074. Steve-O, Dan Soder, H. Foley | Trouble

Summary

Story Warz Podcast — Episode 074: Steve-O, Dan Soder, H. Foley | "Trouble"

Date: January 2, 2026
Location: LIVE at Gramercy Theater, New York Comedy Festival
Panel: Hosts Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez, plus comedians Dan Soder, H. Foley, and special guest Steve-O

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Episode Overview

The largest-ever live episode of Story Warz takes place at the Gramercy Theater during the New York Comedy Festival. Hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez lead fellow comedians (Dan Soder, H. Foley, and Steve-O) in a riotous battle of deceptive storytelling. The theme for this game: "Trouble". Each contestant submits stories from their life related to getting into trouble—some are real, some are decoys. The group tries to deduce which panelist lived each tale, with points awarded for correct guesses and successful deceptions. The energy, the crowd, and the stories are all at peak hilarity for this milestone show.

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Table of Contents

• Episode Setup (00:15–06:16)
• How Story Warz Works (06:16–07:51)
• Panel Introductions & Banter (03:00–06:16)
• Key Stories & Game Highlights
  • Story 1: Trash Can Manhunt (11:34–19:19)
  • Story 2: Plane Scene & Smoking (23:01–30:51)
  • Story 3: The Great Bead Scandal (32:10–44:09)
  • Story 4: Kitchen Knife Meltdown (45:38–61:02)
  • Story 5: Show & Tell Disaster (66:49–77:58)
  • Story 6: Closet Hangover (83:07–88:05)
  • Story 7: Ratting Out the Bully (89:30–95:13)
  • Story 8: The Email Meltdown (97:16–109:22)
• Final Results & Closing Banter (109:34–111:52)
• Best Quotes & Memorable Moments

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<a name="setup"></a>

Episode Setup (00:15–06:16)

• Big Jay Okerson and Luis J. Gomez open with crowd work, marvel at the size of the near sell-out ("87% sold out"), and riff about respecting the theater.
• Quick orientation for new fans: "How the fuck are you here [if you don’t know the game]?" (02:08).
• The night’s theme is revealed: "Trouble."
  • Steve-O: "Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to compete in this category?" (06:18)
  • Quick jokes about Steve-O’s lifelong, legendary forays into trouble.

<a name="panel"></a>

Panel Introductions & Banter (03:00–06:16)

• H. Foley (Are You Garbage?) — relentlessly razzed as a returning competitor who’s “never won.”
  • "You look like you were both responsible for the 2008 housing crisis." (03:53)
• Dan Soder (Soder Podcast/ The Regs) — self-declared champion.
  • “I want back to back wins, and I want them right now.” (04:39)
  • Mock resentment: “The black people hate you.” – “Just the way God intended.” (04:50)
• Steve-O (Jackass) — iconic daredevil and wildcard.

<a name="rules"></a>

How Story Warz Works (06:16–07:51)

• Each contestant submitted 3-5 stories of “trouble."
• Stories are anonymized and read aloud by producer Alex; panel must bluff/detect whose story is whose.
• Points: 2 for correct guess, 1 per person fooled.
• Prize: Venus Williams’ Strive: 8 Steps to Find Your Awesome ("the Story Warrior book").

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<a name="stories"></a>

Key Stories & Game Highlights

1. Trash Can Manhunt — Big Jay Okerson

Segment: [11:34–19:19]
Story: As a kid, Jay tried to steal porn magazines, got caught, broke free, and hid terrified in a trash can for 45 minutes, convinced there was “a full manhunt” out for him.

• Panel guesses: All guess wrong (everyone thought Dan Soder).
• Jay reveals: “[The store owner] grabbed my arm… I just could have given them back. I wanted them so bad. So I broke free and I ran as fast as I could and I jumped into a fucking—like a shitty Oscar the Grouch trash can.”
• Laugh-out-loud moment: “I'll take the porn, leave the fat kid.” – Foley (19:04)
• Big Jay sweeps opening round: "It just earned me a clean sweep." (19:00)

2. Plane Scene & Smoking — Steve-O

Segment: [23:01–30:51]
Story: Steve-O once caused such a ruckus on a plane they made an announcement about him. He chain-smoked cigarettes mid-flight, put one out on his own hand for footage, hurled slurs at a flight attendant, and eventually got put on the Delta no-fly list.

• “I was just… chain smoking on a flight to spring break in Panama City.” (29:38)
• "I learned that as soon as you totally disregard the instructions of a flight attendant, then it is a federal crime." (30:02)
• Panel expected wild, but not that wild.

3. The Great Bead Scandal — Luis J. Gomez

Segment: [32:10–44:09]
Story: In middle school, Lewis ran a home-ec class business selling colored bead necklaces matching kids' nationalities (Italians, Puerto Ricans, Polish, etc.) As demand soared, teachers shut it down as "gang activity."

• Panel spends ten minutes dunking: “Out of everybody here, who would sell beads? C’mon.” (33:02)
• "Why would you get in trouble for selling beads?" – Lewis’s attempted misdirection, which actually convinced some panelists.
• Steve-O after the reveal: “You’re a gnarly liar. You have no integrity!” (38:55)

4. Kitchen Knife Meltdown — H. Foley

Segment: [45:38–61:02]
Story: In high school, Foley calls his girlfriend and a guy answers, claiming she's "sucking his dick." Foley, in jealous rage, grabs a kitchen knife and drives over—ending with police, an adult intervention, and a night in the psych ward.

• “Her body was retarded. And I was madly in love.” (59:10)
• "I was kind of a loose cannon... I just calmly walked downstairs...grabbed a kitchen knife and...drove over." (56:00)
• Emotional rollercoaster as Foley relives, justifying—but ultimately, “been sober and different since.”

5. Show & Tell Disaster — Steve-O

Segment: [66:49–77:58]
Story: 9-year-old Steve-O invites the class to hear about movies shown to him by a shady handyman—in particular, cult rape-revenge horror I Spit On Your Grave. Parent notification ensued.

• “No parent wants to get a phone call that their 9-year-old boy brought to class that there’s a handyman…sending your son up…with videotapes…[like] I Spit on Your Grave.” (73:50)
• “30 minutes are devoted to graphic gang rape. Okay, and she gets repeatedly—” (75:08)
• Alex, host, and panel are briefly speechless at the 1970s-level trauma.

6. Closet Hangover — Dan Soder

Segment: [83:07–88:05]
Story: As a Bed Bath & Beyond employee, Dan slept off a hangover in a pillow closet, got caught, and only earned a write-up.

• “I got caught sleeping in the pillow closet at Bed Bath & Beyond … under a pile of pillows. Felt worth it.” (86:51)
• “What else is there to tell?” – The shortest story for “trouble” but everyone riffs on the nap space.

7. Ratting Out the Bully — Big Jay Okerson

Segment: [89:30–95:13]
Story: Jay is caught cutting school, and blames a kid he doesn’t like ("Avi Lazar"), falsely claiming bullying. The innocent kid gets in trouble; Jay skates by.

• “There was a kid I didn’t like named Avi Lazar… so I just said, ‘Oh, it’s Avi Lazar.’ He got in all kinds of trouble…” (93:05)
• Panel accuses Jay of being a “dirty rat.”

8. The Email Meltdown — Steve-O

Segment: [97:16–109:22]
Story: Drugs, fame, and spiraling mental health lead Steve-O to send chaotic, threatening emails to a 200-strong list of industry contacts. His “24 hours to do the stunt or I’ll jump anyway” plea prompts Johnny Knoxville and crew to stage an intervention and have him committed.

• “I had this email list with like 200 of the most fucking influential people… I was broadcasting my downward spiral in real time.” (105:28)
• “That counted as me demonstrating that I was harmful to myself or others. Knoxville wrote back… Sheesh. Can't we make it noon?” (108:19)
• Steve-O: "I've been clean and sober ever since. 17 years." (109:22)
• Emotional, hilarious, and poignant.

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<a name="finale"></a>

Final Results & Closing (109:34–111:52)

• Final Scores:

  • Winner: Steve-O (21 points) — “Your newest Story Warrior!”
  • 2nd: Big Jay Okerson (20)
  • 3rd: Dan Soder (16)
  • 4th: Luis J. Gomez (14)
  • 5th: H. Foley (10)

• Steve-O receives Venus Williams' Strive, signed by all.

• Big Jay (in suit) is crestfallen; Foley jokes, “You two look real stupid in those suits now, don't you?" (111:06)

• Thunderous applause for the panel.

• Crowd, hosts, and guests all bask in perhaps the wildest Story Warz yet.

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<a name="quotes"></a>

Best Quotes & Memorable Moments

On The Theme

• Steve-O: “Dude, how the fuck am I supposed to compete in this category [Trouble]?” (06:18)
• Dan Soder: “How are we supposed to compete with you?” (06:23)

Banter & Classic Burns

• H. Foley (to Jay & Lewis): “You two look like you were both responsible for the 2008 housing crisis.” (03:53)
• Dan Soder: “You’re gnarly. Like, this game is more important to you than anybody thinking you’re a pussy.” (36:24)
• Big Jay (on sleeping in pillow closet): “Dude, do I have to spell it out? Pillow closet.” (87:27)

About Stories

• Steve-O: "I was just… chain smoking on a flight to spring break in Panama City.” (29:38)
• Big Jay (childhood porn heist): "I'm panicking, I was gonna get caught. But, you know, I got those porns, though." (18:29)
• H. Foley (kitchen knife): “She was just out for a run one day...I called over there, and this guy says, ‘yeah, she can’t right now, she’s sucking my dick.’” (55:24)

Meta-game Analysis

• Steve-O (strategy): "Here's why it's not Lewis, because he's made a distinct effort to craft his entries in a way that throws us off his scent." (48:44)
• Big Jay (on friendship): “Week after week, I’m a fool for keep coming back. Why do I never leave?” (39:36)

Emotional Beats

• Steve-O (intervention): “Knoxville and those men saved my fucking goddamn life. And that was over 17 years ago. I’ve been clean and sober ever since.” (109:22)

The Show’s Climax

• Luis J. Gomez: “This is a huge night in Story wars history. The biggest show we’ve ever done. Big J holding onto the lead since story number one...now Steve-O comes from behind…” (79:09, 96:43)

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Conclusion

This was the rowdiest and most heartfelt episode of Story Warz to date. Every comic brought their biggest trouble but Steve-O — with stories at the far edges of wildness and redemption — triumphed as the new Story Warrior. The game show format, personal revelations, and relentless jokes make this a must-listen for fans of honest, unfiltered comedy storytelling.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Ad Host 1]

Fill her up.

[Henry Foley]

You're listening to the gas digital network.

[Big J Okerson]

Ladies and gentlemen, live from Gramercy Theater.

[Dan Soder]

At Story wars with the Story Warriors, Big J. Okerson and Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

What is up, New York City Comedy Festival.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow, look at this. Gramercy Theater. 87% sold out.

[Big J Okerson]

So close. So. So. Just not enough to get it up on that sign. Damn. Thank you so much being here for Story wars at the Gramercy Theater. Make some noise in here for me, would you, please?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is officially the biggest Story War shows that we have ever done, and I'll tell you right now, we're very happy. We're right here in New York City, which is our home of Story wars, where we. We came up with Story Wars. We love this place. Gramercy Theater is a legendary place. We dressed up for the occasion.

[Big J Okerson]

We dressed up. One thing you could always say about Lewis and I, we respect the theater. And where is our. Our lovely crew who also respects the theater?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where are they?

[Big J Okerson]

Where the fuck is our goddamn crew?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, they're up there.

[Dan Soder]

They're up there.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at me, Alex, and G, Mike, all dressed up for the occasion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

This is going to be a very big night. We're all so excited for the theater because we respect it. Now, we always ask this every Story wars audience. How many people here are familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And is there anyone here that is not familiar with Story Wars? How the fuck are you here?

[Big J Okerson]

Front row. Damn, that's strange as shit. Well, I promise you, after we get our esteemed panel up here, we are going to explain this game to you. It's very easy, it's very, very fun. But what do you say we get our contestants up here, huh? We got a good panel up here, so you should make some more noise than that. This place is 87% full. Can we hear some noise? Are you ready to meet the panel?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There we go.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was 77% of you.

[Big J Okerson]

77%. 87% sucks. It's like 11 people. Get your fucking heads out. You know how comfortable I am in this suit? I'm so uncomfortable in this suit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I was comfortable standing up and walking around, but now that I'm sitting.

[Big J Okerson]

Down, I'm like, ah, I'm fat. I feel everything squeezing my buttons. Gonna stay. Ah, look how stiff I'm being. Hey, our first contestant coming to the stage, you know him and love him from the Are you Garbage? Podcast. Makes some noise right now from Philadelphia, Mr. H. Foley.

[Henry Foley]

What's going on, gang?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's going On Foley.

[Henry Foley]

Great to be here at the Gramercy Theater Story Awards. We're so excited. Make some fucking noise.

[Big J Okerson]

So excited, Foley.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A returning Story wars competitor never won, though.

