070. Rich Vos, Sean Patton, Dave Temple | Hotels

Summary

Story Warz Ep. 070 – Rich Vos, Sean Patton, Dave Temple | Hotels

Date: December 5, 2025
Host: Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez
Panelists: Rich Voss, Sean Patton, Dave Temple
Location: The Stand Comedy Club, NYC

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Episode Overview

This episode of Story Warz on the GaS Digital Network revolves around the theme of "Hotels." Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez welcome comedians Rich Voss, Sean Patton, and Dave Temple for a riotously competitive game of deceptive storytelling, where panelists must bluff, deduce, and outwit each other with wild (sometimes incriminating) hotel stories from their pasts. With the stakes set—a copy of Quantum Mechanics in Everyday Life—the mood is rowdy, ruthless, and packed with old-school road comic tales, clever misdirections, and the kind of jokes you’d only hear in a green room.

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Structure & Rules of the Game

• Each panelist submits 3-5 anonymous hotel-themed stories.
• Eight are selected and presented anonymously by producer Alex.
• When a story is read, panelists use dry erase boards to guess whose story it is while the author tries to deflect suspicion.
• Correct guesses = 2 points; successfully fooling others = 1 point per duped panelist.
• In the second half (rounds 5–8), point values double.
• The winner receives the "Story Wars library" book for the week.

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Key Moments & Story Highlights

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[01:10] Introductions & Banter

• Welcoming the sold-out audience; jokes about a “wedding ham” attendee.
• Jay, Luis, and panel riff about how often Rich and Dave have lost on the show before.
• Sean Patton claims, “Second time [competing], got cheated the first—looking to make up for that.” (03:16, Sean Patton)
• Rich Voss quips about being credited for old accomplishments: “I was so offended she didn’t know my new credits, you know.” (06:14, Rich Voss)

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[06:41] Explaining the Game

• Today’s theme: Hotels.
• Mechanics, scoring, and prize details.
• Prize promo turns into race-jokes and friendly panel ribbing: “That was worth two Kamala presidencies.” – Luis (05:51)

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[09:59] Story 1: Noisy Neighbors and the Cops

[Timestamps: 10:02–22:35]

• Story: TV volume war leads to cops being called at a hotel.
• Panel debates plausibility; tries to deduce if it’s Rich (“classic old Jew road dog move”) or Louis.
• Sean Patton gets away with the bluff, and it's revealed he’s the author – the chaos included a naked couple accusing him of being an intruder, and a police search over a false gun allegation.
• Sean: “Then I get a knock on the door, and it's her, and she's naked... then the guy, with a full erection...” (20:14ff, Sean Patton—delivered in deadpan; this wild visual is a crowd favorite.)
• Memorable reaction: “Yo, that was good, Temple. That was good. Away. I called that way late in the game.” (18:32, Lewis J. Gomez)

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[29:17] Story 2: Broke and Robbing the Hotel Desk

[Timestamps: 29:17–35:45]

• Panel rundown: Who robs a hotel—Rich’s junkie past or Luis’s “Hispanic” upbringing? Or Dave, the “former biker with a checkered past”?
• Rich Voss, with self-deprecation and comic bravado, is revealed as the culprit: “I had 40 years sober. I don't rob people or hotels. I would have stole... your drugs back in the day.” (31:57)
• Story details: Hitchhiking down the shore as a teen, getting caught up in petty theft for a meal and quick cash.
• Jay: “Another day, get a mortgage.” (35:13, on how far $25 once went.)

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[37:48] Story 3: Motel Hookup and the Roach Escape

[Timestamps: 37:48–47:42]

• Story: After receiving oral sex in a motel, the teller flees, blaming a bug.
• Rich again! “After you bust a nut with some girl, you're like... you know what I mean?” (47:21, Rich Voss)
• Jay, Lewis, and others all fall for the misdirection—Jake accuses everyone but the real culprit in comedic frustration.
• “You're too old to say 'bust a nut' anymore. Just say 'came.'” (47:28, Lewis J. Gomez)
• Running joke: If in doubt, just blame Voss for every depraved scenario.

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[50:50] Story 4: Florida Hotel Squatting During a Hurricane

[Timestamps: 50:50–59:30]

• Story: Squatting in an evacuated Florida hotel, getting caught on vending machine security camera.
• Luis J. Gomez finally gets a win, recapping an epic saga of street promotion, natural disaster, and an absurd escape by limo.
• “That is the most Puerto Rican story I've ever heard.” (59:32, Dave Temple)

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[66:23] Story 5: Bed Bug Dilemma and Demand for Justice

[Timestamps: 66:23–72:49]

• Story: Girl demands “justice” for a captured bedbug—author fakes a confrontation with the front desk.
• Panel riffs about racial and relationship dynamics—Jay: “This is like you're dealing with a black woman. Black women, they're very intense. Get your ass down there and get my motherfucking money back!”
• Dave Temple is outed as the real author: “Yeah, you have to get up and act like you fucking did something.” (72:06, Dave Temple)
• Classic panel improv: Jay and Lewis improvise black woman dialogue—raucous, rowdy, on-brand for the show.

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[73:51] Story 6: Ejected From His Own Hotel Room for a Six-some

[Timestamps: 73:51–84:26]

• Story: The storyteller is asked to leave his own room while friends have a six-some.
• Jay: “You're a loser.” (75:15, Big J. Okerson, roasting himself)
• After panel wide speculation, Jay admits humiliation: he lost out to Joe DeRosa for the affections of a woman in spectacular, written-note fashion.
• “She wrote down a thing and folds a piece of paper up. I couldn't wait to grab it... It says: 'Joe.'” (82:43, Big J. Okerson)
• Panel: Derosa celebrated as the comic who “proves women are just as damaged as men” (84:02, Sean Patton).

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[90:57] Story 7: Going Down on a Girl Who Falls Asleep

[Timestamps: 90:57–100:35]

• Story: Hooking up with a (drunk) female friend, giving oral—she falls asleep mid-act.
• After wild tangents about beard hygiene and race, Jay admits: “She was asleep. ...You know, she called me the next day, and we've been friends since we were kids, and still... but she goes, 'Hey, did we hook up last night?'” (99:00, Big J. Okerson)
• Panel: joking about “eating competition”; Rich, “When she fell asleep, that's when [Louis] would've robbed her.” (94:30)
• Story cements Jay’s “committed to the bit—even to unconsciousness” reputation.

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[102:02] Story 8: Blocking a Roommate’s Canoodling at a Comedy Festival

[Timestamps: 102:02–113:01]

• Story: A comic lets an unbooked peer crash in his room at a festival, but has to shut down an attempted hookup as he lay “asleep.”
• Panel focuses on use of “canoodling” (old-school word); consensus is it's Voss or Sean.
• Sean Patton wins the final reveal: He describes kicking out an annoying roommate mid-seduction—by loudly pretending to use the bathroom and returning naked.
• “I straight up jumped up, went to the bathroom with the door open... I made a big production out of it.” (112:38, Sean Patton)

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[115:04] Tiebreaker: The Road Comic’s Alibi

• Jay and Voss are tied for the win.
• Tiebreaker story: “A comedian advised me: Never let a girl stay the night; make sure she's laughing when you walk her to the lobby...ask the time at the front desk. This will keep you out of trouble.”
• Both guess Dave Temple—correctly. Temple explains: this was Voss's real-world advice to him early in his career.
• “If you're ever on the road and you're hooking up with a chick...Just get her laughing and talking on the way out—never get accused of rape.” (120:04, Dave Temple recounting Rich's advice)

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Final Standings

1. Rich Voss — Winner (2x Story Warz champion, 16+ points after tiebreaker)
2. Big Jay Okerson — Tied 1st, fewer wagered points in tiebreaker
3. Sean Patton
4. Luis J. Gomez
5. Dave Temple

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Notable Quotes

• “That was worth two Kamala presidencies.” (05:51, Lewis J. Gomez)
• “Every story could be six degrees of Kevin Bacon back to Luis J. Gomez.” (54:12, Lewis J. Gomez)
• “After you bust a nut with some girl, you're like... you know what I mean?” (47:21, Rich Voss)
• “I've never been looked at by a penis before. She was looking at me.” (23:25, Sean Patton)
• “If you hang out later than everybody else, a girl will fuck you.” (84:03, Sean Patton re: DeRosa)

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Recurring Themes

• Rich Voss as Ageless Road Comic: Old-school misadventures of the comic road life, including theft, motels, and awkward sex.
• Comics Roasting Each Other: The entire episode is a roast in disguise, with each panelist the target and perpetrator in turns.
• The Art of the Bluff: Panelists routinely feign forgetfulness, double-bluff, or muddy the waters with throwaway accusations.
• Raucous Honesty: Panelists, especially Voss and Jay, unflinchingly own up to embarrassing or outright criminal misdeeds.
• Generational Gaps: Younger comics marvel (and mock) Voss’s world of checkered exploits and pre-wokeness survival tactics.
• Race & Gender Jokes: Numerous running bits about race, sometimes on the edge, but handled as part of self-dissecting comic culture.

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Most Memorable Segment

• Sean Patton’s Naked Encounter & the Cops ([19:06–23:25])
  A surreal hotel-adjoining-doors fiasco, culminating in naked neighbors, a hard-on, police confusion and a false gun charge—delivered with Sean’s unique, anxious storytelling style. Both hilarious and hauntingly vivid.

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Conclusion & Tone

“Story Warz: Hotels” is a masterclass in comedic camaraderie, unsparing self-exposure, and the fine line comics tread between humility and bravado. Each panelist brings wild tales and sharper wit, but it’s the mutual respect—and relentless ball-busting—that make this episode a standout. With every story, the contest grows tighter, the ribbing meaner, and the underlying respect for a life lived in green rooms, motels, and dodgy clubs shines through. As always, Voss wins by being the most incorrigible road dog of all.

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For full chaos, listen in person—no amount of text can fully convey the laughter, misdirection, and energy. But this summary should give you every laugh and gasp-worthy moment—bugs, bedbugs, blowjobs, broken dreams and all.

Transcript

[Big J. Okerson]

Why choose a sleep number Smart bed?

[Dave Temple]

Can I make my site softer?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can I make my site firmer? Can we sleep cooler? Sleep number does that cools up to eight times faster and lets you choose.

[Big J. Okerson]

Your ideal comfort on either side. Your sleep number setting.

[Dave Temple]

J.D.

[Big J. Okerson]

Power ranks sleep number one in customer satisfaction with mattresses purchased in store and online.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And now all mattresses are on sale.

[Big J. Okerson]

Plus free home delivery during our cyber.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Week sale limited time.

[Big J. Okerson]

For J.D. power 2025 award information, visit jdpower.com awards check it out at a Sleep Number Store or sleepnumber.com today. Hey story warriors. Black Friday is upon [e-mail] every item is buy 2 get 1 free shirts, hoodies and brand new mugs now available. We got the double point shirts, we got the logo shirts. Many more coming soon.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So if you head on over right now to Story wars merch, that's wars with a Z. StoryWarsMerch.com get your merch today. All right, let's start the show.

[Sean Patton]

Fill her up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Big J. Okerson]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the Story Warriors. Big J. Okerson and Lewis J.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go.

What the is up? Welcome to Story Wars. Everybody makes noise for me in here, would you? New York.

[Big J. Okerson]

Wow, look at this. Another sold out show here at the New York Comedy Club, our home right here in New York City. Get those tickets to come Every Wednesday night, 7:45pm Eastern.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Always selling. Welcome to the show, everybody. You don't have to tell them where to get tickets, you dickhead. Out of the gates. We always ask this every show. How many people here are familiar with the game Story wars.

[Big J. Okerson]

And how many people are not familiar with the game Story Wars?

This guy's not at all. And he's very vocal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, dude, that guy is a wedding ham. I feel it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, dude, this guy, he's been the best man four times.

I can't stand him already.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sir, he is a ham for sure.

[Big J. Okerson]

Sir, I'll refund your money. You could leave right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This guy doesn't have one T shirt, doesn't have a funny saying on it.

My other motorcycle is your mom, something like that.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm not gay, but $20 is 20 dol.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you're unfamiliar with the game, it's your first time watching the game here. We will explain after we get our esteemed panel up on the stage. Our first contestant tonight, you know him from the show English teacher, which is happening right now, season two on Hulu. His special number one available right now on YouTube. Make some noise for the hilarious Sean Patton, please.

[Big J. Okerson]

Thank you. Sean Patton. This year. Second. Third time here.

[Sean Patton]

Second time.

[Big J. Okerson]

Second time on Story Wars.

[Sean Patton]

Second time, got cheated. The first looking to make up for that.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is gonna be a good, very early Story wars competitor, Sean Patton. So the game has evolved a lot since you've been here.

[Sean Patton]

Has it?

[Big J. Okerson]

I think so.

[Sean Patton]

All right, I'm ready for that. I'm ready.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't remember.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think that's true.

[Sean Patton]

I think I feel like it's like funny stories and then I get cheated. I think that's the.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, you're gonna.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're pretty much. Yeah, that's how it rolls.

[Big J. Okerson]

Louis, I have a feeling tonight you're gonna do very, very well on the panel.

[Sean Patton]

How do you know? How do you know that? Do you know the stories already?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

That would be cheating. That would be cheating for sure.

[Sean Patton]

This is the most lit I've ever seen this room. And it's wild.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is lit.

[Sean Patton]

It's very like, I've never seen. I've done so many spots here. It's such a small dingy.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is this for us that we're this lit?

[Big J. Okerson]

You can actually see the blood stains.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see the scars.

[Big J. Okerson]

Our second competitor also returning to Story Wars. You know him from his podcast, no need for apologies on the GAS Digital Network. Clap it up. As loud as good for Dave Temple.

[Sean Patton]

I think this one's you. I think this one's you.

[Dave Temple]

What up, story warriors?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What up? What up?

[Big J. Okerson]

You. You did not. You also did not win the last time you were here.

[Dave Temple]

Nah, I did bad the last time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was on so everyone's redemption song tonight. Also last but not least, joining our panel, you know from a special 30 minutes with Rich Voss available on YouTube.

[Big J. Okerson]

And a former winner on the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And also a story warrior himself. Make some noise for the legend, the hilarious Rich Voss.

That was very. It's very rich boss TV music.

[Rich Voss]

It feels like double point.

Here's the thing. I'm big fans of you guys. You gotta up my credits. I got some newer stuff. You know what I mean?

[Big J. Okerson]

It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you know, this is a gas digital show, so Lewis is always going to make sure they plug the thing you did with gas digital. 30 minutes with rich Voss.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, we'll go over some other stuff. Yeah, you know, when I. A quick story. I. I had to go into the emergency room one night.

[Dave Temple]

Emergency room.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. What are the odds the white man.

[Big J. Okerson]

Getting correct when a black man is correcting you on your speech.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That Was progress. We did it, everybody. Right here. That was worth two Kamala presidencies.

[Big J. Okerson]

I think that was the moment that racism ended.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. So, I mean, the emergency. Anyhow, my. I have. She checked my prostate. A female doctor. And then she's washing her hands. She goes, I loved you on last comic standing. And I was so offended she didn't know my new credits, you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That does suck me.

[Rich Voss]

Do something.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich. Do you not. Do you not remember how the show works? Do you think you have to come out and tell your stories up top?

