085. Pete Lee, Zac Amico, Dru Montana | Luck

Summary

Story Warz Ep. 085 Summary

Episode Title: Luck
Date: March 20, 2026
Host: GaS Digital Network
Location: The Stand Comedy Club, NYC
Panel: Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, Pete Lee, Zak Amico, Drew Montana
Theme: LUCK

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Episode Overview

The 85th episode of Story Warz centers on the theme of "luck" and features a panel of comedians who compete in a game of deceptive storytelling. Returning favorites and guest comics try to outwit each other with their most fortunate (and misfortunate) stories, all while trying to fool the others about the story’s true owner. The episode is packed with clever banter, sharp insults, unexpected sincerity, and a running tally of whose life is the most outrageous (or unlucky).

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Game Setup and Player Introductions

[01:12 – 06:25]

• Big Jay Okerson kicks off by explaining the rules: panelists submit stories on the theme of luck, and everyone but the story’s author tries to guess who wrote each one.
• Luis J. Gomez emphasizes points for guessing correctly and for successfully deceiving others.
• Grand prize: Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey.
• Banter about preparing stories, traffic, and who holds the record (Drew Montana: "highest scoring free Story Warrior")
• Pete Lee jokes about being a "rule follower," owning a Tesla, and being sponsored by Liquid Death ("I look like Nate Bergazzi and hate Bergazzi" [04:10]).

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2. Gameplay: Story Highlights & Panel Banter

Story 1: Pumping Gas with Engine Running

[07:49 – 13:22]

• Author: Drew Montana
• The group riffs on breaking safety rules, word choice (“smithereens gives me Pete Lee vibes"), and voice-to-text mishaps.
• Drew confesses this story was written at the gas station just before the show.
• QUOTE: "Smithereens is a good word, but we're not falling for your wigger horseshit anymore." — Lewis J. Gomez [14:02]

Story 2: Brick Thrown at Head Outside Comedy Club

[15:11 – 22:23]

• Author: Luis J. Gomez
• The panel remembers similar events—or the lack thereof—in their own lives.
• Jay can’t recall ever hearing the story, and Luis admits he banked on Jay’s poor memory.
• QUOTE: "I just really banked on Jay never listening to my stories." — Luis J. Gomez [21:24]

Story 3: Neighbor Accidentally Gifts a Tesla

[25:33 – 34:06]

• Author: Pete Lee
• Pete reveals a neighbor, after buying a Tesla while high, gave Pete the old Tesla.
• Pete paid $10,000 for the “gift,” missing the opportunity for a storybook sexual favor.
• Zach Amico’s meta-joke: "So you drove Nico's LA Tesla. Nice." [34:21]
• The panel marvels at financial "luck" and Pete’s deadpan delivery.

Story 4: Everyone in the Car Has a Warrant

[36:02 – 52:13]

• Author: Big Jay Oakerson
• Jay recounts being pulled over, cops finding weed, and all three individuals having unrelated warrants (his own for overdue porn rentals).
• The group laughs at the white privilege on display in arrest stories—versus Drew’s recent, similar experience where only the black friend is arrested.
• QUOTE: "I can't write boring stories to appease you guys." — Big Jay Oakerson [45:46]

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3. Mid-Show Scores

[53:53 – 57:21]

• Pete Lee in the lead after a strong, drunken showing.
• Double points kick in for stories 5–8, raising the stakes.

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4. Gameplay Continues: Stories 5–8 (Double Points)

Story 5: Faking a Breakup for Revenge Sex

[58:10 – 63:12]

• Author: Zak Amico
• Zak faked being dumped to sleep with a recently single woman, who has since died.
• The group jokes about Zak "putting bodies on him" and being a magnet for the tragic.
• QUOTE: "Two on me. This ain't me, though. ... [pause] I've been with my chick forever. If she saw this, she'd fucking kill me." — Zak Amico [59:04]

Story 6: DUI Averted Thanks to Meth House Fire

[65:37 – 71:10]

• Author: Pete Lee
• Pete, extremely drunk, waits through several light cycles at an intersection with police behind him. The cop pulls him over, but lets him go after a meth house catches fire nearby.
• This, everyone agrees, is peak "white luck."
• QUOTE: "I've never been in a hot tub." — Drew Montana, failing to sell his innocence [76:57]

Story 7: Left a Stoner in a Hot Tub; Helped Find Their Weed

[76:26 – 84:20]

• Author: Drew Montana
• Drew admits to stealing and smoking a friend’s weed while they were asleep in a hot tub, then helping hunt for it later.
• The group roasts each other’s stoner and youth credentials.
• QUOTE: "He was like, what happened to all my weed? We were like, I don't know, man, we should look for it." — Drew Montana [84:06]

Story 8: Total Las Vegas Bust (Lost Money & Girlfriend)

[86:37 – 94:41]

• Author: Luis J. Gomez
• Losing all his money playing blackjack and left wandering casino floors, Luis is fairly certain his girlfriend cheated on him that night. He milled around for weed instead.

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5. Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Pete Lee’s drunkenness (throughout): "Dude, I'm drunk. I'm." [64:58]; “I don't know where I'm at right now." [69:12]
• Zach Amico’s deadpan: "I'm all folds and cannot walk away nor run." [90:08]
• Drew’s quick-thinking gas station story-writing.
• Banter on white privilege and police: "To sit through three green and red lights...That is only one white man: Pete Lee." — Big J Okerson [66:27]
• Luis’ Vegas heartbreak: "She was a real c...and I lost every diamond, milled around the casino…I found free weed." [93:22–94:07]

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Segment Timestamps

| Segment | Timestamp Range | |--------------------------------------------|------------------------| | Intros, Rules, Prizes | 01:12 – 07:49 | | Story 1: Pumping Gas / Smithereens | 07:49 – 13:22 | | Story 2: Brick at Comedy Club | 15:11 – 22:23 | | Story 3: Tesla Lottery | 25:33 – 34:06 | | Story 4: Warrants for All | 36:02 – 52:13 | | Mid-show recap, plugs | 53:53 – 57:21 | | Story 5: Revenge Breakup Sex | 58:10 – 63:12 | | Story 6: DUI vs. Meth House | 65:37 – 71:10 | | Story 7: Hot Tub & Stolen Weed | 76:26 – 84:20 | | Story 8: Las Vegas Down & Out | 86:37 – 94:41 | | Scoring & Wrap-up | 94:41 – 95:40 |

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Final Scores

• Luis J. Gomez: 26 points (WINNER)
• Drew Montana: 19 points (2nd place)
• Pete Lee & Big J Okerson: 12 points (Tied / 3rd place)
• Zach Amico: 8 points (4th place, but “1st place joke wise” per Alex)

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Tone and Character

• The panel showcases quick wit, self-aware self-deprecation, dark humor, and constant riffing.
• Running jokes about race, class, alleged criminal activity, and each other’s questionable life choices.
• Irreverence and camaraderie; the gang frequently break from the game to roast each other or dissect one another’s punchlines.

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Standout Quotes

• On privilege and luck:
  “To sit through three green and red lights...That is only one white man: Pete Lee.”
  — Big J Okerson [66:27]
• On deceptive storytelling:
  “Smithereens is a good word, but we're not falling for your wigger horseshit anymore.”
  — Lewis J. Gomez [14:02]
• On storytelling fatigue:
  “Can I just do Alex's job on the show? … I can't write boring stories to appease you guys.”
  — Big J Okerson [45:46]
• On strategy:
  “I just really banked on Jay never listening to my stories.”
  — Lewis J. Gomez [21:24]
• On panel dynamics:
  "Worst kept secret in comedy, bro. Worst skip secret in comedy."
  — Big J Okerson about Pete Lee [65:24]

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Final Thoughts

This episode of Story Warz is a comedic masterclass in storytelling, misdirection, and genuine comic rapport. Each panelist brings their best (or most ridiculous) stories of luck to the table, with the result often being unexpected, painfully honest, or just plain absurd. Bright spots include Pete Lee’s accidental gain and loss of a Tesla, Luis’ Vegas disaster, and Drew's stoner hijinks—all peppered with the panel’s relentless roasting. The luckiest one at the end of the night? Luis J. Gomez, who (barely) keeps Steve Harvey’s wisdom in the family.

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Transcript

[Alex]

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[Big J Okerson]

Last year, I went through many different life changes.

[Pete Lee]

I needed to take a pause and

[Big J Okerson]

examine how I was feeling in the inside to better show up for the ones who need me to be my best version of myself.

[Alex]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Alex]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

distance relationship, becoming a first stepfather, Talkspace

[Big J Okerson]

made all of those journeys possible.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I could speak with my therapist in the office. I could speak with my therapist in

[Zach Amico]

the comfort of my home.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was never alone.

[Alex]

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[Big J Okerson]

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[Alex]

fill her up. You're listening to the Gas Digital Network,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's story war with the story warriors, big j okerson and lewis j. Go.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Holy shit. Oh, what is up, New York City? Make some noise in here for me, please, will you? Welcome to Story wars at our home, the New York Comedy Club, right here in New York City. Thank you guys for being here. I always ask this, how many people are familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's pretty good. Is there anybody in the room that is not familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Pete Lee]

Boo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get the out, you losers. We don't want new fans.

[Pete Lee]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll forgive them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're gonna enjoy it.

[Big J Okerson]

This is gonna be the first time they're gonna learn it. We'll explain the game if you're unfamiliar with it once we get our amazing panel up here. Our first contestant on Story wars tonight, you know from the Do Rag and the Deer Tag podcast, you also known from Digital Bazooka, which me and Lewis had the pleasure of doing. Very, very fun. One of Philly's finest, the hilarious Drew Montana in the house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Drew Montana. Back on Story wars, if I'm not mistaken, not only a story warrior, but the highest winning story, the highest score free Story Warrior in the history of the show.

[Alex]

Something like that, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You're the presence of a legend.

[Alex]

Yeah, the legend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah, dude. Have you been preparing for this One last time you came in very prepared.

[Alex]

I. No, you texted me two hours ago. I had. I had to scramble here and speed from Philadelphia through traffic and talk to text four stories into the thing. But I got my baddest white boy alive, hooded on, ready to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude, I think I speak for everyone in this room when I say white power, my friend.

[Alex]

Yeah, happy Black History Month. You know what I'm saying?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Our second competitor, another returning Story wars competitor, ladies and gentlemen, on tour right now and has a 2001 special. Tall, dark, and pleasant. Clap it up for Pete Lee.

[Big J Okerson]

Peter Lee.

[Pete Lee]

Hi, guys. How are you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Very good. Pete, last time you were on the show, you had a great show and you were hammered.

[Pete Lee]

I was hammered. My. My tour dates have been full of you guys, and you're like, dude, you were so hammered, but so funny. And I'm like, I don't remember. So maybe I'll remember this one. This is my first drink.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell, yeah.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You always look very dapper when you come on the show, Pete. I appreciate that.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, thank you. Yeah, I. I put on. This is a new. I'm one of the owners of Liquid Death, and I'm. I'm sponsored by them, and so I put on my new death hat, but then wearing a golf shirt, and I like. I. I look like Nate Bergazzi and hate Bergazzi.

[Big J Okerson]

Our third. Not last but not least, I think a Story Warrior. Our final contestant. He might be a Story Warrior. It's not on our sheet. He is, in fact, a story warrior, returning to defend that crown from Zak Amico's Morning Zoo on Gas Digital, as well as Zack Amigo's midnight spook show and the Real Ass podcast, It's Zach Amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, how many times you been on the show now, Trace? Three times. This is your third one, or this your fourth?

