plenty of parks in Brooklyn and people.

[B]

Would play football already behind.

[D]

Tackle football. That's how someone broke their collarbone bone.

[B]

In my youth. Who would say in my youth.

[D]

In my youth.

[B]

Line right there.

[C]

Lewis, I think. But also maybe you.

[B]

No.

[C]

You'Re my. By the way, Gio is really biting his lips with pure excitement that no one's even thought about him. I mean, he's really excited.

[B]

Oh, yeah, dude. This could be in the yard of the prison.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the ground wasn't hard because it was cold, it was hard. Because it was stone.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

That wasn't frozen grass.

[C]

Gio.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Parking lot. You and your family have weak collarbones.

[C]

Very pronounced.

[E]

Yeah, but I'm playing with my friends, not my family.

[D]

No, but yeah, the person says they're playing with their friends.

[B]

One year, one of the guys broke his collarbone.

[C]

One of the. Oh, yes. That was the frail collarbones. The friends also.

[A]

I feel like Gio would say that one of the guys.

[E]

Yeah, I'd use the N word.

[A]

Yeah, that's my.

[D]

This could be a tip off, though, that whoever wrote it didn't know how to play football, so they tackled the guy hard.

[C]

I'm taking. This is not a big football person because of the way it's written.

[D]

I think.

[C]

Making me think. Lewis.

[D]

Lewis.

[B]

I think Geo.

[C]

You are. You're up on sports. Yeah, you know sports?

[E]

Yeah, kind of.

[A]

Ah.

[C]

You know how football.

[A]

Geo's got an evil smirk going on right now.

[C]

You understand how football works?

[E]

Yeah, for the most part.

[B]

Oh, see, now you're playing. This is. It's Geo.

[E]

I'm being honest. It's not. It's not. Maybe you can vote me. Sure.

[D]

It does sound like maybe it was Geo. And this, like, this is what the statement he would give to the cops to be like, I'm not.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

This is so.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

The ground was hard. He hit the ground. I don't know. How is Carl lebron.

[C]

Bro, Bro.

[E]

Don't mind the shoe print on his chest. So what if it matches my Air Force ones?

[D]

In my youth, officer, I did a lot of bad things.

[E]

No, I would have said you football.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In my youth. Very Latino to say.

[A]

I don't know if it's latte. That sounds like a white guy thing to say.

[E]

Yeah, we don't use that.

[C]

We.

[A]

We use, like my youth.

[B]

I don't.

[E]

Would never say as a young bowl.

[A]

Yeah. Latino youth is white guy, middle age. So.

[B]

It'S Lewis.

[C]

Geo.

[A]

I'm putting my vote in Geo Perez. Oh, come on.

[D]

I am positive.

[C]

State sacrifice. It's your Geo.

[D]

I'm positive. It's Lewis or Geo.

[E]

I'm positive.

[C]

I'm positive. Unless it's you. And you're doing a great thing right now. What you're doing right now is awesome because you're only working. Giovanni, it's.

[A]

Hey, yo. Hey, yo. Chill, though.

[B]

God damn it. It's Giannis. It's Giannis. You did the eye thing.

[C]

Could be.

[D]

It's Mike. It's Mike in Connecticut.

[A]

Giannis just thought it Was everybody in the past eight seconds?

[C]

That means it's Giannis.

[D]

It's Mike. It's Mike. Somebody broke their collarbone. It was Mike.

[A]

That is a white injury.

[C]

Yeah, it is a white injury, Mike. White people.

[A]

White people have some ass collarbones. Racist.

[B]

We would have just covered him with a kayak and said it never happened.

[D]

Let's go. I know it's Mike.

[C]

It's all over the place. All right, everyone's answers are in.

[A]

Alex. Wow.

[C]

Our penultimate story belongs to.

[F]

Story number seven belongs to Lewis J. Go.

[A]

Ah, yes, we did. We played football every year, and every year I was like, I don't know what the Is going on out here, guys?

[C]

Are we playing tackle football?

[A]

Guys?

[B]

Did you break the guy's collarbone?

