Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike – Episode 303 (March 1, 2026)
Greg Fitzsimmons & Mike Gibbons
Produced by Gotham Production Studios – The Gotham Network
Episode Overview
In this episode, Greg and Mike bring listeners another classic edition of "Sunday Papers," blending sharp-witted banter, personal stories, and biting commentary on current events. From ski trips with old friends to the realities of aging parents, from bizarre Florida stories to serious news about U.S.–Iran tensions, the duo delivers a whirlwind tour of the week's headlines, laced with their signature humor, pointed observations, and occasional audience participation.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Catching Up: Old Friends, Skiing, and Aging (01:39–06:40)
- Mike checks in from Wyoming after a ski trip with three high school/college friends, recounting old connections and college stories, including how he met Greg via mutual roommates.
- Discussion about the physical realities of skiing into their late 50s: “It’s actually pretty astounding that four guys your age that have skied together for 40 years are still all functioning at a level where you can fucking ski. I mean, that's pretty demanding.” (Greg, 04:18)
- Hilarious and relatable tales about wearing more and more protective gear each year (“putting on the foil, coach” per Mike, 04:04).
- Segue into nostalgia—Greg laments missing out on a post-college Turks and Caicos trip because of work, emphasizing the importance of seizing the moment.
2. Texas, Cheer Events, and Uncomfortable Situations (08:23–11:00)
- Greg shares observations from his Houston hotel, where a pre-teen cheerleading convention is taking place. He reflects on the uncomfortable hyper-sexualization and the potential dangers of judgmental Texan dads.
- Memorable Quote: “If I feel like I'm on Epstein’s island against my will—just like Bill Clinton.” (Greg, 09:44)
- Shares an anecdote about sending a photo of the scene to dark-humored friends, quickly realizing even they wanted no part of it.
3. Golf Course Drama & Local Characters (11:22–12:55)
- Updates on the infamous Penmar golf course starter: “She is a cunts. There we go off the algorithm, and there are yelling, screaming fights with her every week.” (Greg, 11:35)
- The ongoing saga to get her removed, with both hosts sharing past run-ins and the general community drama it stirs up.
4. Corrections, Listener Feedback, Spoilers, and Ethical Dilemmas (17:02–19:12)
- Greg addresses minor language corrections and a complaint from listener Barbara regarding spoilers in group sports chat threads.
- The ongoing thread about whether friends should switch seats at a DUI checkpoint—listeners weigh in with legal/ethical objections.
5. News Roundup – Front Page (21:42–29:16)
Major Segments:
- U.S.–Iran Military Action: Extensive discussion on recent U.S. and Israeli attacks on Iran. The hosts riff on cable news coverage’s cheerleading tone and parse the political divides between those who say “Iran” vs. “Eye-ran”.
- Quote: “They say there may be collateral damage from the peacekeeping missiles and obviously some friendly fire. It sounds like there’s a Fourth of July picnic happening.” (Greg, 24:03)
- Neanderthal Interbreeding Studies: The duo pivots to new genetic evidence suggesting Neanderthal-human interbreeding skewed male Neanderthal/female human, which prompts jokes about pit bulls and Irish-Italian marriages in Boston.
- Mike’s pit bull joke: “Am I the only one, when you see a mixed pit bull…think it’s a product of rape?” (25:15)
- ICE Raid at Columbia University: Critical take on federal agents lying to access a dorm room—Greg riffs on the lengths he went to get into women’s dorms ‘back in the day’, referencing Bosom Buddies (28:29).
- Clinton & the Epstein Files: The former president testifies to Congress amid Epstein investigations—full of Greg’s classic snarks.
- “He’s familiar with that phrase [‘against their will’]—like how he showed his cock to Paula Jones.” (Greg, 30:18)
- Joke: “Hillary Clinton says she only recalls meeting Epstein that one time when she murdered him.” (Internet, 31:36)
6. Ethical Questions Segment (31:58–37:44)
- Aging & Driving: Mike and Greg draw parallels to their own parents—how and when to take the car keys from an elderly parent, suggesting regular retesting after age 78.
- “You can’t imagine taking that away from somebody, their freedom, you know?” (Greg, 32:33)
- Family Business Dilemma: Advice for young people inheriting a business but clashing with family members—“Shut the fuck up, get the keys to that company.” (Greg, 36:19)
7. Entertainment & Media Landscape (37:46–43:38)
- Review of Hamnet: Greg found it a powerful tearjerker; Mike, less affected, felt it was overhyped and sidestepped the iconic playwriting aspects of Shakespeare’s story.
- Paramount/Skydance/Warner Bros. Merger: “It’s basically down to two companies now. And I cannot see how unions survive. I can’t even see how there’s a writer’s guild in ten years, maybe five.” (Dan, 42:14)
- Hollywood’s Future: Concerns about corporate consolidation eroding creativity, labor protections, and news independence.
8. Florida & Kentucky Man News (43:46–48:46)
- Florida Quicksand Rescue: Man depressed after a breakup survived several days trapped—“Valentine’s Day launches a lot of marriage proposals, and in Florida, a lot of manhunts.” (Greg, 45:07). Jokes about ‘70s and ‘80s fears of quicksand.
- Kentucky Man Sexes Dead Deer: Wild headline inspires shock, puns, and a discussion of legal distinctions between sex with dead vs. live animals (“It adds another layer to it, doesn’t it?” Greg, 47:53).
9. This Day in History (48:52–52:08)
- Banter-filled quiz about Yellowstone’s founding, Bieber’s birth year, Hoover Dam, Ron Howard’s birthday, and the Lindbergh baby kidnapping. Greg’s history knowledge is on point this week.
10. Obituary: Neil Sedaka (52:08–53:42)
- Tributes to the prolific songwriter behind “Breaking Up is Hard To Do,” “Laughter in the Rain,” and “Love Will Keep Us Together.”
- “He wrote some corny ass songs, but they were catchy… they’re baked into my psyche as a young kid.” (Greg, 52:36)
11. The Funnies & Comedy Caption Contest (53:48–61:07)
- Caption Contest: Listeners submit punchlines for a slot machine cartoon; the favorite is an in-podcast reference to Greg in Vegas.
- Classic Strips: Hagar, Lockhorns, and Blondie all get the riff treatment. Standout: “Even the lobsters were rapists back in the 1400s.” (Greg, 57:26)
- The Onion: Satirical cartoons take aim at Netanyahu and Trump’s “strongly worded check.”
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “You push 60 and it’s like putting on the foil, coach—the amount of pads and stuff…” (Mike, 04:04)
- “If I feel like I’m on Epstein’s island against my will—just like Bill Clinton.” (Greg, 09:44)
- “She is a cunts. There we go off the algorithm…” (Greg re: Penmar golf starter, 11:35)
- “Are you kidding me? ICE is looking for a child? Are they trying to get in the Epstein files?” (Dan, 28:48)
- “You never see a greyhound-pitbull mix because greyhounds are too fast. They got away.” (Dan, 25:38)
- “Take the family business. It’s already up and running… Waaah. Shut the fuck up. Get the keys.” (Greg, 36:19)
- “I cannot see how unions survive. I can't see how there's even a Writers Guild in 10 years, maybe five.” (Mike, 42:14)
- “Valentine’s Day launches a lot of marriage proposals, and in Florida, a lot of manhunts.” (Greg, 45:07)
- “Is it more illegal to have sex with a dead animal or a live animal?” (Greg, 47:48)
Timestamps for Important Segments
- 01:39–06:40: Skiing, friendship, and aging
- 08:23–11:00: Cheerleader convention in Texas; hotel awkwardness
- 11:22–12:55: Golf course starter drama
- 17:02–19:12: Listener feedback and ethical dilemma (DUI checkpoint)
- 21:42–29:16: Major headlines – Iran strike, Neanderthal research, ICE raid, Clinton testimony
- 31:58–37:44: Ethical questions: elderly drivers, family business management
- 37:46–43:38: Entertainment: “Hamnet” review, Paramount/Skydance merger, future of Hollywood
- 43:46–48:46: Florida man in quicksand, Kentucky deer story
- 48:52–52:08: This Day in History quiz
- 52:08–53:42: Obituary: remembering Neil Sedaka
- 53:48–61:07: The Funnies, caption contest, and comic riffing
Tone & Style
- Conversational, irreverent, and relentlessly self-deprecating.
- Heavy with asides, in-jokes, callbacks to earlier episodes, and engagement with the listener community.
- Willing to tackle dark, uncomfortable, or controversial news with unfiltered humor.
- Nostalgia, cultural references, and audience interaction woven throughout.
This episode is a masterclass in the “Sunday Papers” blend of news and nonsense—balancing intellect, social commentary, and schoolyard-level teasing. The result: laugh-out-loud moments, sharp insights, and a sense of camaraderie that listeners come back for each week.