095. Steve Rannazzisi, Bonnie McFarlane, Colum Tyrrell | Hate

Summary

Story Warz Podcast Summary

Episode 095 – Hate
Date: May 29, 2026
Host: GaS Digital Network (Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez)
Guests: Steve Rannazzisi, Bonnie McFarlane, Colum Tyrrell
Venue: The Stand Comedy Club, NYC (recorded live at Dojo of Comedy, NJ)

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Episode Overview

This raucous live episode of Story Warz dives headfirst into the gameshow’s favorite territory: comics flinging stories of embarrassment, outrage, and bitter payback on the theme of "Hate." The panel—comedians Steve Rannazzisi, Bonnie McFarlane, and Colum Tyrrell—face off against hosts Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez by sharing (and bluffing about) stories of hate-driven actions from their lives. As always, the mayhem is underscored by ruthless banter, unfiltered honesty, and darkly hilarious commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Episode Flow

Introduction & Panel Hellos (01:52–07:00)

• Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez welcome the sold-out crowd ("Back in dirty Jersey!") and hype the structure of Story Warz:
  • Each panelist submits stories on the subject of the night—tonight's: hate.
  • The panel must guess whose story is being read while bluffing/claiming/dissembling.
  • Points are awarded both for correctly identifying storytellers and for deceiving others.
• Panelist Quips:
  • Bonnie McFarlane: “I'm actually Jim Carrey.” (05:23)
  • Steve Rannazzisi: “This is gonna be my Jordan flu game.” (06:43)

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Game Explanation & Stakes (07:00–10:06)

• Prizes: This week's winner gets Tomorrow is Yesterday: Life, Death, and the Pursuit of Peace in Israel and Palestine.
• The hosts riff on the charged political climate—with tongue-in-cheek references to conflict and the episode's theme "hate."

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The Stories – Highlights by Round

1. Train Argument Showdown

(10:43–20:38)

• Story: Furious at a woman blasting music on a train, narrator starts screaming until bystanders intervene.
• Guessing chaos: The panel and hosts dissect the likelihood that each would scream at a stranger (and whether Canadian trains even exist).
• Reveal: It was Colum Tyrell.
• Colum's confession: Once played Enya to drown out a noisy fellow passenger:

  “I had my phone with my music right beside her face like that, as loud as I could, going, I'll do this all day.” (20:10)

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2. The First Smell of Vagina

(21:12–29:34)

• Story: The narrator hated (but pretended to love) the first time they smelled vagina.
• Panel shenanigans: Long riffs about the correct term—pussy, cooter, coos—and the realities of 12-year-old hygiene.
• Reveal: It was Luis J. Gomez, recounting sixth grade days being peer-pressured to "smell my finger."
• Luis:

  "Here's the problem with 12 year old girls. They don't know how to clean their yet. And this is how I know that..." (29:29)

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3. Pissing in the Roommate's Drawer

(35:00–41:30)

• Story: To avenge a "cunt" roommate, narrator pisses in their drawer weekly; the roommate never suspects the right person.
• Confession: Steve Rannazzisi did it in his college days, taking pride in the ruin of his upstate NY roommate's underwear drawer.

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4. Finding a Klan Outfit During a Move

(42:59–51:50)

• Story: A friend found a Klan outfit in the closet while visiting someone’s home.
• Reveal: It's Colum again, finding it while working a moving job in the US.
• Colum:

  “In the closet was like, this old clan outfit, this old white clan outfit. Didn't look like a costume. Looked like a legit, proper piece.” (50:21)

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5. Lying About a Dead Grandpa to Get Out of a Gig

(58:45–63:50) — Double Points Begin

• Story: Used excuse "my grandpa just died" to avoid a hated repeat gig. Grandpa, in truth, passed years earlier.
• Reveal: Big Jay Okerson, sheepishly recounting his "people-pleaser" ways.
• Jay:

  “There was this amount of sympathy outpouring during those three days I was on the boat was nut. And I like, terrible.” (63:50)

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6. Roommate Terrorized by a Flasher

(69:15–76:13)

• Story: To drive out a hated roommate, narrator enlists a friend to stand in front of her window in a mask and pull out his junk.
• Surprise Reveal: Bonnie McFarlane orchestrated the sexual harassment as practical joke payback.
• Bonnie:

  “She would get so mad. Yeah. It's crazy.” (75:31)

• Panel’s Shock: Jay: “And then you had a guy jerk off in front of her.” (75:34)

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7. Taunting the “Ugly Girl” with Hall & Oates

(78:29–86:32)

• Story: In high school, the panelist bullied a local girl for being "really ugly" by serenading her with “Maneater" by Hall & Oates.
• Reveal: Luis J. Gomez, who confesses to going along with group cruelty as a kid:

  “When I say ugly...so unfortunate looking. I've never, to this day, I've never seen an uglier human being in my entire life.” (85:44)

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8. Driving at Protesters to Get Home

(88:55–97:09)

• Story: Annoyed at a protest blocking a tunnel, narrator “zig-zags” his car at them to get through.
• Reveal: Steve Rannazzisi. Cops were present—but “they hated the protesters” so let him pass, and the roommate moved away in shock.
• Steve:

  “If I stop, they're going to come across, it's a whole and I'm fucked. So I go, this is my only chance. And I went right around them.” (97:06)

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Scoreboard & Finale

• Lead changes: Bonnie surges ahead with a major double-point story late in the game.
• Final Scores:
  • Winner: Bonnie McFarlane (16 pts)
  • 2nd: Luis J. Gomez (14)
  • 3rd: Steve Rannazzisi (13)
  • 4th: Big Jay Okerson (10)
  • Last: Colum Tyrrell (6)
• Prize: Bonnie wins the book Tomorrow is Yesterday. She delivers a wry winner’s speech:

  “When I came here tonight, I was like, ooh, hate, yuck. But now I'm like, I love it. Thank you, guys.” (98:23)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Big Jay Okerson (on conflict topic):

  “Unrelated [to the prize book]. Totally circumstantial.” (09:49)

• Bonnie (on winning):

  “I thought junk was going to give me away, but no, I guess that's you.” (73:46)

• Luis (reflecting on bullying):

  “I wish I could find her today because I want to see what type of sort of rhinoceros she turned into.” (85:44)

• Steve (on protest story):

  “They let me zigzag around them and the protesters 100% thought I was going to stop. But I went so fast right around them...” (97:06)

• Colum (on move jobs in America):

  “I found some clan pants.”

• Bonnie (after practical joke):

  “Now I’m starting to see how bad this story is.”

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Standout Segment Timestamps

• Game Setup & Rules: 07:00–10:06
• Story 1 (“Train Argument”): 10:43–20:38
• Story 2 (“Vagina Smell”): 21:12–29:34
• Story 3 (“Pissing in a Drawer”): 35:00–41:30
• Story 4 (“Klan Outfit Found”): 42:59–51:50
• Double Points Begin: 56:14
• Story 5 (“Dead Grandpa Excuse”): 58:45–63:50
• Story 6 (“Masked Flasher”): 69:15–76:13
• Story 7 (“Maneater Bullying”): 78:29–86:32
• Story 8 (“Driving at Protesters”): 88:55–97:09
• Winner Announcement: 97:21–98:23

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Episode Tone & Style

• Language: Unfiltered, raunchy, and relentless; mockery blended with camaraderie.
• Atmosphere: The crowd is lively but blue-collar tired, feeding off the hosts’ energy and the comics’ friendly brutality.
• Dynamic: The hosts steer the chaos, the panelists needle each other, and the audience is both a witness and a participant (especially when called upon to influence the game).

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Wrap-Up

Episode 095 delivers a hilarious, raw, and wickedly honest round of Story Warz focused on the theme of hate—shown in everything from petty revenge to childhood cruelty. Bonnie McFarlane’s win capped a night of genuine surprises as old wounds (and a Klan outfit) came out of the closet. The performers’ storytelling, quick insult exchanges, and shared game strategies craft one of the show’s most engaging episodes, a must-listen for fans of no-holds-barred comedy.

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Listen to the whole episode for stories in full, wild panelist banter, and the kind of comedy you can't say on basic cable.

Transcript

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, story warriors, before we start the show, you should know that me and Big J will be on the road. Come see me June 5th in Springfield, Missouri. June 6th in Tulsa, Oklahoma. June 7th in Oklahoma City. Then I'm off to Rosemont, Illinois, Chicago, Illinois, La Jolla, California and many more. Story wars is hitting the road as well. Thursday, August 6th, we'll be at Comics at Mohegan Sun. You can get tickets for all those shows and more at LewisOfSkanks.com go to

[Big J Okerson]

BigJ Comedy.com for tickets to all my day's greatest Yapper live tour happening right now, coming to a city near you, Spokane, Stanford, Buffalo, and so, so many more. It never ends. Look for a sear you today. BigJ comedy dot com.

[Colum Turrell]

Fill her up.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Big J Okerson]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's story war with the story warriors, big j. Okerson and lewis j. Gomez. Ah, yeah, there's that pop Lewis was hoping we'd get. What is up, Dirty jurors? Welcome to Story Wars. Make some fucking noise in here for me, will you, please?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's it. Back in dirty Jersey. Sold out show. We sold out the show in less than an hour after we announced it. You guys are the fucking best. You guys jumped on board with that. Thank you guys for being here. And I was worried. We walked in the room, it's so bright. I was like, jay, stop making eye contact with everyone. We're not gonna get a pop.

[Big J Okerson]

I made eye contact with nobody. Then Louis as he's saying it to me. Just starts staring at everyone individually and pointing at them and fucking soul bonding. And I was like, just act like you're, you're not in the room. Just talk to me. And he's like, I can't. Everyone's looking at me. We're not gonna get our pop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All I want is a pop. Jesus Christ. This for the pops.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy lives for pops.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I live for pops.

[Big J Okerson]

We asked of every show how many people are familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How many people are not familiar with Story Wars?

[Big J Okerson]

Right here,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sir. You went, you went on the website for the exact minute you needed to to randomly buy comedy tickets.

[Big J Okerson]

These two fucking tattoo artist Nazis just need an alibi before they kill this black guy they're hanging out with.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Sir, if you're here, who's harassing Jews at the mall?

[Big J Okerson]

He's changed, dude. That was the old him. Every day he gets out of the shower and cries while he covers his swastik on his chest.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, look, I'm very excited about today's show. It's going to be fucking incredible. We have a star studded panel.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, yes, I also say if you're unfamiliar with the game, we will explain it when we get our amazing panel up here of contestants on the show. Our first contestant, you know him and love him. He is a border. He's been on the show a couple times now. We don't have his record here. That's a thing. Yell at the staff. You know I'm from the fight podcast. Make some noise right now for the hilarious column Tyll.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Welcome back to the show. The number one most requested person to replace Dave Smith on Legion of Skanks.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that true?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Out of the gates, right up the gates.

[Colum Turrell]

Dave leaving is bad for my career now because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why is that?

[Colum Turrell]

Because now you have no one to replace at the last minute.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Colum Turrell]

Every time I'm on Legion of Skanks is that it's a 10 minute text going, we're starting in five minutes. Are you here? And I'm like, I'm already here. I'm already dressed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And our next panelist, another returning Story wars competitor. She's got a book called you'd're better than me and a documentary called Women aren't funny. Clap it up as I just can for the legendary Bonnie McFarlane.

[Big J Okerson]

Aw, hello, Bonnie makes me so happy. I love when we have Bonnie on anything.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm actually Jim Carrey.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I didn't realize you were side job. Jim Carrey's clone. You gotta Talk out of your ass. We're not gonna get it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What's that you gotta do?

[Big J Okerson]

The Ace Ventura Talk out of your ass.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, yeah. I don't know what you're saying, but

[Big J Okerson]

the AI hasn't learned yet. Our last but not least, our final contestant. You fucking know him and love. One of the. I mean, OG's down to before this was its own show. This is one of the guys that made this show, something we wanted to do. Absolutely hilarious. His specials, Man Child and Breaking Dad. His podcast. What's the odds? Clap it up real big for Steve Ranazizi.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Fuck yes. This is the time, guys. Lock in. We're here for history.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It took Steve four hours to drive here from Long Island.

