"Straight Lines" w/ Martine

Summary

StraightioLab Podcast Summary: "Straight Lines" featuring Martine

Release Date: October 29, 2024

---

Introduction

In the "Straight Lines" episode of StraightioLab, hosts George Severis and Sam Taggart delve into the intricate facets of straight culture with their guest, Martine, a multi-hyphenate artist and recent star of Phantasma. Joined by comedian Wanda Sykes and Cleveland Browns running back Nick Chubb, the episode offers a blend of sharp humor and insightful discussions aimed at unpacking societal norms and misconceptions surrounding straight culture.

---

Segment 1: Welcoming Martine and Breaking the Ice

The episode kicks off with playful banter as the hosts and Martine navigate the dynamics of a live recording. Martine shares her discomfort with oversharing, stating,

"I don't enjoy inhabiting this body and being on earth, but I have made the best of it." [10:00]

This sets the tone for an episode that balances humor with genuine introspection.

Notable Quote:

Martine: "I have a big secret." [12:25]

This declaration piques curiosity, laying the groundwork for deeper discussions about identity and societal expectations.

---

Segment 2: Exploring Martine's Artistic Journey

Martine introduces her artistic works, notably her pieces "Sip" and "Licking the Notebook." The conversation delves into the themes and inspirations behind these works. Martine emphasizes the subjective interpretation of art:

"It's about sipping... it's about what you bring to it, your perception." [41:40]

The hosts challenge Martine to articulate the essence of her art, leading to a humorous yet thought-provoking exchange about the commercialization and globalization themes implicitly present in her work.

Notable Quote:

Nick Chubb: "Sip changed the game. I remember where I was when I first saw Sip." [40:38]

This highlights the impact Martine's work has had on the discourse around straight culture.

---

Segment 3: The Dynamics of Straight Culture

The hosts engage Martine in discussions about straight culture, using segments like "Straight Shooters" to test familiarity and complicity within these societal norms. Through rapid-fire questions, Martine navigates topics ranging from personal identity to broader cultural symbols.

Notable Quote:

Martine: "I'm open to furries. I'm open to... I'm just kind of open." [60:25]

This openness underscores the podcast's theme of challenging and expanding the conventional definitions within straight culture.

---

Segment 4: The Vault and Artistic Expression

A recurring metaphor throughout the episode is Martine's "Vault," representing the hidden or suppressed aspects of one's identity and art. The conversation takes a creative turn as the hosts and Martine imagine scenarios involving the Vault, blending humor with symbolic discussions about self-expression and societal constraints.

Notable Quote:

Wanda Sykes: "I love following your journey and saying, oh, wow... the mystery will never be solved." [74:02]

This reflects the enigmatic nature of Martine's persona and her art, emphasizing the podcast's exploration of deeper societal notions.

---

Segment 5: Shout Outs and Final Thoughts

In the concluding segments, the hosts and Martine participate in "Shout Outs," blending humor with heartfelt acknowledgments. Martine's shout out to the Brooklyn Ball Factory underscores the personal connections and cultural touchpoints that shape individual experiences within straight culture.

Notable Quote:

Martine: "They make balls. They make rice balls. Onigiri. So good." [76:43]

This light-hearted moment encapsulates the podcast's ability to intertwine personal anecdotes with broader cultural discussions.

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Key Insights and Conclusions

• Challenging Norms: The episode effectively challenges traditional perceptions of straight culture by introducing diverse perspectives and encouraging open dialogue.

• Art as Reflection: Martine's artwork serves as a mirror to societal norms, prompting listeners to question and reflect on their own complicity within these structures.

• Humor and Depth: The blend of comedy with serious discussions exemplifies the podcast's unique approach to dissecting complex cultural topics.

---

Final Thoughts

"Straight Lines" with Martine offers a multifaceted exploration of straight culture through the lenses of art, personal identity, and societal expectations. The engaging banter between hosts and guests, punctuated with memorable quotes and insightful discussions, makes this episode a compelling listen for those seeking both humor and depth in understanding the nuances of straight culture.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Martine on Empathy:

   "It's human." [00:55]

2. Martine Revealing a Secret:

   "I have a big secret." [12:25]

3. Martine on Artistic Perception:

   "It's about sipping... it's about what you bring to it, your perception." [41:40]

4. Martine on Openness:

   "I'm open to furries. I'm open to... I'm just kind of open." [60:25]

5. Wanda on Martine's Mystery:

   "I love following your journey and saying, oh, wow... the mystery will never be solved." [74:02]

6. Martine on Shout Outs:

   "They make balls. They make rice balls. Onigiri. So good." [76:43]

These quotes encapsulate the episode's blend of humor, introspection, and cultural critique, providing listeners with poignant takeaways from the lively discussions.

---

Conclusion

The "Straight Lines" episode of StraightioLab successfully navigates the complexities of straight culture through engaging dialogue, humor, and artistic exploration. By featuring Martine and incorporating diverse guest perspectives, the podcast fosters a space for meaningful conversations that both entertain and enlighten its audience.

Transcript

[George Severis]

Hey comedy fans. The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live near you. Laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okotsuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes, and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Sam Taggart]

Every day our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.

[Martine]

Thank you for calling Amica Insurance.

[Nick Chubb]

Hey, I was just in an accident.

[Martine]

Don't worry, we'll get you taken care of.

[Sam Taggart]

At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking.

[Martine]

It's human.

[Sam Taggart]

Ameca empathy is our best policy.

[Nick Chubb]

Where'd you get those shoes?

[Martine]

Easy. They're from dsw.

[Wanda Sykes]

Because DSW has the exact right shoes.

[Martine]

For whatever you're into right now.

[Wanda Sykes]

You know, like the sneakers that make.

[Martine]

Office hours feel like happy hour, the.

[Nick Chubb]

Boots that turn grocery aisles into runways, and all the styles that show off.

[Martine]

The many sides of you, from daydreamer to multitasker and everything in between.

[Wanda Sykes]

Because you do it all in really great shoes.

[Martine]

Find a shoe for every you at.

[Wanda Sykes]

Your DSW store or dsw.com boost your.

[Sam Taggart]

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[Nick Chubb]

Whether you're ordering wings for the game, whipping up a seven layer dip, or ordering pizza, there's something about football that makes you want to eat in this football season.

[Sam Taggart]

UberEats has the best deals on game.

[Nick Chubb]

Day food no matter what you're craving.

[Sam Taggart]

From two for one pizza to buy.

[Nick Chubb]

One get one wings. Uber Eats will be dropping new deals each week all season long.

[Sam Taggart]

Uber Eats official on demand delivery partner of the NFL. Order now. Terms and conditions apply.

[Nick Chubb]

See app for details. Hootie Hoo everyone. This is your weekly show Update. If you are in New York City, you can see me, George Severis. Do an hour of Standup comedy at the legendary Joe's Pub on November 14 and November 25. And the first show is almost sold out, but there are a few tickets left for the second one. It is a genuine dream come true to do Joe's Pub, so I would really love to see some glamour girls in the crowd. And you can get tickets to both of those [e-mail] and if you're in the beautiful Canadian city of Toronto, we are at long last doing a Stradiolab Toronto show on Saturday, November 23, at the Paradise Theater. And tickets to that show are available in our Instagram Bio and on linktree.com Stradiolab and they're, I have to say, already going fast. So I would act now. Enjoy the show.

[Wanda Sykes]

Podcast starts now. Wow.

[Nick Chubb]

I haven't gathered my thoughts yet.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, what thoughts are there together?

[Nick Chubb]

I don't know. There was something. It all happened. So you were like, okay, let's start. Podcast starts now. And I find myself in that place between backstage and onstage.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, no.

[Nick Chubb]

And I'm telling myself, go, go. The crowd is waiting. Go. But then I'm being like, oh, sorry, just one more sip of water.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And meanwhile, the executive from the big network has already left. He's like, this is not.

[Wanda Sykes]

He's like, this is unprofessional.

[Nick Chubb]

This is unprofessional. What is he wearing? He has food in his teeth. Looks disgusting. Disgusting Gay guy alert.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

We do not. We have filled our disgusting gay guy quote for the month. We don't need any more with this little bitch.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. That can be so hard.

[Nick Chubb]

So that's where I am. How about you?

[Wanda Sykes]

Me? I feel like I'm in a similar space, but my imagery is more that I'm walking from the back of the venue, and it's sort of like I'm sort of. I should have come from, you know, the stage door, but I'm making a show of it, and I'm being like, okay. It's taking me forever to get there in a way that's kind of fun. And everyone's like, oh, wow, he's playing with the form. I didn't know someone could come from the back. Ooh, I love that.

[Nick Chubb]

Are you doing the thing? Are you saying hi to people as you're walking, but with no expectation that they'll say hi back?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yes. Just sort of like waves. Waves here and there.

[Nick Chubb]

To be in a room where all eyes are on you.

[Wanda Sykes]

Can I tell you, please. We're recording this live from New York City.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, of course.

[Wanda Sykes]

And you know, I've been out of town, one could argue. And I went to.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you think living somewhere different permanently counts as being out of town?

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, it's certainly not in town, I can say that much. And I went to the Exley last night, and I actually went with one of my co workers at the job who was in New York as well, and he got to watch as people. Everyone comes up and says, hi. Oh, my God, you've been out of town. How has it been multiple people?

[Nick Chubb]

It was a homecoming for you.

[Wanda Sykes]

It was a homecoming.

[Martine]

Wait, where do you live now?

[Wanda Sykes]

In El. Oh, yeah.

[Martine]

I'm sorry. I'm keeping going. I feel like I'm. I'm, like, eating alone, like, and you're, like, at a table for a while.

[Wanda Sykes]

You're, like, tweeting. You're like, first date next to me. Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

We put our guests through this wringer of like. Rather than welcoming them, we make them do the most awkward thing possible, which is just sit there and make facial expressions at us and just not be able to speak and just have to.

