096. Aaron Berg, Brendan Sagalow, Nina Kharoufeh | Big Things

Summary

Story Warz – Episode 096: “Big Things”

GaS Digital Network | June 5, 2026
Hosts: Big Jay Oakerson & Luis J. Gomez
Guests: Aaron Berg, Brendan Sagalo, Nina Karoufeh
Live from The Stand Comedy Club, NYC

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Episode Overview

This uproarious episode of Story Warz puts comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez back in the Game of Deceptive Storytelling with special guests Aaron Berg, Brendan Sagalo, and Nina Karoufeh. The theme for the night is “Big Things,” sparking wild tales, comic banter, and a lively audience at the New York Comedy Club. With each round, the comedians share (or try to disguise) outrageous stories involving “big” events, objects, embarrassments, or moments, while the others try to deduce the true storytellers.

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Key Discussion Points and Highlights

1. Introduction to Story Warz (02:05-06:55)

• Format & Rules: Each panelist submits stories about "big things." Stories are read anonymously; panelists aim to convince others they didn’t write their story, or correctly identify whose story it is. Points awarded for deception and detection.
• Prize: The winner takes home the provocative book White Fear: How the Browning of America is Making White Folks Lose Their Mind by Roland S. Martin, leading to ongoing tongue-in-cheek debate about who desires or already owns extra copies.
    Aaron: “What are you doing with a surplus of that? Put it under a coffee table, fix a table leg…” (08:45)

2. Banter and Setting the Tone (02:15-03:14)

• The comics roast each other and play off the audience, establishing the insult-comedy energy of the show.
• Luis welcomes guests:
    Luis: “We got hot chicks showing up, now we got a guy with a mullet. We got a couple lesbians. It’s pretty hot.” (02:26)

3. Guest Introductions & Friendly Roasting (03:14-05:51)

• Each guest’s record on Story Warz is humorously cited.
• Nina ribbed for "obviously" autobiographical stories last time.
    Nina: “Sorry, I’m a bad bitch and it’s obvious.” (03:54)
• Brendan called out for never having won:
    Luis: “We can’t have such a big loser on the show.” (04:38)
• Aaron’s attire and bodybuilding plug lead to group jokes.

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Notable Stories, Guesses & Panel Chemistry

1. Story #1 – “Knocked Out by a Door at a Big Party” (09:30-17:02)

• Story: Knocked out at a “big party” and needed emergency dental work.
• Panel Deduction: Wild speculation about dental histories and ‘loser vibes’ ("Big party seems foreign" – Brendan, 14:47).
• Reveal: The story is Nina’s.
    Nina: “I went to a party at the king of Bahrain’s house… bumped into a door, knocked myself out… Flown to Africa to fix my teeth.” (17:20)
• Memorable Moment:
    Luis: “Adore was a person’s name.”
    Nina: “No, it was just a door.”* (17:26-17:27)

2. Story #2 – “Most Comfortable When Dumping with Only a Door Between Us” (20:41-25:58)

• Story: The storyteller knows someone loves them if they feel comfortable pooping with only a door separating them.
• Panel Deduction: Jokes about shame and relationships; panel narrows it to Jay or Brendan based on “shame” and “fat, insecure guy move.”
• Reveal: It’s Big Jay’s story.
    Big Jay: “I have to be with somebody for quite some time before I will even shit… in a hotel room, I’ll go to the bathroom. You sit out here.” (25:08)

3. Story #3 – “Smoked Weed on a Plane, Got Caught” (31:58-37:43)

• Story: Smoked weed in the airplane restroom when anxious. Got caught by a flight attendant.
• Panel Deduction: Speculation between Luis, Brennan, Aaron, and Nina’s “crazy life” (“This could have been a long time ago. You’re Jewish, so you’re super entitled.” – Nina, 34:14).
• Reveal: It’s Nina again.
    Nina: “I was smoking a vape in the bathroom, blowing the smoke into the toilet and flushing. Got away for four hits, the lady knocked after the fifth… I said, ‘No, I swear, I’m Muslim.’ He said, ‘Have a nice day.’” (37:14)

4. Story #4 – "Hooked Up with a Person with a Big Third Nipple" (41:23-48:47)

• Story: Hooked up with someone whose third nipple was bigger than the original two.
• Panel Deduction: Tangents on nipple stats, third nipples in the audience, and Aaron’s wild past.
• Reveal: It’s Luis.
    Luis: “I’ve hooked up with two girls with three nipples. One girl’s third nipple was much bigger, it was right here on her back.” (47:05)

5. Story #5 – “Ladder Accident at My Birthday Party” (57:26-64:13)

• Story: Invited the bullied new kid to my birthday party; a metal ladder fell, gashed his back, and he had to go home.
• Panel Deduction: Jokes about bullying, privilege, and childhood trauma; panel splits between Aaron and Brendan.
• Reveal: It’s Brendan.   Brendan: “Had an above-ground pool with a ladder… invited bullied kid Jason, ladder unhooked and fell on him, huge cut. He went home and never returned.” (62:43)

6. Story #6 – “Drunk Pizza Disaster” (67:34-71:11)

• Story: Got drunk, left an extra large pizza in the oven overnight at 450°; survived but the pizza was ruined.
• Panel Deduction: Speculation about who would forget pizza; fat jokes abound.
• Reveal: It’s Aaron.   Aaron: “I had a extra large pizza… put it in stove, fell asleep on a futon, woke up in the morning—burnt to a crisp, could have burnt down apartment.” (71:29)

7. Story #7 – “Snuck Back Into Big Music Festival” (76:12-84:55)

• Story: Ejected from a festival, snuck back under a perimeter fence.
• Panel Deduction: Who could fit under a fence? (Fat jokes, punk rock pasts debated.)
• Reveal: It’s Luis.
    Luis: “Oz Fest 98. Limp Bizkit playing… I stole Fred Durst’s red hat, tackled, thrown out. Had never seen System of a Down or Incubus… found a fence with 3ft of clearance, crawled back in.” (82:49-83:50)

8. Story #8 – "Graduation Thunderstorm and Unexpected Uncle Kiss" (86:45-95:20)

• Story: High school graduation outside. Storm struck, chaos in the field, elderly family lifted over a fence, uncle kissed me on the mouth.
• Panel Deduction: Jokes about family, heritage, trauma, and uncles, with wild speculation about who was actually molested (in jest).
• Reveal: It’s Big Jay.   Jay: “My uncle—my dad’s stepbrother, one of my closest uncles—ran up, made a scene, called me ‘Jew boy,’ then started kissing me on the mouth. Also, huge thunderstorm, we literally had to pass my grandmother over the fence.” (94:30-95:20)

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Notable Quotes & Classic Moments

Luis J. Gomez, on dental work:
 “Until three years ago, I couldn’t afford emergency dental work.” (10:18)

Big Jay, on poop comfort:
 “I have to be with somebody for quite some time before I will even shit [with them nearby]…” (25:08)

Nina, on getting caught vaping:
 “She was like, ‘Were you smoking?’ I said, ‘No, sir. I swear, I’m Muslim.’” (37:21)

Aaron Berg, on pizza:
 “I woke up the next morning and the pizza was burnt to a crisp. I thought I would have burnt the whole apartment down.” (71:39)

Brendan, on bullied-party mishap:
 “The pool had a ladder… the bullied kid Jason [got gashed]. He went home and he never returned.” (63:26)

Nina, on three nipples:
 “Leave my tits and normal two nipples out of this.” (50:25)

On audience interaction:
 Lewis: “Let’s see two more guys. Let’s see—so you say you’re gonna show my third nipple. You have to show all three nipples.” (43:24)

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Scoreboard & Final Results ([throughout, 97:01])

• Lead changes frequently, with double points in the last half.
• Winner: Big Jay Okerson (19 points)
• Runner-up: Nina Karoufeh (17 points)
• Others: Brendan Sagalo (12), Aaron Berg (8)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:05] Show begins, rules and audience hype
• [09:30] Story #1 – “Knocked Out by Door”
• [20:41] Story #2 – “Dump Comfort”
• [31:58] Story #3 – “Weed on a Plane”
• [41:23] Story #4 – “Third Nipple”
• [57:26] Story #5 – “Ladder Injury Party”
• [67:34] Story #6 – “Drunk Pizza”
• [76:12] Story #7 – “Music Festival Break-In”
• [86:45] Story #8 – “Graduation, Chaos, Uncle Kiss”
• [97:01] Winner announced, celebratory outro

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Tone & Language

High-energy, wildly irreverent, packed with inside jokes and aggressive (but affectionate) roasting. The comics riff on each other's behaviors, histories, bodies, and heritages, keeping the room lively and the audience engaged.

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Useful For:

• Anyone who missed the episode and wants a full sense of the stories, interplay, and twists.
• Listeners interested in comedic storytelling games and roast comedy.
• Fans tracking Story Warz points, story winners, and infamous moments.

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Catch Story Warz live at New York Comedy Club every week, or listen ad-free and uncensored on GaS Digital Network!

Transcript

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[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, Story warriors, before we start the show, you should come and see me and Big J on the road. First of all, we just added a second show for Mohican. Sun Comics. Roadhouse sold out the first one in just a couple hours. So we added a second show at 10pm get those tickets right now because those are going to also sell out. Completely separate lineup. So it's two shows that night, two different lineups. Story wars is coming to Connecticut, Mohegan, sun, and also come see me on the road. Go to louisofscanks.com to grab your tickets. This weekend I'll be in Springfield, Missouri, Tulsa, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City. The week after I'm going to be in Chicago and at Rosemont and then I'm in La Jolla right after that. Get those tickets [e-mail] you can catch

[Big J Okerson]

me on the road on the greatest.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

For a live tour happening right now. This weekend, I'm Spokane, Washington, two theaters coming up June 12th and 13th. The 12th I'll be in Minneapolis at the Pantages Theater. And then the 13th I'll be in Boise, Idaho at the Egyptian Theater. My first two theaters I've really done. So let's fill those things up. Beyond that, Buffalo, helium and so much more, look for a city near you. BigJComedy.com Fill her up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network. Ladies and gentlemen, it's story wars with the story warriors, big j okerson and lewis j.

[Aaron Berg]

Whoa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What is up, New York City? Make some noise in here, please, would you?

[Luis J. Gomez]

What an excit. We are sold out yet again here at the New York Comedy Club. If you guys want to be a part of history, come to the New York Comedy Club in Midtown. Every Wednesday night, 7:45pm we have we tape live. You get to be a part of the audience. How excited is everyone to be here?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right?

[Luis J. Gomez]

We're all excited. Look at this. We got hot chicks showing up. Now we got a guy with a mullet. We got a couple lesbians. It's pretty Hot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. You brought your son on a very tit heavy evening.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I did.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ooh la la.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Baby James is excited.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How many people I love calling him Baby James. Still Baby James. Look at this girl's cans.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's six feet tall. He's got a bigger dick than me. I hate baby James.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Actually, yeah, Baby James did somehow become your biggest enem. He's coming to take your place in the world. We always ask this, how many people here are familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Luis J. Gomez]

And who is not familiar with the game Story Wars?

[Aaron Berg]

Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're not booing anybody. Nobody claps.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They loved booing, though.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They loved the boo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

God bless them, they loved the boo. If you're unfamiliar with the game, it's a very easy one. We'll explain it once we get our amazing panel of guests up here. Our first contestant with a record of 01 on Story wars, you know her from the Friendly Talk podcast. She's also an accomplished amateur boxer. Make some noise for the lovely and hilarious Nina Karufa.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hi, how are you?

[Big J Okerson]

Welcome back.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you. Thank you for having me.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We're so happy to have you here. Nina, last time you did a great job in the show, but you're the stories were very obvious. Obviously your stories.

[Nina Karufa]

Last time, sorry, I'm a bad bitch and it's obvious.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was like one time somebody threw a grenade at my birthday party.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's like, okay, Samina, obviously my botch quit circumcision.

[Nina Karufa]

That never happened.