[Colum Turrell]

Yep.

[Big J Okerson]

And he was dying sick. He was dying sick hours ago.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I was a little sick this morning. I threw up a couple times.

[Big J Okerson]

And then. No, it's out of him now. It's out of him now, Bonnie.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You know, it's probably not Bonnie. They told me to nap it off and get my ass here.

[Big J Okerson]

So here I am. He said, I'm on IV antibiotics. And I said, shut up.

[Steve Rannazisi]

But this is gonna be my Jordan flu game. This is the one I'm down.

[Big J Okerson]

This is it. Yeah.

[Steve Rannazisi]

This is what I'm gonna fucking.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I don't like this at all.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Pop 50 up on the board, he's

[Lewis J. Gomez]

gonna just spew all over the front row.

[Big J Okerson]

I like. You're gonna be sweating like this at the end. You're gonna go, that story's Louis. I'm gonna.

[Colum Turrell]

He did it.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm gonna barely write the s.

[Big J Okerson]

It was Louis. Oh, my God.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's gonna be sick.

[Big J Okerson]

It's gonna be a very fun one. We are here in a special dojo of comedy episode down here in Morris Plains, New Jersey. Thank you guys for being here. If you're unfamiliar with the game, these guys, or it's your first time listening at home, it's a very, very simple game. All five of us on this panel, including Lewis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, Louis. Hate, hate, hate. Alex, our lovely producer, is going to read off eight of those stories.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you forget her name?

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Big J Okerson]

I was doing a dramatic pause.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay. It's Jersey. I forgot.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, our lovely producer. I forgot what you did for a second. Alex, our lovely producer, is gonna take eight of those stories, read them off one at a time. It will appear here on the screen. If it's your story, you're the only person who knows that. It's your job to make people think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every time I guess the story correctly, you get two points. And for every time, for every person on the panel that you fool, you get one point. So when it's your story, you have an opportunity to get four points. It's a very important moment. Once you write your answer on the dry erase board, put the dry erase board in the slot and remove your. That's it. That is your final answer. You cannot change your answer. And I'll tell you right now, you guys that have never been here. Nazi guy. This is a lot of fun. This is gonna be more fun than throwing rocks at brown people.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But we're not playing for fun. Jay, let them know what we're playing for today.

[Big J Okerson]

Do you think those guys are gonna fatten up this black guy and hunt him tomorrow? I just want to put it out there in case. We should all keep an eye on that. Every week here on story wars, we are playing for a book from the story awards lib. This week's winner will take home. Tomorrow is yesterday. Life, Death, and the pursuit of peace in Israel and Palestine. No. By. By Hussein Aga and Robert Malley.

[Steve Rannazisi]

We should all read that.

[Big J Okerson]

On October 7, 2020, three Hamas fighters killed more than 1100 people. Steve was there.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You're damn right. Barely escaped.

[Big J Okerson]

I took more than 200 hostages. Prompting an Israeli response that in turn has taken tens of thousands of lives and devastated the Gaza strip. Tomorrow is yesterday tackles the question, why did this happen? And can anything be done to grant peace and justice to Israelis and Palestinians alike? Usa. Usa.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Tonight's topic is hate.

[Big J Okerson]

Unrelated. Unrelated. Circumstantial. Totally circumstantial. I think everybody who's gonna get it is gonna get it. Let me ask this crowd. Morris Plains, New Jersey. Dojo of comedy. Are you guys ready for war?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We said, are you ready for war? So is Israel and Palestine.

[Big J Okerson]

How can we stop this war?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're playing a big game of story wars in the Middle East.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, they're all lying.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex, take that bad wing and read us story number one. Come on. That was. Start the whole thing over. That was uncomfortably low. It didn't make anybody feel like they were part of something. Alex, story number one.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, I felt something. By the way, can I just say this because a lot of people probably haven't been here before. This is how it always is. It's, like, such a mess. This is. You're not like, oh, Is we on an off night? No, this is how we do it here.

[Big J Okerson]

Place is straight jumping 24. Seven juke joint

[Alex (Producer)]

story number one, riding the train. One day when I was younger, I got so furious at a woman blasting her music that I started screaming at her until we were broken up.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It's me.

[Colum Turrell]

I think it could be Bonnie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, Bonnie's not screaming at a woman.

[Colum Turrell]

We are all bad at this game. Just so you guys know, we've all played this, and we've never.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

None of us have ever won.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I am 04.

[Colum Turrell]

This is like. It's sort of a. This is like a Make a wish. Like.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

These guys are gonna sit it out for the episode. So one of us.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm 0 and 4. You're owing 3 and you're.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I've. I believe I've won, though.

[Steve Rannazisi]

They told you they were.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I was told after the fact that I actually did.

[Colum Turrell]

No.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, look, I don't want to be a fucking cunt about it, but I think I fucking won.

[Colum Turrell]

But anyway, my. My new tactic is every time I do it, I think it's someone, and then they say, no, it's not me. So then I change my answer, thinking, why would they lie to me? And I keep getting duped. So my new tactic now is as soon as I do it, I'm just. I'm going with my gut. I'm going with my gut. And you can't talk.

[Big J Okerson]

You're too trusted. That's how the Brits got you guys.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, you got to go. Gut instinct.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Steve went with his gut this morning. That's what he was throwing up on.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's why I threw up.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, I gotta say, just doing some deductive reasoning. When I was younger. Well, when I was younger, I guess I've ridden the train before, but I've rode the train in New York City. Never in Philly. In New York. A total accumulative. In 25 years, 6 times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Only takes one time to argue with a young black kid.

[Big J Okerson]

You're absolutely right. It may have been the reason I never did it again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you need.

[Big J Okerson]

But I don't think I ever got there. So this Steve, you grew up in Long Island?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, this sounds like me. Dude, I have to read this twice to make sure it wasn't me.

[Big J Okerson]

L, I, R, R, Bonnie. Do you think Bonnie was younger, taking the train? She grew up in Canada. There's no train.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Started screaming at her until we were broken up. What does it even. I don't write like this. This makes sense.

[Steve Rannazisi]

When you were Sense. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They live on trains in Canada, though.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Riding the train. But if I. It was me, I would do this. Riding the train. It doesn't even make sense.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is my fantasy. Every time I see a young Puerto Rican or black kid on their phone listening to music, I'm like, oh, I would love to say something, but I need to get home.

[Steve Rannazisi]

When did that. Just listen to your music on the outside.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You can't.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Everyone does it everywhere now. All the time on hikes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Getting mad right now. This is definitely Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's not me. I wish it was, dude.

[Colum Turrell]

It could be Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I've been in this place before where I wanted to do this to someone.

[Big J Okerson]

I got it. Unless you're a complete psychopath of a guy. A psychopath?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

What's striking me here is she was blasting her music. I just started screaming at her.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Coming out of the gate, screaming, that's a woman.

[Colum Turrell]

That's fine.

[Big J Okerson]

A guy, before he started screaming, I would go like, miss, come on. Turn the music. That they would be like, a little more like. Maybe I just. As a guy, I can be authoritative in the situation. And then if she goes, fuck you, it might get there. But only a woman would be like, are you crazy? Yeah, but black people aren't a thing.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

So I scream at anyone I wanted.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She thought it was. She thought it was a ghost.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You're not taking it.

[Big J Okerson]

You thought you were yelling at a shadow of a white person.

[Steve Rannazisi]

They were a couple, dude. They were. They were a couple. So, I mean, this could have been the last straw. This could have been the thing where he just goes.

[Colum Turrell]

They were a bam.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You know, like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, I don't think. Broken up. They were dating. I think it's. They.

[Steve Rannazisi]

No. I started screaming at her until we were broken up.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but they mean broken up physically. I read it the same way.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I thought they, like, were a couple and they broke up with each other.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is Steve playing the game? Right?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yes. Yes, dude.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm. I. I am. I am, dude. Brilliantly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So we don't. Here's the thing. I will say, you don't know that they just started screaming. Eventually, they started screaming. It didn't.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Someone had to break them up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Somebody had to break the way it should have been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think it is. Here's the thing. All right, so look, Big J, I. I just realized it is a woman, so I would. Me and I know Jay, we're very similar.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You both put hands on women, so it could be either one.

[Colum Turrell]

It should have been. I drew hands on a woman.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Stop you.

[Big J Okerson]

You going to get crack now.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm not being as funny as I can.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wanted. If it was a dude, I would want to say something, but I'd be like, I just got to take this on the chin because I think about every time. But with a woman, I would be like, excuse me, miss, would you please turn that down? And if she reacted unfavorably.

[Colum Turrell]

Excuse me, ma'.

[Big J Okerson]

Am.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would. If she reacted unfavorably, I could be brought to screaming at her.

[Big J Okerson]

Screaming?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Screaming isn't what dudes do.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, we do. I scream all the time.

[Big J Okerson]

No, you yell.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, I mean, but I mean, I guess potato potatoes, right?

[Big J Okerson]

But it's. Who caught the patata is a chick saying screaming. Why am I convincing you? Vote for Steve. It's Bonnie. Boo. Yow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think Bonnie's telling somebody to turn their phone down. Bonnie. Bonnie would make like a passive.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Like I'd make a couple of phone calls and that phone would get turned.

[Colum Turrell]

Good instinct. I said Bonnie. And you can't convince me otherwise.

[Big J Okerson]

Unless.

[Colum Turrell]

Unless.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yes.

[Colum Turrell]

Canada doesn't have trains. I think I'm correct.

[Big J Okerson]

No, this was probably. I assume this was Canada girl lost in New York City early on and being like, this is fucking crazy. And not knowing that, like at some point when you're on the train, you're in that black lady blasting her music's world. You don't go into her world, turn her music down. You just go fucking fall into your white world and hope to God you get wherever you're going without getting stabbed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I haven't heard this story from Jay, but he has ridden the train a few times. I think that was a weird excuse to throw it out in the beginning. Like he's never ridden the train.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't scream like a lady.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you know what? You're going to scream when I get these points.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, me running. It's Lewis. I'm going to give you guys free points. It's Lewis.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You've touched it.

[Big J Okerson]

That's crazy. Me, I don't know why. You know what? It's me. I don't know. How do I play this to make this work to my benefit? Stop pointing at me, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy. I'm telling you, I've never screamed at a stranger lady.

[Colum Turrell]

What they do.

[Big J Okerson]

I've spit in a woman's face without screaming at her.

[Colum Turrell]

This is what they do.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I hate this,

[Big J Okerson]

Steve. Thank me later. Dude, we can't let Lewis run away. It might not be Lewis, but I certainly Promise you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, now nobody thinks it's Bonnie. That's a ridiculous thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't even think it's Bonnie anymore. Oh, my God. Lou is cleaned up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She wrote Cole.

[Colum Turrell]

She's.

[Big J Okerson]

She's cold.

[Colum Turrell]

That Oom we've met a hundred times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And she's like, who are you, Cole?

[Big J Okerson]

That's what it sounds like. That's fine. Phonetically, it works.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in story number one. Who was screaming at this woman?

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number one belongs to. Call him.

[Big J Okerson]

It's pronounced Call Oom. Call Oom.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Callum. That told me a lot. That told me a lot. That did a lot. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nobody was really. Nobody was talking.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That story came out. He had verbal diarrhea. This is how I'm playing the game. Just remember this guy.

[Colum Turrell]

Just remember.

[Big J Okerson]

For the future, though, huh? Wasn't me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tell us the story. What happened here?

[Colum Turrell]

This. I was on my way to work one morning. So it was like 6:00am, 6:30. And I was working at it.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Whatever.

[Colum Turrell]

I was working.

[Big J Okerson]

Potato factory.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah. Door to door. Potato salesman.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hello.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Get your freshest potatoes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It wasn't the potato factory. It was the potato factory.

[Colum Turrell]

Common factory.

[Big J Okerson]

That's for the ladies.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, yeah. And then there was this, like, younger Mexican girl, and she just started. And I was, like, trying to sleep with my. My hat over my eyes. And then she just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's ironic. She was like, that's our job. You can't sleep. Mexican.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, they're very sleepy. You don't have them out here. Ice cleaned up, huh? And then she started playing her music. And then it was just like, you know, like, startled me so much. I go, what the fuck are you doing? And she's like, I'm doing well. So then I, I. She just, like, wouldn't not play her music. So then I took out my phone and played music as loud as I could.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God. Mexican and Irish music battling.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God, dude. Oh, my God. Lord of the Dance. Wore a sombrero. Guys, let me know if you see any ninja silhouettes behind this in case we have to get ready for a fight.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I brought my samurai.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So how. What was her reaction?

[Colum Turrell]

We were kind of just, like, going at it. And then people besides her was like, calm down, calm down. And then eventually she got up and walked away, but there was the people around us. I don't know what was gonna happen next, but I had my phone with my music right beside her face like that, as loud as I could, going, I'll do this all day.

[Big J Okerson]

She said, song from the departed. Over and over again.

[Colum Turrell]

I was playing Enya. Put her to sleep.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Shhh.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex, where are our points at? Story one. Wow.

[Alex (Producer)]

All right. On the scoreboard, in second place with two points, Bonnie McFarland.

[Colum Turrell]

Bonnie. Bonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Let's not up those points like last time. Hey.

[Alex (Producer)]

And in the lead with three points. Column Turrell.

[Colum Turrell]

Column. Tyrell. Column Turrell.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, Story number two.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number two. The first time I smelled vagina, I hated it, but pretended to love it.

[Big J Okerson]

My instinct's Bonnie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It kind of is too. Like, why would they leave a vagina story in if it wasn't Bonnie?

[Big J Okerson]

What the fuck Column?

[Colum Turrell]

I'm going instinct. I'm going Big J. I told you how I'm playing the game. They can't convince me I'm wrong if I'm wrong myself. And I can live with that. I can sleep with that. Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Lock it in. I don't want to insult whoever wrote this story, but I would never just resign myself to the word vagina if I have the chance to use a pussy word.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, we're trying to get this on Netflix, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, no, I know, but I would say like slit. That's clear gas.

[Colum Turrell]

Little clam.

[Big J Okerson]

You know, I've taken to coos lately a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Vagina Cooter's an old classic.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like cooter is Canadian. Bonnie's got a cooter?

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, it's like the local hockey team.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I haven't seen my cooter in a while.

[Colum Turrell]

The Calgary Cooters are playing.

[Big J Okerson]

I reckon that's one hell of a Canadian cooter down there.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, I've heard tell.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See, like the. The only reason, and I'm maybe overthinking it, I think it might be Bonnie, is because this story seems like a dude story.

[Colum Turrell]

But do you think she smelled her own vagina and she.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She thought she was gonna love. She pretended to everyone. She's like, I love the smell of my cooter.

[Colum Turrell]

So funny.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't you love it?

[Colum Turrell]

I love. Yeah. Can I just go to the bathroom?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Really let yourself down.

[Colum Turrell]

You're like, we Canadians love our smelly vaginas.

[Big J Okerson]

This could be Column, cuz the first time he smelled a vagina, it was from a woman who I assume was sword fighting all day on some kind of a plane to. Cuz there can only be one immortal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. With some sort of Game of Thrones.

[Colum Turrell]

She ran through the fields escaping a wilding or something. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

She's been working all day in Middle Earth and then she comes back to you. And crosses over the moat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then you don't want to smell a North of the wall.

[Colum Turrell]

She's been making swords or something.

[Big J Okerson]

And none of that was the problem. It was just. She was a ginger.

[Steve Rannazisi]

This. This is Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve is being very quiet right now.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be Steve. It could be Lou.

[Colum Turrell]

He was a bit yappy the last time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I feel like it's. Call him again. Hey, he's like, doing the same thing he did last time.

[Colum Turrell]

That's how you play at the game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

They call me Cool Hand Column.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Would they ever do two in the same like that fast?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, she spent two in the pussy.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's how you do it, buddy. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Only one for the stink.

[Colum Turrell]

Honestly, not for.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I go the other way. It's so weird.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Two in the stink, one in the pink. Oh, you want to turn your hand, like.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I'm dyslexic. I'm dyslexic. So I. I have a very tight pussy, but a gaping asshole since I was 17 years old.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It's the Canadian conversion. They call it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve, tell me why this isn't you. When's the first time you smelled pussy, Steve?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Probably 15. And it was fine. It was awesome. I never. I gave it.

[Big J Okerson]

You almost threw open your mouth when you said that.

[Steve Rannazisi]

What? It was awesome.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I've never. I've never heard anyone more passionate about pussy.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's not me, dude.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I love pussy.

[Big J Okerson]

He goes, no, dude, it's fine.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You got love, pussy and everyone.

[Colum Turrell]

I wish I could have it now. I wish I could have it right now.

[Big J Okerson]

From the first day I smelled.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I was sick before I got here, guys. I love pussy.

[Colum Turrell]

What was her name? What was her name?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Bill?

[Colum Turrell]

William.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I mean, Willamina. No, I love pussy. I've never not loved it. I love the smell. I've got Gone down on steak. Well, it doesn't smell great, but this is the life we've chosen, so we got to do it.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree.

[Steve Rannazisi]

And you got.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree. That is the. That's the.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You don't embarrass them. Like.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. You know, once in a while a

[Steve Rannazisi]

girl tell everyone later. But you don't do it right. Then in the moment, you got to keep.

[Big J Okerson]

What's she gonna say? Don't go down there. I ran here. They're not gonna say that.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's not gonna stop me.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, girls do it on purpose. This.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Please.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm looking.

[Big J Okerson]

Me.

[Steve Rannazisi]

And they.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Though it up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Steve vibes.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Dude, come at me, bro. I know Who I'm voting for who you voting? You put me down he put I know I'm voting for I'm going last

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bonnie just drew the symbol for pedophiles this morning.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I drew in a pussy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Please help.

[Big J Okerson]

For what for what it's worth Steve. It could be Lewis for sure. I think it's you.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's definitely not me.

[Big J Okerson]

But honestly choose me if it's not you. I can't think of anybody else besides Lewis for this.

[Colum Turrell]

It's not my story but it does I don't remember loving the smell of it's like whiskey like you gotta pretend you like it for a while I

[Steve Rannazisi]

know and they go back now you

[Colum Turrell]

got a little now you have a

[Steve Rannazisi]

cigar and some I've never seen first

[Big J Okerson]

of all he voted very fast and column comes from a land where they don't know how to wash their I'd

[Colum Turrell]

assume dude I bet you J and it's Jay. I know how how mean he's being about my people because I smelt it off him.

[Steve Rannazisi]

All right?

[Colum Turrell]

I said him straight away. It was a good instinct. And he's been pretty mean about the

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Irish

[Colum Turrell]

because the Irish are onto these fucking Jews. Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

We're not.

[Steve Rannazisi]

And.

[Colum Turrell]

And we're very vocal about it. And I've read that book to it.

[Big J Okerson]

Whoa. Don't believe his lies.

[Colum Turrell]

Ah. It's Jay. Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're not considering the fact that Jay is a flaming homosexual.

[Colum Turrell]

So this actually tracks He's a Not

[Big J Okerson]

one of you have considered that that Jay's a Squirman.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Have you guys met Christine?

[Big J Okerson]

Otherwise known as Beard Evans.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I wanna here's the thing. Steve is just acting too weird for me. I gotta go with Steve. Or I don't think it's Big J. But I think this could be Bonnie and I think that's why Right I

[Steve Rannazisi]

gotta get this right I gotta get this right if it ain't you dude it is one of you two but I gotta get the right it is one of you two But I'm happy everyone else voted cuz you're all wrong

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a people please Stinkiest I've gotten

[Colum Turrell]

in front of yeah but you didn

[Steve Rannazisi]

pretend like you Come on one time. Let's go.

[Colum Turrell]

Let's go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh with Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think Steve's acting at the end.

[Colum Turrell]

He wouldn't have added it in. This is just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is terrible acting this way. You're not in the league anymore.

[Colum Turrell]

But he already won. Why would he continue to lie? It's Bonnie. So happy Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All of our answers are in Story

[Alex (Producer)]

number two belongs to Lewis J.

[Steve Rannazisi]

God damn it.

[Big J Okerson]

You were the gay the whole time.

[Colum Turrell]

I'm.

[Big J Okerson]

Let me smell it. Cuz I love. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This was in the sixth grade. My best friend Mike had a Jewish girlfriend.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Pussy.

[Big J Okerson]

What?

[Colum Turrell]

No wonder you didn't like it.

[Big J Okerson]

I think that was his in hindsight.

[Steve Rannazisi]

What are those?

[Colum Turrell]

Back vaginas?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Foreskin cheese.

[Big J Okerson]

Like they say, hindsight want My best

[Lewis J. Gomez]

friend Mike is the book we're giving away next week on Story wars and it's about a man with a back. No, he. He was dating this girl named Megan who was like a chubby, half Puerto Rican, half Jewish chick. And he fingered. He would like fingered every day after school and he did the classic thing where he would let all of his friends smell his finger and her. Her smelled like.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, I do like the term of classic in that classic thing

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I've always did OG style.

[Big J Okerson]

I've always, always 100 like understood the joke of the guy letting everybody smell his fingers. Never been in a smell my finger situation.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I love it.

[Colum Turrell]

No, it's a. Pull my finger. Haha. Now your hand smells like vagina.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, pull my finger. You got on your fingers now.

[Colum Turrell]

No, you got all over your hands.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, he would let us smell his finger after he fingered this. Let us every day, let us.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I think he figured his own.

[Steve Rannazisi]

And we were.

[Colum Turrell]

I think you guys stood in line

[Bonnie McFarlane]

this you got scammed.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Here's a problem with 12 year old girls. They don't know how to clean their yet. And this is how I know that

[Bonnie McFarlane]

they don't need

[Big J Okerson]

idiot new car smelling it.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Dude, what are you talking about?

[Big J Okerson]

They're still wiping back the front. Yeah, yeah, I said it. I said it. Your mothers don't talk to you soon enough. Mothers and daughters, am I right?

[Steve Rannazisi]

What do you think Epstein wanted all those 12 year old for, dude? Cuz they stunk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They stunk.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Idiot.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well look, this girl's day to wash her out. We got some.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This girl's stuff like hot garbage, dude. And I remember he. He let us smell it and I'd be like m awesome.

[Big J Okerson]

Yum.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And it was disgusting.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And then he went to bed that night, like smelled my.

[Big J Okerson]

He smelled my why Nightmares. Why does my penis smell so much better than this girl's vagina? Maybe I should explore other penises.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are our points at?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh gosh.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Already?

[Alex (Producer)]

All right. Tied for last place with zero points each, Big J Okerson and Steve Rannazizi. In third place with two points, Bonnie McFarland.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

But I thought I got three points. Didn't I get a point for someone picking me?

[Colum Turrell]

No. Oh.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh.

[Colum Turrell]

This is why you keep losing the game. Yes, I definitely won.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I won.

[Alex (Producer)]

In second place with three points column Turrell, I'm right.

[Colum Turrell]

I got you right where I want you.

[Alex (Producer)]

And in the lead with four points, Louis J. Gome.

[Big J Okerson]

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[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you don't want to. And I have this story. This is Story Wars. I've talked about this before. There's been times where I couldn't get it up. You know, one time I couldn't get it up with a really, really hot chick and I thought about it every day since Louis. Obviously that story does not have to be your story, my friend. All you got to do is go to hims.com warswithaz w a r z free online. Visit hims.com warz actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Future include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information. Okay, let's take a quick moment to thank Brunt Workwear for supporting this show. We love Brunt Workwear. If you see me wearing boots, guess what they are. Brunt Workwear boots. I get them for everybody in my life. Genuinely the most comfortable and cool looking boots you're ever going to get. If the Double Whammy if you are working in construction or on a work site, this is the only boot you should ever wear. I wear them because they look cool. But you're probably a badass like most of the fans that listen to this show. And you got to get yourself some Brunt Workwear.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you're a blue collar piece of. Why do your feet have to feel bad just because you decide not to go to college? That sucks. Or maybe you went to college and you want chicks to think that you're a badass, hard working construction dude. Either way, the boots are going to be super comfortable because they're Brunt Workwear. And they do both. They have a full range of high performance gear as well, from heavy duty work pants to weather resistant jackets. No matter what the job demands, Brunt has you covered.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Covered.

[Big J Okerson]

And for a limited time, Story wars Fans can get $10 off at Brunt when you use the Code wars with a Z Warz at checkout W A R Z. Just head over to Brunt B R u n t workwear.com use that code wars and you're good to go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment to thank Ultra Pouches for supporting the show. I love my Ultra pouches. Okay, I see everyone pouching. Everyone's popping a pouch in their mouth. They're so cool. They're taking their nicotine, they're getting their caffeine. That's not what Ultra Pouches are. These are a much healthier and much better version design for mental clarity and enhanced focus. They have a blend of nootropics and vitamins. B12 and Alpha GPC. These are two things that I we're already taking and now I get to put them in my mouth, have a little pouch, take it anywhere I go. You feel focused and energized anytime, anywhere.

[Big J Okerson]

Ultra Pouches can get you focused and energized anywhere, anytime. It's the boost of the nicotine pouch without those side effects. There's no dizziness, no stomach rumbles. Just a delicious way to satisfy all them cravings. They're easy to carry around and they really do exactly what they say as advertised. And they come in great flavors. Cool mint, wintergreen, tropical watermelon. And the all new blue Raz. Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch, delivering instant focus and mental clarity without that nicotine or caffeine. And new customers can use the Code wars with a Z W A R z to get 15 off@take ultra.com. that's Code wars with a Z for 15 off@take ultra.com after you purchase, let them know Story War sent you. All right, let's get back into it. Alex. Story number three.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number three. An old roommate was such a cunt. I used to piss in their dresser drawer at least once a week. They never knew it was me and were always so, so upset. It made me very happy.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Louis, that's Lewis. Lewis has lived with girls and every time, I mean, just roommates. And every time it has gone like cops called possible courtroom situation bad.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, I've lived with, I've lived with females, but I've only been the only other roommate. They would have to know it was me. Who else is pissing in the drawer?

[Big J Okerson]

No, they just. Because they just never. They just probably accepted that their drawer smelled like pissed. And you live with. And you live with a woman who may have smelled like piss all the time at one point.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh my God. Why would she always smell like Sam Lyons?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm trying to think of how I've only lived with two women ever. One was a giant Alaskan comedian. We won't say who may have smelled like pissed.

[Big J Okerson]

Like piss. Thank you. Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And the other one was like an old lady. I did live with my drug dealer's mom.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, that was hilarious.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn. Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

Is is just for woman here or is more like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like the way you guys

[Steve Rannazisi]

are. Very English word.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not picturing. It's true. I'm not picturing Bonnie hopping up in a drawer to take a sit. Piss on someone's clothes.

[Colum Turrell]

I think it could be the first

[Bonnie McFarlane]

non gender thing is gonna be like, it's Bonnie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, no, you're right. This has such a conversation. This doesn't mean it's a woman.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a great point.

[Colum Turrell]

But this. This is like a woman thing to do, right? This is like a pure evil.

[Steve Rannazisi]

This is hatred.

[Colum Turrell]

This.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I did jerk off in my roommate's shampoo bottle for a month before I moved out.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was a guy. It was a guy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Shut the fuck.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it's okay, everyone. No. You thought I was a woman.

[Steve Rannazisi]

But I'm always afraid of that in the comedy condos.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And then Lewis used it and look what happened.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Buddy hair got pregnant.

[Big J Okerson]

Stay at a comedy condo. Go. Go to CVS and get some baby Tres.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Even the nice ones. Mother shit.

[Big J Okerson]

Definitely goddamn shampoo.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, man. They're coming in the shampoo bottle.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a great prank.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's disgusting.

[Colum Turrell]

My shampoo never runs out. It's incredible.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's such good value.

[Colum Turrell]

It's a never ending bottle of shampoo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you. If you in the bottle, it would still be called shampoo.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, and it smells like Lewis's fingers.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Guys, guys, guys. He does that in his act.

[Big J Okerson]

Those are prepared pole that's been in his set. This is special.

[Colum Turrell]

It'll be coming out soon.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, he was waiting to unveil that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I mean, this is a great point that Colin brings up. It doesn't mean the cunt was a woman. This could easily be a guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Have you ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This does seem like Steve is like.

[Big J Okerson]

No way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pissing in somebody's. That's. That's A hilarious college type thing to do.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, I piss in my wife.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what I piss.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you guys are in the water sports, kid.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Just kidding, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Jk Long island really is a swingers community.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Never gonna see this, but Jake, I appreciate a swingers.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I don't get it. Can you pee if you're hard?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, it's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Okay, I guess. Thank you then.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But it's. It's harder shots. I. I remember from health. Classic evaluation.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It comes out like a Lee. Like instead of full power because it's like trying to shut down both systems if.

[Colum Turrell]

If I never piss went hard.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

When you do your thesis on this, what the.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I pull out the pen and be

[Big J Okerson]

like, jeez, I'm going Steve or column.

[Colum Turrell]

Well, you're wrong about me.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Wrong about me too.

[Colum Turrell]

Dude, I just said that. Copycat.

[Big J Okerson]

I got nothing.

[Steve Rannazisi]

We have the trust.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what? I quit. Never mind.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm going Bond.

[Colum Turrell]

I think this is a, like a vindictive lady thing to do. It shows commitment to do it every week and also to be happy. I'm just like. It makes me happy. They were upset. That's like a female. They were upset, so I'm happy. That's like women. This is women shit. This is a women thing.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but like when a girl takes a pissed. They have to like wipe or like waddle to a bathroom to wipe after they pissed. It's not a satisfying action. Whipping your wiener out and just dumping it in a drawer and taking a fat piss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, hold on.

[Big J Okerson]

It feels great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You got to consider it could be a bottom drawer. She just stood above it with her legs open.

[Big J Okerson]

But even if I'm just saying a girl taking a piss, that same like hanging one out of your wang feel, man, this one you resonate with a chick.

[Steve Rannazisi]

J, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah, dude.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Because you're talking too much.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Colum Turrell]

He's gone. Steve. I locked in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think Steve's onto him. I think one of Jay's tells is, yeah, somebody votes for him, he votes for them automatically, right away.

[Big J Okerson]

I know it's not me. Yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Why wouldn't you want to get the points?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Get those points, huh?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J is the answer.

[Colum Turrell]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow.

[Colum Turrell]

It is you.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, it's not me. But is it you? You?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's not me. I would do this.

[Big J Okerson]

I know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of our answers are in.

[Colum Turrell]

I think it's Steve.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, if it's Steve, I'm gonna be

[Bonnie McFarlane]

so pissed, cuz that was my brother Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, it's Steve.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number three belongs to Steve Ranazi.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm never right about Jay's tells.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Fuck yeah, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve, tell us this story. Was that a guy or a girl?

[Steve Rannazisi]

College dude. Someone was onto it. I go, oh, no. Oh, no. Start talking column. Start talking column. But, yeah, I was in college. It was. I'll say his name. Kurt. Barney. I still hate him. To the day we were tripled. He was an upstate piece of shit. And every week, my other guy friend that we would take all of his clothes out of his drawer, piss on the wood. Oh, my God. And then pat the clothes down into them. So, like, he would smell it, but he would feel around. And you don't feel wet. You just always had the stank, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

And.

[Steve Rannazisi]

And when we didn't smell it anymore, and it. It hurt us. It hurt us, too. We were in the room.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, he's like.

[Steve Rannazisi]

But his hatred of every time he opened that drawer made us happy. And that was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, so that was the hater. I thought you hated him.

[Steve Rannazisi]

We hated him. But, like, he. He was so, so upset by this obvious.

[Big J Okerson]

Worth it worth for you to live in this.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Like, he was like, somebody's cursed my. My underwear drawer. And that was us, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it turns out it was that Steve Renaissance. He blessed that drawer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's right.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I christened that. It was awesome.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow. Great story, Alex. Three stories down. Where our points at?

[Alex (Producer)]

All right. Tied for fourth place with two points each. Big Jay Okerson and Bonnie McFarland.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I don't know how I'm getting points.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm on the board.

[Alex (Producer)]

Tied for second place with three points each column. Turl and Steve ran is easy, right? And in the lead with four points, Lis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is a very, very close game right now with three stories down.

[Big J Okerson]

It is so tight that all of us can take living in our libraries already. Tomorrow is yesterday, which looks closely at the rise and fall of the Oslo peace process and the many attempts at a lasting agreement. Drawing on their work advising Palestinian leaders as well as US Presidents, including Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, and Joe Biden, the authors offer an inside account of the talks, the personalities involved, and the decisions that shaped the conflict.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, Story number four.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number four. When visiting someone's house, my friend went looking in rooms and found an old Klan outfit in a closet.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Was this guy on the pin panel? Oh. When visiting someone's house, my friend went looking in rooms.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

When somebody has to have a friend. That narrows it down.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. That's why I thought it might be you, Bonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Do they have a clan in Ireland column?

[Colum Turrell]

No. It's gone. That's.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's an old wives tail.

[Colum Turrell]

Ask me again off camera.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Okay,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

that's a great point.

[Big J Okerson]

There.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there a clan in Canada or in.

[Steve Rannazisi]

There's got to be a clan of Canada.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think so?

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, there got to be Canada.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Looking for the clan in Canada.

[Colum Turrell]

The clan of Canada.

[Steve Rannazisi]

There's definitely.

[Big J Okerson]

Get those black. Say get those Jews.

[Colum Turrell]

Get your sheets. Get your sheets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, all these black guys moved into our neighborhood.

[Big J Okerson]

Gravy on your fries. Killing all the Jews.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

But this. But this didn't happen to anyone here. This is just a retold story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My friend went look. That is true. Which is weird.

[Big J Okerson]

Well this is also like. It could be just a friend was like a person who lies about stuff and came back and said I've seen all clan.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Right.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not even evident of anything happening. Me, I grew up in West Philadelphia, born and raised. There was better chance of.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Kill ourselves.

[Big J Okerson]

We would find an old breakdancing linoleum or a gun sometimes. But a Klan outfit. There wasn't enough white people there for that.

[Steve Rannazisi]

When visiting someone's house.

[Big J Okerson]

And if they were their clan outfit wouldn't be visiting.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Who would be visiting?

[Colum Turrell]

You guys are the worst found.

[Big J Okerson]

Who's a very southern found.

[Colum Turrell]

I don't find things.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Who's finding things?

[Colum Turrell]

I don't find things. I see things.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Who sees everything?

[Colum Turrell]

Just sounds like Jay.

[Steve Rannazisi]

He.

[Colum Turrell]

He's always finding things.

[Big J Okerson]

All right. Am very. I am very willful.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know.

[Colum Turrell]

Tell me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think if it was me, it would be a new clan outfit. So I think visiting.

[Big J Okerson]

Visiting is a very southern dry cleaners talking. Calling some. Visiting someone's house is a very southern thing. And then I'm wondering because none of us are southern, is it also a goofy rural Canadian thing? Probably. And for those reasons, I'm out.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, this is a shark tank, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

I meant for those reasons. I think it's Bonnie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This isn't.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Who wants to buy the clan outfit?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, Bonnie, apologize. I do have one piece clan outfits though that I think I will say

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would have joined the clan if the colors weren't white. I can't wear white. I spill stuff on myself. It's a whole thing.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I look terrible in all black.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'd be like way in the clan

[Big J Okerson]

or Hispanic cuz he can't wear white.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean how do you hate after Labor Day? I'm bombing tonight. But these are all great bits. All great.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's not a bad fashion.

[Colum Turrell]

You guys don't deserve loose.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, how do I hate After Labor Day. That's going to go in my act. Bonnie. Write it down, Tom.

[Big J Okerson]

That's going in the act.

[Colum Turrell]

Write it down, Tom. Add some tags, Tom.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not in the act, but it's going in.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's going in, baby. The new piece of the act is the.

[Colum Turrell]

Is the. Is. Wait, where is the clan though? Honestly?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Where is it?

[Colum Turrell]

Like, where is it in Canada?

[Big J Okerson]

It's in all of us, dude.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's in your house. You find the hatred.

[Big J Okerson]

It's like the last dragon, dude. The master was always inside of you.

[Steve Rannazisi]

But Pop, Pop, how do I find the hatred?

[Big J Okerson]

It's the one place you haven't looked.

[Colum Turrell]

I don't think I'm racist enough for the clan.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Go to the movies at Friday at 8pm and see it. You'll find it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You'll find. You'll find the hate in your heart.

[Big J Okerson]

You just gotta look around anywhere urban.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, my friend went looking in rooms. I mean, this could be anybody for that reason. Like having a friend's story is a little bit of a weird.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's tough. It could be because it doesn't have to be about the person that's on the panel. It could be. What about your fucked up friends?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't think Big J, here's the. Big J plays the game enough. I've never seen him put in a story about a friend's story. That's the only reason why I'm not thinking it's Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Who do you think it is?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Bonnie vibe, to be honest with you. And this is like, this is like Voss told her the story. Cuz he's such a Jew. He was like, did you know what happened one time? Do you know what happened that one time?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, dude, Boss.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I see my friend boss going through.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, boss going through everyone's closet. You know, it's fun. This is Looking for Pockets.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Bonnie's story about her family. But she tells V all the time that it was a friend of a friend. Yeah, no, I was visiting somebody and then we went to their friend's house and there was a clan outfit. I would never be that close to that kind of nonsense. You're terrified of your psychotic Jewish husband.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

What the.

[Colum Turrell]

I going. Good instinct.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm going, Steve, baby.

[Colum Turrell]

I think the clan could be playing along.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I don't know. But it didn't have to be there. It could have been here.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie, are those Easter egg tits you

[Lewis J. Gomez]

put at the top there or eyes? So those eyeballs.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Their eyes. But I, I was like if someone calls them tits, I'll know what they're thinking about tits.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm thinking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait a minute. Bonnie, is. Is the O and column a butthole? What is going on with you?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Wait, what did I do?

[Big J Okerson]

Is that M a woman spreading her legs wide open? Can you class it up? Did you draw a bush in the middle of that M?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is that you? The little hanging thing in the back of a slut's throat?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Just letters.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Everybody's in a great sketch. Alex.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Good sketch.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number four belongs to column Turo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Column Turo. Who is this? Who was his friend?

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, a friend is. No. So this is. I was part of the story. I don't. I guess I wrote it in a way that it seemed like it was just a different story.

[Alex (Producer)]

No.

[Colum Turrell]

I was working for a moving company, and we were cleaning out someone's house, like, in. I don't know where it was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, because if you wrote moving company, they would have known America.

[Colum Turrell]

I just said visiting someone's house to try keep it as. Yeah, in America, there's not. There is no clan in Europe, hatred only exists here.

[Big J Okerson]

But also no black people. But this was there.

[Colum Turrell]

This was just. This was just one of those houses that, like, when you showed up, and nothing was cleaned yet, and they were still, like, unpacking boxes and all sorts of. And then one of the guys I worked with was like, yo, come here. Have a look at this. Because we were going through. And in the. In the closet was like, this old clan outfit, this old white clan outfit. Didn't look like a costume. Looked like a legit, proper piece.

[Big J Okerson]

The patches were sewn on.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

This was. And I know my.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Sounds like you tried it.

[Big J Okerson]

He's wearing stickers, man. These things were sewn on.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You got pictures.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So what. What did. What you do? What was your reaction?

[Colum Turrell]

We didn't do an. We just. You know what I'm saying?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You put it on. You're like,

[Big J Okerson]

did you.

[Colum Turrell]

Did you move it?

[Big J Okerson]

Did you pack it for the move?

[Colum Turrell]

Was it the hood pack that they packed?

[Steve Rannazisi]

You got the hood, too? You saw the hood and everything?

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, it was all part of it.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Damn.

[Colum Turrell]

It was all attached to it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think that's what makes it a clan outfit. Otherwise, it's just a white cloak.

[Colum Turrell]

I found some clan pants.

[Big J Okerson]

I think there's also white gloves. Like, they're like a dish. Disney mascots.

[Colum Turrell]

And I just found a white shirt

[Lewis J. Gomez]

that's a clan shirt.

[Colum Turrell]

It's definitely.

[Big J Okerson]

If ever I've seen the clans, this.

[Colum Turrell]

He's got eight clan shirts in there.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I see you Hanes Beefy tea.

[Colum Turrell]

But when we worked in the moving company, yeah, we would show up all the time. People just wouldn't be ready. You'd have stuff packed up, and you tried to take, like, a wardrobe, and it would be full of whatever you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You've moved me. I remember when you used to move people. You guys were really cheap. So that's the type of people that you're dealing with. Dealing with. You have to charge a lot of money, and then you're dealing with classy people who are ready to go.

[Colum Turrell]

We would show up. Well, I never knew, but we showed up with people. There was, like, syringes and stuff underneath couches and everything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was. You told me you would never tell anyone that story. I remember you.

[Colum Turrell]

You know, yours was the child porn.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you moved my mattress dude column. And I remember who you're. Who you're moving with, but my mattress was covered in period blood. And I remember being like, God damn it, I feel bad for these guys. He's got it on his face like this.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, why?

[Big J Okerson]

So what? The movers found out that you're a woman now? Big deal.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I hated the smell of that mattress.

[Big J Okerson]

Smells a disgusting. I have to rub my beautiful smelling dick all over it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Four stories down. Alex, where are our points at now?

[Alex (Producer)]

In last place with two points, Big J. Okerson.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, I don't care.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's early.

[Alex (Producer)]

In fourth place with three points, Steve Ranazizi. Tied for second place with four points each, Luis J. Gomez and Bonnie McFarlane. And in the lead with six points,

[Big J Okerson]

Colum, turn the column.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what else has six points of Star of David? I have a tattooed right here.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Oh, he watches this by laughing. That so. Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is our halfway point of the show. Four stories down. this point, we're gonna do a little bit of plugs. So, Steve, what are you plugging, my friend?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, I'm gonna be in. Sorry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Month.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Toronto in. This comes out in a month about.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, all right.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Toronto, Canada, end of March, which is

[Lewis J. Gomez]

less than a month. But home run.

[Steve Rannazisi]

And those shows were great. Yeah, they were awesome. Toronto, Backroom Comedy Club, and then Key West Comedy Club. Second weekend of April. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Tickets at steveren is easy.com or punch up live, whatever you prefer.

[Big J Okerson]

Get him.

[Colum Turrell]

All right, Steve Rennesus.

[Big J Okerson]

Tommy.

[Colum Turrell]

Pass.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I said pass. I don't know. Comedian Bonnie McFarlane. That's my Instagram.

[Colum Turrell]

Hell yeah, Bonnie McFarlane. Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks, column.

[Colum Turrell]

Check out my podcast with Tristan bowling and Lev for cockfight. You can see me on the road. Columterrell.com for all those tickets. I'm coming up in Detroit, Columbus, Phoenix. Loads of dates up there. Colomterell.com thank you very much,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Bigjaycomedy.com for all my dates. Greatest Yapper live tour happening right now. And then of course go to make sure you check out Bonfire on Faction Talk, SiriusXM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. Four days a week, five days a week, I guess, with the best of and of course the flagship show over here at Gas Digital, the Legion of motherfucking Skanks.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh.

[Big J Okerson]

Follow me on YouTube. Subscribe to my YouTube Big J Okerson. I do live streams inconsistently and put a bunch of stuff up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come check me out on the Rattle Me this tour. Come to a city near you. Go to my website, LewisWisGangs.com Sign up for my mailing list. You get a bonus podcast, the Lewis Journal Podcast, just for subscribers to my mailing list. It's free. Check out all the other pods that I do realize podcast the regs, Legion of Skanks, all on gas digital.gas digital.com if you guys don't know. We have I think like 30 or 40 episodes that you can't get anywhere else of story one wars plus pre release. And all of our episodes are ad free and uncensored. So all the words we can't put on YouTube, guess what? You get them in advance on gas digital.com use the promo code wars. You save a couple bucks a month. It supports the show directly, which is the best thing you could do. And I have a book myself that actually just started shipping. It's officially out in Barnes and Noble or on Amazon. It's called Knives and Spoons. It's a memoir of my childhood. It's. It's great. People really seem to like it, so go buy that as well. And yeah, that's. That's that.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck yeah. All right. Since pretty much everybody here knows the show, you guys know that while me and Steve seem like we're fucked up the ass and I'm just dragging down me. Steve, you're beating me. I'm in last place. It's a very familiar spot for myself, but I'm a second half guy. They call it a tale of two halves in sports. And this might be no exception because as you might know, everybody here has been done the show before. For the second half of the show, we go double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This guy looks confused.

[Big J Okerson]

Jay the Nazi I'm sorry, guys. It's a very. It's a very.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Imagine this guy is comfortable.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, I love it. No, we're comedians. It's real.

[Steve Rannazisi]

When you did it, There goes our YouTube.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Remember, sir, before, you could kill one Jew, but now you get to kill two Jews because you have double points.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. It was. But not exactly what's happening. Whereas before, if you fooled somebody, you got one point. If you guessed the correct person, you got two points. We now know that that bumps up to double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel like they could be more excited about it.

[Big J Okerson]

No, they're stoked. Dude, this is Jersey. This isn't the one. We do the show in Manhattan where it's a bunch of people that are tourists in there and they're just doing this stuff. These people off to work tomorrow and they came out tonight, so they're exhausted because they also work till today. And I think they're doing pretty good for being exhausted. J, J, J, J, J, J.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Who starts it for themselves?

[Big J Okerson]

Me.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Who starts it for themselves? Come on, guys. Jay, come on.

[Colum Turrell]

J. That was your. He rallied the troops.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is. This is a very blue collar looking crowd. A lot of these people worked double shifts.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay,

[Big J Okerson]

gay, gay, gay, gay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, story number five should be loud.

[Big J Okerson]

Why is it low again?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's low again.

[Big J Okerson]

Why is it low?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We look like. Louder.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's double points now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, hold.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, cuz, I.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're not a story war.

[Steve Rannazisi]

All right, Don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You cannot trigger double points. I was just.

[Big J Okerson]

I didn't realize that. White guy's got a wolf on his head. He's got a wolf tattoo up the side of his head.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

That's intense.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, story number five.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number five. I lied and said my grandfather just died to get out of a gig that I've done before and hated. He actually died many years before that gig. Gig.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ah, the good old grandpa died. Lie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, this says a lot about whoever wrote this. Well, not me. No. But somebody tried to get out of a gig, which, I don't know, maybe Jay has, but I don't think Lewis doesn't get booked. Yeah, yeah. Lewis is taking every gig he gets.

[Big J Okerson]

Ah, interesting. Interesting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a great point.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, this is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is an old grizzle vet. This is gonna be either Big J or Bonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Why would you do.

[Big J Okerson]

You're holding up great.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It could be me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It could be Steve as well. Me and calm. This is actually a great point. Neither one of us are trying to get out of gigs.

[Big J Okerson]

No, But I also. Bonnie, I just hate too much of a push. What if it's, like, a gig?

[Colum Turrell]

I just wouldn't lie. I would just. I would just say, hey, I'm. Well, I would lie, but I wouldn't go that extreme. I would just be like, hey, I decided not to come. No, why would you.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Why would you say yes to the gig if you. It didn't. If you hated it the first time?

[Colum Turrell]

Because I'm a good guy.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, that's a J move.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, that sounds like somebody is.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, trust me, I try to get out of this gig. Okay?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I told them my grandfather died. They said, we don't care.

[Sponsor Announcer 2]

Get in here, Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Ditch. No, I wish this was me, but it's not. My grandfather died, both of them, when I was in the fifth grade.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Here's a great point, though. Big J is very nice. Like, Big J is a really nice guy, and he does. And he's a people pleaser. He doesn't want to get. He doesn't want to tell people no. So I could see him saying yes to a gig that he didn't really want to do and then being like, I gotta get the out of this gig. Big.

[Big J Okerson]

My grandpa died. That's unscrupulous. He wouldn't. What that makes me. Well, my grandpa died when I was young.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Many years.

[Big J Okerson]

It didn't matter. Yes.

[Colum Turrell]

I don't think it's Jay. I think it's Steve. Ronnie.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, it's definitely not me. Guys, you're going down the wrong path.

[Colum Turrell]

I'm gonna go. Bonnie again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think you guys are giving Big Jason points right now. He's excited. He's trying to. He's trying to hold it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You're right. You're right. Oh, I'm a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's trying to. This is. He's loving this right now.

[Big J Okerson]

When historically, people text me or message me that when you hype me up, that it's me that it's often you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who texts you this.

[Big J Okerson]

Dms.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This never happened. Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

I checked my hand.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you, audience. It's never happened.

[Big J Okerson]

Absolutely happens. People message me all the time with. The idea is Lewis does this. It's a tell.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. There's. There's things on the Reddit where it's like. They have charts where they're like, no, when he does this, none of it's right. It makes no sense. These are autistic retards.

[Big J Okerson]

But I don't think it's you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do. I'm getting Big J vibes right now.

[Colum Turrell]

I'm going again. I'm going, Bonnie. I'm sticking to Bonnie. I think it's Bonnie or Steve. I think. Yeah, I'm thinking Steve to go twice again to the same gig. Why would you say yes to the second gig again?

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's what I said.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, it has to be somebody's story.

[Colum Turrell]

No, no, I'm saying I had done it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

He said, who's that stupid? That's what he's saying.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bonnie says, Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Thanks, Bonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I get it. Hey, like an idiot, it easily could have been me.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, Steve is a people pleaser, but I'm going, Bonnie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of our answers are in who lied about this gig.

[Colum Turrell]

Come on, let's hear it.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number five belongs to Big J. Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The audience wants you to win so badly. Look, they get sad. You don't get points. They want to be here for like a legendary Big J. Win every one of them. Yeah, Big J. Are we right? You're just a people pleasing asshole.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, it was, well, so funny. So I didn't even get out of the. I'm such a people pleaser that this, this my grandfather thought didn't get me out of the gig. It got me half out of the gig. It was a heavy metal cruise ship gig. And so I said it to get out of it. But I was like, but I mean, like, like I, you know, I already said I'd do it, so it's like, I'll go. But when we get to the whatever, the Bahamas, the port, like, I'm gonna fly out of there. They were like, totally cool. And then I thought it would be over and they were just accepted. This is how it's gonna roll. But when I, from the second I got there, the whole time they kept going like, and we're also, man, we're like, terribly sorry about your grandfather. And I was like, he's gonna be missed. This is a tough one. I'm gonna be at the all you can eat crab buffet if you need me. Morning. His loss.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What would you have done if they asked where they could send flowers?

[Big J Okerson]

I'll just give my home address.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Can't get flowers at your home for your grandpa's funeral.

[Big J Okerson]

Want to bet they don't know where we're burying my grandfather?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're burying him underneath your pavers.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, we're doing a cowboy funeral for my grandpa. No, but that was the worst. It was all weekend, everybody. It was like this amount of sympathy outpouring during that. Those three days I was on the boat was nut. And I like, terrible.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You ready to rock? Before we do that. Let's have a big moment of silence for Big J's grandfather.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, but more like, would you host bacon and bingo? We hate to ask this. I know you're going through. Forget I even asked. Sleep in. You're going through it. You got to go back there and face your grandmother, who also was dead. You have to go back and face your grandmother. And I was like, I know. She's in pieces right now about it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In pieces is a Papa Roach song.

[Big J Okerson]

Papa Roach was on the boat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know they were.

[Big J Okerson]

No, I know. That's why I was helping them laugh at your joke.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

This crowd is work sleepy. Told you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Double shift.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. These guys got to wake up and go work at warehouses tomorrow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's a house that turns into a wolf.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I'm going to be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, put it in the act. Tom. Alex, where her points at?

[Alex (Producer)]

In last place with four points, Bonnie McFarlane.

[Colum Turrell]

You haven't had a scoring.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, Voss left. He's ashamed of you.

[Alex (Producer)]

Tied for third place with six points each, Big J Okerson and Colm Turrell.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Wow.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Double points. I'm in it.

[Alex (Producer)]

In second place with seven points, Steve Ranazizi.

[Big J Okerson]

All you do is has to be in it.

[Alex (Producer)]

And in lead with eight points, Lewis J. Gomez.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I think Lewis has won. Every time I've been on, I've won.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I used to win almost every week and it's fallen off. I've only won like once or twice in the past couple months.

[Big J Okerson]

It's fixed.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah. Obviously there was this show and stuff.

[Colum Turrell]

He knows it's Jason.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Okay, it's Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

The fix is in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay, story warriors. You want to look good this summer season, and that's why you got to go to gld. They have fresh jewelry for everybody. They got chains, pendants, earrings, watches, real gold in every piece and handset stones. You could feel the difference. When you hold a GLD piece, I use the Cuban links. I have the Cuban link chain, which I wear anytime I want to go out and look cool. You saw me at the Kevin Hart roast with my Cuban link chain.

[Big J Okerson]

You and your somewhere together. I call you guys the Cuban links.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't want to look like the missing link. You want to look like a Cuban link. Like me and my boy join the

[Big J Okerson]

chain of Lewis and his son. And now you hold his son's hand on the other side, and so on and so forth. We're going to make an actual chain of people wearing chains from gld. A human chain of people wearing chains. Work hard, change the game. Yourself. They also have the custom shop. They have a GLD lifetime warranty. So you're going to have these pieces forever. They really care about their products. They care about the customers. Work hard, change the game. For a limited time, new customers are getting an insane deal from us. Use Code wars and right now you're gonna get 40% off. No. @gld.com when does that happen?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How do they make money?

[Big J Okerson]

When does that happen with jewelry at all? That's the. Well, they want, they want you to see that they're, they're worth, they're worth doing, they're worth getting. So many people get a little scared about jewelry from a company that's new, you know. But 40 off, they want to get it in your hands. You'll see how great it is and you'll be coming back for more. 40 with code WARZ with a Z W A r [e-mail] all right, story

[Lewis J. Gomez]

warriors, let's take a moment right now and thank Body Brain Coffee, which is the company that I started about a year ago that people absolutely love you. Nobody bring coffee at this point. It's Colombian freeze dried coffee with amazing adaptogens and nootropics that are blended in that will make you feel like the best version of yourself. Support your testosterone, support your mood and support your brain function. But I also want to talk right now about the brand new Body Brain creamer that just went into pre sale. We actually extended the presale until June. June 1, 11:59pm Eastern. You gotta get it by then to save 25% off. No promo code needed, nothing like that. It is. Dude, it tastes so good. It's dairy free, it's sugar free, it's keto, it's coconut milk powder based. But it's got C8MCT, it's got cordyceps, rhodiola, rosea, collagen, and a little bit of Ceylon cinnamon for flavor. It will make you feel so good. All the adaptogens stack perfectly with the Body Brain Coffee so you can get them both and have one complete cup of coffee. Jay, I know you hate taking 10, 15 pills a day especially because you usually shove the pills in your ass. I feel like it's a long process.

[Big J Okerson]

I do love stacking things though and cramming them up. My. So the fact that you added a second product to your repertoire really is good. And I'll tell you what, in about six months I think I'll be ready for whatever else you add to this company.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh yeah, we do have a sweetener coming on down the line. Your ass is going to be so sweet, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God, dude. Once you get the stir, though, I'm out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But once you get. If you've ever seen Jay taking his pills, I mean, literally putting his legs behind his head, shoving them in one by one. The angle's hard. It takes 15, 20, 20 minutes just to get all these pills in your ass. You don't need to do that, Jay. You can simply drink a couple.

[Big J Okerson]

Stop talking. Never stop talking while I'm doing it, though. I could have a full conversation with

[Lewis J. Gomez]

you while I'm doing the podcast.

[Big J Okerson]

Sometimes blasting my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Just go to bodybraincoffee.com right now. Check out our line of products. We just launched the creamer. It's shipping in mid June. Grab the coffee. Grab the creamer. You're not going to regret it. People absolutely love it. Bodybraincoffee.com and if you want to save on the coffee, use the promo code.

[Colum Turrell]

War.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

20 for 20 off. All right, where were we? Alex? Story number six.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number six. I had a roommate I hated, so a friend stood in front of their window in a mask and pulled out their junk. Cops were called, but no one was arrested, and the roommate moved.

[Big J Okerson]

Yo, Steve's never liked a roommate and he just tortured. Tortures them. He's pissing, he's fucking hanging dong in the window, yo. Yeah, and also, let me tell you something. Me and Lewis aren't pulling out our dicks because when you pull out your dick for comedy, you're only doing that if the comedy involves your pretty decent sized dick. And me and Lewis aren't pulling our dicks for comedy because we're getting the wrong reaction. They're laughing at us, not with us. Steve, you big dick son of a bitch.

[Steve Rannazisi]

What are you talking about? About.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, if I said, also, our dicks aren't even, like, funny. Our dicks are like. Everyone gets sad when they see our dicks.

[Big J Okerson]

No, they go, oh, you don't mean for me to see that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I saw it.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, the first one was like, oh, there was a guy in a mask with no penis. No, no, he had a penis. No, he didn't. I swear. I looked really hard.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, I zoomed in. I zoomed in. I ran right up to the window.

[Colum Turrell]

There was nothing there.

[Steve Rannazisi]

There was a spot. It was like a little tiny spot.

[Colum Turrell]

You had a mark where.

[Big J Okerson]

Right as easy hates his roommates, tortures them.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You're the one who's passive aggressive lying and you can't just tell people what you want.

[Colum Turrell]

Look.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, could have just asked your roommate to leave.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, me?

[Colum Turrell]

But it says a friend.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm not pulling out my dick.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, no, it's a friend pulled out. I know you to do it.

[Colum Turrell]

That junk too.

[Big J Okerson]

I have a lot of friends who would pull their dicks out. That's fair.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jodor, Rosa, Kurt Metzger.

[Big J Okerson]

For both. For different reasons.

[Colum Turrell]

Cups. What cup?

[Big J Okerson]

Ari. Ari would.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

In front of that window.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ari texted me today. It made me so happy. Ar's back.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's alive.

[Big J Okerson]

He's going to show you his dick soon.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He sent me. He sent me a. And I'll show to you. He sent me a picture. I'm not going to show you. You his dick, you psychos. He literally sent me this piece over there. Let me see, let me see.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, we can't show that, but I'll draw it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What? He goes, I don't have. I didn't have his new number. He goes, you wonder how I know your gang. Okay, because this gets you hard. And it's just a picture of a dude's. It'll be blurred.

[Big J Okerson]

He's not wrong.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I didn't know who it was. And I was like, how do they know? Oh, I love the smell of that hole.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis was certainly in panic, cuz. Now that sheds a little light on the fact you texted me and you go, is this number Ari's number?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I swear to God.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And he goes, oh, it was the only person I could think of that would send me something.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, God, I thought I was caught. Oh, what a relief. Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Steve vibes from this story. This is like college horseshit. You are. You are the. The consummate frat guy.

[Big J Okerson]

You hate your roommates and you like to piss and on their belongings.

[Colum Turrell]

Steve, is this you? Steve?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Why do you.

[Colum Turrell]

Steve. Yeah, Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

You need Bonnie. You wouldn't have done that if you just done the roommates I had. I wouldn't. All my roommates are people like, we know still.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's not.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Derosa was your roommate and then you got married.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve is my answer.

[Colum Turrell]

I'm going Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, stop it, column. Actually, I don't. I don't want you to win.

[Big J Okerson]

Put.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You already had two stories, right?

[Colum Turrell]

Well, I. I don't think I can win.

[Big J Okerson]

It doesn't matter.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, you can still win, right?

[Colum Turrell]

No, I'm going Lewis, but.

[Big J Okerson]

Because I can get odds.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yes.

[Colum Turrell]

This sounds like something Lewis said.

[Steve Rannazisi]

All right, I'm going to go Lewis too.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, you writing me down?

[Big J Okerson]

If it's Steve now, what a show.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Otherwise I don't want you to run away with this thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve, we get it. You could act. We get it. Go.

[Big J Okerson]

We were kidding. Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He spelled your name like column. Like a column.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Like I don't know how to spell his cuz.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm a.

[Colum Turrell]

A pillar of strength.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It is a pillar of the community. Column of pride.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Pill head of the community.

[Big J Okerson]

Irish Pride.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex Oliver. Answer are in.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, Bonnie.

[Alex (Producer)]

You story number six belongs to Bonnie.

[Big J Okerson]

No way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

A Bonnie just cleaned the up.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Started from the bottom. Now she's here.

[Colum Turrell]

Holy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I thought junk was going to give me away, but no, I guess that's you.

[Colum Turrell]

I thought junk was Lewis. Language.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So who. Who was this roommate?

[Colum Turrell]

What?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, it's a roommate. She was just like a roommate that I had that had a job and was so annoying and so. Of course.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you had your friend sexually assault her?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Medium friend. Wife stood out. Yes. She got scared. She was like losing her mind. She called the cops. It was crazy. I was sitting there like, oh, my God, what did he look like?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

And then she moved because it was a ground floor apartment. She was like, it was just too unsafe.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Who was the friend that did this?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It was like a comedian friend in Canada that I fucking hung out with.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Did you have to convince him like

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I believe he can?

[Colum Turrell]

Sick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was Jim Carrey.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Katherine o'. Hara. Eugene Levy. Can I say John Candy's voice?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And she. So she ended up moving. She did move because she was so terrified of the sexual assault that you perpetrated on her.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, it is a pervert.

[Big J Okerson]

One aggressive master.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I tried to talk him out.

[Big J Okerson]

Out of it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Now I'm starting to see how bad this story is. I.

[Colum Turrell]

This was back before the Me Too movement. This was a different time.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

The cops.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

No, it was a different time. It was the 90s girl.

[Steve Rannazisi]

When she was leaving, was she like looking at you like, why aren't you leaving? Like, like, did you. Were you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

No, we weren't friends. We weren't friends like that.

[Big J Okerson]

I guess. That guy thinks you're prettier.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why. Why did you hate her so much? What made her such an awful roomy?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Just, she was like, annoying, you know, she just wanted it to not be noisy when she was sleeping and, you know, not leaving wet towels on whatever. You know what I mean? It's just like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It sounds like you were a shitty roommate.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And then double down.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

She would get so mad. Yeah. It's crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

And then you Had a guy jerk

[Bonnie McFarlane]

off in front of her. He didn't jerk off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Question, Last question. I'll ask about this. Was he hard or soft?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I. I don't know. I didn't see. I mean, I wasn't there. It was outside her bedroom with window.

[Big J Okerson]

If it was soft. He has a big dick.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm gonna think about it for a minute.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

See, I don't want to, girl. I don't want people to see my hard or soft dick. It has to be in between. Then I'm like, look, it's soft, I swear.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. And then by the way, it's weird because it's almost hard size, but I can bend it all a thousand different ways. But then it just kind of gets hard in that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Six stories down. Alex, we're a points at.

[Big J Okerson]

I Am the Science.

[Alex (Producer)]

All right. Tied for fourth place with six points each, Big J. Okerson and Column Turl.

[Colum Turrell]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I get a lot of points.

[Alex (Producer)]

In third place with seven points, Steve Ranazizi.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, yeah. Wow. Feels good up there, huh?

[Alex (Producer)]

In second place with. With eight points, Lewis J. Gomez.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Wow.

[Alex (Producer)]

And in the lead with 12 points, Bonnie McFarland.

[Colum Turrell]

Wait.

[Big J Okerson]

A major point swing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You hear all the girls like girl power.

[Big J Okerson]

We did it yesterday because there's four girls in here.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Look around. It's like party of one. All these dudes just came in alone.

[Big J Okerson]

This is the first night most of these guys let him off that fucking furnace chain.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All the girls are wearing pink, so we know they're girls.

[Big J Okerson]

That major, major point swing is brought to you by, of course, double points.

[Colum Turrell]

Double. Wait, so double points is for whoever tells the story also?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

That's not fair. It should be just double points for your guesses because technically my stories could have been double points. It was just I got at the earlier start of the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Anybody can get double points.

[Colum Turrell]

But what if I don't have another story for the rest of the game?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, you're.

[Colum Turrell]

But then it's not fair.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that's all random, we always say.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, right?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

Nothing in this life is random.

[Big J Okerson]

Derek Behan won the show one time. Didn't have one story.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Didn't have a single story in it.

[Colum Turrell]

Her.

[Big J Okerson]

Right? That's what we said.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, did I? Did I. Am I playing a Where's the dumb Game? No, let's name some dumb. That I'm playing here tonight. No, I'm not playing that game. I'm playing Story Wars.

[Big J Okerson]

It gets in you, man. People want to win when they're here. You Know it.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You want that buck?

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah, give me that buck.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex. Story number seven. Yes,

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number seven. In high school I hated a girl that lived in my neighborhood simply because she was really ugly. We used to sing Man Eater by Hall and Oates to her when she walked by and she would cry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh my God.

[Colum Turrell]

What is.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

This is from Lewis's act. This is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Here's what I'll say. Hall and Oates is an old man reference.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, I do feel like that. Lewis, what's the song?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Big J or C. Oh, here she comes.

[Big J Okerson]

Watch out boy.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Can we hear a little bit of it like.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, Big J can't help himself. This is his story. And women from Philly are disgusting.

[Colum Turrell]

A name.

[Big J Okerson]

The woman is wild.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Woo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean it's got to be. It's got to be Big J or

[Big J Okerson]

Steve cuz you guys are now again it could. The last one was.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Could be us.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Could we call him because now he's

[Lewis J. Gomez]

getting all came out in 2012.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's the first English thing he learned out here. Man eater.

[Colum Turrell]

This is some young kids music.

[Steve Rannazisi]

She's a man eater. We.

[Colum Turrell]

My.

[Big J Okerson]

That's right. She was ugly. And we'd see man eat her at her. Oh she'd get so pissed off.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I don't know who this is. This is tough. This is a tough one. I mean it could be Bonnie too. Here's the thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie hates me, but it's not not me.

[Colum Turrell]

It could be.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree with the. The reference is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is I don't think Bonnie is that mean. But see what Bonnie did when she hated her roommate, she had a guy show up in the shadows. Bonnie's not going to sing Man Eater to an ugly girl walking down the street. That's crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

I changed my mind.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why do you think it's me?

[Big J Okerson]

Because you put Maneater by Hall and Oates in there to make people think it was me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That would be a good play.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I was going to say whoever put it was interested in music otherwise he'd just put the name Steve.

[Colum Turrell]

Steve hit the notes when if I

[Steve Rannazisi]

did a R, I could do the whole thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I wouldn't throw a reference this hard to. Here's the thing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The, the.

[Big J Okerson]

The song that it is and in the band isn't making it funnier. I wouldn't put in that detail because I think people would think it's me because I would say the band and the song. So this is Lewis trying to pretend to be me or is it you

[Bonnie McFarlane]

trying to let us seeing now?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I could be a double Flim Fl. Yeah, that's another.

[Colum Turrell]

I think it could be any one of you.

[Big J Okerson]

Four Double flim Flam. D, O, U, B, L, E. Flim flam.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Here's what I'm think what Jay is saying does make sense. I feel like just writing H notes would be a J reference.

[Big J Okerson]

Put Man Eater in quotes, blah, blah, blah. Go ahead, give your points so I can make you feel like an ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why don't you put it? Put it in. Put it in. Dumbass.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow. He sacrificed the point to fool the rest of you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is Big J or Steve. Unquestionably, they might not. I think it might be Steve because the only reason what Jay's saying does genuinely make sense, I don't. I think Jay writing whole notes would be such an obvious Big J thing. He references home oats maybe three times a day.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm from Philly. They're Philly legends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are they from Philly?

[Big J Okerson]

They were rival gang members.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That would also make sense if the girl like singing Man Eater to a girl from Almost. If they're from Philly to a girl in Philly is such a.

[Big J Okerson]

They hid from.

[Colum Turrell]

They only know two songs inside A, E, G, L, E, S. They hit

[Big J Okerson]

from the police after a gang fight together. Even though they were unrivaled gangs and realized that they harmonized like a son of a. That's the story I was always told about hall notes rival gang members.

[Colum Turrell]

I'm going. Gut instinct. I'm going, Steve.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve's doing a big thing, I imagine, right now.

[Colum Turrell]

And he's a high school.

[Big J Okerson]

Could be Steve. Could be Steve. My first guy was Steve. It wasn't me.

[Colum Turrell]

And you know this ugly bitch loved you too. You know that Steve Rannazzisi. He's gonna be famous and he won't fuck it up at all. You know Steve, Honest Ste. Steve, we call him. He always sings songs to me and serenades me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Honest Steve. Bonnie, you're being very quiet over there. What are you thinking right now?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, I was thinking that you wouldn't use the term simply because, you know, in high school, I hated a girl that lived in my neighborhood simply because.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, just because she was ugly, she was really unattractive. Steve, I'm feeling good.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Yeah, it's got to be Steve. Wait, audience. Who do you think I should put.

[Steve Rannazisi]

No, no, you can't pull them. They always say, it's me.

[Colum Turrell]

Phone a friend.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm allowed to do it. No one's ever said that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Steve or Big J. Me.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, you're breaking. You're Breaking on my stair.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your stare makes me wet, not me breaking. I'm getting horny right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Check. He's right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ew Y. I guess I'm gonna go. Steve Ranazizi. You're saying Jay, but I'm saying Steve.

[Big J Okerson]

But I know it's Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know nothing. You just. You wasted your vote, Alex. All of our answers do that now.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number seven belongs to Louis J. Cromz.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You called it, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You did.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You changed the word so that everyone

[Lewis J. Gomez]

thought I specifically wrote it in Jay's voice. I practiced this in my mirror simply

[Steve Rannazisi]

because when you said that, I go, that's Jay, dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That it was. I. I swear to God. You literally got me. Exactly. I was like, this is Jay. He would say, man, I knew it wasn't me.

[Big J Okerson]

So I go, agent Steve. This song works out. Me and Steve. And I go, oh, wait a sec.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

At the time, I don't even know if I really knew the song. The kids in my neighborhood, it's on Railroad Avenue. There's a girl named Tammy. And when I say ugly this.

[Big J Okerson]

How old were you?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, this was maybe ninth grade.

[Big J Okerson]

You didn't know Man Eater yet?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, dude, I'm younger than you.

[Big J Okerson]

We couldn't have been friends.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I. I mean, I maybe heard it perfectly, but the other kids were singing it to her and I was like, oh, this is a hilarious thing to sing at this ugly. And she'd walk down the street and we'd get off the bus. Be like, whoa, here she comes. Watch out, boy. She. She. She's like, stop believing me. Like, ah, she's crying. Oh, she's grosser when she cries. She was so ugly. I wish I could find her today because I want to see what type of sort of rhinoceros she turned into.

[Big J Okerson]

She was off years ago, Lois.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was now.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It's me, Lois.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's Bonnie.

[Big J Okerson]

That was Bonnie before she turned her life around. Before she gave her life to Christ and V. If.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you remember, if you.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I got braces. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you grow up on Railroad avenue in the 90s, you know this girl, cuz she was just. I so unfortunate looking. I've never. To this day, I've never seen an uglier human being in my entire life.

[Big J Okerson]

Ran for treasure.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If she was here now, I would sing Man Eater to her face.

[Big J Okerson]

She doesn't deserve your sympathy. She was that ugly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, she really was. And she. Her boyfriend brought it on her side. Her boyfriend was like a 30 year old black guy and she was like a 13 year old. Just disgusting. Fat white chick with pimples and a gnarled nose. Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

Did you see Three Point Shooters?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did you see Predator Badlands? Do you remember what the. The. The Kalisk ate for food? Whatever that giant beast was that he hunted, that he cut in half. That's what she looked like. Oh, nice.

[Colum Turrell]

Okay, go check out that movie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It was a great movie. It was way better than I thought it was going to be. I turned it on to go to sleep. I was enthralled. Alex, seven stories down, where are our points at?

[Alex (Producer)]

In last place with six points, Column turl.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'm not far behind.

[Colum Turrell]

Double points me.

[Alex (Producer)]

In fourth place with seven points, Steve ran is easy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve hasn't scored a point since the first half.

[Colum Turrell]

Neither am I.

[Alex (Producer)]

In third place with 10 points.

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, thanks for coming out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve's got a three hour drive home.

[Big J Okerson]

This guy does not know how to treat people.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I'll cry about it on the way home.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thanks.

[Big J Okerson]

I do the PR for the crew.

[Alex (Producer)]

In third place with 10 points, Big J Okerson.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Moving up. Moving up.

[Big J Okerson]

Still in. Still in.

[Alex (Producer)]

In second place with 12 points, Bonnie McFarlane.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Trying my best.

[Alex (Producer)]

And in the lead with 14 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This book is coming home to me, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Nah, we all want to bring this book home because of course it's tomorrow as yesterday, which places recent events, including the October 7th attacks, my daughter's birthday also, and the war in Gaza into a broad we were celebrating. What? She's Hispanic, so we do celebrate her birthday month. Into a broader historical context. The book argues that these moments are not isolated tragedies, but part of patterns that have repeated for decades. By examining the history, the politics and the emotions driving both sides, the authors explain why peace has proven so difficult and why the search for a solution continues. Look, everybody's the first guy that got beheaded by isis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tomorrow is yesterday. Everyone, we have one more story. Are you guys ready for your final story? Anybody's game. Truly at this point. Truly anybody's game. Everyone is still in it. Alex. Story number eight.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number eight. I drove directly towards a group of protesters who were about to block the tunnel because I wanted to go home.

[Big J Okerson]

There's a couple clues here, Steve. Well, everybody here.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Can't know. Everybody here can take a tunnel to go home from the city.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is there a tunnel to Long Island?

[Big J Okerson]

Yep.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that Midtown?

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's the Midtown tunnel.

[Big J Okerson]

Midtown Tunnel?

[Colum Turrell]

Really?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're gonna laugh at me, you pieces of.

[Steve Rannazisi]

It's a Midtown.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In my act yet.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, is that guy's right. There is no Tunnel, you dumb.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, yeah, there is a tunnel. The big town tunnel. You take it home. That's how I got home. It definitely could be me. It's not, but it definitely could be me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we all. We all live in Jersey. Steve lives along island. So everyone, yard.

[Colum Turrell]

Bonnie. Is Bonnie cruel enough to try commit murder?

[Big J Okerson]

Yes. Bonnie's my first instinct.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bonnie's my first instinct as well.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Canadian.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Come on.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

You're stuck in the car.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. No, we protest there. You know, these people. People are gathering. Idiots.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, if protesters blocked my car, I would take joy in running them over.

[Steve Rannazisi]

That's exactly.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I would run them over.

[Big J Okerson]

That is also the problem is everybody here would drive towards protesters aggressively. I would for sure. This is any.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a great. I pray for the day that protesters get in front of my car.

[Big J Okerson]

I wish this was me. I envy this person situation.

[Colum Turrell]

Lewis buckles up and goes, this is it.

[Big J Okerson]

We did it. Dude. I filming Louise. Nobody next to me. Let's do it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I turn up hauling oats.

[Big J Okerson]

You're all ugly. You're all ugly.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I gotta go. Bunch of man eaters out there. You babies.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, here she comes.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, here I come.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. I don't know. Bonnie. This is Bonnie's story. I feel like Bonnie, how is this not you?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, if they're protesters, I'm probably the only one on the right side.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That is true. Bonnie would be. Bonnie would get out of her car and be like, yeah, Trump.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. But these were. These were all live matters guys.

[Colum Turrell]

Wait, these are pro Palestinians.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I wish this was me. I really do. I've. I've. I've never. Yeah, this would be awesome.

[Colum Turrell]

This could be. Everyone definitely has Lewis written all over it.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, there's a lot of rage. Obviously you have road rage. We've. You've talked about it many times.

[Colum Turrell]

I feel like I've heard this from Lewis. Have I heard this from you?

[Big J Okerson]

Is this him?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Colm, when did you get a car?

[Colum Turrell]

My wife got a car.

[Big J Okerson]

Therefore you own half a car?

[Colum Turrell]

My wife. Wife owns a car that I drive. And honestly, this is like something I'd forget. I did, but it's not me.

[Big J Okerson]

This could be Lewis for sure. I think it is Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Really. I.

[Big J Okerson]

But I'm worried about the back to back story and playing the odds, but

[Colum Turrell]

that's not a thing.

[Big J Okerson]

It's also Bonnie.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So we can have back to back stories. You could have three stories in a game. You could have no stories in a game. What happens is we all submit three to five stories and then Alex puts them in a Random order generator. And then they all come out, however they come out.

[Colum Turrell]

And if you. And if your stories come up in the first half, you're. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

You understand?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, yeah.

[Colum Turrell]

We're all having fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't worry. Don't mind me.

[Big J Okerson]

Spawn.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, he's got the anger, you know, so I feel like that's fair.

[Colum Turrell]

This is not me. But I. I can't win. I don't think so. I don't circle of care.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But no, you can win. You. So if this is your story, nobody votes for you. You could tie for first place.

[Steve Rannazisi]

He'd be saying it's not him.

[Colum Turrell]

Oh, I can get it. Okay.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Only if no one votes.

[Colum Turrell]

But it's not my story. So I can't win

[Lewis J. Gomez]

now.

[Big J Okerson]

I think so.

[Colum Turrell]

I guess I can't win. So now how do I use my.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, we gotta figure out who it is.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Well, you gotta tell me

[Colum Turrell]

if I knew how to. It's not like Jay, you're. It's not me.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I think it could be column.

[Colum Turrell]

I know there's no point in going for me. Just I. I'm. I'm. Swear to God, I'm trying to help you. I swear I'm trying to help.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I didn't think it was you, but now I do. Why do I do now? Is this bad?

[Colum Turrell]

Who could it be? I'm going Louis again.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Steve's only had one story. I hate to do that because it really doesn't matter.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You had back to back. But I hunted believe it's you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But I know I didn't have back to backs. I had one in the first half, one in the second.

[Colum Turrell]

Do you want to win this or not?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Bonnie's saying, I know. Like, it doesn't seem like Bonnie. Because she would be like, yeah, you go, girls. But I. I feel like. I feel like if Bonnie wanted to just get home, she would like straight over them.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

We would all do it. That's the problem to say, is it not? Yes, you're correct. I would do it.

[Steve Rannazisi]

We are all capable of.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Whether I was on the right side or not. I'd be like, I get out here. Oh, but I forgot he's Midtown tunnel doesn't have the.

[Big J Okerson]

We'll get your abortions tomorrow. But mama got to get home.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I know. So I send some money somewhere going through.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I really want to win.

[Big J Okerson]

Me too.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Steve. It's not Steve. Can I take change mine.

[Steve Rannazisi]

I don't want you to win.

[Colum Turrell]

Lewis is going to win if you don't. If you let that go. Lewis is going to win.

[Big J Okerson]

It could be Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I'm not allowed to change my.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Idiots. Idiots. Fools. Fools.

[Colum Turrell]

Jay. Jay. You're crazy. You're crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

J. I see him unraveling.

[Colum Turrell]

Dude, Dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, no. I'm going to win anyway because it's Steve and no.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Cuz the only way column can win is if no one votes for him. So that's what he's doing.

[Colum Turrell]

No, no, you've got to vote for him.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

You got to go back to voting for him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You have Tom would tie if nobody votes.

[Colum Turrell]

Keep your trap shut, Bonnie.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

See, see, see, see.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Hold on, hold on. My inst.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

It is Gollum.

[Big J Okerson]

You.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Well, why did you vote for me?

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Shut the up. I didn't figure it out in time.

[Colum Turrell]

Bye bye.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

I want to change mine. Am I allowed?

[Colum Turrell]

O.

[Big J Okerson]

Wow, wow, wow.

[Colum Turrell]

You don't know. You don't know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know. It's Bonnie or it's Bonnie or Steve.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Oh, dude. Please don't vote for me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm telling you right now, you're gonna it up. Why?

[Colum Turrell]

Why would Jay flip up like that?

[Steve Rannazisi]

Well, we all have.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna go with my first instinct. I think Bonnie is a secret psycho.

[Colum Turrell]

Right? You could be right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My vote is for Bonnie McFarlane.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Wait, can Bonnie change hers? Please Let Bonnie change hers.

[Big J Okerson]

Please.

[Steve Rannazisi]

She wants to. She said it. It's consent.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of her answers are in Bonnie.

[Steve Rannazisi]

You, me.

[Alex (Producer)]

Story number eight belongs to Steve. Ra.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fuck me. All right, Steve, before we get to the official points, I think I know who won. But Steve, tell us this story.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, so literally it was one of those fucking Trump fucked up and everyone hated it. I was literally coming from the stand, going towards the midtown tunnel and I saw them crossing and I was just like, no fucking way. And I went. And there were cops everywhere. Cops everywhere. But the cops hated the protesters, so they didn't even fucking stop me. They let me zigzag around them and the protesters 100% thought I was going to stop. But I went so fast right around them because I knew it. I go, if I stop, they're going to come across, it's a whole and I'm fucked. So I go, this is my only chance. And I went right around them.

[Colum Turrell]

Wow.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Yeah, dude. Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I appreciate Steve Ranazizi. Great story. Alex, make it official. What is our final score?

[Alex (Producer)]

In last place with another single digit score of 6 points column turl.

[Steve Rannazisi]

Hey, trust your gun. Trust your gun. Trust your gun.

[Colum Turrell]

Yeah.

[Alex (Producer)]

In fourth place with 10 points, Big J Okerson. In third place with 13 points, Steve Ranazizi. Second place, place, scored 14 points. And your winner tonight with 16 points, Bonnie McFarland.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonnie, you are taking home this week's prize. Tomorrow was yesterday. Life, death in the pursuit of peace in Israel.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Speech.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Speech. Speech.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Speech.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thank you. Oh, my God. When I came here tonight, I was like, ooh, hate, yuck. But now I'm like, I love it. Thank you, guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Bonn, you now have the ability to trigger the most fun thing in podcasting if you'd like to give it a shot.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Right? I get to say it.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Double points.

[Big J Okerson]

That's forever. That's forever privilege.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a show. Did you guys have fun tonight?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, I'm so sorry. You're going to be sleepy at work tomorrow, you homos. How about if one more time for our panel, the great Steve Razesi, Kyle Oterell, your newest story warrior, Bonnie McFarland.

[Bonnie McFarlane]

Thank you.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you guys so much for checking us out. Story wars. Thank you so much to the dojo of comedy. Make sure you check him out. Here in Morris Plains, New Jersey, I'm Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm Lewis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Until next time, PE.

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