Jo Fleming (3:26)

Love that. And so international weddings, normally you can cut down the guest list a little bit. A lot of people are unable to make the trip for international weddings. So how many guests did you end up with?

Anjana Kalouf (3:36)

So we had 40 guests that came to India which was amazing. Honestly. We were at a period in our lives where a lot of our close friends were also getting married or having babies, which cut a lot of the guest list down. We also knew that we'd want to do something back home in Melbourne as well to celebrate with everybody else. So we were happy to have a boutique intimate wedding in India.

Rhiannon Joyce (3:56)

I feel like, Jo, we're going to be playing a little bit of tag team here with questions because aannsh, there are so many amazing details. We really want to know about both of your weddings. So I want to start with the dress. Describe your dress.

Anjana Kalouf (4:08)

Well, there wasn't one dress I think will be the place where we'll start. Would have been nice to have had one dress that could have gone through it all, but they were just two very different weddings. In Melbourne I went for a traditional ivory lace long sleeve dress which is really special. I knew that I didn't want something custom designed. I wanted to eliminate the room for error and I was able to go into a store. I loved her things, I knew what she'd done. I wanted to be able to try on the exact dress and have a pretty good idea for what it would look and feel like and then have it made to measure.

Rhiannon Joyce (4:41)

Would you say that you're someone who, when you started that journey, you had a very clear vision around what you liked and what you wanted to try on, or did you go in with no expectations?

Anjana Kalouf (4:49)

I went into the first shop. I knew exactly what I wanted. I knew that they'd be able to do it for me in the timeframe that I wanted it in. But I did go and have a day with my bridesmaids, you know, trying on lots of different dresses, things that I would never have put on because it really reconfirmed for me that the first dress was the one.

Rhiannon Joyce (5:04)

And you know what? When you go through this experience, sometimes you can choose like I did and not try on anything and just know, go, no, that's exactly what I like. But I do reflect. Even only having done that process recently, I didn't take anyone to my appointments. I very much was like, I'm clear about what I was saying. Were you the same?

Jo Fleming (5:22)

Yeah. I was like, I don't need anyone here. Yeah.

Rhiannon Joyce (5:24)

But what you're saying, edge. I do. Part of me is a bit like, oh, I wish I did have that special moment with them for them to all get excited. And I recently just did this with one of my closest friends. It is quite a lovely moment, but it's gone now for me.

Anjana Kalouf (5:38)

No, but funny, none of my bridesmaids knew the actual dress, so none of them came to that shop because it was early days. And I was like, I know in my head what dress I want. Okay, I'm gonna go in on my own and meet with them, try it on. When you've got this dress in your head and you've kind of seen similar inspiration pictures, you don't know how it's actually gonna look on you. And I tried that dress on, and immediately I was like, okay, this is definitely the dress. Still booked in the day with my girlfriends. They knew I'd tried something else.

Rhiannon Joyce (6:03)

So you had a mock day?

Anjana Kalouf (6:04)

I had a mockdown.

Rhiannon Joyce (6:05)

That's great.

Anjana Kalouf (6:05)

So I was about to say, you're not too late.

Rhiannon Joyce (6:07)

Go and try on random dresses. Even though I've already picked up my wedding dress just so I can have that beautiful experience that you had.

Anjana Kalouf (6:13)

We drank the champagne.

Rhiannon Joyce (6:14)

We, you know, that's what it's all about.

Anjana Kalouf (6:16)

They put on ridiculous dresses, too. It was actually really fun.

Jo Fleming (6:19)

So was it the same vibe with the dress for the Indian wedding? Did you know exactly what you wanted.

Anjana Kalouf (6:24)

This is a very funny question, Jo. I think so. With Indian weddings, there's certain colors that you do and don't wear, depending on what part of India you're from or what religion you might follow. So I had a rough idea of the color that I might wear. There were four events that we hosted in India, so that meant four different dresses, sarees or outfits. They were completely different to the Melbourne wedding. They were lots of bright colours. So part one was the henna day, which is when you get all the henna tattoos on your hands and all of your guests get all henna'd up. I wore a green saree to that event. All of my guests, actually, to make it really easy for them, I guided them on the colors they should wear too. The next outfit was a yellow saree for a cleansing day. So there's like a cleansing ceremony where all of the women in your come along and they effectively put a clay mask all over you.

Jo Fleming (7:12)

Sounds like a dream.

Anjana Kalouf (7:13)

It's amazing and it's so much fun and it gets really silly. And the clay is yellow. So we went with the yellows that day, which was really beautiful. That evening there was a dancing night, which is with traditional music, and everyone gets involved and does performances, and it's really embarrassing but hilarious and so fun. And I wore a royal blue that night, so everyone was in different shades of blue. And then the wedding day, I wore red, which is super traditional. No one else wears red on that day.

Rhiannon Joyce (7:40)

Didn't Kim Kardashian famously wear red to someone else's wedding?

Anjana Kalouf (7:43)

To the Ambani wedding.

Rhiannon Joyce (7:44)

That's right.

Anjana Kalouf (7:45)

Which everyone lost their minds over because it's just not uncommon. It's not the dumb thing.

Rhiannon Joyce (7:50)

So many amazing experiences. All in all, what was the best moment? And it might be hard to pick, but you have to pick one.

Anjana Kalouf (7:56)

Oh, God. Can I say two? Can I please?

Rhiannon Joyce (7:59)

Okay, Ange, you may have two.

Anjana Kalouf (8:00)

Okay. Well, because one styling specific, and I think I have to say I didn't pre purchase any outfits before I went to India. For some reason, the control freak in me was so focused on getting the wedding right. I kind of just trusted that I could get to India a week before the wedding and find and have made all four.

Rhiannon Joyce (8:17)

Oh, wow.

Anjana Kalouf (8:18)

Everyone in my life was shocked when we got to India and they're like, oh, we've all got a shop. And I was like, oh, so do I. And they were like, what do you mean? I was like, I don't have a wedding dress. And so we landed. It was like midday on A Saturday into New Delhi. We all got on tuk tuks and went into the markets. There was a tailor I'd been told was amazing and he took all of my measurements. He threw fabric everywhere. We were all there. And it's this room, probably the size of the space, and we're all on mats on the ground and there's just like floor to ceiling towers of fabric and they throw them all over you and they've got music.

Jo Fleming (8:53)

This sounds like a movie.

Anjana Kalouf (8:54)

It's honestly outrageous. And they're bringing out cups of chai. And you're sitting there and you're figuring out all of your things. They take your measurements and then you put your trust in them. And I was basically like, great, I'll see you in Rajasthan in a week with all of my dresses.

Jo Fleming (9:07)

Could you have faulted any of them?

Anjana Kalouf (9:08)

Were there any that you were like, they were perfect. There are a few sizing issues. So. But they arrived with their crew, so they literally arrived.

Rhiannon Joyce (9:15)

So they alter in real time.

Anjana Kalouf (9:17)

They altered in real time because that was probably the one time I really panicked. I was like, wait, these don't fit quite right. Mum's like, that's okay, they're all here. I was like, what do you mean they're all here?

Rhiannon Joyce (9:26)

And what was the second moment? Because we did give you two.

Anjana Kalouf (9:29)

Okay, thank you. It was actually not styling related, but it was a photo shoot in the desert that James and I did at sunset on one of the middle days.

Jo Fleming (9:36)

I need to see these photos.

Anjana Kalouf (9:37)

It was incredible. We went into the sand dunes on camels and we had this photo shoot that was honestly, it's pinch me. Feels like a dream.

Jo Fleming (9:46)

Yeah.

Rhiannon Joyce (9:46)

Are you loving reflecting on all of these moments?

Anjana Kalouf (9:49)

Obsessed eight years later and getting to do this. James and I've been sitting there at nights looking at all the photos.

Jo Fleming (9:53)

That's so nice.

Anjana Kalouf (9:54)

Talking about it. It's actually been so nice.

Rhiannon Joyce (9:56)

Okay, let's round it out with any regrets. Is there anything you look back on?

Anjana Kalouf (10:01)

You're like, oh, no regrets. I've got a few tips. Have we got time for a couple of tips?

Rhiannon Joyce (10:05)

We've got time for a couple of tips. Hit us with the tips.

Anjana Kalouf (10:07)

International wedding. Just trust the process. Things or any destination, I suspect, because if you're not going to be there. I was the only bride in the world's history to have a wedding international. I think that I hadn't seen the venue. Like, I'd never been on a trip to do the recce. But I just trusted. I trusted my brief. I was really clear I didn't leave any gray area. I had so many WhatsApp chats with the local on ground wedding guy who happened to be also the hotel manager. And they just brought it all to life. I was really clear with what we wanted. He was amazing. And lots of visual guidance on exactly what we wanted to do. I also think that letting go of perfection was amazing because it actually meant that James and I were able to also experience everything as at the same time as our guests. And that made it really magical. I wasn't pulling puppet strings the whole time.

Jo Fleming (10:55)

That's actually a really good tip because I have encountered a few brides where I've been like, how's the day going? You know, during the wedding? And they're like, oh, you know, this, this and this has gone wrong. And I kind of don't want to be like that on my wedding day. I just want to completely ignore everything that's going on. Even if it's not going the way that it's meant to. I can't do anything about it. So it's just going to. I just have to roll with it 100%, Jo.

Anjana Kalouf (11:15)

And you actually won't remember those things either. Like I remember at the Melbourne wedding there when the lights were too bright, just a little bit too bright, no one noticed.

Jo Fleming (11:23)

Yeah.

Anjana Kalouf (11:24)

Eight years later, I still think about it didn't matter. You know, I was like, why would the lights so bright.

Rhiannon Joyce (11:29)

I fear I will think about those things.

Anjana Kalouf (11:31)

I think it's. I think it's natural when you've put so much into it. But I do think there's an element of having to let go when it's a destination.

Rhiannon Joyce (11:38)

I think the reality of it is you can think about it. It doesn't mean it matters and it takes away from the experience at all. So as long as you're not ruin your day or you know, the energy or wishing your day away, I think that's the most important thing.

Jo Fleming (11:49)

Yeah.

Anjana Kalouf (11:50)

And then I feel like there was a regret. Not really a regret, but maybe I should have sold my dress. It's in a box. Like you can't keep it out because it can get damaged. And so you get it like specially dry cleaned. They box it and seal it and.

Jo Fleming (12:01)

It'S like, there's still time.

Anjana Kalouf (12:02)

Look, maybe, I mean it's still a pretty classic style so, you know, never say never, but maybe that's, that's something to think about.

Rhiannon Joyce (12:08)

Ange, thank you so much for sharing so many amazing details about both of your weddings. I actually felt not completely transported Particularly going to India. It sounds like it was so much fun for all your guests, and you guys had the best time, and we absolutely loved hearing about it. Joe, do you want to take us through what we're getting into next?

Jo Fleming (12:25)

Yes. So obviously we got Ang in because she's a personal style icon, and this episode is all around personal style, and we wanted to bring you guys into the fold and ask, what do you want to know about the intersection between weddings and personal style? And how do you infuse your personality into your wedding day? So we're going to kick off with listening listener Mia's question. Reid, you want to take this one away?

Rhiannon Joyce (12:47)

Absolutely. So Mia asked us, how did you guys decide what your bridal look was going to be? How many did you try on? I mean, we've already touched on this a little bit and you've shared your story.

Jo Fleming (12:58)

Jo, I am kind of in the middle of this at the moment. I'm not quite there yet, so I feel like I'm not in a position to answer this clearly. But I tried on a couple of things, but like you, I just wanted to go by myself because I hate shopping with other people. I know what I like and I know what is going to look good, and I didn't want other people's opinion.

Rhiannon Joyce (13:18)

No, absolutely sounds really bad. I don't think it sounds bad at all. I think there's nothing worse than trying things on and receiving unsolicited opinions. And I love my friends and I love my family, but I feel my whole life I've been someone who has always preferred shopping alone, which is probably why I prefer shopping online, because I feel like it's just me, myself, and I don't have that, you know, dialogue from other people. I always wanted that process to be just me and the designer that I'm working with. I try on two other styles, and truthfully, I only did it because Priya, who I was working with, was usually people do try on other things just to 100% be sure. And I was like, fine, I'll do that for you, Priya. So I did try on a couple of dresses, but it was quickly on and off. I knew the style I wanted. It was the style I ended up going with. We made some custom alterations and some custom add ons, just so it felt really bespoke and really special. But for me, I think I've always had a very clear sense of what I like, but also what suits me. And I went in to this wedding process not deviating from that. And I think if there's one piece of advice, because we're in the game of giving advice, don't try anything new or gravitate to something that is very different to what you usually would. That's me personally. I just feel like that could be a recipe for disaster and maybe where some doubt would creep in.

Jo Fleming (14:35)

Yeah, downtown, potentially, as you get closer to the day, you're like, oh, should I have gone with that? But at the same time, I think it's worth trying styles that you don't naturally gravitate towards because you could end up putting it on and be like, oh, my goodness, I didn't think this was going to look amazing on me, but it does. So I think just the try on process can help you narrow down what you do like, because at the end of the day, none of us have worn a wedding dress. So it's. It is really helpful when you are going through that process to see what does look good, because I had no idea.

Rhiannon Joyce (15:04)

And look, you do hear a lot of stories about people who do go through that whole process thinking, I know exactly what I want. And then they are entertaining other dresses. Try something on and they're completely blown away and that ends up being the dress that they wear and that's the one that they're most confident in. So it definitely does.

Anjana Kalouf (15:18)

Yeah, I was just gonna say, because I think the three of us are all quite clear on what we wanted to wear to our weddings. And I think that looking at this question again, I wondered whether maybe Mia just doesn't really know. So I do think exploring it a bit more and maybe turning to Pinterest and thinking about what truly sings to you and then going in and trying them on, having that fun and exploring it, because you could be surprised. But also hopefully you find something that does feel like it's gonna bring out the best of you.

Jo Fleming (15:43)

Our next listener question is. I'm recently engaged and would love to try and avoid getting the dress that everyone will end up wearing. Time. The TikTok for your page is sneakily powerful. How did each of you pick dresses that you were confident? Were you instead of the algorithm? This is a great question that I really relate to.

Rhiannon Joyce (16:00)

Loved this question when it came through. I think at the moment it is so hard for women who are getting married to find a dress without being influenced by the algorithm. Joe, you just said you found this tricky. What's been hard for you?

Jo Fleming (16:15)

I tried on some styles and I was like, I've seen this On, I think, 50 other prides and it looks amazing. And I was like, oh, this looks so good. And I showed, like, my mom, I showed a couple of my friends, like, that does look really good. And I was like, I think I'm just gonna end up going, nah, I don't like it. I've over the year seen too many people that I know or too many people on Instagram wearing the same thing, and it's gonna make me not like it anymore. And that's just the, like, Aquarius in me. I think I want it to be unique, but, like, I know that it's not gonna be entirely unique. I know that, but I just want it to be slightly different.

Rhiannon Joyce (16:47)

I think with the algorithm at the moment, it's really hard because there are absolutely dress styles that are trending. And once you start the process of, you know, planning your wedding, that algorithm will constantly serve that content to you. So it is very hard to escape. Perhaps there's a way where you could reverse engineer it. If you're seeing everything on the algorithm, go for a dress that you're not seeing, and maybe that's a safe place to start. So, you know, what styles aren't you seeing out there on the Internet? You will go into these stores and there are other styles. Of course, there are trends that a lot of brands lean into and a lot of designers, but ultimately there are really classic styles that will stand the test of time that you can gravitate towards. So perhaps if there's a style in that store that you haven't seen, maybe.

Jo Fleming (17:30)

Start there or hear me out. Okay, you leave the algorithm. So you just stop engaging with all of the wedding content that you've been served, and after a couple of weeks, you won't be seeing it anymore.

Rhiannon Joyce (17:40)

Okay, Jo, let me know how you go with that as you continue to progress throughout this process.

Jo Fleming (17:46)

Although I do want to say as well, like, if you pick a dress and you're seeing seeing it on everybody, it's because it's popular, because everyone thinks it's beautiful.

Rhiannon Joyce (17:53)

I agree.

Jo Fleming (17:53)

So I don't think you should get disheartened by that. I know the feeling of being like, oh, my dress isn't unique and everyone's wearing it, but like it. Everyone's wearing it for a reason, because it's a stunning dress. So that's my advice.

Anjana Kalouf (18:03)

I agree with that. Look, guys, TikTok wasn't around eight years ago when I got married, thankfully, and I think we've got, you know, all of the different social channels to blame for this. But in the same vein, I picked my dress Eight months before my wedding. Let me tell you, how many girls were wearing long sleeve lace dresses. Come, you know, come round at a wedding time. And I do remember feeling a little bit like, how am I going to look unique and I'm just going to look like a copycat or I look like everybody else. I didn't. I looked like me and it was my wedding day. Not everybody else.

Jo Fleming (18:31)

Exactly.

Anjana Kalouf (18:31)

And I think, like, standing true with what you've decided on and backing yourself in and feeling confident in that. Who cares what anyone else is wearing?

Rhiannon Joyce (18:38)

Yeah. I don't think it matters if someone else is wearing a similar dress to you. The other advice I would give is maybe play around with accessories. If you're looking for something to feel different or feel unique, maybe it's less about the dress and it's more about how you're accessorizing it. Go for more of a statement shoe. Opt for a statement earring. Perhaps you could be a bit more adventurous with your veil. There are other elements that you can add to the overall look to make it feel more authentic and more personal to you.

Anjana Kalouf (19:06)

Yeah. I had a girlfriend that cut her hair into a bob, like, the night before her wedding because she was like, my dress is everywhere.

Jo Fleming (19:15)

That feels quite dramatic.

Anjana Kalouf (19:16)

But it was amazing and it paid off because it was like, wow, I haven't seen that before.

Rhiannon Joyce (19:21)

It's also the talking point, the hair, not the dress.

Anjana Kalouf (19:23)

Yeah.

Rhiannon Joyce (19:24)

So it's a really good way to shift the focus. Is she in prn?

Anjana Kalouf (19:27)

Yeah, she's a marketer.

Rhiannon Joyce (19:28)

I knew it.

Jo Fleming (19:29)

I was like, that sounds like someone.

Rhiannon Joyce (19:30)

Who'S, like, very strategic and will know how to, you know, shift the conversation. Yeah. All right, before we get into the next question, we have so many but we're going to throw to today's sponsor. Well, guys, with my wedding coming up so soon, you best believe I'm doing everything I can to chill out and reduce stress. Especially with such a busy schedule, finalizing wedding prep and wrapping up at work. One thing that has crossed my mind was avoiding any chance of grazing my skin. I'm usually a runner, but the thought of tripping or scraping any part of my body right now before my wedding, absolutely no. So for the last few weeks, I've started going to KX Pilates and I've become obsessed with reformer parties. I knew it was super low impact on the body, but it's been so incredibly calming for my mind and my body leading up to the wedding. If you've always wanted to get into Reforma Pilates, now is your Chance to join me as a newbie to KX. You can get five classes for just $60. What an absolute steal. Plus, they're celebrating 15 years of dynamic movement. There are over 100 studios across Australia and classes for all levels, including beginners. Head to kxpilates.com to get started with your intro pack. And thank you so much to KX Pilates for making this episode of Stylish possible.

Jo Fleming (20:37)

Okay, our next listener question is. I'm curious to know if you girls think it's unreasonable slash unrealistic to expect love your wedding dress forever. Is it inevitable that we'll all look back and go, what?

Rhiannon Joyce (20:49)

I mean, Ange, your best place to answer this, you were married eight years ago. How do you feel about your wedding dress now?

Anjana Kalouf (20:56)

I still love it. I would probably still wear something quite similar to that. Like, maybe my style's grown up a little bit. Maybe I'd show a little less leg. I don't know. Maybe not, though. Like, I just think I really wanted my whole wedding to feel quite classic, not just my dress. So all of my selections, everything we wanted to feel through both weddings we chose was just gonna be romantic. And as long as we came back to that on, every decision we made, I felt like it would last us a long time and it would see us through the next however many decades. And I still think that, like, we're coming up to 10 years and I feel like I back that. And the same with India. I feel like I made quite traditional choices.

Rhiannon Joyce (21:33)

Yeah. I think it was really nice that you could obviously dabble with both. It felt like. And correct me if I'm wrong, I don't wanna speak on your behalf by any means. It felt like Melbourne was a way to, you know, honour, I guess, the lace, the details. And then in India, it was more about embracing your culture.

Anjana Kalouf (21:47)

Absolutely. And that was what was so special about both. Just the connection to both of those cultures.

Rhiannon Joyce (21:53)

Yeah. And you're such a sentimental person. And I feel like even when you were telling that story before about your wedding, you can tell it meant so much to you to have that experience with your friends and with your family. I would say I don't think it's unrealistic to look back on 10 years and be like, you know, what if I got married now, I wouldn't wear that. I don't think it's fair to criticize yourself for that. For me, as you said, Ang, your style can evolve. How I dress eight years ago is very different to how I dress now. And for me to Expect that I dress the same as I do now in another eight years is probably unrealistic and I think a little bit harsh. So apply that same logic to when you look back at the photos of your wedding dress and what you're wearing. Also, it is inevitable that trends will have an influence on your day. And I think people need to really manage their expectations. Expectations around that, because the reality of it is as well, when you enter conversations with suppliers, venues, they too are influenced by trends. So a lot of the advice that you're getting on what something should look like or feel like is coming from a place of trends. So, you know, it's really, really hard to navigate that. So I feel like everyone just needs to be a little bit kinder to themselves. So future re be a bit nicer to pastry.

Anjana Kalouf (23:02)

And I might also add, I think it's a bit fun that when I do eventually unbox my dress again, I'll probably be like, oh, was that the right choice? You know, And I just think that's a part of the story. I'm like, I'm not gonna wear it again.

Jo Fleming (23:14)

But it's the trend cycle. Yeah, it all comes and goes. I remember trying on my mum's wedding dress years and years ago, and at the time I was like, this is so fugly. I would never wear this. And now I look at it and I can really, like, appreciate its beauty, because I think that's very much back in style now. So I can see why. Forty years ago, that was a really popular dress to wear. But maybe 10 years ago, when I tried that, I was like, oh, no, no, this isn't for me. So it all comes in cycles. There'll be a time probably where you can appreciate your wedding dress again, even if it seemed like it was a bit trendy at that time and you're embarrassed about it, 10 years later, 20 years later, you might be like, oh, actually, that was all right.

Rhiannon Joyce (23:49)

Absolutely. Fashion is so cyclical. I feel like it's inevitable.

Anjana Kalouf (23:53)

I think also reflecting on our wedding at the moment and going, like, with James, we've both been looking at these photos and just thinking how hot we both looked, and we're like, I think I'll always think that.

Rhiannon Joyce (24:02)

You know what I mean?

Anjana Kalouf (24:03)

Like, I'm like, maybe my dress won't be in fashion anymore, but I'm so proud of how I looked. I love me.

Rhiannon Joyce (24:09)

It's so funny you say that, Ange. Also, first of all, I love that you and James have really embraced this experience of Ange prepping for this A couple. That is so nice. But the hot thing I want to come back to because we did have a listener ask us or say to us, really, I want to look hot on my wedding day. Why does no one admit this? What is up with that? What is the sentiment around wanting to be hot? And there being a bit of judgment about that. What do you guys think?

Jo Fleming (24:33)

I could.

Anjana Kalouf (24:33)

I just did admit it.

Rhiannon Joyce (24:34)

Yeah, I love that. I completely agree. There's no issue with wanting to look super hot on your wedding day. My interpretation of that is maybe opting for something a little bit sexier. Maybe this listener is thinking, do I gravitate to something that's a bit more, you know, a bit of a leg, like, backless sort of moment? Maybe that's her interpretation of hot. Overall, I think everyone wants to look really hot on their wedding day. There's nothing wrong with that, I think.

Jo Fleming (24:57)

Think about Alison Bornstein's three words. That's something that I applied to selecting my wedding dress style. I was like, this just feels very, you know, core to me. And so I think if sexy is one of your words or hot is one of your words, then apply that to when you're selecting your dress.

Rhiannon Joyce (25:14)

Okay, next question. I'm feeling the pressure. I've seen a lot of discussion online that says it is good to give bridesmaids a few dress options to suit their personal style. Okay, I quite like where this is going, but how do you walk the line of giving them this grace and having a cohesive vibe? I'm having three bridesmaids. Do they all get a seven separate boat?

Jo Fleming (25:33)

This is a very interesting one. I'm not having any bridesmaids, but my opinion on this is that you should at least consult your bridesmaids about the style of dress that you're thinking of going with, just to make sure that everyone's really comfortable with the style and also that they feel confident, you know, with their body shape. Like, do they feel confident wearing a strapless dress? You've got to give them that kind of communication opportunity, I think, so that they can speak up and be like, oh, can we maybe go for something a little bit different to that? Or can we maybe go for this. This style dress in the same shade? And I actually really love that more people now are doing the same shade in different styles so that those bridesmaids can choose their own dresses?

Rhiannon Joyce (26:14)

Essentially, with the bridesmaids wearing the same dress, I don't think it's necessary at all. When I was looking at bridesmaids dresses, for me, it was More about the same color and the same fabric. But ultimately, I never set out on that journey making my bridesmaids feel like they didn't have an input. Yeah, you really need that open dialogue and conversation. There are also some of your closest friends or potentially your siblings. Why would you not want them to feel their most confident and their most comfortable? It blows my mind that some people do have the intention, and I do think they are a small minority of. You know, you see those tick tocks where it's like, oh, I want my bridesmaids to look ugly next to me. But why would you want that? I want my bridesmaids to look hot.

Jo Fleming (27:00)

And vice versa as well. Like, they want you to have what you want as well because it's your wedding day and they're there to support you and stand up there with you. So if someone said to me, you're in my bridal party and we're wearing a black dress, I'd say, all right. I'd rather if it was chocolate brown, but I'll wear the black.

Rhiannon Joyce (27:14)

Sure.

Jo Fleming (27:15)

I'll do it.

Rhiannon Joyce (27:16)

We know where Jo stands. I'm surprised you're not wearing a chocolate brown bag.

Jo Fleming (27:19)

I would dress.

Rhiannon Joyce (27:20)

Yeah, I consider that you fully would have.

Anjana Kalouf (27:24)

I agree. Look, I think that they're your best friends. Like, your bridesmaids are hopefully the people closest to you. So having that conversation with them around, probably the vision that you've got and the look going for and making sure that you're all aligned and then also just asking what they're most comfortable in. It wasn't common when I got married for bridesmaids to wear different dresses.

Jo Fleming (27:41)

Yeah.

Anjana Kalouf (27:42)

But I did have five bridesmaids who all had different heights and body sizes and shapes and things they just wanted to wear and didn't want to wear. So we just had an open conversation around, let's go and try some stuff on. If it works, it works, and if it doesn't, it doesn't. And it did. We got really lucky. They all loved the dresses, but I think if I had my time again, I would absolutely be like, this is to be going color. Go do whatever you want to do, and we'll tie it all together somehow.

Jo Fleming (28:03)

Yeah, definitely. Okay. Our next listener asked, if there's one thing I know about me, it's that I don't suit pearls. It seems like every bridal accessory and shoe seems to feature pearls. Do you have some inspiration to avoid pearls?

Rhiannon Joyce (28:16)

I think pearls are very traditional. I don't know if you guys know this, but they actually symbolize Purity and grace, which is why they're often used in weddings.

Anjana Kalouf (28:24)

Cute.

Rhiannon Joyce (28:25)

It is cute, but it's also a little bit archaic. I think if you want to avoid using pearls, there are some great options. Obviously diamonds are also very popular. With the rise of lab grown diamonds, they're also a lot more affordable. And we were talking off mic, you had some really good ideas as well around borrowing items.

Anjana Kalouf (28:45)

I didn't have anything borrowed in my plan. And when it got closer to the wedding in India, I actually wore a pair of my mum's very old Indian costume jewelry earrings just to bring my outfit to life for the evening, for the party bit. And for the Melbourne wedding, I borrowed a pair of James, his mum's beautiful earrings as well.

Rhiannon Joyce (29:02)

That's so nice.

Jo Fleming (29:03)

So nice. Yeah, I love that little tradition for both weddings as well.

Rhiannon Joyce (29:07)

Yeah.

Anjana Kalouf (29:07)

And it just added to that, like that authenticity and the fact that no one, even if they were all in long, long sleeve lace dresses, they weren't gonna have the same earrings on as me. So that was just me personalizing it.

Rhiannon Joyce (29:17)

Yeah, I'm actually doing the same thing. I'm wearing a bracelet from my mother in law and I'm borrowing a pair of my mum's earrings. So you have that nice little sentimental moment moment. What are you thinking of doing?

Jo Fleming (29:28)

Well, I think it's really like it depends on the style of your dress. Right. Because pearls might not go with your vibe. Like if you're wearing a boho style dress, the pearls aren't going to suit, so you might want to go with something chunkier. I haven't really decided what I'm doing with accessories yet. I think I need to see the dress coming together before I decide. But I'm seeing a lot on Instagram that I'm like saving because I'm like, oh, that would be really nice. I think I want to go something almost statement y, but I'm not quite sure what that will be. So I'm still working on it. But. But if I was trying to avoid pearls, I'd probably knowing my style, I would go for like dainty gold jewelry, like, you know, thin chains and maybe something with a pendant on it. Maybe something with diamonds or diamantes, you know, whatever your vibe is.

Rhiannon Joyce (30:11)

Even stones. I'm seeing a lot of emeralds, a lot of sapphires.

Anjana Kalouf (30:15)

Even the earrings you're wearing now, re. I love the vintage gold and that ruby red pop. I just think that'd be perfect for a wedding day.

Rhiannon Joyce (30:21)

I love these earrings. I actually thought about wearing them on my wedding day. The pair of earrings I always wear to any wedding, I'm a guest. I actually wore them on the weekend. But I do love a statement, Joe, so I'm excited to see you go down that path. I also wanted a bit of a statement, so I decided to swap my earrings out after the ceremony. So I'm going for a really classic paired back, sleek look for the ceremony. I did try both on when I picked up my dress and I was like, no, I want that classic clean look. And then after I'm swapping out my earrings and making a bit of more of a statement and having more fun. So also a great tip. I know there's a lot of pressure right now where people feel like they have to wear two dresses. That is absolutely not the case. You can also swap in different accessories. Swap your shoes out.

Anjana Kalouf (31:04)

Take your veil off.

Rhiannon Joyce (31:05)

Take your veil off. Like my sister, she put on pink cowboy boots after, you know, the formalities. That's part of her personal style. Yeah. And it was really important to her that she could honor that. And she did. She also had a, almost like a sequin veil as well. And it was beautiful and it was just this really nice little trimming and it was very delicate. But she did a great job at honoring that eccentricness and her personal style while in the ceremony, but also the reception. So there are other ways that you can do that without having to, you know, buy a whole new dress.

Jo Fleming (31:33)

Absolutely.

Anjana Kalouf (31:33)

I love that.

Rhiannon Joyce (31:34)

KX pilates is celebrating 15 years of dynamic movement with over 100 studios across Australia. They've become leaders in Reformer Pilates, offering a modern, results driven workout that's low impact and accessible for all levels. Each class is small and personalized with just 12 to 14 people, so you get the attention and support you need. Whether you're a beginner or more experienced. New to KX, you can get started with five classes for just 60 doll as part of their intro offer. Head to kxpilates.com to find your nearest studio and book in today. So this is a bigger question, but how do I make a whole wedding cohesive from the bridal party looks to the styling? Where do I even start? What do you guys.

Jo Fleming (32:14)

Maybe you need to answer this one first, considering you've done it.

Anjana Kalouf (32:17)

I just don't think you do. I think that, you know, Pinterest and Instagram and now TikTok, maybe paint a picture that everything has been so tightly woven together to tell one entire story. That's what the wedding is like. You'll reflect on it. It'll all come together because you and your partner will be that thread. Hopefully you've made selections that feel true to you and to the people closest to you that are involved in the day. And therefore, that is it. I don't think I have ever left a wedding and I've been to many where I've gone, oh, that didn't feel like it all tied together. I've come away saying, that was really lovely and it felt like them. I think that's what you want to go for.

Rhiannon Joyce (32:57)

I completely agree. I don't think it needs to be cohesive at all. And as you. You said, I've never thought that leaving someone's wedding, this didn't all match or wasn't aligned. I've always left a wedding thinking, that was such a beautiful ceremony. The vows were so beautiful. How lovely was that speech? You remember the feelings, you don't remember the styling. And I think that's a nice reminder for brides as well to not get caught up in thinking that everything has to be perfect. Cohesive styling, it's all about the feelings.

Jo Fleming (33:24)

Yeah, absolutely. I think if styling is really important to you and that's a big factor of your day and how you're doing, going to look back on it and you don't have the budget for a wedding stylist. Ask ChatGPT if you've got the premium version, you can ask them to mock up some, like, visuals for you to then be able to work off so that you can at least see what it might look like all coming together based on what you think you might want to have at your wedding day.

Anjana Kalouf (33:48)

That's a great piece of advice. ChatGPT. All your existing suppliers. My best friend did my flowers and I was very lucky because she's an amazing flower florist. She did that for me. So she was like, I do this for lots of brides. I will just map out a bit of a vision board of how the flowers will center things and then what else we might do just to make sure it does all feel like it's a part of the same story. And that was amazing because she also pulled out anything that felt like we were overdoing it or overthinking it or adding too much in unnecessarily. So that's another piece of advice, is like, lean on the people you're already working with and ask them for their advice.

Jo Fleming (34:21)

Yeah. And don't put too much pressure on yourself. Like, Instagram just has made a monster out of all of us, I think.

Rhiannon Joyce (34:26)

Oh, yeah. I think we all need a nice reminder that Instagram is not real life.

Jo Fleming (34:30)

It's a highlight reel.

Rhiannon Joyce (34:31)

And I know we say that all the time, but particularly when it comes to planning your wedding. Keep that top of mind.

Jo Fleming (34:36)

Absolutely. All right, next question is, I'm having a winter wedding in Melbourne in July. What should I wear to stay warm? How do I look chic when it's cold?

Rhiannon Joyce (34:45)

Well, Ange, you too had a winter wedding.

Anjana Kalouf (34:47)

I did. It was. It was April, but it was definitely fresh in the Yarra Valley. And the long sleeves again, my. My lace long sleeves kept me really warm. It was a thicker lace and it was actually part of the reason we chose the time for our wedding. Because I didn't want to be hot and sweaty on the wedding day. So I was like, I am definitely wearing long sleeves, so this wedding cannot be high. Summer long sleeves were amazing. I loved them for me as because they were just part of the dress. I think another thing that looks really glamorous, Gloves. They're having a real moment.

Jo Fleming (35:15)

I can't recommend boobish luxe.

Rhiannon Joyce (35:18)

Boobish lux.

Jo Fleming (35:19)

B U B I S H Look them up. Okay. Best wedding accessories in terms of things to wear over the top of your dress. They've got shawls, they've got boleros, they've got little jackets. Just stunning options for a wedding day to still look really chic and elevated.

Rhiannon Joyce (35:34)

I fundamentally believe that for nighttime evening where you need to leave the trench coats the day we're at home and you need to opt for something that is a little bit more elegant, a little bit more elevated. I love a classic shawl. Just a beautiful silk shawl draped over the shoulders, a faux fur. Interestingly, I think we've lost this touch. It's really popular with my mum's generation. They always come to the weddings with a beautiful little accessory. We need to bring these back and.

Anjana Kalouf (36:00)

It really elevates the look as well and changes it, you know, because they do cut. You're right. Because I think about my mum and my mother in law and how they arrive at these things and they've always got something over their shoulders. It's functional because it keeps them warm. But they also just looks so elegant.

Rhiannon Joyce (36:11)

So we only have one more question to get through. I'm worried about the expense sustainability of wearing a dress once. How common is it to get your wedding dress shortened or turn it into something you'll actually use again? Or do I just sell the dress? What do you guys think?

Anjana Kalouf (36:26)

We spoke about this being one of my regrets. I not really A regret. But I just think I did have every intention. You'll see photos of my dress, and it could have been cut into a mini dress and died. And I thought, oh, I'll do that, and I'll wear it to one of our kids christenings. A. I didn't really consider how emotionally tired I would be to the dress and the fact that I wouldn't probably want to cut the dress that held so many precious memories. I wouldn't want to cut it. And, you know, maybe that's why it's still sitting in a box in my home.

Jo Fleming (36:53)

I don't know how common it is to shorten a dress, but I think if the style of your dress allows for that and it would still look like a sleigh if you cut it, I think go for it and then wear it to dinner on your first anniversary or something like that. I think that's a great idea.

Rhiannon Joyce (37:05)

I love that idea. I do think it's less common than reselling your dress. I also think there's been a bit of a resurgence in the resale market. The Bridal Journey has a marketplace where I've seen girls who I know pop their dress up on that within weeks of their wedding, and I'm all for it. I also. I'm not a very sentimental person, so I would toy with the idea of selling my wedding dress. I also think there's a nice little twist you could apply where that dress is getting another life and you get to share that love with other couples. And I just said I wasn't sentimental, but that was deeply.

Jo Fleming (37:37)

You go, I think I am too sentimental to sell mine personally. I think I will have to hold onto it. I can't explain why, but I just. I don't think I can have someone else have it.

Rhiannon Joyce (37:46)

But you did just say that you had these beautiful shared moments with your mom where you would try her wedding dress on. And, you know, although you were critiquing the style, that's the. A nice experience for you to have. So maybe it's a bit more about being able to have that shared experience with your child someday.

Jo Fleming (38:03)

Yeah, maybe.

Rhiannon Joyce (38:04)

Maybe.

Jo Fleming (38:04)

We'll see.

Rhiannon Joyce (38:04)

We'll report back. When it comes to reselling, I do love the sustainability piece to this. I think there's definitely. You know, Angie just said yours is collecting dust in your box. If you can give it another life, I think it's a great option. It also is more affordable. That's the other thing. You know, a lot of the dresses I'm seeing on these resale Sites are third of the price of what you would pay if you were to buy them in a store. And that is also a great option for brides who are looking be a bit more cost effective with weddings.

Jo Fleming (38:31)

So I did look at resale before I went shopping as well. I just wanted to see what was out there. Like, I didn't find anything that was quite like exactly what I wanted, but there are so many options.

Rhiannon Joyce (38:40)

I said this in the first episode, but I almost bought a secondhand dress. It was a beautiful vintage Vivienne Westwood style. It was just too small and it didn't work. And also they do go quite quickly. Vivienne Westwood is obviously a very popular style at the moment. So there are a lot of great options out there, especially if you're looking at designers that are really trending right now, like Vivian Westwood. Definitely look at the resale sites.

Anjana Kalouf (39:03)

I adore that tip. There just weren't that many. When I was getting married, I remember trying to troll around and see if there was anything, but there just there wasn't a lot out there. And this is so cool. I think it'd be so worth having a look.

Rhiannon Joyce (39:13)

Absolutely.

Jo Fleming (39:14)

Well, that is all of our questions for today. Thank you so much, Ange, for joining us as our special guest on our second episode episode of the wedding series by Stylish. We will be back next week to talk about creating the rules for surrounding your big day to create a smooth and enjoyable experience for both you and your guests.

Rhiannon Joyce (39:30)

Thank you so much, guys.

Anjana Kalouf (39:31)

Thanks for having me.

Rhiannon Joyce (39:32)

Bye bye. This podcast was recorded on Wurundjeri land.

Jo Fleming (39:46)

Always was, always will be, aboriginal land.

Rhiannon Joyce (39:49)

Hello, guys. Ray here, head of business development at Shameless Media. And you just listened to a full episode of Stylish, which we think and hope means you enjoyed what you heard. Since you're a fan, I wanted to tell you about our Stylish newsletter. Reading the Stylish newsletter, honestly feels like flicking through your favorite magazine, except it's all free and delivered straight to your inbox. Are you looking for the best bowl of pasta in Melbourne? Or maybe you need a new door shoe. Guys, if you know, you know, maybe you just like an exclusive peek in the Shameless Media offices shopping cart parts. I mean, you're only human. Or some styling and beauty tips from the professionals. Well, we've got all of that and more in the Stylish newsletter. If you scroll to the show notes in this episode, you'll find a link to subscribe to the Stylish newsletter. We'll be dropping it in your inbox very, very soon.