[Zach Amico]

My third one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's your third one. Very cool. And you a one and one record.

[Zach Amico]

But, yeah, I lost to you in overtime, and I won one.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Zacho is very good at Story Wars. And Zach, Kiko, I got to be honest with you, looking pretty jacked.

[Zach Amico]

Thanks, buddy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Have you been working out?

[Zach Amico]

Nothing's working out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I promise.

[Zach Amico]

I'm here.

[Big J Okerson]

I was going to say, too. Louis jumped the gun, everybody. If it is your first time listening or your first time here at Story wars, it is a very simple game. All five of us on this panel, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular topic. Tonight's topic, luck. Alex, our lovely producer, is gonna take eight of those stories and read them one at a time. It'll appear here on the screen. If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to fool people that it's not your story? If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every time you guess the story correctly, you get two points. And every time you fool a person on the panel, you get one point. So when it's your story, you have an opportunity to get four points. It's a very big moment if it's your story. So make sure you guys are doing a good job at being deceitful and lying to your fellow competitors. Once you write your answer on the dry erase board, put it in this slot and remove your hand.

[Zach Amico]

That's it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's your final answer. You cannot change it after that. And I'll tell you right now, this is so much fun. All the new people here, we were booing you before. We're just messing with you. You're gonna have a lot of fun tonight. But you know what? We're not playing for fun. Jay, let them know what we're playing for.

[Big J Okerson]

Today.

[Pete Lee]

We found the mushroom dealer.

[Big J Okerson]

Every week here on Story Awards, we are playing for a book from the Story awards library. Tonight's winner takes home Act Like a lady, Think like a Man by Steve Harvey. The man, the myth, the teeth. Act Like a la Think like a Man explains Steve Harvey's take on how men think about dating, sex, commitment, and marriage. He argues that men are driven by identity, ambition, and financial stability, and that understanding those priorities helps women better interpret a man's actions, mixed signals and level of seriousness. From the very beginning, It is everything to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We will not lose this book, Jay. Over my dead body are we losing

[Big J Okerson]

this book over my day.

[Zach Amico]

You look like Telemundo. Steve Harvey.

[Big J Okerson]

Steve Yarvey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stephen. Javier.

[Big J Okerson]

Stephen.

[Pete Lee]

Stephen.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, Harvey. Mr. RB.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please call me Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

I think everybody that gets it is gonna get it. I think it's time to start this bitch. Alexandra, please. Story number one.

[Producer Alex]

Story number one. Every time I put gas in my car, I do it while the engine is running. I've never been blown to smithereens.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I will say that I do leave my car on every time I fill it up. And I'm here right now. Never been blown to smart.

[Big J Okerson]

I only turned it off because Christine has like that freaks her out. It's the only time I ever turned it up. I've never not just left it running completely.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I don't believe that you can get blown to smithereens and I'll text

[Big J Okerson]

at the same time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everything.

[Big J Okerson]

They say explode your car, I text. While I'm pumping gas, I smoke cigarettes.

[Alex]

I spray it on my friends. I like cigarettes.

[Big J Okerson]

I rub balloons on my head while I'm doing it, start touching metal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't turn my phone on airplane mode on flights.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh. I throw the cigarette on the ground and try to put it out with the gas

[Zach Amico]

while walking away and not looking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I will say the word smithereens is giving me Petely vibes.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. I. I am a rule follower, though. I don't know. Act like a lady

[Alex]

but think like

[Pete Lee]

a man, which is not me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Pete has a guy pump gas for him.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Here's what I'll say. Zach Mikko does not drive, nor can he fit in a car. So I will say that I don't think this is Zach's story. He's discounted.

[Zach Amico]

In my mind, I. I am the only opener who has to get chauffeured by.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

By a tow truck.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, put Zack, you got to bring Zach in a pod behind the car.

[Pete Lee]

I've known Zach for 10 years, and this is the first time that I'm sitting next to you, going, you're a big guy.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I'm sizable.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Tight squeeze up on this stage.

[Big J Okerson]

Were you always above him when you saw him or something?

[Pete Lee]

No, he.

[Alex]

Do you see him from a thousand yards away?

[Big J Okerson]

What are you talking about? That guy's a pea.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let me squish him. I'm gonna squish him.

[Big J Okerson]

Look, Zach. Zach, right there.

[Zach Amico]

That coke is really full.

[Pete Lee]

It's always a math equation. If a train leaves Philadelphia and Zach Amico is in the distance. Okay, that sucked.

[Zach Amico]

All right, so we need to break something down here, because it said whenever I pump gas.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yep.

[Zach Amico]

Louis and Jay live in New Jersey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is true.

[Big J Okerson]

That is fair. But let me give you a fairness to say, though, but I don't always drive into. When I drive your car, I pump gas plenty.

[Alex]

Yeah, I was gonna say you can pump gas anywhere. I also do this. I've left my car running every single time. I think the word smithereens is very funny, though. That's. It feels like Pete.

[Big J Okerson]

It.

[Pete Lee]

I'll say it sounds very. Talk to text.

[Big J Okerson]

Pete. Pete. I don't want to show my hand early, but I was thinking the same thing from the beginning. This had Drew Montana all over it. Yeah, it's funny. Smithereens is funny, and you pointed that out to us to make sure we knew.

[Alex]

I am funny, but, yeah, I don't think talk to text would pick up smithereens, and I'm willing to bet it right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please give it a check.

[Zach Amico]

If there's enough of them in the car yelling it will.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Will talks to text, pick up Smithereens.

[Big J Okerson]

He knows it's because he tried it earlier a bunch and his voice wouldn't do it. So then he had to just text and drive. Yeah.

[Alex]

Smithereens. Oh, shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It did.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Alex]

Wow, perfect spelling. That's crazy.

[Pete Lee]

That was really good acting just now.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Zach Amico]

Not to sway Jerry, but the person who came up with this story most recently was sitting in their car writing out the stories. So he probably was looking at his car thinking something car related.

[Alex]

So it's Louis for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Says Lewis written all over it as well. Pete, you live here now? Do you have a car here?

[Pete Lee]

No, I don't. I don't.

[Big J Okerson]

So, yeah, everything I put in the car sounds very current. Well, when you lived in la, you lived in la. But I mean, like, that's. But you wouldn't say every time I put it. Oh, and you had a Tesla.

[Pete Lee]

I did a Tesla because I really believe in that guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I know. Tesla can't be responsible for what the guy does in his recreation time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but, you know, Pico's on the road a lot. He's a road dog. He rents cars. I'm sure all the time. Nobody's renting a Tesla. That seems like a goddamn nightmare.

[Pete Lee]

I. I actually do. They're, like, 19. Nobody wants them now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think Drew Montana. Drew Montana is good at this game. And now I'm thinking maybe this could be him. But it's either Pete or Drew. I'm gonna go with my answer voting going Drew. Smithereen Montana.

[Alex]

That's a bad answer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let's see. Right here.

[Big J Okerson]

It might be, but I think. Oh, it's just my name on the back of this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It does erase it. Weird me.

[Pete Lee]

That's funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really, Zach. It does say a car. Maybe Zach's. This could be Zach. Oh, it could be.

[Zach Amico]

Stop doing an impression of me.

[Alex]

It's not me.

[Pete Lee]

Is that awake apnea?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm sorry.

[Pete Lee]

I love you. Don't say it back.

[Alex]

Smithereens is a very funny word. Zach and Pete are both funnier than me, so.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Alex]

There you go. All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There we go. Alex. All of our answers are in who has never been blown to smithereens.

[Producer Alex]

Story number one belongs to Drew Montana.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Alex]

Yeah, the story kind of explains itself. I'm here, not in smithereens. But I did. I had two good stories written down, and I was sitting at the Sunoco getting gas in my car on the way here. And I couldn't think of a third. And I talked to text to this one as my car was running and an Indian guy was pumping gas into it. And I was like, maybe Alex will pick the other stories. But I'm sorry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a good story. It's all right.

[Pete Lee]

By the way, thanks for bringing smithereens to the show.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that was really good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Smithereens is a good word, but we're not falling for your wigger horseshit anymore. Usually, usually we assume it's going to be some sort of like hip hop y rhyming scheme when it's Drew's story, but not anymore.

[Alex]

I think the last time I did something story wars in my story, I wrote as the day is Long. I tried to. I tried to blame it on Jay and they were like, it's true.

[Big J Okerson]

If you were like fingering some in my hoopdy, you'd probably be looking your way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at after one story?

[Producer Alex]

In last place with zero points, Zach Amico.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that a gld chain? Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Producer Alex]

In fourth place with one point, drew montana.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Producer Alex]

And tied for first place with two points each, lewis j. Gomez, big j. Okerson and pete lee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And Turkey.

[Big J Okerson]

And Turkey again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, Story number two.

[Producer Alex]

Story number two. Once, while standing outside of a comedy club, someone threw a brick at my head. Luckily, it missed.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Pete Lee]

That's the luckiest thing I've ever heard of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach. Hold on. Zach has a story, but it wasn't outside of a comedy club. Somebody threw a cinder block at you once.

[Zach Amico]

It was standing on your doorstep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, and I threw the cinder block.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, somebody threw a cinder block at me. When you used to live in Harlem.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah, but that's not a comic.

[Alex]

Yeah, no, Cinder block's a heavy thing to throw.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is for exactly how big was

[Alex]

the guy you were fighting?

[Big J Okerson]

Technically, anywhere not in a comedy club is outside of a comedy club.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's also true. A cinder block is a Zach size brick.

[Big J Okerson]

That's true.

[Alex]

I don't know why I think again, this is Pete, but I mean, the last one was me. His voice, me. But yeah, he seems like he's been in a lot of altercations.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, I have been in a lot of altercations.

[Big J Okerson]

Pizza Dafit, though. And then he gets drunk and fuck knows what's going on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pizza. Sweet. Until he has three drinks and then he's actually racist. Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

[Pete Lee]

I'm racist when I'm sober.

[Zach Amico]

You're a two shotzi Nazi.

[Big J Okerson]

Let's go up to guys. Girlfriends. He's going up to guys, girlfriends. And be like, fuck me if I'm wrong, but you want to blow me, right?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You want to blow me to smithereens, right? Yeah. Could this be? I can't imagine somebody throwing a brick at Pete Lee's head.

[Pete Lee]

What would I have to say for that to happen?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Marry me.

[Pete Lee]

I am a marriage hobbyist. I get married a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. A hobbyist, he says that's less gay than pickleball.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I will say Drew lives in Philadelphia, which is a dangerous, dangerous area when there's bricks just all about on

[Alex]

the streets for no reason.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, the government puts them there, so we start problems with each other.

[Alex]

I've had a lot of comedy beefs in my days, so this could be me, but I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Could it be two stories in a row for Drew Montana this early?

[Big J Okerson]

I. I thought right away it was Drew again, but two in a row is not. Doesn't happen a lot just by the odds, but it can happen. It's happened many times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, Big J Okerson did grow up in the Philly comedy scene. I don't want to. It was the black circuit, which, you know, those people can be rowdy sometimes.

[Pete Lee]

He did get tackled on stage in

[Big J Okerson]

an Eagles jersey that was in a white.

[Alex]

Have you. Have you ever been in a fight outside of a comedy club, Louis?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Me?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Me and Lewis were in a fight together inside of.

[Alex]

That's what I'm saying. It's like the. The odds of this being anybody. It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was in a viral fight outside of a comedy club two weeks ago.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I. I'm trying to remember. Like, me and Lou, we would. Knows about each other because one of us would have been involved in the other. It's. It's.

