081. Adrienne Iapalucci, Greg Stone, Anthony DeVito | Smells

Summary

Story Warz (Ep. 081) – “Smells” Podcast: GaS Digital Network | Date: February 20, 2026 Guests: Adrienne Iapalucci, Greg Stone, Anthony DeVito | Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez

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Episode Overview

The 81st episode of Story Warz dives hilariously deep into the world of "Smells", as comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez welcome guests Adrienne Iapalucci, Greg Stone, and Anthony DeVito live at The Stand Comedy Club, NYC. The panel competes in the show’s signature storytelling/bluffing game, aiming to both bamboozle each other and identify whose wild, shameful, or downright disgusting anonymous stories are up for judgment—all themed around "smells".

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Format and Stakes

• Game Mechanics: Each panelist submits true (supposedly) stories related to the episode's theme. Stories are read anonymously; panelists must persuade others the story isn't theirs (if it is), or guess whose it is (if it's not).
• Scoring: Correct guesses earn points; fooling others earns more.
• Prize: The winner earns a coveted (and irreverently discussed) book: Ladyboys, The Secret World of Thailand’s Third Gender.

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Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Setting Up the Game (00:34–06:45)

• Luis and Jay introduce the panel and recap the rules with trademark irreverence.
• There's extensive goofing on Greg’s “punk rock” background and Jay's weight history.
• Stakes of the game are established: "We're not playing for fun. We're playing to win," (Luis, 04:19).
• The prize book becomes fodder for raucous jokes about trans culture and Greg's Thai family—which is fake, as he admits.

2. Early Rounds: The Grossest Competition in Podcasting

Story 1: Kicked off a bus for smelling (07:13–15:03)

• Story summary: Homelessness in Hawaii leads to such bad odor, the bus driver boots them.
• Wild finger-pointing ensues—Greg outs Anthony’s previous alternative hygiene routines.
• Reveal: Anthony DeVito is the culprit.

  "I was homeless in Hawaii... there was a consensus among the bus. It's one of the wilder things I've ever been a part of." (Anthony, 14:05–14:21)

Story 2: Saw a man fart out of his penis (15:25–22:43)

• Story summary: A medical horror, described by Greg Stone.
• The panel is both revolted and morbidly fascinated:

  "I worked in an emergency room for eight years ... this guy had a ... fisticular fissure. Your penis wire and your butthole wire are close, and they fissured together." (Greg, 19:19–20:22)

• Story's truth debated, but ultimately, points to Greg.

Story 3: Stinky wound sends class home (28:32–36:47)

• Story summary: An infected pilonidal cyst (tailbone area) produces a stench so powerful, a classroom is evacuated.
• All suspect Adrienne due to jokes about her dogs and Bronx roots, but it’s Greg again.
• Greg regales: "It smelled so bad, the teacher just called off class for everyone." (35:06–35:29)

Story 4: Unfinished root canal, chronic bad breath (38:36–45:56)

• Story summary: Years of halitosis due to an incomplete dental procedure.
• Suspicion ping-pongs between Luis and Jay, but it's Luis.

  "My friends never told me, but I had a fang sticking out of my gum, and apparently it gave me really bad breath ... I still got laid." (Luis, 44:40–45:16)

3. The Great Rule-Breaking Scandal

Story 6: Ate dog puke on a road trip (63:08–71:31)

• Story summary: A hand, some dog vomit, and then right into the mouth.
• Adrienne unabashedly claims and votes for her own story—breaking the show's cardinal rule.

  "It's me. Put it down." (Adrienne, 63:55–64:00)

• The panel erupts: hosts threaten fake legal action, discuss show integrity, mock outrage erupts.
• Adrienne’s (deadpan): “I'm not a great liar,” (69:08)

4. Notable Quotes and Comic Exchanges

• On Jay’s past size: “Jay was at one time a fat piece of sh*t...he’s been obsessed with smelling good since way back in his teenage wigger days.” (Luis, 07:39)
• On punk hygiene: “Those are traits of punk rock people—they smell like sht. It’s true, they throw sht at people.” (Luis/Jay, 08:33–08:38)
• On the prize: “If [Ladyboys] ends up on my shelf, my Thai family will either divorce me or be like, oh, he's understanding the culture.” (Greg, 05:49)
• On scoring: “You haven’t won the book—anything’s happening right here. You can't read it...shouldn’t have said no." (Luis, 06:14–06:22)

5. Later Stories, Wild Twists

Story 5: Breakup over pheromones mismatch (51:07–57:20)

• Assumed to be a ‘woman's story,' but it's Jay: “I would have to assume it was just like, that is like pheromones. Like we just didn't match up...I could tell what I was smelling wasn't like the world would smell.” (Jay, 56:08–57:20)

Story 7: Subway “smell sticks” (73:23–78:09)

• Anthony reveals he handed out cologne-dipped Q-tips for emergencies.
• “I would dip them in cologne...sometimes there’s a bad smell, I’d hand them out. I thought it was gentlemanly.” (Anthony, 77:16–77:39)
• Greg outsmarts the field by recalling a long-running inside joke from Anthony’s other podcast.

Story 8: Induced mass vomiting at work (82:21–88:09)

• A hospital story: one patient’s mess sets off a chain reaction among staff—“I was a patient satisfaction guy—I had to make sure everyone was going to blow him...we all threw up.” (Greg, 87:12–88:09)

6. The Endgame & Dramatic Finish

• The last rounds play out furiously, with Jay and Greg neck-and-neck.
• Despite Adrienne’s rule violation, Jay wins—“I owe this to the lazy effort of Adrienne Apolucci and the horrific bluffing face of Greg Stone. This is your book.” (Jay, 89:03–89:41)

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Scoreboard and Standings (Highlighted Timestamps)

• Mid-game standings (37:03–37:44): Greg surges ahead after 2 successful stories.
• Plugs and halftime housekeeping (46:41–49:27): Panelists promote specials, podcasts, and tours.
• Adrienne upends the game with self-voting (63:39–71:12)
• Final scores and winner (89:00–90:09): Jay’s victory speech and triumphant close.

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Notable Moments & Running Jokes

• Adrienne’s deadpan defiance—voting for herself, ignoring rules—becomes the night’s scandal.
• Greg’s medical knowledge and ER stories are simultaneously gross and captivating.
• Anthony’s “smell stick” Q-tip urban survival kit is simultaneously derided and admired.
• Jay's repeated struggles with spelling Adrienne’s name become a recurring dumb-guy gag.
• Luis’ inability to let go of "game integrity" becomes a leitmotif, as does his riffing on Jay’s “little dick”—all in absurd, affectionate rivalry.

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Summary for the Uninitiated

Story Warz this week is unfiltered, gleefully disgusting, and an absolute showcase of comics roasting, self-owning, and shattering every boundary of shame around “smell.” From heartwarming tales of homelessness and resilience, to abject ER horror, to the infamous meta-moment of self-voting sabotage, the podcast zigzags between actual pathos and cartoonish absurdity. Through it all, the central “game” unspools as a loose framework, mostly serving as an excuse for spectacular trash talk and story one-upsmanship.

If you enjoy roasting, gross-outs, and listening in on a group of comics solely focused on “breaking each other’s balls,” this episode is essential listening.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening & Rules – 00:34–06:45
• Discussion and Guessing of Stories 1–4 – 07:13–45:56
• Midround Scores & Plugs – 45:56–49:27
• Funniest Aberration: Adrienne votes for herself – 63:39–71:12
• Final Rounds (Stories 5–8) – 73:23–88:09
• Jay’s Winner’s Speech – 89:02–89:41

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Panel’s Vibe & Tone

Lowbrow, quick-witted, relentlessly irreverent—a mix of inside jokes, brutal honesty, and feigned outrage that never takes itself too seriously. Everyone’s in on the joke, and (almost) nothing is off-limits.

Transcript

[A]

Fill her up.

[B]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network,

[A]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Story wars with the Story Warriors, Big J. Okerson and Lewis J. Gomez.

[C]

We gotta find a quicker way to end that song if we need to once we're sitting here for a while. What's up, everybody? Welcome to the New York Comedy Club for Story Wars. Make some noise in here, please, New York. We're very happy to be here at our home, the New York Comedy Club. How many people here are familiar with the game Story Wars?

[A]

And who here is not familiar with the game story? Brian Redburn in the front row. You didn't know the show? Really? Come on, folks.

[C]

President of Ryan Redband either. Good reference. Well, if you don't know the game, it'll be explained to you. It's very, very easy. You're gonna have a lot of fun. But let's get our amazing panel up here for the show. What do you say? Our first contestant with an 01 record here at Story wars, she has a special called the Dark Queen available on Netflix. How about it for the hilarious Adrian Apol. Adrian, so good to have you here.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Thank you for being here.

[D]

I was late.

[A]

You were late. It's okay. You're. But you're back. You. I. You. You came back last time you lost. I'm assuming you've been practicing for months and months and months.

[D]

Yeah, I'm practicing.

[A]

Okay. Your next competitor making his Story wars debut. He's got a special called Straight Hooping and he's got a podcast called welcome to Talk Town. Put your hands together as loud as can for Anthony Devit. Anthony, the last time I saw you, you had black hair. This is insane.

[E]

Yeah, man, a lot's happened.

[A]

Were you the president of the United States in the past four years?

[E]

I have. I was. I was in office for the last four years. It's been tough.

[C]

It looks like Anthony's in corduroy from head to toe.

[E]

Might be, man.

[C]

Full on corduroy. Thank you for being here your first time. You excited to play?

[E]

I am, man.

[C]

Very, very nice. Well, we made it nice and easy for you because sitting next to you, our third and final contestant, your co host on welcome to Talk Town, he has a special called Nobody presents Greg Stone. It is, in fact, the hilarious Greg Stone. Oh, welcome back, welcome back. Greg Stone, 01 record. I forgot to say that beforehand.

[B]

Yeah, I should have won. I'm still sour.

[C]

Last time I saw you, which I believe was only weeks ago, you had black hair. Did you and Anthony see ghosts we

[B]

were in the same car accident.

[C]

Yeah. You guys spin down an icy road between two tractor trailers.

[B]

Oh, my kid died. Oh, he's the uncle. So.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, that's what happened. What that is. That will do that. So everyone be cool.

[D]

I like how it's all Italians.

[A]

They really have that. That, you know, we should have done. We should have done stupidity as the topic

[C]

stugats. If you're unfamiliar with the game Story wars or if it is your first time listening, it's a very simple game. All five of us on this panel, including Louis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular topic.

[A]

Tonight's topic, Smells. And I drew big J without a beard.

[C]

Ooh. Alex, our lovely producer, is going to take eight of those stories and read them off one at a time. When they read as be here right on the screen. And if it's your story, you're the only person who knows that. It's your job to make everybody think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[A]

If you guess the story correctly, you get two points, sir, if it's your story, and for every person you fool on the panel, when it's your story, you get one point. So when it's your story, you get the opportunity to get four points. That is a huge opportunity. It only happens at least at the most a couple times in a game. Why don't you put your answer on the dry erase board? Put the dry erase board in the slot right here and remove your hand. That's it. That's your final answer. You can't change your answer after that. And I'll tell you right now, sir, you're gonna have a lot of fun tonight. You're gonna have so much fun. But we're not playing for fun. Jay, let him know what we're playing for today.

[C]

Every week here at Story wars, we're playing for a book from the Story wars library. Tonight's winner takes home Ladyboys, the secret world of Thailand's third gender by Susan Aldous. And porn Chai Serim Gongpul.

[A]

Oh, I love ser.

[C]

Of course. How could it be bad? Ladyboys explores a third gender in Thailand that is highly visible in daily life, especially in entertainment, beauty, culture, and nightlife. Often referred to as ladyboys, there's no pictures. The book explains. The book explains how this identity fits into Thai society in ways that feel familiar there but confusing to outsiders. Rather than treating it as a trend or a spectacle or ladyboys explains how history, religion, and social norms shape acceptance and limits at the same time.

[B]

Real quick.

[A]

You guys might know this book by its American title, which is ew.

[B]

You know, my wife and children are Thai. If this book ends up on my shelf, my family is either going to fucking divorce me or be like, oh, he's understanding the culture.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So this is going to fuck my life up.

[C]

If I win, everyone, your family is going to flip flop. Fucking genders. Point, dude. That's the Thai way.

[B]

We just call that Thursday Tom cost

[C]

soup and cutting off your wiener.

[D]

Just say, I love you.

[A]

Either way, give us our book back. Well, you guys haven't won the book. Anything's happening right here. You can't read it. You can't. I don't even know why I gave it. I should have said no.

[C]

Yeah. What was that, weathered?

[D]

Can I read an excerpt?

[A]

Well, it's weathered because I've jerked off to it about 30 times.

[D]

But you can't read.

[C]

The middle gets pretty spicy.

[A]

Pages 60, 69, and 70 are stuck together.

[C]

You're right. He can't read, but he just fucks the book. These pages, it's a nice thin stock.

[A]

He's just spitting it.

[C]

I think everybody gets it. Who's gonna get it? So I'll ask this crowd. Are you guys ready for war?

[F]

Come on.

[A]

Are you guys ready for war?

[C]

Then, Alex, without any further ado, please. Story number one.

[F]

Story number one. I was once kicked off of a public bus for smelling too bad. The driver wouldn't continue unless I got off.

[C]

What the fuck? You smell too bad for a bus. Yeah, it's a public bus, not a school bus.

[A]

Adrian, you're saying it's one of us?

[D]

It's one of you.

[C]

No, I think it's you. It's not me at all, you guys.

[D]

I wish it was me.

[C]

I would never know.

[A]

No, Jay. Here's the thing. Because Jay grew up, you guys can't tell now because it's so svelte and sexy, but Jay was at one time a fat piece of. And one of the things about Jay that I've known for a very long time is because he was a fat piece of. He never wanted to come off like a fat, gross guy. So he's been obsessed with smelling good since way back in his teenage wigger days.

[C]

Yeah, I always smell delicious.

[A]

So this is a bus.

[C]

Would be lucky to have me on board now.

[A]

If it says somebody kicked me off because they thought I was the bus, I would have said, that's a young J. Ow. Thank you one guy?

[C]

Yeah, fatso.

[A]

Greg Stone. I'm getting Greg Stone vibes here. Greg, you got a wife. You're married. That's fine. But I've known you for a long time. You're a weird guy.

[B]

I'm a weird guy.

[A]

Punk rock and heavy metal and hardcore.

[C]

I've never known him to smell like.

[A]

He smells lovely every time I see him. Those are traits of punk rock people. They smell like.

[C]

It's true. They throw at people. I'm just going all by GG Allen,

[A]

but

[B]

Are you asking me? I don't know.

[C]

Did you ever throw?

[B]

Do I ever throw? Yeah, like a physical?

[C]

Yeah, like a pile of. In punk rock.

[B]

I never threw, but my. My. This is crazy.

[C]

It is crazy. You have anything. But I never threw shit.

[B]

But my uncle is Gigi Allen.

[C]

What?

[B]

No, no. I've just been telling that to people for years. I don't know why, but it's funny you bring him up, because I'm like, oh, yeah, I've been lying about Gigi Allen for a long time. Anyway, that got nothing.

[C]

It wasn't even funny.

[B]

It was just. It was just a thing I lie about. They went, okay, just info.

[A]

That's not a woman. Woman. First of all, if this was Adrian story. No woman is ever sharing this story. Adrian would have sliced her wrist 10 years ago if this was her story.

[D]

I think this is you.

[A]

You think it's me?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No, I smell good.

[D]

Peed in, like, people's shampoo bottles.

[A]

That is true.

[C]

Yeah, but Lewis wouldn't take public bus. He would, like, hold on board and hold a car first.

[A]

Let me just say this because she got it wrong. I came in somebody shampoo.

[D]

You also peed, too?

[A]

No, I cleaned the toilet with his

[D]

toothbrush and you peed also.

[C]

Who's.

[A]

Whose shampoo bottle did I pee in? I can't. I. One time I had a roommate. We were arguing a lot, so I violently jerked off into a shampoo bottle, which I didn't realize would actually make his hair shinier.

[D]

You also peed into a girl's.

[C]

A girl?

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Is this a crime? Maybe we shouldn't say this.

[D]

Yeah, I mean, I'm trying not to say the name.

[A]

Give me the initials.

[D]

I don't know.

[C]

J.C. jesus Christ. I mean, that's who you did it in front of?

[A]

Look, I mean, there was, you know, there was a time where, I mean, I guess I would go a couple days without showering, but not so much that I would be kicked off a bus for smelling. I never had body odor like that Jay's known me since my early 20s. Have you ever known me to have body odor like that?

[C]

No, but his breath used to be really bad.

[B]

I also feel like you. You love too much to ever let it get that.

[C]

No, but Louis. But Lewis did like. Lewis did like grunge. He was like sleaze core about it, though. It wasn't about that. He was, like, dapper together and stuff like that. He was like, cool street kid is how he got the pussy. So it could be Louis, but I just think I would know if he. But Lewis could have smelled terrible. Yeah.

[A]

Can I say another thing?

[D]

This could be Puerto Rico.

[A]

This. When I was in Puerto Rico, I. Here's the other thing. It doesn't say it was body odor. This could have been smelling like alcohol, smelling like weed, smelling like a Puerto Rican. You're right, Adrian, you're onto something.

[D]

It is you right now.

[C]

I think it's. Lucy wants you to know it's gonna be weed. Not that he's stunk like.

[A]

Well, you'll hear. If this is my story, you would hear that when I tell it.

[D]

It's Lewis.

[A]

Well, I. Look, I'll get the voting. I'll get the voting going. People always accuse me of voting last because I wouldn't so often, but I'll get the voting going. I'm going, Greg, Punk Rock Stone. That's my vote.

[B]

I mean, that makes me feel really bad,

[C]

but sure.

[B]

Do we just go in order?

[C]

I forgot. No, you do whatever. You go whatever you want.

[B]

So I don't know if I'm allowed to say this.

[C]

Luis Guzman.

[B]

Oh, good.

[C]

Luis J. Guzman.

[A]

I've known Adrian J. I've known Adrian for the better part of 30 years.

[D]

It is Luis Guzman.

[E]

Guzman.

[C]

Hell, no. I want to go with Lewis and say Greg, but if it's Lewis, I'll be so upset.

[A]

No, we decided. Me and Jay talked. We used to be really for each other. In the beginning stories, the first 30 episodes, we were rooting for each other. Like, there are books. We're going to bring it home now. We're like, you, dude. You got a little dick. Your mom died. Your mom died.

[C]

Lewis came. We didn't have a talk. Lewis came to me outside. He goes, let's not be mean to each other. Friends and work together.

[A]

Because Greg and Anthony are doing podcasts together. They're going to cheat for each other. Why are we against each other?

[C]

Is that what's happening right now? You think they're not both not voting because they're waiting?

[B]

I'm voted I'm done. I'm ready. I just wasn't sure when I'm going to.

[C]

Please.

[A]

Whenever you want.

[B]

So I will.

[A]

So.

[B]

I don't know if I'm allowed to say this. I don't know if you. Whatever. But, you know, I. I don't know if you know that. I've known Anthony since high school. We moved here to New York to do comedy together.

[C]

So you can't smell each other, so.

[B]

Yeah, I don't care.

[C]

Whatever.

[B]

But they're so.

[C]

It might.

[B]

There was a time Anthony was using this, like, magic deodorant. Like, it wasn't really deodorant. It was like crystals or something.

[A]

Oh, that natural shit. That sucks. He said it was like a sponsor on the show. Never mind.

[B]

And he was. And he was homeless. He lived homeless in Hawaii.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So you shouldn't have shared that.

[A]

What are you doing?

[C]

How good.

[A]

Why would you give him that?

[B]

Oh, right.

[C]

No.

[A]

Adrian.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

I still miss Lewis, even with the mounting evidence against

[A]

it.

[D]

Is Luis.

[E]

No, I.

[B]

No, you're lefty.

[E]

That never happened to me.

[A]

You guys have been friends for 30 years. You don't know that he's a lefty. That's insane.

[C]

Learn Devil's hand.

[B]

I mostly talk about myself.

[C]

Everyone's locked in.

[F]

Alex, Story number one belongs to Anthony.

[C]

Ah, I know it.

[E]

Oh, they say it.

[C]

I know it.

[B]

Old smelly Anthony. This guy wore a Hawaii shirt for six years. I made him retire it.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, was it body odor or was it like.

[E]

No, I was homeless in Hawaii. And, yeah, they kicked me off the bus. There was a consensus among the bus. It's one of the wilder things I've ever been a part of.

[A]

Consens. Yes. I like it. Dude. Sick joke.

[E]

You're a smart guy.

[A]

Thanks,

[E]

but, yeah, no, they all, like, they had their mouths covered, and I kind of was, like, poking around like, I wonder what it is. And then the bus driver motioned to me, and then he was like, I won't continue unless you get off the bus. Then they just dropped me off.

[A]

And you had those, like, smelly clouds above your head, like those lines?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

But I didn't have a home, so I guess it was just kind of like, yeah, you could drop me off wherever.

[C]

That's fine. Close to your house. It is my house.

[E]

Yeah, I suppose it all is my house.

[A]

I'm always home.

[C]

Door to door service. Thank you. I live everywhere and nowhere.

[A]

Alex, one story down, where are our points at?

[F]

All right. Tied for the lead with two points each. Big J. Okerson. Anthony DeVito and Greg Stone.

[C]

Alex.

[A]

Story number two.

[F]

Story number two. I saw a man fart out of his penis. The smell made me lose a memory.

[C]

This is a dream. Stories have to be true.

[A]

It's written very funny. Which makes me think it's Big J.

[C]

I don't even know what it means.

[A]

No, no. But I don't think it's you because this. I play the game. Enough with you. This just isn't your style of writing a story. But Jay also has been learning the game a lot lately. He's got a win you guys haven't seen yet.

[C]

Ooh,

[A]

is that the memory you lost?

[B]

Is your next sentence?

[C]

I don't know what a man far out of penis like that. You definitely would have heard about that from me. Yeah, I saw an impossible thing happen. I saw a man throw up a dragon.

[A]

And then.

[C]

They're the same level of impossible.

[A]

I mean, this story is insane. There has to be more to it. Obviously, I think we're missing something.

[C]

Whatever made his penis gassy to begin with.

[A]

Well, Adrian, I won't say who she dated. She did date a man who I could see farting out of his penis at one point.

[C]

Yeah, that's true.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[C]

How.

[E]

Wait, how often.

[A]

Wait, what I do call. I call him Fart Dick very often.

[C]

Old Fart Dick.

[E]

What memory do you think it is?

[C]

I think this is. I'm going with this, Adrian because it's so funny. I think it's Adrian, and I don't know what the fuck this means.

[A]

It's a little bit crazy. What do you think this means, Greg Stone?

[B]

I know what it means because I. You wrote the story because Anthony told. I mean, I don't know. I know his stories. This sucks. I shouldn't probably be saying that, but whatever.

[D]

I'm gonna go with. You got the last one, right. I'm going with Anthony also. Well, because Greg got the last one.

[E]

Do I do a rebuttal or no?

[C]

You want to rebut?

[E]

I, I, I hate for you both to waste a vote is all.

[D]

I don't. I like losing this game. I don't care.

[A]

Do you think it's two stories in a row for Anthony?

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

I don't know, guys.

[A]

That might be Greg saying he knows the story.

[B]

I mean, I mean, it's got to be the thing. That's a play I think he's talking about.

[C]

That's Greg making a play.

[D]

It's Anthony or Greg.

[A]

Greg is doing. Greg's playing the game right now. Greg went home he trained.

[B]

I don't care. I can't have that book. I don't want to win the game.

[C]

Or do I?

[E]

He's all, yeah. He's also doing a play there.

[A]

I think this is great.

[D]

Nobody wants the prize.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Incorrect.

[E]

I need something to give my nieces

[A]

besides hpv.

[C]

It's curable now. Your charges were dropped.

[E]

No, it's curable

[C]

if she's an American kid, she should be vaccinated.

[A]

I'm gonna. I think this is Greg playing the game and trying to confuse us right now.

[B]

I don't know how to play the game.

[C]

I'm so dumb.

[E]

I gotta go with Greg.

[D]

It's probably Greg.

[E]

Can't see how you lost the last time, Greg.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All of our answers around Alex, who saw a man fart out of his penis.

[F]

Story number two belongs to Greg Stone.

[B]

I thought it was a smart move, but I played my heavy hit. My hand. Too heavy.

[C]

You went. Real heavy hand. Oh, God, it's Anthony. And then you went. Should I be saying?

[A]

But you got.

[B]

I gotta say this. You have to look at the replay. When I said it to Anthony, he looked at me like, why the fuck did you tell my story? I was like, wait a minute.

[C]

Is this your story?

[E]

I knew what you were doing. I couldn't believe you were doing that to yourself.

[A]

What the fuck is this story, dude?

[B]

So I worked in an emergency room for eight years, right?

[C]

And were you a penis farter?

[B]

I was a penis farter. This guy came in for abdominal pain, and none of the doctors could figure out what was happening, right? And they're like. And he's like, like, what do you do? Until I go in there and I go, let me. Let me take a look at your dick.

[C]

You have some stomach pains, Arya. Why don't you lose those pains?

[B]

So they're like. They can't figure out what the pain was. Blah, blah, blah, Whatever. One of the residents walks in and goes, is there anything you can tell us? Anything? You could tell us anything that's weird. Anything. Just not normal. And he goes, well, when I. When I. When I pee, I fart. And the guy. Well, that makes sense. You're pushing, of course. And he's like, no, when I pee, I'm farting out of my penis. And they were like, oh. So what happened is, I think it's called, like, fisticular fissure. Your penis wire and your butthole wire are close, and they fissured together.

[C]

No.

[B]

Yes. So hold on.

[A]

You didn't say the sword was gonna be hot.

[C]

Who was this Guy, David Blaine.

[B]

So literally, his. He had. The current was going the other way. He has surgery. They fix the thing.

[A]

He's pissing out of his ass and farting out of his dick.

[B]

No, I think everything was coming out the dick. If he would have waited long enough. And you probably. You could. He probably. He probably had shit coming out of his dick. Not like real shit, but like minutes. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, but this is all. I forget.

[A]

There's our monetization on YouTube. Thanks, Greg.

[C]

Now I can think about is toothpicks of shit coming out of a dickhole. Let me draw it.

[A]

But very realistically, we have to say this. Big J was drawing such realistic penises on the show that we were getting demonetized on YouTube. So we had to have a serious meeting with Jay to say, dude, stop drawing so many realistic dicks and jizz on the show.

[C]

I say it falls under art. I wrote that in the text. I go. I don't think David. Do they blur David's penis when they show the statue?

[A]

No. No, but you have to. You have to say that there's. Even if it's art, you have to cl. You have to tell YouTube that there's nudity. And when you do that, they take away 80% of your monetization gay.

[C]

So it's childish behavior. I agree. I could draw one thing real good.

[A]

A swastika with a dick coming out of the middle.

[C]

It's sad. It's political satire is what it. But society's not ready, and YouTube certainly isn't.

[B]

So I gotta. I just. I'm, like, itching to tell the rest of this. I'm so sorry. Anyway, so he has surgery. I go back in to just check on him, because I always check on these guys. And he's, like, still fucking in, like, almost like a coma, right? You know? And I go, man, how you doing? And he just wakes up. He just goes, pull my finger. And I went, hilarious. I pull it, he farts. And I went, what? Hold that. Come out of. He goes, I don't know. And I was like, you're the best patient I've ever had in my life.

[A]

Hold on. What is the memory you lost?

[B]

I don't remember the memories. I just put that to be funny. What the fuck you want me to do?

[A]

A lot of integrity. That wasn't true, that part. That's okay. Alex, where are our points at?

[F]

All right? In last place with zero points, Adrian Appaloosi.

[D]

I'm gonna stay at zero the whole time.

[C]

If you've never done that.

[A]

Nobody's ever done it. That's a. That's a different record in it.

[D]

I'm to say mine when they come up.

[A]

No, you can't, Adrian.

[C]

I'll be.

[A]

I'll be so angry.

[C]

When Lewis says people take the integrity of the game seriously, he's talking solely about himself. Leis calls himself the commissioner of story wars and he goes home and writes a book.

[D]

I won't say it, but there will be signs it's me.

[C]

Don't you dare lose the integrity.

[A]

When it says my vagina stinks, we know it's amen.

[C]

Oh, God. Dude. Our Indianapolis chapter is be going to have flipped their.

[A]

Alex.

[F]

In fourth place with two points, Lewis J. Gomez.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

In third place with three points, Greg Stone.

[B]

Someone hate me. I don't know. That was Everyone clap.

[E]

They're into it.

[A]

No.

[F]

And tied for the lead with four points each. Big J. Okerson and Anthony DeVito.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Whoa. Thanks, bud.

[A]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment and thank Chubby's for supporting today's show. We love Chubbies. I'm telling you right now, I'm going on vacation tomorrow. I'm going to Turks and Caicos and I have my Chubby's swim trunks ready to go. They have the best shorts in the world. Built with quick drying, antimicrobial fabric, wrinkle resistant, resistant, and insanely comfortable for days at the beach or on the couch, Chubby shorts are a great addition to your wardrobe, Jay. Jay, I know you now that you've gotten skinny. You love showing off those sexy thighs.

[C]

I've always loved showing off my thighs, especially my sick ass. Calves and Chubbies are short enough to give you a little bit of both, but they also have polos, hoodies, jackets, stretch pants. You're going to look great all year long. And Chubby's products, they also have collabs with the NFL and Team usa. So you can, you can should support your favorite teams or get all stoked for the Winter Olympics.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, look, right now for a limited time, Chubby's is giving Story wars fans 20 off with the promo code Wars W A R z@chubby's shorts.com that's 20 off off your order with Code Wars W A R Z. Give your thighs the VIP treatment they deserve with Chubby's. Go to chubby shorts.com and use that promo code wars for 20 off.

[C]

Real quick. Story warriors, let's talk about one of our amazing sponsors that is Brunt Workwear. Been with Us for a while now. And I mean, Louis, you're their biggest client. I have two pair, but I think at this point you've bought four for family members, two for yourself, one for your son, one for a kid you plan on kidnapping. That's a size 10.

[A]

I'll tell you this much. His feet are going to be comfortable. Even though he's going to be uncomfortable in that cage, he is not going

[C]

to be comfortable until he learns to love you. And then when you know he won't run, then he'll probably get some traction on those Brunts.

[A]

Really cool work boots that just look. Not only do they look really cool, they look incredible. They have tons of styles. Just very, very cool look. But it's the way they feel that separates them from the pack because once you put them on your feet, they feel like you're wearing a pair of old broken in sneakers. Very soft, very cushiony. I have notoriously fat feet and they just don't feel good. Anytime I put a new pair of shoes on my feet, they hurt the sides of my feet. My.

[C]

They get sore. Louis, you have notoriously big feet.

[A]

Damn. Well, look, these boots feel fucking great. They really do. If you try them, there's no way you're going to want to return them. But they do give you a money back guarantee, which is incredible as well. That's how much they believe in their products. But not only the boots, they have jackets, they have a bunch of different gear built. For any job site, any work site, whether you're working hard or if you just want to look good, Brunt Workwear has you covered. And for a limited time, Story wars fans are getting $10 off at Brunt when you use the code wars at checkout, W A R Z At checkout, go to bruntworkwear.com b r u n t workwear.com use that promo code Wars. You're gonna fucking love it. I promise you right now. Go support Brunt Workwear. They support all your favorite podcasts and genuinely have a great product. All right, so warriors, let's take a quick moment to thank Green Chef for supporting the show. We love Green Chef. If you're trying to eat clean, you gotta check out Green Chef. They deliver farm sourced ingredients with over 40 customizable weekly recipes. Every Green Chef box comes with certified organic produce and responsibly sourced proteins and seafood. I mean, absolutely delicious and genuinely good food for you. You don't know what's going on on your produce, in your meat, all the CR out there. When you Go to the supermarket. You don't know what you're getting. Take control of your health without the stress, and let Green Chef do the research for you.

[C]

It's very, very low prep, which is big for me. I'm never home at dinner time. I rarely have time to cook something. So these kind of services are fantastic. Green Chef is delicious. Get 40 customizable different dishes a week. That's a very, very big thing with these kind of systems. So if you head to greenchef.com 50wars with a Z, that's greenchef.com 50warz and use the code 50wars. You're gonna get 50 off your first month, then 20 off for two months with free shipping, then flip it, and then you cut that and then sell off half.

[A]

Carry the three. They're paying you to make their meals.

[C]

At the end of the day, you're basically being paid to eat dinner. That's code 5, 0W a R Z at greenchef.com SL50WZ. Check him out. Let them know we sent you. All right, let's get back into it.

[A]

Alex, story number three.

[F]

Story number three. I had a wound that stunk up a classroom so bad that they sent everyone home.

[C]

The 1800s. That is a wound. Oh, wait, that's Adrian. Are you talking. This is a play on your.

[A]

She spelled. She spelled. She spelled womb wrong. My womb was so stinky. Yeah, it was a typo.

[D]

You can't demonetize her.

[A]

This is a story about Adrian's pussy thinking so badly, there's no way I can. I mean, they don't call it the dark queen for nothing.

[B]

Be great if it was like, I had an abortion so bad that it was like, oh, it was an Adrian one. Never mind. Moving right along.

[C]

Why did I fail?

[B]

That's so funny.

[E]

When they get home to their parents and they go, why are you home so early? It was a smelly wound.

[C]

Smelly wound? A wound that stung. That's crazy.

[A]

Well, it's like what you remember in high school.

[B]

Get inf.

[A]

Wounds do get infected. All right, Mr. Emergency Room over here. We get it. They do get infected. And kids, they're not taking care of a wound that well. If you have a big cut and a bandage, if you open it up, it'll stink.

[C]

Well, whose parents around Lewis's?

[A]

My mom was around. She was sleeping on heroin.

[C]

She was sleeping on heroin. She's not patching up wounds.

[D]

Right, Exactly. This might be Luis Jay, you're.

[A]

You're wasting your vote on me, my friend. Remember our new Found friendship. We're back. I mean, look, please vote for me, everyone. Don't get the point, you idiots.

[D]

Ooh, I'm getting some.

[B]

Adrian, I don't know how to spell your name. I know, and I love you, and, you know we're close. I just can't spell.

[A]

It's never. It's definitely not Adrian. All right.

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

Adrian.

[A]

I mean, the last name is the hard thing to spell.

[E]

I'm going with the wound theory. I think it's Adrian.

[B]

Me, too. And she's not voting for herself.

[A]

There's no way she's told a story about her pussy stuck up a classroom.

[C]

Guys, I want to live in a

[B]

world where that's possible.

[A]

Please let me have this Luis Lopez.

[D]

Thank you, Luis Lopez.

[A]

Thank you. Jay. Jay, there's balls. There's balls on the bottom.

[C]

Jay, no. What? They're hanging out. Oh, wait. Are your little balls hanging out? I didn't notice.

[D]

This might be Big J, too, though.

[A]

It could be Big J, but I

[C]

didn't realize I saw you. I didn't realize they were hanging low.

[A]

Big J grew up in Philly around a lot of brown people. They're dangerous. They probably.

[C]

My grandmother would have never let me get a wound that started to smell bad. Evacuated rooms. It's crazy. I don't even know. This is insane thing, too. It seems fake. Also dick farts. The only reason it's not Greg's. I hope I'm going with this. Not two in a row.

[D]

It's Luis.

[C]

I think it's you, Louis. I think you had a. A father that was taken too soon.

[D]

Or not soon.

[A]

By the way, his. His wound did stink.

[C]

Lewis's dad was the Puerto Rican guy who died in the Beat it knife fight.

[A]

My father was.

[C]

As soon as Michael Jackson left, that white guy finished him up.

[A]

You don't see that?

[C]

Thank God we danced, and then everything is okay now. And then the guy's like, sure, man hug. And then he did them the hard way.

[A]

My father was stabbed in his lower intestine, which does carry down to your sinker. So if he pro, his wound probably really cleared off that block in Patterson, New Jersey.

[C]

Beat it. Beat it.

[A]

Beat it.

[C]

Beat it. No one wants to be defeated.

[A]

I'm going with Adrien I apoluchi because why not?

[D]

You spelled my name right.

[A]

I did.

[F]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. We're friends. Luis Lopez. You bitch.

[C]

It's right here. It's right here. Thank you. But he didn't look. He didn't look. He didn't look. He did it.

[A]

No. We used to promote a show. We used to produce a show together. So yeah. Hell yeah. Alex. All of our answers are in Whose story is this?

[F]

Story number three belongs to Greg Stone.

[A]

Two in a row, baby. You were right.

[E]

I genuinely.

[A]

Two in a row is crazy. We should have a no 2 in a row rule. We need to change these rules.

[B]

Oh, man. Can I tell you? I mean, I guess that's.

[A]

We change the show, we don't want to hear the story anymore.

[C]

Moving on. You get it? Fill in the blanks, man.

[B]

So I was a freshman in college, and I was working at the store Fortuno Offs. And I went snowboarding the night before. I came off this ramp, I landed on a rock, and I just hurt my ass. I was like, what the fuck is that? Right? I really hurt my ass. Next day I go to work and I was like, I just gotta go home. So I told the people at Fortune office, I go, I just fell off a ladder. I was like, can I go home? And they were like, no, you can't go home. They're like, you got to go to the emergency room. Like, this is a fucking lawsuit. So they send me the emergency room. They. Turns out I had a. I broke my. I broke piece of my tailbone, but also ruptured a pollinidal cyst, which is this fucking thing. And you had one.

[C]

I have.

[B]

So you remember the smell?

[A]

The thing that was on your back? Your back?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It was on the show last week.

[C]

Yeah. It is a. Do you know, it's. Very few people get it, but the people who get it the most. Black people. Oh, make some noise.

[B]

Make some noise.

[C]

Very black thing. I found out. I didn't know that. It's a nightmare. Yeah.

[D]

And it's so close to black History Month.

[C]

So close. It will be passed when this only.

[A]

Only. It's like sickle cell and your.

[C]

Your father cysts MLK day.

[B]

So I go. So I have to go to school. And like, they kept putting like. Like wound stuff. My mom just gave me a maxi pad and I taped it, like, to the back of my ass. I was going to the bathroom, changing maxi pads. Ew.

[A]

Your mom use maxi pads? Is that what that is? Ew.

[B]

Is that weird?

[C]

Oh, panty liners.

[B]

Like the things. It's like a thing. It's a thing you put on your underwear and it catches the blood for your period.

[C]

Panty liner.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like tampons are must go in your sniz. Yeah, exactly.

[C]

Your mom sniz.

[B]

Oh, my mom sniz.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Is it like. Isn't a maxi pad. Kind of gross, ladies, right? It is, right?

[B]

Is it just a pad?

[A]

It's the only.

[C]

Only dude Story wars fans. Free Bleed. Free Bleed. Free Bleed.

[B]

Oh, man.

[C]

All right. Start. Start trends. Hashtag Story wars, hashtag Free Bleed.

[B]

So I had to carry around. So I'm carrying a donut pillow that broke. It was my first year in college, and it's like, it smelled so bad. I walked into the. I. I didn't know because I was. Whatever my pad was got too bloody, and I, like, threw it out.

[C]

So.

[B]

So I walk into class and it smelled so bad, and I was. People were noticing, but I don't think anyone knew where it was coming from. But the teacher was. I don't know. He knew it was me, and so he just goes. He was like, look, I don't think we can continue, so why doesn't everyone just go? So instead of, like, pointing me out and telling me to leave, he was like, no class today, because this is a fucking nightmare. And I went. And then I got, like, six months off of paid leave from Fortunoffs because I lied about falling on a snareboard. And they're out of business now, so fuck them.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Did you put your business.

[C]

My. My perinatal cyst story last week was in a road gig one time. Justin Silver, that sweetheart changed a hot compress on my upper ass for two full nights. Yeah, what a sweetheart, though.

[A]

Sweetheart homosexual.

[C]

Well, he needed it to heal up so I could flip on my back. So you can blow them.

[B]

Do you remember the smell, though? I mean, like, was it. Because ER doctors, notoriously, will tell you it's one of the worst smells that comes into an er.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. It's fucking. It's fun. It's so bad, it's fun. What the fuck is that? Is that death? It's someone's ass, blood.

[C]

It shut down a class is pretty insane.

[A]

Alex, we're points at three stories down.

[F]

In last place, with zero points, Adrian Appalachian.

[C]

We're doing it. The perfect game. Perfect game so far.

[F]

In fourth place, with two points, Luis J. Gomez.

[C]

He's there. He's playing the game. He's on the board, Dude. He's on the board.

[F]

Tied for second place with four points each. Big J Okerson and Anthony DeVito.

[C]

No, we're a team. We talked about it outside before the show. Oh, my God. Oh, God. I'm gonna vote early. Next story's Adrian for sure.

[A]

God damn it. We're gonna get demonetized for that now. There's no way your Dick. Pictures are okay, but that's okay.

[C]

I have to draw what you just said.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[C]

Okay, all right, all right. I won't.

[F]

And in the lead with seven points, Greg Stone.

[C]

Wowee.

[B]

For the Thai people.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

For my people. Your family of ladyboys is so close to going home. With Ladyboys, which follows real people working as performers, models, beauty contestants, and in everyday jobs. Through interviews and first hand reporting, the book shows how gender identity intersects with family expectations, money, relationships and survival. These stories balance moments of confidence and visibility with the real pressure of discrimination and instability.

[B]

Very exciting.

[C]

Lady Boys by Susan Aldous and porn. Chai Serene Gagappa Pool.

[A]

Alex. Story number four.

[F]

Story number four. For most of my twenties, I had an unfinished root canal that gave me bad breath. I didn't realize it was the half rotten tooth. And I just accepted that I had bad breath.

[C]

So you knew the whole time you were angry at me for never pointing it out to you, but you knew.

[A]

First of all, I've never had a root canal much less than. Yeah, you, Jay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You got veneers.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You had fucked up teeth. It was a whole thing.

[C]

My teeth weren't fucked up. I just didn't like them.

[A]

Do you spent $20,000 of veneers because your teeth weren't fucked up?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

No.

[C]

My two front ones crossed over. I hated it. Yeah, I got veneers for sure. Never had bad breath for any reason. Louis, you just taught everybody how good I smelled.

[A]

You did, but maybe this could have been you. This is why you got veneer. I had no idea why you said

[C]

for Most of my 20s you knew me. Most of my 20s? No.

[A]

I met you when you were like 29.

[C]

No, you didn't.

[A]

Yeah, I did.

[C]

This is not us coming together.

[A]

You're 50 years old.

[C]

48.

[A]

You're nearly 50. I didn't meet you in your 20s. I met you when you were almost 30.

[C]

That would still be in my 20s, you dipshit. How do we become a fucking team? You're gonna say don't shit like this

[A]

for most of your 20s. This is why God gave you a little dick.

[C]

Dude, give me my kiss back.

[A]

Oh, people are gonna reverse that. It's gonna bring me kiss again. Damn it.

[C]

Give me my fucking kiss, bro.

[A]

Anthony, you have a nice smile, but you, you were homeless for a little while.

[C]

True.

[A]

Did you have ever have a root canal?

[E]

I have had a root canal.

[C]

Fully or part of an unfinished one?

[F]

No. No.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

They did the job. They. They went through with it.

[A]

What is an unfinished root canal? How does that work?

[C]

What if Greg said, in 25 stories.

[D]

Just Greg.

[A]

We've had three stories. I don't think we've ever had three in a row. If it's Alex and I mean this. If it's Greg. Three in a row, you're fired. That's insane.

[E]

It seems too tame for a Greg story. This is too, like, in the world that we live in.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Here's the thing, though.

[C]

You.

[B]

I could see you.

[D]

I trust nothing you say, being like, can you draw a swastika? Is that allowed? No, Just making sure.

[C]

Just penis. No, no, no. I think you can. I think you can't do a penis coming off of it, though. Or at least not a very realistic.

[A]

No, I think a swastika is going to be a problem. Kids, please don't do a swastika.

[D]

I'm doing a.

[A]

Okay. There's a. There's a swastika in every window. You know that, Adrian.

[D]

That's from my joke.

[B]

I could see. I could see. Anthony, I've given up on this.

[A]

Did you vote for Adrian?

[B]

No.

[A]

That's last. Okay.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

This is very simple to me and Lewis. You're gonna say I'm wasting a vote. I know.

[A]

No, you know what? I want you to vote for me, Jay. Now. I thought we were trying to be on the same team.

[C]

Oh, we're on the same team. You're gonna let me know it's you for sure. Y. This is definitely Lewis. I just told you. His breath smelled like. For the first few years I knew. Did you know me? Yeah.

[A]

You did know me in my 20s.

[C]

I did. Yeah.

[A]

But my breath smelled like. Probably until I was 40.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you did eventually fix it. Hand turkey. And that's what's important.

[B]

I know Adrian to just explain, accept things, too. I feel like you just be like, ah, I guess this is who I am now.

[A]

Adrian's from the Bronx.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What I could see you just being. Accepting defeat.

[D]

I have a bad.

[B]

Are you mad at me?

[A]

What's happening here? The smell.

[D]

You've lied about a lot of stuff.

[B]

It's a. It's a show for lying.

[C]

I don't like that you have lied aggressively at her. If I'm being honest.

[D]

You misspell my name.

[B]

Well, that's just classic me being in idiot. Like, I can't.

[D]

I think this is Greg.

[C]

Well, I don't think Adrian. Adrian was like. She was a wigger like me. Yeah. Back in school and like. Yeah. I just feel like this is Wouldn't be her. Like Adrian. She had nice, beautiful teeth and she. And she gave a. I never even

[D]

had a rooka now, but when you

[C]

were a teenager, you gave.

[A]

God damn it, Anthony.

[C]

What?

[E]

What? It's.

[C]

It's Lewis contorting himself.

[E]

It's a man running, that's all.

[C]

Oh, he's got. And he's got a screwdriver sticking in his stomach.

[E]

It's a man running. And he was on the job and they stuck a screwdriver in him. He was working on a car, for God's sake.

[C]

There's a nail in his stomach.

[D]

But that. That leg looks like a dick, though.

[A]

I'm getting Anthony. Anthony was actually homeless. He got a root canal. Anthony. You could have lied about having to get a root canal at one point.

[D]

Can I write a couple people down? Can I write Lewis and Greg?

[A]

No, just one.

[C]

But homeless or not. Not. Anthony's got really nice teeth.

[A]

He does have really nice teeth, but so do I. Yeah, you're fine.

[E]

You do have nice teeth.

[B]

I kind of thought. I kind of thought it was Anthony. But I'll say this. You got so mad at me, and I know how much you love me that that means you're being defensive about something. So I think just based on the fact that you came at me like that. Yep.

[D]

Who did you write?

[B]

I wrote you good.

[E]

I write Lewis every time I think it's fun.

[C]

You will eventually get points.

[A]

It is me.

[D]

I think it's Greg, though. Honestly. Think it's Greg.

[C]

If it's Greg again.

[A]

If it's Greg again, I'm going to lose my.

[C]

I'm going to flip the table over. I'll flip the table over.

[B]

My story.

[A]

If it's. If it's three in a row, Greg, we need to make a rule that it can't be three in a row.

[C]

Yeah. Cuz then it's definitely never Greg again.

[D]

All right, I'm doing Lewis.

[A]

Idiot. Fool. Alex, I'm scared.

[C]

I don't know who this is. I saw the sting.

[A]

Whose breath. Whose breath stuck? Ah, bud so bad.

[C]

Damn it, dude.

[B]

I think I would if it was Anthony. I feel like I would remember this.

[A]

Alex, send me.

[F]

The bad breath belonged to Lewis.

[A]

Oh, man.

[B]

I'm sorry, Adrian.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it was. There was a reason I had an unfinished root canal. This tooth.

[C]

And the whole crowd just went, ah.

[A]

And yeah, they hal. I was like, maybe I want to say 17 when they, like, hollowed it out, started it. And then my mom, like, never took me back to get it finished. So I had like a hollow Tooth that would start to break apart. And it was just at one point. It's a little sharp fang that was like green sticking out of my gum. And apparently it gave me really bad breath. And my friends never told me.

[C]

We just.

[A]

No, I didn't. I really didn't.

[C]

We just let you lead us and always walked behind you.

[A]

No, I still got.

[C]

You're our leader now. Get up there.

[A]

I still got. I think about it, it's like, how cool. How did women sleep with me with my dead tooth in my mouth? That's insane. But that's kind of a compliment.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It's a testament to the game that I have.

[C]

Or maybe they were insecure and thought it was from you eating their ass.

[A]

It's true. I went through a phase where I was only dating women with names that started with H. Nice, Helen and Hannah. I love you, Hannah.

[B]

A

[C]

Eastern European.

[A]

God damn it. You son of a. We're supposed to be friends. Alex, where are points at?

[F]

All right, in last place with two points, Adrien Apolucci.

[C]

On the board.

[D]

On the board, the comeback kid.

[F]

In fourth place with 3.3points, Louis J. Gomez. Tied for second place with six points each, Big J Okerson and Anthony DeVito.

[B]

They're coming.

[C]

Yeah.

[F]

And in first place with seven points, Greg Stone.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The dog, baby.

[A]

Six points each. Like a Star of David.

[C]

Absolutely. What? Yeah. We are at the halftime of our show. We do our plugs. Some quick plugs. Everybody go around the table. Greg. Mr. Stone, what do you got?

[B]

I got a podcast with Anthony called Welcome to Toptown. That's exciting. And have a special. Nobody presents Greg Stone. And I don't know you come over my house. I live in Montclair now. Hang out.

[A]

Don't tell people you're hometown. These people are savages.

[B]

Are they gonna walk around?

[C]

You're in Jersey now.

[B]

So long. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

I'm not gonna tell you what street. Because they told me not to. I would have told you. What street. I really would have just told you. I'll tell you. Street. Yeah. You can ask me later.

[C]

What's the theater? You got a great music theater out there, is it?

[B]

Which one?

[C]

Yeah. Great theater. Yeah.

[A]

This is an after show conversation.

[C]

Anthony.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

Watch my special straight hooping on my YouTube channel. And yeah, check out our show at the Wellmont Theater in Montclair.

[C]

Great theater.

[E]

Great theater. Yeah.

[C]

That's it, Adrian.

[D]

Go watch the Dark Queen on Netflix. I'm going to Europe in March and that's it.

[A]

Hell, yeah. Adrian Appalucci, the great Adrian Appalucci, one of the funniest comedians in the world.

[C]

Big J bigjay comedy.com come see me on the Greatest Yapper Alive tour with a puzzlingly disturbing poster I've made. Yeah, look for a city near you. I know these always come out so late, so look for a city near you. I'm all over the place. Listen to the bonfire five days a week faction talk, SiriusXM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly and of course Legion of Skanks right here on the Gas Digital network.

[D]

That's me.

[A]

Yeah, Luis, come see me live on the road. Brand new tour the Rattle Me this Tour presented by Yo Kratom, home of the $60 kilo yom.com the best sponsors in the game. Come see me everywhere. I'm going all over the place, a bunch of places. I'm going to Australia this spring. I'm going to go back to Europe I think in the fall. So lots of fun stuff plus a bunch of US states. Lewisofskangs.com is a website. Make sure you guys check out all the other pods that I do. Legion of Skanks, Real ass podcast and the regs all Gas Digital shows. And if you love this show you should know that Gas Digital has the exclusive on uncensored and ad free versions of all of our shows plus pre release plus a bunch of episodes that aren't available anywhere else. If you love this show you can get of a bunch a bunch of like nearly 100 episodes that are available on demand at your fingertips. Go to gas digital.com use the promo code wars with a ZWA RZ and you will save a couple bucks a month and it supports the show directly. I also have a book myself that is being shipped March 3rd. You can pre order it right now on Amazon or yeah, you can pre order on Amazon and that's that. So yeah, let's explain what happens in the second half.

[D]

Jack Hoboe, what's your book called?

[A]

It's called Knives and Spoons.

[D]

You didn't say it.

[A]

That's true. Guys, go order knives and spoons on Amazon. There's gonna get sets of knives and spoons. There's no forks.

[C]

This thing sucks. We have reached the second half of the show and sure, sure, Lewis, Adrian, you guys are probably feeling pretty dejected right about now. Adrian's just moved on completely emotionally. She's, she just started drawing stuff. She's emotionally already back in her house.

[A]

I think that's Adrian trying to slip in tits to a picture.

[B]

I Put your.

[C]

I felt so, too. I did feel that way.

[D]

There's my tits.

[C]

She traced her tits and then drew a face around it.

[A]

You.

[C]

Adrian, you are far from out of this game, as Lewis knows. You're not out of this game because for the second half and you know, you've done the show. Before we go, double points. It's very simple. If you fooled somebody before, you got one point. If you guessed the correct person, you got two points. That now bumps up to double points.

[B]

Double points,

[A]

sir, just pretend to be into it.

[C]

He did the whole fingering thing. I did two. I did two in the pink, two in the stink.

[A]

Come on, Jay.

[C]

What? I didn't draw it. So, Adrian, you are still very, very much in this game. It only takes one round to turn everything around. What do you say, Alex? Story number five.

[F]

Story number five. I hooked up with someone who smelled so bad to me that I had to cut it off. Off. I know they didn't smell bad to the world. Just me. I guess our pheromones didn't match up.

[A]

This is a woman story. Pheromones is a crazy thing to say.

[B]

Hear it in her voice.

[A]

I guess it didn't match up.

[B]

I could hear Adrian saying it.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, like, only, like, if we hooked up with a girl that smelled so bad, we would go like, I. I hooked up with a pig. She was disgusting.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna tell every one of my community ass pussy.

[C]

Made me pissed off. Almost hit her left left instead. What a hero.

[A]

Only a woman is looking crazy is.

[D]

This is not my story. I'm not even kidding. I don't even want to win this game. I don't care about it. But, like, this is definitely not me.

[C]

She got the taste of the points.

[B]

I know Anthony and I would not cut it off with anybody, so neither would you.

[D]

So who the fuck story is that?

[A]

I dated a girl who, I mean, to this day, has armpit odor. I don't know how. How. I took a shower there one time and I washed her armpits, like, in a sexy way. I was like. I was like, ooh. And I was sort of scrubbing it with a loofah. Like a really abrasive loofah.

[C]

I did that with a girl's crazy bush once. I'm like, it'll be sexy if I shaved it off, because it's. It's making my cheeks itch. Yeah.

[A]

Guys aren't. Somebody's smelling bad. You're not going to cut it off. You're just going to, like, deal with It. This is a womanly type story.

[D]

Even though you're saying it's not me.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, man. She's playing the game, dog.

[D]

Okay? I have nothing to lose.

[A]

I can't care about the only thing. The only going. The only thing going for Adrian right now is that I really believe her. That she does not care.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[C]

I do believe that.

[A]

I believe. It's so hard.

[E]

Yeah, that's a good point. I think it's Jay.

[D]

Pheromones probably are.

[C]

That's true. I know they are.

[A]

Yeah, we all know what they are, but we don't know how to spell it.

[D]

He's the only one that's going to say.

[E]

Yeah, he's the only one that's going to write it out.

[C]

Out.

[D]

Although you probably know what it is, too.

[C]

Greg. What?

[D]

I think it's Greg.

[C]

It be Greg's fifth story.

[D]

Greg.

[A]

I.

[C]

Don't make me say Greg again. It's been his fifth story. Every story.

[D]

It's Greg.

[B]

I will tell you this, and I don't want to defend myself, but if it was a woman who smelled that bad.

[D]

It's not me.

[B]

I would keep it going because that's an adventure to me.

[A]

What if this is the woman and she's leaving right now? She's like, I told you. I told you not to tell.

[C]

They smell me. They smell me. I got to go. Go. My wound is smelling.

[A]

Yeah. I'm getting big.

[C]

We can still be monetized from that.

[A]

We can.

[C]

Weird.

[A]

I'm getting big J and Adrien vibes. This is sort of the. The. The guess right now.

[B]

Hard.

[E]

I'm going, Jay.

[D]

It's Jay or Greg.

[C]

I accept that. That feels good. I cut off some. Never in my life.

[A]

Yeah, but you know what, J? You. You are a thing with like, you. You. I think if a girl smelled, that might be the thing for you. And that's why it's a surprising story for you. Cuz I've seen you some real gross.

[C]

But they smelled wonderful.

[A]

They smell delicious. They smell like candy.

[C]

There's no way that could be true. I'm sure I've had a lot of sex that to a third person would smell like salami happening. Like somebody's casing salami.

[F]

It's you or him.

[C]

I can't. It didn't smell like that to me, probably. Or her. But to a third party. Casing salami. I'll say it eight more times. That's definitely funny. Our sex smelled like whatever kind of grumbled up is inside salami being pushed through a machine into A casing? Yeah. Let's do Jay. Oh, I can't do myself. Adrian, it's not. It can't be Greg again. I can't tell.

[A]

Okay, you know what? I'm gonna go with my answer. I believe that Adrian doesn't care that she's not fighting that hard for this. You haven't spelled her name right one time.

[C]

I can't spell. I'll tell you which of mine.

[A]

No, do not tell us which one's yours.

[C]

All right?

[A]

You said me, I said you.

[C]

That's not teamwork, J Bums.

[A]

It's not.

[C]

I don't think it's you. I want to say you just arbitrarily, but I don't think it's you.

[A]

If this is you, there's no reason for all this song and dance. Jay, you're the last voter.

[D]

Just put gr.

[A]

Put me.

[D]

Just put me.

[C]

Put me.

[A]

What is she doing?

[B]

I think she might secretly be the best at this game.

[C]

If I put you and it's not you, I'd be furious.

[D]

Be furious.

[A]

Why would Jay be acting this much if it's him?

[C]

Wait, fuck, it's Jay.

[A]

There's no reason for all of this.

[C]

What are you talking about? You're an asshole when it's you jerk off. Alex.

[A]

He's bummed.

[F]

Story number five belongs to Big.

[C]

Was me.

[A]

You changed your answer twice at the end.

[C]

Drama. It's all about drama.

[B]

It's a nice one.

[C]

Yeah. She was so cute. I was very attracted to her, this girl.

[A]

But like, what part of her body was it that smelled her?

[C]

Her essence as a whole thing? I've never experienced that before, but I would have to assume it was just like, that is like pheromones. Like we just didn't match up. It's a white chick. I'm telling you, it was not. I promise you the world didn't smell.

[A]

We said true stories. Jay.

[D]

What kind of white?

[C]

Smoking hot white. Which is tight as pussy.

[B]

She was really hot and she smelled.

[A]

Yeah, she just went to a different school. It was fun.

[C]

She was so hot. Like let me draw her are fun, right? Come on, dude. It's different art. Yep. I think it was just that I, I, I could tell what I was smelling wasn't like the world would smell. I don't. Does anybody else experiences ever felt like just someone just smelled wrong to you? Yeah, yeah. It was just wrong. I know it wasn't body odor. She didn't have bad arm. Nothing of that. It just her. She just smelled wrong.

[A]

This is what ICE says about Mexicans Never.

[C]

Do you.

[E]

Do you ever smell it again out in the wild, or.

[B]

No, no. If she walked in, you'd be like, Terry. Like, you would know the smell.

[C]

Like a bomb dog. Like Wolverine. She better be wearing a Teflon outfit. I'm going to bite her arm.

[F]

What kind.

[D]

What kind of what?

[C]

White?

[D]

Was it like, Italian, Russian, Albanian probably.

[C]

Probably like a. Like a European white. Probably.

[F]

Yikes.

[B]

It'd be amazing if she. If she murdered somebody. And the news is like, she smells like. And you're watching the news, you're like, it's got to be her. Like, you're a key witness.

[C]

Clean girl. Body odor. It was just. Something was wrong.

[B]

What's her name? I want to, like, Google it.

[C]

Google. Right. It's difficult. Last name? Very Italian.

[A]

Playing Alex. Five stories down. Where our points at?

[F]

All right. In last place with six points, Adrian Appalucci.

[B]

Climbing up, still doing good. Coming up, man, you can still come back.

[F]

Tied for third place with seven points each, Louis J. Gomez and Greg Stone.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

You're in first place.

[F]

In second place with eight points, Big J Okerson. And in the lead with 10 points.

[C]

Wow. Jumping ahead.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

What?

[B]

He's secretly gonna run away with this?

[C]

That quietly happened.

[B]

I know. I don't remember you getting a single one. Right. Well, are you playing?

[C]

I thought you stopped playing.

[E]

I think you'll remember I led the charge with the J story. The last one did it.

[C]

You did. Everyone had. Adrian.

[A]

Truly anybody's game right now.

[C]

Hey, real quick story, warriors. Let's talk about an amazing sponsor we have over here at the show, and that is knickknacks, everybody. You want a nicotine option that doesn't involve inhaling gum or pouches. You have to check out knickknack. They're fully dissolvable nicotine lozenges with six ingredients only, including xylitol. Come on. Essential oils. What? And non tobacco nicotine. You pop it in, let it dissolve. It's like a cough drop. It's available in multiple strengths. Three 6mg, nine varieties, two unflavored options. If you're just trying to, you know, help yourself, kick a habit, and it helps you out. There's a lot of states that have flavor bands now because they don't want the kid.

[A]

They don't want the kids getting them, which I understand.

[C]

Look, they don't want blacks involved.

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[C]

Yeah, I go to them for like, the. You know, I want to do hair loss prevention and weight loss. I mean. I mean, you went them for that noodle dick of yours. No, it's not a noodle dick. It's a super limp dick.

[A]

It gets really.

[C]

Really. Dude, that's crazy. That's your hard dick. That's how. That's how small your hard dick is. Damn, I thought it was soft. Okay, well, whatever. Maybe use some other weight loss products and you can get your. What size down around there, make it look bigger.

[A]

Well, when I'm in better shape, my dick does get harder, so they have a lot of products that work for me.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Call this the Louis J. Gomez package. Hair loss, weight loss, and little dick stuff.

[C]

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[A]

Man.

[C]

All right, let's get back into it.

[A]

Alex. Story number six.

[F]

Story number six. I was on a road trip and it smelled really bad. I put my hand down and then wiped my face and realized the dog threw up and it went in my mouth.

[C]

It's Greg again.

[B]

That is classic me.

[C]

It's Craig who this is. These things don't happen to people.

[A]

So punk rock to eat dog puke.

[B]

Adrian has a hundred dogs. And I have put Adrian for the last five rounds. Eventually it has to be her.

[A]

It's gotta be Adrian.

[E]

It's a good point.

[A]

This is how she sings.

[B]

She's a dog woman.

[D]

It's me. Put it down.

[A]

Adrian does have dogs.

[F]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, she does. Love to eat puke.

[F]

Yeah.

[C]

That is your Japanese culture love.

[D]

Put it down.

[B]

I'm so scared to spell your name wrong yet again. I'm just gonna put ADR ADRI E, E, I, E, I, O, E, I,

[C]

E, I, O. Greg, Greg, sound it out. Come on.

[B]

A, A.D.R. a.D.R. adrian E, A.D.R.I.

[C]

No, that's I, E, N, I before E, I, E, I, E, I, E.

[B]

Oh, you're giving that to me.

[C]

I, E, N, E. No, no, no.

[A]

How many? What?

[B]

Adrian. Adrian. There's an N in there somewhere. There is Adri.

[C]

There might be more than one.

[B]

Nah, you can't have that many ends. Too expensive.

[A]

She is from the Bronx.

[E]

She's worth it.

[B]

Yeah,

[C]

God damn right she is. You're goddamn right. Adrian spelled it wrong.

[A]

Still.

[B]

Adriani with an I. Adrian. There's a Z in there.

[A]

You just wrote adrenaline.

[C]

Do you not know how to write what you're saying?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

You said every word out loud and then wrote it.

[B]

Adrian. I was gonna write real quick. Adrian. A D, R, I, E, N E,

[A]

N, E. Anthony, do you have dogs?

[C]

Any. Any.

[A]

Adrienne?

[E]

I don't have dogs, but I. I think we. I think we know the memory Greg lost.

[A]

Greg, do you have a dog? Or did your family eat them?

[B]

My family had a billion. Funny. My. You piece of.

[D]

He's got an Asian.

[C]

They're Thai lady boys. This is me.

[D]

This is me. Put me down.

[A]

We know Adrian.

[D]

Just put me down.

[E]

Got it.

[A]

Adrian's never going to be invited to the show again.

[B]

Here's the thing. It's a fun play.

[D]

Trying to do.

[C]

She's trying to get out of this.

[A]

I'm putting Adrian. I Appaluchi. No, Adrian, you can't write your own name.

[D]

It's a. I'm doing it, baby.

[A]

Oh, you're really bothering me.

[E]

Wow, what a rule breaker she is.

[D]

That's me.

[A]

Got her.

[B]

Hey, Siri, how do you say spell Adrian? I'll wait for.

[C]

Oh, that's what I had before I. And Apple and Uchi.

[A]

All right, Everyone voted for Adrian, including Adrian Lewis.

[C]

Lewis is irate.

[A]

He gave us.

[C]

She got her too late for his speech.

[A]

Miss.

[B]

Speech.

[F]

Sports. Sport.

[C]

Not.

[A]

Hold on. Not only did she not miss a speech, I had our intern go out and tell her specifically she can't write her own name.

[C]

Our Minneapolis chapter is going to be furious. God.

[D]

Are you really?

[A]

Alex. Alex, check your text messages, all right? God. Sorry, Alex. Whose story? Whose story was it?

[F]

Story number six belongs to Adrien App Man.

[C]

He just texted Alex. Adrian isn't allowed to skank fest.

[D]

Come on. You only have three funny female comics at skank. Hey, listen, if I was doing better, I wouldn't have tanked it.

[B]

I mean, it was a strong play because it made us think that maybe it was so.

[A]

Adrian.

[F]

That was my play.

[A]

Adrian, you dumb. Tell the story. You.

[C]

You have spoiled the integrity of the game.

[A]

Jack, back off. Dumb. Dumb asshole. Go ahead, Tell the story. Stupid. Anyway, what happened? What happened when you ate dog puke, you pig.

[C]

What happened?

[D]

You had a. You had a good run.

[A]

I spelled Your name right.

[D]

You had a good run.

[A]

I spelled your name right. I could have.

[D]

How long. How long could the show.

[C]

Sanctity of the game.

[D]

How long could the show go on? How long did the show go on?

[A]

Alex, confirm. Confirm that you got my text message.

[D]

Adrian, what's gonna happen?

[C]

I'll tell you what's gonna happen. A civil suit. We're gonna jam your eyes up and work so hard, we are gonna turn you inside out. You are finished in this business. You want to put yourself on stories wars after you were explicitly told by not just Lewis, but a 21 year old,

[B]

23 year old girl.

[C]

Also told you.

[D]

He's having so much fun.

[C]

No, no, I'll tell you he's not having fun. Lewis is inside, his legs are shaking, he's rattling, and he's redder. He's native American red right now.

[D]

If they do another one, I will say it's me again.

[B]

Oh, Lewis's root canal is flaring up.

[C]

There's only two people not laughing. Lewis and Alex, because Alex has to deal with it afterwards too.

[A]

Oh, I'm pissed. We have one rule on this show, which is do not write your own name. We give a whole speech to everybody backstage. Like, guys, if there's one rule, if there's one thing you can't do, write your own name.

[D]

I'm not a great liar. I'm not a great liar.

[A]

Me neither. You suck.

[D]

That's okay.

[C]

That was humble, though.

[A]

Alex, where are our points set?

[C]

They're all the same.

[B]

Because we all voted for the.

[C]

Everything's the same.

[B]

Everything's the same. No, it's not.

[A]

We all got it right. So we get points.

[B]

Didn't we all just go up?

[F]

I mean, I didn't.

[C]

Yeah, but I'm saying. But it's the same. I also got it right.

[A]

You don't get points.

[D]

I got it right.

[A]

Maybe you should have read the rule book, Adrian.

[D]

I got it right, though.

[F]

But I got it right. Don't.

[C]

You were sent the rule book months ago.

[D]

I got it right, though.

[C]

We said learn it.

[D]

But I got it right.

[A]

§§ 15C. You cannot write your own

[B]

name. Everyone WINS But

[A]

Adrian. Section 15D, you cannot draw

[C]

penises. Oh, let's take. Let's take Adrian, like a. Like a Judge Joe Brown or something. One of those shows for spoiling the sanctity of our show. How dare

[A]

you. Oh, my

[C]

God. You bring your ass in here. You bring your ass in

[D]

here. He's real mad at me and also, like

[A]

annoying. Laugh, guys. Here. And he's Cackling in my face right now, making me more

[C]

mad. Oh, my God. Lewis is irated. Two things. And he's pointing and laughing. Lewis wants to flip the table over and dive at him. But he likes him so much. He's our biggest fan.

[A]

Sweetest. He comes to

[C]

everything. He laughs everything. But he points at you and

[A]

laughs. Somebody posted on the Reddit. That annoying laugh guy is now ruining story

[D]

wars. This is a precedent setting moment in story wars.

[C]

Yes. Now vote for yourself. Adrian, change the game, Man. Go. I'm sorry, Alex. I'll take it

[D]

over. I'm

[C]

sorry. Tell your stupid. Your dumb, stupid story

[D]

right? As being a

[C]

dumb. Your stupid, dumb c story as

[D]

being a dumb c. Probably

[A]

not. Probably not. Following the rules of the road. Go ahead. I was a

[C]

kid. You were probably speeding, you fucking

[A]

tramp. She's driving on the northbound side going

[C]

south. You crazy

[D]

cunt. I was a

[C]

kid. And throw up in your

[D]

mouth. I was a kid in the car with my parents and we had my dog in the car and it got sick and I just put my hand down and I just went like that and I got throw up in my mouth and I was like, ooh, that tastes bad. But now I'm

[C]

here. Now I'm

[D]

here. Know the reason why

[A]

I. And now I know how you felt when you put throw up in your mouth. This is what I feel right now. This

[C]

is. You have thrown up in Lewis's mouth.

[D]

Adrian. So

[A]

mad. I'm not

[D]

happy. Like, how mad are

[C]

you? Like, call me on the drive home, man. Adrian. Huh? What the. And I'll be like, I know. I think she was being funny, but like, I don't know, is

[A]

weird. We could be funny and follow the rules anyway. Alex, we're all funny. We're funny every week. We're funny every

[C]

week. The commission was put in place for a

[A]

reason. Alex, where our points at? Six stories

[F]

down. In last place with six points,

[A]

Adriana.

[B]

Good. I hope she

[C]

wins. Serves you

[F]

right.

[D]

Tied. I'm a

[C]

favorite. Tied for fan favorite.

[F]

Adrian tied for third place with 11 points each. Louis J. Gomez and Greg

[B]

Stone. No, wait, that's not first. Oh. The winner should be able to make a

[C]

rule. She's like the Dennis Rodman of story wars, dude. She don't fuck her. She plays by her own rules. One day she's going to show up dressed like a woman.

[A]

Woman.

[F]

Alex. In second place with 12 points, Big J.

[C]

Okerson knocking on the door. I'm knocking on the

[F]

door. And in the lead with 14 points, Anthony

[A]

DeVito. Anthony DeVito firsttime player, first time

[C]

player.

[A]

Alex. Two more stories. Story number

[F]

seven. Story number

[A]

seven.

[F]

Nope. In my backpack, I used to carry around Q tips dipped in fragrance. I called them smell sticks. In case of foul odor arose on the subway, I could waft a smell stick under my nose or hands them out to a fellow rider.

[A]

Rider. All

[C]

right. Can I say I thought this was Adrian reading it along until the last thing was I can't even look

[A]

at Adrian because I don't want to know if it's

[C]

Adrian. Now I'm a. I don't see Adrian handing out to others going, like, here. It smells thick. It

[D]

feels. It's

[C]

me. Whoa. That's a great move, Adrian. If you write your own name down again, Lewis is going to go to

[D]

jail. It's me,

[B]

guys.

[A]

Only. It's

[C]

me. It's only days until he's farting out of his

[D]

penis. Guys, it's me. It's me

[C]

again. Adrian, stop

[A]

this. We're going to

[C]

have. You're going to be so jammed up in court, dude. We're going to have so many different. Gomez, Judi. Yo. Judge Judy's not going to want to listen to your. Yeah. Who's

[A]

creative? I don't think it's Adrian again, because I wouldn't imagine Alex would do

[C]

two. Adrian, hand that to a fellow rider. Thing is

[A]

strange. That seems like a Greg Stone move. But he's already had two. He could have

[D]

three. He could have

[C]

three. Is it a Greg Stone move? Is he want to, like,

[A]

help? Greg's a weird, friendly

[C]

guy. Anthony, you can lie about all these things, but you went to Hawaii and stuff. Are you like a. Like a. Am I not understand? You're like a moondoggy, like, spiritual. Let's

[E]

go. That could be a kind of

[C]

a free spirit kind of incense, too. Yeah. I think this is

[D]

Anthony. It's Anthony or

[C]

Greg. Nah, Greg looks like a backpack guy. He seems like a fanny pack

[A]

guy. That's. His wife's name is Fanny

[C]

Puck. Yeah, Fanny Puck. Fanny

[B]

Puck. My wife's

[C]

name. Her name used to be Frank Puck. She's. It's okay. He's like, you're getting marker marks on the

[A]

pages. The show used to have integrity. Just last week, the resale. Just last week. When did it all go out the window? I wish you'd go on a good run, you chubby

[C]

bitch. Oh, man. That was her next

[D]

story. Listen, I could lose weight, but you'll never write a good

[C]

joke. So. Damn. Just know behind that's Anthony's

[A]

dick. Could it be Greg Having a third story

[D]

here.

[A]

It's. It's Greg or Anthony DeVito with a second

[D]

story. It's

[E]

Greg. Feels like Greg to

[C]

me. It's a Greg. It's a Greggy story.

[A]

Damn.

[D]

There. It's an Anthony

[C]

move. If it is you, and you just sold yourself. You had points coming right

[D]

there. That's an Anthony move. He just sold

[B]

it. I mean, it's literally a segment

[D]

from our podcast, Stupidest Thing Smell

[B]

Sticks. The Jimmy Smith smell sticks was an advertisement Anthony created on our podcast about 10 years ago. So this is a true story from

[E]

Anthony. We still don't know

[B]

this. Oh, we don't know

[C]

this. Is going to go home and work out for three

[A]

hours. Well, no, he's said it. He said that after everyone

[B]

votes. Yeah, everyone put it up. That's. I made sure everyone put up before I said

[E]

it. I put up

[B]

Greg. Yeah, I know you

[C]

did. Well, we'll see. I guess we will

[A]

see. Alex, seven stories down, story number

[F]

seven belongs to Anthony

[E]

DeVito.

[A]

Shocking. Everyone voted

[E]

Anthony. I'm as shocked as everybody

[B]

else. Did you think I wouldn't remember our segment the gym Jimmy Smith smell

[E]

sticks? Well, I didn't know how to play that one. Yeah, it was a nice move. I would dip them in cologne, and then if I. You know, sometimes if there was a bad smell, I would hand them out and you waft it under your nose. I thought it was, like, a very gentlemanly thing to

[C]

do. Well, it was a real turnaround from being kicked off for smelling bad. You're now the fucking. You're now the cologne Q tip

[B]

fairy. I'm not going to solve my

[C]

problem. Sorry, guys. In case I stink. Yeah. The bus driver goes, not driving another inch until you smell better. Well, hello. All

[B]

right. Why should I smell better when I can give you a smell

[C]

stick? Yeah. Rub colog your mustache. Instead of me fixing my problem, I brought that difficult

[A]

thing. How often did you give these out to people in the

[E]

subway? Not too

[C]

often. You should have worn fairy wings while you did this. I

[E]

wore. I wore a. I wore a velvet tuxedo and. No, not too. I think it only happened a couple times. And then I think people close to me were like, you can't do

[C]

that. You eat. You listened and I listened. Oh, it's beautiful. We he their warning. He's like, yeah, maybe I can't. Wow. I appreciate that.

[B]

Wow. Can I throw in a fun fact about

[C]

this?

[B]

Sure. So on our podcast, he brought up this story, and we were like, oh, we should get. We should call him the Jimmy Smith, smell sticks. We'll get him to fucking advertise it. Then I did cordon, and Jimmy Smits was also on the show. And I approached him, and I was like, hey, man, we want to see if you want to get. Give us some funding for these smell sticks. We get your face on it, you'll pay for them. And he was like, oh, that is so crazy, man. He just denied it, flat out. But I approached him about your smell sticks. You remember

[E]

that? I could have been big for

[A]

them. Jimmy Smith was an entire segment that went on to. To be pitched to Jimmy Smith. You didn't think he was gonna remember

[B]

this? It's

[E]

crazy. I knew he was gonna. That's why I was trying to play it pretty

[D]

cool. Yeah, that wasn't that

[E]

cool. I'm not saying I pulled it

[C]

off. I'm just saying I tried. Are you and Greg doing, like, a shake and bake move where you're, like, throwing. You're winging each other

[A]

around? Did you

[B]

think. Did you think I was gonna be convinced it was you? That was me. I was like, maybe I did do

[A]

this. I

[C]

did. I am the one who met Jimmy

[E]

Smith. Yeah, that was. That would have been my only thing with you would have went, I think I did

[B]

that. It's very

[A]

possible. Shout to Alex. Seven stories down. Where our points at? Not that they

[F]

matter. In Last place, with 10 points, Adrien

[B]

Appalucci. Oh, man, it's a good

[C]

10.

[F]

Disgusting. In fourth place. Place with 14 points, Anthony

[C]

DeVito. Yeah. Lewis just threw Adrian's kiss to the ground. Stomped it out. It's serious over here. She's texting a new Puerto

[F]

rican. Tied for second place with 15 points each, Lewis J. Gomez and Greg

[B]

Stone. We got to get

[A]

there. We got it, baby. No way, dude. Did you win last week? Oh, my God. If he gets two weeks in a row. It's

[F]

wild. And in the lead with 16 points, Big J

[A]

Okerson. This is insane. Big J. I mean, have you. Has your streak been broken? Is this it? What, are you good at the game now?

[C]

No. I don't know. Maybe if I get two in a row. We'll see. Next story's mine, by the

[A]

way. We have one more story, folks. Are you guys ready for your final

[C]

story? Yeah. Before that, let me remind you what's hanging in the balance here. Ladyboys, the Secret World of Thailand's Third Gender by Susan Aldous and Porn. Chai Siri Mangkong Gong Kompool Ladybox Boys is written by journalist Susan Aldous and Thai writer Pornchai Serim Khad Khampul. Combining an outside perspective with local insight, the book focuses on real lives instead of stereotypes, offering a clear and human look at a culture that approaches gender differently than the west while showing the personal cost of living

[B]

openly. Yeah, I really need this

[C]

book. Adrian, a

[D]

question. Do you guys get paid to read

[C]

this? But

[E]

no. Oh, it's a passion

[A]

project. That's actually a great scam. We can have people send their books in and they have to pay us in order to promote their

[C]

books. Yeah, great idea,

[A]

Adrian. You're forgiven. Hold on. Adrian just made us a good 300

[E]

each. That

[C]

is. Nothing would be better if this next story is 18 Adrian's and she just tells you again it's hers and nothing changes and I just win. I'll accept

[A]

it, Alex. Our final story. Story number

[D]

eight. Don't pick my story. Don't pick my

[F]

story. Story number eight. I caused a mass vomiting incident at work and made four people throw up one after

[A]

another. I think this is a plot point from Problem Child, the movie from 1989.

[C]

Louis. Oh, also Louis, Lard ass from standby.

[D]

Me. This is

[A]

Lewis. You think it's

[D]

me? Yeah, I saw the way you react to when they. They read

[A]

it. Maybe I don't. I mean it's not. It's not. I mean, the last time I had a day job, I worked at a high end gym. It would have been a pretty big story if at Equinox everyone was vomiting on each

[C]

other. If they're working out hard, if they're doing it right, if they're putting in the. I think it's Adrian and I think she's terrified to vote for herself

[E]

again. I don't think she

[C]

is. I think she

[B]

knows. She

[C]

doesn't. She doesn't think you hit women, but she thinks you can be pushed to the point. Oh yeah, there's a. I would

[D]

love to sue Gas

[A]

Digital. Sue us for

[D]

what? Abaluchee versus

[C]

Guest. Oh, Adrian, bring Grass Digital to its

[A]

speed. Greg Stone. Greg Stone. Greg

[C]

Stone.

[A]

Great. Here's the thing, Greg. What I've noticed about Greg in this game is that he always has great stories. That's the thing about Greg. He can't. Not pro. He can't do like a. Like me and Jay, we play the game so much that sometimes it's like, yeah, one time I went for a walk. And that's the whole story. But Greg wants to have fun. Big stories with big

[B]

payoffs. I call people about my stories. I go, hey, what's a fun fun? And I Make sure people remind me of my

[A]

stuff.

[B]

Yeah. Very into it. I love this

[A]

show. I mean, Big J, the last time he had a job, I think he was 17 years old, he worked at a record store. That was the last day job that he

[C]

had. Yeah. CD

[A]

store. Greg Stone, is this

[B]

you? I. I know how to. I don't know how to play this because I know I could. Look, look, I figured it out,

[A]

so. So you want to

[B]

win? I want to win more than I've ever wanted anything in my

[C]

life. Coming over from

[E]

there. I don't know. Four people seems too specific to be a Greg

[B]

story. I'm not good with numbers.

[E]

Right. That's what I mean. Lewis charge on this, man. I'm going with

[A]

Lewis. It's possible. Let's

[C]

see. This could have been a

[A]

Lewis. So right now, me and Greg are tied for

[B]

second.

[A]

Ooh. I'm going. I think we got a third story here from Greg Stone. It's possible. That's what I think is happening

[C]

here. It's very, very

[A]

possible. If it was Adrian, she would have already said it to my face. An annoying laugh guy would have

[C]

cackled in my ear, dude, you crossed the line. She sees you're serious and that you. You might bite

[B]

her. Are you guys. I remember when Anthony told me this

[C]

story. That's not. Oh,

[B]

no. I thought it was up. I thought it was up. That's

[D]

up. That's

[B]

up. That's

[A]

up. Greg thinks Greg's playing the game. Greg's playing the game

[C]

again.

[A]

Wow. Oh, my

[B]

God. You just

[A]

lost. This is crazy. Alex, all of our answers are in. Who does story number eight belong

[F]

to? Story number eight belongs to

[C]

Greg.

[E]

What? Oh, my

[C]

God.

[B]

Wow. Really? Well played,

[A]

Jay. Greg, tell us this

[B]

story. Oh, my God. So I feel weird because the first one was so, so disgusting. Can I. You want the full disgusting version of what happened

[A]

here? We want the

[C]

truth. This isn't laid on

[B]

us. Absolutely crazy thing that happened with. I was working in the hospital and Sim. It's almost similar to the other story. There was a person who was. This is kind of. I'm sorry. So backed up. They were so backed up. They couldn't. They weren't for, like,

[A]

weeks. What section of the ER did you work

[B]

in? The dick and one. Only the dick and. Yeah, the dick and one wing. Specifically on the dick and wing

[C]

with a focus of dick

[B]

farts. They're like, we got a dick thing. Send the G man in. I'll. Anyway, so, yeah, this guy was so backed up that, like, what could happen is you could eventually vomit. I'm not gonna go further. You get that could happen, right? And I. I forgot the name of the thing. It's called so you could fucking throw a poop. Right. So this. I had to be with this patient because I was. I was a patient satisfaction guy, so I had to make sure everyone's gonna blow

[C]

him. Yeah. It's like, are you satisfied? No. Maybe some light ball play will help. It is

[B]

weird. He was hard the whole time, which is like. This has nothing to do with the fucking vomiting. So I'm with him the whole time. And we. The doctor was like, hey, just want, you know, it's a very possible this guy could vomit something. That would be literally the grossest smelling thing. It could be. She could vomit, like, almost shit or it looks like it's whatever. And so I'm sitting there and I'm like, I can't do. I don't know if I could do this. The patient I saw, I didn't technically set it off. The patient threw up. I smelled it. I threw up. The nurse sees me throw up, she throws up. And then. So it was really like three of us. We look at each other. We all threw up. And then we. Let's never speak of this again. And we all just walked the patient up and we just walked

[A]

out. You guys all went the

[C]

Aristocrats. Yeah, yeah,

[B]

yeah. But it was the grossest thing in the world and we all threw

[C]

up.

[B]

Yeah. I shouldn't have told

[A]

story. Great story. Alex, where are our points at? Make it

[B]

official. Damn, this fucked

[F]

up. In last place with 10 points, Adrian Apolucci. In fourth place with 14 points, Anthony DeVito. Second place is a tie with 19 points each. And your winner tonight with 20 points, Big J

[C]

Okerson. You were here on one of the

[A]

nights. Speech. Speech. Speech.

[F]

Speech.

[A]

Speech.

[B]

Speech. Speech.

[C]

Speech. Speech. It's been two. It's been two in a row. I can't put this on myself. I have to put it on. The lazy effort of Adrian Apolucci. The horrific, bluffing face of Greg Stone. I owe this to them, the people. This isn't. This book isn't for me. This is your book. This is your book. Two in a row, everybody. And you can read every. We all can read. The streak begins, everybody. Two. Two on the

[A]

streak. Thank you. Double

[C]

points. Thank you, double boy. Thank you so much to our amazing panel. Greg Stone, Anthony DeVito, Adrian Apolucci. Thank you guys so much for hanging out here on Story Worlds. We'll catch you next time, everyone. I'm Big J.

[A]

Okerson. I'm Louis Shay

[C]

Gomez. Until next time, everyone. Peace,