[Martine]

Be like, it's working. I feel. I feel excluded. Oh.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh.

[Martine]

But in, like, a.

[Nick Chubb]

In a way that makes you want to perform even better.

[Wanda Sykes]

Is it, like, revving you up?

[Martine]

Yeah, a little. I'm like, what am I gonna. How am I gonna get in there? Yeah, how am I gonna.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Well, there's a tension building.

[Martine]

What did you order? You know?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that looks good. Oh, I would love to try that.

[Nick Chubb]

This is actually something we can talk about, is the dynamics of talking to a neighboring table at a restaurant.

[Wanda Sykes]

I think we should bring in our guest if we're gonna talk about this.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay, let's bring in our guest.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

Without further ado, please welcome the multi hyphenate and recent star of Phantasma's, Martine. Hello, Martine. Thank you for joining us.

[Martine]

Was I supposed to say something?

[Wanda Sykes]

You don't have to.

[Martine]

Okay. I'm glad you recognized me. Cause it's like a 5050 these days.

[Nick Chubb]

So how are you?

[Martine]

I'm good. I was resisting. I don't want to overshare. This seems to be, like, a thing.

[Nick Chubb]

It's incredible to come on a podcast. The answer to the question, how are you to be. I don't want to overshare.

[Martine]

I don't. I prefer to. Well, sometimes I just get too genuine, and I kind of. The other person is kind of. They don't know what they're in for.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, I see, I see, I see.

[Martine]

They're like, I wanted to Just go. I just wanted to be bored.

[Wanda Sykes]

We don't mind being challenged, just FYI.

[Nick Chubb]

No, not at all.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you find that you get to that genuine place too fast?

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Yeah. I kind of, like, sit on the edge of kind of intimacy. If it was a ledge, I'm like dangling my little itsy bitsy heels off the edge.

[Nick Chubb]

Some of the tiniest heels I've ever seen.

[Martine]

Really?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Like you're lying.

[Nick Chubb]

Wait. And I. And so I can see the cliff.

[Wanda Sykes]

I can see the waves crashing on the rocks. And I'm scared. I'm like, is she gonna get that intimate?

[Nick Chubb]

And then if it's.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's death.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, that's death. And so then every time someone starts a conversation with you, it's a little tap on your shoulder. But if it's. If it's too much, you're falling.

[Martine]

It's like a weight. It's like a real. It's like a push.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Well, that must be really hard.

[Martine]

But I'm gonna. What did I say?

[Wanda Sykes]

Good. You said you were good.

[Martine]

I think that's true.

[Nick Chubb]

See, now you're hanging off the ledge. The word good brought you from sitting on the edge to hanging off. Hanging by one hand, there's like a. Yeah.

[Martine]

There's like an old, you know, twisted tree I'm holding. Yeah. Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, so dangerous.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, God. And it's. I got a chill.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And the fog. You actually can't see the bottom of the rock.

[Martine]

No, you can hear.

[Nick Chubb]

You can hear the rocks.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, and the salt. The salt in the air.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes.

[Martine]

Yeah. Gorgeous. I mean, that's why I look like that. I mean, it does really great.

[Nick Chubb]

That's amazing. It's a double edged sword because on the one hand you're. You might die, but on the other hand, you look snatched as hell. Yeah. You.

[Martine]

I mean, as you. How else would you want to go?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Martine, can I ask a personal question?

[Martine]

I've never seen this show, so how personal are you? Yeah. Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay. I want to know what in your life changed when you messaged me. I'm ready to do a podcast.

[Nick Chubb]

Ooh. Yeah. Because we actually have been trying to get you on for approximately five years.

[Wanda Sykes]

And then one day I got this beautiful message that said, I'm ready to do a podcast.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

And I said this. Something has changed.

[Martine]

Yeah, it did. It changed. I don't enjoy this.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay.

[Martine]

I don't.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, it's a curse.

[Martine]

Yeah. I don't enjoy inhabiting this body and being on earth, but I have made the best of it.

[Wanda Sykes]

Sure.

[Martine]

And I think. And I was on Julio's show again, but this time, everyone, you know, everyone gagged.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, they gagged.

[Martine]

They gagged. And I. And I. And I was told I have to do more press.

[Wanda Sykes]

Really?

[Martine]

Yeah, I was told.

[Wanda Sykes]

So you were forced by Julio?

[Martine]

I didn't say that. I didn't say that.

[Wanda Sykes]

But you don't deny it.

[Martine]

He didn't specifically say that. It was made clear to me that I can't just be this kind of anonymous figure.

[Wanda Sykes]

So you're breaking your silence.

[Martine]

Yeah. And you have asked. And I was like, oh, it won't be totally foreign for me to. It's like me stepping into the.

[Nick Chubb]

This is your big debut.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Of press. This is your big press debut.

[Martine]

Cause you have, like, a lot of listeners, right?

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, well, needless to say, I'm here.

[Martine]

Cause I'm here for that. I'm here for. To. I kind of feel like I have nothing to promote, though.

[Nick Chubb]

That's okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Most of our guests don't.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

So just to recap, you don't enjoy this. You are. Because we have a lot of listeners, and you have nothing to promote, but.

[Wanda Sykes]

You are here to promote Phantasmal.

[Nick Chubb]

Fantastic. And you feel uncomfortable with the question, how are you?

[Martine]

I don't feel uncomfortable. I just. I didn't want to make you listen to something that I might regret saying.

[Nick Chubb]

Of course. Of course. The sense that I'm getting is that there is a big secret. Don't you feel there's a big secret and you're afraid that if you speak, you'll spill it?

[Wanda Sykes]

You have a big secret.

[Nick Chubb]

You have a big secret. Don't deny it.

[Martine]

I. I have a big secret.

[Nick Chubb]

So it's true.

[Martine]

I didn't. I didn't want to say it, but it might even be two secrets. Oh, yeah. Somehow less dramatic.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, I know it is. I'm like, okay, how many secrets?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, we all have secrets.

[Martine]

Like, seven secrets.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, that's really interesting.

[Nick Chubb]

The chic number of secrets to have is one.

[Martine]

It's only one.

[Wanda Sykes]

You can only have one secret.

[Nick Chubb]

Also, I would say two is literally the worst number, because at least if you have a hundred secrets, then, okay, you're like a woman.

[Wanda Sykes]

You, like, wear a robe and you, like.

[Nick Chubb]

But if you have secrets, if you have two, it's like, okay, so you're like a politician, and your two secrets are like, you had an affair and you're like, a bad dad.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. And it's like, that's actually not a secret.

[Nick Chubb]

And you took money from oil.

[Wanda Sykes]

There we go. That's a better secret.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

You're paying.

[Martine]

You're paying for nice hotels.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes, exactly.

[Martine]

You're paying for beautiful dinners.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

So everyone. Yeah. So actually, if you have one big secret, a way to make that better for yourself is to have another secret, and then it will make the first secret less.

[Wanda Sykes]

But to be fair, this is sort of how almost addiction starts, is you're like. Well, it's like this is how credit card debt works, where you're like, well, I already have a little. Maybe I'll just pay it off with another credit card.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, my God. What if someone was addicted to secrets?

[Martine]

Collecting them or just having them? Yeah, I don't want to talk about it anymore.

[Nick Chubb]

About your secret.

[Wanda Sykes]

Your two secrets.

[Nick Chubb]

You don't want to talk about your secrets.

[Martine]

That's what I said.

[Nick Chubb]

But you do want people to know you have them.

[Martine]

No.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh. So we'll cut that out.

[Martine]

Yeah. But this is live.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, this is live.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, sorry. Okay. Well.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. We're coming at you live from Times Square.

[Nick Chubb]

We're coming at you live from Times Squid. It's New Year's Eve Square.

[Martine]

Honestly, this building gives Times Square no. Totally 100% hallway that played different hits as you walk through the tunnel of hits.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

That's why I was late.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, you got lost in the tunnel of hits?

[Martine]

Yeah, I just would go forward and go back and go forward and go back, and I got on my phone and I took some content, and then I was like, I can't post this.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

So. But can we go back there?

[Nick Chubb]

Like, the three of us, we definitely are gonna go back.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, we're gonna go back and we're gonna get some pics.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

And we're not gonna lose ourselves in it.

[Nick Chubb]

No.

[Martine]

If that's what you want.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh. Do you want to lose yourself in the tunnel of hits?

[Martine]

I feel like I can't. I mean, it was. I was, like, half an hour late.

[Wanda Sykes]

What?

[Martine]

I was like.

[Nick Chubb]

You were half an hour late because you were in the tunnel of hits.

[Martine]

I arrived at. Yeah, I was, like, 35 minutes late.

[Wanda Sykes]

I want to say something about being 35 minutes late.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Where there was 35 minutes late is actually so significantly late that you get scared and you're like, oh, she's not going to show up. That when you do show up, it's actually a treat. Like, when you got here, I was like. Like, there was nothing but, like, joy.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

Because it was like, it could have been so much worse.

[Nick Chubb]

Whereas if you were 20 minutes late, we would have been mad. We would have been like.

[Martine]

And 15.

[Nick Chubb]

It's almost like 15 doesn't even count.

[Wanda Sykes]

We were 15.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Oh, you were 15?

[Nick Chubb]

I was actually 20.

[Wanda Sykes]

And let's just say we were mad.

[Nick Chubb]

They were mad at me. We did another recording before this and I was 20 minutes late because of a combination of subway issues and my own timing. And I could feel that they were mad.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And I had to over perform. And I actually think I knocked it out of the park because I think that pressure is what I needed to stick the landing.

[Martine]

Stick the landing.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes. Like a gymnast.

[Martine]

Like what's a gymnast?

[Wanda Sykes]

So you would love them.

[Martine]

Okay. Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

You would love gymnastics.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And these short little girls.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Martine]

I do love girls.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

And they can do anything. Flip, twirl, spin, balance.

[Nick Chubb]

Very strong. Strong and elegant and graceful.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yes.

