"Hunting" w/ Parvati Shallow

Summary

Podcast Summary: StraightioLab – "Hunting" w/ Parvati Shallow

Podcast Information:

• Title: StraightioLab
• Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Episode: "Hunting" featuring Parvati Shallow
• Release Date: July 22, 2025
• Description: StraightioLab is an intellectual podcast where comedians George Severis and Sam Taggart explore the complexities of straight culture. Each episode features a guest who helps dissect topics ranging from college fraternities to gender reveal parties, providing societal reflections with humor and insight.

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Introduction

In the "Hunting" episode of StraightioLab, hosts George Severis and Sam Taggart sit down with Survivor superstar Parvati Shallow to delve into the intersections of straight culture and hunting. The conversation seamlessly blends humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on a topic traditionally viewed through a straight cultural lens.

Guest Introduction: Parvati Shallow

Parvati Shallow, renowned for her strategic gameplay and charismatic presence on Survivor, brings her unique experiences and insights to the conversation. As an advocate for women and a former reality TV star, Parvati provides a compelling viewpoint on the cultural significance of hunting and its portrayal in mainstream media.

Key Discussion Points

1. First Impressions and Personal Interactions

The episode kicks off with George and Sam reflecting on their initial interactions with Parvati. They share candid moments of nervousness and admiration, highlighting Parvati's ability to connect effortlessly.

• George Severis (04:01): "She somehow left with a million dollars, even though we didn't know it was a competition."

• Sam Taggart (06:02): "She was hosting this podcast. And I also found myself really wanting to just go full gay guy stanning mode and just be like, bitch, you are everything."

2. Parvati’s Book and Body Language Expertise

A significant portion of the discussion centers around Parvati's book, "Nice Girls Don't Win," and her expertise in body language. Parvati elaborates on her methodical approach to understanding human behavior, which she honed both on Survivor and through her professional endeavors.

• Parvati Shallow (13:35): "I kept it simple for the reader."

George challenges Parvati to rank her book chapters from "gayest to straightest," leading to a playful yet insightful exchange about cultural perceptions and personal experiences.

3. Deception and Sexual Identity

The conversation shifts to the theme of deception, a central element in Survivor gameplay, and its connection to sexual identity. Parvati and the hosts explore how deception is perceived differently within straight and LGBTQ+ communities.

• Parvati Shallow (33:03): "I am being myself."

• George Severis (33:56): "If it's fun, it's gay. If it ruins the world, it's straight."

4. Hunting as a Symbol of Straight Culture

Parvati introduces the main topic—hunting—and discusses its deep roots in straight culture. She shares personal anecdotes about her experiences growing up in the South, where hunting is not just a pastime but a way of life.

• Parvati Shallow (54:16): "I grew up in Florida, then moved to Georgia. In Georgia, hunting is sort of like a way of life for a lot of people."

The hosts and Parvati critically examine the aesthetics and ethical implications of hunting, challenging listeners to reconsider preconceived notions associated with it.

5. Personal Anecdotes and Cultural Critique

Throughout the episode, Parvati shares humorous and thought-provoking stories from her time on Survivor and her personal life, offering a critique of reality TV’s influence on societal norms.

• Parvati Shallow (27:08): "It was the MySpace era. It was Perez Hilton."

• Sam Taggart (50:03): "It's so exhausting."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• George Severis (04:27): "Be on guard. Don't lose yourself."

• Parvati Shallow (21:37): "She kept mentioning that she accidentally drove into a pole on her way here."

• Sam Taggart (22:31): "It's a great, great quality for a friend."

• Parvati Shallow (54:42): "I want to talk about hunting."

Conclusion and Closing Remarks

As the episode concludes, the trio engages in playful banter, solidifying the camaraderie formed during their in-depth discussion. Parvati's insights into hunting and straight culture, combined with the hosts' humor and curiosity, leave listeners both entertained and enlightened.

• Parvati Shallow (79:47): "It is available everywhere, and this has been a complete and utter delight."

• George Severis (80:33): "Adam Avalos Artwork by Michael Fails and."

Final Thoughts

The "Hunting" episode of StraightioLab successfully bridges the gap between humor and intellectual discourse, inviting listeners to reflect on the cultural underpinnings of hunting within straight society. Parvati Shallow's participation adds depth to the conversation, making it a standout episode that resonates with both fans of reality TV and those interested in cultural studies.

For those who haven't tuned in, this episode offers a rich exploration of societal norms, personal identity, and the sometimes unexpected intersections between popular culture and traditional practices.

Transcript

[Parvati Shallow]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

Listen to your elders, honey. You might know them from their viral videos, but now the old gays pull back the curtain on their brand new podcast, Silver Linings with the Old Gays, brought to you in partnership with iHeart's Ruby Studio and Veiv Healthcare. Hosts Robert, Mick, Bill and Jesse serve four lifetimes of wisdom when it comes to sex, love, community and whatever else they've got on the gay agenda. So check out Silver Linings, available on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[George Severis]

Hey, it's Ryan Reynolds here for Mint Mobile. Now I was looking for fun ways to tell you that Mint's offer of unlimited Premium Wireless for $15 a month is back. So I thought it would be fun if we made $15 bills, but it turns out that's very illegal. So there goes my big idea for the commercial. Give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment.

[Parvati Shallow]

Of $45 for a three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required new customer offer for first three months only. Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks busy taxes and fees extra. See mintmobile.com High key Listen to High.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Key, a new weekly podcast. You better listen.

[Sam Taggart]

Speaking of tanning, I was sunning my nether regions cause I read that you're supposed to like get sun not only in your mouth but also in your other orifices.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Wait, are you talking about you put your hole into the sun?

[Sam Taggart]

I did.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That's crazy.

[George Severis]

Downward dog mooning the sun.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was gonna say.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is it cheeks open?

[George Severis]

It's cheeks open all the way wide.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Is your cheeks open?

[Parvati Shallow]

Uh huh.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Who's holding them? Enough of that nonsense. Now listen to High key on the iHeartRadio app. Apple Pod are Wherever you get your.

[Parvati Shallow]

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[George Severis]

Hootie Hoo. This is a quick announcement to say that we, Sam Taggart and George Severis, are going on a standup tour. That's right, a standup tour. No podcasting allowed. This summer and fall.

[Sam Taggart]

It's Called Sam and George Stand Up Tour. It rhymes, kind of. And we're going to Chicago, Philly, D.C. boston, Toronto, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Los.

[George Severis]

Angeles, and maybe more locations. Tbd. Let's just say we're looking into it. And sometimes that has worked for us in the past, and sometimes it hasn't.

[Sam Taggart]

But folks, come see us split an hour of standup. And we're so excited to see you.

[George Severis]

We're so excited. And you can get [e-mail] Stradiolab that's linktree.com Stradiolab enjoy the app.

[Sam Taggart]

Podcast starts now. What is up, everyone? We are doing that time thing, and.

[George Severis]

For any new listeners, that time thing is when we record the intro after we've already recorded the episode. Survivor's own Parvati Shallow has just left the studio, and we are, to be honest, reeling.

[Sam Taggart]

To be honest, it was, like, so much fun, and it feels unfair to be doing the intro now. I know, because I'm like. Like, normally the intro has this sort of anxiety within it of, like, how is this episode gonna go?

[George Severis]

And, of course, usually we're looking at the guest and the guest is looking at us and is like, well, you better stick the landing.

[Sam Taggart]

And now, like, we already. Like. Like, this intro is just a victory lap. Like, I'm like, wow, we fucking ate that.

[George Severis]

I'm already relaxed. I'm actually too relaxed that I'm not able to be as charismatic, charming, funny as I always am. As listeners of this podcast know, I will say something I noticed is, you know, she's obviously master manipulator, playing mind games with us the whole time. She somehow left with a million dollars, even though we didn't know it was a competition. And I had to remind myself, she's tricking you. Yeah, be on guard.

[Sam Taggart]

Be on guard. Don't lose yourself.

[George Severis]

But it's hard because all I want to do is be her friend.

[Sam Taggart]

No, she's so charming. It was really electric.

[George Severis]

I found myself really wanting, and I think we both did a good job of not doing this, but I found myself really wanting to just go full. Full gay guy stanning mode and just be like, bitch, you are everything. I really just wanted to succumb to that instinct, which I so rarely do.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, she has it in a crazy way.

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, I think listeners of us will be like, you know, in comparison to what we normally are, we were kind of like, bitch, you are everything.

[George Severis]

Yes, we were a little bitch, you are everything. And I actually think I feel ambivalent about the hold that reality Television has on our culture, but then you meet someone like that, and you're like, I'm so glad reality television exists because you deserve the spotlight. And in an alternate world. Actually, something I wanted to ask her, and I am so sad that We Ran out of Time, is in her book. She goes through so much stuff, right? She goes through, you know, physical challenges. She goes through grief. She goes through divorce, whatever. The one thing that she truly cannot stand is having a desk job. And I was like, I relate to this so hard. Like, she's describing moving back to New York and getting a job, like, working as an editor at CBS News. And she's like, the grind of having to go to a desk every day was worse than anything I experienced on the island. And I'm like, yeah, I totally understand what you mean. I would sacrifice everything to not have to go to a job.

[Sam Taggart]

That is amazing. God, she really gets it. I was really impressed because both of us were kind of nervous because we were.

[George Severis]

We were nervous.

[Sam Taggart]

She's, like, such a figure. And I was like, oh, my God, what if, like, we. We aren't as. Like, what if we aren't, you know, encyclopedic enough about her background? What if we aren't, like, smart and funny enough? And it was just like, the moment she walked in, it was like, oh, we are take. She is hosting this podcast.

[George Severis]

She was hosting it. And I also found myself. And this is not a good quality to have as an investigative journalist. I was like, I want her to like me. Which I hate feeling that way.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. But it worked.

[George Severis]

But then it. And then I also. I was, like, telling my friend that I was nervous about it, and she was like, you have nothing to be nervous about, because her entire thing is that she's studied human behavior and will be able to adapt to literally whatever energy you throw at her.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Which, of course, made me feel less special because I'm like, okay, so she could. She would be friends with anyone. What about me?

[Sam Taggart]

What about me?

[George Severis]

Doesn't she think I'm special?

[Sam Taggart]

No, she thinks you're really special. She told me.

[George Severis]

Okay, good.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Also, I am. You know, I'm in New York and you're in la, so you were actually in the room with her. I do think I would have frozen up a little bit more if I was in the room with her. She is one of the most beautiful people I think I've ever seen in my life.

[Sam Taggart]

She's gorgine. And there's something where I was like, because she's a master of Reading body language. It made me hyper self aware of how I was holding myself. And even I was doing that thing where you're looking at her in the eyes and being like, am I making too much eye contact? And I look away and I'd be like, is this weird that I'm looking away?

