Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike - Ep. 306 (3/22/26)

Podcast: Sunday Papers
Hosts: Greg Fitzsimmons & Mike Gibbons
Date: March 22, 2026
Produced by: Gotham Production Studios, The Gotham Network

Episode Overview

This episode offers the usual quick-witted, irreverent breakdown of the week’s news and pop culture, as Greg and Mike riff on St. Patrick’s Day adventures, Oscars fallout (and their “high-stakes” bets), music appreciation, bizarre tech mishaps, airline price rants, viral Florida headlines, and more. Listeners are treated to punchy banter, comedic asides, and their own signature blend of news satire and personal stories.

Breakdown of Key Segments & Discussions

1. Kickoff & Quick Banter

• [01:24] Greg and Mike open with their classic lo-fi defense: audience complaints about mic technique and show production—“We wrinkle paper. We don't use a sound effect for the pages. Come on, people. Lighten up.” (Greg, 01:33)
• Jokes about possible podcast spinoff titles built on mic etiquette ensue—“If you make it very emotional and talk about yourself, it could be ‘open mic.’” (Mike, 02:41)

2. St. Patrick’s Day Recap

• [02:53] Greg thanks everyone for coming to his 20th annual St. Patrick’s Day Improv show. Sarah Silverman, Caroline Rhea, Brad Williams, Doug Benson, and others killed. Caroline “fucking destroyed” (Mike, 02:58).
• Green room tales: sketch sketches and Dennis Gubbins’ drunken Irish waiter routine nearly led to an altercation with an audience member (Mike, 03:55).
• Mike didn’t march in NYC—too cold for his dad, ended with breakfast while a skyscraper fire broke out on 43rd (“What a day to have a fire. St. Patrick’s Day at the start of the parade.” – Mike, 06:29).
• Sweet nostalgia: Mike recalls marching with his IRA grandfather in the NYC parade—“My grandfather was in the IRA, and those dudes used to put suits on... it was the real deal.” (Mike, 07:28)
• [07:49] They dish on a giant family dinner at Keen’s (Chop House), with new Lincoln memorabilia. “They now bought at auction the American flag that was draped over Lincoln's casket. Wow. Yeah. 37 stars.” (Mike, 09:00)
• Mike insists, “You gotta bring [the Lincoln collector] to Keens now that the flag is…” (Greg, 09:57)

3. Oscars: Predications, Bets, and Boredom

• [10:13] Greg and Mike revisit their Oscar bets, and play a clip of their picks—lots of agreement, little drama. “Well, Mike, congratulations. You just won the $40 that you owed me. You just won. You know, we're back to even.” (Greg, 11:38)
• [11:54] They reference ongoing gambling feuds, notably about the Middle East war—“We had a bet about Middle east war. Okay, we'll get to that in the comments.” (Greg, 11:48)
• [12:25] Oscars telecast was “pretty boring.” Conan O’Brien as host still “makes me uncomfortable… It’s just all about him, and he’s nervous” (Greg, 11:54).
• The value of cutting bits on live awards shows and a tale of Jamie Foxx improvising the entire monologue at the iHeartRadio Awards, erasing months of scripted sketches to great effect (Mike, 13:01).

4. Comedy / Celebrity News

• [14:04] Kevin Hart to host a new roast: Mike wonders if there’s anything left to roast about Hart since he’s “been roasted so much.”
• Greg: “It is really, really, really hard to get someone [high profile] willing to put themselves in the crosshairs on a roast.” (Greg, 15:09)
• Mike: "Alrighty. The whole gist of the roast will be, who the fuck is this guy?" (15:16)

5. Music Corner

• [15:29] Mike recounts two Tedeschi Trucks shows at the Beacon and a hilarious New York bathroom line altercation. Drunk concertgoer: “You do you. Okay, you just do you and mind your own business.” (15:56)
• “They played the Stones' ‘Loving Cup.’ They just were… unbelievable.” (Mike, 17:17)
• Correction: Derek Trucks didn’t buy Jerry Garcia’s guitar. It was loaned for the show (Greg, 17:50).

6. March Madness Gambling Woes & Listener Songs

• [18:22] Mike laments losing bets on overs in March Madness: “First seven games were overs. It's destroying me.”
• Greg praises listener-made songs, especially Blake Levan, and clarifies that the music is NOT AI—apologizing for the confusion (19:13-19:49).

7. Corrections Corner

• [19:51] Greg and Mike address fan corrections:
  • Mike confused “egg donor” with “sperm donor” in a previous ethical question. Listeners pile on in comments.
  • [21:24] Chat Roulette wasn’t meant to be porn, but “that's why it was a success… It was the funniest thing ever.” (Greg, 21:47)
  • [23:34] Uncle Sam recruitment poster was for WWI, not WWII.
• [25:11] Deep dive into the specifics of their “attack on Iran bet”—Mike uses a Google AI readout to claim victory.
  • “The joint US Israeli strikes on Iran began at approximately 10:15pm Pacific Time on Friday, February 27, 2026.” (Mike, 25:11)

8. Voiceover in Film—A Spirited Mini-Debate

• [26:47] Greg complains that “voiceover is such a cheap cheat for a writer,” but Mike calls that out:
  • Mike: “Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Your favorite movies of all time have all had voiceover.” (27:02)
  • They agree: when used with care, it adds a layer (“like Goodfellas”), not just easy narrative crutch.

9. Front Page Headlines

A. Gettysburg Pride Flag Controversy

• [31:43] Doug Mastriano’s anti-Pride flag diatribe in Gettysburg is mocked:
  • “Gettysburg Address... was 272 words. This guy wrote 700.” (Mike, 32:45)
  • “The government can... It's not hallowed ground according to Lincoln.” (Mike, 33:47)

B. Dancing Robot Meltdown at Hot Pot Restaurant

• [34:07] Recap of a viral incident with a robot waiter gone wild—“Are they sure it wasn't just Andy Dick in a Star Wars costume?” (Greg, 34:49)

C. United Airlines Cuts, Prices Soar

• [35:17] Airline cost structures and new upcharges are skewered—“Now they’re going to charge for bathroom visits.” (Greg, 37:05)
• “My pins… $2 a PIN and now, with the tariffs… up to $4.50.” (Greg, 37:46)
• TSA hassles with bags of merch and tips for getting through security (Mike, 38:25).

D. Trump’s Pearl Harbor Joke with Japanese PM

• [39:28] Trump brings up Pearl Harbor in response to not warning Japan about Iran strikes:
  • “We went in very hard... Who knows better about surprise than Japan?” (Greg, 39:28)
  • Trump went on to make tone-deaf jokes, delighting his base (“‘Like when you're getting a happy ending from a Japanese lady and she pops a boner.’”—Greg, 40:54)

E. ICE, Custody, and Melania Paranoia

• [41:15] Story of an ex-girlfriend deported after Trump connections were leveraged. “No one is taking this story more seriously than the First Lady right now.” (Greg, 42:01)

10. Ethical Questions

• [42:41] Is it OK to tip more if you’re with a colleague? Mike: “Not an ethical situation.”
• [43:41] ATM gives you $300 instead of $100—would you report it? Mike: “That’s on them.”
• [44:14] Most provocative, submitted by their producer: Is it OK to be titillated by pictures of your girlfriend when she was under 18?
  • Mike splits hairs about age-appropriateness, Greg outlines a “grandfathered in” exception: “If you knew them before and you have previously pleasured, then you are grandfathered in.” (Greg, 45:38)
  • Mike notes, “It's a slippery slope...” and raises the AI-recreation “teenage girlfriend” angle.

11. Entertainment News

• [46:53] Hatchet Book Group cancels “Shy Girl” after author is accused of using AI to write. They imagine a horror story where AI stalks the author for the “plagiarism.”
  • “Here's the horror movie: She, this author, sells 1800 copies… AI now is gonna kill her.” (Mike, 47:50)

12. Florida & Philly Man Stories

A. Palm Beach Pete (The Epstein Doppelganger)

• [49:01] Viral tale of a man who looks like Jeffrey Epstein:
  • “If you're going to dress like a 50 to early 60-something douchebag, you're already getting close to Epstein, you know what I mean?” (Mike, 50:03)
  • He should become a paid Las Vegas impersonator, just like “Zach Galifianakis… pretending he was a Zach Galifianakis impersonator on the street.” (Greg, 51:15)

B. Philly Man Assaults Crossing Guard

• [53:27] Recap of a Philly man arrested after assaulting a school crossing guard.
  • “Outside of Philly, it is not normal [to beat up a crossing guard].” (Mike, 54:28)

13. Sports & March Madness Sweet 16—Sunday Papers Bracket

• [55:42] Announcing the “Sunday Papers Sweet 16”—a bracket of 16 weirdest/biggest annual stories (“power and progress” bracket).
  • Match-ups: Vatican (first American Pope) vs. Gaza Peace Plan (“Let's call it the Gaza peace plan since the Palestinians have needed a lot of gauze for their wounds.” — Greg, 57:50)
  • White House’s new 90,000 sq. ft. ballroom (Trump Era gilded excess) vs. Canadian housing czar/PM.
  • Chinese AI dominance vs. KFC fried chicken toothpaste.
  • Zuckerberg’s metaverse pivot vs. Global unplugging—bans on smartphones for kids.
• The hosts riff on the matchups, picking their favorites to advance.

14. This Day in History

• [64:11] History quiz—closings, inventions, cliffhangers, and composer birthdays.
  • Alcatraz closed in 1963 (“Recent!”—Greg, 65:19).
  • First tweet: 2006 (“Yeah, baby!” – Mike, 65:44).
  • Dallas’ “Who shot JR?” finale: 1980.
  • J.S. Bach born 1685.
  • The Masters golf tournament first held in 1934 (“That was for the next 50 years…” – Mike)

15. Obituaries

• [69:01] Chuck Norris dies. Greg and Mike tell classic Chuck Norris jokes—“He walked into the Virgin Islands. Now they’re just the Islands.” (Mike, 70:40)
• Trivia about his career, especially Cross-training with Bruce Lee.

16. Comics & Comedy Contest

• [71:56] Caption contest winner: “It’s not my fault the Trojans took away all of the feeling.” – Adam Copeland.
• Favorite comics riffed: Hagar the Horrible, Lockhorns, Blondie, The Onion’s “Southwest Airlines begins assigning chores.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We wrinkle paper. We don't use a sound effect for the pages. Come on, people. Lighten up.” (Greg, 01:33)
• “I begged him to wear…a leprechaun costume…and he wouldn't do it.” (Mike, 03:22)
• “You do you. Okay, you just do you and mind your own business…” (Bathroom line story, Mike, 15:56)
• “First seven [March Madness] games were overs. It's destroying me.” (Mike, 18:22)
• "I felt like I was in a museum of Lincoln memorabilia...they now bought...the flag that was draped over Lincoln's casket." (Mike, 09:00)
• "What a day to have a fire. St. Patrick's Day at the start of the parade." (Mike, 06:29)
• “It is really, really, really hard to get someone [famous] to sit in the crosshairs at a roast.” (Greg, 15:09)
• “Fucking a petri dish. Well, you literally are fucking a petri dish.” (Ethical corrections, Greg, 20:49)
• “If you knew them before and you have previously pleasured, then you are grandfathered in.” (Greg, 45:38)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Mic complaints & Lo-fi show defense: [01:20–02:53]
• St. Patrick’s Day show stories: [02:53–05:07]
• NYC Parade/fire & Lincoln artifacts: [05:07–10:02]
• Oscars bet results & recaps: [10:13–14:04]
• Kevin Hart roast announcement & celebrity takedowns: [14:04–15:16]
• Tedeschi Trucks Band NY concert story: [15:29–17:50]
• March Madness woes; Listener songs: [18:22–19:49]
• Corrections segment: [19:51–27:17]
• Gettysburg pride flag controversy: [31:41–34:02]
• Dancing robot gone rogue: [34:07–35:15]
• United Airlines rants, TSA pin tips: [36:48–38:53]
• Trump’s Pearl Harbor joke: [39:28–41:02]
• Melania/trump associate’s ex-girlfriend deportation drama: [41:15–42:08]
• Ethical questions (ATM/underage girlfriend pics): [42:41–46:29]
• AI horror book scandal: [46:53–48:48]
• Florida Man/Epstein lookalike: [49:01–52:03]
• Philly crossing guard assault: [53:27–55:25]
• Sweet 16 news bracket pick’em: [55:42–63:55]
• History quiz: [64:11–68:51]
• Obituary: Chuck Norris jokes: [69:01–70:54]
• Caption contest & comics: [71:56–76:41]

Overall Tone

Raw, unfiltered, and full of punchlines—as if you’re eavesdropping on two very funny, slightly cranky friends trading barbs, trivia, and therapy over stacked Sunday papers. Humor is the beating heart (sometimes lovable, sometimes abrasive), and topical news is the framework for riffs, digs, and hilarious meandering.

Final Notes

• Skip to [31:41] for news of the week, [55:42] for Sports Sweet 16 bracket, [64:11] for trivia/history, [71:56] for comics and contest.
• Listener contributions are both encouraged and roasted.
• Mike and Greg continue the tradition of high-velocity, low-formality podcasting—a dose of Sunday irreverence for news junkies who like their facts folded with sarcasm.
• Don’t miss the closing comics & contest, plus plugs for upcoming shows and for the podcast’s advertisers.

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