[Pete Lee]

You guys have.

[Zach Amico]

I shouldn't have, like, checked that brick?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. You guys have a comedy festival where there are fights. Like, fights.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, that's not true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In the ring. Oh, he's saying.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, yeah, that's what I meant.

[Alex]

It's tasers and stuff like that, but no bricks.

[Pete Lee]

What if that's next year's fighting challenge?

[Big J Okerson]

Bricks.

[Pete Lee]

Brick fights.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, maybe it's a brick of weed and it's true.

[Alex]

That'd be fun. But no, I. I don't know who this one is. This one could be anybody.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Pete Lee or Big J vibes on this one.

[Alex]

I thought it was Pete, and then you said Zach. It's not Zach, is it? No.

[Big J Okerson]

How the fuck I feel how do you miss Zach with a brick? Yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Yeah,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

if you want to shoot Zach, you could just point the gun straight in the air and you'll hit him.

[Zach Amico]

It's like shooting a barrel in a barrel. Drew, you look like you say it's brick outside because you heard a black guy say it once.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, damn. Yo.

[Alex]

It has been brick outside, but bet now it's temperate. Oh, God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think Pete Lee is an under the radar shitster. And I bet he got hammered at a comedy club. Yeah, and somebody who's just offended and chucked a brick in his head.

[Pete Lee]

I gotta be honest. The only thing that I wouldn't do is I wouldn't put a comma after once and then not put a comma after. Luckily, it missed.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, that could be producer error.

[Pete Lee]

Oh, that could be Alex.

[Alex]

It's also a excuse. Dude, it's you. It's definitely

[Lewis J. Gomez]

if it's. If it's Drew. It's crazy. Two stories in a row this early in the game. Should be against the rules, but we can't change the rules.

[Alex]

Are the rules, though, Louis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They do. We do randomly generate the stories in whatever order.

[Big J Okerson]

That's the rules. That's what's good about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is true.

[Big J Okerson]

You're right.

[Alex]

Is the rules.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But you know what? I'm gonna get the voting going again early. Pete Lee is my answer here. Pete Brickley.

[Pete Lee]

Pete Brickley. I like that nickname.

[Alex]

Following that,

[Big J Okerson]

am I a maniac for putting Drew?

[Pete Lee]

Oh, yeah, you are. I am going with Lewis.

[Zach Amico]

No, I'm sticking with my strategy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your hand is you.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, well, is it you, dude?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is it?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know why these people think it is all of a sudden.

[Alex]

That was supposed to be a brick, but I forgot how to draw 3D objects. I got halfway.

[Big J Okerson]

You just got to connect the corners, man.

[Alex]

I got halfway, and I was real confident, and I said, what do I do next?

[Zach Amico]

I think that Brick made contact.

[Big J Okerson]

Is this Drew? You guys think it's Drew? You think it's Lewis, Bro, you would

[Lewis J. Gomez]

have heard the story about me, Jay.

[Alex]

Jay, you would have heard this story about me. We're best friends.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Now that makes me really doubt the thing because. Yeah, you would have told us on a podcast.

[Big J Okerson]

Definitely is not Pete.

[Alex]

Is it not Pete?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Lewis Alex, whose story is story number two.

[Producer Alex]

Story number two belongs to Lewis J. Gomez.

[Alex]

Oh, my God. I knew it. Oh, my God, I knew it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I. I just really banked on Jay never listening to my stories.

[Alex]

I feel like I've heard you Tell this story on a podcast.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I might have told it on a podcast at one point, but, yeah, most of your story.

[Big J Okerson]

That new one where that guy beat you up in Austin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on, dude, I checked. I checked that second leg gig.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, that's right, you did. Rogan didn't see that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Rogan didn't see it, though. Yeah, this was in Canada, I think I want to say Toronto. Ryan Long was there and Rob May was there. That's what I remember. And the person, I don't know if they were trying to hit me with a brick. All it is, we were all standing outside of a comedy club and it was a drive by br. Bricking. Somebody just threw a brick at the group and it whizzed by my head. It went that way.

[Big J Okerson]

Deanny, take a brick to the face, eh?

[Pete Lee]

What's that about?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And yeah, it whiz right by my head. And I was like, holy. And it smashed onto the ground. We're like, dude, I almost died outside of a comedy show where I sold 51 tickets.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, dude, if you only would have sold 50, that never would have happened. It was that 51st to send it

[Lewis J. Gomez]

over the edge, but luckily it missed. Alex two stories down. Where our points at?

[Producer Alex]

In last place with one point, Drew Montana.

[Big J Okerson]

Come on, come on.

[Producer Alex]

Tied for third place with two points each, Big J. Okerson and Zach Amico. And tied for the lead with four points each, Luis J. Gomez and Pete Lee.

[Big J Okerson]

It's anybody's game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, did you remember me telling that story? Is that why you knew it was me?

[Zach Amico]

Nope.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Just made the assumption.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You just like, who deserves to get a head in the head.

[Zach Amico]

Who do I want to throw a brick at right now?

[Big J Okerson]

Story warriors, let's thank our sponsor for today's show, and that is Prize Picks. Boy, do I love Prize picks. It's America's number one favorite daily fantasy sports app. This is good for people like you too, Louis, who don't know a ton about sports. But you have a lot of friends that watch it. You want to have a reason to care. It's very, very simple system. You just pick two or more players, two to six, I believe you can go up to across any sport and you're just playing against their their projected stats. So if they project somebody's going to score three touchdowns, you can say you think they're going to score more or less. You pick a name, you can go. You don't have to know that much about sports to make this very, very fun. And if you know a lot about sports, Maybe even funner. They also now have early payouts, which means you can cash out your winnings before the game even finishes. They let you see friends lineups. You can send them your picks. You can copy and paste their picks into your lineup. They're, they're growing every single day. It's an evolving site and they are really keeping up with everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All you got to do right now is download the prize Picks app today and use the Code Wars W A R z to get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup. That's code Wars W A R z to get 50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Price picks. It's good to be right. All right, folks, let's take a quick moment and thank GLD for supporting Story wars, longtime sponsor at this point. I love gld. They make high quality pieces and amazing prices. You don't have to pay a lot of money for jewelry. They have legit jewelry of all kinds for men and women. I love my Cuban links chain. You guys probably have seen me wearing it. Very, very cool. I got James the chain as well. They have pendants, rings, earrings, watches, real gold in every piece and meticulously handset zones that are all built to last.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are gonna hit the Jersey Shore and clean up this. You and James dude, father, son, team hitting the Jersey Shore. I can't wait. They also have collabs with major sports leagues and DC Comics. And you can create your own custom piece if you'd like over at GLD's custom shop. With GLD's lifetime warranty, you'll also have it forever. Work hard and change the game. For a limited time, new customers are getting an insane deal. If you use the Code Wars W A R z, you'll get 50% [e-mail] that's 50% off. That's crazy with code warsgld.com all right, let's get back into it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex. Story number three.

[Producer Alex]

Story number three. My neighbor got really high, bought a car on his Amex and forgot about it when it got delivered. His wife was mad that they didn't have anywhere to put it, so he gave his old car to me.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't just.

[Alex]

I can guarantee this isn't me. This.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't know. If you can buy a car on an Amex, how's that possible? You have to like sign paperwork and shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You buy a car on an Amex, why can't you? No, that.

[Zach Amico]

That's shorthand from bought a car from A Mexican.

[Alex]

I bought a car from amex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A Max. Okay?

[Alex]

A Mexican

[Pete Lee]

shout out to Puerto Vallarta right now.

[Big J Okerson]

I just don't understand.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's. You know what? Joke of the year so far, folks.

[Alex]

A Max.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Good joke.

[Big J Okerson]

No, this is when it gets delivered after you bought on your app. You have to, like, sign paperwork and.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is Jay playing the game right now?

[Big J Okerson]

No. I've gone to get every car I've got I've driven. That's not true. One time, a guy brought it to me, but it wasn't on my amex.

[Zach Amico]

Didn't Voss buy a Rolls Royce on ebay?

[Big J Okerson]

A Rolls Royce?

[Zach Amico]

Didn't Voss buy a really nice car on ebay?

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie's doing great,

[Zach Amico]

so maybe it might have been like that. Maybe it was, like, an online thing and then it got delivered.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. This car is for headliners. Have you opened the trunk of a rented BMW?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm surprised how many people in this room know Voss. This is crazy. It's out of control right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Doesn't feel good. Louis, do you think that Guy's chain is $150,000 or $200?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's. That is famous rapper Young Gravy, So I think that's a real chain right there.

[Big J Okerson]

Is it $150,000? 5,000 still?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's pretty nice. Nice?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hell, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a nice chain.

[Pete Lee]

Did anybody else get lost in his eyes?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Young Gravy's eyes? Zach just heard gravy, and he started to come.

[Zach Amico]

I was here on the assumption there would be gravy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah. I was told Gravy would be here. I'll settle for old gravy guys, but I don't have to, like, win to get the gravy, right? Like, everybody gets gravy.

[Alex]

I didn't even notice him. I just kept looking over, like, damn, it's crazy. That girl is a Story wars fan. That's insane. Look at the rest of these retards. And then her.

[Big J Okerson]

My bad king goes, did she wander in from Juilliard? Look at this riff raff here. These guys aren't related. Why would they hang out? Other than they both do the same drugs?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

These are guys that get pulled over on the show. Cops together all the time. They're like, why would these two be driving around? That's Gus. I know him from the vfw. We both love Method. I don't know who the fuck. How do you buy a car on an amex? How's that possible? There's paperwork, dude. You gotta sit there and do a thing on a desk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you don't. What if you buy. You could just buy a car on your amex. Why can't you just.

[Big J Okerson]

On your phone.

[Alex]

Yes, I will say you're somebody.

[Big J Okerson]

I have to go there and I have to sign a facility.

[Alex]

No, you're getting a loan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not if you're just buying the car outright.

[Alex]

You can just buy a car.

[Big J Okerson]

Hang on. Why'd you fucking put the tone there? Say outright again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Outright. Shut up, dude. Get the out of here. I'm sick of this whole corner over here. This crowd is losing control.

[Big J Okerson]

That was weird, right? Go Birds.

[Alex]

Go Birds.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Go Birds.

[Zach Amico]

Lewis has been called alt right so many times now he has to say

[Big J Okerson]

outright that way too, because what if you buy it outright?

[Pete Lee]

This is a whole corner of ICE Agents,

[Big J Okerson]

you know. This is Pete. This is Pete Lee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's Pet Lee as well. Pete Lee would live. Weird story. Yeah, this is some LA horseshit. Somebody had an MX black card. He put 60k right on it. And that was that.

[Big J Okerson]

That's it. So here, take my 2012 Lexus because my wife's pissed off. Here you go, Pete. This is you, you son of a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or it could be Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

This could be Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this could be Jay. Really playing the game right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Are you out of your mind? You wouldn't know that I was driving around in a car that a neighbor just gave me because he bought a car on an amex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, neighbor, That's a great point.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't put me down, you nitwit. Is it possibly Lewis? Because I know it's not. Because I would know this. This is crazy. This is a once in a lifetime situation. I'm gifted a car by my neighbor who had too many cars for his wife. It never came up. That's not my one man show topic. Thank you guys for taking a break from scoring meth to be here. Young gravy, take us to commercial.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This also could be Drew Montana.

[Alex]

It's definitely not me.

[Pete Lee]

I love how emotional jazz right now.

