"Doing Stuff" w/ Tessa Belle

Summary

Summary of "StraightioLab" Podcast Episode: "Doing Stuff" Featuring Tessa Belle

Release Date: July 15, 2025

Hosts: George Severus and Sam Taggart
Guest: Tessa Belle (portrayed by Ryan Seacrest)

---

1. Introduction and Stand-Up Tour Announcement

The episode begins with a brief announcement about George and Sam embarking on their "Sam and George Stand Up Tour." They mention performing in various cities, including Chicago, Philadelphia, D.C., Boston, Toronto, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles, and Maine. This announcement sets a light-hearted tone, emphasizing their commitment to stand-up comedy over podcasting during the summer and fall seasons.

Quote:
Sam Taggart [02:22]: "It's called Sam and George Stand Up Tour. It rhymes. Kind of."

2. Podcast Opening Remarks [03:18]

George and Sam start the podcast by humorously discussing their unique way of introducing each episode. George points out that Sam always begins with an emotional statement about their location or decision, which George finds both important and slightly redundant.

Quote:
George Severus [03:22]: "Mind you, I love how every time when we introduce the episode, the first thing you say is where we are."

3. Introduction of Guest: Tessa Belle [10:34]

The hosts introduce their guest, Tessa Belle, who is humorously portrayed by Ryan Seacrest. Tessa joins the conversation to explore the episode's theme, "Doing Stuff," and to provide her perspective on straight culture.

Quote:
George Severus [10:34]: "Please give a warm round of applause to Tessa Belle."

4. Segment: Straight Shooters [28:31]

In the "Straight Shooters" segment, George and Sam engage Tessa in a rapid-fire game of "this or that" to assess her familiarity with straight culture. The segment is designed to highlight cultural differences and provoke humorous responses.

Notable Exchanges:

• George Severus [28:31]: "Tessa, I was born to run or starships were meant to fly."
• Tessa Belle [28:38]: "Starships."
• Sam Taggart [28:45]: "Lost in the sauce or Oshkosh B'"
• Tessa Belle [28:45]: "Lost in the sauce. Bless this mess."

5. Rating the Guest's Performance [30:23]

After the game, George and Sam rate Tessa's performance in the "Straight Shooters" segment. They commend her for showing vulnerability and clever humor, ultimately awarding her a high score of 900 doves.

Quote:
George Severus [30:23]: "I think, I have to say, I actually think she did a really good."

6. Discussion: Being Outspoken vs. Well-Adjusted [07:18 - 08:07]

George and Sam dive into a discussion about their tendency to be well-adjusted versus being outspoken. They reflect on how being too well-adjusted might negatively impact their careers as comedians, suggesting that maintaining a certain level of dysfunction could be beneficial for their comedic persona.

Quote:
George Severus [07:43]: "We cannot decide if we want to or don't want to be outspoken."

7. Exploring Straight Culture's Reliance on Activities [37:03 - 38:43]

The conversation shifts to dissecting straight culture's emphasis on shared activities ("doing stuff") as a means of interaction and relationship-building. Ryan (portraying Tessa) elaborates that straight interactions often require structured activities to facilitate connections, contrasting this with the communication-centric nature of gay culture.

Quote:
Ryan Seacrest [37:03]: "Talking, having sex, that's for gay people. Straight people, they obviously kind of don't have anything in common or don't really know each other, so they need their interaction to be, like, mediated by an activity."

8. Comparing LA and New York Approaches to "Doing Stuff" [40:26 - 43:44]

George and Sam compare how Los Angeles and New York approach the concept of "doing stuff." They highlight that while LA focuses on planning and engaging in various activities without excessive spending, New York tends to emphasize spending money without necessarily engaging in productive activities.

Quotes:
Sam Taggart [40:45]: "New York is about spending money to not do stuff somehow. And LA is about not spending money to do stuff."

George Severus [40:54]: "Coming over to the house for a game night. LA is all about somehow, like, constantly planning activities but not paying for them."

9. Communication in Relationships

The hosts discuss the complexities of communication in relationships, particularly highlighting how over-communication can sometimes be counterproductive. They critique the notion that merely facilitating communication isn't enough if it's not meaningful or effective.

Quotes:
Ryan Seacrest [60:05]: "Communication is always thought of as being inherently, like, virtuous. And I'm like, well, again, it should be good communication. Like, just communicating itself isn't good."

Sam Taggart [63:26]: "I do think there's a. An epidemic of over communication currently, and it needs to be stopped."

10. Monoculture in Media [56:07 - 67:57]

The discussion moves to the concept of "monoculture"—the dominance of certain media narratives that shape societal norms. They reference popular shows like "Two and a Half Men," criticizing how such shows become widely recognized despite mixed quality, thus reinforcing specific cultural standards.

Quotes:
Sam Taggart [66:28]: "That's monoculture in the classic way. It's like network shows where you're like, this. Like, this is horrible. And yet 4 billion people watched this."

George Severus [66:34]: "Yes, Netflix is like monoculture. It’s like a whole Broadway cast making similar shows."

11. Handling Online Backlash and Integrity [12:05 - 64:57]

A significant portion of the episode addresses how to handle online criticism and maintain integrity as public figures. They discuss strategies like selectively deleting comments, the importance of authentic communication, and the challenges of navigating social media's often hostile environment.

Quotes:
George Severus [12:44]: "I don't think I would delete comments that are about my physical appearance. I do. I would be similarly. I'd be like, you know what? This is? It's good for people to know."

Ryan Seacrest [64:23]: "I no longer go on it during the day, but what I do is once a day, in the evening, usually before bed, I go on desktop and I scroll for approximately 10 minutes. And what happens is the algorithm naturally gives me the top gay guy jokes of the day and I'm in heaven."

12. Shoutouts Segment [72:02 - 74:53]

The episode concludes with a "Shoutouts" segment where George, Sam, and Tessa pay homage to friends and influential figures in their lives. They express appreciation for personalities like Lisa Kudrow and Cam from "Modern Family," and encourage listeners to support each other's creative endeavors.

Notable Shoutouts:

• George Severus [75:27]: "Shout out to Lisa Kudrow, the only woman with integrity in this town."

• Sam Taggart [76:26]: "Shout out to jk... and the guy who plays Cam on Modern Family."

13. Closing Remarks and Promotions [84:35 - 85:13]

Post-discussion, the hosts and guest engage in lighthearted banter, touching on topics like spec scripts and personal projects. They also promote their Patreon and YouTube channels for listeners interested in supporting and accessing additional content.

Quote:
George Severus [84:25]: "Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month."

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Key Themes and Insights

1. Cultural Mediation Through Activities:
   The hosts argue that straight culture's reliance on shared activities can impede deeper personal connections, contrasting with the communication-focused dynamics often found in LGBTQ communities.

2. Balancing Outspokenness and Well-Adjustment:
   George and Sam explore the tension between maintaining public personas that are well-adjusted versus being authentically outspoken, questioning which approach benefits their careers as comedians.

3. Impact of Monoculture in Media:
   The conversation highlights how dominant media narratives can shape societal expectations, often perpetuating specific cultural norms through widely consumed but critically mixed content.

4. Navigating Online Backlash:
   Strategies for handling online criticism are discussed, including the selective deletion of comments and maintaining authentic communication to preserve personal integrity.

5. Comparative Cultural Practices:
   Insights into how different cities like LA and New York approach social interactions and activities provide a nuanced understanding of urban cultural dynamics.

6. The Complexity of Communication in Relationships:
   The hosts dissect how over-communication or superficial interactions can lead to misunderstandings in both straight and gay relationships, emphasizing the need for meaningful dialogue.

---

Conclusion

The "Doing Stuff" episode of "StraightioLab" offers a blend of humor and critical analysis as George and Sam, alongside their guest Tessa Belle, delve into the intricacies of straight culture. Through engaging segments like "Straight Shooters" and thoughtful discussions on topics ranging from cultural mediation to media monoculture, the hosts provide listeners with both entertainment and insightful commentary on societal norms and personal dynamics.

By incorporating notable quotes and timestamps, the summary captures the essence of the episode, making it accessible and informative for those who haven't listened to the full podcast.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

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[George Severus]

Speaking of tanning, I was sunning my.

[Sam Taggart]

Nether regions cause I read that you're supposed to like get sun not only in your mouth but also in your other orifices.

[George Severus]

Wait, are you talking about you put.

[Sam Taggart]

Your hole into the sun? I did. That's crazy.

[George Severus]

Downward dog mooning the sun. I was gonna say. Is it cheeks open? It's cheeks open all the way wide. Is it cheeks open?

[Sam Taggart]

Uh huh.

[George Severus]

Who's holding them?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Enough of that nonsense.

[George Severus]

Now listen to High key on the iHeartRadio Apple Podcasts are wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's Oral Care Month, which means you can earn four times points on all.

[Sam Taggart]

Your favorite oral care brands.

[George Severus]

Now through July 15th. Shop in store or online for items like Colgate Toothpaste, Listerine Mouthwash, Crest Mouthwash or Toothpaste. Sensodyne Toothpaste. Hello, toothpaste or gum flossers and earn four times points. Points can be redeemed for future discounts on gas or groceries. Offer ends July 15. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Hootie Hoo. This is a quick announcement to say that we, Sam Taggart and George Severus, are going on a standup tour. That's right, a standup tour. No podcasting allowed this summer and fall.

[Sam Taggart]

It's called Sam and George Stand Up Tour. It rhymes. Kind of. And we're going to Chicago, Philly, D.C. boston, Toronto, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Los Angeles and Maine.

[George Severus]

Maybe more locations. Tbd. Let's just say we're looking into it. And sometimes that has worked for us in the past and sometimes it hasn't.

[Sam Taggart]

But folks, come see us split an hour of stand up. And we're so excited to see you.

[George Severus]

We're so excited. And you can get [e-mail] Stradolab that's linktree.com Stradiolab enjoy the app.

[Sam Taggart]

Podcast starts now. What's up, everyone? You are listening to Stradio Lab Bi Coastally.

[George Severus]

Mind you, I love how every time when we introduce the episode, the first thing you say is where we are.

[Sam Taggart]

I've decided.

[George Severus]

You either say bicoastally or I've decided.

[Sam Taggart]

That saying that is important so that people understand emotionally where we're at.

[George Severus]

No, I completely agree. And I want to just specify one more thing, which is currently, Sam is on a big screen and the vibe is like in the Bitch I'm Madonna video, where despite the fact that Madonna was able to get so many celebs in one room for the video, the one celeb she couldn't actually get to show up was the featured artist, Nicki Minaj. So when it's time for Nicki Minaj's verse, Madonna has to hold a flat screen television while dancing.

[Sam Taggart]

Can you imagine being Nicki Minaj and being like, ugh, Madonna's calling again. She wants me to do this thing, like, and you just have to be like, well, I can't make her mad at me, but I really don't want to go.

[George Severus]

There is something about that song.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

That is really indescribable in that it is both incredibly important and a list. Like, it's important because it is a Sophie producer.

[Sam Taggart]

Of course.

[George Severus]

For example, like, that is crazy. It is a Sophie produced Madonna song. It features every possible celebrity, including literally Beyonce. But then, on the other hand, there is something so completely flop and D list about it.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, it's one of those songs that is so sort of wild and left turn and like, both, like, you know, Sophie produced but also so empty, where you're like, that song should have inspired conspiracy theories that Madonna had died. I think it's actually a failing on the LGBTQ community that there is not a conspiracy theory that that is not Madonna. She died before. That was her clone.

