The wedding series: 7 rules for your wedding day

Summary

Style-ish Podcast Summary: "The Wedding Series: 7 Rules for Your Wedding Day"

Hosted by Shameless Media, "Style-ish" delves into the intricate world of fashion, branding, business, and beauty. In the episode titled "The Wedding Series: 7 Rules for Your Wedding Day," released on May 29, 2025, hosts Rhiannon Joyce and Jo Fleming are joined by special guest Annika Joshi Smith. Together, they explore essential tips and personal insights to help brides navigate their wedding day with style and authenticity.

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1. Annika Joshi Smith's Unique Wedding Journey

Location and Theme

Annika Joshi Smith shared her wedding experience, highlighting the beautiful blend of Melbourne's essence with personal touches. The ceremony took place at Riponlee Estate, a venue steeped in nostalgia, especially meaningful since Annika's parents were originally married there outdoors many years ago.

"We went from super femme, really pretty, girly kind of vibes to urban and a city party." [02:08]

The reception transitioned to Hazel on Flinders Lane, encapsulating Melbourne's urban charm and creating a juxtaposition between the romantic ceremony and the lively city celebration.

Planning in Eight Weeks

Contrary to the often lengthy wedding planning processes, Annika and her partner James orchestrated their wedding in an intense eight-week timeframe due to unforeseen family health issues. This condensed schedule required swift decision-making and adaptability.

"I was the most stressed bride you've probably ever met, but we planned in eight weeks." [02:32]

Despite the challenges, Annika emphasized the importance of prioritizing meaningful moments over meticulous planning.

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2. Intimate Guest List and Personal Connections

With approximately 75-80 guests, Annika's wedding fostered an intimate atmosphere, allowing her and James to engage personally with each attendee.

"It was super intimate, which I actually really loved because James and I both felt like we could engage with every single one of our guests." [04:08]

The decision to invite a close-knit circle ensured that despite some loved ones being unable to attend, the event remained heartfelt and memorable.

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3. Wedding Attire: Staying True to Oneself

Annika's Dress Selection

Annika recounted her journey to finding the perfect wedding dress, which culminated in a serendipitous last-minute fitting at a Melbourne designer bridal store. The chosen gown was a simple, minimalistic corset with a surprising thigh-high split, blending elegance with a touch of allure.

"I just wanted to feel like me. And I feel like when you do that as well, you can kind of look back and still love the pictures." [18:53]

Jo and Rhiannon on Dress and Beauty

Jo Fleming and Rhiannon Joyce echoed the sentiment of authenticity, advising brides to avoid experimenting with new trends on their wedding day to ensure their look remains true to themselves and photo-worthy.

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4. Curating the Guest Dress Code

Opting for a "garden soiree" theme, Annika and James encouraged guests to embrace florals and pastels, resulting in a vibrant and cohesive aesthetic without strict dress constraints.

"We let the guests kind of run with it. And it was honestly beautiful." [07:30]

This approach allowed attendees to express their personal styles within an elevated and cohesive framework.

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5. Memorable and Cultural Moments

Honoring Heritage with the Haka

A standout moment was the spontaneous haka performed by Annika's father and brother, honoring their Māori heritage. This unplanned yet deeply emotional performance added a unique cultural dimension to the ceremony.

"It was the most beautiful moment for us to have, honouring our Maori heritage." [09:15]

Live Streaming for Absent Loved Ones

To include guests unable to attend in person, Annika opted to live stream the wedding, fostering a sense of inclusivity and shared celebration.

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6. Music Selection: Finding the Perfect Match

Annika shared the story of discovering their ceremony's cello performer—a talented busker whose impromptu street performance led to his pivotal role in the wedding. His elegant black-tie appearance and heartfelt performance significantly enhanced the ceremony's ambiance.

"He was so talented and he actually... made the ceremony." [10:09]

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7. Seven Essential Rules for Your Wedding Day

Rule 1: Spend the Night Before with Your Partner

Zara, co-founder of Shameless Media, advocates for spending the pre-wedding night with your partner to alleviate nerves and strengthen the bond before the big day.

"Spend the night before with your partner is the easiest way to ease your nerves." [13:46]

While Annika chose to share the evening with her mother and bridesmaids, she reflected that more time with her partner might have further eased her stress.

Rule 2: Let Guests "Ghost" Your Wedding

Inspired by a suggestion from Cassie, the hosts recommend allowing guests to discreetly leave the event without formal farewells, enabling the newlyweds to enjoy uninterrupted moments.

"Guests were more than welcome to ghost in the. Instead of saying goodbye." [16:35]

Annika supported this idea, emphasizing the desire to fully immerse in the celebration without external interruptions.

Rule 3: Don't Try New Trends on Your Wedding Day

Annika stressed the importance of sticking to familiar styles for attire, hair, and makeup to ensure comfort and satisfaction in the wedding photos.

"Don't try new trends when it comes to your wedding looks." [17:55]

Jo Fleming added practical advice on beauty preparations, cautioning against introducing new products that might cause adverse reactions.

Rule 4: Be a Guest at Your Own Wedding

Michelle from Shameless Media advised brides to embrace their role as participants in their wedding, relying on professionals and loved ones to handle hosting duties.

"You're there to enjoy the day you've put so much energy and thought into." [21:25]

Jo Fleming shared her strategy to take moments away with her partner to recharge and fully enjoy the festivities.

Rule 5: Know What You're Doing with Your Bodily Comfort

Mish from Shameless Media highlighted the significance of practicing dress fittings and understanding how your attire interacts with your body to avoid last-minute discomforts.

"If you don't know exactly what's happening with your boobs on the day, do a dress practice." [23:05]

Annika echoed this by sharing her experience of adjusting her dress fittings to ensure a perfect fit.

Rule 6: Stay at Home if Marrying Locally

Zara suggested that couples getting married in their hometown consider staying at home, reallocating hotel expenses towards their honeymoon for added value.

"Consider sleeping at home and throwing that money you'd spend on a hotel on your honeymoon." [26:00]

Annika reflected on her choice to stay at a hotel for logistical reasons but recognized the benefits of Zara's advice.

Rule 7: Let Go of Minor Details

Annika emphasized the futility of obsessing over insignificant aspects, advocating for trust in professionals and focusing on the day's true essence.

"Small details won't actually matter on the wedding day." [29:18]

She highlighted the importance of grounding oneself by remembering the core reasons for the celebration amidst planning stress.

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Bonus Tip: Wear Loose Clothing When Getting Ready

Cassie from Shameless Media added a practical tip to wear comfortable, loose-fitting attire while preparing for the wedding to prevent marks or damage to the dress.

"Wear loose clothing when getting ready." [32:13]

The hosts shared personal strategies to implement this advice, ensuring their dresses remain pristine throughout the day.

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Conclusion

The episode of "Style-ish" offered a heartfelt and practical guide for brides navigating their wedding day. Through Annika Joshi Smith's personal narrative and the hosts' collective wisdom, listeners gained valuable insights into creating a meaningful and authentic celebration. Emphasizing emotional connections, authenticity in style, and strategic planning, the discussion underscored that the essence of a perfect wedding lies in cherishing the moment and prioritizing what truly matters.

Transcript

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Foreign.

[Jo Fleming]

This episode of Stylish is brought to you by Fenton and Fenton. Curate your gift registry@fenton and fenton.com.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

It'S a day you've spent months, maybe even years thinking about and planning for. So what are the hacks and tips that can help you actually enjoy the big day? Welcome to the Wedding series by Stylish, a three part series helping you cut through the noise and plan a wedding that feels quintessentially truthful to you. My name is Rhiannon Joyce. I'm a May bride, which is yay.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So excited today.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

No, this month I'm not getting married today. And I'm joined by my wonderful co host, Jo Fleming. Hey, Jo. And who else do we have with us?

[Jo Fleming]

We've got the wonderful Annika Joshi Smith.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yay. So today's special guest, as you've just heard, is Annika Joshi Smith, who got married in Melbourne and is a very, very familiar to our stylish omnivers. Now, before we run through all seven rules we think brides should consider for their big day. Annika, we've been doing a bit of an elevator pitch every episode, so let's do this for you. Let's start with the location and theme. Did you have one?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So we really wanted to make sure that we kind of encapsulated different elements of Melbourne for our wedding. We had guests traveling from all over and we kind of thought, okay, if they're making the distance, lets kind of put on a little bit of a show for them. So we had two different locations for our ceremony and our reception. The first was at Riponlee Estate which was super fame, really kind of romantic and just quite like beautiful being out in the gardens. And a fun fact, my mum and dad, they actually got married in Melbourne many, many, many moons ago. And their wedding was outdoors. So it was kind of like a cute little nod to their special day. And then we took all of our guests into the city and we had the reception at Hazel, which is on Flinders Lane. It was like such a juxtap. We went from super femme, really pretty, girly kind of vibes to urban and a city party.

[Jo Fleming]

Love that.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I think Hazel is one of those quintessential Melbourne venues as well. You walk in there and you're like, oh, this is Melbourne.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Totally.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I love that. It's such a good spot. It also has like really nice nostalgia elements to it. Like the way they do the plates.

[Jo Fleming]

Yes.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

The environment. It's such a nice venue.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay, so how long did you actually plan for?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Huh? This was an eight week challenge.

[Jo Fleming]

Okay. That's a lot less time than Ri and I have had.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I was the most stressed bride you've probably ever met, but we planned in eight weeks.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay, so why was it such a short time frame?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We, it's not the best story, but we always had planned to get married on our 10 year anniversary, which was the 5th of January, 2024. So I would have only been married for like a year by now. But unfortunately, we got some really devastating news about my dad and whether or not he would be able to make it that far. Oh, I knew I should have worn waterproof mascara today. So, yeah, we got that news and we just said, okay. Something that meant the most to me was having him walk me down the aisle. And I moved heaven on earth to make sure I could have my wedding in a time where he was still fit and healthy.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

That's such a special moment that you can look back on with your dad. And I think it goes without saying that when it comes to weddings and it comes to your special day, I'm getting teary now. It's so early for this to be happening. No, I think it's so, so beautiful to hear such a special moment that you could share. And at the end of the day, that is what weddings are about. It doesn't matter. You only had eight weeks because the thing that was most important to you, you were able to experience.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Exactly. It's crazy. Like, when I look back now, I don't think about the stress, I don't think about the eye twitch coming down the aisle. I literally just think about, wow, how lucky am I to have had all of the most important people in my life in that room, witnessing what that day was about.

[Jo Fleming]

And you've got those beautiful photos of you two as well from your wedding day, which is so nice.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

That's a bit of a stud muffin. My dad.

[Jo Fleming]

Now. Number of guests, how many ended up?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

It actually ended up being 80 guests and actually maybe 75 all up. It was super intimate, which I actually really loved because James and I both felt like we could engage with every single one of our guests, which was nice.

[Jo Fleming]

And so with the timeframe of the eight weeks, you guys are from New Zealand originally. So obviously that short timeframe meant that probably there were some people that weren't able to make it.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Like literally so many of our best friends, so many of our family. It was a very, very hard and fast hustle. And I think as well, you know how you kind of like to have like your first list and Then your second list and once you kind of get a bit of pushback, you go to like the next tier. For us it was just like, let's literally shoot our shot and see what sticks. And so we invited as many people as we possibly could. We actually did it the funny way round. We did it before we had locked in a venue. So then once the numbers, you're like.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay, now we know what we're working with.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Once the numbers started coming back in, we were like, oh shit, can you guys okay to this many people? And they were like, okay, we're gonna have to try and like, you know, rearrange something. So it was, yeah, different type of wedding planning but, you know, here we are.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

The things you can do under pressure. Oh, you've got an eight week window. You can deliver.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I can.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay. I want to know about the dress.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, the dress. Okay. So I think working in the industry, everyone, even my girlfriends, thought that I would know what my dress was going to be. I'm not the type of girl though that has thought about their wedding since she was five years old and planned this immaculate thing. Actually, I went with one of my other girlfriends, we went to La Louve and they had a beautiful kind of try on session and I was trying on different dresses and I was like, none of these are me. And then I kind of also thought about, it's so nice having like, you know, your dad walk you down the aisle, but what do mum and I have? So just by chance, Mum and I actually got into a last minute fitting at one of Melbourne's designer bridal stores. And the first dress I tried on ended up being the one. And so it was literally like a really beautiful form fitting, kind of corsetted number that was really quite simple and minimalistic in design. And then it just had a huge thigh high split, which was so unexpected for me.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I see.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I know, like I'm a slouchy, baggy girl and everyone was like, wow, there's a body.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So you didn't intend on dressing sexy for you?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

No.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So it kind of just happened. Right.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So context. We in a previous episode, we were discussing how it's okay to want to be hot on your wedding day. Did you feel hot?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I felt so sexy. Like I'm surprised no one wolf whistled down the aisle.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

That's what James should have been.

[Jo Fleming]

I know.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

He actually didn't even shed a tear, which was kind of weird. But you know, maybe he was, I don't know.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I don't think that's. He was overwhelmed I think that's weird. I know a few people in my life who didn't cry on their wedding day, and I think we need to maybe debunk the whole idea that you should be crying on your wedding day. Also, you don't want to ruin your makeup.

[Jo Fleming]

Girl, I don't need to cry. But if Adrian doesn't shed a tear, I'm turning around. Really? I love that from you.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I love it. He will be shedding tears. He's the most beautiful man.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

He'll be bawling now.

[Jo Fleming]

Dress code for your guests. What was that?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, so this one was something James and I really struggled to kind of, I guess, agree on. But once we had locked in Ripon Lee, we were like, you know what? We don't want it to be cocktail. I feel like cocktail can be so misinterpreted. And sometimes I feel like I was gonna then have to dress the guests, which was not something I was wanting to do in eight weeks. So it ended up being a garden soiree theme.

[Jo Fleming]

And then we really.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, like, we let the guests kind of run with it. And it was honestly beautiful. Like, my bridesmaids wore beautiful dusty pink dresses. And then all of our guests really kind of leaned into florals and pastels, and so it kind of felt like a colour bomb, but it was just perfect.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

There's a lot of room for interpretation there, which is playful and fun as.

[Jo Fleming]

A guest, but it still feels quite elevated. Like, the use of soiree makes me think, oh, okay. It's kind of like black tie or formal. Not.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I was thinking formal. Black tie.

[Jo Fleming]

Yeah, my.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I usually gravitate to the more formal wear for weddings.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I don't know if that's the traditionalist in me, but anytime I've attended a wedding, unless it explicitly says, like, casual cocktail, I'm always leaning for something that's a bit more safe with the length.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm the same. I very much do that as a guest. Got that little 10% more.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay. I am also super excited to hear more about what the best moment of the day was.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Obviously, it was having my dad there and having him walk me down the aisle and marrying literally the man of my dreams in front of so many of our nearest and dearest. And even though a lot of our best friends couldn't be there, the whole thing was live streamed, so it definitely felt like they were still there. And I feel like we felt, like, such an abundance of love. It was kind of funny, though, we forgot that the livestream continued into the reception. Oh, so we had so many people tuning in and they said they saw everything. They were, like, pouring drinks at home, felt like they were part of the entire thing. We literally forgot. And the cameras were in every single corner.

[Jo Fleming]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

That could be quite dangerous.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, yeah, very.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Some scandalous things could have been recorded.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I still haven't watched the wedding video back because I simply cannot.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

The fear of God is instilled in you. Okay, there is something I want to ask you about. I have been told there was this incredible haka moment between your dad and brother. Can you tell us about that?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I can. So in Mori culture, the haka is never kind of scripted or it's never kind of planned into something. It just kind of happens when the moment and the feeling is right. So straight after our speeches, my brother and my dad led the haka with some of my aunties and I just literally got chills again. It's so beautiful. It was kind of like the most beautiful moment for us to have, honouring our Mori heritage and. Yeah, just like, the ultimate respect to our family, which is really beautiful.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I think, as a guest as well, we spoke about this with Ange. It's so amazing for your guests to also experience and be brought into your culture. Ange was talking about at her Indian wedding how every day she had to wear a different outfit that symbolized a different color, and her guests also did the same. And I think as a guest, that was just so nice to be able to have that shared experience. So no doubt that would have been the same for yours.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay, so tell us about the music, particularly the ceremony music, because there is a misunderstood story.

[Jo Fleming]

There's an interesting story here.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So it's quite a funny story. One day we happened to be in the city and we were literally walking through, I think, maybe Flinders street or, like, Swanson street or something, and I heard the most beautiful music. And, like, literally I was, like, stopped in my tracks. I was like, james, we need to go and find where that music is coming from. He was like, you're honestly so annoying. And at this point, I was like, just follow me. Like, let's go. There was a man busking on the side of the road. Literally busking. He had his cello case open and people were giving him their scents. And I was just in awe of him. I was like, this is it. He's the guy. And I just took down his Instagram details and then contacted him, and he ended up performing at our ceremony. He literally put on a black tie. Like, he looked so Stunning. And he made the ceremony.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I'm obsessed with. Obsessed with this.

[Jo Fleming]

Amazing.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. She's resourceful when she needs to be.

[Jo Fleming]

I feel like that is actually a really unique experience. I don't know that many other people would have done that.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

It was on it like, he was so talented and he actually. It's quite beautiful. He was at uni at the time and he was like, so thankful for the opportunity.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Oh, that is so sweet. I love that everything you've spoken about has been so beautiful and sentimental. Not one thing has felt like, you know, you expect to come to these conversations all about, you know, the way it looked or. But it's so nice and also so unique.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I think it's quite funny, the surprise in July elements that you'll probably pick up along the way.

[Jo Fleming]

But you can be quite rogue, though.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, yeah, 1,000%.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So it's not off brand?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

No.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay. So James was expecting it.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Thousand percent.

[Jo Fleming]

Any regrets from the day?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, so one of them, definitely. I feel like we probably didn't give our photographer more of a brief to get more photos with family. And so we actually did a first look, but then we never went off and did photos. Oh, okay. I know. We wanted to get straight in amongst it, like, straight in. Cause we had a certain time at the ceremony before we all had to head into the city for the reception. And so we were like, you know what? We just wanna literally be guests at our own wedding and just dive straight in. So I really wish we actually had more moments, more photograph moments with our family. That would be my biggest regret.

[Jo Fleming]

Okay, so I need to make a mental note of that for myself is get as many photos as humanly possible.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

And even individual photos with like your mother in law, your father in law, and your own parents as well. Not all, like, you know, the.

[Jo Fleming]

Not everyone.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, just those intimate, cute little moments.

[Jo Fleming]

All right, so now that we've got the elevator pitch of Annika's very unique wedding, let's throw to an ad and then we'll jump straight into our seven rules for the day of your wedding.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Can't wait.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Jo, you've spoken about your love for interiors lately, and setting up your space with your partner after the wedding can be just as exciting as planning the big day.

[Jo Fleming]

Especially when you've got options like the Fenton and Fenton gift registry. It's full of beautiful, unexpected pieces, from bold artwork and sculptural furniture to colorful homewares. And one of a kind finds they.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Truly have the best pieces. And it's not just about choosing things Off a list, you can book a styling consult either in store or virtual to help create a wishlist that feels considered and cohesive.

[Jo Fleming]

It's such a great experience and the registry service is completely complimentary. From styling advice to delivery and gift wrapping, they've thought of everything.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

So if you're after a gift registry that's less expected and more elevated, start curating yours with Fenton.

[Jo Fleming]

And Fenton, head to fentonandfenton.com to explore the wish list.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

And thank you so much to Fenton and Fenton for making this episode of styling.

[Jo Fleming]

Annika, you and our producers have come together and put seven rules for the day of your wedding into this episode so that we can have a chat about them. Some of these are yours. Some of them are from members of the Shameless Media team. Do you want to kick us off with number one?

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay. Starting off strong. Zara, co founder of Shameless Media and co host of Shameless Podcasts, has said, spend the night before with your partner is the easiest way to ease your nerves. So Zara said, I spent the night before my wedding with my partner and it was the best decision we made. He's the one I always want to be around when I am nervous. So it made no sense to me to spend time apart before a pretty mammoth day. We went out for dinner the night before, then slept at home and woke up so calm as if it was a normal weekend day. It was a very special and relaxed way to kick off our wedding.

[Jo Fleming]

I do like that I'm gonna be doing that. My mum was like, you can't stay together night before. I was like, watch me.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yeah, I think it's more common nowadays that people do do that.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, no, we didn't do that. And upon reflection I'm like, that actually would have been so special because I think it does help to take the edge off. But we. I actually had a sleepover with my mum and my bridesmaids the night before the wedding and it was really beautiful. But I think upon reflection, I would have actually loved to had more moments with James. It does help to like really take the nerves off. I think we stayed up all night giggling and like just being silly as well. And had a few probably too many champagnes the night before the wedding.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yeah, that would be me.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah. But it was nice having mum there as well.

[Jo Fleming]

What about you guys?

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So this is a bit of a hot debate, to be honest. We still haven't really landed on what we're doing. Yeah, we're traveling for our wedding. We are having a destination wedding. So we're staying in a hotel. There are two rooms in the hotel that we have access to. Lou is a bit of a traditionalist. He wants to stay apart. I do not. I know everyone's like, I'm so cute. I can see myself being quite needy the night before, which is off brand for me. But when I am a bit nervous and stressed, I do become quite a needy person, particularly with Lou. So I can see that happening. But I'm hopeful that a few champagnes, I'll have my mum there, probably until I go to bed and then I feel I'll be able to fall asleep. Yeah, that's the other thing. I want to be able to go to sleep. And I think it would be most natural for me to fall asleep without stress.

[Jo Fleming]

That's my thought process, is that I'm going to sleep better if it's a normal night, not trying to sleep over with other people and I'm not having a bridal party. So it just made more sense for.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Us to just stay together, famously, in my friendship group as well. I don't like sleeping with other people. You know, you go on holidays and you share a bed. I like to be in my own bed. But when it comes to Lou, I'm always most comfortable and confident next to him. What I think I will do is I'll be like, good night. You can go to bed in that separate room. And then I'm just gonna go in and sleep in there and he's gonna.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Wake up and you'll just be there.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Surprise.

[Jo Fleming]

We're getting married today.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, bless it. So special. And I think as well, like, that's just your person and it's like, I honestly would have loved to wake up in the morning with James. I mean, like, he. He still showing up today.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I love Zara's Rule. I think it's a good one. Jo, you're next.

[Jo Fleming]

So this one's from Cassie from the Shameless Media team. Tell your guests to ghost your wedding, which I love. She says, I love a good boogie on the dance floor. So instead of spending the last hour saying farewells, we had our MC announce at the start of the night that guests were more than welcome to ghost in the. Instead of saying goodbye. That way, we were free to enjoy the last hour and the best songs without you having to think about, oh, I'll see you and having those conversations, you get to enjoy the remainder of your wedding. I love this idea.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I love this idea also. How much time can be taken up being pulled away in different directions. It's Already so stressful. And Annika, coming back to what you said before about being a guest at your own wedding, this is the best way to do that if people aren't constantly interrupting you and intercepting you, particularly at the end of the night where all you want to do is let loose and have a serious boogie.

[Jo Fleming]

Exactly.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I feel like it should be like an unspoken rule, like no one interrupts you in those final hours of the wedding, whether it's one or two. But like at so many weddings I've been to as well, and even my own, some people kind of realize, oh my God, I haven't gotten a photo yet with the bride and groom and then they kind of pull you to have a last minute photo on their way out, like, no, thank you. This is when I've like, let my hair down completely. I don't look as immaculate as I previously did. Like, let the girl have some fun.

[Jo Fleming]

I might weave this into my own wedding, to be honest.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Do it.

[Jo Fleming]

You can say your thank yous in your speech.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay, moving on to rule number three. This one's for you, Anika, take us away.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yes. Okay, so a big rule that I really, really, really want to highlight is don't try new trends when it comes to your wedding looks. Now obviously that can be anything from like hair, makeup, nails, but even like your outfitting, you want to kind of feel more kind of intrinsically like you. And I think that was the biggest takeaway for me when it came to planning my wedding looks and doing hair and makeup in particular. I just wanted to feel like me. And I feel like when you do that as well, you can kind of look back and still love the pictures. I was actually super lucky to have two of my dearest girlfriends, Hannah and Katie, do my hair and makeup. And they did not only me, but they did my mum, my mother in law and bridesmaids as well. So it actually made the morning of feel really special. We got a bit of extra time together and honestly, I look back now and I still love my look. Like I didn't go rogue like she does and go with like, you know, some crazy makeup or anything. Like that was not me. Like, it was very me.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I wholeheartedly agree. I've already said this. I think in every episode. Your wedding day is not the day to experiment. No, the beauty thing, I mean, Jo, you could speak to this. Oh yeah, you've got windows. You cannot get treatments within a certain window. Talk us, talk to us about that.

[Jo Fleming]

Heaps of clients come to me a bit too late and they're like, oh, I want to do a whole skin journey now. I'm like, we're only 12 weeks out. That's not going to happen right now. Let's just keep things relatively the same. Change. One product that I know is not going to cause any purging, which is a temporary breakout that you can get from starting new products. Don't go and use a new sheet mask you've never used the night before. I've seen allergic reactions happen to brides and bridal parties from doing that. You've got to be really careful with what goes on your face during that time.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So my makeup artist warned me about getting a lash lift. I've never done a lash lift before, but apparently that can cause some issues as well in terms of irritations or reactions.

[Jo Fleming]

But also it's harder for them to put individual lashes on. That's why they ask you not to have one.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Right, interesting.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So not the time to experiment. I also think this is the case with outfits. This is me personally and we did go back and forth on this in the previous episode, but I wholeheartedly believe that is not the day for experimenting with new looks. I do think you should stick to what you know, because what you don't want is a scenario where perhaps further down the track, when you're closer to your wedding date, you then start to doubt. It's already feeling a bit overwhelming and you're questioning everything. You don't want to have to question the look.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

It's so true.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Stick with what you know.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So I'm with you on that one, Annika.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

That's a shared role, I definitely think as well. I feel quite lucky because, one, I align more with the boomer. But when I was planning my wedding, TikTok wasn't really a thing. So I wasn't really caught up in the algorithm and I wasn't kind of getting served all these looks that were like, this is the 2025 beauty look and the wedding look of like, get the year. And it's kind of like I feel like right now in this day and age, you get so inundated with, like, content that it's so easy to get led astray. So, yes, stay true to you.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Okay. Rule number four, be a guest at your own wedding. This was from Michelle, co founder of Shameless Media, who also helped co produce this episode. I heard this on a wedding episode of the Kick Pod just before my own wedding, and I'm so glad I did. Steph and Laura hit the nail on the head. You've got all the venue staff and your loved ones to help you have an amazing day. Particularly so if you have an on the day planner or coordinator. You are not there to play host to everyone or feel the pressure to get around and say hello to every single guest. You're there to enjoy the day you've put so much energy and thought into. Give yourself permission to sit back, embrace the energy of the room, and trust that those working the event are across the hosting duties.

[Jo Fleming]

Could not agree more with this. I actually spoke about this with Adrian the other night because I tend to get a bit overstimulated. I can do like a couple of hours of socializing and then I need my alone time. I just need to regroup before I can then go back to a crowd. So I've decided that there's going to be a time of the night that I'm just going to take myself off and he might come with me and we may just, like, have a little chat together about how the night's going and just have a drink together without all of the other people coming up to us and talking to us. And I just know I'm gonna get really exhausted socially and emotionally, and I wanna be able to enjoy, like, the dance floor and all of that stuff without feeling like, oh, my God, I just need to get away from all of these people. It's been such a big day.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

It's a really nice way to step away with your partner and soak it all in. You can really embrace the experiences. You can also have a little gossip. Yes. Anything you can share.

[Jo Fleming]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. Did you see that? They're wearing a T shirt.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Reminder not to wear a T shirt to Jo's wedding.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I totally agree. It's like the day itself can be so overwhelming. And one of my dear girlfriends actually gave me that advice as well. She was like, at any point in time, just try and find those special little moments or pockets of calm where you and James can just go and have a drink, reconnect, check in on each other. Because it's literally like so much unfolds and then it goes by in a blink of an eye. And you're literally like, did I dance? Did I do this? Did I see that person? Like, honestly, who cares? Trust the venue to take care of all of the hosting and the serving of drinks and whatever. Who cares about anyone's problems? Just lean into having the best possible time. I definitely took that advice on board.

[Jo Fleming]

And what time did you get home, Monica?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We actually ended up in a club until 5am it's another story for a wine bar girls.

[Jo Fleming]

But it was like, she's rogue.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm so rogue, you guys.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I could see myself doing that. Yeah. There is no club in the bar in hinterlands. Thank God.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

We'll make her on.

[Jo Fleming]

There was the option to extend our wedding by half an hour. I was like, nope, no, I'm gonna be done with it by then.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

We're starting our wedding a little bit earlier because when you get married in the hinterland, you have to factor in they have noise restrictions. So they all finish very early. So we're starting earlier so that we can, you know, perfect still party.

[Jo Fleming]

If you're building a wedding registry and want something that feels truly personal, let me put you on to Fenton and Fenton. Their gift registry is anything but ordinary. Think curated art, bold homewares, and statement furniture that actually reflects your style. You can even book a virtual or in store styling consult to help pull it all together. It's a totally complimentary service with gift wrapping and delivery included. Start your gift registry [e-mail] all right, Rule 5 is from Mish. Know what you're doing with your boobs and practice before the big day. She says niche, I know, but God, I wish I'd heard this one before I got married. I have small boobs and was in a backless dress and I just figured what I was gonna do on the day, stick on bra taping, et cetera, would work itself out. A minor disaster struck when I realized the tape I'd bought was a stark enough orange that it showed through my semi sheer bodice. So if you don't know exactly what's happening with your boobs on the day, do a dress practice in the days leading up just to, you know, make sure that everything that's going on underneath is taken care of. I would definitely encourage that as well. Do a trial run. Yeah.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Is this going to be a problem for you based on your dress or you think you're in your hands?

[Jo Fleming]

I think I'm not going to need to do anything under there.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yeah.

[Jo Fleming]

I think the part of the dress that's covering those will do. What it needs to do is in your boobs. Yeah, I don't need nipple covers or stick on bras or anything like that.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, great.

[Jo Fleming]

Yeah.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I think this is honestly great advice. I wasn't even going to try on my dress at the final fitting. I was like, oh, it's perfect. Like. And the lady, beautiful, beautiful lady insisted. She was like, let's just put it on to make sure. I was obviously clearly very stressed at the time because I had actually lost weight through my chest to the point where I couldn't even fill out, like, the corset, which was strap. So she actually ended up putting some additional padding in to give the girls a little lift and actually help to make it fill out. Like, honestly, great advice.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So that's a tip on a tip. Yeah. Make sure you try your dress on at your final fitting.

[Jo Fleming]

Is it going to impact you, what you're doing with your boobs?

[Rhiannon Joyce]

No. How I put it on, though, does. So I do need someone else to help put me in my dress because it has a corset.

[Jo Fleming]

Okay.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I've actually purchased a pair of. Of cotton gloves for anyone who touches my dress to wear.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

She's clever.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Oh, yeah. The last thing I want on my wedding dress, makeup stains or anything. And I can't remember where I read this. I think it was a random blog that suggested buy those cotton gloves for your bridesmaids or your mother to wear whilst they're putting you in it. So I have 12 pairs. I don't have 12 bridesmaids, but just in case.

[Jo Fleming]

In case someone loses.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Oh, you need a pair. Oh, you want to touch my drink? Here you go.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Here you go. Honestly, this is also great advice because even going to the bathroom. I'm not even kidding. Two of my bridesmaids had to come with me. I only had two.

[Jo Fleming]

Cowboy it. So you basically, you hop on frontways.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

What do you mean?

[Jo Fleming]

So instead of turning around, sitting on it, you go forward, you shimmy onto it, you face the cistern.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Oh, okay. You really have to talk me through this.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

She's doing the actions as well.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

The visuals is the visuals held up. I'm so sorry.

[Jo Fleming]

Someone else can hold your dress at the back, and you can just have the front lifted up yourself. And it just give you more room to wipe and do what you need to do.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

That's great. That's honestly really good advice.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yeah, that's great advice. And thank you for that. Visual rule six. If you're getting married in your home city, consider sleeping at home and throwing that money you'd spend on a hotel on your honeymoon. This one's from Zara, so Zara suggested a simple one. I feel like there's so much pressure to sleep anywhere but your own bed on the evening of your wedding, but I couldn't think of anything better than waking up at home married and do all the glossy stuff on the honeymoon. What do you guys think of this?

[Jo Fleming]

I'm Sensing Zara has a real attachment to her Ben.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yeah. And her husband, which is beautiful. We love Ollie.

[Jo Fleming]

No, I'm fully on board with this. If my wedding wasn't two hours away, I would definitely stay at my own house. I just, I love the comfort of my own home and I don't need to be elsewhere. And I also have this, like, complex about forgetting stuff at home because I'm really forgetful. So I don't want to leave something important at home and then have to go back and. Yeah, that's. That's already making me nervous for my own wedding.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, we stayed at a hotel which was just to be close to Haz, but there was honestly no need. I mean, I was out till 5am so I wasn't really there for much time anyway. But I honestly think that it's kind of an old school mentality where it's like, you know, you're meant to go and stay somewhere special. I would have loved to have woken up at home with James and my.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Dog Miso if we were getting married in Melbourne. Absolutely would have stayed at home. I do not sleep well in hotel beds. I struggle. So I just would have eliminated that issue. Yeah, unfortunately. Well, I do have that issue now that I'm still open. But, yeah, if we were staying in Melbourne, we would be staying at home. We're obviously not staying in Melbourne. We're getting married destination in Byron Bay. So we are staying in a hotel. I also think Zara's right. Take that money and invest it in your honeymoon.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Have you guys thought about your honeymoon plans?

[Jo Fleming]

We're just in the beginning stages of that at the moment. We're considering a few different options. I'd love to go back to Europe. We're just, we're just sussing that out at the moment, seeing what budget's left for the honeymoon.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

That is so real.

[Jo Fleming]

What about you guys?

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So we actually haven't made any honeymoon plans as of yet. We are staying in Byron for a few days just after. But in terms of what we do, we'll make that a fun little thing that we can plan after the wedding. Have something else to look forward to, you know?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yeah, yeah, that's what we did. We honestly, we didn't have our honeymoon until almost like a year after our wedding. And it was kind of go, go, go straight after the wedding. Some of our friends did decide to stay on in Melbourne and we had our family with us probably for a good month after the wedding. So it was so beautiful in like that sense. But it gave Us something else to look forward to. And it was probably closer towards our first wedding anniversary as well. So it was just all the feels all over again.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Nice little sentimental moment. Okay, Annika, rule seven. Our final rule. Take it away.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Yes. So this was a big one for us, but the small details won't actually matter on the wedding day, so we didn't have a wedding planner. And I worried about out every little detail in the lead up to our wedding that I honestly did not enjoy the wedding planning process. I literally walked down with an eye twitch, which I highly did not recommend, ladies. And I was so stressed. So once the ceremony, though, was over and I had a chance to honestly take it all in, I kind of just reconnected and was able to ground myself again on what was this day about. The fact was, I had everything I had wanted right in front of me. And I know this sounds so cliche. I. But everything was perfect. All those silly little worries I had didn't even cross my mind. I literally had the most perfect day ever.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

How do you think you were able to stick to this?

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Great question. I think it was remembering my why?

[Rhiannon Joyce]

So Annika's sending me in this episode.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I'm j. Shitty. Like, come on.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

You've got so many words of wisdom.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Thank you. Yeah. I honestly, there was so much stress, and I'm not gonna lie about that. It was no easy feat like. Like running a business at the same time as managing my household, managing my husband, managing everything was a lot as well as planning the wedding. And I just had to keep coming back to, why are we doing this? So those grounding moments, I think, really, really made the day what it was, because it kind of. You know, we might not have had all the glitz and glams that you will see at a lot of weddings, but what we had was what mattered specifically to us. Yeah.

[Jo Fleming]

And I think a lot of people can probably relate to that emotional element that was tied to your wedding and the reason that you had to do it in eight weeks. And that in itself is stressful enough. And then you just compound that with all of the other stuff. So I'm not surprised that you were stressed the fuck out and had not. You poor thing.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

I do have one more question for you.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Take it away.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

What things do you think you can let go of during this process? Set it free.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Okay, so for me, again, it was those silly, minute, nitpicky little details. I had this visual in my head. One of my girlfriends had said to me, okay, whatever you do, make sure the bar is kind of out of sight. Make sure no one's got boxes and like things laying around. You don't wanna see any rubbish bins. You don't wanna see all these things. So I honestly was like psychotic about this. I remember saying to my bridesmaids, you have to go around and make sure there is not like anything inside that could be like a rubbish bin or the stupidest little things. And then the photographer was like, annika, that's my job. I'm gonna make sure there's none of that shit in the background. And I'm not even kidding. I was like stressed about the silliest things. And again, it was like trusting the experts. We've hired these people to hopefully do the most incredible job and just trusting the process as well. My bridesmaid and my maid of honor, Jules. Like, honestly, she was incredible. She's kind of like took on the role of creative director. So she had planned all the scenes and had already done the scope. So I just leaned on her, trusted her to really curate the process as well.

[Jo Fleming]

What a friend to have great friends.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Honestly, if you guys need her, I'll just start hiring her out. She's amazing.

[Jo Fleming]

Before we wrap up, I actually want to throw in a bonus rule because I couldn't go past this one. I think it's really important. It was actually from Cassie in the Shameless Media team. She said, wear loose clothing when getting ready. She wore a lovely strappy bralette under her PJs while getting ready. But when she took it off, she had a noticeable bra strap mark on her back. I've seen this in photos and videos as well. After brides have been getting their makeup done. And then you can see the indented part where the strap has been. So if you are getting straight into your dress after that, definitely opt for something that's a bit flowier, doesn't have really tight straps like a bra. Maybe like a nightie or some jammies or something that you can put on.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't wear a bra on a good day, let alone I'm wearing one for this recording. But most of the time, no, thank you. I remember when Cassie told me about this, it was one of the first things she said. She started to get a bit shaky and stressed about that. It wasn't going away as well. Yeah, it did in the end. And Cassie looked absolutely beautiful, but I would not have thought that. So that's a nice little one to just throw in.

[Jo Fleming]

What are you wearing the morning on of? What did you wear. Annika.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

I just Wore Some silky PJs and honestly, I didn't put any thought into it. It was just kind of just happened. And then we had, I guess, a bit of a first look at the hotel as well. So I wanted to look cute when I was getting those photos taken, but I really didn't think about it.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

The reason why I'm not thinking about it is we don't have a photographer there at that point. We've actually asked our photographer to come later so we can get more photos of reception.

[Jo Fleming]

I think I might do some nice silky PJs. Gorgeous, I reckon. Yeah, I do have some in mind that I've got in the drawer, so I can probably just use it. I know a lot of people buy new things to wear on the day. I've already got stuff I can just throw something on.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Well, this was honestly one of my favorite chats that we've had and we've had a few of them.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Oh, I love you guys.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Annika, thank you so much for being our special guest today. And thank you for joining us on the final episode of the Wedding series by Stylish, I will say as well, it was so nice for you to share all of those beautiful moments. It was all about the feelings and I hope everyone that's listening to this episode takes that away from what we've been trying to achieve with this series. That's all from us. We really loved creating this series for you all, so thank you for joining.

[Jo Fleming]

Us and we'll have happily do it again if anyone wants to talk to us about our weddings after they're done post Wedding series.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

Honestly, if you guys need help finding buskers, like I'm your girl, we love it.

[Rhiannon Joyce]

Thank you guys.

[Annika Joshi Smith]

This podcast was recorded on Wurundjeri land. Always was, always will be Aboriginal land.