[Rich Voss]

Listen, you're lucky I'm here. I'm a big act.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is an amazing panel we have tonight. You guys came on a great night. If you're unfamiliar with the show or the game, it's a very simple one. Everybody on this panel, all five of us, including Louis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular topic.

[Big J. Okerson]

Tonight's topic, Hotels.

That's right, folks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, our lovely producer, is going to take eight of those stories and read them off in no particular order. One at a time is going to pop up on this screen. If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to fool everybody that it's not your story. If it is not your story, it is your job to guess whose story it is.

[Big J. Okerson]

Every time you guess a story correctly, you get two points. And every time you fool the person on the panel, you get one point. So when it's your story of the opportunity to get four points, it's a very big opportunity. In those moments, once you put your answer on the dry erase board, put the dry erase board in the slot right there and remove your hand. That's your final answer. You can't change your answer after that. And this game is a ton of fun. You guys are gonna have more fun than you've ever had, sir. You're gonna uncross your arms at one point. You're gonna have an amazing time. He's very pissed off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For some reason, his glasses are fogged up with feet.

[Big J. Okerson]

With anger, this guy.

[Sean Patton]

No, no, don't. Just do it. Let's earn it. Yeah, let's earn it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let us earn it.

[Sean Patton]

Let's earn it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let us earn it.

[Big J. Okerson]

We are not playing for fun here. Jay, let him know what we're playing for today.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every week here on Story wars, we are competing for a book from the Story wars library. Tonight's winner goes home with Quantum Mechanics in Everyday Life by Dr. Wilton L. Virgo Classic class.

Quantum mechanics is a study of how the tiniest particles in the universe, like atoms and electrons, behave in unpredictable ways. The laws of quantum mechanics operate on a scale too small to see, yet they shape everything around us. Dr. Wilton L. Virgo shows us how these invisible principles aren't just theory but the reason our everyday world works the way it does.

[Big J. Okerson]

How we're just giving that away tonight, huh?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're just gonna give that to whoever wins.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's crazy.

[Rich Voss]

How much can you possibly be paid to read that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Paid, too?

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, it would be your pleasure.

[Sean Patton]

I'm just bummed out because I already have two copies.

[Big J. Okerson]

For Christmas.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For Christmas?

[Big J. Okerson]

It's got a list price of 34.99.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

34.9.

[Big J. Okerson]

Expensive book.

[Rich Voss]

You don't have an audio tape? Because I don't read.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can't read.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you gonna tell this African American quantum mechanics doctor that you're not going to spend $35?

[Big J. Okerson]

The African American?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, my God.

I was not expecting that.

[Dave Temple]

I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We all thought Asian.

[Big J. Okerson]

Let me not. I just thought myself. That was progress. There you go.

[Dave Temple]

We're doing it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Progress.

[Dave Temple]

Not even February.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think everybody who gets it is gonna get it. If not, you'll pick it up as we go on. Besides that, are we ready for war?

I said, are we ready for war?

We should play this song. One.

Alex, with no further ado. Story number one.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number one.

I was in a hotel room one night when the guests next door became very loud. I turned my TV volume all the way up and they responded by calling the cops.

[Big J. Okerson]

Whatever it is, I'm on their side.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, you're on whose side?

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm on the side of the people who call the cops on whoever story. This is.

[Sean Patton]

Because the TV was loud?

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, because.

[Dave Temple]

Because it's Louis.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I do think it's Louis, But I'm also trying to think of, like, what were they. It's vague. It's vague to say the next door. The guests became very loud. If it's. I'm trying to think of who complains if that's a couple fucking, like, who's that nerd?

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I don't think it's a couple.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who complains about that. Well, what was it, your story?

[Big J. Okerson]

I think they would have given more context. Yeah, I'm assuming it was black people having fun.

[Rich Voss]

I would.

[Dave Temple]

Well, you know, I'm not turning my TV up for that. You know, I'm joining.

[Rich Voss]

Imagine one if the cops came.

And here's the thing. If you could hear the TV next door, it's a shitty motel. It's not a good hotel. You know what I'm saying? The hotels I stay at, well, I have the whole floor.

I. I have to think this is.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich is the Persona of Ric flair in the 70s.

Styling and profiling.

[Sean Patton]

I think also, they didn't. There was no complaints and cash and checks.

It was. It was like a. It was like a. Like a You. I'm just gonna turn the TV loud. How. How loud was the tv?

[Rich Voss]

It was loud.

[Sean Patton]

It was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, I do have to say, nice, buddy.

[Big J. Okerson]

He's so senile that I think he's not even acting right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He might be acting. It'll be a good move because Rich is very quick. But I will say I thought it was Rich anyway, because I'm trying to think Rich is the only person on this thing that would. This is a Karen move.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, I've been known to be a Karen. Here's what I've learned. Rich, this is a beautiful move. If people are being loud next door to you, everyone use this. What you can do is you can just call their room and pretend to be the front desk.

So you could just be like, hey, listen, the cops are gonna come. You guys gotta really. You don't have to even go through the front desk. You say whatever you want to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hear you through the door, motherfucker.

[Big J. Okerson]

You could threaten them.

[Rich Voss]

You know that? Because you used to work a front desk.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I'm not. No. I'm just. I've stayed in enough hotels and been enough of a Karen.

[Dave Temple]

Well, you know, it's not me, because if the cops would have came, I would have been dead.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So.

I've never been a hotel Karen. My deal. I always figure I take as good as I give. Like, it's. I've probably been annoying in hotel rooms.

[Big J. Okerson]

You've never been loud in a hotel room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not true.

[Sean Patton]

I mean, it depends. I just. How loud. I'm curious as to what.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I played music pretty late, but, I mean, I'm not crazy loud, but loud enough that it's. I've gotten, like, a call before to be like, hey, you have?

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was not like, you're gonna get.

[Big J. Okerson]

Kicked out me, I was like, this is the front desk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Your music's too loud not to get, like. Like to get kicked out. Just, like, saying, like, there's a complaint of noise.

[Sean Patton]

So I go into full black hole mode in the hotel.

[Big J. Okerson]

I just.

[Sean Patton]

I disappeared from reality for 36 hours.

[Rich Voss]

I can't hear anything.

[Sean Patton]

Sleep for 15 hours. I sleep like a goddamn angel in Hotels. Like a dead angel.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, yeah, I fucking. I fall right out. I sit on my phone and, you know, fall asleep playing like scrap Rich.

[Big J. Okerson]

This happens if you're on a bus, if you're at dinner.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In a green room with glasses on.

[Rich Voss]

The end of your nose.

Playing sudoku.

[Sean Patton]

Reading the scrolls.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich always falls out.

[Sean Patton]

I mean, look at Torah in original Hebrew.

[Big J. Okerson]

This isn't older Jewish guy response to people being allowed next door to them in a hotel room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I agree.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich also has been a road dog for a long time. So, you know, these are some shitty ass fucking old school motels. Or last weekend and Uncle Vinny's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or it's Louis or it's me.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, because Louis is trying hard to sell Voss right now.

[Rich Voss]

Yep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a real speech he gave.

[Dave Temple]

Like a wrap it up, summarize, make me look bad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So in closing, everybody, just so we're all understand.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm pretty sure you wrote Rich's full.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Name, Rich Boss.

Which means he's thinking too much. Shit.

[Rich Voss]

I don't think it's. I don't think it's Jay. Because you're doing so much, you don't care what goes on anywhere.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I would. I would just deal with this. Yeah, right.

[Rich Voss]

I don't. Sean, you know, no way. Dave doesn't really get to go on the road.

I'm gonna have to go with Lewis on this one. But I don't see Lewis as a snitch. I don't.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, no, I would. I would snitch. I would snitch for sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't matter. There's no snitching.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, there's no snitching here. This person was being snitched on.

[Rich Voss]

Well, if somebody's calling the front desk going, they're loud.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, he didn't. Lewis or you turn the volume way up. Rich might be playing the game high level.

[Big J. Okerson]

I have no idea. High level now. I don't think it's Rich. I thought it was Rich for a minute, but he's convincing everyone that it's not him by playing dumb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Louis already voted for you, which he knows might be a bullshit vote because it's him. And now he's playing like the fuck I wish I would have.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, Jay, it's not always me, you idiot.

[Sean Patton]

I'm giving Rich more credit here. I think he. I think he's swindling us all, making him now think that it's not him. It's definitely him. That was good.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it's definitely between Rich and Louis and I don't think Rich can hear that.

[Rich Voss]

Well.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but he's been on the road.

[Dave Temple]

He's complaining about a TV in the other room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's been on the road since 1962.

[Dave Temple]

But then he was on crack and he sleeps through. Anything on that?

[Rich Voss]

You know, I used to open for Moses. First of all.

That'S how you spell Lewis. Isn't there an O?

[Big J. Okerson]

No.

[Sean Patton]

Isn't there an O?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean. No. Yes. Yes, there is an O. In the normal way of spelling. Yes.

[Rich Voss]

I thought so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The normal way.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is a Latino way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not the Latino way. This is the aggress, massive re. Pronouncing of something. Of a self hating Hispanic who wants to be white. His name is Luis. For sure. For sure.

[Big J. Okerson]

You just made the audience sad. I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Holy shit. That was almost a documentary.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Luis Jay Gomez.

[Rich Voss]

What's that?

[Big J. Okerson]

What are we thinking here?

[Rich Voss]

Why do I gotta go? Oh, it's be.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, Temple, you can go next. It's fine.

[Dave Temple]

I'm gonna go. But I think it was on YouTube and I noticed this. It was the way Sean just kind of breezed over.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Could be Sean.

[Dave Temple]

I just sleep. I go in the room and I just zonk out for 15 hours. You know what I mean? He just kind of totally threw the blank shade on him. And I know you get a point for tricking everybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that was good. You know what? It was subtle. You may have noticed a subtle thing.

[Dave Temple]

He's doing a look around. He's half a bottle of water in like. Yeah, I'm a little nervous.

[Sean Patton]

I am hydrated. I get wild when I get hydrated. I get, I guess, brave.

[Rich Voss]

It's Dave. You're saying so much about him. Trying to take the focus off of you.

[Dave Temple]

I told you, he's doing all that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just for you, Rich. He's doing all of that just to fool you.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah, he would have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He would have everybody else fooled.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, we all got trust issues.

[Big J. Okerson]

You're seeing them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Dave Temple]

Absolutely. But I. I got. Yeah, I'm calling Sean.

[Big J. Okerson]

Sean.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a.

[Sean Patton]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

Sean, your beard is looking crisp, my friend.

[Sean Patton]

Thank you, brother.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's like. You're like a picture in a barber shop.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

What if I vote for myself and get it wrong?

[Big J. Okerson]

You can't vote for yourself, Rich. You know this. You've been on the show seven times.

[Rich Voss]

I don't remember.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've been doing the show since 1984 when it was first. When it was first hosted by Burt Convey.

[Rich Voss]

Wink Martindale.

[Big J. Okerson]

Did nobody else Vote for Rich. Oh, we did all right, Alex. All of our answers are in story number one.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Belongs to Sean Pat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is good.

[Big J. Okerson]

Stop being so confused.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, that was good, Temple. Yeah, man, that was good. Away. I called that way late in the game. He goes. He just really threw it away quick, like, this couldn't be me because I'm unconscious the entire time.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

Do I. Do I get to explain?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you tell the story.

[Sean Patton]

So basically, it was a. It was in Indianapolis. It was a W, by the way. It was not a shit hotel. Quite a fair price spot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a lovely place.

[Big J. Okerson]

He was sleeping in a woman's room, Right?

[Rich Voss]

Right.

[Sean Patton]

No, it was, but it was.

I don't get it.

[Big J. Okerson]

The W, Nice.

[Sean Patton]

Sometimes it's right there. Sometimes it's right there. And it was one of the rooms where the door you shared. The. You had a door that shared another door with another room, which I hate. But, yes, the couple next door was.

And it was not just like normal. It was loud, like, obnoxious, like.

And then I opened my door.

[Rich Voss]

So you could come.

You know?

[Sean Patton]

No, by that point, I'd already come, but I just. I just wanted to justify coming in the first place. And it was. And it was very loud. And I had thought that by opening my door, it would make enough of a squeaker sound to make them self conscious, but it didn't do that at all. So then, yes, I. I turned the. The volume just insanely loud. And then I get a knock.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This guy's distracting me while I'm fucking the shit out of this chick.

[Sean Patton]

Well, I get a knock on the door. On that. On the fucking door, the inside door. I'm like, oh, wow, okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

They have nerve.

[Sean Patton]

Then I didn't. Then I then shut mine. Okay. That also shut it after I opened it. And then I get a knock. I'm like, oh, fuck. So I open, and I open it again, and it's her, and she's completely nude. And then she freaks out and slams the door. Okay, all right. And I close my door.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who are you supposed to be?

[Sean Patton]

Exactly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then she was like, oh, the Lord Christ, take me.

[Sean Patton]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Take me to heaven. Oh, that's just some guy with a great beard.

[Big J. Okerson]

Exactly.

[Sean Patton]

And then. Then there's a second knock, moments later, and I open it, and it's the guy, and he's got a full erection and he's fully naked. And he goes, you are not supposed to be in this room. You are not. And then he shuts the door, Right? I'm like, what?

[Big J. Okerson]

The.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is the in between doors.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah. So I like, yo, that's like staying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In a haunted room. If you stay in the room the rest of the night, it's, like, tainted.

[Sean Patton]

And I lock the door, kind of turn the volume to a normal level, and I don't hear anything for a while. And I eventually just go back to sleep. And then I'm woken up by cops knocking on my door with the hotel people.

[Big J. Okerson]

You open the door, and they were completely naked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, these people think you want to party, man. You are not taking the hit.

[Sean Patton]

Exactly, man. No party police.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Sean Patton]

It was two cops and two members of the staff. And basically the couple had checked out and said that I had threatened them with a gun, so they had to come into my room and search it for a weapon.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Sean Patton]

Because I was like, I do not have. I do not have a gun. And I sat on the bed while the two cops just went through all.

[Big J. Okerson]

My shit with a rock. Hardbound or.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, you could check right here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Questions? I wish was the chick. Did the guy have a huge dick?

[Sean Patton]

The guy did have a really huge dick. That's the thing I remember more because it's just not. It's very. It's not that often where you're just like, hey, it's just looking. It's just. Guy wasn't much taller than me, but the dick was just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, and hard. Because he was just right. Right at me.

[Big J. Okerson]

Just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, that's great to yell at someone with a hard dick to be in a ultimate. You're still. You're still at the hard dick.

[Big J. Okerson]

And you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, I'm gonna finish, but I'll deal with you later.

[Big J. Okerson]

You have to listen to thousands of hours of the Joe Rogan podcast to have that sort of focus.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's like black. They has dark web on it.

[Sean Patton]

It was insane. I'm just wondering. I still want to know who I was supposed to be or who was supposed to be in that room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're not supposed to be.

[Sean Patton]

They both seem to react like I was supposed to be someone else and I was part of some like, oh, we're gonna start when you're ready to come in. Turn the volume up really loud.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wonder what you could have once. I wonder what you could have been wearing that they would have thought you were the right person. Like a Karate Kid ghee or like a full Snuggie or something. Oh, perfect.

