"Rushing to Get Somewhere" w/ Ilana Glazer

Summary

Podcast Summary: StraightioLab – "Rushing to Get Somewhere" Featuring Ilana Glazer

Podcast Information:

• Title: StraightioLab
• Host/Author: Big Money Players Network and iHeartPodcasts
• Episode: "Rushing to Get Somewhere" featuring Ilana Glazer
• Release Date: January 7, 2025

Hosts: George Civeris and Sam Taggart
Guest: Ilana Glazer

---

Introduction

In the January 7, 2025 episode of StraightioLab, hosts George Civeris and Sam Taggart, alongside guest Ilana Glazer, delve into the intricate dynamics of "rushing" within straight culture. Through a blend of humor and intellectual discourse, the trio explores how the relentless pursuit of goals reflects broader societal norms and personal psychology.

Opening Anecdotes and Date Confusion ([03:44] - [04:32])

The episode kicks off with a humorous discussion about the confusion between dates, specifically December 6th and January 6th. Ilana Glazer shares her perspective on how certain dates carry unexpected significance, drawing parallels to historical events like the January 6th Capitol insurrection:

Ilana Glazer ([04:09]): "I was struck by the date... you could be listening now on, like, January 6th... Oh my God."

George and Sam reflect on their personal anecdotes related to posting content during tumultuous times, highlighting the unpredictability of public attention:

Sam Taggart ([04:46]): "I created a video about lazy rivers one hour before the insurrection. It was getting traction, then quickly got buried."

Personal and Medical Journeys ([09:51] - [12:13])

The conversation shifts to personal health journeys, with Sam Taggart sharing his relief after a year-long visit to a urologist:

Sam Taggart ([09:57]): "This morning I went to my urologist, and everything is okay."

George discusses his own proactive approach to health, mentioning upcoming stress tests and heart monitoring:

George Severis ([11:34]): "I'm having a weird little heart thing. Got this heart monitor and a follow-up stress test."

Ilana intertwines humor with the discussion, emphasizing the importance of having specialized medical professionals:

Ilana Glazer ([10:38]): "Honey, if you don't have a urologist, get a urologist."

The Move to LA and Cultural Differences ([08:03] - [09:21])

Sam Taggart reveals his one-year residency in Los Angeles, contrasting it with his 12-year identity tied to New York:

Sam Taggart ([08:24]): "I've been in LA for one year from New York. It has become a podcast about the differences between New York and LA."

Ilana comments on how Sam's move has shifted the podcast's focus, touching upon topics like the Paramount lot and his interactions with his new landlord:

Ilana Glazer ([08:29]): "Sam's real estate journeys in Los Angeles, his new lesbian landlord, etc."

George adds personal insights, discussing the challenges of adapting to LA's culture compared to New York's:

George Severis ([09:21]): "In LA, rushing looks like farting in your car and hating yourself. It's so fun."

Interactive Segment: Straight Shooters ([19:50] - [23:16])

The hosts introduce the segment Straight Shooters, a playful game where Ilana Glazer answers a series of nonsensical "this or that" questions to gauge her familiarity with straight culture. The segment is both humorous and revealing, showcasing Ilana's quick wit and the hosts' creative questioning.

Notable Exchanges:

• Sam: "Nosferatu on Christmas day Or, Oh, you've got to try my delicious cake."
• Ilana: "Everybody poops."

Their responses reveal underlying cultural observations wrapped in comedic delivery:

*Sam Taggart ([20:32]): "Childlike wonder or warlike plunder? Ugh."
Ilana Glazer ([21:20]): "Everybody poops."

The segment concludes with George awarding Ilana a high score of 922 doves, praising her performance:

Sam Taggart ([22:00]): "I thought that was a really amazing performance."

Deep Dive: Rushing to Get Somewhere ([33:09] - [48:10])

The core of the episode revolves around the concept of rushing—its implications, cultural significance, and ties to straight and queer identities.

Defining Rushing

George introduces the topic by describing rushing as prioritizing plans above all else, embodying a straight cultural norm:

George Severis ([33:38]): "Rushing and prioritizing your plans above others, it's very straight."

Personal Relationships with Rushing

Sam identifies as a "huge rusher," associating it with straight ideals of punctuality and adherence to societal expectations:

Sam Taggart ([34:26]): "I am a huge rusher, and in a way, I think it is straight because it is by the books."

Ilana contrasts this with her experience, highlighting moments of hesitation and anxiety linked to ADHD:

Ilana Glazer ([38:51]): "It's the exception where it's like, oh, God, here we go. Like, once again, I have to, in the next three hours, do five weeks of work."

Cultural Analysis

Ilana expands the discussion by examining how rushing reflects deeper fears and societal pressures, such as the fear of stagnation and death:

Ilana Glazer ([36:26]): "It's about a fear of stasis... you're running towards something and you're actually running from something."

George adds a layer of homoeroticism to the concept, suggesting that rushing masks deeper queer emotions and desires:

George Severis ([36:36]): "There's a deep-seated homoerotic nature where if I have a gay thought, I don't know what I'll do with it."

Straight vs. Queer Perspectives

Ilana posits that straight rushing is externally focused—prioritizing societal expectations—whereas queer perspectives involve internal struggles and existential calculations:

Ilana Glazer ([48:10]): "Queer experience requires you to constantly interpret and find the right way to exist in a world that's not made for you."

George and Sam debate whether rushing aligns more with straight or queer identities, ultimately suggesting that while it's predominantly straight, there are nuanced queer interpretations:

*Sam Taggart ([46:31]): "There's something to the rushing comes from, like, wanting to please others."
Alana Glazer ([48:10]): "The queerness is almost like the genuine, true new discovery."

Final Thoughts ([65:22] - [67:56])

As the discussion wraps up, the hosts reflect on the multifaceted nature of rushing, acknowledging its roots in both societal norms and personal psychology. They emphasize the importance of self-awareness and the balance between action and reflection.

Ilana and the hosts provide insightful conclusions on how rushing affects personal well-being and cultural dynamics, underscoring the episode's central theme:

Alana Glazer ([67:45]): "You're running towards something and you're actually running from something."

Shout Outs ([71:26] - [77:38])

In the final segment, Shout Outs, the hosts and Ilana give playful acknowledgments to various subjects:

• Ilana: Praises novellas and recommends "The Pilgrim Hawk" by Glenway Westcott.
• Sam: Compliments his dentist for a positive experience and endorses Katy Perry's "Cozy Little Christmas."
• George: Advocates for the benefits of starting the day with hot water for wellbeing.

Conclusion

Episode "Rushing to Get Somewhere" of StraightioLab masterfully blends humor with deep cultural analysis, offering listeners an engaging exploration of how the concept of rushing manifests within straight and queer contexts. Through personal anecdotes, interactive segments, and thoughtful discussions, George, Sam, and Ilana provide a comprehensive examination of societal pressures, personal growth, and the intricate dance between action and introspection.

Notable Quotes:

• Ilana Glazer ([04:09]): "I have to be honest with myself sometimes. I don't have the patience for it."
• Sam Taggart ([34:26]): "I am a huge rusher, and in a way, I think it is straight because it is by the books."
• Alana Glazer ([36:26]): "It's about a fear of stasis... you're running towards something and you're actually running from something."
• George Severis ([36:36]): "There's a deep-seated homoerotic nature where if I have a gay thought, I don't know what I'll do with it."

This episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in the nuanced intersections of culture, identity, and personal psychology.

Transcript

[Sam Taggart]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[George Severis]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[Sam Taggart]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in.

[Alana Glazer]

The last time you walked out that.

[Sam Taggart]

Door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird.

[George Severis]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Alana Glazer]

The wheels come off.

[George Severis]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Sam Taggart]

Have you watched the news lately?

[Alana Glazer]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Sam Taggart]

Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu Spectrum Business knows that small business owners put in the work.

[George Severis]

It's unlimited hours, unlimited effort and unlimited passion all to unlock the unlimited potential of your business. Get fast reliable Internet, advanced WI fi with security shield and an unlimited mobile.

[Sam Taggart]

Line, all only $49.99 a month. Learn how Spectrum Business can connect your business to unlimited [e-mail] business.

[George Severis]

It's your business made limitless.

[Sam Taggart]

That's Life Unlimited.

[George Severis]

That's Spectrum Business. Restrictions apply often not available in all areas.

[Alana Glazer]

At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more.

[Sam Taggart]

Than just a car or a house. It's the four wheels that get you.

[Alana Glazer]

Where you're going and the four walls that welcome you home.

[Sam Taggart]

When you combine auto and home insurance.

[Alana Glazer]

With Amica, we'll help protect it all. And the more you cover, the more you can save.

[Sam Taggart]

Amica Empathy is our best policy.

[George Severis]

When a person calls 988, they're connected to a crisis counselor.

[Alana Glazer]

Crisis is completely self defined. If you're wondering if you should call.

[George Severis]

You should probably call.

[Sam Taggart]

A caller can expect to talk about coping skills, talk about resources and ways.

[George Severis]

To move forward beyond the call.

[Sam Taggart]

They can call us, they can chat, they can text. And when they come out on the other side, they're feeling better. Call or text 988 or chat 988.

[Alana Glazer]

Lifeline.Org Odoo is business management made so.

[Sam Taggart]

Simple a kid could explain it. Sometimes business software can't talk to other programs. But Odoo, funny word, has every program.

[Alana Glazer]

From CRM to HR to accounting in one platform. It should cost a lot, but it doesn't.

[Sam Taggart]

So you should use Odoo because they save you money.

[Alana Glazer]

Odoo makes a lot of sense, but doesn't cost a lot of sense. Sign up [e-mail] that's o d o o.com Good job. Thanks Hootie Hoo. Special announcement alert. I repeat, Special announcement alert. If you Live in the city of San Francisco, California. We are doing a big jam packed Stradiolab live Show on Friday, January 17th at Cobbs Comedy Club as part of SF SketchFest. We cannot wait to see you guys. Tickets are available in our Instagram bios and on linktree./ Stradiolab. That's L I N K T R-E-E-Com Stradiolab. Tell your friends, spread the word. This is one of the biggest shows we've ever done. It's our first time doing Sketchfest. We cannot wait to see you. We can't wait to be in San Francisco in January and escape the frigid New York cold. And also, I guess the very warm Los Angeles weather for Sam. And we can't wait to see you January 17th at Cobbs Comedy Club, part of SF Sketchfest. See you there and enjoy the show.

[Sam Taggart]

Podcast starts now. What is up, everyone around the globe and welcome to stradia lab, the first one of 2025.

[Alana Glazer]

Oh my God, that's right. Happy New Year.

[Sam Taggart]

Happy New Year, George. Wow. God, I love when we pretend.

[Alana Glazer]

No, it's so amazing. And I wonder what the world. I wonder what the world looks like. And we have no idea right now.

[Sam Taggart]

We have no idea. We are in mid December. Not even early December.

[Alana Glazer]

No. I'll say it. It's December 6th.

[Sam Taggart]

It's December 6th.

[Alana Glazer]

I want to shout out to our dear friend Charlie Bardet who tweeted, it's always crazy when a date is the sixth of something because it's like, oh my God, that's like January 6th.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn.

[Alana Glazer]

That's which I was sort of feeling today. I was struck by the. I was struck by the date. But you know, you could be listening now on, on literal January 6th. Oh my God. I don't even know when this coming out, but that could be very well likely.

[Sam Taggart]

I think it comes out January 7, because January 6, I believe, is a Monday.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow. Starting the week off right.

[Sam Taggart]

Starting the week off right. Remember, remember January 6th. One thing that was funny about January 6th was I posted a comedy video that day that's amazing about how of.

[Alana Glazer]

You storming the Capitol.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it was, it was sort of off, off theme. It how I wanted to know at the exact point a lazy river could become lazy enough to where it became a pool. And I thought this, you know, this was something that had been rattling around in my brain for quite a bit and I, I said great, here's a perfect day to post this amazing video.

[Alana Glazer]

And this was while the insurrection was happening.

[Sam Taggart]

This was maybe one hour before.

[Alana Glazer]

Got it.

[Sam Taggart]

So I will say, you know, it was actually getting some good traction, then quickly got buried. And it was pretty funny to be checking the stats and being like, how's my video doing? And then being like, wait, what's going on?

[Alana Glazer]

I mean, one of the great sort of genres of, like, fun story, I guess, is the things people just did or just produced or just like, you know, worked on or whatever right before a huge world changing event. It's like people that, like, published nonfiction books right before Trump was elected, and they were like, so misdiagnosing the moment. It's like books that were like, how progress is natural. Like, and they were like, all right, this is it, y'all.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Or I mean, this is less similar, but still a funny thing. Like when Mariah Carey's glitter came out on 9 11.

[Alana Glazer]

On 9 11. Of course.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Oh, that's so. That's. That really is classic.

[Sam Taggart]

It's so classic. Because she couldn't have known. Yeah, how could she have known?

[Alana Glazer]

I mean, of course, the various comedy shows both in New York and LA on election night 2016. Classic. John early, like, popping out of, like popping on stage, doing a Britney impression while they're calling the results.

[Sam Taggart]

Do you ever think, like, whenever something, like, if I, like, book a date for something, I'm like, I try to, like, run through what could possibly go wrong on that date. Like, I'm like, I hope, like, a new plague doesn't drop before then. Or I hope, like, I really run through a couple of things, like the White House doesn't burn that day because then who will come to my show.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah. It's good that we can focus on what really matters.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, of course. Yourself. Of course.

[Alana Glazer]

Speaking of what really matters. You know, I'll say it. Hulu is getting into comedy specials.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. And someone needs to speak about and.

[Alana Glazer]

Someone needs to speak on it. And I actually can't think of anyone better than our guest today. We love her so much and we are both huge fans and we are so excited to have her on. And her name is Alana Glazer. Hi, Alana.

[George Severis]

Hello, George and Sam. Thanks for having me.

[Sam Taggart]

Hey, how's it going?

[George Severis]

It's going well. I'm happy to be talking to you.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow. You know, you did say before recording that you have a packed Friday. How does that feel emotionally?

[Alana Glazer]

How's it going?

[George Severis]

It feels I'm starting the release, you know, I'm starting to get some relief and release. And by ending the day with you guys, at least ending it professionally, which is what I consider this context, needless to say.

[Alana Glazer]

And we will be sending you a W too.

[George Severis]

And yeah, I don't know, this is all pretty lucky and lovely, so I'm happy. I'm contented.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, good.

[George Severis]

How are you guys today? On December 6th, not January 6th and.

[Sam Taggart]

Yet December 6th and yet it's so similar. I had a. I'm okay. I'm good. Actually, I had an interesting. I've been in LA for officially, like, one year from New York. I was in New York before, and it was a big part of my identity for 12 years.

[George Severis]

Oh, God. It's like. It is my whole identity.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Sam moving to LA is like the undercurrent of the. Of this last year of the podcast. It has, I would say, become officially a podcast that is about the differences between New York and language. It has become a podcast about Sam's various thoughts on the Paramount lot, on, you know, Sam's various real estate journeys in Los Angeles, his new lesbian landlord, etc. Etc.

[Sam Taggart]

And of course, my medical journeys.

[Alana Glazer]

And of course, Sam's medical journeys.

[Sam Taggart]

She's cool. She's an interesting person. You know, I said, cruel. Cruel.

[Alana Glazer]

Alana's like, wait, so she's a lesbian? Is she cruel?

[George Severis]

I was. I was just hoping for, like, a character caricature of, like, you'd think she was cool. She's like a gay lady, but she's like the hardest, toughest landlord. You just came from New York, you know, but here in la, it's actually harder than you think kind of thing.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I think she. She more like gets annoyed when we're, like, impersonal. She's like, you're not in New York anymore. You gotta say hello. And I'm like, no, I don't like.

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Isn't it interesting how friendliness can be oppressive? This is something. This is one of the great, like, you know, it's like that thing, what people are like, what is it like, kind but nice or like, kind but not nice, or nice but not kind? Or like how people in the Midwest are so, so nice. But then it all is coming from such a place of passive aggression.

[George Severis]

Yes, yes. Yeah. And also medical journey. Can I just check on that? Are you okay?

[Sam Taggart]

Actually, yeah. So this is an amazing day because part of my day was that this morning I went to my urologist that I've been on a journey with over the last year, and everything is a. Okay.

[Alana Glazer]

Oh, my God.

[George Severis]

So happy to hear that.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. So it's truly been, like, one year of all of this. And now I'm.

[George Severis]

I'm a pelvic floor girly. I'm about obs, urogynes, urologists. And I'm happy to hear that you and your. You. I'm happy to hear that you and your urologist have found a place of peace.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, we're at a place of peace. And I do think. I want to say, I'm actually so happy to have a urologist as, like a. As an accessory.

[Alana Glazer]

Honey, if you don't have a urologist, get a urologist.

[Sam Taggart]

When my urologist calls, I can't help but scream, my urologist is calling.

[George Severis]

Yeah, it's like the new my agent is calling.

[Alana Glazer]

Yes, you're Jenna Maroney saying your fecalis is poisoning your. What is it? Facialist or whatever.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I feel so bad for people that don't have urologists. I mean, you're not living Kabbalahist.

[Alana Glazer]

Sorry, Funnier. My fecalus is poisoning my Kabbalahist. I mean, come on, who is doing writing like that anymore?

[George Severis]

Very few. Very few to none.

[Alana Glazer]

I guess it hadn't occurred to me, Sam, that another journey that we've had since we started this podcast. In the beginning, I was having minor butt surgery, and then we moved to you having sort of major butt surgery.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

So now it's. The ball is back to me again, and we'll see how it goes over here.

[Sam Taggart]

I can't wait to see what you come up with.

[Alana Glazer]

I'm excited for a new medical issue. I think it's coming.

[George Severis]

How old are you guys?

[Alana Glazer]

Wow, awesome question, Alana.

[George Severis]

I'm 37. I'll offer mine first.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm 35.

[Alana Glazer]

And I'm 33. I'm the baby.

[George Severis]

Okay, you little baby. So I'm like really getting into my health journey and doing all my prophylactic medical appointments. Like, I'm having like a weird little heart thing. And so I got this like, heart monitor and I was like, oh, my God, my heart monitor. And then now I have like the follow up appointment where I'm gonna do like the stress test and run and stuff. And it's just like. It's exciting.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. No, that's awesome.

[Alana Glazer]

Have you always been Dr. Forward?

[George Severis]

No, no, no, no.

[Alana Glazer]

Actually, this is not to immediately go gay versus straight, but this is something I'm curious about. Like, I think this could be argued both ways. Like, is it more gay or straight to be. To have hypochondriac tendencies and to not. Not that I'm saying that's what you have, obviously, but to have to be, like, into preventative care in this, like, obsessive way.

[Sam Taggart]

I would say gay. I. I would.

[Alana Glazer]

I sort of think so, too.

[George Severis]

Fully. Fully gay. I think it's because, like, straight guys, like, they're like, I don't know how to care for myself.

[Alana Glazer]

And I think, like, the arm will be off their socket, and it'll be hanging off their body, and they'll just be like, anyway, I have to go to the gym.

[George Severis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

There's also, like, literal statistics of, like, when straight men get married, they live longer because their wives make them go to the doctor.

[Alana Glazer]

Well, this is a whole other issue of, like, the. The most dangerous period in a man's life is between mommy and wife, because they could die at any moment because they have no one.

[George Severis]

Oh, it's true. And women who are married to men live shorter because.

[Alana Glazer]

Well, because we have so much responsibility psychologically. They're being poisoned.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn. No, Alana, I'm kind of similar right now. I'm like, I went to the dentist for the first time in eight years.

[George Severis]

Oh, my God. And the dentist now is, like, for also, like, cancer screenings for your, like, throat and tongue and gums and shit. It's not just. We're not talking teeth cleanings anymore, babe. It's, like, about cancer.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow. I had no idea.

[Alana Glazer]

The dentist. It's not just for your teeth anymore.

[George Severis]

Yeah. You want them looking down there. You know what I mean? Like, the up there. Down there, there is what you want from your dentist.

[Alana Glazer]

Do you go to one of those trendy dentists, Alana, that's like.

[George Severis]

Oh, no, no, no. I go to, like, a, like, far T office that. My husband was, like, obsessed with this doctor, actually, this dentist, because she has such gentle hands, and she really does. She literally was a ballerina and then became a dentist. And, like, it's almost like her fingertips are dancing along my gums.

[Alana Glazer]

One of the most amazing.

[Sam Taggart]

Beautiful story.

[Alana Glazer]

So here's the thing with dancers.

[George Severis]

Thank you, Sam.

[Alana Glazer]

Dancers. It's like, either you have a tragic. Either it's Black Swan, or you channel all that discipline into becoming the best dentist in Brooklyn. And it's actually, you know what else is like that being a child star. Either you crash and burn or you become the most. I won't name any names, but I worked with a former child star this past year. The most professional, the most. Making eye contact with you. Knows exactly how to act. I was shocked. And then, of course, the other side of it is a little more Graham.

[George Severis]

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Sam Taggart]

For sure. Yeah. It can go either way, I mean, I do think the credit that it is to have been a dancer, like, on any profession, if someone's like. And they were a dancer, I'm immediately. I'm like, I trust you with whatever.

[Alana Glazer]

To me, I trust that more than if someone is. I say this with no disrespect to our veterans and our men and women in uniform, but sometimes when people brag about being a vet, I'm like, okay, you're. You know what you're doing here. Show me. Do a pirouette and then we'll talk.

[Sam Taggart]

No, I, I obviously, I think it's one of the weird. I think it's honestly a generational difference when, like, older people love to be like. And. And he was in the military and.

[Alana Glazer]

Younger people love to be like. And she was a dancer.

[George Severis]

Yeah, that's right. She was a child star dancer. She was a child star dancer.

[Sam Taggart]

So I really trust her with my root canal.

[George Severis]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And there's also, like, systemic shit on, like, the military that you're like, which side of this do you fall on.

[Alana Glazer]

Where you're like, you literally can't ask any questions? Yeah, right.

[George Severis]

Yeah. It's scary, but, like, dance, it's like, you're fucking incredible. The only systemic shit with dance is like, if you were sort of, you know, a Russian child sort of jumped off.

[Alana Glazer]

But it's not your fault.

[George Severis]

No, absolutely not. That's right.

[Alana Glazer]

You haven't killed anyone. I mean, obviously, if. So listen, if someone tells you they're a dancing coach, I'm going to start asking questions, I'm going to start doing some boogering. But if you are a dancer, you are traumatized, and it's on you to turn that trauma to a dental practice.

[George Severis]

Yes, that's right.

[Sam Taggart]

I was about to say the dumbest thing. I was like, God, it must be like. It's so brave to, like, pivot from being a dancer to being a dentist. As if you don't, like, just not have a choice at all.

[George Severis]

That's right.

[Sam Taggart]

You stop being a dancer at 20 years old.

[George Severis]

That's right. That's right.

[Sam Taggart]

They put you out to pasture. You have to figure out something else.

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Should we jump into our first segment, Sam?

[Sam Taggart]

Whoa.

[George Severis]

Sure.

[Alana Glazer]

Is that crazy? Am I being so rushed?

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, it's a little faster than normal, but I think that could be great. And free up some time in the future.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay. Stunning.

[Sam Taggart]

Every day, our world gets a little.

[Alana Glazer]

More connected, but a little further apart.

[Sam Taggart]

But then there are moments that remind.

[Alana Glazer]

Us to be more human. Thank you for calling Ameca insurance. Hey, I was just in an accident. Don't worry. We'll get you taken care of.

[Sam Taggart]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking.

[Alana Glazer]

It's human.

[Sam Taggart]

Ameca empathy is our best policy. Oh, such a clutch off season pickup, Dave. I know, right? I was worried we'd bring back the same team. Oh, no.

[Alana Glazer]

I meant those Blackout motorized shades. MVP of the room.

[Sam Taggart]

Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds.

[Alana Glazer]

Hard to install? No, it's easy. Even you could do it. Nice. I installed these and then got some from my mom too. You fly across the country to do the install? Nope.

[Sam Taggart]

Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install.

[Alana Glazer]

Look at you. Hall of fame, son.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, I just picked the winning team.

[Alana Glazer]

They're the number one online retailer of.

[Sam Taggart]

Custom window coverings in the world.

[George Severis]

Oh.

[Sam Taggart]

Blinds.com is the goat.

[George Severis]

The goat. Shop blinds.com right now and get up to 40% off select styles plus a free professional measure and a 100% satisfaction guarantee. Save up to [e-mail] blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply. When a person calls 988, they're connected to a crisis counselor.

[Alana Glazer]

Crisis is completely self def. If you're wondering if you should call, you should probably call.

[Sam Taggart]

A caller can expect to talk about.

[George Severis]

Coping skills, talk about resources and ways to move forward beyond the call.

[Sam Taggart]

They can call us, they can chat, they can text. And when they come out on the other side, they're feeling better. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet greenlight, the debit card and money app for families with greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending. With real time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save and spend wisely. And parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money. With guardrails in place. Try greenlight risk free [e-mail] iheart you ever get the feeling the city walls closing in the concrete jungle suffocating your soul? You crave w open spaces, the chance to connect with nature, maybe chase some elk, fish a private stream. Well, listen up.

[Alana Glazer]

There's a whole world out there.

[Sam Taggart]

And finding your own piece of it just got easier. Head over to land.com they've got ranches, forest, mountains, you name it. Search by acreage, location, the kind of hunting or fishing you dream of. Land.com. it's where the adventure begins.

[Alana Glazer]

So, Alana, our first segment is called Straight Shooters. And in this segment we gauge your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture by asking you a series of completely nonsensical questions where you have to choose one thing or another thing. Think of it like a Rorschach test. Don't think about it too hard. The one rule is you cannot ask any follow up questions about how the game works or we will be so mad at you.

[George Severis]

I hate when people are mad at me.

[Alana Glazer]

That we will take back every nice thing. We're gonna send you to the dentist and we're gonna tell her, do whatever you want to this. To this birthday.

[Sam Taggart]

And this is gonna be a former military dentist, by the way, honestly.

[George Severis]

Great. Because I need a screening and I need to know if I have cancer. Yeah, okay. Okay. Well then yikes are for dancers, but okay, Sam, go.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay. Alana. Nosferatu on Christmas day Or. Oh, you've got to try my delicious cake.

[George Severis]

Oh, you've got to try my delicious cake.

[Alana Glazer]

Everybody hurts or everybody poops.

[George Severis]

Everybody poops.

[Sam Taggart]

Childlike wonder or warlike plunder? Ugh.

[George Severis]

Childlike wonder.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay, A bouquet of roses or a ballet with poses?

[George Severis]

A bouquet of roses.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, okay. Being assassinated or getting ass as a form of payment.

[George Severis]

Oh, getting ass as a form of payment.

[Alana Glazer]

Ass as a form of payment is literally like a Broad City episode if I've ever heard one.

[George Severis]

Yes. Yes.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay. Alanna. She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly. Or I got the ick when he suggested bowling.

[George Severis]

She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay, if you care to find me, look to the western sky. Or if you're feeling hungry, I'll cook up a shepherd's pie.

[George Severis]

Oh, if you're feeling hungry, I'll cook up a shepherd's pie.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay. Broad City or applaud. This is witty.

[George Severis]

Broad City.

[Sam Taggart]

Woo. Wow. Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

I have to say, Sam, yours were so good today.

[Sam Taggart]

No, yours were to die for.

[Alana Glazer]

George, you really. I was like, he. He sat down, took out the notes app and said, today we're going to make history. Okay, we have to rank Alana on a scale of 0 to 1000 doves. I have to say, I think that was a really great performance.

[Sam Taggart]

I thought that was a really amazing performance.

[Alana Glazer]

It was giving generational talent. I think she immediately understood what was being asked.

[Sam Taggart]

There was a point of View. There was a perspective.

[Alana Glazer]

I like that. Sometimes Alanna went for the more obviously funny choice, and sometimes it was like, no, I'm gonna pick a bouquet of roses.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

I don't care that you made a little joke with a ballet of poses. This is about what I want.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Alanna wasn't gonna get pushed around by two random gay guys.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah. She's like, who are these random gay guys? And why are they making rhymes that barely work? This is my show. I'm here to promote my Hulu special. And I don't care about everybody hurts or everybody poops.

[Sam Taggart]

So I'm gonna go ahead and say 922 doves.

[Alana Glazer]

I agree.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

922. Thank you, boys.

[Sam Taggart]

You know, where there was room for improvement, of course, is there was a. There was a. You know, there was so much confidence there that I was like, where's the vulnerability?

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah. Where's the vulnerability? You know? And, Alana, you're coming in with a turtleneck. Businesswoman.

[Sam Taggart]

Business hours.

[Alana Glazer]

The earrings are very courtroom.

[George Severis]

Oh, my goodness. Wow. Okay. Okay. The pressure's on. Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

But it's a 9. 22, which is actually one of the highest scores we've had in a very long time.

[George Severis]

Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. We've had.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Okay. I didn't even quite know it was a performance. You know what I mean? I thought it was more like. It was almost like I felt like a math. You know what I mean? I was like, what? I wasn't quite sure how it was gonna feel, but then I feel like I found a groove. I was enchanted by the options and by the word smithiness.

[Alana Glazer]

I think it's about finding the right balance between having a rational mathematical approach and then having a sense of play about it. And I think you actually. You really did a great job at that.

[George Severis]

Oh, thank you.

[Alana Glazer]

You were kind of a former dancer who then gets into hip hop dance. Wow, that was a spirit. You can tell you're classically trained, but you're being a little Julia Stiles and save the last dance.

[George Severis]

You're doing a little nice. Yeah, that resonates with me. Thank you.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Huh. Well, should we get into the topic?

[Alana Glazer]

Wait, I have a question. Speaking of. Save the last dance. Okay. I have a question for you, Alana. If you could resurrect any property, any media property, film or television property, what would it be?

[George Severis]

You know what I've been thinking about? I wonder if you guys know this. I've been thinking a lot about you. Ever read Jeremy Thatcher Dragon Catcher?

[Sam Taggart]

No.

[Alana Glazer]

No.

[George Severis]

It was this book as A child that my brother Elliot read. And then I read after him and it was like, about this boy's imaginary dragon, which is now a band, right?

[Alana Glazer]

Oh, yeah.

[George Severis]

Imagine Dragons, which is a very, like, straight band. Or like. Like straight. You know, sort of like presenting or something. Or we all have to pretend it's straight presenting, but it's, like, very gay seeming because we're, like, sitting and imagining dragons. But this book I'm like, I've actually been thinking about because it was like. It touched me at a point. I was like, maybe seven or eight. And it's like the imaginary dragon. It's almost like. I kind of remember. It was almost like his crutch or something. And then when he doesn't need it anymore, it, like, goes away. And I sobbed. It was like, kind of the first piece of art that I wept at. So I've been thinking about that property lately.

[Sam Taggart]

Huh. Huh. I. I think sometimes it's funny, the books you read as a kid, because they're obviously, like, not amazing, but when they hit right, you're, like, fully transformed, forever changed.

[George Severis]

Changed.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, it's weird.

[Alana Glazer]

I would say, like, sideways story. What is it? Sideways stories from Wayside School. Like, that was that Louis Sakar. Louis Sakar. That literally formed my sense of humor. And then I hate to say it because I would say I might have even been too old reading these, but honestly, Captain Underpants, I was like, in heaven.

[George Severis]

Well, you're like a octo generation. You're like an eighth generation younger than me. So I miss kept underpants.

[Alana Glazer]

I would say I was like, at the tippy at the end of that, me being able to read. But also, it's complicated because this is a long story, but, you know, I moved to America when I was young and I was behind.

[George Severis]

From where?

[Alana Glazer]

From Greece. And so I was behind on my reading level. I distinctly remember my first year in America, which was second grade. I would watch Blue's Clues, and then everyone else would be like, that's like. We're all like, that's lame. Like, I would. I would be, like, excited when I would see Blue's Clues merch, like, sold in the supermarket or whatever. And then everyone else would be like, who is this loser that is watching Blue's Clues?

[George Severis]

I feel you, though. Like, I was, like, so depressed as a teenager that I would watch Winnie the Pooh and Blue's Clues, like, to feel better. So I was watching Blue's Clues at the same time that you were, let's say, in sixth grade. But, like, inappropriately, like, I didn't need to learn English. I was just super sad.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I also was doing more childish things than I should have. Like, I would play. I played Yu Gi oh cards when I was like, far too old, you know, not in a way that was like, oh, I'm like a collector of things. And this is just one of the many things it was like, I was just like, I like Yu Gi oh. And I'm fully a junior in high school.

[George Severis]

Not to control the situation. I just am making a connection that it's like children are rushed to grow up in a way that's super sad. Like, it's so sad that we're. We feel embarrassed by being childlike. When you are a child, you're a child at 18. Also, your brain stops growing finally at 25. I'm like, you're a kid until you're like 24. Like a kid. You know what I mean? You can't really be responsible for yourself in this volatile world until you're like 25.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

No.

[Alana Glazer]

The politics of growing up specifically in America are so fascinating because on the one hand, everyone's in a rush to grow up when they're teenagers. And then on the other hand, suddenly people are in their 30s and 40s and being Disney adults and going to Marvel movies and all this stuff. It's almost like if we just allowed people to be children when they were children, they would not basically live their entire adult life, in a sense, in a state of nostalgia for their lost childhood.

[George Severis]

100%. 100%? Totally.

[Sam Taggart]

That's like one of the darkest things you've ever said, George. It's so true. It's really quite hurtful.

[Alana Glazer]

You know, I just, I come in with my foreign eye and I can just diagnose American in a way that few people can sometimes.

[Sam Taggart]

I hate that.

[George Severis]

Wait, Sam, do you feel personally attacked by that?

[Sam Taggart]

No, because I, I think where I feel maybe personally attacked is like, but this is complicated. In our dynamic, George always is the grownup. George has always wanted to be 45, even when he was 25.

[George Severis]

Sure, sure.

[Sam Taggart]

And so I'm always like, trying to push him to be a child again, but in like. But not a child. I'm just pushing him to be 25. Like, he wants to grow up and.

[Alana Glazer]

I'm always, I want to be a college professor.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. He already wants, like, you know, his college age child to be like, asking him for money. And he's like, no, what's wrong with you? And I'm always like, george, can we just go back? Like, can we, like, live in a warehouse and, like, start a band and, like.

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Like, what's interesting about this dynamic, though, is that then actually Sam is, for example, more responsible with money, more of a planner and less of a procrastinator. Like, Sam actually has adult qualities that I lack. It's almost like I fetishize adulthood, but.

[George Severis]

I can't because it's almost like he's caring for that child as a grownup. You know what I mean? Like, he's caring for his inner child.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow, the psychoanalysis is jumping out.

[George Severis]

Yes. Thank you. Thank you.

[Sam Taggart]

Alana, do you try to grow up. Do you want him. Do you try to grow up fast or you try to stay young forever?

[George Severis]

No, because I was, like, very. I was like very elderly, millennial, like, very young. Me and my best friends growing up were. And we were, like, so uncomfortable and the boys were gay and we were all like, when we just get to the city, everything will be okay. And when we get out of here, like, we won't be, you know, among. It was very, like, Jersey Shore energy. A lot of people in Jersey Shore are actually from Long Island. Like, that's where we grew up and with whom we grew up. But, like, honestly, like, I also love Long island and I love the Long island spirit outside of conservative politics or whatever. The big hearted, enthusiastic, you know, kind of tactless in a way that I love spirit. So. And then also, like, with comedy, like, I just kind of knew that I wanted to do this so young and, like, planned and schemed and went for it so young that I now am, like, really have been like, very focused on playfulness, pleasure and joy. Because the work shit, I know how to do. I know how to work hard, plan, shit, execute. So I really love. That's why I'm like, kind of valuing what your natural dispositions is, Sam, as like, actually, like the. No offense, George, but the more advanced thing that, like, I aspire to be, you know, because I'm like, damn, that's a freedom. That's a comfort with yourself. That's like both a gift and a practice hope.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah, I love that. And also I think related to this is what you're saying, Alana, where when you grow up wanting to be some sort of, like a writer of any sort, whether it's comedy or otherwise, if you focus on that, then you actually don't have the experiences necessary to have something to write about. So it's almost. So you like.

[George Severis]

Exactly, exactly.

[Alana Glazer]

Blow your load early because you're like, oh, look, I Can form a sentence, I can write a joke, whatever. And then you get to be 27 or something, and you realize, oh, God, now I have to go back and reverse engineer a life that I can then write about because I've sort of run out of things.

[George Severis]

Yep. And it's like. It's a false. It's not true that you've lost out on the opportunity to be playful and new and continually become. But I've actually found that mourning the loss of that time is the first step in the first step toward actually being present now and, like, just, like, being and living now. But it's, like, hard to be, like, damn, I really missed out.

[Alana Glazer]

Mm. Well, speaking of missing out, I would love to know what your straight topic is today and what you think is straight about it.

[George Severis]

So my straight topic, I really. I'm gonna admit here, like, speaking of child star energy, child dancer, like, recruited Russian child dancer energy. And the performance that I like wasn't positive, was a performance until it was affirmed after of the Rorschach test earlier. I really was desperate to tickle you both with this topic, and I hope I've achieved that with the straight topic of rushing.

[Alana Glazer]

Perfect.

[George Severis]

I was asked rushing, like a sorority? No, I'm talking about people in a hurry to get somewhere.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah, you're talking woman holding tote bag, coffee change, sneakers because she's wearing heels and needs to change. She is holding six things, and she needs to get to the opening.

[George Severis]

You know, she could be holding all those things but not rushing, and it would be chill. Yeah, but if she's rushing and she's prioritizing her plans above others, it's very straight. Yeah. Is that good?

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[George Severis]

Okay, great.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay. And goodbye.

[Sam Taggart]

No, no.

[George Severis]

Well, I thought you were like, tell me what you think is straight about it. But I'm like, we'll discuss it, or you tell me.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, no, now we discuss.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay. Sam, what is your relationship with rushing?

[Sam Taggart]

Well, this is. I'm so glad you asked, George. I am a huge rusher, and in a way, I think it is straight because it is like, it's by the books. You're like, I need to be on time. I need to do what's right. Like, I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and I'm on time for my business meeting.

[George Severis]

Right, right, right. There's a scripted nature to it.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. It's like, my parents are inherently good people, and this is like, there's something unquestioning about it where you're like, no, being on time is the most important Thing, but I do do it a lot, and especially in New York where I've talked about this. It's more glamorous to be rushing. Like, I really enjoyed the, you know, eating a piece of pizza while running down the street to, like, get to the show on time.

[George Severis]

Like, you know, in la, you're like, farting in your car is what rushing looks like. Like just stinking up your car and hating yourself is rushing in la. It's so fun.

[Sam Taggart]

Rushing in LA sucks. You are just like, you're just like honking, stuck. You're just like stuck and honking and just being like listening to a podcast angrily. Like, it's like, this sucks. And you have no, there's not even like, oh, I can run at least. Like, there's no run. You just. You'd be causing, you know, million dollars in damages if you decided to run in your car.

[Alana Glazer]

It's interesting. Marie Fossen's topic was being on time. And I think that has, like, its own. That has its own quality of being straight. But I think rushing is, that's so funny. Related. Yeah, exactly. I think rushing is related, but different in that it is a larger ethos. Like, you don't have to be running late to be rushing. It's about how you, how you choose to live your life. And it almost like is about a fear of. A fear of stasis. Like, it's like you have to constantly be on the way somewhere. You have to constantly be going to the other thing and ultimately a fear of death. Because it's like, ooh, yes, you are running from something. You think you're running towards something and you're actually running from something.

[George Severis]

And there is like a, like a deep seated homoerotic nature about it where it's like, if I sit for a moment and have a gay thought, I don't know what I'll do with it. And if I die, conversely, die without, you know, having sex. You know what I mean? Having queer sex, I'm going to, like, need to elevate in the next life because I didn't do the thing that I wanted to do this time. And also Marie's thing, like, Marie's thing is like, about. She's like, I'm probably. If you're reading this, I'm probably 45 minutes late. It's like this value system that we place on being on time, whereas rushing is like, yeah, it's this, like, mode, I guess. And the thing that got me to rushing was thinking about waiting around. And at first, like, I kind of confused. The assignment where I was, like, waiting around as, like, really queer because you're, like, kind of, like, horny, like, checking out, like, anybody. You know what I mean? And, like, seeing what comes to you and being comfortable with it. And rushing is straight in that way. Tunnel vision on the script, as you're saying it, Sam. By the book, this scripted nature of, like, well, I check off all the things that make me a good straight guy or whatever.

[Alana Glazer]

And it's, like, a lack of deep contemplation and thought because it's about action rather than internal work. Like, you are. You're getting from point A to point B. If you pass on the way from point A to point B, a human rights violation, you won't notice it. You know what I mean? That's right. Your only goal is getting to point B. You are obsessed. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

George, what's your relationship with rushing?

[Alana Glazer]

I think. Well, I have this sort of classic ADHD thing of it's either now or not now. This is the thing that they say about ADHD where it's like, this is why people procrastinate. This is why people realize on the day of the deadline that they haven't started. So I would say what my sort of ethos is, is, like, up until the last minute, I'm actually pretty calm. And then there's this, like, insane period of, let's say, rushing, let's say anxiety. But it's not a larger ethos that I live my life with. It's like the exception where it's like, oh, God, here we go. Like, once again, I have to, in the next three hours, do five weeks of work.

[Sam Taggart]

I love. I love how you work. I do feel.

[Alana Glazer]

So in that sense, I'm sort of bi.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. No, that's cool. I think I. I'm. This is a. Okay. Maybe I'm becoming more and more. Therapy pilled again, George. Yeah, therapy pilled. Therapy pilled, as in believing in it and just sort of liking it.

[George Severis]

Oh, yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

So actually, can I just very quickly say, so Sam and I have been semi ironically pushing back against the ubiquity of therapy. And I actually think. And Sam, let me know if you agree. I'm like, 2025. We are all back in on therapy.

[Sam Taggart]

I think 2025 is therapy year.

[Alana Glazer]

I'm getting a new therapist. It is. It is no longer. Therapy is no longer like, oh, this thing that is sort of lame to talk about because it's such a cliche to be like, everyone should be in therapy. You are going back to actually yeah. Everyone should be in therapy.

[George Severis]

Yep.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Cause I think it felt kind of fun to be, like, reckless with my feelings and be like, I wonder where this will end up. Like, I'm curious, like, if I'm just shaken up for a bit, like, where it'll land. And now I'm sort of like, hold on, that's enough shaking for now.

[Alana Glazer]

It's time to get serious.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. But that being said, I'm like, I keep doing, you know, fake therapy on myself, and I. When I'm in a rush, I get, like, so, like, angry and, like, irritable and in this way that is, like, a completely different person. It's not chill at all. And I was like. I'm like. I remember being. I like, definitely get this from, like, being late to school. Like, me and my sister would go to, like, one year, one grade apart, so we would, like, go to school together all the time. And so it would be like. Like, if she was running late and I was on time, I'd be so angry and vice versa if, like, like, we would just, like, kind of go at it and be like, like, insufferable if we were ever late. Yeah. And so I'm like, I bring that into my adulthood and I never let go of it. I think.

[Alana Glazer]

Interesting. Would you say to sort of go back to the therapy question, that CBT is rushing and psychoanalysis is sitting with it? Like, CBT is literally, like, action based. Right. Like, and I. And that's why I think CBT is a straighter form of therapy than psychoanalysis. Like, psychoanalysis. You are digging shit, bitch.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes.

[George Severis]

Dang. Because, like, the thing about your whole paradigm, your whole framework with this podcast is like, lol. But then it's, like, so fucking real.

[Alana Glazer]

That's the hope we don't always get there.

[Sam Taggart]

We don't always get there.

[George Severis]

That's right. That's right. And it's like, if I can quantify it and do the.

[Alana Glazer]

Exactly, Exactly.

[George Severis]

Then maybe I'll get there. And it's like, nah, nah.

[Alana Glazer]

No, it's like, not dealing with. It's you being, like, filling out a form the entire time. You're bleeding, but you have no idea. But you're like, I filled out the form. Here you go. I filled out the form. You're bleeding from your eyes. You're going to the front desk. You're saying, here, is this enough? They're like, do you need to go to the hospital? You're like, I filled out the form.

[George Severis]

Yeah, right. For some reason, the farting in your car is Coming back up for me, that's more psychoanalysis where you have to sit with your shit and be like.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay, okay, I know, it's funny. In some ways LA is more psychoanalysis than New York is, ironically, because New York is so psychoanalysis and Upper west side. But actually la, because you're forced to sit with it, is more psychoanalysis in New York. You're like, well, if I don't, you know, if I don't cross the street now, I'm gonna be killed.

[George Severis]

Right. And in la you're like, the whole purpose of the city is to create like a para. A para. Realistic relationship of yourself with yourself. So it's like you have to like, kind of have to. You're like, what is my brand? And then you have to confront like what your fucking brand is or something.

[Alana Glazer]

Everyone wakes up every day, they take out a little life size puppet of themselves and they go to the life size puppet theater and put on a show and everyone just has their puppet and they're like, look, my performance is really good today.

[George Severis]

Yeah, it's like, that's like. It's like kind of voodoo doll vibes or something. Yeah, they're like staging it and like crystal putting crystals in its bed.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Everything is one step removed from real life.

[Sam Taggart]

I think of LA mostly as a series of gates. I am like, like in New York, I see just possibility. I can go anywhere I want, whenever I want. In la, everything is gated. Like to leave my house, I have to open a gate and I have to open another gate and then I have to get into a car, which is a gate, and then I have to go on a highway, which is a gate.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow, you're being so Caroline Polachek. You open the door to another door to another door.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, pretty much.

[George Severis]

I totally know that.

[Alana Glazer]

Those are lyrics to a random song. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

To another door to another door she.

[Alana Glazer]

Says, you open the door to another door to another door. Which is kind of one of the most true things that has ever been spoken.

[George Severis]

It's not even really coming up in my. Oh, apologize. There it is. It's a Google.

[Alana Glazer]

You're making a playlist.

[George Severis]

She's 39. Okay. I love her.

[Sam Taggart]

No, she's awesome.

[Alana Glazer]

Oh, yeah. She's been around forever.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Remember the band Chairlift?

[George Severis]

Nope.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, she was in it.

[George Severis]

She was gorgeous.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

She's gorgeous.

[Alana Glazer]

Beautiful, fashionable, chic chic. Kind of iconically like. I don't want to say airheaded because that's offensive, but there's something very like airy about her intellect. Like, she'll be sort of.

[George Severis]

How about her intellect? Damn. Oh, you really do mean it.

[Alana Glazer]

She's so. She's a great, you know, she'll have, like, great lyrics, she'll have great music. And then one time she posted something that was along the lines of like, stop comparing me to Kate Bush. I'm my own person. But, like, no one was comparing her to Kate Bush.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So there's tough, you know, it's tough.

[Alana Glazer]

To be an alt pop musician. And all of us, all of us are lucky that that's not our life.

[George Severis]

Yeah, we are lucky.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I mean, okay, I have. I want to go back to rushing.

[Alana Glazer]

Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, emotionally. Do you guys feel guilt when, like, I think there's. There is something to the rushing comes from, like, wanting to please others or something.

[George Severis]

Ooh.

[Sam Taggart]

And I feel that pretty hard. And I'm like, do you. Do you both feel that or no?

[George Severis]

Mm.

[Alana Glazer]

I would say it's interesting because you think rushing, you think that in rushing you're pleasing others. And of course you don't want to be, you know, five hours late. But I actually often think the people in my life that are the most in your face, you know, almost like performatively anxious, always out of breath. It actually creates a bad vibe, you know, like you actually are more. It's much more. It's nicer towards other people if you have a more calming presence. Even if you do happen to be 10 minutes late, like the sort of classic kind of like New York figure of the person who's like, you know, slamming the door in. She's, you know, her dog, she's like carrying her dog and the dog is like, you know, mid poop. She's like getting into the, you know, getting into the restaurant, like accidentally, like knocking over a table. You're sort of like, if you just calm down for a bit, it would actually be a better experience for all of us.

[George Severis]

Yeah, there's something. When you said that, Sam, it's like I'm thinking about like brushing really usually has to do with what you. Your perceived expectations of yourself. Pleasing, like that type of pleasing others. And it's like there's something outwardly imposing about rushing that is not self contained and not like self definitive of the way that the queer experience calls for.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Okay. I have one more. Okay. Okay. This is the only argument I have for rushing, potentially being queer. Ready?

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

It's dreaming that you can have it all. Because I think I'm most likely to rush when I'm like, I'm Gonna go to this thing, but I'm gonna get a coffee before. And I know that this could, like, throw everything for a loop.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Like, packing it in.

[Sam Taggart]

I like to try. Yeah.

[George Severis]

Sort of like stuffing your, like, face kind of. Yeah, yeah, I relate to that. Packing it in, I really.

[Alana Glazer]

No, totally. And also, you know, it goes back to a lot of these things, like the fear of death, for example. Of course, it is a straight quality, but it is also historically a very queer quality. Like, it is like the instinct to want to make the most of a life and to not want to settle is very queer. And so I could see a way, you know, I could see like a queer argument for sort of this having this like all encompassing zest for life. And in order to do it all, you have to be constantly on a rush. In a rush. But I will say that there's something the straight version of rushing is like, not about that. It's much more about like getting to the meeting.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Because the. Oh, go ahead, Sam. Sorry.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, well, it's also. It's taking something that's a personal issue and making it like a societal issue. Like suddenly your feeling is now everyone else's problem. You're pushing, you're shoving. It's. You're outwardly a problem.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Because the queer version of it, I wouldn't actually say is really rushing. It's like an insatiable thirst. It's in the context of oppressive straightness, like what we're talking about. Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

It's also maybe a more psychological and emotional rushing. It's like you're, you know, not to be, not to like, romanticize, whatever. It's like your brain going a mile a minute because you are, you know, trying to interpret all the different, you know, contradictions of the world and trying to see how you can live as other in a world that's not made for you. Like, there is a. There is a sort of a constant intellectual quote, unquote rushing happening because you are trying to find the right way to exist in the world. Whereas the stray version of rushing is much more external. It's like there's nothing going on up here, but you're running on the street.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow. Wow. Yeah. No, that makes sense. Sort of. I'm like, sorry, when you said that, all I was thinking about was like, when, like scientists and movies about scientists, like, have that big moment where they're seeing all the numbers and really breakthrough. That.

[Alana Glazer]

But that is kind of queer, though, don't you think?

[Sam Taggart]

No, that is queer. Absolutely queer. And I was like, Agreed. I was just sort of mourning that. I'm like, that's never gonna happen for me, is it? Like, I'm never gonna have that moment with all the numbers you can.

[Alana Glazer]

With all the words Maybe I can.

[George Severis]

Yeah. I feel like that is, like the. That's, like, the difference kind of like rushing on the street, like you're saying, and nothing's going on up here. But, like, the. The sort of Homeland formula is like a different thing. It's, like, revelatory or something. And I feel like. Sam, I'm like. I feel like I'm witnessing a couple Homeland moments from you already today. I don't know. And also, like, the fact that you're in LA and you made this big move after 12 years, I'm like, I'm sure you came to some sort of, like, existential calculations to make that move.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, I'm going through them always. Even a year in.

[George Severis]

Oh, yeah. I've been here for, like, 18 years. I'm, like, still going through them, which is good, right? Like, it's, like. Means you're, like, alive.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Because there is this, like, thing that we're talking about rushing, but it's, like, just the sort of painful running that is being alive.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. What do we think of, like, rushing? I have something. Okay, what about, like, people that rush to sort of succeed? Like, people who at, like, 22 are like, like, I'm going to be a doctor. Like, I need to, like, the rush to grow up, I guess, is sort of what I'm saying. Like, I know we talked about it a little bit, but, like, more in, like, a businessy way. Like, people that, like, graduate college and are, like, right now I have to go get a big job and throw my humanity out the window. Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

What an amazing way to bring it back to our initial conversation. It literally was like, the rushing of child from childhood to adulthood.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Is that.

[Sam Taggart]

That is straight, right? Or is it.

[Alana Glazer]

It's tough, because I really think it could go either way. Because on the one hand, all right, let's say in a traditional queer narrative, which hopefully now is no longer the case, but in a traditional queer narrative, you sort of are, like, losing out on the beauty of teenage flirtat. Let's say you're in the closet. You're losing out on the beauty of teenage flirtation, teenage relationships, first hookups, whatever. And then the stereotype is that you sort of make up for it after. And so maybe gay people are more sexually active when they're, like, in their 20s and 30s, whereas everyone else is getting Married and having kids. So that is, in fact the opposite of rushing. It is delaying. Delaying adulthood. Whereas straight people are so desperate to have sex at 13, they're just like, I have to like, straight men are just like, if I'm not jerking off, I'm not living. So I guess in that sense you could argue that rushing to adulthood is straight. In a different sense, you could argue that rushing to adulthood in the sense that like, oh, let's say you're a little queer precocious kid and you're like, just like lonely and into books, that's also a form of rushing because you're like, trying to be more of a grown up. I don't know. What do you think?

[Sam Taggart]

I think it's more of like. I don't necessarily think of that as rushing to grow up. I'm more thinking of the rushing to grow up as like. Like, the only reason I would think it was the queer side of it would be like, you, like, want to prove to everyone that, like, just because you're gay doesn't mean you're, like, not like, serious. You're not a serious person.

[Alana Glazer]

Sure.

[Sam Taggart]

So you would, like, sort of like graduate college and like, put that, that painting hobby aside and, and work in consulting now to prove that, like, you were. You were not a stupid. You have $200,000.

[Alana Glazer]

Well, I also think that's related to, you know, obviously, rushing. As we said, you're running from something rather than to something. And I do think a part of the queer experience occasionally is that you are running from some form. You know, until you accept yourself and you are a beautiful person, you're running from some form of shame, some form of self loathing, some form of, like, internal closetedness. And I do think that often is what is like the fire under people's asses that makes them immediately go into consulting. You know what I mean?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Like, there is something. It's like, well, if I can't be normal, then I'm gonna be rich.

[George Severis]

And like, to me, that's like. That may be a queer person at the center of that narrative, but the narrative's hetero normative.

[Alana Glazer]

100%.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

By definition. Yes.

[Sam Taggart]

Yes. Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Huh.

[Sam Taggart]

Damn. I definitely was like, the closeted one who was like, maybe if I can get really successful by 23, no one will be able to tell me I'm closeted.

[Alana Glazer]

I mean, we talked about this with, with Vanessa Bayer when we were talking about gay people in gay students in student government. It's like, if I can't be straight, I'M gonna be president.

[George Severis]

I was literally president of my class, junior and senior year. Exactly.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

Because it's like. It was just, like, so uncomfortable, and I feel like it's, like, straighter to not rush in most school and high school because you're, like, making out and you're like. You're actually on script. You know what I mean? Whereas I felt like me and my best friends, we were like, let's leave so we can write our script. You know what I mean? And, oh, my gosh, my best friend Daniel is, like, president of National Honor Society. And it was just kind of like we're sort of writing a script from these roles because we are not being cast for the roles that.

[Alana Glazer]

Oh, my God, that is genius. Yeah, totally. Totally.

[Sam Taggart]

Whoa.

[Alana Glazer]

It's literally like the roles don't exist for you.

[George Severis]

Exactly.

[Alana Glazer]

You know, it's sort of like when Reese Witherspoon started producing because she was an aging woman in Hollywood and there were no roles for her.

[George Severis]

Exactly.

[Alana Glazer]

She had to produce Wild. And guess what? She. And she made one of the best. One of the best movies ever made.

[George Severis]

That's right.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[George Severis]

Super sexy, too.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Huge. Shout out to Rhys.

[George Severis]

Hey, Rhys, we know you're listening. We loved Wild. Just like, a sort of new opinion.

[Alana Glazer]

She's always looking for. She's always looking for a new ip, So I think, you know, we'll see. She's always trying to elevate queer stories, I guess. Is she? Definitely.

[Sam Taggart]

Women's stories.

[George Severis]

Women's stories, yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Women's stories. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Okay, I have a question, Alana. Did you feel that Broad City. Were you. Did you feel that you were rushing to it?

[George Severis]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

Interesting.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my God. I'm realizing now, like, it's actually insane that you got. You were, like, so successful at, like, 27 or what? However old.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Totally rushing. We made 35 short films in two years.

[Sam Taggart]

That is so wild. It is.

[George Severis]

We were, like, obsessed and desperate. It was crazy.

[Sam Taggart]

It's crazy.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Yeah. That's kind of what I mean about, like, mourning the loss of my teen years. Cause, like, I wasn't. I kind of, like, in my 20s and 30s, was more like, oh, sex and sexual pleasure. Because, like, before that, I was, like, planning and plotting and scheming and writing.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[George Severis]

And then when Broad City ended, like, I was 22 when we started making this web series, we made 35 webisodes. I was 32 by the time we finished the TV show, which was 50 episodes. And I was like, who the fuck am I? You know, like, who am I outside of, like, writing and performing? A person, you know, did you ever.

[Alana Glazer]

Feel a tension between how adult and productive you had to be as a creator of this and also how. And how. You know what I mean? And how the characters.

[George Severis]

If you finish. I'm just relating.

[Alana Glazer]

I mean, I'm sure you know what I'm saying, but it's like how adult you had to be versus how. I don't want to say immature, because the characters weren't immature, but how lost the characters were. They were very much had these constant sort of entry level jobs. They were figuring it out, they were unlucky in love. And meanwhile, I mean, I don't know what your personal life was like, but certainly professionally, both you and Abby were incredibly high functioning, productive people that were, in a sense, like, business wise, beyond their years. Were you almost like, did you feel like a sense of, like, nostalgia for a adolescence you never, like, for a twenties you never had?

[George Severis]

Absolutely. I, like, had, like. It was such a. There was such a mourning period after Broad City for, like, on many levels, but that was absolutely one of them. My husband says I, like, blacked out during Broad City. And Alana Wexler is like, my unconscious mind making it to the surface and taking the pleasure that I couldn't as Alana Glaser, because I was, like, very anxiously producing this thing. And, you know, we made five seasons and we, like, had a contract for two more seasons. And we were like, we can't do this anymore. We have. There's no more. Like, I'm thinking of an assembly line, and there's like, no more assembly line. You know what I mean? It was just the edge, you know, and it was like, we actually have to, like, stop production before we fall off the edge. You know what I mean?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah.

[Alana Glazer]

You're almost like, literalizing the voodoo thing with the things that we were talking about. It's like you literally did get up every morning and you were like, what am I gonna make my doppelganger do? As a sort of.

[George Severis]

Exactly, exactly.

[Alana Glazer]

Both conscious and unconscious projection of who I am and how I feel.

[George Severis]

Right. And it's like, it was so authentic. Like, Abby and I really met in this scrappy comedy way, and we really. It was coming from us and we named ourselves. So like, that almost made it more confusing, the distance between the characters and our real selves, where it was like, but aren't they us? And aren't we in such control over da da da da da? But it's like we were like, discounting, like, actual God being in control. You know what I mean? Like, we were, like, discounting, like, spiritual. A spiritual narrative that we couldn't see because we were so tunnel vision. Like, I got to get to work, you know, or whatever. It was, like, completely resonates with me what you're. What you're saying.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow, that is so interesting. That is crazy.

[Alana Glazer]

What a weird thing not to go into promo mode. But would you say that, like, your desire to then recommit, to stand up was a way to be like, I want to be as. As literally myself as possible. Like, it's like, I want to be not playing a character. Or is that. Does that not resonate?

[George Severis]

Well, it does resonate. I like joking, like, having all these tics.

[Sam Taggart]

Oh, my gosh.

[George Severis]

Okay. I'm, like, about to descend into my grandma Harriet's giggle fit, and I'm not gonna do it. What you're saying describes or what you're saying rings true for me at the beginning of creating this hour, but not when I, like, locked in, because I really am in psychoanalysis. And my analyst was, like, saying to me, I've said this a few times now in podcasts, so I really apologize to anyone who's heard this before, but my analyst was like, you know, I was talking about how much I, like, couldn't stand myself right after Broad City. Like, how much I, like, fucking hated myself in Stand up, but needed it. And it's like, I just felt so torn. And he was like, well, it's impersonal. And I was like, oh, exactly. It's so personal. It's like I'm, like, ripping my arm off and, like, leaving it on the stage. And he was like, no, I said impersonal. And I was like, oh, bitch, you did okay, well, now I've got some, like, shit to sit in of my own. And it helped me clarify what Broad City had been. And with Stand up, it was like. What I was excited about was to actually, like, reflect and have the capacity to reflect while I was making art. And also for it to be, like a piece rather than a container for my limbs. You know what I mean? I didn't have the capacity to separate the contexts during Broad City. So, like, this. This experience of creating the hour that is human magic, touring it and filming it was so different and much more. I would actually say much more advanced, like Sam, because I was able to actually, like, play with it and not rush through it, really give it the space that it needed. And I, like, I had more. I took more pleasure in it. Than Broad City was, like, incredible and a miraculous experience to create and behold. But I didn't know how to take pleasure in it, and I did in this hour.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow. Love that. It's crazy for us to ask real questions where it's not normally.

[Alana Glazer]

I was about to say, I'm actually really proud of us as interviewers right now, because we're not. We usually, I would say, especially over the first, like, three or four years of the podcast, we, in almost a rude way, we would, like, forget to ask people about what they were promoting. We would be like, this is our show. You are our guest. Now tell us what you think is gay or straight. And then people would be like, right, so I'm not getting paid for this. And I do have a special coming out. And we'd be like, shut up. Shut the fuck up.

[George Severis]

Shut your fucking mouth. Bend over and take my pod. But I do have to say, like, I really am enjoying, like, we are so genuinely discovering. I mean, I don't know if, like, you know, I agree.

[Alana Glazer]

I agree.

[George Severis]

Earnestly discovering in a way that we're like, whoa. That it's like, I don't care, but I appreciate it.

[Alana Glazer]

And it brings us so much joy when a guest, like, is on board with this sort of, like, collaborative theorizing. Like, it's so fun because sometimes people don't feel like doing it, and they, like, don't get that. That's what.

[George Severis]

It's just like, why are you doing this, then?

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, exactly.

[Alana Glazer]

So we really appreciate it.

[George Severis]

Oh, I'm loving it. I'm, like, so in. I'm gonna miss you guys. On genuinely.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I also was like, there was a. Because we don't normally ask real questions, there was something where we were, like, doing the theorizing, and I was like, wait a minute, a lot of Glazer's here. I'm like, what are we doing?

[Alana Glazer]

No, it's right. You wouldn't want us to be, like, just like any other, you know, just to be like, so how'd you get into comedy?

[Sam Taggart]

Right, right, right.

[George Severis]

That would be so straight.

[Sam Taggart]

Wait, that would actually be iconic, though.

[Alana Glazer]

That would be iconic if you came up and we were like, so how is ucb?

[George Severis]

Yeah, I don't know. But to get lost, I have to say, to, like, get lost in discovery together feels very queer.

[Alana Glazer]

Yes, 100%.

[George Severis]

And I'm just, like, lapping it up.

[Sam Taggart]

It's true.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay, well, should we do final thoughts on rushing? Or. Sam, do you want to.

[Sam Taggart]

Final thoughts on rushing? Yes, Final thoughts on rushing. To Me. Okay. Another. I do agree that it's mostly straight. The one other queer thing about it is I'm thinking about, like, rushing through the rain. Like, I'm thinking of the poetry of rushing. And there is something where you're so down on your luck that it's like you. Because you're in such a sort of melodramatic space, if you're, like, rushing and you step in a puddle and you step in dog shit and a woman yells at you. Like, you're like, there. You're. You are. You are in a narrative. And so, yeah, you're the main character.

[Alana Glazer]

You're the main character, for lack of a better term.

[George Severis]

Oh, and that is queer to you?

[Alana Glazer]

I think that part can be like, self romanticizing. It's like, it's. Yeah, it's like. I mean, it is the performance of it. I mean, obviously, I think there's a way in which a performance of Russian can be straight because you're being such a, like, businesswoman. But also performance inherently is queer, of course. Like, it is much more queer to be rushing than to be, you know, like, sitting in a church pew wearing a blazer.

[Sam Taggart]

Like, I think essentially we need to look at every single person who's rushing and be like, are you self aware about your rushing? Are you living in a movie? Or are you thinking, I just have to be there on time?

[Alana Glazer]

Are you living out loud?

[George Severis]

Like, we're talking about, like, different levels of rushing. I was thinking more like a businessman who's, like, shoving people.

[Alana Glazer]

Totally, totally.

[George Severis]

His life is so, like, important or whatever. But, like, what's interesting about that also is the camp of that guy where he doesn't realize category is executive realness. Literally. And it's like, girl, we're imitating you. You know what I mean? There's a camp to straightness that it's really just about the awareness. It's all kind of campy.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, exactly. It is all about the awareness that is huge.

[George Severis]

Enormous.

[Alana Glazer]

I mean, the campiness of straightness is doing the most obvious thing. It's like someone doing the most obvious thing and then you on the outside being like, can you believe they're doing that? This is literally a bride wearing a white dress and a groom that is giving a toast. It's like the movies, they're doing it. That's what's camp about it.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Ugh, God. When a movie starts out with someone rushing, I'm like, this person is about.

[Alana Glazer]

To, like, have an amazing Devil Wears Prada opening montage.

[Sam Taggart]

Literally.

[George Severis]

Wait, I'm Having like a thought right now, like the thing about what you're saying about like the, the bride and that she's wearing a white dress and he's like making a toast. Oh, fuck, I hope I like remember the fucking thing is that it's like back to the LA thing is like, oh my gosh. Okay. Oh my gosh. It's like there's this contrived discovery where like the camp of straightness is like, we're doing it, we're really giving the toast. And it's like. You mean like the 40 million other toasts that were given this year in the same fashion? And it's like lack of capacity to self discover. Whereas the queerness is almost like the genuine, true new discovery, which is also what you say about performance. And it's not even like, who are you fucking? It's like, how brand new, how vulnerable are you able to be to be brand new in this moment?

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah, and the discovery is key. I think the instinct to want something new is queer. And the instinct to basically like recreate what you've seen as straight. It's like.

[George Severis]

That's right, that's right.

[Alana Glazer]

Huh, huh, huh.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

Stunning.

[Sam Taggart]

Stunning. Like, truly, I think we've really covered rushing.

[George Severis]

I think I'm never gonna like, this.

[Alana Glazer]

Is a life, Alana. I'm never gonna forget this day.

[George Severis]

This is a life changing conversation. Cause I honestly like when I rush and I think I. My dumb shit is so important. I'm like. It's like I'm changed.

[Alana Glazer]

Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

I mean, I think December 6th will go down as. As important, if not more important than January 6th.

[Alana Glazer]

For now, needless to say, January 7th, when this comes out, is going to be even more important.

[George Severis]

Right? That's right. Than both dates combined.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

Amazing. Should we do our final segment?

[Sam Taggart]

I think that's an amazing idea.

[Alana Glazer]

At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more than just a car or a house.

[Sam Taggart]

It's the four wheels that get you.

[Alana Glazer]

Where you're going and the four walls.

[Sam Taggart]

That welcome you home. When you combine auto and home insurance.

[Alana Glazer]

With amica, we'll help protect it all. And the more you cover, the more you can save amica.

[Sam Taggart]

Empathy is our best policy.

[George Severis]

When a person calls 988, they're connected to a crisis counselor.

[Alana Glazer]

Crisis is completely self defined. If you're wondering if you should call.

[George Severis]

You should probably call.

[Sam Taggart]

A caller can expect to talk about coping skills, talk about resources and ways.

[George Severis]

To move forward beyond the call.

[Sam Taggart]

They can call us, they can chat, they can text. And when they come out on the other side they're feeling better. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org this message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk [e-mail] iheart you ever get the feeling the city walls closing in the concrete jungle suffocating your soul? You crave wide open spaces, the chance to connect with nature, maybe chase some elk, fish a private stream. Well, listen up.

[Alana Glazer]

There's a whole world out there and.

[Sam Taggart]

Finding your own piece of it just got easier. Head over to land.com. they've got ranches, forest, mountains, you name it. Search by acreage, location, the kind of hunting or fishing you dream of. Land.com it's where the adventure begins.