[Aaron Berg]

I know.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Our next competitor, 03 in Story Awards competition, this guy cannot catch a win. From Sag Daddy to Pod and Fart Carnival right here on the GAS Digital Network. Put your hands together for Brendan Sagalo.

[Nina Karufa]

What's up,

[Luis J. Gomez]

Brandon? We're happy to have you back on the show. This might be your last appearance on the show.

[Nina Karufa]

Why?

[Luis J. Gomez]

We can't have such a big loser on the show. This is crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're making people think the game's impossible.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, I didn't know I was gonna

[Lewis J. Gomez]

come here to get berated. Oh, no.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm gonna win this one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Our third and final contestant, last but not least, with a record of one and two, he is a story warrior from modern day man show, the Badass Jews podcast and Gas Digital Zone, the SDR show. How about it for the hilarious Aaron Burke?

[Aaron Berg]

Fuck yeah, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Aaron, I want to see the elementary schooler you stole that outfit from.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He was big. You want to let him heal up

[Aaron Berg]

first before you see him two sizes bigger than me. He was a medium.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's a big boy.

[Aaron Berg]

He Was a big boy. This Nebia Tracksuit. They are the sponsor of Mr. Olympia.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Aaron Berg]

It's a bodybuilding contest. Do you guys like bodybuilding? He doesn't. But

[Luis J. Gomez]

nobody likes bodybuilding.

[Aaron Berg]

Fuck yeah, they do. Who here works out?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everybody here trains by day, Joe Rogan's by night.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All night.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Everyone does that here. If you're unfamiliar with the game or if it's your first time listening at home, it's a very simple game. All five of us on this panel have submitted.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Are things different now?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh. Everybody on this panel, including Lewis Knives, submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, no. That's right. That's what you meant. Yeah. I can't write it down. All right. No. Tonight's subject is big things.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't like that these two generations of women both nodded at that. Yeah. Yeah, it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I like big things. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They knuckle pounded. Alex is gonna take. I was so weird. Alex is gonna take those stories, eight of them, in fact, and read them off at random, one at a time. They will appear here on the screen. And if it's your story, you're the only person who knows that it's your job to make people think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Every time you guess the story correctly, you get two points. Every time you fool a person on the panel, you get one point. So if it's your story that shows up, that's a huge opportunity. You can get four points. If it is your story, you don't want to waste that opportunity. Once you put your answer in the Story wars tablet, which is a brand new thing we have right now.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hey.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Put the tablet in the slot and remove your hand until we are growing. Fuck you, Kiltoni, Kentucky. Once you remove your hand, that is your final answer. You cannot change your answer. And I'll tell you right now, listen to me. We are going to have so much fun tonight. You guys know the show. We all know the show. It is a lot of fun, but we are not playing for fun. Jay, let them know what we're playing for today.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know anything about how to work these taps.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, no, it's okay. Hit the name and slide it. You're good. It'll come up.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Don't worry.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Leave it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You'll hit the name. You'll slide it over.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Every week at Story Wars. We are playing for a book from the Story Wars Library. Tonight's winner takes home White Fear. How the Browning of America Is Making White Folks Lose Their Mind by Roland S. Martin.

[Luis J. Gomez]

As we this Nazi author.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

As we all know, for centuries there has been a deep seated fear that many white people feel they're losing power. They're losing economic standing. Some would even say even losing a particular way of life. Author Roland S. Martin argues that this fear doesn't just influence the system, it drives it, shaping who holds power and how far they'll go to keep it. White Fear how the Branding of America Is Making White Folks Lose Their Minds by Rollus Martin. Someone gets to take that.

[Aaron Berg]

Quick question.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes?

[Aaron Berg]

What if we already have four copies of this book?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Then I guess you could throw it to the audience. Then what are you doing with a surplus of White Fear? How the Browning of America Is Making White Folks Lose Their Minds by Roland S. Martin. What are you gonna do with a surplus of that? Put it under a coffee table. Fits a table leg.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Aaron's. Aaron's pen name is Roland S. Morton.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's his Samuel Clemens. All right. I think everybody who's gonna get it, gets it. If not, you'll pick it up along the way. But is this crowd ready for war?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Come on, New York City. Are you ready for war?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ga ga, ga, ga ga, ga ga. Without any further ado. Alex, please. Story number one.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number one. I was at a big party and I bumped into a door so hard that I knocked myself out. I needed emergency dental work.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I already think I know who this is.

[Nina Karufa]

Who?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Lewis.

[Nina Karufa]

I was gonna say the same thing.

[Aaron Berg]

Why?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Cause they have such a beautiful smile.

[Nina Karufa]

Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No.

[Nina Karufa]

Oh, no, Nevermind.

[Aaron Berg]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because you refer to it as a big party and I feel like that's such a loser thing to do. I was at this big party and there were so many cool people.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You think I'm a loser.

[Nina Karufa]

You give loser vibes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Loser vibes. I'm super cool.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, now I think you're cool. But I think maybe back then when you were, you could have been a loser. And this could have happened anytime.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And I gotta tell you right now, until three years ago, I couldn't afford emergency dental work.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah, yeah. And I will say this.

[Nina Karufa]

I mean, you look dumb enough to bump into a door.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Here's the thing. Here's the thing. She has got you dead to rights, I gotta say. Aaron Berg used to be a male stripper. And I assume to the kind of drugs you have to do to flying 69 with those morbidly obese Canadian women. Must have been a lot. And I can see you meeting maybe some emergency dental work from how fucked up you are at those parties, but this sounds like it could be to me. The fucking hottie in the hijabi. Nina Karufa.

[Nina Karufa]

Why would you think that?

[Aaron Berg]

The halal cart that refuses to fart. That's who she is.

[Nina Karufa]

No, why would it be me? That's crazy. Do I look a bitch who bumps into doors?

[Aaron Berg]

No, she has glasses on. Very good vision. She would not bump into a door. And also probably not allowed at a party. Thank you.

[Nina Karufa]

My dad would have killed me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What kind of party? She has great teeth.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have great teeth, but everybody knows when I got mine, it wasn't from emergency dental surgery.

[Nina Karufa]

When did you get your teeth done?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

When I. In my late 40s. When I could afford it. After I stopped going to big parties.

[Aaron Berg]

I will say this. Brendan, since this question has come up, is very consciously covering his mouth, like, keeping his lips very pursed.

[Brendan Sagalo]

My teeth fucking suck, bro. I'll show that to everybody. Ew. Yeah, so it ain't me, dog.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That seem like a crazy reaction everyone just had. They seem like nice teeth.

[Aaron Berg]

Let me see. Get closer. They're all yellow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They are tiny little teeth.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

The rich Jew obviously could afford emergency gentle word.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Let me see your teeth. Oh, just come. Okay.

[Aaron Berg]

Just dribbles down the side.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It's just covered in semen.

[Aaron Berg]

I didn't know the show was starting this early.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It looks like your teeth is melting.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Emergency dental work. I mean, I'm getting. Honestly, I'm getting Big J vibes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, you look. You were married. She had insurance the whole time?

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not at all. Never. Never once. Does she have insurance. No.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's right. She was a comedy club waitress.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She was a comedy club waitress and then not lawyer.

[Aaron Berg]

Have you been injured? Call a different lawyer. I'm gonna say this. Louis I know has had dental work because, full disclosure, he used to have a dead brown tooth that would make him smell like Chinatown in summer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He just painted that. It's still there.

[Aaron Berg]

I know Louis did that, but, Jay, I don't know much about Nina. I know she has a very charming online presence.

[Nina Karufa]

Are you being sarcastic, you piece of shit?

[Aaron Berg]

I've never. I don't even know. I've never checked.

[Nina Karufa]

I did assume he was being sarcastic, so that shows you what kind of person I am.

[Aaron Berg]

Oh, boy, here we go.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I would say emphasis on wars. Am I right, you guys?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Are you guys ready for war? Because we know about Nina and Aronar. Yay.

[Aaron Berg]

This is a really difficult one. This is very hard to. They have fake teeth. He has fake teeth. Can I see your smile, though? Those are fucking nice.

[Nina Karufa]

So much.

[Aaron Berg]

All original.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, they are too. They're cut too perfectly. Fudge, you okay? I said they're nice.

[Nina Karufa]

You said they're cut too perfectly, which was kind of naggy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hey, don't take your anger for Aaron out on me, okay?

[Aaron Berg]

I'm. We're.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm only half getting along great.

[Nina Karufa]

Why did you put me on this panel?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you are the Gaza Strip in this situation.

[Aaron Berg]

I really am much bigger than I imagine.

[Nina Karufa]

Why are you always coming for me, Jay? Jay votes me in every fucking story, I swear.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I think this is you. I don't have much of a thing, but by the way, can I say, the tablet so far, flawless.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Flawless.

[Aaron Berg]

So big.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Big Party is the kind of thing that's getting me up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Big party.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Big J does all. His name is Big J. He does big things. You think he went to a big.

[Brendan Sagalo]

An only big person party. He went a big party.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big papa, big pun. And I'll tell you what the problem was in this place. Little doorways.

[Aaron Berg]

I ate two big sandwiches, some big sushi, teeny tiny.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, fuck, it's Louis.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Big J is locked in right there. And then Nina Karufa votes for Aaron Berg. But it's a little off center.

[Nina Karufa]

Come on.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I know, I know. At first I thought it was Lewis because Big Party seemed lame. But now I think it's Nina because Big Party seems foreign.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Vanna White, huh?

[Nina Karufa]

Why do you assume I'm foreign?

[Aaron Berg]

I went to Big Party. Everybody was there, had so much fun.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, that is kind of what I'm thinking.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. Let me see your teeth again.

[Aaron Berg]

She has very good. I mean, those are great.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Smile.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Holy.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fantastic.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I gotta say you, because I imagine

[Luis J. Gomez]

how much we're talking about your tits behind your back.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I hope the next one's about tits. I go, it's gotta be Nina.

[Nina Karufa]

You guys, leave my tits out of

[Brendan Sagalo]

this and into this. Okay, Nina, it's you.

[Nina Karufa]

I don't fuck with white people.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Lock it in. Lock it in. You gotta slide it to. Lock it in.

[Aaron Berg]

Slide it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What?

[Aaron Berg]

Okay, I may. That's mine.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, sorry.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This first round is a little bit longer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She really is Jewish, you guys.

[Aaron Berg]

That's mine.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's mine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't get to touch that.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You didn't pay for that.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm glad he said it, not me.

[Aaron Berg]

You have so many Fucking chins. It's so gr.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Vanna, if you would, please.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What am I?

[Nina Karufa]

What?

[Aaron Berg]

I love this.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Why do I keep fucking up?

[Aaron Berg]

Here's my thoughts. I took a guess, but I think I'm wrong. I think Big J and Lewis both, like, outwardly lie about who it is, but I went with Nina just because her teeth are so nice. And she's really charming to meet in person. And it's a pleasure.

[Nina Karufa]

What do you have against my social media? That's. The second you said in person.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think we're really seeing the problem. You know what I mean?

[Aaron Berg]

Earlier you said, I think this is

[Brendan Sagalo]

a lot to do with what's going

[Aaron Berg]

on that their fans hate. And I said, it's online, it's not in person. It's.

[Nina Karufa]

I don't believe you for one second.

[Aaron Berg]

I'm sure you don't.

[Nina Karufa]

Can you blame me?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Look, there's good people on both sides.

[Nina Karufa]

It's not me. Guys.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of her answers are in.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number one belongs to Nina Karish.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Fuck yeah, dude. Come on over here. Come on. Come on. Your fucking teeth are amazing.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, they're good teeth.

[Nina Karufa]

They're my second set because I went to a party in Bahrain and I really bumped in.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wait, how many syllables are in that word?

[Nina Karufa]

Bahrain.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's what that meant. Bahrain party.

[Nina Karufa]

I went to a party at the king of Bahrain's house.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa.

[Nina Karufa]

And I bumped into a door and I knocked myself out.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Adore was a person's name.