[Henry Foley]

You talking to me, dickhead? You two look like you were both responsible for the 2008 housing crisis. Yeah, man. You know, I signed a stripper to a fucking $700,000 house. Yeah, that's right. I never won.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your second competitor is a returning Story wars champion. You know him from the Sodor Po Podcast and one fourth of the regs. Clap it up for Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

Holy. I want back to back wins, and I want them right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You want to repeat these white people love you, Dan.

[Dan Soder]

Look at them.

[Big J Okerson]

The black people hate you.

[Dan Soder]

Just the way God intended.

[Big J Okerson]

Last but certainly not least, your third contestant tonight. I think you might recognize him from the show the Films of Jackass. How about it for Steve O in the house?

[Steve O]

Yeah, dude.

[Dan Soder]

Hell yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See?

[Dan Soder]

Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

How bad? How talent, you guys. The white roots. I know you can't see them on.

[Henry Foley]

Camera usually.

[Big J Okerson]

But the white roots.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Give it up for the white roots.

[Big J Okerson]

Philadelphia's own white roots.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They learned the Jackass theme. That was great.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Foley]

Fantastic.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. Oh, boy. What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't take much to impress us. We're stoned. We're like, well, they learned the Jackass.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, dude, that guy can play the bass guitar. Thank you all for joining us. If this is your first time seeing Story wars is your first time listening at home. It's a very, very simple and fun game. All five of us on this panel, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, Louis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Trouble.

[Steve O]

Dude, how the am I supposed to compete in this category?

[Dan Soder]

How are we supposed to compete with you?

[Big J Okerson]

Are you talking about old Buy the book, Steve O.

[Henry Foley]

Somebody get me a staple gun, quick.

[Dan Soder]

You're gonna know it's me because it's gonna be like one time I forged a signature on a permission slip. Steve O's like, mine's a felony in Tennessee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One time, my penis was bitten off by an All Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, if a cocaine condom breaks in your. They still arrest you. I forget where I'm at in the description.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's all right.

[Big J Okerson]

All five of us. All five stories. Yeah. On Trouble. Now our lovely producer Alex is going to read eight of those stories.

[Steve O]

You know, what can I say?

[Big J Okerson]

Eight of those stories, one at a time, it's going to pop up on the screen. If it's your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to make other people think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to figure out whose story it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every time you guess correctly, you get two points. Every time you fool a person on the panel, you get one point for every person you fool. That means every time it's your story, you have an opportunity to get four points. It's a very big opportunity. Once you write the name on the dry erase board, put the dry erase board in the slot right here and remove your hand.

[Dan Soder]

That's it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is your final answer. You can't change it. And I'll tell you right now, this is a lot of fun. These new people, this game is so much fun. You're gonna have so much fun tonight, but we playing for fun. Jay, let him know what we're playing for.

[Big J Okerson]

Every week on Story wars, we are playing from a book from the Story wars library. Tonight's winner, the Story warrior, will take home Strive eight steps to find you're awesome by Venus Williams. Strive begins with Venus Williams redefining training as more than physical. It's a mindset. She breaks success into eight steps built on discipline, preparation, and daily consistency, showing how small habits can shape big wins.

[Dan Soder]

You guys look like you coach the prison basketball team, because I know if.

[Big J Okerson]

Those guys start believing in themselves, they'll be able to reintegrate.

[Dan Soder]

You gotta win up here before you win out there.

[Big J Okerson]

But when are you gonna slam dunk your mind, son?

[Steve O]

How many episodes of this have there been?

[Big J Okerson]

There's the third.

[Steve O]

Nah, nah, but I mean, seriously, like, 70. Every single fucking episode. You gotta book three guests. Nightmare. And you gotta come up with all these stories. This is like the most that we.

[Big J Okerson]

Don'T know about each other.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. We've been podcasting together for a decade and a half.

[Steve O]

Yeah. This is the most daunting show anybody's ever undertaken.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you think this is the most daunting show when you did Jackass for two decades?

[Steve O]

It's not daunting.

[Big J Okerson]

This is more daunting than hang a steak out of my asshole high wiring over alligators. You were human bait for a shark, Steve O.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You said the most daunting show that you've ever been a part of.

[Steve O]

For you guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Steve O]

It's easy for me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Easy shit for you.

[Steve O]

I'm stoked to be here. You guys are the ones that have to book three fucking guests every episode and come up with five new stuff.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, we don't do it Lewis screams and yells at Alex.

[Steve O]

Anyway, kudos to you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex almost never books any guests. I book all the guests, and I scream and yell at everybody that nobody helps me and that I don't get paid more than you.

[Henry Foley]

Alex booked me on the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn.

[Henry Foley]

Never trust a guy in a suit. Am I right? Suit, suit, suit, suit, suits. These guys are the enemy.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I take a moment and talk about how fantastic Foley's hair is?

[Dan Soder]

Look at that.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you see the little go flop? The flop, the lay, the layers lay?

[Dan Soder]

I would say it's DEP 95.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely. Dude. You're watching your friend die outside the Viper Room with that hair. A real twitchy, shaky one.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah. Doing what's Eating Gilbert Grape next month. All right. That wasn't great.

[Big J Okerson]

It was fantastic. I think everyone that understands gonna understand it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think so.

[Big J Okerson]

If you don't, you'll pick it up as it happens. Is the Gramercy Theater ready for war? Come on. Is the Gramercy Theater ready for. Alexandra? Without any further ado, story number one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that Sledgehammer?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number one, White Roots. I was caught stealing as a kid. I broke free and ran away from the store. I believed there was a full manhunt out for me and hid in a trash can for 45 minutes.

[Big J Okerson]

Whoa.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Here's what I've noticed playing Story Wars. Every time you read a story, your immediate reaction is Louis. And then you need to do, like, three layers of detective critical thinking. Even if it does sound like Louis.

[Henry Foley]

I would have to assume, and I say this respectfully, that if it was Lewis, instead of saying trash can, he would have just said my house.

[Big J Okerson]

It's true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's true. Now I know it's not Foley. Cause he wouldn't fit in a trash can.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, if I was in a dumpster.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I hid in a garbage truck.

[Dan Soder]

I was in a garage.

[Henry Foley]

I still got stuck.

[Dan Soder]

I also, I don't think it's Jay, because Jay, I couldn't see him hiding.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In a trash can.

[Dan Soder]

You don't like filthy or stealing.

[Steve O]

I. I legitimately got caught stealing when I was a kid, and I was like, ah, man, you got me.

[Big J Okerson]

Just gave up right away.

[Steve O]

Yeah, I didn't run at all.

[Dan Soder]

You did it for the punishment? Not.

[Steve O]

Well, I did it in front of a. Like, there was these slats so that they can, like, you know, I was, like, a foot away from the guy watching me do it.

[Dan Soder]

Damn.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn.

[Henry Foley]

What about.

[Big J Okerson]

So it's just Lewis.

[Henry Foley]

What about Mr. Soder?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he is pushing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're the nice kid.

[Henry Foley]

Pushing the narrative.

[Dan Soder]

My head can't fit in a trash can.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The. The end of this. I believe there was a full man hunt out for me. And hit a trash can for 45 minutes. That's, like, a nice boy thing for me. I'm like. I'm just saying, shoot me to the cops. I'm, like, saying, let's go. I'm ready to go.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Suicide by cop. I bet you won't.

[Dan Soder]

All right. I'm doing it before puberty.

[Big J Okerson]

Kill a boy and go home and look your family in the eyes.

[Dan Soder]

Dan the gun. Do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Go on. Do me the favor.

[Dan Soder]

I want to meet. I want to meet Santa in summer.

[Henry Foley]

That's a tough one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dan's a nice boy.

[Big J Okerson]

Dan's being hilarious. He's throwing us all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I didn't. I was. I wasn't getting caught stealing. I was good at stealing, but Dan.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, respectfully, wasn't me.

[Henry Foley]

Broken home.

[Dan Soder]

Broken.

[Henry Foley]

Broken home. Probably want some attention. Stealing, hoping that somebody would look for you because your dad wasn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Aw. That's why.

[Dan Soder]

I wouldn't think there's a manhunt. Three missed birthdays. You go. No one really gives a. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

There's no taking this old, sad, sick.

[Dan Soder]

I go. The postal service can't lose this many birthday cards. I think it's Lewis because I think he had to earn his shell. And he was once a sweet, soft boy. Afraid of a manhunt.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, Never. I was stealing very young, not really afraid of getting caught. My mom gave me great excuses. She was like, if you ever get caught, just tell him it's my birthday. Fuck.

[Dan Soder]

I do remember that. That is true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn. I think it's Dan now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's Dan.

[Dan Soder]

No. That's what the killer wants you to think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

H. Foley puts the first vote in for Dan Soder. H. Foley, why are you saying Dan Soder before we start voting?

[Henry Foley]

I don't know. I really don't know.

[Dan Soder]

You don't know.

[Henry Foley]

You convinced me that it wasn't you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Henry Foley]

I don't think it was Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's.

[Henry Foley]

I don't think Steve O. Knows what's going on.

[Dan Soder]

This feels like a thriller wherever where I've been framed.

[Henry Foley]

And Dan out of the gate was very.

[Dan Soder]

I like the game. I get excited.

[Henry Foley]

Was projected a lot and was very defensive and pointed.

[Dan Soder]

The other thing, why is it.

[Big J Okerson]

Because you threw it over to Louis is the only reason I think it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm telling you, it's Luke now everyone is voting for Dan. Everyone votes for Dan. If this was me, this was a brilliant, masterful move by me. I just dominated the panel. But it wasn't me. I do think it was Dan. He looks bummed out. It wasn't me then. Then just mouthed, it wasn't me.

[Dan Soder]

Go ahead, Alex, clear my name.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number one belongs to Big J.

[Dan Soder]

A pox. A pox on all your households. I'm gonna Freddy Krueger, every one of you.

[Henry Foley]

This commission owns Dan Soder and apology Senator.

[Big J Okerson]

The biggest night of the year.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This was it.

[Dan Soder]

It was huge.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Opening up with a. A perfect opening round. Jay, what. Who. What was going on here? What were you stealing when you were a kid?

[Big J Okerson]

Porn magazines.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Porn magazines.

[Big J Okerson]

I was in.

[Dan Soder]

Of course.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We all should have known.

[Dan Soder]

Very on brand.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Drugstore around the corner from our apartment. I went in there and I learned kind of the guy was like an old man who ran the place. It was like a real pharmacy. It wasn't like a cvs Small, had candy, had magazines. And the porns were just in that rack. It wasn't like hidden behind anything a little higher, but, like. And this old man. So I learned once in a while, you pop in there, if he's running around in the back, you could slide one in your front of your pants, pull a shirt over it and start it right there. Yeah, just use it. Use it and then get the. Out of there. But no. So I would go. And I just got overzealous one night, and I popped, like, three in there in the front.

[Dan Soder]

Do you remember what they were?

[Big J Okerson]

No, but he. The guy goes. He was. You could tell he was, like, baiting me. He was, like, doing. He was giving him. Me time to do it because he saw it was hanging out way too long. I wasn't good at this. And I'm just milling around, waiting, and then I just grab three, put him in my shirt. He comes out from behind the thing, and he goes, young man, he goes, put those back right now. And he goes. And he, like, grabbed my arm. He goes, put those back right now. And I won't call the cops. And I just could have given them back. I wanted them so bad. So I broke free and I ran as fast as I could, and I jumped into a fucking. I mean, like a shitty Oscar the Grouch trash can for 45 minutes. I'm panicking. I was gonna get caught. But, you know, I got those porns, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you did, did you?

[Dan Soder]

Can I ask you a question? Did you look at the porn in the trash can?

[Big J Okerson]

I couldn't. No. I was bunched and let me tell you something, my little belly squish where the things were made the bottoms of those pages unpleasant.

[Dan Soder]

No fear. No fear of the. With can opening and no one looking and just putting a bag of trash on top of you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What an embarrassing thing to get caught shoplifting now.

[Big J Okerson]

It just earned me a clean sweep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, damn.

[Big J Okerson]

Worth it?

[Dan Soder]

Worth it.

[Henry Foley]

That'd be funny if someone did open the trash can. They just look and like, oh, that's a shame. They threw this fat kid out.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, look, but he's holding porn.

[Henry Foley]

I'll take that.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you take the porn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Leave the fat kid one story down. Alex, where are our points at?

[Henry Foley]

Masterful.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right. On the scoreboard, all alone in first place with four points, Big J Okerson.

[Steve O]

You call that a grand slam, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah. That was a good round. That was a good round.

[Dan Soder]

You get frustrated because you realize they're good at the game.

[Big J Okerson]

I've won six times out of 100 shows.

[Dan Soder]

Don't let math fool you.

[Steve O]

He didn't do anything.