[George Severus]

I know. You know what it is. It's like there's too many things, both positive and negative going on that it actually, like, immediately prevents you from having a coherent thought about it.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

And I sort of think it is similar to our concept of the 60% on rotten tomatoes movie. Like, it transcends good or bad. It's like an onslaught of. An onslaught of visuals and differing aesthetics. And even, by the way, the title Bitch, I'm Madonna was so late for its time. The idea that it is, like, badass to say, bitch, I'm Madonna, that is something that is from 2002.

[Sam Taggart]

Well. Cause it was well after. It's Britney bitch. Right, Exactly.

[George Severus]

It makes no sense. And also, she wasn't having some big comeback or clapping back at the haters.

[Sam Taggart]

No.

[George Severus]

Everyone was like, yeah, I don't know. You're fine. Like, Confessions on a Dance Floor was maybe like seven years ago. Like, you're still pretty much in our good grades.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, everybody loves you, actually.

[George Severus]

Yeah. And then she's like, oh, I'll show them. I'll call up Beyonce.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, it is complicated when you have a generally defensive personality, but no one's mad at you. That can be really, really difficult.

[George Severus]

And that is actually why Jamila Jamil is my dream guest for this podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

As someone who is defensive, you feel.

[George Severus]

Yes. Don't you think?

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, but I think she's kind of earned it. Like, she's traumatized from being on the Internet.

[George Severus]

That's true. That's true. She's traumatized from. And actually, she's one of the few people where I actually think victim blaming can be a good thing. In terms of her experience on the Internet, I say, you know, yes, you are the victim and that people are cyberbullying you, but you are also the one that's like, good morning. Can someone please cyberbully me?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, well, that's that thing. She's not, like, born defensive. She's born, like, feeling like people should. She has, like, low self confidence, and so she gets people on the Internet mad at her so that she's like, see? Yeah, everyone hates me.

[George Severus]

Well, she also. She also does this thing where she's like, okay, so we're not allowed to be outspoken anymore. And it's like, Right. So the issue with being outspoken is that by definition, you are inviting criticism. That's the entire thing. And if you don't want to be outspoken, you're not going to invite criticism.

[Sam Taggart]

No, that's true. Do you consider yourself outspoken?

[George Severus]

This is literally the defining question of my life and of our end of our careers. I would say you and. Yeah, because I think that you and I, despite the fact that we are probably the most talented comedians globally, needless to say, cannot decide if we want to or don't want to be outspoken. And I'm not talking about politically I'm talking more generally. We cannot decide what our relationship is to being like. Would you agree?

[Sam Taggart]

I 100% agree. I can't even decide what my relationship is to the spotlight as a concept. You know, there was a point when I was like, of course I need the spotlight. But over the last five years, I've been very much like, well, like, don't look at me too much.

[George Severus]

Also, we were just saying how we were in a room and we were like, wait, we're the most well adjusted, and that's not good for our career.

[Sam Taggart]

No, our whole thing is being well adjusted. And it's.

[George Severus]

One of us. One of us needs to get divorced in the next five.

[Sam Taggart]

I think otherwise, I think it's in the cards.

[George Severus]

I really do know something needs to happen. I don't know. I'm a little bit like. And here's the other thing. How do we go back to Madonna and then we will bring in our guests?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

How do we. How do we channel being well adjusted into a ray of light rather than into a boring album? You know what I mean?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I mean, you can be too well adjusted. We can run with that. Like, we can run towards, like. Like, we can go Neil Patrick Harris mode and be like, look how perfect our family is. And then people will backlash against that in a nice way. So I think maybe we can just lean into being well adjusted and claim that we are the most well adjusted people on earth. We should get, like, sort of a, you know, publicist to run with that. Get a spread in People magazine about, like, finally a comedian that's well adjusted.

[George Severus]

And I'm picturing a profile. Get this, the headline. Sam and George are doing just fine.

[Sam Taggart]

That feels so good. I can hear. I can see it. I can see the photo shoot.

[George Severus]

Yes. It's us in our living room, mid century modern. And we have our, you know, golden lab. And one of us is laughing and one of us is putting tea in a little.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh. And we're leaning hard. We're leaning on, like, couches and chairs.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's gonna be good.

[George Severus]

And then there's really bitchy gay guys on Twitter that are, like, cannot stand their lean.

[Sam Taggart]

Tell a gay guy to sit and they do this.

[George Severus]

Yeah, okay.

[Sam Taggart]

That's really good. I think there's a future for us.

[George Severus]

Okay. All right, I'm all in. And our Neil Patrick Harris. That's his name, right?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, that's his name.

[George Severus]

Okay, sorry. You know when a name is so, like, down the line basic that you're like, that can't Be real.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn. I can't believe you're disrespecting npa.

[George Severus]

I literally, like, I was like, that can't be his real name. But it is.

[Sam Taggart]

That happened to me yesterday. We were talking about Pedro Pascal, and I was like, wait, did I just say his name completely wrong? Like, I was like, that can't be his name. It's so simple.

[George Severus]

Yeah. I always want to say Pablo Pascal.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, sure. That's nice, too.

[George Severus]

He should consider changing it.

[Sam Taggart]

There you go.

[George Severus]

Should we bring in our guest?

[Sam Taggart]

Let's do it. Do the honor since you're in the room.

[George Severus]

Oh, my God. I've been looking at her this whole time, but trying not to make eye contact because she was not allowed to speak. But honestly, this is. This is one of the main gals in New York City. Please give a warm round of applause to Tessa Bell.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hi.

[Sam Taggart]

Hi.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm so happy. That was so hard to not talk.

[George Severus]

You were. I just want to say you're doing such a good job of laughing, because sometimes guests don't laugh during the intro.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I'm. I'm a lifelong listener and fan.

[Sam Taggart]

You are. You are five years old.

[George Severus]

You actually are.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm actually late for my class. I. I'm still in high school. That's why I was late. I was, like, taking the sat. Wait, wait, you guys said. Oh, can I say gay guys Will. Will literally lean before going to therapy.

[Sam Taggart]

Woo.

[George Severus]

Wow. Tessa. We actually have to pay Tessa to lead the charge to bully us so that we can develop backlash and then have a reputation era.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally. Yeah. You're a bad boy era.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's really awkward, Turtle, to have to watch you guys talk and not say anything.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, duh. I mean.

[George Severus]

Okay, say something. Interesting talent. Yeah. That is difficult.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I've been on for two minutes. I'm bombing literally.

[George Severus]

Joking.

[Sam Taggart]

No.

[George Severus]

What is your relationship to online back? Not. Not. Not backlash against you. What is your relationship as an Internet user to. Have you ever participated in an onslaught? Have you ever.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, but I receive hate.

[George Severus]

We know.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, wait, I don't know. Tell me, tell me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's like, five seconds ago, you're like, jamila's asking for it.

[George Severus]

You're literally like, no, no, you do receive. You do receive backlash.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I just sympathize because one time I went viral one single time on Earth. And now for celebrities, I'm like, it's actually really hard to be a celebrity. And, like, they can hear you. Like, Taylor Swift can hear you, y'.

[George Severus]

All.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She's listening.

[Sam Taggart]

No, no, no, it's true.

[George Severus]

You. And you got backlash because you are kind of beautiful and have long hair. Correct.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Definitely. It's like, I was a woman and that was my mistake and it'll never happen again. Lesson learned. Okay, but they're making really interesting points in the comments.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, they always do.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I never delete because I believe in a free press.

[George Severus]

Oh, yes, we actually do.

[Sam Taggart]

We're deleting left and right.

[George Severus]

We're deleting left and right, actually.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm like, if someone calls me busted, I'm like, that's valid. And I'm hearing you out.

[George Severus]

I don't think. I don't think I would delete comments that are about my physical appearance. I do. I would be similarly. I'd be like, you know what? This is? It's good for people to know. Some people don't think I'm attractive. And that's okay.

[Sam Taggart]

It humanizes me.

[George Severus]

But then if it humanizes. That's exactly right. And I actually love being an underdog. But then if someone is commenting like what you guys said, if someone is commenting like, yeah, you guys have never supported women on the podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm deleting when a woman is like, I don't feel hurt as a woman. You're gonna go ahead and delete.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I'm gonna say, I'm not listening. I'm not listening.

[George Severus]

La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, Sam, do you care about me?

[Sam Taggart]

In what capacity?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, we don't get to hang out like me and George get to hang out, but, you know, I'm from la, you're from la. People don't know I'm from la. And it's like, you think I'm ugly. No, that's what that means. You don't believe I could be from la.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm like, so at the moment, whenever anyone tells me they're from la, I'm like, okay, so your dad is Bob Iger?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I'm the only person who's not Nepo. And so it, like, it doesn't matter.

[George Severus]

Well, you're kind of like the Heim sisters in that way.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Thank you for saying that. Well, I'm trying to spread the rumor that I'm Heim. That I'm one of them.

[George Severus]

Well, there's. They're always unveiling new Heims and new Hadid, and all you have to do is like, either look vaguely facelifted or look vaguely long haired. Thank you. And you kind of can be either one.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I agree. I sometimes see a photo of them and think it's me.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, no, same.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But I'm from LA Truly.

[George Severus]

Okay. And you're from LA Proper.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Like Venice beach, which is now, like, Snapchat Cafeteria.

[George Severus]

Totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But it used to be a really interesting place.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[George Severus]

I think Venice Beach, I have to say, I think Venice beach, to me, is like, one of the few, like, punk rock places left in Los Angeles. I'm like, it actually. No, Sam. It actually has maintained its, like, crazy ethos, I think. Don't you?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think it's like, tech. It's like.

[George Severus]

No, no, it is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're getting, like, Snapchat sunglasses.

[George Severus]

Yeah, but you're also. But you're also seeing someone. Like a white person with dreads.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's my brother. Yeah. I'm like, you're seeing my brother? He's so cool.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait, so then why did you go New York mode?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Um, I do. I think that it's like the. I'm like, I'm trying to do a media trained response. Well, it's like, I think you should come up. You should develop your voice in New York. And now I'm just getting. I'm trying to get famous enough that I can move home and, like, see my mom.

[George Severus]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I miss my mom, I miss my dog, and I would love to book so I can see them again.

[George Severus]

Do you not like New York?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love it here. I love New York.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, which is it? What's true?

[George Severus]

Oh, my God.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm bi. I'm bi. Okay. It's pride and I'm bi.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, so you hate chic.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Have you ever even been to Chicago?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I have. I actually studied abroad in Chicago. I really did. When I was in college, I took a semester off and did improv camp, where I went to improv five days a week.

[Sam Taggart]

No, literally, I did the work. No, that's huge.

[George Severus]

I just want to say not to out you and we can bleep this, but you were doing that while enrolled in an Ivy League university, and that makes it so much worse. You literally worked so hard. You worked so hard. You come from humble beginnings in Venice Beach. You literally get into an Ivy League university, and you're saying, I'm going to study abroad to do improv?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I got into Yale because my mom bought a building. I said that once, and somebody was like, oh, thank you for being honest. A lot of people would lie about that. And I'm like, okay, so you actually, like. I actually did get into that school.

[George Severus]

You're like, I'm lying. I'm a Heim sister. I'M the one that did not get any of the money.

[Sam Taggart]

I find lying to be complicated. I'm. I'm feeling more and more like people don't understand when things are tongue in cheek, and it's really freaking me out. And I don't. I don't want to dumb myself down. Of course. I want to be able to lie at a moment's notice and have everyone be like, well, we know you're cool, so. You're kidding. Of course. But, for example, George and I are on the verge of posting a soon to be viral Pride clip that I just know in my bones is going to go negative. Viral.

[George Severus]

I could see. I could sense that you thought that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, you guys. I forgot to say, happy Pride.

[Sam Taggart]

Tessa.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Are you guys. I'm sorry.

[Sam Taggart]

What the fuck?

[George Severus]

Are you bi or are you not?

[Ryan Seacrest]

A lot of people ask that question.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, are you guys going to fire.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait, so you're not going to answer?

[George Severus]

Excuse me. Are you bi or are you not? Answer the question.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right. No, I am bi.

[George Severus]

Prove it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm like, okay, so if I kiss you, if I kiss somebody who's on a television and somebody has a ouch, that's fine.

[George Severus]

Exactly. No, to answer your question, we. To answer your stereotype perpetuating question, we are not going to Fire island this year. But we have both been in the past.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To me, it's like it's the Met Gala and it's like I'm linking and building on Fire Island.

[George Severus]

But I'm going to P Town.

[Sam Taggart]

You're going to P Town.

[George Severus]

So here's the thing. What would you expect? You would expect me to go to P Town in the summer with gay guys. Guess what? I'm going to P Town in October with lesbians. Deal with it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You contain multitudes.

[George Severus]

Literally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're fucking crazy.

[George Severus]

I'm fucking crazy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I. I want to go to P Town.

[George Severus]

No, P Town is actually the dream.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love going to Fire island because I'm like, airdropping my fucking spec scripts everywhere. I'm chasing down Billy Eichner with a gun.

[George Severus]

Totally. Well, if you go to P Town, you can chase down John Waters, you can chase down John Cameron Mitchell, you can chase down Dina. Martina. She doesn't have as much power in the end.

[Sam Taggart]

Rosie o' donnell's up there all the time.

[George Severus]

ROSIE o'. Donnell.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, it's a who's who. I find I do prefer Fire island. If we're choosing which I think we must. Choo. But that's just because, like, there's Something about there's too much town in P Town, you know, there's too much civilization. And I say I want.

[George Severus]

It's not as much of an astronomer.

[Sam Taggart]

I want to be off the grid.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love that. It's like the only place to get food is, like, the lesbian side of the island.

[Sam Taggart]

Literally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Could not be more on the nose.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

But no, I'm choosing to have, like, sort of an unconventional summer. And by that I mean normal, and not go on a gay vacation, which is quite sad, but we have to be strong and we have to hold our loved ones close. Close. But also that's.

[George Severus]

You have to do that the summer you get married. It's like how I didn't go on a gay vacation last summer because I got married.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I was worried when I saw you that you were getting married, that this podcast was gonna be canceled because.

[Sam Taggart]

We'Re both and well adjusted.

[George Severus]

I was like, well, this is what we're talking about. We're too. Well, we, we have to either, literally, this is what we're talking about. We actually have to either lean into being married and get canceled for being assimilationist.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally.

[George Severus]

Or we have to, like, really go bad boy. Ooh.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think you guys should. I think you should go straight.

[Sam Taggart]

What do you mean? Like, fully, like, heterose, like, date women.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's. It's like you have a podcast called Stradio Lab, and you're like, what is like, you invented the podcast.

[George Severus]

I didn't invent it. Yeah, I mean, I will say sometimes I'll see Radiolab pop up, and I'm like, hello.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, Beef, Beef, Beef.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait. So, okay, you're LA forever. Are you coming back? I, I, it's very antagonistic between the three of us.

[Sam Taggart]

No, there's something up. Like, I don't know what because you're by. I don't know what it is. There's something up.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, but, Sam, the first. Do you remember the first time I met you? We were at the Gutter.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I do remember because we were.

[Ryan Seacrest]

On a show together, and I wanted Sam to think I was funny. So before my set, I was like, I think you're gonna watch. Wanna watch my set? You might like what you see. And then I think I like bald.

[George Severus]

I, I'm sure you didn't.

[Sam Taggart]

I think if I remember correctly, I came in after your set, and you came up to me and you're like, fuck. Like, I wanted you to see my set. Like, I want you to like me. And I was like, okay. And I was like, okay.

[George Severus]

Here, I will say this, Sam. You're being away for the time period you were away, it's like you've missed that. Tessa's kind of like a part of my life.

[Sam Taggart]

You're just revealing this to me now?

[George Severus]

Yeah. Like, Tessa's someone I see relatively often. We're friends. We like, gossip means the world. It's like, she's not just, like, an acquaintance.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm kind of confused where I'm like, so why did you have a guest? Why did you have me as a guest on this podcast? Sam is looking at me with, like, absolute hatred. I'm like, why are you being the joker?

[Sam Taggart]

Because George is like, are you not hearing? You should. We should be teaming up against George right now. Because what's happening is. It's like, okay, you can team up. He's literally like, you're my friend. And I'm like, okay, then you've never mentioned her to me. Like, if you're so close when the.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Roof came in and the truth came out, this is like. So I'm being a child of divorce right now, where it's like, I'm getting caught in the crossfire. For sure.

[George Severus]

I have this thing where, for people that I've, like, gotten closer to since Sam left, I feel a real, like. Not nostalgia. I don't know what the word is, but I'm like, every time I'm with them, I'm like, I wish Sam were here. I hate that I'm making connections without him.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No. That's so sweet, you guys.

[George Severus]

I feel this way about Esther. I feel like, because there's a new generation of. Well, in fact, Esther's my exact age, but there's a new generation of people that have come into the fray since you left, is all I'm saying.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay.

[George Severus]

And that's not your fault, but we.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Always, like, leave a chair open just in case you come.

[George Severus]

Yeah, we always leave a chair.

[Ryan Seacrest]

He's just late, but he's coming.

[Sam Taggart]

You guys, I have to say something.

[George Severus]

Okay.

[Sam Taggart]

Ever since my beautiful and amazing wedding, I've been like, wait, I have no friends in la. Like, I really am. Like, I've been putting in work and trying to hang out with people hard.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Are you friends with the dare?

[Sam Taggart]

Of course I'm friends with.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You should definitely hit up the dare.

[Sam Taggart]

Of course I'm friends with the dare. Of course I'm friends. New York based.

[George Severus]

I think he's New York based. Yeah. Sam wishes he could hang out with. The dare's texting him, like, happy birthday.

[Sam Taggart]

You think I'm not Hanging out with the dare. You think the dare isn't my best man at my wedding?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Can I say one grape about that? Yeah, one grape.

[Sam Taggart]

One grape is all it takes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's punching.

[George Severus]

Did you say one grape? Because you're drinking a grape and I speak weird Smirnoff. What is it? Spin.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Drink.

[Sam Taggart]

She's having a smear.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm like, drunk.

[George Severus]

What's your grape?

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's more about. Okay. And I. I love Charlie xcx and I would love to collaborate. I just think it's interesting that, like, careful, careful. No, I mean, you're trained.

[George Severus]

Careful.

[Sam Taggart]

No, keep going.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like a red. A red dot appears on my forehead.

[Sam Taggart]

Keep going, keep going.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I just think it's interesting that, like, it used to be Judd Apatow was the comedic cinematic universe, and now it's Charlie who is in charge of the comedic cinematic universe. Like, she is the comedy gatekeeper. And I'm like, that's interesting. That's all I'm saying.

[George Severus]

Charli XCX is the new Judd Apatow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

She's the new Judd. She's like, every single show, it's gonna be, Charlie's making it, Charlie's in it. And I'm like, okay, how do I get my materials?

[George Severus]

Charlie? I never knew that I would have to impress Charlie. Literally, that's where we're at. Like, I was very heavy just being a fan. Like, I'm comfortable with her being cooler than I am.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's unbelievable that I'm trying to get, like, these comedic parts and I'm, like, competing with Julia fox.

[Sam Taggart]

No, you're 100%. You are so right. This is like, one of the more genius takes. We have to blow this up because it's not fair. She's a musician. She shouldn't be in charge.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is where I'm like, I'm scared now.

[George Severus]

But this is. Well. And also. Okay. So Charlie's Judd Apatow. The Heims are snl. Basically, their short form video output is, you know, Meg Stalter level completely. So what's the tea?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't know what we're supposed to do.

[George Severus]

Next thing you know, Bon Iver is gonna start doing Weird Al.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, that would be actually really cool.

[Sam Taggart]

No, he'd be good at that. It would be really stunning.

[George Severus]

Okay. But here's. I have a sort of another outlook on this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sure.

[George Severus]

Historically, male musicians were allowed to be the funny ones. You know how Eminem would always be like, by the way, I'm no Eminem.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is why I started comedy. Like, we came up Together in the scene.

[George Severus]

Eminem. Every. The first two lead singles of every album. One would be about abuse and the other one would be a full on SNL featuring Kathy Griffin doing, like, full character work. So my point being that it's actually, like, justice that now women musicians are the funny ones.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. But it's not that Charli XCX is doing skits. It's that she is literally being. She's Lorne Michaels is what she is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Sam Taggart]

She's like, the kingmaker.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes. She's in charge of, like, the industry of it.

[George Severus]

I see it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's like the contracts and the deals where I'm like, if I want to greenlight a picture, I can't do that without Car. I can't do that without her. That's okay. I'm really happy for her.

[Sam Taggart]

You know how drag race change. Like, now every drag queen does RuPaul style drag to try to get on Drag Race. Now we're all doing sort of Charlie XCX style comedy so that she'll notice us. We're like, look how glamorous we are. Look, we're it girls and fabulous.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God. It's so. Because I. When I started doing standup, I would always wear, like a. A dumb little slutty outfit. And it really is a prison of my own making that now I have to, like, every time, wear a petticoat and a corset every time I'm on stage. It takes like five hours to get ready.

[Sam Taggart]

It's so annoying.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It takes so long.

[Sam Taggart]

That's really tough. Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos. But now the old gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the Old Gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare. With over 300 years of experience between them, hosts Robert, Mick, Bill, and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to love, sex, community, and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. Listen to these fabulous friends swap stories exploring how queer life has evolved over the decades and the silver linings they've collected along the way. Each episode dives into hot topics, from safe sex and online dating to untangling Gen Z lingo, as well as insights on how music, art, and fashion show up in queer culture. So check out Silver Linings, a show about how pride ages like fine wine. Available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[George Severus]

Should we not to Completely drive this conversation to a halt. Should we do our first oh, my God. So that we can get into the topic?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, because I'm like, no, that's a great point.

[George Severus]

I'm having too much fun.

[Ryan Seacrest]

We also, Sam, like, take your time. You should follow me on Instagram.

[George Severus]

Tessa. We had just gotten past the tension.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But I'm like, totally take your time. Do it on your own time. But, like, I challenge it and empower you to follow me on Instagram.

[George Severus]

Tessa, I'm gonna have to put you on timeout, and you are a high school student, so you have to listen to me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know. I'm like, can you guys drive me home after this? And my learner's permit. Wait, by the way, same. I care about you so much, and I think our vibe is really similar, and we have really good chemistry.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I wish we were in the same room, because then it could really, really pop off. I can tell.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm like, say it back.

[Sam Taggart]

That's. I said it. What the hell?

[George Severus]

You literally did say it. You require so much validation.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it's true. That is unf.

[Sam Taggart]

Unfair. I'm. I'm. I'm cold and I'm ungiving. This is what I am.

[George Severus]

No. Do you think you're cold and I'm giving?

[Sam Taggart]

Sometimes.

[George Severus]

So you're sort of like Dakota Johnson and materialist?

[Sam Taggart]

I'm like. I'm a lot like Dakota Johnson materialist.

[George Severus]

No, it never.

[Sam Taggart]

It's just, like, I'm not effusive, I think.

[George Severus]

No, that's true. That's true. I think people get confused because you're so. You're so positive and smiley and, like, bubbly and silly. Yeah, but you're not fake.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm not fake. It's.

[George Severus]

And that's actually one of your worst moments.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes. Literally, I'm, like, begging people.

[George Severus]

No, he's not. No. Sam will literally never, like, gas someone up if he doesn't believe it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, cool. So your word means something.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Unlike mine. It's like, obviously, we can't believe it all. No, I. I believe in complimenting. I feel like I. I like telling people that they're amazing. I think that's, like, very femme. I think femme culture is.

[Sam Taggart]

I like telling people that. Telling people they're amazing if I know it. Like, it's. The only problem is, I don't know. Like, you and George hang out all the time, so of course you're friends, and he can be like, of course we have amazing chemistry. I'm like, I don't know our chemistry yet. We barely have spoken.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So funny. I love you doubling down and being like, I don't know if you're amazing. I don't know yet. Like, we don't.

[George Severus]

Tessa, our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment we test your familiarity with and complicity in stick culture by asking you a series of rapid fire questions where you have to choose this thing or this other thing. And the one rule is you can't ask any follow up questions about how the game works. Do you copy?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally.

[George Severus]

Tessa. I was born to run or starships were meant to fly.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Starships. Starships.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Tessa. Lost in the sauce or oshkosh b'. Gosh.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Lost in the S. Bless this mess.

[George Severus]

Dress to impress or do you ever go by Tess?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you ever go.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Respect your elders and olds or inspect your shelter for mold.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, I think you should respect your elders. Obviously. I'm saying that because of the company.

[George Severus]

Okay, now we're old.

[Sam Taggart]

What is the deal?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, no, wait. I'm actually worried. I'm worried that your audience is gonna not like me. But I care about you guys so much. Like, I'm a. I'm literally a fan before I am like a peer.

[George Severus]

Having a need for speed or losing the will to read.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Losing the will to read.

[Sam Taggart]

Leftist politics or a sexist shopping route riff.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, definitely a sexist shopping riff.

[George Severus]

Women V. Posting whole on close friends or going to the Mole on the.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Weekend is the mold Mall. I never asked that. That would be a question I would ask if I didn't know the rules of the movie.

[George Severus]

Yes. Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[George Severus]

Thank you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Posting hole.

[Sam Taggart]

Intelligentsia Coffee or Anastasia Beverly Hills.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Anastasia Beverly Hills. I literally, like, I grew up there. I was born.

[Sam Taggart]

That's literally your home.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ye.

[Sam Taggart]

First of all. Okay.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

We rate our guests on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves. And I am so, you know, I'm feeling sort of this. This interesting style of trapped where, you know, if I give you a high score, it's a lot. We're faking it. If I give you a low score, I'm being mean and not. Not validating you. So I'm lost. George, what do you think the score is?

[George Severus]

I think. I have to say, I actually think she did a really good.

[Sam Taggart]

I agree.

[George Severus]

And I have reasons for it. I think that she showed vulnerability in the sort of offhand comment of like, I hope your audience likes me. I thought the save of asking a question, then immediately saying that's a question I would ask if I didn't know the rules was like a brilliant Meta commentary. Charli. XCX level comedy. I think she might be getting the role of cashier at Fire Island Pines liquor store when Charlie goes in there to buy poppers in her big film.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

And so I'm thinking a high score. Now we're talking 800 to a thousand range. Now, this is where it gets tricky.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, no.

[George Severus]

What do you. What do you think?

[Sam Taggart]

You know, I think we just gotta split the diff and say a clean 900 doves.

[George Severus]

A clean 900 doves.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Thank you, guys. That means a lot. I just, like, I care about good test scores.

[George Severus]

I know. Well, you just took the psat.

[Sam Taggart]

I forgot.

[George Severus]

And you got into Yale one time.

[Sam Taggart]

One time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I. For a long time, I was a. Like an SAT tutor or like a college essay tutor. I'm part of the college admissions scandal, you know?

[George Severus]

Are you?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No. But my boss was in that Netflix dog. Yeah, we're, like, editing the kids into pictures of them rowing. We're photo shopping them. Yeah.

[George Severus]

Someone had to do it still, every, like, approximately once a month, I'm like, I need to get into SAT tutoring because it's really good money and I'd be amazed.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, you'd be so good.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God, it's awesome. Especially college essays is more fun because it's like trauma porn. You have to be like, what's the worst thing that ever happened to you? Yeah, yeah. Like, a girl told me she was burned head to toe. H to T. I was like, you're going to go to Harvard. You got the sweetie pie.

[Sam Taggart]

There should be a materialist about a college essay person.

[George Severus]

Oh, my God, Sam, that's genius. That's actually, like, a better idea than materialists. No offense to Celine.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, I loved materialists. On record.

[George Severus]

Yes. For anyone who doesn't listen to the Patreon, the big reveal. I went in. I sort of didn't love materialists, but then Sam loved it so much that he won me over. And now I love materials.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my gosh. You saw it through Sam's eyes?

[George Severus]

Yes. At first I saw it through my eyes. I said, not for me.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally.

[George Severus]

Then I saw it through Sam's eyes. I said, oscar, Now.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm sorry that I haven't seen it yet. I didn't do them.

[Sam Taggart]

That's okay. That's okay.

[George Severus]

Are you going to.

[Ryan Seacrest]

At least I wasn't.

[George Severus]

Would you ever support female filmmakers? Sorry, I'm foreign. Would you ever support female filmmakers?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No. We're rivals. Of course.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Only. How about Charlie xcx?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Absolutely. My rival. This is how I feel about, like, Ariana Grande being cast in Wicked. I was like, that should have been me. I really am like, we're like. It was me or her on that one.

[George Severus]

Damn. You're sort of not a girl's girl.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, that's actually so ahead. I don't even want to joke about that. It's not funny.

[George Severus]

Because you are.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Because you're not a huge girl.

[George Severus]

You are a girl.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I really ride for the girls so much and that. Yeah.

[George Severus]

And when you say girls, do you mean gay guys mostly?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Of course not women, obviously. I ride for girls who are guys. No, no, no. I care. I really. My whole project is that I, like, I care about women so much.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And that's, like, obviously not cool. And it's not financially sound. You're only going to lose that way, obviously. I've lost the room. I said I liked women. I've completely lost the room.

[Sam Taggart]

Sorry. We were like, when do gay guys come back?

[George Severus]

Yeah, we gave you an in.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, can I say that? Like, the way, like, Sapphics run Twitter now, Like a Sapphic fan cam can do more for your career than going on Jimmy Fallon.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, a lot can do more for your career than going on Jimmy Fallon.

[George Severus]

That's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I just want to, like. I want to hold him by the shoulders.

[George Severus]

Wait, Sam, what were you going to say?

[Sam Taggart]

No, no, I think you're right. I think I find that Twitter is obviously beyond dead. And yet whenever there's something happening on it, I'm like, no, this is real. This is real and this matters. And it's like a very skewed view of the world, and yet I see it.

[George Severus]

I have to say something about Twitter, they have figured out some sort of algorithm. They meaning, you know, Elon Musk, I guess.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sure.

[George Severus]

I no longer go on it during the day, but what I do is once a day, in the evening, usually before bed, I go on desktop and I scroll for approximately 10 minutes. And what happens is the algorithm naturally gives me the top gay guy jokes of the day and I'm in heaven. It no longer is a negative space for me. Like, if you just. You don't go during the day, you don't go. Like, you don't like political stuff. You just go once. It's like Gwyneth Paltrow having one cigarette at the end of the day, and somehow it's good for her rather than bad. If you just go once on desktop at the end of the day, I'm seeing the funniest shit you cannot believe. Do you not find that, Sam, I.

[Sam Taggart]

I don't find that. But I. I wish I had your feed. I guess I get, like.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I would do anything.

[Sam Taggart]

I get the most crazy sort of rancid stuff. Yeah.

[George Severus]

See, I went through that phase, and then in. In my feed, at least. And maybe this is because I'm, like, liking very strategically or something. In my feed, all that stuff is gone, and it's now, like, laughs, laughs, laughs.

[Sam Taggart]

That's nice. I feel like I'm visiting a small town when I go on it. Like, you're like, yes. Why are they verified? Why is this the ad I'm seeing? Like, it feels very local news.

[George Severus]

Yes. It's like a really niche subreddit. And you're like, I guess this is what you guys are doing here.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, it's interesting. Sorry, we're off topic. Tessa. Hi.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hi. I'm so sh.

[Sam Taggart]

I can't help but feel there's still tension between us and I really.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Which kind of. And.

[George Severus]

She'S bi, by the way. By the way, that's your solo show.

[Sam Taggart]

Merch. Merch. Merch. Print that.

[George Severus]

Print it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Merch.

[Sam Taggart]

Do you want to tell us your straight topic and what is straight about it?

[George Severus]

And potentially even. First list the ones you had as a short list.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[George Severus]

And then we'll go into the one you chose.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. So one of them is doing stuff. Do I have to explain or I just.

[George Severus]

And spoiler alert, that will be the one we end up doing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay.

[George Severus]

So let's put a pin in that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

There's also prank culture.

[George Severus]

Obvious.

[Ryan Seacrest]

A classic. And then being fundamentally unknown.

[George Severus]

Which I think circles back to doing stuff.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Absolutely.

[George Severus]

Now, I really want to hear your theory of why doing stuff is straight, because I actually think it's like a sort of overarching theme of many topics we've done on the podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, cool. So basically, I think that like. Like talking, having sex, that's for gay people. Straight people, they obviously kind of don't have anything in common or don't really know each other, so they need their interaction to be, like, mediated by an activity. So that's why it's like, you need to do stuff. You're going to be watching the TV show together. You're going to be going bowling together. Board games. You might be pranking that girl. You might be pranking that girl. So that's what I think.

[George Severus]

Happy hour.

[Sam Taggart]

I think. I think doing stuff is a really genius topic. I. It makes me think immediately of. Of sort of my straight cowork. And when you recount, like, oh, what did you do this Weekend. They're always like, oh, I went on a hike, I gardened, I went to the Blank. I did this, I went to the flea market. And then I'm always like, oh, I can't share, I don't have anything. I did. What I did was I went to the Eagle and then I stayed home all day the next day.

[George Severus]

Yeah, you're like. My weekend was more of a vibe. It wasn't like a series of structured events. Sorry.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, totally.

[George Severus]

I wasn't doing a beat by beat outline of the film. Film. I was living my life.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, you're not doing like a syllabus, like a college orientation activities. You're living in the moment. God forbid.

[Sam Taggart]

God forbid. I do get jealous of it sometimes because it seems like a very like. I don't know, you like, do get to experience things. Like people. Straight people are allowed to have hobbies because they're doing stuff, whereas gay people. It's like the only hobby you're allowed to have is like reading the article and listening to the song.

[George Severus]

Reading the article and listening to the song.

[Sam Taggart]

Did the article. Well, did you listen to the song?

[George Severus]

That's literally every gay guy all day long. Did you read an article? Did you listen to the song? And every lesbian.

[Sam Taggart]

That's true.

[George Severus]

So I'm. I also have had a similar circular path in terms of my relationship to doing stuff, which first I'm like, that's pathetic. Doing stuff is pathetic?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[George Severus]

You're pathetic.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[George Severus]

Then you start experimenting with doing stuff. You take a trip that has a few more activities. You, you do play apples to apples. You do go on a hike and you realize that actually, if you do it right, it actually opens up possibilities.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, no.

[George Severus]

And you're like, wait a second, Is this what they've been hiding from us this whole time?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think I'm gonna like it here, right?

[Sam Taggart]

Me thinks doing stuff is going to be my new thing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think I like this little.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, well this to me. Sorry. You go, you go, you go, you go. No, no, I'm being stupid. I want you go.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Don't talk about my friend. I think that like hobbies though, I. I don't want to have a safety net because I sometimes am hustle grind set, where I'm like, no, it's cheating.

[George Severus]

Hobbies are cheating.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, you can't get fulfillment for anything else. In order to be successful, you have to be in pain constantly. And so, yeah, you can't have any moments of peace or happiness.

[George Severus]

You know what this reminds me of? It's like in Comedy. I'm like, if you reference a proper noun, that's cheating. If you're doing. If you're doing a bit and it's about Ariana Grande, yeah, that's cheating because you're looking for a shortcut, a reference. Everyone understands your bitch should be about the concept of existence. And if you can't pull that off, get the fuck off the stage.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I completely agree. The passage of time.

[George Severus]

Yes, it should be about the passage of time. It should be about the nature of existence. It should be about living in a body and how awkward that is.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, I think this, of course, this is. Gave her straight, but of course we're gonna have to say it. It's LA versus New York, LA is all about stuff. What is your activity? And New York is not about doing stuff at all. Unless it's going to the Met.

[George Severus]

Here's what it is. New York is about spending money to not do stuff somehow. And LA is about not spending money to do stuff. And so hiking.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God, you're so right.

[George Severus]

Coming, like, coming over to the house for a game night. LA is all about somehow, like, constantly planning activities but not paying for them. And in New York, it's like, Well, I spent $100,000 tonight and what did I do? A drink, Completely.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You leave the house, you're going to spend $40.

[Sam Taggart]

I had this talk about the LA is infecting me. I was like, I should sign up for surfing lessons. I should sign up.

[George Severus]

Wait, you should. That would be.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God. But being the server is randomly cool.

[George Severus]

Sam, you should absolutely do that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Did you have the thing where it's like our greatest minds go to LA and then they. They become Marvel? Yeah, yeah. Where it's like, you. You.

[George Severus]

This is like, actually dangerous territory.

[Sam Taggart]

No, please. I think we. I think this is dangerous in the way that we should go.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right. Do one thing that scares you every day.

[George Severus]

And actually, I'm noticing a lot. I've seen this happen a few times over the last seven years. Someone goes there, becomes 90% Marvel, and then, like, wakes up in a sort of matrix, like, trance and is like, I have to move back to New York. Otherwise, like, I can see my, like, body.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Changing. Yeah. I think. I think I'm definitely at risk of going more marvel.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, when they go low, we go marvel.

[Sam Taggart]

I just feel like everyone is so polite and normal here that you do just like, everyone starts to look at you with an ugly face when you are not that. And so it softens everything.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, but every time I see somebody with their abs. I'm like, okay, for each ab, you could have written a spec script. Right?

[George Severus]

You inspect script.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I'm literally just like. For each app, I'm like, oh, interesting.

[Sam Taggart]

Honey, drop the script.

[George Severus]

So you are. Yeah, literally publish the scripts. We'll put them on Patreon. But. So your thing is that, like. Because this is an interesting point of view, you think people need to be more hustle culture.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. No, this is actually toxic. It's not even. Like, you should just, like, like, love your friends and community.

[George Severus]

You're like, why are you not working? Go to the office.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, that is true. Specifically, go to the factory. Pee in the bottle. That's what I'm asking.

[Sam Taggart]

Specifically for. Comedy.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm like, so you could write on Big Mouth Season 400, which is by.

[George Severus]

The run by Charlie X. Yes. I just read that on Deadline.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I think you're right. I think. But that is. I think people in New York don't want to have balance. They want to. And people in LA are like, well, six hours of my day for mindfulness and then I do one hour of writing.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But I actually think that, like, that probably gets more done. Like, it's not true that you have to be like, suffering every waking moment in order to be productive. That's not true.

[George Severus]

No. And this is sort of like the dark truth about New York vs. LA is that despite the fact that New Yorkers are always, like, rushing, people in LA are actually sort of doing more. They do stuff.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, they're doing stuff.

[Sam Taggart]

They're doing stuff.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's true.

[Sam Taggart]

They're doing stuff.

[George Severus]

No, everyone. It's like, you see someone in New York and she looks so into her and you're like, wow, she's probably like a governor and she's going to a sample sale.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, you're literally going to. Women be shopping right before my eyes.

[George Severus]

So I'm doing Women be shopping.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You did Women v. Shopping.

[Sam Taggart]

If you were to do stuff, what stuff would it be?

[George Severus]

Yeah. If you had to.

[Sam Taggart]

If you. If there was a gun to your head and they said do stuff.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is where I actually worry that I have, like, no interiority or, like, point of view.

[Sam Taggart]

That's where it gets scary.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, some. A lot of people recently, on different occasions, have said, I can't imagine you listening to music, which is basically be like, you have no inner life.

[George Severus]

That's so interesting.

[Sam Taggart]

Several people, they dare accuse you of not listening to the song.

[George Severus]

Huh? The dare accuses you of not listening to a song.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You've Never heard my music.

[George Severus]

So people. I mean, I will say you do talk a lot about spec scripts, accomplishing things.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Right. But it's because I have it.

[George Severus]

But I think you're also, you're someone that like, always knows the industry tea in a way that stresses me out, to be honest.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I like, I am so toxic. But it's not even like. It's also, I know about Brooklyn comedy. Like, my special interest is like the alt scene in Brooklyn. Like, when I was in college, I would take the Metro north to come, like, go to the Bell house and like, see you guys, literally. So I like, I pay. I. I'm like, I pay. I'm paying.

[George Severus]

Your paid to do this podcast?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Absolutely.

[George Severus]

You're the first guest to actually pay. This is a make a wish. We were looking for students, New York state area.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm getting college credit by joining the podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

No, this is the Second city thing all over again. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But I wish that, like, my industry knowledge was like, actually not even niche. It's like so small. It's like for a four block rating.

[George Severus]

Your industry knowledge is like someone who is 23 had a general meeting with True TV.

[Sam Taggart]

Which they're rebooting.

[George Severus]

Which they're rebooting, by the way.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I'm like, I always know who's going to do a man on the street. Tik Tok style show.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Okay.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Which is all of us eventually.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Here's no.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You die.

[George Severus]

Charlie. Charlie answers my emails.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No. Every day. Are you guys getting these emails from media companies called, like, Bloopa that are like, what if you cleaned a boy's room as a tick tock?

[Sam Taggart]

I.

[George Severus]

It was like Rachel Costner catching straight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

First of all, Rachi. Rachi's a dear friend.

[Sam Taggart]

This is a pro Pro Rachel podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I pitting women against each other.

[Sam Taggart]

Just because we're pro racial doesn't mean we're anti Tessa.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Or does.

[Sam Taggart]

I know. I find the TikTok shows, it was so charming at the beginning and now I'm like, they're getting like emptier and emptier and emptier and I'm like, okay, enough. Like, we need to go have some substance again.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I agree.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I think long form is back.

[George Severus]

Yeah. It's called substack and you better get on it, honey. Your next spec script, it's going to be on subsector. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, do you have a substack this whole time?

[George Severus]

I do not have one, but I have been threatening to make one for quite literally six years.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It does Feel like I'm like, that's a threat. Like, you have a gun when you're saying, I have a substack.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, but George, you're also one of those people that I feel like you don't need a substack. You. You carry the substack energy where people just. You walk through the room, people assume, yes, thank you.

[George Severus]

I'm going to actually accept that.

[Sam Taggart]

That's good. That's really, really good.

[George Severus]

But don't you think that's even more reason for me to start a substack? Because it's like I'm leaving money on the table, people already. It's like I'm already doing the work of having a substack, which is kind of like acting like I'm better than everyone.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally. No, this is how.

[George Severus]

So why not put pen to paper?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I think it's like the vibe is enough. Like, I'm kind of wondering if I should just be taking pictures of myself with podcast mics and not even have a podcast. I just am posting as if I'm.

[George Severus]

Talking another day in the office literally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Being like, episode five. There's no podcast, actually.

[George Severus]

Okay, here's an idea. How much time would it take for someone to figure out your scam if all you did was rent a studio like this, get a bunch of outfits, and shoot 27 one minute clips of you saying things as though it's a clip from a podcast? You know what I mean? I guarantee you do that in one afternoon.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, no, that would be successful. I don't know if you. There was a whole thing where that was like an advertising strategy where they were literally doing that, where they would fake podcast podcasts and have like normal cool hosts. Be like, actually like Crest White strips, I find to be kind of cool.

[George Severus]

Well, they did that with stand up too. Stand up clips.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes, yes. Fake stand up clips. It's really dark.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Cultural recession.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I'll say. One time, George and I actually pretended to record a podcast for ads. Yeah, we did do that, but it was. We were being ourselves. We weren't like promoting anything except the idea of podcasts. But.

[George Severus]

And honestly, we like, kind of.

[Sam Taggart]

And we did an amazing job.

[George Severus]

And actually when those ads.

[Sam Taggart]

The guy who was running that I am now friends with in Los Angeles.

[George Severus]

Yes. Super cool Australian gig.

[Ryan Seacrest]

He should come to your boy.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, he's. He's. He's in Australia right now.

[George Severus]

Oh, my God. There we go. Here, here. Okay, here's actually an example. Sorry to be so self indulgent, but here's an example. Of Sam and me, like, leaving money on the table. We did those ads. Yeah, they were for Apple podcasts.

[Sam Taggart]

Podcasts.

[George Severus]

We never posted them or, or, or mentioned that we did them to anyone because we were embarrassed that we did an ad.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Are you serious?

[George Severus]

Can you believe that?

[Sam Taggart]

I believe that. That's very us. We're bad at our jobs.

[George Severus]

It's like, are we so stupid? Wait, this was two years ago.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Did you get money for it?

[George Severus]

I don't remember the details, but it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Was like you just did it for the love of the game. No money.

[Sam Taggart]

I think it was like. It was like a.

[George Severus]

They were featuring their.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, it was promotion. It was promotion.

[George Severus]

Yeah, it was promotion. Well, I guess it wasn't since we didn't post it, so by definition it wasn't.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, you. You guys need to be less. Like, you need to be more shameless.

[George Severus]

No, I'm ready. I'm ready to be shameless now. And I fear it's too late. I've resisted it my entire life. I've always really, like, almost fetishized the idea of integrity. And so have you.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I have. And it's disgusting and it's. And where has it left me? Yeah.

[George Severus]

On this flat screen tv.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm just a girl on screen.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's interesting, though, because you're like. You're fetishizing integrity. But is it like, for. You said it's not even necessarily for political causes. Like, what cause is it for?

[George Severus]

No, it's like we still believe in the concept of. To some extent. And I really. I realize we are currently recording, like, a comedy. You know, I realize that, like, we're not, you know, we're not saving lives here, but I think there's still. We're still old enough that we slightly believe in the concept of settling out. We still believe in, like, things being in poor taste or cringe or something.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, okay, I was talking about this with Joe Castle Baker. Shout out, shout out, shout out. And because everyone loves to talk about Cringe Mountain, where it's like, in order to be successful, you need to get on the other side of Cringe Mountain. And Joe was like, well, there's actually more to it than that. Which is true. You can't just be cringe, you also have to be good. Yeah, that is always getting left out of the conversation.

[George Severus]

This is actually. This is similar to how people are. Like, Toni Morrison didn't publish her first novel until she was 42. It's like. Right. But she actually was smart and talented before that, and she worked throughout that time. To accomplish it. It's not like you're gonna turn 42 and write a novel. You're not gonna write Beloved.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm literally gonna turn 42 and write a novel. Wait, have I told you guys this? I keep having this thought where I'm, like, the moment 40. I'm gonna be a musician. Like, do I play any instruments? No, but I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be a musician when I turn 40, and I just know it's.

[George Severus]

Gonna do a reverse Charlie.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm gonna do a reverse Charlie. I'm gonna be in charge of the music industry. I'm gonna be the kingmaker.

