Sunday Papers Ep. 79 — Easter Weekend Replay (April 5, 2026)
Hosts: Greg Fitzsimmons and Mike Gibbons
Theme: A comic and candid review of the week’s news—politics, pop culture, local oddities, and irreverent reader mail—served up with unfiltered banter and plenty of comic riffs.
Episode Overview
This week's "Sunday Papers" (a rerun from Ep. 79) is a wild, funny, and sometimes heartfelt ride through topical news, pop culture, and the hosts' personal lives. Greg and Mike break down political controversies, share stories of loss and friendship, riff on pop culture (from "Ted Lasso" to "Dave"), compare Texas to Florida, and dissect the inherent drama—and absurdity—of local apps and classic comics. The episode moves from biting political critiques to eulogizing pets, and ends with their signature breakdown of the comics page, laced with their uniquely crass, insightful humor.
Main Segments & Key Discussion Points
1. Technical Difficulties Become Comedy (01:43–02:11)
- The episode opens with the hosts fiddling with microphones, jokingly embracing podcast "magic" by inviting listeners into their pre-show chaos.
- Quote [Greg, 01:54]: "Why don't we do a podcast and keep... Let's keep this in. This is that magic at the top everyone's raving about."
2. Texas’ Abortion Vigilante Law Rant (02:11–06:08)
- Heatedly discuss Texas’ new abortion law, which incentivizes ordinary citizens to sue anyone assisting with restricted abortions—comparing it to legalized vigilante justice.
- Quote [Greg, 03:02]: "It's a free swing to sue anyone... so that has created the desired effect that everyone will be terrified, like, to do anything."
- Critique economic disparities and the real-world consequences, like Planned Parenthoods being buried under lawsuits.
- Quote [Mike, 03:38]: “You can turn in an Uber driver for driving them. You can make a shitload of money.”
Timestamps
- Texas Law Breakdown: 02:23–06:08
- Planned Parenthood Services/Rosacea Jokes: 05:19–06:08
3. Mourning a Dog: Grief, Golf, and Male Friendship (07:12–10:29)
- Mike and Greg pay tribute to their friend Dennis and his beloved, recently deceased golden retriever, Leland. The suddenness of the loss leads to reflections on friendship, grief, and the power of distraction.
- Quote [Greg, 09:51]: "He was going home to that apartment with just this shattering new reality."
- Quote [Mike, 10:10]: "He won so much money off of me. All of my earnings from golf for the year I lost to Dennis yesterday."
- Friends rallied to keep Dennis occupied—Dennis channels grief into an amazing game of golf.
4. Local News: Nextdoor App Absurdity (10:57, 56:28–66:28)
- Greg introduces a new "Local News" segment based on unfiltered posts from the Nextdoor app, including a blow-by-blow of a neighborhood marital scandal and the often unhelpful public advice that follows.
- Quote [Greg, 59:46]: "Isn't he gonna see this? That was enough for me."
- Quote [Mike, 64:48]: "Bradley, you completely blame the victim... It's his fault for doing it, period."
- The hosts mock the unfiltered, sometimes shocking, sometimes clueless community responses, and how personal crises become public entertainment.
Timestamps
- Nextdoor Meltdown: 56:33–66:28
5. Listener Corrections & Odd College Mascots (13:15–18:44)
- Fans correct last week’s errors, including a NSFW mascot from the Rhode Island School of Design ("Scrotie"), which the hosts skeptically fact check and joke about.
- Quote [Mike, 13:35]: "I have a correction. The most offensive and amazing mascot is from Rhode Island School of Design... Scrotie."
- [17:48] Decision: "RISD is officially the coolest school in the country…"
- Brief sidetrack into heroic stories, e.g., a wife saving her husband’s life in Hawaii.
6. The Politics of Boycotts and Comedy in Texas (15:00–16:25)
- Debate over artists, including comedians like the hosts and Rogan, boycotting Texas in protest of restrictive abortion laws.
- Quote [Mike, 16:03]: "Artists are not supposed to go to Texas to perform. That's the first boycott..."
7. Comics Corrections, Sex Advice, and Generational Trauma (19:01–28:11)
- A string of listener corrections sparks a discussion on female sex drive, period myths, the subtext of classic comics like "Hagar the Horrible", and family legacies—especially their grandfathers’ exploits in the IRA.
- Quote [Mike, 20:38]: "Any sex that happens any other time is not because she's horny. It's because she has some sort of mental transaction occurring in her head..."
- Family stories: car rage, changing names to avoid schoolyard bullying, and immigrant roots.
Pop Culture Banter & Reviews
“Dave” Season 2 Breakdown (66:45–72:05)
- Mike finally watched “Dave” Season 2, echoing Greg’s praise that Andrew Santino is the comedic breakout and highlighting Episode 9 as "absolute art."
- Quote [Mike, 67:21]: “He has great rhythm. He can transition from dramatic to comedic without ever losing what makes him unique…”
- Quote [Greg, 68:32]: "That's the one I'm predicting wins the Emmy award."
- Discuss “Ted Lasso” and critique the fleeting “sincerity movement” in TV (35:54–35:58).
TV & Streamin' Sidebar
- “Nine Perfect Strangers”: both hosts panned the structure ("so linear, so boring"), though Greg confesses he’ll probably continue watching for the camp value (74:20–76:59).
- Nostalgic rave for “The Sopranos,” especially Gandolfini’s vulnerability and acting style (72:05–73:58).
Viral & Absurd News Deep Dive
The $45K Porn Trove Lawsuit (36:00–44:28)
- Hilarious riff on a Michigan man who sued his parents for destroying his pornography collection, hiring a "porn valuation expert."
- Quote [Mike, 36:13]: “David Working, like, working one out, 43, sued his parents after they threw away what a judge called a trove of pornography and an array of sex toys.”
- The hosts improvise porn parody titles and debate the subjective value of physical porn in the digital era.
Rogan, Ivermectin & The Misunderstood Influence (44:49–52:20)
- Delve into Joe Rogan's COVID/ivermectin controversy, with both hosts drawing distinctions between curiosity and dangerous misinformation in the podcast world.
- Quote [Greg, 48:28]: "When I see him have doctors on... Joe loves more than anything his mind being blown. The scientist changing his mind."
- Greg credits Rogan’s 2020 Osterholm episode for early accurate pandemic predictions ([51:08–52:20]).
Mask Mandate Mayhem: Vigilante Society (53:38–56:25)
- Arizona dad storms school principal’s office over masking, brandishing zip ties—a flashpoint in the rise of vigilante culture fueled by recent laws.
- Quote [Mike, 53:38]: "We have become a vigilante society… Why have laws? Why, why should we live by laws?"
Florida Man vs. Texas Man Rivalry (77:07–83:38)
- Florida Man: Airplane banner reads “Jew I have a question”—a botched marriage proposal mistaken for hate speech.
- Texas Man: Two men found dead in crashed Tesla, both in the back seat, possibly testing autopilot while drunk, prompting speculation about sex, self-driving, and tragicomic hubris.
- Quote [Mike, 82:21]: "Chris can officially write headlines for the New York Post now. Auto Erotic asphyxiation..."
International Oddities (84:54–93:38)
- Bali: Starving, formerly tourist-fed monkeys now raid villages. Mike compares monkeys to homeless people, Greg is incredulous.
- Czech Republic: Wild boars organize a “prison break” for trapped piglets, demonstrating intelligence and empathy.
- Quote [Greg, 91:38]: "...a family of wild boars organized a cage breakout of two piglets, demonstrating high levels of intelligence and empathy."
Sports & Mental Health (94:56–104:29)
- Naomi Osaka’s Mental Health Break:
- The hosts discuss Osaka’s tearful withdrawal from tennis, mental health stigma, and the trap of chasing the #1 spot.
- Quote [Mike, 95:14]: "I feel like, for me, sore loser, like me recently, like, when I win, I don't feel happy. I feel more like a relief. And when I lose, I feel very sad. I don't think that's normal."
- NFL Bets Return: Plans for renewing their season-long Tampa Bay bet, with detailed discussion of point spreads and betting theory ([101:07–103:42]).
Science & Animal Stories (104:46–109:13)
- Pandemic Cat Stress: Cats reportedly suffering stress-induced illnesses due to their owners being home more often during COVID, unlike dogs, who thrive on extra companionship.
- Quote [Greg, 105:11]: "Is sitting on the back of a couch licking your own vagina a regimen?"
- Tripod the Cat & Family Feline Folklore: Greg shares stories of his family’s three-legged cat and an old-school Bronx approach to pet loss (mourning rituals, callous uncles, and grandmotherly delusion).
Letters to the Editor, Listener Feedback & Product Plugs (112:44–123:19)
- Favorite Radio Station: Shoutout and loving endorsement for KCSN 88.5FM—a listener-supported LA radio station renowned for its diverse music.
- Quote [Greg, 117:17]: "It is my favorite station. The day I found it, I immediately called and gave money... zero commercials, zero news. It's just music."
- Politics in Podcasting: They address feedback about mixing serious topics into their comedy, debating the role of political ranting vs. all-out funny.
- Quote [Mike, 119:47]: "It's something we battle with... it's ostensibly a comedy show, but Mike and I are also guys that have strong feelings about politics..."
Obituaries (123:16–126:49)
- Tributes to Ed Asner (most honored male in Emmy history), Willard Scott, and memorable TV careers.
The Funnies—Classic Comic Strip Recap (126:55–132:25)
- “Hagar the Horrible”: Another joke interpreted as rape; the hosts poke fun at the dark subtext of classic kids’ comics.
- Quote [Mike, 127:42]: "He's going to rape a rabbit."
- “Family Circus”: Again, a kid swallows a watermelon seed in a predictable, throwaway joke—Greg mercilessly mocks its banality (“that old chestnut”).
- “Blondie”: Dagwood is disappointed when Blondie, declaring the cook (herself) has the night off, takes them out for dinner; they riff on gender roles and sitcom tropes.
Notable Quotes
- [On Texas abortion bounty law, Greg, 03:02]: "It's a free swing to sue anyone... so that has created the desired effect..."
- [On losing a pet, Greg, 09:51]: "He was going home to that apartment with just this shattering new reality."
- [On the value of old porn, Mike, 38:09]: "They can be replaced with five fucking keystrokes."
- [On podcasts and influence, Greg, 48:28]: "I actually see a very, very curious mind at work who is really inviting, you know, critics to change his mind."
- [On "Dave" S2, Mike, 67:19]: "He just has such a great rhythm. He has great timing. He can transition from dramatic to comedic without ever losing what makes him unique."
- [On the Nextdoor drama, Greg, 59:56]: "Isn't he gonna see this? That was enough for me. I would have read this today if that was it..."
- [On politics in comedy, Mike, 119:47]: "It's something we battle with... it's ostensibly a comedy show, but Mike and I are also guys that have strong feelings about politics..."
Memorable Moments & Timestamps
- (02:11–06:08): Deep dive and comic rant on Texas’ abortion citizen lawsuit law
- (07:12–10:29): Eulogy for Dennis’ dog Leland, and male friendship via golf
- (36:00–44:28): Absurd lawsuit: $45,000 of destroyed porn and a porn “expert” witness
- (56:28–66:28): The Nextdoor app's unhinged neighborhood drama—real people oversharing, community advice gone wild
- (66:45–72:05): Detailed, passionate TV reviews for "Dave" Season 2 and “Ted Lasso”
- (94:56–104:29): Candid talk on Naomi Osaka, mental health, and the pitfalls of being #1
- (126:55–132:25): The comics page: from Hagar’s innuendo to Family Circus mockery and dagwood/Blondie gender role satire
Final Notes
- Episode ends with reminders to check tour dates (fitzdog.com), support the show’s sponsors, and an affectionate shoutout to their friend Dennis after his loss.
- Closing song: “Sunday Papers” (parody)
For listeners new and old, Ep. 79 encapsulates what makes “Sunday Papers” a cult favorite: audacious takes on serious topics, unpredictable digressions, and the joy of digging for laughs (or deeper truths) on every page of the metaphorical ‘news.’