[George Severis]

Hey, it's Nikki Glaser. I'm not here to roast you. I'm here to overshare everything that went down at the Golden Globes last Sunday. Everyone is already talking about what happened on air at the Golden Globes. But you are going to hear about what happened off air from the horse's mouth. Yes, I'm the horse. Me, Nikki Glaser. Join me on my podcast, the Nikki.

[Sam Taggart]

Glaser Podcast, where I will be telling.

[George Severis]

You all the details. I can finally relax with my besties, my listeners and dish. What happened backstage? What went down, the things people are already talking about. The things that people should be talking about. I've got it all. From what it took to prep for the Golden Globes to the behind the scenes of the Golden Globes. What went down in the rehearsals? Who said what at the after party, who I saw at the after party.

[Sam Taggart]

Who was dancing with who?

[George Severis]

I'm gonna spill it. All secrets will be revealed. You do not want to miss this episode. Listen to the Nikki Glaser podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Sam Taggart]

Alana. Our final segment is called Shout Outs and in this segment we shout out in the grand straight oral tradition, anything that we are enjoying. Imagine it's TRL 2001 and you are in Times Square shouting out to your squad back home about anything that you like we make them up on the spot.

[Alana Glazer]

We make them up on the spot. I just thought of mine.

[Sam Taggart]

Do you have one? Do you want to go first, George? Yeah, I can go.

[Alana Glazer]

I can go.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah, we'll go first.

[Alana Glazer]

Okay. What's up, freaks and losers? I want to give a shout out to novellas. I'm talking novels that are like 100 pages long. You know, I'm not going to stand here and be insecure about sometimes I can't deal with 400 pages. And if someone else said that to me, I'd say, oh my God, you stupid anti intellectual, sit your ass down, put that phone away and read War and Peace. But you know what? I have to be honest with myself sometimes. I don't have the patience for it. Not always, but sometimes. And when you get a book that is 90 to 120 pages long. Are you kidding me? You can read that in one afternoon. It is edited down to the bare bones. You're not reading fucking 15 page descriptions of rain. There's a time and a place for that. There is a time and a place for that. But guess what? It's not when I am in a rush. A callback to the topic of the episode. And so I want to especially shout out. I'm currently reading a book called the Pilgrim Hawk by Glenway Westcott. It is about. It all takes place in one afternoon in one house. I'm in heaven. I don't have to memorize. I don't have to look at a map of Lord of the Rings characters. I don't have to look at a family tree. I just have to know four characters. And of course the hawk that a woman carries around. That is kind of an important part of the story. So I can't wait to see what happens and shout out to novellas. Woo.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, that's groundbreaking. Thank you. Okay, I think I'm gonna go. I think I have one. Well, I have one and a half. Okay. Okay, wait. I gotta remember what the second thing is called. Okay, this is gonna be a completely disparate two parter. Ready? What is up freaks, losers and perverts around the globe? I wanna give a huge shout out that that's right. To my dentist. I yesterday got a dental procedure done. Part one of getting a crown. I have never had one before. And I said, I said to him, I'm scared, I'm nervous. And he said, don't worry, I gotcha. And when I tell you this man had me. I felt so taken care of. I do want to say, I know it's hack for me to say, but there was something sexual about just giving up control and letting this man grind my tooth down to nothing. I felt trusted. I felt like I was looking into his eyes and he kept saying, are you okay? Thumbs up, thumbs up. Are you okay?

[Alana Glazer]

Don't forget to breathe.

[Sam Taggart]

And I was like, this is amazing. I love this doctor, this dentist. And the damn office is so humble and the, you know, where the leather on the chair is cracking and you're like, ugh, this is a lived in office, not some of these fancy ring light camera offices. This is a real fucking dentist and he is going to inject me with whatever and just grind my teeth to shit. I love this man and he can hold me as tight as he wants. And secondly, and of course the most edgy shout out yet is I have to shout out. Cozy Little Christmas by Katy Perry.

[Alana Glazer]

I mean, I didn't even hear this.

[Sam Taggart]

It came on when I was in a CBS and I said, this song is so good and I cannot stop hearing it and loving it. Cozy Little Christmas, Katy Perry. I know this is coming out after Christmas, but mark my words, this is Christmas canon from now on. Cozy Little Christmas, Katy Perry.

[George Severis]

Whoa.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

Literally never heard of that song in my life.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, you haven't spent enough time in cbs.

[George Severis]

Oof. Guys, I wish I had gone first because those were so strong.

[Alana Glazer]

Thank you.

[George Severis]

But in the spirit of queer self discovery, I'm gonna try and I'm gonna go slow.

[Sam Taggart]

Okay?

[George Severis]

I do know that I'm nervous. What's up freaks and corn dogs and Berbers and fucking losers. I'm gonna give a shout out to how water. First thing in the morning. A mug of hot water first thing. Oh my gosh. Gets those organs moving. Lubed up everything that's going on inside. It doesn't matter if it's dry out or if it's moist in the air. You are moist. You are moist everywhere and you feel that heat. And you don't need external validation because you're taking care of your body and your organs by keeping them pure first thing in the morning before you dump toxins into your body for the rest of the day. This is your one moment of peace and quiet. And you have to take your time and you cannot rush. When you drink this mug of hot water first thing in the morning. And you are using that space and time wisely to reflect on what it means to be in a body.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow.

[George Severis]

Fuck you.

[Sam Taggart]

Woo.

[Alana Glazer]

Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

That was great. That was amazing. I've never thought of having hot water in the Morning.

[Alana Glazer]

Do you not do coffee?

[George Severis]

I do. It's just like when I'm being a really good girl, I'm having a mug of hot water first.

[Alana Glazer]

Got it. Wow.

[Sam Taggart]

I'm definitely chugging water when I wake up, but always ice cold.

[Alana Glazer]

I think that in my very gay guy. I think I'm gonna become one of those classic women who get hot water with lemon after dinner.

[Sam Taggart]

I really see that. I really see that for you.

[George Severis]

Yeah. Wanna be a skinny bitch? Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. Yeah.

[George Severis]

Yeah. You wanna poop that dinner out? Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and wanna poop that dinner out?

[Alana Glazer]

I'm gonna go out.

[George Severis]

You wanna feel like an elegant bitch? Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow.

[Alana Glazer]

This has been an absolute delight, Alana. Thank you so much for doing the pod. And please tell our listeners one more time what your special is called and where and when people can stream it.

[George Severis]

If this is coming out on January 7th, I hope you didn't celebrate the anniversary yesterday, but rather took time to give your body healthy pleasure. You can currently watch my sophomore standup special Human Magic on Hulu and Disney Worldwide for those, you know, Greek and international listeners. Yeah.

[Sam Taggart]

Wow. Well, thank you so much for doing the pod. This has been a real treat.

[Alana Glazer]

Thank you.

[George Severis]

I'm thrilled. I'm honored. What a pleasure.

[Sam Taggart]

Well, bye. Bye. Podcast ends now.

[Alana Glazer]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Sam Taggart]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Alana Glazer]

Now get back to work.

[Sam Taggart]

Stradiolab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart podcasts.

[Alana Glazer]

Created and hosted by George Severis and.

[Sam Taggart]

Sam Taggart, executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Aguilar co produced by Bay Wang Edited and engineered by Adam.

[Alana Glazer]

Avelope Artwork by Michael Fails and Matt.

[Sam Taggart]

Grove Theme music by Ben Kling Are you still quoting 30 year old movies?

[Alana Glazer]

Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days?

[Sam Taggart]

Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past.

[Alana Glazer]

Discover is accepted at 99% of places.

[Sam Taggart]

That take credit cards nationwide.

[Alana Glazer]

And every time you make a purchase.

[Sam Taggart]

With your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the Now It Pays to Discover. Learn more at discover.com credit card Based.

[Alana Glazer]

On the February 2024 Nielsen report, Kroger.

[George Severis]

Brand products have the great taste you'll celebrate.

[Sam Taggart]

That's why over 40 million people choose Kroger brand products, making them a true crowd pleaser and with quality guaranteed. You'll love your choice or get your money back.

[George Severis]

Score Kroger brand products with savings you can cheer for and great taste you can't resist.

[Alana Glazer]

Kroger fresh for everyone. Odoo is business management made so simple.

[Sam Taggart]

A kid could explain it.

[Alana Glazer]

Sometimes business software can't talk to other.

[Sam Taggart]

Programs, but Odoo, funny word, has every.

[Alana Glazer]

Program from CRM to HR to accounting in one platform. It should cost a lot, but it doesn't.

[Sam Taggart]

So you should use Odoo because they save you money.

[Alana Glazer]

Odoo makes a lot of sense, but.

[Sam Taggart]

Doesn'T cost a lot of sense.

[Alana Glazer]

Sign up [e-mail] that's o d o o.com Good job.

[Sam Taggart]

Thanks.

[George Severis]

Hey guys, as you know, I've been.

[Alana Glazer]

Taking some time off drinking, but when I go out I want to be able to hang with the boys. So I've been checking out some non alcoholic beer options and Heineken 00 was the perfect drink for that.

[Sam Taggart]

Yeah buddy. Heineken 00 is the official brew of endless possibilities. Because with Heineken 00 now you can Whether at the office, pre or post workout, or relaxing at home, being 0.0% alcohol means you can enjoy this alcohol free option whenever refreshment calls. Heineken 00 0.0% alcohol 100% taste only 69 calories now you can available at your local Heineken retailer or for [e-mail] must be 21/ to purchase. Enjoy Heineken responsibly. ABC Wednesday Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[George Severis]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out what the rest of my life looks like.

[Sam Taggart]

So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in.

[Alana Glazer]

The last time you walked out that.

[Sam Taggart]

Door, you looked back at me and gave me a double bird.

[George Severis]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Alana Glazer]

The wheels come off.

[George Severis]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Sam Taggart]

Have you watched the news lately?

[Alana Glazer]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Sam Taggart]

Series premiere Wednesday, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.