StraightioLab: Holiday Gift Guide 2025
Podcast: StraightioLab (Big Money Players Network & iHeartPodcasts)
Hosts: George Civeris & Sam Taggart
Release Date: December 16, 2025
Episode Theme: A comedic, satirical, and genuinely creative holiday gift guide, tailored to the multifaceted lives and quirks of their (primarily queer) audience.
Episode Overview
George Civeris and Sam Taggart don their cozy (and only somewhat ironic) holiday personas to offer an irreverent, highly specific, and surprisingly thoughtful 2025 holiday gift guide. True to StraightioLab’s “mirror-to-straight-culture” ethos, the duo roast, psychoanalyze, and ultimately delight in the wildly different gift needs of gays, straights, punks, grad students, activists, menswear guys, moms, and dads—serving ideas that are as funny as they are (occasionally) useful. The episode blends genuine holiday warmth with characteristic biting wit and self-aware intellect.
Key Discussion Points, Gift Ideas & Notable Moments
Setting the Scene: Cozy Mode & Christmas Trees
- [03:31-07:59]
- Both activate “cozy mode”: “Cozy Mode activated. We are just sitting here with a couple of big mugs of hot cocoa. Marshmallows overflowing, yummy, yummy. And we just couldn’t be cozier.” – Sam Taggart (03:36)
- Holiday tree shopping: Sam recounts sad LA trees vs. George’s “perfect symmetrical” Canadian import:
- “The Vermont ones were anemic… Whereas in Canada, they tell the truth.” – George (05:50)
- Christmas tree toppers and phallic symbolism:
- Sam prefers “ironic” toppers (like a Joanne pink cowboy hat or a winter hat ornament): “It’s kinda like, funny, like the tree’s wearing a hat.” – Sam (06:45)
- George: “I don’t like that the angel is actually being fucked by the tree.” (07:07)
Highbrow vs. Lowbrow Joys
- [08:02-11:53]
- George justifies consuming “lowbrow” pleasures like “Heated Rivalry” hockey drama once a month as vital cultural maintenance:
- “It’s important to have one big lowbrow thing per month... it keeps you down to earth; it helps you sort of keep up with the culture.” – George (08:30)
- Discussion of “Heated Rivalry” and the lack of authentic “bear” representation in gay media:
- “It’s specifically an offense to your community, the bear amorous community…they’re saying gay hockey show, can you believe, it’s gonna be these hairy bears…just kidding.” – George (10:19)
- Side-note: Sam’s lowbrow pick for December is Survivor.
- George justifies consuming “lowbrow” pleasures like “Heated Rivalry” hockey drama once a month as vital cultural maintenance:
Official StraightioLab 2025 Holiday Gift Guide
[13:09–54:46]
For the Busy Gay Guy
- GoGurt:
- “For the busy gay guy in your life, get them a GoGurt. Because they’re on the go, work party, work party…it’s affecting their gut health. But with GoGurt, you can eat on the go and still be busy.” – Sam (14:55)
- George riffs on sexualized branding: “Yoplay as a brand really sounds like a direct-to-consumer, kind of pure-for-men type sexual health product…Yoplay is for adult gay men that are consenting to various sexual acts your kids should not know about.” (16:45)
For the Cinephile (Self-Promotion Alert)
- George’s Special, “A Sense of Urgency”
- Available on all platforms (“rent or buy, post about it, tag me”).
- “All proceeds go to Democrats running in purple states with a leftist, very progressive agenda.” – George (18:17)
- Also available as a “punk rock” USB stocking stuffer, creating “that lost media feel.” – Sam (19:37)
For the Aging Punk
- Mini Coffins for Removed Piercings
- “Mini coffins for all the piercings that you are taking out…You have a little memorial, that era of your life is over now.” – Sam (20:37)
- George adds: “You have open casket, you call all your former punk friends…they line up and pay their respects.”
For the Instagram Activist
- Life-Size Cross & Nails (Crucifixion Kit):
- “So they can crucify themselves with the nails…a really beautiful community building experience…You can livestream it.” – George (22:50)
- “As the country turns more right wing, I think having something, you know, religious in imagery is really current and contemporary.” – Sam (23:03)
For Moms Who Say They Want Nothing
- Cameo from Pink:
- “Get her a cameo from Pink. She needs an experience. And what’s a better experience than being talked to by Pink?” – Sam (24:31)
- “Imagine this…Pink goes, ‘Let’s raise a glass for Bonnie.’” – George (24:42)
For the Adult Menswear Guy
- Financial Times Subscription:
- “They don’t know who’s president, but they do know who the creative director of Dior was in the 80s…” – George (26:51)
- “Global politics is kind of like fashion—people are in style, people are out of style.” – George (27:14)
- “It starts as an accessory…and then you get them in.” – George (27:39)
- Related roast: “Do you design clothes, or are you just a guy? This is so weird.” – Sam (28:44)
For the Straight Guy
- Fresh Fleece:
- “Not quite a shirt, not quite a jacket…It also softens them in a literal sense. Is that guy dangerous? No, he’s wearing a fleece.” – Sam (32:35)
- On practicalities: “If they can’t get out of the fleece fast enough, suddenly there’s a gun out and they’re shooting...just because they can't get out of the quarter zip.” – George (33:54-34:02)
For the Rosalia Fan
- Ovid’s “Metamorphoses” (Latin Edition) + Baggie of Ketamine:
- “You’re learning Latin actively, and you’re on ketamine...That’s what Rosalia has to offer us.” – George (34:46)
- On high/low gifting: “Getting someone two things together is an amazing way to tell a story.” – Sam (35:27)
For Bear Party Promoters
- ‘Drawing for the Absolute Beginner’ (Anti-AI Manifesto):
- “AI Party posters have gotten to such a fever pitch that I’m worried…the bear community is forgetting how to make a party poster without using AI…draw with your own hands the biggest guy you can think of…” – Sam (37:00)
- “Bears are the boomers of the gay community…AI came out, bears immediately are using it.” – George (38:21)
- “AI is to bear as what Facebook memes are to boomers.” – Sam (38:49)
- “Just use old porn for the screen!” – Sam (40:05)
For Grad Students (Perpetually Abstracted from Reality)
- Blu-ray of “The Devil Wears Prada”:
- “Pay attention to how people speak, that’s how normal people speak…There’s people from different class backgrounds…it’s all very kind of normal.” – George (41:20)
- “It’s sort of an intro class in reality…” – Sam (41:44)
- Other options: “When Harry Met Sally.”
For Babysitters
- Novelty Phone Cord for iPhone:
- “They’ve lost something in not having a landline to call their boyfriend on anymore…give them a novelty cord…they can be the babysitter of their dreams.” – Sam (43:16)
For the Optimistic Midwest Woman
- Literal Wooden Room-Label Signs:
- “Big, wooden hangable signs say in cursive the name of the room: ‘living room,’ ‘dining room’…they love labeling!” – George (45:27)
- “Kind of postmodern…the Virgil Abloh, ‘dress’ in quotes.” – Sam (46:41)
- Variation: Neon “living room” signage for midwestern gay guys (for porn party mood), or “living room AF” for career gals in the West Village.
For Dads (Who Need Tasks)
- Plant Weeds (Not Weed):
- “Dads are like cattle dogs—if they don’t have something to do, they will experience mental illness…If a dad has a yard full of weeds, he will then spend the rest of his life picking.” – Sam (48:42)
- “It hits the same neurons as hunting and gathering.” – George (49:37)
Reflections & Holiday Desires
- What’s on their personal wish lists?
- Sam: Wants a framed photo of himself hung at his gym (“I feel a sense of almost like mayorship over it.”) (51:35)
- George: Craves a secular, ethically-sound weekly gathering/church—“somewhere to go to kiki with my gals.” (52:14)
- Bonus: Wants goggles that tell him if someone wants to have sex with him—“Just for me.” (52:55)
- Both: Lament absence of instant, frictionless hang-out tech for friendship (“I just wish there was a way to be like looking for now, looking for now. I want to hang out.” – Sam [53:10])
- On social technology: “You could say the desire to make it seamless and frictionless is a sort of late capitalist lie…but to that I say, how about you shut up?” – George (54:24)
- The big-picture mood:
- “This holiday season really is about reflection. Zora Neale Hurston once said, ‘Some years are for asking questions and some years are for answering them.’ And I…think that in many ways, 2025 was for asking and 2026 we’re going to have to find some answers.” – George (55:02)
Notable Quotes & Highlights
- “I don’t like that the angel is actually being fucked by the tree.” – George (07:07)
- “Yoplay is for adult gay men that are consenting to various sexual acts…” – George (16:45)
- “Global politics…is kind of like fashion. There are different leaders…people are in style, people are out of style.” – George (27:14)
- “Not quite a shirt, not quite a jacket. Hello. And it also softens them in a literal sense.” – Sam, on fleeces (32:35)
- “It’s time to go back to basics…and this is sort of an intro class in reality.” – Sam, on gifting The Devil Wears Prada Blu-ray to grad students (41:44)
- “Dads are sort of like cattle dogs where if they don’t have something to do, they will experience mental illness.” – Sam (48:45)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 03:31–07:59 | Cozy mode, Christmas tree hunting, toppers & tree sexuality
- 08:02–11:53 | Highbrow vs. lowbrow, “Heated Rivalry,” bear representation
- 13:09–54:46 | Holiday Gift Guide (see full section above for suggested gifts)
- 14:55 | GoGurt for busy gays
- 17:23 | George’s special “A Sense of Urgency”
- 20:37 | Mini coffins for piercings
- 22:50 | Cross & nails for Instagram activists
- 24:31 | Pink Cameo for moms
- 26:51 | Financial Times for menswear guy
- 32:35 | Fleece for straight guys
- 34:46 | Ovid and ketamine for Rosalia fan
- 37:00 | Drawing book for bear party promoters
- 41:20 | Devil Wears Prada for grad students
- 43:16 | Phone cord for babysitters
- 45:27 | Cursive room-name signs for Midwest optimist
- 48:42 | Plant weeds for dads
- 51:30–54:46 | The hosts’ own wish-lists & reflections
- 55:02 | Zora Neale Hurston quote & year-end wisdom
Tone & Language
- Warm, irreverent, allusive, politically aware, extremely “inside-baseball” in queer and alt cultural references
- Both self-effacing ("just kidding," “I know, I haven’t been going out as much”) and incisively critical
- Constant layering of irony with genuine care (especially about loneliness, longing, and the importance of community)
Final Reflections
This episode crystallizes the heart of StraightioLab: fiercely smart, relentlessly queer, and emotionally honest, even within the silliest banter. Whether suggesting a GoGurt to replenish a hungry twink or a literal crucifixion kit for the Instagram activist, George and Sam highlight the absurdities—yet ultimate joys—of searching for belonging, meaning, and the perfect present.
Happy holidays from StraightioLab—may your season be both “cozy mode activated,” and just the right amount of ironic.