087. Julian McCullough, Mike Vecchione, Kerryn Feehan | Nature

Summary

Story Warz Episode 087: “Nature”

Guests: Julian McCullough, Mike Vecchione, Kerryn Feehan

Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez

Recorded Live at The Stand Comedy Club, NYC | April 3, 2026

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Episode Overview

This high-energy, irreverent episode of Story Warz gathers a panel of sharp-witted comedians—Julian McCullough, Mike Vecchione, and Kerryn Feehan—alongside hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez. The theme is “Nature,” but as usual, the “game of deceptive storytelling” quickly warps into hilarious confessions, wild digressions, and brutal ribbing. The comedians try to out-lie and out-guess each other, with stories about animal murder, childhood trauma, and questionable outdoor exploits. Over eight rounds, the group’s competitive spirit and penchant for mischief keep the audience engaged, culminating in a hard-fought (and often accidental) victory.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Game and Its Stakes

• Game Mechanics Explained (05:08–06:29):
  • Each panelist submits 3-5 “nature”-themed stories.
  • Eight stories are randomly selected and anonymously read aloud.
  • Each round: Guess who wrote the story. Points for correct guesses and for fooling others.
  • Prize: “The Homesteader’s Natural Chicken Keeping Handbook” (a recurring punchline throughout the show).
  • Double Points activate after the first four stories, dramatically upping the stakes in the second half.

2. Early Story Rounds: Animal Carnage & Childhood Gore

• Julian’s BB Gun Nightmare (07:54–14:16):

  • Confesses to shooting a bird with a BB gun in 9th grade, feeling immediate guilt, and running home in tears.
  • Quote, Julian (14:16): “I shot a sparrow...it was injured and staring at me at the ground. And then I just went home because I didn’t want to deal with them making fun of me.”
  • The panel debates which of them could have been so sensitive, mocking each other for either their cruelty or potential to cry.
  • Big J on family toughness (09:34): “Nobody’s cried in Vecchione’s family since Sinatra died.”

• Kerryn’s Toad Graveyard (16:22–23:34):

  • Reveals she’d catch toads as a kid, seal them in buckets (“not understanding the concept of suffocation”), only to find them dead the next day.
  • Kerryn (22:28): “I would catch them and I would put them in buckets, thinking I would play with them later...And then yeah, sometimes I would go to play with them, and they did not want to play. They were fucking dead.”
  • The group dubs her “Toad Hitler” (23:35), while making dark jokes about “toad holocaust” and seasonal amphibian slaughters.

• Luis’s Dinosaur Tooth Delusion (29:01–35:09):

  • As a kid, finds what he believes is a “giant dinosaur tooth”; his mom pretends to call an “archaeologist” (or “dinosaur guy”), only to later dash his dreams.
  • Luis (34:46): “She was like, cool, I got it. I’m gonna call. Then I came home from school, I was like, what’d they say? She was like, it’s not a dinosaur, dude.”

3. Host & Guest Banter: Nature Credentials & Masculinity

• Lewis and Big J launch extended digs at each other’s lack of “nature” clout—claiming neither is truly outdoorsy despite grandstanding (58:03–63:13).
  • Luis (63:09): “Jay hates being called out on his lack of nature likeness.”
  • Riffing on camping, fishing, and their supposed urban toughness, as well as Lewis’s penchant for vacationing on tropical beaches to “peacock to fuck a child.”
• Running joke about Jay’s “anti-nature” stance and his lack of outdoor experience.

4. Guest Stories Highlight the Absurd and Bizarre

• Big Jay’s “Nature” Story Isn’t Nature (37:14–43:12, Story 4):

  • Recalls being threatened and robbed by three Black men outside of summer school—a stretch for a nature theme, drawing comedic scrutiny from the panel.
  • Big J (43:12): “It was get me out of that school or you were gonna have to keep paying these black guys through me every day, Mom.”

• Kerryn’s Sea Bather’s Eruption (48:27–53:16, Story 5):

  • Describes a Caribbean bachelorette party interrupted by “sea bather’s eruption”—painful stings from jellyfish larvae trapped in swimsuits.
  • The panel initially interprets “Sea Bather’s Eruption” as an innuendo, then is grossed out by the reality.
  • Kerryn (52:10): “They get in your bikini and stuff, and they, like, sting you. It’s like sea lice.”

• Mike’s Mellencamp Daydream (58:42–66:00, Story 6):

  • Confesses to listening to John Cougar Mellencamp’s “Scarecrow” and fantasizing about being a farmer “fighting for the land.”
  • Mike (65:03): “You tell me you listen to that song and you don’t feel like a farmer whose back is against the wall. How could you not like John Cougar Mellencamp?”

• Julian’s Gay Woods Trauma (67:58–74:01, Story 7):

  • Remembers being followed by men in “the gay woods” at Rutgers, not realizing until later what the location was known for.
  • Julian (73:10): “It wasn’t just like a couple. Then they were all spread out. It was like a horror movie.”

5. Finale: Full Circle with Jellyfish Piss

• Luis’s Jellyfish Stinger (75:32–81:12, Story 8):
  • Details being stung in the face by a jellyfish in Italy, jokingly asks family to “pee on [his] face” for relief—echoing an urban legend.
  • Luis (80:46): “I jokingly asked everyone in my family if they’d pee on my face. They all refused, but I was just joking.”
  • The group riffs on the uselessness of the pee remedy, and Julian recounts pouring his own pee on himself after a Jersey Shore jellyfish sting as a child.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• Women and Math:

  • Luis (04:05): “God, women are stupid.”
  • Kerryn’s confusion about win/loss record becomes recurring joke.

• On Toader’s Remorse:

  • Kerryn (23:34): “Those fuckers would jump out…They all died with your secrets.”

• Childhood Guilt:

  • Julian (14:44): “That’s your personality. Deadly accurate…but sensitive. And then I regret all the harm I caused.”

• Nature Cred Gatekeeping:

  • Big J (63:02): “You hate nature. Anti-nature. You want to live in a bunker.”
  • Luis (62:12): “Hey everyone. It’s not a nature story. It’s probably Lewis. Yeah, he hates nature.”

• Panel’s Blunt Honesty:

  • Mike (28:09): “He’s such an honest soul. He’s not meant for this.”

• Perpetual Ribbing:

  • The panel never misses a chance to call each other out, poke fun at insecurities, or make jokes out of others’ childhood traumas.

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Content | |:-------------:|:---------------------------------------------| | 05:08–06:29 | Game premise, rules, prizes | | 07:54–14:16 | Julian’s BB gun & guilt story (Story 1) | | 16:22–23:34 | Kerryn’s murderous toad phase (Story 2) | | 29:01–35:09 | Luis’s dino-tooth disappointment (Story 3) | | 37:14–43:12 | Jay’s “nature” mugging story (Story 4) | | 48:27–53:16 | Kerryn’s “sea bather’s eruption” (Story 5) | | 58:42–66:00 | Mike’s Mellencamp fantasy (Story 6) | | 67:58–74:01 | Julian’s gay woods hazard (Story 7) | | 75:32–81:12 | Luis’s jellyfish/urine saga (Story 8) | | 83:05 | Karen crowned as champion |

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Panel Standings at End

| Place | Name | Final Points | |--------------------|--------------------|------------------| | Winner | Kerryn Feehan | 21 | | 2nd | Luis J. Gomez | 17 | | 3rd | Mike Vecchione | 14 | | 4th | Julian McCullough | 11 | | 5th | Big Jay Oakerson | 10 |

Kerryn wins “The Homesteader’s Natural Chicken Keeping Handbook” and is honored as a repeat champion and Story Warz Hall of Famer.

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Tone & Takeaways

• Comedic, Aggressive, and Earnestly Crude: The show is a raucous blend of storytelling, one-upmanship, and roast battle energy. Even trauma or self-embarrassment is converted into punchlines.
• Nature: Despite the premise, “nature” ends up being a thin excuse to dig into dark childhood moments or stretch the meaning of nature to include getting mugged or fantasizing about farming.
• Panel Chemistry: The guests’ willingness to share, mock, and belittle creates a contagious energy—making even confessions about animal murder or accidental gay cruising funny.
• Audience Appeal: Even with the game’s competitive element, laughter and camaraderie are the episode’s real rewards.

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Notable Quotes (with Attribution & Timestamps)

• Julian, guilt-ridden hunter (14:16): “I shot a sparrow...and then I just went home because I didn’t want to deal with them making fun of me.”
• Kerryn, childhood toad killer (22:28): “Not really understanding the concept of suffocation. I was like, six...I would catch them...put them in buckets...sometimes they were fucking dead.”
• Big J, mugged as a teen (43:12): “It was get me out of that school or you were gonna have to keep paying these black guys through me every day, Mom. They seem to be pretty serious.”
• Mike, farmer at heart (65:03): “You tell me you listen to that song and you don’t feel like a farmer whose back is against the wall. How could you not like John Cougar Mellencamp?”
• Julian, gay woods survivor (73:10): “They were all spread out. It was like a horror movie...they were all looking at me and not really walking directly at me, but not getting further away.”
• Karen, jellyfish victim (52:10): “They get in your bikini and stuff, and they, like, sting you. It’s like sea lice.”
• Luis, on “jellyfish cure” (80:46): “I jokingly asked everyone in my family if they’d pee on my face. They all refused, but I was just joking.”

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Final Thoughts

The “Nature” episode of Story Warz is a relentless roast session wrapped around a panel game, where authenticity is secondary to the strength of the punchline and the art of the bluff. Whether riffing on animal murder, failed outdoor adventures, or urban run-ins, the group’s chemistry ensures there’s never a dull moment—and that personal embarrassment is always up for grabs.

Karen Feehan’s win cements her as a masterful liar and “nature” antihero.

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For more unfiltered fun and future episodes, check out Story Warz live, or subscribe for the uncensored version at GaS Digital Network.

Transcript

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[Karen Feehan]

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[Karen Feehan]

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[Big J Okerson]

Select homes only.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Fill her up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network,

[Luis J. Gomez]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's story war.

[Big J Okerson]

Story warriors.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Big j okerson and lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Jake omez. Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. Now you're fine. You're not bleeding at all.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Josh is right, everyone.