[George Severis]

And she knew every second. She was like, oh, God, here he goes again.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. So basically, I mean, do we need to say anything else before we just go to the episode?

[George Severis]

No, this is. Well, I want to read the title of. Parvati has a new book out. It's called Nice Girls don't win. I quite literally just finished the audiobook on my way here. I have to say, I loved it. Yeah, she's a great reader. She's a great narrator. One thing I do want to say is she kept mentioning that she accidentally drove into a pole on her way here. And the way neither of us asked any follow up questions about that I thought was iconic. Like, she's literally like, I got into an accident mere minutes ago. And we were like, anyway, so do you think Survivor is gay or straight?

[Sam Taggart]

No, she bumped into the poll. That's just LA life. You're just bumping into polls left and right.

[George Severis]

All right, all right, all right.

[Sam Taggart]

It's not a full on accident. She just bumped into a pole. It's called human.

[George Severis]

It's called being human.

[Sam Taggart]

It's called being human.

[George Severis]

Do you think maybe she didn't even bump into the poll and she was doing it as a. Like to show that she's human and to show some weakness so that we would be like enamored to her?

[Sam Taggart]

God, the games never end with that.

[George Severis]

That's crazy.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, then enjoy the EP and. Oh yeah, and buy tickets to our tour, which is really soon.

[George Severis]

Buy a ticket to our tour. And also, I just want to say since we're here, we're. I'll say it. Launching Stratiolab Book Club. Oh, yeah, we're launching Strato Lab Book Club. Our first entry is Murder on Sex island by Joe Firestone, Past guest and future. And future guest. And the way it's gonna work. The way it's gonna work is that we are giving you one month to read the book. You can purchase it anywhere you purchase books. Hopefully not the bad one. And then on August, I wanna say 17th or 18th, whatever, is a Tuesday, that is when the episode will come out where we talk to Jo about the book. You can call us at 385GAY GUYS and leave questions for Jo that we could potentially ask her and pretty much we're the new Jenna Bush Hager.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I hope that's okay.

[George Severis]

Enjoy the episode.

[Sam Taggart]

Enjoy the episode. Bye.

[George Severis]

Shall we?

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[George Severis]

I think we just start talking, Sam, because we will do the intro later.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's true. So we don't. We don't want to give the intro to Parvati right now.

[George Severis]

Well, I do think we should welcome her.

[Parvati Shallow]

I'm really loving this dynamic.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God, you have no idea. Well, we're especially constructed podcast. It's actually the first, like fully two years of us doing this podcast. We never even got to the topic because we would just be like, so is everyone feeling weird today?

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, Yeah, I relate. Well then, without further ado, please welcome to the podcast party. Shallow.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yay.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow, it's already so electric in here. You have an amazing vibe.

[Parvati Shallow]

We are buzzing.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm literally.

[George Severis]

I could not be more jealous. I don't think I've ever been more jealous of the other side of a bicoastal recording. You know, sometimes the guest is with Sam, sometimes the guest is with me. At this point, very rarely are we all together because of our really busy and fruitful careers. And so I'm.

[Parvati Shallow]

We love this.

[George Severis]

I'm literally gonna get up and get a selfie later of me on the screen and the two of you on the screen.

[Parvati Shallow]

Than feel your vibe coming through the screen as well.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes, it's coming through really strong.

[Parvati Shallow]

Radiating.

[Sam Taggart]

It's radiating.

[George Severis]

Well, I have a really manic. I have a really manic energy today because after this I have to go to a pre wedding drinks that will require me to take the ferry.

[Parvati Shallow]

Stressful.

[Sam Taggart]

We both looked at you so blankly.

[Parvati Shallow]

Why Our boats?

[Sam Taggart]

We were like, tell us more. So what's wrong? What's so wrong?

[George Severis]

Well, the clock is ticking is what I'm saying.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, you don't want to miss.

[George Severis]

And I don't know. And I literally don't know if I'm going to make it. And so I sort of, in my own way, feel like I'm on Survivor and I'm, you know, I could get voted off vis a vis, not catch fairy.

[Sam Taggart]

I think it's pretty selfish of you and you're not considering that potentially the clock is ticking over here as well. Oh, because somebody actually has to pick up her child.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. And I hit a pole on the way over here. So I'm really matching your manic vibe. But I get that feeling where time is running out. I have. I think I've had that since a child where there's like the pressure of Time. And there's a deadline. It's how I do my best work. So I really expect a lot from you in this podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, we're cram a lot in, honestly.

[George Severis]

Even the fact that we're, like, starting a little bit late. I'm like, good, because we need to have a sense of urgency. Like, we need to be truly shaking.

[Sam Taggart]

I honestly am shaking.

[George Severis]

No, I am shaking something.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm, like, so excited and nervous and chugging a coffee.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh. I was going to say, did you drink an energy drink? But, yeah, you got the caffeine.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm like. I can feel it in my stomach. I'm, like, shaking.

[Parvati Shallow]

I am, too, just by association, just watching you drink that.

[George Severis]

You know what? I'm also. I also am coming with a manic energy, because speaking of time running out, I was literally listening to your book and being like, it better end right as I enter. Because if I don't know the ending, like, what if something crazy happens to you at the end and I have no idea. And it's like the big thing you want to promote.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's like the White Lotus.

[George Severis]

You're, like, launching a soft drink, and you're here to promote your soft drink, and I have no idea. Meanwhile, I'm talking about the traders.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, you're talking about traitors. And the whole time you're like, so when are we gonna get to the soft drink?

[Parvati Shallow]

Come on, guys. That's the whole point. That's why I'm here. Yeah, all the good stuff happens at the end of the book. The last, like, two sentences. It's. Everything kind of reveals itself.

[George Severis]

Yes. Right. Well, I did wanna. One of my ideas, and of course, I didn't have time to write this down. Is I wanted you to rank from gay to straight. The titles of the chapters of your book. Yes, because all of them are like. All of them are one word. It's like, wait, I can actually pull them up.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, yeah. I kept it simple for the reader.

[George Severis]

Okay, Ready?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[George Severis]

Hold on.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay. Are we just giving it like a. Like a 1 to 10?

[Sam Taggart]

You're gonna put them in order from gayest to straightest.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. I have to. It's. That's like doing quantum computing. Do you have a whiteboard, folks?

[Sam Taggart]

Welcome to Stradio Lab.

[Parvati Shallow]

We're doing physics today.

[Sam Taggart]

It's a lot like quantum computing.

[Parvati Shallow]

You're so smart.

[Sam Taggart]

No, no, no, no. You're the one that took quantum computing.

[George Severis]

Flight, Fawn Fight, Freeze, Hunger, Lockdown. The gift of grief, Rebuilding love. Body language. Beyond Binary traitor. Actually, let's just do love beyond binary traitor.

[Parvati Shallow]

You don't want to do hunger and lockdown.

[George Severis]

And hunger and lockdown. Gay to straight hunger. Lockdown. Body language Trader.

[Parvati Shallow]

I. I think I'm going to say, oh, God, that's hard, because trader is pretty gay.

[Sam Taggart]

I agree.

[Parvati Shallow]

So I think I'm going to. I'll. I'll start a trader will be one then hunger.

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Because we know.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

How that goes.

[Sam Taggart]

Well. And if anything, hunger is gayest because, like, if there's one thing LGBTQ + Americans are doing, it's skipping dinner.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. It's like, you're not. You're having bite of popcorn.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, and they're like. They're like, out at the event. They're like, oh, I didn't have anything to eat before this.

[Parvati Shallow]

Literally last night at the awards show, I could not get a scrap of food. I couldn't get a glass of water. I was ravenous. And it was the gayest thing I've ever done.

[Sam Taggart]

We were at the Culture Awards, of course. Shout out lost Coltristas. Naturally, we were. It was a lot like Survivor in that we were starving and thirsty.

[Parvati Shallow]

Starving a little more. Slightly more glam.

[George Severis]

What would you say is more difficult, winning Survivor or attending an event?

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, okay. The hardest thing about attending these events is getting the clothes and doing the hair and the makeup. So I have really enjoyed doing these drag shows because I get to go to the drag shows and then I just get to be a boy.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's so easy. I dressed up like Boston Rob for this drag show in Brooklyn on the day that my book came out.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, it was a $3 bill.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Taggart]

I saw the pics.

[Parvati Shallow]

So fun.

[Sam Taggart]

That is so wild.

[Parvati Shallow]

And the queens come in fully glam, decked with the hair, the makeup. I'm like, oh, my God. The heels, the clothes. They stitched them together themselves, bedazzled it with their glue guns. And then Jan brings me a black tank top and red shorts. And I borrowed some shoes from my PR guy, and I was like, I'm boss. And Rob.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Get it.

[George Severis]

I'd never thought about that as an appeal of Dragon for women is like, you get to be the. You get to be, like the quote unquote schlubby one. While.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God.

[Sam Taggart]

While the queens have to get.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. I was like, I gotta work on my, like, boy dance moves. Cause I think I was still like, a little cat. Like, sure.

[Sam Taggart]

It takes time, you know, it takes time to forget all of that. All that training.

[Parvati Shallow]

We'll work on that. But winning Survivor is pretty hard, too.

[George Severis]

Yeah, for sure.

[Sam Taggart]

For sure. No, I have this thing, being at those events where I both recognize everyone and don't know anyone. There was like, I felt like a crazy person the entire time because I was, like, talking to people and they'd be like, we've never met. Or I'd be talking to someone, I'd be like, we never met. And they'd be like, I'm literally your best friend. And I'm like, this is so hard.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's so hard. It's very overstimulating.

[Sam Taggart]

Very overstimulating. And then I find myself talking about how it's overstimulating the whole time, and I'm like, maybe just ask how someone's summer is going. Try that.

[Parvati Shallow]

Right.

[George Severis]

Well, I. Sometimes I'll go the other opposite direction and I'll suddenly act as, like, a caricature of a fake person in Hollywood. Like, I'll find myself being like, so what are you working on? Oh, my God. Like, East Hampton is crazy this time of year. Like, we're trying to get out east for the summer. Like, I'll just say things I don't even mean.

[Sam Taggart]

That's a really good point. It's amazing to play a character at those things.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Yeah. I mean, if I tell someone. If I tell someone I'm on the next season of yellow jackets, they'll believe me. Like, no one's gonna pull up their phone and fact check it.

[Parvati Shallow]

No. And then they'll be like, oh, I should reach out to my agent and I should also get on the next season.