[Big J Okerson]

I almost did nothing. That was lucky.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, story warriors, let's take a quick moment and thank Body Brain Coffee for supporting today's show. Body Brain Coffee is a company that I started about a year ago and it has really been killing it. Very simple concept to understand. Everyone drinks a cup of coffee a day at least. And guess what? We made a cup of coffee that is better than just coffee. It's five ingredients that naturally support testosterone and brain function and mood. And it genuinely just makes me feel great. I've been drinking it literally every single day. I drink one cup every single morning when I get up. You can drink it hot, cold. You can blend it into a protein shake however you like it. But it's premium freeze dried Colombian coffee. And then it's blended with lion's mane, which supports brain function Ashwagandha, which really lifts your mood. L theanine, which, which evens out the jittery coffee experience. And then the star ingredient, the secret ingredients which really separates it from all the other mushroom coffees out there, is it is also blended with Tonkat Ali.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. Jay got nervous.

[Big J Okerson]

Tomcat Ali.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he's not here. He's not here. He's in the coffee.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a second. I thought I killed him back in Taiwan. Is this Tonka Ali Jr coming to get revenge?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do a little research and see what Tonka Ali could do for you. But it's. It naturally supports testosterone, energy, virility. It was used as Viagra for years.

[Big J Okerson]

It'll help you grow A ponytail on the top of your head that's braided.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was used as a natural alternative to Viagra for years. It's just genuinely a great product overall. But it's real coffee, so it tastes like coffee. It really is great. Go give it a try. We're gonna give you 20 off with the promo code [e-mail] bodybraincoffee.com use that promo code WAR20 to save 20 off. All right, sorry, Warriors. Let's take a quick moment and thank Bubs Naturals for supporting the show. Bubs Naturals is a great company that has great products that makes you feel great. There are collagen peptides. They will help you turn back the clock. I take collagen peptides, which are great for your joints, great for your skin hair.

[Big J Okerson]

We're the right market for this.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's actually great. My knees. I started doing jiu jitsu again because I started doing pepcides.

[Big J Okerson]

You start doing jiu jitsu again because you're empty inside. Well, I also want to help you do that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I like feeling men's bodies on you.

[Big J Okerson]

Like having guys pressed on you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Press hard in between.

[Big J Okerson]

Usable theater, but this helps with both. It's third party, lab tested, NSF certified and Whole 30 approved. The products are clean, trustworthy, and sustainably sourced.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

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[Big J Okerson]

Literally. As soon as you're done, go turn your clock back. No one can stop you. Live better, longer. And for a limited time, Story wars fans are getting 20% off at Bubs Naturals by using Code wars at checkout. All you have to do is head over to Bubsnaturals.com that's B U B S naturals.com use the code wars with a Z Warz. You're all set. After your purchase, they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Don't up. Make sure you tell them story War sent you. That helps us out over here. One more time, it's BubsNatural.com Code Wars. You're all set. All right, where were we?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, Story number two.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number two. I once caused such a scene on A plane that they made an announcement about me.

[Big J Okerson]

Could this not be Steve O. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean all of us.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know, Louis, you're the only one that can contend with Steve O. On this one.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, on this one it's Louis or.

[Steve O]

Yeah, I don't know, man. This Foley guy.

[Henry Foley]

What do you mean you're out of cookies?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not buying two tickets.

[Henry Foley]

I'm not eating.

[Big J Okerson]

It's fucking ridiculous. It's uncomfortable. All live. We're going to Florida. We're not going to Egypt.

[Henry Foley]

A kosher meal. Let me talk to the pilot now.

[Big J Okerson]

I see grill marks on this chicken, yet I see no grill.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've caused no scenes on planes. I've caused. I've caused plenty of scenes. Not on planes. Once you. You can't around on planes.

[Henry Foley]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They'll stop you from flying.

[Dan Soder]

I just know this is how like wolves know it's tainted meat. That's such a. Louis knows what really can affect them. He's like, stay away from that one.

[Big J Okerson]

No way. It's Louis, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What? Have you ever heard about me making a scene on a plane?

[Dan Soder]

Every step of your life you've made a scene.

[Big J Okerson]

I know I have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, never.

[Big J Okerson]

I. You had something a while back where a lady was trying to get off the plane to catch her next or she was stopping you from getting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I made a scene off the plane. It started on the plane. It was in it.

[Henry Foley]

Shut the fuck up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was an incident.

[Dan Soder]

No, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was an incident that was on her. What is the. The thing called the jet bridge. Yes, we. I had an incident on the jet bridge. That's not on an airplane. That is on a jet bridge.

[Dan Soder]

FAA feels different. I think you can still get banned.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, it does. Listen, I want this to be Lewis, but at the same time, it does seem like. Guys, sorry, we apologize. Steve O Shooting firecrackers out of his.

[Dan Soder]

In the bathroom.

[Steve O]

I mean, I think I could do better than that.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you are right. I don't. I don't know if you just a scene. I don't know. I do feel like that is a story someone tells when they're like, ever tell you story about when Steve O.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Made an incident on the plane? I was like, yeah, it is very vanilla, Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm telling you, the quiet. The sleeper here is going to be Foley.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Foley is a sick. Every time he comes on the show, we learn crazy about Foley. Foley's a absolute caged animal.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you afraid of flying?

[Henry Foley]

No, I'm praying for a crash. That would be the best situation. It really is for all parties involved.

[Big J Okerson]

Out of your hands. Right. I get that.

[Henry Foley]

I get that. He just turned his life around. He was on the Zepbound. And then this.

[Steve O]

It is the best way you could possibly go. You know, filled with adrenaline. You've got long enough to think your last thought deliberately, but not so long that you're dwelling on it. It's all the excitement. You're done.

[Henry Foley]

I just meant for the insurance money. That part's gonna suck.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like my last thought would be like, I wonder if I jump right when we hit if I'll be all right.

[Dan Soder]

Surf this thing down.

[Big J Okerson]

There's been just like, miss the crash. Yes.

[Dan Soder]

Like, there's one survivor.

[Big J Okerson]

And I go, I have survivors remorse. Because I'm like, I should have told everybody to jump. Everyone was like, freaking out and praying about their families or whatever, but I was like. Like, I think if I jump at. Right at the end of this, I'll be okay.

[Dan Soder]

See, here's the thing. It's an announcement. Is the reason I don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

An announcement.

[Henry Foley]

Stevo would have been let off the plane.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve O's like. Steve O went through such a crazy time in his life that he would be the only one who would cause a scene on an airplane. That's a crazy thing to do. Causing a scene. An airplane. Like you're wristing. Never flying again. I'm pretty sure Stevo was on a like a no fly list for a hot minute in his career. Am I making that up?

[Steve O]

I.

[Henry Foley]

Naughty. Why are you bringing up old Jesus Christ, Steve? Oh, you were in Al Qaeda, right?

[Big J Okerson]

No torture necessary.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God. The law firm of Gomez, Hilkerson and Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

We don't get paid until we get to the bottom of your story.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

H. Foley says it's me.

[Ad Host 1]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dan Soder says Steve O. Steve O. Voting last. He writes Lewis. Me.

[Big J Okerson]

It might be Lewis. Could be Foley now, though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All of our answers are in Alex two stories down.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number two belongs to Steve O.

[Steve O]

God damn it.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Fuck.

[Dan Soder]

Lewis got you with the question.

[Steve O]

I tried so hard to mellow out all my one sentences, buddy.

[Henry Foley]

That was a great fucking job.

[Steve O]

Well, thanks. I really tried it now. It was a long time ago. It was before I got sober, of course. It was also after 9 11. And it just. It got in my head that at the beginning of every flight and to this day, they say verbatim, this is a non smoking flight. And federal law prohibits tampering with the smoke detector in the bathroom. They never said federal Law prohibited tampering with a cigarette in your seat. So from that I deduced that I might get in a little bit of trouble for smoking in my seat, but it's not a federal crime, and that it would be worth the footage. So I had my guy filming me and I fired it up in the flight attendant said, hey man, you gotta put that out. I said, ah, yeah. And I put it out on my flesh to make the footage even cooler. And then I lit up another one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn.

[Steve O]

And I was just straight chain smoking on a flight to spring break in Panama City.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve O. Like, that story's so cool. Before I owned a house, and now I'm like, that guy's a menace. He should be taken off the airplane.

[Dan Soder]

I just fly too much.

[Big J Okerson]

So I hear that.

[Dan Soder]

I go, that delayed that flight a long time.

[Steve O]

You know, they. What I learned is that as soon as you totally disregard the instructions of a flight attendant, then it is a federal crime.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Steve O]

And I was hurling. I'm not proud of this. I hurled homophobic slur. I was, I was. Which one?

[Henry Foley]

I don't think it was lesbo.

[Steve O]

I definitely. I definitely got fined to $10,000 and I was absolutely on Delta's no fly list.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, no.

[Steve O]

For what I believe is decades, but I've since cleared my name, I'm welcome on Delta and I fucking.

[Big J Okerson]

Sky Priority Diamond Elite.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at? Two stories down.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right. In very last place with zero points, Henry Foley.

[Henry Foley]

All right, take it easy.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In fourth place with one point, Steve O.

[Steve O]

How did I get a point?

[Dan Soder]

Cuz you trick. You tricked someone.

[Steve O]

You fooled F. Oh, sick man. Thanks.

[Henry Foley]

Get my ass kicked.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Tied for second place with two points each, Lewis J. Gomez and Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

The regs.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

And with an early lead with six points, Big J Okerson.

[Steve O]

Six. I thought he had five.

[Dan Soder]

Five right now with the lead barely. Maybe for another minute.

[Big J Okerson]

That did make me feel great. The way she said it. Hold by a thread. Alex, story number three.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number three. In middle school, I got in trouble for trying to sell beads to my classmates.

[Dan Soder]

Foley, he's a. He's a pushing wares kind of guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Beads.

[Henry Foley]

You can wear this right from lunch to recess.

[Big J Okerson]

This has Lewis all over it, too. The guy's constantly saying beads.

[Henry Foley]

Sure, okay.

[Dan Soder]

No, Lewis by sixth grade was like catalytic converters.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at Lewis's acting right now.

[Dan Soder]

B.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that what the word is? Beats.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, now you could. Now you could sell those. How would you sell them?

[Big J Okerson]

What would you put? Would you like. Oh, I guess maybe bracelets or something.

[Steve O]

Anal beads.

[Dan Soder]

That's Jay's story. If it is.

[Big J Okerson]

If it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, what type of beads would it be? I can't wrap my head around like. Like, hippie beads.

[Henry Foley]

Louis. Talk about a tell.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, Jesus Christ.

[Dan Soder]

Just soup to nuts. How do you do?

[Big J Okerson]

Why would you sell beads so beads?

[Henry Foley]

Like community theater. Gomez, over here.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Holy.

[Steve O]

I can tell by the look on your face, and I caught myself thinking, man, right now we are hotly debating who's the biggest pussy on this panel. And then I realized that that's Lewis trying to throw us off at the scent. Because there's a lot of things Lewis is, and pussy is not one of them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you, Steve O. What a king.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but he would definitely sell beads to his classmates.

[Steve O]

Yeah, he's like, what? What would make me seem like. Like, what would a pussy do?

[Dan Soder]

That's true. He's gonna try to throw that up. Like, he. Knowing Lewis, he stole the beads from the art class and then flipped them on the playground.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis is all goosed up on theater.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you doing?

[Steve O]

Oh, yeah, I think we got you, buddy.

[Dan Soder]

Steve o'. Conn. Too quick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you doing?

[Dan Soder]

I think he's right.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree with him.

[Dan Soder]

I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Listen to me. I'm going to say right now, I've sold a lot of things in my life. I've never sold beads to anybody. I don't know what the this is.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, then we'll just move on from you.

[Dan Soder]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

He said it twice. He said twice. It wasn't him. What the Christ fell off Lewis?

[Steve O]

You look great right now, by the way.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, thanks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I appreciate. I appreciate that. A lot of. Just a lot of bead work in my.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know what.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't. You have an older sister that would have beads?

[Henry Foley]

Whoa. Good call.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you made bracelets and sold them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shout out, Janice Gomez, right in the crowd, right there. Shout out, Janisi.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you have beads growing up?

[Steve O]

This is me, Jenny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you have beads? Did I have beads? Did I get in trouble? Tell the truth right now. Did I ever get in trouble for selling beads in school? Be truthful. That she can recall. No. Thank you, Jenny.

[Big J Okerson]

She thinks it's you.

[Dan Soder]

God, you really are.

[Big J Okerson]

She thinks it's him.

[Dan Soder]

You guys are really dressed like you're defending yourselves in court.

[Big J Okerson]

No. Habeas corpus.

[Dan Soder]

Put the system on trial.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm telling you right now. You're giving somebody else all these points.

[Dan Soder]

I think it's H. Foley.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know what this. This even be.

[Big J Okerson]

It could Be that crazy. Over the top, lies, makes.

[Dan Soder]

But no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the type of beads would somebody sell? I'm not even it if it's me.

[Big J Okerson]

Beads, man.

[Henry Foley]

Beads.

[Big J Okerson]

What are you not getting? The only thing people do with beads.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't even look at no other use, by the way. I didn't even look at Jay. Started jingling. Jay's covered in him.