[Big J Okerson]

Man, we could turn that sofa.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You to me. Oh, dude, I. It hit the bridge of my nose so hard.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I wish I would have seen it. It would have been so funny. I bet. Welcome to Story Awards, everybody. Can we make some noise near for me, New York, please.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Sold out show. Six months in a row, we've been selling out the show. Thank you guys for being here. And if you guys want to come watch Story wars live, we are here every Wednesday night at the New York Comedy Club in midtown.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

How many people here familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Luis J. Gomez]

And who is not familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Mike Vecchione]

Whoa.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

That must be the first time ever. Nobody.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think somebody's lying here.

[Big J Okerson]

Who do you think's lying? That little Mexican. Slash possibly Filipino boy. Who knows this guy wearing a fake glasses and beard to hide from the cops.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, look, I'm very excited about today's show. It's gonna be a fun one.

[Big J Okerson]

We have a fantastic one. And if you're unfamiliar with the game or if it is your first time, we will explain it after we get our esteemed panel of comedian contestants up here. Our first contestant with a record of.01 here on Story Wars. He is currently on tour with Nate Bargatz. You can catch him on the TV show the Greatest Average American. How about it for the hilarious Julia McCull?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Julian, happy to have you back. As you're trying to figure out how a chair works.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's tough, man. They changed chairs.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Everything's different now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's different. You guys are also successful.

[Mike Vecchione]

What's up?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look at all these people that acted like they were here for Story Wars.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Fantastic. It must be a theater group.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I showed how blind this guy. Sir, your glasses are so strong. No, I. It's hurting my eyes. To look at your eyes through your

[Big J Okerson]

glasses, you're giving Louis astigmatism.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Those glasses are so strong. It's like a sad story.

[Big J Okerson]

That's like a prescription they couldn't figure out till last year. His whole Life.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Your next competitor with a record of 1 and 3 in story war. So she is a story warrior. You know her from her podcast only fans, and she's been on scene on the Netflix show Tires, clapping up for the one and only Karen Feehan.

[Karen Feehan]

Oh, God, Julian's such a gentleman.

[Big J Okerson]

He really is, isn't he?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just figured out how chairs work. So showing off.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he can't wait to show people now.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen, you've won before. You are a story warrior.

[Karen Feehan]

You said my record was 0 3.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I said it was 1 and 3.

[Karen Feehan]

1 3. I won three times.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not how win loss works.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You won one time and lost three times?

[Karen Feehan]

Oh, fuck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

God, women are stupid.

[Karen Feehan]

No, I really was like, to me, I was like, one is there. I won three times. I just forgot about the other two. No, but I won once.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You did win once.

[Karen Feehan]

You know what that means.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We know what that means, but no, not now, Karen. Not now. Wait till the second half. She's so excited. She came in, she was like, I'm allowed to say it, right?

[Big J Okerson]

It is tempting to say it before.

[Karen Feehan]

No, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna. I want to so bad.

[Big J Okerson]

Our final contestant, last but not least, with a record of 0 and 1, right here on Story Wars. He has a special out called Low Income White. He is hilarious. He is our friend. He is Mike Vecchion. Make some noise.

[Mike Vecchione]

Thank you, guys.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Mike vecchion.

[Mike Vecchione]

Happy, happy January 6th.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He says it every day. Mike, you were on a very long time ago. You were on the early, early days of Story.

[Mike Vecchione]

It was three clubs. I'm glad you guys are in a cozier space.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we already tightened it up a little bit. Thank you all three for being here. If you are not familiar with the game Story wars, it's your first time listening at home. It is a very simple game. All five of us on this panel, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, Nature.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nature.

[Big J Okerson]

Nature.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen has all period stories.

[Big J Okerson]

Class it up, you pig. Our lovely producer Alex is going to take eight of those stories at random and read them one at a time. They're going to appear here on the screen. If it is your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to make people think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Every time you guess the story correctly, you get two points for every person you fool on the panel. You get one point. So when it's your story, that's a huge opportunity. You can get up to four points. When it is your story, you don't want to waste that opportunity. Once you write your answer on the dry erase board, put the dry erase board in the slot right here and remove your hand. That's it. That's your final answer. You cannot change after that. And I'll tell you right now, we're gonna have so much fun tonight, all right? Everyone's gonna have fun. Even this blind guy in the front row is gonna have a ton of fun. But we're not playing for fun. Jay let him know what we're playing for today.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay was still breathing.

[Big J Okerson]

Every week here on storywars, we are playing for a book from the Story wars library. Tonight's winner will take home the Homesteader's Natural Chicken Keeping Handbook by Amy K. F. Natural Chicken Keeping Handbook explains how to raise healthy chickens using simple natural methods. Author Amy K. Felwolt walks readers through the basics of caring for a flock, including choosing the right breeds, building a coop, feeding the chickens properly, and creating a routine that keeps the birds healthy and productive. Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wow. I mean, you know, just with that description, I found out that there are breeds of chickens.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at that. That's learning.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what they say, chickens crave structure.

[Big J Okerson]

They really do.

[Karen Feehan]

I win or lose, I'm buying that book.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

I'm gonna learn.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There's pictures. This is a great book.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm sure it's great. I'm sure it's. I'm more of a falcon guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Mike comes from a long line of falconers.

[Karen Feehan]

He gives falconer.

[Big J Okerson]

I think everybody who's gonna get it, gets it. And I think, without any further ado, are we ready for war?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Come on, folks. Are you ready for war?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, then, Alexandria, if you would, please. Story number one.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number one. I went BB gun hunting in 9th grade and I shot a bird, but it didn't die. I started crying and left without telling anyone.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I've never cried,

[Big J Okerson]

so this can't be me. Wow. That's not true. You cry. It's weird looking, but I don't know why I'm getting this. This seems like the gentle origin story of a Julian McKellar. For some reason, it does. But he sounded.

[Mike Vecchione]

He seemed.

[Big J Okerson]

Julian's the guy who would do some of the cool kids getting out there, BB gunning, and then he does it. And then when they're BB Gu. And then when they. And then when all the other kids, when all the other kids leave, he goes, like heard it.

[Mike Vecchione]

If it was Lewis, he would have turned the gun on himself.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I did shoot a BB gun when I was probably around that age. But it was one. It was a one pump handheld BB gun and there was a pigeon sitting on a phone line and I shot it and it just bounced off its chest and it went. That was it.

[Mike Vecchione]

Last words.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know this really.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, I didn't grow up in the woods.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't need woods for this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean that. You didn't. You don't have to grow up in the woods. There was woods around where you grew up. There was some woods.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, wait. The bird didn't die.

[Big J Okerson]

No, that's why this is my story.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Never mind. Why would you start crying if the bird didn't die, you fucking quibo.

[Big J Okerson]

Becky own comes from my house where you're not allowed to cry or you get a cigar put out on your cries. In this house, men.

[Mike Vecchione]

We would ate the bird with a side of linguine.

[Karen Feehan]

There's just no specificity to this story. It's Bob, like, what kind of bird was it? Like, when you go BB gun hunting, you go alone. What do you do? What consists of a BB gun hunt?

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is Karen's story. You bitch. She's asking all these weird questions that make no sense.

[Big J Okerson]

You think Karen Feehan in ninth grade was a crack shot? Hey, guys, guys, guys.

[Karen Feehan]

It's okay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They don't know why we're doing this at home.

[Big J Okerson]

That's fine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

I was pointing at Lewis, I was pointing somebody else all over the place.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like Vecchion always has this like secret, like ocean of melancholy right under the surface. I can see this being an origin story for him.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't let that out to the world. Do you yell that at a religious statue?

[Mike Vecchione]

BB gun. I kept it under my pillow at night.

[Big J Okerson]

You never know when the heat's around the corner.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I do think her questions were suspicious. I think it's Karen.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, I saw Jade deflecting pretty hard.

[Big J Okerson]

Sure.

[Mike Vecchione]

You know what I mean. It's could. It sounds very much. I'll be honest with you, it sounds very much Rockland county to me. It screams Rockland County.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I will say we had BB guns. We would shoot him at gun.

[Mike Vecchione]

But the crying part does not sound like Louis.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I mean he does cry, but not over bird death or. Yeah, or just hurting a bird. That's not really his speed back then. I don't think it's Mike.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay, did you have BB guns when you were that age?

[Big J Okerson]

Ninth grade, probably. Yeah. Pelican. I had at one point.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Same thing.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, but you lived in the city. You lived in West Philly. This wasn't happening.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you needed that to defend yourself

[Big J Okerson]

in ninth grade for sure. I was still. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. That was when you had to bring your textbooks in a pizza box.

[Mike Vecchione]

We had our birds. Code for Dominican.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen, have you ever shot a BB gun?

[Karen Feehan]

No.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I know. We went. She. We shotguns in the woods.

[Karen Feehan]

Real guns. Yeah, I was awesome at that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

But BB gun? No. I'm a girl. This obviously isn't me. We would never do this. Like. And it didn't die. I'm just saying, if I accidentally ever shot a bird and it was dying, I would crush its skull. I wouldn't let it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, come on.

[Karen Feehan]

You guys wouldn't crush it?

[Mike Vecchione]

That's not even in the second Amendment. That's not even the second Amendment. The skull crusher.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think it's Karen anymore.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Neither do I, but I'm.

[Big J Okerson]

Hard

[Lewis J. Gomez]

to call it.

[Big J Okerson]

BB gun hunting is an interesting thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You get hard in the beginning just so you can make that joke. At any point, you're like,

[Luis J. Gomez]

this could be anybody. But I think, Jay, you're right. With your initial. Initial assessment with Julian McCullough, this.

[Big J Okerson]

This. This slaps of Julian to me.

[Karen Feehan]

It's Vecchion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's. I think it's Vecchion.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, it could be Karen, though. The word. Listen to me. The words BB gun hunting, no man would say that I went BB gun hunting.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody's cried in Vecchion's family since Sinatra died. That was the only time it was okay. I shed a tear for all blue eyes. That's it.

[Karen Feehan]

I changed my mind at the last minute. I think it's Julia.

[Big J Okerson]

There's always a fun way to find out. People aren't friends and don't know how to spell each other's names.

[Karen Feehan]

I knew that. Is it an irony?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Did anyone spell anyone's name correct here?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I could have just spoke. Mike.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There's two C's.

[Karen Feehan]

Mike's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I knew it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I did good. I did good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I spelled it the real way before they changed it at the docks or whatever that is.

[Big J Okerson]

True.

[Mike Vecchione]

Those Irish at Ellis island, when those

[Big J Okerson]

Kindle landed, they threw that extra C in there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There's no O in my Puerto Rican name. Mike, we've been friends for two decades.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn it, Julian.

[Big J Okerson]

Mike, look again and let it hurt your feelings. Again for a second time. All right.

[Mike Vecchione]

No, it's the Norwegian version of it.

[Big J Okerson]

I can't see it There.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There we go.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, great.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in who went BB gun hunting?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number one belongs to Julian McCullough.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But listen, I have a couple things to defend. So. The first time I did this show, I put in way too much detail and then you couldn't even use my stories. So this time I took all the detail and you guys are like, there is no detail in this story.

[Big J Okerson]

Only she said that. I think this is a well written story for this game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was with a group of other 9th grade boys. I shot a sparrow. And then it was injured and staring at me at the ground. And they were like, what's going on? And I was like, nothing. And then I just went home because I didn't want to deal with them making fun of me.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn. I guess your story, essentially, yeah. The big boys were making you do something you didn't want to do. And then you heard a bird and

[Lewis J. Gomez]

then wait for the bird. I mean, when you said that, I was like, no wonder you're a master seducer. You just look into people's faces, souls. It's really.

[Mike Vecchione]

But Julian, that's your personality. Deadly accurate.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And then.

[Mike Vecchione]

But sensitive.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know. And then I regret all the harm I caused.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right.

[Karen Feehan]

Did you suffered to death instead of having crushed up little skull?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Did the bird eventually die?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Julian, it was not coming back, so if that's what you mean. Unless there's like a bird, Dr. Bird.

[Big J Okerson]

Like in the bird community.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. Like, unless there's. All the birds are like, is there a doctor? And another bird's like, I'll take a look.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. He thinks of headphones. I'm a doctor.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex, one story down, where are our points at?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Now all the stories with no details are going to be like, well, that's like I. All right, go ahead.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In last place with zero points, Mike Vecchione.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, all right.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In fourth place with one point, Julian McCullough.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How did I even get a point?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Untied for first place with two points each, Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Okerson and Karen Feehan.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I like it. I like it. Alex, story number two. That's a little less.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're getting older.

[Big J Okerson]

What the hell was that racket? What's that racket?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who listens to this?

[Big J Okerson]

Who asked for this?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that nu metal

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

story number two. I used to catch toads in my backyard and put them in sealed buckets Sometimes my mom would free them and sometimes they would die.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. I really think this is.

[Karen Feehan]

This is just Julia. Julian's reign of terror. How I tortured the woodland creatures.

[Mike Vecchione]

You could tell this is Julian because it sounds like a poem kind of. Sometimes I would free them, sometimes they would die.

[Big J Okerson]

And sometimes. Such is life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I used to catch toads.

[Big J Okerson]

I thought this was either Karen or Lewis. My first two thoughts. One of the two of you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hi.

[Karen Feehan]

For some reason I'm just like not into this slow death. Like, it's not my thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I also don't know if you already know like a catching toads now this. I'll tell you why Lewis won't even think this is me for a second. There's no point in my life where anyone will be like, hey, hold this toad. And I wouldn't go, that's because Jay

[Luis J. Gomez]

used to be a toad. And then a princess kissed him and he became this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The. Is that supposed to be. And then he became a goth toad.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, a bit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I mean, Lewis grew up in like a shanty town or something, so they don't have to. He didn't have a backyard. Right. I didn't read your book.

[Big J Okerson]

He had toads and just Lewis had. Definitely had toads and just his mom.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. And you got to be awake to liberate toads.

[Big J Okerson]

But once in a while she would

[Luis J. Gomez]

be awake and then sometimes they would die. No, I mean, I. I didn't have toads in my backyard. I did grow up in the suburbs of Rockland County, New York.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you did? Okay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, there. I mean, there was a. There was a pond nearby. There was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sounds like pretty toady paradise.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but not my backyard. I. I mean, I grew up in. There was like a multi family.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why I thought you grew up in Massachusetts. Karen, right?

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Was it rural part or. No.

[Karen Feehan]

What do you mean?

[Big J Okerson]

Not rural, but I mean like. Like so. But there was woods and upper.

[Karen Feehan]

Upper middle class.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, the upper middle class people, they got creeks in their backyard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

Also, you think I wasn't allowed to play with toads?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

I'm a girl.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, the license plate for Massachusetts says the toad state, so that's a big clue.

[Mike Vecchione]

That is big.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a dumb slogan.

[Karen Feehan]

Two for two.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is it fair to play this with her? It's a game about lying and she believes everything you said. Okay, this is tough. I'm going to go. I mean Massachusetts.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Shut the up, sir. You're not playing. You're watching. Veon. Where do. Where. What.

[Big J Okerson]

What type of backyard Florida.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Florida.

[Mike Vecchione]

Florida.

[Big J Okerson]

There are tons.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There are tons of toads in Florida.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. It's, like, swampy there.

[Big J Okerson]

It's swampy.

[Karen Feehan]

He's been very quiet.

[Big J Okerson]

Mm. Mike was at practice for 15 different sports from morning till night. He wasn't allowed to play with toads. Not in that house. Mr. No.

[Karen Feehan]

It sounds like he was trying to gather a team of them.

[Big J Okerson]

Now there's no room for weakness in the Vecchio household.

[Mike Vecchione]

We were trying to take Libya at that time. All the toads.

[Karen Feehan]

He was getting his protein via toad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I think he saw Mike Tyson chase pigeons to train, and he was like, our pigeons are toads.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So I'm getting Karen or Mike Vecchion vibes. Big J's already written my name on his board. He didn't put it up there yet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm afraid to spell anything.

[Karen Feehan]

I think it might be I'm in between Louis Vecchione and Julian.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What is it?

[Big J Okerson]

College.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's.

[Big J Okerson]

See?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was funny. So you got it. You got it narrowed down? You got it narrowed down to three out of five people.

[Karen Feehan]

Stop.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Right.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Stop.

[Big J Okerson]

Three out of four. She knows you're not her. I have it narrowed down to not one person.

[Mike Vecchione]

The toad didn't have his head bashed in. So that eliminates Karen.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. But I'm telling you. Karen, Karen, Karen. You spelled it wrong.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There's the second R for retard. Remember?

[Karen Feehan]

R squared.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen's putting out her vote for Mike. Why Mike? Karen.

[Karen Feehan]

I just. I went with my gut. Mike.

[Mike Vecchione]

It is this screams of rock.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be Mike, but I'm going with Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait. Did I just fall for the best liar? I did this the first time. I. I just. Lewis is. I forgot what a good liar he is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm great at lying. Karen remembers.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know. She also didn't get any better at figuring it out. But I. I just. I realized. I think it's.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm not going to. It's not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I took my hand off.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's not me. But I am getting Mike Vecchione vibes right now. He's getting nervous. I see the look on his face right now. I'm going to go with Mike Vecchione. It was either Karen or Mike, But Mike is my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just put Mike.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Florida. Florida answer.

[Big J Okerson]

Everybody's in.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Alex, Story number two belongs to Karen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cb Yes.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm terrible at this game, Man.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

Good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm so stupid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Huh?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, you got it.

[Big J Okerson]

You got it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Julia.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know why you're bragging to me. Yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You are.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because I figured it out.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen. Tell us the story. You did catch toads. Your parents. You were a girl. You were a little toad girl.

[Karen Feehan]

I used to do it all the time. My mom would scream at me. She's like, you did it again, Karen. I would. Yeah, I would catch him and I would put him in buckets, thinking I would play with them later.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

Not really understanding the concept of suffocation. I was like, six.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

And then, yeah, sometimes I would go to play with them, and they did not want to play. They were fucking dead.

[Mike Vecchione]

But did you have. Did you have to seal the bucket?

[Karen Feehan]

Well, how. They were gonna jump out.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, their toes. What do you mean? It's called freedom.

[Karen Feehan]

What do you mean? They forgot they were my best friend. Once I put them in the bucket, those fuckers would jump out.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How many toads.

[Big J Okerson]

They all died with your secrets.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How many toads do you think you murdered in your life per summer?

[Big J Okerson]

Per summer.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's like, I did this from 4 to 18, so 7,000.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. My dad was so proud. She's like, she's on toad cleanup again.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude. Toad holocaust.

[Karen Feehan]

No, probably like 10 or 10 or 15 or something.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a lot.

[Big J Okerson]

She's Toad Hitler.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right. Well, that was the dark and morbid story. We said nature. All the stories so far have been

[Big J Okerson]

murdering animals or watching it slowly die from. From a little ding.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I didn't stay and watch.

[Big J Okerson]

I could ran home and cry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I ran home and cried. Sorry. Well, I was crying while. Anyway, it doesn't matter.

[Big J Okerson]

But you knew. Yeah, you knew.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, two stories down, give us our points.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In last place, with zero points, Mike Vecchione.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my.

[Mike Vecchione]

Don't take such pleasure in saying it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's such an honest soul. He's not meant for this.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm not.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Tied for third place with two points each, Louis J. Gomez and Big J Okerson. In second place, with three points, Julian McCullough.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

And in the lead with five points, Karen Feehan.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's Women's Month. It's Women's Month.

[Karen Feehan]

I feel electric.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, guys, let's take a quick moment to thank Ridge for supporting the show. They have lots of great things like luggage and the best wallets on the planet.

[Big J Okerson]

Luggage is dope.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But let's talk about the power bank, which is a five to one power bank that lets you charge anything at any time. A mag safe, wireless, charging, lightning and USB C cables. And Ridge has you covered. The Ridge Power bank holds up to three full phone charges and powers your device fast. Did you bring it anywhere?

[Big J Okerson]

I bring it on the plane. That's where I use it always. Yeah, I just plug my phone on the plane, never have to worry about it going out. And I also plug in my AirPod case while I'm listening to my AirPods. So they're always charging charge multiple things

[Luis J. Gomez]

at the same time.

