Dead Ernest by Suspense

Summary

Strange Tales (RelicRadio.com)

Episode: Dead Ernest by Suspense (originally aired August 8, 1946)
Date Aired: April 12, 2026
Main Theme:
A gripping tale of mistaken death, lost identity, and the perilous consequences of misunderstanding illness—specifically, catalepsy. "Dead Ernest" spotlights how a series of small, ordinary missteps and petty selfishness plunge a man into mortal danger, while a web of strangers races against time to unravel the truth.

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Episode Overview

This episode, presented by RelicRadio.com as part of its Strange Tales series, revisits the classic radio drama "Dead Ernest," originally broadcast on CBS's Suspense. It's a story about Ernest Bowers, a man with catalepsy—a rare condition where one can fall into a death-like state. After being struck by a car, a string of commonplace accidents, misunderstandings, and self-interested choices nearly lead to his premature embalming. The story unpacks how the mishandling of a single jacket containing a critical explanatory letter puts a life on the line.

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Key Discussion Points and Story Progression

The Accident and Catalepsy Explained

• [03:04] Ernest Bowers is hit by a car while crossing the street. The responders mistake his cataleptic state for death.
• The narration provides details of Ernest's rare condition:
  • "Ernest Bowers suffered from catalepsy, a strange disease. He carried at all times a note...and a bracelet reading, 'Do not embalm me. I am not dead.'"
• The essentials for his safety—a letter and a bracelet—are immediately misplaced:
  • "The identification of his condition...was in the inside pocket of his jacket. The silver chain...had snapped and fallen to the pavement."

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The Lost Items and Chain of Mishaps

The Bracelet

• Two boys, Robert and Tommy, find the silver bracelet with the life-saving inscription.
  • [06:20] "It says do not em… Oh, do not something me. I am not dead. It's Spoolie."
• They contemplate selling or melting down the bracelet, which they eventually do for $1.30.

The Jacket and the Letter

• The jacket with the vital letter is picked up by "Honest Jerry Murdoch," a swap shop owner, who sells it later that day.
  • The cleaning of the jacket erases almost all traces of its grim origin, and its critical contents are nearly overlooked.

Subsequent Finds

• [16:09] Henry Prince buys the coat for $5 at Murdoch's shop, finding the note in the pocket at home.
  • [16:31] Mrs. Prince, reading:

    "This note is carried on my person wherever I go. It is to advise responsible parties that I am a cataleptic, that if it appears as though I am dead, I am not..."

  • Mrs. Prince pushes to act on the letter, beginning a frantic attempt to make contact with the numbers listed.

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Rising Tension: Racing Time and Frustrations

• The hospital prepares to embalm Ernest. Interns and embalmers treat him as unquestionably dead, discussing autopsy and funeral routine.

• The Prince couple attempts to call the wife and doctor, but Dr. Benton's phone is continuously busy (in reality, the receiver is off the hook).

  • Mrs. Prince at [18:16]:

    "You know, I just can't get it out of my head. That guy, whoever he is lying there, people thinking him dead when he ain't maybe doing things to him. What's embalming?"

• Mrs. Prince's persistence sets off a sporadic investigation, as she chases down Honest Jerry for more details and confirmation.

  • [22:08] Murdoch, flustered:

    "I don't know. How can I remember where I got it?"

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Near Catastrophe at the Morgue

• In the morgue, the embalmers converse casually about life and death, unaware a living man lies before them.

  • [26:15] - Embalmer, increasingly uneasy:

    "I could have sworn this guy was breathing on my glasses."

  • Moments of eerie tension as the embalmers sense possible movement or steam on their glasses, nearly dismissing it as nerves or imagination.
    • [26:36]

      "I thought I saw the guy's hand twitching."

    • [27:29]

      "Look at him, Al… Look at his lips. Listen..."

• They halt just as they’re about to begin the procedure, saving Ernest at the final hour.

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Resolution and Aftermath

• The narrator notes the "worth" of Ernest’s life:

  • [28:06]

    "Apparently the life of Ernest Bowers was worth a dollar and 30 cents for a silver bracelet and $5 for a blood stained jacket."

• The real reason for the fatal delay—the busy doctor's phone—was simply a misplaced receiver, not an emergency.

