Sunday Papers w/ Greg and Mike – Ep. 308 (April 12, 2026)

Episode Overview

In this lively and wide-ranging episode of Sunday Papers, comedians Greg Fitzsimmons and Mike Gibbons riff on their recent birthday celebrations, dive into the week's wilder news stories, and unpack everything from space missions and political gossip to hot dog mysteries and comedy club drama. True to form, the Sunday Papers duo mixes heartfelt moments with rapid-fire jokes, offering their satirical, irreverent take on current events and the oddities of American life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Voice Loss, Joshua Tree & Letting Go (01:20–05:22)

• Greg recounts losing his voice after 10 weekends of stand-up, just before a big family trip to Joshua Tree.
  • “I basically lost my voice... the day before I was going to Joshua Tree with my sis… and we were all going out to the desert and I lose my voice.” (01:24)
• Describes feeling forced to sit back, listen, and realize that “the party runs fine without me.” (03:44)
• Mike ties this to the comedian’s compulsion to “orchestrate the room.” Both reflect on the discomfort and value in letting things be.

2. Desert Mushrooms & Stargazing (04:35–05:22)

• Family gathering includes outdoor activities, a “red moon,” and everyone except Greg (sick) taking mushrooms under the stars.
  • “My kids, my wife, my sister, her family. And we're just out there... there's this app on your phone where you can see the constellations in the sky.” (05:09)

3. Space Junk, Artemis Mission, & Human Limits (05:22–09:19)

• Mike laments modern light pollution and highlights the mounting problem of space debris: “It keeps colliding and shattering… now there's like 6,000 parts flying through space.” (05:22)
• Deep dive into coverage of NASA’s Artemis mission—its emotional moments among astronauts, family losses, and the sheer danger of a 25,000 mph reentry.
  • “It is wildly primitive. Like, I am imagining extraterrestrials looking at like, wow... they're still burning fossil fuels?” (09:22)

4. Birthday Banter: Nostalgia and Roasting (10:00–13:40)

• Mike’s birthday is the topic, including a text from Tom Brady (with a little help from a friend). (10:49–11:10)
• Discussion about aging, embracing birthdays, and wild celebrations—60s theme, blackjack, mushrooms, and some guests taking things (and each other) to new heights.
  • "Three people did cocaine at the party… That doesn't happen at 60th birthday parties very often." (15:01)
  • “A couple had sex in the bathroom in the back.” (15:21)
• Heartfelt toasts move Greg to tears, upending his planned roast: “I literally said maybe three sentences and then I had to choke back tears. And then... I just fucking walked away." (17:17)

5. Comedy Club Showdown: The Donnell Rawlings Incident (20:09–23:25)

• Greg describes high drama at the Laugh Factory: Donnell Rawlings runs long, a young comic tries to flick the light, and gets brutally called out.
  • “You don't fuck with Donnell… The N word was said 27 times… and the crowd, like, it wasn't funny. It was not meant to be funny.” (21:04)
  • Tension spills backstage, show runs late, Greg bounces.

6. Corrections & Tour Dates (24:07–26:05)

• Listener correction on a previous story: someone called ICE on their roofer after the job was done to avoid paying—a topic Greg and Mike label “the ultimate Karen move.” (25:12–25:19)
• Greg plugs upcoming stand-up dates, laments website woes, and openly requests tech help.

Main Stories & Satirical Headlines

1. Wyoming Restricts Transgender License Changes (31:30–33:17)

• Trans residents can no longer update gender markers without an amended birth certificate.
• Greg & Mike riff on Wyoming’s culture: “By the way, trans in Wyoming, the bar is set pretty low. It just means you tuck your jeans into your boots.” (32:40)
• Joke about Jackson Hole as the trans/gay hub.

2. California Norovirus Outbreak (36:29–37:42)

• Spiking cases of severe diarrhea. Greg jokes: “I fucking love diarrhea. I feel like I'm cleaning out my insides.” (37:27)
• Leads to a tangent on bodily functions vs. media hysteria (and a jab at the NY Post).

3. Melania Trump Ghislaine Maxwell Text Rumors (38:49–44:03)

• Old messages fuel speculation about Melania’s ties to Epstein; Melania bizarrely “pre-denies” allegations that aren’t out yet.
• Greg shares a wild story from a comedian about Trump, Melania, and “Fuck Island”: swapping dates and celebrity parties—highlighting the swirl of rumors around the Trump orbit.
  • "I heard that story seven, eight years ago, and I think it's finally going to pop up." (40:51)
• Explosive but increasingly un-shocking Trump stories—anchor baby jokes and speculation about Melania's legal status.

4. Gov. Kristi Noem's Husband: Secret Online Trans Identity? (44:07–47:40)

• Noem’s husband allegedly maintained a nine-year relationship with a dominatrix, expressing a desire to be a woman named “Crystal.”
  • “I felt he was very Hypocritical for standing ten toes on American family values while he was in my messages about wanting to be a trans bimbo.” —Dominatrix (45:00)
• Greg and Mike lampoon the layers of hypocrisy—public religious/moral posturing vs. private kinks.

Florida Man Headlines (54:15–56:55)

• Meth-laced hot dogs: Dogs in a Florida backyard poisoned with meth and Molly.
  • “As if dogs weren't affectionate enough, now you put them on Molly.” (54:24)
• Pickup truck with fake missiles: Florida man mounts “ordinance” on his Ford Maverick. Bomb squad called—turns out they’re models.
  • “If you come to a four way stop and he's on your right, I think you give him the right away.” (57:05)

Ethical Questions (48:10–48:41)

• Listener writes in: If a Chick-fil-A coupon is never collected, is it wrong to re-use it? Especially, the listener adds, since Chick-fil-A is anti-LGBTQ.
  • Mike: “Ethically, it's easy. It's wrong, obviously… but I understand you're using the same one. I guess I would do it, anything to support the gay hating chicken franchise, right?” (48:39)

Entertainment & Popular Culture (49:46–53:00)

• Noah Wyle, HBO's “The Pit,” and network self-censorship:
  • Topic on HBO’s nervousness portraying ICE raids and right-wing influence percolating in scripts since the Warner Bros/Paramount merger.

This Day in History (57:52–65:58)

• Mickey Mantle’s debut, Game of Thrones premiere, Titanic, Michael Jordan’s last game—Greg guesses impressively well.
• It’s Mike’s birthday: “You know, I don't share a lot of famous birthdays, I don't think.” (58:10)

Touching Farewell – Remembering Alex Duong (67:36–69:52)

• Greg pays tribute to friend and Comedy Store colleague Alex Duong, who died after a battle with cancer: “It's a fucking very sad day... I'll never see him there again.” (69:22)

Funniest Moments & Notable Quotes

• On losing one’s voice:
  “It forced me to just sit and listen, which I think this might be an exercise for you also… I have to orchestrate a good time… but they didn’t need me.” —Greg (03:10–03:44)

• On NASA's ‘primitive’ tech:
  “I am imagining extraterrestrials… wow, can you believe, like, they're still burning fossil fuels?” —Mike (09:22)

• On party debauchery:
  “A couple had sex in the bathroom in the back… And then people gave toasts, which was very, very touching.” —Greg (15:21, 15:56)

• Comedy club drama:
  "You don’t fuck with Donnell. He fucking reamed this kid from stage…the crowd…it wasn't funny. It was not meant to be funny." —Greg (21:04)

• On anti-trans politics in Wyoming:
  “Trans in Wyoming, the bar is set pretty low. It just means you tuck your jeans into your boots.” —Greg (32:40)

• Speculating about Trump, Melania, and Epstein:
  “He was there with Melania and Donald Trump had a girl with him, and Donald asked if they could exchange dates, and that date was Melania.” —Greg (40:32)

• Audience favorite joke (Caption Contest):
  "What percentage of cybertrucks are actually used to carry around tools? 100." —Dan Fuente (71:55)

Important Timestamps

• 01:20–05:22: Greg’s voice loss and lessons from Joshua Tree
• 05:22–09:19: Artemis mission, space junk, and NASA emotions
• 10:00–13:40: Birthday stories & raging party
• 15:01: “Three people did cocaine at the party… that doesn't happen at 60th birthday parties very often.”
• 20:09–23:25: Comedy club/Laugh Factory drama with Donnell Rawlings
• 31:30–33:17: Wyoming transgender policy satire
• 38:49–44:03: Melania, Epstein, and tabloid speculation
• 44:07–47:40: Kristi Noem’s husband’s dominatrix/transition drama
• 54:15–56:55: Florida Man madness: meth hot dogs & missile trucks
• 67:36–69:52: Tribute to Alex Duong, late Comedy Store comic

Tone & Style

As ever, the tone is cutting, quick, warm-blooded, and delightfully inappropriate—a blend of sincere reflections and relentless ribbing. Both Greg and Mike shine when blending personal anecdotes with social satire, moving seamlessly between emotion (birthdays, death of a friend) and outright farce (toilets, trans Wyomingites, birthday bathroom sex).

Summary

Sunday Papers continues its tradition of mixing wild news from the week with sharp, uncensored commentary and genuine comic chemistry. This episode includes special moments of vulnerability, showcases the messiness of real life, and lays bare the hypocrisy and hilarity found in American news and culture. Whether you tune in for the jokes, the satire, or the schadenfreude, this week’s episode captures it all—right down to the last crinkled, not-so-silent paper.