[Sam Taggart]

God, I'm the only one at this entire party that's not in the next yellow jacket, and I feel like a fucking fool.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, you idiot. I should have reached out to my agent earlier. I actually did. I actually did reach out to my.

[George Severis]

Agent about yellow jackets.

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, I met Quinta Brunson from Abbott's elementary, and she was really excited to meet me. And she was like, we love Survivor. Everyone at Abbott's is a huge fan. I'm like, oh, my God. My sister's favorite show is Abbott's elementary, and I've been watching some episodes and I find it so hilarious. I'm like, I'll do a cameo. I'll be a substitute teacher. So I just reached out to my agent. I was like, can we get me on Abbott Elementary?

[George Severis]

I mean, well, they'd be lucky to have you. Here's a question for you. Like, would you wanna play yourself or would you want to go, like, really method and play.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, oh, my God, I want to be a character. I want to be a weirdo.

[George Severis]

You should actually.

[Parvati Shallow]

I want to be like a substitute teacher who's like, smells like cats.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Parvati Shallow]

And just has, like lipstick everywhere. Like Michelle Pfeiffer on Catwoman as a teacher when she's not Catwoman.

[Sam Taggart]

Exactly. I see it, I see it.

[George Severis]

But then also, you are very disheveled. But then also, you are Catwoman. It's really high concept. Like, actually, then the show becomes about how you are also as a substitute teacher, you are Catwoman in the evenings.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

You're tired every day. But it's not because you're like, you know, have a drinking problem or something. It's because you are out fighting crime or causing crime. I forget what Catwoman does.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, she's like slinking around. She's breaking into people's houses, stealing their milk. That's what I'll be doing.

[Sam Taggart]

Taking a really literal direction. You know, George was commenting on your amazing accent work in the book.

[George Severis]

It was. I wasn't kidding. You're doing a great, especially a great southern accent. But then sometimes you'll do different voices for different characters, which I appreciate. I actually was recently listening to an audiobook where I won't say who it was, but a very famous British actor is reading it and when he does American accents, it's so bad. It's like that British thing of being like, move over over there, you know, and. And it's. And there he keeps trying to do an American accent. And I was like, with property. I was like, okay, finally an actress. Like, finally someone that can embody a character. Unlike all these, you know, theater trained losers back in the uk.

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, they. They're just too high brow. It's like they can't drop the affect because that is what's opened doors for them their whole lives. Like, if they drop it, like, what are they, Trailer trash?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. They lose all their power.

[Parvati Shallow]

Their pedigree.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Out the door with the accent.

[George Severis]

Do you feel for me?

[Parvati Shallow]

I have no pedigree. I was born into a commune.

[George Severis]

Wait until after this episode comes out. Your. Your pedigree is going to skyrocket. We're talking comedy royalty.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, Pretension.

[George Severis]

I know you talked a lot about, like, as yourself having different characters that you play and playing around with that in high school. Did you do that while reading the book? You know, like narrating the chapter, but it's like a chapter when you're at a low point. Did you, like, have to get in There emotionally and go method.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, yeah. I was feeling it. I was. Perhaps you relate. I don't know if you've ever done anything like this, but I stood in a sound booth. Thank God. Miley Cyrus was, like, on the wall behind me because I had inspiration and, like, a mentor, just guardian angel over my shoulder. She's like, you could do it perfect. And I was just standing up for eight hours a day for two days straight, just reading my life story that took me 42 years to live and three years to write. And I'm like, here we go. Like, crush through it. I was, like, crushing coffee. I was just eating chocolate and drinking ginger tea. And as I'm reading it, I'm like, I know what I like to hear. When I'm listening to an audiobook, I want someone to be, like, lively with it. Like, it's a conversation. And I've listened to some audiobooks where the content is so good, but the narrator just kind of does it in monotone.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

And I just zone out. So I'm like, I'm not going to do that. I'm going to bring the heat. And so I stood there on my feet the whole time. I did not sit down. I barely took a break because I was in the zone. This is how I do endurance challenges on Survivor.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, it really is impressive.

[Parvati Shallow]

He really is impressive. Let yourself stop. How dare you?

[George Severis]

No, this is how you're gonna get the part in Abbott. You're gonna claw your way in. You're gonna be pushing Emily Ratajkowski like everyone else that's up for that role. Julia Fox.

[Sam Taggart]

Julia Fox. Of course she's up for the same role.

[George Severis]

She's up for the same role.

[Parvati Shallow]

Me and Julia, we basically have the same life.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. And the two of you are. To get the role, you're gonna have to hold your hand up in the air for six hours.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, she's dead.

[Sam Taggart]

She's done.

[Parvati Shallow]

She's dead. I mean. Yeah. Like, how far would you go to win something that you cared about?

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, see, this is an amazing question, and I Honestly, I'm unclear because I am a deeply competitive person. But, like, sometimes if the competition gets too competitive, I'm like, I'm out.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, there's something that. It's almost like a negative trait in me that, like. Like, when I play, I have to say it. Video games, I become a different person.

[Parvati Shallow]

I'm so glad you said that. That's. It feels very vulnerable and real that you share.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm so vulnerable. I know everyone thinks I'm this cool comedian who, like, just reads a lot of books and only consumes prestige TV and the occasional season of Survivor.

[Parvati Shallow]

But now you're relatable.

[Sam Taggart]

You're sweet. I'm really normal. I play video games, and I'm just a guy. I'm a guy's guy, even.

[George Severis]

Yeah, that's Sam's role in the podcast.

[Sam Taggart]

No. I, like, used to have my entire day ruined because I would play Super Smash Bros. Online and, like, get so invested. Like, I would be, like, happy when I started and then be like, don't speak to me at the end of it. Like, it was, like. It was crazy.

[Parvati Shallow]

At what point do you know that this is a problem?

[Sam Taggart]

There was a point, like, when you. When I'm, like, just another one. I need another one. That's when I was like, oh, this is. I'm bad.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, how many days, weeks, months were you in at this point?

[Sam Taggart]

This was, like, years.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, God, Sam.

[Sam Taggart]

It was, like, really unchill.

[Parvati Shallow]

And then how did you unhook?

[Sam Taggart]

I. I literally just had to be like. It was like quitting a drug. Like, I had to be like, I am a bad person when I do this. I just have to stop. And then people will be like. Like, one time, I was on Fire island with a million gay guys, and they were like, let's play Super Smash Bros. And I was like, I don't think you understand. Like, I have a problem.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

And then we started playing, and they were like, I'm. They were like, oh, we're all good, too. We play all the time. And I was like, no, you don't understand. And I beat them all over and over and over and to the point where then they were all upset, and I was like, I'm sorry. I devoted my life to this game.

[Parvati Shallow]

This is where I shine. Let me live.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm trying to get rid of this side of myself. You guys brought it back out.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, but did you have to substitute something in for that addiction?

[George Severis]

Ooh.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, amazing question. You're, like, a much better interviewer than we.

[George Severis]

Yeah, you should actually guest host sometime as Catwoman.

[Parvati Shallow]

Actually, this is my job now. So you guys are fired, and I am. You're.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God. To be offered a buyout.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I'm ready.

[Parvati Shallow]

I'm not paying anything.

[George Severis]

No, no, we'll be in touch with your team. Don't worry. As soon as you have that Abbott. As soon as you have that Abbott Elementary.

[Parvati Shallow]

Money, my guests roll.

[George Severis]

Wait. So, Sam, what do you think that your video game experience would mean for.

[Sam Taggart]

Your Survivor I think it means I would, like. I actually would love to go on Survivor, but I'm afraid that, like, the dark side of me would come out, and I would. I would be shown as, like, a psychopath.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, you would that.

[George Severis]

So here's. Here's what I would. I would be so good at being bitchy and gossiping about everyone, and then I would, like, forget to actually do well. So I would be like, really? I'd be really good at being like, oh, my God, she is so embarrassing. Like, why did she do that? But then it would be, like, my turn on the challenge, and I. And I, like, won't have laced up my shoes.

[Parvati Shallow]

You know what? Honestly, that would get you really far.

[Sam Taggart]

That would get you far. I also think the worst trope on Survivor is, like, the really masc dude that cares about the challenges to an insane degree.

[Parvati Shallow]

I hate it.

[Sam Taggart]

I hate that trope, and I worry that that would be me. Like, when I would lose, I would be a sore loser, and I would be upset, and I'd be like, I'm just not talking to anybody for the day.

[Parvati Shallow]

Look. So you would be that.

[Sam Taggart]

I would. I would unfortunately be that. I don't want to. I don't like that about myself.

[Parvati Shallow]

I wouldn't see it with the mustache. The mustache throws me off.

[George Severis]

I also think I would suddenly. I don't normally think in these terms, but I think I would suddenly be like, I'm doing this for LGBTQ Americans everywhere, and I would be so, like, obsessed with not being a gay guy that's bad at, you know, physical challenges, because I just. That's such a. That's such a. You know, it's like, of course, when you're around straight, like, buff straight guys, you're not. No one expects you to be the one that's good. And I would be so terrified of not doing well and living up to that stereotype that I would, like, honestly start crying.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, well, that would also. You. You're pitching yourself as a Survivor winner. You're really, really sitting right in the sweet spot. It's, like, good in Challenges, but doesn't look threatening because he bumbles up with his sneakers and forgets to tie his shoes. Talks a lot of shit on people. Producers dream also. Everybody wants that because everyone's bored and starving and really uncomfortable. So it's like, Tyson Apostle, he's so funny that people just want him around because he's funny, but he's. He's such a dick in, like, the confessional. And then you find out later that he was talking shit on you the whole time, and you're like, wait, I thought we were friends.

[Sam Taggart]

I've always wondered, how emotionally affected are you by the shit talking when you.

[Parvati Shallow]

Find out later, less so now.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

Because how many times have I played? A thousand trillion times. But in the beginning, when I was a little kid, I was like, everybody likes me. I have so many friends here. And then I watched them all trash me. I was like, oh, man.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, I cannot imagine also that that time period when you went, like, early on is such a different time.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's the dark ages.

[Sam Taggart]

It's really dark.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. I wrote about it in my book because it was really gnarly. It was MySpace era.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was Perez Hilton.

[George Severis]

Perez Hilton. Oh, my God. When you were talking about how, like, you remember the desk that he would be on every day just drawing semen.

[Parvati Shallow]

The table.

[George Severis]

The table. Yes, yes. The table at Coffee Bean.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was, like, middle of the floor at Coffee Bean. It wasn't even on the side corner.

[Sam Taggart]

So people could just, like, watch him. That is so weird.

[George Severis]

Something that bothered me about Something that bothered me about people being rude about you in the episodes that I watched was. I was like. I was like, can you not tell she's fabulous? Like, I was like, can you zoom out for a second and actually take in.