[George Severus]

You're gonna be the Jack Antonoff of music.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You don't need to play instruments. You just need an iPad.

[Sam Taggart]

You literally. And don't get me wrong, I can't play the iPad either. I mean, the moment I'm opening a program, I'm saying, ah. But, you know, the taste is just there. And there's no denying that when I am 40, I will be a musical musician.

[George Severus]

God. When Macy was DJing at your wedding, I was like, I'm gonna take DJ classes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God. No cry for help.

[George Severus]

I had a friend who did that. And honestly, she's.

[Sam Taggart]

And you may know her, her name is RuPaul.

[George Severus]

Her name is RuPaul.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, she was just a scrappy little nobody until she took those DJ classes.

[George Severus]

Oh, my God. Scrappy little nobody. Anna Kendrick mentioned.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, do we have more to say about doing stuff? I feel like we, like, sort of left. Left it so quickly. Quickly.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, well, I just think it's like, it just. Okay. I had my first boyfriend.

[Sam Taggart]

When I shout out Joe Kessel Baker. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You guys may know I'm always, like, living with a guy, and I, like, can't afford it, but I'm like an artist in residence at his house, like, sponsoring me and my work. And I was. I was there working, working on my projects and his. You're many spec scripts I have, like, never written.

[Sam Taggart]

I simply can't believe that based on how many times referenced it.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, I actually don't know what it is. That's why it keeps.

[Sam Taggart]

Drop the Broad City. Broad City spec script. Now I want to know what Alana gets up to through your eyes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, no, I think I told you this, but I wrote. Okay, the only thing I wrote, I wrote a pilot about, like, this girl Bella, who was, like, suicidal. And my manager read it, she goes, why is Tessa. I mean, Bella suicidal? She's like, why does Tessa want to kill Herself. I mean, the character. And I'm like, nice save, right? The character, not me. Okay. I was living in his house.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And his roommate, like, didn't know how to talk to me. And so the only thing he knew is that we had both seen Mad Men. And so genuinely, every time I'd enter the room, he'd be like, mad Men. Like, Tessa. Like, Mad Men. And it's like, yeah. Like, that was the only way two people could talk or connect was like, through that point.

[George Severus]

I see, I see, I see. Like, so that's an extension of doing stuff, is watching.

[Sam Taggart]

Having. Having a frame of reference.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Which is interesting. And it's like, not. Not even. Like, I was like, I've seen that, like, three episodes. Like, I'm not like, the president of the Mad Men fan.

[George Severus]

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. What you were wanting was his roommate to come in the door and say, wait, is everything okay? You seem tense. No, no. Really?

[George Severus]

Hey. Yeah. Why? Is Bella suicidal?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Put your hand on my chest. Feel how I breathe.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean. Yeah, that sounds awesome.

[George Severus]

This reminds me of. Okay, get ready for me to quote an SNL sketch.

[Sam Taggart]

Here we go, mama.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, not.

[George Severus]

Not Fred Armisen as. What's the French woman? French pretentious woman. It's like Justine or Brigitte or something. Do you know what I'm talking about? Imagine Fred Armisen in a black bob wig.

[Sam Taggart]

Sure, I'm seeing it.

[George Severus]

Regine. Regine.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay.

[George Severus]

Okay. So it's the character of Regine, and the whole thing is that she is someone's new boyfriend, and they're all in, like, a sort of middle class bourgeois house. But. But Regine is too sophisticated, and she's like, let's talk about outsider art. But everyone else, like, wants to play a board game that is like, the gay. The gay person at, like, the. At the straight convention of people talking about Mad Men, they're like, did you guys read the article?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Did you listen to the song?

[George Severus]

Did you listen to the song? Did you read the article?

[Sam Taggart]

Can. Can we talk about. Okay. I have something to talk about when it comes to the song.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Do you have this thing where when the song comes out, you're so excited and you're waiting for the album to come out, and you're like, when this album comes out, I'm gonna be so happy because I'll get to listen to not just one song. I get to listen to upwards of 10 songs, and then the album comes out and you find listening to the album to be a chore, even though you like it and you like all the songs. And then you're like, there's a deep sadness when the album actually comes out because you are now not looking forward to any. Anything.

[George Severus]

You know what it is. Suddenly you're doing stuff.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God.

[George Severus]

The single. The vibe of the single is much more about, like. Yes, you do the homework of listening to one song that's two and a half minutes long, but it's not really about that. It's about, like, the day has this flavor of newness and of innovation and of anticipation that is very gay. Sitting down and having to listen to an album is straight in that you are doing homework completely.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I also think. I think that. That, like, I like already knowing the song. What's fun about a song is that you already know it.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And so when. And when there's one song that's easier to do, I can get it pretty quick. A full album. I'm like, I don't know you.

[Sam Taggart]

You're essentially doing duolingo when the album comes out.

[George Severus]

You're doing. You're doing duolingo when the Dua Lipa album comes out.

[Sam Taggart]

And you're saying. You're saying, how fast can I listen to this 10 times so that it feels like I've known it my whole. Whole life.

[George Severus]

Yes, exactly.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Because here's the thing. You actually can't know an album until a year later.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Maybe. Maybe three months. I can do it in three months.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, you're a musician. You're a professional, so you can do it in three months. For me, it takes a full year.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I don't listen to music.

[Sam Taggart]

And you don't listen to music because.

[George Severus]

You have no interiority. Of course, you're too busy writing those lyrics.

[Sam Taggart]

Distract you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

PR nightmare going on. This isn't a PR nightmare for me, it's like a career Enter. It makes me seem so psychic. Well, it was something about. So.

[Sam Taggart]

No, go, go, go.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I didn't. Oh, can I say about doing stuff, too? My thing about straight culture is, like, okay. I think we're constantly doing stuff together, and you can actually spend so much time in a straight relationship, and you guys don't know each other that well.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, well. Yeah.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And this is why breakups, I actually think, are. It's. It's helpful because when you break up, it's not personal, because it's like, you don't know me. You don't know me. That wasn't Tessa.

[Sam Taggart]

This is literally the plot of the Materialists.

[George Severus]

That's true. You should actually watch Materialist.

[Sam Taggart]

I actually write a spec script about Materialist. That's a great idea. Please write materialist 2 and put it up at the bellhouse. I will be there.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Write a Materialist spec script in the form of a multicam sitcom. I dare you. And all three of them are played by Charlie Anthony.

[Sam Taggart]

It's Charlie, Troy and Benny Drama.

[George Severus]

No, the un. The unknowability is. God, it is so fundamental to the entire project of straight relationships.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

And in fact, like, when you do break the mold and start getting to know someone that is stigmatized, it's like, that's when a guy's like, she's crazy, bro. And that is when a woman is like, he's angry.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[George Severus]

Because you actually made the mistake of actually, like, breaking through a literal first layer.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's. And I think there's, like, one. I'm often performing more like the way I am. It's kind of Hannah Montana double life. Friends versus who you are with boy. And then. So I think one problem is, like, you're being a different kind of girl when Carrie's talking to Big.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But then there's the other issue of, like, boys are also so bad at understanding women or interpreting their emotions.

[George Severus]

Okay. So. Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

So both things are happening. And that's why there's like, language barrier. Like, does that make sense?

[George Severus]

So you are saying the barrier is on the one side, boys are clueless.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Totally.

[George Severus]

On the other side, girls are faking it. Yes. Girls are liars and boys are clueless.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Is that a good. Is that a good table?

[Sam Taggart]

Makes sense to me.

[George Severus]

Yeah. And that is why they can never connect.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Kind of. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Because girls. And it's also connect because they'll lie to each other and be like, you're lying. And they can, like, know that. And. But a boy is like, that's the truth.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's so true. I do. It's true. Girls can be like, okay, so what really will be like. Sounds true to me. And then keep walking.

[George Severus]

And this is actually what's so beautiful about female friendships and male friend. Female friendships. All the girls are lying. But then all the girls are like, okay, like, but for real.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Then male friendships. All the guys are just like. They just go around grunting and they're like, having the time of their life.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's fantastic.

[Sam Taggart]

It's non verbal, but it's true.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

O.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, like, okay, so when I was having, like, the worst time.

[George Severus]

Wait, she's sweet, but she's psycho. He's non verbal, but it's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Couple of goals.

[George Severus]

That's literally male and female.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know. I hate today. We did, like, boys be like. And girls be like. And we also were like, New York be like, la look.

[George Severus]

Well, that's kind of the entire premise of this podcast.

[Ryan Seacrest]

The only thing I care about. But okay. I was having the worst period of my life.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I remember my friend went up to the guy I was dating at the time, and. And she was like, I just check on Tessa. Like, I'm worried about her. And he was like, I don't know what you're talking about. She's doing amazing. And four days later, I went to psych ward. It's just crazy. Like, his finger could not have been less on the pulse. Like, he meant it. He was like, she's amazing.

[George Severus]

No, it's expensive. No. Men will look at a woman. And she's literally.

[Sam Taggart]

She's saying, take me to the psych ward. And he's like, did you mean take you to see the materialists? Let's go.

[George Severus]

He's like, I'm an AMC Stubs member. This is perfect. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

No, we have seen this in our lives very recently in a. In a. To an insane degree.

[George Severus]

I can't.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's so. It's so interesting. Well, I also think there's an interesting dynamic of. Because we know age gap relationships, wealth gap relationships, hot gap relationships, and actually.

[George Severus]

One I learned recently woke cap relations.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's love that.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

There's also mental health gap relationships.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Which is like, I'm a crazy woman. And it's so hard when you're dating, like, a guy who's normal. Because I'm mad both ways. Either you're, like, othering me and I'm like, what the. Or you're accepting me and I'm like, oh, so you want a little patient, you want a little sick. You want a little sick girl that you, like, control. And also, anytime they try to help you, it's, like, so condescending. When they're like, seems like you might want to go on a little walk. Yeah. I'm like, I'm a dog and you're taking me on a walk. Does that make sense?

[Sam Taggart]

No, that makes sense.

[George Severus]

That makes complete sense.

[Sam Taggart]

That sounds really complicated.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. And by the way, of course I'm sorry for everything I've said so far and will continue to.

[Sam Taggart]

No, never apologize.

[George Severus]

That is the. That is the subtext of every statement any of us have ever made.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Can I ask a question for you? Do you guys feel Known by your spouses.

[George Severus]

Sam, you just got married. You go first.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm feeling so deeply known at this stage, my life. In some ways, I. There's a. Just to have anything to talk about. I feel that I'm almost jealous sometimes of the distance that straight couples have where I'm like, so when you guys have sex, it's like having sex with a new person, like, because you're like, who is this stranger?

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, literally not.

[George Severus]

I completely agree. I would say the intimacy is sometimes crippling.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Like, I, I'm. I. I sometimes have moments where I'm like, oh, no. Have we peeled back all the layers, players? And there is no mystery. And then thankfully, you know, you grow. You get crazy in different ways.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

You find a new.

[Sam Taggart]

You listen to the song, he listens to the article.

[George Severus]

Song, he listens to the article.

[Sam Taggart]

You have to unpack both.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You read the song.

[George Severus]

But, yeah, I would. And I do think, actually that is. That is a stereotype that exists with gay people. It's like they are too in touch with their feelings. They're too always doing couples therapy. Always doing, like, therapy speak with one another.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

And there is something liberating about just simply not knowing who your partner is.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Completely.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Enough communication. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, this is. Okay. I'm like. I'm like, should I say real ideas or should I go back to being like a bimbo with huge boobs?

[Sam Taggart]

Hit us with the real idea and.