[Nick Chubb]

And they represent our country.

[Martine]

Oh, and yeah, like liaisons.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes, like liaisons in the United Nations. They're sort of Angelina Jolie figures, if you will.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And they work in teams and also individually, so they celebrate both the communal aspect of American culture and the rigid, individualistic, capitalist nature of American culture.

[Wanda Sykes]

It's a beautiful combination, but it comes at a cost because they can only stay so beautiful and strong for so long.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

So they die out very, very young.

[Nick Chubb]

And as soon as they are 21 years old, they're too old. And people are throwing tomatoes at them saying, old bitch, get off the stage.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. I don't want you representing my nation anymore. So it's unethical in that regard, but it's still inspiring nonetheless.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

If you don't look into it, you would really like it.

[Martine]

You both know so much.

[Wanda Sykes]

Thank you.

[Nick Chubb]

So anyway, the sticking the landing is when a gymnast does a bunch of flips, you know, it doesn't count if she then like falls flat on her ass. She has to stick the landing. She has to land on both her feet.

[Martine]

Right.

[Nick Chubb]

And then do this.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Hands up.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Hands up.

[Wanda Sykes]

To show that she's not a threat.

[Martine]

Right.

[Nick Chubb]

She actually. She has to land and then do this.

[Martine]

I think I have seen this.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

I think I've seen this.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you like the Olympics?

[Martine]

I've never been.

[Nick Chubb]

Maybe on tv.

[Martine]

I didn't watch this year.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, me either.

[Martine]

But I had friends that were there in Paris. They were telling me how it started. They were like, oh, my God, this, like it ruined the city. And it was like, allegedly that Gaga performance was like pre taped. So while it was happening, she wasn't even on the stage.

[Wanda Sykes]

Not like us, though. We're alive.

[Martine]

Not like this. Not like this. I'm here. I reached through my face. No. Apparently it was just, like, such a bust with the weather and. I can't believe they made people swim in the Seine.

[Nick Chubb]

I know, it's crazy. Those people are all going to grow, like, an extra limb.

[Martine]

Someone got sick. Couldn't even, like, compete.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Because of the, like, Pollution. Pollution, yes.

[Nick Chubb]

Poo.

[Martine]

Poop. Poop.

[Nick Chubb]

How do you say poop?

[Wanda Sykes]

It is a poop.

[Nick Chubb]

It's a poop. Poop. Poop in the Seine.

[Martine]

I don't know how to say poo in French.

[Nick Chubb]

Merde.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh.

[Martine]

Oh, yeah. That's what?

[Nick Chubb]

Shit.

[Martine]

Shit.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

That's my mom's swear when she gets really mad.

[Wanda Sykes]

Quietly.

[Sam Taggart]

Shit.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, I love when you erase the eye.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. Shit.

[Martine]

You're like, oh, God. She's really. It's like. Oh, it's bad. It's like the key. It's like, she doesn't have our keys. We're, like, locked out or shit.

[Nick Chubb]

Shit. You know, Is she one of those people that. She would hate me softer when she's angry rather than louder.

[Martine]

Oh, yeah. No, she's not a yeller.

[Nick Chubb]

She's not interesting.

[Martine]

That's why I'm like this.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you ever raise your voice?

[Wanda Sykes]

Would you like to yell at us?

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, please.

[Martine]

I would love to yell at both of you.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, okay. Yeah, go.

[Wanda Sykes]

We're open to it now. Sure.

[Nick Chubb]

Or if you want to surprise us during the episode.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, that could be fun.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Whenever you feel like yelling at us.

[Wanda Sykes]

When we say the magic word.

[Nick Chubb]

What do you want? The magic word is poop in the Seine.

[Wanda Sykes]

But there's no way we're gonna get back to poop in the Seine.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, okay. So we have to think of a word that we might say.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wait, who are you?

[Martine]

Listeners? Are they, like, kids? Are they.

[Nick Chubb]

You're really small children.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

You know what? Also, when you said, like, we're an.

[Nick Chubb]

Educational show for small children.

[Martine]

No. It feels like you're teaching me a lot.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Martine]

And we talk about poop. Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Our first segment is called the letter B. And in this segment, we say words with the letter B for all our kid listeners.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, that's right. That's right. Yes. Sorry, I forgot. I forgot for a second that that was our first segment.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Box.

[Wanda Sykes]

Berry.

[Nick Chubb]

Ball.

[Wanda Sykes]

Ballpark.

[Nick Chubb]

Ball. Balloon.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you have any B words?

[Martine]

Boobs.

[Nick Chubb]

Martinez, we're gonna have to cut that kid show.

[Martine]

Oh, right. Breasts.

[Nick Chubb]

Breasts.

[Martine]

Hasn't every child already, like, seen one? Both of them. Really?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

One to two years.

[Martine]

For years.

[Wanda Sykes]

True.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. A year. Oh, I guess. If they've breastfed.

[Martine]

Were you breastfed?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, but not for years. You were not breastfed?

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay, judgment.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, I don't know. I just figure, you know, all American Midwest, like that screams breastfeeding.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, I don't know. Maybe. I don't know.

[Nick Chubb]

You. You don't know if you were breastfed? Sorry, I know I'm. I know I'm attacking you right now, but is it.

[Martine]

How's your immune system?

[Wanda Sykes]

Amazing.

[Martine]

Okay, no problem.

[Wanda Sykes]

Have you never asked George how his immune system is?

[Nick Chubb]

Terrible. And yet I was breastfed.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

Were you breastfed, and how's your immune system?

[Martine]

Mine's okay. And I was breastfed.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

What were you drinking?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

What the hell?

[Wanda Sykes]

Gatorade, mostly. Wow.

[Martine]

Corn. Corn milk.

[Wanda Sykes]

Corn milk.

[Nick Chubb]

So shocking.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, I don't know. I think the real answer is I don't know.

[Nick Chubb]

You don't know?

[Wanda Sykes]

I think before I was like, probably not, but then I'm like, well, I guess I don't know.

[Nick Chubb]

I have a question for you. Why was your assumption no?

[Wanda Sykes]

Because it doesn't sound right.

[Nick Chubb]

Because you're like, that's my mom. Why would. Why would she be feeding me her breath? Yeah. This would have been when you were a baby.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, I get that, but I think. No, but I don't know.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you? Okay, sorry. I can stop pushing this.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, I don't. Should I call her?

[Martine]

Text her? Text her, and then maybe she'll text back.

[Nick Chubb]

It's funny. How do I know? I just know.

[Martine]

I was told.

[Nick Chubb]

I was definitely. I was told, and I feel like there are, like, photos, and, like, she also.

[Martine]

There's photos. Yeah. Yeah, I've seen those.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. That was where it leaked. My mom on the Internet.

[Nick Chubb]

Me.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

You post them.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, that was my one secret that I was trying to keep. It's that I was breastfed as a child.

[Wanda Sykes]

But what's great is that you.

[Nick Chubb]

But then it was leaked. It was leaked.

[Wanda Sykes]

And now you have another.

[Nick Chubb]

And now I have a new secret that I'll never tell.

[Wanda Sykes]

Martine.

[Martine]

I like talking about both of you more.

[Wanda Sykes]

Do you.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, do you want to ask us?

[Wanda Sykes]

Do you want to interview us?

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, I would actually love that because, you know, we were saying this before. You look like an interviewer with the gorgeous hair, the mic, and the clock behind you.

[Wanda Sykes]

And the clock behind.

[Martine]

No, it's not in the frame.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay, well, the listeners will just have to.

[Martine]

How much is in the frame?

[Nick Chubb]

Just your eyes, just.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, it's a close up of your mouth. Like the 212 video.

[Martine]

My God. Gorgeous. Zoom in.

[Nick Chubb]

I would love to be interviewed by Marti. Should we just, like, do our first segment and then how low is it going?

[Martine]

Oh, well. Well, I'll be more aware of my posture. I thought it was just my mouth. Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

I think Martine should ask each of us one interview question, and then we should do our first segment.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay, Martine, ask each of us one interview question.

[Martine]

I hurt your stomach.

[Nick Chubb]

I know. We're hungry.

[Wanda Sykes]

We're hungry.

[Martine]

I'm hungry, too. I didn't eat. That's why I was late.

[Sam Taggart]

Can I say something?

[Nick Chubb]

You know, it's usually. You usually don't comment if you hear someone's stomach growling, but I actually really appreciate that you did.

[Martine]

Yeah, it was. She's like.

[Nick Chubb]

I think it was a pretty demure growl.

[Martine]

Yeah, she was cute. Well, I didn't prepare for task, either of you questions.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, that's true.

[Martine]

I did. I did do. I did the homework, though.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, you're like, I did the homework.

[Martine]

Straight things.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, but that's different.

[Nick Chubb]

We'll get to that.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, that's different.

[Martine]

That's not the We're.

[Wanda Sykes]

This is sort of the preamble. Okay.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Anything goes.

[Martine]

What were kind of icons growing up that you. Stop laughing.

[Wanda Sykes]

I can't help it.

[Nick Chubb]

Shh.

[Martine]

That you.

[Wanda Sykes]

It's funny.

[Martine]

Still look up to.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, icons growing up that we still look up to.

[Martine]

Like, as a child. You love them.

[Nick Chubb]

This is so interesting because I have.

[Wanda Sykes]

One that I don't. That's funny. Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

What is it?

[Wanda Sykes]

I remember being, like, reading a book on Lance Armstrong when I was, like, in middle school and being like, damn, this guy is really a good guy.

[Martine]

The bicyclist. Cyclists.

[Wanda Sykes]

Cyclist, yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Who it turns out is bad.

[Wanda Sykes]

And then, yeah, he was, like, doping and stuff.

[Nick Chubb]

And he cheated on Sheryl Crow.

[Wanda Sykes]

And he cheated on Sheryl Crow.

[Martine]

I didn't know he dated Sheryl Crow.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

If it makes you happy. Do you think that song's about him? It's about cycling.