[Sam Taggart]

In 2008, Fabulous was a crime.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. Like, let's take a bird's eye view.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

No, I was. I actually do think. I think Parvati. Your is. Your mistake was that being fabulous was criminalized until approximately 2013.

[Parvati Shallow]

And then that's like, I wanted to be locked up, like, handcuffed.

[George Severis]

That's right. That's right.

[Parvati Shallow]

And nobody would do it. They would just call me a slut on the street. So, like, tie me up. Put me in the dunge.

[George Severis]

Lol.

[Parvati Shallow]

I've been a bad girl.

[George Severis]

You're being like Jessica Rabbit. You're like, oh, hey. And then everyone's like, lock her up. Oh, my God.

[Sam Taggart]

God. I think I also would like. It's. I also, unfortunately, love to flirt. And I feel like if I were on an island, like, bored, sort of hungry, I would be like, well, all I'm gonna do is kind of try to flirt and have a little fun.

[George Severis]

Well, it's literally the only thing you can do for fun. You're not eating. You can't buy, and you can't go shopping. You can't. I'm serious.

[Parvati Shallow]

You can't.

[George Severis]

You can't go out for margaritas.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait, wait, wait. There's no Prada store. On the island.

[Parvati Shallow]

I'm sorry to burst your bum.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm fucking pissed. Like, it's unethical what they're doing.

[Parvati Shallow]

Agree, agree. We should all sue.

[Sam Taggart]

We should sue.

[Parvati Shallow]

We should. Class action. Citizens arrest.

[Sam Taggart]

I've always want to know, like, when you're on the flight over, like, on the first time, are you, like, with. Am I doing?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. And they have us all, like, quarantined off on the flight, so none of us are allowed to look at each other. And it's different the first time, because the first time, I don't know anybody. It's. Every contestant is new. But then for the returning seasons, you, like, walk on the plane and you're like. I remember getting on the shuttle to go to the airport, and they had all the women staying in one area and the men staying in another area. So I thought it was going to be separated, men versus women. As we started, I get on the shuttle, and Amber, Boston Rob's wife.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Parvati Shallow]

Is on the shuttle. And I was like, oh, my God. I am shocked. I am gobsmacked to see your face. I couldn't believe it. I was like, for sure, Rob's gonna be playing. But I couldn't believe she was there too. Both of them.

[Sam Taggart]

That must be so freaky. I can't imagine.

[Parvati Shallow]

And we can't talk to each other, right? So I just, like, give her a little and, like, hope we're on the same team.

[Sam Taggart]

I know. Do you get to, like, are there ways to signal, like, I want to work with you, even, like, in that moment? Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Finger guns wink. Like, a little, like a note, like, smiley face, like, do you want to work with me? Box yes or no?

[George Severis]

Parvati's special tips, like, write on a piece of paper. Like, Mistress of deception. Parvati, shallow. Write on a piece of paper. Do you want to work with me? Box yes. Box, no.

[Parvati Shallow]

And then when they circle, maybe I'm.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, yeah, you're like. You're getting fucking cut.

[George Severis]

Wait. Okay, I have a question. We have to do our first segment, but before we do, Parvati, you know, I know that you have studied body language, and you have studied, like, you know, modes of deception, and I want you to tell me, what are you getting from our body language?

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, Sam's really fidgety over here with his cord.

[George Severis]

And what do you think that means.

[Parvati Shallow]

Now? He feels seen. He feels exposed, uncovered. It's like, I've. Now I've taken away the comfort that we had with one another.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I, I. The moment you asked that question, I Felt the cord of my hand and I said, I've been found out. I. I've been a real fidgeter recently in a way where I'm like, I don't want to be.

[Parvati Shallow]

I know what's going on, though. Tell me it's because you quit video games. That's why you got. You need your fix.

[Sam Taggart]

I gotta have my fix. And now can you read George's body language?

[George Severis]

I mean, obviously it's through the screen, so it's a little weird.

[Sam Taggart]

We can only see George's shoulders and head.

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, there is like a vein kind of throbbing in your left neck. It's just pulsing. I like, can we get a zoom in on the vein? Damn, that vein's like, I'm gonna be late for the ferry.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God, you're gonna miss the fairy. I do feel tense.

[George Severis]

You're really good at this. I do feel tense. It's like Sam is jittery and I'm tense. I think that's what each of us is bringing. But then we also.

[Parvati Shallow]

Energy from you. Yeah, but it's very subtle. It's very subtle because it's under the cloak of like the like, cute striped shirt, like the open button and then the chest hair.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God. You know just what to say. Okay, and here's my follow up question for you. What have you done so far that has been a mind game for us? Like, we think you're just like connecting with us naturally and asking follow up questions. But what have you done that's been dishonest?

[Parvati Shallow]

Honestly, I couldn't tell you anymore. It's so woven into my personality, I can't. I don't know, I feel like I'm being myself.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I feel like you've never been more yourself ever.

[George Severis]

I honestly think you are. It's like you've prepared your whole life for this era of influencers and creators who are all just like completely full of shit all the time. It's like you actually had to do it with stakes. You had to be on an island and lie to people to win money. People are doing it to unbox, you know, new seltzer, brand new seltzer drinks.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, I love a new seltzer drink.

[George Severis]

Yeah, no, definitely. Please send them over.

[Sam Taggart]

Please send every seltzer over. We will never say no.

[George Severis]

Do you think Deception is gay or straight?

[Parvati Shallow]

Ooh, it's. If it's fun, it's gay. If it's. If it ruins the world, it's straight.

[George Severis]

Period, Period.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's. I think that's a really good point.

[Parvati Shallow]

But also, we just saw that viral video at the Coldplay concert. Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

We feel uniquely connected to this viral video at the Coldplay concert because we think it's, like, essential straight culture in so many ways.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Yes. I'm actually. And in fact, honestly, I'm so glad you brought it up. And we're gonna literally fast track this episode so that it comes out and it's still relevant. I so to me. So think of all the signifiers. Coldplay, one of the, like, literally maybe the straightest band. And I say that with love. With love, deeply love. Chris Martin, you know, straight in every possible way. Then the idea of a Jumbotron. So straight. Like, if you think of a Jumbotron wedding proposal, like, the idea of wanting to be on the Jumbotron, the idea of, like, looking up and seeing your face and waving. It's so, like, you know, random guy at the basketball game, and it's his one chance to be on a big screen. Then we have. He is an AI CEO. Is there anything more straight than that? We have that. We have the head of hr, the straightest department in a company. It is the department. The job is to make sure people follow rules and don't sexually harass one another. It is the most. It is the most prude, sex negative job you can have.

[Parvati Shallow]

Very mad men.

[George Severis]

Very mad men.

[Sam Taggart]

The HR element is my favorite element.

[George Severis]

Crazy.

[Sam Taggart]

It's like the one person you probably shouldn't have an affair with is the HR lady.

[Parvati Shallow]

No, my favorite is that he drops to his knees and puts his hands up and waves with his hands like he's a clown. Like, he planned that. That was his bit.

[Sam Taggart]

It is so crazy. And now even, like, I even find the cheating to be, like, even cheating. I'm sort of like, well, yeah, you should be hooking up with other people.

[George Severis]

Yeah. No, the che cheating is. It's like that's. Cheating is the straightest form of deception. It's like the straightest sin. Because it is, you know, the prereq is monogamy. It's like something you can only do if you already subscribe to, like, straight norms or whatever. So he's cheating. And then the reaction. It's like the complete lack of chill. Like they can't adjust their behavior accordingly and try to. They can't actually commit to deceiving. It's like the second they're found out even a little bit, they're literally like, arrest me.

[Parvati Shallow]

I broke the rule.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn. Yeah, it's him. Getting down is so wild.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's so funny. And her, like, burying her face and her friend laughing so hard. Her friend was there, like, watching this whole thing play out. What are the odds? And he's the AI tech guy. I'm like, your own technology turned against you. So is the technology gay?

[George Severis]

You think. You think, like, the. The technology of like, basically, like, surveillance technology?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. Is it gay or something?

[George Severis]

This is. That's a really good question.

[Sam Taggart]

That's an amazing question. It's kind of gay because it's reality tv.

[George Severis]

It's reality tv. Yeah. It's honestly, it's like Real Housewives. It's the logic of Real Housewives.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, did that for that moment to be picked up by that technology.

[George Severis]

In that moment, Chris Martin was Perez Hilton. Like, he was literally, like. He was like. He was like, I'm gonna expose these cheaters, these infidels.

[Sam Taggart]

I also, like, have never understood the idea of an affair that's like. Like we're pretending we're dating. Like, I was like, isn't an affair like, hotel room and, like, being bad instead they're, like, going to a Coldplay concert and, like, holding each other. I'm like, wait, what?

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, probably in their work. Sweet. Literally, they're like, oh, we're all. We'll see at the concert. Straight after work, baby. And then they're, like, canoodling to the song. Their co workers.

[Sam Taggart]

I need to. Do we know what song was playing?

[Parvati Shallow]

I hope it was yellow.

[Sam Taggart]

I hope it was yellow.

[George Severis]

I hope it was Viva la vida.

[Sam Taggart]

I was going to say. I've actually been noticing a trend alert. Ring the alarm. I so many songs. These either are Viva la Vida coded. I keep hearing the. Like, the strings are back in a big way. It comes in, always reminds me of Viva la Vida.

[George Severis]

It comes in and out.

[Parvati Shallow]

I love the harp as well.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[George Severis]

The fact that they are. Sorry, I know we're pushing it with this topic, but the fact that they are so happy in that moment also, it's like the straight people that can only have fleeting happiness when they are doing something that's against the rules. And you can tell that in that moment, they are so in love. But it can't last.

[Parvati Shallow]

It can't last. And that's the only reason that they are in love.

[George Severis]

I know, I know.

[Parvati Shallow]

Feeling that way.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, now I feel bad for them.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's forbidden. Really.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, no, I know.

[Parvati Shallow]

I feel like, you know, what if they're gonna be together, what's gonna happen with their partners? I'm like, what is the fallout of this?

[George Severis]

I mean, that means I do need.

[Sam Taggart]

A TV show about it.

[George Severis]

I do too. But it's also, you know what's annoying? It's like you can't even enjoy an AI CEO cheating anymore because suddenly they're doxxing his kids. Like why? I need to be able switch. I need to be like, okay, we had fun for 24 hours. Now we have to move on.

[Sam Taggart]

I agree. And I even think the brand using of it to be like, don't get caught cheating at kfc. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. You don't get to have this. This is ours. This is for the people.

[Parvati Shallow]

This is for the. It is for the people. We are the bourgeois and we need the rebel moment.

[Sam Taggart]

Should we do our first segment? We are pushing it.

[George Severis]

We are pushing it. Sorry. We'll do our first segment very quick and then we'll get into our topic.

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[Parvati Shallow]

Honestly. Honestly.

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[Sam Taggart]

Okay, Parvati, our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment we're going to ask you a series of rapid fire questions to gauge your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture. It's basically this thing or this other thing. And the only rule is you can't ask any follow up questions or we will snuff out your torch, I'll say that much.

[George Severis]

We literally.

[Parvati Shallow]

That's really traumatic for me. I can't believe you just went there.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, we go there. We go there on this podcast.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay, I see.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Just when you were getting comfortable. Just when you were getting comfortable, we were revealing that we're actually evil gay guys. Not kind of gaggy gay guys that stand.

[Parvati Shallow]

I kind of picked that up too.

[George Severis]

We're the Perez Hilton. Yeah, we're the Perez Hilton gay guys.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. There's always a shadow.

[Sam Taggart]

George, kick us off.

[George Severis]

Okay. All right.

[Parvati Shallow]

And what am I supposed to say? This or that?

[George Severis]

So here's the thing. You have to say this or that and that's it. And I actually, you know, we actually.

[Sam Taggart]

We usually when the guest asks that question, we yell at them.

[George Severis]

Yeah. But we're actually. Because we're standing so much because now, now we actually changed our personalities again and we're no longer. And. And now we're Evan Ross cats.

[Parvati Shallow]

I'm following. I'm really enjoying this.

[George Severis]

By the way, Parvati, we went from, from Perez Hilton to Evan Ross cats. So now we are stanning you and.

[Sam Taggart]

We are not hosting a carousel of meme.

[George Severis]

We are hosting a carousel of memes and we are saying yas queen.

[Sam Taggart]

Diva.

[George Severis]

Diva. Okay. So. And I actually, I tried to sort of sprinkle in references from the book in mine. Okay, ready? The body keeps the score. Or I got Havarti at the store.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. Okay. I can't. I. This. Am I doing it right?

[Sam Taggart]

So you have to pick which one.

[George Severis]

The body keeps the square you gotta.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

I have to. I reference it in my book. It's, like, really foundational for me.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

Is that we can't.

[Sam Taggart]

That's. That sounds like another question.

[George Severis]

We can ask any questions.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

Parvati, I wish you were wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

[Sam Taggart]

That would be fun. This is a deception thing. I don't know how, but you're playing a game. Okay. A blindside parentheses survivor or the blindside parentheses white savior movie.

[Parvati Shallow]

A blindside.

[George Severis]

Okay. Parvati. Micronesia or Micropenis.

[Parvati Shallow]

Micronesia.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Being voted out or being noted to shout.

[Parvati Shallow]

Being being noted to shout. Wait.

[George Severis]

Okay. Mine is so similar. Ready? Betraying your tribe, accepting a bribe, or delivering a diatribe.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, delivering a diatribe.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Finding the immunity idol or whining. Honestly, I'm full.

[Parvati Shallow]

Whining. Honestly, I'm full.

[George Severis]

Okay.

[Parvati Shallow]

That's what I said last night at the culture award. I couldn't even eat a skittle right now.

[Sam Taggart]

God, I'm full.

[George Severis]

Okay. Coming out as bi or having doubts about that one guy.

[Parvati Shallow]

Coming out as bi.

[George Severis]

Yeah. And they're actually related if you think about it.

[Sam Taggart]

That's true.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, they are. Exactly.

[George Severis]

Sometimes having doubts about that one guy can lead someone to coming out as bi.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's. Well, they should be.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, everyone should be.

[Parvati Shallow]

But is bi even a thing?

[Sam Taggart]

Literally. Let's start there. Okay. Winning a meal from Chili's or making a big deal out of something silly.

[George Severis]

Oh, that's really good.

[Parvati Shallow]

That is good. Because winning a meal from Chili's if you're on an island and starving with.

[Sam Taggart]

No Prada store, like.

[Parvati Shallow]

But actually, I couldn't name one menu item from Chili's. It's not like you got a Bloomin Onion, so.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, the ribs, of course.

[Parvati Shallow]

But I know I can't remember the second one, so I'm gonna say Chili's. Color.

[George Severis]

Well, Parvati, we rank our guests performance on a scale of zero to 1,000 doves. Named after the Lady Gaga. B side. 1,000 doves.

[Sam Taggart]

And I mean, I have to say, from 2020.

[George Severis]

Yeah. I have to say, I'm like, the idea that I would ever. That either of us would ever have the power to give to, like, give Parvati a low score. Like, we would.

[Parvati Shallow]

I feel like I did get a low score.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God. Don't even say that.

[George Severis]

Don't say that.

[Sam Taggart]

Don't say that.

[Parvati Shallow]

I love you guys.

[George Severis]

I know. See, you're already. You're playing mind games again.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm so good at that.

[George Severis]

You're so deceptive.

[Sam Taggart]

You're full of Deceit.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's crazy, you guys, I am being myself.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh my God, that's true. She's never been more herself than she is in this moment.

[Parvati Shallow]

You know, I know you of all people.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm gonna do something really radical.

[George Severis]

What?

[Sam Taggart]

Because I'm feeling so kooky. Crazy.

[George Severis]

Uh huh.

[Sam Taggart]

1001 doves.

[George Severis]

Whoa, whoa. And I actually have to agree.

[Sam Taggart]

This has never happened.

[George Severis]

This has never happened before. We've actually, we've gotten a thousand doves a few times, but never a thousand and one. This is a new record.

[Sam Taggart]

This is a new record.

[Parvati Shallow]

I feel like I have wings.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, the way that I feel like potentially I'm like on some sort of hallucinogenic right now. I feel like euphoric in a way that is like, not healthy.

[Parvati Shallow]

I have to come clean. Yeah, I have. Like, there's something I don't. I went to the doctor and they told me this and they said that I just have this pheromone that oozes out of my skin, makes people high. It's similar to psilocybin. It just oozes out. I can't help it.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, as long as the doctor said it.

[George Severis]

So you've been diagnosed with medical charisma.

[Parvati Shallow]

Psilocybin. Quality air coming out of my mouth.

[Sam Taggart]

Interesting. So I'm curious, this is fascinating. This is why you're not allowed on planes anymore. Because the pilots.

[Parvati Shallow]

Actually, I can only fly private. That's it.

[George Severis]

You can only fly private. And then everyone there has to have like a full on hazmat suit because otherwise.

[Parvati Shallow]

But it's like, why would you do that to yourself? Don't you want to be high?

[Sam Taggart]

Say that?

[George Severis]

Yeah, but it's like if you're flying, if you're flying a plane, suddenly you're ingesting the pheromones. Suddenly you're like, you get overconfident. You think you can do a flip on the plane.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's true. That's why I can actually. The only person who is immune. Oh, Peter Weber from Traders.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, oh, oh, Bachelor.

[George Severis]

Sorry. He is. He got vaccinated.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, he. I don't know what. He's got some kind of immunity. It's very sort of like kryptonite. I don't know what it is.

[Sam Taggart]

I will say, watching that season, I was like, why isn't he falling in love? I was like, hello.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was so rude.

[Sam Taggart]

It was so rude. And like, I like you like lying, like being like, no, I'm not. Like, just trust me, work with me. And he like wouldn't I was like, no one says no.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was like, crying.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, the traitors is it. You're, like, there all day and you have to, like, lie all day long.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. I can't. You sleep for, like, two hours.

[Sam Taggart]

It sounds exhausting.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's insane. I had dinner with Janelle because, you know, I went to the Mall of America for, like, straightest place on planet.

[Sam Taggart]

Earth, literally many times.

[Parvati Shallow]

What?

[Sam Taggart]

Well, I have family in Minneapolis.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay.

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

I've been a bunch of.

[Parvati Shallow]

I couldn't. I tried to walk around and I.

[Sam Taggart]

Was like, it's a nightmare.

[Parvati Shallow]

I had dinner with Janelle, though, from Traders, who's. She's very funny. And she had that fight with Sandra at the round table. And Janelle's like, every time I would go back to my room, I'd have my notebook and I'd be writing notes about who it could be. And I was like, yeah, I didn't do that.

[Sam Taggart]

I was kind of more of a feelings based person.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was like, that's why I was such a bad, faithful, like, traitor. Acting like a faithful. Because I could not get into that mindset where I'm like, who could be the traitor? Because I was like, it's me. Just don't look at my face because I'm squinting so much.

[Sam Taggart]

The squinting was so funny. There was one elimination where, like, they didn't show your or one banishment where they didn't show your face. And I was like, it was like, near when you were eliminated. And I was waiting desperately for the reaction because I was like, how could she possibly play this off? Like, it is so clear that it was me.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was not playing it off. It was so obvious. I was like. And that's in my book. I'm like, I just, like, froze deer in the headlights.

[Sam Taggart]

It seems really hard to be a traitor on that show.

[Parvati Shallow]

Also, all the guys on the show, the straight guys were like, oh, I would rather die than be a traitor.

[Sam Taggart]

It was. I'm always. This is where deception is queer, where it's like, people understand. It's like a fun game to try to deceive.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's so. That's the whole game.

[Sam Taggart]

And straight guys are like, I. I will die with honor.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

What are you talking about?

[Parvati Shallow]

You won't catch me canoodling my secretary at a Coldplay concert.

[George Severis]

Well, okay, here's the thing. Straight guys don't understand that L. Deception can be fun. Like, yeah, it's play. It's like they. It's like they do lie, but about things that get People killed. They would never just lie because it's, like, a fun thing to do.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. That's what needs to change.

[Sam Taggart]

Also, Parvati, could you see in my eyes when you first said Peter the way I was like, I have no idea.

[Parvati Shallow]

You were totally stunned. Yeah. That's why I elaborated.

[Sam Taggart]

And I really appreciate that. I'm bad with names.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. But I could tell because we. Because you're very casual, and you're very, very. You've got some flow.

[Sam Taggart]

Sure.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, really good flow.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I'll take it.

[Parvati Shallow]

And then when I. You've got mail. Aol.

[Sam Taggart]

Who's getting emails?

[Parvati Shallow]

Was that Meg Ryan sending you guys a note? Tom Hanks. Is that gay or straight?

[Sam Taggart]

Tom Hanks?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Is Tom Hanks gay or straight? Great question.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait, I want to go back. You were telling me how I had amazing flow.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, okay. Yeah, you. Such flow. And then when I said Peter Weber, you were like. You stiffened.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was like I'd called you out.

[George Severis]

I mean, I do think so, but, you know.

[Parvati Shallow]

But I'm on your side. Of course I'm your ally. Of course I'm gonna help you.

[Sam Taggart]

We're working together.

[George Severis]

Sam, you don't. It's. Sam doesn't have a great poker face. And actually, neither do I. I think that's.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I don't.

[George Severis]

You can immediately tell if we're uncomfortable, which is honestly an amazing quality to have if you're.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's a great, great quality for a friend.

[George Severis]

Yes, for a friend. For a comedian, not a player. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

It's even hard, I have to say, as someone at a Hollywood event sometimes, where someone will be like, I love you. Like, you're my best friend. I'm like, we barely know each other.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. You can't even be like, ah, yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I'm so bad at being like, yes. Or like, they can. They can smell it on me, that it's like, un.

[Parvati Shallow]

There was a real housewife there last night wearing a silver beaded gown. Do you know the one I'm talking about? I saw her long blonde hair.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm not super familiar with the housewife.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was in the. Neither am I. And she was a big fan. She came up to me, and she was like, oh, my God, I love you. And she was talking to my friend Donald at the bar. And can you believe they had a bar? It was hiding.

[George Severis]

And it was Donald Trump. It was Donald Trump.

[Sam Taggart]

Right at the. After.

[Parvati Shallow]

I am actually. I feel like I'm gonna throw up.

[Sam Taggart]

Let's start that rumor.

[Parvati Shallow]

I feel ill. Was he at the Culture Awards.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Donald Trump actually spoke.

[George Severis]

He presented Sonia Morgan and.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, yeah. Best makeup for best makeup.

[Parvati Shallow]

And Sasha Colby. They presented together.

[George Severis]

Yeah, that's right. They had an amazing, like, couples comedy bit.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was cute.

[Sam Taggart]

It was cute.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was so cute.

[George Severis]

No, listen, you have to hand it to him. Like, he was funny at the Culture Awards. Like, yes, I didn't vote for him, but, like, he has what it takes.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, he brought it. It was his best work.

[Sam Taggart]

It was his best work, and he was his most authentic self.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

So I think that's valid.

[Parvati Shallow]

Can't hate on that. Authenticity is.

[George Severis]

King Parvati, do you feel like you're, as a reality superstar, you're complicit in Donald Trump becoming president? Because he.

[Parvati Shallow]

I have thought about this. I have thought about it.

[Sam Taggart]

Really?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes, because he, you know, kind of blew up through the Mark Burnett channel, which is my channel as well.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh.

[Parvati Shallow]

Mark Burnett started Survivor. Like, so I mostly blame Mark Burnett. I can't be held accountable because I originally tried out for the Amazing Race, and they just put me where I belonged on Survivor.

[Sam Taggart]

That's not your fault.

[Parvati Shallow]

So I'm sorry. Like, I have been doing my part for women, because if I wasn't there, who would speak for the women? I'll say so. I feel like I'm balancing the scales.

[George Severis]

Okay. So skirting accountability is what I'm hearing.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait.

[Parvati Shallow]

I accept that.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Let's do literally five minutes on the topic.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes. Parvati, what is a straight topic you have brought to us today?

[Parvati Shallow]

I want to talk about hunting.

[Sam Taggart]

Love that. What do you feel is straight about hunting?

[Parvati Shallow]

Hunting. It's. Well, first of all, guns.

[Sam Taggart]

Guns.

[Parvati Shallow]

Camo. Like dirt. Like being in a dirt perch.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, a dirt perch. Have you hunted before?

[Parvati Shallow]

I have.

[Sam Taggart]

Really?

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay. I dated a Navy seal sniper.

[George Severis]

What?

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God.

[Parvati Shallow]

Straight. Straightest. Man I ever. Actually, he might not. I don't know. I can't say.

[Sam Taggart]

Bye, Ruby.

[Parvati Shallow]

No, I can't say. I can't say. He's pretty. I'm sure he's straight. Anyway, so. Yeah. But before that, even before that, I'm a girl from the south, so I grew up in Florida, then moved to Georgia. And in Georgia, hunting is sort of like a way of life for a lot of people. So my first boyfriend in high school, his name was T.R. busby. Tommy Ray. Tommy Ray Busby. His mom looked like Reba McEntire.

[Sam Taggart]

Tommy Ray Busby.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

That is a cartoon.

[Parvati Shallow]

He was cute. He was so cute. But he would wear camo, and he took me to Buckarama. Okay. It is a hunting convention called Buckarama. Like, deer, when you shoot, like, a buck is the one that you're trying to shoot. So it's like all these straight guys coming over to this convention, like, in a warehouse, in, like, a corn cob type warehouse that they turned over sideways, and then they just have booths and booths of, like, hunting gear, camo, like, orange vests. Because you don't want to get shot. You don't want to. What's that guy's name? Dan. Dan Quail.

[George Severis]

Yes, Dan Quail.

[Sam Taggart]

Dan Quail. Yeah. Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Somebody got shot. Somebody got shot hunting, Right.

[Sam Taggart]

Of course.

[Parvati Shallow]

Some old, straight white man.

[Sam Taggart]

I like the. I have always loved the aesthetics of hunting. I have found the camo. I've always wanted to wear the bright orange vest out and about.

[Parvati Shallow]

You should, but you should wear it with just a pair of cutoff denim shorts.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, yes. Well, of course. Give the girl something to talk about.

[George Severis]

I've been. Now I've been friends with Sam for so long, and he. So much of his sensibility is appropriating straight aesthetics that it takes me a while to remember that they are originally straight. Like Sam. It's like, it's hunting, it's camo, it's cowboy. It's like. Like all these things. It's even, like, frat aesthetics and, like.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

And flannel and whatever. And I just think I associate all them with Sam so much that I'm. It. I do have to remember. Oh, right. There are people that are non. Ironically wearing camo. Camo to kill animals.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes. That's. They do it on purpose.

[George Severis]

The.

[Sam Taggart]

The killing. Like, everything about it sounds amazing, except for the part where you actually have to, like, pull the trigger and kill.

[Parvati Shallow]

Okay. And then not only that, you then have to go collect the dead animal and drag it across the dirt with its bloody trail. And then do you know what they do with it? They're, like, so proud. They bring it back to their log cabin in the woods, and then they hang it up on a hook upside down and let the blood drain out of it onto a concrete floor. Like a murder scene. Like Dexter.

[Sam Taggart]

It's gonna make me throw up, to be honest. I had this thing. I, like, there was, like, a fear I had as a child that someone would be like, you have to go hunting with me. And I would have to be like, okay, I'm gonna go hunting with you. And I was like, I, like, played the fantasy out in my head where I'm like, oh, God, I'm gonna have to make the decision like, do I pull the trigger or not?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

And it's always like, no one's asked me to do that. It's not really part of my culture. But.

[Parvati Shallow]

But like, if you're saying yes to going hunting and you want to win, you're gonna probably pull the trigger.

[Sam Taggart]

The only, the only queer hunting, I think is if you're using like an old school bow and arrow.

[George Severis]

Ooh.

[Parvati Shallow]

Or a taser.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God. They should do just gay guy taser night. Okay, y', all, Gay guy taser night. Who's coming? And we're just tasing a bunch of gay guys.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's perfect because then you can do the most dangerous game. You can hunt each other.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

And you're just tasing.

[Parvati Shallow]

Tell me about it. I've always wanted to drop someone with a taser.

[Sam Taggart]

You would be so good at that.

[George Severis]

Yeah, you'd be really good at that. You should actually start, like, gay guy taser facility. Like a laser tag taser night.

[Sam Taggart]

Hosted by poverty.

[George Severis]

Hosted by poverty.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, sold out in one second.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, yeah, it's drag also.

[George Severis]

It's drag also.

[Parvati Shallow]

Taser night.

[George Severis]

Honestly. Let's get bravo on the horn. They just saw you last night at the culture awards. I'm sure they would live.

[Parvati Shallow]

I gotta email my agent.

[Sam Taggart]

You've gotta email your agent?

[George Severis]

Yeah. You're like, okay, we have Abbott down. I have my catsuit. Next stop, gay guy taser night. It's sponsored by Pringles.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. I chose Pringles as my iconic snack last night. You're really bringing this full circ. I am into that, but I don't want a close up taser. I want the kind that like, shoots out. Like Silly Putty.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. The little strings. Yeah, I love.

[Parvati Shallow]

So you can like, it's like, where's it going to go? I don't know. Who is it going to actually land on?

[Sam Taggart]

The thing about a taser, there's something so appealing about even being hit by it because I'm like, okay, like, what would it look like?

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, you're not gonna die.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm not gonna die. Like, yes, it'll hurt, but it's so temporary.

[Parvati Shallow]

But you're gonna.

[George Severis]

I mean, I mean, let's say it. It's kink adjacent. Like, I do wanna be taste.

[Sam Taggart]

It's kink adjacent. It's also like, I'm someone who loves spicy food. And I feel like this is like adjacent to spicy food. How much can I handle?

[George Severis]

Okay, get this. Parvati here's a huge move for you. It's like hot ones, but you're tasing people instead of having them taste different. Hot sauces.

[Parvati Shallow]

I think this is a YouTube series.

[Sam Taggart]

Can we get your fucking agent in the room right this.

[George Severis]

Okay, Jonathan, Jonathan, you are leaving money on the table.

[Parvati Shallow]

But, you guys, I have a real question about this, please. If you wore rubber boots, would it not affect you, like, if you got tased?

[George Severis]

Oh, because it would, like, neutralize or absorb the tase.

[Parvati Shallow]

So, like, do people start walking around town in rubber boots just in case.

[George Severis]

They get tased at the big show?

[Parvati Shallow]

Dishwashing gloves, rubber boots, does that protect.

[George Severis]

Yeah, it's like Meryl Streep is showing up to your interview show to promote her big series at, you know, of you, and you have to tase her, but you're showing up in rubber boots and she's immune.

[Parvati Shallow]

Dish gloves, she's immune and like a parking cone on her head.

[Sam Taggart]

But she, like, pretends. She, like, puts a wig over the parking cone so she pretends she's not. She like pretends she's just, like, really tough. She's like, like, oh, that didn't feel like anything actually. And everyone's like, wow, Meryl Streep's amazing. She got tased the highest level and barely reacted.

[Parvati Shallow]

And I love this girl. I mean, I have to say, prison experiment.

[George Severis]

This is what it's all leading to. Like the. All those, like, videos they do where they do lie detector tests on celebrities. Like, all the hot ones, like chicken shop date. It's all leading to literally them being tased.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's just, I think this is perfect for me specifically because of my brand from Survivor. It's like, you just. You gotta endure the pain to get whatever it is that your goal is. And if it is to sell movies or books or your TV show, if you're coming to promote something, you gotta suffer for it.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, I honestly think the worst part about this is that it's, like, completely possible.

[George Severis]

No, it's gonna happen.

[Sam Taggart]

It's fully gonna happen.

[George Severis]

Yeah, it's like.

[Sam Taggart]

And I'm gonna tune in. I can't wait for you to have Lee.

[George Severis]

Well, not only are we gonna tune in, we are co producers. Cause it was our idea.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, I know.

[George Severis]

Jonathan, write that down. Jonathan, then write that down. Jot that down. I'll send you my email after the show.

[Sam Taggart]

Created by. I want to create it by credit.

[George Severis]

I want to create it by credit. And then I want to have my own little segment.

[Parvati Shallow]

I have decided you're created by credit in camo block letters.

[George Severis]

Oh, yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

Hot.

[George Severis]

When was the last time you went hunting?

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, me? No. I went one time with that Navy seal.

[Sam Taggart]

Did you shoot anything?

[Parvati Shallow]

No, no, no, no. But he gave me the binoculars, and he was like, I found the elk that I've been looking for forever. And I was like, poor thing. Like, he's gonna get him because he's a sniper. He's trained by the Navy. Like, he's actually quite good. And so he gives me the binoculars, and he's like, okay, read the numbers off the binoculars, because they're like technoculars.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, sure, sure, sure.

[Parvati Shallow]

So I'm like, oh, should I read fake numbers? Should I tell him 72? I was like, 24. But anyway, and then he shot it, and then it was too far away. I couldn't see, and I was like, yes, he missed. Then we walk over the hill, and he did not miss.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, no.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was really quite upset about it. And also then afterwards, they're telling these stories, and these guys are laughing in the van, and they're like, ha, ha ha. We did, like, a pig call. Because there's these wild pigs. Oh, all over Texas in this area. And he's like, yeah, they're just. They're a pest. So we just come with machine guns. I'm glad you had that reaction, because it's wrong.

[Sam Taggart]

Machine guns.

[Parvati Shallow]

Charlotte's Web.

[Sam Taggart]

That's not right.

[Parvati Shallow]

They're sweet. They're cute. Pigs are cute.

[Sam Taggart]

Let them. Let them run.

[Parvati Shallow]

Let them. Like, what are they doing to you? Do you live in this forest, sir? Like, you have a log cabin that.

[Sam Taggart]

Is so villain coded.

[Parvati Shallow]

It was really dark, and they were like, we're doing good for the world, like, shooting all these pigs. And I was like, absolutely not. I cannot get behind this.

[Sam Taggart]

Can I tell you? I. I think I'm realizing a bias I have in myself where when you're talking about killing a pig, you're talking about killing a deer. I'm like, that's horrible. But if you talk about shooting a bird out of the sky, I'm like, go off. I'm like, get. What's yours, diva?

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, oh, my God.

[Sam Taggart]

There's something about birds where I'm like, let them. Let them all die.

[Parvati Shallow]

That's why you have a taxidermy duck in your house.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's true. Because I don't see it as a real being.

[Parvati Shallow]

You're like, duck, D. Duck, dad. How dare you? I love birds. I really. I feel like birds are. Birds and I are very closely related.

[Sam Taggart]

Really?

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. I feel very connected to birds.

[George Severis]

I could see it the, like, sort of the. You know, you moved around a lot. Like the migrational patterns. It's like. Like not having roots, like going. Going from flight, going from island to island, just deceiving various men.

[Parvati Shallow]

My migration, my migration path, my ma.

[Sam Taggart]

George, do you relate to any animal?

[George Severis]

No.

[Sam Taggart]

This is a really good question, because I have one.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, cute. Which one I relate to?

[George Severis]

I relate to animals that, like, are kind of only aesthetically pleasing and sort of useless. Like. Like a flamingo. It's like, surely that. Surely a flamingo cannot like, really survive. Like, it's like its legs are way too skinny. It's like, so. It's like pink. It's just sort of like doing a little dance. Or like a penguin. Like, I like animals that feel very.

[Parvati Shallow]

Flamingos are very closely connected to queens. Did you know this?

[George Severis]

I did not.

[Parvati Shallow]

Because Alice in Wonderland, the Queen of Hearts, uses a flamingo to play croquet.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's true. So, yeah, that's a great point.

[Parvati Shallow]

That's like, I just watched that. My daughter's in a. That's why I have to go pick her up, because she's in an Alice in Wonderland production right now. So we just watched the show. The flamingos are a critical part.

[George Severis]

No, they are regal. It's like, they are.

[Sam Taggart]

You said that, like, with such seriousness. I love that.

[Parvati Shallow]

Indispensable to me.

[George Severis]

It's like, flamingos are regal and useless, and that's exactly how I feel. Like, I'm like, interesting. It's like, to what end? No one knows.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. But they always stand on one foot. Have you ever seen them standing on two legs?

[Sam Taggart]

Never.

[Parvati Shallow]

Why?

[Sam Taggart]

They're always having fun. They're always sort of like, look what I can do.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. They're showing off.

[Sam Taggart]

They're showing off. They're like, I'm pink, I'm skinny, and I can stand on one leg.

[Parvati Shallow]

Original supermodel.

[Sam Taggart]

Original. I've always been dolphin coated.

[Parvati Shallow]

Cute.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. It's all about the sense of play.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yes. And you're a pack animal.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I. I love to socialize.

[Parvati Shallow]

I know. Would you play with, like, humans and other creatures, or would you stick to your own kind?

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, that's an interesting question. And a trap, of course, I would be open to all species.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. You walked right into that. This was your chance to prove your loyalty.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn. There's no winning.

[George Severis]

There's no winning.

[Sam Taggart]

You are so. You have so much experience in this. That. That is true. That is how that would happen.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

That is wild.

[George Severis]

Harvey, are you just all birds or any bird in particular.

[Parvati Shallow]

Well, I love, like, hummingbirds. And I have. I see hawks all the time. I feel like, very kind of spiritually connected to hawks. If anything big and intense is going on in my life, I usually will look up in the most random place and see a hawk, like, sitting on a telephone pole or, like, flying over my car or something. But I'm very sort of like, woo, woo. Like that. I see, like, ladybugs and I'm like, oh, that's a good sign.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I. I think that's a fun quality to you. I'm trying to think if I like what things I think I see. And I don't have an answer, which is an amazing podcast I have.

[George Severis]

I always go opposite. Like, people say black cats are bad luck, so I always think they're good luck.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah, I feel that.

[George Severis]

And I always like, whatever. Like, literally whatever we're supposed to think. Like opening an umbrella indoors or like, breaking a mirror. I'm always. I feel like that, like, prevents the evil eye rather than invites it. It's like, it's good that something bad happened because that means the other bad thing won't happen.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, I hear you.

[George Severis]

You know what I mean?

[Parvati Shallow]

I feel that way about breaking a glass.

[George Severis]

Yes. 100.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, if I shatter, because I'm a little, like, kind of, I can be very accident prone. I mean, I ran into a pole on the way over here. I'm like, oh, shoot. I felt a bump and I was like, dang. I was just trying to get a metered parking spot, you know?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, it's tough.

[Parvati Shallow]

But if I, like, move my arm rapidly across the counter and a glass flies off the shelf and shatters into a million pieces, I'm like, huh, Lucky day.

[Sam Taggart]

I know what you mean. When I do, when I make a mistake sometimes I'm like, oh, good. I'm like, banking negative points so that I'll, like. They'll get rewarded somehow later.

[Parvati Shallow]

I think so.

[George Severis]

I mean, it's literally like, when it's like rain on your wedding day, it's like good luck because that's the bad thing that happened. But then, you know, the marriage will be good or whatever.

[Parvati Shallow]

Right. But are you guys, like. Brene Brown talks about. About foreboding, joy. That feeling of, like, you're so joyful and everything's working out great and you're really happy, and then you have this pit in your stomach that you're like, it's all gonna go to shit.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I have that big time. When I have a string of good things, I'm like, Ruh Roh.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, no.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I'm like, how is this gonna come crashing down?

[Parvati Shallow]

And then does it.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

No, that was a good one.

[Parvati Shallow]

Do you think that's your own self fulfilling?

[Sam Taggart]

Probably.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Probably.

[George Severis]

I remember being, like, being a teen and having a very, almost, Almost Zen, like, understanding that everything went up and down and just being, like, when I was at my lowest, being like, I know next week's gonna be good because this week was bad.

[Parvati Shallow]

That's very, very Zen Buddhist.

[George Severis]

I know. And then I lost it completely and now I'm just sort of, like, stressed all the time. What do you think about that?

[Parvati Shallow]

Because the clock is ticking. You've got a clock.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, there's even something about. You know, this podcast is mostly about New York versus la. And there's something about living in la, where I'm like, coming from New York. I was like, wait, this isn't right. I'm supposed to be suffering. I'm supposed to be suffering at all times.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Because that's how I deserve things, is from the suffering.

[Parvati Shallow]

It's the New York way.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Parvati Shallow]

That's what bonds people.

[Sam Taggart]

It's true. And here everyone's like, maybe you just are comfortable.

[Parvati Shallow]

You're like, actually, I never have to check the weather. It's always good.

[Sam Taggart]

It's crazy. And I'm happy and I'm still scared that I'm not suffering. I'm like, reptile.

[Parvati Shallow]

Also, LA is the land of magical thinking.

[George Severis]

That's true.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, everyone here is into crystals and astrology and tarot cards. I'm with my people.

[Sam Taggart]

Due to time.

[George Severis]

Yes. I think we should do our final.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, we should do our final.

[George Severis]

I mean, I obviously could talk for hours and it's killing me that I'm not there, but, George, it really, really.

[Sam Taggart]

Feels like you are here.

[George Severis]

I must say.

[Parvati Shallow]

Good. It does. Yeah. You haven't missed a beat.

[Sam Taggart]

I haven't missed a beat.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. I feel like you are the jumbotron.

[Sam Taggart]

You are.

[George Severis]

I am the Jumbotron.

[Sam Taggart]

And we are having an affair with you.

[Parvati Shallow]

Yeah. And you're here.

[George Severis]

That.

[Parvati Shallow]

You've caught us.

[Sam Taggart]

You've caught us in a. In a torrid little emotional moment.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God. Viva la Vida STARTS PLAYING CRESCENDO.

[Parvati Shallow]

Hey.