[Alex]

I've had. I've only had shitty cars and I've paid way too much money for all of them. I've spent like $8,000 on Chevy Cobalts that don't start my whole life. So this is not me. I've never been gifted a thing that ran and operated.

[Zach Amico]

You could have stopped that. I've never been gifted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I shouldn't care this much, but I don't know whose story this is. Wait, I'm gonna go to the Audience. Who do you guys think it is? Big J, here's the thing. This could be.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't believe it was you last night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let me say this. I think this could be a young Big J story. When we started hanging out, I wouldn't have known if you were gifted your car. I guess I would.

[Big J Okerson]

My Honda Accord.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

I would have my Honda Accord hatchback.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just how hardcore he's going with that. Without believing you could buy a car on an amex.

[Alex]

I know. I thought it was Jay at first, and now I wish I put J.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's either Pete or Big J. Oh, dude, I'm gonna go Big J just because I'm gonna be pissed. I'm gonna be pissed if it's not. And I didn't listen to the audience. Big J. Poker. Sinbad.

[Big J Okerson]

You listened to two guys who were bonded only by methamphetamines, and they sent you down such a bad road. And I want you to learn this lesson. I'm glad you're about this lesson the hard way. I'm glad you had to do this. I'm glad young gravy sees this. I think he holds you in too high standing young Gravy, if you'd please. Alex,

[Producer Alex]

story number three belongs to Pete Lee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn it. But.

[Pete Lee]

But, Jay, now we know we can trigger you with automotive financials. I love you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So, Pete, tell us a little bit more about the story. What type of car did he give you?

[Pete Lee]

He gave me a Tesla, actually.

[Big J Okerson]

With your neighbor, Elon Musk.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, it was my neighbor Nico. It was in the house in the Palisades that I lived in that burned down.

[Big J Okerson]

Burned.

[Pete Lee]

And I actually have a pretty rad picture of the car that was burned. But, yeah, we were getting stoned one night, and then he was like, I think I want to buy the new Tesla s. It was the one that was called plaid or whatever. It was, like, the fastest car ever. And so, yeah, he bought it, and then he forgot that he bought it. And then he called me from the harbor because him and his business partner were like, I think we're gonna fly to Alaska and go fishing. And then he goes, do you just want my old car? Because we don't have anywhere to put it because the HOA sucked. I goes, this how rich people talk to each other. Like, I need to re home my Tesla. And, yeah, and then I got a Tesla.

[Big J Okerson]

How do you. He just signed it over to you?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, I was like, I was stupid, and I go, well, I got to give you something. And so

[Big J Okerson]

please let me. Let Me point at you and call you a while you masturbate. Whatever rich guys are into.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on. I'm going to blow you to smithereens.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't understand.

[Pete Lee]

Can I be honest? I wish I would have thought of that. Because I gave him 10.

[Alex]

$10,000.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

$10,000. You idiot.

[Big J Okerson]

You could have just chugged cock for 15 minutes.

[Pete Lee]

That's how not gay I am. I didn't even think of it.

[Alex]

Respect.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how gay you are. You didn't think of it.

[Zach Amico]

Can I do a joke? That's just for me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Zach Amico]

This happened in California, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Uh huh.

[Zach Amico]

So you drive. Drove Nico's LA Tesla.

[Alex]

Uh huh.

[Zach Amico]

Nice.

[Alex]

Everyone think real quick.

[Zach Amico]

It's named after Nikola's Tesla.

[Pete Lee]

Oh yeah. Nikola Tesla.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, that was smart.

[Pete Lee]

Nico was named after him. Oh, that was really. All right.

[Zach Amico]

I love that I said it was for me only.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll be right back with a performance from the Spin Doctors. You're watching Story Wars,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, where our points at? Three stories down.

[Producer Alex]

In last place with two points, Zach Amico. In fourth place with three points, Drew Montana. Tied for second place with four points each, Luis J. Gomez and Big J. Okerson. And in the lead with six points, Pete Lee.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow, Pete Lee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The only person up here who is not a confirmed story warrior.

[Pete Lee]

Oh yeah, I even won it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now this could be your night.

[Pete Lee]

I. The last time. You guys do realize I. I got zero points. I. Not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it wasn't zero.

[Big J Okerson]

It was two.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was like two. Because we've never had anybody at zero.

[Pete Lee]

Okay. All right.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a feat we're still waiting for. And they're per. And a perfect game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yep.

[Pete Lee]

Do you guys want to hear my California Nico, Nikola Tesla joke?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure.

[Pete Lee]

That's it. Sorry, I was just being a goose. Zach.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love you, Alex. Story number four.

[Producer Alex]

Story number four. In a stroke of bad luck, I got pulled over for a brake light. The cops found weed remnants that weren't mine. Then they ran my ID and arrested me for a warrant. Then did the same to both of my passengers.

[Pete Lee]

This sounds ethnic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I told you, two drinks in he starts getting racist. Here we are. I have been arrested many a times, and the only thing I'll say that the weed remnants would have been mine.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's weird.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I say that as I make eye contact with my son.

[Big J Okerson]

But maybe that's you. That's fair. Maybe this is you playing the game though.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I could be playing the game that

[Zach Amico]

could have been somebody's weed in the back seat.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, like the one they found didn't happen to be yours. I didn't smoke weed to my mid-20s.

[Zach Amico]

You were also in a car with three different people with warrants.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah. Could be. It doesn't strike me as beatly.

[Pete Lee]

I mean, because I have an id.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sure, sure.

[Alex]

There's so much in this story. There's so many things.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is an extraordinarily wiggery story.

[Alex]

Could be. Yeah, could be.

[Pete Lee]

How you feeling right now?

[Alex]

Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

[Pete Lee]

Whose birth control is going on?

[Alex]

That was my Eminem Battle Rap alarm.

[Big J Okerson]

What is that vomit on your sweater already?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who sets their alarm for 8:30pm? This guy. He's like, whoa, man, I gotta get up.

[Big J Okerson]

That's when he said he has to take his insulin before he gets his next fix.

[Pete Lee]

I gotta go back to being a garden gnome.

[Big J Okerson]

These guys are.

[Pete Lee]

Sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

These guys are long road truckers, dude.

[Zach Amico]

This is just a stop method down the clock.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, Drew, this could easily be you. This is a very Philly esque story also. I mean, you do smoke weed. But this could be. Once again, you playing the game.

[Alex]

A lot of weed. But I also hang out with people that smoke a lot of weed. I drive. I literally got pulled over recently with Naim, and he got taken to jail that night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Alex]

Yeah. For the.

[Zach Amico]

Naim's a black guy, by the way,

[Alex]

my black friend Naim.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's spelled how you can never guess

[Alex]

it's spelled. Difficult for algorithms.

[Big J Okerson]

There's more than one apostrophe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I will say that voice of text will never get the name Naim.

[Alex]

This could be me also, and I don't know the word remnants, though. I wouldn't be a remnants guy. Not. I'm not a remnant type. Bull. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm still not sure that's how remnants is spelled. Yeah, I guess it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I remember last time you played.

[Zach Amico]

How many times have you been in a prison cell?

[Big J Okerson]

Like a jail? Yeah. Holding overnight things? Three or four.

[Alex]

That's enough. Where it might be Jay. I wasn't even thinking Jay until that. How many times have you been to jail, Zach?

[Zach Amico]

Zero.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but this could be before Big J started smoking weed. I don't remember the story, but he. I mean, a warrant.

[Pete Lee]

Wait, can we do a jail count? How many times, Louis?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Six. Seven.

[Pete Lee]

Six. Seven. All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just gotta get me involved.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Six. Seven. Before I was 30. Then I'll get there. Seven times. Something like that.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God, look at this. Teenager giving your son alcohol there's rum in it.

[Pete Lee]

I'm one. But it wasn't for that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What were you in jail for, Pete?

[Pete Lee]

I. I saved a guy's life and then I beat up six cops. And then I had to go to the Tombs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Alex]

That's literally Naim. Same exact story. That's crazy. Naim has that same story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a story. It's like I gotta. I gotta. Arrested for having the biggest dick in the land.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Getting too much pussy. You know, one time.

[Zach Amico]

Is your name spelled P E apostrophe T E.

[Big J Okerson]

What? What are you, the Last Dragon?

[Pete Lee]

The funniest thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, just one time, I had to go to jail. I beat up six cops, Pete. What. What are you, Batman? Nothing makes sense from your clothes to your personality.

[Pete Lee]

I am hate bargazi. I really am. No, they mistook me because there was a.

[Big J Okerson]

For a guy who would go down with six cops, they made the fatal mistake of thinking I was a guy who would go down to just six police officers.

[Alex]

Were they all women? That's crazy. What type of lucky son of a bitch fights six female cops?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, shit. There must be a strike or something. Let's go, ladies. Somebody DJ this.

[Zach Amico]

All right. Coalition of Indian and Chinese cops. This is our big score.

[Pete Lee]

They were the traffic cops that don't even have handcuffs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was 6.6meter maids.

[Pete Lee]

It was. There was a diner owner. I won't say the diner, but he pressed charges against me. He tried to get a restraining order. So a diner owner punched one of the bus boys. They were in an altercation. And then I caught his head. Because fighters, we don't let people's head hit the ground. And then my hand was bloody. I had 16 stitches. When the cops showed up, I helped the bus boy get away. And then you guys see how I dress. I dress like a busboy. And so the cops thought I was the busboy. And I also was. It was the anniversary of my house burned down and I was on about 5 grams of mushrooms.

[Big J Okerson]

And this is. You fought cops in the last two years?

[Alex]

I thought this was 20 years ago.

[Pete Lee]

This is last.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This happened last year.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. And I went to jail and I went to the Tombs, which is like, great. I made a lot of friends. And the. But the Tombs are great, by the way. The. The police, they're my friends. They're my friends now. And I had them down to the Cellar for a show. And they're my. They literally. I'm the only guy that the police

[Big J Okerson]

that you beat up had then came down to your show?

[Alex]

Yeah, he's dating one of them now. He's getting married to her.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. Her name is Tim.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know why this still doesn't make me think it's his story, though.

[Alex]

Wait, we're talking about a different story on here right now?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was just a great story.

[Pete Lee]

Luck. Yeah, but it was a good struggle. Luck in that they stuck up for me and they realized that I was the wrong guy. And then one of the cops actually got the footage of me saving the guy's life. Because in New York City, if the original crime didn't happen, then another resisting arrest happened.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Happened.

[Big J Okerson]

That's how I got up.

[Pete Lee]

I would do it again if I could.

[Big J Okerson]

100 Center street, part three.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J Talk.

[Alex]

I like Pete Lee, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J. I like you, too.

[Alex]

Thanks, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Talking about this being or not talk to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Tell me this is not your story, because I'm getting Big J vibes on this one. I feel like this is before we were friends. This is some early back in the day when you're driving from Philly to New York every day. You were hanging out with Keith and Kevin Hart and all these guys who probably had warrants.

[Big J Okerson]

They got arrested once. I had to go get Keith out of jail for sure. Yeah. But I didn't get arrested with Keith and Kev. No.

[Alex]

The first time I did this show, you had a story about you and Keith getting arrested with somebody else in the car. No, I think so.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's going to check the tapes for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Keith's only been arrested one time since we've been friends, and it was him and Kev. And then I had to go get him out, and multiple women. Multiple women came to bail him out, which was the funniest thing in the world.

[Zach Amico]

But since then, he has had a stroke of bad luck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Twice in fact. Twice in fact.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting. I'm still getting Big J vibes here.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, that's fine.

[Alex]

I think it's Jay. Just because three, four times in jail,

[Big J Okerson]

that's what I needed.

[Alex]

That's more than I've been.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I needed.

[Alex]

You voted me every time, Jay. I think you're in last place. That's fine.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not last. I'm tied for second place.

[Pete Lee]

Even knows how to spell your name right?

[Alex]

Yeah, he does.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that was an act. That was an angry thing, too. When I started writing that sold. That sent a message.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J gets a voting going with Drew Montana.

[Big J Okerson]

I needed.

[Alex]

I mean, this is.

[Big J Okerson]

This to me hard. I knew 100.

[Alex]

A story I've had but did not submit. And I can prove it by Remnants won't show up and talk to Text.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll bet you right now.

[Alex]

I'll bet you everything. Right? I'll bet my life on it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, I will fucking kill myself if Remnant shows up right now and talk to.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, what if the Grim Reaper is like, I took what you said on Story War seriously, and he kills Pete

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lee votes Big J. Why do you think it's Big J?

[Pete Lee]

Pete Black, Friends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay. Exact same answer.

[Zach Amico]

Yep. I think it's because, in a stroke of bad luck, because they wanted to make sure that the topic of the show matched the story, and they walked us too deep into it, which makes me feel like this is a setup by someone who does the show every week.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think you're right. I think Big J got no points here. Or somebody cleaned the fuck up. Either way, all of our answers are in Alex.

[Producer Alex]

Story number four belongs to Big J Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Can I just do Alex's job on the show? I don't want to play anymore. This game's dumb. I know. I have very interesting hilarious stories, and everybody knows it's me all the time.

[Alex]

Remnants.

[Big J Okerson]

Sorry, I can't turn it off. I can't write boring in my stories to appease you fucking guys.

[Pete Lee]

Do you feel better now that you know how you can buy a car with an amex?

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't. I was unaware of that completely. I will say that surprised me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J, tell us more about this story. Who was in the car?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, two Ray from Philly. Comedian was in the back seat and I guess smoking a lot of weed and putting out the roaches in my back ashtray. Cops pulled me over.

[Zach Amico]

You think One Ray would have taught him better?

[Big J Okerson]

One Ray did. One Ray did. And he put the. He left the roaches in my back ashtray, and I got pulled over for a brake light being out. He wasn't in the car anymore. It was me, Kurt Metzger, and his girlfriend at the time who was in the backseat. Kes was a hilarious comic lunatic and. But a young lunatic at this point. And we're in the car, and the cop goes. He goes, hey, can I search the car? When he pulled me over for the brake light, I go. He goes, I want to search the car. I went, sure. Well, there's nothing I didn't have. I didn't smoke weed. And then he opens the back ash and he starts showing me things, and I go, oh, those aren't mine. And he goes, yeah, okay. He goes, Give me your ID Right now. And he goes and runs my id And I had a warrant because there was a video store in my neighborhood, mom and pop store. And when I turned 18, I was like, oh, I can go rent porno. I rented, like, six of them, and I just kept them and figured I'd never go back to that porno place again.

[Pete Lee]

I hope it was really sleepy. Was in Seattle.

[Big J Okerson]

Straight up porn.

[Alex]

You have a warrant for porn crimes. That usually ends really bad, man.

[Big J Okerson]

I know it's not what you think. I'll say.

[Pete Lee]

How young were they?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I. So I ran these porns. Never brought them back. And I was just like, yeah, I'll just never go to that. You know, I'm a Blockbuster guy for my. Not porn now I got these six porns.

[Zach Amico]

And in your defense, you never had to answer to a mom and a pop before?

[Big J Okerson]

Never in my life. Both. No way.

[Pete Lee]

You are kind. Did you rewind?

[Alex]

Jay was used to mom stores. Mom and mom.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I would rewind the three minutes to keep watching that same scene that beat my wang to again. Sorry, Lewis. Son. I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's why he wears the gloves, James.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Pete Lee]

The spikes are on the outside, James.

[Big J Okerson]

The gloves keep your palms always warm. So. Where was I?

[Alex]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

So, yeah, so the cops. I go, it's not mine. They run my id and they find out that I have a warrant because this guy from this mom and pop video store was very litigious. And he would take you to court. And I had a warrant. I guess I had a bench warrant. The guy, you know, they sent me an order that had to come to court, and I never looked for that. I was never looking for something. I'd have to go to court. So I never went. And there was a warrant out for my arrest. When the guy ran my id, he goes, I had a warrant. They pulled me out. I go, all right. So I told Kurt. I was like, hey, you drive my car back to my mom's, whatever. And then, like, I don't know, we're driving to your house, and I'll figure it out when I get out. And then they run. They go, we're gonna run your id and they had Kurt jumping turnstile warrant, unpaid ticket. He gets arrested. And I go, all right, hey, Kurt's girlfriend, you drive the car to the wherever. And then, you know, wherever. The police station, everyone. We'll figure it out from there. They said we could bail out that night. And then she gets in the car, and me and him are both in the back of the same cop car. And we hear. We go, what's the name of that girl again? And they go, blah, blah, blah. And they go, grab her, too. She's got a warrant.

[Alex]

Also, who would have thought this story was about. About three white people?

[Big J Okerson]

But the catalyst was a black guy.

[Pete Lee]

Me and.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Happy Black History Month.

[Big J Okerson]

Happy Black History Month, too, Ray.

[Alex]

Me and Naim got pulled over. It was me and Naim and Ryan Foster. We were coming home from Soul Joel's, like, two months ago, and I got

[Big J Okerson]

pulled over for Soul Joel's white, by the way.

[Alex]

One of the. One of the good ones.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no, no.

[Alex]

Now we got pulled over. I had an expired registration. I was smoking a blunt when we got pulled over, threw it out of the car, and it obviously smelled like weed. And the cop came up to the window, and I knew I was fucked because I had weed on me. It smelled like weed. And Foster. Ryan Foster is the man. He was like, dude, any weed you got on you, just give it to me. I'll take it. So I gave him, like, a gram of weed. It wasn't even that much. And I was like, whatever the ticket is, I'll pay it. They end up taking all of our IDs, because Naim's in the backseat. They don't like that out there, and

[Big J Okerson]

none them there parts.

[Alex]

So they take all of our IDs, run them. They come back, they're like, all right, Naim has a warrant, so all three of you got to get out of the car, and we're going to search it because it smells like weed. And so then they search the car, and I forgot I had an ounce of weed under my seat from, like, a month ago that I just. I don't know. It was like, bullshit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How do you forget about an ounce of weed under your seat?

[Alex]

It was bad weed. It was. At the time, I was, you know, whatever. But. But so the cop came back with that, and he, like. He just gave it to the other cop, and he's like. He's like, you said you only had a grand, but he was kind of, like, joking around and just gave them the weed. And then they arrested. They let me and Ryan go with an expired. I had an expired registration, no insurance, and over an ounce of weed in the car in multiple bags. And they let me and Ryan drive home. They took Naim to jail.

[Big J Okerson]

From the mountains to the prairies to the oceans Frill white with foam.

[Alex]

God bless America. My home sweet.

[Big J Okerson]

Do they not feel the horrible optics of that action? That's Cra. Hey, you white boys get home safe now, huh? With your. With your ounce of. We. What is this? Are we in Tennessee? I had just happened.

[Alex]

I just put the blunt out is. There was smoke getting into the cop's face and he was like, you guys are going.

[Big J Okerson]

What seems to be the problem?

[Alex]

Officer Naim had a warrant for a. He. He got a DUI like five years ago. And he. He went to court for it multiple times, paid all the tickets. His last court appearance, like the. The last thing. He missed it and they gave him a war. It was five years ago though. And dude, it's so crazy. Like, we should have all been in jail that night. And they were like, you two fine whites, go home.

[Big J Okerson]

Get home to your together parents production wise.

[Pete Lee]

Can we get a slow zoom in on Steve Harvey's face?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, ain't that a.

[Big J Okerson]

Think like a lady, act like a man man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Four stories down, Alex, where are our points at?

[Producer Alex]

All right, tied for fourth place with four points each, Big J Okerson and Zach Amico. In third place with five points, Drew Montana. In second place with. With six points, Louis J. Gomez. And in the lead with eight points, Pete Lee.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pete Lee. In first place,

[Big J Okerson]

Pete. Pete, I know you can already smell the ink on Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man where Harvey introduces the idea of sports fish versus keepers, explaining how men separate women they casually enjoy from women they see as long term term partners. He also unpacks what he calls the mindset of a man, arguing that until a man feels stable in who he is and what he earns, he may hesitate to fully commit.

[Pete Lee]

I can't wait to learn how to

[Big J Okerson]

think like a man. Hell yeah. Dude, you start reading at page 75.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, he's already gotta act like a lady down.

[Pete Lee]

Look at that. His hand is. It's like he's expecting.

[Big J Okerson]

We are now player.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We are four stories down. This our halfway point of the show. We're going to do some quick plugs. Real quick. Zach Amico, what are you plugging my friend?

[Zach Amico]

Punch up live Zach Amico for all my tickets and watch my show, Zack Amico's Morning Zoo and Midnight Spook Show. And thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, Peter.

[Pete Lee]

All right, so go to Pete Lee.net because I couldn't get Pete Lee.com. there's a British guy that's an asshole.

[Big J Okerson]

British Asian. Right.

[Pete Lee]

He is a British Asian. Yeah,

[Alex]

Drew, I'll do a Jameson ginger ale.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay. Okay. What was the question, Plugs?

[Alex]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Pete Lee]

I like you.

[Alex]

No, check out Digital Bazooka. Durag and the Deer Tag. And then I have some dates coming up on the road this spring and summer as well. I'm going to Raleigh, Cincinnati, Canada, Detroit, Janesville, Wisconsin. So that's where I'm from. Fucking please. Yeah, I can't wait. Please come to one of those shows. And yeah. Thank you guys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell yeah. Come see me all over the place. Going straight through probably most of the year on the greatest Yapper Alive tour. BigJComedy.com for tickets to all my shows, of course, listen to the Faction Talk 103, SiriusXM 103 with me and Robert Kelly, the Bonfire five days a week and Legion of Skanks, the flagship show right over here. Follow me on YouTube too, Big J Okerson, where I'm doing live streams and whatnot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come see me live on the road. Yocratom.com presents the Rattle Me this tour. Coming to a city near you in April. I got Detroit and St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada. Lots of other dates, go to my website, LewisOfScanks.com Sign up for my mailing list. Check out all the other pods that I do. The Regs Legion of Skanks Realized podcast, all available on gas digital.com and if you love this show, you can get the uncensored ad free version of the show right at Gas Digital. We premiere every Monday night before it goes to YouTube or anywhere else. You get a pre release on every episode, plus a bunch of episodes that are no longer available anywhere else. Gas digital.com use the promo code war and you save a couple bucks a month. Supports the show directly. And make sure you order my book right now. Knives and Spoons available on Amazon. Go buy that book. The show's halfway done. It's actually a fairly close game right now. But J, you got to let them know what's going on here because some of these people that they're new to

[Big J Okerson]

the show, the people that are new, you probably aren't unaware of this, but this is anybody's game because for the second half of Story wars, we decide to go double points. It's a pretty simple concept. You guys have all played before, but if people don't know before, if you fooled somebody, you got one point. If you guessed the correct person, you got two points. That now bumps up to double point.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a big deal.

[Alex]

There's no better moment in podcasting than that. You know what I mean? When a double points hits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See, Pete, you haven't won before, but once you're a story warrior, you can Trigger. Double points.

[Pete Lee]

Wait, let's put it to the test.

[Alex]

Double points. No, that should was whack. Yo.

[Big J Okerson]

This crowd does not respect soul and valor.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't you dare.

[Pete Lee]

I'm so happy about that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Respect.

[Big J Okerson]

They will not accept St and valor. Dude. It's real big to them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Refuse. Second half of the show. Ladies and gentlemen, story number five.

[Producer Alex]

Story number five. I once faked a dramatic phone call where I got broken up with because a girl who I wanted to sleep with got dumped and I wanted to be the first one in line for her revenge. Fucking. It worked and now she's dead.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I think it's Zak Amico and he crushed her to death.

[Big J Okerson]

This feels like Zach or Lewis.

[Pete Lee]

Wait, can we do a phone? A friend of the morgue.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, Zach. How many. How many women have you slept with that are now dead? Because there's been a few.

[Zach Amico]

Should be all of them.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, every one of them that's alive survived by some miracle, they say.

[Pete Lee]

Knock, knock. Who's there? Hiv.

[Zach Amico]

I got two bodies on me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Alex]

Two?

[Pete Lee]

Okay.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I got two.

[Alex]

That's what you call them.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, I got two on me. This ain't me, though. I've been with my chick forever. If she saw this, she'd fucking kill me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Alex]

I'm trying to understand the story and whoever's story this is won't admit to it, but maybe the crowd can help. Somebody faked getting broken up with because a girl had just gotten broken up with and they wanted to match that and be too recently broken up with people that fucked. Is that what's happening?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Alex]

Okay, this is my bad. It was worded weird, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is some manipulative, creepy guy shit. So it could be any of us. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Now that I understand it, this is out of my wheelhouse.

[Alex]

I don't know, this could be Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Really?

[Alex]

Yeah, you're. You're. I don't know. You're a creep with ladies, I'm sure.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I'm not. I'm not good at that. No, no, I'm not. I don't even have, like. I don't have very good rap. It's always. And Lewis, I think it attests to this. I've always been more where a girl's gonna be like, hey, I want to hang out. They go, oh, yeah, great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And old Jay, if that was a six hour drive away, it could be across the country. He would go, yeah, but he's not. He wasn't necessarily manipulative. That's more of a me thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Oh, I guess Lewis could, but I don't think this was you either.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I honestly don't know if I've ever slept with a girl that is now dead.

[Alex]

Louis isn't a dramatic guy, though. Louis is a, as they say, real ass dude. And, oh, yeah, if Lewis is known

[Zach Amico]

for one thing, it's being calm on the phone.

[Alex]

No, but I think Zach's better at, like. Like, faking stuff. I think you're. You're a good actor. I respect your craft, and this sounds like something you could have done.

[Big J Okerson]

You are a thespian.

[Pete Lee]

I'm insulted that nobody thinks this is me.

[Alex]

No, no, Pete, don't get hosed. No, I'm kidding.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought it could be Drew actually again, but I thought everyone that so far could be.

[Alex]

But not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, this could be a young Zach. Zach's been.

[Zach Amico]

I'm not. It could very well. It's not something I'm above. Wait.

[Alex]

Zach's excuse for it not being him was my wife would be mad at this. And I've heard Zach tell way worse stories than this on podcasts to the worst things I've ever heard. This definitely could be Zach.

[Big J Okerson]

Girls that Zach are most likely to do other things that will kill them early.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah, we have an early Zach.

[Big J Okerson]

It wasn't Zach. I don't blame you, Zach. It was the drugs after Zach.

[Alex]

I'm going Zach, too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach gave her sexually transmitted diabetes.

[Big J Okerson]

And then she didn't know before. You know, her foot fell off. She was blind.

[Zach Amico]

Hey, she was my type, too.

[Alex]

He's not even denying it anymore. He's getting funny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach's losing this game, but God damn, is he ahead on funny points.

[Alex]

Is he not crushing all of us?

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta get mad. You gotta get mad at him now. Oh. Oh, it's tainted. You have to get mad at him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can't get mad again.

[Big J Okerson]

You have to get mad again.

[Alex]

Louis. We've seen. We've seen it before, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

We know. Yeah, yeah. I mean, Drew knows without the speech.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of her answers are in.

[Pete Lee]

I voted. I voted, Zach. But not dead, just in a Kohl story.

[Producer Alex]

Number five belongs to Zack Amico.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach, you know not to write your own name on the goddamn board.

[Zach Amico]

I waited till you guys are all done.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, Pete wasn't done yet.

[Zach Amico]

He was because he was writing a long sentence after my name.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It wasn't in the board. He could have changed it.

[Zach Amico]

Okay, fine. I'm sorry.

[Big J Okerson]

There's one rule on this show that wasn't yelling.

[Alex]

I'm so sorry, Louis. I apologize.

[Pete Lee]

I didn't know that rule.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tell the story, Zach. How did this. How did this girl die?

[Zach Amico]

Probably drugs.

[Pete Lee]

I don't know.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah, no, it was the angel

[Alex]

and

[Zach Amico]

the track marks in them. Yeah, no, it was a chick that I was really into. I had a girl at the time, and then she was staying in the same house I was, and her boyfriend broke up with her that day. So I just walked around the house and made a fake phone call and started yelling, and I was like, you would not fucking believe what just happened. I just got dumped, too. And we slept together, fell out of touch, and she's dead now.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. Where'd she die from?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

8.

[Zach Amico]

Ah, it's a pretty. Pretty slim. It's a. It's probably drugs or suicide if. In my wheelhouse.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you made a weird face like, let's not talk about aids.

[Pete Lee]

Let's.

[Zach Amico]

I'd be in such better shape.

[Alex]

God, no. Not if you.

[Big J Okerson]

You're winning the battle of AIDS dive.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at?

[Producer Alex]

In last place, with four points, Zach Amic. In fourth place with eight points, Big J. Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm in it.

[Producer Alex]

In third place with nine points, Drew Montana. In second place with 10 points, Luis J. Gomez. And in the lead with, with 12 points, Pete Lee.

[Pete Lee]

A moment like this, some people wait a lifetime. Dude, I'm drunk. I'm.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hold on to it. You're in the lead right now. Hold it together.

[Alex]

Petely rules. Dude.

[Pete Lee]

Does anybody have a.

[Alex]

Why did nobody tell me Pete Lee rules?

[Big J Okerson]

Worst Kip. Worst kept secret in comedy, bro. Worst skip secret in common.

[Alex]

Y' all should have told me about Pete Lee years ago. This guy rocks, dude.

[Pete Lee]

I love you, Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Story number six.

[Producer Alex]

Story number six. I was driving drunk, and I sat through three green and red lights at an intersection with the police car right behind me. When I finally went through the intersection, he pulled me over. Just then, a meth house burst into flames. I got out of the DUI and the cop let me drive the rest of the way home.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, this couldn't be be. This is Pete Lee. Mr. Magooing his way through a situation.

[Pete Lee]

This sounds ethnic.

[Alex]

I didn't even have to think.

[Big J Okerson]

This has Pete Lee all over it.

[Alex]

You sat through three green and red lights is the funniest thing. That takes like seven minutes.

[Big J Okerson]

But also to be white enough. The cop goes, now I got bigger fish to fry. Drive home drunk the rest of the way. That is only one white man. Pete Lee on this. The cops. I've had the cops pull me over for nothing and toss my car. I've never had that kind of treatment.

[Alex]

That's what I'm saying. I'm too much of a wigger to get this ever.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I feel like cops should be as shitty as anyone has ever told me a cop is treated.

[Alex]

They pull guns on me immediately. It's never been this.

[Pete Lee]

They're afraid.

[Big J Okerson]

I got people in high blazes.

[Producer Alex]

Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who.

[Alex]

You.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who are you voting for?

[Pete Lee]

Who am I voting for?

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. I. I mean, not Cala.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not a better race. It's a better policies.

[Pete Lee]

I'm drunk.

[Zach Amico]

Between Pete and Drew, Drew would have had his friends in the car.

[Alex]

No, Zach, I promise you, if this was me, I would have been arrested immediately. I'm not. I. I've been arrested too many times to have this type of luck. To sit through three green and red lights. That's so long. I can't even fathom how long that was.

[Zach Amico]

You just went home with an ounce of weed in the car.

[Big J Okerson]

Weed, Dude.

[Alex]

Shitty weed, bro.

[Pete Lee]

Reggie, I'm not even a drinker.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Zach.

[Alex]

Zach, we're friends. I promise you this isn't me. And I know that does nothing in this game. But on our friendship. You'll respect me more after you find out. Not me. Lewis. We're also friends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We are friends.

[Alex]

Not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It should be you.

[Alex]

It's not me.

[Pete Lee]

He's never.

[Alex]

Vote for Pete.

[Big J Okerson]

Because I want.

[Alex]

Pete's in first right now. We need him to lose. We can't have him get any points. Come on on, everyone get on.

[Big J Okerson]

Pete. Pete.

[Alex]

Pete.

[Big J Okerson]

Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who are you voting for?

[Zach Amico]

Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pete. Pete.

[Alex]

Pete. It's Pete. Do it now.

[Big J Okerson]

Selling hard. N. I don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like Drew is selling it pretty hard right now. Pete, you know we're playing the game. You got to write a name. Not your own.

[Pete Lee]

No, I know. I'm going to write story.

[Alex]

I'm selling hard because I like Pete and I'm. I'm trying to help him out.

[Pete Lee]

You guys, my friends came up. They have table calls.

[Alex]

Boss. No. Pete's V. No,

[Big J Okerson]

you.

[Alex]

You spelled it way off.

[Big J Okerson]

Dr. Y.

[Alex]

Like bayou.

[Big J Okerson]

Dr. Yan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dr. You, Dr. Yan.

[Big J Okerson]

Dr. Yam.

[Pete Lee]

I don't know where I'm at right now.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, let me.

[Alex]

I'm.

[Pete Lee]

I'm kidding.

[Alex]

Dude. If you get a crowd bump, that's crazy. We just met. But I won't allow you to get a crowd bump, brother.

[Big J Okerson]

Doing a lot of yapping and it's done.

[Pete Lee]

Matter of fact, see you later, Iowa. Hawkeye's hat.

[Alex]

A weird laugh. Guy has the bumps.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pete. Pete. Stories.

[Alex]

What the hell? How did I not know? Weird Laugh Guy wanted coke this whole time? That's crazy. Hey, you know when you find out one of your friends does coke and you're like, that guy? I don't even know Weird Laugh Guy that well. But I'm like, bro, you do coke?

[Pete Lee]

I've never done it in my life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My vote is for Pete.

[Big J Okerson]

This could be a Drew.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, if this is Drew cleaning house right now, that'll be crazy. Alex, all of our answers are in.

[Producer Alex]

Story number six belongs to Pete Lee.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pete, was this also in the past year?

[Pete Lee]

No, this was in 2003, the same year my special came out. So I was with my boss at Martin Williams Advertising in Minneapolis, which I can say I'm drunk.

[Alex]

You had a special come out in 03?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah.

[Alex]

You old bro. That's crazy. I was in third grade.

[Pete Lee]

I mean, you.

[Alex]

Right? Yeah. I'm sorry. I still think you're the man.

[Big J Okerson]

Word? Word.

[Pete Lee]

We were coming over from our advertising party, company party, and Terry McEnroy was like. He's like. He's like, drive me home. And so. And I was two blocks away, and then, I swear, like. Like, windows burst. It was like. And the cop goes. And he goes back to his cop car, and they had, like, an all unit units. And he goes, you're two blocks away from your house. Just get home.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Pete Lee]

So we're past the statute of limitations. I am very impressed that I. I said those words. I didn't plan to get drunk again.

[Alex]

Pete, let's keep drinking. I need one more. Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex, where are our points at? Six stories down.

[Pete Lee]

What do you do? Don't you need a smoke break?

[Alex]

Wait, guys, Young Gravy's about to leave. Can you follow me on Instagram before you leave, Young Gravy, follow me on the gram, all right? Nah, he said most likely. Are you not impressed, Young Gravy?

[Zach Amico]

You're the only Gravy brand that doesn't follow me,

[Alex]

Gravy. Follow me now or make an enemy forever. Your choice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Six stories down.

[Producer Alex]

In last place with eight points, Zak Amico.

[Big J Okerson]

Kiss me or lose me forever. Young Gravy.

[Pete Lee]

Dude, he has Dukes of Hazzard hair.

[Alex]

Holy.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, he can slide beat. You're a blackout drunk,

[Alex]

Young Gravy. I'm a fan, dude.

[Pete Lee]

He's a handsome guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let her. Let her do the points.

[Alex]

I'm a Soundcloud rapper, dude. Come on.

[Producer Alex]

Tied for third place with 12 points each. Big J Okerson and Pete Lee.

[Big J Okerson]

How am I only tied with a guy that doesn't know he's here.

[Alex]

How the mighty have fallen.

[Pete Lee]

Where AM I?

[Producer Alex]

In second place with 13 points, drew Montana. And in the lead with 14 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We have two more. We have two more stories. Are you guys having fun? Two more stories. All right, folks, let's take a quick moment and thank Knick Knack for supporting the show. Knickknack are fully dissolvable nicotine lozenges. So there's no spit, there's no smoke, there's no nothing. Just six ingredients including xylitol, essential oils and non tobacco nicotine. You pop it in, let it dissolve like a cough drop and you are getting your nicotine fix like that.

[Big J Okerson]

That it's very helpful. If you travel as much as we do in a lot of places you can't smoke. A lot of times if you find out your flight's delayed too, that's a big time where you need stuff like this. You don't want to leave. You can't leave the airport to go smoke. This does help that so, so much satiates that urge very much. Or if you're trying to like, you know, get off of it all together, these can help a lot. If you go to knickknack.com story and use the code story, they're going to give you 20% off your order. That's pretty good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's nic n a c.com story for 20 off with the code story. Or you could even use their store locator and find knickknacks near you. I would say buy it online with our promo code to get the discount. But if you use nicotine, Knickknack is the discreet way to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

Warning, this product does contain nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Okay, story warriors, let's talk about our sponsor for today's show and that is Brunt Work. Where. Boy oh boy, are we loving Brunt Workwear. They are tough enough for any job site, keeping you comfortable all day long. They are an amazing boot that is good for working on the job, but they feel just like an old pair of sneakers. And one of the best parts is they let you try the boots on the job. Brunt says if they're not perfect, you could send it back for a full refund also. And that's a hundred percent risk free trial. That's pretty, pretty amazing. All the wear and tear you can put on it. But they also don't just have boots. They also have high performance gear for all kinds of activities. Heavy duty Work pants to weather resistant and jackets. No matter what your job demands, Brunt has got you covered. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots, so they built something better over at Brunt. Boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site for a limited time. Story wars fans get $10 off at Brunt. When you use Code wars at checkout, just head to bruntworkware.com use the code wars and you're good to go. After you order, they're gonna ask what you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor, let them know Story War sent you. One more time, it's bruntworkware.com Code wars and you're good to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a quick moment and thank Body Brain Coffee for supporting the show. Body Brain Coffee is a company that I started going almost a year ago now and it is taking the world by storm. It is premium freeze dried Colombian coffee that is blended with nootropics and adaptogens that help with everything from natural testosterone support to brain function, memory and mood. Five simple ingredients. You could drink it hot, you could drink it cold, you could put it in a protein shake and it really does make you feel absolutely great. Look at the reviews on Amazon. Look at the reviews on Shopify. People love Body Brain Coffee and I'm very, very proud of this product. If you guys want to give it a try, just go to bodybraincoffee.com and use the promo code WAR20WAR20 to get 20% off your entire order. If you decide to subscribe and receive it monthly, you're going to get 20% off. Plus you're going to get free shipping for life and a special free gift. Anybody who is subscribed. In the next couple weeks, we're sending out a sample packet of the Body Brain creamer that is a completely different blend that stacks perfectly with the coffee. Bodybraincoffee.com promo code War2 for 20% off. All right, where were we? Alex? Story number seven.

[Producer Alex]

Story number seven. I left someone in a hot tub while they slept so I could go inside and smoke their weed. When I came back outside, they hadn't drowned. Later in the night, I helped them search for the missing weed.

[Big J Okerson]

It's true. Drew or Lewis.

[Alex]

No, this is written just like the last story. This is. This is a third Pete. This is crazy. I've never been in a hot tub.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like. I feel like weed is too much of a drug for Pete. I feel like Pete gets drunk and then he's like let's find something hot.

[Alex]

He goes, I let a guy overdose on DMT in the hot tub.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

He set a meth house on fire to get him a ticket.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's like, one time I. One time I drowned a child in a hot tub. Then I snorted Fentanyl off his mom's tits.

[Big J Okerson]

And then the cops gave me a ride home. Said, thanks for doing your duty.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Then I headbutted that faggot cop and stole his car. Pete Lee for life.

[Big J Okerson]

Pete Lee, Scrooge.

[Zach Amico]

Drew, did you say bmt? Isn't that a Subway sandwich?

[Alex]

You know all the Subway sandwiches.

[Big J Okerson]

You know It's a number 14.

[Zach Amico]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I will say this is definitely me.

[Alex]

Or Drew, this isn't me.

[Pete Lee]

There's only two drugs I don't do. Weed and opiates.

[Alex]

I thought Pete Lee ruled.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, opiates rule. Opiates rule.

[Alex]

I thought Pete Lee was the man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, James. Opiates do not rule.

[Alex]

James. Opiates rule. Opiates rule.

[Big J Okerson]

James, listen to your Uncle Jay. Opiates don't rule until after you feel nauseous for 20 minutes. Yeah, look, James, nothing like it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't take too many opiates. It makes you. It makes it hard to shit. Anyway.

[Alex]

James, people say Xanax is the hardest thing to get off. But you'll survive it.

[Big J Okerson]

You'll have a bad, sweaty week.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Drew, so you say you've never been in a hot tub?

[Alex]

Never with, like, my friends at their house. I've been in a hot tub at a hotel, but never like.

[Big J Okerson]

Like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But this isn't you in a hot tub. This is somebody else in a hot tub.

[Alex]

Okay. Yeah, I guess. Why would I be watching somebody in a hot tub? I would imagine we're both in the hot tub.

[Big J Okerson]

I assume. So. Both you in a hot tub and someone leaves to go.

[Alex]

You have a hot tub at your house?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nope.

[Big J Okerson]

No. Big J has a hot tub at his house.

[Alex]

Or Jamaica. I think this is one of you two. Cuz you go to. You're. Yeah, you're a. You're a resort guy. And if Jay has a hot tub at his house. I thought it was Pete, but.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But, yeah, but Jay.

[Alex]

It's definitely not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay went to go steal Christine's weed at his house. That's crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. It doesn't make. It's my weed. I'd be stealing my weed.

[Alex]

I. I think it's Lewis or Pete.

[Pete Lee]

Looks like it be any of them.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It could also be Zach.

[Pete Lee]

That look like hot tub?

[Big J Okerson]

No, Zach doesn't care about stealing I

[Pete Lee]

have a hot tub and trunks you can borrow. It looks like all of you.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach doesn't give a about stealing weed. If he was like, I fell asleep and I went inside to finish the pizza.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it said. If it said I. I displace all of the water in a hot tub.

[Alex]

I've also not to incriminate myself, but I've sold weed since I was 14 years old. So I don't know a time when my life where I would need to steal weed from a drowning guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A guy. I'm imagining a girl the whole time.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be a girl. Yeah, it could be Louis.

[Alex]

Girls never have their own weed.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why I assume it could be Lois the second.

[Zach Amico]

What's got me. They assumed if you leave someone in a hot tub they will drown. So that means they were partying pretty hard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Louis did it.

[Zach Amico]

I assume the person they left in the hot tub was passed out or else they wouldn't include the they didn't drown part.

[Alex]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Louis. And you. And I know this because you are. You're my friend. A classless piece of shit.

[Alex]

I think it's Pete. Is it not you, Pete?

[Pete Lee]

To quote a young person. No, it's Pete giving Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. Pete almost got attacked by his own marker.

[Pete Lee]

I did.

[Alex]

I think it's Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pete's not. Pete's not a weed guy. And I believe him when he says it.

[Alex]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

Is the reason why bongs are legal. You can look it up. High times.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm worried. It's Drew. It's not you, it's Drew. But it was one of you two too.

[Zach Amico]

It would be like on the way back I got a blowjob and a high five from the president.

[Alex]

So I didn't which one.

[Big J Okerson]

Then I got pulled over and the cop let me try his gun.

[Alex]

I didn't know it wasn't. I didn't know Pete didn't smoke weed. The only reason I assumed it was him because the last story was written similar to this.

[Pete Lee]

It was long.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Drew's playing the game right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Drew's been going hard. It's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Drew's going hard.

[Alex]

It's not me.

[Pete Lee]

I promise.

[Alex]

Promise you. I promise you.

[Big J Okerson]

And I'm comfortable with Lewis. If it ain't you, it's Lewis.

[Alex]

Is it Lewis?

[Big J Okerson]

If it ain't you, I'll go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is a young Drew.

[Alex]

If this isn't Pete, it's Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

There's not a lot of hot tub action going on in Philadelphia.

[Alex]

I. I grew up.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right. You grew up somewhere.

[Alex]

But in Syracuse, New York, I grew up around poor people in the. The woods. There's no hot tubs.

[Pete Lee]

You just gave it up, fools.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

There's no hot tubs in Jamaica, you idiot.

[Alex]

I think It's Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's 100 degrees there.

[Alex]

I think it's Lewis at a resort. And, like, a girl bought weed and you went back in the room and smoked her weed while she slept.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, I will say I was a weed pincher back in the day. If you. If you. I would always. I would always. This how I got so good at rolling blunts was because, like, I'll roll the blunt, and then I'd pinch a little bit of the weed, and then I'd roll the blunt, and, you know, then I'd have more weed for later.

[Big J Okerson]

What an unscrupulous piece of.

[Zach Amico]

I feel like this is. Lewis met a rich person.

[Alex]

Yeah, I'm going, Louis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not rich, boss. Don't touch my weed.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't smoke all my weed. Leave me a little bit for the morning.

[Pete Lee]

I wish Bonnie would die.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God, you guys, let Drew just pull the. Look at his face, you idiots. Alex, whose story was story number. Look at how happy he is.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Alex]

I love this game.

[Producer Alex]

Seven belongs to Drew Montana.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What I tell you idiots.

[Pete Lee]

Wait, can we do this?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How young?

[Big J Okerson]

I erased it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know you did. How young were you?

[Alex]

Ninth grade. I was, like, 14 years old. It was like. It's right before I started selling weed. My first friend that had weed, his dad grew weed, and it was like, the shittiest weed ever. He used to keep it in a glasses case because he wore. He wore glasses and keep it in, like, the Empire vision glasses case. And, dude, he. We all went in my boy Mike's hot tub, and this dude Casey, he got too high, and he fell asleep in the hot tub. And we were like, this is perfect timing. We're gonna go in the basement and smoke the rest of his weed. And as soon as we got in the basement, we were like. He was sleeping in water, like he might be drowning. And we smoked, like, seven or eight ball packs enough. And. And then we. We went back and found him, and he was like. He was, like, kind. When we got back in the water, he was like, what the. What? What happened? We were like, we've been chilling here the whole time. And then like, an hour later, we got out of the hot tub. This is like ninth grade. When you smoke weed, you're hallucinating. And we're like, I see owls in the sky. And it was like, none of it's real. And. And then we. We went back in the basement later that night and he was like. He tried to smoke more weed. And he's like, dude, what happened? Mind you, it was in a sealed glasses case. He's like, what happened to all my weed? We were like, I don't know, man. We should look for it. We just, like, searched a basement for weed that we'd already smoked. And he never drowned, though. Great story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Great story. Drew Montana pulling ahead pretty hard right now. Anybody's game? So, Alex were appointed that in Last

[Producer Alex]

place with 8 points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do not give Pete another drink. What is wrong with you?

[Big J Okerson]

Pete.

[Zach Amico]

Pete.

[Alex]

Pete. Pete. Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pete.

[Big J Okerson]

Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are you giving him scissor? What the is wrong with you?

[Pete Lee]

I was overserved.

[Alex]

I like how. Yeah. At the beginning of the show, Pete goes. The last time I was on here, I got got hammered and I've sold out every show since. And I. The last time I was on here, I won the show and I've sold 19 tickets since. And then I. I heard that and I was like, I'm going to black out like Pete tonight, dude.

[Pete Lee]

That's 31 more tickets more than Lewis. Love you, Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sorry. Where are our points at?

[Producer Alex]

In third place, tied with 12 points each, big J Okerson and Pete Lee

[Big J Okerson]

holding in there with somebody who stopped playing three stories ago.

[Producer Alex]

In second place with 18 points, Luis J. Gomez. And in the lead with 19 points, Drew Montana.

[Alex]

Young Gravy, where'd you go? I'm in the lead. Young Gravy left, and I'm winning. What the fuck?

[Big J Okerson]

Young Gravy left because he knows there's no chance he would be taking home. Act like a lady, think like a man. Which lays out clear tactics for women who want lasting commitment. Harvey presents the 90 day rule, encouraging women to ask direct questions and stresses setting a personal timeline for marriage. His message is simple, Require effort, require clarity, and never accept less than the commitment you want. Lewis, it's up to you to keep this in house.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We got one more story, folks. Are you ready for a final story? Come on. Wait a minute. I hear Young Gravy cheering at the bar. Okay, Alex, story number eight.

[Producer Alex]

Story number eight. The first time I went to Las Vegas, I lost all of the money that I had in the world playing blackjack. My cell ph died, and I couldn't find my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure she cheated on me. It was a very unlucky evening.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, either Zach or Pete later tonight.

[Alex]

You know what I will say the first Time I went to Vegas, I lost all of. I was so poor, it was for Skank Fest. Lost all of the money I had, and I was dating another comic at the time, and my phone died, and I couldn't find her, and I assumed she was fucking Lewis the whole time. I walked around the Golden Nugget Casino. I walked around the Golden Nugget Casino looking for any small brunette woman or any tall Puerto Rican man. And I was like, I'll kill either of them. And

[Zach Amico]

we know who you're talking about. And I think she put it all on Black

[Pete Lee]

Yamanika,

[Alex]

but this is not me. But because also, she. She didn't cheat on me. We ended up at the end of the night together, so hopefully she didn't Lewis in the meantime. Hopefully she didn't.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis here's gonna do Pete. Pete will knock him back. So this could be a. A wild night in Vegas where you just lost.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I will say, PETA, Pete has been engaged multiple times, and I think he's been cheated on multiple times. Times.

[Pete Lee]

That's all that happens to me.

[Alex]

Dude, he said two in already, but that means nothing.

[Pete Lee]

I have boyfriend dick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First time I went. First time I went to Vegas, I. I didn't go with my girlfriend. First time went to Vegas, I was 22 years old, and I saw UFC 71, Chocolate L versus Quinn Rampage Jackson.

[Alex]

I had that on DVD when I was in the eighth grade. You old as, too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's crazy.

[Zach Amico]

Okay. That's an important thing. Drew, how old are you?

[Alex]

31. I'll be 32 in two weeks. Yeah. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Pretty much.

[Zach Amico]

By the time you would have been 21 and go to Vegas, everyone would have just had iPhone chargers.

[Pete Lee]

Fair.

[Alex]

But I will say, and Zach, I've never lied to you before, and I won't start now. First time I went to Vegas, and the only times I've been is for Skank Fest or with Tim Butterly one weekend featuring for him. Never been to Vegas outside of that. I never grew up around guys that liked gambling or had money to gamble. All my friends are poor. We. We vacation in Delaware.

[Pete Lee]

Too many. Too many details.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lost all the money you had in the world.

[Pete Lee]

In the world.

[Big J Okerson]

This sounds like the wild, crazy, thoughtless actions of a longtime Juggalo Zakamico. Wow.

[Alex]

Yeah. This could be a Skank Fest story because you go there with.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Alex]

Does your wife go with you?

[Zach Amico]

No.

[Alex]

No, she's never been.

[Zach Amico]

If this was my story, it would be staple. Then she cheated on me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but I think you might.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it would have said if I lost all my money buying sushi. I don't know. Something.

[Zach Amico]

Not taking improv classes.

[Alex]

Zach. Zach doesn't seem like a gambler to me.

[Pete Lee]

Me.

[Alex]

You don't seem like a guy with my health. Yeah. Very good.

[Pete Lee]

Can I ask you a serious question? Do you know when to hold them? Do you know when to fold them?

[Alex]

Nobody can hold them.

[Zach Amico]

I'm all folds.

[Alex]

You walk away.

[Pete Lee]

Do you want. Oh, you don't run.

[Zach Amico]

I am all folds and cannot walk away, nor run.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nor can he run.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Pete Lee]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

Zach's gonna be counting his money while he's sitting at the table.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It could be Zach or it could be Drew.

[Alex]

It's not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not Big J.

[Pete Lee]

Definitely not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay, when's last. When's the first time you went to Vegas?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think it was maybe skank fest.

[Alex]

Mine was skank fest. I wouldn't have told you the story about.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't. Oh, no, no. I did the Riviera. Riviera. What if.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What if Drew just literally told the whole story because he didn't admit every part of this story?

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't think it could be me at one point, but I guess it could be me.

[Alex]

Could be me.

[Big J Okerson]

I did the Riviera once, and then that was. The next time I went back was

[Alex]

Louis. If you vote for me, you're gonna lose this game. Either me or you is gonna win this game. I. I know how the scoring system works here. Either me or you is gonna win this game.

[Big J Okerson]

Game.

[Alex]

Everyone else is. If you vote for me, I win the game. So can we.

[Pete Lee]

Can we just look at how stylish. Go ahead, Lewis.

[Alex]

Go ahead, Lewis. Go ahead.

[Pete Lee]

Shut up. Shut up. Look at how stylish this is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He becomes disrespectful.

[Alex]

It's the second time someone's shushed me tonight, and I'm sorry, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love you.

[Pete Lee]

I love you. We're in Trump's administration. Look at how stylish.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is Drew playing the game right now. Who'd you vote for, Jay?

[Alex]

Zach, I haven't had a story in a while, so it could be me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Actually, I think this is Drew literally playing the game the way you're supposed to play the game. And he told us the whole story. All right, Drew Montana.

[Alex]

And if you did her this night, I'm gonna kill you.

[Pete Lee]

I'm doing this because of how he signed Zach Amico's name.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Pete Lee]

It was very.

[Alex]

Pete, this isn't you.

[Pete Lee]

I don't. I can't.

[Alex]

It's not it's not Pete.

[Pete Lee]

I'm drunk.

[Big J Okerson]

It might be Pete.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it's me getting a third story in a hilarious third story.

[Pete Lee]

Pete.

[Alex]

Are we friends?

[Pete Lee]

Yeah. And I'm also friends with the blood.

[Big J Okerson]

And that's true. He is affiliated.

[Alex]

That's Zach Amico, though.

[Big J Okerson]

That is why we watch our mouth around him. He is affiliated.

[Alex]

I'm a crip. Pete would never do this to me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of our answers are in whose story is story number eight?

[Producer Alex]

Story number eight belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I did go to Las Vegas for the first time with my ex girlfriend. That was a lie.

[Alex]

Was it also my ex girlfriend?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was. It was, you know. No, not k. It was way before that. Katie. You remember Katie back in the day? And. Yeah, I mean, she was a real. And I. I went with like $200 spending money. And the first.

[Big J Okerson]

Jesus Christ.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, the first. No, the first night I won, I won like 300 bucks playing blackjack. I was like, this is it. I'm moving to Vegas. I'm a professional blackjack player. Then the second night, I lost everything I had in the world. And it was a shitty, like, Nokia cell phone. Like, it was. This is like I'm 22 years old and it completely died. I lost her. I didn't see her again until the entire next day. I'm positive she. Yeah, the next day. I'm positive.

[Big J Okerson]

You went back to the hotel room. She didn't come back in the hotel room.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Room. I literally just traveled around the hotel all night. I couldn't get in touch with her. We were sitting with her friend Ivana, and she was talking to this black guy earlier in the night, and she was just gone. So I'm 99% positive she that black guy. And I lost every diamond milled around the casino. I just walked around the. Looking for. Looking for free weed.

[Big J Okerson]

Till the sun.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Which I found. I found free weed.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice. Till the sun came up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Till the sun came up. Yep.

[Pete Lee]

Double points.

[Alex]

I'm so mad. You just won this game. I'm so mad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, make it official.

[Alex]

I'm so mad.

[Zach Amico]

And all these years later, you're still hitting on 19 till you bust.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, make it official. What are our final points?

[Producer Alex]

Last place score wise, but first place joke wise with eight points. Zach Amico. Tied for third place with 12 points each. Big J Okerson and Pete Lee.

[Big J Okerson]

Pete Lee's gonna pass out in five minutes. I'm wide awake. I have no excuse.

[Pete Lee]

You guys. Iowa. Hawkeye's hat guy is not here.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Alex]

What the fuck?

[Pete Lee]

He's my only hope.

[Big J Okerson]

I've never heard somebody talk through a hiccup.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex.

[Producer Alex]

Second place scored 19 points. And your winner tonight with 26 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Think like a lady, think like a man. Stays in house with the Story Warriors. Luis J. Gomez is back in the W column. It stays here in the Story wars library. Thank you to our amazing fucking panel. The international superstar Zak Amico, Pete Lee, Drew Montana

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm Big J Okerson. Thank you guys for check. I did already. Thank you guys for checking out Story Wars. Until next time, Peace.

[Alex]

The Bleacher Report app is your destination

[Big J Okerson]

for sports right now.

[Alex]

The NBA's heating up.

[Big J Okerson]

Coming up, March Madness is here, and

[Alex]

MLB is almost back.

[Big J Okerson]

Every day there's a new headline, a

[Alex]

new highlight, a new moment you've got

[Big J Okerson]

to see for yourself.

[Alex]

That's why I stay locked in with

[Big J Okerson]

the Bleacher Report app.

[Alex]

For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I can follow the teams I care

[Big J Okerson]

about, get real time.

[Alex]

Scores, breaking news and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment.