1522 - Mr. Jones on Prostate Cancer, Losing His Erections & Swinging Again Years Later

Summary

Strictly Anonymous Confessions
Host: Kathy Kay
Episode 1522: “Mr. Jones on Prostate Cancer, Losing His Erections & Swinging Again Years Later”
Date: July 18, 2026

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Episode Overview

This deeply candid episode features Mr. Jones—one half of the “We Got a Thing” podcast—sharing his personal journey through prostate cancer, its effects on his sexual health, and how he and his wife navigated returning to swinging after his recovery. The host, Kathy Kay, frames the discussion as crucial, real-world insight for anyone facing prostate cancer or its aftermath, and for couples considering or living in the lifestyle.

Mr. Jones brings both humor and vulnerability as he details the entire process: diagnosis, treatment, recovery, and getting back to intimacy (both personally and within the swinging lifestyle). The conversation is open, judgment-free, and filled with vital information, hard truths, and moments of comic relief.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Prostate Cancer Awareness & Early Detection

• Prevalence:
  • “My urologist told me that most men die with prostate cancer, but they don't die from prostate cancer.” (Mr. Jones, 07:41)
• Early Detection Saved Him:
  • Regular PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) testing as part of his hormone replacement therapy led to early detection.
  • “Had I not been getting my blood tested so frequently, it may have been later that it was discovered for me.” (Mr. Jones, 09:08)
• No Symptoms:
  • Mr. Jones had no symptoms. “I never had any problems. I never had any symptoms. I would have never known had they not sent me.” (Mr. Jones, 10:35)
• Importance of Push-Through:
  • Kathy and Mr. Jones discuss the fear of uncomfortable medical tests and urge listeners to “push through.”
    • “It doesn't matter how afraid you are... sometimes the difference between life or death, that's how important this is.” (Kathy, 13:18)

The Diagnostic Journey

• Rising PSA & Further Testing:
  • Baseline PSA rose from 4–5 to 9, triggering the urologist to order an MRI and then a prostate biopsy.
• Biopsy Experience:
  • “Twelve pokes through there. That was a bit uncomfortable.” (Mr. Jones, 11:23)
  • He acknowledges fear of the procedure deters men, but “it's a necessary evil.”
• Gleason Score and Decision-Making:
  • Two out of twelve samples came back as cancerous with a “low” Gleason score.
  • Second opinion confirmed slow-growing, low-grade cancer but recommended addressing it within a year.
    • “They start to recommend some sort of a treatment if it's six or above.” (Mr. Jones, 19:34)
• Exploring Treatments:
  • Evaluated surgery vs. radiation.
  • Doctors recommended surgery due to age (late 50s), as radiation would complicate later surgical options.
• Crucial Information on Side Effects:
  • The bombshell:
    • “80% of men after they have their prostate removed can no longer get erections naturally.” (Mr. Jones’s urologist, 22:00)

Surgery and Recovery

• Post-Surgery Aftermath:
  • Immediate concern: regaining bladder control, managed in 4–6 weeks.
  • “Mentally then I'm trying to recover and get through all this stuff...” (Mr. Jones, 24:52)
  • Cancer was contained—clear margins and bone scan.
• Sexual Function & Communication:
  • “Men can have orgasms without getting hard, without getting an erection.” (Mr. Jones, 28:33)
  • “No more ejaculate because that comes from the prostate.”
• Timeline of Erectile Recovery:
  • 6 months: no full erections;
  • “Sometimes it can take up to 12 to 18 months.” (Mr. Jones’s urologist, 29:21)
  • At 18 months: “About 40–50%.” By 2 years: not 100%, but improved.
  • No testosterone for 2 years post-op to ensure PSA stays undetectable.

Realities & Solutions for Erectile Dysfunction

• Physical Changes:
  • Surgery shortens the penis due to removal and reconnection of urethra:
    • “You lose a little bit of length because of that too... about half an inch to a full inch.” (Mr. Jones, 35:49)
• Emotional Impact:
  • “Already... our egos can't take that much.” (Mr. Jones, 36:22)
• Medical Interventions:
  • Tried Trimix injections (instant erection, but caused hours-long, painful erections—“priapism”). Bimix was better: more natural-feeling, controllable.
    • “Once I got used to giving myself the shot, that really wasn't that big of a deal.” (Mr. Jones, 38:18)
• Rejection of Oral (“blue pill”) Solutions:
  • Viagra/Cialis did not work for him post-surgery (“did not help me... inconsistent”).
• Communication with Partners:
  • Practiced honest, open conversations with potential sexual partners about what to expect (e.g., “nothing comes out,” erections may not always happen, etc.).
    • “I have to say... if it doesn't stay hard or if there's no ejaculate… communication.” (Mr. Jones, 46:18)

Getting Back to Sex & Swinging

• Learning and Adjusting:
  • Emotional and physical adaptation for both him and his wife, especially given their open relationship.
  • “We just need to keep practicing... you need to just get used to the new normal.” (Mr. Jones’s wife, 35:22)
  • Shorter penis & partial erection required changes in technique and mindset.
• Surprising Positive Outcomes:
  • “I've learned that there's more to it than just the penis... sex is more than penetration.”
• Swinging After Surgery:
  • Became more patient, creative, and communicative in play—“the opposite was true, actually. Women were still interested and had fun.”
• Feedback Loop:
  • Received emails from listeners who sought out testing because of his transparency, underscoring the power of sharing stories.
  • “If I had not listened to you tell your story, there's a chance I might not have caught it earlier.” (paraphrased listener feedback, 41:00)

Practical Guidance for Men

• PSA Testing:
  • Should ask for PSA blood test at physicals, especially age 50+ or with family history (confirmed via Google in-episode, 51:11).
• Don’t Share Prescription ED Drugs:
  • “Don’t take somebody else's Bimix or Trimix.” (Mr. Jones, 52:07)
• Support Systems:
  • Mr. Jones runs a private men’s health Zoom room as part of his community, offering space to discuss ED, recovery, TRT, etc. (“Not a replacement for doctors, but incredibly valuable.” 53:51)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Facing Diagnosis:

• “I never had any problems... never knew I had it. So in my mind, it was just this fictitious thing.” (13:31)

On Surgery Side Effects:

• “80% of men after they have their prostate removed can no longer get erections naturally.” (22:00, urologist’s warning)
• “Here's another interesting fact: men can have orgasms without getting hard, without getting an erection.” (28:33)

On Emotional and Physical Recovery:

• "[Losing length]... as guys, our egos can't take that much." (36:22)

On Full Honesty:

• “I think our story is more about being honest with people, about the reality of life, what we're going through, so people understand, maybe people learn from it.” (41:00)

On Swinging After Cancer:

• “Actually... I'm a little bit more patient now, and other women are enjoying themselves... I've learned that there's more to it than just the penis.” (42:45)

On Opening Up:

• "It's embarrassing, your ego takes a hit, it's personal information... but when you know that it can help somebody, that makes it a little bit easier to share." (45:15)

On the Value of Community Support:

• “When you have 20 or 30 guys in a room without their partners... we can talk about these things and people can ask questions. So helpful.” (53:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [07:41] — Mr. Jones summarizes the prevalence of prostate cancer.
• [09:08] — Describes how frequent testosterone therapy blood tests led to early detection.
• [11:19] — Detailed account of the biopsy experience.
• [13:18] — Kathy and Mr. Jones discuss overcoming fear and seeking medical help.
• [19:34] — Gleason score explained; deciding on treatment.
• [22:00] — Urologist bluntly details risk to natural erections after prostate removal.
• [24:52] — Managing incontinence and mental recovery post-surgery.
• [28:33] — Ability to orgasm without an erection.
• [29:21] — Doctor sets realistic timeline for erectile recovery.
• [33:58] — Effects of surgery on penis length and psychological impact.
• [38:18] — Trimix/Bimix injection process and side effects.
• [41:00] — Positive feedback from listeners; importance of sharing the story.
• [46:18] — Communication strategies for sex post-prostatectomy.
• [51:11] — PSA screening recommendations for men 50+, checking family history.
• [53:51] — Men’s community support: private Zoom groups, open discussion.
• [56:41] — How to join “We Got a Thing” community and access resources.

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About Mr. Jones & “We Got a Thing”

• Podcast Website: https://wegotathing.com/
• Men’s Health & Swinging Community:
  • Men-only discussion spaces, biweekly Zoom calls, Q&A, lifestyle and health topics.
• Contact:
  • [e-mail] — Mention this episode for a promo code on quarterly membership.

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Episode Takeaways

• Routine PSA testing is key—even with no symptoms.
• Prostate cancer and its treatment can have lasting sexual side effects, but with adaptation, medical support, and communication, intimacy and enjoyment can return.
• Recovery is slow—patience (and creative approaches to sex) are essential.
• Honest storytelling and community support play a huge role in overcoming shame and isolation after prostate cancer.
• The sexual “normal” may change post-treatment, but new forms of connection and pleasure are possible.
• Real-life stories like Mr. Jones’s offer crucial, practical knowledge beyond what a textbook or even a doctor can provide.

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For full information and to connect with Mr. Jones or his support group, visit WeGotAThing.com, and check the episode description for direct links.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.

[B]

Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond.

[A]

You go to Singapore or Thailand, you

[B]

can't not do it.

[A]

The temptation is just too much.

[B]

Your friend know that you're banging her? No, no, he has no idea. And anything goes. Motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehide your whips and sh. There is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show. It's called Strict Strictly Anonymous because they change everyone's voices and names. Okay, so if you have an interesting secret naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out and proud, you could email me at strictly anonymous podcast gmail.com or go to my website, strictly anonymous podcast.com and click on be on the show. Now listen, I'm also looking for people that have any kind of like regular interesting stories or any kind of health journey stories, like you lost a lot of weight or you started working out and you completely transformed yourself or anything to do with health. If you have an interesting story, I do a sexual health Saturday series and I'm looking for regular people to call in and tell their health stories, if that makes sense on my show. You know, like I said, I mean, email strictly anonymous podcast gmail.com. now listen, if you have a naughty confession you want to leave on my confessions line, you could do that 24. 7. The number is 347-420-3579. That's 347-420-3579. Call from a quiet place. I can't use ones when people call where they're driving. Some of those confessions make it onto a confessions episode. The rest go on to my Patreon. Now, my Patreon is super fun and it's very inexpensive if you ask me. It's only $7 a month and you get every single episode. I do seven episodes a week. You get every single one of them early before anyone gets them, as well as intro and ad free. You also all the confessions and you also get Q&As that. I do like every other month where I answer a lot of questions as well as you get anonymous pics of probably every single girl that has called into my show, every single female guest. I got pictures of Them over on my Patreon. Like I said, It's $7 a month. The link to Patreon is in the description. If you do sign up for my Patreon or buy my book. I wrote a book. It's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. It's all stories my show told in the third person. They're super fun. And the audiobook is coming out in August. So if you buy my book, either in paperback or ebook or audiobook version, the links are all in description. I will also give you access to my private discord. Like I said, if you join my Patreon or if you call into my show or if you buy my book, I will give complimentary access to my private Discord. My Private Discord is not a paid site. It is free, but it is private and you can only get if I send you the link. I promise you, you will not be disappointed. My Discord is full of great effing people. Okay? So if you buy my book, send me a screenshot of your purchase and I will send you the link to my Discord. Last thing I'm going to tell you about is if you want to sign up for SDC.com I do have a free trial for my listeners. SDC is like the world's largest online dating website. And it's not just a place where you could hook up with people. You could learn all about the lifestyle. You could find out about all the lifesty events and meetups and all kinds of things going on in your neighborhood as well as if you're going to travel and you want to have a little fun, you're going to find it all on SDC.com Like I said, you get a free trial if you use my code 37712. Or just go to the description and click on the link. That's 37712. Or just go to the description and click on the link. Okay, I have a great sexual health Saturday's episode today and it's all on prostate cancer. Mr. Jones from the We Got a Thing podcast him and his wife on recently and they came on to tell their whole story of, you know, how they were married and became swingers. And he did tell me when they were talking about their whole story that at certain point in his swinging career, he did get diagnosed with prostate cancer. And he's on the other side. He, you know, he's been, you know, he, he's been through it and over it for four years now. And I was like, oh, you should Come on the show and tell your story. And he agreed. He was happy to do it because he thinks it's important information to share, and it really is. And he came on and shared. Mean, we go through the whole process from beginning to how he found out that he had it, and then, you know, the process of deciding what to do once he knew that he had it, and then, you know, the decisions that he had to make when it came to having it, as well as, you know, what happened after. After he made all his decisions and did what he, you know, had to do with, what were the consequences, how long it it took for him to fully recover and what that meant. There's so much interesting information that you would never know if you didn't go through it that he gives. And so if, you know, anyone's like, at the beginning of their journey or midway through or just, you know, wanting to know more information about what that journey could be like, you're going to get all the information here from Brian. He goes through it all. He's very open and honest about his whole experience. Like I said, they have their own podcast. I'll put a link to it. He also has a whole community where guys like you who are listening, if you want to talk to other guys in a private space, he has a private community that is open to guys where they talk more about all this kind of stuff. And he explains it at the end. So anyway, his whole journey is interesting. He. He brings up everything you'd want to know. He's a great speaker. He's got a great voice too, by the way. So you're gonna enjoy the episode. It's super informative. So. And just so you know, and Brian says this are important, like, we're not doctors. This isn't an interview with a doctor about prostate cancer. This is somebody's personal experience. And that's what we're talking. Always get checked by your doctor. We say that a million times in this episode. But anyway, I'm going to get right back on with Mr. Jones. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast.

[A]

Strictly Anonymous podcast.

[B]

Hi, Mr. Jones. Welcome back to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. How are you today?

[A]

Hi, Kathy. It's good to be back. I'm doing great. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Thanks for calling in again. Listen, you have your own podcast, and I was saying it's good you do because you got a great voice and I don't have to change it, right? Because you talk on your own podcast and it's called we got a thing. You and your wife are swingers. You like, to me, you. You already on my show, and I got your whole backstory and people should go listen to it. It was you and your wife. You Mr. And Mrs. Jones. Right. You got. Like I said, you have your own podcast. I'll also put a link to your podcast in the description. But on that episode, you did mention while you were swinging with your wife, that you did get diagnosed with prostate cancer and you had a whole journey. You're totally on the other side, which I love. Right. So we could talk from, like, beginning, middle, end, and afterwards. Right. Which. And I think it's for people, no matter what point they're at, to hear other people's real stories of what went down, you know?

[A]

Yes. Yeah. I appreciate the invitation back and I'm happy to share because, you know, this is something that a lot of guys are not aware of or, or just kind of ignore. So I'm happy to. To share the story.

[B]

And it's common, right. It's not like you don't hear about it. Right?

[A]

I mean, it's not like it is.

[B]

Yeah. Like, do you know how common it is by any chance? Do we know the number? Well, what they say?

[A]

Actually, my urologist told me that most men die with prostate cancer, but they don't die from prostate cancer.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

I. I think after you reach a certain age, a large percentage of men have it, but it's not to the level that it's either going to affect them or that they need to do anything about it.

[B]

Yeah, interesting, right? Yeah. And I mean, you hear it all the time, you know, And I know that when you guys were on last, I got an email from somebody saying, oh, I'm. I'm hoping he comes on. I just got diagnosed. Whatever. So I, I think you right people find the right episodes, and I love health and medical stuff. Anyway, like, I, I, like, I'm going to be so curious about your prostate cancer and everything to do with it, because that's just how I roll, you know, that's why I started my sexual health series, because I like that kind of stuff. It's interesting to me, and I think it's helpful. So let's talk about, you know, how long ago, like, it was that you found out, or you let me know where you think you should start. I don't know if you had symptoms or anything. First you tell me.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, probably about 10 years ago, I started with hormone replacement therapy. And so I had testosterone pellets and then ultimately injections. And as a matter of course, as I was going through that every quarter or every six months, they would do a blood test just to check everything and to check my psa. And then, you know, about five years ago, it started to show some signs of elevation. But I went to my urologist and he said, well, we have a baseline now. Let's just keep an eye on it.

[B]

Wait, what blood test was showing elevated again?

[A]

The psa.

[B]

And what's the psa? What does that stand for?

[A]

Prostate specific antigen. Yeah.

[B]

Okay, cool. Interesting. Right? And they test that for every guy. Like, guys always get that test on their HRT panel.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Just to make sure that there's no reason not to treat with hormone replacement. And they partner with a lot of urologists to, you know, keep an eye on that. And in my case, I'm glad that I was getting my hormone hrt, because had I not been getting my blood tested so frequently, it may have been later, you know, that it was discovered for me. Yeah. So they made me go to my urologist and said, hey, we're not going to treat you anymore until you go to urologist and get this checked. And he said, look, your PSA is slightly elevated. It's like in the 4 to 5 range, and if it goes any higher than that, we may need to do some additional exploration, an mri and, you know, just to see if anything's happening. So, sure. So sure enough, the. After another six months, I went in and had jumped up from five to nine. And he said, yeah, that kind of a jump, you really need to get it taken care of.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah. So, you know, at this point in time, we had been in a lifestyle for, you know, eight or nine years. I never had any problems. I never had any symptoms. I would have never known had they not sent me. And then, you know, once I went and they did an exam, an initial exam and an interview, and they said, yeah, you're a candidate for further exploration, so let's do an MRI to see what we're actually looking at. They did an MRI and that came back suspect. So then I had to. I had to get the samples taken. I had to. To do the. Sorry, what? It's called when they biopsy. I'm sorry.

[B]

Oh, I've had a million biopsies. Yeah, Yeah, I know.

[A]

That was probably the most uncomfortable experience because. Because they go in through the.

[B]

Oh, don't even tell me.

[A]

Oh, yeah. And they pierce the. They pierced the. The prostate to pull the samples. And so that. And then they did 12 samples. So it was 12 pokes through there. And that. That was a bit uncomfortable.

[B]

Separate needles, by the way. Was it?

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

It was one needle, 12 pokes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

I was gonna say. I just gotta tell people this is my own story real quick. And because just if anyone. I had to. I had a thyroid thing recently, and they gave me, like, a really bad rating. Like, thyroid. Thyroid's five. Like, which cancer. And I went. And I didn't. By the way. I've had that happen to me a million times. And I go to get the biopsy. Imagine, like four different needles going in and poking you 18 times in your neck. It was. And I don't. And I could deal with pain. I've had breast biopsies, everything. Nothing was as bad as that. But what. And it was the worst experience of my life. If anyone has to get a thyroid thing, I. I warn you, it's not good. But yours sounds ten times worse.

[A]

Well, and I just want to say right now that this is. This is probably the thing that is going to discourage a lot of men from moving forward. And just like, you know, anything else that you get checked in that area, guys seem to be a little bit hesitant and. But. But it's a necessary evil. And it wasn't. It wasn't as bad as it sounds, but that was something that was a little bit uncomfortable.

[B]

Okay. I won't. I. I won't deter. You know, every time when I was walking to get my ultrasound and find out what the it was, I was like, telling my sister, like, I get why a lot of people, like, don't tend to things because, like, their fear is so. Can't push through. But, like, I have all the fears, but I push through. And that's what you have to do. It doesn't matter how afraid you are. Like, because I'm always petrified. I'm petrified of the call after my tyrads 5 of telling me what the is. You know, every part of it is so scary, but I do all of it because you have to. You have to. It's like sometimes the difference between life or death, that's how important is. So you got to push through your fear, and everyone has it. It's scary and uncomfortable and like everything you said, but you still have to do it. It. That's my psa.

[A]

And all during that time, I was never worried about anything. I was kind of dismissing the whole thing because I never had any symptoms. I never had any problems with erections. I never, you know, never knew I had it. So in my mind, it was just this fictitious Thing that I needed to get squared away and I needed to tell me that I didn't have cancer so I could just get on with my life.

[B]

Let me ask you this real quick. Are there, are there sometimes symptoms that are, are typical of prostate cancer? Like what?

[A]

Yeah. So. Yeah. So once the prostate starts to enlarge, it can press against the bladder. And that's what causes frequent urination. Like for older guys especially, we have to get up in the middle of the night. It's because it's not because your bladder is smaller. It's because the prostate's pressing up against the bladder. And at a certain point in time, if it gets too large, an enlargement could be a sign of cancer. It may not be, but yes, if it had gotten worse and it would have been enlarged, first of all, the cancer may have not been just contained in the, the prostate. It may have moved outside or you may actually have trouble urinating at all. Because the, you know, my urethra might close down just because of the pressure on it from the enlargement. So I, I never had any of that.

[B]

Which means that like, the good news is, which means because you were getting your blood test and something so frequently that you more likely to catch it early. That's why that kind of stuff is so great. Okay. Have you ever had a time where your sex drive just wasn't where it normally is or just felt like kind of off? I feel like that is super common for everyone. And that's why you need to check out Drive Boost by VB Health. Drive Boost is not some sketchy supplement. It is Dr. Formulated with four scientifically backed ingredients for Sex drive. And the good news is, unlike most libido supplements that are made just for men, Drive Boost was designed to work for everyone. For women, Dry Boost contains ingredients that have been shown to help mitigate some symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. And for men, it is designed to help support testosterone levels, libido, and overall sexual performance. And another great thing about Dry Boost is it works super fast with, with some people seeing results in just one to two days of daily use. With most people seeing results in just one to two weeks of daily use. I had a listener DM me who used Dry Boost and he said he was doing it with his wife three times a day. And that happened after just seven to 10 days of using Drive Boost. Now listen, besides Dry Boost, VP Health makes other products that effing work too. They have load booze soaking wet, and they just dropped a new Product Energy Boost that I'm excited about, which totally works too. Energy Boost is a pre workout powder that you drink with effective ingredients for blood flow, energy and focus. So what are you waiting for? Go get yourself some Drive Boost by VB Health. They believe so much in their product that they offer a hundred day money back guarantee. So you really have nothing to lose. All you got to do is go to vb.health and use my code strictly for 10 off. That's VB Health. Use code strictly for 10 off. Or just go to the description and click on the link and use code strictly. It's so great. And by the way, I'm just going to give a plug. They're not even sponsoring my show anymore. But Rhythm Health, I just did my test again this morning. You could do blood tests at home now for certain things, but you could also just go through LabCorp and Quest and just request your own blood test now. You don't even need to go through your doctor anymore.

[A]

Yeah. And I just want to be careful to say that I am not a doctor. I'm not prescribing anything. I'm just sharing.

[B]

It's so as we're not doctors, don't give a. I don't care. Everyone knows I'm not a doctor. We're just, you're telling your own personal story. Like we're sitting in a bar and people are listening to our conversation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What are we saying that's wrong here? We're telling your experience. I'm sorry.

[A]

Well, one of the, one of the things that I asked my urologist was, hey, I've read about how hrt, hormone replacement or testosterone may cause, or may, you know, is this the cause of it? Or. I asked him, this is what I asked him. I said, should I be concerned that the testosterone caused it or should I be thankful that because I was getting HRT that it was caught early?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's, he said the latter.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, he said there's no studies that he knew of that said testosterone caused it. However, testosterone can be an accelerant. So if you do have cancer, it may accelerate the growth if you don't know that you have it. And that's one of the reasons, reasons they do the blood test when you're on hrt.

[B]

Yeah. And that's a shout out to the, the reason why we're not doctors and you need to go to your doctor because if you are getting testosterone the way you should be, not through a testosterone guy in the gym that, you know, that's Dosing you. It's from your doctor, any doctor that's giving you testosterone, any kind of hormone replacement. If they're not testing your blood every three to six months, then go find another doctor. You know what I mean? Because they have to. And that's the right way that it happens. Like, I've been on hormones for forever, and I do mine every three months.

[A]

Right. Right.

[B]

So there you go.

[A]

So, yeah, so they. They went ahead and did the. The biopsy. And then, of course, when they scheduled the, you know, the call, I was like, okay, well, I'm just going to go on here and have them tell me this is no big deal, and I'm going to get on with my life.

[B]

And you're opposite of me. I'm like, I believe in the 1%. You're not even thinking you're going to get cancer.

[A]

Yeah. So another term that I learned was called glee score. Yeah. So they. They scored each of the 12 samples, and two of the samples scored in the. The lowest range there is. I think it was like a six. And anything six or below, they recommend just monitoring. But if it's six or above, you know, then they start to recommend some sort of a treatment.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

So at that point in time, I was like, well, you know, okay, the bad news is you found cancerous cells. The good news is it's really low.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So now the decision is, well, first of all, I decided to go get a second opinion.

[B]

Smart.

[A]

Yeah. And. And the reason I wanted a second opinion is because I know other people have had this experience, but today in healthcare today, doctors may not tell you what's best for you. They may tell you what they need to tell you because they. So they don't. They cover their butts and they're not going to get sued, you know, So I wanted to make sure that the recommendation. I didn' question the results, but I was questioning, you know, I wanted to get another opinion as to how alarmed I should be, because I think that's very smart score. So I went to the second urologist, and he said, well, you know, I. I would do something within the next year. He said, it's slow growing. It's a low score, but you definitely have it. And at your age, and at the time, I was just turning. I was in my late 50s. He said, you're young, so, you know, chances are it's gonna bother you more when you age, so you should probably do something within the next year. And so what that did was it took the pressure off of us to think we needed to do something right away to get this stuff out of my body, you know, and do a little bit more exploring. So my urologist said, well, you really should go talk to a surgeon and you should talk to a radiologist, and you should get, you know, they should look at which treatment is best for you, and you can choose whether that's going to be to remove the prostate or is it going to be to apply radiation to the area to kill the cancer cells? So anyway, both the surgeon and the ur. The radiologist recommended surgery because they said, at my age, if it. If you get radiation and it comes back in 10 years, there's. The radiation is going to cause some scarring and some damage. And if the benefit returns in the future, that's just going to make surgery that much more complicated. So we would recommend that you just go ahead and have it removed. So at this point in time, I'm like, okay, you know, I can do this. It's like almost outpatient, right? I'll have it done and I'll be back to normal. And then the urologist said something that got my attention.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

He said, oh, by the way, like, 80% of men after they have their prostate removed can no longer get erections naturally.

[B]

You're kidding me.

[A]

And I said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up the train here. And he said, well, you know, some guys get it back right away. Some guys get it back at 40% or 60%, and some guys don't get it back at all. We have to. To peel the nerves away from the. From the. From the prostate before we remove it, and that causes damage. And I do. You know, we're careful as we can, but I'm like, all right, well, this changes things because now I've got to think about, you know, my wife and I are gonna. I've got to rethink this. You know, is this something we want to do? Do we wanna wait? Well, my wife didn't want to have anything to do with it. She said, I don't care about that. We need to get that out. We need to get that out of your body.

[B]

And what.

[A]

We'll worry about that, you know, when the time comes. Of course, at the same time, keep in mind, we have a lifestyle podcast.

[B]

You're right. You're not just like vanilla sex. Your wife also. Yeah, as well. I mean, you're out with other. You have to perform for other women besides your wife.

[A]

Well, not only that, but in our podcast, we share everything. So then it became a matter of with this is really a personal thing. What are we going to do about that? And I'll get into more of that later.

[B]

Perfect. Yeah. Great.

[A]

So anyway, we're decided to have it removed. I went in, had it removed, came home from the hospital the next day. Of course, you have to have a catheter in for 10 days, and then once they take that out, then you get the pathology report. And to be honest with you, the first hurdle that you have to get over is to be able to control the flow of urine, because inside the prostate is a gateway that keeps that from coming out. And the second gate is in the bladder muscle itself.

[B]

Oh, that's why you were saying before the prostate and the peeing at night a lot is like, yeah, that makes sense.

[A]

Yeah. And I know this is probably TMI for a lot of guys.

[B]

No, we need all of it.

[A]

You know, I had to. That's why you wear the catheter initially, is because you can't control it. And then after the catheter comes out and things are healed, it probably took me three to four weeks. And they told me it was pretty quick for me, but then I was able to retrain myself to hold it in without having to worry about anything. So that was a temporary condition that I had to go through and I had to wear the pads.

[B]

I was going to ask you, were you wearing diapers or, like, what were you doing to control.

[A]

It was just. Yeah, it was just like the. The pads that I had to wear and to absorb it, and it was a little embarrassing. And, you know, look, I'm an.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I'm a runner. I'm active, you know, have good sex life, and fairly young still, so to have something like that. And I've never been sick before in my life, never been in the hospital. So I'm. So mentally then I'm. I'm trying to recover and get through all of this stuff. And so anyway, that. That. That cleared up pretty quickly, and I'm like, okay, I can control my bladder now that that's a big deal.

[B]

How long did it take for you to figure out how to control it was like days or weeks.

[A]

Like, you know, it was like. It was like four to six weeks.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And after that, I didn't have any issue. Yeah. The human body is amazing. How it can compensate when. When things aren't normal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But one thing I want to say about the human body and surgery, because I've had surgeries in my life, and I think a lot of times, like, what people don't understand is your brain isn't. Isn't so much connected to your body sometimes. And your brain feels way better way before your body. And you need. When you're dealing with stuff, like any kind of medical stuff, you have to go by your body's pace, not your brain's pace. And I think a lot of people push themselves, you know, more quickly than the body's ready. And that's one of the most important things to take into consideration when you're healing. Your body will do it all. It is a miracle, but it's going to do it on its own time.

[A]

Yeah. Now, the good news that happened, the pathology report came back and indicated that all of the cancer was contained within the prostate. So we were relatively certain that we got it all. But I did have to have a bone test to make sure that it had not spread to the bones. And that was a little stressful, is

[B]

that everyone has to have that.

[A]

Well, because typically if prostate cancer spreads. Spreads. It spreads to the bone.

[B]

Right.

[A]

First. And so they wanted to make sure. So I had to go get that test done at the hospital. And they came back and said, you're clear, you don't have it in your bone. So once they told me that, and they told me it was contained in the prostate, we were relatively certain, you know, that we got it all, and it's a good prognosis. And at that point in time, it's that, okay, that's taken care of. I can control my bladder again. Now, what about the erections? What about the important, important.

[B]

Wait, real quick, though. What stage was it? Was it 0 or 1?

[A]

He just said it was early stage.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I don't want to put a number on it. They never really told me a number.

[B]

Did it say it in a pathology report? You don't look at that?

[A]

Well, I looked at it because I wanted to look at the gleason. Well, I was more important to know the Gleason score because the pathology test differed from the biopsy by just a little bit. But. So the pathologist, the pathology report confirmed that the biopsy was accurate.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that's all I really cared about. And they kept telling me, you caught this early, it shouldn't be a problem moving forward. We think we got it all.

[B]

Yeah. Interesting. I don't know how people don't, like. I would have questioned 10,000 times in one, like, get the actual stage. It's interesting that some people don't think as much as I do. I. I'm an overthinker. I'm like a little psychotic. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. So then, then you know, there's some things that your, your urologist doesn't disclose to you at first. And that's a little disappointing because initially they said, oh yeah, you'll know within six months whether you're going to get erections back again. So of course, the first six months I'm on pins and needles and I'm wondering, you know, is it going to come back? Oh, here's another interesting fact I didn't know and that is that men can have orgasms without getting hard, without getting an erection.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I never knew that because I always had an erection. So the good news is you could still get stimulated and you could still have an orgasm. And of course you don't have any more ejaculate because that comes from the prostate.

[B]

So when you do have that, that's where.

[A]

Yeah. When you do have an orgasm, nothing comes out anymore. So that's a change. But that's not that big of a deal. I can live with that as long as I can still have an orgasm. That was the main thing.

[B]

Yeah, major.

[A]

Yeah. So the first six months we. Again, I was overconfident, you know, never had a problem, young guy. They're going to come back. Six months, they don't come back. And then the urologist says, well, you know, sometimes it can take up to 12 to 18 months. And I said, okay, well you're moving a goalpost on me here, you know.

[B]

Well, I think he's giving you hope, you know, it's kind of.

[A]

Well, I think what, I think what they're doing is they're telling you you need to be patient because you don't, you don't want to intervene too early.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You don't want to talk about a prosthetic or you don't want to talk about, think about any of that. Now let's give your body chance to, to heal. Yeah. So after about 18 months I was back to about a 40% or 50%. I could feel myself getting hard, but it never got fully hard. And then at the two year mark, it still wasn't 100% back. And then I'm like, okay, you know, am I supposed to wait longer? And at that point in time the urologist says, well, and here's a funny story. So my wife went with me to the urologist for my two year and oh, and by the way, they, you can't take any hrt, any testosterone for the first two years after you have a prostatectomy.

[B]

How come? Do you know why?

[A]

Well, because they. Yeah, because they want to make sure your PSA stays at zero or non detectable.

[B]

Oh, interesting. And that's a way to keep it down with zero, to lower the testosterone, the better.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, right. To eliminate the testosterone for two years. Once you have two years worth of blood work done, test done, and your PSA is non detectable, then they let you go back on testosterone.

[B]

Okay. One thing I know for sure is great sex doesn't happen in a hurry. It happens when you take your time, whether you're with your partner or not. Rushing to the finish line is never ideal. So this July, why not give your body or your partner's body your full attention and rediscover how good unhurried sex really is. And while you're at it, why not learn a new thing or two? And you know where you're gonna learn a new thing? It's on beducated. Beducated.com is like the Netflix of sex education. They have courses on everything from yoni massage to sex positions, guided masturbation, and oral sex courses. They literally have something for everyone. Want to learn some new tricks to use on your girl the next time you go down on her? Well, take their cunnilingus course. It features 10 different new moves that you could try that are going to blow your girl's mind. And the best thing about Betrocated is you're going to learn those moves by seeing a guy doing them. That's right. Most of their courses include a video tutorial featuring real hot humans guiding you. You're not just going to learn by reading about it. You learn by seeing it in action. So what are you waiting for? Go check out Educated. All you got to do is go to the description, click on the link, and you're going to get your own personalized roadmap to a slower, more pleasurable sex life. That's right. It's super easy. Just go to the Description, click on the link to get your personalized roadmap to better sex. You know, my mind would think, but it's probably not true because I don't necessarily think, like, testosterone and erections are together, but like, you would think, like, with zero testosterone and none of that helping, that's not helping you get hard, is it?

[A]

Well, see, that was then the back of my mind.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[A]

Okay, well, maybe when I'm. When I go back on trt, that's gonna push my erection up, you know, back to where it was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyway, we go to the Two year appointment with my wife. And the urologist says, well, how hard do you think you're getting? And I said, oh, I think I'm 80%. And my wife said, no, he's 60%. So I said, well, I guess she would know better than I,

[B]

I, I could imagine. Over two years you start to forget about like what your baseline was. Do you know what I mean?

[A]

But I think a lot of it, I think a lot of it was my ego. You know, I want, wanted to say in my. Oh, no, no, no, no, don't listen to him. Listen to me at 60%.

[B]

You're so funny.

[A]

And at that point in time, we, we could have penetrative sex every once in a while, but it wasn't consistent and it definitely. Okay, here's another thing that they don't tell you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So the urethra group goes through the prostate. So when they cut the prostate out, they just cut it on either end and they cut the urethra and then they together and sew it back together, which if you think about draws your penis more inside of your body. So you lose a little bit of length because of that too. Which slipped the doctor's mind before I had all of this.

[B]

Imagine that this guy, these people are not telling guys the most important information.

[A]

Well, and, and I, you know, I kind of, I don't, I, I don't agree with it, but I think the reason they do it is because if they're going to tell you you're going to get shorter, you're not going to get hard again, and we have to stick this up your butt to do the biopsy. A lot of guys are going to choose to just to stay away. So, so anyway, I was starting to get an erection, but I had lost some length. And if you think about it, we've been having sex. My wife, okay, So I was 60 at the time. We've been having sex with for 40 years. And it's a certain length and it's like riding a bike. I know how it works. I know how long it is. I know when to stop and you know, thrust and well, the thrusting motion, all of that changes because I'm not as long as I used to be. So when we did have sex and I'm, you know, I'm thrusting, I'm coming back out of her because I'm not as long as I used to make sense. So that's the bad. And the good news is. Hey. My wife said, hey, we just need to keep practicing. Practicing. Yeah, you need to just get used to the new normal. And this was about the time. And she was very instrumental in. Look, she said, look, I've been telling you, women have been telling men for ages, it's not. It's not how long it is. It's how you use it that counts. Yeah.

[B]

You don't need to be that long. For me, I don't want my service being pounded.

[A]

Well, as you know, and. And I had to get to a point where I had to say, you know what? I'm going to have to accept what you're telling me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm going to have to give this a try to test it out to see if you're right. And I'll get back to that in a minute because how.

[B]

How much? Like, how much shorter was it? Like a half an inch, a quarter of an inch, one inch? Do you know?

[A]

Well, it was probably between a half an inch and a full inch. And the reason it's different for every guy is because your prostate. My prostate was two times as large as it should have been. So. And that's. They said that was really large. So if it's not that enlarged, you're not going to lose that much length. That's why I hesitate to say that everybody's going to lose length.

[B]

Yeah. That's important. Yeah.

[A]

In my case, because of the size of it is. Is the reason I lost that much length.

[B]

Right. Other guys might be less. Right.

[A]

Yeah. But, you know, it already. We're already. As guys, we're already already. You know, our egos can't take that much. You know when you tell us you can't get hard again, and by the way, you lost a little bit of a length. And I'm like, oh, great, I'm gonna

[B]

shove a needle in your ass.

[A]

I'm not. Yeah, right. Yeah. So anyway, we. At that point in time, he says, well, you know, and by the way, I started. At this point in time, I started researching how to get a prosthetic, because you can get it. You know, they can take the tubes out of your penis and replace it with inflatable tubes and they insert something in your scrotum that you pump it up. And so it's. It's. It's totally an artificial erection. But they said, you don't want to do that yet because once you go down that road, you can't come back.

[B]

You know?

[A]

So we put that out. We said, okay, we're not going to consider that at this point in time, because I was responding, I was getting partially hard. So then the solution is a trime mix. A solution where you inject this into the penis and you get hard and unnaturally, but then you stay hard for an hour, two hours, three hours, four hours, and we'll get into four hours or more in a minute. But so I. So I. He. I was prescribed a trimix and I started the trimix. And here's another reason why guys don't want to do this is because you have to put a needle in your penis. And a lot of guys can't fathom the thought of that. But believe me, when it comes down to you getting erect versus putting a needle in your dick, you're probably going to go with the needle. And, you know, once I got used to giving myself the shot, that really wasn't that big of a deal. I learned how to do it. However, I had an extreme sensitivity to the trimix. So much so that I took 0.01 milliliters, just one unit of test of trimix, and I was staying hard for eight, ten hours.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. So you know, anything after four, they're telling you to call the er. Oh, no, not only that, it was uncomfortable. It was actually painful.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

To have the. To have the erection. So we tried that for a while and they said. I said, look, I'm coming off of this thing because another thing I learned about myself and I think most men is when men start to get aroused, naturally you feel your erection growing. And the feeling that you get from your erection growing is part of what turns you on as a guy. Well, when you give yourself a shot and it's just artificially hard, you don't go through that mindset of getting horny and, you know, interesting, getting aroused and getting in the mood. It just goes from zero to 60 and it's there. And so that felt different. And then, you know, after you have sex, you lay in bed, it's 10 o' clock and I'm still hard. It's 11 o' clock and I'm still midnight.

[B]

How do you fall asleep?

[A]

Right? You can't. You can't fall asleep. And anyway, I ended up getting an antidote for that, which I don't really want to get into that part of it, but urologist can prescribe an antidote for you. So we did all of that. And eventually I said, this is not worth it because it's painful. I don't like the way that it feels.

[B]

There's an antidote on top of it, and then there's an antidote to the antidote. You start going down that whole hole. I get it. Yeah.

[A]

So then they tell me, oh, well, let's put you on a Bimix mix. And I said, okay, well, I know the difference between Try and buy. I'm assuming that's just one, you know, one. One less of the compound chemical. And they said, yeah, that's that. That excludes this one other portion of it that may be causing the problem. So they put me on a Bimix, and the long and short of it is that worked for me and I found the right dosage. It's still a very, very small dosage that I need to take. I know how much I need to take. I know how, how, where, how to administer it. I know how long it lasts. And most importantly, I don't get hard right away. I get. I get hard as I'm becoming aroused, so it feels like more of a. Of a natural erection. So keep in mind, now this is year three to year four that I'm still experimenting with Try Mix and Buy Mix and trying to figure out how I'm going to get hard again. And keep in mind, we're doing a lifestyle podcast. So I want to get. I want to get back to that in a minute now, because my wife says, well, how can we talk about having sex with each other and other people when we're not even having sex? And I said, well, I think our story is more about being honest with people, about the reality of life, what we're going through, so people understand, maybe people learn from it, and we just share our experience. And people are just going to have to understand, understand they're not going to get many sexy stories, you know, until we get through this health crisis. And that was. That was the best decision that we made. And. And we did take an entire episode to talk about everything that I'm talking with you about today. And after that, one of the email. I received a lot of emails, but one email in particular I received, the gentleman said, I just want to let you know I listened to your podcast about your prostate cancer. My wife has been trying to get me to go to the doctor, and I haven't done it. So once I heard your episode, I went to my doctor and they found out that my PSA is elevated, but we've caught it early. And if I had not listened to you tell your story, there's a chance I would have not gotten the blood work done and I might not have caught it earlier. So thank you for sharing. And so when you get messages like that, it makes it all worthwhile. Yes, it's a little bit embarrassing. Yes, your ego takes a hit. Hit. Yes, it's personal information. But when you, when you know that it can help somebody, you know, that makes it a little bit easier to share. So I want to share with a bunch of people right now what I've learned from everything that I've been through. And that is that you need to trust the ladies. Because the first couple of times that we played with other couples, I had to trust. I had to be more creative, I had to be more patient. I had to, you know, explain ahead of time that this might not happen. And I was really worried that after the first or second time that it wasn't going to be any fun for the ladies and they wouldn't want to play with me again. And the opposite was true. Actually. I find now that I'm a little bit more patient when I'm playing with or having sex with somebody now because. Because I've learned that there's more to it than just the penis. And as guys, that's what ultimately we were goal oriented. It has to be hard. You have to have an orgasm. And I have learned and I have gotten feedback because we are playing again. Not only is our sex life better and kind of back to normal, but we've played with other couples and other women are enjoying themselves and they're saying they're having fun and, and so, but, but, but even though they tell you that at the beginning, I had to go through that, I had to have the courage to play. I got a condom back on again, and I've actually had an orgasm with the condom on. So it's been a long road, but I've learned a lot about myself. Life goes on. Modern medicine is amazing. Fortunately, we do have these drugs, you know, that, that can help us in situations like this. So even though there's a little bit of discomfort and even though your ego might have to take a hit, it's better than the alternative, you know, it's better than having it spread. And then you're talking about an entirely different treatment protocol and you're talking about symptoms and you're talking about damage to your body with radiation. So in the grand scheme of things, it's turned out to be we're back to as close to normal as we can get. And, and we're happy, obviously happy about that. And we're still exploring the lifestyle with other people. So, yeah, so that's where we are now.

[B]

Now, when you went back to your trt, did it make a difference at all? Did you know, did you notice?

[A]

I don't think it made a difference.

[B]

I don't think there's a correlation. Maybe.

[A]

No, but it, but it did get my energy levels back up. And like I said, I work out a lot, so it did help me physically and I think the brain fog mentally, you know, so it did give me a lot of benefits. But I don't believe the testosterone helped with any kind of erection issues.

[B]

Right. And over time, because he kept moving the goalpost like, you know, and it's been many years now, but, like, have you gotten a little bit even more like every year, do you notice? Or did you get to a certain point and then it just, like that's where you were at, I think, as

[A]

far as the erection you're talking about. Yeah, I think this is where I'm. I'm gonna be. Yeah. And. And I'm, I'm satisfied with it. I, I can, I can, I can get 60 to 70% hard.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, you know, it's, it's just easier now to take the, the shot because that's so predictable. And I know the dosage and I'm used to doing it, and it doesn't last as long as it used to. So it's just a part of our routine now. And, and so when you talk about, you know, obviously communication is key when you're having sex with anybody. But, you know, now I have to say so funny thing is, is if I was having sex with a woman or if a woman was giving me a blow job, I thought it was common courtesy to warn, hey, I'm getting close. You decide. You decide what you want to do here. But I'm getting close.

[B]

As you should.

[A]

So before I had to warn them that they, it may be messy. Now I have to warn them, hey, if you finish with me, nothing's going to happen, you know, so it's a. But it still requires the communication. I still have to say, hey, hey, you know, this is how it works. If, if it, if it doesn't stay hard or, you know, if there's no ejaculate. Ejaculate, you know, so it still requires that I tell. Have some communication ahead of time and say, hey, this is what you should expect from our experience. But it's, it's been very positive lately. And even though it's taken four years to get back to this point, really happy with where we are now.

[B]

Commit to the shot. Tempo. Hold your finish. Golf is a mental game.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Lululemon golf gear, available in stores [e-mail] yeah, that's amazing. And I feel like, you know, as a girl who swallows and happily swallows, I'm fine with it. I would be fine not to swallow. Wouldn't care if it was. You know what I mean? Like, it's a little easier. I don't know that any woman's totally going to complain, but does it feel any different for you when you don't? Right. So there's no difference. It's just that the thing doesn't come out right.

[A]

Well, let me take that back.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's the same general sensation, but I would say it comes on quicker and it's more intense.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

Yeah. So. And I. I think because the nerves have been disturbed, you know, the. That the feeling is a little bit different, but honestly, I think it feels a little bit better. Another thing that I learned is that I still have pre. Calm.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

That comes from a different gland.

[B]

It does.

[A]

So, yeah. So that makes me feel good that I'm able. If I start dripping, then my wife knows she's really turning me on, or the other woman knows that as well. There's still something she can put in her mouth. There's still something she can taste if she wants to. So. So I didn't know. I didn't know any of that until after. It was one of those things that I just kind of learned on my own that nobody told me.

[B]

Yeah. That's amazing for as a guy, when you. Because I never heard of a PSA test. I think that's what you said it was called or, you know, or anything. And I'm on HRT because I've never had a blood panel for a man. Do they. And I know you were checking more, so you know, more times a year because you're on testosterone. Does a regular guy at a certain age, is it like a protocol that, like, at their yearly physical they're doing that PSA task?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. When you get your. When you get your annual physical, get the PSA blood work done, that's what people.

[B]

That's when people are typically doing it.

[A]

Yeah. Well, you should ask to make sure that they have that on the Panel. But yes, that, that should be something that your doctor normally checks.

[B]

And do you know what age that starts at? Is it 50?

[A]

I. I don't know. I hesitate to, to say, but I, I will say that the general gentleman that messaged me was in his 40s. So, you know, it's just like anything else that while you're getting a physical, if you're a guy, ask your doctor, say, should I get my PSA checked? Or just request it so that they go ahead and do it.

[B]

Like, sometimes you sound like you don't know certain things because you're not. You don't really. You're not that interested. But I know as a woman, like, there's a certain age that you start getting mammograms. There's a certain age you start doing certain things. So there's probably a certain, A certain age that it's just standard that insurance knows that you're going to be getting this test. Right. For a guy. It says 50, I think.

[A]

No, I. Yeah, I, I don't. I don't. I have to be honest. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But. But I know that my doctor tested me for it and I know, you know, my HRT people tested me for it, so. And the other thing is that it can be. You should ask your dad. Yeah, yeah. Because genetically it, it makes a difference. And. And my father did have.

[B]

Oh, did they do the catastrophe, by the way, for the gene?

[A]

No, no. My dad had an enlarged prostate, but he never had prostate cancer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So, you know, so. But that's just another.

[B]

Maybe that's why yours was so big. Remember?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Your check after your father, you both had a huge prostate.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's right.

[B]

But yeah. So if you know that it's in your family, they're gonna. It's like breast cancer is very common in my family. So, you know, they started doing mammograms earlier and did gene test. There's no gene, but they still would test more so because of that. So they'll always take that risk into consideration. Family history. That's why they ask you all those millions of questions ahead of time. But I would assume at a certain age there is a specific age that they give it to men.

[A]

I can just. I just googled it and start starting at age 50. I should, I should also say that it's very common. Oh, by the way, I didn't even mention this. One of the things that we tried was the blue pill, you know.

[B]

Oh, this is Good to add.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we, we tried both the, the Cialis generic and the other one escapes my. Anyway, that, that did not help.

[B]

Interesting. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So that neither, neither, neither helped me. So keep that in mind. And I wanted to say that sometimes guys will share these prescription pills with other men. That's very common. Hey, do you have a Cialis with you? You know, I want to, I want to take that as insurance and guys will share those. You know, I don't recommend that, but guys do that, so. But what I want to say is, is don't take somebody else's Bimix or Trimix because we know, we know somebody that did that. And he did a lot of damage to himself and ended up having, having to get the prosthetic.

[B]

Wait, he ruined his erections forever?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

For. By the way, I have a whole episode on the prosthetics because if, you know, once in a blue moon, you know, sometimes there's an extreme case where you need that and it's amazing like you said, my modern medicine is amazing that they could actually do that. And, and you know, if a guy is in the position where he needs that, it is available and it's amazing. And had a guy on talk through his whole experience and it's like it changed his life that he was able to do that if you have to. But it, he literally was like, just did it to have like a better heart on at some point and wound up like never being able to have one again.

[A]

Well, he got a little bit drunk and his friend offered it to him and he took the wrong amount and yes, it ruined him for life and he had to get to prosthetics headache. And I want to, I want to go ahead and correct. It's. It's Cialis is the longer acting one and Viagra is the short acting one and it's Sildenafil and Teldalafil. So. Oh yeah, I should know that I, I tried both of those and they did not help me. So I tried those before I went to the Biomix. So in a lot of cases, the Viagra or the Cialis may in fact help help some guys that come through this. But for me, it, it may have helped a little, but it was inconsistent. I couldn't count on it. So I just stopped taking them and went right to the buy Mix. And if you don't mind. What I want to mention something about the virtual community that we have at we got a thing because inside of our.

[B]

Yes, please.

[A]

Inside of our community we have a Space that's just for men, for men only. And we. We have a zoom meeting every other week, and we talk about health issues every meeting. And when you have 20 or 30 guys in a room without their partners, without the vanilla world, without, you know, the pressures that you normally have as guys, we can talk about these things and people can ask questions. And, you know, it is so helpful when you can talk to other men who are taking testosterone or they're taking a Biomix or they're taking a Trimix or they're having ED issues. When you can talk to other men. This does not replace going to a doctor. I want to make that clear. But at least you have a. We have a forum where us guys can come in and talk about this openly and not feel ashamed or embarrassed or, you know, any. Anything else. So part of the value that I get, I mean, I'm the community host, but I get a lot of value out of being able to just talk to other guys who may be in the same situation.

[B]

Oh, my God. So that's like, probably every guy that's listening to this episode is going to want more of this. They came here to hear this, and there's just more of that over there, which I love. And that's why, listen, I. You know, my sexual Health Saturdays are a mix of experts and doctors, conversations with experts and doctors, as well as conversations with real people that went through things. And I think both sides of things are valid. Right. Like you say you need, like to go to your doctor and get all that information. But I think it's always so super helpful to hear personal people's stories and talk to people who have been through what maybe you've been through, or, you know, be in a room, like you said, with just guys that. Where you could ask those hard questions that maybe you feel embarrassed to talk about with your partner or something. And I just think it's so amazing that you have that private space. Why don't you give a shout out to all of your stuff and I'll put a link to that in the description.

[A]

Sure. So the, the podcast is We Got a Thing W E G O T T A T H I N G. You can find us on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. We have a website, wegot a thing dot com. We also have a social community, a virtual community, and it's six or seven years old, continues to grow. We have different spaces for where you live, what you enjoy, sharing photos. We have a space that you can ask anonymous questions. We have men's Group, we have the Ladies Book Club. It's just, you know, anything that you can think about that is of interest. We have spaces in our community for that and it's just a place where you can come and a lot of us don't have family and friends we can talk to about alternative lifestyles or being, being a swinger or being non monogamous. And the idea behind this community is it's a safe space where you can come and, and do just that.

[B]

Yeah, I love it. And so that link, so I'm going to put the link to your website. Is it, is it obvious on your website where that community exists or how there's.

[A]

Yeah, there's actually a tab tab at the top that says community. But I also will offer this up to your listeners. My email. You can contact me through our website or you can send me an email. Mr. Jones, MrJ O-N E S@we got a thing.com. if you mentioned that you heard me on Kathy's show, I'll send and you want to try our community, I'll send you a promo code for a quarterly membership at a, at a deep discount. So if anyone wants to try it, just send me an email or, or send me a con. Contact me through our website and I'm happy, happy to provide that code for

[B]

you and give that email again one more time because I'll put that in the description too so people that are driving know. But I'll give it to my Patreon members as well.

[A]

Yeah, Mr. Jones, M r J O N E S at we got a thing W E G O t t a T-H-I n g.com or go to our website and you can hit the contact us button on our website.

[B]

Right? And they could hear this whole story over there and so much more. Right. Just tell people what you do on your podcast podcast real quick so they could get more. They know what's going on over there.

[A]

So we're a long time married couple and you should go back and listen to our story on Strictly Anonymous podcast. But we are, we got into the lifestyle about 12 years ago. We decided to chronicle our journey through a podcast and you know, share our experiences. We are not a how to podcast, we are a what if podcast. So if this, this is if non monogamy is something that you or you and your partner are thinking about, listening to us can arm you with the questions and the conversations you need to have with yourselves and each other to decide if this is something for you. And so we've We've made a lot of mistakes. We've done a lot of things right. And so learning from our mistakes and from our experience is what it's all about.

[B]

And that's what they could listen. That's what they hear on your show, right. As your guys, all your personal stuff. The good, the bad, the ugly.

[A]

Yeah. Podcast. Podcast is free. No charge for the podcast. We don't do ads or anything like that. So, yeah, it's our gift back because we've gotten so much out of this. We've made so many meaningful relationships and made so many connections with other people that we just want to share it out with with those who may be interested.

[B]

I love that. Thank you so much for coming on and telling your story. I think you just like it hit everybody every single thing that somebody would want to know. And I love that if they want to know more, they could join your community, email you and get in and. And get some even more information. But thank you so much for coming, coming on and sharing your whole story.

[A]

I appreciate you having this type of segment on your show, Kathy, and I, and I just, I'm happy to be able to share it with anyone. So thank you for giving me the platform and hopefully other. Other people will take this to heart. And. And you said, hey, if other guys are listening, we'll listen. If the ladies are listening, listening, then you can tell your husband or your partner, you need to go listen to this because maybe you don't listen to me, maybe you don't listen to me, but maybe you'll listen to this guy tell his story.

[B]

That's what happens. I get a lot of. Because I do have a bigger male audience than females, but I always getting emails from partners saying, oh, I listened to this for my partner. I'm gonna tell them. You know what I mean? So you're right. I'm glad you brought that up because maybe the wife is listening for the guy. But thanks, Mr. Jones, for calling. Calling in. This was super interesting. It's gonna air this time, Kathy.

[A]

All right, thanks a lot.

[B]

Bye Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25, but you can pre order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of pick one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like, there's a hot wife story, there's a cuck queen story, there's a cuck story, there's a gang bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like Penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top, like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe. Right. But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format, and finally, the audiobook is available, coming out August 25th, but you could pre order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre order it it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay? There's no way you get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay? I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you can win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total, strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private. Like I said, all you gotta do is email me a screenshot of your purchase. Whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictly anonymous podcastmail.com that's strictly anonymous podcastmail.com and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast.