102. Joe DeRosa, Sam Tripoli, Lauren Compton | Betrayal

Summary

Story Warz Episode 102: “Betrayal”

Guests: Joe DeRosa, Sam Tripoli, Lauren Compton

Date: July 17, 2026 | Location: Comedy Mothership, Austin, TX

Host/Panel: Big Jay Oakerson, Luis J. Gomez, special guest narrator Tim Butterly

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Episode Overview

The central theme of this chaotic and hilarious live episode is "betrayal." Comedians Big Jay Oakerson and Luis J. Gomez bring their signature raucous, roast-heavy style alongside Joe DeRosa, Sam Tripoli, and Lauren Compton for a competitive night of the “Story Warz” game—a live, comedic twist on “Two Truths and a Lie.” Contestants submit stories around the theme. Each round, a story is read, and the panel must guess who wrote it, aiming for points by deceiving one another and guessing correctly.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Guest Introductions and Banter

• [02:05] The hosts roast and welcome each guest, with standout banter about Lauren Compton's pregnancy, Sam Tripoli's prior appearance, and Joe DeRosa’s indecision about showing up.
  • Luis to Lauren: “You look way fatter in person than you do on the show.”
  • Lauren leans in: “I feel fat.” (02:51)

2. Game Explanation

• [05:59] Big Jay and Luis explain the rules: Everyone submits stories about betrayal. Stories are read anonymously. If you deceive the group about your own story, you get points; guessing correctly gets more points. Winner takes home a copy of Dallas, 1963.

3. Opening Roasts & Gender Jokes

• Throughout, Lauren frequently endures (and deflects) a barrage of pregnancy and “hot chick” jokes, often with just enough deadpan to imbalance the boys' teasing.
  • Lauren: “I don’t work, this can’t possibly be me.” (12:40)
  • Joe: “All you have to do is sit there and try not to get a boner for an hour.” (09:47)

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Story Segments (Main Game Content)

Story 1: Making Fun of a Manager’s Stutter at a First Job

[10:30–17:41]

• After playful accusations, the panel converges on Joe DeRosa as the culprit.
  • Alex (Announcer): “Story number one belongs to Joe DeRosa.” (16:20)
  • Joe: “It was Little Caesar’s Pizza and my manager… would make fun of me for still being a virgin at 14.” (16:57)

Memorable moment:

• Luis: “Do you think he stuttered because he said it was ‘pizza pizza’?”
• Joe: “We crushed his soul that day…” (17:20–17:39)

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Story 2: Betrayed by a Friend Hooking up with Someone I Had Feelings For

[18:23–24:28]

• The panel nearly unanimously pegs Lauren, but Jay exposes it as a real piece of “Skanks” lore between him and Luis—Jay once hooked up with an unattractive girl Luis liked.
  • Alex: “Story number two belongs to Luis J. Gomez.” (23:37)
  • Luis: “That slut… You ate her ugly pussy. It was insane. Why would you do that to me?” (24:00)
• Jay’s confession: “She wasn’t prepared for company… just know it was lust.” (24:08)

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Story 3: First Openly Gay Friend Deep-Throated a Bong

[29:36–33:15]

• Sam Tripoli admits ownership; panel riffs on the betrayal as shock rather than malice.
  • Alex: “Story number three belongs to Sam Tripoli.” (33:15)
  • Sam: “He sucked off the bong, that’s the betrayal.” (33:26)

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Story 4: Best Friend Slept with My Partner at My Parents’ House While I Was Out

[36:47–43:55]

• Despite strong suspicion of Lauren, Big Jay quietly claims it—his girlfriend lived with him at his parents and likely cheated while he was away doing standup.
  • Alex: “Story number four belongs to Big J Okerson.” (41:48)
  • Jay: “Right after high school, girlfriend moved in with me at my mom’s… started doing comedy… and then they were just sitting on the couch one night. So they probably [did it].” (42:26–43:38)
• Joe: “Jay comes from trash and they just let all the kids hang at the house.” (42:16)

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(Halftime: Plugs, Ads, and Double-Points Rule Announced)

[45:20–49:39]

• Panel takes a break for comedian plugs, jokes about using the N-word, and explanations of coming show tapings.

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Story 5: Racing a Cop at a Red Light

[50:09–56:50]

• Lauren’s hot-chick confidence pays off: she beats a cop in her “sports car,” only to get a ticket and the cop’s number.
  • Alex: “Story number five belongs to Lauren Compton.” (54:17)
  • Lauren: “…I smoked his ass and went all the way through. And then he went whoop whoop and pulled me over and gave me a ticket and his number.” (55:47)

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Story 6: Kicked out of Church Band for Satanic T-Shirt

[60:46–65:45]

• Everyone is thrown off, but it turns out to be Luis—with his adolescent “Marilyn Manson phase” getting him bounced from church youth group band.
  • Alex: “Story number six belongs to Luis J. Gomez.” (64:22)
  • Luis: “I was in a church band… I’d already given up on God… I used to wear Marilyn Manson t-shirts… the director was like ‘Turn your shirt inside out’ and I was like, ‘I’m not.’” (64:45)

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Story 7: Got Drunk, Hit On Friend’s Spouse

[67:51–74:59]

• Joe owns this one, per his “vile, horrendous” brand. He reveals he even wrote about it for Penthouse and is still ashamed.
  • Alex: “Story number seven belongs to Joe DeRosa.” (73:26)
  • Joe: “I was very embarrassed… It was the worst mistake I ever made.” (73:59)

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Story 8: Friend on Acid and Shrooms Tried to Hump Me, Kicked Him Out of Van

[76:52–81:50]

• Sam's wild history gives this away: it’s a real story from a Nevada road show, ending with the tripping friend being physically ejected from the moving vehicle—never to be seen again.
  • Alex: “Story number eight belongs to Sam Tripoli.” (80:00)
  • Sam: “We were doing a gig in Pahrump, Nevada… My friend Matt does two hits of liquid acid… grabs the mushrooms… buck naked jerking off… trying to get me pregnant, dude… We open the door, kick him into the darkness, never heard from him again.” (80:15–81:50)

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Notable Quotes & Irreverent Moments

• Luis (on betrayal): "You betrayed my trust. Betrayal?" (25:05)
• Big Jay (on panel’s empathy): "We’re all trash. Garbage, dude. But this ain’t my trash." (72:43)
• Lauren (deadpan): “I don’t work. This can’t possibly be me.” (12:40)
• Joe (on his shame): "I'm not proud of it. I would not like to talk about it any further." (73:46)
• Sam (on the acid friend): "He gets up, and he starts trying to get me pregnant, dude... we kick him out into the darkness. Never heard from him again." (81:17–81:50)
• Luis (to Lauren): “Pregnant women are so hot.” (72:03)

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Final Scores (as announced)

[82:07]

• 1st: Luis J. Gomez – 23 points
• 2nd: Big J Okerson – 17 points
• 3rd: Joe DeRosa – 14 points
• 4th: Lauren Compton – 12 points
• 5th: Sam Tripoli – 8 points

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Memorable Themes and Running Gags

• Nonstop Roasting: Especially between Luis, Jay, Joe, and Lauren—fertile ground for “hot chick,” “trash upbringing,” and “male scumbag” jokes.
• Pregnancy Jokes: The panel is both lecherous and in awe of Lauren Compton’s pregnancy.
• Meta-humor: The format and rules are constantly riffed on, mocked, and subverted, as is the game’s supposed simplicity.
• 'Hot Girl Gets Away With It'/‘Dude’s a Scumbag’ motif: Many stories or guesses rely on the “bad guy” or “hot girl” archetypes the group ascribes to each other.

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Listener Takeaways

• Even without seeing the game, you’ll catch running bits about betrayal’s prevalence in their lives and careers—often played for laughs but sometimes sincerely regretful.
• The “game of deception” is really a showcase for each performer’s comedic reflexes and self-deprecation.
• The show’s mix of honest confessions and over-the-top invention makes for unpredictable laughs and deep group chemistry.

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Episode’s Energy & Tone

Raucous, brutally honest, irreverent, and unfiltered. The competitive story game reveals as much about each panelist’s comic persona as it does about their pasts—making for a uniquely funny, sometimes cringe-inducing hour that’s as much roast battle as storytelling showcase.

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Guest Introductions: 02:05–05:55
• Rules & Game Setup: 05:59–07:41
• Story #1 (DeRosa/stutter): 10:30–17:41
• Story #2 (Luis/comedy betrayal): 18:23–24:28
• Story #3 (Sam/gay bong): 29:36–33:15
• Story #4 (Jay/friend slept with girlfriend): 36:47–43:55
• Halftime/Plugs: 45:20–49:39
• Story #5 (Lauren/races cop): 50:09–56:50
• Story #6 (Luis/church band): 60:46–65:45
• Story #7 (DeRosa/hitting on friend’s wife): 67:51–74:59
• Story #8 (Sam/acid van): 76:52–81:50
• Final Scores/Wrap: 82:07–83:17

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Final Thoughts

Story Warz balances cringe-inducing confessions and over-the-top comedic jabs, using the “betrayal” theme as a jumping-off point for both real and fabricated shame, laughs, and juicy personal tales. A showcase of quick wit, brutal honesty, and comics trying to top—and roast—each other at every turn.

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For more: Subscribe to Gas Digital for unedited, early access, and more Story Warz insanity.

Transcript

[Louis J. Gomez]

Before we start the show Story warriors, you should know that me and Big J Okerson are coming to you on the road. I am on the Rattle Me this tour, coming to a city near you. This weekend, I will be in Denver. Comedy works south. July 24th and 25th. First time going to the Comedy Works, so let's fill that up. After that, I have Lafayette, Louisiana, Lake Charles, Louisiana, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, Portland, Maine, and more. Go to my website, LewisOfScanks.com to grab

[Big J Okerson]

tickets and you can go to BigJ Comedy.com for my tour dates. I am currently on the Greatest Yapper Alive tour, Winnipeg, Canada, for the Great outdoors Festival, Richmond, Virginia. Funny Bone. After that, Royal Oak, Michigan. Comedy Castle. First time back there in years. Albany, New York. Funny Bone. Check me out. BigJComedy.com Fill her up.

[Joe DeRosa]

You're listening to the Gas Digital Network.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Ladies and gentlemen, live from the Comedy Mothership in Austin, Texas.

[Tim Butterly]

In story wars with the Story Warriors,

[Louis J. Gomez]

Big J Okerson and Lewis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Louis, sit down. You've already broken so many things backstage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Just hearts, you know. What up, Austin? How you guys feeling? Show number two. Show number two, sold out right here at the Comedy Mothership, Austin, Texas. How exciting is this, Jay?

[Big J Okerson]

It's very, very exciting. How many people here are familiar with the game Story wars

[Louis J. Gomez]

and who is not familiar with the game story Wars?

[Big J Okerson]

Stupid, stupid pieces of what?

[Louis J. Gomez]

We don't like new fans. We'll never grow.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, it's a very simple game if you've never seen it before. It's your first time listening at home. We'll explain it after we get our amazing panel of contestants up here now. You guys ready for your contestants? Our first guest coming the stage. You know her from the first Dates with Lauren Compton podcast on the YMH Network. Make some noise for the lovely Lauren Compton.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lauren, so happy to have you on the show. Now, I gotta be honest with you. You look way fatter in person than you do on the show.

[Big J Okerson]

No babies having babies.

[Lauren Compton]

I feel fat.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, you look great. You're a very hot pregnant woman. I really am into this. This is the Latino side of me. I'm like rock right now. I'm not even kidding about this. Feel it? You feel it?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

He's not kidding.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude.

[Lauren Compton]

I think I can fit in your sweatshirts now, Jay.

[Big J Okerson]

Yes, Finally. That's gonna look pretty hot.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Our next competitor coming to the stage, a returning story war competitor. You guys know him from the Tinfoil Hat podcast, and he's filming a special this weekend for Gas Digital. Clap it up for Sam. Trip. What up, everybody? Sam, happy to have you back on the show. Last time you had an embarrassing performance, you weren't able to.

[Sam Tripoli]

I should have won. Yeah, I'm just gonna go with Loose is the story every time. If it involves that's kind of homosexuality, I'm just gonna assume it's Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, that's what I do. And I failed a lot. But once in a while, the gay thing is Louis. Last but not least, our final contestant, everyone. You know him from his special I never promised you a rose garden, available on YouTube and his new podcast. How about it for the vile, horrendous Joe derosa? Very nice, Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They love you.

[Joe DeRosa]

That was very nice. I can't believe I almost canceled this at the last minute.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You really did. Joe was doing the show, then not doing the show, then doing the show.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, Louis, you bother me and

[Big J Okerson]

someone's got to draw a line.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm happy to be here.

[Big J Okerson]

Thanks. This is awesome. Yeah, this is awesome.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And I'll say we've been doing this once. We're in places like Austin. We were in Los Angeles last week for the Netflix is a joke festival.

[Lauren Compton]

We.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We do this all over the world. We do it at comedy festivals. And once in a while, we go to a place where we have a lot of friends in town. And everyone loves doing story wars. So we're going to bring up a very special guest narrator for today's show. Ladies and gentlemen, also filming a half hour special this weekend. You guys know him from the Tim Butterley Show. Put your hands together for Tim Butter.

[Tim Butterly]

Hey, thanks for having me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tim. We. We love having you here. We're very excited. I'm just not sure. Can you read? You're from Kensington.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, I can read, dude. How do you. I'm the number two all time points leader on this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Story. Story warrior Tim Butterly.

[Big J Okerson]

If it is your first time listening at home or your first time here at the show, it's a very simple game. Story wars. All five of us on this panel, including Louis and I, have submitted three to five stories on one particular subject. Tonight's subject, betrayal.

[Lauren Compton]

Ooh,

[Big J Okerson]

I still don't know. I still don't know. Alex, our lovely producer, is going to read off eight of those stories one at a time. They will appear here on the screen. If it's your story, you're the only person who knows that. It's your job to make people think it's not your story. If it's not your story, it's your job to guess whose story it is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, It's Tim reading the stories. He's very offended you called him Alex.

[Big J Okerson]

Still lovely and vivacious.

[Tim Butterly]

Like, I can take a hint, dude,

[Big J Okerson]

I want you here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Every time you get the story correctly, you get two points. Every time you fool the person on the panel, you get one point. So when it is your story up there, that is a huge opportunity. You do not want to squander it. You can get four points. When it's your story. Once you put your answer in the tablet and slide over the slider and put that tablet in this dry. This little thing right here, that is your final answer. You cannot change your answer. And I'll tell you right now, we're gonna have so much fun tonight. Anybody was at the earlier show, you guys had a lot of fun, right? If you watch the show, we're gonna have a lot of fun, sir. You don't even know what you're in for. It's gonna be so much fun. But guess what, sir, we're not playing for fun. Jay, let them know what we're playing for today.

[Big J Okerson]

Fun can suck our dicks. It's not about that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Fun.

[Big J Okerson]

Fun. This week's winner takes home Dallas, 1963. By Bill Minutaglio and Stephen L. Davis. Those old cats. Dallas, 1963 presents a clear, cinematic and revelatory look at the assassination of President John F. Kennedy, the shocking tragedy that transformed America. Countless authors have attempted to explain the assassination, but no one has ever bothered to explain Dallas until now.

[Sam Tripoli]

So dramatic.

[Big J Okerson]

Dallas, 1963.

[Sam Tripoli]

Man, there's a real betrayal in that thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Too goddamn right.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah. There we go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's the theme, baby.

[Big J Okerson]

That's the theme of the show. I think everybody who gets it is gonna get it. And if you don't get it, you'll figure it out along the way. Is this crowd ready for war?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Austin, Texas, comedy mother. Are you ready for war?

[Big J Okerson]

Now, without any further ado, Tim. Story number one.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number one.

[Big J Okerson]

Who's that bitch? Pipe down. Men are talking.

[Tim Butterly]

J. She made it very clear. She said, I'm gonna say story number whatever. And then you read and you just. Well, we had the entire.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We had Tony as a guest narrator, the last one, and. And we were like, alex, story number one. He's like, story number one. I'm going to say it. It's my turn to say it.

[Big J Okerson]

Fuck it. Fuck bitches, get money. Tony Hinchcliffe.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is. By the way, this is very complicated, the whole thing. The only reason it's funny is backstage, Lauren was asking Louis questions, and he goes, it's the easiest podcast you'll ever do and then rattled off 10 minutes of rules.

[Sam Tripoli]

Don'.

[Big J Okerson]

And then in the event of a

[Sam Tripoli]

three way tie, we bring in a

[Tim Butterly]

separate story warrior for one round only.

[Joe DeRosa]

Alex must announce the story now.

[Tim Butterly]

If the game's taking place on a

[Sam Tripoli]

Tuesday in August, then that's different.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you're not going to worry about it tonight.

[Big J Okerson]

But if we don't have order, we have chaos.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is going to be so easy, Lauren. Even a pregnant woman can do it.

[Joe DeRosa]

Gosh, he's so hot. You're going to there, but please observe decorum. Lauren has the easiest podcast. All you have to do is sit there and try not to get a boner for an hour.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You got to sit there and pretend a woman is interesting and funny.

[Big J Okerson]

I try to finish early, then we get down to the nitty gritty. I go now. What were you asking me about again?

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, Alex, stop creeping.

[Sam Tripoli]

Little list.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's hot, she's pregnant, she takes cumming

[Tim Butterly]

well, so does Joe, but you're leaving him alone.

[Lauren Compton]

Hey.

[Tim Butterly]

Hey. Story number one. At my first job, I had a manager with a really bad stutter. One day, my friend and I were on the on phone duty and answered the phone repeatedly, mimicking him. He could see and hear us and knew what we were doing. We were laughing so hard we almost got fired. But it was worth the betrayal.

[Big J Okerson]

Betrayal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They got the word betrayal in, so it counts.

[Big J Okerson]

He took his face off.

[Louis J. Gomez]

First shot. My first job, I was 11 years old. Okay, I'm just letting you know it couldn't be me. I was 11 years old. I was selling.

[Tim Butterly]

I was selling bananas on the highway.

[Big J Okerson]

My manager was me. Madre.

[Sam Tripoli]

Drug dealing isn't a first job.

[Louis J. Gomez]

My first job, I sold newspaper subscriptions for the Rockland Journal News. It's in my book, Knives and Spoons. So everyone knows this is not me.

[Sam Tripoli]

Great. Great coaster, everybody. Great coaster.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What was your first job? Tripoli.

[Tim Butterly]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, really?

[Sam Tripoli]

Paper. Paper boy.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Paper boy.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah. And then when I got a job, when I. My. My dad was like, when you're. When you turn 50.

[Big J Okerson]

When you turn 60, you're stuttering during the story. This is crazy. God damn, that was crazy. You got bobbity bop bop.

[Sam Tripoli]

I don't know how to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That was crazy.

[Sam Tripoli]

Bob. Bob.

[Big J Okerson]

Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. Ding dong blue moon.

[Joe DeRosa]

You all right, dude?

[Sam Tripoli]

I have a stutter. Leave me alone.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, so what was your first shop?

[Sam Tripoli]

I can't tell you.

[Lauren Compton]

It's going to take him all night.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah,

[Big J Okerson]

we got jobs to get to tomorrow.

[Lauren Compton]

Let's Go,

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lauren. What was your first job?

[Lauren Compton]

I don't work. This can't possibly be me.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

A manager. No,

[Louis J. Gomez]

I believe her.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, me too. Me fucking too.

[Joe DeRosa]

Lauren also doesn't seem like the make fun of a stutter type. Yeah, I think it's you.

[Big J Okerson]

Me?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. Because I don't believe your first job was selling newspapers. I believe that was the first job of whoever wrote that fucking book for you.

[Big J Okerson]

Gooish J. Lomas. Big J.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Your first job was, I believe, at a. You were, like, babysitting your brothers and sisters. And you worked at a video store, though.

[Big J Okerson]

No, never worked a video store.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Would you work at a CD store?

[Big J Okerson]

CD store. That wasn't my first job. I had.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't know.

[Joe DeRosa]

I really.

[Big J Okerson]

I guess my first job tech was paper boy. Yeah. But I just used to throw the papers out, and then I got in trouble. You, if you take the job, you have to deliver them. They find out, people complain if they don't get it. They want them. It's not just a stupid thing like I thought it was as a kid. I go, who wants the newspaper? What, do you have parrots in your house? What the are you a newspaper for?

[Joe DeRosa]

You wanted that thing.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, you dweeb. You know it's all boring, right? If you go to the woods, there's pornos.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's where I got all my porn, man.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, I feel like this could be Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why do you say that?