[George Severus]

Hit us with the real idea.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. Communication is always thought of as being inherently, like, virtuous.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And I'm like, well, again, it should be good communication. Like, just communicating itself isn't good. Like therapy buzzwords is like, you communicated. So I deserve a Pulitzer Prize. And it's like, well, many people communicate badly and over communicate. And so it's like, you don't deserve a parade because you said stuff.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Does that make sense?

[Sam Taggart]

That makes complete sense. No, I do think there's. There is a. An epidemic of over communication currently, and it needs to be stopped.

[George Severus]

You know what this reminds me of is someone taking something. Communication, which is basically morally neutral, and making it a good. It reminds of me, me of the era when I lived in San Francisco and it was like in the middle of the tech boom, it was all about, quote, unquote, changing the world.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Now, changing the world is a completely neutral statement. You can change it for the better or you can change it for the worse. Dropping a bomb is changing the world.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yes.

[George Severus]

So. And you start to feel insane because you are like. You start hearing These people are like, well, above all, we want to change the world. And you're like, how?

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's so true.

[George Severus]

How.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, it's an amazing. That's a fire take. I'm fire reacting.

[George Severus]

That take.

[Sam Taggart]

100 agree. 100% agree.

[George Severus]

100% agree.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay, I. Okay, we. Okay. George and I sometimes play this, Sam. When you're not there, but we're first thinking about you and pouring.

[Sam Taggart]

I can't believe you guys just hang out. Like, as far as I know, you guys have. You're meeting for the second time today.

[George Severus]

I want you to know, every time I'm with someone else, I feel guilty.

[Sam Taggart]

This is so messed up. You have moved on when it's dark.

[George Severus]

Okay, what do we do when we hang out?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, okay. So when we're talking about monoculture, one of the first times we hung out was like, we're playing the game of, like, what is monoculture now? And I used to think Subway Takes is monoculture. I'm always bringing it up on stage, and no one knows what I'm talking about. But I thought being like, 100% agree.

[Sam Taggart]

No one knows.

[George Severus]

That's fascinating. Especially in New York. No one knows.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm like, unrelated. Maybe the joke is bad.

[Sam Taggart]

No, that's not it.

[George Severus]

No, that's actually. That's enough of a reference that, like, people will chuckle just to be like, I recognize what.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What you're saying, but it's interesting. What is monoculture? Because I really think right now the only thing that's monoculture is Domingo on snl.

[George Severus]

Because that Shout Out Suda Green. I don't. Do you think Hot Ones is monoculture just to go into, like, more interview stuff?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I do think that.

[George Severus]

I think of all of them, that's the most monoculture.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What about Chicken Shop?

[Sam Taggart]

No, that's niche.

[George Severus]

It's not. It's niche because.

[Sam Taggart]

Because British.

[George Severus]

And also because it's more for. It's more for girls.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God. Well, that's the whole thing of Brooklyn comedy. Just means you're a woman.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

And do you have any contributions to monoculture, Sam?

[George Severus]

Yeah. Like, what is. For now?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

I think Joe Rogan is monoculture. I also think, like, Netflix in general is monoculture.

[George Severus]

Yes, Netflix, That's. That's. Netflix is like.

[Sam Taggart]

That's monoculture in the classic way. It's like network shows where you're like, this. Like, this is horrible. And yet 4 billion people watched this.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's true. That's actually vintage. Because it's like, this is a bad show that we all know about everyone.

[George Severus]

Everyone knows Two and a Half Men. That's just. Yeah, everyone knows Two and a Half Men.

[Ryan Seacrest]

There's also like the cult. Like this is old. Like the riddle where the doctor is a woman is monoculture.

[Sam Taggart]

That's true.

[Ryan Seacrest]

All of us know about.

[Sam Taggart]

That's true. That's the only monoculture we have. Wow.

[George Severus]

Well, it's also like that is oral storytelling.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[George Severus]

It's actually like not only monoculture, but old fashioned. It harkens back to like a pre.

[Sam Taggart]

Literate age since we're doing gendered monoculture. Call her Daddy Monoculture or no.

[George Severus]

You know, that's a tough one. I do think. Okay. Is it for girls?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. Is it for girls? Parentheses, derogatory.

[George Severus]

No, I don't even.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Parentheses, slurp. Is it for girls?

[Sam Taggart]

That's tough.

[George Severus]

You know what, though? I actually think that it's for the fact that it appeals to straight women means that is monoculture because their boyfriends also know about it.

[Sam Taggart]

So it's like Sex in the City.

[George Severus]

But Sex and City also appeals to gay people.

[Sam Taggart]

That's true. Call her Daddy does not appeal to gay people.

[George Severus]

Call her Daddy does not appeal to gay people. Call her Daddy is more like Call.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Her Daddy is straight culture to me.

[George Severus]

Yes, 100%, totally.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I actually don't like straight culture is hard for me because I really don't have any straight friends and I almost have no friends that aren't even trans.

[George Severus]

Well, sorry.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I was just saying everyone is so gay.

[George Severus]

Totally, totally, totally.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You guys are mad at me. I think being friends with me does mean you might take hormones one day.

[George Severus]

No, for sure.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Predictor.

[George Severus]

Yeah, well, you're, you're. You know what the right wing is sort of warning against. You're like, you're like a teacher that seems, that seems harmless, but you're literally making all your students trance.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, absolutely. And I'm also making them all mentally ill. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos. But now the old gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the Old Gays. Brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veeve Healthcare. With over 300 years of experience between them, hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to love, sex, community and whatever else they've got on the game agenda. Listen to these fabulous friends swap stories exploring how queer life has evolved over the decades and the silver linings they've collected along the way. Each episode dives into Hot topics from safe sex and online dating to untangling Gen Z lingo, as well as insights on how music, art and fashion show up in queer culture. So check out Silver Linings, a show about how pride ages like fine wine. Available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I feel like there's a lot of people who, it's like if they bump into me at a party and they have no better options, they will talk to me. I'm an amazing, like, lighthouse in a store.

[George Severus]

Well, you're good at. You're good at. I don't want to say small talk because it's not small. You're good at making conversation.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Thank you so much.

[George Severus]

And that is rare. You know who else is good at making conversation? Macy Rodman. I was just telling this to Sam. Like, it's like you run into her, you know, you're not. It's not going to be this awkward, like pulling teeth.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

But yeah, I think that's on the other person too, though, sometimes. I'm like, because you'll be talking to me. I'm like, why is this going so poorly? And it's because you realize they ask no follow up questions. You say, how was your day? And they say, it was good.

[Sam Taggart]

I have this guy who lives in LA who I'm sort of obsessed with because he's actually the worst person I've ever talked to in my life. And I see him with relative frequency and I like, he's such a horrible conversation person that I. I'm starting to see him as like a performance artist. Like, you'll literally be like, oh, this happened to me today. Like something kind of momentous. Like say, oh, I got in a car crash today. And I'll just go, okay. And it's like. And then he stands next to you and adds nothing. And you're like, how did you get strong enough mentally to not need to respond to me? Like, it's actually so groundbreaking and I want to learn from you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, right. Because I feel like I have to dance like a monkey. Yeah, you could just like sit in it.

[Sam Taggart]

Sit in it. He sits in it big time.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I recently had a devastating conversation like that. And I was talking to the girl goes, I don't know what you're saying directly. She said, I don't watch vertical content.

[Sam Taggart]

Got your ass.

[George Severus]

What were you talking about? Subway Takes. You're going around. You're literally going around town begging people to talk to you about Subway Takes every day.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They wrote this. They wrote this amazing Story about.

[Sam Taggart]

Subway takes.

[George Severus]

Spectrum for Subway Takes. You're addicted to writing spec scripts and you need to stop. It's like Kareem, but he's living with Monica. And Chandler takes brat.

[Ryan Seacrest]

100% agree.

[George Severus]

Subway takes brat. 100% agree.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, she was like, basically, I think the way I talk. I hate when people act like what I'm saying is unclear.

[George Severus]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Like one time I was trying to compliment this girl. I said, you were, you were Crushiana Grande. And she said, are you being mean? And I'm like, you know what I said?

[George Severus]

You said Crushiana Grande. This is like me trying to make fabulosa Fury Road happen and no one catching up.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Everyone was mad at me too.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn.

[George Severus]

We were born in the wrong decade. And guess what? The right decade. The aughts when it was really cool to do wordplay like that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I know.

[George Severus]

Because the odds was all about Rachel Zo being like, I die. That's my entire sense of humor.

[Sam Taggart]

I think it'll come back. I think you guys are ahead of the curve, Honestly.

[George Severus]

Thank you.

[Sam Taggart]

That means the world not to do. We need. Should we do our final segment?

[George Severus]

I know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't want it to end. I like you guys and I'm like, we need to like you and me, we need find a bipartisan solution. I need to reach across the aisle.

[Sam Taggart]

No, we need to find. I'm going to follow you on Instagram as soon as this conversation is over.

[George Severus]

Oh, my God. I.

[Sam Taggart]

This. It's so complicated because it's like.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm scared. I'm like, I don't know where the bit starts or ends.

[George Severus]

No, he's being dead serious.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm being dead serious. I, I, I don't think about, about that, you know?

[George Severus]

I know. I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, but you're right. It would if I would. I would want to be followed as well.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, by the way, I didn't even check. I just said that to be funny.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, great.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I don't even know if you can I check.

[George Severus]

Wait.

[Sam Taggart]

That is an insane. That is crazy.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I did that as a hilarious bit. Wait, I, I feel that way too. Because Instagram is a scary place for me.

[Sam Taggart]

I follow you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

To do fake news.

[George Severus]

I cannot believe.

[Sam Taggart]

That is so messed up.

[George Severus]

You're being such a classic girl and that you're lying and I'm being such.

[Sam Taggart]

A classic boy and accept it as truth.

[George Severus]

Exactly. This dynamic is toxic and we need to call or not.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is so bad for the women's movement.

[George Severus]

This is your. Actually, you Have I did a false accusation?

[Sam Taggart]

This.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I did a false accusation.

[Sam Taggart]

I can't believe you did a false accusation on Stadio Lab. This is so wild.

[George Severus]

I've never. This is setting us back decades.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I can see it on your faces. I'm really sorry.

[George Severus]

No, I'm really disappointed.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're not calling me out. You're calling me out.

[Sam Taggart]

You dragged.

[George Severus]

No, we're calling you out.

[Ryan Seacrest]

You're not calling me out. You're going to go ahead and call me out.

[George Severus]

No, we're calling you out.

[Sam Taggart]

I can't believe you dragged beloved podcast or me through the mud and my reputation just for a laugh.

[George Severus]

There are people that probably, you know, didn't listen to the whole episode. They still think Sam was silencing a woman.

[Sam Taggart]

You know, they stopped. I'm gonna have to put a disclaimer at the beginning of this episode and say, just trust us. Everything that's said is a lie.

[George Severus]

Wow.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I'm gonna make this right. I'm gonna make this right. Mark my words.

[George Severus]

Book a flight to LA today.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Wait, I am gonna be in LA soon. Cause I'm from la, and so if you ever want to, like, meet irl, it could be after a show where we bump into each other and you don't have better options.

[George Severus]

Ye can recreate our relationship.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah. I would love. I would love to talk in the corner of a bar.

[Sam Taggart]

I would love to talk in the corner of a bar with you as well.

[George Severus]

H. See? And this is communication. The good kind.

[Sam Taggart]

Unless you're lying.

[George Severus]

Yeah. Which we don't know which women love to do. The one thing we all agree on. The one thing we all agree on. Women lie.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That was my. That was r. That was my topic that I brought to you guys.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Well, I'm doing a thing, too, where it's like I do something and then I pretend it's culture, and it's like, girl, you just do that. That's not what everyone does.

[Sam Taggart]

I do this with trend forecasting. I'm really like, okay, what's in right now is wearing stripes. And it's like, just because I'm currently wearing stripes, it's. I use my platform for evil sometimes.

[George Severus]

Tessa. Our final segment is called Shoutouts. And in this segment, we pay homage to the grand straight tradition of the radio. Shout out by shouting out something to your squad back home. And I can go, I have one, too, George. Okay, great. I actually, you know, I could. I can do two. Okay. What's up, comedy nerds? Charli xx. I'm talking to you, girl. I want to give a shout out to Lisa Kudrow, the only woman with integrity in this town. When I saw that the Comeback was coming back, I said, this is the only reboot I can stand by, because Lisa could. Drew is one of the only creators in this town that actually does something right. And I know she would not bring something back just for a cash grap. She would bring it back because in her heart, in her soul, as a woman and as a creator, she has something new to say. And I feel in such good hands when I am in something that Lisa Kudrow does. She is one of our top comedic actresses, along with Julia Louis Dreyfus, Niecy Nash, and that's it. So write that down. Jot that down. Shout out to the Comeback. Shout out to Lisa Kudrow. Just want to say shout out to Lily Morata for giving me this polo that I'm wearing.

[Sam Taggart]

Looks amazing.

[George Severus]

Thank you. I feel like it's not exactly my style, but it is a challenge for me to pull it off, and I think the more I wear it, the more I'm pulling it off. And so I love having hand me down from badass LGBTQ creators.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I. I. Lily Mirota and I have the exact same sense of style, and I'm addicted to it. Yeah, I. Okay, I'm gonna go. Ready? What's up, freaks, losers, and perverts around the globe. I, of course, first want to give a shout out to my dear friend jk. We don't know each other. Lord. Congrats on the album. This will be out in a few. This was. This episode is going to be out way after the album comes out, but it needs to be said. I'm stanning you hard. And then my real shout out is I want to give a shout out to the guy who plays Cam on Modern Family. That's right. I have been watching Modern Family, and Cam is such a good gay guy. He nails this fucking role. And did you know that he's straight in real life? That is so wild and so groundbreaking because he does a gay thing, and it's, like, not offensive. He nails it like. It really is shocking to my core how good he is at being this really specific type of gay guy in a way that is like. Like, I don't know who you were watching for, like, years to learn how to do this affectation, but you are eating, you are nailing. And I think more straight guys should play gay if they're going to do it like that, because that is the most realistic thing I've ever seen in my life. Shout out to Cam. Xoxo. Love you, Lord. Xoxo.

[George Severus]

Sam, Wait. Sam, Is this a legitimate mind meld? Do you remember two months ago I posted Cam is the single best comedic performance of the 21st century?

[Sam Taggart]

I.

[George Severus]

Legitimately. Like, two months ago, I was doing a Modern Family rewatch, and I posted a. Like a photo of my screen and I said, this is the single best community.

[Sam Taggart]

This is a mind meld. I recently, Misha was like, what if we watch Modern Family before going to bed? And I was like, okay. And so I've just been enjoying. I.

[George Severus]

It is genius.

[Sam Taggart]

It's so good. It's so good.

[George Severus]

No, it actually, like, if you think that straight people shouldn't play gay roles, I dare you.

[Sam Taggart]

No, he's.

[George Severus]

I the dare you to watch.

[Sam Taggart]

Groundbreaking. It's wild.

[George Severus]

You know what I've heard about him? He fucks.

[Sam Taggart]

Nuh.

[George Severus]

He. Oh, yeah, we're talking. There's just like a line of women. In goes one, out goes the other.

[Ryan Seacrest]

What?

[George Severus]

He's one of the most promiscuous men in Los Angeles way. I mean, I don't know, maybe now he's married, but in. In his heyday.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I love ran through.

[George Severus]

Yeah, no, he's not ran through. He's like a playboy.

[Sam Taggart]

Let's use the proper language here.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Sorry, sorry, sorry. You're like, he's cool.

[George Severus]

Don't be sexist.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, no, no, no, no. He's. He's like a role model to me.

[George Severus]

Y.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, I love to know that.

[George Severus]

I'm glad he's getting his God, imagine. And I think just Taylor Ferguson is a great. Needless to say, I've actually seen him on stage. But imagine Sari being absolutely eaten up by the straight guy playing her husband day in and day out.

[Sam Taggart]

I can't. Can you imagine getting off work being like, okay, enough playing a gay guy. Time to go eat puss all night. That is so great. Groundbreaking.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Do you think he says the f. Slur.

[Sam Taggart]

He's earned it.

[George Severus]

No, I don't. He's earned it, but I don't think he does. Okay. I really think he leaves the. The homosexuality at work. Yeah, he's not method at all.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Talk about the office one.

[George Severus]

He has never even contemplated, like, his thoughts on gay rights. He just. It's like, that's his job. And then he goes home.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I believe you. He severed.

[Sam Taggart]

That is amazing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Severed gay rights.

[Sam Taggart]

He severed gay guys guy.

[George Severus]

He's in the elevator and his change is that he becomes like, more queeny.

[Sam Taggart]

He's like, I mean, you're so right that it. Something does come over him.

[George Severus]

Yeah. No, he's. God, it's like, Jeremy strong level, like, you are a true actor that can embody a different person.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Jordan, I love that we're on the same page about that. Tessa, whenever you're ready.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Can I ask one question first?

[Sam Taggart]

Of course.

[Ryan Seacrest]

How do I know when it's over? It's just when I stopped talking.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, it's when. When you've said everything you want to.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, my God.

[George Severus]

How do I know when the thing I'm saying is over?

[Sam Taggart]

It's so legendary, you know, it's over. There's no time. It's just however long you want to talk.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's kind of like, what if they have agents? Got it, got it, got it.

[Sam Taggart]

We're, like, doing this to you.

[George Severus]

Like me. Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Okay. High stradio lab nation. I'm going to do a mini search, shout out, like Sam. But first, I really want to say congrats, everyone, for winning the Democratic primary. And you're fabulous. It's funny, everyone keeps saying we're living out, but you're a socialist. But I do think it's, I guess, lived. Care to think electoral politics can save us, but congrats, you ran an amazing campaign. And people also keeping like. So he's on social media and that's why he won. And it's like, well, he also has.

[George Severus]

Good ideas on social media and good ground. Ground game completely.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No, he's fabulous. So that rock. And my shout out is gonna be for yogurt places and frozen yogurt places. And I know that's a period piece and people don't care about them anymore, but I always. Okay, I don't even get the yogurt. I just get the toppings. Because sometimes I just want, like, one Oreo and, like, a little bit of cookie dough and, like, two gummy worms. And there's no place I could get that that's cost effective, except for a yogurt shop. And they're all really far away from where I live because they're out of fashion. But when I see one, it means a lot to me because I can get. Get like, a fucked up little scoop of a topping and I could get, like, one of each. Like, you can get, like, a Swedish fish. You can get a cookie even. Sometimes you can get cheesecake if you're, like, a total nasty. So I really like those, and I want them to come back. I would like more of them. So that's. I Don't know when the shower's over.

[Sam Taggart]

That's amazing.

[George Severus]

What about a candy shop?

[Ryan Seacrest]

I gotta go. My Uber's here. Well, no. Cause they're always selling them in big bags.

[George Severus]

Yeah. It is less cost effective.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Mix types of foods. Like, I want a cookie and I want a candy. And honestly, if I could have my way, I'd have a Dorito too, you guys.

[Sam Taggart]

Imagine a drama about a family that they like. They have a dream to start up a yogurt shop. Finally, they get enough money to do it. They open up the yogurt shop, and then people are like, yogurt's over.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

And then they just, like, have to, like, have their shop. That's so sad.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That Shit's Creek, right?

[Sam Taggart]

That's your spec for Shit's Creek.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, this has been a career ending podcast for my. My life as a writer.

[George Severus]

Your respect for Shit's Creek is yogurt based.

[Ryan Seacrest]

They're so sad that yogurt land is over. Party.

[Sam Taggart]

Yogurt land is over.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Party.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[George Severus]

And then Dan Levy is like, the yogurt we made is not what I wanted. And everyone's like, Oscar.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, he's wearing a sweater. And everyone's like, that's good.

[Sam Taggart]

That's awesome.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It's very good.

[Sam Taggart]

Shout out.

[George Severus]

Well, Tessa, this has been an absolute.

[Sam Taggart]

This has been a huge treat.

[George Severus]

People. Follow you.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, Please follow me. Tessa Bell with four Ls on Instagram and, oh, I just made a short film that went to Tribeca. So we're gonna release it. So that would be really nice if you can watch it and even if you hate it.

[George Severus]

And what is it called?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh, it's called Sister. And it's basically the vibe is it's not. Not Wicked. It's a story about a blonde and a brunette. Frank.

[Sam Taggart]

So it's a spec script for Wicked.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah, I'm working on some more stuff, so I'd love if you would support it for I care about you, Dan.

[George Severus]

Levy, if you're listening, we got just the 19 year old chica.

[Sam Taggart]

Elevate. Elevate this teen voice.

[George Severus]

Elevate teen voices.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, thank you so much for doing it. I'm glad we could let our chemistry fly through the screen even.

[George Severus]

Yes.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yay.

[George Severus]

Bye.

[Sam Taggart]

Bye. Podcast ends now.

[George Severus]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual.

[Sam Taggart]

Learners, free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[George Severus]

Now get back to work.

[Sam Taggart]

Stradiolab. Is a Production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players Network and iHeart Podcasts, created.

[George Severus]

And hosted by George Severis and Sam.

[Sam Taggart]

Taggart executive produced by Will Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang Edited and engineered by Adam Avalos.

[George Severus]

Artwork by Michael Fales and Matt Grubb.

[Sam Taggart]

Theme music by Ben Kling hey, it's.

[George Severus]

Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. It's Oral Care Month, which means you can earn four times points on all.

[Sam Taggart]

Your favorite oral care brands.

[George Severus]

Now through July 15th. Shop in store or online for items like Coil Toothpaste, Listerine Mouthwash, Crest Mouthwash or Toothpaste Sensodyne Toothpaste, hello Toothpaste or Gum flossers and earn four times points. Points can be redeemed for future discounts on gas or groceries. Offer ends July 15th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Every business has an ambition. PayPal Open is the platform designed to help you grow into yours with business loans so you you can expand and access to hundreds of millions of PayPal customers worldwide. And your customers can pay all the ways they want with PayPal, Venmo, pay later and all major cards so you can focus on scaling up when it's time to get growing. There's one platform for all business PayPal open grow today at paypalopen.com loans subject to approval in available locations. Does Friendly have a taste? If it does, it's probably like hello's Peppermint Flavored Anti Plaque and Whitening toothpaste. Brush away plaque, show tartar who's boss and remove surface stains to naturally whiten. Hello's thoughtful and flavor forward products make brushing your teeth feel like a confetti filled bathroom dance party. So say hello to hello with the always cruelty free never tested on Animals toothpaste that's made to spread smiles. Visit helloproducts.com and let hello add some everyday yay into your life.

[Sam Taggart]

What does being financially invested sound like?

[George Severus]

A retiree on a cross country drive?

[Sam Taggart]

Someone with new long term goals?

[George Severus]

A student getting their start with over 450 ETFs.

[Sam Taggart]

IShares gives you access to countless market opportunities. IShares by BlackRock the market is yours. Visit www.ishares.com to the old perspectives which.

[George Severus]

Includes investment objectives, risks, fees, expenses and other information you should read and consider carefully before investing Risk includes principal laws.

[Sam Taggart]

Prepared by BlackRock Investments LLC member Finrail.

[Ryan Seacrest]

This is an iHeart podcast.