[Steve O]

Went wet head.

[Dan Soder]

Wait a minute. Yeah, we never.

[Henry Foley]

Jay.

[Dan Soder]

Jay's lousy with beads.

[Henry Foley]

Jay, who sold you those beads? Was it Lewis?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm spilling over. Beat Lewis. You sold me the two ones on the outside.

[Dan Soder]

Jay's like the BTK killer. He's rubbing it in our face.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Now.

[Steve O]

I'm starting to think that Lewis is just so aggressively doubling down that I'm like, man, I don't even think he wants to be known as such a girly liar. Can I change my answer?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you can't change it. I want you to change it, but you can't change it.

[Big J Okerson]

Who do you think?

[Steve O]

If it's you, you're gnarly.

[Dan Soder]

Thank you.

[Steve O]

If it's you, you're gnarly. Like, this game is more important to you than anybody thinking you're.

[Dan Soder]

I want it to be Louis so bad.

[Big J Okerson]

If it's you, you should get the same tattoo on your back as Steve O of Steve O. But instead of saying, yeah, dude, I rule, have it say you're gnarly.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, Foley, you're being a little bit quiet over here. What's going on?

[Henry Foley]

I'm blowing it over here. I'm over, too. I'm trying to read you guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe it's Foley.

[Dan Soder]

It's Foley.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can't imagine Foley selling beads. This is psychotic.

[Henry Foley]

I can't imagine.

[Dan Soder]

I can't imagine you selling beads.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I can't.

[Dan Soder]

I can imagine you buying beads, you fag.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, was that the word?

[Henry Foley]

Listen, it's not. It's not. If it's anybody but Lewis, they're a pussy. Lewis is a businessman. He looks. He looks at what the demand is in the market, and it doesn't matter whether it's beads, dildos, or catalytic converters.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why would you get in trouble for selling beads?

[Dan Soder]

Look what we did in Q3 with beads.

[Steve O]

Oh, now he says, why would you. You get in trouble for selling beads? It was Louis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, I feel. But I. I told you every story.

[Henry Foley]

Like, a sneaky.

[Dan Soder]

Jay seems to be on the consumer side.

[Henry Foley]

He's an end user.

[Big J Okerson]

I am.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm about to sell. Maybe Jay got caught in a bead selling Pyramid scheme. And now he's just got, like, a.

[Dan Soder]

Garage full of beads. Bob, you don't understand. I got a. All the beads I need.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, they told me the best thing to do was to have inventory, but.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but then you never get high on your own supply, so I think.

[Big J Okerson]

Are those tigers?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why are you being so quiet right now?

[Big J Okerson]

Me?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you.

[Henry Foley]

I'm being quiet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the.

[Dan Soder]

I'm hanging around the bank. Why am I. Yeah, it's Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

It better be, because that's what I'm saying, too. But it really could be Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it's Lewis, I'm glad a few people said Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, everybody's in.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number three belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Henry Foley]

What's a beat?

[Dan Soder]

You're gnarly.

[Steve O]

You're a gnarly liar. You have no integrity.

[Henry Foley]

Let me tell you where you went wrong.

[Steve O]

You're a bad person.

[Henry Foley]

Let me tell. You went wrong, Mr. Gomez. You did too much. Your sister gave everything. She gave it up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you know about the beads? Do you remember the beads? Yes. You remember the beads?

[Dan Soder]

Well, it was who we thought he was.

[Henry Foley]

Why'd you get in trouble?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So in the seventh grade, I wanna.

[Big J Okerson]

Say I laid it out that it was for the first two minutes that it was definitely Louis. And then you didn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Then you changed your mind for no reason.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't tell the story. I got a vent that hurts so much. I've done this a million times. I tell everybody else why it's definitely Louis, and then somehow vote different. Cause I wanna believe my friend wouldn't do this to me. Week after week. I'm a fool for keep coming back. Why do I never leave?

[Steve O]

He goes, beads.

[Big J Okerson]

Beats. What do you even do with beads?

[Dan Soder]

Where would you even set up shop?

[Henry Foley]

I don't have a kiosk or anything.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, I need to go full professional on them.

[Dan Soder]

You don't go brick and mortar for beads.

[Henry Foley]

It's all online these days. You save money and so does the consumer.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, the pizza direct the consumer.

[Steve O]

The giveaway was, why would you get in trouble for selling beats?

[Dan Soder]

So that was in the 70s. Called it like the old man in a horror movie. That's like, don't go down that road. Shut up, you crazy old man. And it was Louis the whole time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In the seventh grade, we had to do, like, a business. Like, the class had to choose a business for, like, Home EC or whatever it was. Like, like, usually everyone's, like, selling, like, candy bars or whatever it was. And we. You voted on it as a class. In our class, it was my idea. This was during a time. This is 12 years old. So this is 1994. This was a time. If you remember 1994, the bead market was hot.

[Dan Soder]

It led to Beanie Babies. Everything was beanie.

[Big J Okerson]

Beats beast. Beats, beats beast. That's all I saw. I saw the future before it happened.

[Henry Foley]

You say 1994?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

94, yeah. I'm in seventh grade. So the. It was very popular.

[Henry Foley]

Cobain was dead, and people were looking for answers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They would make flags out of beads. It'd be like Italian flags, Puerto Rican flags, Dominican flags. Do you guys remember? Does anybody remember?

[Henry Foley]

I think those are the only three.

[Dan Soder]

You could turn anything into beads, dude.

[Henry Foley]

Those are the only three. Let's be honest.

[Steve O]

I don't even know if this is funny, but when you said 1994, I put it together. And that summer, I followed the Grateful Dead. And I literally sold beaded necklaces with lighters. There's a certain kind of lighter called clipper, which is refillable. And I was like, oh, my God. I found this one little spot. You could heat a nail and poke it through the clipper and hang it on a beaded necklace. So now you've got a lighter that you can never lose and it'll never run out. And I fucking slaughtered. Selling beads in 94.

[Dan Soder]

Two kindred spirits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love how Steve O. Was like, I have a better bead story I'll tell in the middle of yours.

[Dan Soder]

That's so funny.

[Henry Foley]

That's awesome.

[Dan Soder]

Hold on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So what we did was in our class, we had people pre order their nationality. So if you were Italian, you ordered Italian beads. Puerto Rican kids, Puerto Rican beads. Polish kids, Polish beads.

[Dan Soder]

And we took all these orders. Kids, they just gave them a string and they're like, thanks, this is beautiful.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Serafina, get off the fucking stage.

[Dan Soder]

Stop it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're a child.

[Henry Foley]

Stop being so hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get away from us.

[Henry Foley]

Seraphina, doing a great job, buddy. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Stay, Seraphina. Doing the Lord's work.

[Dan Soder]

Seraphina, stay in school.

[Henry Foley]

So don't get on beads.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

After a couple weeks of us getting pre orders and breaking records pre orders.

[Henry Foley]

You'Re still telling this story. We get it, you're gay.

[Big J Okerson]

Move on.

[Henry Foley]

Shut up about the beads.

[Dan Soder]

There's Ken Burns presents. Bees.

[Henry Foley]

I can't believe I used to be scared of you beads.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

You.

[Big J Okerson]

People didn't see where beads were gonna go because they didn't have the vision I had. I suppose.

[Dan Soder]

My eureka moment was a.

[Big J Okerson]

Lot of people tell you beads a dead end business. I beg to differ as I sit at top of an empire built on.

[Henry Foley]

Beads, and there I was, slamming this nerd's head into the sink of the bathroom, and it came to me.

[Big J Okerson]

Beats.

[Dan Soder]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They said.

[Dan Soder]

They. They called us a gang.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Anyway, that's it.

[Big J Okerson]

The Bead Flag Gang story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they know. They shut it down. They said we couldn't do it.

[Dan Soder]

Shut it down?

[Henry Foley]

FBI, man. Who do you think?

[Dan Soder]

Narcos.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, the Beat Boys and the Juggalos, man. It's unfair, you know, they get them wrong deal. The Beat Boys? The Juggalos.

[Dan Soder]

I've been the captain of this police department for 20 years. The boys we're dealing with today are violent.

[Big J Okerson]

They're goddamn hoodlums.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right, tied for fourth place with two points each, H. Foley and Dan Soder. In third place with three points, Steve O. In second place with four points, Luis J. Gomez. And in the lead with six points, Big J. Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody. When you guys see the new me, after I take it Eight Steps to find you'd're awesome by Venus Williams. Which reveals how Williams turned pressure and setbacks into strength. Through stories from her career, she shows that resilience and focus matter more than talent. And that confidence is trained like any muscle. Strive. The Venus Williams story. Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Story number four.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number four. In high school, I called my girlfriend and a guy answered the line claiming that she was sucking his dick.

[Dan Soder]

Wow.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

I drove over with a kitchen knife, banged on the door and demanded they come out. They refused, and an adult intervened and had me taken for psychiatric evaluation overnight.

[Dan Soder]

Another case. Another case of Louis or Steve O. It's appropriate. They're at ends of the table.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no.

[Henry Foley]

The bead industry had collapsed around me. I was at my wit's end.

[Dan Soder]

He goes, you that cuck that makes those necklaces?

[Big J Okerson]

If this is Lewis, he's lying. I'd have to know this, but this is Foley. This is crazy. Foley.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Foley. You used to have a major drug problem. You were like. You had real issues.

[Big J Okerson]

Your girlfriend was always sucking guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your girlfriend was a real slut.

[Henry Foley]

No, she wasn't. She was a good girl. You piece of shit.

[Dan Soder]

Gave it away.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, you're always. You always have a kitchen knife in your hand cutting cake and things like that. It's easily accessible.

[Henry Foley]

I'll give it to you.

[Big J Okerson]

This is not. This is not a Dan Soder story.

[Dan Soder]

I didn't have a girlfriend in high school, all right?

[Henry Foley]

That's the only catch.

[Big J Okerson]

Relax, dude. You made the sale.

[Dan Soder]

I had a boyfriend I don't even have.

[Big J Okerson]

I Didn't even have kitchen knives.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve O.

[Dan Soder]

You're.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve's not a violent guy. See. You into a lot of fights in your life?

[Big J Okerson]

No, but he would be like, knock my tooth out. Come on. Did you. My girlfriend.

[Steve O]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Give it to me.

[Dan Soder]

Good.

[Henry Foley]

Guy answered the line.

[Big J Okerson]

See if you could punch my heart out of my mouth.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, it really is. Steve O'd be like, throw the knife at me.

[Big J Okerson]

Your girlfriend's sucking my dick. Now get over here and try to kill me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I could.

[Dan Soder]

Not with you winging that kitchen blade at me. This could be. It's a Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm Steve O, and this is dancing with a butter knife.

[Steve O]

It's not gay. If my girlfriend started.

[Dan Soder]

It's a tag team.

[Henry Foley]

Steve O's. He's like. He's, like, naturally good at this. I can't read. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school. Otherwise, that's great. That's got Lewis written all over it, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, if. If I called my girlfriend and some guy answered the phone saying she was sucking his dick, oh, my God. This is exactly what I would do. Right? I mean, I would tell you who they are.

[Henry Foley]

However, Mr. Oakerson, always as a young man, as they say, unlucky in love.

[Steve O]

Here's why it's not Lewis. Why it's not Lewis, because he's made a distinct effort to craft his entries in a way that throws us off his scent. He. This has got his scent all over it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Steve O]

I don't think he's putting this out there.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve Ho. Really learning the game very quickly.

[Henry Foley]

That is true.

[Dan Soder]

I say this to future story warriors. Study. Steve O. Yeah. He is your son, too.

[Henry Foley]

You're saying he put things in there?

[Dan Soder]

Who do you think it is?

[Henry Foley]

Did you finish high school?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did I finish high school?

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

Are you lying?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I did. I finished high school.

[Steve O]

Dude, asking him if he's lying is not going to get you too far, Bob.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is also true. But I did. It's well known that I finished high school. North Rockland High school, class of 2000.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he went to. You went to college. For a little bit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A little bit.

[Henry Foley]

Did you?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Henry Foley]

You went to beat college. I went beat you.

[Dan Soder]

Be you.

[Big J Okerson]

Ufp.

[Steve O]

You know, I think that an adult intervened. Sounds like Big J.

[Henry Foley]

Vernacular psychiatric evaluation.

[Steve O]

Psychiatric.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now, if Big J was in for an overnight psychiatric evaluation at any point in his life, I would know this.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, we. I would have heard it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Foley. I don't know it, but I know it. Foley's got you know, just. He's got a crazy past.

[Dan Soder]

Checkered past?

[Steve O]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

What are you talking about? Making it sound like I was a cocaine cowboy.

[Dan Soder]

You were?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude sort of wasn't a checkered pass also a pass at checkers he loves.

[Henry Foley]

I do love Checkers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Checkers.

[Henry Foley]

Dude, you tell me. They got the best fries. And that cheese champ. What are we talking about?

[Big J Okerson]

You got that floppy on that. You got that floppy Johnny Depp right towards the end of the Good times and blow hair.

[Steve O]

Jay, before I write Foley, tell me why it's not Soda.

[Big J Okerson]

He says he didn't have a girlfriend in high school.

[Henry Foley]

I said I didn't have a girlfriend in high school.

[Big J Okerson]

I think you're lying. And Dan drive over the kitchen night demanding commit. It's just not his D's at all. I'll tell you what, Dan would more like sit home and like, he would, like, cry to, like, music.

[Henry Foley]

Soda is one of the comics, so.

[Dan Soder]

$100.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Soda's not a violent guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I would just lament this. I don't know if I'd go, you're.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A violent piece of from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you might be a violent animal that comes from violent animals. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're getting blown by my girl.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, my girl's got her in your mouth.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I'm coming over with a meat cleaver.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Look out. You're about to get your knocked out.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I'm about to a text your arm off.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Cuz you're about to get bit on your arm. You're about to get tetanus shot. You're going have to get a tetanus shot when I'm done with you. Oh, I feel good about my answer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this was an easy one.

[Dan Soder]

God. Steve O. Broke that down, though. Steve O kicked game.

[Big J Okerson]

Is everybody in?

[Dan Soder]

He's like you guys were.

[Henry Foley]

Guess who's about to be in the lead.

[Big J Okerson]

It might Lewis.

[Henry Foley]

Is this you, dude?

[Big J Okerson]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not me.

[Dan Soder]

It's definitely not me.

[Big J Okerson]

You got. You're lying. You never got.

[Henry Foley]

You might as well give up that book now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All of her answers are in story.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Number four belongs to Henry Foley.

[Henry Foley]

That dirty had it coming.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. No, we're on your side for sure.

[Henry Foley]

Well, you figured me out, boys. Too bad you're all gonna die.

[Dan Soder]

You go, H. Foley's not even my name. That's the guy that I killed in the clink.

[Henry Foley]

And I assumed his identity as a fat man with a small penis. Yeah, it was me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was she sucking his dick?

[Henry Foley]

No, she wasn't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How do you know.

[Big J Okerson]

Because you choose to believe that.

[Henry Foley]

Because I choose to believe that. All right, I will take you back to the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What year?

[Henry Foley]

Fall of 1993.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God.

[Dan Soder]

Me and Steven were selling beads. Yeah, you two were selling beads.

[Henry Foley]

I was fighting a bunch of dudes from Penn State with a kitchen knife.

[Big J Okerson]

Onyx and Wuang Clan topping the hip hop charts with Back the up in 32 chambers.

[Dan Soder]

Turn on the radio, you would hear Born to Die by Notorious B. Lewis.

[Henry Foley]

Is kind of right. I had a bit of a tumultuous high school. I was heavy into sports. It was very important, key word, heavy.

[Big J Okerson]

You were heavy and into sports.

[Henry Foley]

That has nothing to do with it. I just wanted to brag about being a high school athlete. My high school relationship was a little bit tumultuous. And my girlfriend was a cross country runner and she ran over to.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Henry Foley]

She ran cross country. That's when people.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no.

[Henry Foley]

They jog for a long.

[Big J Okerson]

I know what it is, but I feel like those people don't run into the arms of a large gentleman.

[Henry Foley]

I wasn't large back then. I wrestled 171 pounds.

[Big J Okerson]

Just eating wings, waiting at the finish line for you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did it, baby.

[Big J Okerson]

Hurry up.

[Henry Foley]

I want to get home.

[Big J Okerson]

Run faster.

[Henry Foley]

We had a tumultuous relationship a little bit. We were both very jealous. And she was just out for a run one day and she went to her slut. She went to her friend's house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She tripped and fell on his cock.

[Henry Foley]

And one of her friends always dated older guys. We were seniors in high school. This one girl always dated older dudes and she was dating this fucking loser pussy from Penn State.

[Dan Soder]

That is. That is so lame to go. I gotta go to my high school girl's house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

To my high school girlfriend's friend's house because her parents aren't home. So him and his douchebag buddies, who I guess couldn't get any.

[Big J Okerson]

And you are emotionally. Right there again.

[Dan Soder]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

I like it. I like it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, he's reliving it.

[Big J Okerson]

I like it.

[Dan Soder]

Keep the kitchen knives away from Foley right now. I don't need him doing a 51 F50.

[Big J Okerson]

Forgot about the evaluation part. Hasn't come yet.

[Henry Foley]

So she just innocently this time.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Henry Foley]

Ran over there and she. She was there and the girl showed up with all these dudes. And I just happened to call over there because we were all tight and we were all friends. And this. Answered the phone. And at the time, I was. I was kind of a loose cannon.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Henry Foley]

I was. No, I was a Bit of a loose cannon.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I was.

[Big J Okerson]

Why did you love hard, huh? Because you love hard.

[Henry Foley]

Because I loved hard.

[Big J Okerson]

I won't let you beat yourself up for that.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, thank you, buddy. I appreciate that. So I called over there and this answered the phone and it was like, yeah, she can't right now. She's sucking my dick. And this guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, so that's. It's a solid bit, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

That's a solid, solid bit. No, he's not. He's trying to fight you.

[Henry Foley]

No, he. Yeah, he. Yeah, he was just being a dick, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, no, it's not a bit.

[Henry Foley]

He was being a Penn State.

[Big J Okerson]

He's trying to running his mouth to what he got.

[Dan Soder]

I hope someone here, they're getting fired up.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he's trying to bully you, dude.

[Steve O]

Well, right. He's not trying to fight him. This is on the phone, huh? This is over the phone.

[Henry Foley]

They knew somehow that it was. That I might. It was my girlfriend that was there because she was sucking all their dicks.

[Big J Okerson]

More than likely, dude. She was a pig from the get go though. But you bent.

[Henry Foley]

No, she was a great person this time. We were both kind of innocent, which a lot we weren't, but we were. So this guy says that and I was little screwballs at the time. So I just calmly walked downstairs into my parents kitchen, I grabbed the kitchen knife and I went and took my dad's car and I just drove over.

[Big J Okerson]

There and oh, if the cops come, they'll take him away.

[Henry Foley]

My dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's his problem. And I started banging on the front door, screaming at them to come out and fight me. And I don't think they knew I had a kitchen knife, but none of these.

[Big J Okerson]

You keep saying kitchen knife. That's vague. What do you mean by that? I keep thinking butcher knife.

[Henry Foley]

Thank you.

[Steve O]

Butcher.

[Big J Okerson]

Butcher knife.

[Henry Foley]

Butcher knife.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Okay.

[Dan Soder]

Do you remember what music you listen to on the drive over?

[Henry Foley]

Oddly enough, Chicago.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, there you go.

[Henry Foley]

Good job, boys. It was actually if you leave me now. Remember I was talking about that today.

[Big J Okerson]

On the way over there. You listen to it.

[Henry Foley]

You take away the biggest part of me. I'm gonna kill you like a.

[Dan Soder]

No, baby, please. So that's not knife wielding music.

[Big J Okerson]

It isn't.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, it is. When you're real crazy. You know what I mean?

[Dan Soder]

Let's wave a knife around music.

[Henry Foley]

So one part that I.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh. Cause you're waiting to frost a cake that's still setting.

[Henry Foley]

No, baby, baby, please don't go. Love that song. One thing I forgot to tell You. My friend group was a mix of middle class kids and kids that were extreme. Extremely rich.

[Big J Okerson]

But all white.

[Henry Foley]

Yes, all white. This occurred in a neighborhood where the. The average price of the home was about $3 million. So this was a bad situation. And one of my good friends also lived in the neighborhood.

[Dan Soder]

The Foley boys. On the lawn with a butcher knife.

[Henry Foley]

Good Lord. That fat one has a butcher knife.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, he doesn't.

[Big J Okerson]

He's breached the gates.

[Henry Foley]

Oh, I hope he's here to trim the hedges. They're atrocious. Send the whore downstairs. Tell the chamber girl her husband is here.

[Big J Okerson]

She's having relations with a pool boy.

[Henry Foley]

Brando.

[Steve O]

With a scarlet letter.

[Henry Foley]

No Scarlet letter.

[Dan Soder]

Okay, that was good.

[Henry Foley]

Thanks.

[Dan Soder]

So you just ran up on him with a. I was banging on the.

[Henry Foley]

Front door, and they got freaked out because there was a lunatic outside with a knife.

[Big J Okerson]

And my.

[Henry Foley]

Penn State. Go Irish. My. My girlfriend got really scared and called my best friend's house who lived close by.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She started sucking his dick.

[Henry Foley]

Really twist a knife on him.

[Big J Okerson]

This girl has an insatiable mouth.

[Dan Soder]

These cross country, it's the law. Lungs on them.

[Big J Okerson]

God.

[Henry Foley]

Her body was retarded. Her body.

[Dan Soder]

They could suck for hours.

[Henry Foley]

Her body was retarded. And I was madly in love.

[Big J Okerson]

Her gums must hurt.

[Dan Soder]

I'm watching Foley go through, like, multiple.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Emotional states right now.

[Big J Okerson]

She's supposed to be the one.

[Dan Soder]

You.

[Henry Foley]

Denise. Can I finish this?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know.

[Henry Foley]

This is a little Trying. Emotional.

[Dan Soder]

I don't want it to end.

[Henry Foley]

Neither did they, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

And what happened last minute? You realize that Arnold Schwarzenegger has to die too because there's a chip in his brain?

[Henry Foley]

What?

[Big J Okerson]

That's the end of Terminator 2. Thanks, Dan.

[Henry Foley]

So they called my best friend's mom. She came over to her nightgown, screaming my name. They made me get in the car, they took me over to their house. They sat me there, and this was crazy. Their older brother, who was one of my wrestling coaches, who we didn't really get along that much and I thought was like this perfect guy and didn't live there, all of a sudden, like 10 minutes later, showed up. Everybody else left the house, and he sat down with me and he told me a story about when he was in high school, he had a similar thing happen where he was in love with this girl, something happened, and he went over there and banged on the garage and almost got in trouble. And he really talked me down. And then my parents showed up and they took me to Norristown State Hospital. To get evaluated overnight. I gave him some bullshit about low blood sugar and I walked out the next morning. And by the way, when I got out, the first thing my school girlfriend did was suck my dick.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Four stories down. Where are our points at, Alex?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right. Back in last place after a rather sad story with two Alex. How dare you H. Foley. In fourth place with four points, Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

I'll climb to the top.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In third place with five points, Steve O. In second place with six points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not bad. You're doing all right.

[Big J Okerson]

You're playing.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

And in the lead with eight points, Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They love the fact that you're in the lead right now. I don't know what's going on with this crowd.

[Big J Okerson]

Can you imagine if the biggest show and the biggest event of our biggest night for story wars.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

87 sold out.

[Big J Okerson]

87 sold out. Did I take this game? That'd be huge.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That'd be insane, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

That'd be huge. We're halfway point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, we are at the halfway point.

[Dan Soder]

Holy wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Halfway through the show, we. We're gonna switch things up here in just a minute, but let's do some quick plugs. Steve O. What are you plugging, my friend? You got a great podcast that everyone can listen to?

[Steve O]

Sure. The Wild ride podcast. I'm on my Crash and Burn tour. It is a wild multimedia experience. Picture an extra naughty jackass movie meets a stand up comedy show.

[Dan Soder]

Love it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very cool. I love it, Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I love it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We love Steve O. Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

I'm on Tour right now. Dansoder.com I'm on the Golden Retriever of comedy tour. Just announced second leg and starting in March. Boston, Philly, Houston, Dallas. Dance Necropolis. What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. Name place is fun.

[Dan Soder]

Red Rock, Gotham City.

[Henry Foley]

This December 13th. Are you garbage is doing the biggest show we've ever done in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania at the Metropolitan Theater. December 13th. Get your [e-mail] Come on out and see the boys.

[Dan Soder]

Love the Are you Garbage boys.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J Okerson, BigJ comedy.com For all my dates. I'm all over the place. Coming home for Thanksgiving. Philadelphia Helium Lewis gonna be there with me all weekend too. And we're doing two story Wars.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sold out already. Sold out already.

[Big J Okerson]

Sold out. Hopefully you'll be there. Hopefully you got tickets already. And then of course, listen to the Bonfire faction talk series XM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. And of course the flagship show of Gas Digital, the Legion of skanks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come see me on the road. Lewisofskangs.com Columbus, Ohio on New Year's Eve. That's going to be a ton of fun. Check out all the other pods, the regs with me and Dan, Soda, Robert Kelly and Joe List. Check out Legion of Skanks, my solo podcast. Sign up for my mailing list, go pre order my book Knives and Spoons. Check out my brand new comedy special and just thank you guys for supporting story wars. We love you guys. You guys are the best comedy fans in the entire world. And the number one way that you can support this show is by subscribing to Gas Digital. We do an uncensored and ad free version of the show. It comes out every Monday night just for subscribers. And then there's a bunch of on demand episodes that aren't available anywhere else in the entire world. Just go to gas digital.com, use the promo code WAR, save a couple bucks a month and shout out one more time for the greatest band in the land, the White Roots. Come on, guys. Holy White Roots. White Roots.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, we have reached the second half of the show, our final four stories and sure, Foley, you gotta be feeling like right now this is probably taking you right back to that time that girl got her was sucking that dude's dick and then told you she wasn't. You've chosen. It's the only thing that's been keeping you hanging on by a thread.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we all know that girl was sucking that guy for sure, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

She was definitely sucking his dick. But.

[Dan Soder]

Well, that's okay. Can you chill out? He's sitting next to me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we know this guy always travels with a kitchen.

[Henry Foley]

Exploratory time. It was the 90s. And looking back at, you know, I wish I didn't do that and I wish, you know, to with the best and I love her.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow, that's a lot of growing.

[Henry Foley]

Well, thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'll tell you this, you don't have to fake that kind of sanity with us because you're still in this game very much. Because for the final four stories, if you know the game, you know that we go double points.

[Henry Foley]

Wow.

[Steve O]

So I'm in this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you're in it.

[Big J Okerson]

You are more than this because.

[Steve O]

And the, the stories that don't get used can be saved for future episodes.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely true. Yes.

[Dan Soder]

I really love how concerned you are with how this show functions.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks, man.

[Dan Soder]

I really. You're like very empathetic where you're like the booking alone.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. But you do Understand that before, if you guessed the correct story, you got two points. And if you fooled somebody, you got one point per person. That now jumps to double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you, White Roots.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you, White Roots. I could do that all day long. Oh, I love that power. Do not give me a live band.

[Dan Soder]

Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Story number five.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number five. When I was in fourth grade, my show and tell ended with a phone call to my house that no parent would ever want.

[Big J Okerson]

What the. Would you show?

[Dan Soder]

Were you abducted?

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, yeah, I don't know. I always make it loose, but go, go. Hey, everyone, this is called a herpe. What do you mean, my mom's gonna pick me up?

[Dan Soder]

This is. My dad's gone.

[Steve O]

Do they. Do they give people stories back to back?

[Big J Okerson]

They can absolutely happen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

For sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, I see what you're saying.

[Steve O]

I'm just curious how it works.

[Henry Foley]

This is you, idiot. Steve O. It's definitely you.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's Steve Otis. He's giving it away that no parent would ever want. I have terrible news. Your son was able to suck his own dick. I'm sorry to say I have terrible news. Yeah, and Steve O. Was bendy enough for that.

[Henry Foley]

A phone call to the house that no parent would ever want.

[Dan Soder]

It's like a trailer for a movie.

[Henry Foley]

I'm sorry, Mrs. Gomez, Lewis is your son.

[Big J Okerson]

The DNA test is back. What's the call that no parent would ever want? Your son's pregnant.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your son has no gag reflex.

[Big J Okerson]

I have terrible news. Your son's got a bottomless throat that wants it all day long.

[Dan Soder]

Turns out he's also excellent with secrets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your son reminds me of H. Foley's girlfriend.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, he smiles while I do it, but I believe him.

[Dan Soder]

We just. What is a call that no parent would ever want?

[Henry Foley]

You tell us, Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know. I'm intrigued.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. This could be Sodor.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What age is fourth grade for me? 15.

[Big J Okerson]

And also, don't forget, don't forget, also 14.

[Dan Soder]

Ms. Gomez, Lewis has to repeat the fourth grade again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm like, the fourth grade again. Like, he's an idiot. He won't stop doing that joke. I'm getting Dan Soder vibes. This is a cute story.

[Dan Soder]

No, this is cute.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm just saying this is the way that I'm feeling right now. And the guy plucked the string.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Mrs. Soto, your son was trying to show and tell about his pee hole.

[Dan Soder]

I go, it does its own voice.

[Big J Okerson]

That was the first time I figured I was good at voices.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Damn was doing Macho Man. With his.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I gotta take a piss. Look out.

[Dan Soder]

Front row.

[Big J Okerson]

You were like a Gallagher. You were a Gallagher act. I love that. Dude. Punch, Please.

[Dan Soder]

Don't make me go back in my uncle's mouth.

[Big J Okerson]

My uncle's a terrible man. He comes in every night when my mom's asleep.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, Yeah. I go, Mr. Penis man doesn't want to do that again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting some Dan Sodor vibes. This is. There's a. It's a mysterious story. The way they worded it. I think it's more innocent than it seems. Sure. And I just feel like this has got a little bit of vanilla.

[Big J Okerson]

Dan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A little golden retriever comedy dance.

[Steve O]

You said you were intrigued.

[Dan Soder]

I think you're wrong. Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis is going so fast that I'm thinking it's Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please.

[Dan Soder]

No. Because he wouldn't leave you hanging like that. And.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, no parent would ever want. What does that mean?

[Dan Soder]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Your son died in war at school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Soder.

[Dan Soder]

Give a dog a bone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's my vote right there.

[Dan Soder]

The audience all agrees with me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve O. Agrees with me. Everyone agrees with me. Dan's panicking right now. He's unhappy.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn. I'm just gonna say something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He threw his vote up for no reason.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm right. Steve. Oh, it's gonna hurt me if you're.

[Dan Soder]

If it's you. Hey, I've already hurt you enough. Hey, brother. I can't hurt you anymore. I tell you it's Stevo. Dude. I'm telling you it's Stevo. I promise you it's Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

You're a monster. If it's you now it's Stevo.

[Dan Soder]

Change it.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I meant to write Steve O. I'm stoned. I was just talking to you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And wrote your name. It's.

[Dan Soder]

If you let.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no. I was just. I wrote your name because I was talking to you and I'm stoned. And Steve O. Is what I meant to do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Foley, you're being very quiet.

[Big J Okerson]

If it's Soda.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Foley's been thinking about his ex girlfriend for 15 minutes. He hasn't said a word. He's crying. Audio listeners. He's crying.

[Big J Okerson]

Can't believe you suck Derek's dick. I just.

[Henry Foley]

I just know that if I'm wrong here, I'm in a lot of trouble.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J Okerson gets the vote from H. Foley.

[Dan Soder]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Dan Soder]

Big J would finish the story. You leave it on a clip. Why? Why do you think? Big J.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Before we get this official answer here.

[Henry Foley]

Because nobody picked him.

[Dan Soder]

It's a great answer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in.

[Steve O]

Well, I think that he wrote soda. I saw it. Everybody saw it. And then he changed it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but it's letting.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't. No, but I didn't. I didn't leave it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, Steve was freaking out because we made him not change his answer before.

[Henry Foley]

He's right.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I didn't take my. And it was. And I didn't write.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never seen Steve. Oh, pissed.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you got him mad. He goes, what the. Oh, oh, oh.

[Steve O]

I saw, I saw.

[Big J Okerson]

Did let go of it.

[Dan Soder]

It says you got to put it down and let go of it.

[Big J Okerson]

However, even if I accidentally said so Rose soda and let go of it, I would have myself. I would have been stuck with leaving it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you leave, if you take your hand away, then that's it.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve O's going to go home angry. He goes, guys are making up rules on the fly over here. No integrity in this game.

[Steve O]

Whatever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in. Who is story number five?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number five belongs to Steve O.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck. My baby wouldn't lie of me.

[Dan Soder]

I would do that.

[Big J Okerson]

You heard me. Enough.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God damn it, Steve. What. What happened here?

[Steve O]

I didn't embellish. Like, no parent wants to get a phone call that their 9 year old boy came into class excited for show and tell to say that in the apartment building that they're living in that there's a handyman in the basement he's been spending quite a bit of time with. And this handyman sends your son up to the apartment with videotapes to watch special movies. Okay. It started out like the, you know, the Omen, the Conduit, whatever. But then it got a little spicy with this movie which I felt compelled to share with the class. It was called I Spit on youn Grave.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure, sure. This movie, classic rape horror.

[Steve O]

Yeah. This, this, this. I mean, even describing this movie could get this whole episode in trouble with YouTube. There it was. The, the story was a woman was gang blanked.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah. Great. You could say grape.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Grape.

[Big J Okerson]

She was essayed.

[Steve O]

Okay. Right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, we will bleep.

[Dan Soder]

We'll bleep it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's okay.

[Henry Foley]

Right?

[Steve O]

Right. So she got like, like, like I since learned because I looked it up. I told the story to my buddies on tour.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It.

[Steve O]

It said on the Internet that of the 90 minutes running time of this movie, 30 minutes are devoted to graphic gang rape. Okay. And she gets repeatedly.

[Big J Okerson]

And I masturbate to it. I'd like to add, it's fake. It's a Movie.

[Steve O]

I know, but repeatedly gang range. And then after the woman goes and individually murders each and every one of her rapists. And I told the class, I was like. I was like. And then this one guy, and she cuts his penis off and throws it in the sink. And it's awesome.

[Henry Foley]

Why did your teacher let you get this far into the storm?

[Steve O]

But like, what the fuck?

[Big J Okerson]

She was his mouth open like this, and he's like. And then, you know, stop him.

[Steve O]

That show and tell totally bit me in the ass. Because the very next day, the handyman was gone. No more movies.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The townspeople burnt him alive like Freddy Krueger.

[Big J Okerson]

And now he's been haunting my dreams.

[Steve O]

Oh, my God. And then, and then when I. Like, like about a year ago, I told this story to my crew. We were on tour. We watched. We just brought this movie up and watched it on my tour bus. It fucked me up at the age of 49. The fact that I watched that at nine years old is really.

[Dan Soder]

Why was he telling you to watch? Just like, hey, this is an awesome movie. You should watch this.

[Steve O]

He was a creepy guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I tell you something that that's even. Maybe it'll make you feel better. They remade it. They did. And the rape, not as hot.

[Steve O]

It's. I mean, white roots, if anybody wants. It was made in the 70s, I think 1970s movie. It is the most horrific movie. And the. The penis cut off scene. After you watch this as an adult, every time you take a piss, it's like.

[Big J Okerson]

It'S definitely top five rapes in a movie. I.

[Henry Foley]

They remade it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Steve O]

All five rapes. Our top five.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. When I was young, that was one of the movies. What, you knew a horror movie was going to have some good nudity in it if the. For some reason, all the other boxes, the video store were normal size and I spit on your grave. And movies like it were like the size of a fucking cereal box. It was crazy. With a girl's blood on her back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not the trick, Jay. He thought he was getting a cereal box.

[Big J Okerson]

I go, I'll try. I spit on your grave. Crisps.

[Henry Foley]

There's no marshmallows in here.

[Big J Okerson]

I spit on your grave Combs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Five stories down. Alex, where are points? That was great, Steve O.

[Steve O]

Thanks.

[Dan Soder]

It's crazy he gave you those movements.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In last place with two points, H. Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

Great guy. Most likely to Kill us with a kitchen Knife.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In fourth place with six points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Ad Host 1]

Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You slipping.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right. What happened to you people?

[Dan Soder]

You used to love the theater, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

We're in the theater now. It's different.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's crazy, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, this is big time. It's too big time for you. This is a theater.

[Dan Soder]

Damn the bright lights getting to you.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In third place, with eight points, Dan Soder.

[Big J Okerson]

He's good. He's good.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In second place with nine points, Steve O.

[Steve O]

You bastard. You erased it. And you had already written it.

[Dan Soder]

And in the league, it's competitive.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

With 12 points, Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is a huge night in Story wars history. The biggest show we've ever done. Big J holding onto the lead since story number one. Five stories down. Holding on to a sizable lead.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, let's take a quick second and thank one of our great sponsors over here at Story wars, and that is Zipix. Nicotine infused toothpicks. Satisfy your nicotine craving anytime, any place with Zipix Toothpicks. These are clutch for you wanting to get your nicotine fix on a airplane, in the airport, movie theater, anywhere, while.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You'Re at work all day long. You don't have to go for a cigarette break anymore. You could just pop in a little Zipix toothpick into your mouth. They're nicotine and flavor infused, so they taste great and they give you a little nicotine buzz. Cinnamon. Peppermint Watermelon. I was gonna say street whiskey. That's different.

[Big J Okerson]

Peppermint Watermelon is street whiskey or sweet whiskey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And they're available in 2 or 3 milligrams of nicotine. So you can have as much as you want, whenever you want, wherever you want.

[Dan Soder]

This is it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you're in school, at work, you can't catch a smoke break. Pop in a little toothpick in your mouth. You look cool while you're doing it too.

[Dan Soder]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now.

[Big J Okerson]

If you want something that's nicotine free, you can check out their Zip Energy toothpicks. This is a new thing infused with caffeine and vitamin B12. Great for any moment as well. So if you don't even need nicotine and you're just looking for a toothpick that's got some fun stuff attached to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It, I think B12 every day. What a better way to take my B12.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. I get the D12 every day.

[Henry Foley]

Damn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I get D. I get D five and a half every day.

[Big J Okerson]

I get D in the A every day. Zipix have already helped hundreds of thousands of customers get their nicotine fix. They're only sold online@zippix toothpicks.com. that's Z I, P, P I X. They're cool. ZippixToothPicks.com you get 10 off your first order by using the code wars with a Z at checkout. W A R z must be 21 or older. Warning. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Zip more, smoke less with zipix nicotine toothpicks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I got my. I got a second pair of Brunt workwear boots. I really love workwear. I mean, let's go right in.

[Dan Soder]

Like, I'm not lying about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Guys, full disclosure. We record these ads separately from the show and I was just actually having a moment where I was talking about how I love my Brunt workwear boots. They gave me both. I have the the Marin and then I'm blanking on the name of the other one.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you only gave me the Marin. So that's all I'm talking about.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, dude, the other one. J J, you'll like the other one more. It slips on. There's no laces. It's black. It's pretty sick, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Sounds fantastic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They feel like you're putting on a brand new. I'm sorry, a broken in pair of sneakers. Brand new boots. I feel like a broken in pair.

[Big J Okerson]

Of sneakers sound phenomenal. Why don't I have them? Well, balls in your court.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's also the same thing with the. The Marin's too. Same thing. Very, very, very soft feeling inside.

[Big J Okerson]

The Marins are comfortable as hell.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love them.

[Big J Okerson]

And now I feel like an. Because you have no lace ones.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No lace ones rule.

[Dan Soder]

Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get laces, get no laces, get steel toe, get no seal stuff. You don't get to get boots. They have other stuff too. They have amazing gear like jackets and pants and high performance gear. Weather resistance jackets. Whatever the job demands. Brunt has you literally and figuratively covered. Try a pair on the job and return them hassle free. If they aren't perfect. I mean, what else do you expect.

[Big J Okerson]

To argue with that?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, just try the. They're the most comfortable with your wear. They're not as expensive as some of these designer boots that people buy. And you're going never gonna want. I'm. I will never wear another boot again. I swear to God. I'm not just bullshitting.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not just saying rest of your life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm just, dude, I'm going shoeless. I'm actually wearing those, those toe sneakers that you see people in the gym wearing. That's all I wear.

[Big J Okerson]

Like a gay ninja.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You work way too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots. And Brunt built something better. Insanely comfortable. Built for Any job site. And for a limited time, Story wars fans get $10 off at Brunt when you use the code WARS W A R Z at checkout. Just head over to bruntworkware.com. use the COD ARZ and you are good to go. And after you order, they're gonna ask you where you heard about them. Make sure you let them know that Story wars sent you. All right, where were we? Alex, Story number six.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number six. I was very hungover and got caught by a coworker sleeping on the floor of a closet at work.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dan Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

You both just yell. Two different people.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, so I killed him.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I guess. Yeah, it could be Foley, but this seems like a. This seems like a soda. Dude. You were a booze bag and no one knew it.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but I got my work done.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, after a nice little nap in.

[Dan Soder]

A broom, I was called a functional alcoholic.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, right. That's true. No one told you to stop drinking. You did it yourself like a dweeb.

[Dan Soder]

No, because of organ damage.

[Big J Okerson]

You should have been the Steve O. Way where. Where a bunch of other psychopathic stuntmen come over your house and tell you you're out of control.

[Dan Soder]

Well, yeah, I don't know who.

[Henry Foley]

I don't know whose story it is, but after the night we've had, this is the second pussiest story behind BE oh, you got caught sleeping at work.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's you.

[Henry Foley]

I was out there stabbing Pete.

[Big J Okerson]

I do feel like Foley and Dan may have a lot of our stories of sleeping in all kinds of wacky places.

[Dan Soder]

That just made me think it was Foley because of how passionate he was against it.

[Steve O]

I don't know, dude.

[Dan Soder]

This.

[Steve O]

I just pictured Lewis, like, writing his things, thinking, man. Like, they'll never think this is me.

[Henry Foley]

This is.

[Dan Soder]

Doesn't drink a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

No, he does. He's got. He's a problem. You did.

[Dan Soder]

I did.

[Henry Foley]

I drank a lot.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, you're a major of a closet, and we.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look, we've all been hungover, but, Dan, you worked very famously as, like, a waiter. This is where you.

[Steve O]

They don't drink.

[Dan Soder]

You can't sleep at work.

[Henry Foley]

Work.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You can sleep at work.

[Dan Soder]

Someone's gonna watch your table for a.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I tell you where. Can I tell you where I feel this is.

[Henry Foley]

This guy's never worked up. Didn't you do.

[Big J Okerson]

You've done. You did radio for, like, Music Radio forever.

[Steve O]

Yeah, I don't even have to erase it and rewrite it.

[Dan Soder]

Oh, there you go.

[Big J Okerson]

But you did. You did music radio for a long time. See, me you could put a. A one hour commercial free rock block. Because that's what 95.5 the bone always does.

[Dan Soder]

You can't do 40 minutes non stop new rock and take it, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

You can on mandatory Metallica Mondays.

[Henry Foley]

You sure can, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

On Tuesdays when you're. When your station used to get the lead out. Absolutely, dude.

[Dan Soder]

We were a class.

[Big J Okerson]

One hour of straight Led Zep.

[Dan Soder]

We were alternative.

[Big J Okerson]

What Then the Stone Temple pilot tower.

[Steve O]

If there is an alcoholic golden retriever, that would be its story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fell asleep. Somebody walked in like. This isn't even a story. But for some reason it registered to Dan. This is Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

No, it's Foley.

[Henry Foley]

Here's the thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dan doesn't even believe the way he said spilled out of his mouth.

[Henry Foley]

Soder is so honest. But he's also such a good actor.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely, dude. Yeah, but here's the thing.

[Dan Soder]

Just remember that first story.

[Big J Okerson]

I believe that the fee from Billions isn't the person from this story, but Dan Soder is.

[Dan Soder]

You guys suck. This is Foley and you guys just let him win the game.

[Big J Okerson]

Win the game. He's got two points if he sweeps this round. He's still eating shit.

[Henry Foley]

And my love is gone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Either way, Dan, even if this isn't you, this story stinks.

[Henry Foley]

It was the third one we talk about, Bead boy.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number six belongs to Dan Soder.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jeez, I tried.

[Big J Okerson]

You are good.

[Dan Soder]

This was the third one I came up with. I couldn't think of trouble. I was too high.

[Henry Foley]

Tell, tell.

[Dan Soder]

I mean, what is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What else is there to tell?

[Dan Soder]

I got caught sleeping in the pillow closet at Bed Bath, Bath and Beyond.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, what?

[Henry Foley]

Hey, watch out for this guy.

[Dan Soder]

I used to. I used to unload trucks.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna get mad at you for that. The pillow closet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's where you. That's the only place. That's the only place anyone has an.

[Dan Soder]

Excuse to fall asleep in. But I was under pillows.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you were hiding.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Burn yourself in a pillow for it, buddy. I'll tell you what. Worth getting fired, I bet for that. 15.

[Dan Soder]

I got. I got got written up. That's all I have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Question is, was there a layer of pillows underneath?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then a layer of pillows on top of you.

[Henry Foley]

There's a question.

[Big J Okerson]

How pillow fort works? What are you idiot. Dude, do I gotta spell it out? Louis, Pillow closet.

[Dan Soder]

When you go to Bed Bath and Beyond, where all the down comforters are, there's usually like a little closet on the corner with all the throw pillows.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks for the secret, dude. I'm gonna Bust into that. I'm gonna kick the knob off and take a nap in that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's awesome.

[Dan Soder]

It was great.

[Big J Okerson]

I might just make a pillow closet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It sounds like the most comfortable room on the planet.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I'm gonna make a pillow closet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's official, Lewis.

[Dan Soder]

I cased it the first day I worked there. Oh, I'm gonna sleep in that one. And then after an open mic, he was, you know, drunk in an open mic, and the next morning I went in and slept in it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That means they're sleeping in the pillow closet or the cotton room, but either way.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my gosh, what a shake up. Up after six stories. Alex, what are our scores?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right. In last place with six points, H. Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, all right, all right, though.

[Henry Foley]

Thank you.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In fourth place with eight points, Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

That one. Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn, Dan.

[Dan Soder]

I know. I thought that was the third story and they weren't going to use it. Like, here's three stories ago and one that you, Rando.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In third place with 10 points, Lis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a nice jacket. He looks good.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In second place with 13 points, Steve O.

[Henry Foley]

Kids a natural.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

And in the lead with 16 points, Big J Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Evo is on my ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's almost like being here for a Big J win is a special thing for the people.

[Big J Okerson]

It's amazing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a huge deal.

[Big J Okerson]

You could number them. They're so few. This would be five, maybe two more stories. Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Story number seven.

[Big J Okerson]

Seven.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number seven. When I got caught cutting school, I lied and said it was because I was being bullied by another kid who I named. Everyone felt bad for me, and that kid got in a lot of trouble.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm getting full your Dan. I'm getting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Big J. Rat vibes.

[Big J Okerson]

Rat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rat. Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

You. Dude, I never told anybody about that girl I watched you rape.

[Steve O]

That was pretty gnarly, man. See, you're backed into a corner and that's how you act, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

Turn your friend in.

[Dan Soder]

Damn, dude. We really. They gotta start calling you in for the star witnesses. You're like Colombo.

[Steve O]

I mean, that was a. That was a heavy. That was a heavy thing to say.

[Henry Foley]

One last thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One more.

[Dan Soder]

Steve O's leaving.

[Steve O]

One final thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve Lumbo. High school Steve Lumbo.

[Dan Soder]

I think it's Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

You was writing it all willy nilly. Wow. Why don't we talk about it a little bit?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J's freaking out. Big J's freaking out for a while.

[Steve O]

Ah, man, I'm betting on a big lead going away.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve O, we've been friends for a long time. I think you know it's J A Y, but whatever. I don't give a foe. You're not gonna say this kind of insanity, are you?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Whoa.

[Henry Foley]

However, I'm a numbers guy. Actually, I'm not. But if you guys were all wrong and I was right, I wouldn't have to kill anybody up here. But let me tell you what's giving it away. It's written in the same exact style as that first question. And you fool me once, shame on me.

[Big J Okerson]

What question?

[Henry Foley]

Fool me twice, you're fucking dead.

[Dan Soder]

What, you think it's loose?

[Henry Foley]

No, I think it's Big J. It's written exactly how the question was written, that Jay fooled everybody on the first question.

[Steve O]

Trash can one.

[Henry Foley]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sodor. Why do you think it's Big J?

[Dan Soder]

I just do.

[Big J Okerson]

No further questions.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve O. What's the reason you think it's Big J?

[Steve O]

Because what he said about. He hurled this crazy thing at you.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll tell you guys just fucked up. And I realized Lewis is trying to make sure the show. We only have one more story after this. Lewis is making sure the show stretches out. So he's asking you all these nonsense questions. This is.

[Dan Soder]

Think it's going to get warm.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are just about to get buried. And I'm about to take a bigger lead.

[Henry Foley]

Wow, you really are.

[Dan Soder]

It's Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J's very sad right now. Look at his face. He knows he just wasted an entire round. He did not bring his lead any further. Big J's my final answer.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are idiots.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of our answers are in story number seven.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Belongs to Big J Okerson. Yeah.

[Henry Foley]

There's life still in these old bones yet.

[Dan Soder]

Mr. Okerson, I think you're close to Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You dirty little rat. I mean, you dirty little rat. Jay. No one likes a rat.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, there was a kid I didn't like named Avi Lazar. And talk about naming names.

[Dan Soder]

He was killed in October 7th.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, he was. He was. He was certainly Russian. For sure. A Russian. Jewish, but he.

[Henry Foley]

Yeah, he Ashkenazi.

[Big J Okerson]

He was like a big goofy kid. And I got caught cutting a lot of school.

[Dan Soder]

What were you doing?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Watching.

[Dan Soder]

Reading those porn mags you got from that old man school.

[Big J Okerson]

No, Dan, I was watching the Price is Right and Days of Our Lives with the young Kelly Rea as Haley and Mar.

[Dan Soder]

Consuelo. Am I right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And also Marcus, remember Krista Allen as Billy.

[Dan Soder]

Come on, take me back. Holy.

[Henry Foley]

I can't believe I used to be scared of you. Well, I got Susan Lucci, am I right?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, my God.

[Henry Foley]

What the.

[Dan Soder]

What that?

[Henry Foley]

Beads and Days of our Lives.

[Dan Soder]

We gotta watch something when you're putting those flags together.

[Big J Okerson]

What the. Dude, when we sitting there drinking a Slim Fast, you. I got nailed pretty hard. Caught. Caught cutting school. And it was like, why are you doing this? And I just said, well, I was getting picked on. I just think of a reason. So I was getting picked on at school, said I want to go. Who's picking on you? And I just went, went, who's a kid? I don't give a about at all. I went, Avi Lazar. And then he got in all kinds of trouble. And then I just started going to school again.

[Dan Soder]

How could I bully someone that's never here?

[Henry Foley]

This is not makes no sense.

[Dan Soder]

Listen.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not even listening accusations. You bully somebody who's here, you can't believe somebody who's not.

[Dan Soder]

Hey.

[Big J Okerson]

How do I bully.

[Henry Foley]

Where's Jay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Huh? Is.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God. Bullying?

[Dan Soder]

Oh, you're talking about the bo. The boy that hides the trash cans with poor.

[Henry Foley]

I'll tell you what's. I'll tell you what's bullying. You're charging 25 cents for a chocolate milk.

[Dan Soder]

Well, maybe that's bullying. You know, maybe if he didn't steal from my uncle, we would have this problem.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Seven stories down. Where are our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right? In last place with 10 points.

[Henry Foley]

Points.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Henry Foley.

[Henry Foley]

Are you booing me or my score?

[Dan Soder]

Score.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I believe that was for me. You hate that you're losing, Is that right?

[Henry Foley]

You hate that I'm losing?

[Big J Okerson]

I love you.

[Henry Foley]

Just say yes or no. Stop bowing me.

[Dan Soder]

I wish. He picks up the knife, puts it back down.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Who thinks I shouldn't win this thing?

[Dan Soder]

Alex.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In fourth place with 12 points, Dan Soder. In third place with 14 points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Dan Soder]

Fuck all of you.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In second place with 16 points, Big J Okerson.

[Henry Foley]

Are you kidding?

[Dan Soder]

He's walking you down, Okerson.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

And in the lead with 17 points, Steve oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Seven stories down. Big J holding on the lead throughout the entire game, right up until the very final story. Sibo coming up right at the end. First time playing is how it always happens. This is it. We have one more story. Are you guys ready? Are you ready for your final story? Come on, folks, it's everybody's game.

[Big J Okerson]

I put on a suit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J put on a suit. Alex, story number eight.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Story number eight. I once over explained myself in an email so badly that I didn't Just lose the gig. But professionals got involved.

[Big J Okerson]

Sounds like a guy who's been evaluated overnight.

[Dan Soder]

Foley or Steve O. Foley now.

[Big J Okerson]

Not Steve O. Is it Steve O.

[Dan Soder]

Professionals got involved.

[Big J Okerson]

This would be the second time Foley's been brought to doctors because of his behavior.

[Dan Soder]

So it won't be the last. Alex got. Alex got the stories, and she went, you've been through a lot of mental troubles.

[Big J Okerson]

This could also be Dan. Dan's an over. But Dan's an overthinker. Over explainer for sure. Louis wouldn't go to professionals.

[Dan Soder]

Nope.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dan is a Dan. If he feels. If he. If he can't offer you just friendship and happy happiness, Dan will start to spiral and go into a very, very dark place. So this is kind of reminds me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I watched this happen. We did a radio show for many years together, and Dan would literally come in sometimes and say things like, this guy drove me nuts on social media today. He just messaged me, you're my favorite comic, dude. You're the best guy working today. It's like, you, dude. There's great comics out there, man. You say. I'm like, yo, buddy, he's being. He's complimenting you think. He says, you're his favorite comic. He goes, but there's great comics out there. He goes, but you're his favorite. He goes, this guy.

[Dan Soder]

I do be doing that. I think it's. I think it's either it's Steve O. Or Foley. Steve O. Puts, like, cliffhangers at the end of his stories.

[Big J Okerson]

He does. Professionals got involved also. Steve O. Yeah. This might be like, he had to get rid of a gig. And Steve. Steve O. Sells tickets.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

So you're not going to show up. You're panicking that the guy's gonna be mad at you, not rebook you, whatever. Possibly.

[Henry Foley]

Steve. I'll just tell us this issue.

[Steve O]

Am I gonna cost something a gig?

[Dan Soder]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Very, very good point.

[Henry Foley]

I was making fun of that in my head as well.

[Dan Soder]

That is. You know what, Steve?

[Henry Foley]

Acoustic guitar players go gigging.

[Dan Soder]

Lewis is really good at throwing track.

[Henry Foley]

I love you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go Birds.

[Big J Okerson]

Go Birds.

[Dan Soder]

Could it be J.

[Henry Foley]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, I owe you this one. It ain't me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, I. I've watched Jay. I watched Jay via email, completely burn relationships with full networks.

[Dan Soder]

I have networks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We try to sell a TV show to Comedy Central. And literally, in the email that I was cc'd on, he was like, you know what?

[Dan Soder]

We don't want to work with you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was like, we really want to work with you.

[Big J Okerson]

They said they were not interested in the show and then I told them a little bit about themselves. It was mostly sad sacking, but.

[Steve O]

So you're saying that like you've inspired people to want to litigate?

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's never gotten more professionals got involved though. But I definitely.

[Dan Soder]

Is that what professionals are lawyers?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. I. I can tell you that I've over explained myself in emails plenty. I definitely am a say too much because I want to make sure they. They know I'm telling the truth when I'm lying.

[Henry Foley]

What are you doing right now? Are you mind us?

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, but no, he said it wasn't him. I. I have to believe him.

[Big J Okerson]

Did we.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did we already have two J stories?

[Dan Soder]

Believe it.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or just one.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wait, no. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One.

[Henry Foley]

Two.

[Big J Okerson]

Two, two. Because the other one. You guys all knew it was my gonna do that.

[Henry Foley]

You want to start my third cards.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Gomez so people can get three stories. People have had three people have had zero stories in one. Karen Fienne had zero stories and won the show one.

[Big J Okerson]

So.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And she won.

[Henry Foley]

I think it's too short for he's.

[Big J Okerson]

Not playing the game. Too short from the bay.

[Henry Foley]

It's too short for a big J story. Especially a person that over explains. Explains himself in emails. It's a very short question. It reminds me of the question.

[Big J Okerson]

Professionals.

[Henry Foley]

Soder got himself in trouble with sleeping in the pillow closet.

[Dan Soder]

You think it's Foley? Because I think it's Foley or Stevo.

[Henry Foley]

Hey, I'm a Philly comic, buddy. We don't lose gigs. We cancel last minute and say we.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is out of every everyone up here that I know. This is the most soda story. And maybe I'm wrong, but this is my final vote. I'm probably winning this game anyway. I need to know if it's Steve O or Foley.

[Dan Soder]

It's not Jay. It's not Lewis.

[Steve O]

This sucks.

[Henry Foley]

Soder Sodor.

[Big J Okerson]

My instincts is Stevo.

[Dan Soder]

Me too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You also wrote your s very heavy metal Stevo.

[Big J Okerson]

Would you say get. You know, I should do it better than this.

[Dan Soder]

So I'm going Steve O. Steve of us Foley.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Soder votes Steve O. Big J and Foley waiting to get their votes in.

[Big J Okerson]

I think I'm gonna go Steve O.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J votes Steve A.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait, who'd you say Steve O. There's no point saying Foley. Why profession. You did do it.

[Henry Foley]

No, I didn't say that.

[Dan Soder]

Whoever just made that.

[Henry Foley]

The audience learn how to send an email.

[Big J Okerson]

The audience wants me to win this game, which I love. So let me ask you. So I'm gonna go with our applause. Is it Steve O. Soder? Foley Lewis. Soder's the winner.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not me.

[Dan Soder]

It's not me.

[Big J Okerson]

Not.

[Dan Soder]

I want you to win.

[Henry Foley]

Don't do that. You can't do that.

[Dan Soder]

Jay. I want you to win. Jay.

[Henry Foley]

I want.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, if it's if it's Sodor. If it's. If. Soda just butt you right now.

[Big J Okerson]

If you by. If you hurt me, I swear to you, I'll kill myself on stage. I'll break metal from something and I'll gouge my own throat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay's going to who? The drummer's drum.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not going to be. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What you guys tell me all of our answer. Wait, no, no, no. Foley's answer is not it.

[Dan Soder]

I think it's Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

Ah, me running. If it's Foley, we're all freak.

[Dan Soder]

Do you write Foley?

[Henry Foley]

Nobody. I don't know what to do.

[Big J Okerson]

No. F. Stevo wrote Foley.

[Dan Soder]

Yeah, I think.

[Henry Foley]

If it's not Big J, I can't win. So I have no choice but to put Big J. You can play even though it's probably not Big J. Hey, do you want to be right in the battle, or do you want.

[Steve O]

To win the war?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You want to win the war? War. Big J. Okerson is always final answer.

[Henry Foley]

Which I know it's not, but this is the. You understand my logic here, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Of course.

[Henry Foley]

I'm a true, true story. Wars. Yeah.

[Dan Soder]

You're taking a shot, baby.

[Henry Foley]

And that's what we do as Philly comics. We take shots. You're going December 13th at the Metropolitan Theater. The biggest show we've ever done. Rally the troops to come see the part.

[Big J Okerson]

He's afraid, all right? For the first time in his life, he's afraid. He don't want to lose what he got.

[Dan Soder]

Going for glory.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. All five answers are in height. This is crazy.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right, everybody, our final story of the night belongs to Steve O.

[Dan Soder]

Dude.

[Steve O]

You had the napkin. You had the napkin.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

You.

[Henry Foley]

That.

[Steve O]

You didn't use it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, tell Steve O. Tell the story. Cuz I don't know that you got points on. I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have no idea who won. Stevo, what happened here? What was this gig? What did you overexp?

[Steve O]

It was every gig in my world. Like, it was my entire career.

[Henry Foley]

It.

[Steve O]

It was. I. I had this email list with like 200 of the most fucking influential people who had the misfortune of, like, me getting their contact info. I was broadcasting my downward spiral in real time. It was drugs, the most disturbing shit Ever. And I was just attacking people, fucking trying to destroy their reputations, or maybe. And maybe later that night or the next day, I was in a good mood. You know, something philosophical. And then it was like, maybe a rap song, whatever. But at the point when I got out of jail and came home to a eviction notice on the door, it wasn't like you had 10 days to get out. It was like, you're already out. Like, 24 hours. You gotta be gone 24 hours. And it was 48 hours, but I had already burned through 24 of them. You know, I was hot. And I knew that I only had 24 hours left in this apartment. And I was like, well, fuck, dude, I gotta fucking get my money's worth, you know? And there was a sliding glass door in the living room that, like, I knew that if it was opened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And just one question. What does this have to do with an email that went so badly?

[Big J Okerson]

You know, it's funny, I didn't realize this was the story was. But I know this story from following your stuff.

[Steve O]

And I'm like. And I'm like, if I open up the sliding glass door in the living room, I could put a ramp there and ride a motorcycle through the living room, off the ramp and make it onto the roof of the building next door. And if there was a hot tub or, like, some cardboard boxes, I could jump out of the bedroom, my bedroom window, and land on the sidewalk. So I email all 200 people. I say, I got fucking. I got 24 hours to pull together this shoot, okay? I said, knoxville, you fucking better bring a camera crew and a fucking hot. Preferably a hot tub for me to land in, because if you don't, I'm jumping anyway. I promise you, I will find out how many bones get broken when my body hits the fucking sidewalk, when I jump out of this goddamn window. And that counted as me demonstrating that I was harmful to myself or others. And so Knoxville wrote, what a fucking.

[Dan Soder]

Cool way to get in trouble.

[Big J Okerson]

Didn't they tell you? Like, we're coming over to film it right now?

[Steve O]

I said, you better be here at 10am and Knoxville brought back to all 200 people. What's with the early call times? Sheesh. Can't we make it noon? Because he knew that he needed those extra couple hours to really pull together an intervention. And. And so eight people showed up, no cameras. They brought me to the psychiatric ward where the professionals were involved, and I lost every gig going. Back on it. Knoxville and those men saved my fucking goddamn life. And that was over 17 years ago. I've been clean and sober ever since. For 17 years.

[Big J Okerson]

Still crazy as ever.

[Steve O]

Still crazy. But God damn it, that cost me the game.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Dan Soder]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

You got points, Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Eight stories down, what is our final score?

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

All right, everybody. In last place with 10 points, H. Foley.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry. He showed up. He played. He showed up.

[Henry Foley]

I regret nothing.

[Steve O]

Hey, not. Not for his score, but for the guy.

[Big J Okerson]

H. Foley.

[Henry Foley]

Thank you, gang. Thank you, Steve.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

In fourth place with 14 points, Luis J. Gomez. In third place with 16 points, Dan Soder.

[Dan Soder]

Joe Montana on these hoes.

[Alex (Producer/Scorekeeper)]

Second place, scored 20 points. And your winner tonight with 21 points, your newest story warrior, Steve O.

[Big J Okerson]

We were all so invested in me.

[Henry Foley]

You two look real stupid in those suits now, don't you? You sure as shit do.

[Big J Okerson]

How about it for your newest story, Warrior to the story warrior family. He takes some strive 8 steps to find your awesome by Venus Williams. Signed by everybody up here on this panel.

[Henry Foley]

You got signed. You got signed.

[Big J Okerson]

How about a big round of applause for our entire panel, everybody. The great Dan Soder. The great H. Foley.

[Henry Foley]

This is the greatest podcast Steve O.

[Big J Okerson]

Gramercy Theater. Thank you, New York Comedy Festival. Thank you so much. Thanks for making us the greatest and biggest story wars yet. I'm Big J. Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm Lovishaco. I'm.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll catch you guys next time. Until then, peace. Thank you, Gramercy Theater.

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