[Nina Karufa]

No, it was just a door.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Yeah. My name is Ador Mohammed Kaliha.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

How were you ever at a king of anywhere's house? And also here.

[Nina Karufa]

And then I got flown to Africa to fix my teeth.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No shit.

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's cool.

[Nina Karufa]

So these are my second set.

[Aaron Berg]

How did you get to King's party? How'd that happen?

[Nina Karufa]

Because I know people who know people.

[Brendan Sagalo]

In a shipping container?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What, do you not watch the Wire?

[Nina Karufa]

Epstein Island.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where is my wife?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, her teeth are all up.

[Nina Karufa]

Send her off. That's basically what happened.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's so cool.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Send her to Africa.

[Aaron Berg]

I have one.

[Nina Karufa]

I went to North Africa and I saw a dentist the next morning.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

In North Africa?

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah, in Morocco. In Marrakesh.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Fix her teeth? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

No, I got my. I got my.

[Aaron Berg]

All of them. The whole.

[Nina Karufa]

It was really bad. I knocked, I got. I hit the door. Real.

[Aaron Berg]

And now they're good forever. Okay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You gotta use local anesthetic. They can't put you under it. They're gonna wake up with a plate in your lip.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Well, they.

[Aaron Berg]

Well, they.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They had a. They had a. They had to use anesthetic by blow dart.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You woke up and Your neck was 2ft long with a thousand gold necklaces on it.

[Nina Karufa]

Nah, I was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I needed new teeth. I woke up dalsome.

[Nina Karufa]

N. I woke up circumcised.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex, where our points at? Story one. Yes.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you. Thank you, late bloomer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

As long as I get it eventually.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

All right. In last place with zero points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, they were saying, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're going, boo, boo, boo, boo.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In fourth place with one point, Nina Karufa. And tied for first place with two points each, Big J Okerson, Brendan Sagalo, and Aaron Bird.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This is cool.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Louis, do you see that girl's nails right there?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yes. I'm looking right at her nails. Jerry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do you feel I'm. It would be upsetting if she gave us hand jobs and all we hear is the clicking of her nails touching each other because our penises aren't big enough to keep them apart.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, that would be a huge penis to keep them apart. I feel like her nails would touch for any penis, no matter what.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So just non stop clicking. Yeah, it's gonna sound like she's bored. Like she's doing this while she's whacking me off.

[Nina Karufa]

Imagine getting fingered by one of those.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I did.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's what gave me the power to

[Aaron Berg]

guess right by one of those. What a prude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. No, you gotta get two so it makes a semicircle so it opens the hole easier. That's just basic physics.

[Nina Karufa]

This bitch is giving hysterectomies.

[Aaron Berg]

J. Yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

Wood.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, totally.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

While the lady next to her draws it.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah. Like we're her French girls.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Like one of her French girls.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex. Story number two.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number two. The biggest sign that I'm comfortable that someone I'm dating is fully into me is when I take a dump with only a door separating us.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is. Well, I mean, that's true. I've never taken a dump with any woman that I've ever dated, ever. Like, I've never. Like, I'll leave the house. Like, I'm not. I'm not. Luckily, I have three bathrooms, Buddies.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I lobby and a hotel shift.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

To not do this, to not do that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't. I don't know what it is. I don't want a woman smelling my. It bugs me. And if. Girl. And of course. Thank you, sir. We want you to be a part of the show. I Just want you to know, sir, if you could just keep on calling things out throughout the whole show, we

[Aaron Berg]

would all love that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That'd be pretty, dude. I gave him a piece of paper outside. I said, girls don't poop. Pick your moment. Pick your moment, I said.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, I would say this is kind of a woman's story, but I live this life. I also. But I wouldn't get comfortable there.

[Nina Karufa]

Women don't shit.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They do, but I don't think this is a woman's story either. I don't think one gets comfortable and goes, I'm gonna start shitting around you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No. I've dated a couple gals who have Karen Feehan, Kim Kong. And both of them are like, I got a shit. Let me fart with you pigs.

[Nina Karufa]

You sure know how to pig.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why am I in a fucking hotel lobby taking a dump, then?

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is a fat, insecure guy move. So it's me, Brendan or Big J. That is it. Guys that have muscles, they'll shit anywhere they want.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Aaron, I do not think this. I think you would fucking do a squat, shit in the woods on your way with a girl, and you go, hey, look out for people while I do this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

I mean, honestly, this is a man with no shame. So it could be any of you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is true.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I have a lot of shame.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I have shame.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I live with tons of shame.

[Nina Karufa]

I don't believe you. Not one second. I mean, the only. Look, you look like you have the least amount of shame. I'm sorry.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Thanks. But he looks like he has the most amount of shit.

[Nina Karufa]

Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Did I get actually mad? I'm like, okay, yes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I didn't know this was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, my friends.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I just. I'm. I'm getting a Big J vibe because I. Me and Big J, we've been friends for a long time. We're very similar people, and this is something that I could see myself doing. I just have never been that comfortable in a relationship.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, I. I hit Brendan as I'm

[Luis J. Gomez]

making eye contact with my son. Sorry, son.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think this is me?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think this was me?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, no.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'll tell you why it's you, by the way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Because you hit me real quick. So, you know, you're like, whatever, who cares?

[Aaron Berg]

Boom.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And I'll tell you, it's the way you talk, too. You say fully a lot. You go, really? Yeah, yeah. You go, blah, blah, blah. Fully, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I've watched you.

[Nina Karufa]

What the does that even mean?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Does he say fully a lot?

[Nina Karufa]

What does that mean?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Look, I know I'm right.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Aaron Berg]

The fact Jay will be like, yeah, this is fully. Yeah, you do say fully.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wait, are you genuinely agreeing that I say the word folio?

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, Aaron, are you married a lot? Okay, it's not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I never knew that.

[Aaron Berg]

But I cheat all the time. I cheat with girls that I in front of.

[Nina Karufa]

I don't believe that. So Aaron is definitely out. Lewis is a kind of feminine. So it's not him.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What?

[Aaron Berg]

Witch Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What?

[Nina Karufa]

He has like soft vibes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I am fully hard.

[Nina Karufa]

He's like a sweet pumpkin angel. It's between these two fatties.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What the heck?

[Aaron Berg]

Look at those fatties with poopy poops.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hey, I'm just here to promote my book, man. I don't white fear. Get it while you can.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Between Two Fatties is Zach Galifianakis's new podcast.

[Brendan Sagalo]

All right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's already on Netflix.

[Aaron Berg]

Bam.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm saying, baby. Big J, what's going on?

[Nina Karufa]

I'm going, Brandon.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm going, Big J. Final answer.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And I feel good.

[Aaron Berg]

Hey, walk it in for old fatty Anno zempic manjaro.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm telling you, just do crack.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number two belongs to Big J Ogerson.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yes.

[Aaron Berg]

You lied to us, man. You do say fully.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Telling you, dog.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay, is that a new tell? You say fully a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm going to pay attention to that for sure, dude.

[Aaron Berg]

I was fully balls deep in this girl. Fully.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's something to keep an eye on for sure. Yeah, yeah. There's not much story to it. It's just the absolute truth. I have to be with somebody for quite some time before I will even shit. Like in a hotel room. Like, I'm going to go to the bathroom. You sit out here.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Now, Jay will sooner have a full fledged other girlfriend that he lives with before he shits in front of his last girlfriend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my girlfriend.

[Aaron Berg]

I want one of those. I just have a pissing girlfriend right now.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you got to have a girlfriend in the city. You know what I mean? It's like having a New York sports club membership.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay, do you. Do you in front of your girlfriend?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no, not in front of. No. But I mean, yeah, I guess, I guess through a door. Through a door? Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She'll know that you're shitting. Shitting.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

So you put the door. Put the door on top of the toilet. Put a hole in it. Just through that door.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You close the door. Nina comes over, headbutts it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Breaks her teeth out. Of her mouth.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I close the door, I lock it. I turn something on YouTube on my phone. And then I open up world star hip hop on my computer. And then I get to work.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. Two stories down. Alex, where are our points at?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

All right. In last place with one point, Nina Karufa.

[Nina Karufa]

Fuck this game.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In fourth place with two points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They're saying, boo this, man. Boo this. Boo this.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In third place with three points, Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You know what? You know what, Serafina? Give me a little popcorn. I feel good. Give me a little popcorn, if you would.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

And tied for first place with four points each, Brendan Sagalo and Aaron Berg.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know what it is. Oh, God, I'm so nervous.

[Big J Okerson]

Don't be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're doing great.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, story warriors, let's take a quick moment and thank Hims for supporting the show, longtime sponsor. Look, you can't control the weather unless you're Ari Shafir, but you can take control of your Ed. Hims is here to help you bring the thunder in the bedroom. It gives you personalized prescription treatment options for ED with trusted generics that cost 95% less than brand names. They even have in house products like their hard mints or Sex Rx Plus Climax control genuinely works. You see an online doctor, they prescribe it to you, they send it to your door in discreet packaging. I love it. As I'm 44 years old at this point, I need a little help in the bedroom, especially with some of these uggos that I've been trying to bed. But Jay, you, you're always rock hard and ready to rock.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

This stuff makes you so hard. Makes me crazy how much harder you've been lately. Yeah, and when I asked you about that. But they don't just have stuff to make you hard.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They also have affordable.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Lie to you, Jay. I'm like, no, it's you. You're so hard.

[Big J Okerson]

I know, but I can't believe that, you know, I'm too self deprecating for that. I go, this guy's juicing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They have affordable care for not just

[Big J Okerson]

Ed, but hair loss, weight loss, and so much more. Go to hims.com warswithaz W A R Z. That's hims.com wars for your free online visit hims.com wars actual price will depend on product and subscription plan. Featured products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness or quality. Prescription required. See website for details, restrictions and important safety information.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, story warriors, let's talk about factor meals, which is just the absolute best. If you're trying to eat healthy or just trying to eat delicious food, you don't have time to cook for yourself or have a big family to cook for. Factor meals is the answer. They are meals that are designed by dietitians and prepared by real chefs that are ready in just two minutes. There's no planning, there's no cooking, no dishes afterwards. And truly a wide variety of meals with nutrient dense ingredients and they can fit into any diet goal or schedule schedule.

[Big J Okerson]

They have a bunch of tasty new dishes for the summer like the creamy lemon pepper chicken, which is delicious. I've been using factor for years. I always have some factor meals in my freezer. It is two minutes. I'm always on the go. We do, we're working in the city the few days I'm home a week till very late. So you know, when you get home, I don't want to order food out all the time and there's only fast food available, so.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And also when you're trying to do something healthy, you feel like you're eating the same thing over and over again. You take all the guesswork out of it, all the preparation time out of it. I'm always trying to lose weight and get back in shape. This is the best way to do that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

They even have like pre made salads now. It keeps growing the company. So head over to factor meals.com wars50off. That's W Z 50 off. Factor meals.com wars50off and use the code wars50off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box. That's for new subscriptions only while supplies last until September 27, 2026.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay, story warriors, take a moment right now and go to bodybraincoffee.com and support that company. Not only is it because it's my company, but also because it's genuinely a great product. Five simple ingredients. It's real freeze dried premium Colombian coffee. It's delicious coffee that is packed with nootropics and adaptogens that will help you be the best version of yourself. It's got Tonka Ali which has been linked to testosterone support. Lion's mane which helps with focus and memory. Ashwagandha which helps with mood and L theanine which smooths out the jitteriness that a lot of people feel from caffeine. So it's real caffeine, real coffee. Most functional coffees that are out there, they don't actually have real coffee in them. They just throw A bunch of slop into a cup. You taste it, you're like, this tastes gross. Does it make me feel good? I don't know. This coffee tastes great and it's going to make you feel great. Jay, I know that you've been enjoying your body bring coffee for a while now.

[Big J Okerson]

Yup.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You don't even drink. You don't even drink coffee. That's how much Jay loves body drink coffee. He doesn't even drink coffee.

[Big J Okerson]

It's how much I love you. Because I would jam something up my ass no matter what.

[Luis J. Gomez]

But any product I was selling, you would jam in your ass.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, Absolutely. So lucky for me, it's coffee. Which I will say, and I am the science on this, the exclusive science, it has turned my life around. 180 degrees for the better.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure you have colon cancer now, but that's okay.

[Big J Okerson]

Placebo effect.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Look, try it out for yourself. You could drink it hot, you could drink it cold as an iced coffee. You could pour it into a protein shake. You could really do anything. People put it in their oatmeal. People put it in their yogurt. It really is a great product. Just go to BodyBrainCoffee.com right now. Use the promo code WAR20. WAR20. Save 20% off your entire order today. If you subscribe, you're going to get 20% off and you're going to get free shipping. So get a subscription if you guys want. Bodybringcoffee.com promo code war20. All right, where were we? Alex, story number three.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number three. Once while flying, I got a big wave of anxiety. I went to the bathroom and smoked some weed. Needless to say, the flight attendant was not happy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Lewis, this sounds. Listen to me. Yeah, listen to me. This sounds exactly like me. Even then, needless to say, that's something I would say you're definitely right. Yeah. Who just blew out a giant puff of weed? Just.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Sorry, was that weed?

[Nina Karufa]

Maybe.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Fuck, yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

Do you want some?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I do. She actually just.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She swallowed a bomb and went.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She burped.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She burped the bomb.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

She decided you guys are. I thought so. No suicide bombing tonight.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Dude. She's. So here's the thing. I would do something like this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I haven't smoked weed in a bathroom on a plane, but I have smoked, like, a vape. I'll blow it into my shirt. I'll do all that stuff.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's a federal offense, my friend.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Thanks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Punishable by $250 fine.

[Nina Karufa]

Aren't you Puerto Rican?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I am Puerto Rican.

[Nina Karufa]

You're full of crime. Of course it was you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I mean, it was a slap of Lewis.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Relax.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm not locking anything in.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Don't lock it in.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've got my pet tablet.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Brennan Sackler vibes. Brennan's a pothead.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He is.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hold on. He is a white rapper, but he

[Nina Karufa]

also seems like too much of a piece of.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is a big deal. No, no. He would do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He is a white rat, but he.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This is my hijab.

[Nina Karufa]

Disgusting. Everyone's obsessed with me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yo, Sagalo. Praise of the West.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know what it is?

[Nina Karufa]

No. This is definitely a Hispanic crime.

[Aaron Berg]

Maybe.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, cut that. Build the wall. Build the wall.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis isn't in touch with his emotions enough to understand anxiety.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

True.

[Aaron Berg]

Oh, yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Look, I'll tell you right now, I've never been caught smoking. I'm also, if I get caught smoking weed on a flight, I feel like. Like they would drag me off of the flight. I would never be able to fly again. Brennan Sagalo, I think you were trying to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The flight attendant maybe never do this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He's a cute, cherub like little boy. Yeah, he. He giggled and they went fine. Go take your seat.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

Aaron, do you smoke?

[Aaron Berg]

Not anymore.

[Nina Karufa]

Okay. This could have been a long time ago. You're Jewish, so you're super entitled.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Jewish anxiety.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Exactly.

[Aaron Berg]

I get where you're going.

[Nina Karufa]

Name the airline laws.

[Aaron Berg]

Name the airline spirit.

[Nina Karufa]

L. Alone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes, I'm Jewish and I have anxiety. But I. I think Lewis would back this up as one of my closest friends, that I'm not a rule breaker enough to go try that in the bathroom.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay would not smoke weed in the bathroom.

[Aaron Berg]

I will say this. If anyone knows about breaking rules and planes, it's Nina.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's fair.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's good.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's fair. But only one way tickets. One way tickets.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It did.

[Aaron Berg]

Didn't say while holding a box cutter.

[Nina Karufa]

So I'm too pretty to kill myself.

[Aaron Berg]

I am going to go.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you, one person, for letting my go.

[Aaron Berg]

But Nina's had a crazy life. She parties with kings. Like it does seem like something she would do and then just pretend she doesn't speak English.

[Nina Karufa]

You're Islamophobic Weed. But I would say that should have been love.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What is it?

[Nina Karufa]

Nothing.

[Aaron Berg]

English. I would go. My guess is gonna be Louis, cuz I've toured with him. I know he loves smoking weed everywhere.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I've never done drugs, baby James.

[Aaron Berg]

And by the way, congratulations to your son for growing Your mustache at eight. Okay,

[Nina Karufa]

I'm going to.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

James, I also want you to know your father's never done cocaine unless it was off another man's penis.

[Aaron Berg]

That's true, James. A penis is what girls and boys have.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm going Brendan Sagolo. He's a pothead. He's sweet, he's cute. He got away with it. Final answer.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Okay, I'm gonna go Aaron, and I'll tell you why. I could hear you saying, needless to say, and I know that's crazy, but it worked last time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Time.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm going Aaron.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have Aaron down too. Wow.

[Nina Karufa]

Okay. Everyone's ganging up on the Jew. I love it.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah. How long till these have cracks all over them?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And, well, just so you know, they've done this so I can't draw dicks on them. We were getting.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The only reason we decided to upgrade.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We were getting demonetized. Oh, I'll find a way to get dicks. I'll find a way to get dicks on it. I'll find a way to get dicks on it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay's drawing penis with binary code 1-000-1-0,0. Alex. All of her answers are in.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number three belongs to Nina Carrufa.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. That's crazy. That's a wild. I knock.

[Aaron Berg]

I was close.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you.

[Aaron Berg]

Nice. That's a wild, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So they caught you?

[Nina Karufa]

I did get caught. I got.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Were you smoking weed? Weed Or a vape?

[Nina Karufa]

No, I was smoking a vape in the bathroom, but I was blowing the smoke into the toilet and flushing, you

[Luis J. Gomez]

know, which literally makes no sense. You can't flush smoke.

[Nina Karufa]

So I kept going back and forth. I got away with it for, like, four hits. And then I went back for a fifth because I'm greedy. And then the lady was knocking on the door, so I flushed the vape and I came out. She was like, you were smoking? I was like, no, I wasn't. And so it was. He said, she said. So when we landed, the captain looked at me, was like, were you smoking? I said, no, sir. I swear, I'm Muslim. And he was like, have a nice day.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wow, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a Kaiser Sose move.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Did he go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

As soon as she walked out, then she just pulled a pork rib out of her pocket. But I'm Muslim.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm one charming ass bitch. So.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, it is. It is against the Muslim religion to smoke weed, right?

[Nina Karufa]

No, no. It's against our religion to drink.

[Aaron Berg]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What about eating a pork rib as you walk away from people laughing at you?

[Nina Karufa]

Pork is Forbidden.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Pork is forbidden. Weed is not forbidden. Really?

[Nina Karufa]

I mean, there's. There's, like, interpretations of it. Different.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you're interpreting it because you like to get high.

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah, obviously I'm gonna interpret it where it's not wrong so I don't feel guilty.

[Aaron Berg]

I went to the Dave Chappelle school of Muslim.

[Nina Karufa]

Listen, on a scale, that would be pcp.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Listen.

[Nina Karufa]

Now, on a scale from Dave Chappelle to isis, I'm right in the middle.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nice.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know what that means.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That was a great description.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at? All right, Nina just cleaned up.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In last place with two points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's early. It's early. It's early.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Annoying. Left guy just did the Ralph laugh from the Simpsons. He went, ha ha.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In fourth place with three points, Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm here to play.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Tied for second place with four points each, Brendan Sagalo and Aaron Bird.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're in first place.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

And in the lead with five points, Nina Karufa.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you guys so much. Thank you. Sabrina Carpenter. And if you know, you know, Nina,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

you are edging ever closer to being able to go home and burn white beer. How the Browning of America is making white folks lose their mind by rolling this money.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Martin.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

White Americans are projected to become a racial minority as early as 2043.

[Aaron Berg]

What?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Boo.

[Aaron Berg]

This week on the Anthony Kumia show,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

author Roland Martin claims white fear is growing more visible and more intense. Bluntly asking the direct question, will white people choose to accept a change, or

[Luis J. Gomez]

are you gonna stand the fuck up and get your guns?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Race war.

[Nina Karufa]

Fuck the police.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Race war. Pick your side now.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Will white people choose to accept a change or keep fighting to hold on to a version of the country that no longer exists? That woman looks like she just found this out right now. She's like, what minority by when?

[Luis J. Gomez]

This book is crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's so thin. For such jarring information.

[Aaron Berg]

There's six pages. The first letter's N, the last one's

[Nina Karufa]

R.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I have the abridged version.

[Aaron Berg]

It ends in an A. Ah, the David Cross version. I respect that.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex. Alex. Story number four.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number four. I hooked up with a person who had a third nipple. It was bigger than their other two nipples.

[Luis J. Gomez]

None of these stories are big stories. Nothing big I know has happened in a single store yet.

[Aaron Berg]

People just bigger nipples.

[Nina Karufa]

Dude, I was big on an airplane.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you fucking deaf?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hold on.

[Nina Karufa]

I went to a big party.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Listen.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Say bigger nipple three times, fast.

[Aaron Berg]

Bigger nipple. Bigger nipple. Bigger nipple. Okay, four would have Been trouble.

[Nina Karufa]

I went to a big party.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You did?

[Luis J. Gomez]

That was big. I have hooked up with a gal with a third nipple.

[Nina Karufa]

Ew.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So you're. This is you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay. No, it's not me. Her third nipple was, in fact, smaller

[Lewis J. Gomez]

than her other nipples, as third nipples tend to be.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, if you have three nipples, you get all three pierced? Pierced.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Maybe the third one you tend to not be able to get pierced. The third one almost looks like you're, like. At one point, you're like, I had a. I was. The only person I know had one was a guy, and it was right under his foot. He had his nipple and his, you know, his pec. His defined peck.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're feeling his chest sucking his dick. You're like, did you hook up with him?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No. Underneath?

[Aaron Berg]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He wouldn't have me. I was too heavy. He. There was a. But he had one right under here. And if you wouldn't have thought much of.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Shove it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If you. You know, I mean, we thought it was like a freckle or something like that, but if you got up on it, you can see it's like a little nipple.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's got everything. Yeah. By the way, third nipples are a way more common thing than you think. I guarantee there's at least a handful of people in here that have third.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Who's got third nipples.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Third nipple right back there. What I tell you?

[Nina Karufa]

See it? Can we see it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's a real thing.

[Nina Karufa]

Can we. Can we see?

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's way more common than you know.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know it is.

[Nina Karufa]

He wants to show us his nipple.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Sir, what's your third nipple?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, that looks like you're. No, you need to show us all three.

[Aaron Berg]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He showed us one of his nipples. I need to see two more nipples.

[Aaron Berg]

I need to see two more guys. Let's see.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

So you say you're gonna show my third nipple. You have to show all three nipples?

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah. Let's see if the girl with the blue shirt has three go. Nope, just two.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That girl's shirt's so low, I don't even know if she has the two originals.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, look, third nipples are very common. A larger third nipple would be.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That makes me think the person or the. Who told the story or the person who owns those three nipples doesn't know which one is the third to be the biggest one. They're like. They're like, yeah, it's the biggest one. He goes, no, that's not. That's one of the original or the

[Nina Karufa]

biggest one is only one. They only have one nipple and then two side nipples.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, this does seem stupid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna guess Lewis Aaron also was. Maybe you'd almost argue a sex addict at a time when, like Craigslist, you would be like, hey, anyone between 100 and 500 pounds, I'll fuck you in a car. And you would go do it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I watch. I watch Aaron Berg have sex with, I think, drink a man on the road. It's a fat, gross man. Yeah. There's no confirmation that this was a woman in that car.

[Aaron Berg]

Aaron, I'm pretty sure who hurt you. Her penis was inside. It was a big woman in Pittsburgh. Yeah, I've. I've. My body counts up there. Yeah, I. I was amazed.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's your nipple count?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it's an odd number, it's you.