[A]

No, no, no, no. Somebody else did, dude. He got taken down, and we didn't even know. We just thought he was, like, hurt. We were like, all right, get up. Whatever. And he kind of sat out, and.

[C]

Then he kind of.

[A]

He played a little bit more, and then we found out, like. Like days later or whatever that he actually broke his collar bone. He's Kid Lee. Shout out Lee.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Damn it, damn it, damn it. I was really going with you. At the last second when you said Giannis's eye twitched again, I thought it was you.

[B]

Yeah, you.

[D]

Me, right there.

[B]

Oh, well, you yourself.

[D]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

Alex, seven stories down, where are our points at?

[F]

All right, in last place with seven points, Gio Perez. In fourth place with nine points, Giannis Pappas. Tied for second place with 12 points each, big J. Okerson and Mike Fenoya. And in the lead with 15 points.

[B]

God damn.

[F]

Luis J. Gomez.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

Double points.

[B]

This is the, like, the World Series, man.

[D]

Come back.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

This is literally down to the wire.

[B]

Anyone's game.

[C]

Anybody's game. Anybody can mathematically win this game still. Even me, huh?

[E]

Even me.

[C]

In last place, Even you.

[B]

You could play giant killer, and I'll.

[C]

Tell you, you're gonna want to win this game because you would get to take home. Girl Wars 12 strategies that will end female bullying by Dr. De la Sega and Dr. Nixon. It reminds us that while girls can be each other's biggest critics, they can also be each other's strongest allies through understanding and guidance. Ending girl bullying isn't just possible. It's the first step towards raising a generation of women who lift one another up instead of tearing each other down.

[A]

That was beautiful.

[C]

Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

Beautiful. One more story. You guys ready for the final story? Come on.

[D]

Final story.

[A]

Alex. Story number eight.

[D]

Wow.

[F]

Story number eight. My girlfriend went through my phone while at friendsgiving.

[C]

Oh my God.

[F]

And ended up chasing me out of her friend's house.

[C]

I mean Lewis.

[F]

I mean.

[C]

Or me. Yeah, or I don't know, G. Maybe definitely me and Lewis. Is it me and Lewis?

[A]

Never been. Never been chased out of a house. But I mean, every relationship I've ever had has ended with a girlfriend going through my phone.

[C]

Chased out of a house is her friend's house. Fuck.

[B]

See, I would. If anyone said you want to come to friendsgiving, that's when they'd stop being my friend.

[C]

Yeah, I have never had a friends giving and that doesn't mean G A Y.

[D]

What is a friends giving? Just friends at Thanksgiving.

[A]

It's where a bunch of. A bunch of dudes get in room and start sucking each other off.

[D]

That's makes sense.

[C]

Janice just acted like he didn't know what friends giving was.

[B]

Yeah, it's the turducken of friendship.

[E]

Wait, this story shouldn't even count cuz it's supposed to be about Thanksgiving, not friendsgiving.

[B]

Oh, now it's Gio.

[C]

Maybe it's Gio.

[A]

Could it be Gio playing a smartphone?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How old are you?

[B]

No, you're 39.

[E]

Yeah, I don't do that. Gay. And I would never run from a. That's not in my DNA.

[B]

Oh, he did it.

[C]

You never dated? No. Crazy ass white.

[E]

That's all I dated. But I would never run from. From them.

[B]

This is Lewis or Giannis.

[C]

Now I'm angry for a different reason.

[A]

Yeah, you're not really dating a crazy chick, right? Like you. It's always normal chicks.

[B]

I've been married since the word friendsgiving was invented. I hate that word.

[C]

It's an awful word.

[B]

I say humbug.

[C]

This could be Lewis, but I don't see. I mean, Lewis would go to a friends giving, but.

[B]

But yeah, if it was. If there was the prospect of. He'd go to Friends. Watch Friends.

[C]

This feels. This feels Yanis to me.

[D]

Did you go early because it's you? Maybe possible, yeah.

[C]

Ever done a friend's giving?

[E]

What did you find on your phone?

[A]

Yeah, Jay's only lived in Philly and New York, so he goes home for Thanksgiving every year.

[C]

Not every year, but I do shows out there now, so I've been out there for a bunch. But I will tell you this.

[A]

This.

[C]

Girlfriend went through my phone one time. Very on record. Turned everything in my life upside down actually. But that was the only time ever it's never happened again. Because that's what's at the other end of my wallet chain.

[A]

Keeps his phone chained to him at all times.

[B]

Unless you call every meal friendsgiving.

[C]

You want to read it? You want to read my phone? You're going to wake me up.

[D]

Jay's the only one on record to have admitted he was at a friends giving with Bobby Kelly. Jim Norton.

[C]

No, that was Thanksgiving.

[A]

Thanksgiving.

[C]

But that was. But that was Thanksgiving. On Thanksgiving.

[D]

But it was friends.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Friendsgiving is a day, a different day where they do.

[A]

No, you can do a friends giving.

[C]

That's not what friendsgiving is. By definition. It's a different day.

[A]

You sure know a lot about yeah.

[D]

You know a lot about friends giving. You know a lot about friends given.

[A]

That's very interesting.

[D]

Sure you know a lot about friends giving, my friend.

[C]

Last time it was over this way. I already voted.

[B]

Did he vote super fast?

[D]

He did, yeah.

[C]

I voted immediately. Tell.

[D]

Yep, yep.

[B]

Jay votes so quick when it's his story.

[C]

Vote for Jay.

[A]

It could be Foya trying to do a little bit of throwing on a big J right now. You got friends giving energy, brother.

[B]

Bro, I'm not you. You think you know me, but you have no idea.

[A]

You.

[C]

Oh, the diary of story. The diary of Mike Fenoa.

[B]

My last friend's giving. Somebody ate peanut butter with their fingers.

[C]

And I was like, yeah, you're gonna give me wades.

[B]

You're gonna give me aids. He blew a snot rocket.

[C]

I be honest quickly because this feels like this is a very white thing.

[A]

I do be honest has some flavor.

[C]

I would know Mike if Mike had a girl going through his phone story. Yeah. No, Lewis. I would feel a guy would know this too. But I could be wrong. This could be Lewis. But Lewis doesn't seem like a friends giving guy where he's going with a girlfriend than that. But maybe if a girl want. If it's a new relationship and a girl wants him to go to friendsgiving, he'll go. So this could be Lewis. My first instinct was Giannis and I hate fighting my instincts, so I went with it.

[A]

You hate fighting your instincts, so you wear nail polish and thread your eyebrows.

[C]

I hate fighting my instincts. And this looks way better wrapped around wiener than just.

[A]

Seraphina. Put some clothes on.

[C]

Jesus Christ, Seraphine, for the love of God, keep putting some clothes on on Seraphina. For Christ's sakes.

[B]

It's Yannis or Lewis. It's definitely not me. I think when I started dating my wife, I had a BlackBerry. So my girlfriend going through my phone isn't even a thing. Please don't Vote for me. It's a waste of a vote.

[D]

But that a young. A young Thanksgiving would be. According to Jay, that would be. Be a. A Friends giving, right? Like after you with your family, you're like, let's go. Let's go meet up at the mall or whatever. Have a friends giving.

[C]

Well, not the mall. It's a dinner thing. Giannis, you're trying to throw people off.

[A]

Stupid smirk.

[C]

How.

[A]

How.

[E]

How does your lady. How does your lady.

[C]

I don't want anybody else to vote for y.

[A]

Just now he's like, let's go.

[D]

Could happen at the mall, right? It could be a mall friendsgiving.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just be at the mall for friends giving.

[B]

That's not even.

[D]

It happened anyway.

[C]

He's acting like he doesn't even know what the concept is. I never heard what's friendsgiving Is how you guys go to see a movie. It's friends giving. Is that like a car. Is that like a car rally?

[A]

Oh, how.

[E]

How did you say.

[A]

Is that where we show up? We put all of our names in a bucket and then we pull out a name, we give that person a gift.

[B]

Yeah, I've never heard of it said secret friends.

[E]

Miss.

[A]

Oh, dude, how old is your wife?

[E]

How does your wife.

[B]

That's not for you to know.

[E]

All right.

[C]

73 years old. Mike's a gold digger.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

He's hanging in there until she dies.

[B]

Let's say she's still alive.

[E]

All right, I'm going.

[A]

My vote, Giannis Papus. That was a strange moment that he had there just now. Yeah, I think he's playing the game right now. He's got a sneaky.

[C]

I should have made such a to do about it. Ah, me.

[D]

What did Mike vote? What did Mike vote?

[A]

Mike for you. Everyone voted for you.

[C]

I should have gotten more points as I voted.

[D]

So here's the deal. Since their votes are in, it's not me, so it's one of you fucks. It's one of you fucks. I'm trying to win this game, so I'm playing dirty. I'm playing dirty. Dirty. That was all an act, baby. I got all four of you. I got you right where I want you. I got you right where I want you. I got you all right where I want you.

[C]

Because I'm winning this game.

[D]

I played five times, and if I don't come out of here, Victor, I'm leaving. Like Wally in Wally World in Vacation.

[A]

Alex, mathematically, what's your honest point's at right now? Give me the point spread. Right. Right now. Cuz can mathematically. Can Giannis win this right now?

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

He's got nine. Nine points.

[D]

Yes. I'm in a position. It is not me. So let's figure out which one of you this is.

[A]

But if he guesses correctly, he still can't win.

[B]

It's not. It's not Yanis.

[F]

He can't win.

[C]

Yeah. Why did. Yeah.

[A]

Wally.

[F]

World.

[A]

Roy.

[C]

Wally.

[F]

If it's.

[A]

You should.

[C]

You should have.

[F]

You'll get four points and. And you won't catch up to Louis.

[D]

But what if I get. Guess it right?

[F]

If you guess it right, you'll get four points. You won't catch up to Louis.

[B]

Giannis. It was me.

[D]

Can I ruin any. Can I ruin anyone else's victory?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay. Let's ruin somebody's. Let's be a spoiler here. Big J Okerson is. His tell is he always votes early when it's him. This is Big J Okerson.

[C]

Oh, my God. He's just giving somebody else more points.

[D]

It's Big J. I don't think you should.

[B]

I don't think it is. I want to help you get second place. I don't think it's Jay.

[D]

You don't think it is?

[B]

I don't think it is. I genuinely don't think it is. I think it's.

[C]

Yo. It ain't me. I also think if it's not you.

[D]

Which it's not me.

[A]

I don't think it's Giannis at this point.

[D]

Yeah. It's not me.

[C]

It's. Then I. Then I believe Lewis is the next.

[B]

Yeah, I do, too.

[C]

Louis could be talked into a Friendsgiving.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

For a chance.

[B]

You want to go to Friendsgiving. Can you hear that?

[A]

I mean, it's not. It doesn't matter.

[B]

It's Louis.

[D]

You think it's Louis?

[B]

I do. I genuinely do. It's not Jay.

[C]

Could be Mike.

[B]

It's 1 million percent not me. I promise you, dude.

[A]

Good.

[D]

It's not Geo.

[C]

But you promise you never stop having sex with me.

[A]

The only reason. The only reason we're playing this game and even doing this at this point is just simply to manipulate you. There's no upside in it for you. There's no downside in it for me. I just want to hurt your feelings as a friend.

[D]

It's 50. 50 right here. It's one of you two guys. These two guys are canceled out. I know for a fact. I want to get this.

[A]

I think it's Big J at this.

[D]

It's one of you two guys saying then for sure. Friends giving.

[C]

See the story again.

[D]

Friends giving.

[A]

Here's big. Look at big J.

[F]

Now I'm thinking.

[D]

I don't think Lewis would remember my.

[C]

Girlfriend went through my no leis. Would Friends giving. It says and ended up no.

[A]

It could be. It might be foia.

[D]

It's not foya. It's not.

[B]

No, it's absolutely.

[C]

I don't recall a story my like being chased out of a friend's house.

[B]

I would have told you that I don't have a lot of good stories.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And the word friends giving. You wouldn't remember what it was called. You wouldn't be like I was a friend.

[C]

No, he would. No, no. Lewis assimilates big when he wants in. He sees a white family that has a little bit of capital. He'll make friends giving work.

[A]

This could be.

[B]

He brings both political signs.

[C]

This could be Gio getting fresh out of jail, hooking up with some fat white pig who just had a bunch of going on. And then she got pissed off at him because he was using her for cash.

[E]

I don't have friends or girlfriends.

[B]

So this is not me.

[C]

But you have the big fat girl.

[A]

With a mustache for putting his vote in.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Big J Okerson is the final vote. All of our answers are in Alex, whose story was story number eight.

[F]

All right, everybody. Story number eight belongs to. It was Geo Gio Perez.

[D]

Mother.

[E]

And all I had to do was keep my fucking mouth shut.

[A]

But Gio just said nothing and he just got a perfect full score. Gio very smart to use the term friendsgiving. Nobody saw a Puerto Rican doing that.

[E]

I'm Dominican, but who is this? Yeah.

[B]

Called me Puerto Rico.

[C]

So I did not want to.

[B]

Correct.

[C]

He's been calling you that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

The rest was just accepted it.

[A]

Who was this chick? Tell us the story.

[E]

So I was dating this crazy Italian and easy. That's all there is in Long Island. I don't have a choice.

[C]

Sure.

[E]

And she. She went through my phone because I was on the road for like two weeks right before that. So she suspected something. Something. So she waited for me to go to the bathroom.

[A]

Question, was she right?

[E]

Not really. Not 100. She just got mad because a girl sent me a reel and I reacted to it. And what the real was kind of pissed her off.

[B]

Kids.

[A]

It was you sucking your.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

No, it was like you're sucking her.

[E]

No, it was like a girl. She was just like showing it just said the caption was like game like. And she squatted over like a kettlebell.

[C]

Okay.

[E]

And then she made it look like, she picked it up with her.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

Go to a friendsgiving.

[C]

Good friends.

[E]

So when I came out the bathroom, she asked me the girl's name, and then I walked out to avoid the fight, and then she just chased me and ended up trying to run me off the road, followed me to my house, caused a scene, keyed my car, tried to break all my windows, woke up.

[B]

Your abuela?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

You're abuela?

[E]

Yeah. And then we stayed together for like, six months after that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Very good.

[B]

It's a friendsgiving miracle.

[C]

I. I think I know what happened here, but. Alex, run them scores down. Our final scores, question mark.

[F]

All right. In last place with nine points, Giannis Pappas.

[D]

Every show. It's every show. This is like five times in a row that I'm last place.

[C]

But you made a big mark, though. You leave a big mark.

[E]

And you almost guessed me the last one.

[D]

I mean, I. Twice Feno messed me up once. Once.

[F]

Tied for third place with 12 points each. Big J Okerson and Mike Foya.

[B]

It's an honor.

[C]

I tasted.

[A]

I was right there for a minute.

[B]

It's an honor.

[F]

And tied for the lead with 15 points each. Lis J. Gomez and Gio Perez.

[C]

It's a Puerto Rican showdown round.

[B]

Knife.

[C]

Finally, two Puerto Ricans. One's not Puerto Rican. What will happen?

[B]

Yeah, everyone out in the street for a knife off.

[A]

The way. The way it works when there is a tie, we go to our one final tiebreaker round. One round. It's just me versus you. They're gonna pull up one story. It's gonna be one of these three guy stories. So it's gonna be a Yana story, a Fanoya story, or a big J story. But before they pull that story up, you or I have to wager between 0 and 15 points. You can wager up to the amount of points that you have.

[C]

Have. Don't. Don't say it.

[A]

Don't say it.

[C]

You're right on the back.

[A]

The back of your board.

[C]

Back of your board.

[A]

You don't show anybody.

[B]

This is incredible. This is better than winning. The loser gets there. The loser gets their credit score shown to the audience.

[A]

Between 0 and 15 points. Geo, if you get it right, you get that many points added to your score. If you get it wrong, that's taken away.

[C]

And now our final story, the tiebreaker Story number nine.

[F]

Story number nine. When I was a kid, my grandmother had a stroke at the Thanksgiving Table bowl. I saw the whole thing and it really freaked me out.

[C]

That seems like a Giannis. That's a good Greek story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let's see here.

[C]

You think it was me?

[A]

No, I don't think it's.

[C]

My grandmother died two years ago. She's in perfect health until then.

[A]

Oh, my. Yeah, but didn't say she died. She had a stroke.

[C]

You could survive Thanksgiving table. She was the last.

[A]

Maybe Grandma talks like Heath Robertson. Hudson. Oh, what up, playa? Come give my mama pass the gravy.

[B]

This corn stinks.

[C]

God damn it. Your corn stinks.

[A]

Could it be Giannis? Could it be Giannis?

[C]

I feel like it's Giannis. My big fat Greek Thanksgiving as a kid. Absolutely. She had big flappy arms and made a great. That chicken lemon soup.

[D]

My. My mother had me when she was. Was 43 years old.

[C]

Holy Christ.

[D]

Was my grandmother around? Was she not? You do the math.

[C]

I mean, probably. She was probably old enough to have a stroke at the Thanksgiving table. When you were a kid. When I was a kid, my grandmother was 51.

[D]

Jesus Christ.

[C]

Yeah, my mom was a slut. My knees behind the ears from a pops when she was 19, buddy.

[B]

I think when I was a kid, I think my grandmother was like, 41.

[C]

Yeah. No, man. My mom was a. I know these sound. I know these sound like Puerto Rican stories, but.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

My grandmother was 35, so she couldn't. Had a stroke.

[C]

Well, yeah, ab stories.

[A]

My grandmother was literally. When I was born, My grandmother was 36 years old. Yeah, no, 35. 35 years old.

[C]

And how was she already grandmother?

[A]

She was 15 when she had my mom. My mom was 20 when she had me.

[B]

It's a common thread with comics.

[C]

How old was she when she. How old was she when she killed her first fucking person?

[A]

Come on, dude.

[C]

It's initiation.

[A]

I feel like this is a dark story. Giannis has a little bit of darkness to him. This is why he dresses up as a woman and an old Greek guy and he has all these multiple personalities.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it Mrs.

[C]

The darkness of Mr. Panos?

[A]

I'm getting Giannis Papa's vibes. This is gonna be my vote. I'm putting it in.

[E]

I don't think he'd freak for the win.

[C]

Giannis, this is why you pour all of that anger and inner turmoil into Mauricio.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

No.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

This year, no.

[A]

Geopress votes for Big J. Okerson. Two different answers.

[C]

My grandmother died two years ago. She was fine.

[D]

Dude, this was. This was definitely Mike Fenoya. You guys up?

[E]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

You. Oh, no, it's you up.

[D]

We're gonna have to do another round.

[B]

My grandmother's still alive?

[E]

Well, it depends. Many points.

[A]

Alex.

[F]

Story number nine belongs to Mike Fenoy.

[D]

Wow. I knew it, dude.

[B]

And it would freak any kid out. Dude.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

I was nine. My grandmother sat across from me and she went like this. And part of her went dead. And her arm went down. And I was like. And I pointed. And they got her and brought her to the hospital.

[C]

You were like, fucking Abbott thing.

[B]

One word.

[C]

And then.

[B]

Yeah. It was her last Thanksgiving.

[C]

And it.

[B]

Really freaked me out. I saw the whole thing.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

All right. Well, did you.

[A]

Did you still finish your meal? You did?

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

I was like, I'll be there in one second.

[E]

He got startled and poured gravy on.

[B]

A top and jumped in the ambulance.

[A]

We were both wrong. I. I wagered all 15 of my points, so I went down to zero.

[B]

Gio, first time, eight points.

[A]

Oh, yay.

[B]

Congratulations, bro.

[C]

That means.

[E]

Wait, hold on. I gotta ask. So now I can say double points.

[C]

Gio Perez, you are the new Historia Warrior. Welcome to the archives, my man. It's so good to have you. Thank you so much, everybody, for being here. How about our amazing panel? The great Giannis Pappas. The great Mike Fenoia. Your newest story, Warrior Geo Perez. I'm Big J Okerson.

[A]

And I'm Louis J. Gomez.

[C]

And we'll catch you guys next time on Story Wars. Thank you Story much. Good night.