[Lauren Compton]

Because mimicking someone with a stutter is so childish.

[Joe DeRosa]

Why would you say that? I've been nothing but sweet to you as far as you know. No, this is not me. I never did phone duty. I mean, this sounds like an office or something.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm gonna go Joe.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm between Joe and Sam.

[Joe DeRosa]

I still. I'm going, Louis, I think it's Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You have to slide the slider over after you choose the name.

[Lauren Compton]

I'm going Joe, too. Are we supposed to say who?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, you are. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a Joe derosa vibe as well.

[Big J Okerson]

Why is the air conditioning on so hard up here? It's blowing our papers around. What is the game?

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is the coldest comedy club I've ever been to.

[Joe DeRosa]

Dude, every comedian in here is shooting testosterone before they hit this stage. We need the air cracked in this place

[Big J Okerson]

right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

These guys, either the ACS on 66, or they have to have a guy

[Tim Butterly]

with a dart gun on the side of the stage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, I feel like the wetness of my eyes freezing over. This is crazy.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm getting a cold My nipples are hurting in my shirt.

[Sam Tripoli]

Tim drooled on you when he was coming over and it was a sickle.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, man. Can you turn it up a little bit more on Lauren's side, please?

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm feeling sexually harassed.

[Lauren Compton]

I've been all day. Yeah, give me all the air.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it's Joe Derosa.

[Lauren Compton]

This feels great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm getting a Joe vibe, too. Joe's a mean guy. He makes fun of people.

[Lauren Compton]

Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

He was like, what's phone duty? That's a lie.

[Big J Okerson]

You. What's phone duty? Is a crazy thing to say.

[Sam Tripoli]

He was confused.

[Big J Okerson]

Someone explained those very obvious words to me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean, guys, we have papers that are blowing everywhere. Can we just turn the arrow right here?

[Big J Okerson]

I can't keep my papers down. I have to put weights on them.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're inside.

[Big J Okerson]

We're in Texas.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in. Whose story was story number one?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number one belongs to Joe Derosa.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm sorry, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know, I know. It was Little Caesar's Pizza and my manager. It wasn't really a stutter. It was this weird tick where before he would talk, he would go like that.

[Big J Okerson]

The best kind.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Sam Tripoli]

With a big.

[Big J Okerson]

A lot of face ticks.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. And he was a real. Because I was 14 when I worked there, and he would make fun of me for still being a virgin at 14.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Wait a minute.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Do you think he. Do you think he stuttered? Because he said it was pizza. Pizza.

[Sam Tripoli]

Louis Lewis.

[Joe DeRosa]

Lewis. But yeah, he was a dick. He would mock me with the other manager for being a virgin. And then like, this is how we got our.

[Tim Butterly]

You showed him.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah. Now he bangs fans.

[Joe DeRosa]

We crushed his soul that day. We crushed his soul. Cuz we would pick the phone up and go, little Caesar Pizza over and over.

[Big J Okerson]

That's why you guys are still virgins.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. What's that? You want pepperoni? We were laughing so hard, and he was devastated. And I was like, I got you back.

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

You.

[Joe DeRosa]

And then I lost my virginity. Ten years later, you showed his ass.

[Big J Okerson]

That guy already hung himself from being a Little Caesars guy. A manager took himself very seriously.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at all right?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

In last place with zero points, Joe Derosa.

[Sam Tripoli]

Okay. It's okay.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

And tied for first place with two points each, Louis J. Gomez, Big J. Okerson, Sam Tripoli, and Lauren Compton.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex. Story number two. Tim.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number two.

[Tim Butterly]

One of my best friends betrayed my trust by hooking up with a person I had feelings for. Shut the up. This person wasn't even attractive.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, Louis,

[Tim Butterly]

There was no need for it.

[Sam Tripoli]

I already know who it is.

[Big J Okerson]

You think I wait, I hooked up

[Louis J. Gomez]

with somebody's these things. My friend hooked up with my girl.

[Sam Tripoli]

I tell you what gives it away. What gives it away is the word attractive. And it's Lauren. That's why. Because guys wouldn't care if they're attractive. They just want to fuck at that point. Right.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think that's what it's saying. That's what it's saying the person wasn't.

[Sam Tripoli]

Well, I mean, that's what I'm saying. They wouldn't even care whether they're attractive or not attractive. Only a girl would say he's attractive or he's not attractive.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I agree. You can hear Lauren saying it.

[Tim Butterly]

You can hear Lauren going, this person wasn't even attracted.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, 100. 100. That was the easiest one ever.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I'm positive.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's so you think, oh my God, it's gonna be.

[Lauren Compton]

Be so gay when you find out it's not so.

[Sam Tripoli]

We're already gay, so who cares?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't think somebody's cheating on Lauren for one of her. I mean, guys are dogs though.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, girls do that. Girls show up and they dibby like, I want him, him, him. So she's like, I want that guy. He's not even hot, but he smells nice. Right? And then her friend's like, you and when banged him in the closet. So I'm telling you, that's Lauren 100%. It's 100% Lauren.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Sam Tripoli]

The guys would never say, and he wasn't even attractive.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It could, I mean, it could be Joe again. It could be two in a row. I can see Joe being cheated on.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, it's not cheating. It's just, it's, it's not cheating. It's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I had feelings for you.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Tim Butterly]

Can you imagine Joe having feelings for a person?

[Lauren Compton]

But no one thinks it's odd that straight out of the gate he's going to come in denying that it's that it's.

[Joe DeRosa]

Look at you, you liar.

[Lauren Compton]

This is a big denial right here.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no, this is, this is.

[Sam Tripoli]

You see, you should see who I've. It doesn't matter how they look.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is, this is Lauren. Even the person I had feelings for, the guy would say, somebody got.

[Sam Tripoli]

Pray I'm being. That was so cute.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's actually, hold on. That's the best point that I've heard so far is the words had feelings for. That's a womanly way to describe something. And that's why I think it's Joe derosa. I got to be honest with you.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah. Because we all know that Joe doesn't do relationships. He only gets into situationships with people he has feelings for.

[Sam Tripoli]

I think the lady protests too much. That's what I think.

[Joe DeRosa]

I agree. I agree.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm shot. You are so cute.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay, I'm trying to believe it's not Lauren so I can steal some points.

[Lauren Compton]

Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Lauren vibes as well. It's either. But it could be two. Two Joe stories in a row. This is.

[Sam Tripoli]

This is whatever happened.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. So last game, Jay had zero stories. You can get zero stories. You can get two in a row. We've had three in a row before. Shut up. Getting J vibes. Yeah. Jay's being. I've never seen Jay be this quiet on the show.

[Sam Tripoli]

I think Wigger J was sensitive back in the day, so it's definitely possible.

[Joe DeRosa]

He was. Yeah, he was.

[Sam Tripoli]

He wasn't afraid to cry his black tears.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But hold on. Let me say this. This person wasn't even attractive. Jay would do that. And then there was no need for. It is a very J button on a story. Big J is my final answer.

[Lauren Compton]

It's also a Joe button. No.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, no, no, no.

[Big J Okerson]

You said me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I said you.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm reading. I've been wrong about this kind of thing before. Sometimes you read a story and you see something in there where you're like, why do I know this? And it's because in early dating or early dating, in me and Lewis's early friendship, he had a girl that was his friend that would come hang out a lot. And she also enjoyed Guitar Hero.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, yeah. Katie. Oh, yeah.

[Sam Tripoli]

This is such a moment right here.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We have this story. This is what Jay's saying. We actually have this story together.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis. I went back to her place one night and played Guitar Hero. And I. Yeah, I ate her pussy. So what? I didn't know her and Lewis had any history at all, to be honest with you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This girl was not very attractive. There was no need for it.

[Big J Okerson]

Now, I was. I wasn't gonna say that, but I know how Lewis would say it. Boom.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All. Alex, whose story was story number two.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number two belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And it's exactly that story. You fucking piece of shit. There was no need for it. She didn't even suck your dick. You ate her ugly pussy. It was insane. Why would you do that to me?

[Big J Okerson]

And I'll be honest.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I looked up to you so much. And I'll be created weirdness for 15 years.

[Big J Okerson]

And I'll be honest with you. By the looks of it, she wasn't prepared for it to have company that night. So just know it was lust. Why am I talking? It's your story. But I didn't know. I thought it was Lewis's friend. You knew she's the piece of.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She is a piece of hair.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That slut. That slut. That slut also. So you guys know, if you guys know any of the Legion of Skanks lore, this is the same girl that when we went to go see the UFC in Philly and the guys, the guys we were arguing with, it was like, yo, your fat girlfriend. We all just ignored it. That was the girl.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, we were all going like, well, Lewis, I mean, that's kind of.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And then I was going, well, really? Jay really used to be the Fettinger.

[Big J Okerson]

I think we did that. You ate her earlier than I've done something.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, you betrayed my trust. Betrayal?

[Big J Okerson]

It's not betrayal.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I didn't know betrayal. You knew. Where our points at, Alex?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

All right, in last place with zero points, Joe derosa.

[Big J Okerson]

Eat me.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Tied for third place with two points each, Sam Tripoli and Lauren Compton. In second place with four points, Big J Okerson. And in first place with five points, Luis J. Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, folks, let's take a quick moment and thank Ridge Wallet for supporting the show. Ridge Wallet is the last wallet you're ever going to need in your entire life. Really cool wallets. This is the only wallet that I'll ever use for the rest of my life. Over 50 colors and styles and high quality materials like titanium leather and carbon fiber. Really, really cool. I mean, it's a slim front pocket wallet. You put your cards right in it. You can do a money clip style. You could do the band style as well. You have the band one. I rarely have cash, but it is great when you do have cash. But really, really cool. This is a great gift for anybody in your life.

[Big J Okerson]

They also every wallet comes with RFID blocking technology. I know. I've been trying to steal Lewis's identity. A 99 day risk free trial and a lifetime warranty. We've been using the wallets for years, but now they also have key cases, rings and portable chargers. They even make waterproof luggage and backpacks. They make quality products with everything they do. Make sure you check them out. And for a limited time story, warriors get 10 off at Ridge by using the code wars with a Z at checkout. W A R Z. Just head to ridge.com use that code wars and you're all set.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, folks, let's take a quick moment and thank Shopify supporting the show. I love Shopify. I use Shopify for body brain coffee. Everyone knows that. And it's really just makes it easy. If you are trying to run a business. It's really hard to do everything from running a website to an e commerce platform. And Shopify, Shopify gives you all the tools that you need every step of the way. I have the app right on my phone. You'll hear it all the time. Jay, you hear that little cha ching? That's my Shopify. Every time I get a sale, I get notified, which is the most fun part of the app in my opinion. But they have tools that help you.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God, you must be rich. I've heard that ding go off like three, four times already in the last few months. Is that one sale every time?

[Louis J. Gomez]

One sale every time. So Shopify is easy to use tools to help your business grow. You can customize your brand in the Shopify design studio as well. You could run social media, campaign campaigns, email campaigns, everything you need all in one place to make your business run smoother. I genuinely use this. I'm not bullshitting so. And they also have 24, 7 customer service, which is pretty incredible. So it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com warswithaz that's shopify.com warswithaz Once again, shopify.com wa okay, story warriors, let's thank Factor Meals for supporting the show. I'll tell you right now, look, I'm not a great cook. I do and I do an okay job, but I don't have the time, energy, I don't have any of that to go and figure out how to make really amazing quality meals. So when I'm trying to eat something that's really great and delicious, Factor comes in so handy. They're designed by dietitians and prepared by real chefs. There's no planning, no cooking, and they're ready in just two minutes. Jay. They have a brand new menu all the time. They change the menu options. You never get bored of it. And no matter what your dietary restrictions are, they have you come covered.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah. I've been using Factor for years. I have no to. We always get home late, even the days that we are in town. And often, you know, you can't just keep ordering out. It'll be so unhealthy for you. Factor Meals are inexpensive and they're Delicious. I mean, perfect sized portions. They're not small. Not small portions at all. And they're. It's just quality, quality products. And you feel like you didn't do something so shitty for yourself. Head over to Factor Meals.com wars50off. That's W A R Z 50 off. So it's FactorMeals.com wars50off and use code wars50OFF to get 50 off. And you get a free daily greens per box. New subscriptions only while supplies last until September 27, 2026. See website for more details. Let's get back to it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Tim. Story number three.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number three.

[Tim Butterly]

The first time I met an openly gay man was in high school. We were all smoking pot and he deep throated the bong. Everyone was high and just sat in silence.

[Joe DeRosa]

How is this butterly.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But how is this a betrayal? Where's the betrayal in this story?

[Big J Okerson]

That guy just sprung it on that he's gay by sucking off the bong. Everyone's gonna use

[Tim Butterly]

his worldview. Was betrayed by the gay guy throating the bong. Probably.

[Joe DeRosa]

All right.

[Big J Okerson]

Also, is this the 80s when AIDS was a death sentence?

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm gonna. I'm going with. Given Tripoli's horrific display of reading comprehension, speaking, understanding the fact that this has nothing to do with betrayal, I'm gonna

[Big J Okerson]

say this is the same triple.

[Sam Tripoli]

Just because I know lots of gay people. What are you talking about?

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is the first.

[Big J Okerson]

There's always a first.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Openly gay man. Openly gay man.

[Big J Okerson]

I assume Lauren was surrounded by gay dudes all her life. Just holding.

[Sam Tripoli]

She learned how to get blow jobs.

[Lauren Compton]

I was homeschooled.

[Sam Tripoli]

Oh, so you were around gay and

[Lauren Compton]

it wasn't my dad. Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Okay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

High school. But in. Let me ask you a question. First of all, you could lie. That could just be a straight up lie. Second of all, did you. Did you smoke weed in high school? Lauren?

[Lauren Compton]

I did.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why would she lie?

[Joe DeRosa]

Who did?

[Louis J. Gomez]

The truth.

[Lauren Compton]

I did smoke weed, but I was also homeschooled.

[Big J Okerson]

Weird. We're just.

[Sam Tripoli]

What does that mean, though? Nobody. You had no gay people near you? You are such a Nazi.

[Lauren Compton]

None of them

[Sam Tripoli]

blue eyed?

[Lauren Compton]

No one deep throated a bong.

[Sam Tripoli]

Did you have a bong in the Little House in the Prairie that you grew on?

[Lauren Compton]

No, no. I was raised in Mesquite. I rolled blonde once.

[Louis J. Gomez]

God, she's perfect.

[Sam Tripoli]

She's so hood.

[Joe DeRosa]

Guys.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'd marry her right now.

[Sam Tripoli]

Do you know the dad? Do you know the dad?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lauren? Lauren. When your water breaks, will you do it in my face?

[Big J Okerson]

That's still. That's a technical squirt. That's a technical squirt. That's a technical squirt. On the record, that's squirt. It's not piss. And it came out of her.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is clearly triple. Triple H still hasn't figured out to take his iPad back. It's Sam. It's Sam. I know we're doubting that it's Sam because there's nothing in here about the Jews running the media, but it's Sam.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think Joe. Joe has me convinced I'm also throwing Sam Tripoli up. But, I mean, if. If it's not Sam Tripoli. Somebody just cleaned the Up.

[Lauren Compton]

Up.

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

Sam.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Trev. Last one to vote. He's acting now. If it's him. If it's him, just know that this is a phony at work.

[Lauren Compton]

Why?

[Sam Tripoli]

I don't know why

[Big J Okerson]

he called us. He says his machine isn't working. Like a grandparent. This fak. The things not.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm 53.

[Big J Okerson]

The lights are turned down.

[Sam Tripoli]

Last time I was here, we wrote down the name. It's like advancement.

[Joe DeRosa]

Last time I was here, we wrote on the name.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, we wrote the name.

[Joe DeRosa]

He's freaking out.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of her answers are in. Whose story was story number three?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number three belongs to Sam Triple.

[Sam Tripoli]

The betrayal is he sucked off the bong. That's the betrayal.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what I figured. Yeah, that's what I thought.

[Sam Tripoli]

Right? You're like, God, he went all the way down.

[Big J Okerson]

It was uncomfortable the whole way. And if you're talking about your standard, like, corner store bong, like, we're talking

[Sam Tripoli]

like, a bong this high, dude, and you just went pandaconda on it.

[Big J Okerson]

A part of you was impressed.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, I was like. Yeah, I was impressed, actually.

[Big J Okerson]

By the way, I can't believe with the air conditioning that your paper airplanes haven't went through somebody's head or stuck

[Lauren Compton]

into a wall somewhere on the paper airplanes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, these are the stories, and we're signing them and then throw them out to the fans.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, I thought it was like, a free drink.

[Sam Tripoli]

So kind, Louis. You're so kind. Sell that on eBay for 10 cents. Oh, let me get my thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, I got no points if we

[Big J Okerson]

all had long hair. Look at a white snake video up here. It's our hair.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

All right. Tied for fourth place with two points each, Joe derosa and Sam Tripoli.

[Big J Okerson]

We're on the board, baby.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

In third place with four points, Lauren Compton. In second place with six points, Big J. Okerson. And in first place with seven points. Louis J. Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hell yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

It is heating up. It is still anybody's.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I wish it was fucking heating up. It's freezing up here.

[Big J Okerson]

It's fucking freezing up in here. Honest to God. My penis is so small.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was also small upstairs.

[Big J Okerson]

It's cold up there too. This whole place is. Goddamn. It's a freeze tank trying to break our will.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Are you storing elk meat in here right now?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why is it so cold? Joe Rogan.

[Big J Okerson]

This is Joe's spillover meat freezer. Okay. Hey. How you guys get comfortable? And then my bison goes bad. Fuck you guys. Arrow. Arrow. Arrow. Guys. One of us is gonna feel good and feel warm inside when we get to take home. Dallas 1963. Which frames the assassination as a betrayal bigger than one man. Lee Harvey Oswald pulled the trigger. Sure. But the book has. But the. Someone's trying to become your co host. But this book has. Who else helped create a moment where that kind of violence could even happen?

[Sam Tripoli]

Wow.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Wow.

[Big J Okerson]

Dallas 1963

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

this episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try [e-mail] Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states.

[Big J Okerson]

Tim. Story number four.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number four.

[Tim Butterly]

I think my high school best friend had sex with the person I was dating at the time. At my parents house. When I wasn't home.

[Lauren Compton]

Home?

[Tim Butterly]

They said they didn't but evidence suggested otherwise.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So Lauren said she was home. She was homeschooled. Actually Lauren.

[Big J Okerson]

He's like Jay. Actually Lauren. He's shielding his whole.

[Lauren Compton]

What is the evidence?

[Sam Tripoli]

You did a crime investigation. That's the evidence. Women love murder. Crime shows. You just did your own investigation. You were swabbing for DNA and shit.

[Tim Butterly]

I brought in a sweater guy.

[Lauren Compton]

Like I had a black light.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I think it's Lauren too. Because of the capitalization of my. At my parents house. That's a very. Like Lauren, you know.

[Lauren Compton]

But I would never think something like that. I would know.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I thought she was gonna just say. I would never think.

[Lauren Compton]

I should have left it hanging.

[Tim Butterly]

Also parents is plural. So it's not Louis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Damn it. It's the truth. The sky is blue.

[Joe DeRosa]

Shut the up.

[Tim Butterly]

It hit.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

What the

[Big J Okerson]

sabotage.

[Lauren Compton]

I also didn't have friends in school.

[Sam Tripoli]

Because you didn't go to school.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

I know.

[Lauren Compton]

Thank you.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is.

[Big J Okerson]

But it's still called high school. Homeschool. You're still high school.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're still wearing high school. I don't know how homeschooling works. Right.

[Sam Tripoli]

Do you know?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is it considered high school still?

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, yeah. You're still taking?

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah. And you had a best friend still.

[Lauren Compton]

So it's like I'm an only child.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That has nothing to do with what is written here.

[Lauren Compton]

There's no friends.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You're just naming other people.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't know if she's unraveling.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think my high school best friend as Tony Angelo. My high school best friend had sex.

[Sam Tripoli]

Sex.

[Joe DeRosa]

And it was unbelievable. That's my new favorite impression of Tony. Tony turning bad news into a brat. Tony. How was the doctor?

[Tim Butterly]

He says my cancer is the most

[Joe DeRosa]

aggressive he's ever seen. I'll be dead in a month. It's unbelievable. I hope he heard that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm getting Lauren vibes. Lauren, can you do me? Will you read this story out loud?

[Lauren Compton]

Do you want me to read it like it's incriminating?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want you to.

[Lauren Compton]

You just want to hear it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I want to hear anything you say. I got to be honest with you. I'm in love.

[Lauren Compton]

I think my high school best friend had sex with the person I was dating at the time. At my parents house when I wasn't home. They said that they didn't, but the evidence suggests otherwise.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel okay. I feel okay with it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You put Lauren up?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm going, Lauren. This just feels like something a chick would do to another chick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That is a very chick thing.

[Joe DeRosa]

Or.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Or Big J would do to his friend Louis.

[Joe DeRosa]

And also she was your friend.

[Big J Okerson]

You pointed out how unattractive she was.

[Joe DeRosa]

Also too. Here's another reason I think it's. Lauren, you're in high school. Girls hang out at their girlfriend's houses when they're not there. Guys don't do that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That'd be crazy.

[Joe DeRosa]

Did you ever hang out at your friend's house when he wasn't there? It's nuts to be weird, right?

[Tim Butterly]

I took a shit at a friend's house when his. When he wasn't there. One time in high school.

[Joe DeRosa]

Right.

[Tim Butterly]

It was an emergency.

[Sam Tripoli]

Same thing. Same thing.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's a little different.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm locking it in. Lauren Compton. This is a woman's story. Very obviously.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm going so far behind.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm so. Lauren. Why are you saying Jay?

[Lauren Compton]

Because with the last story, it seems like people love to take your girl.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Whoa.

[Sam Tripoli]

Damn. That got real, real fast.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's okay. She's hot. It's all right. She doesn't understand how Words work. She's hot, though.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go.

[Lauren Compton]

It takes me a minute.

[Sam Tripoli]

Lauren.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All the boys choose Lauren. Lauren chooses Big J. Joe, who did you vote for?

[Joe DeRosa]

You.

[Lauren Compton]

Me?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah. This is you, Lauren. Come on.

[Lauren Compton]

Y' all are fucking.

[Joe DeRosa]

Stop fucking around. This is you.

[Sam Tripoli]

Cut this shit, Alex.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All of our answers are in.

[Lauren Compton]

I've done nothing but tell the truth up here.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Well, story number four belongs to Big J. Oversoon.

[Sam Tripoli]

Gotta go. Big J. He's too quiet. He was too quiet.

[Joe DeRosa]

God damn it.

[Sam Tripoli]

I was gonna go Big J. Story of my life.

[Joe DeRosa]

I forgot. Jay comes from trash, and they just let all the kids hang out at the house.

[Big J Okerson]

God damn it, you did forget.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So who was it? Tell us this story.

[Joe DeRosa]

My.

[Big J Okerson]

Right after high school, girlfriend moved in with. Moved in with me at my mom's and step pops house with my family. And then when I started doing comedy and I was going up to New York from Philly every day, I was gone a lot. And I kind of gave her, like, the. I was like, hey, if you think we should break up, so I'm gonna be gone a lot, I get it. And she was like, no, I want to. Like, I want to stay together and work this out. And then. So I was gone a lot. And then driving up to New York one day, I was in a car with Kevin Hart and Keith Robinson, and we got a phone call, or I got a phone call, and I take. And I go, okay, yeah, sure. And I hung up. And they go. I go, what's that? Goes, that's Cheryl, my girlfriend. He goes, my friend Little J. Funny enough, Little J. She's gonna go hang out with him while he, like, shoots around at the. At the playground. And then how much they made fun of me for, like, letting my girlfriend go. It's like she's gonna go watch him, like, hold my shirt. Like, watch me shoot jumpers or. And it started making me feel really, like, jealous about it. I'm like. And then my parents said one day, like, they came out of their bedroom and went down, like. Like, saw over the banister living room, and, like, they. He was over, and they were just sitting on the couch together one night. So they probably.

[Tim Butterly]

Probably.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that all the evidence?

[Joe DeRosa]

You think they would actually fuck in the house, not at the playground or. You know what I mean?

[Big J Okerson]

You just said, I come from garbage. Trash, yeah. Everyone's a piece of garbage. It's South Jersey.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is that the. Is that the only evidence, though?

[Big J Okerson]

It's pretty good evidence.

[Sam Tripoli]

Did you break up with her or did you just say, I love you too much, I can't leave you?

[Big J Okerson]

No. I think she dumped me eventually anyway. She was like, yeah, she was. She was. Now I am somebody else.

[Joe DeRosa]

And I can't believe after you gave her a married to the road now honey speech, I really did that. She another guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Things are going to be different now. I found a passion.

[Joe DeRosa]

Alex, you're like Rambo. You're going up to do an open mic.

[Big J Okerson]

Can't be held down.

[Sam Tripoli]

Jay.

[Tim Butterly]

If only she knew how famous Kevin Hart would get.

[Big J Okerson]

That girl's got a lot of stories with Kevin Hart. That piece of

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex four stories down. Where are our points?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

All right, tied for fourth place with two points each, Joe DeRosa and Sam Tripoli. In third place with six points, Lauren Compton. In second place with seven points, Luis J. Gomez. And in first place with nine points, Big J Okerson.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're at the halfway point of the show. Real quick. Let's do some plugs. We'll plug some things and then we'll get into our second half. Lauren, they can check out your podcast. First date. Anything else you want to plug?

[Sam Tripoli]

No,

[Lauren Compton]

my podcast. You can find me anywhere at I am Lauren Compton.

[Big J Okerson]

Very cool, Mr. Tripoli.

[Sam Tripoli]

Tomorrow I'm shooting my special for Gas Digital Come out. I'm debating whether I'll say the N word or not. I'm working it out. Just check out sam Triplee.com and check out Word War debate. It's coming out in August, so check it out.

[Joe DeRosa]

Joe DeRosa, the the new podcast that was titled from what was born here Violent Horrendous on YMH out now. And thank you guys for listening. We were supposed to be bi weekly and we went to weekly already after the second episode. So every Thursday, YMH, check it out and @Joe Derozac comedy on YouTube.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's there.

[Big J Okerson]

Thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Very cool, Tim Butterly.

[Tim Butterly]

Oh, me too. I'm shooting my special Saturday here in town.

[Big J Okerson]

If any.

[Louis J. Gomez]

If anybody. By the way, if anybody wants a come to the special tapings this weekend, I'll get you guys some comps. If you guys are in the show right now, just send me a DM and I'll get you to any of the shows that you guys want to.

[Big J Okerson]

I hope everybody does it. No, I hope that you are neck deep in. In emails for a promise you made stone sober whack down on Pink Red Bulls.

[Tim Butterly]

So, yeah, I guess that's Saturday and tickets aren't doing great, but

[Big J Okerson]

anybody wants to come, please,

[Louis J. Gomez]

if you guys want to see Aaron Berg and Dave Lando on Sunday. We need you there.

[Tim Butterly]

But I promise to you now before you guys and my wife and God, I will say the nword

[Big J Okerson]

on God.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna call him the builder

[Joe DeRosa]

and

[Tim Butterly]

watch Tim Botter le show and dab me and everything. Thank you guys for having me.

[Sam Tripoli]

By Tim Paul hart big j bigjay

[Big J Okerson]

comedy.com for all my days. Greatest Yapper live tour happening now. Coming to a city near you. It never ends. It's every single weekend. So I'll there. If you live there, I'll be there too. Make sure you check out the bonfire five days a week faction talk series XM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. And of course the flagship show over here, Guess Digital, the Legion of Skanks.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Check me out on the road. L skanks.com Sign up for my mailing list, buy my book, knives and spoons. And if you love the show, you guys should subscribe to Gas Digital. We do the show actually with pre release ad, free and uncensored. It comes out every Monday night on Gas Digital Digital before it goes to YouTube, Spotify or anywhere else. If you guys hate censorship and you hate listening to 20 ads per show on all these podcasts, guess what? You could watch it on gas digital four days before it goes anywhere else. Plus there's like 70 episodes that are no longer available to the public. So you can watch the entire on Demand library. Go to gasdigital.com, download the app, use the promo code WAR. You save a couple bucks a month and it's the best way to support this show. Jay, let them know what's going on in the second half.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, some of you might be feeling pretty shitty because you're not in first place, but only one person can be. But that can switch around so quick because for the final four stories and Joe, you've been here enough to know we go double points.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You, Shane Gillis, ruin my thing, you fucking piece of shit. You have a hundred billion dollars, you have to ruin my thing. Thanks.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a very simple concept here is, whereas before, if you fooled somebody, you got one point. If you guessed the correct story, you got two points. That now jumps up. Tim, why don't you tell him?

[Tim Butterly]

That's right. For the rest of the game, every chance you score is for double pawn.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So do you have a. Do you have a scorecard that you're giving out of his own dry erase board? Hell yeah, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

I love it. I love it.

[Louis J. Gomez]

These guys are dorks.

[Sam Tripoli]

I love it.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, that's like when old men like still score baseball when they go to the game.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's the fact.

[Tim Butterly]

That's crazy. You got baseball autist. Congratulations.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's our statistician.

[Big J Okerson]

Alex. Story number five.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number five.

[Tim Butterly]

I once challenged a cop to a race at a red light. I told him if I won, he couldn't give me a ticket. And he agreed. I won and he ticketed me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I mean that Lewis.

[Big J Okerson]

Lewis is a terrible driver.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I could beat a cop in a race, of course.

[Big J Okerson]

But you know, you're a terrible driver. You know, you.

[Joe DeRosa]

You're not.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I've gotten better. I haven't been to an accident in a year and three months.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a weird brag that wouldn't even get you the discount that the guy from major league gives you on that insurance commercial. It's got to be like 18 months or something.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, it's two years. And then the accidents fall off your record.

[Big J Okerson]

Only you know that. But I don't think. I don't think you're all fucking willy nilly enough to go, hey, copper, race me.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Well, you don't say that. You just look at him and then you rev your engine.

[Big J Okerson]

No, but you someone you, but Vin Diesel them, dude. Someone said if they won, you couldn't give me a ticket. And he agreed. Feet, this is.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I wish you would have Paul Walker.

[Big J Okerson]

Too fucking soon.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Too soon, dude, what is he from All City Faggots.

[Big J Okerson]

That sucks. No dudes, because of that situation that we gotta watch Hobbs and Shaw, we're watching branch off shows.

[Joe DeRosa]

But hold on, hold on a second. What is. What is the initial. What is the initial thing that starts the race?

[Big J Okerson]

Like, what was Sam Tripoli looks over at a cop with his white privilege whacked out on some kind of fucking crazy drug?

[Sam Tripoli]

Probably meth.

[Big J Okerson]

Probably meth.

[Joe DeRosa]

But if I, if I won, he couldn't give me a ticket. A ticket for what? Like, what, we're speeding.

[Big J Okerson]

You're gonna speed in this race?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, but I'm saying the way I'm reading this was there was an initial pullover for something and then it's you the person.

[Big J Okerson]

No, no, no, no. It's at a red light. He said he stops at a red light and they pull up and he. And he does the funny thing.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This is some cocaine.

[Sam Tripoli]

La

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sam. I mean, it has to be Sam. I could. It could be Lauren.

[Joe DeRosa]

Who?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lauren. Where'd you grow up?

[Lauren Compton]

Mesquite.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Mesquite? What is that? That's the barbecue sauce?

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah,

[Lauren Compton]

it's like Nevada. How far away is that from here? Like three out four hours.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is it Texas?

[Lauren Compton]

It's in Texas.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's some Southern too. I could see her just being like a hot young chick. She's like, I'm gonna challenge this kid cop.

[Tim Butterly]

I was home driving schooled, so it couldn't be me.

[Big J Okerson]

First of all, no chick is going to beat a cop in a race. It's reckless drug fueled behavior by Sam Tripoli.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but can I say oj? It's too late. You already locked it in. But I was going to say like, oh, it's a woman's type of confidence that would do this. Any guy in the world, especially a guy on drugs, is going to be like, I'm not even going to look at the cop. You're just staring forward. You're like, don't look at me. Don't say anything. Guys are terrified of cops. Hot chicks are like, oh, he's cute.

[Sam Tripoli]

Let me tell not all guys.

[Big J Okerson]

Not all guys terrified of cops.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, every guy is.

[Tim Butterly]

There was a car seat in the back.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is, this is Lauren. This is Chick.

[Sam Tripoli]

This seems like this is hot chick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, she tried to deflect right now. She did. Let me get everyone off my trail right now.

[Joe DeRosa]

And by the way, remember how loud she was when it wasn't her? Look how quiet she is right now. This is Lauren.

[Big J Okerson]

Lauren Compton. Popes to a red light to cop eraser. And then dusted the cop.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, and then cried when she got ticket.

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't think that last part's true cuz women lie.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, all right, that's fair enough.

[Louis J. Gomez]

She lost.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I think she lost the race and then thought she won cuz she sucked.

[Sam Tripoli]

No, I won.

[Big J Okerson]

No you didn't.

[Louis J. Gomez]

The cop said. He was like, yeah, you won darling. Here, just take the ticket.

[Big J Okerson]

She goes, grace me. Whoever comes in second's the winner.

[Louis J. Gomez]

First is the worst. Alex, whose story was this?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number five belongs to Lauren Compton.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Finally.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's such a hot chick there thing.

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, it happened. I had a. I had a sports car. Now I don't know how many of you are going to agree that this is a sports car. I had a Chrysler Crossfire.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's not a sports car.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's not a sports car.

[Big J Okerson]

Chrysler.

[Lauren Compton]

Okay, fine.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jesus. Chrysler.

[Big J Okerson]

That's a car that an older man wears leather gloves to drive.

[Lauren Compton]

It was cool. I had it. I had a twin turbo.

[Big J Okerson]

I had it four on the floor.

[Lauren Compton]

I mean it didn't. It wasn't like a big block engine or anything.

[Louis J. Gomez]

So what, you saw this cop?

[Lauren Compton]

Yeah, I saw this cop. His name was John Carson. I met him after.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I bet you did.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but that ticket never went through.

[Lauren Compton]

He pulled up next to me and he rolled down his window and he was like, I like your car. Car. And I was like, thank you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, what a dog.

[Lauren Compton]

And I said, but I bet I can beat yours. He was in a Camaro. And so I said, when the light turns green, I'll race you to the next light. But if I win, you can't give me a ticket. And he's like, okay. And I smoked his ass and I went all the way through. And then he went whoop, whoop. And he pulled me over and he gave me a ticket and his number.

[Sam Tripoli]

Wow. Did you go on a date with him?

[Lauren Compton]

I never went on a date with him, but I was in a car club. Club. And so I would cruise up and down the street. Anybody go cruising?

[Big J Okerson]

No, we're not cholos.

[Sam Tripoli]

It's a different cruise.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You, you, you love.

[Joe DeRosa]

Hey, even if I do love, I can get it the regular way up north. I don't have to cruise around the street.

[Big J Okerson]

No, Joe's cruising days are over. He's too recognizable.

[Joe DeRosa]

Just go to a bar.

[Sam Tripoli]

Too recognizable.

[Joe DeRosa]

You guys ever cruise? What is this?

[Big J Okerson]

What are you?

[Joe DeRosa]

Who are you, Fonzie? What the fuck are you talking about?

[Lauren Compton]

I was little.

[Joe DeRosa]

I cruise the streets. Then we go neck up on the

[Lauren Compton]

point we would hang out at Taco Bell, Inspiration Point in our cars.

[Louis J. Gomez]

This story, I mean, I think it's completely fabricated, but either way, I don't believe any of it. Alex, where are we at with our points?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

All right. Tied for fourth place with six points each, Joe DeRosa and Sam Tripoli. In third place with eight points, Lauren Compton. In second place with nine points, Big J. Okerson. And in first place with 11 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

It's a tight game. Anybody's game. Still. Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Okay, story warriors. You know what's up? My story is that I started this company about a year ago called Body Brain Coffee. And it is not just normal coffee, it is coffee. We started with amazing premium freeze dried coffee. And then we blended in nootropics and adaptogens that will make you feel like the best version of yourself. You know? Testosterone is down. Testosterone is down on average, 1% forever. Every year after you turn 30 years old, your testosterone will drop. And guess what? It's half as what it was when in your grandpa's generation. That's why we included Tonka Ali. Which has been naturally linked to supporting testosterone in men, especially aging men. Plus, it's got l Theanine. It's got lion's mane mushrooms for focus and memory and ashwagandha, which supports mood and stress. So it's great.

[Lauren Compton]

Great.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Jay, I know you've been boofing it for about a year now and you've never been more manly, you've never been more focused, you've never been more locked in.

[Big J Okerson]

No. My is getting really hairy though. So I don't know who I write to about that in the company. I just want to make sure I give my findings. But yes, I feel fantastic. However you get it in you get it in you. I said you should put that on the T shirt.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Go try it, man. Look, it really is great. People really love it. Check out our reviews on Amazon and on Shopify. Bodybraincoffee.com is the website. Use the promo code WAR22zero. WAR20. You save 20 off if you decide to subscribe. Not only are you saving 20 off, but we're going to give you free shipping for life, which is huge. Save a couple more bucks right there. Once again, that's bodybraincoffee.com. use the promo code WAR20 to save 20 off. And if you decide to subscribe, get free shipping for life. All right, where were we?

[Big J Okerson]

Hey, story warriors, let's thank one of our sponsors for today's show, and that is hims. Look, you don't have to be embarrassed about ed anymore. Louis, I'm looking right at you. You just get it taken care of with hims. They help you get personalized prescription treatment options for E D. I already got

[Louis J. Gomez]

it taken care of. Look at this.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh my God, look at that.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at this.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that a new vein? They have trusted generics over at HIMS that cost 95 less than brand names. They also have in house products like their hard mints and sex rx plus climax control. With a hundred percent online access to personalized treatment plans, hims can bring expert care there right to you. I'm looking at you, noodle dick.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, that's not a noodle right there. That's like. That's like.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, no. I was talking to the proverbial noodle dick out there in the world, not you. Dude, I could see that you are taking your product and you are raging, right?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Like a roll of quarters right there for you, my friend.

[Big J Okerson]

I'll be honest, you look wobbly. You might want to sit down. There's no blood in your body.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Dude, my equilibrium's thrown off from this huge fall forward. Dude, it's done online. That you don't have to talk to a doctor. You don't have to go anywhere. You get an online doctor, they will give your. Your prescription what you need. Then it's sent to your door in discreet packaging. They not only do they have stuff for ed, but they have hair loss treatments, weight loss treatments, and more. So right now just visit hims.comwars with a Z warz. That's hims.comw for your free online visit today.

[Big J Okerson]

Prescription required. See website for details and important safety information. SIL is a generic version of Viagra. Viagra is a registered trademark of Vice Specialty llc. HIMS is not affiliated with or endorsed by Vice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Our.

[Big J Okerson]

All right, where were we?

[Louis J. Gomez]

What are we? What are we at? Story number six.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number six.

[Tim Butterly]

I was kicked out of my church band for. For wearing a T shirt with satanic imagery and refusing to take it off. The director claimed that I had betrayed.

[Sam Tripoli]

Go.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Satanic imagery?

[Tim Butterly]

Really?

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's Sam Tripoli.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sam Tripoli was definitely a teen Satanist if I've ever seen one.

[Joe DeRosa]

And we've all been wondering what made Sam this way. This is the moment where he went.

[Big J Okerson]

The world, it's flat.

[Lauren Compton]

What musical instrument do you play?

[Sam Tripoli]

I play a lot of them. Keyboard, guitar, harp.

[Louis J. Gomez]

They play that.

[Sam Tripoli]

I can beatbox. I play the bass. Like the long bass?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

Were you in a Baptist church or something? I do a little funk soul gospel.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I play an old washboard.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah. Jug.

[Joe DeRosa]

I know this for. This was for a fact. Not Jay, because I know Jay got his first musical instrument instrument much later in life. When you were given the set of drums because you won some contest or something.

[Big J Okerson]

Yeah, but I'm also Jewish.

[Joe DeRosa]

Well, there's. Oh, yeah.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Satanic imagery. He was wearing a Star of David and they removed him for his Israeli devil.

[Big J Okerson]

Jew ways I go. I've been telling you guys this church that I'm just sick on the drums.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah.

[Big J Okerson]

But I am not Christian.

[Lauren Compton]

It's not j. I can't imagine Joe going to church.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh.

[Sam Tripoli]

Oh, I totally not total. Those are the ones who turn gay. Are the ones.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Did you play instruments? I know you rapped when you were

[Big J Okerson]

younger, but Joe plays several instruments.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, I played saxophone. Started in fourth grade and started playing drums in the ninth grade.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Were you raised in a church? Christian or Catholic?

[Big J Okerson]

He was.

[Sam Tripoli]

I was raised Roman Catholic.

[Lauren Compton]

Oh, really?

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, I was raised Roman Catholic.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, but you're not wearing satanic imitation imagery.

[Big J Okerson]

Joe likes a lot of punk rock and he's got a bad religion. Is like satanic imagery. Technically, it's like a Crossed out cross.

[Sam Tripoli]

Nine inch Nails maybe.

[Joe DeRosa]

I hate. No, I don't like. I'm not a fan of Nine inch Nails. But. But I am a fan of bad religion. And yes, their symbol is the cross.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Why would he be telling us all this if it was him, huh?

[Tim Butterly]

Catholics don't do church bands. They just do the fucking castrati boys.

[Big J Okerson]

I also, I will say I've never heard a story of Joe playing in a trip church band. I just know he grew up. His. His dad was in the church.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yes.

[Big J Okerson]

So it's possible.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Joe, did you do any. Any music with your church?

[Joe DeRosa]

What's that?

[Big J Okerson]

Oh that.

[Lauren Compton]

I think it's Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What's that? Is crazy. It's Triple E or Joe.

[Big J Okerson]

Come again?

[Sam Tripoli]

Who?

[Louis J. Gomez]

You vote Joe. Yeah, but triple's being very into a

[Big J Okerson]

microphone when no one else.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I was in a rock band band in high school. Yeah.

[Sam Tripoli]

Were you in a church band?

[Louis J. Gomez]

No, I was a drummer. I wasn't playing drums in the church band.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, that's a weird thing to say. Church.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Is there a drum set in a church band? That's insane. Yeah, okay. Yes, it was me. Vote for me, dumbass.

[Big J Okerson]

It's not Lewis because he would never be in a church band to get kicked out of.

[Joe DeRosa]

I kind of think it's Lewis now. I wish I had picked.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, it's Joe. What an idiot. There we go. It was so easily Joe.

[Big J Okerson]

Everyone's locked in. Save the papers. Everyone's locked in. Alex,

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

story number six belongs to Louis J. Gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Nice story. And then when. Then you left the church and went outside and you saw a girl beat a cop in a car race. Anything else? And then. Superheroes.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, definitely. I've definitely told you. I was in a church.

[Big J Okerson]

The rules are you have to tell.

[Joe DeRosa]

True story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

True story. I was in St. Peter's Church in Hav, New York. There was like a youth group and they formed. We torn formed a church band. The guitarist from Salty Black Flower, Dave Green, the singer from Salty Black Flower, John Hickey and me all played in the church band. And I was. And I didn't give a at all. I had already given up on God years before that. But I wanted to just play music live. So I used to wear Marilyn Manson T shirts to church with like. It was like, you know, one said Christ. It was like crazy. And then the. The director was like, turn your shirt inside out. And I was like, I'm not taking my shirt inside out. Sorry, I'm just playing.

[Big J Okerson]

And after like what a hard line stance to take. And you're the 1000% here. Hey, can you take off the satanic shirt just because we're in church? Nah, man. Hey, can you put your dick away? You're in a grocery store.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

You.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, look at that flag above your door.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah,

[Louis J. Gomez]

and yeah, this. This lady, she. She had like sunken in cheeks. We would call her Skeletor to her face. And like, I'm not taking off my Marilyn Manson T shirt. Skeletor yourself. And eventually she kicked me out of it and she said I had betrayed God.

[Sam Tripoli]

Lewis, do you think that's why you lost both your parents?

[Big J Okerson]

It's gotta be. It's gotta be in the reason.

[Louis J. Gomez]

For me.

[Big J Okerson]

It's gotta be in there is one

[Louis J. Gomez]

of the reasons God took them. For me.

[Big J Okerson]

It's one of the reasons.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, I just cleaned up. Thank you. Double points.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's twice.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, where are points at?

[Sam Tripoli]

I don't want to know.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Tied for fourth place with six points each, Joe deroza and Sam Tripoli.

[Joe DeRosa]

We really are the bottom back down again.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

In third place with eight points, Lauren Comp. In second place with nine points, Big J Okerson.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's a lot of points. That's a lot of points. Jay. Alex.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

And in first place with 19 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, man. There's almost. Almost no chance you guys can catch up to me.

[Joe DeRosa]

Oh, wow, you're winning the game. You invented that. You play every week, you fucking asshole.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's amazing.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm here as a fucking favor, for Christ's sakes. Yeah, you're winning.

[Big J Okerson]

I'm. I'm here every week.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, you're in second place.

[Big J Okerson]

I know. And this is a pretty big deal for me being in second place. Please,

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, Story number seven.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number seven.

[Tim Butterly]

I got so drunk once, I hit on my friend's wife. That about sums it up.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It says. Hold on. It says spouse. I hit on my friend's spouse.

[Big J Okerson]

Could be a girl hitting on a girl.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I don't think it is, though.

[Tim Butterly]

Yeah, Jay, great.

[Sam Tripoli]

We don't know if it went well, if it went bad after that. Did a threesome happen? I don't.

[Lauren Compton]

This is the shortest story I've ever heard.

[Joe DeRosa]

Yeah, this is Lewis written all over.

[Tim Butterly]

For sale, friend's wife.

[Sam Tripoli]

Never used.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I wouldn't handle one of my friends. Wife's. Now, if there's any person on this panel that would hit on somebody else's person that they had feelings for for, it would probably be Big J.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, you know you're gonna make me think this is you. I don't get drunk like that and hit on a Friend.

[Louis J. Gomez]

No way.

[Big J Okerson]

That's not me.

[Joe DeRosa]

But Jay, you don't get drunk like that. But if you got drunk like that once, this very well could be you, because you are a scumbag.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You are a. A piece of. To your friends and loved ones. We all know that.

[Big J Okerson]

It's Joe.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, this is Jay. This is Jay.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I can see it being Joe, too. Joe, you do get hammered, and you are a horn dog. You're one of the guys. And here's the thing. This is. And people say this about me, too. If I find out a girl Joe, I'm like, oh, really? You fell for Joe's.

[Big J Okerson]

That's what we all say about girls. We meet and they'll go, well, I did a couple of years. Friends. You go, oh, that guy got you with his nonsense, huh?

[Louis J. Gomez]

And we all say it about each other.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, let me. Joe told you about his ColeCOvision to you. So there was no more Ubers available.

[Joe DeRosa]

Did he give you a tour of his podcast studio? Yeah, Louis. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the mics are nice there.

[Big J Okerson]

I have the cat. I have the keys. We can go in after hours. Would you like. You want to see where the sausage is made?

[Joe DeRosa]

Would you like to meet Ralph?

[Big J Okerson]

This is where Aaron Berg sits sometimes.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now, fuck this. This is Louis or Jay. I'm going. I'm gonna. I'm gonna go with Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I think this is. This is Joe. This is bad acting by Joe right now. I don't think Tripoli is not that guy. I don't think Tripoli is a guy who's hitting on a one of his friends girls. Derosa. Who'd you put?

[Big J Okerson]

Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You put Joe. Joe put me. Joe voted very early because he wanted to get it going. He's.

[Joe DeRosa]

No, this is you. This has. This is. I thought it could be Jay. This is. I really think this is you. This just sounds like something you would do and be, like, brazen enough to admit it.

[Big J Okerson]

You're a bad guy.

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't mean even mean it like that. I just mean, like, I just look

[Louis J. Gomez]

at him defending, defending. He's like, not a bad guy. I mean, you're going to be a bad guy to do this. Any guy would do this.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, really, a normal guy can make a mistake, but I think it's Louis. But just so you know, like, don't judge Louis hard when this is Louis, don't judge him hard because, like, this is El Mary.

[Sam Tripoli]

Pass.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is. I'm telling you, this is Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lauren, what are you thinking over there?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

You.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You listen. You do A show called First Date. You've had a bunch of us on your show before, so you kind of know us in the way we are with women. Who are you thinking right now?

[Sam Tripoli]

I mean, you're hitting on a pregnant right now.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I am hitting on a pregnant chick.

[Sam Tripoli]

A chick who's pregnant.

[Joe DeRosa]

Pregnant again and also married. He's hitting on a married pregnant woman

[Big J Okerson]

in front of an audience.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Hold on, hold on.

[Tim Butterly]

What?

[Louis J. Gomez]

She's so hot. Shut up.

[Big J Okerson]

Keep in mind, also, Lewis and her husband, not necessarily friends.

[Lauren Compton]

Lewis has admitted on my podcast that he's cheated before.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, I'm a guy.

[Big J Okerson]

I mean, throw a dart.

[Sam Tripoli]

He's a guy.

[Big J Okerson]

Throw a dart, lady.

[Sam Tripoli]

No, I don't know.

[Lauren Compton]

I think this is. Louis, I think you're flying under the radar.

[Big J Okerson]

As what? Too much a drunken piece of.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I don't. I don't know what she said. I just got lost in her eyes. Whatever. Whatever you want. Yes, Louis.

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

Lewis.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Lewis. Lewis. Hold on.

[Lauren Compton]

I don't know. It's either Lewis or Joe.

[Big J Okerson]

I agree.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's either Lewis or Joe.

[Big J Okerson]

Could be Sam.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's. It's. This has. I can't even believe we. What we've witnessed just on this stage. Louis, this is you. 1000%.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Pregnant women are so hot. Once you have a baby.

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

Baby.

[Louis J. Gomez]

You'll be very attracted to pregnant women. I'm telling you right now.

[Big J Okerson]

Later, on your own time.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is. By the way, this is what he said to his friend after he hit on the friend's wife.

[Big J Okerson]

Dude, she's so hot, bro. Oh, and she's pregnant, so I know she loves cream. Guys, I love finishing in the warm and wet, but you understand.

[Joe DeRosa]

I understand.

[Big J Okerson]

That's your wife. That's your betrothed.

[Joe DeRosa]

We watched you hit on Heidi on this very show. It's just you, dude.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, my God, Joe, you're making a good argument because Lewis is trash. Garbage.

[Louis J. Gomez]

We're all trash. Garbage.

[Big J Okerson]

We're all trash. Garbage, dude. But this ain't my trash.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Garbage, Joe, is my vote.

[Sam Tripoli]

Catch a tiger by the toe.

[Lauren Compton]

It's not me, bro.

[Big J Okerson]

Oh, wow, that's panicky.

[Sam Tripoli]

I need. Yeah, that's panicky.

[Lauren Compton]

Can we just jerk you? Do you guys notice he's voted for me every single time, for every.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's not true at all. That's not true at all.

[Big J Okerson]

Well, he can't give you a ticket and demand your number. He's trying to get some attention.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm just going to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Oh, my God.

[Big J Okerson]

I think it could be Sam.

[Sam Tripoli]

I don't give a. I think I got I just.

[Big J Okerson]

This could be Sam and he could have our worlds up just now. It's probably drunk Joe.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex. All of our answers are in who got so drunk they once hit on a friend's bed.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

House story number seven belongs to.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Look at his face.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Joe Derosa.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Vile. Horrendous. He is vile and horrendous.

[Big J Okerson]

Horrendous.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm not proud of it. I would not like to talk about it any further.

[Sam Tripoli]

Who was the friend?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Was it a comic?

[Joe DeRosa]

No, no.

[Big J Okerson]

Bill Burs.

[Sam Tripoli]

And we.

[Joe DeRosa]

We had. We talked about it afterwards. I was very embarrassed, and I actually wrote about it. I used to have a monthly editorial that I wrote for Penthouse, and I actually wrote about it. It was the worst mistake I ever made. I was very mortified.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What. How close of a friend was it?

[Joe DeRosa]

He was a pretty good friend.

[Louis J. Gomez]

And how.

[Big J Okerson]

How.

[Louis J. Gomez]

How'd you hit on the girl? Like, pretend. Pretend Jay's the girl.

[Big J Okerson]

Be like this. Or like this.

[Louis J. Gomez]

J. J. J's the girl.

[Joe DeRosa]

Nothing.

[Big J Okerson]

Teacher lesson or you just want to send the message.

[Joe DeRosa]

Nothing crazy, but it's just I. I definitely flirted with her. Like, I just was out of my head. I was out of my head. I think I took mushrooms. Molly. And I was drinking.

[Louis J. Gomez]

What were some of the things you

[Sam Tripoli]

were saying to her?

[Joe DeRosa]

I don't remember.

[Big J Okerson]

I don't.

[Joe DeRosa]

I honestly don't remember. It wasn't anything like crazy. I just.

[Lauren Compton]

Was.

[Big J Okerson]

Is that called something when you do all those things? I was like. Like doodle flipping or something. Oh, we were doodle flipping out.

[Joe DeRosa]

That's a walber.

[Big J Okerson]

We were Wahlberg.

[Joe DeRosa]

I was wahlberging.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Seven stories down. Alex, where are points at all?

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Right? In last place, with six points, Sam Tripley.

[Lauren Compton]

Stop voting for me and you'll win.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't clap.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

In fourth place, with eight points, points, Lauren Compton. In third place with 10 points, Joe DeRosa. In second place with 13 points, Big J. Okerson. And in first place, with 23 points, Louis J. Gomez.

[Louis J. Gomez]

At this point, it is impossible for anybody to catch up with me. It is my book. Dallas 1963. We'll play one more round for shits

[Big J Okerson]

and gigs you're gonna enjoy. Dallas 1963. With spellbinding storytelling, Bill Minitaglio and Stephen L. Davis present an accurate understanding of what happened in the weeks and months leading to John F. Kennedy's assassination. Dallas 1963 is a sobering reminder of how radical, polarizing ideologies can poison a city and a nation. It stays right here in the Story wars library because Louis is a no down scumbag.

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

Cheater.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I know it's Joe. You and Joe were the scumbags.

[Big J Okerson]

Pooh,

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex or Tim. Let's do our final story.

[Sam Tripoli]

Triple points.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Sorry. You usually say story number eight.

[Tim Butterly]

Once a friend did liquid acid and then shrooms. On the ride home, he was tripping so hard he stripped naked and tried to hump me. We kicked him out of a moving van and never saw him again.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I have almost this exact story. But I was the friend who did liquid acid.

[Joe DeRosa]

Now this is Sam.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah. This is a Sam Tripoli type story.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is Sam.

[Lauren Compton]

The.

[Joe DeRosa]

The. The. The specifics. The.

[Sam Tripoli]

Why is it a Sam story?

[Joe DeRosa]

Liquid acid.

[Big J Okerson]

Shrooms.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Van tripping.

[Big J Okerson]

Tripping. Tripoli. It's all there.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Trying. Tripping so hard that he tried to hump me. That could easily be Lauren. I want to hump Lauren now. And I'm sober.

[Lauren Compton]

But he hangs out with gay guys that deep throat bongs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

That's also true.

[Sam Tripoli]

You're such a homophobe.

[Lauren Compton]

This guy tried to hump you. This could be the same night.

[Big J Okerson]

It's true.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's some weird logic.

[Joe DeRosa]

I'm telling you. This is Sam. This has got like. This is a wild story.

[Louis J. Gomez]

But can I make the point about Lauren, though? You understand?

[Sam Tripoli]

I did coke.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Guys are. Guys are funny. Like a dude trying to hump you. We're not gonna kick him out of a moving van. Him trying to assault a beautiful young blonde.

[Big J Okerson]

She's with somebody. Louis. You say a girl. 75 adjectives. A voluptuous. Ever evolving. Ever evolving. Vivacious.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got to go jerk off.

[Sam Tripoli]

Have you ever seen anybody do acid long?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got to get it out. I got to get the evil out.

[Sam Tripoli]

I'm surprised you didn't do it before the show.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I got to get it.

[Sam Tripoli]

That's why you're in the bathroom so long.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Yeah, dude.

[Joe DeRosa]

It was.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It was Sigler on the early show horn. Compton on this show. I got to go home and jerk off. This is crazy.

[Joe DeRosa]

It's not. It's not Lauren.

[Big J Okerson]

She.

[Joe DeRosa]

She's wearing a ball gown right now. Like she's not hanging out in a van with you.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Don't think she was.

[Sam Tripoli]

Drugs.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Mesquite.

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, Mesquite. That's all they do is acid.

[Lauren Compton]

I didn't always wear ball gowns.

[Joe DeRosa]

This is awesome.

[Sam Tripoli]

Sometimes she wore bald gown.

[Big J Okerson]

How are you, Joe?

[Joe DeRosa]

Lauren. Lauren.

[Sam Tripoli]

Why is she the only one who enjoyed that?

[Louis J. Gomez]

I enjoyed it.

[Sam Tripoli]

Thank you.

[Joe DeRosa]

Lauren talks a lot when it's not her. She got very quiet when it was her. I don't think this is Lauren. I think this is Sam Tripoli, 1000.

[Sam Tripoli]

I think it's.

[Big J Okerson]

You got me. I voted for Sam.

[Louis J. Gomez]

It's either Sam or Lauren.

[Lauren Compton]

I think it's Sam.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm gonna go with Lauren. Just for shits and giggles.

[Sam Tripoli]

I think I'm gonna go Lauren. Just to keep it consistent.

[Tim Butterly]

Dear fans, always bring their own scorecards to write the answers on. This is crazy. Why are you not throwing it to the them?

[Louis J. Gomez]

Alex, all of our answers are in.

[Lauren Compton]

We got a Sam. Who's the other one? Sam. There's a third one I saw out there. Sam, all Sam. All you, bro.

[Louis J. Gomez]

All right, all right. It's too. All of our answers are in. Alex, whose story was story number eight.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

Story number eight belongs to Sam Tripoli.

[Sam Tripoli]

I gotta come up with different story stories.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Sam, is there any more to the story? Who was this you never saw?

[Sam Tripoli]

Yeah, we were doing a show in prep. Barstow.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

No.

[Sam Tripoli]

Where was it? Nevada. Just outside where, like, prostitution's legal. And we literally got hired to do a gig Promp. Nevada. That's where it was. And we got hired to do a gig for these rednecks. They were raising money so they could. This true story. They're raising money so they could build a rocket that runs on human fecal matter because. Because they wanted to go to space. And they brought me the house. They showed me the designs and everything, and I was bombing so hard. And the only way I got out to get my ass kicked is I told them I was from the nra and I was there to say their second amendment rights. So there's drugs everywhere. My friend Matt does two hits of liquid acid, and then he's like, I don't feel anything. And I go, well, you know, let. Give it time. He's like, no, I'm going to say something to the drug dealer. So. So he walks up to the drug dealer. He goes, I don't feel anything. The drug dealer. I watched this happen. Just took the bottle of liquid acid, poured it down his throat, and then by the time he came back, we got in this fat sack of mushrooms, like a giant pack. He just grabbed the mushrooms and started eating all the shrooms. Yeah. And I'm like, we got to get back to Vegas now. 40 minutes in, Buck naked, jerking off, yelling, matt, man's got to come the whole time, right? And then he gets up, and he just starts trying to get me pregnant, dude. He's like. He's on me. So the car, the guy driving's on acid. We open the door, we just kick him out into the. Into the darkness. And we never Heard from him again.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Great story. The great Sam Tripoli.

[Joe DeRosa]

I feel like.

[Big J Okerson]

I feel like that answered the question as to some kind of cold case somewhere.

[Louis J. Gomez]

Give us our final scores. We all. We all know who won already, but make it official.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

In last place, with eight points, Sam Tripoli. In fourth place with 12 points, Lauren Compton. In third place with 14 points, Joe DeRosa. In second place with 17 points, Big J. Okerson.

[Big J Okerson]

What kind of shitty thing was that to say? You know what this motherfucker just said to me? Oh, no microphone. He goes. He goes. Jay Okerson with 17 points. He went closer than it should have been. What the fuck are you thinking? What are we, a thing?

[Tim Butterly]

Also, he gestured for Lauren to pass the novel back. We all just signed so he can take it home.

[Alex (Producer/Announcer)]

And in first place, your winner tonight with 23 points, Lewis J. Gomez,

[Louis J. Gomez]

Everybody.

[Big J Okerson]

How about it for Louis J. Gomez, Tonight's winner. Taking them down, 1963. How about a big, big round of applause for our amazing panel? Up here, the great Lauren Compton, Sam Tripoli. The violent, horrendous Joe derosa, Tim Butterly. Thank you guys for checking out Story Wars. I'm Big J Oakerson.

[Louis J. Gomez]

I'm Louis S.H. gomez.

[Big J Okerson]

Until next time. P.E.

[Sponsor Voice/Announcer]

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