[Big J Okerson]

They have olive green base, camp orange and matte black. Different color options if you want to look cool. And it comes with free shipping and a 99 day risk free trial, which is pretty awesome. It's the last power bank you're ever going to need. One thing to pack five ways to power and you can find the power bank at Best Buy or Story Wars. Fans can get 10% off if you go right to ridge.com by using the code wars with a Z W A R Z at checkout. Just head over to ridge.com use that code wars and you're all set.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, let's take a quick moment to thank Mando for supporting the show. Mando. Best deodorant on the planet. Total body deodorant. I put it on my balls, my taint, my armpits. It's clinical strength Whole body deodorant. It controls sweats and odor anywhere in your body for 72 hours. This is not bullshit. This is real deal. Best deodorant I've ever used in my entire life. People used to say I stink like shit before I started using Mando.

[Big J Okerson]

Not now, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No dude. Everyone talks about how good I smell.

[Big J Okerson]

Now fucking you smell like man.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, damn doggy. It doesn't just mass deodor, it prevents it. And 100% of study participants experience odor control all day. Premium ingredients. It's fresh dry all day long. No parabens or baking soda to set yourself up with a subscription today. And never worry about stinking again.

[Big J Okerson]

Some men mask their BO with sense. Mando men get the job done right. Don't mask it. Mando it. And for a limited time, new customers get 20 off site wide with our exclusive code wars with a Z W a r [e-mail] that's S-H-O-P-M-A-N--O.com with that code wars with a Z for 20 off plus free shipping. I'd love to talk about one of our new sponsors, but I can't help but notice. Louis, your super floppy wiener.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, my wiener's been pretty good.

[Big J Okerson]

Not right now it's not. You Must have missed a dose.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hold on. Dude, just touch it for a second. Watch. Watch this. Whoa. That's him.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. Stimulation.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No, no, I'm not gonna. It just doesn't. You don't just walk around with a rock hard boner all day, but once you touch, it pops up.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude. I did think that's what it was at first.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

With those kind of medications.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, of course I took it.

[Big J Okerson]

And I was like, I'll let you know when it's ready to go. And I was like, wow, nothing happened. Didn't work.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What a scam.

[Big J Okerson]

I guess the whole thing is bullshit.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And then you went to go pee, you touched your dick. You're like, oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God. My touch is so awesome. It's like Molly for your dick. Yeah, dude, dick Molly.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Look, millions of guys struggle with ed and hems can help you out with that and do something about it. They give access to a range of prescription treatment options for erectile dysfunction with generics for Viagra that costs 95% less than brand name versions. They do it all online. You talk to a doctor right on the website, they prescribe you the necessary prescription and boom, they send it right to your door. What an incredible system to get rid of your ed.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, dude, you're so hard and your hair is going to grow back and you're going to be less fat so quick.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, they have all of those options.

[Big J Okerson]

They do ed, hair loss, weight loss, and so much more. Over at hims.com wars this is called Louis Gomez.com. yeah, yeah. Lewis's GoFundMe. Yeah, one more time. That's hims h I m s hims.com wars for your free online visit right now. Hims.com wars with a Z. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Sildenafil is a generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Viatris Specialty llc. A Viatris company. HIMS Incorporated is not affiliated with or endorsed by Viatris Specialty llc.

[Karen Feehan]

See?

[Big J Okerson]

All right, let's get back into it. Alex, story number three.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number three. When I was a kid, I found what I thought was a giant dinosaur tooth in the woods. My mother lied to me and told me she called an archaeologist to confirm it was not, in fact, a dinosaur tooth.

[Big J Okerson]

Now this feels like Casa de Vacchione

[Mike Vecchione]

because none of your other mothers know an archaeologist. Absolutely no one would believe.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom doesn't know what an archaeologist does. Lewis's mom died before there was archaeologists.

[Karen Feehan]

She did a different Kind of digging?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

My mom got heroin from an archaeologist. I mean. Yeah, My. My first instinct. I don't know why is Julian. This seems like a sweet story. Like a sweet, naive young Julian.

[Karen Feehan]

Why would you go to the lengths of faking to call an archaeologist just to later tell your son that you lied about calling an archaeologist?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, say that again.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I don't know.

[Karen Feehan]

How does.

[Mike Vecchione]

She didn't ever came clean.

[Karen Feehan]

How does. How does he.

[Luis J. Gomez]

How do you know, Mike?

[Mike Vecchione]

My mother lied to me.

[Big J Okerson]

Told me she called our.

[Karen Feehan]

That's what I like. How do you know she lied? Died. Why don't you believe that she called an archaeologist? Like, why isn't it just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So it's someone who still has a relationship with their mother?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So this whole panel's out how.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my mother is fantastic.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, right.

[Big J Okerson]

And she would have just told me it was a dinosaur.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but your mom thinks it's pronounced archaeologist, so it wouldn't have been.

[Big J Okerson]

You're not wrong about that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She's like somebody shoots arrows.

[Big J Okerson]

She's not the brightest one, but she's

[Lewis J. Gomez]

somebody who studies McDonald's.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe she's not the brightest woman, but she would have celebrated my dinosaur tooth finding.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay, did you grow up near woods? Yeah, there was woods near you?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

In Jersey?

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, in Philly. West Philly. Over there, Overbrook. There's all woods over there. Oh.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, no, those are backwoods. Those are blunts.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay, I'm about to go deep on this one. So what looks like a giant dinosaur tooth is. Can be an arrow. Right. And in South Jersey, there was a ton of Indian tribes. Sorry, whatever the word is now. And Injun.

[Karen Feehan]

Redskin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you. Half breed.

[Big J Okerson]

Redskin tribes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So, yeah, redskin tribes and so generals. So anyway, point is, that's j. For geographical reasons. Geological region.

[Big J Okerson]

When I was a kid, I didn't live in South Jersey.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where'd you live?

[Big J Okerson]

You did. Lived in South Jersey. That was a very good description of. I guess this is now you. I was in West Philly till I was 17.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh. Oh, really?

[Luis J. Gomez]

An arrowhead. Doesn't look like a giant dinosaur tooth. Maybe a tiny dinosaur.

[Big J Okerson]

The arrowhead that Julian found it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You didn't see this? I mean, I think I. Look, this is like poker. I don't know about people's personal histories, but it feels to me like Mike is lying with his whole personality, with his whole, like, vibe.

[Big J Okerson]

You're saying, generally speaking, Mike is very stiff.

[Mike Vecchione]

This was not me. This was not me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, there you go.

[Mike Vecchione]

I didn't mess around with dinosaur.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, Wonder you weren't. No wonder you weren't allowed in the mafia, Mike, you're the worst. I didn't do it.

[Mike Vecchione]

I'm trying to help you.

[Big J Okerson]

You're my friend.

[Mike Vecchione]

I want to see you win.

[Big J Okerson]

You were Florida for one age.

[Mike Vecchione]

I want to see you win.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't want you to get sucked in.

[Big J Okerson]

What age did you go to Florida to?

[Mike Vecchione]

This narrative?

[Luis J. Gomez]

What age?

[Big J Okerson]

When you went to Florida, how old

[Mike Vecchione]

were you the first time? I was eight. And then we moved back to Ohio and then back to Florida when I was 16.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Was it because you had to be sure about a dinosaur tooth?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I'm just saying Ohio will have woods. I don't know how. How much woods in Florida. Florida has.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but lousy is. I mean, Florida's lousy with archaeologists.

[Karen Feehan]

And there were more dinosaurs in Florida than any other state.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's can't be verified at all.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, now it makes me think it's Karen.

[Mike Vecchione]

Karen's just making stuff up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's just making stuff up to make it not her.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Was it. Were there dinosaurs that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

As we all know, the only dinosaurs ever found in America were in Florida.

[Mike Vecchione]

So in.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In the United.

[Mike Vecchione]

They would just go down there for the winter.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, they would. Snowbirds.

[Big J Okerson]

That was a very telling conversation. I feel like I believe this to be Mike. I think it's Veone. I'll write his last name so you know, I'm a good friend.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm just going Veone too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Disposition. I'm going to go by Mike. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, Mike.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's got to be Lewis. At some point.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Two cc's of H, like my mom liked.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't worry. Yeah, I know how your name's spelled.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thanks, folks. Everyone says Mike, you idiot. You dumbass. What chose me?

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes, Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Who you, Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's Lewis.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number three belongs to Lewis

[Karen Feehan]

man.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes, yes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

My mom didn't necessarily say she called an archaeologist. She said she called the dinosaur guy

[Lewis J. Gomez]

because she didn't know the word.

[Mike Vecchione]

That would have tipped it too much.

[Big J Okerson]

She said archaeologist. You know what she meant?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I. I found. I mean, what I think. I don't even know what it really was. It was like a giant. Like it was like this big and it was shaped like a giant tooth. And I was like, mom, there's a fucking dinosaur tooth in the woods. I swear to God. And she was like, no, it's not a dinosaur. I was like, no, no, you don't even fucking know. And I wouldn't let it up. I was like, you gotta call the museum. I swear to God, they're gonna come. Like, the Museum of Natural History. I wanted her to call, and eventually she was like, cool, I got it. I'm gonna call. Then I came home from the school. I was like, what'd they say? She was like, it's not a dinosaur, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Poor kid, he came back, he thought he found a dinosaur dude just laying loose on the ground. No one else spotted it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, literally, he didn't dig for it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, oh, shit. A dinosaur tooth. Oh, no one else happened to snag that. Lucky me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, I don't know what it was. It could have been like some sort of. Like, it was. It looked like almost like chalk, but it was tooth shaped, like this big, huge. Maybe it was big. Maybe it was smaller because that was

[Lewis J. Gomez]

a little toilet seat.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Three stories down, this is American Standard.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Tied for fourth place with two points each, Big J. Okerson and Mike Vecchion.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

Was a whip.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In third place with three points, Julian McCullough. And tied for the lead with five points each, Louis J. Gomez and Karen Feehan.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's right, bitch.

[Karen Feehan]

All right. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it.

[Karen Feehan]

I was so excited to see you tonight and hang out.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis does not want to get out of his grip. The Homesteader's Natural Chicken Keeping Handbook, which focuses on practical techniques that work for backyard keepers and small homesteads. The book covers topics like egg production, seasonal care, predator protection, and how to recognize common health problems in a flock. Fetwell also includes various recipes for using eggs and poultry. It's heating up, Alex. Story number four.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number four. I was threatened by three black dudes outside of my school. They asked for my money. Naturally, I gave it to them.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is not nature, Mike.

[Karen Feehan]

It's Mike. That's Mike. I mean, how would you mean naturally?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I guess. Quite the stretch.

[Karen Feehan]

It's Mike.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, Jay just told us he grew up in West Philadelphia.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, for sure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

Well, Florida has lots of black people, too.

[Mike Vecchione]

Black people and dinosaurs. Right, Karen? That's what Florida's known for.

[Big J Okerson]

Mike was also a teacher at, like, bad kids schools.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's good point.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. Mike.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Mike lived.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if he was robbed by students.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that. Actually, they made that Michelle Pfeiffer movie Dangerous Minds about Mike's life.

[Big J Okerson]

He was the fifer.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

It actually doesn't say students.

[Mike Vecchione]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Outside my school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

If I didn't know any better. This has gotta be Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

If you know any better about what, I wouldn't take that shit. The only reason you're getting six black dudes before I give up my money, sir.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then they'd each get a doll,

[Big J Okerson]

and then everybody gets lunch.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Big J vibes as well. And it's only because Big J doesn't do things in nature. So he had a really far inception.

[Karen Feehan]

He's hurt. He loves nature.

[Big J Okerson]

He's done plenty of things in nature.

[Karen Feehan]

I know you have.

[Big J Okerson]

Of course, Lewis likes to insult me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

James does not do nature things.

[Karen Feehan]

Yes, he does.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He hates nature.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, wait a second. The only person that noticed that was Lewis. So that means he was thinking that when he wrote it.

[Big J Okerson]

It'll be back to.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Was that. Was that a truth alarm? What was that saying?

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I did think about Lewis for a second because he said thing. He goes, that's a stretch for nature. It was like, that's a. He's done that thing before where he's like, what? I don't know how this even applies.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but you know what? You learn from the best, and I think that's what you're doing right now.

[Big J Okerson]

No, thank you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thank you, sir.

[Big J Okerson]

Glasses guy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

There was glasses guy. Glasses guy. GL can see through you clear as day. He actually has X rays vision.

[Big J Okerson]

He knows my heart's palpitated.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Classes guy. Can you tell me how many beats per minute his heart is going right now?

[Big J Okerson]

I'm full. I'm total Zen, dude. I think it's Mike or Lewis.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's Mike or J. I think Julian or Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Julian.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is not Lewis. Lewis fought the neighbors. Didn't you fight the neighbors?

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis isn't fighting three black dudes.

[Karen Feehan]

It's.

[Mike Vecchione]

They were neighbors.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They were.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'd be like, let's go find somebody else to rob. Come on, boys. I'm on your side now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll be your leader.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not Karen.

[Karen Feehan]

It doesn't even say. Yeah, it would be a different verb. Not threatened.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I was. I was. I was throated. I was throated by three. Yeah, that's the sound you made.

[Karen Feehan]

Here's my thing. What's threatened? Because there's no, like, guns or not, like, you guys keep saying robbed, but

[Lewis J. Gomez]

they don't get threatened is, give me

[Luis J. Gomez]

your money, white boy.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, I forgot.

[Mike Vecchione]

Give me your money, white boy.

[Karen Feehan]

Give me your money, white boy. I guess I'm just, like, ready for the next story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This could be Jay's origin story for getting into comedy, if you think about it.

[Big J Okerson]

Cause he was like, I gave him the money. Hilariously.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you're like, if I had been able to defend myself with humor.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. I go reaching my pocket for my money, and they pulled out. I went,

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'll give you my money,

[Big J Okerson]

but chase me around the car while I play Benny Hill music.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, I'm getting Big J vibes. Big J, this is your story to prove that's not yours. Is this you?

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. Lamberton High School.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is your west side Story bit.

[Big J Okerson]

This is dude, except that won't be sang and danced.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

And this one. I gave them my money. Apparently,

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna get the voting going. I. I can't see it being anyone else. I mean, it could maybe be Veo, but I'm getting Big J vibes.

[Big J Okerson]

Move here the end and size him up. I think it's just Mike working at a bad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's Jay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Everyone thinks it's Big J. Everyone in the room thinks it's Big J. Karen's writing Big J. Oh, if it's not Jay, somebody just clean the up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is West Philly. And then after this, Jay took a cab to Bel Air.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom was terrified.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I want to see this guy spitting Jay around on his shoulders. Alex, who was threatened by three black people.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number four belongs to Big Trump.

[Big J Okerson]

I stopped caring about winning story wars months ago. I just put the stories that are funny.

[Karen Feehan]

I kept thinking about Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

This was painfully. Obviously from the get go. None of you engage with black people as young people. You. Yeah, this was summer school. When I walked down to summer school, a guy fucking grabbed me by the shirt and pulled me into the window of his car. And he goes. He goes, give me your money. Which I had very little of, but I gave it to him. And he goes. He goes, you're gonna bring me money every day for the rest of the summer, right? And I went, mm, mm. And then he let me go. And then I sat there and lip curl cried till my mom got there, like. And then I begged my mom to take me out of that summer school, and she did. Jewish mom.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Naturally, she did.

[Big J Okerson]

Naturally. It was get me out of that school or you were gonna have to keep paying these black guys through me every day. Mom. They seem to be pretty serious.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is the only nature story you can come up with? There wasn't a time where you took a hike.

[Big J Okerson]

I submitted several stories. Lewis, stop acting like you're fucking Mr. Nature because you fucking bang 20 year olds on an island. That's not nature. That's fucking peacocking to fuck a child.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Peacocks live in nature.

[Big J Okerson]

Peacocks do live in Nature, I'll give you that. All right, I take it back.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right. Well, that was four stories down.

[Big J Okerson]

Where are the exact same but everybody has two more points. But maybe me

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

in last place with two points, Big J Okerson. In fourth place with four points, Mike Vecchion. In third place with five points, Julian McCullough. And tied for the lead with seven points each, Lewis J. Gomez and Karen Feehan.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a dog fight.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We are at the halfway point of the show. At this point we're gonna do quick plugs from everyone on the panel. Mike Vanilla, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Mike Vecchione]

I have a special on YouTube called Low Income White Nate Bargazi's channel. Please give it a view and please follow me. I somehow losing followers on Instagram.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because you keep posting. Mike.

[Mike Vecchione]

I don't know. I'm driving people. I told you to stop posting Omicmikev. Please give me a follow. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah,

[Karen Feehan]

Karen, check out my podcast. Only fans on YouTube and everywhere. Check it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, Julianne, I am on tour with Nate. So every stop on that tour I host it. And then also Greatest average American is a game show on ABC every Wednesday night. And I'll be not selling tickets at Fort Lauderdale Improv. So if you live in Florida, please go to the Improv on April 8th.

[Big J Okerson]

Hell yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I've sold out other places. It's not my market.

[Big J Okerson]

Big J. BigJayComedy.com for all my dates. Greatest Yapper live tour happening right now. Look for a city near you. Checking me out on the bonfire five days a week faction talk SiriusXM 103 with me and the great Robert Kelly and of course the Legion of Skanks. The flagship show over here, Gas Living.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Come see me on the road. Go to my website, l skanks.com the Rattle Me this tour presented by Yom coming to a city near you. Please subscribe to Gas Digital. If you love this show you should know that we do an uncensored and ad free version to the show. Plus a bunch of episodes that are no longer available on YouTube or anywhere else you get pre release. It comes out every Monday night. Once again, ad free uncentered. There's a great racist live chat and

[Big J Okerson]

is it's very racist.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Subscribe at Gas Digital. Use the promo code war and you save a couple bucks a month. It supports the show directly. Also come see story wars on the road. We're going to be out in Los Angeles doing the Netflix is a joke festival at the Comedy Store. We're going to be in Nashville at the national comedy festival. And May 21, we are going to be at the Comedy Mothership doing two shows on Thursday night, the 21st, which is going to be a ton of fun. So get those tickets early because those shows will sell out. Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, we have reached the second half of our show, our final four stories. Mike, me and you are in second to last. In last place.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Looks like we're pretty far behind. But you don't have to worry. This whole thing shifts in one round very simply. Because here at Story awards for the final four stories. Karen, why don't you tell them it's double points?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh my God. That's so many more points, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, well, before, if you fooled somebody, you got one point. If you guessed the correct person, you got two points. But now those both jump up to

[Lewis J. Gomez]

D. I mean, that's. Oh, my God.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I have a question. Do you think this guy sees quadruple points?

[Big J Okerson]

For sure. We're all in the 30s.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

His points, by the way. Jay, I love your glasses. You look like one of the dudes that trusted black women in NASA. I did, I did.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't care about the color of your skin. Can you do math with that big old booty?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no, they didn't.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

they didn't know they had big booties back then. Oh, yeah, that was later.

[Big J Okerson]

They just called them Mhms.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Mhmm. Alex, story number five.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number five. I once fell victim to the sea bathers eruption.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What the does that mean?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is from one of Mike's meditations, I think.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this is a weird.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is actually a breathing practice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Is this part of the poem Jabberwocky?

[Big J Okerson]

I don't have anything to say. I don't know what this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't know what it means.

[Big J Okerson]

I once fell victim to the sea bathers eruption.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it does. Can we google that sound like. Yeah, it sounds like a porn search. Yeah, Sea bathers get a lifetime.

[Big J Okerson]

Anybody know what the sea bathers eruption is?

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, can we just get like a death?

[Luis J. Gomez]

A sea bather's eruption? Did Karen blow somebody on the beach?

[Big J Okerson]

What is this story? A homeless guy who takes a bath in the sea.

[Karen Feehan]

He was bathing in the sea and he erupted in my mouth. Is that what you heard?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, that's what I was going for. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

You know what? I'm gonna write K. I'm gonna write K on my green, on my whiteboard Just. I'm gonna start.

[Mike Vecchione]

Say it again, Karen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Say it slower.

[Mike Vecchione]

Slow it down a little bit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look, no matter what, it's obvious that Lewis is well over Karen. I mean, he does not care at all anymore.

[Karen Feehan]

No, no, no.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, do we have any more context? I mean, I know you're supposed to just read the story, but do you understand what the fuck? You chose the story to be in the thing, didn't you?

[Karen Feehan]

Or.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, it's all random.

[Big J Okerson]

It's random.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

It is random. G. Mike and I did look up sea bathers eruption. It appears that it's a skin condition of some kind.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's gluis.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Puerto Rican. Oh, I see. He's brown.

[Karen Feehan]

It would be because he. This something would happen to you and you'd be like, oh, you'd, like, brag about it. I got the sea breathers.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Doesn't feel good, does it?

[Big J Okerson]

But.

[Mike Vecchione]

But Lewis doesn't talk that way. I once fell victim. He doesn't talk that way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think he. He knows the word.

[Karen Feehan]

Wait, he is. He's an auteur now. He's an.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is in perfect iambic pentame.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. This is amazing.

[Big J Okerson]

This is ve. This is Vecchion.

[Karen Feehan]

It's pretty.

[Big J Okerson]

In Aruba with your old skin falling victim to some kind of crazy old skin thing.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, this is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Mike's language. Yeah, it's giving, like, Mike language.

[Karen Feehan]

Ernest Hemingway.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, because he's, like, a little bit of a poet.

[Big J Okerson]

I know this means it could be

[Luis J. Gomez]

Julian, too, but I think it could be. It's Julian or Mike for sure.

[Karen Feehan]

Two Rs, Mike.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Mike has the face of an informant and the heart of a poet.

[Karen Feehan]

That makes me think it's Mike.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like that's a Mike panic.

[Karen Feehan]

It's not me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Could be Julian.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be Julian.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, maybe. I'm getting really good at this.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Julian wording, too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I would say something like that.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm going Vecchion spelled correctly.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number five belongs to Karen.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What the.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. Thank you so much.

[Big J Okerson]

Wait a minute.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It means liver spots.

[Karen Feehan]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Huh?

[Karen Feehan]

In the Caribbean, they're. Okay, so it's little. What are they? Jellyfish larvae. So, like the eggs themselves, but they're also still, like, venomous, so they get trapped. I was swimming with sea turtles. It was a bachelorette party.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She was trying to suffocate them.

[Karen Feehan]

You're my best friend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She's like, I have buckets.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Get in the bucket, turtle.

[Karen Feehan]

I tried to Bring them on the plane home. No. So they get in your bikini and stuff, and they, like, sting you. It's like sea lice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, man.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, it's gross, but you just, like, wash off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You get this from having sex with

[Karen Feehan]

a jellyfish, kind of. It's like you think the ocean is like one big lubed up.

[Big J Okerson]

It's immediately solved.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, when it's happening, it feels like little tiny electric pricks.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. We all got it, but me and, like, these 10 other chicks we got out were like, ah, it was like a bukkake little.

[Big J Okerson]

I was gonna say in your bikini. So it's like on your coochie and ass and.

[Karen Feehan]

Oh, yeah, sure is. Sure is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are there any other parts in the bikini you want to talk about?

[Big J Okerson]

I think.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you get them all?

[Big J Okerson]

You. You went hunt? Slit your.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you didn't mention her taint.

[Big J Okerson]

Your tight areola.

[Mike Vecchione]

Your.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your delicious. For Gooch Canyon.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. Your fart factory.

[Karen Feehan]

I hate Lewis is so mad. You.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I hate that story so much. This story stinks. I hate it. It's weird. Nobody knows what it meant. You pulled way ahead of me.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. That's why I'm.

[Karen Feehan]

Is that the real reason in the last thing you said?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. Pulled way ahead of you, just like in real life.

[Karen Feehan]

Doesn't feel good, does it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Just like it doesn't feel good. Alex, we're. I mean, Jesus Christ, nobody can even catch up to her at this point. Where our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In last place, with two points, Big J Okerson. In fourth place with five points, Julian McCullough.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, man, that's so many points to be in fourth place. Thank you, everyone.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In third place, with seven points, Lis J. Gomez. In second place, with eight points, Mike Vecchio.

[Mike Vecchione]

Wow.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

And in the lead with 13 points, Karen Feehan.

[Karen Feehan]

I'd like to thank. Double points.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'd like to thank your double points. It's cold in here. All right, story warriors, let's thank Into Cloud for supporting the show. 420 is on the horizon. Whatever you're looking for, whether it's flour, gummies, vapes, pre rolls, or edibles, however

[Big J Okerson]

you celebrate Hitler's birthday or the mass murder of Columbine.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, look, sometimes a lot of these things make you sad. If you take a little gummy, you're not even thinking about it.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that's true.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. To get you through life's woes. If the Cloud products are federally legally eagle THC, everything is sold, is DEA certified and lab tested. If you're 21 or older and a new customer. We got a pretty cool deal for you, you pothead. Go to in the cloud. I N D A C L o u d.indecloud.co.

[Luis J. Gomez]

pay attention

[Big J Okerson]

right now, you boob.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He saw. He was. He stopped paying attention for a second.

[Big J Okerson]

It's CEO. Wake up. It's cool. Not dot com. Into cloud co. Are you listening?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No. His head's into clouds.

[Big J Okerson]

Me over here. Into cloud co. By the way, the ad read does have it listed seven different times, so. You keep saying it, guys. Into cloud co. You already thought it was calm. Again, into cloud code wars with a Z for 40% off all month long, shipped discreetly to your doors. It's great. It's a great deal.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And there's free shipping on orders over $50, which is great. And $30 in free gifts on qualifying orders. And yeah, just go to indiclab co. Use that. What was the promo code?

[Big J Okerson]

Can't say it. You can't say that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Anything.

[Big J Okerson]

Just not to say it. You rather.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Cloud co.

[Big J Okerson]

In the cloud. Stock. In the cloud. In the cloud co.

[Luis J. Gomez]

In the cloud. In cloud co dot co. In the cloud co.

[Big J Okerson]

In the cloud co. What is the promo code?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Promo code. Wars for 40% off. That's a big deal.

[Big J Okerson]

In the cloud co.

[Luis J. Gomez]

In the cloud co.

[Big J Okerson]

In the cloud co. All right, story

[Luis J. Gomez]

warriors, let's take a quick moment and thank Bonnie Brain Coffee for supporting the show. Jay, you're not a coffee drinker, but we have our creamer coming out very soon, which I'm very excited for you to try.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's probably going to take the sting away from jamming the coffee raw up my ass.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, no, we figured out last week was that you were doing the packets and not the granules.

[Big J Okerson]

I've changed that this week. I'll tell you something. All my PRs are now. Is that a coincidence? I don't know. Because again, we know that I am the science on this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think I got to be honest with you. Can you look it up? Would Tongkat Ali be absorbed into your analyzing? Just please look it up really quick. Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

Gemini is going to say, I'm not listening to some fucking.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex is saying yes right now.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not going to let some computer made by the Japs tell me what the fuck's going on.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I got to feel like coffee in the asshole would probably be a decent,

[Big J Okerson]

like, coffee dancer is a thing.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No.

[Big J Okerson]

100% enema coffee enemas. People do it all.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Really?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Why do they do a coffee Enema

[Big J Okerson]

cleans out your system. It's good for your colon, apparently.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Now what if you put some Tonka, Ali and lion's man.

[Big J Okerson]

Look at me. I'm taller, I'm stronger, I'm faster, I'm

[Luis J. Gomez]

a better version of me. Don't shove it in your ass, guys. Drink it hot, cold. Put it in your protein, which me and Ham. Check out the spit today.

[Big J Okerson]

Check out the spit kick. Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, that was good. That was stronger than your old spin kick, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was barely a spin before.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Bodybraincoffee.com support your testosterone and mental clarity naturally. 5 ingredients go to bodybraincoffee.com use the promo code WAR20. WAR20.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like I could punch a

[Luis J. Gomez]

horse for 20 off your order. If you subscribe, you're going to get 20 off where you get it every single month you get 20 off free shipping. And we're letting you try the creamer before anybody else can even purchase it and pre order. So the creamer shipping very soon just for the people that are subscribed. There's a lot of new subscribers, so thank you guys very much. Bodybraincoffee.com use that promo code WAR20 for 20% off and subscribe to receive it monthly. All right, where were we? Alex, give us story number six.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number six. Sometimes I listen to John Cougar Mellencamp's song Scarecrow and I pretend I'm a farmer who's fighting for the land.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, this is 100 million percent Mike Vecchione.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is 100 million percent Big J. Okas, that's Big J. This sounds like that is Big J.

[Mike Vecchione]

That's how I got the song on my ipod.

[Big J Okerson]

It's true.

[Karen Feehan]

Really?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Also, Big J doesn't like nature, so this is the closest he can get to nature.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, what nature thing do you

[Big J Okerson]

think you do that I don't?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I found a dinosaur bone

[Big J Okerson]

napkin folded into a triangle.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I've hiked, I've camped, I swim.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One thing Jay and I have.

[Big J Okerson]

Fucking Julian, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One thing Jay and I have is a common love for 80s music and references. This is right out of. This is right out of Big J. I mean, I could hear you saying this on stage as a. As a tag on something boring.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Can I tell you the only problem with that is that Jay knows how to play the game enough to not start referencing 80 songs.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really? Because he has two points.

[Mike Vecchione]

Oh, my God, Jay. Don't take that, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I don't have a comeback for that.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yes, you do. Jay, you got your falling down glasses on.

[Big J Okerson]

Get them. I'm ready to take. Take back this town.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

For the working man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Those glasses have been in so many movies.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, totally.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is Big J Or Julian. I feel like Julian showed us.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't. Don't. Don't shake off Vecchion. Who also knows the Scarecrow?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't. I've never even heard this song.

[Karen Feehan]

Can you.

[Mike Vecchione]

What?

[Karen Feehan]

Can somebody.

[Big J Okerson]

Scarecrow. Blood on the plow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm just. Sorry. They're just memories for you now. Rain on the Scarecrow. Blood on the pl. Rain on the Scarecrow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Big J Okerson]

Blood on the Ply.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Never heard of it.

[Karen Feehan]

I'm dying.

[Big J Okerson]

You don't give a fuck about the country. This guy's trying to save the country through farming and chicken raising. Yeah. This story is perfect. I wish it was me. It's definitely Julian or Mike.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's Julian or Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's Mike.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think my only. All right. The reason I think it's Jay is because he hates nature. Not the reason I think it's Julian is.

[Big J Okerson]

What do you do? And what makes you so naturey all of a sudden?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I've gone cliff diving, hiking, camping.

[Big J Okerson]

I. I've done all these things.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You've done none of this.

[Big J Okerson]

Dived. You're right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You've never.

[Big J Okerson]

I've done one thing less than you and. And you're a big nature guy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I didn't say I'm a big nature guy. I said you hate nature.

[Big J Okerson]

I spear fished.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't do any of these. These things.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I've gone fishing a lot, actually.

[Big J Okerson]

You clamped. And Bobby Kelly taught you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's not true.

[Big J Okerson]

You have no father. You are not into nature. We none of us grow up with fathers. Stop acting like you Bear Grylls.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're. You're hearing. You're hearing this the wrong way. I'm not saying that I am a nature like guy. I'm saying you are not a nature like guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Neither are you. Okay, let's keep pointing it out to each other. Hey, everyone. It's not a nature story. It's probably Lewis. Yeah, he hates nature.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's not me. Go ahead. Put the vote for me. I don't care.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't think it's you because you don't know music or sports or dude stuff. Oh, you're. You don't understand farming. You shouldn't be able to get this book. You never take care of your chickens properly. Jay.

[Karen Feehan]

He won't. Lewis would like you Would like Of Mice and Men. A chicken really fast. I think you shouldn't have little animals.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You guys also both look like you were raised in a raccoon carnival, so I.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, it's Julian or Jay. Jay's hot right now because he's only got two points. He's furious.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. By the way, don't point it out. He gets really upset.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's not happy right now. Jay hates losing.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, well, Louis, good. Tomorrow you can read your book. When you win in nature. How much you love nature. Go take to a top of a mountain.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Never said I love nature, Jay. I'm saying you don't love nature.

[Big J Okerson]

You hate nature.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's not true.

[Big J Okerson]

Anti nature. You want to live in a bunker?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay hates being called out on his lack of nature likeness.

[Big J Okerson]

You hate nature, dude. You think it's disgusting to be outside.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Guys, stop fighting before you both fall victim to sea bather's eruption.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No. Oh, it's Big J. Or it's Julian. Nobody's voting Julian right now. Julian could pull ahead. Hard of a 10.

[Big J Okerson]

Really could be Julian. I, I thought Mike right away, but then Mike.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Mike's. Mike's. When he fought that you said it was him sounded very false to me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Who'd you put, Jay? Mike.

[Karen Feehan]

You gotta split it up a little.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna go with you. I'm going with Julian. Dude, I, I, I, I just don't think that Jay's putting a reference to a song that's so obviously him. But he hates nature.

[Big J Okerson]

But he hates so you are so grossed out by n. Well, Lewis, I

[Lewis J. Gomez]

hate to b. I hate to ruin I hate John Cougar Mellon camp. So it ain't me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's Big J. You and your lack of nature knowledge.

[Big J Okerson]

You hate nature, dude, because you're so fat and your dick's a little Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You should go cliff diving and just ruin Lewis's lead on you.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna cliff dive, and now we're equal on nature.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's not true. You would never cliff dive. You don't have the nature balls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just call them. Just call him from midair and be like, guess what I'm doing, Lou.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, guess whose nature hard right now.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Guess what I'm doing. Destroying my phone. Alex. All of her answers are in it. Was Big J.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number six belongs to Mike Ver.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I knew it. I knew it. Oh, man. Oh, that feels good.

[Big J Okerson]

I know Mike wants to defend his land.

[Mike Vecchione]

You tell me you listen to that song and you don't feel feel like a farmer who's back of course you do. You feel like a farmer whose back is against the wall. How could you not like John Cougar Mellow.

[Big J Okerson]

The back is coming for his goddamn farm. Now you gotta let him farm or

[Luis J. Gomez]

he can't make go after it. I just realized that Mike hates nature. This whole panel hates nature.

[Big J Okerson]

He loves farming.

[Karen Feehan]

I love nature. I let it erupt in me. I knew as Mike cuz when Jay was singing, he lit up like he was at a concert. Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

God, I love that song though.

[Big J Okerson]

I love that blood on the p.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, you said Mike too?

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you're going to have like a billion points. This isn't even fun.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, is there any more to this? Is there any more to this story, Mike?

[Mike Vecchione]

Just when I work out, I listen to it and sometimes

[Big J Okerson]

I just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You work out to this song and you still get muscles.

[Mike Vecchione]

I work out to this song and I'm like, God, we got to help these farmers.

[Big J Okerson]

I gotta do something.

[Mike Vecchione]

I gotta do something.

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta get involved, dude.

[Mike Vecchione]

It's emotional. It's an emotional song, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

You gotta perform at Live Aid this year. Farm Aid.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, six stories down. This is getting so far away from real nature stories.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, where our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In last place with six points, Big J Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

That's winning in some countries.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In fourth place with seven points, Lis J. Gomez. In third place with nine points, Julian McCullough.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Back in third place. Yeah.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In second place with ten points, Mike Vecchione.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, Mike. Cougar Vecchione.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

And in the lead with 17 points, Karen Feehan.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys, I assure you, nothing is over. Anybody on this panel can still take home the Head Stater's Natural Chicken Keeping Handbook which presents. Chicken keeping is part of a broader homesteading lifestyle. Along with daily care tips, the book explains how chickens fit into a sustainable system by providing eggs, helping control insects and contributing to soil health. The result is a clear guide for anyone interested in raising chickens in a simple and natural. Our penultimate story.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We have two more point. Two more stories, guys. You guys having a good time?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

At this point, genuinely anybody's game still. We're all still in it. Alex. Story number seven.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number seven. I went for a walk in some woods and got followed by middle aged dudes. I freaked out and ran home. Someone told me they were gay woods and now I never know which woods are gay and which are regular.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I feel like Julian's gonna get attention in both. Julian's gonna do well in the gay and straight woods.

[Karen Feehan]

No, I think as kids either Julian or Mike Would be, you know, now some good bait for some middle aged age dudes. I think both of you guys for sure.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But Mike are regular woods. Straight woods or just woods that don't have any stuff happening.

[Big J Okerson]

What I'm saying is Mike has a shaved clean mouth. Perfect for face. And if you saw him in the woods and you saw that clean shave, you think he's going to get his face in the woods.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But here's the thing. I've known Mike for the better part of 20 years and Mike has always been man, middle aged.

[Big J Okerson]

So he wouldn't have 50 for 20 years.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. He would ever describe other men as being middle aged. They're just dudes to him.

[Mike Vecchione]

Who writes this way. I wanna.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's really what the mics. First headshot still looks older than he does today.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is. It's giving Big J and Julian vibes

[Big J Okerson]

if you're trying to run out. Why would I be walking in the woods? I hate nature.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You just said you. Oh

[Big J Okerson]

the woods that I grew up.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This girl's sick of our. She's like, you guys are fighting too much. I'm gone.

[Big J Okerson]

The. The woods I grew up by were not big enough to be like a cruising ground, you know. I mean it was like where kids went to drink. But it was like right off the streets, you know. I mean it was like. Yeah, this wasn't like deep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That sounds like somebody who call said that about their. Their gay woods a lot. Like they're not. They're not gay woods. I mean they're like barely big enough to get drinks in.

[Big J Okerson]

There's like gays there. But we all got to use the woods.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not like the first thing the woods do.

[Big J Okerson]

I wouldn't even know what gay woods were. I didn't walk around in woods in New York.

[Mike Vecchione]

No. But I freaked out and ran. That's not Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Mike Vecchione]

That is not running.

[Big J Okerson]

No nature and running. I'm a fat piece of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I can. I could see this being Louis. I can see this being Lewis because he was already. He already found dinosaur tooth. So he's out there. He's out there in them woods.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I was like, hey boys, you want to put this in your ass?

[Big J Okerson]

Always looking for that next tooth. And if I chug a couple of cocks along the way, so be it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's the price for archaeology.

[Big J Okerson]

Sometimes you gotta crack a few eggs, you know?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah. I mean I'm getting Julian vibes for sure. Sure. Julian's a hot dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. Yeah. If I was going to a guy in gay woods on this panel, Julian's my guy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you think.

[Big J Okerson]

Close second. Close second is you, Mike. Don't think I'm not looking at you down there.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Do you think also Julian ran home after he shot that bird? Lots of his stories involve running in nature.

[Big J Okerson]

Although this time he's not crying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, but do dudes that go to the woods to do stuff care about how good looking you are or are they just like.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I'm saying. Dude, you're a dime. They start following you. This. This smack.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's Lewis.

[Karen Feehan]

Nobody. Nobody thinks it's me, huh?

[Big J Okerson]

No. I don't know. Why would they be chasing you out like, hey, you're ruining it. We're trying to have big sex here. Beat it, stank puss.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hey, all these.

[Big J Okerson]

Nobody wants your holes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All these are for us. Get out of here.

[Karen Feehan]

That. That's not how it went down,

[Big J Okerson]

okay?

[Luis J. Gomez]

He put every vowel. Every vowel is in my name.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh. L, E, I, O, U, and sometimes ys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're saying Mike Vecchione. Oh, Karen's gonna lose her lead here. This is Julian for sure. Is that what you wrote, Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

I wrote Julian. Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. This is a Julian story. Story if I've ever seen one.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I didn't know you had such beautiful handwriting.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you. Yeah, I didn't know Lewis was a copier.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You have a lot of time to learn how to have knights penmanship when you're not in nature.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. Yeah. Dude, you're such a copier. It's so gross. Damn, dude. Copier. Alex, we're all in.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number seven belongs to Julian, obviously.

[Big J Okerson]

Who else here is getting chased through gay stuff?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This was at Rutgers, actually, and it was. Yeah. And so I was on the Livingston campus, which does have woods, and I was just like, you're just bored when you're 19 and you can't get. You know, you can't, like, go to bars or anything. So I just, like, got high and went for a walk in the woods. And then it got weird in there, dude. It was like. It wasn't just like a couple. There was like. Then they were all spread out. It was like a horror movie. And they were all looking at me and not really walking directly at me, but not getting further away. And I was like.

[Big J Okerson]

They were triangulating you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. It was so weird.

[Mike Vecchione]

Dude, that's called wrestling practice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's like when they want to chase you, but you but don't want you to run. You know what I mean? Like, it was weird. And So I just like. I like walking backwards for a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was like a week later that I mentioned it. I didn't even talk. Talk to anybody about it. I was just like, that was weird. And then I brought it up to somebody and I go, hey, you know what's weird? And I went in those woods one time and all these dudes chased me. They go, yeah, that's the gay woods. Like, everybody knew you went to the fucking gay woods. So I feel bad. Those guys were like, why is he leaving? Like, this is.

[Mike Vecchione]

Did you at least skip out?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I turned out to just be like, Memorial Park.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was just like a cocktease in the woods that I didn't even know. I just feel bad.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. Just wagging your sweet ass.

[Mike Vecchione]

You were asking for it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're always asking for it.

[Big J Okerson]

You were their playground.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Those guys all have a story about the one time they almost scored the hottest guy in the woods.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God. I thought he was an angel. Because he vanished. I never saw him again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, he was wearing suspenders with no

[Big J Okerson]

shirt, crying from a bird murder.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Julian was dressed as a biker.

[Big J Okerson]

Why are you guys being so weird?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Seven stories down. See, I'm just wearing my construction hat. Seven stories down. Alex, where are our points at?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In Last place with 10 points, Big J Oger Singh. Tied for third place with 11 points each, Luis J. Gomez and Julian McCullough.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We're gonna sp.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Split that chicken book Lewis.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In second place with 14 points, Mike Vecchione. And in the lead with 17 points, Karen Feehan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, it's close.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Anybody? It's still anybody's game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Genuinely anybody's war.

[Big J Okerson]

Genuine anybody's game. Out. Or should you say first this crowd. You guys ready for your final story? Our final story is here, Alex. Story number eight.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number eight. I was once stung on the face by a jellyfish. The people I was with refused to pee on my face.

[Big J Okerson]

I wanna think this is Karen again, but I'd pee on your.

[Karen Feehan]

It feels like. It feels like Lewis took a jellyfish to the beach.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Pee on me, girls.

[Karen Feehan]

You have to.

[Big J Okerson]

Ladies. Hey, girls. I drove to the beach. Pee on my face. I need you now more than ever.

[Karen Feehan]

On the face.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's not a real thing, by the way.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah, it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're not supposed to. No. You're not supposed to pee on a jellyfish thing.

[Karen Feehan]

Oh, my God. I've been tricked so many times.

[Big J Okerson]

Shut up, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I swear to God.

[Big J Okerson]

Shut up. Dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Dude, that's like. That's like an old Wives tale. It does nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it does something.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It does.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, it makes you come.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Take a hot piss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right. So the people they're with are obviously upstanding people. So it could be Mike. It's not going to be Jay or Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

No. Anybody I know would piss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Would definitely pee on your face.

[Big J Okerson]

My mom, my step.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because Jewish moms.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? Jewish moms.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jewish moms don't pee on your face.

[Big J Okerson]

Healthy and wealthy. That's what they say.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I would try to convince him to. On my face.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And they go, that doesn't work, Louis. You know, I don't care.

[Big J Okerson]

Diegos. That doesn't work. It's an old wives tale. I'll find out later. Yeah. Placebo effect on my face.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I will say Karen did have a story about getting stung by jellyfish babies.

[Big J Okerson]

Maybe all her nature takes place in the water, right?

[Karen Feehan]

Could be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And also, also, if you're in a bachelorette party, no women are going to pee on each other's faces. Like that's not going to happen.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a girls trip. Yeah. A lot of.

[Karen Feehan]

Part of the ritual.

[Big J Okerson]

I do see a lot of girls are not going to want to squat over and like take a piss on your face.

[Karen Feehan]

It's so hard to aim too. It's like. It's like I'd get it in like.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's just gonna go down your legs.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. It's hard to. It's hard.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis wouldn't beg everybody to pee on his face if there was. If this was just chicks. But that's not.

[Karen Feehan]

I was once stung on the face by a jellyfish.

[Big J Okerson]

Yep. Good slow read, Karen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it's.

[Mike Vecchione]

This is not me.

[Karen Feehan]

No, I think it's Karen who's been around the most jellyfish.

[Big J Okerson]

You so far.

[Karen Feehan]

Wait, you know, we.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Lou. I guess Lewis also.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis has been a. I've been around tropical vacations.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I do go on tropical vacations.

[Big J Okerson]

We would have heard about the time his face got stung and everyone he brought didn't piss on his face.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You think on a gas digital vacation trip that he was like, somebody pissed on my face. They wouldn't be aligned.

[Mike Vecchione]

It would have been live streamed.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. It could have happened in Jamaica. And it's like my slaves won't even pee on me.

[Big J Okerson]

Great. My slaves. Why do I have slaves if not the picture?

[Karen Feehan]

Stupid slaves.

[Mike Vecchione]

Yeah, Louis, we would have definitely heard about it.

[Karen Feehan]

There's way more jellyfish like in the Caribbean and stuff. There are some on the east coast sometimes like after a hurricane. And they used to Wash up on shore. And we would take them. A lot of times, they would look like breast implants. Does anybody know what I'm talking about?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. And we would.

[Luis J. Gomez]

If you touch them, they don't feel like jelly. They feel like plastic.

[Karen Feehan]

Yeah. Like silicone, almost. And we would throw them against cement walls and watch them, like, collapse.

[Big J Okerson]

What fun. Snapple fact. Karen.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen knows a lot. Karen knows a lot about jellyfishes.

[Karen Feehan]

You guys didn't. Nobody. Nobody did that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Karen's gonna get no points here.

[Karen Feehan]

What do you mean I'm gonna get no points?

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're gonna get no points because it's you.

[Karen Feehan]

It's not me. You think I submitted two jellyfish stories.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it's the perfect one was light.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's the perfect misdirection.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's not me. Karen, you're wasting your vote.

[Karen Feehan]

All right. I guess I'm wasting my vote. I guess.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, let her waste her vote, Louis.

[Karen Feehan]

Why'd you just wink at Big J, you son of a bitch?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Because you just lost.

[Karen Feehan]

Damn it. I want to win, though. Can I redo it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, it's too late.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, Alex,

[Luis J. Gomez]

somebody just yelled. The frogs wanted to live, too.

[Karen Feehan]

Ah,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Guys, moment of silence for the frogs, if you wouldn't mind.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They were toads.

[Big J Okerson]

They were toads, Right, Alex?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Who got stung on the face by a jellyfish?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

Story number eight belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Damn it.

[Mike Vecchione]

How did we not hear about that? Fuck it.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait a second.

[Mike Vecchione]

Steal it for Karen.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait a second, please. My other story was about getting stung in the face by a jellyfish, and I poured a cup of my own pee on my face.

[Mike Vecchione]

Whoa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So I thought they just edited it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, and I thought you thought this was your story. That's hilarious.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Or I would have said you, cuz obviously it was you.

[Karen Feehan]

I tried to tell you guys. It was Louis.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, well, yeah, so I was in Italy with the family, and we were staying in Lido beach, right off of Venice. And, yeah, I was just swimming, and then I saw the giant jellyfish. I was like, oh, look at that, and went. Stung. My face hurt like hell. And then I jokingly asked everyone in my family if they pee on my face. They all refused, but I was just joking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You were joking if they're joking? Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, guys, don't pee on my face. That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm just joking. It doesn't even work.

[Big J Okerson]

This story sucks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Why?

[Big J Okerson]

You jokingly asked him to pee on your face?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, so mine was. I really got stung. All over my body. Jersey shore. And on my face and all the way down my body. But I was. Wasn't supposed to be in the ocean by myself, so I was gonna get in trouble. So I couldn't even. I was a kid, but then a

[Luis J. Gomez]

bunch of gay guys came out of the woods and was like, we'll pee on your face.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no, no. Why? These guys are everywhere.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I heard the pee thing and I'm like 10 years old and I'm like, I'm not gonna ask my anybody. I'm not supposed to be so swimming.

[Big J Okerson]

Piss on my face.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So I went in the bathroom and I peed into a glass and I poured it on myself and it didn't do anything. I'm like, I just poured pee on myself for nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

Julian.

[Mike Vecchione]

Julian ran out of the gay woods into the gay sea.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy can't escape it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why is everything gay everywhere?

[Big J Okerson]

God, dude, people are insatiable for your ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It can't be me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at after eight stories?

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In last place with 10 points, Big Jay Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

Was I here?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jay, you're gonna keep raising those chickens wrong.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Alex (Producer/Story Reader)]

In fourth place with 11 points, Julian McCullough. In third place with 14 points, Mike Vecchio. Second place, scored 17 points. And your winner tonight with 21 points, Karen Feehan.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I thought we tied. I forgot that you got points for voting for. I thought we were tied. I'm so pissed.

[Big J Okerson]

Karen Feehan. Now in two and three. Two and three.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Look at that.

[Karen Feehan]

Double. Double points. Double points. Double points. Yay. Oh, my God. And now I get my chicken book. I don't even have to order it.

[Big J Okerson]

We might have to figure out what to do. You may be our first repeat guest story warrior.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, that's not true. Sarah Tolosh and Bobby, your thing ain't shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Apologies, Karen. Thank you so much. What an amazing game she played. Karen also holds another record on the show. Only person to win a show without having one story read from her story. So, yeah, Karen's up there. She's going in the hall of fame, if there is one. How about a big round of applause for everybody on our panel tonight? Mike Vecchione, Julian McCoy, your story warrior tonight, Karen Feehan. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us here at New York Comedy Club for story wars. I'm big J Okerson.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm Luis Shay Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Until next time, everybody. Peace.

[VRBO Announcer]

With VRBoCare. Help is always ready before, during, and after your stay. We've planned for the plot twists so support is always available because a great trip starts with peace of mind. Day or night. VRBoCare is here 247 to help make every part of your stay seamless. If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home, we're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support. And hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.