[Aaron Berg]

I've seen a lot.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Let it be an odd number.

[Aaron Berg]

I've seen a lot.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm gonna tell you right now. Aaron also, once again, was a former stripper. Did a lot of hooking up. Lots and lots of hooking up. I'm getting Aaron Berg vibes. And he's also Canadian. Who knows what's in the water up there. They're throwing. They're growing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God, Those fucking beaver tits.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Six fingers free health care.

[Aaron Berg]

They get all their nipples checked.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Three nipples, non cancerous.

[Aaron Berg]

And again, could be Nina. She's lived a weird life.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That is true.

[Nina Karufa]

I don't fuck freaks.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God. Imagine how hairy that third nipple would have been.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

First of all, where she's from, they kill babies with three nipples. So this is you, some privileged ass Jew boy with.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Aaron Berg vibes all day long. Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

I'm going a different way.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Child porn.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The kid getting butt fucked.

[Aaron Berg]

I think the term hooked up. I think Lewis has had a lot of sex. I think Jay's had a lot of sex. I don't know Nina's backstory, but I think Brendan.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm a virgin.

[Aaron Berg]

Brendan would probably.

[Nina Karufa]

Don't laugh at me, bitch.

[Aaron Berg]

Brendan would probably use the term hook hooked up and be shocked by three nipples.

[Brendan Sagalo]

But I did also have that thought about you because you said hooked up. You said it.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, who would you vote for?

[Aaron Berg]

If it was Lewis, he would write, I'm a felon. Lewis would write, I I consensually hooked up with a girl with three nipples. If it was Louis, nothing.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If it's not Aaron, I feel like an asshole because he's really giving a lot of explanation. Yeah, it's over.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm gonna be pissed.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, who sort of was sir, number four. Four.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number four belongs to Lewis J.

[Nina Karufa]

Oh,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's your piece of father, James. Oh, great fingernails. Girl's over now. She's dried up. She's done.

[Nina Karufa]

Are you really traumatizing yourself, James?

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is a weird way to find out that your mom has a third nipple.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It is a tough way.

[Nina Karufa]

That poor sweet time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

An angel.

[Aaron Berg]

I remember being confused when I was feeding.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I actually. I've actually hooked up with two girls with three nipples. One girl nip. Third nipple was much.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Two girls, six nips.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Doggy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What stats Good video.

[Nina Karufa]

Where are you finding these doggy?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Near a power plant.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Tom's River, New Jersey. Cancer capital of the world.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Swimming in the Hudson river, apparently

[Lewis J. Gomez]

at the bottom of the ocean where we haven't found a lot of things.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I hooked up with another girl who was a pretty cute chick, fairly young girl, and I'm like, making out with her.

[Nina Karufa]

How young, you freak?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I was feeling on her back. And the third nipple, dude, it exists. It was right here on her back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not a nipple, dude. That's a twin that wasn't born, dude. If it's. It's supposed to be here, dude. Who has them on their back, dude? That's crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was the biggest, most distracting thing ever.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, did I have a ball where you could do that to it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

It was.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Did it get hard if you fucking blew on her neck? I'm not even calling it a. Hurts.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, it was absolutely wild. And I never said anything. There's a. Men and women are like. I just like. Was like, all right, well, that just happened. If I had that on my body, she would have left. There's no way she would have finished the night.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

If I had that on my body, I would have taken it off with nail clippers. There's not a way. If a woman started touching my back, I would fucking laugh. Like DDT or something. What's still cold? Stunner. If she goes, oh, my God. I go. I just play around like that. Never touch my back. You. Why are you here? I just met you five seconds ago. You're rubbing my back off, skank. Go call your father and make fatherless behavior. Yeah, make up with your dad. Thank you. Clock it.

[Aaron Berg]

Clock it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I watch the baddies.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you. Jay's the only one who sees me, right?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, we're all watching Alex. Where are points at?

[Nina Karufa]

Not Aaron.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In last place with three points, Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What the fuck?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Whoa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh. I got distracted by having fun.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Tied for third place with four points each Brendan Sagolo and Aaron Berg.

[Nina Karufa]

Fuck fucking Jews.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In second place with five points, Nina Karufa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

All right.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

And in the lead with six points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I don't know why this makes sense.

[Nina Karufa]

You and your cult following, who are all gay, by the way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, they are so gay.

[Nina Karufa]

Every guy that's obsessed with you is a homosexual.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They're awesome.

[Nina Karufa]

They're in love with you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Absolutely.

[Aaron Berg]

Damn.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You're starting to sound like a gay guy yourself.

[Nina Karufa]

Leave him alone. The last time I did Story Wars, Lewis fans wanted me dead. Yeah, they DM me to kill myself. Told me to kill myself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Cause he's gay.

[Nina Karufa]

No, not jihad, bitches. Cause they're in love with Louis. Cause they're all homosexual.

[Brendan Sagalo]

All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

If Nina kills herself, she's gonna take a lot of you out with her.

[Nina Karufa]

Can you imagine? I wear all this jewelry just to kill myself.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, Jesus. Those aren't tits. Those are two old timey bombs. Like from Super Mario.

[Nina Karufa]

Actually, I must.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Your nipples are just wicks.

[Brendan Sagalo]

There's a third one on her back.

[Nina Karufa]

Leave my tits.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's more of a grenade.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait. Leave my tits and normal two nipples out of this.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Boring.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Show us or we don't believe you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we're totally gay. We don't care anyway.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We're all family. We're all just looking. Whatever. Science.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm not showing you guys my titties.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll be honest with you. The funniest thing in the world would have been for if that guy just turned back around and left. As he said, I'm not showing this. He goes, oh, came to the wrong show.

[Nina Karufa]

What's your name? Lauren. Can Lauren, you make up for us and show us your titties just for me? No, thank you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

At the same time.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Y. Yay.

[Nina Karufa]

I have a father.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I mean, she. She is wearing something. Ah. Oh, a. I was going to make a joke. I don't know. Jay, help me out with this. I was going to say something about her nails being falling off the. The big party castle that Nita went to. That's where I was trying to get to, but I. I don't know exactly how to get the words.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They fell off the top.

[Luis J. Gomez]

We're gonna edit this. Okay. I'm. I'm a genius. The people at home have no idea how bad I just bombed at a job.

[Nina Karufa]

It's giving.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You're nervous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Louis, you really do not want those fingernails up your ass.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I don't.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'll tell you the biggest fear is if she pulls it out and it's Got less bedazzling on it than when it went anywhere. You're going to have to shit that out or you're going to have to go see a doctor, my man. Those things might sand you down. If I'm being honest, your shits might start flying out because of how smooth the walls of your anus are. After a aggressive, it looks like I'm thinking middle finger, ring finger. Yeah, a real fuck. Oh, it's got a spinner on it. Oh, my God, dude. It's like getting fucking finger fucked by Latrell Sprewell's car.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, we are at the halfway point of the show.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, we are.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's do some plugs real quick. Aaron, what do you plug in, my friend?

[Aaron Berg]

All my dates, aaronberg.com. check them out. I'm going everywhere. I'm going to Myrtle beach, dude. That's it. I'll stay there for nine months. I'm doing a residency at the Myrtle Beach Holiday Inn. Come check it out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nine months.

[Aaron Berg]

It's gonna be killer, man. Six seats per show. So they do sell out.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Come on by.

[Aaron Berg]

Also, my other podcast, Badass Jews Get It Everywhere. It's fucking phenomenal. Thank you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hell, yeah, Sagolo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

My book White Fear is coming out. I'm gonna be in Raleigh, North Carolina, and then Atlanta, Georgia, and then Pennsylvania and Connecticut, all on brendansagolo.com Please come. Oh, Fart Carnival, too.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Nina Karufa.

[Nina Karufa]

I'll be at the Secret Loft on Sunday. And if you're in la, I'll be at Netflix's a joke fest all week, doing shows at the store and the factory and all over. Follow me on Instagram.

[Brendan Sagalo]

By store, she means the bodega.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Her dad.

[Nina Karufa]

The Comedy Store. No, the Comedy Store. And I'll also be opening for the Plastic Up Boys at the Laugh Factory. And I have a fight coming up on May 30th. If you're in New York, I also box. And then I'll be in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. So thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we'll go.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Big J seems out in a few weeks, right?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it'll be out in a few weeks.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, hey, everyone. I hope you enjoyed me on the live Kevin Hart Roast on Netflix.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I enjoyed watching you bomb and then kill yourself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We talked business. Fun today. If I eat shit, it is bad for my career, but really good for my podcast. Come over and goes, whoa, man, that went weird, huh? I'm also going to be at Netflix the Joke. We're doing story wars there. And then, of course, listen to The Bonfire and Legion of Skanks right here. Guest digital network.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah. Check out the pod. Sign up for my mailing list. Go to my website louisofskanks.com for all that good stuff. Stuff. And also if you love the show, you should know that we do this show ad free and uncensored. It comes out every Monday night on gasdigital.com so you don't have to wait to watch it on YouTube or anywhere else. You guys get a pre release uncensored ad free. No, no advertisements, no reads. Just go to gas digital.com. there's also probably 40 or 50 episodes that are no longer available anywhere else in the world. So go subscribe to Gas Digital and become a part of the Story wars family. Use the promo code Wars. Save a couple bucks a month. It supports the show directly. And also I have a book called Knives and Spoons. Go buy it right now on Amazon or at Barnes and Nobles. Thank you.

[Aaron Berg]

Thank you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, we have hit the second half of the show, our final four stories. And Jay, you're probably feeling pretty shitty right about now. Feeling like why do you come again when you're in last place for most of the show? Hey, remember the first part when you did really good again and then it went haywire all over again. Well, don't worry, that could all turn around with just four more stories because for the final four stories, everybody here knows we go double points. Holy shit. It's pretty simple. Before, if you fooled somebody with your story, you got one point per person. If you you guess the right story, you got two points. But Berg, why don't you tell them what that moves to now?

[Aaron Berg]

Double points.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Have we been talking about this girl fingering her asses in front of her mother the entire time and my son.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah. Yes we have.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let's break. Let's bring it down a level.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, we really should we get demonetized on YouTube. Miss, ma', am, I'm sorry that we kept making ideas about your daughter finger fucking on the face.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm sorry I asked your daughter to show us her titties.

[Aaron Berg]

Jay, take a look at that mom and think if she gives a shit. That mom has seen more balls than a pickleball court.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It does feel like if her daughter was finger her asshole she would go like that's not how you finger an asshole.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah, you know how and just fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

In my day when they came back from Nam, you put both hands in their ass.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't have a girl that pretty know her father unless you know how to finger that father's. Am I right, Mom?

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Milk and prostates. This.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All this stuff will be on the gas digital version, but edited out of the YouTube version.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You too, because we will be demonetized for sexual. Anyway, go ahead, Alex. Story number five.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number five. Out of pity, I invited the new kid who was getting bullied to my birthday party. At the party, a big metal ladder fell on him in a freak accident, leaving a huge bloody gash down his back. He had to go home.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All I heard is. I just heard a huge bloody gash. So I'm thinking now, Nina, you.

[Nina Karufa]

That's crazy. It has to be between Jay and. And I feel like you were like,

[Brendan Sagalo]

you think this is me?

[Nina Karufa]

Let me take home the loser. You seem like a martyr.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I never really had any birthday parties when I was younger.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm too much of a. To invite somebody I don't like to.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Oh, really? I would if I had birthday parties. Sorry that got all sad for you guys. You should have came.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I never. I literally never had birthday parties.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was a kid ever this guy?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Maybe one or two ever?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nothing that I would like. Yeah. Had a bunch of friends coming to it where I can invite the bully. I never had a guest list big enough for a birthday where the bully can get involved. It was always like, pick a friend, then we're going to McDonald's.

[Nina Karufa]

Am I the only one up here who was loved?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I'm saying the kid getting bullied, like, it wasn't. He wasn't close enough to me where I would invite that kid to a thing. I mean, it was. My mom was like, grab a friend and we'll go to, like, Chuck E. Cheese or something.

[Nina Karufa]

Also, I was a school bully, so.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I had a feeling.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, we. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Take much. You just turn your backpack around and everybody goes half. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Gosh.

[Nina Karufa]

Come on.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You love it here.

[Nina Karufa]

Video games, television, talk nice to me. I was prom queen.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Clock

[Nina Karufa]

was my only life accomplishment.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's how she got invited to that king's house.

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

She wore her crown.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get me the prom queen.

[Brendan Sagalo]

It was an arranged marriage.

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Oh, she cost a lot of goats. This.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Some of my best goats.

[Nina Karufa]

I mean, the best ones.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Aaron. Aaron did come from a fairly well to do family.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Right, Right. I feel like the word gash is very Canadian.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And gash is like an old school.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Gash is very Canadian.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Bloody gash down his back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ash Canadian.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, Canadians have ladders out the ass.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, they really do. I mean, and you seem nice, like you'd invite someone to your birthday.

[Nina Karufa]

I mean, I feel like Brenton got bullied when he was little.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, I mean, I was a bully. I've been bullied. That's just how it goes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Hurt people.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hurt people.

[Nina Karufa]

I mean.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I mean, all the kids would collectively make fun of the gay substitute team teacher.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Brandon, let me tell you why I'm gonna vote for you right now.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hit me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You could have just lied there and just said whatever. You'd be like, yeah, I got bullied only. And you go, but you had to let us know. That's such a dude thing. You had to go like, dude, I bullied some too.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, but this isn't. This isn't anything about me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Liberty. Blah, blah, blah. Brandon Sagalo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, but it's nothing to do with someone getting Jesus Christ do.

[Nina Karufa]

Who thinks it's Friday?

[Brendan Sagalo]

You. You did.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Who?

[Nina Karufa]

This is Brendan.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Clap.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, he's so dumb. You're so dumb.

[Nina Karufa]

No, I'm not a Who gets bullied. Let's be real.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Your premise is wrong because none of the. None of this has to do with being bullied or bullying somebody.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm just flexing my ego right now.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, no, it does.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's a person that could. Has a party big enough where you can farm it out to like.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You think I had a party big enough? Enough?

[Nina Karufa]

Half Jew? Yes.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What does that mean? We didn't do it at a temple or anything like that. It wasn't my bar mitzvah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You did it in your sort of big house.

[Aaron Berg]

One side's big, the other shitty.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Do you think my house had a bunch of ladders?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, but I think your mom was happy to invite some friends over in the town. Bully, I will say. Or the kid that got bullied.

[Aaron Berg]

Aaron.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This could be Aaron Berg for sure. But I went with my gut on this one. Well, my gut has got me.

[Nina Karufa]

We all know between Aaron and Brendan.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm saying Aaron.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, who do you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think between Aaron and Brendan before,

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't have ladders. I've never even had a birthday. And you're making me say it a lot in front of people.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God, you're zero.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, Lewis, who do you think.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Aaron Berg vibes. He's being very quiet right now. Once again, Aaron's a nice guy. Came from a little bit of cashola. Canadians are all friendly. It's like, oh, I'll invite the bully guys. Yeah. So I'm going, Aaron Berg.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm just going to copy Lewis I

[Aaron Berg]

think it's between Jay and Brendan. But we haven't had a Brendan one. I will go with Brendan, you fool.

[Nina Karufa]

We haven't had a one either.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lay it on us.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number five belongs to Brendan saga.

[Aaron Berg]

You're a fucking hero, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Not only.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Not only have I had birthday parties, they were big. And I did invite that bullied kid,

[Nina Karufa]

Louis, you piece of shit.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So what happened here? Who is this kid?

[Brendan Sagalo]

So, okay, so I had an above ground pool, right?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Ooh, fancy.

[Aaron Berg]

That's the not half Jewish part.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And the pool had a ladder that would. You'd have to unhook and it would come down. You climb up the ladder and go into the whatever. And when you weren't using it, you'd put it up, right? So there was this kid, Jason, who was really bullied and I felt really bad for him. Completely bullied. First day he came to school, he was wearing like a Star wars shirt and kids just lost. They called him gay all day. And I felt really bad for him, so I invited him to my party. And then he. He was standing by the ladder and it unhooked and it went. And it just went down his fucking.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

And he went in front of everybody.

[Nina Karufa]

He went

[Brendan Sagalo]

and he. It didn't really help. The gay allegations.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, that's like the end of the movie Carrie. Yeah, you're lucky you didn't have telekinesis powers.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And he went home and he wasn't like. He like had to put on the. That he wasn't angry or crying. He was like, no, I'm just going to go home. Just going to go. And he never returned.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, I prefer it this way.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And he bled everywhere.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah, it was huge. I could picture it. It was like red, like just a. A gash.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, your parents aren't supposed to let him leave. They're supposed to get him help.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, they were like, get off the property, get off the property.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They were like, beat a. And your dad butt hanged them. You dad went laid ass on his head.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Hey, you got a little blood in your shirt.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Boop.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Get out of here, you dildo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

All right, in last place with five points, Nina Kufa.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This last place. Well, you went from first place.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

USA. USA. USA. USA.

[Aaron Berg]

U.S.A.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I feel like the back corner sang it a little too hard.

[Nina Karufa]

Relax, you finance bros. You're all wearing the same outfit with the same stupid haircut and facial hair.

[Brendan Sagalo]

They actually look all different to me.

[Aaron Berg]

All different.

[Nina Karufa]

Shut the up.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, but I'm on your side.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is why we need to read White Fear. You don't have to take that, white man. You need to stand up for yourself.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is your country.

[Nina Karufa]

Why?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Okay.

[Nina Karufa]

He wants to hate. Fuck me.

[Aaron Berg]

You see those five guys? That means not welcome.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Five guys?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Where?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In fourth place with six points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Woo. Yeah. Yeah.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In third place with seven points, Big J Okerson.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The fuck is going on here? That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You never know, you might be here on one of the nights.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

And tied for first place with eight points each. Brendan Sagolo and Aaron Berg.

[Nina Karufa]

The Jews, of course they're in first place.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I. I'm only half Jewish and I'm. I come out of my dad, so it doesn't even count.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

So if you ever wanted to have sex, that's cool. That's how you do it, boys.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Damn, dude. You're like that guy mystery. You're a pickup artist.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You know 80% of women, masked, masturbate in the shower. And the other 20 sing. You know what song they sing?

[Nina Karufa]

What?

[Luis J. Gomez]

You must be the other one.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude. Stagger and Tagger. You've already her at this point.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Stud, stud.

[Nina Karufa]

Fat piece of dude.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

At this point, mentally, in my mind, you've already her.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, he can't afford to me. Let's be real.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, four rupees. You're not African royalty.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You have to go into the tiger's mouth and get the lamp.

[Nina Karufa]

First of all, if you're gonna be racist, be accurate. Bitch. I'm an Arab, not an Indian, so fuck you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I did do the.

[Big J Okerson]

No.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It doesn't look like you'd have to survive a series of booby traps to get to the.

[Aaron Berg]

Here is the dust from a hospital.

[Nina Karufa]

Okay, Aaron, I've liked you so far. Don't make me change my mind.

[Aaron Berg]

I love you so much.

[Nina Karufa]

Don't make me change my mind.

[Aaron Berg]

I'm not frightened by you.

[Nina Karufa]

You should be.

[Aaron Berg]

I'm okay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex. Story number six.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number six. I was drunk one night. I left an extra large pizza in the oven all night at 450 degrees.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Stupid.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never been too drunk to. I've never forgotten pizza.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay's a Jay, knows exactly where that pizza is at all times.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do this, I go, pizza's how much longer than a pizza?

[Luis J. Gomez]

He wakes up like the mom from Home Alone.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's like pizza, pizza.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

I left an extra large pizza in the oven all night at 450 degrees in the morning. I was alive but couldn't eat the pizza.

[Nina Karufa]

It's gotta be between the fat people. I'm sorry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I know you'd think that for sure, but I promise you I wouldn't forget a pizza.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This could be. No fucking way.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Aaron's a fucking like workout junkie. So he's got a thing where it's like this is like a late night decision you make paid drunk and just like, I'm gonna do it, dude.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Aaron had an alcohol problem for a while as well. He's sober now for that reason.

[Aaron Berg]

That's true.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Sober and also his people hate ovens.

[Aaron Berg]

So Yeah,

[Luis J. Gomez]

I understand why he would put this a very memorable.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Because of the Holocaust. You see?

[Luis J. Gomez]

You got it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

This does feel like a Lewis thing though.

[Nina Karufa]

Looks like he drinks a lot. I don't know. Am I wrong?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I feel loose. Isn't for getting a pizza either.

[Aaron Berg]

I think Lewis is sober now. Now I think. Brendan, you drink still? No. You can't drink.

[Nina Karufa]

No. And I'm 157 all muscle. I don't eat pizza.

[Aaron Berg]

Well, God damn.

[Nina Karufa]

Sorry.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Damn, girl.

[Aaron Berg]

You're what?

[Nina Karufa]

Thank you. One person in the audience who gives a.

[Aaron Berg]

What are you. Why can't you eat pizza? Because.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Why?

[Nina Karufa]

Because I'm a skinny queen.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, prom queens.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Question. Other than extra large pizza in the oven is a weird way to put it. If you get a. Like a pizza that you cook at home, it's not sized.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, I think they try. I think it's probably an extra large pizza that they ordered and they tried to reheat it.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What a crazy idiots move. You're already drunk. Just eat it how it came. Yeah, it's at least warm. I've never.

[Aaron Berg]

Why would you have a cold pizza? Oh right, a full.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, a full cold pizza sounds crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I mean, guys, I feel like you're focused on the wrong part of this story. This is not that crazy to reheat a fucking pizza.

[Brendan Sagalo]

And are lava cakes coming as well?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I Somebody saying an extra large pizza I heated up is a weird size.

[Nina Karufa]

You're not focusing on the right part of the sentence. In the morning I was alive. Who drinks themselves to death?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Who's still alive?

[Aaron Berg]

I'm not.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So you know, I even. Even when I'm drinking, I'm not. And Jay will attest to this. I'm not like a get drunk and do stupid. I'm like a get drunk, go to sleep. I'm not forget a pizza in the oven. Wake up, be bit a little live.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I. When I was. If I was too drunk. If I was drunk enough that I was falling asleep, I wouldn't have put a pizza in the oven. I Also don't have a full extra large pizza sitting around.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay's not. Jay's not to get drunk like that. Jay gets like perfectly drunk to right here and that's that he doesn't get sloppy. Aaron used to get sloppy. The fact that there's a story involving like, Aaron's such a muscly dude. The fact that there's a story involving pizza is like a standout moment in his life. Just like a big moment.

[Aaron Berg]

Pizza is a thing for me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is also Aaron Burr. Every pizza is extra large. When you're that teeny tiny, I feel like every pizza is tiny. I go, oh, why am I getting this extra small pizza?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Everyone voted for Aaron.

[Aaron Berg]

Yep.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Alex, whose story was story number seven. Six, Whatever.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number six belongs to Aaron Burr.

[Aaron Berg]

Too easy.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That rules.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So, I mean, there's not much more to this story. Did we basically nail it?

[Aaron Berg]

I had a extra large pizza, I ordered it, it showed up cold. I was sleeping in like on a futon and I put the pizza in the stove.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Futon is actually Nina's cousin.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah. I woke up the next morning and the pizza was burnt to a crisp. And I thought I would have burnt the whole apartment down.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're like, grandpa, oh no, it's a pizza.

[Aaron Berg]

Nevermind, there's no fillings in you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, well, there we go. Pure racism. Alex, where are points at?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In last place with 8 points, Aaron Berg.

[Aaron Berg]

That went quick.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn. Shit changes. First to last shit changes. With double points quick.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In fourth place with 9 points, Nina Karufa.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nice.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In third place with 10 points, Luis J. Gomez. In second place with 11 points, Big J Okerson.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

You're all gay.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In the lead with 12 points points, Brendan Sago.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I mean, this is genuinely anybody's game. Super close game across the board. We have two more stories. You guys having a good time? Yeah. You're having a great time.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's up, story warriors?

[Big J Okerson]

Let's talk about who's sponsoring the show this week. And it is Ultra Pouches. If you're ready to level up and lock in, check out Ultra Pouches. They're designed for mental clarity, clarity and enhanced focus. They're nicotine free, caffeine free, and they keep you going with a blend of beneficial nootropics and vitamins. The Ultra Pouches get you focused and energized anytime, anywhere. It's the boost of a nicotine pouch without the side effects. No dizziness, no stomach rumbles. Just a delicious way to satisfy your cravings.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They do taste great, by the way. I Have a variety of them. I use them daily. So they have Alpha GPC in them and B12 which are two things that I was taking independently already. Right. But they have cool mint, wintergreen, tropical watermelon and all the all new blue rads. They taste really good, they give you a little buzz in your lip and you're getting the benefits of powerful nootropics. Look up Alpha gpc. It's a great product. I'm telling you right now. It makes you feel. It makes you feels like you're. You're lighting your brain on fire. That sounds bad. It feels like you're really sparking your brain up. Maybe that sounds bad too. It feels like your brain is falling out of your nose like a sludge. Nope, none of that. It makes you feel absolutely incredible. Super clear and focused. That's the biggest part of it as well. These are clinically proven ingredients. You don't have to take our word for it or you don't have to take Ultra pouches words for it. Do a little research and see if these are products that will work for you. But genuinely makes me feel great. If you ever see me with a patch in my mouth. That is an ultra pouch. Genuinely guilt free.

[Big J Okerson]

New customers with a bag in his mouth. It's my nuts.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh come on, dude. That's a different ad read. New customers can use Code wars with the zwarz to get 15 off at take ultra dot com. Take u l t r a dot com. Use that promo code wars w a r z for 15 off off.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What's up story warriors?

[Big J Okerson]

You know Father's Day is almost here. So get your father something he'll wear forever. From gld. They have everything you could need to make your dad happy. Chains, pendants, rings, earrings if he's cool. And watches with real gold in every piece. Handset stones. GLD pieces are high quality at an unbelievably good price. Stop letting all these people make you think they're getting hundreds of thousand dollar chains. It's ridiculous.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's crazy. All the rappers and athletes are wearing GLD pieces at this point. I have two pie myself that I wear. I have a Cuban links chain and another chain. That's great. I gave James a chain. We're going to Spain this year and we're going to be rocking GLD the entire time to truly fit in with the Spanish people.

[Big J Okerson]

You guys are going to be dealing pussy to each other left and right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

They have a custom shop which is great. They've done collabs with major sports teams and DC Comics as well. And every GLD product comes with a lifetime warranty, so you're never going to need it again. This is a great gift for your father. If you don't know what to get dad this year, this is the gift. Work hard and change the game.

[Aaron Berg]

Game.

[Luis J. Gomez]

For a limited time, Story warriors are getting an insane deal. This is a wild deal. If you go to gld.com gld3letters.com and use the code wars with Z W, A, R, Z, you're getting 40 off your entire order today. That's a dollar saved. It's a dollar earned. Go earn [e-mail] 40 off with the promo code wars with a [e-mail]. all right, where were we?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alex?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Story number seven.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number seven. I was once ejected from a big music festival. I snuck back in by squeezing under a fence on the perimeter.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Well, I think we already know who it's not.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Climbing under a fence is great.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I've never squeezed under a fence in my entire life.

[Nina Karufa]

These two are totally out.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Lewis is the energy that would do this, but at the time that he would have had to do this, I was big boy. He was at his fattest problem.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I will say I can dislocate my bones like a rat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's true. He does. He does have mouse bones.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think this is.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They fold into themselves.

[Nina Karufa]

Why do you think it was me? My big old titties would run fit.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Not if you're going tits underground.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Also, let's not forget that gigantic back nipple you have. That would also catch on the fence

[Luis J. Gomez]

if it said I was once ejected from a big musical festival on October 7th, and then I snuck back. Then I would think it's Nina, but that's not what it says.

[Aaron Berg]

Get your parachute out of here.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm so sorry.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm trying to enjoy ATM music.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I was ejected from the.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, James, look. That girl's titties from before.

[Nina Karufa]

I actually didn't get invited to that, so.

[Aaron Berg]

But that's enough, I think for the fat guys. The only thing they squeeze is mayonnaise packets.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

More of a ketchup guy, but sure.

[Aaron Berg]

Okay.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What the hell?

[Aaron Berg]

I know Jay loves music festivals.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do.

[Aaron Berg]

But he usually works at said music festivals.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, not that I work. I'm just, like I said, almost like before. Like, I'm so afraid. I'm like the guy who gives the cop asking the name, like, the right name every time. I'm like that guy. So if I was ejected from the festival, I'd be like, I'm so, like, I fucked up so big. Like I would not even think to get back in.

[Nina Karufa]

Why'd you get ejected?

[Brendan Sagalo]

It doesn't feel like you to like walk.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Be like, I'm lucky that I probably just got ejected and not arrested and like. All right.

[Luis J. Gomez]

At a time when big J would have to sneak back into a festival once again. Similarly to me. There's a reason he's big. Jokerson. You were over 300 pounds. There's no squeezing under a fence.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Under a fence.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's crazy.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Better chance you guys get under me and just build a wall. People shoving me over the fence. Or maybe you get a Magnus for Magnuson type guy. You can grab me and throw me over like a world strongest man.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And I mean this is similarity between us. If there's a fence, we're not getting back in over, under. It's just not happening. And Brandon, you haven't always been as big. You were a little bit when I, when I met you, you were a lot smaller.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Nina Karufa]

What happened?

[Brendan Sagalo]

Depression. I, yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Stand up comedian. This business.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And you, you're, you're like a punk rock, hip hop kid. Like, you probably went to a lot of.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You like music. I've, but I, I, I've never gotten ejected from anything.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You don't seem like the energy that

[Brendan Sagalo]

would be a J. I mean like I've gone to music festivals.

[Luis J. Gomez]

No, that's not.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know how to.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You were a little punk ass when you were a teenager. You've talked about.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I was, but this isn't me. I swear.

[Nina Karufa]

I was definitely Aaron.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think it's Nina because she keeps saying it's somebody else and I. You keep saying that. So it's neat.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that is the game. So it's making me think now. That was crazy. She keeps saying it's everybody but herself. Starting to make me think.

[Brendan Sagalo]

She's starting to make me think because it, it just feels like why would

[Nina Karufa]

I get ejected from a music festival

[Brendan Sagalo]

for, you know, smoking weed and, and drinking and it, you know. And you're not.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Depends what the festival was. Yeah. If it was kissed. Two of those guys are Jewish.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah. Maybe Guns and Roses was on stage and you yelled allahu Akbar.

[Nina Karufa]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Was it when you went and then Sabrina Carpenter yelled at you.

[Nina Karufa]

That white bitch. And you did it right.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

This is America now. Here's a song about my wet.

[Nina Karufa]

No, your tongue is supposed to go vertical. Not that way. It's supposed to go like this.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wait, show us.

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah, show us like that. No, Vertical. You're all racist.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wait, side to side?

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, you're supposed to do the alpha bat.

[Nina Karufa]

Isn't that when you're eating?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. I just thought outlier people were smelling what the Rock was cooking. If they smell. What the Rock is cooking. This is Lewis.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I guess I'm getting Brendan Sago vibes.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm getting Aaron vibes. Vibes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Louis's de degenerate friends would have sit there and they would have as fat men themselves, would have pulled that fence up as high as possible to get their goth leader back in.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No. L. I know, but Lewis seems like someone who would climb a fence.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nope. You're crazy.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I think that's why I got into this country.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I think I got. I. I think I can handle this. Lewis, is this you?

[Luis J. Gomez]

No.

[Nina Karufa]

Aaron, is it you?

[Aaron Berg]

No, and I don't think it's Jay because he would not risk ripping his FUBU gear back.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're right, guy. Those clothes were like $300 a shirt.

[Aaron Berg]

I am going to go with Nina because she seems like a habitual rule breaker that then tries to make up for breaking those rules.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Interesting.

[Nina Karufa]

Are you saying I'm a criminal?

[Brendan Sagalo]

This isn't really criminal behavior. Nina, was this you?

[Nina Karufa]

No.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nina. Damn.

[Aaron Berg]

Damn.

[Nina Karufa]

It wasn't me.

[Brendan Sagalo]

He fell for the oldest trick in the book.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Brennan Sagaro vibes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What kind of music you listen to? Like, what's your Arab music?

[Nina Karufa]

Cuz I'm an Arab.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Is it really?

[Nina Karufa]

Yes.

[Aaron Berg]

Goats coming.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Dude, you haven't heard that banger.

[Nina Karufa]

Why do you assume we're into it?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I will say that.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Dude. I don't know. I only heard the Pitbull cover of that. I actually didn't know it was a cover.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Once in a while you'll, You'll. I'll get into like a. An Uber. And the Uber driver will be listening to an Arab podcast. Podcast. Arab podcasts Sound like they're coming for us.

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah, Arab.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

They're coming for us. But they're coming for us. While the women shut the up and stay at home.

[Nina Karufa]

Now, Arabic is very aggressive.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Nina Karufa]

I I. As someone who speaks fluent Arabic, it's a lot.

[Luis J. Gomez]

All right, well, me. All right, Jay, I'm telling you. But it wasting your vote, but I'm

[Lewis J. Gomez]

telling you it doesn't matter. It's already locked. The tablets locky and wear.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nice broken, though.

[Aaron Berg]

You got to make you smaller.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Zip.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Good job.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Hey, that was cool.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Frank. We got to fix that. Alex, all of our answers are in story number seven.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Belongs to Lewis J. Oh,

[Luis J. Gomez]

you son of a scumbag. It was Oz Fest 98.

[Nina Karufa]

How old are you, you fucking boomer?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm 44 years old. OzFest 98. And I'll tell you what happened. So Limp Bizkit was playing. You'll know the story when I tell the story. Now Limp Bizkit was playing. They did it. They did a thing where that. A giant toilet on the stage, and they were. Have the. The members from Backstreet Boys and NSYNC would come out of it and, like, it was like, during a time where it was like, yo.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, like they were turds.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And then Fred Durst disappeared into the toilet and then randomly, randomly showed up in the crowd. Like a magic trick. It was like he was in the toilet, then he's right next to me in the crowd, and I was like, oh, it's Fredericks right here. And he's rapping. He's like, it's all for the nookie. Then I grabbed his red hat off his head and I went. I got a set and I started running. Security tackled me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You instinctually went, hispanic criminal.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I grabbed his.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You go, oh, my God, Frederic. Here, let me take something from him. That's insane.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

What are you, Robin Hood?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. Then I started running. Security tackled me. They gave him back his hat, and then they dragged me out. Now, I had never seen System of a Downer Incubus before. I'd heard they were going to be fucking ridiculous. They were on the second stage, and I was like, I have to get back in. So I scaled the perimeter of the PNC Bank Art center, right? I found a fence, guys. This fence, whatever it was, the way the ground was, it came up. There must have been 3ft of space below this fence. I mean, I could have literally fucking limboed under the fence. It was. Was so high. And I just went under the fence, went back in, met my friends, got to see System of a Down, which was the coolest experience of my life. They became my favorite band. Turkey and Turkey do it. System of second stage was System of A Down, Incubus, the Melvins, Snot. It was such a great second.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I just saw Marilyn Manson last week, and he looks great.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Stop saying that.

[Aaron Berg]

How many Ra.

[Nina Karufa]

Doesn't he rape?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, no. That was literally. No, his music's good enough. That. That was lies.

[Luis J. Gomez]

You're just listening to God. I don't know, Alex. Where are points at all, right?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In last place with eight points, Aaron Berg.

[Aaron Berg]

I took a big dip

[Alex (Story Reader)]

in fourth place with 12 points, Brendan Sagolo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Damn, damn,

[Aaron Berg]

damn.

[Brendan Sagalo]

That's easy.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Third place with 13 points, Nina Karufa. In second place with 14 points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, I'm pissed for some reason.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

And in first place with 15 points,

[Nina Karufa]

Big J oversen

[Lewis J. Gomez]

from the slums of Sheldon.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This could be a legendary evening.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I was. I was last.

[Nina Karufa]

This is so not fair,

[Lewis J. Gomez]

people. I am going to spend all night reading White Fear. How the Browning of America is Making White Folks Lose Their Minds. Nationally renowned liberal journalist and award winning author, Rolling Martin bravely calls out politicians who run slogans like Take the country back. And the current media coverage wrongly paints immigration as a threat. His conclusion is clear. The danger isn't the country changing. It's how far some people are willing to go to stop it. Wake up, white people. White Fear. How the branding of America is Making white Folks lose their mind. We are down to our final story. Alex. Story number eight.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Story number eight. My high school graduation was held outside. A bad thunderstorm started and everyone scattered violently through a muddy field. My oldest family member had to be lifted over a fence. Also, my uncle kissed me on the mouth.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Now this has gotta be Nina. What?

[Nina Karufa]

That's outrageous.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's gotta be Nina.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Gotta be Nina.

[Luis J. Gomez]

What is the big thing here?

[Nina Karufa]

The rape.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

High school graduation is a big thing deal.

[Nina Karufa]

No, it's not.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Literally everyone graduates high school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

That's not true. Yeah, you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

You really don't know your fans, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Alienated half the listeners.

[Nina Karufa]

So I don't know.

[Brendan Sagalo]

What's that?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Aaron's like. Did you say bank? I mean my high school. My high school graduation held outside, bad thunderstorms started and everyone scattered violently through a muddy flood field.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Muddy field is weird. That could be where you're from.

[Aaron Berg]

I mean, this concert Lewis snuck into could have also been his high school graduation.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's possible. It is possible.

[Aaron Berg]

Kissed me on the mouth.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Aaron does have molested by his uncle vibes.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I do.

[Aaron Berg]

And it. It was a fear of mine straight through high school.

[Nina Karufa]

Is that why you started stripping?

[Aaron Berg]

Well, no. I started stripping because I'm secretly gay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Do they call high school high school in Canada?

[Aaron Berg]

They call it later years.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luis J. Gomez]

The second secondary school.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah. After elementary, they call it high school. Okay.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I don't know, man.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

The toughie I was between. I said Brendan at first, and then I clicked over to Aaron.

[Nina Karufa]

You look like your older family members would come to your high school graduation because it's the best you could do in life.

[Aaron Berg]

A.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, he had. Jeez, that was weird.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He had Nina Came up to me, she was like. She's like, I hope everyone's nice to me. And then she's the meanest person I've ever met in my entire life.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Br. Your little dick. What do you think I should dish it out?

[Nina Karufa]

I can't take it.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Brandon, you said you have a big family.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I do.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Well, that you had big birthday parties.

[Brendan Sagalo]

My uncle never kissed me. My family, we're Irish. We don't say I love or hug or kiss.

[Aaron Berg]

It's like we just. In the butt.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

We just leave.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Middle of the night, me in my butt.

[Aaron Berg]

Happy St. Patty's Day.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You get the old. If you tell, we'll both be in trouble.

[Aaron Berg]

You want to stay at this church, don't you, Brendan? It's a very nice parish.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, I'll slip you a little bit of tongue, Brandon.

[Aaron Berg]

Oh, look at your butthole perishing under the punishment of my dick.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This is your biggest day. Let me congratulate.

[Aaron Berg]

Let's watch boondock scenes while you cry.

[Nina Karufa]

No one could be that funny unless they have severe trauma.

[Aaron Berg]

That's. Thank you.

[Nina Karufa]

He got kissed by his uncle.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Complimenting him, he called me.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah, the uncle kissed me in the mouth of the very.

[Nina Karufa]

No, that was rude.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nobody could be as funny as Aaron. Brennan, you're gay. I thought nothing would be nice to you.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Brennan, you're a fat little gay piggy boy who gets molested. You damn. You little. That was my impression of Nina.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm going to say it's Mia Khalifa

[Aaron Berg]

over here

[Lewis J. Gomez]

who no longer no longer does pornography.

[Nina Karufa]

No longer I'd like to consider myself like Teemu version of Mia Khalifa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Nice. That's cheaper.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Nobody here knows Teemu.

[Aaron Berg]

This is tough.

[Nina Karufa]

It has to be Aaron. I thought why he was had high sex drive. He's super funny, which means he was traumatized. It's giving a lot of. I was kissed my. By my uncle.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Okay, Being kissed by your uncle, that does that. What does that mean? When you're a senior in high school, being kissed by your uncle, it's not among. Congratulations.

[Aaron Berg]

Congratulations.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, it's a little congratulations, little tongue.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're only the second person to graduate in our family.

[Aaron Berg]

Oh, I'm so glad you don't have facial hair yet. Oh, it's like kissing a girl. You're a girl, aren't you, Jay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, you're. You're thick like your father.

[Aaron Berg]

Oh, Jay, I'm so much better than your stepdad, aren't I?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

My stepfather was general.

[Luis J. Gomez]

See, when. When I hear the word scattered violently through a muddy field. That is, you know, as Arab as it gets. I mean, Jesus Christ, what the does

[Nina Karufa]

mud have to do with being Arab?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Well, I'm assuming it's a lot of dirt. When it starts raining, it turns into mud, Nina.

[Nina Karufa]

No, it's a lot of sand. We're Arabs.

[Brendan Sagalo]

No, no, no, no. That's good. That's a.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna lock it in.

[Nina Karufa]

What do you.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think this is Brendan Sagolo.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Me.

[Big J Okerson]

I think you have a family.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I think you have an affectionate family. I think.

[Nina Karufa]

Wait, who are you voting for? Aaron.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Every time someone votes for me, I

[Aaron Berg]

mean, I think it's. I think they have different laws in those countries where an uncle kissing you is acceptable.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna go.

[Aaron Berg]

Nina.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You think they took out Uncle Sl. Husband.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

No, you.

[Nina Karufa]

Who are you voting for?

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm thinking this might be Big J.

[Nina Karufa]

I mean, I'm voting Big J or Aaron.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wait, hold on. Wait. Jay, did you. You graduated high school. Did you go to your graduation?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Was it in a big money field?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No.

[Nina Karufa]

I feel like. I feel like Lewis would know if it was Jay or not, if he got molested. Because you all are best friends, so

[Alex (Story Reader)]

you're trying to throw us uncle kissing

[Luis J. Gomez]

you on the mouth? It just depends on the type of. Like, I'm Puerto Rican.

[Aaron Berg]

Our.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Our uncles kiss us directly on our mouths and dicks.

[Nina Karufa]

That's weird.

[Luis J. Gomez]

That's nothing.

[Aaron Berg]

No, that's how they pass the balloons of heroin in prison.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Lewis.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

One time, Lewis woke up on his 8th birthday getting butterfly kisses on his. From an Uncle Louis sell.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This. Luis. Congratulations.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Oh, what is this?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Graduation.

[Aaron Berg]

Fatos Locos forever.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Feliz.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Feliz graduation.

[Aaron Berg]

I got you a pit bull, too.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Feliz graduation.

[Nina Karufa]

The big thing. Being molested. Is that the big thing?

[Luis J. Gomez]

Jay, who did you. Who did you vote for?

[Nina Karufa]

Brendan.

[Luis J. Gomez]

So I'm going to play the game right now because if I vote for Brendan as well, I'm getting a Brendan or a Big J vibe. But if I vote for Brendan, well, I can't beat you. So if I get it right, I can beat you.

[Brendan Sagalo]

I'm telling you, man.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Unless it's Big J and nobody votes for him, you idiots.

[Aaron Berg]

He can beat you like his uncle

[Lewis J. Gomez]

did with his tongue.

[Luis J. Gomez]

I'm going. Big J Okerson. I think it's Brendan. But I gotta play the game a little bit here.

[Nina Karufa]

I'm going big. Yeah, Jay.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Ooh, ooh.

[Nina Karufa]

Yeah.

[Aaron Berg]

Jay got kissed by his uncle.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You wish, Alex.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

The final story of the night belongs to Big J Okerson.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Good job.

[Brendan Sagalo]

Job.

[Aaron Berg]

That was great. Wow.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah, Big J, who is this uncle that molested you guys?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You're overthinking the uncle thing. Oh, it was Uncle Cracker. I just. I just do the things. It's funny, cuz it also happened at the beginning of my graduation. Before the rain came, my uncle ran up to me. My dad's stepbrother, my uncle. But it's one of the closest uncles I have.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's not even real. It's not blood. You could fuck him.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

It's totally fine.

[Luis J. Gomez]

It's fine.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But he just. But he was like. He's like, on my dad's side of the family. So he goes over there and he starts being like, purposefully, like, trying to embarrass me. And I'm kind of giving. I'm doing the wrong move by.

[Luis J. Gomez]

And just.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Instead of just steering into it. I only went to one year of this school, and I'm graduating from there, so I'm kind of doing, like, the. Please lay low. And he goes, no, he goes, hey, this Jew boy is my nephew.

[Luis J. Gomez]

This Jew boy who's your uncle? Nina Karufa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yes. And then he started fucking kissing me on the mouth after making a scene on Purple.

[Nina Karufa]

God, that's. Did you press charges?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

No, I got it. It was funny. Uncle Tommy's a card. And also, he told me if. That If I tell, we'll both get in trouble.

[Nina Karufa]

So, so insane.

[Luis J. Gomez]

He said he'd kill your parents.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He said he would kill my parents. And I still believe to this day. God damn it. Abducted in plain sight. He said. The alien said we have to hook up.

[Nina Karufa]

Are you okay?

[Lewis J. Gomez]

I'm fine. I'm fine. Uncle Tommy's still around. I give him money. Weirdly, I.

[Nina Karufa]

This is insane. Yeah.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

But. Yeah, it started storming during my high school graduation. Everybody, like. It went nuts. Like, nobody was. Like. It wasn't a calm. Like. All right, everybody, the rain's coming, so we're gonna move this inside of the thing. Go. Everybody get a thing. It's like metal bleachers. It's outside of, like, a football field. And we had to hand my grandmother. We had to pass her over a fucking fence. And her weird girdle showed. And you could see her. Oh, God, it wasn't even hot.

[Nina Karufa]

Aaronberg is jerking off under the table by.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

He's almost done.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Let him finish, Alex. I. I genuinely don't know who won. I have no idea where the points are at. Where are points at?

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Well, in last place with eight points, Aaron Berg.

[Aaron Berg]

Thank you for having me. Was a blast.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In fourth place, with 12 points, Brendan Sagalo.

[Aaron Berg]

Yeah.

[Brendan Sagalo]

God damn it. Can Never win.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

In third place with 17 points, Nina Karufa.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Yeah,

[Nina Karufa]

I'll take it. Third place.

[Alex (Story Reader)]

Second place scored 18 points. And your winner tonight with 19 points, Big J. Okerson.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Wow.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

You were here. You were here for one of the nights. Oh, my God. I'm taking home white fear. How the Browning of America is making white Folks lose their mind by Roland S. Martin. This is so amazing. I can't thank you all enough. This is absolutely amazing. It's been a while again since I had a little dynasty for a minute.

[Luis J. Gomez]

Yeah. And you were in last place the whole game.

[Lewis J. Gomez]

Thank you. Double points. I liked my points in twos. I like my nipples in threes. Thank you all so much. I can't wait to take. This belongs now to the to the Story Wars Library. How about a big round of applause for our amazing panel. The great Aaron Berg, the great Brendan Sagolo, the great Nina Karufa. Thank you guys so much for hanging out with us at Story Wars. We're here every week at New York Comedy Club. Until next time, everybody. Peace. Thank you.

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