[Unknown]

It'S Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through August 12th. Get big savings on your favorite products for the little ones in the family and earn four times points to use for discounts on groceries or on gas. Shop in store or online for items like Earth's best yogurt smoothie, Gerber Pouches, Happy Baby Pouches, Huggies, Natural Baby Wipes, Pediasure Bottles, Earth's Best Crunchy Sticks and Gerber Y Yogurt Melts snacks and earn 4 times points. Offer ends August 12th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

I hear a lot from people that there are days where it's hard to read a single news story. Forget actually being caught up, but I host a podcast that can fix that. It's called the seven seven stories every weekday by 7:00am Eastern. And here. Here's the other thing. It's short. Less than 10 minutes, in fact. I'm Hannah Jewell. The Seven podcast will turn around your morning and get you caught up. Check it out and follow the seven wherever you listen to podcasts.

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[Parvati Shallow]

Honestly, Honestly.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Honestly, no one wants to think about hiv, but there are things that everyone can do to help prevent it. Things like prep. PREP stands for pre exposure prophylaxis, and it means routinely taking prescription medicine before you're exposed to HIV to help reduce your chances of getting it. Prep can be about 99% effective when taken as prescribed. It doesn't protect against other STIs, though, so be sure to use condoms and other healthy sex practices. Ask a healthcare provider about all your prevention Options and visit findoutaboutprep.com to learn more. Sponsored by Gilead.

[Parvati Shallow]

This feels like it's getting serious. Like very Barbara Walters.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Our final segment is. What have you done wrong, Daddy? Our final segment is called Shout Outs, and in this segment we pay homage to the grand straight tradition of the radio shout out. So we shout out anything that we are enjoying. People, places, things, ideas. We make them up on the spot. Yes, George and I will go first.

[George Severis]

I just thought of.

[Sam Taggart]

Do you want to go first?

[George Severis]

I can go first.

[Sam Taggart]

Great.

[George Severis]

What's up? Freaks and losers and survivor heads and traitor heads all around this great country of ours. I want to give a shout out to the film Unfaithful from, I want to say 2001. I maybe was inspired by. I maybe was inspired by the jumbotron of it all and wanted to watch the movie about being unfaithful and cheating. And when I tell you the entire plot of this movie is that someone was unfaithful. It was so refreshing. These days, everyone's polyamorous. Everyone has all these rules and is like keeping up with spreadsheets. This was just a married couple and one of them had an affair. Bring back simple movies like that. I have a really difficult time keeping up with these plots. I still haven't seen Mickey 17. I need a movie where that's just a couple and one of them has an affair. Diane Lane, very underrated actress. I don't know what is going on with her. I think she's like in the midway point between being prestige and being not prestige. So people don't know what to do with her. I think that's sexist. And I think they need to put her in the next Marvel movie stat. And Richard Gere legend. Obviously, I had the time of my life. And I think they should remake Unfaithful featuring the stars of today.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow, George, I think that's so beautiful. And I have to tell you, that movie was like a bit of a sexual awakening for me. Like watching that movie, I remember being.

[George Severis]

Because of the French guy.

[Sam Taggart]

I remember there being a really hot sex scene.

[George Severis]

There is.

[Sam Taggart]

And being like, whoa, what is this? I watched it at a sleepover and I was like, oh, yeah, Sleepovers will get you.

[Parvati Shallow]

Sleepovers will get you every time.

[George Severis]

I mean, it holds up.

[Parvati Shallow]

Everyone's having their sexual awakening in a closet at a sleepover.

[Sam Taggart]

It's literally true. Okay, I have a controversial one.

[George Severis]

Okay, go.

[Sam Taggart]

What's up, freakslisters and perverts around the globe? I want to give a huge shout out to get this. Male musicians, hear me out. As a gay guy, I am often stanning the girls. I am stan the girls left and right. And sometimes I forget that male musicians exist. This week I have been like, wait a minute, Men have been making music this whole time. So I've been sort of diving into the things that straight guys listen to, like, say, Alex G and McGee. And even I listen to the new Justin Bieber album, oh, boy. Which was produced heavily by McGee. And I am. Is that how you say his name?

[George Severis]

Whatever.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm just learning. I'm just learning. Learning about this culture and I just wanted to say that I feel so connected to straight male musicians right now. I don't even know if. Whatever. I don't know their sexualities, but I know that they are men. And I think I'm like, you know what? They have some talent as well. And I'm trying to expand my mind and not I will obviously stand the girls till the day I die, but I'm trying to open my mind more to male musicians once again. So shout out to the boys. Xoxo.

[George Severis]

Wow.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God, I am excited. I want to go to a music festival with you in your orange vest with your cutoff denim shorts.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, you know, I will be looking like a little country slut.

[Parvati Shallow]

Let's go see the beeps.

[Sam Taggart]

Let's do it. I'm all in. I'm actually. I am all in.

[George Severis]

Yeah, you should go. Yeah, you can tase him from the front row. Oh, my God.

[Parvati Shallow]

I'm gonna drop you to your knees.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God. I would love nothing more.

[Parvati Shallow]

Get ready.

[Sam Taggart]

So Parvati, if you have one. Go, go, go off.

[Parvati Shallow]

Oh, my God. Well, I was listening to you guys, like, how. What am I gonna say? But I think I got one. Okay. Hey, free exploits and homos. I want to shout out to my girl Pamela Anderson. Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[Parvati Shallow]

You know, she is not being given as much credit as she deserves. She's the original, the OG Hot playboy, barbed wire leg, like the bleach blonde hair, the big hair, the gorgeous, like, over plucked eyebrows. Bring them back. We miss them from the 90s. I over tweezed my eyebrows. They never grew back. Am I Pamela Anderson? No. Do I want to be? Yes. She's moved away. She went through court. She has a documentary out. It's good.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, it's good.

[Parvati Shallow]

I watched the Pamela Anderson documentary and I was floored. I really. I want to be this woman's best friend. She's a role model and icon on for women everywhere. She went on and did Chicago. She performed in a musical. The woman is a worker. She's devoted to her craft. She works hard. She overcame. Tommy Lee clearly has a way to overcome a narcissistic kind of psychopath. Like, she's. She's grown, she's evolved, she's a strong woman, and she's a role model for women everywhere. And I for one, think that she needs to be glorified. Maybe on Mount Rushmore, put her face.

[George Severis]

Wow.

[Parvati Shallow]

Carve it in granite, add her to the existing Canadian. But I think, well, that would be an amazing message.

[George Severis]

That would be an amazing message.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, that was a beautiful shout out.

[George Severis]

Can I tell you something? I went to the opening night of Chicago with Pam Anderson. With Matt Rogers. No.

[Sam Taggart]

How was it?

[George Severis]

It was so good.

[Parvati Shallow]

I was like, I'm so jealous.

[George Severis]

I actually. I mean, obviously everyone in our, like, age group loves Pam Anderson. And I think, like, it's so fun to watch her come into her own in this stage. But, you know, I didn't know if she was gonna be good at singing and dancing. Like, not everyone has every talent. But then you just remember she is someone who has done so many things and at each point works so hard to do them well. Like, she's sort of like, if the task is acting, she'll work at acting if the task is, like, being a reality star or being a model or whatever. And I just think with Chicago, she was like, I'm gonna. I'm gonna commit to this. And she was like a passable Broadway person.

[Parvati Shallow]

I mean, how do you be a passable Broadway person? Like, how? I think I would be peeing my pants.

[Sam Taggart]

I would flop so hard.

[Parvati Shallow]

Like, the reviews, I'd be like.

[George Severis]

Like.

[Sam Taggart]

The idea of doing anything on Broadway, I'm like, no, no, no, no. It's. I feel similarly about hunting. I'm like, so don't make me. Don't make me go up there.

[Parvati Shallow]

No, because, you know, you would do it, though. You would twinkle toes your way all.

[George Severis]

The way across that stage.

[Parvati Shallow]

Till I taste.

[George Severis]

Wow, Parvati, this has been absolutely electric. We are so much fun beyond honored. I'm going to read the full title of your book. Parvati's book is called Nice Girls Don't How I Burned it all down to Claim My Power by Parvati Shallow. It is available everywhere, and this has been a complete and utter delight.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. This was really amazing.

[Parvati Shallow]

I loved it. What a treat. Thank you. We'll stay in touch.

[Sam Taggart]

We'll stay in touch.

[George Severis]

No, Jonathan has my email. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, bye.

[Parvati Shallow]

Bye. Okay, bye. Go catch your fairy.

[Sam Taggart]

Podcast ends now.

[George Severis]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Sam Taggart]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[George Severis]

Now get back to work.

[Sam Taggart]

Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart.

[George Severis]

Podcasts, created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart, executive produced by Will.

[Sam Taggart]

Ferrell Hansani and Olivia Aguilar, co produced by Bay Wang, edited and engineered by.

[George Severis]

Adam Avalos Artwork by Michael Fails and.

[Sam Taggart]

Matt Grubb theme music by Be Every.

[Parvati Shallow]

Business has an ambition. PayPal open is the platform designed to help you grow into yours with business loans so you can expand and access to hundreds of millions of PayPal customers worldwide. And your customers can pay all the ways they want with PayPal, Venmo pay later and all major cards so you can focus on scaling up when it's time to get growing. There's one platform for owners small business PayPal open grow today at PayPalOpen.com loans subject to approval in available locations.

[Unknown]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway now through August 12th. Get great savings on your favorite self care items and earn four times points when you shop in store or online. Shop for items like Neutrogena Cleansing and Makeup removing towelettes, Dove Men 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, Dove Shampoo, Tracemay Shampoo Method Body Wash and Suave Body wash and earn 4 times points. Use these points for discounts on groceries or gas. Pass offer ends Aug. 12. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details. Nourishes like a smoothie and sizzles like a Smash burger. Easy to pick up and hard to put down. Made from plants and grills like beef.

[George Severis]

See, it's not.

[Unknown]

Or it's and and that's what I love about impossible. Just this weekend, a couple Impossible burgers.

[Sam Taggart]

Put them on the grill. Boom.

[Unknown]

Felt like I was having a cheat.

[Sam Taggart]

Meal without the feeling of of the.

[George Severis]

Guilt of a cheat meal.

[Unknown]

It's not just burgers. They got hot dogs, chicken.

[Sam Taggart]

Everything you need for your summer menu.

[Unknown]

Look for the impossible red packaging at.

[George Severis]

Your local grocery store.

[Parvati Shallow]

Today, when I listen to the news, here's what I want to know. Why this story matters, who's at the center of it, and how the reporters uncovered it. And as a journalist, I want to make sure that's what you get too. I'm Elahei Izadi, co host of the podcast Post Report Reports. Every weekday, my colleagues and I at the Washington Post give you the context you need on the biggest stories. Healthcare tariffs, artificial intelligence. We've got you covered. Look for Post reports wherever you listen to podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast.