Story Warz Ep. 075 — Pain

Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez with Nick Mullen, Sam Tallent, Dave Smith
Recorded live at Skankfest New Orleans, The Joy Theater. January 9, 2026

Episode Overview

This rowdy, riotous episode of Story Warz is all about pain—physical, emotional, self-inflicted, and vicarious. Comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez host as contestants Nick Mullen, Sam Tallent, and Dave Smith join them on stage at Skankfest New Orleans. Amid playful insults, brutal self-owns, and raucous crowd energy, the comics compete in a game of deceptive storytelling: can they guess which anonymous pain-filled story belongs to which panelist? With points on the line and the coveted “Maui Revealed” guidebook as the prize, the theme leads to some disturbingly hilarious—and occasionally sincere—personal confessions.

How the Game Works (07:20)

• Each participant (including the hosts) submits several true stories on the episode’s theme, “pain.”
• Eight stories are chosen, anonymized, and read aloud by the producer.
• After each story, panelists try to guess whose story it is, while the real author tries to mislead them.
  • Correct guess: +2 points
  • Fooling someone: +1 point per person fooled
• Final four stories = double points (45:30)
• Winner takes home the coveted “Maui Revealed” travel guidebook.

Key Moments & Discussions

Setting the Tone & Crowd Energy

Skankfest is at full throttle. The hosts throw barbs and hype the crowd, teasing both the game and each other.

• “Skankfest in New Orleans is like no other Skankfest. I'll tell you right now, it's palpable.” (Luis – 00:59)
• Immediate banter about Lewis’ failed attempt at throwing a Styrofoam object, which already signals a night full of self-owning and ridicule (00:39–02:00).
• The panel’s chemistry is as much a part of the show as the actual game.

Meet the Contestants

1. Dave Smith – “They love him here at Skankfest. They hate him on the subreddit.” (02:34)
2. Sam Tallent – “I’m very flattered. Thank you, guys.” (03:42)
3. Nick Mullen – “This is the only podcast I've done this year.” (Nick, 05:34) ... “No. But I’m warming up to lie.” (05:37)

STORY ONE:

“I experienced terrible pain when I had to pull a turd out of my ass with my hand after opiate constipation.” (11:21)

Discussion Highlights:

• Everyone immediately suspects everyone else. Luis, Dave get the most heat.

• “Out of everyone on this panel, [Dave] has the most able to pull something out of his ass with his handshake. It’s just literally like a hole in, like, a flat thing.” (Luis, 12:32)

• Nick finally claims it after much misdirection and bravado: “Always accuse people of being Indian. That’s goal number one.” (Nick, 16:59)

• Nick details how post-gum surgery opiates led to weeks without a bowel movement, panic reading on Reddit, and a horrifying—yet successful—DIY solution. “Your asshole is a lot stronger than you think it is. It’s a very powerful muscle.” (Nick, 18:15)

  Notable Quote:
  “I did it myself. Fingers up there, little grublets, and your asshole is a lot stronger than you think it is.”
  — Nick Mullen (18:12)

Score after Story 1:

• Nick Mullen takes an early lead with a perfect score. (19:26–19:32)

STORY TWO:

“In elementary school, I went to my friend's brother's funeral... When his dad shook my hand, I said ‘how you doing?’ A family member slapped me and whispered, ‘his son’s dead. How the hell do you think he's doing?’” (19:48)

Discussion Highlights:

• Everyone zeros in on Sam Tallent, which is correct.

• Sam admits his writing style gave him away: “My friend Jesse's older brother was a rodeo clown...” (24:11)

• Story context: Jesse’s brother’s death (after eating an eight ball when pulled over), awkward kid etiquette, and a formative slap from grandpa.

  Notable Quote:
  “My grandpa fucking biffed me in the back of the head and said, ‘His son’s dead. How the hell do you think he’s doing?’ And then I didn’t talk again at a funeral.”
  — Sam Tallent (24:31)

Sam bemoans: “If you're a rodeo clown, you want to go out being kicked in the back of the head by a bull.” (25:03)

Score after Story 2:

• Sam Tallent remains scoreless, Nick stays in the lead (26:22)

STORY THREE:

“I once got in a bar fight over a guy disrespecting the girl I was with…I challenged him outside…He then beat me up in front of my friends, including the girl.” (26:47)

Discussion Highlights:

• Panel tries to deduce—Everyone suspects Luis, but he vehemently denies it.
• Dave Smith is the true author: “I was very drunk, but I thought I was winning the fight... He fucking cracked me right in the nose...” (31:34)
• “Let me tell you something about this part of your nose...the adrenaline didn’t mask it at all, dude, it hurts so much.” (31:45)
• Admits the embarrassment of waking up to a bloodied shirt and a broken ego.

STORY FOUR:

“I broke a finger over a year ago and it still feels painful today.” (37:33)

Discussion Highlights:

• The group scrutinizes everyone’s hands, inspecting pinkies for deformities. Lewis tries misdirecting but—correctly—everyone lands on him.
• Confirmed: “It was the Jiu Jitsu tournament last year. My pinky got fucking torn apart by Tim Butterly...” (41:43)
• “To this day, it is in a lot of pain. Thank you, Skankfest Jiu Jitsu tournament.” (41:57)

Halfway Scores (42:16)

• Nick Mullen leads with 8 points, followed by Luis, Dave, Jay, and poor Sam—still holding a record-low score of zero (43:40).

Halftime Plugs & Banter (43:10–45:40)

• Brief round of comedy plugs and gratitude—then back to the game.

DOUBLE POINTS ROUND (45:40)

• “For the final four stories…we go double points.” (45:40)
• Stakes are raised; the room gets competitive.

STORY FIVE:

“I’ve almost punched two women for laughing at me being in pain.” (47:17)

• Panel guesses fly between Louis and Big Jay, but it’s Big Jay’s story. (50:30)

  Notable Quote:
  “Being naked, wet, on the ground, in pain and being angry...I would have had to hit her to make her be afraid of me in that moment.”
  — Big Jay Okerson (52:06)

• Jay recounts being laughed at (naked, in the shower, concussed) by two girlfriends at different times and almost losing it.

STORY SIX:

“About eight hours into making a complicated Thanksgiving dish, I cut my hand on a food processor and got blood all over the meat. I had spent so much time, I just finished it and served it to my family.” (55:37)

• Suspected to be Sam Tallent (too many words!), but it’s Nick Mullen again: “Soup dumplings...boil down pig ears...filled with blood and no one ate any.” (58:38)
• Classic Mullen: “To be fair, I went to Thanksgiving and I was like, just to let everyone know, this is filled with blood. And no one ate any.” (58:49)

STORY SEVEN:

“When I was 14, a girl hit me with a perfect elbow to the face. I’m pretty sure it broke my nose.” (64:28)

• Overanalysis leads to confusion; it’s Dave Smith again, from an exhibition basketball game against the girls’ varsity. (67:38)

  “We were the worst team in the school’s history…they were the best girls’ team. And at one point she just fucking swung and hit me with a perfect elbow. I’m pretty sure it broke my nose.”
  — Dave Smith (68:17)

STORY EIGHT:

“As a kid, I busted my kneecap and my parents had to bathe me. During one bath, they noticed my pubic hair for the first time.” (72:16)

• Wild speculation; nobody wants to claim it. Turns out to be Sam Tallent, whose cast-bound leg kept him from bathing himself at 12, and whose dad loudly alerted his mom: “Hey, Bets, guess who has pubes?” (77:27)

Notable Moment: Sam Barely Escapes Zero

Sam is on the verge of Story Warz shame with zero points—easily the night’s subplot. He manages a save in the final round, ending his (and the game’s) humiliation streak.

Final Scores

| Place | Name | Points | |-----------|-----------------|--------| | 1st | Dave Smith | 19 | | 2nd | Nick Mullen | 16 | | 3rd | Big Jay Okerson | 12 | | 4th | Luis J. Gomez | 10 | | Last | Sam Tallent | 6 |

• Dave Smith wins his first Story Warz, taking home the “Maui Revealed” guidebook!
• Sam Tallent escapes historic disgrace—ending with 6 points.

Best Quotes/Memorable Moments

• “Your asshole is a lot stronger than you think it is.” — Nick Mullen (18:15)
• “If you’re a rodeo clown, you wanna go out being kicked by a bull.” — Luis J. Gomez (25:03)
• “I've never been punched in the face, but I've been punched in the stomach and kidneys… mostly by five-eight Latinos.” — Sam Tallent (32:47)
• “It would have been better if I got no points, honestly.” — Sam Tallent (78:31)
• “God is dead and we killed him.” — Sam Tallent (81:18)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:39 – Intro banter and setting the scene
• 07:20 – Rules explanation
• 11:21 – Story 1: Nick’s opiate constipation saga
• 19:48 – Story 2: Sam’s funeral faux-pas
• 26:47 – Story 3: Dave’s bar fight defeat
• 37:33 – Story 4: Luis’ broken pinky
• 45:40 – Double points round begins
• 47:17 – Story 5: Jay almost punches women
• 55:37 – Story 6: Nick’s bloody soup dumplings
• 64:28 – Story 7: Dave gets elbowed by a girl
• 72:16 – Story 8: Sam’s pubes-and-parental-bathing tale
• 79:32 – Winner announced: Dave Smith!

Summary and Vibe

A live, chaotic, deeply irreverent episode filled with self-roasts, gallows humor, and a surprising amount of vulnerable honesty about pain, both physical and emotional. The contestants’ ability to needle each other, the game’s sly psychological warfare, and the unfiltered New Orleans Skankfest vibe make this a classic Story Warz episode—both gut-bustingly funny and uncomfortably real.

For fans of deceptive storytelling, inside-jokes, and unsparing self-mockery, this episode is a masterclass in comedy gamesmanship.