[Wanda Sykes]

I think it's about.

[Nick Chubb]

It's about him cycling.

[Martine]

It can't be that bad.

[Nick Chubb]

He's like, that's what inspired him to start doping is he heard the song by Sheryl Crow. If it makes you happy.

[Wanda Sykes]

Cause winning really made him happy.

[Nick Chubb]

Actually, it's about doping. If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. And he was like, oh, you're right, girl. And then he just kept on doping.

[Wanda Sykes]

He's like, time to live my life.

[Nick Chubb]

Time to live strong Enough judgment. Okay. No one's gonna comment on Time to live strong.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, that was good.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay, thanks. Jesus Christ. So I guess icons that I liked growing up. I do find it interesting that you said that you still look up to implying that an icon is someone you look up to. Cause I'm wondering.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, I think a child has bad taste in icons.

[Nick Chubb]

Because if my icon was Madonna, does that mean I look up to her? Or I don't want to be like Madonna, but she is an icon to me.

[Martine]

You don't?

[Nick Chubb]

I don't think so.

[Martine]

At the time, did you though? You mean, like, not.

[Wanda Sykes]

But were you inspired by, like, her energy?

[Nick Chubb]

I was inspired by her.

[Martine]

Which album?

[Nick Chubb]

I would say. I mean, she was an icon before this, but I do think American life was really big for me.

[Martine]

So underrated.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes. So underrated was really big for me. It was when I realized that she had an alt sensibility, that she wasn't just a girl next door pop star that also liked, you know, putting a whole bottle of water in her mouth.

[Martine]

Who did what?

[Nick Chubb]

She did that in the sex documentary.

[Martine]

Oh, yeah. When she could show you her. Is that why you wanted to be like her?

[Nick Chubb]

Kind of. Maybe I want Truth or dare.

[Martine]

You were like, that's me. Honestly, As a child.

[Nick Chubb]

As a child being like, wait, my icon is Madonna in truth or dare, simulating a blowjob on a water bottle.

[Martine]

You understood that that was fashion.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes, exactly.

[Martine]

Wow.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And then American life solidified it, and then now she's still my icon.

[Wanda Sykes]

Sure.

[Nick Chubb]

But do I want to be like her?

[Martine]

Well, most icons, they're like ideologies, right?

[Nick Chubb]

Exactly.

[Martine]

That means that they're on a pedestal or there's some kind of.

[Nick Chubb]

What is the Madonna ideology? It's like. It's like, live out loud, like, you.

[Wanda Sykes]

Are the most important person on earth.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Rebel Heart.

[Nick Chubb]

Rebel Heart.

[Martine]

Yeah. Push back.

[Wanda Sykes]

When someone says run, you walk. When someone says walk, you run.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

And you can do. You can do everything you want, and.

[Wanda Sykes]

If you're bad at something that's actually good.

[Nick Chubb]

Mm.

[Martine]

That doesn't matter.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, that doesn't matter because you did it.

[Martine]

Yeah. You did it, Rebel.

[Wanda Sykes]

You did the thing.

[Nick Chubb]

Rebel Heart.

[Martine]

Rebel Heart.

[Nick Chubb]

Rebel Heart is actually kind of a huge idea.

[Martine]

Yeah. I carry that with me.

[Nick Chubb]

Rebel Heart.

[Martine]

It's in my bag here. It's over it.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, it's. You're carrying your Rebel Heart in the postal bag. Yeah. That's amazing.

[Martine]

Actually. No, I'm not gonna show. I have to get something digitized. Let's not talk about it.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

There's so much we're not talking about today.

[Martine]

I know I have control issues. It's something that I'm working, and it's why I was like, I'm gonna ask you questions. And it's why it doesn't make me a great actor.

[Nick Chubb]

First of all, you're an incredible actor.

[Wanda Sykes]

First of all, you're a damn star.

[Nick Chubb]

But say more about your controls.

[Martine]

Needless to say, I came here for that.

[Wanda Sykes]

You remember when you gagged audiences around the globe?

[Nick Chubb]

Audiences around the globe.

[Martine]

See, it's more like. I don't know if that's true. Just cause it's available. I don't think that means people are.

[Wanda Sykes]

But everyone's telling you we're gagging.

[Martine]

Well, my friends are. And that's really what matters. I'm like, you watched it. When my crush watches, I'm like, oh, you watched it.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay. All right. Here's a question for you. Who is an icon you still look up to?

[Martine]

This wasn't part of an agreement. This wasn't part of. You should have said that when we started this. That you also would ask me my questions.

[Nick Chubb]

I'm sensing a pattern here.

[Martine]

Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'm sensing a very. You really easily readable pattern.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. You're very thrown off by surprises. Am I correct in that?

[Martine]

Wow. I mean, as a. Maybe.

[Wanda Sykes]

Maybe.

[Martine]

Maybe I have some trauma that I. Ooh, Ooh. That's like being.

[Wanda Sykes]

Traumatized.

[Nick Chubb]

And now we have a flashback, and it's a surprise birthday party where our Gene walks in the room. There's a big surprise.

[Wanda Sykes]

She's like, tears instantly.

[Martine]

No, honestly. My, my. Oh, my God. What is it? When you're legally allowed to drink in the States?

[Nick Chubb]

21.

[Martine]

21.

[Nick Chubb]

Your 21st birthday.

[Martine]

I turned my 21st birthday in college. I was so excited to drink, right? And no one was around. Like, I texted everyone, like, let's go. Like, I can buy us alcohol. And no one messaged back. Everyone was unavailable, busy or nothing. And so I went to the liquor store and I bought, like, a handle of gin alone. Cause I knew how to make a gin and tonic because that's what my grandmother drinks. And so I'd make those for her. Um, and then I got wasted alone and then got one text from my roommate who brought me to, like, I don't know, above the library. And then all my friends were there with the cake, and they're like, surprise. We didn't forget. But by that point, I was so, like, devastated.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, my God.

[Martine]

By, like, everyone kind of, like, being Unavailable and then drunk. That it kind of. It kind of brought me to, like, a happy medium opposed to, like, the escalation of like.

[Nick Chubb]

So there literally was literally a surprise birthday trauma, and that's why you're traumatized by surprises. But you're saying it wasn't a trauma because it brought you to a happy place.

[Martine]

Yeah, I feel like that's not. That's such, like, an American trauma. Like, that's so, like, you forgot my birthday.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, sure, sure.

[Martine]

It's so not. It's so not a. It's actually not drama at all.

[Nick Chubb]

But here's the thing. What if the trauma is that you succumbed to an American trauma?

[Wanda Sykes]

Wait, that's genius.

[Martine]

You should write that down because you.

[Wanda Sykes]

Were like, I'm above this.

[Nick Chubb]

You said, you're like, I'm above this. I'm not like these stupid Americans. But, oh, my God, I feel trauma because of my surprise birthday party. I thought I was an American college, but I'm as American as apple pie.

[Martine]

You think I'm like a. You think I give apple pie?

[Wanda Sykes]

No, but in that moment, in that moment, I would never, ever say, you give apple pie.

[Nick Chubb]

What dessert would you say Martine gives? Oh, this is interesting. Okay.

[Martine]

Oh, I think I know.

[Wanda Sykes]

You know?

[Martine]

Well, what dessert do you give?

[Nick Chubb]

I think you will give, like, a sorbet that is a. Like a. More of like a minty flavor.

[Wanda Sykes]

You know what I'm getting, don't you think? You know, in, like, in a chocolate commercial, the way they show chocolate like. Like doing this. That's sort of what I think of you as.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, okay. See, to me, it's like, what. It's minimalist.

[Martine]

Once chocolate commercial.

[Wanda Sykes]

You're like the chocolate in a chocolate commercial that's being like, still liquid. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

It's being shaped confection. You're mid shaped confection chocolate.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

So we're going opposite directions. You're going in a more like maximalist chocolate waves, whereas I'm thinking you are giant plate, single scoop of mint sorbet. Get ready. Leaf of mint leaf on the top. Wow.

[Martine]

I do love mint. I do love choc. What kind of chocolate?

[Nick Chubb]

Dark.

[Wanda Sykes]

Dark?

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

I mean, just a little bit. I don't know why, but I'm seeing like a spoon. Like, for you, I'm really seeing a spoon. Whatever it is has to be eaten with a spoon.

[Nick Chubb]

You give spoon.

[Wanda Sykes]

You're giving spoon, and we're gagging on your spoon.

[Martine]

Big spoon, little spoon.

[Nick Chubb]

You're giving. This is interesting. You're giving little spoon with Big spoon energy. So you're the little spoon. That's a top.

[Martine]

Oh, my God. That's real.

[Nick Chubb]

You're little spooning. You're a power little spoon. Okay, so maybe now I want Sorbet.

[Wanda Sykes]

I know.

[Martine]

I'm right here.

[Nick Chubb]

You should have a new drag character named Sorbet.

[Martine]

Sorbet with the T. I say the T though.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Sorbette.

[Nick Chubb]

Sorbet.

[Martine]

Sorbet.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, actually, I like Sorbette with, like, TTE at the end.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, that's very cute.

[Nick Chubb]

I'm Sorbette.

[Martine]

Sorbet. Martine. Sorbette. Nice to meet you. Oh, I do need a new last name.

[Nick Chubb]

You think you're gonna get a new last name?

[Martine]

Well, I'm gonna get married.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, needless to say.

[Nick Chubb]

So then you don't have to worry about what the last name is. It's gonna be your.

[Wanda Sykes]

Or do you not want to take your.

[Nick Chubb]

You don't want to take your.

[Wanda Sykes]

Or do you just want to make up a new one?

[Martine]

I don't know. It would have to be really good. I'd have to.

[Wanda Sykes]

What's an example of a good last name? Not necessarily one for you, but for anyone?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

What makes a last name shine?

[Martine]

I love alliteration.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, don't even get me started.

[Martine]

Nothing better. And short. Honestly, One to two syllables. Nothing longer than that.

[Nick Chubb]

Mint. Oh, Martine Mint.

[Martine]

Martine Mint is successful.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

And beloved.

[Martine]

Fresh.

[Nick Chubb]

She's fresh.

[Wanda Sykes]

She's fresh. Beloved.

[Nick Chubb]

You smell her breath before you see her, and it's minty fresh.

[Wanda Sykes]

When you hear that Martine Mint is coming to town, you're like, oh, my God. That's amazing.

[Nick Chubb]

I haven't seen her since Barcelona.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, my God. I should catch up.

[Martine]

Martineau. I would go to Spain. Yeah, I would go to Spain.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, that's amazing.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, Martin Mint has a place in Spain.

[Martine]

Espana.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Should we do our first segment?

[Nick Chubb]

Sure.

[Fred Warner]

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[Sam Taggart]

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[Nick Chubb]

But I still want to pull up.

[Sam Taggart]

To events Looking nice Abercrombie's latest job of party looks is taking me through the season for dinner with the fam, drinks with the guys, and even New Year's Eve. They have outfits for every occasion. I'm mainly a jeans and T shirt.

[Nick Chubb]

Guy, but Abercrombie has the dressier fits.

[Sam Taggart]

That keep me comfortable. Shop Abercrombie for every night out.

[Unknown]

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[Nick Chubb]

Oh, such.

[Sam Taggart]

A clutch off season pickup. Dave. I know, right? I was worried we'd bring back the same team.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh no, I meant those blackout motorized shades.

[Sam Taggart]

MVP of the room blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds.

[Nick Chubb]

Hard to install.

[Sam Taggart]

No, it's easy. Even you could do it. Nice. I installed these and then got some from my mom, too.

[Nick Chubb]

You fly across the country to do the install? Nope.

[Sam Taggart]

Blinds.com can do it all. All she had to do was pick what she wanted. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install.

[Nick Chubb]

Look at you.

[Sam Taggart]

Hall of fame, son.

[Martine]

Oh.

[Sam Taggart]

I just picked the winning team. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world.

[Martine]

Oh.

[Wanda Sykes]

Blinds.com is the goat.

[Sam Taggart]

The goat shop.

[Wanda Sykes]

Up to 45% off select styles, plus.

[Nick Chubb]

A free professional measured and a 100%.

[Unknown]

Satisfaction guarantee during the blinds.com year end blowout.

[Nick Chubb]

Up to 45% off [e-mail] blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply.

[Wanda Sykes]

Martine, I.

[Martine]

Does that make you nervous?

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, yes.

[Martine]

Is this in the shot?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

This is a video.

[Wanda Sykes]

This is a piece. And if you think we're uncomfortable with silence, you're dead wrong. We actually love this stuff.

[Martine]

Burger. Burger. That's my stomach.

[Nick Chubb]

Wow. Hi, everyone. This is George. I'm in the process of editing the episode, and at this stage, I feel the need to provide some context for those listening audio only and not getting the full video content. So basically what just happened is Martine very slowly and intentionally picked up a glass of water and took a sip of water. And this is our reaction to that. That was a beautiful piece.

[Wanda Sykes]

Thank you for that, Martin.

[Martine]

I work in the MoMA.

[Nick Chubb]

Martine Mint's famous piece, Sip.

[Wanda Sykes]

Sip.

[Martine]

Sip. Wow.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, Sip changed the game. I remember where I was when I first saw Sip.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, that's because we were both across from Martine, actually.

[Nick Chubb]

That's right. Yes.

[Martine]

Yeah. There's like pre and post sip.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Martine]

Politically.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yes.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

She premiered it in Copenhagen, but in an empty room. So no one saw it.

[Wanda Sykes]

No one witnessed it.

[Nick Chubb]

It was just you in an emp.

[Martine]

It wasn't about being seen. It's about a feeling.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. Sipping.

[Martine]

Yeah, it's about sipping.

[Nick Chubb]

People always ask Martine, you know, what is SIP about? And she's always been very adamant about this. It's about sipping. And people say, no. It's about globalization.

[Wanda Sykes]

It's about commercialism. It's about global flow of capital.

[Nick Chubb]

Neoliberal systems of waste management.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yes.

[Nick Chubb]

But you have a very rigorously formalist approach. You say it is quite simply about the sip.

[Martine]

I mean, I haven't spoken about it really.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, ever.

[Martine]

I've never really.

[Wanda Sykes]

Would you like to speak on it now?

[Martine]

No, that's not really what the work is about. It's about your. What you bring to it, your perception.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wow.

[Nick Chubb]

I guess it's Each person has a different relationship to sipping.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's true for me. It's about childhood innocence, of course, and the loss of it, needless to say, because when you were a child, you sip with a straw.

[Nick Chubb]

You know, when you were a child, you don't know if you were breastfed. And so I think maybe what it's bringing up for you is that, you know, you were sipping something I want you to remember, but you don't know from what or how, and you're afraid to know.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, I'm afraid to send a text to my mom that says, was I breastfeeding?

[Martine]

Text her, text her. I can text her, text her. Do you want to give me.

[Wanda Sykes]

Hey, it's Martine from Fantasma. I have.

[Martine]

So I am like, oh, my God. I'm always texting people that I shouldn't be. Like, people that help on projects that. It's like, how do you even have her number? Like, if there was someone who was supposed to get me here today and I had their number, I would be texting them when I leave, like, hey, this is Martine from. From the radio. And they'd probably be like, yeah. Or usually they don't respond.

[Wanda Sykes]

How does that make you feel?

[Martine]

Makes me feel like I tried.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

The person in charge makes me feel like a rebel heart doesn't respond.

[Wanda Sykes]

A misunderstood rebel heart.

[Martine]

It's like production, Especially if they're cute. I'm always blurring the lines.

[Wanda Sykes]

When someone's holding a boom mic. It's really hard for me not to find them really hot.

[Martine]

Really?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Is it. Cause, like, it's a posture thing or.

[Wanda Sykes]

It's a posture. It's a type. The type of man that would hold a boom mic for a really long time.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'm, like, so strong, resilient. So resilient. So supportive. And plus, sometimes the shirt goes up.

[Martine]

Oh, my God. I was gonna say it's usually ass or belly button.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

It's like crack or belly button is one or the other.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'll take both.

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

But I never cross the line.

[Martine]

Not yet.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's what everyone says.

[Martine]

Not yet. TikTok. TikTok. I think tomorrow. I think tomorrow's gonna be the day.

[Nick Chubb]

What's tomorrow?

[Wanda Sykes]

I don't know, but Martine has a feeling.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh.

[Martine]

I mean, aren't you doing that big boom project tomorrow?

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, I'm doing my show, Night of a Thousand Booms.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Where I'm auditioning. I'm sort of trying to make boom mic holders get a chance in the Spotlight. So I booked the bell house, and we're having, you know, eight minute sets. People come out and hold the boom mic. It's gonna be awesome.

[Nick Chubb]

Interestingly, the people holding the actual boom mics necessary for the event are all weak gay guys.

[Wanda Sykes]

So it's to sort of flip the script.

[Nick Chubb]

It's to flip the script. We have these, you know, strong, burly men on stage. They're holding fake boom mics.

[Martine]

Oh.

[Nick Chubb]

And then little twinkie gay guys are, like, holding the boom mics for a little bit.

[Martine]

That's kind of my time.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, gay guys.

[Martine]

Oh, my God. I love. I love twinks.

[Wanda Sykes]

Really?

[Nick Chubb]

Really.

[Wanda Sykes]

Do you feel sexually. Great question. Or just as pets?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, just a hat.

[Martine]

Furniture? Cars. Yeah. Plants. No, I like them as. As. As objects.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, of course.

[Martine]

I like to objectify them.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wow.

[Nick Chubb]

They make it easy.

[Martine]

Yeah. They're, like asking. They're just begging for it.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

This is the. This is like the little. Little power spoon energy total you're doing now.

[Nick Chubb]

Little spoon, little top spoon power. Little spoon power.

[Martine]

A little spoon. Is that. Does that make it? What is a twink in. In that?

[Nick Chubb]

If you're doming a twink, they're like a butter knife. Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Don't think too hard about it. It's like sip.

[Wanda Sykes]

They're a salad fork.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, they're a salad fork.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Okay, Martine, truth or dare.

[Martine]

Oh, you know it's gonna be dare.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay, Okay.

[Martine]

I can't tell you anything.

[Wanda Sykes]

I dare you to lick your notebook.

[Martine]

This was on the. This was on the train.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's right.

[Martine]

Everyone's watching. Just everyone knows it at home. Everyone's watching.

[Wanda Sykes]

The tension is coming.

[Martine]

I don't want to do it.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay, okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

And yet she's still holding it. Oh, my God, you're bad.

[Martine]

Ew, that was nasty.

[Wanda Sykes]

But it was very rebel heart.

[Nick Chubb]

That was very rebel heart.

[Martine]

No, she wouldn't have done it.

[Nick Chubb]

She would have pushed back Madonna.

[Martine]

Yeah. No one can tell her what to do to.

[Nick Chubb]

Well.

[Wanda Sykes]

Doesn'T famously she do it? I hate to fact check this, but.

[Nick Chubb]

Of course the scene is that someone.

[Wanda Sykes]

Does do it and she does it.

[Martine]

You're right. No, you're right. Okay. You're right. I am.

[Nick Chubb]

Can I ask you a question? Of the two works you've shown Sip and Licking the Notebook, which one?

[Wanda Sykes]

Lick, Lick, Sip and lick.

[Nick Chubb]

Sip and lick. Do you think sip or lick? More kind of like encapsulates who you are as an artist? If you were to pick one work to put in the big Biennale.

[Martine]

In the big Biennale.

[Nick Chubb]

In the Big Biennale. In the Big Biennale. Would you do zipper link? Yes.

[Martine]

Okay. I think I. I've been trying to get out of this box.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Ever since I was born. So I would say nothing can encapsulate moi.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, so you wouldn't pick either. You'd say, I'm not gonna participate in the Big Biennale.

[Martine]

Yeah. I'm not gonna go, wow.

[Nick Chubb]

To be asked to participate in the Biennale.

[Wanda Sykes]

In the Big Biennale, of course, we would all say no to the small Biennale.

[Nick Chubb]

Of course. Well, yes, I can't be contained in that box. But the bigger box, sure.

[Wanda Sykes]

Very reputable.

[Nick Chubb]

That's sort of my approach to my career is I'm not gonna be putting a little box. Slightly bigger one.

[Martine]

Of course.

[Wanda Sykes]

Put me in. When's the move in date?

[Nick Chubb]

Put me in coach. Wow.

[Wanda Sykes]

Should we do our seg.

[Nick Chubb]

Should we do our first segment? Okay, so, Martine, our first. And then after that we'll get into the straight topic. So your homework is gonna pay off.

[Martine]

I know. I'm just aching.

[Nick Chubb]

I really can't believe that Sip and lick are both not gonna be in the Big Biennale.

[Wanda Sykes]

I mean, I think that's what makes Martine such an interesting artist.

[Nick Chubb]

You are one of the most, if not the most interesting artists I've ever met in my life. The first segment is called Straight Shooters. In this segment, we test your familiarity with and complicity in straight culture by text your mom.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'm not gonna do that.

[Martine]

I see you texting someone.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'm looking up my list.

[Nick Chubb]

No, no, we're looking. We're finding our list. So here's the thing, Martine. We're gonna ask you a series of rapid fire questions. You have to choose this thing or this other thing. Don't think about it hard at all. Just whatever your mind gravitates towards.

[Martine]

I'm already nervous.

[Nick Chubb]

I'm nervous then. And that's it. And the one rule is you can't ask any follow up questions about how.

[Wanda Sykes]

The game works or we'll get really, really upset.

[Nick Chubb]

Martine, I want to see you upset.

[Wanda Sykes]

Whatever.

[Nick Chubb]

Mumblecore or Dumbledore.

[Martine]

Dumbledore.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay. Democracy is under attack. Or Damn, Stacy, your mom's a snake.

[Martine]

Sorry, I already. I'm not doing it right.

[Wanda Sykes]

There's no right.

[Martine]

I'm thinking too much.

[Nick Chubb]

I.

[Martine]

It's okay to think democracy.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wow.

[Martine]

Is under attack.

[Nick Chubb]

I got the job. Or a ass Bob.

[Martine]

I really want a bob.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay, Looking expensive or smelling reprehensive.

[Martine]

Looking Expense.

[Nick Chubb]

Object, permanence, Abject carelessness or Ultrecht in the Netherlands.

[Martine]

That one's a. That one's a doozy. Yeah, I heard. Olaplex.

[Nick Chubb]

Olaplex. Final answer, next question.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay. Choo Choo Train or Doo doo Stain.

[Martine]

Ooh, this is a good show. What was the first one?

[Wanda Sykes]

Choo Choo train.

[Martine]

Choo Choo Train.

[Wanda Sykes]

Do you want me to repeat the second one?

[Martine]

No.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay.

[Nick Chubb]

Girl. So confusing. Remix featuring Lord or Burr. It's so freezing. It's gonna break the record.

[Martine]

I like Lorde, Period.

[Wanda Sykes]

Period. Okay. Do re mi FA so la ti do or did you watch? I saw the TV glow.

[Martine]

Do re fab do re mi faso latido.

[Wanda Sykes]

Love it.

[Nick Chubb]

Wow.

[Wanda Sykes]

Beautiful.

[Martine]

Can you sing?

[Wanda Sykes]

Not well, but I try.

[Martine]

I. No, no, no.

[Wanda Sykes]

That sounds like someone who can sing. I think you can when someone's like, no.

[Martine]

Oh, no.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's so singer.

[Nick Chubb]

Your thought is like, you want to say yes because you know you can. But then you're like, well, they're gonna ask me to sing.

[Martine]

It's so embarrassing. Singing is, like, maybe one of the most embarrassing things you can.

[Wanda Sykes]

Should we all do it?

[Nick Chubb]

Do you secretly think you should have been a pop star?

[Martine]

Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, not so secret.

[Nick Chubb]

Is that the big secret? Oh, my God. Secrets reveal.

[Martine]

I can't talk about this.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, okay. Sorry, sorry. I know the ones.

[Wanda Sykes]

I mean, I'm familiar with Martine's whole oeuvre.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, of course. We all are.

[Wanda Sykes]

I mean, I've seen the music videos.

[Nick Chubb]

I have not seen the music videos.

[Martine]

I took them down. I tried to take them down. At least there's some I can't take down.

[Wanda Sykes]

But you're lucky I'm one of the few.

[Martine]

Everyone's gonna have to wait till it comes out of the vault to see those.

[Wanda Sykes]

Martine Vault, the retrospective.

[Nick Chubb]

What about that as a last name? Martine Vault.

[Martine]

Martine Vault.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wow, that sounds really wealthy.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. I love Martine Vault.

[Wanda Sykes]

Martine Vault is much more serious than Martine Mint.

[Nick Chubb]

Martine Mint introduces herself. Martine Valt doesn't even introduce herself, you know, when she's. She walks in and you know that. That's Madame Vault. Yes.

[Martine]

Madam Valt is locked in the vault. There's Swiss citizenship involved.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yes.

[Martine]

Yeah, well, it's in Vault.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, it's beautiful imagery because of how much is locked away, how many secrets are hidden in there.

[Martine]

That is gorgeous.

[Nick Chubb]

She has not spoken once until she writes her big memoir at the age of 87 called Unlocking the Vault.

[Martine]

Dissolving.

[Nick Chubb]

Dissolving.

[Wanda Sykes]

Dissolving.

[Martine]

Dissolving the vault.

[Nick Chubb]

Wow. Wow. To mix metaphors like that is so.

[Wanda Sykes]

Martine Vault can never.

[Nick Chubb]

To have the metaphor locked and ready, locked and loaded. But then instead of just saying, like, unlocking, opening to go. Dissolving the Vault.

[Wanda Sykes]

Dissolving the vault.

[Nick Chubb]

That is the Martine Vault. And that is, I would say, even more. Even more subversive than Sip or lick is naming the book Dissolving the Vault.

[Wanda Sykes]

You said you're uncomfortable.

[Nick Chubb]

You're uncomfortable.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Say more.

[Wanda Sykes]

Let's explore that.

[Martine]

I don't think I'm used to people like talking about me this much.

[Wanda Sykes]

Really?

[Martine]

In front of me.

[Wanda Sykes]

Sure, yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

We do that.

[Wanda Sykes]

And yet I feel like you're the toast of the town. You know what I mean?

[Nick Chubb]

You're gaining power as we're talking about you, and I can sense it.

[Wanda Sykes]

I think what you should do with the power is, you know, just wield it as ethically as you can.

[Martine]

Right.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Maybe open up a school.

[Martine]

Oh, the Vault School.

[Wanda Sykes]

The Vault for girls for Dolls. For dolls.

[Nick Chubb]

The Vault School for Dolls.

[Wanda Sykes]

It does sound like you're locking them away, unfortunately.

[Nick Chubb]

Vault school for dolls.

[Martine]

Yeah, there's. We have to keep you. You have to keep the dolls safe. Lock them away.

[Wanda Sykes]

We're doing this for your own good.

[Martine]

Before the government does.

[Nick Chubb]

Martine Vault has not spoken once in her life, but then suddenly, she opens the Vault School for Dolls and publishes her memoir, dissolving the Vault. And then she's disappeared again forever. Okay, Martine, I do. I know you have your homework prepared, and I know we've edged you now for 45 minutes, so I think it's time we want to know what straight topic have you brought and what makes it straight?

[Martine]

Okay.

[Wanda Sykes]

And it's. Yeah. And before, you almost said something like straight topic, so if there's plural, that's fine.

[Nick Chubb]

That's totally fine. It's so up to you.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, we don't really have rules here.

[Martine]

Fun. I mean, it felt like you had rules when I came in.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh. Oh, like what?

[Martine]

Take your shoes off? Wash your hands? You made me change my pants.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, they weren't up to code.

[Martine]

They weren't small enough.

[Wanda Sykes]

They didn't have enough reflective tape.

[Martine]

You wanted Velcro.

[Wanda Sykes]

We have to be able to see you at all times.

[Nick Chubb]

We require all our guests to be in head to toe Velcro.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, you're stuck to that chair until someone unpeels you.

[Nick Chubb]

Anyway, the show's over. Let's come down, unpeel the guests.

[Martine]

Yeah. Unhook her.

[Nick Chubb]

Unhook her.

[Martine]

I feel like I got the assignment wrong.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's okay.

[Nick Chubb]

How did you interpret a way to get it wrong.

[Martine]

Like straight things.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Nick Chubb]

It.

[Martine]

Rulers, Perfect.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay.

[Martine]

Grids, perfect.

[Wanda Sykes]

So you mean like straight lines?

[Martine]

Columns, Stripes. Knives.

[Wanda Sykes]

Knives have curves.

[Martine]

Nails, nails.

[Nick Chubb]

Human nails or a nail that you hit.

[Martine]

Graph paper. All straight lines. That's what I. Oh, but you meant sexuality wise. Like homosexual.

[Nick Chubb]

Heterosexual.

[Martine]

Heterosexual.

[Wanda Sykes]

Like colloquial. Also known as straight.

[Martine]

Why would you expect me to know anything about that.

[Nick Chubb]

Sam?

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, through your years of study, of course.

[Martine]

Yeah, right.

[Nick Chubb]

I did hear you. It is fascinating wanting a husband to take his last name. That seems very straightforward.

[Martine]

I said married.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, that's right.

[Martine]

I said I would get married.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh. But it could be a man or a woman or.

[Martine]

Any echo to that.

[Nick Chubb]

Anyone? It could be who, What?

[Martine]

It could be who, what, where, when?

[Wanda Sykes]

Why?

[Martine]

It could be they.

[Nick Chubb]

It could be they.

[Martine]

Could. Them, sure. It could be.

[Nick Chubb]

Woof, woof. Oh, bark.

[Martine]

Now.

[Nick Chubb]

An interspecies relationship.

[Martine]

I'm open to furries. I'm open to. I'm just kind of open.

[Wanda Sykes]

Totally.

[Nick Chubb]

Did I assume husband without it ever being mentioned? Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Wow. Talk about straight.

[Martine]

I know. Are you both straight?

[Wanda Sykes]

No. We're LGBTQ plus.

[Nick Chubb]

We're LGBTQ plus. Do you know about that? Yeah.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

You have some friends?

[Martine]

My mom's lgbtq. I'm half.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's awesome.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. Well, it only counts if it's your mom's side.

[Martine]

It only counts.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, yeah. It gets transferred through the mom.

[Martine]

Oh, through the breast milk.

[Nick Chubb]

Through the breast milk. But if you weren't breastfed, then I guess you don't know.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Then you're probably heterosexual.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, so maybe some of the breast milk, like, leaked into the water supply.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, how would that happen?

[Wanda Sykes]

Through sewer systems.

[Martine]

Right.

[Wanda Sykes]

So, Martin, you've brought forth rulers.

[Nick Chubb]

Rulers, grids, graph paper, stripes, knives. Now, a knife is interesting. It's not.

[Wanda Sykes]

Let's explore that. What about knife read as physically straight to you.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, because to me, because there is.

[Wanda Sykes]

A straight side, but there's also the curved side.

[Martine]

I don't really think of many knives being, like, curved.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, that seems like erasure on your.

[Nick Chubb]

You think knives are just one straight line.

[Martine]

If you think about a knife, you're.

[Wanda Sykes]

Thinking of a skewer.

[Martine]

Oh, maybe.

[Wanda Sykes]

Or perhaps a spear.

[Martine]

A spear. Arrow, maybe.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'm thinking of an arrow.

[Nick Chubb]

I would say a sword is more straight than a knife. A sword. Yeah, because both sides are, you know.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, not all, but not all swords. Of course.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, of course.

[Wanda Sykes]

Many swords have a curve.

[Martine]

Yeah, you're right. I was thinking of, like, a switchblade.

[Nick Chubb]

And it's like, oh, I see. Not like an eating knife. Not like a steak knife.

[Martine]

I was just thinking about the knives I have around the house.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Switchblades.

[Martine]

Yeah. All the switchblades I have around the house.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. I remember when you had us all over for steak one night, and when you brought out the steak knives, they were just switchblades. I thought that was really cool. It was so New York. Yeah.

[Martine]

I've never been to my house. Oh, I'm gonna go. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, don't apologize.

[Nick Chubb]

Are there. I'm seeing you look more. Are there more?

[Martine]

I did. They're wrong. I crossed them out. Poles. I crossed out poles. I crossed out runways.

[Wanda Sykes]

Runways are very. Well, not always.

[Martine]

I know.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh. Cause runways can bend. Can. Huh?

[Wanda Sykes]

Huh? Drat dang.

[Martine]

I have dated men. Straight men.

[Wanda Sykes]

Do you like it?

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah. Do you like it?

[Martine]

Yeah. It's just. It's just different.

[Wanda Sykes]

Sure.

[Nick Chubb]

Than women.

[Martine]

Than women.

[Nick Chubb]

And.

[Martine]

And twinks.

[Nick Chubb]

Twinks.

[Wanda Sykes]

And twinks.

[Martine]

And furries.

[Wanda Sykes]

And furries. Have you dated a furry?

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

How was that?

[Martine]

Really fun. Really sweet. It was hard. They, like, didn't want to leave the house.

[Nick Chubb]

Right. Of course. Were they outdoor trained?

[Martine]

No, they. It's like at home, it was. It was like a double life. It was like living with a spy or something. It's like at home, they could be themselves and, you know, covered in fur. And then it just. I don't know, they're worried about the being judged or something.

[Nick Chubb]

How would you rank from gay to straight? Men, women, twinks, furries?

[Martine]

I wouldn't. I just wouldn't do that.

[Nick Chubb]

That's fair.

[Martine]

What is all this measuring? Oh, did I say ruler?

[Nick Chubb]

Yes.

[Wanda Sykes]

That was the first one you said. Yeah. I'm feeling traumatized.

[Nick Chubb]

Like, surprise birthday style.

[Martine]

Because you're reflecting on yourself like your.

[Nick Chubb]

Can I ask your personhood?

[Martine]

Oh, are we.

[Nick Chubb]

How do you think we've been as hosts during this episode?

[Martine]

Another measurement surprise.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you think we're obsessed with measuring?

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

Wow. I guess it's true. We are.

[Wanda Sykes]

But I don't consider it measuring. I consider it reflection.

[Nick Chubb]

Reflection.

[Martine]

Oh, reflection.

[Wanda Sykes]

Cause I'm not looking for a number. I'm not looking between 1 and 10. I'm looking for a feeling.

[Nick Chubb]

You're turned off by our lack of self possession. We are like that furry that's not able to go to the grocery store.

[Wanda Sykes]

You think we don't have rebel heart anymore?

[Nick Chubb]

We don't think we don't have rebel hearts. You think we don't have rebel hearts? We know we have rebel hearts.

[Wanda Sykes]

Did you Hear how comfortable we were with the silence.

[Nick Chubb]

We're so rebel heart. I see what's going on here. You walk in here, you came in here on our podcast, and you're thinking, oh, God, these guys don't have.

[Wanda Sykes]

These guys are so hard.

[Nick Chubb]

They don't even have rebel hearts. They don't even know what it means.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, they were like, oh, they're doing a podcast on straight culture. They don't have herbal heart.

[Nick Chubb]

They don't have herbal hearts.

[Wanda Sykes]

I'll show them.

[Nick Chubb]

I'll show them. I'll bring in avant garde topics that are straight literally instead of straight figuratively. And they won't even know what to.

[Wanda Sykes]

Do, and they'll have to eat their damn dude.

[Nick Chubb]

I'll do sip and I'll do lick, and they'll have some stupid bullshit to say about it because I don't even get the point of my art. And now here they are asking me how they did. You want to know how you did? You did poorly. I'm Martine Valt, and this has been straight over. Is that what you want to say?

[Wanda Sykes]

Is that what you want to say?

[Martine]

Sounds really stressful when you say it.

[Wanda Sykes]

Like, this could be an amazing opportunity, actually, to do that. Yell.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, yeah. Do you want to yell at us?

[Martine]

No, I don't.

[Wanda Sykes]

Ugh. What can we do to make you yell at us?

[Nick Chubb]

It's even more rude to not do it at this point.

[Martine]

Well, usually people pay me to yell at them.

[Nick Chubb]

Oh, yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

We don't know the way, like, in.

[Martine]

Like, a sex way or just an exchanging of hands. Oh, doesn't have to be money. Could be diamonds.

[Wanda Sykes]

I have a granola bar in my bag.

[Martine]

Do you have any diamonds? What kind of watch is that?

[Wanda Sykes]

I knew not to wear any jewelry.

[Nick Chubb]

Martin Valt only gets paid in diamonds.

[Martine]

Yes. Some kind of conflict diamond.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you have any conflict diamonds?

[Martine]

No, I don't usually wear jewelry.

[Nick Chubb]

I have noticed.

[Wanda Sykes]

Oh, is that true?

[Nick Chubb]

Wow.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wow.

[Martine]

No.

[Nick Chubb]

Is it because you just want to.

[Martine]

Let you have a metal detector? When I came in and they made me take everything off in the hallway.

[Nick Chubb]

In the. In the tunnel of hits.

[Martine]

In the tunnel of hits. There. There's a big.

[Wanda Sykes]

When I did the style of riffing. No, we didn't.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you?

[Wanda Sykes]

No, we didn't.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you find that jewelry, like, would take attention? You do. Great.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

It would take attention away from. From the work. From the work.

[Martine]

From the work. Yeah. From sip and.

[Nick Chubb]

From sip and lick.

[Martine]

It's like, let's focus on the work.

[Nick Chubb]

Let's focus on the work. Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, that's powerful because a lot of these artists today, they come.

[Nick Chubb]

No, they're going to the big. They're going to the big Biennale. Literally. Bracelets head to toe.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, they're wearing just bracelets, just bracelets of various types.

[Nick Chubb]

Bracelets everywhere. Bracelets everywhere.

[Martine]

Yeah.

[Wanda Sykes]

God, but I do love a bracelet dress.

[Nick Chubb]

Of course I love a bracelet dress.

[Wanda Sykes]

I can't help it.

[Martine]

I know. Paco Rabanne. Sorry, Rabanne.

[Nick Chubb]

Yes. No, I love a bracelet dress.

[Fred Warner]

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[Sam Taggart]

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[Unknown]

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[Sam Taggart]

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[Wanda Sykes]

And we're back. So this has been George.

[Martine]

This has been George.

[Nick Chubb]

This has been George.

[Wanda Sykes]

This has been George. How are you feeling?

[Nick Chubb]

I am feeling actually so relaxed.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Nick Chubb]

And when I realized that I was being power little spooned, I said, finally I can relax because I no longer have to carry, I no longer have to lead this conversation. I can just observe a master, a mistress at work. And as a longtime fan, you know, people often ask me what icons do I still look up to. And to me, I think it goes back to Martine Vauld. Yeah, I think her early work was instrumental in my coming out and in my wanting to pursue the arts. And then I think her 30 year absence was when I grew as an artist. And now that she's back with the memoir and of course the vault School for Dolls, I think it has empowered me to be more of a rebel heart too.

[Wanda Sykes]

Wow.

[Nick Chubb]

How about you?

[Wanda Sykes]

Hmm. I wish I had such clarity, you know?

[Nick Chubb]

You know, a lot of people do, but very few of us do.

[Martine]

Welcome to the Vault.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, I'm feeling like I'm in the vault, but it's not like a sort of fancy vault. I'm in a vault that's like cobwebs and old books.

[Nick Chubb]

You think so?

[Wanda Sykes]

And I'm a little like, get me out of here.

[Martine]

Well, how long does this go? We could go. We could go anywhere.

[Wanda Sykes]

This is a.

[Martine]

We're in New York.

[Nick Chubb]

The biggest vault of all.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, I think we should step out into Times Square and take this city by storm.

[Martine]

And get lunch.

[Nick Chubb]

And get lunch.

[Martine]

Yeah. I'm hungry.

[Wanda Sykes]

No, same.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, well, it is lunchtime.

[Wanda Sykes]

That's true.

[Nick Chubb]

They don't tell you that at the Vault.

[Martine]

I have something to tell you when we leave lunch.

[Wanda Sykes]

Can you say it now?

[Martine]

No. No.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay. Well, before we go to lunch, should we do our final segment at the Vault? Yes, Martine. Madam Vault, our final segment is called Shout Outs. Oh. Now, in this segment, we pay homage to the great straight tradition of the radio shout out. Yes. So think about, like, shouting out to your squad back home. You're on the radio, you're giving a shout out to something you like.

[Martine]

My town doesn't have any radios.

[Wanda Sykes]

Your town? New York.

[Nick Chubb]

The Vault.

[Martine]

Yeah. My old town. New York. This old town. I.

[Nick Chubb]

That's Gaga and Joker. This old town. Oh, my God.

[Martine]

Did you see that?

[Nick Chubb]

No.

[Martine]

Oh.

[Wanda Sykes]

But we can still infer.

[Nick Chubb]

Did you?

[Martine]

I did.

[Wanda Sykes]

What'd you think?

[Martine]

I have a lot of opinions about it.

[Nick Chubb]

We'll talk about them at lunch.

[Martine]

We'll talk about them at lunch.

[Wanda Sykes]

God forbid we share it now.

[Martine]

Come to lunch. For the other. For the other show.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, that you were.

[Wanda Sykes]

Luncheo lab. Luncheolab, where we talk all things lunch.

[Martine]

We get our lunch on. I.

[Nick Chubb]

We'll do our shout outs first so you can see how it works.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah. Yeah. You can see how it works.

[Martine]

Yeah. Am I afraid to get it wrong? Is that. What am I like?

[Wanda Sykes]

I could not see that being at all possible.

[Nick Chubb]

I don't think so.

[Martine]

Okay, good.

[Nick Chubb]

No, you just have to channel your inner vault and Channer. Your inner.

[Martine]

Channer Tatum.

[Wanda Sykes]

Channer Tatum.

[Nick Chubb]

It's like the Goosebumps. Channer Turner.

[Martine]

Yeah, I don't know that.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah, well, it was before your time.

[Wanda Sykes]

They don't have radio in your town.

[Martine]

They don't.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay. Sam, do you have one? I can do one.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah, you go for it.

[Nick Chubb]

Okay. I might lean into the vault of it all. I'll lean into the vault more Vault. Heavy shout out. Good evening, Vault residents. I want to give a shout out to Siggy's yogurt. You know, for the longest time, I have been a Faye. Greek yogurt girl. I have said, going to support my culture. Greek culture and support a Greek Owned company, Faye, but recently I rediscovered Siggy's Icelandic yogurt and specifically the acai and berry flavor. We're talking 15 grams of protein per cup, mama, and I am having one every day before I leave the house. It is delicious. It is custardy. It is the exact right texture and consistency, and I am absolutely living for it every day of my young life.

[Martine]

Please hang up and try again.

[Nick Chubb]

Thank you.

[Wanda Sykes]

I would like to give a shout out to Martine. Yes. I have known you for a while, and you have always surprised me and in so many different ways. And in a way, I love following your journey and saying, oh, wow, oh, wow, oh, wow. And it's always brought me great joy to observe, to watch, and to.

[Martine]

Run.

[Wanda Sykes]

Into you, even at a party and say, oh, my gosh. And Martine was there. God, I say that all the time. I say, and Martine was there. And, you know, I'm addicted to it. And I want to say that the way that you. I've known you for a long time, and yet you are a mystery. And this podcast, I was like, the mystery will be solved. And of course, what a fool I was and am. The mystery will never be solved. And I should stop trying to open the vault and just embrace. The vault is locked.

[Martine]

Please hang up and try again. I'm sorry. I couldn't pay attention because you were texting during that.

[Wanda Sykes]

It wasn't important.

[Martine]

I was distracted.

[Nick Chubb]

I know. I'm sorry. I was opening my own personal vault.

[Martine]

That's so beautiful.

[Wanda Sykes]

The yogurt.

[Nick Chubb]

The yogurt.

[Martine]

The yogurt was so beautiful.

[Nick Chubb]

Well, you weren't paying attention to Sam's. But the yogurt was really beautiful.

[Wanda Sykes]

Congrats on the yogurt.

[Nick Chubb]

Yeah.

[Martine]

And.

[Nick Chubb]

And I'm sorry. I was. I'm sorry. I was tired texting.

[Martine]

No, don't apologize.

[Wanda Sykes]

Apologize to me.

[Nick Chubb]

In my defense, it was really important.

[Martine]

Right? Yeah, I bet.

[Wanda Sykes]

Okay, now if you have, I won't.

[Nick Chubb]

Text during yours, and I'm gonna make direct eye contact the entire time.

[Wanda Sykes]

Me as well.

[Martine]

I'm so tired.

[Nick Chubb]

Of the drama of.

[Wanda Sykes]

The fakes and the phonies.

[Nick Chubb]

Of the fakes and the phonies.

[Martine]

Yeah. Just like every day.

[Wanda Sykes]

Totally.

[Nick Chubb]

Of just the bullshit of the industry.

[Martine]

Yeah. Just like this fucking town getting through this town.

[Nick Chubb]

This vault ass town.

[Martine]

I want to shout out my locksmith.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

For showing me how to break into my apartment using a credit card because now I don't have to pay to hire him back. In a way, it was so generous because it, like, dissolved his his job.

[Wanda Sykes]

Mm. Like. Like filmmakers getting really into AI.

[Martine]

Oh, my God.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

Like artists just using AI all the time. Yeah, it's the same. It's exactly the same.

[Wanda Sykes]

Yeah.

[Martine]

If we were to measure the two.

[Wanda Sykes]

With a ruler.

[Martine]

With a ruler.

[Nick Chubb]

I would say you're catching on.

[Martine]

Yeah. I'm learning to do this. You're teaching me. You're.

[Wanda Sykes]

Don't little spoon us. We.

[Nick Chubb]

We know what you're up to.

[Wanda Sykes]

We know what you're up to.

[Nick Chubb]

Madam Vault.

[Martine]

I. I would love to shout out Brooklyn Ball Factory.

[Nick Chubb]

What do they make there?

[Martine]

They make balls. They make rice balls. Onigiri. So good. Oh, my God, the spicy salmon. Honestly, all of them? All of them.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, do they have a Times Square location?

[Martine]

They just opened up a new spot. There's the OG which is in Williamsburg, and I think they just opened up a new location somewhere in the city, but I haven't been there yet. But they're so cute. Everyone that works there is so cute. And sometimes when I miss home, I go there.

[Wanda Sykes]

Well, Martine, this has been a really interesting episode.

[Martine]

Oh, no.

[Nick Chubb]

Do you think you'll submit this episode for the big Banal as you're trying to reinvent yourself and trying to move past sip and lick?

[Martine]

No.

[Wanda Sykes]

Podcast ends now.

[Nick Chubb]

Want more? Subscribe to our Patreon for two extra episodes a month. Discord Access and more by heading to patreon.com Stradiolab and for all our visual learners.

[Wanda Sykes]

Free full length video episodes are available on our YouTube.

[Nick Chubb]

Now get back to work.

[Wanda Sykes]

Stradia Lab is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money players network and iHeart.

[Nick Chubb]

Podcasts, created and hosted by George Severis and Sam Taggart.

[Wanda Sykes]

Executive produced by Will Ferrell, Hansani and Olivia Aguilar.

[Nick Chubb]

Co produced by Bay Wang.

[Wanda Sykes]

Edited and engineered by Adam Avalos.

[Nick Chubb]

Artwork by Michael Fails and Matt Grubb.

[Wanda Sykes]

Theme music by Ben Kling.

[Nick Chubb]

You wake up, put on your Ray Ban Meta glasses. You're living all in. You realize you need coffee so you.

[Martine]

Say, hey, meta, how do I make.

[Nick Chubb]

A latte brew two shots of espresso? After Meta AI gets you caffeinated, you're ready for some beats.

[Martine]

Hey, meta. Play hip hop music.

[Sam Taggart]

You head to meet some friends but.

[Nick Chubb]

Can'T remember the place.

[Martine]

Hey, meta.

[Nick Chubb]

Call Eva Ray Ban Meta glasses, the next generation of AI glasses. Just say hey, meta. To harness the power of Meta AI, shop now at meta.com smartglasses hey, comedy fans.

[George Severis]

The funniest comedians in the world are on tour and you can get tickets to see them live. Near you laugh at the biggest names in comedy like Atsuko Okotuka, Chelsea Handler, Jimmy Carr, Kathy Griffin, Matt Matthews, Matt Rife, Sarah Silverman, Sebastian Maniscalco, Stavros Helkias, Wanda Sykes and so many more. All kinds of shows, all kinds of venues, all kinds of funny. Head to livenation.comcomedy to get your tickets today. That's livenation.comcomedy.

[Sam Taggart]

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[Nick Chubb]

The.

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