[Sean Patton]

Dress like Peyton Manning. It was Indianapolis.

[Rich Voss]

To see one that hard. Not coming through a hole is so strange.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, did she Have a bush.

[Rich Voss]

You got it. Come on. Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

No, I was laughing because I heard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Someone go, what.

A glory hustle.

[Sean Patton]

Glory Hole, stupid. The name of Rich Foss's next special.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, Glory hole, stupid.

[Sean Patton]

No, I mean, she was. She was attractive, but I. I'm more in the memory of the. Just the dick. I've never been looked at by a penis before. She was looking at me.

[Big J. Okerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was crazy, right?

[Sean Patton]

It was pretty. It was. You look forlorn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You look. Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

Wistful.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. Jay. Jay wishes that was his story, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Tactile veins like above skin.

[Sean Patton]

Big head cut uncut, like a wider head cut.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex, can you give us our points after round one?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, it's crazy.

That was the first story. The show's been on for 40 minutes.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

On the scoreboard. In second place, with two points, Dave Temple.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

And in the lead with three points, Sean Patton.

[Rich Voss]

Two people voted for me. Don't I get points?

I tricked two people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, let's take a quick second and thank one of our sponsors over here at Story Wars. And that is in the cloud for a good clean high every time. Get into Cloud.

[Big J. Okerson]

An online Cannabis dispensary with 70 ounces. That's all I gotta hear. That's all I gotta hear. Gummies that taste like candy flower pre rolls and everything else that you need is straight up at end of cloud. Really high quality premium. Look, I'm. I gotta stop smoking weed soon, but until that day happens, I'm smoking into Cloud because they're great. Dude, this is all I've been smoking lately.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude, you got 140 bucks. You're gonna be smoked up for the rest of your life.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you're 21 or older, you should visit in the Cloud Co and check out what they got going on over there. And if you use the code wars at checkout, you're going to get 25% off your first order, plus free shipping. How cool is that? Their THC products are federally legal, DEA certified and lab tested. So you really are getting the good stuff. It's indecloud. Co I n d a c l o u d dot co in the cloud code wars for 25 off and free shipping. It is a going to be a nice, calmer holiday. Guaranteed Code wars.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment to thank HIMS for supporting the show. HIMS gives you access to straightforward ED support that's designed around you. You get personalized prescription treatment options for ED and they offer trusted generics across 95% less than the brand names they have in house. Products like the Hard Bent or the sex RX plus climax control. With 100% online access to treatment plans, HIMS brings the care right to you. You set up with a doctor right online, they give you your prescription and they mail you it in discrete packaging. It's really, really. And it really works. Look, we've been using, we've been talking about dick pills and all these various things for a long time. It genuinely works. Whether you have ED or you just need a little bit of extra help in the bedroom. Unless you've been with the same chick for two, three years. You know what I'm talking about? Probably need a little extra. You need a little bit of push over the hill, as they say. Well, hims, they're gonna make your dick rock hard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, your limp dick, your bald head, your fat body are a thing of the past.

[Big J. Okerson]

About me specifically.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, man, I'm just sitting there offering your floppy dick, bald headed fat body, shitty mustach.

[Big J. Okerson]

Wait a minute, hold on. Is this directly at me?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, whether it is or it isn't, hims could help.

[Big J. Okerson]

Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hims.com wars to get your free online visit. The actual price will vary on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription is required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Hymns.com wars get your free visit now.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, guys, Christmas is upon us or Hanukkah. J so you have to stop looking for the perfect gift and check out aura frames. They have digital frames that is a perfect gift for that loved one in your life. I think they kind of like market this for like older people, like moms and grandmas, but this is truly for anybody. Loaded with pictures from your phone. When's the last time you printed out pictures? I have family members that do this. They'll print out pictures and put them in frame. That's cool as well. But this is great because you have a beautiful, high quality frame that you could load hundreds of photos in. You could scroll through them. If there's somebody in your life that doesn't have a smartphone, this a great gift. You could preload it with all the family's vacation photos and they can display it right on their mantle.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or you can also, you can upload your photos to the aura from wherever you're at. So like, theoretically, like if you knew my mom's aura account.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, and I do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You could just send pictures of like, you Doing God knows what.

[Big J. Okerson]

My butthole.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your butthole is full spread. But I think we just come up. It'll be like her grandchildren and then randomly a picture of your butthole or wiener. I think that it will work like that.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is a hilarious use for the Aura Frame. Unlimited photos and unlimited videos. You could even pre rollo the photos and have the gift ready in the box for a limited time. You can save on the perfect highlighter gift by visiting auraframes.com that's a U R A frames.com and get 35 off. Or as best selling Carver matte frame. And it was named number one by wire cutter, which is everyone knows my favorite magazine about tech and cool things.

You know, I love it. Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, what's the Louis where? Why is Lewis late? Oh, he's probably buried in another issue of Wire Cutter.

[Big J. Okerson]

Use the promo code wars Wa arz at checkout. That's Warz at checkout for a 35 off on what? On Or's best selling frame. Auraframes.com promo code wars with a Z. All right, where were we? Alex? Story number two.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Oh, story number two.

When I was broke, I robbed a hotel because nobody was behind the desk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This feels like Rich or Louis again. Yeah, I never realized how much your junkie and Lewis's regular old Hispanic pasts are the same.

[Big J. Okerson]

Also, here's the thing though. Dave Temple used to be a biker. He used to be into organized crime. This was like a. His fucking actual past.

[Sean Patton]

And this is a nice way to be like, hey, are you just saying this because I'm black?

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't know.

[Sean Patton]

Nice, like throw you off the scent.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't know if any of that's true, but I just assume it also.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It also is a crime. And at the same time, like a pleasant night, not terrifying crime. This is like. Well, nobody was there, so I took some stuff.

[Dave Temple]

Right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So it still gets you street hood cred, but it's also still the very sweet person that you are. This is Dave Temple.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay.

[Dave Temple]

You see the crazy thing about both Lewis and Jay would blame this crime on a black guy if they got caught.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can't argue with that.

[Rich Voss]

You're always. You guys can't always blame the race on it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. If it said. If it said I robbed a hotel and then shot three of my cousins outside of it and smoked a blunt in a stoop while braiding my cousins.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everybody was pregnant.

[Dave Temple]

Right. If I'd have got away in a Nissan Altima.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, yes.

[Big J. Okerson]

There's nothing to do with race. This is with personality. And I know that you used to lead a little bit of a checkered life, Wife.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

You are.

[Sean Patton]

If it said, then I rode away on my horse, like, that's rich. Only one around.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

Then I robbed a Wells Fargo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The original one. The one in the logo with the wagon train.

[Dave Temple]

I'm trying to think, though.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't.

[Dave Temple]

Did I rob a hotel?

[Sean Patton]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not falling for that shit.

I believe.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. I mean, Rich also has a checkered pass as well.

[Rich Voss]

But here's the thing.

[Big J. Okerson]

He's also got a checkers pass. He's never played chess, but he can play checkers.

[Rich Voss]

Look, here's the thing. And I don't. I got 40 years sober. I don't rob people or hotels. I would have stole.

[Big J. Okerson]

This could be like.

[Rich Voss]

I would have stole your drugs back in the day. Yeah, I would have stole.

[Big J. Okerson]

You wouldn't take money out of a register if there was nobody there. There was a register open back in the day.

[Rich Voss]

Let me tell you something.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'll do that today.

[Rich Voss]

I'm gonna. No, no. Let me tell you one thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Would you have sucked Louis's dick if he had drugs?

[Rich Voss]

No. Puerto Rico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Here's the thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now we're back to race.

[Rich Voss]

For me in life. And this is for real. I believe in karma. I've always believed in karma. You know, my wife doesn't, but she's, you know, a c.

Well, whatever. Vote for whoever you want.

You know, that's.

[Big J. Okerson]

If Rich Voss was the president, that would be his final speech.

[Dave Temple]

That's speech just made me realize rich is too dumb to rob anybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Louis.

[Big J. Okerson]

That was a speech with no point.

He just gave up at the end and said, vote for who you want.

I'm getting Dave Temple vibes on this one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Me, too.

[Big J. Okerson]

Could be Rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It could be Louis. He's a deplorable piece of shit.

[Big J. Okerson]

Come on, bro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I don't think this is Lewis.

[Dave Temple]

Sean, who you going with?

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm.

[Sean Patton]

I'm just doing this to throw. To throw some sparks into the thing. I'm thinking of Jake.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. You know, that's fine. It's not. But I will tell you, I mean, Dave just made you look like a sucker. The way he got up in your face, he goes, who you vote for over there? And you voted for me. And he was like, yeah, yeah, you can do the same thing.

[Big J. Okerson]

The rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now watch. He'll do it. Oh, yeah, Dave.

[Dave Temple]

That's what we do. We try to sway how everybody votes. Don't Vote for that motherfucker.

[Big J. Okerson]

A vote for Dave. I think that's it right there. It's not Jay. Jay's not. Jay's not that type of criminal. He'll do drugs.

[Sean Patton]

We've been broke before.

[Big J. Okerson]

He'll sexually assault.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've been plenty broke before, but. Yeah. No, I was never. I. I'm. This would make me, like, I'd freak out that I'm going to get caught the whole time. I was too. On something like this. This is too big. This is too big a score. Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

If I'm right, this is going to be fucking awesome.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. Nah, I. I stick with what I was saying. It's between Lewis and Rich. And it could be Louis. Louis just has. Has the ambition to pull it off. You know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He does. He does have the ambition.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. And that's a compliment. I mean that in the.

[Big J. Okerson]

In the. Stop voting for yourself.

[Rich Voss]

Louis. See?

[Sean Patton]

Okay, here we go.

[Dave Temple]

There you go.

[Big J. Okerson]

And he spelled it wrong. You sucker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm full disrespect.

[Big J. Okerson]

You've won the game before.

[Rich Voss]

I. I don't remember it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex. All of our answers are in.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number two belongs to Rich Voss.

[Dave Temple]

Get the out of here.

Get the out of here.

[Sean Patton]

I was just trying to throw some. Some sprinkles on the cake.

[Rich Voss]

It's an easy one. We were, I guess, 17. We hitchhiked down the seaside, me and Dave Bowles.

[Big J. Okerson]

19. 17.

[Rich Voss]

Yes. And you're no spring chicken, pal. Anyhow, we.

We had no money. We were, you know, just staying in whatever hotel people would let us stay in. And we're broke. We went to a restaurant, ate, ran out without paying, Right. And we were ready to hitchhike back home. And I go. We looked in the hotel in the.

[Big J. Okerson]

Big one, the plot of Tom Sawyer.

[Rich Voss]

And there was nobody behind.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys were a couple of rascals.

[Rich Voss]

Nobody behind.

[Dave Temple]

You find out. You actually read the books, you guys.

[Rich Voss]

So we went in, pop 25 bucks and 25 bucks back then got us.

[Big J. Okerson]

Another day, get a mortgage.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys hopped in your Radio Flyer wagons.

[Big J. Okerson]

They got away on that. Whatever that thing is. On the train tracks where they both.

Pump. Train pumper.

[Rich Voss]

There was a danzel in destruction dress tied to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Back when Rich was a. Was a train hobo.

[Big J. Okerson]

He had.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's a box car. Oh. Back when Rich was a box car. Willie.

[Big J. Okerson]

He had bags with money signs on.

[Rich Voss]

Them on the stick.

[Sean Patton]

Stashed it in my hanky title.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Singing public domain songs. She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right.

[Rich Voss]

Two.

[Big J. Okerson]

Two stories Down. Alex, where our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

All right. In third place with two points, Dave Temple.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In second place with three points, Sean Patton.

And in the lead with four points, Rich Voss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, we should take away two points for him voting for himself. Oh, that makes me angry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know. By the way, I tell you something.

[Rich Voss]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis is furious with you on Inside.

[Big J. Okerson]

Why not vote for yourself?

[Rich Voss]

I was just around.

[Big J. Okerson]

I do. It's a serious game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He gives you a full speech. He gives you a full speech before the show.

[Big J. Okerson]

Don't vote for yourself.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, you did?

[Big J. Okerson]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, okay, here's the thing. All the votes were in, so it didn't matter if I was first, I wouldn't have done it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it kills the what Suspense with the audience.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

They don't give a you 10. You take away.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's exclusively what they give a about.

[Big J. Okerson]

They really care. Trust me.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, I'm sorry.

[Big J. Okerson]

Look at this guy. His arms are folded again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, great. Now this guy's all folded up again. Origami arms over here. We're trying to make this guy happy. Oh, thank God. We've got 75 more stories.

[Sean Patton]

I think it's encouraging that Rich is willing to do whatever it takes to read up on an African American astrophysicist.

[Big J. Okerson]

You know what I mean?

[Sean Patton]

That's progress. That is progress.

[Rich Voss]

Thank you. You know, thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the Rich I was promised on HBO's Death Comedy Jam.

[Rich Voss]

You know what? I'm gonna make it, do a ten step, make amends. I'm sorry. It won't happen again.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's okay. Thanks, Rich.

[Rich Voss]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

Love you, buddy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was big.

[Rich Voss]

Now go home and get your shine box.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get your shine box.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex. Story number. Story number three.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number three.

I brought a girl to a motel and she blew me.

I saw a bug on the wall and used it as an excuse to leave immediately after she finished.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is rich. Rich again.

I know there was already a rich one, but this is. I think this is two riches in a row. Who is else is this?

[Sean Patton]

I don't know that. This is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sean, were you ever a problem drug addict, alcoholic ever?

[Sean Patton]

I mean, probably.

[Big J. Okerson]

How's this. How's this a problem drug addict, alcoholic, motel blowjob?

[Sean Patton]

This is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this says.

[Sean Patton]

This is.

[Dave Temple]

This is about hotels.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is a. This is a scuzz night.

[Sean Patton]

This is indisputably Louis J. Gomez.

[Dave Temple]

I love it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Who hasn't had a night where you're bringing to a hotel room to blow you here?

Place that has bugs, obviously.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what? You're right. I'M writing Lewis. I'm not putting it in. Yeah, you know, prove me wrong.

[Dave Temple]

I mean, he tried to defend it. He tried to defend the behavior.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm saying this is not a drug addict behavior. This is a sex addict behavior. Okay. And I think most people that are comics are sex addicts. Yes. Including me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you keep yelling at the world you're a sex addict, which I think you're just. Just dog whistling to get.

I'm a sex addict. I don't know. And I have so much. I must be really good at it. And I love eating. That must be my thing. I guess. I don't know. I got to stop. I. I should get help.

[Dave Temple]

And it's code for us.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Any girls that want to help a eating addict.

You could change you. I could change with your love.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm just addicted to being so awesome and getting tons of. I'm addicted to being rad. I'm addicted to crushing pussy. What do you want me to say?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it makes me sick.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's a blessing and a curse.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've chosen over my family.

[Dave Temple]

It's also code for I was off drugs when this story happened. I was sober.

[Sean Patton]

The orgasms on these hands, which I don't even need to use when I eat pussy. I'm so good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm so fantastic.

[Big J. Okerson]

Eating it's not.

Why have you forsaken me, God, with this addiction to eating pussy? Really awesome.

[Dave Temple]

With this remarkable tongue?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why does the pleasure of the woman I'm with matter so much to me?

Why do I care so much?

[Sean Patton]

Why did she want to go down on me first and rob me of.

[Big J. Okerson]

This God given tribe?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lay back and allow me worship.

[Dave Temple]

Ah, shit. Another eye infection from squirt.

[Sean Patton]

Pink eye is my burden.

My cross to bear.

[Big J. Okerson]

Temple. Temple you. Once again, you have a checkered past.

[Dave Temple]

We're. We're liking that.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

You think I was getting a blowjob in a motel?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe motel you were holiday in. Say what?

[Big J. Okerson]

You were in a bike gang. That's biking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stop calling it a bike gang.

[Dave Temple]

It's a bike.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was bikers.

[Big J. Okerson]

It was a black bike. Like, you know, bikers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fucking huffpies, dude.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, but hold on. You know the, the bikers with like, like leather jackets? Like Sons of Anarchy. Yeah, but they're black. Imagine that shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, no. Are they black? But they're not on. But they're not on these motorcycles. They're on these.

[Rich Voss]

I'm crotch rocking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Black biker kegs are pretty hilarious. I'm sure they're tw something scary. But in the scheme of bikers in Brooklyn. That's how you're worried about now they're on dirt bikes. I like that they stop and they all go asses up.

[Dave Temple]

I like how Lewis pitched it like it was a scary movie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But they're black. They are black though.

[Big J. Okerson]

It was like. It was like at the end of Time to Kill. Now imagine they're black.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look, once you stop laughing at their hilarious little outfits and motorcycles, they're still black.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, that is true.

[Rich Voss]

See, I. I think Jay came out really real quick and goes, it's me. But look, you get a lot of on the road. So do you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

It's between one of you two.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's possible, Lewis. I just don't.

[Sean Patton]

I'm inclined to take offense at that, Rich. But I'm a what? I'm a more secure human being.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Sean alone.

[Rich Voss]

No, he complains a lot. On the road with other people getting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're all pretty much decades in the comedy. Everybody one's been blown on the road once.

[Big J. Okerson]

Loud. Next door in a motel with a bug on the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In a motel. Yes. All these things we.

[Big J. Okerson]

These are. This is not that unique of a story. Ultimately.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Lewis. This is Lewis.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, I don't think it's Jay because I mean Jay did have a time when he was a real deal.

Hound.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. But I felt like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I just. I don't even know.

[Big J. Okerson]

No go bring a girl to a motel.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never gotten a motel in my life.

[Big J. Okerson]

You're supposed to do that. That you're playing a game right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Right. But I'm just saying when it comes up, it's not me. Now you guys all know. Oh, you're just never pay for a motel.

[Dave Temple]

Wait a minute. You were driving hookers for years. That's like what you do motel blow jobs?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no. First of all, maybe that's what you do if you're getting a hooker. If you're driving a hooker to go guys. You don't then say, hey, let's also get a place after. I'd like to. All that come out of your mouth and pussy.

[Dave Temple]

No, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I drove her home. I was a human being.

[Dave Temple]

I just think you're so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I would listen to her sad story about getting her kids back from social services. And I go knock em dead in court, kiddo. And I'd buy em Denny's once in a while. Cause I'm a positive person.

[Rich Voss]

You had a job driving hookers. I didn't know. What a fucking great gig.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think, right? It Was actually terrifying.

[Big J. Okerson]

Why did you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Superstar.

[Big J. Okerson]

They're always late.

Just a goddamn night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a sad world.

[Dave Temple]

I do feel like you're silly enough to think a girl would appreciate the view that you saw at this motel while waiting in the parking lot. So you'd bring her back thinking it's a date.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, sure, if that's good mental gymnastics to get there for sure.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm going with my instincts. I think Dave is trying to push it on you right now. Dave Temple's my answer. He's a scuzz bucket. He's a black biker. That was the name of his black biker game, the Scuzz Buckets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, dude, you guys know best.

[Big J. Okerson]

And that's my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't know there was a black group.

[Rich Voss]

Fucking Lewis has been doing this a while. He's good at this.

[Big J. Okerson]

I am.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I agree.

[Rich Voss]

And go with Dave.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, you fools. Oh. Everyone's voting for me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm voting for you.

[Sean Patton]

Be it a motel or the Acropolis itself. I will. I will slobber on thy loins.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis, like he said, was a sex. Is sex addict. You never beat the addiction.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'll always be in recovery.

[Sean Patton]

But you are terrified of bugs. I've seen this before.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but Lewis was a. A street team, like selling tickets and just was. Would a chick off the street that was like, hey, I'm in from Connecticut and I. My parents don't pay attention.

[Big J. Okerson]

Right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then I.

[Big J. Okerson]

Then I would find a motel in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

New York City, in midtown.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where you told me you've gone to the motel.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The skyline motel on 10th Ave. Those ones on 10th Avenue. You've pointed out to me that you've gone there to before.

[Big J. Okerson]

Never even heard of a motel.

[Rich Voss]

It's still there.

[Dave Temple]

All right.

[Big J. Okerson]

Is it in like the twenties?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it's in the forties perhaps.

[Dave Temple]

Maybe somewhere around there, mom and dad are arguing. You want to go make popcorn? I think that it's definitely over here. It's definitely one of you two. I don't know why you broke the eye contact, Lewis. That was weird.

[Big J. Okerson]

If it's Dave, why would he be taking this long? Fuck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shit. That would be nonsense.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

This guy doesn't want to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Home.

[Dave Temple]

But I think I gotta stay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Loosen up his grip, though.

[Dave Temple]

He's having a good time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's invested.

[Big J. Okerson]

He did it.

[Dave Temple]

Are we allowed to ask the audience what they think?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Of course.

[Dave Temple]

All right. Since you're opened up out of these two, who do you think it is?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah, this one. And I feel like he would have watched the show in lotus position if he could.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wasting your vote.

[Dave Temple]

I'm wasting my vote. You've never done that, Jay.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right. Damn.

[Sean Patton]

All right.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, all of our answers are in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex if it's you. That was just the point I watched you get.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Wow. Everybody, story number three belongs to Voss again.

[Rich Voss]

Rich V. You said it.

[Big J. Okerson]

You said it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The first, very first thing I said.

[Big J. Okerson]

You.

[Rich Voss]

You were too quick. You were too quick.

[Big J. Okerson]

You know how much energy it took for Rich Boss to not write me.

[Dave Temple]

On his board again?

[Rich Voss]

I. You know what I was at? I was at the Goose and Gander, and I picked up this.

[Big J. Okerson]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The Goose was a bar.

[Rich Voss]

It was a bar on Route 22 back in my day. And then I took this girl, we went to a hotel, and right away she blew me. And I shot a load. I go. I saw a roach. I go, we got to get out of here.

[Sean Patton]

But that's.

[Rich Voss]

And then I. You know, I was thinking, maybe I can go back into the office and get half the money back, because we were only in there for, like, 10 minutes. But I blew it off and just left.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you hopped up on your penny farthing bike.

[Rich Voss]

After you bust a nut with some girl, you're like. You know what I mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're too old to. You're too old to say bust a nut anymore.

[Rich Voss]

After.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just say calm. Just say came.

[Rich Voss]

After I shoot dust.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

After I come nutted up all in her with anything. I'm 70.

[Rich Voss]

Like, back in it. Yeah. After I come get the. What's wrong with you? Why would you blow me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My Christ.

[Sean Patton]

After I unleash on. I see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a score.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shake up.

[Big J. Okerson]

Jesus Christ.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Al, the scores.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, boy.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

All right, after three stories with zero points each, Louis J. Gomez and Big jr.

In third place, with two points, Dave Temple.

[Sean Patton]

I'm still in second.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In second place with three points, Sean Patton.

And in the lead with eight points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jesus Christ.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Rich Boss.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, man.

Now it came.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe Israel was right. Rich, you are so close to taking home quantum mechanics in everyday life, which reveals how quantum effects power the tools that we use every day. For example, the colors on a TV screen come from electrons jumping between energy levels inside each pixel. And MRI machines use atomic spin to produce clear images of the human body. Each invention connects the mysterious world of particles to the practical tools that define daily life.

That guy's gonna jerk off. That was so hot.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. I have a question.

[Sean Patton]

After I gave her a mouthful of guppies. See?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Richard, a question.

[Rich Voss]

Yes. The double point rule.

I say we put in it when do I put into effect? Now or after the story?

[Big J. Okerson]

It's technically in the second half.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, tell me when. I also.

[Big J. Okerson]

I told you that at the beginning. I didn't know what happened.

[Rich Voss]

Are we in the first half?

[Big J. Okerson]

You know this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you sleep through Lewis's whole speech? He gives a speech.

[Rich Voss]

He didn't say when halftime was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, I'll wait till second half.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, Alex, story number four. You're rooting this game, Rich.

[Rich Voss]

No, I'm not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's dominating it and making us all look like. Like it's a shitty. He's like, this is a shitty game, but I'll beat you all at it really quick. But this game is stupid, bro.

[Dave Temple]

It's like the drugs never left his system.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's pounding us down. He's like, how do you even play this stupid thing? Can I go home? I don't even care. Give somebody else the book. All right, it was me again, you dumb asses.

[Sean Patton]

We're back on. Tough crowd.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Voss submitted 11 stories.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Seraphina, sit down and button your jacket.

[Dave Temple]

Ah, thank you. Thank you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Stop being such a vixen, you child.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God damn it.

[Dave Temple]

That is.

[Big J. Okerson]

Have you ever been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't listen to whatever he said. I could pay for all your death from school.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, can I use that line?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, want me to get rid of your skull bat?

[Big J. Okerson]

Sorry, Alex. Story number four.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number four. I had to be removed from a hotel in Florida by the police. The hotel had been evacuated, and I was squatting. I got caught because I was getting potato chips from a vending machine, and they saw me on security cameras.

[Sean Patton]

I just. Everything's rich now.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

Rich is omnipotent.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

This, like, I. It's so hard to not write.

[Sean Patton]

Can you imagine.

Like. Can you imagine, like, Quantum Leap with just with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

With Rich.

[Big J. Okerson]

Instead of.

[Dave Temple]

I can't picture you guys doing anything now. Like, everything is just rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, first of all, rich, you are a goddamn man of. But I'm telling you, Louis is the only one with balls to just stay at a hotel beyond them saying he could be there.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, you would know this story. If I was ever taken out of a hotel by the police for squatting, you would 100% know it.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, but that's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Rich Voss]

Your heritage.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not.

[Big J. Okerson]

That is such a big story. But there's been a lot of podcasts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every week, there's been 11 stories in the show that involved major violence and the. And government officials, and it's been you, and I've been like, what? And you were like, yeah, I told you this. And I'm like, I guess I just don't listen to things you say.

[Dave Temple]

This is what.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And you know that.

[Dave Temple]

I guess this is what Rich wants to happen. You guys are bickering again. It's Rich.

[Rich Voss]

No, first.

[Big J. Okerson]

If Rich is a third story in the first half of the show, I will quit right now.

[Rich Voss]

So alive. I think it's Rip Van Patten.

[Sean Patton]

This huge.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sean's never been removed from a hotel. You know what, Sean? I gotta be honest.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I haven't seen. I haven't seen. Like, you're still drinking, so I assume you haven't hit some crazy rock, but I'm drinking too. You haven't hit some crazy. Where it's like, been a problem in your life, major rock bottom.

[Sean Patton]

I've not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This seems like a story.

If it's gonna be. You would say it would be involved somebody who's like, super up. Like, I, I. This is not like a sane mind. And the only lunatic here is Lou.

[Big J. Okerson]

First of all, boss is a lunatic. Temple is a lunatic. Squat in a hotel in Florida, you're a fucking lunatic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure. I would not squat in a hotel.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't think you'd squat in a hotel.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would just because you can't actually squats.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, sometimes I book the afternoon flights. They're cheaper.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I'm not talking about squatting for staying for a fucking few hours and hoping they don't find out you're in there yet. I'm talking about this is squatting, which means. Means you were kicking it there for a while.

[Dave Temple]

They kick you out like, like if you're not out by like two, they start getting them aggressive.

[Rich Voss]

Don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no. Here's what happened. Let me take. Tell you something now that most hotels, they say to you right away, housekeeping's if you want it only. So they're not going in to clean the room like that. They're not in a rush if the place isn't sold out. So you could probably get about 2, 3 extra days in a hotel room.

[Dave Temple]

I'd say once that paper comes under the door.

[Big J. Okerson]

Crazy.

[Sean Patton]

We're all over the. Had it been evacuated and I was squatting, I want to. Evacuated, meaning I. Earlier that day, did you. Did you put someone. Did the fire alarm get.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've ignored none of this.

[Sean Patton]

I just try and ask and get it out of you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I haven't ignored any of these things you're saying, Sean. In fact, it's those reasons that I believe. This is Louis J. Gomez, Jay.

[Big J. Okerson]

You believe Every story is Louis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every story could be 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon. Back to Louis J. Gomez. I promise you, I have the ability to do that.

[Rich Voss]

Got to be a story about Dave and he was sticking up for hotel.

[Dave Temple]

No, you just said I don't get to do the road. I haven't been to Florida.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, back in the day when you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Never been to Florida.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You rode when he was in a bike gang.

[Big J. Okerson]

Hold on, hold on. You've never been to Florida?

[Dave Temple]

I've never been to Florida. Lewis, would you like me to book? I. I'll open for you in Florida. When's your next Florida?

[Rich Voss]

Two openers on one.

[Sean Patton]

Wow. Wow, wow.

[Big J. Okerson]

Headshot.

[Sean Patton]

Wow, Dave, that was some verbal Krav Maga right there. Well done, Dave.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you want to open for me inside splitters in Florida? Have you never been to Florida?

[Dave Temple]

Never been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let me tell you something. If this is not you.

You'Re gonna come do side splitters with me in a couple weeks.

[Dave Temple]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you can.

[Dave Temple]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If this.

[Big J. Okerson]

He looks disappointed. He's like, oh, cool, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no. This story just cost me 300 bucks, man. If it's not. If it's not you, absolutely. If. No, if this story is, I'm gonna not vote for you. I don't think this is you. But if it is, and you look me in the eyes and deceived me like this, I will not be able to spend time with you in Florida.

[Rich Voss]

I don't know. I mean, Sean making fun of me for being old, but I just drink a drink.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

And I think you spilled it out of nervousness.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, that just may have spilled out of nervousness.

[Dave Temple]

I know, right?

[Big J. Okerson]

I, I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My gut is telling me this is a Lewis.

[Sean Patton]

This does sound like something I would do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

As a young Louisiana boy.

[Dave Temple]

Dude.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This may have been. This may have been Katrina. Everyone was evacuated.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, that was a young Louisiana boy. Cover yourself out to show my wild notes.

[Big J. Okerson]

Did that happen in Florida, though? Katrina?

[Sean Patton]

No, close.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, this is Florida. Oh, you're right.

[Dave Temple]

You don't know what happened with Katrina Lewis.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I know. Well, he. Well, he said this could be President.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

President Bush, and God does not care about black people.

[Dave Temple]

Words of Kanye.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Kanye said that?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, I'm going. I'm going.

[Dave Temple]

Dave Temple. God damn, Louis. They can't all be me.

[Rich Voss]

I'm going.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One of them has.

[Big J. Okerson]

One of them has to be you.

[Dave Temple]

Why do you have a full name?

[Big J. Okerson]

Because I want God to be with me.

[Dave Temple]

Can you take my last name off, please? Because every other one was because he's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Got kids with different women.

[Rich Voss]

Is that Dave with an E?

[Dave Temple]

I've never been to Florida, guys. You guys are wasting time here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rich, there's an apostrophe after the D.

[Big J. Okerson]

Ever been to Florida? It's crazy.

[Rich Voss]

First of all, how could. How can somebody say they've never been to Florida?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you know, my friend, to ave.

[Sean Patton]

Today.

[Rich Voss]

It could have been Sean.

[Sean Patton]

I got.

[Rich Voss]

I'm going Rich.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich again. That's a crazy.

[Dave Temple]

I'm glad you put it on Rich, because somebody needs to get it on Rich, but I'm putting it on you.

[Sean Patton]

English way of writing that Rich's stories have so far been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is true.

[Sean Patton]

Well, I was at a hotel and I was removed by the police.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hope this let. I hope this message finds you well.

[Dave Temple]

Right. And Sean. Sean just barreled through me voting for him. Lets me know I might have been right on that one.

[Big J. Okerson]

Who'd you say?

[Dave Temple]

Dave Temple. Whoever that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who's that? That guy probably has kids.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex, all of our answers are in.

[Rich Voss]

Is Sean I up?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number four belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Sean Patton]

It was gonna go that way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

This was. I don't even know if I had started doing comedy yet. This is when I was promoting for the New York Comedy Club. And they had a New York comedy club in Boca Raton. Oh, yeah. And Al Martin, that Al Martin sent me down to go see if we could do street team promoting on the streets of Boca Raton.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So it was all, people go to die.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's like old Jewish ladies running away from me. And my guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Guy that was working. That's where old people moved from other parts of Florida to go finish dying.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. And then. Yeah. So then there was a hurricane in Florida. So I was staying at some whatever hotel, like a Holiday. Holiday Inn or whatever. And then they were like, we. We need to evacuate the hotel. And I had nowhere to go. I was like, there's just no. There's nothing for me to do. Al Martin wasn't answering his phone. I needed hit. Like, I had no money. I had no nothing. So I just stayed in my room. They evacuated the whole hotel. It was like crazy winds. It was fucking, like, pool chairs flying everywhere. It was fucking, like, really, like, violent winds. And then I got hungry, and there was no air conditioning on. They shut the power off as well. There was no tv, no air conditioning. It was just in a room. And then I went to the vending machine to get food, and the vending machine was on, and, yeah, I got potato chips and a soda, and they saw Me on security cams, and they came with, like, fucking eight cops. And they. They kicked me out. I couldn't get a cab. I could only find a stretch limo service that picked me up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Only.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. No, I did. I was like 20. 20 years old at the time. I was so broke, I got a stretch limo service that Al Martin paid for that brought me like an hour north to my buddy Renda's place. And I stayed with his family during this hurricane.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Drink sparkling water and watch a television.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. That is the most Puerto Rican story I've ever heard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it is definitely super Puerto Ricany.

[Sean Patton]

All right, I needed them chips.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are our scores? Halftime.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

All right. On the scoreboard, tied for fourth place with two points each. Big J Okerson and Dave Temple.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Wait, would you give him a. I've.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Always identified more with my black friends.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Tied for second place with three points each, Louis J. Gomez and Sean Patton.

[Big J. Okerson]

I thought I had three points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was 73 points points old man Voss.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

And in the lead with eight points, Rich Ball.

[Rich Voss]

Oh.

[Sean Patton]

Begrudgingly.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, at this point, it's the halfway point of the show. So we go around, we do some quick plugs. Voss, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Rich Voss]

I don't fucking know.

My special on Amazon, Rich Voss, Anonymous. On Amazon, Rich Voss, Anonymous. And you could see me monthly on the Gutfeld Show. Show. Big deal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, congrats on 40 years sober this year.

[Rich Voss]

40 years sober in February.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's awesome, man. Congrats. That's awesome.

[Rich Voss]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow, is it? I say it drunk. I'm like, it's beautiful, man. So beautiful.

[Big J. Okerson]

Dave Temple.

[Dave Temple]

Check out my podcast on the network. No need for apologies. Follow me on all social media platforms at Dave Temple.

[Big J. Okerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And Cash. Dave Temple at side splitters. Opening for me, featuring for BJ Okerson in a couple weeks.

[Big J. Okerson]

Sure, Pen.

[Sean Patton]

Oh.

Watch English teacher on fx, streaming on Hulu, Disney plus all that jazz. It's season two's out now. We're excited as. I love it. And Baltimore, November 8 through 10, a bunch of other dates. Check out my website. Me, SeanPatton.com show's killing it.

[Big J. Okerson]

One of the best.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, thanks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The show's doing great.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, it is. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J. BigJay comedy.com for all my dates. Peter North American Tour coming on a city near you. If you get it, you get it.

[Sean Patton]

Peter North.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Peter North American tour coming on a city near you.

Thank you.

[Sean Patton]

Shake your hand on that one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Sean Patton]

Peter North.

[Big J. Okerson]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Peter North American Tour. Dude, he covers everything.

He shot really huge loads. God, I wish the crossed arms guy was here for that.

[Sean Patton]

Is he dead? You're saying shot, like in a past tense?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. Well, I don't know if he's still in the game, but up until a few years ago he still was. But Peter North, I should explain. Peter north was a porn star from the 80s 90s who shot, for some reason, copious amounts of semen. When he would come, I mean, they call. I found out through Adam Carolla, his nickname was the decorator. Funniest shit. Because he would change the complexion of your face cover with load, it was.

[Sean Patton]

Like he was an X man. But like the weakest power.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He did pornography well into his 40s and 50s. Oh yeah. Because he still shot those magical, magical loads. And then because he was a young hero of mine, I decided to name my tour the Peter North American tour. Coming on a city near you. And then the poster is just America almost completely covered in load. That's covering. Yeah, the thing. Yeah.

Because I will be doing most cities in America. I don't like traveling out of the country so much. So, you know, if I can't drive there, be it Tijuana, prostitutes or Canada.

[Dave Temple]

Maple syrup.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, maple syrup.

[Sean Patton]

Also prostitutes. It's legal up there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, in Canada. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Shut up.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, but prostitution is legal.

[Dave Temple]

You know who the next story belongs to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Rich Voss]

But Canada just, you know, no first amendment.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm all over the roads. Look for a senior. You, of course listen to Legion of Skanks right here on the Gas Digital Network and in bonfire five days a week, faction talk, SiriusXM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly and them. They. My double special is coming out as a double vinyl which is available on bigj comedy.com double vinyl. A bunch of exclusive stuff. Go to my website and pre order now before they sell out.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right. Come see me on the road. Lewis of skanks.com My new special that I just filmed is going to be debuting Sunday, November 2nd at 2pm guys. So check that out on YouTube. Oh yeah, it's called Louis J. Gomez. You're making this worse. So go click that and give a copy comment and all that other. And check out Story wars live on the road. November 11th. We're going to be at the Gramercy Theater here in New York City the night before Thanksgiving. We have two shows in Philadelphia. Great shows planned for Philly as well. So look out for us on the road. Go to my website, LewisOfSkangs.com Sign up for mailing list Check out both my other podcasts, Legion of Skanks and the Regs. And if you love the show, you know, you should know that we do an uncensored and ad free version of the show only available for subscribers to the Gas Digital Network. There's about 60 episodes that aren't available for anyone else in the entire world. World. So get them@gas digital.com ad free uncensored pre release on all the episodes. Use the promo code war. Save a couple bucks a month and support the show that you love.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. Now we have four more stories to go.

[Dave Temple]

Jesus.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it does not look like we are doing. I'm not doing great, but. And Rich, it seems like you're almost out of reach, but I promise you, you know, from playing this game, anything could happen. Anything can absolutely happen. Because the final four stories, of course we go double points.

[Big J. Okerson]

So Rich does this.

[Rich Voss]

I don't.

So it's automatic double. I don't call double points.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, no. So now it's the second half of the show, it's double points.

[Rich Voss]

I get to shit.

[Big J. Okerson]

Now you got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now it's pretty simple. Before, if you fooled somebody, you got one point. If you guessed the right person, you got two points. Sir.

That now jumps to double point.

Woo.

[Big J. Okerson]

You get it?

[Rich Voss]

Okay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everyone gets it. This is anybody's game. Rich, you are in trouble, dog.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, buddy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I say we jump into it. Alex.

I don't mind that.

[Big J. Okerson]

I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Story number five.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number five. I once found a bed bug in my hotel room. The girl I was with made me capture it and sent me downstairs to demand justice.

I stood in the lobby for a few minutes pretending to talk to someone and told the girl. They said they'd have someone contact us.

[Sean Patton]

Capture and demand justice.

[Big J. Okerson]

I am so.

[Rich Voss]

I can.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm so connected with this story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is something I. Yeah, this feels like me. But as I know, no, it's not me. I want to say this is Sean.

[Sean Patton]

I'm not. No.

[Dave Temple]

That was a weird laugh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Say I'm too Lewis might actually go demand justice.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean Patton]

I would stand in the lobby.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe I would too. But I definitely can see myself going down the lobby and being like, they said the. That we're not paying. They said, I'm not paying for this.

[Big J. Okerson]

Me and Kim Con. We. We were having sex. Sex and a red roof in. And then she felt something like on her back. She like scratched it. There was a bedbug just eating her as I was having sex with her. And then, yeah, we demanded justice because we looked under the ma. There was like three bedbugs. So we, like, freaked out. We threw out all of our luggage. We had a. It was a whole. It was a whole thing. And yeah, we demanded justice from this red ruffin, and we never got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They never gave you justice?

[Sean Patton]

Did you give her justice with that Latina tongue?

[Big J. Okerson]

You know I did.

[Sean Patton]

With that kind of lingual excellence?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm trying to think.

[Sean Patton]

I feel we're talking about Kim like this.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was bragging on this. I'm writing Sean. This.

[Sean Patton]

I, I. This does feel like me, but I'm going. I, I have my suspicions.

[Big J. Okerson]

One of these stories has to be Dave Temple.

[Sean Patton]

I think it's Dave. I think this is Dave.

[Big J. Okerson]

Can I tell you why I think it's Dave? You're dealing with a black woman. Black women, they're very intense. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dave doesn't like black women. Yeah, they're too fe.

[Big J. Okerson]

Are the mother of your children, Are they black?

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. My baby mom's a black.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's why he doesn't like them anymore.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, my wife is not too fertile.

[Big J. Okerson]

Your what? Is your wife Latina?

[Dave Temple]

She's Puerto Rico.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, I know you're the real.

Yeah, but this is like you're dealing with a minority woman, and she wants you to go demand justice, and you don't want to deal with her shit anymore like a white woman.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get your ass down there and get my mother fucking money back. Back.

[Big J. Okerson]

Even if it's your.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not going to sit here all night with these bed bugs coming around.

[Sean Patton]

Even if it's your.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They going to get inside my Gucci bag, girl.

[Big J. Okerson]

A white woman. You're.

[Dave Temple]

Just get my money back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is Dave Temple. I've changed my mind. This is a sassy black woman who ain't taking no.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You better tell them. Either they ain't going to respond. Respect you, or I ain't gonna respect you.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, my wife wouldn't care. She. She already has her own bugs.

[Dave Temple]

It's great. Thank you for not putting my last name. But Louis. You can't keep voting for me, Louis. This is crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's going to be you.

[Dave Temple]

Might not even erase the paper at.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This point by numbers. It will eventually be you.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, it could be Jake. There hasn't been a J story yet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not yet. That is true.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is also very J personality.

[Rich Voss]

It is.

[Dave Temple]

You know, it's either Jay or Sean.

[Rich Voss]

No, here's the thing, though. Sean wouldn't have a girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my gosh. Have you seen the beard? Check the hair. The Thing's all working.

[Sean Patton]

I mean, my, my DMs are rife with men who think I'm gay because I'm on a show with a gay guy. So yeah, if I ever need my balls drained in Fort Wayne, Indiana by a, by another bearded man, I've got options.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Anybody can have a bunch of chicks want to him. This guy's got several dudes, which brings the next thank you. What hangs out with gay guys? Chicks. So you got to a couple of butts to get to a couple of princesses. Okay.

[Dave Temple]

I can't tell whether Jay's drunk or deflected.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

Cuz there hasn't been a Jay.

[Dave Temple]

There hasn't been a J story. It's either Jay or Sean.

[Sean Patton]

Wait, now I think it's Rich. Is that he gets too aggro.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like now I'm worried it's not Sean.

[Dave Temple]

Nah, if it was Rich, it had been a motel.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Dave Temple]

All right, we've already proved Lewis will squat in a hotel issue too.

[Rich Voss]

No, this is Jay because he would go, he would. The girl would take.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis would go complain. Lewis is gonna say it makes the scene.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, you're knocking on doors and turning up TVs, Jay, you'll eat that. Nah, it's Jay.

[Rich Voss]

They would walk downstairs, go, I ain't gonna say nothing. Yeah, Very, very passive jail.

[Dave Temple]

Turn it into a bit.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

And Alex, all of our answers are.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In Story number five belongs to Dave Temple.

[Dave Temple]

What can I say?

[Sean Patton]

Get too crafty.

[Dave Temple]

Not a good lie.

[Sean Patton]

I knew it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not a good lie.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, I don't remember the hotel that I was staying in, but I definitely. It was like a Saturday, three o' clock in the afternoon, you know, Saturday, you just want to just lay around, you know what I mean?

[Big J. Okerson]

Amongst bugs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, how many you going to bring home? Right?

[Dave Temple]

And yeah, she, she was really adamant about this, but I'm like, dude, even if we. Even if they give us whatever, like another room, putting all your shit and moving to another. I just don't want to do that. Yeah, like, I know hotels are fucked up. So you know it was a black woman. And yes, you have to get up and act like you fucking did something.

[Big J. Okerson]

You were doing two different voices behind the door. Like, no, sir, I have to wait.

[Sean Patton]

For management to come.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I will fuck you up if you make my chick uncomfortable with these bed bumps. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Please don't beat me up. You're so masculine, strong. I'm afraid of you. I'll give you half off this room. Half off. Completely free.

[Sean Patton]

For 400 years, you've been giving us half off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I thought.

[Sean Patton]

I want the full discount.

[Rich Voss]

Yes.

[Sean Patton]

Yes, sir.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, I just stood in the lobby and watched soccer or whatever for like, 28 minutes back upstairs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

28 minutes. You were like. You had a war down there. Oh, my God. The cops came. They left. They came back.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex, after five stories, where are our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

All right. In last place with four points, Dave Temple.

[Dave Temple]

How did this happen? How did this happen?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In fourth place, with six points, Big J Okerson.

[Dave Temple]

There it is.

[Sean Patton]

There it is.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Tied for second place with seven points each, Louis J. Gomez and Sean Patton.

[Sean Patton]

Like it. We're catching up. We're catching up, buddy.

[Big J. Okerson]

We're on your ass.

[Sean Patton]

Right on you, bud.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

And in the lead with eight points.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, man.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Rich Voss.

Right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, it is Go. Anybody's game. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Story number six.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number six. I got sent out of my own hotel room so my friends could have a six sum.

[Big J. Okerson]

Jay.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

That's.

[Sean Patton]

No.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not Louis. He doesn't have that many friends.

Showing her date.

[Sean Patton]

Now I'm too monogamous.

[Big J. Okerson]

I mean, this is a J like story. Is it? Yeah. You're a loser.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jesus Christ. Wow.

[Sean Patton]

I was implying more like you finished the threesome and then three more people showed up and you're like, I got cigarettes.

[Big J. Okerson]

Is that what you got from this? Just this one sentence. He got so much that he had to leave because he was full of.

[Sean Patton]

I respect him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Perhaps that's what it was. The mean thing you're saying.

[Dave Temple]

That's also an interesting spin to hear yourself called the loser. And you're like, hey, this guy gets a lot of.

[Sean Patton]

I'm saying, knowing Jay, he already had a threesome. He was tired. He had camel lights to go puff on. Three more Skank Fest fans showed up.

[Big J. Okerson]

No.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, three more. And you were like, I gotta go.

[Rich Voss]

Wait, but this is a sixam. So there was three girls and three guys.

[Dave Temple]

That does not mean that at all.

[Sean Patton]

Doesn't necessarily mean. Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

By the way, Rich. I was with you. I'm like, three guys, three girls. But I guess it could not be that.

[Big J. Okerson]

I guess six some does imply six of them does. Just to the naked eye implies three guys, three girls. Yes. I wouldn't call five guys running a train on a one girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I call it a gang, man.

[Big J. Okerson]

I called. Yeah, it's a gang bang. Or running a train.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Four guys, two girls would be an orgy.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yes. Orgy. That's an orgy. Jay.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Hand turkey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, that'd be an orgy.

[Sean Patton]

We're all about equality here.

[Rich Voss]

A six.

[Big J. Okerson]

A six genuinely implies three and three.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. Five guys and one girl.

[Sean Patton]

Four on mic, four on two. That's a Chinese finger trap.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, is this black bike gang activity?

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, this could be me.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, you guys were on the road heading to Sturgis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everyone was like.

This is my property. This my property.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is literally how.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, you guys want to plow my old lady?

[Big J. Okerson]

This is why you would join a black bike gang right here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is the moment for.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, my God.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

To not be in a sixum.

[Sean Patton]

This one. This is. This is the trickiest one so far, to be honest.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

Who. Wait, I. Can we do a.

Everyone, right now, at the top of your lungs, on three, yell who you think it is. Three, two, one.

[Rich Voss]

J. J.

[Big J. Okerson]

See, I'm thinking it's J, too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't answer, and that hurt my feelings so much.

[Sean Patton]

Indisputable.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everybody say, you think I got sent away by a six.

[Sean Patton]

There wasn't even, like, seven people in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A room all wanting the. And you think I'm the that got sent away.

[Sean Patton]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That hurts my feelings so much, Jay. I am. Sucks.

[Dave Temple]

I am with you, and I've never seen anyone want to get the stink of losing them off of them harder than that right there.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was Sean.

[Dave Temple]

That I'm Stevie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Dave Temple]

That was Sean.

[Sean Patton]

They want all Sean was like, how.

[Dave Temple]

Many of you guys think Jay's a fucking loser, huh? Yeah, that would never happen to me. That is crazy.

[Sean Patton]

Jay, glasses off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Whoever this is.

[Sean Patton]

Back on, buddy.

[Dave Temple]

Pathetic.

Wow.

[Sean Patton]

That is not. I mean.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, look, he's stuttering.

[Sean Patton]

I would be referee in the sixam. Everyone knows that.

[Dave Temple]

Like, we've all heard. We've already heard a story of him being left out of sex and being upset about it.

[Sean Patton]

I mean, again, good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah, you called the cops.

[Big J. Okerson]

The only.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My only.

[Big J. Okerson]

The only reason I'm thinking it couldn't be Jay is because I feel like I would have heard the story, but he got kicked out of a six sum.

[Dave Temple]

We didn't hear about your Florida story. And that was insane. That's weird that we never heard about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Squat in a hotel.

[Rich Voss]

Maybe there was five other people squatting in that hotel.

And you all were sharing one bag of get chips Reward.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This has no.

[Sean Patton]

Has a reward for such.

[Big J. Okerson]

This is Temple or Big J. I.

[Rich Voss]

Don'T think it's Big J. I don't think it's Temple because I think it's Sean.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, we don't need the bug.

[Rich Voss]

Story fits with Temple.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, Sean said earlier that he was very monogamous.

[Sean Patton]

I did. I did. So I would le. You're right.

[Big J. Okerson]

I would.

[Dave Temple]

He would be the guy that you'd be like, go home, Sean. This ain't for you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't want no parts of this.

[Dave Temple]

This is boy, right.

[Sean Patton]

If you stay, you're not the same person when you leave.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're going with Sean.

[Sean Patton]

Do you still want to be Sean?

Go home, man. I'm trying to help you. No. This is what I do. And I don't know.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich. When in doubt, Rich Vaugh.

[Sean Patton]

Rich Voss. Sometime in the late 80s, maybe.

[Dave Temple]

Rich was too high and they sent him home.

[Sean Patton]

This is when he met Bonnie.

[Big J. Okerson]

Everybody, everyone's answers are in Alex. Six stories down.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number six belongs to Big J. Oh, yeah.

[Sean Patton]

Trust the audience. Double point. Trust the audience.

[Big J. Okerson]

Very good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very.

[Sean Patton]

I asked for your. I asked for your confidence and I defied it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, everyone.

[Big J. Okerson]

Jay, what happened here?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, I didn't know you were.

[Big J. Okerson]

Is it as bad as it sounds?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I told this is a bonfire today. Because it was. When I wrote it reminded me. I would say so much. It was me. I was headlining. Do you remember the Rascals? Cherry Hill. We used to always.

[Rich Voss]

Of course.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And in South Jersey, it was in a Crown Plaza and they'd put you up at the. At the hotel. We would go at one point. It was that one weekend we went. It was me, my friend Travis, Josh WADE and Joe DeRosa is the one. Everybody will know here.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We went to a mall in the afternoon. Cherry Hill Mall. And like. Like that flyer. Yeah, I guess we fly it. Almost basically told people to come to the show. I was headlining a show that would have no people.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, I remember those days, this club.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I'm like, let's go to the mall and try to talk to chicks and we'll get people to come to the show. Josh Wade was a good looking dude who was able to get. He ended up some point talking to these chicks who came to the show. Three girls, a very attractive one that he was locked in with already. Another one that was like kind of. I forget what her friends look like, but one of them was chubby. And that one I locked into because I was like, let's just get that guaranteed, you know what I mean? I'm happy to lock it in. I'm headlining the fucking thing. These are my guys I brought to hang out. And I had a room for myself and a room for Three guys, two beds to stay in in the other room. This is early headlining for me. And these.

[Big J. Okerson]

These.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

After the show, the girls came back to the room.

[Big J. Okerson]

What did the third girl look like, though?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There was, like a. There was a very attractive one, one that I can't remember. I think she was pretty cute. And then the one that I locked on to was this chubbier one who books that room. It was Jason Pollard. But they. So we're. We're all in the room. Four guys, three girls. And this keeps getting acknowledged. There's, like, kind of like this loose thing, and there's. Obviously the chubby girl is the one who's got a decision to make, but I thought the decision was made in my head. I was like, well, look, we can't all hang out in here. The ratio's way off. We gotta lose somebody. I'm almost leading the charge of, like, let's get this solved, huh? And then. Yeah.

And then I say to the girl, I go, well, who do you wanna hang out with? You know? I mean, who do you. Who you wanna hang out with? And she was like, oh, I don't wanna say that. I'll make it make me feel bad. Stuff like that. And I'm like, she's protecting poor Joe Derosa's feelings.

I'm like, fucking. What a sweet girl. I go, look, it's cool. We're all adults. We could take it. She's like, no, no, no. So then I go, all right, how about this? Write it down on a piece of paper, hand it to me, and then I'll see. And then whoever you write, I go write the name of the person you want to stay, and the other person will go, we're all cool. No big deal. Okay? She writes down a thing and folds a piece of paper up. I couldn't wait to grab it fastest. I go, let me read. I open it up, it says, Joe. I go, this is who you want to stay, right?

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. That's a weird. That's a weird way to spell J.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I couldn't believe she said, not that. It's not even a comparison to me and Joe. I just thought me and her were having a thing. So the Joe thing came out of nowhere. Like, almost like she found out in that moment. She goes, oh, that guy's an option instead of this guy. And. And, dude, when I read the Job, I remember looking at people.

[Big J. Okerson]

He had to wear her oversized T shirt at the end of the night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude. Yeah, she had to. He cooked her breakfast in her panties, her football jersey.

[Rich Voss]

Did they let you eat breakfast with them or you sat at another table by yourself?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I had the other room that had two beds. This was a king bedroom. Just because of the moment. It was so awkward in that moment. Technically, I should have been like, well, hey, this is my room. So go over to the room with two beds and blah, blah, blah. But in panic awkwardness, when I saw. Which I go, this is. You want to stay, right? Go. So, yeah, that's, like, totally cool. And I just, like, left the room and had to go sleep in this other room. This is before laptops and fucking all this. It was like I had to watch, like, coach on fucking USA network while everybody else got laid and I was sitting in a fucking weird room.

[Sean Patton]

Enduro so was in that. I mean, Derosa is. Derosa is a true beacon of equality. He choose. He proves that women are just as damaged as men.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Sean Patton]

By how much ass he gets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Sean Patton]

It's insane.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. If you hang out. If you hang out later than everybody else, a girl will you. It's.

[Sean Patton]

It's how mad Joe derosa Parks Betty.

[Rich Voss]

I mean, how mad does a girl have to be at her to Derosa think about that. I wouldn't see. I can't believe you didn't open it up and go, you know what?

[Big J. Okerson]

What?

[Rich Voss]

You guys stay. I'm just gonna leave.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And not Rick Expose who it was.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, you should have just said, you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Know, I was thrown for. I was like, this girl. I wasn't like, she's probably gonna choose me. I'm like, me and this girl. It's like, we've been sitting. We've been doing a lot of this, like, already all night. Joe's just been floating around, and you probably. And then at one point was like, well, so who you want probably Joe to go, but you don't want to be mean to him. I go, I understand, sweetheart. Just write down Joe's name and I'll send him away. And it was like, no, you get out. You fell fat.

[Sean Patton]

It's the height, dude. Joe's tall. Women, like, tall.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

6 foot 3.

[Big J. Okerson]

And you probably Jay's 2 inches taller than Derosa.

[Sean Patton]

I'm trying to make sense of it for 20 years now. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can't do it.

[Sean Patton]

I've been trying to make sense of this since I've known the guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dara is the person I made the most jokes about in the world, where I've been like, hey, raise your hand if you. The Rosa. And in a room of comedians of four girl comics will go like, jesus.

[Sean Patton]

Do you know, do you know the Edinburgh story about Jack, how he kept finding dead bees in his room in Edinburgh Fringe fest in Scotland. And then he would. And Ari told me this, he would find out afterwards. There was the two British comics they were staying with who just kept putting dead bees.

They had, like, found a hive and, like, frozen it, like you're supposed to do humanely. And then just would sprinkle dead bees.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In his room and he would find them. Freak out. Just freak out. Of course. That's good. That's good. That's a good derosa one.

[Big J. Okerson]

But who stayed here before me? Candyman.

[Sean Patton]

But we love ourselves some Joey D. Six stories down.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex, where are our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

All right. In last place with four points, Dave Temple.

[Dave Temple]

Y' all can do better than that. Come on. It's not easy to be last.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Has points.

Points, points.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In fourth place with seven points, Sean Patton.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, I fell to fourth.

[Big J. Okerson]

How did you beat me?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In third place with 10 points, Big J Okerson.

In second place with 11 points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hackie Lewis is winning. Hacky.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

And in the lead with 12 points, Rich Voss.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, man.

Richfoss.com Rich Voss. Proof. If he lived long enough, things start looking up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Eventually it will turn around. The pendulum will always swing. Dave, you're correct.

[Rich Voss]

Well, at least you got a middle gig out of this one.

[Big J. Okerson]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment to thank Chubby's for supporting the show. Cold weather is about to drop, so now you got to switch out your Chubby shorts for something warmer. That's why Chubby's has everywhere pants that are comfy and built to last. The most comfortable pants that I've ever worn. And they have a whole line of winter gear like flannels, pullovers, and quarter zips that are going to keep you warm no matter what is going on this holiday season.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's perfect for upgrading your winter wardrobe and for a limited time. Well, first of all, the NFL season is here. And if you are going to get Chubby stuff as a gift, they have a new NFL collection with stretch polos and swim trunks for all 32 NFL teams.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's a perfect gift. Gift.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is a great gift because it's comfortable and it also has the your favorite team on it.

[Big J. Okerson]

I know what Jake's getting. I know what Jay's getting this whole little season.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm gonna have eagles across my nuts.

[Big J. Okerson]

Oh, I got you a Giants jersey. No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Our listeners over here at Story wars are going to get 20 off your purchase at Chubby's with promo code wars with a Z at checkout.

[Big J. Okerson]

Just head over to chubby shorts.com that's C-U-B-B-I-S shorts.com and use that promo code wars with a Z W a r z for 20 off. Okay, story warriors, let's take a moment and thank Mint Mobile for being a supporter of the show. You're probably overpaying for your cell phone service. Let's get real. Mint Mobile is running their best deal of the year. Right now all unlimited plans are 50% off. So you can get 3, 6 or 12 months of unlimited premium wireless for just $15 a month. This is it. I'll tell you right now. My aunt, I got her a Mint Mobile phone. She loves it. Now my niece is about to get her first phone. Now obviously it's going to be Mint Mobile. This is affordable. I was spending $130 a line for me and my son. He's switching to Mint Mobile. This is it. Why would you. You're already. They literally come in the nation's largest 5G network, Unlimited Talking text. You don't need to spend a wild amount of money to have a great cell phone service plan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And, and I don't know if this is true for sure. In fact, it might be false. But I heard that every Mint Mobile customer at least once a year will get a random call from Ryan Reynolds.

[Big J. Okerson]

We don't know if it's true. That's not guaranteed. There's still a small chance.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And as Louis likes you doing deadpool, as Lewis likes to say, there's a path.

[Big J. Okerson]

There is a path. Right now, shop Mint unlimited [e-mail] wars w a r z that's mintmobile.com warz w a r z Limited time offer upfront payment of 45 for 3 months, 90 for 6 months or 180 for the 12 month plan required. Equivalent to 15amonth taxes and fees extra initial plan term only. Over 35 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. Capable device required. Availability, speed and coverage varies. CementMobile.com for details else what's up story warriors?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's take a second and talk about one of our amazing sponsors over here. And that is Ridge Wallet. They're back baby. The Ridge Wallet is back. And it's back big. Your wallet holds your most important items. Replace your worn out old hunk of wallet with a new Ridge 2.0 wallet. They're made out of premium materials like aluminum, titanium, leather and carbon fiber. They hold up to 12 cards now with Ridges light and slim design. It's amazing. Lewis, you're back on it.

[Sean Patton]

Big.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm back on a big. That's it. I take it out every time. I got a cool little Ridge wallet. Every time you take it out, people are like, oh, what is that? You can see their eyes go down to your wallet. And like, that is cool right there. Front pocket, super slim. You don't have to be sitting on a big, hunky leather wallet. Go look at their line of wallets. I'm sorry, Right now. You're gonna love it. The man in your life is gonna love it. Or the woman in your life, possibly. They got a little money clip on it as well, which is absolutely awesome. And they have other stuff, too. They have luggage, key cases, and power banks. Great company, great products. We love Ridge. They've been with us for a long time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So they also do. They also do the NFL and Major League baseball, college logos and stuff. So they really. Yeah, they have all kinds of fun stuff.

[Big J. Okerson]

Head over to ridge.com and get up to 47% off your order today. This is by far the biggest discount that they're giving all year. So ridge.com. no promo code needed. Up to 47% off during the biggest sale of the year. And when you purchase something, they're gonna ask where you heard about them. Just support the show and let them know that you heard about them on story Warning. All right, where were we?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex?

[Big J. Okerson]

Story number seven.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, they're catching me.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number seven. I got drunk with a female friend after a show. She fell asleep while I was going down on her.

And I couldn't tell you how long I continued for before realizing definitely, clearly, not Lewis.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, not Lewis.

[Big J. Okerson]

Not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She would not fall asleep if I was down there.

[Dave Temple]

What?

[Rich Voss]

Not Dave.

[Big J. Okerson]

Also, this is literally rape.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Is it, though?

[Big J. Okerson]

And it's Dave. He's like, no, it's not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was pre telling.

[Big J. Okerson]

How's that rape, dude? I think it's pretty cool.

[Dave Temple]

Giving her pleasure.

[Rich Voss]

Black guys only puss. Unless that shit's fried.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It does say she fell asleep while. Yeah, not like. Like. Like.

[Big J. Okerson]

Who looks like they give the worst oral sex here?

[Sean Patton]

Why are you staring directly at me?

[Big J. Okerson]

Your big old beard where it looks nice. I feel like it would be very distracting during oral sex.

[Sean Patton]

I'm a scoreboard. Disagree, boy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, disagree. I bet you.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Big J. Okerson]

Dude, anyone with a beard can't eat. Yeah, okay.

[Sean Patton]

Okay. Mustache.

[Big J. Okerson]

Love it. It's a little.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's for tickling the top.

[Big J. Okerson]

When I'm 69. With. With a dude I just tickle his balls.

[Sean Patton]

Do we need to have a competition, you and I? Do we need to ask.

[Big J. Okerson]

Eating competition.

[Sean Patton]

Do we need to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do we suck off. Hey, he wants to get their. No, no, no. For science. Don't be sluts.

[Dave Temple]

I think it's Rich, because why else would you marry a comedian?

[Big J. Okerson]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but Rich hasn't gotten drunk since he was like 13 or something.

[Rich Voss]

All right.

[Big J. Okerson]

When. It was when 20s, I was.

[Rich Voss]

I, I, I was up.

[Big J. Okerson]

He's been sober. Sober for 40 years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So he.

[Big J. Okerson]

He was.

[Rich Voss]

I stopped.

[Big J. Okerson]

You were 45 when you got sober? Something like that.

[Rich Voss]

Another old joke. You, my tenant is talking to me that way. Go yourself. I'm raising your rent. Here's the thing.

[Dave Temple]

There was no thing.

[Big J. Okerson]

Well, it's not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is just. Bosses have drunk stories. I don't think.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Think?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

What's that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think you have a lot of drunk stories.

[Rich Voss]

No, that's gay. I smoke crack like a man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I mean.

[Rich Voss]

Drinking and smoking pot, gay. Suck a dick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This could be Lewis. Sean, you seem sensitive enough to have a lot of female friends.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, but you'd know. You wouldn't. I, I. You'd know immediately if she fell asleep.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, but Sean seems like an eater.

[Dave Temple]

What does that mean? When somebody scratches their nose while they.

[Rich Voss]

Talking to you, they're nervous.

[Sean Patton]

It means I'm trying to be bait. The person whose story it really is to commenting.

No, I don't. I mean, it's not.

[Rich Voss]

It's not.

[Sean Patton]

I do have a lot of female friends. I just don't go down on any of them.

[Dave Temple]

Wait, why ever?

[Big J. Okerson]

Sean, you do have the energy of a friend who asks to go down on his female friend.

[Dave Temple]

Female friend.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. And your voice just went up like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a crazy octave job. That was female friend, too.

[Dave Temple]

Like a female friend somebody's after.

[Rich Voss]

Somebody's jumping up in points on this one.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm putting the voting in Sean Patton. I'm starting it off. I think that's.

[Sean Patton]

I'll accept your apology afterwards.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy.

[Sean Patton]

Quick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was crazy.

[Big J. Okerson]

That wasn't that quick.

[Sean Patton]

We didn't. We've debated.

[Big J. Okerson]

The show's been going on for three days.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know, but the first story went on for 45 minutes.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, it's not. Lewis. Once she fell asleep, that's when he would have robbed her.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you're absolutely right. You're not gonna eat her, dude. Well, maybe while you're going through her Boggins.

[Sean Patton]

I don't know.

[Dave Temple]

I feel like that's when Lewis would get his practice in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A friend after a show. Yeah, this doesn't sound. Doesn't sound like a black story.

[Rich Voss]

A female friend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna go with Sean again.

[Sean Patton]

I'll accept your apologies on the podcast, preferably while we're still recording. Okay, Please, some low brow. I thought we were friends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It also could be the ramblings of a desperate man trying to maintain his points.

[Big J. Okerson]

Eats as boring as they come.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ah, damn. A real snoozer of a box.

[Sean Patton]

I just didn't know you guys thought so.

[Big J. Okerson]

Really put you to sleep down there.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, it could be, Jay, because you commit to things you do. That's what I like about you. You're a committer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Quitter by nature, I'd say, but I'll take it. Spread the word, dude. I eat till it's done.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Yes.

[Sean Patton]

Till there's none left in the dish.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't leave crumbs.

[Rich Voss]

No, not fat girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no.

[Rich Voss]

Derosa does that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's Derosa's world.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Wait, what's wrong with fat girl?

[Rich Voss]

Nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nothing. Especially when Derosa steals her from you in the middle of the night after.

[Rich Voss]

You bought her lunch at the mall.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I paid for the pizzas.

[Dave Temple]

She had so much of it, and that took it. And that's the day you turn red pill.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm going.

[Sean Patton]

I'm going. I'm just. I'm just firing back, okay? I have no proof. I'm just fir.

[Dave Temple]

Wait, wait. Just. Just off.

Really? You feel like this is an attack?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not a bad. It's not a bad rationale, by the way. Sometimes the person who throws a quick jab is just trying to.

[Sean Patton]

He came at me too.

[Dave Temple]

You know what? Lewis's body language is different. Usually when it's voting time, he's up front. Two hands on the mic, Dave.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're very convincing. Please don't make me think it's Lewis when the one time I don't vote for him.

[Dave Temple]

I'm just saying you've. Every time. He's always.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know, but I always vote for him.

[Big J. Okerson]

And I'm wrong.

[Dave Temple]

He's a little bit chill. Today is a little chill.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah. I mean, look, is this you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you. Are you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Do you think that a girl's falling asleep while I'm eating her?

[Rich Voss]

No, when you're on.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, it's not.

[Rich Voss]

No, when you're on stage, that's when they sleep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I heard you eat that whack ass pussy.

[Big J. Okerson]

You've heard nothing but good things about my pussy eating skills. I heard you Eat whack ass boss. You guys gotta vote.

[Dave Temple]

I'm, I'm. I'm voting now, but God damn it. Always comes down to Lewis and Rich. You guys are so similar.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, just junkies.

[Rich Voss]

You're doing a lot of talking.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Is that Dave with an E?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lot of.

[Dave Temple]

Oh, is that what we doing? We doing the spider man thing? We both pointing at each other.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich writes E, A V, E.

[Dave Temple]

I'm.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm.

[Dave Temple]

I'm going to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ah.

[Dave Temple]

It sounds like Sean, but Lewis's body language.

[Big J. Okerson]

Acting crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dave is acting a lot, right?

[Big J. Okerson]

Dave's acting too silent.

[Dave Temple]

Dave's too silent.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, But I was hilarious throughout this.

[Rich Voss]

Well, you're all right. I had a good one.

[Dave Temple]

I want the points. I'm going, Sean. And it's not because I think low of you, Sean. It's just going with the popular vote.

[Big J. Okerson]

All of our answers are in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, what have you got?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

All right, everybody, Story number seven belongs to Big Jefferson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Dave Temple]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rich got me right in there.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's a big round.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a big round. But Rich stopped me from getting fucking. And he's in the lead.

[Big J. Okerson]

That's why they. That's why they kicked you out of that six time because you suck at eating. They heard the tales.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm really good at eating. I'm fat, idiot.

[Rich Voss]

Six.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Yeah. It was a friend of mine. Wow. It was funny. It's my first, like, girlfriend ever when we were, like, younger. And then she came. We were hanging out a bunch. She came to one of my shows at that same Crowne Plaza, that same Rascals comedy club, and we were hammered. We went back to my room. We were, like, making out and hanging. And then, like, we started hooking up and I went down on her. And then while I was going down on her, it was going great. And then knock on the door, it's Sean Patton. No.

Dick out. It was my two friends I had working with me that weekend. And she was like, like, under. I put her, you know, under a blanket before I opened the door. I'm like. I'm like, what? Cause we were all sharing a room. So I go, like, what? And they were like, hey, we're gonna go to a diner. You wanna go to a diner? I go, nah, dude, I'm hooking up. And they went, oh. And they went, she's asleep.

I went like this. I went, went. I went, no, dude. She's acting like she's asleep and she's embarrassed because you guys are here. And they go, okay, dude, but I Think she's asleep. And I went, you're crazy. Get out of here. And then they left. And then I walked over to her, and I went, she's asleep. And then. So I just, like. I covered her more, and I just started laying there. And then it was funny that I was like. I mean, 30 seconds after that, Derosa comes back. It was Derosa in another community meeting.

[Big J. Okerson]

Because I can wake that girl up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. They back. No. And honestly, they came back. They barrelled back in the room. They go, dude, I don't think you should do that. That girl's asleep. I was just like, yeah, I know. She's asleep for sure.

[Rich Voss]

What?

Nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it was. That was actually a. A good thing to be able to tell somebody, because that girl called me the next day, and we've been friends since we were kids, and still. But she goes. She goes, goes, hey, did we hook up? It's one of those things she had to ask, like, hey, did we hook up last night? She goes, I was super hammered. It's fine if we did. I just want to know. But I'm like, don't worry. I was like, no, no, we didn't. But, like, watch your ass, because we could have.

[Dave Temple]

She's like, I don't know what happened, but my pussy smells like mouth.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that. That. That happened for sure. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Alex, seven stories down, I. There was a big point shake up just now. Where are points at all right.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In last place with four points, Dave Temple.

[Dave Temple]

Damn.

[Sean Patton]

I support you.

[Big J. Okerson]

I support you.

[Rich Voss]

This is the one.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

You come back in fourth place with seven points, Sean Patton.

In third place with 11 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J. Okerson]

There you go.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

And tied for the lead.

With 16 points each, big J. Okerson and Rich Falls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Palestine. Palestine. Right.

[Rich Voss]

Double point.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich is just a senile old man.

You gave a button that he could press. Oh, we have one more story, guys. You ready for your final story? Come on, folks.

Alex, story number eight.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number eight. I let a fellow comedian stay in my room at a festival he wasn't officially booked on. He brought a girl back to the room, and thinking that I was asleep, they started canoodling. I put an end to it.

[Big J. Okerson]

Jesus.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This actually feels like Sean to me.

[Rich Voss]

I don't know why.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, no, this is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was strictly. But the quote unquote comedian.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, that's boss.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, I mean, Voss is the least fun person on the panel.

[Sean Patton]

No, that is. What are you talking about?

[Rich Voss]

I have great lines tonight.

[Big J. Okerson]

Not funny.

[Sean Patton]

You have amazing.

[Big J. Okerson]

The least is fun.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, what am I supposed to do? Backflips.

Trying to win you.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, I'm saying, like. Like, I would have let him. First of all, canoodling is a hilarious old person word.

[Sean Patton]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, canoodling is a great word, but.

[Big J. Okerson]

It'S a great word.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dated.

[Rich Voss]

It's not me, believe me, because I picked a lot of festivals. All right, but what. What's the story?

[Sean Patton]

Ah, comedian in quotes for something about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That said says boss for sure.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah. Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Like, it's like it wasn't officially booked on. I mean, that's like something like. Like an old pro would do. Like Voss or Big J would let someone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, I absolutely have a Kurt Metzger's girlfriend. When I first met him, I let her stay in my hotel room at Just for last festival before. But she's a girl, for one.

[Rich Voss]

She.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If she would have brought a girl back to the room thinking I was asleep and they were canoodling, I would have been also jerking off.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, you would have been canoodling your balls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I would have been canoodling all over myself.

I'd have been covered in canood.

[Rich Voss]

Why Derosa was him.

Here's the thing.

Me, you and Sean have been around long enough to go to more festivals.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Rich Voss]

Than Lewis and Dave.

[Big J. Okerson]

I've been around for a pretty long time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For a long time. He just hasn't done a lot of festivals.

[Big J. Okerson]

I've done all the festivals.

[Sean Patton]

I've seen Louis at quite a few. Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Rich Voss]

I've done everything trying to make you feel good.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. This is weird, though. Y' all don't have no stories about y' all killing in the hotel. Like, no one successfully hooked up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I get so much fun. I crush so much.

[Dave Temple]

This is not me, I'll tell you that.

[Rich Voss]

This is.

[Dave Temple]

Hey.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, that was a big flare up. That was some peacocking right there.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, there's a story about killing a pussy.

[Sean Patton]

See, I made a woman orgasm so hard, she stopped believing in God, started believing in me.

That was one of my stories.

[Dave Temple]

I do call myself to God on my podcast, actually.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what's so funny is while this is not me, the flip side of this story is I let Kurt Messer's ex girlfriend stay in my room, and she brought back a young not famous yet, Reggie Watts, Skinny, by the way, back to my room and tried to fuck him while I was there playing video games. And I'm like, what are you doing, you weirdo?

[Rich Voss]

Show is he. You call him. You think he's famous?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure, yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Reggie Watts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, he was like, he's the he was the band for the Stephen Colbert show. Was it? Right? Yeah, yeah.

[Rich Voss]

Oh.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, I think it was somebody else.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I put an end to it. You know what?

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, that part. Step part's ominous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's pretty bossy.

[Big J. Okerson]

It's a little bossy, but it's also. It could be a little Big J. Yeah. Because he. He was scorned from that six. Some dude. It wasn't three in a row, was it? The last one was yours.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The last two were mine. Yeah, but the last two stories in.

[Big J. Okerson]

A row were Jays.

[Dave Temple]

It shocked you. But hold on.

[Big J. Okerson]

Is that true?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Yes.

[Big J. Okerson]

The last two stories in a row were jays.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Stories number six and seven were both big Js.

[Sean Patton]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J. Okerson]

Okay, this would be really.

[Dave Temple]

But Big J does travel.

[Big J. Okerson]

It does happen.

[Rich Voss]

But Lewis is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I do think some people are just comedians.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I would get super. If the audience see that.

[Sean Patton]

Do y' all know it's Comedians in Quotes?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah. And that's the thing.

Big J travels with a young Dylan Negry who would bring a chick back to the room and hook up.

[Big J. Okerson]

And we also do refer to him as a comedian.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I think it's Dave. Because in a bazillion years, I have young Dylan negro come with me. He doesn't stay in my hotel room with me.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah. See, Lewis is the guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would bring a young boy in.

[Rich Voss]

Lewis would go, this. If I'm not getting on, get the out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Correct.

[Rich Voss]

That's what. See, he's old school. Get the out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's rich.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Canoodling.

[Sean Patton]

I put it. I put an end to it. That just feels very bossy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you're thinking possibly still.

[Big J. Okerson]

Because I've never had somebody at three in a row in the second half of the game. That'd be insane.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Think about this. Think about my personality.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Would I. If I have to tell the story, would I do comedian? I'm gonna. I'd bump somebody.

[Big J. Okerson]

You might not do comedian.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who's open for me that I would want to hurt feelings like that.

[Big J. Okerson]

This could be very young, early. Just for laugh stays names.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would. Name of people I hated back then.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, for sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're right. Right. Go put me.

[Big J. Okerson]

The only reason I'm not putting you right now is because story six and seven were yours.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So what, dude? We said this could happen.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, this could.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

This could be a. I don't think that Sean's a nice guy. I don't think Sean would put comedian in quotes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure he would. Because they were a guitar Act.

[Big J. Okerson]

I don't think that he would kick somebody out for canoodling.

[Rich Voss]

Wait, they checked the spelling on these.

[Big J. Okerson]

And the quotes and all that?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't worry, Rich. They fix canoodling for you.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, yeah. But that O you thought was in Lewis turns out it was in canoodling.

[Dave Temple]

And I feel like it's like they.

[Big J. Okerson]

Changed the way I spelled it. I spelled it with a K. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A KK.

[Dave Temple]

But I feel like canoodling is a Yiddish word, so it comes down to you two Jews on the panel.

[Sean Patton]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it definitely feels. It definitely feels like deli. Like, old.

[Big J. Okerson]

They've both had two stories in already, and they both had two stories in a row.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Doesn't matter. Completely random.

[Rich Voss]

Lewis is trying to figure. You know what?

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich. There's no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, another name.

[Sean Patton]

I think it's Rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like that.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah, I think it's Rich.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You should go L, E W I s like Richard Lewis.

[Big J. Okerson]

I. Ah. I just don't think that this is Dave or Sean.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it's not me for sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What if this is Dave dominated.

[Sean Patton]

What you vot for? I'd like to be that mean.

[Dave Temple]

You know what? The last time I played this game, I had. I was dead last. And the last story was me that broke a tiebreaker, so that could happen again tonight.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, it's a long drive back to Philly, huh?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He lives up here. Dude, get to know your black comics.

[Rich Voss]

I'm done with that, man. I'm out of that scene years ago.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

Jeff dam didn't treat him well.

[Sean Patton]

You say Jeff dam?

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Jeff.

[Big J. Okerson]

My vote is for big J. Okerson. Three in a row in the second half. It would be a crazy, crazy thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Lewis. It's Lewis. It's Lewis.

[Sean Patton]

Dave, I think it's Rich.

[Dave Temple]

It's not. It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't even matter. You've lost no matter what. Unless this is your story.

[Dave Temple]

This is the same position I was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In the last time.

[Dave Temple]

It's not Lois, and it was between you two.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You.

[Dave Temple]

Who's tied with Jay? Who's tied with Rich?

[Big J. Okerson]

Rich and Jay are tired.

[Dave Temple]

Rich and Jay are tired right now. Yeah. So Jay needs points of people not guessing him.

[Big J. Okerson]

You.

[Dave Temple]

No, it's Jay. It's Jay.

[Rich Voss]

It ain't Jay. They're not doing.

[Dave Temple]

It's Jay. Jay has arrived at that level of Jew.

[Sean Patton]

No.

[Rich Voss]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'd love to. He's getting there.

[Big J. Okerson]

All of our answers are in Alex. Our final story. Who does it belong to?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Holy. Everyone. Story number eight. Sean belongs to Sean.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And that makes perfect sense. Oh, you want. That smile was so adorably genuine.

[Sean Patton]

All right, south by Southwest. That was the festival.

[Dave Temple]

Who was the comedian?

[Sean Patton]

I'm not gonna say, because that's guitar act. I despise them. No, they're not. I don't even think they're. This was 2022. I already think they're kind of done.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Brooks Wheeling.

[Sean Patton]

No, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm just guessing names. It's.

[Rich Voss]

It. It's crystalia and a 14 year old.

[Sean Patton]

That's loser. No. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I was like, I gotta stop. No, the Bible says she's gotta swear her age. Jen. That's weird. I know. But no, it was south by Southwest. They got a problem with book. They had a pro. I don't think they're doing comedy anymore. But this guy was just kind of. And I got me at the right time. Big heart. I let him stay in my room, and he was just a annoying piece of. Every single night. I had to get him in every party. He kept trying to. This was back before Rogan landed really in. I mean, well, the club was there, but like, it was before Kill Tony was a thing. And they were still doing that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a big ask. What, he would stay with you?

[Sean Patton]

He would stay with me. And then he was trying to get into every single event. And I'm like, no, stop. And then just one night, I'm trying to sleep because it's. If you've ever been like a. South by Southwest was my fourth night there, and I'm like, I'm dying right now. I've been up. I. I smoked a cigarette. I hadn't done that in years. And I was with my conscience.

I'd been drinking all day, doing shows. My voice was raspy, free Taco Bell. And it was. Yeah. And it was like. Like three in the morning. And I'm just there. And he comes in and I could tell he's with someone. And they're trying to be quiet. I'm like, you got to be kidding me. This is violating so many, like, friendship laws right now.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

And they just start. You hear like the.

[Rich Voss]

They were eating.

[Sean Patton]

No, but I mean, not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are they trying to weirdly hide it from you? A little bit.

[Sean Patton]

Yeah. Then they're trying to hide it. And he does the thing that I knew. Say he. He turns the TV up a little bit louder. Which in my head, like, what if that wakes me up, you idiot. But I'm already awake now. Luckily, I. At that exact moment before they came in, I had been in and out of Sleep and had to. And I was, before they walked in, was doing that debate with myself. I'm like, do I just go now or just try and sleep first? And they were in. I'm like, oh, this is amazing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I. Dude, you hate other people coming.

[Sean Patton]

Absolutely. When it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When it.

[Sean Patton]

Absolutely when it's on my time and it's not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

I Scrooge McDuck over here, but.

[Sean Patton]

I straight up jumped up, went to the bathroom with the door open.

[Rich Voss]

What the.

[Sean Patton]

Cuz I was just angry. I was just angry at this point.

[Rich Voss]

What if that turned her on?

[Sean Patton]

With the door open, they didn't see.

[Big J. Okerson]

Anything, but they could hear me.

[Sean Patton]

And I made a big production out of it, like, all that.

[Big J. Okerson]

Damn it.

[Sean Patton]

You know, finished. And then at this point, I was like, I don't even care anymore. And just walked in, out fully nude, just no underwear, no shirt, and hopped back in the bed naked.

[Big J. Okerson]

Didn't even wipe.

[Sean Patton]

No, I definitely wiped. I definitely wiped. But I can. I can just vividly remember walking back in naked, and they're both, like, laying prone, trying to pretend like they're asleep with both of their eyes are just wide open, staring at me as I walk by. And I hop in the bed and I just go, oh, sorry. Didn't realize you guys were there. Anyway. And just. And I said it half sarcasm, sarcastically, and they, of course, took the hint, got up and left.

[Big J. Okerson]

Wow.

[Sean Patton]

And he didn't.

[Big J. Okerson]

Great story.

[Sean Patton]

He didn't stay.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, that's a good story.

[Sean Patton]

That was an. I think it violates code.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Before we throw out these scores, there could have been a shake up here. And I will let you know that whoever wins this takes home Quantum Mechanics in Everyday Life, a book that highlights how quantum science continues to shape the future. Superconductors could one day make energy loss a thing of the past. And quantum computers may soon process information at unimaginable speeds. Quantum Mechanics in Everyday Life proves the understanding the unseen can change the way we see everything.

Alex, let us know who steals this book, all right? Right.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In last place with four points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shut up.

[Dave Temple]

There's no need to say it. Shut the up.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Move on, Dave Temple.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

In fourth place with 11 points, Luis J. Gomez.

In third place with 15 points, Sean Patton.

[Sean Patton]

Oh, I thought I won. I literally thought I won.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I did, too. I thought you won.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

And holding on to the tie with 16 points each, big J. Okerson and Rich Vaugh.

[Sean Patton]

Tiebreaker, tiebreaker, Tiebreaker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J. Okerson]

So the way it works when we have a tiebreaker, then a story where as we go one More story. One more round. Now, here's the deal. It's not going to be Big J or Voss's story. They're the only two playing. So it's going to be mine, Dave Temple or Sean Patton's story. What you have to do right now, Rich, is you have 16 points. You have to wager any amount between 0 and 16 points on your final answer. Don't say, put it on your board and hide it from everyone. And you're going to put your board face down after you wager your points.

[Rich Voss]

This is so cool.

[Sean Patton]

Hell, yeah.

[Rich Voss]

This is like TV.

[Big J. Okerson]

So wager 0 to 16 points. Big J, he has his wager if you want to put it down. Face down, Jay, Maybe. Okay. All right. Our wagers are in. Alex, our final story. Story number.

Number nine.

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number nine.

A comedian advised me when hooking up on the road, never let the girl stay the night. Make sure she's laughing when I walk her to the lobby and ask the time at the front desk before heading back up. He said this would keep me out of trouble.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Dave Temple. This is a black guy. Terrified. Yes.

[Dave Temple]

I will say, the last time that I was on the show, I was in the same fucking predicament.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And this happened again.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah, it's my story at the end, and it does nothing for me.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, Dave, you don't have to tell everyone. It's your story.

[Rich Voss]

Here's the thing. That's the story. I. That's my story. I told somebody that. Now, I'm not close. I could have told Dave that when I drove him home that night. Night. All right. Me and Sean aren't like that. We don't talk like that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you guys don't share stories?

[Rich Voss]

No, no, no.

[Sean Patton]

That should change, Rich.

[Rich Voss]

Yeah, you should. Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I call Sean once a month just to exchange. Just getting gash.

[Sean Patton]

You should get in on the group chat.

[Rich Voss]

I don't know if ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just two guys talking about Slice.

[Rich Voss]

Dude, I could have told Lewis that story, too, though. Yeah, that's the story. Because I remember walking downstairs with a girl all the time. Time. I used to go to the guy behind the counter, what time you got? So we knew it was 2 o'.

[Big J. Okerson]

Clock.

[Rich Voss]

I'd say something funny, he'd laugh, she'd laugh. So now I had my alibi. Who the did I tell that to? Definitely not Sean. It's between Lewis and Dave. I told Dave that in the car, probably driving him home that night. I don't have to tell Louis sex stories because he knows them all.

[Big J. Okerson]

I told him to you, I was like, rich, this is how you get out of race rape. No, I haven't. Don't worry.

[Dave Temple]

Jesus Christ.

[Rich Voss]

So. But if I vote for Dave, then it's. It keeps going.

[Big J. Okerson]

No, no, because you have to. Wait. You wager points?

[Rich Voss]

Oh, who did I tell? That's. I gotta go.

[Big J. Okerson]

Dave.

[Rich Voss]

Because we just got to see who points, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Rich Voss]

But what if we're both wrong? Oh, then we.

[Big J. Okerson]

Look, I do get your points.

[Rich Voss]

It's between. I told it between.

[Sean Patton]

It is like T. TV confusing to old people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How do you work this for cop the game.

[Rich Voss]

Oh, wait. But we're wrong. We lose all those points.

[Dave Temple]

Exactly, Rich. That's how money works.

[Rich Voss]

Okay, Whoever it was, blink once, yes, twice, no. Oh. L is looking at me like some.

Him. I told Dave that story driving you back to fucking Jersey City. I might have. Yeah. I didn't tell her. I'm gonna go with Dave.

[Sean Patton]

Right.

[Big J. Okerson]

Nice. Very nice. They both. Both went with Dave. Alex, who did the final story belong to?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

Story number nine belongs to Dave Temple.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yes, of course.

[Rich Voss]

Okay.

[Big J. Okerson]

Now, Rich, you could have. You could have just skipped all of that pontificating and listened when Dave said it was my story. Oh, at the top of the story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Say, it happened again. My story. Yeah, it does.

[Rich Voss]

Told me that story.

[Dave Temple]

Yes, Rich did tell me that story was Rich. Which was wild invite. And it wasn't like, recently. I was like a young comic that just happened to meet Rich in front of the seller originally.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

He's just chewing his Nicorette gum and he goes, all right, here's a tip for you. If you're ever on the road and you're hooking up with a chick. All right?

[Big J. Okerson]

That's good advice.

[Rich Voss]

Get your alibi.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yeah.

[Dave Temple]

Make sure you book a room that has a lobby.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay?

[Dave Temple]

That's where you want to start. And then when you're taking a chick downstairs, do your bits in the elevator. Just get her laughing and talking on the way out that way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's doing good.

[Dave Temple]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Elevator bits.

[Rich Voss]

What am I going to say with you from.

[Dave Temple]

Make sure she's rolling on your way out of the lobby. And then when you come back, strike a conversation with the man at the desk and then ask him the time before you go upstairs, you'll never get accused of rape.

[Big J. Okerson]

Great advice. Great advice.

So what did you wager, Voss? 16 all 16 points. And Big J wagered 10 points. That means your winner for the second time ever.

Returning Story wars champion Rich Voss.

[Sean Patton]

It's the same outcome.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rich Voss, repeat story Warrior two Time.

[Rich Voss]

Story Warrior this is better than my kids.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is because this will never turn on you.

[Rich Voss]

Wait, has anybody ever scored this many points?

[Sean Patton]

Yeah.

[Big J. Okerson]

Yes.

[Rich Voss]

What's the most points?

[Alex (Producer/Host)]

38 in a regular game.

[Rich Voss]

I'm coming back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. He will be back. Everybody send his title. How about for our amazing panel tonight, the great Sean Patton, Dave Temple.

And again, story warrior Rich Voss. Yeah.

[Sean Patton]

And for Lewis and Jay and for.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis and J. Yeah. For the boys. For the boys. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for checking us out. Enjoy it and we'll catch you next time on Story Wars. I'm big J. Okerson.

[Big J. Okerson]

I'm Louis J. Gomez. Peace.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Vrbo's last minute deals make chasing fresh.

[Big J. Okerson]

Mountain powder incredibly easy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

With thousands of homes close to the.

[Rich Voss]

Slop, you can get epic pow freshies.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First tracks and more. Find last minute deals with the last minute filter on the app. Book a private vacation rental [e-mail].