• Ernest himself, upon awakening, calls his wife:

  • [29:09] Mrs. Brawley:

    "Who? Mr. Bowers. They told me he was dead. The hospital called."

  • [29:12] Ernest:

    "Yes, I know, Mrs. Brawley, but they made a mistake."

  • [29:16] Mrs. Bowers, matter-of-factly:

    "Never mind. You just get right home, you hear? Dinner's getting ice cold."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:21] Narrator, on the tragedy of mislaid precautions:

  "The note that could have saved him, the warning he wore, both vanished within minutes of the accident."

• [16:20] Mrs. Prince, demonstrating empathy and the episode's central dilemma:

  "That guy, whoever he is, lying there—people thinking him dead when he ain’t… What’s embalming?"

• [26:15]—Embalmers' chilling exchange:

  "I could have sworn this guy was breathing on my glasses."
  "Oh, is he?"
  "...How could he?"

• [28:06] Narrator on the theme of human pettiness versus fate:

  "The life of Ernest Bowers was worth a dollar and 30 cents for a silver bracelet and $5 for a blood stained jacket."

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Timeline of Critical Events

| Timestamp | Event | |-----------|-------| | 03:04 | Ernest gets hit by a car; mistaken for dead. | | 05:48 | His bracelet and jacket, carrying crucial information, go missing. | | 06:20 | Boys find and melt down the bracelet. | | 10:20 | Honest Jerry sells the bloodied jacket to Henry Prince. | | 16:26 | Mrs. Prince discovers the life-saving letter in the pocket. | | 19:01 | Mrs. Prince embarks on her search to verify the letter's urgency. | | 22:32 | Jerry admits he got the coat only that afternoon, confirming it’s connected to the recent accident. | | 24:34 | Embalmers prepare to begin embalming Ernest; near-discovery of his life. | | 26:36 | Embalmer thinks he sees Ernest's hand move; realizes he's alive. | | 28:52 | Ernest calls home, revealing he's alive—and gets a prosaic response about his dinner. |

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Structure and Tone

The episode masterfully balances everyday realism with chilling suspense, highlighting the domino effect of small, seemingly insignificant actions. The tone runs from matter-of-fact (police, doctors, embalmers) to escalating urgency (Mrs. Prince), ending with a dry domestic anticlimax.

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Conclusion

"Dead Ernest" is a sharply constructed cautionary tale, as relevant now as it was in 1946. It warns of the dangers of assumption, bureaucracy, and self-interest, all packaged with the noir grit and irony of a golden-age radio thriller. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- For listeners and non-listeners alike, this retelling provides a thorough journey through the story’s beats, preserving its suspense and highlighting its darkly comic edge.

Transcript

[Narrator/Actor]

Brain.

[Relic Radio Host]

Relicradio.com presents Tales of the strange and bizarre, the weird and the wicked. Stories not necessarily of the supernatural, but of the unnatural. Join us now for Strange Tales, featuring radio drama at its most mysterious and unusual. Welcome back to Strange Tales. Weird Stories from the Golden Age of Radio. Every Sunday@ Relicradio.com com we're going to hear from Suspense this week. Series that aired from 1942 to 1962 produced over 900 episodes for CBS Radio. Our story today is from August 8, 1946. It's titled Dead Earnest.

[Narrator/Actor]

Now roma wines. R o m a made in california for enjoyment throughout the world. Roma wines presents suspense. Tonight, Roma Wines bring you an all star cast of Hollywood radio players headed by Wally Mayer in Dead Earnest, a suspense play produced, edited and directed for Roma Wines by William Spear. Suspense Radio's outstanding theater of thrills is presented for your enjoyment by Roma Wines. That's R O M a Roma Wines, those excellent California wines that can add so much pleasantness to the way you live. To your happiness in entertaining guests. To your enjoyment of everyday meals. Yes, right now a glass full would be very pleasant as Roma Wines bring you a remarkable tale of suspense. Accident reports submitted to Police Inspector Blandon from Lt. Steve Healy. Place, 15th street and Fourth Avenue. Time, 2:45pm March 11. Remarks. Ernest Bowers, age 34, was crossing intersection as signal light changed from green to red. A car driven by Theodore Toby made a legal right turn from 15th street into 4th Avenue.

Hey.

Hey, look out.

Hey, he hit him. All right, come on now. Come on now.

Let me through here. All right, stand back. Let's have a look. Busy. Hurt bad, officer? I didn't see him. Honestly, I didn't. I had the right of way. He's passed out.

Hey.

One of you people call an ambulance.

Hustle.

Yeah. All right. You okay? Move back. Move back. He's bleeding. Here, I'll prop up his head. Yeah, yeah. Use his jacket. Here, I'll hold him. Gully. He's limp. He looks like. He looks just like he's dead. Yes, Ernest Bowers felt like he was dead. Ernest Bowers suffered from catalepsy, a strange disease. He carried at all times a note in his inside jacket pocket stating that he was a cataleptic and that in the event of seeming death, his wife should be immediately notified or his doctor in the event his wife is unavailable. The letter also requested that no autopsy or embalming should be performed on his body for 72 hours. Although in his particular case, the duration of the attacks were usually four hours. Or less. Ernest Bowers also wore a sterling silver bracelet with an inscription reading, do not embalm me. I am not dead. Catalepsy is a disease of the nerves and mind. The physical condition of the cataleptic when he's under a spell closely resemble death in all aspects, including the primary stages of rigor mortis. Officer Abbott was on the scene of the accident. He administered first aid to the injured man before making out his. There. That ought to stop the bleeding. It's like just a cut on his forehead when he hit the ground. Nothing much. Well, he can't be heard. Bad officer. I didn't hit him hard. Yeah, that's right. It looked like just a little bump, that's all. All right, all right, clear back. Clear back. Let's have a little air in here. I'll have to take down some information. All right. What's your name? Theodore. Toby. Here. Here's my license. Hey. Hey, you kids. What did those kids do? They picked up something off the street. I saw. There's the ambulance. Oh, here it comes. Yeah. I hope he's all right. He doesn't look like he's breathing. My gosh, he ain't all right. I told you to get back.

Come on.

Now. He's back. All of you. I'm glad you got here, Doctor. He's out cold. Hello, Officer. Let's have a look here. Yeah, I'll see he is. All right, let's get him away. He's dead. Well, anyway, it didn't happen in the ambulance. Okay, we'll take him away. Keep. Keep him back, will you, Officer? All right, keep back. All right, clear out. The show's over. That's the second one today. Yeah. Well, let's go. Come on. Whose coat was that he was laying on? I don't know. Did you pick it up? No. Hey, Officer.

Yeah?

Where's the coat? Yeah. Oh, by golly, it's gone. Okay, never mind. Let's go paint. Ernest Flowers lost the identification of his condition. The letter was in the inside pocket of his jacket. The silver chain he wore on his left wrist had snapped and fallen to the pavement. Two youngsters picked up the chain. Robert Minelli, aged nine and a half, and Tommy Soner, eight.

Hey. Hey. That cop yelled at us. Did you hear him? Yeah. Maybe we should give it back. Nah. What for? So he can keep it.

Screw on the back of your father's shop, Bob.

Sure is a nice chain. Hey, there's writin on us. Maybe it's the guy's name. Was he hurt bad? Nah, just A little bump. What's it say? Just a second. We'll be out of the alley. Yeah. Pop's gone home to eat. Let me see it. Well, wait a second, will ya? It says do not em. Oh, do not something me. I am not dead. It's Spoolie. What'll we do with it? Sell it, Dopey. That's stealing, Bob. It ain't stealing. We found it, didn't we? When we try to sell it, they'll ask us where we got it.

What do we tell them?

Nothing. Use your head. You know. We'll do what? We use Pop's welding torch. We'll melt it down. He told us not to use it. Pop ain't here, is he? No. Well, come on. There it is. Yeah. Here. Put it on that brick. Okay. Yeah. Be careful.

I don't know too much about this. Why your kids are doing that, huh?

Hello, Pa. Nothing, Mr. Minelli. We ain't doing nothing.

Nothing, huh? I thought I told you kids not to go near the torch.

Well, we want to melt this down.

Give me that. What's this all about?

We found this chain, Papa, and we want to melt it down and sell it.

Who? Who, Jason?

We don't know, do we, Tommy? No. No, we don't.

Where you get?

We found it.

Come on, let's. Let me have it. Come on.

There's nothing. Wrong, pup. We just found it. See? It's ours.

Let me see. Say something. Do not embalm me. I'm not dead, Marquette. What's a dad?

It's screwy.

Where do you find it?

In the street. Honest, Papa. Ask Tommy.

All right, all right. Go on and get out of here. Please.

Well, how about melting it down, Pop? We can sell it and buy some baseball.

All right. I'll keep it back.

Look at Tommy. See it? Yeah. Starting to melt. See how he does it?

Keep away. I told you.

It's all melted.

They sold the melted chain to a dealer for a dollar thirty. One thirty. But the coat. The coat was the principal thing in the coat. In the inside pocket was the letter. The information about Bauer's condition was in the letter. The instructions that could save his life. The coat was picked up from the street by Honest Jerry Murdock. Now, there's a big sign near the corner of 15th Street. It says, Honest Jerry Murdoch Swap Shop. He brought the coat into a store, rummaged around on his shelves until he found some cleaner. Ben started to clean the blood stain. I'm looking for a sport jacket. Just a minute. Now. What kind? Conservative. Will you Come over here, please. Sure. Yeah. Something on that order. Well, pick out what you want there. How much do you want to spend? About five bucks. These cost more. How much? From eight to 12 over here. We got some cheaper. This don't look so hot for 8 bucks. From 8 to 12 over here. I'll take a look. No, these don't appeal to me. Well, what size you wear? 40. Well, here, we'll try this one on. Nice and conservative. Kind of tight around the shoulders. Yeah, it looks cheesy, huh? Well, I guess you ain't going to. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What's your hurry? I'm just putting a new one in stock over here with the counter. Hmm. Yeah.

All right.

Looks all right. What size it? I don't know. Here, try it on.

Okay.

Yeah, this feels all right. Kind of stiff in front here, though. It's almost new, ain't it? You'll break it in. Feels like cardboard or something. You want it? $5. Okay. There might still be a couple of stains on it I ain't had time to take up. Use some cleaner on it or bring it to the tailor's. It'll be better than new. Yeah. Here's a five. Ernest Bowers was brought to the receiving room of the Vedder General hospital. The time, 4:10. If Bowers was going to awaken, it would probably be before 6. 45. Intern on duty. Dr. Weldon made out his report. He wrote it down while standing near the telephone switchboard. Now, listen, honey, get this guy's wife on the phone. If he's got a wife here, here's his wallet.

Another dead one?

Yep. That is a mackerel. I'm gonna stay that way, too.

His home phone is here. I'll give it a whirl. Yes, this is Vedder General Hospital. Is there anybody by the name of Bowers at home? That's Bowers. B, O, D. Wait a minute. She's going to see. How did it happen?

Accident. Automobile. Hit him Funny.

What's funny?

Superficial cut on forehead. Apparently heart failure. I'm going to request an autopsy. I'd like to find out whether the heart disease was chronic or not.

Hello? Oh, here she is again. Nope. Nobody home. Is Mr. Bowers married? His wife says he is. Where can I reach her? There's been an accident. I don't know. She's out. Will you tell her to call the Vetter General Hospital? Yes. What happened? Mr. Bowers is dead.

Can't reach her, huh?

No.

See, I'd sure like to do that autopsy. Maybe later. After he's gone to the morgue. Get me the orderly room.

Okay. Yeah. Use that one over there. Here.

Okay.

Hello?

Hello, Payne?

Yeah.

This is Dr. Weldon. There's a delivery for you to go to the morgue. I know. Yeah, well, I ain't had nothing to eat since. Yeah, yeah, yeah, since lunch. Go on now. It's down in Receiving room B. The papers are down there too. Why can't I wait a few minutes? It's gotta go now. They'll want to start the embalming so they can go home. How about sending one of the other boys? I don't care, just as long as it gets there. It was then 4:22 in the afternoon. Dr. Theodore J. Weldon left honey at the switchboard and walked upstairs to the intern quarters and settled down to reading the sports page of the afternoon paper. At that moment, if anyone had been in Receiving room B, a better general hospital where the body of Ernest Bowers lay on the patient carriage, they could have seen a fly crawl slowly across the face of the dead man. They would have seen his nose twitch. For suspense, Roma Wines are bringing you an all star cast of Hollywood radio players headed by Wally Mayer. In Dead Earnest, a radio play by Celik Lester and Merwin Gerard. Roma Wines presentation tonight in radio's outstanding theater of thrills. Suspend. Between the acts of suspense. This is Ken Niles for Roma Wines. Yesterday I read an article listing 20 Ways to Beat this dog day heat. Among them were taking noon naps, soaking wrists in ice water and taking salt tablets. But none sounded half so pleasant as my favorite cooler offer. Roma Wine and Soda. Iced. Yes, Roma Wine and Soda is one of Hollywood's favorite ways to keep cool. And no wonder for Roma. Wine and Soda is so light, so ripe, so easy to serve and believe me, so cool to come home to. Just half fill tall glasses with Roma, California Sauterne or Burgundy or any other Roma wine type of your choice. Then simply add ice and sparkling water in seconds. You're enjoying America's smartest, coolest summer refresher. And remember, because Roma is selected for you from the world's greatest wine reserves. Refreshers made with Roma are better tasting naturally. So for cool contentment all summer long at low cost, serve and enjoy Roma Wine and Soda. That's R O M a Roma Wines largest selling wine in all history. And now, Roma Wines bring back to our Hollywood sound stage, Wally Mayer, who as police Lieutenant Healy heads an all star cast of Hollywood radio players in dead earnest, a tale well calculated to keep you in suspense. Henry Prince had purchased the coat in which the letter was that could save the life of Ernest Bowers. When Henry Prince left the second hand clothes store, he stopped to have a chat with some friends, made some purchases at the grocery store and started home. The time? A few minutes after five. He lived about two blocks from the scene of the accident. His wife was waiting for him. Well, how do you like it?

For five bucks it looks all right. What's that? A spot.

Where?

Now take it off for a second. Yeah, sure. I wonder what it is.

Oh, he said there were a couple of spots. Cleaner will take them out.

Yeah, it looks like it might be. What's this in the pocket?

I don't know. Oh, honestly.

To whom it may concern? Please open and read.

Oh, that's what Mr. Pupp said.

This note is carried on my person wherever I go. It is to advise responsible parties that I am a cataleptic, that if it appears as though I am dead, I am not and that my body is not to be molested for a period of 72 hours, neither by autopsy nor by embalming, although the maximum periods of my attacks usually do not exceed four hours. Please telephone my wife, Mrs. Margaret Bowers Fulton 11231. This is a boarding house address, 8411-strong West 25th Street. If she is not there, please try X, Mr. 43422. This is the number of Dr. Benton. It is of vital importance. It may mean my life. Thank you. Ernest Bowers.

That's a funny one.

Where'd you get the coat, Henry?

An honest jury. Murder.

I wonder what we can do.

I think it's probably forgotten already. Somebody saw the coat to him. Gotta take the letter out.

No, it doesn't sound like something a guy forgets. Well, it might be important. Look at that, Henry. Those spots look like blood now.

Too dark.

That's the color blood turns. I'm gonna telephone that number.

Go ahead. But I think you're wasting your time.

All right, all right.

I didn't want to mess around.

Oh, Hello. I. I'd like to talk to Mrs. Mrs. Bowers. She ain't in. Well, how do you know? You didn't even get out. You ain't the first after her. Who else wanted to get in touch with her? Somebody. I don't know who. Oh, well, thank you.

You see? You're wasting your time.

I'm gonna try that Dr. Benton.

Oh,

two.

Look, I'm hungry.

Oh, busy.

How about some dinner?

It's cooking. It's cooking. You know, I just can't get it out of my head. That guy, whoever he is lying there, people thinking him dead when he ain't maybe doing things to him. What's embalming?

Well, he's do that at the morg. It's preparing his body for burial, I think. They take all the blood out of his vein.

Well, that would kill him if he wasn't already dead.

Well, couldn't kill him no better.

Henry, I'm going to find out about that coat. Where's this place? You bought it.

Honest. Wait a minute, Francis. Look, I put in a good day's work. I'm tired. Listen, I don't want to run around the city looking for something I don't even know about.

Well, I'll go myself.

How about me at home here while you go out? I want to eat. I'm hungry.

Dinner won't be ready for another 15 minutes anyway. Where is the place?

Oh, all right, I'll go with you.

Why don't they answer? What?

Well, he ain't back yet.

What's the sign say? 10 minutes.

Yeah, but those guys put up signs like that if they're going away for an hour.

We can wait just a few more minutes. Henry.

Oh, come on, Francis.

Hello. Is. Is Mrs. Bowers in? No. Mr. Bowers. No, he's dead. Oh, he is? That's what they tell me. Look, you're bothering me, lady. I got a meal set on the table. I can't be answering a million questions.

[Relic Radio Host]

Yeah.

[Narrator/Actor]

Listen, all I want to know is when Mr. Bowers died. How do I know? Ask Mrs. Bow. She'll be home soon. Oh, yeah, thanks. Well, Mr. Bowers is dead. I found that out.

See, I told you.

Well, what about the letter then? What if he ain't dead? What if they only think he's dead?

Well, what do you want to do? Wait here all night?

No, I'm going to go down to that place where you bought the coke.

You're going traipse around the whole city?

If I have to.

Well, without me, then.

Well, all right, all right. Do as you please.

I'll be home. I'm hungry. If you think more of a crazy letter than you do with feeding your own husband. And that's all.

What do you mean, that's all?

That's what I said, that's all.

Oh, Henry, the trouble with you is you just don't have no imagination.

No, I just don't have no imagination. I'm just a home loving guy, that's all. I don't go sticking my nose where it don't belong.

Well, go on home then. I'll find out about it. Busy, busy, busy. How can a doctor's line be always busy? Say, pardon me.

Sure, sure. What do you have?

I. I just want to find out about the man next door. Do you know when he'll come back? Who?

Honest Jerry? No. Ain't he there?

No. There's a sign on his door says he'll be back in 10 minutes. I've been waiting for him for more than a half hour.

Maybe he went home.

Oh, yeah? Do you know where he lives?

Thanks, me lady.

Well, he will come back.

Well, he's usually there when we close up here. That's about seven o'.

Clock. Yeah. Well, thank you. Oh, officer. Officer. Do you know where the fellow who owns that. That swap shop lives?

Oh, ma', am, I don't.

Oh, well, I. I want to get in touch with him. There's a sign in his door.

Don't you ask him, Ma'.

Am.

There he is now. Just going in.

Oh, gee, thank you, Mr. Mr. Murdoch. Mr. Murdoch.

Yeah.

Oh, gee, Mr. Murdoch, I'm glad you came back.

I Just having a bite to eat. Yeah, come on in.

Thanks.

What can I do for you?

You sold my husband a jacket, a sport jacket, this afternoon.

Did I? What kind?

It was a light blue one. It had a few stains on it.

Oh, I'm sorry. I can't take anything back once it's gone.

No, no, I. I don't want to give it back. I. Where'd you get it, Mr. Murdoch?

I don't even know which one you're talking about. I sell a lot of stains.

It must have been just a few hours ago. Blue. Blue with. With thin red boxes.

Oh, what about it?

Where'd you get it?

What do you want to know, fool?

Well, because there was a letter in it, an important letter.

I don't know. How can I remember where I got it?

Long ago. Was it long ago?

I don't see where it's any your business where I got it.

It may be important. I've been trying to reach the numbers. The doctor's number's always busy and his. His wife isn't home yet.

I don't know what you're talking about. Please, I'm busy. I got lots to do.

Yeah, but you gotta tell me. Just listen. Look, tell me one thing. Did you have the jacket in here a long time?

Well.

Oh, please, it's very important.

Well, no, no. I just got this afternoon.

Oh, but where did you get it?

You said one question. You asked it, I answered it. That's all. There was blood on it that I can't help now. Let me.

Oh, no. Listen, Mr. Murdoch, you gotta tell me. Please.

I don't have to tell anybody anything.

Mr. Murdoch, I may be all wrong. I'm probably just crazy doing this. But. But listen, if that man's alive and they do anything to him, I'll just never get over it. I'll just never be able to live with myself.

What are you talking about?

Well, listen, listen. There was a letter in the inside pocket of that jacket, you see. It said that Ernest Bowers was a cataleptic.

What's that? You mean he goes into.

No, no, no. A cataleptic is somebody who looks like he's. He's dead at times. And he isn't. He. He goes into a spell and it looks as though he's dead. You see, and sometimes they take dead bodies to the morgue. They embalm them and that means they take all the blood out of their veins. Now, now, this fellow Bowers is a cataleptic. I don't know whether he's dead or alive or even if he's. He's even worrying about this letter. But I, uh.

Well, there was.

What? What?

An accident before the.

Where? Who. Who was in it?

I don't know. Believe me, lady, I didn't know anything about all this. You, You. You think this guy who was taking away in an ambulance with a catalepsy.

That coat, was it his?

Yeah, lady, but it was left there in the street. They drove away and left.

Who?

The ambulance?

What ambulance?

Oh, I don't know. It was on the corner. The cop was there. He told somebody to call an ambulance that came and took the man away.

Is that the cop? Is that the cop? Out.

But look, you got to protect me. I ain't done anything wrong. I don't know anything about.

Officer. Officer. Officer.

Ernest Bowers lay on a slab in the mall. If he were alive, probabilities were that he would regain consciousness before 6:45. The two embalmers on duty at the time had decided to get a bite to. When the phone rang.

We're going out to eat.

Yeah, I know. Another one just came in. We got it here. Well, what's a rush? No, no, we just want to grab a cup of coffee and then we'll get right on it. Well, is it our fault if it comes in just when we want to have a. What? We can go home after. Oh, well, that puts a different complexion. Okay. Yeah. Hey, what time is it, Tony? It's 6:30. Doc says if we embalm. This one. Now we can go home. Well, let's start in then. I'm hungry. Okay, let's start the motor. Hey, young guy, ain't he? Yeah. I was speaking to the wife about that yesterday. Oh, get the injector out, Tony. And she was saying, more and more people die, older and older. Hey, here. Looks like we can open through the neck. Yeah. Hey, give me a piece of that gore, I said. The way she should be around this place a while, we get them all ages. Hey, you want me to do it? Oh, that's all right. You'll get the injector ready then. Look at him. You never think that such a little thing like his heart stops beating could make him dead and not alive. Hold it steady now, will you? Yeah. Okay, you ready? Just a second. Yeah. All right, here we go. Oh, what's the matter? My glasses clouding up? Well, take them off. Oh, no, it's all right. I'll just clean them. What the wife say to that? What? Oh, about all ages.

Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, she didn't have anything to say. Only that most of the guys we deal with probably come to a violent end. Well, there's something in that, huh? Okay, I got my glasses clean. All right, now let's. What's the matter? They're steamed up again. Funny. Every time I bend over near, I wonder what. Aw, it must be my imagination. What?

I could have sworn this guy was

breathing on my glasses. Oh, is he? No. How could he? Well, come on and let's go. It's quarter to seven already. Yeah. Hold it, hold it. I'll get the phone. Oh, let's get this started first. Okay, now, we'll just help. What?

Wait. What.

What's the matter with you?

I. I thought I saw the guy's hand twitching.

Oh, don't be silly. Oh, boy. Oh, it gave me a scare. Hey, let's wait a second. I'll get the phone. Oh, no. It'll probably be another job. We'll never get out of here. Let it ring. That might be my wife. Oh, well, if people are gonna hang up before you can pick up the book. All right, come on, now. Let's get this thing over with. All right. Okay, now give me the knife again. That's it. Now, I'll make a nice, neat little ins. Tony. Yeah? Look, I'm bent over like this. I ain't gonna move. My glasses are full of steam again. Oh, Lord, is he alive? Look at me.

I'm shaking all over.

Look at him, Al. Look at his lips. Listen, I

shut that Thing off.

Apparently the life of Ernest Bowers was worth a dollar and 30 cents for a silver bracelet and $5 for a blood stained jacket. To honest Jerry Murdoch, their petty thefts brought a man to the brink of death. As as for the busy telephone in Dr. Benton's office, it wasn't busy at all. The good doctor had unwittingly replaced the receiver on the stand incorrectly. There's just one more episode which perhaps doesn't belong in an accident report, but which I would like to include. After regaining full consciousness, Ernest Bowers put in a telephone call from the Morgue.

Hello?

Hello, Mrs. Brawley. Is Mrs. Bowers in?

I don't know. I didn't see her come in. Josie, see if Mrs. Bowers is home. Who is it?

This is Mr. Bowers.

Who? Mr. Bowers. They told me he was dead. The hospital called.

Yes, I know, Mrs. Brawley, but they made a mistake.

Oh, well, here she is. Hello? Hello? Ernest, where are you?

Well, darling, it's quite a long story, you see.

Never mind. You just get right home, you hear? Dinner's getting ice cold.

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[Relic Radio Host]

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