Sunday Papers with Greg and Mike 6/14/2026 | Greg Fitzsimmons

Summary

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Sunday Papers with Greg Fitzsimmons & Mike Gibbons

Episode Summary: June 14, 2026
Hosts: Greg Fitzsimmons & Mike Gibbons
Produced by Gotham Production Studios | Part of The Gotham Network

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Overview

This episode, Greg and Mike provide their signature comedic rundown of current events and personal anecdotes, blending nostalgic stories of early career struggles with pointed observations on pop culture, politics, sports, and science. Recorded while Mike is in New York (crashing at a friend's in Brooklyn), the energy is suitably bicoastal—part Big Apple heat, part Venice Beach breeze. Major themes include friendship and career luck, the fevered state of NYC during Knicks playoff time, Broadway reviews, cultural phenomena like "vagina maxing," political jabs at Trump, sports super-fandom, and a reliably irreverent take on news oddities.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Friendship, Career, & Serendipity

[02:28–06:58]

• Revisiting Old Stories: Mike tries to recall an infamous "two girls in the subway" story, highlighting the fuzziness that comes from a few drinks and many years of camaraderie.

• Supporting Each Other Early On: The hosts discuss the crucial role of friendships and mentorship during career beginnings in NYC and LA.

  • Mike: “Everything’s a lottery ticket… The person you meet there, a lottery ticket. The spec script you write—a lottery ticket.” (04:23)
  • Greg reflects on feeling homesick for the countryside vs. enjoying West Coast life.

• Nostalgic Anecdotes:

  • Greg recalls crashing on Mike's couch in NY in the early comedy days and a Julia Roberts sighting that had the whole apartment excited. (06:33–08:18)

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2. NYC Right Now: Knicks, Broadway, and Bar Scene

[08:18–14:56]

• New York City's Knicks Fandom:

  • Mike shares the city-wide energy around the Knicks playoffs, comparing the atmosphere to New York's previous sports triumphs.
  • “Every single person… I got less condolences from the world when my mom died than I did walking around the East Village after that game.” (16:26)

• Theater Reviews – 'Oh, Mary!':

  • Mike raves about Maya Rudolph’s comic performance, likening her physicality and "crazy eyes" to classic Shakespearean acting.
  • Reflection on seeing Jane Krakowski in the same play on the same night as another comic, illustrating the intimacy of the NYC theater/comedic world.

• Broadway Humor:

  • The hosts banter about the ease of getting laughs on Broadway (“Let’s keep in mind, a curse word gets a laugh on Broadway.” – Mike, 12:54) vs. true comedic edge (Book of Mormon, Jeff Ross shows).

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3. Sports Fandom Mania

[14:05–21:38]

• NYC in Playoff Mode:

  • The infectious excitement for the Knicks and the unique vibe in the city, even among non-die-hards.
  • The double-edged sword of big sporting events—public safety, celebrity distractions (Trump falling asleep in attendance, Taylor Swift’s front-row antics), and the changing demographic of MSG spectators.

• World Cup Crossover:

  • Mike notes the multicultural viewing experience in NYC—restaurants erupting for World Cup matches, specialized ethnic viewing guides, and the growing soccer culture.

• Political/Judicial Intersection:

  • Criticism of the city shut-down for Trump's security at Knicks games, the hypocrisy of "patriotism" in use of the flag, and tongue-in-cheek lamentations on the future of American democracy.

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4. Pop Culture & Science Oddities

[29:43–40:11]

• “Vagina Maxing” Trend:

  • Light-hearted, explicit exploration of social media-fueled trends toward hygiene, cosmetic procedures, and so-called “vaginal optimization.”
  • PSA reminder ("no one's supposed to clean the inside of it, just so you know." – Mike, 34:08).

• Reflecting Pool & Algae:

  • News about DC’s Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool being marred by algae leads to a satirical comparison with current politics and topicality around “residual” arguments (e.g., inflation, prior admin blame).

• Ethical Dilemmas Segment:

  • Mike and Greg debate whether one should disclose past infidelity to a revived relationship, mulling over modern relationship expectations ("You have to kind of be articulate…probably you can regret..." – Mike, 41:46).

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5. “America the Absurd”: Florida & Texas Man Stories

[42:47–49:18]

• Florida Man Kills Dad With ‘God’s Permission’:

  • Darkly comic recapping of a murder justified by religious delusion.
  • “If anything, I think that God should get in trouble for not letting him kill this guy faster.” – Greg, 44:28

• Texas Man Declared Dead by Social Security:

  • A bureaucratic nightmare after a living man receives a notice confirming his own death.
  • Mike has fun with the application process—“Had to write: ‘I’m still alive.’” (46:38)

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6. National & International Roundup

[49:18–54:35]

• Phil Mickelson Scandal at San Diego Golf Club:

  • Linking golf’s rules-obsession with responses to non-consensual behavior accusations. Juicy riffs on “driving the hips,” “two-stroke penalties,” and being “out of bounds.”
  • “Like most of his drives lately, he was out of bounds and grabbed a ball.” – Greg, 50:29

• Smallest Penis Challenge:

  • A North Carolina man claims the world's smallest penis, sparking a surprisingly detailed segment on “growers,” “showers,” and anatomical humility.
  • “He described several occasions where he was, ‘in a position where I could have sex and trying and not being successful.’” – Greg, 51:35

• Science & Literature Reference:

  • Greg recommends Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides during discussion of intersex/“hermaphrodite” themes.

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7. This Day in History & Quiz Games

[54:49–61:12]

• Historical Trivia:
  • The Yellowstone National Park origin, the Supreme Court’s (shockingly recent) ban on death penalty for minors, the Lindbergh baby kidnapping, Hoover Dam completion, and more.
  • Touches of incredulity and laughter at collective historical ignorance.

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8. Listener Engagement and Comedy Bits

[61:54–73:08]

• Letters to the Editor:

  • David from Halifax requests more Andy Rooney impressions – Mike delivers delightfully.

• Obituary – David Hockney:

  • Brief tribute to the LA-defining British artist and his influence (discussion of his swimming pool motifs).

• Comics Caption Contest:

  • Submission summaries and gentle roasting of reader efforts (“I like Comet this big. Maybe it’s better about the comet.” – Mike, 70:39).
  • Announcing a new couplet-style contest for next week.

• Classic Cartoons Riffing:

  • Dissections of Hagar the Horrible, Lockhorns, and Blondie, frequently devolving into double entendres and imagined (often graphic) scenarios repurposing cartoon tropes.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On New York Knicks Devotion:
  • “Every single person... I got less condolences from the world when my mom died than I did walking around the east vill after that game.” — Mike, 16:26
• On Broadway Comedy:
  • “Let’s keep in mind, a curse word gets a laugh on Broadway.” — Mike, 12:54
• On “Vagina Maxing” Trends:
  • “Why did God make the vagina so repulsive?... I think Jesus Christ had to make the vagina kind of repulsive to keep men from having sex all the time. It was just a speed bump.” — Greg, 32:16
  • “No one’s supposed to clean the inside of it, just so you know.” — Mike, 34:08
• On American Flags & Politics:
  • “If you can’t wear red, white, and blue, every Republican politician wears a blue suit, white shirt, and red tie with a flag pin on top of it.” — Greg, 27:39
• Texas Man Administrative Nightmare:
  • “Had to write on the document, I’m still alive.” — Mike, 46:38
• Phil Mickelson Scandal:
  • “Like most of his drives lately, he was out of bounds and grabbed a ball.” — Greg, 50:29
• Ethics Corner:
  • “You have to kind of be articulate. I think you can’t be defensive...” — Mike, 41:46

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [02:28–06:58] – Old stories, career reminiscence, Julia Roberts sighting
• [08:18–14:56] – Knicks, NYC energy, Oh Mary! review, Maya Rudolph
• [14:05–21:38] – Knicks playoff fever, Trump at the Garden, NYC politics, World Cup
• [29:43–40:11] – Vagina maxing, gender/sex riffs, reflecting pool algae news
• [42:47–49:18] – Florida man patricide, Texas man declared dead
• [49:18–54:35] – Phil Mickelson scandal, world’s smallest penis story
• [54:49–61:12] – This Day in History quiz, trivia rounds
• [61:54–66:17] – Letters to the Editor, David Hockney obituary
• [66:19–73:08] – Comics Caption Contest, classic comics riffing
• [73:09–End] – Closing banter, sponsor shoutouts, teasers for next week

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a showcase of Greg and Mike’s off-the-cuff chemistry—mixing topical news, raunch, nostalgia, and insider comedy industry knowledge in equal measure. The sports stories and New York color blend seamlessly into wild pop-culture asides (“vagina maxing,” smallest penis contests, and more), with a healthy dose of political dig (particularly at Trump and the American spectacle). The show closes in its usual style: with raucous caption contest entries, cartoon musings, and hints for the next episode’s homework (“watch the Jeff Buckley doc!”).

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For more info, listen and subscribe to Sunday Papers and follow the hosts for more updates.

Transcript

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

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[Mike]

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[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Hey, Meta, tell me what kind of dessert this is. That's a stroopwafel, a Dutch waffle with spiced syrup in the middle. Is it sweet? Yes. Perfect for a snack or dessert.

[Mike]

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[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Read all about it.

[Mike]

Read all about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Sunday papers. Red rubber band right across the center of it. Ink still emitting a little bit of vapor. That's why we love the Sunday paper. You get a little bit high off the fumes.

[Mike]

What is it? A mimeograph from back in school.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Do you think that young people see Sunday papers and they go, what? What's a Sunday paper?

[Mike]

Pretty close to it at this point, I think.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mike]

Although I'm in New York, man. It is. And where are you? Oh, you're back home.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Venice Beach, California, baby. It's beautiful here.

[Mike]

All right, so wait, let's just jump. So I'm in New York. It's obvious. I literally came here for the Knicks. It just works out beautifully that my dad and.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And your daughter.

[Mike]

Well, and my daughter lives here. That just works out nicely. And so today Weinstein goes, oh, yeah, like, because we have the podcast. He's like, and I'm at his house right now and in Brooklyn. And he goes, oh, yeah, maybe you could tell the two girls the subway story. I'm like, what's that? And he goes, the story. Like, I acted out in the bar with you and Fitzsimmons. I'm like, about what? And he's like, the two girls getting. And I'm like, pretty hazy then. I think it was pretty hazy. So I'm going to have to ask Greg about it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The two girls in the subway story.

[Mike]

Oh, I love it. I love if you're hazy. Maybe it was forgettable. But you at the beginning.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He was, he was talking about walking on the subway and he walked past these two girls and they look pretty similar and he said, oh, they're sisters. And I wonder. I think he said one of them was better looking than the other one maybe. And I, he wondered if the other one was. Had a hard time growing up with a hot older sister. And then he turned around and they were making out and he was like, wait a minute.

[Mike]

Apparently it's very easy growing up with a great looking sister.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think that's roughly it. That's not exactly right, but it was roughly that.

[Mike]

But yeah, I was a few in and I was just high on.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh yeah, you were a few in.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You started crying at one point. You're very funny. Whenever you get drunk you cry a little bit.

[Mike]

Well, I got choked up because you two, we were talking about, I don't know how we got there but like kind of the beginnings and how tough it is. Maybe we're talking about our kids in the beginnings of their careers.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And kind of what you and what I tell my students at USC about just is that when I talked about the lottery. Oh yes. It was about everything's a lottery ticket. Whether when you go out at night to an improv like or whatever, a show, the person you meet there, a lottery ticket, the spec script you write a lottery ticket and you have to get lucky. So you need as many.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, you're talking about like when you're in your 20s and you're hungry and you know what you want to do and you're in New York City and there's just different groups of people in circles and you're being exposed to so many like opportunities.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You got to see them as opportunities and not just as I want to go home and watch Sex in the City.

[Mike]

Right. We'll never do that. But it's, it's really anywhere LA or whatever. If you're invited to ucb, you don't know who you're going to meet, blah, blah, blah. But I, then I, it occurred to me that un Weinstein are, were two of my winning lottery tickets. Like you just paving the way for me in my early, early Days at HBO where you would call Ray Romano, Dave Attell, Louis CK you'd call all of them and be like, hey, Mike's one of us. Like, don't, don't do the awkward dance with an on air promos guy at HBO who's gonna ruin your jokes by editing it, like, in a shitty way. And that saved. I mean, I came back with the best results of anyone at HBO because of you. And, and then Weinstein got me the gig, you know, with our friend Diana got me the gig at hbo. So anyway, yeah, I got choked up. I agree.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Both. Well, yeah, but I mean, I think it's also just, just so both sides of the story. Like, I knew how talented you were and I felt like I was doing a favor for all of those guys by saying, hey, you're gonna get something really good with this guy. So, you know.

[Mike]

Yeah, well, that's when it works out. I, I say the same thing when people, like, maybe thank me. I'm like, I would, you know, I go, I hate to sound like this guy. I never would have recommended you if I didn't think you were talented. You know, like, it doesn't make me seem as magnanimous that, like, I'll help anybody. It's kind of not true. Like, I really, you know. You know, when you have someone.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So anyway, and don't forget that when, when I was struggling, when I was coming up, I. For like three years when I lived in Boston, I would drive down to New York almost every week. I'd come in on a Sunday and I would sleep on your couch. You and Brickner and Jerry. And it was a fucking small apartment and I had a set of keys and you guys let me stay there all the time.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And. And I, I remember one time. Do you remember this? Jerry came running back and he's like. Or maybe Dan, he was like, julia Roberts is at the bagel shop. You guys had a bagel shop that was pretty famous at the corner of. Was it Second Avenue and.

[Mike]

No, we were on Lex by 87th, I think.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And he's like, julie Roberts is at the. And so we're sitting there and it was a ground floor apartment, and then all of a sudden she came walking by with a dog and picked up dog shit in front of us on the street.

[Mike]

All right? This is how I remember it. Which is crazy. I think I called from the bagel shop.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's what it was. Okay.

[Mike]

Like, I was going to work all three of. Well, you weren't unemployed, but you worked at Night, my two roommates were totally unemployed. And so I called and go. Julia Roberts is walking her dog. She just left the bagel shop. Wallace. So you guys, from what I heard, you ran to the windows like 8 year olds and pulled up the blinds, and she was right out front of the apartment where the dog decided to take a shit. And so she was standing outside as your three faces on our ground floor apartment. We're right there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Our first celebrity sighting in New York City.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Speaking of celebrities, have you seen the Jeff Buckley documentary?

[Mike]

Oh, my God.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Homework assignment, three weeks not.

[Mike]

Wait, we talked about it, and I've been all over his neighborhood because that's where Sophie lives and that's where I stayed the first two nights on the Lower east side. East Village, I should say.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So I'm gonna see it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right. See it.

[Mike]

We've had a lot to watch. We've had a lot to watch.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So wait a minute. Sophie's in town. Chris is out of town. Do you have anybody else to hang out with in New York besides your daughter?

[Mike]

Yeah, there's a. There's a bunch of people. And then Pete's, I guess in Westchester at his sisters right now.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, he doesn't have. He doesn't have that apartment in the city anymore.

[Mike]

But, you know, it was unbelievable. Is. It's. It's next. Nick's fever. Nick's fever. Nick's fever. And then a very cool other perspective is I went and saw oh, Mary the matinee yesterday. We'll talk.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, you did?

[Mike]

With Maya Rudolph. It's. I mean, it's. I mean, Maya Rudolph. It's. I was dying laughing like it's a

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

laugh out loud play. And that's rare. I mean, that's not often that I see that.

[Mike]

Here's what it is. It's everything I hoped for. She. So the. The general story of O. Mary is. It's. It's. Lincoln's crazy, and I'm using my words very carefully. His crazy wife and alcoholic wife Mary. And it's about her. And she wants to be an actress again. And so not only. And this is my hopes, does Maya play it crazy, if I may say. Maya went full R. And. And I'll leave it so I won't mess up the algorithm. Full R, like, to such an hysterical extent. It was. It was. It was the best. Like she. So you've seen it, right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And Lincoln is portrayed as. Was he still black? He's gay. Yes, he's black and gay. Yeah.

[Mike]

Which is half right from what I'VE heard. And so. But when she's doing the audition, when she's. When she's. Sorry. When she's learning, taking acting lessons, and she's reading Shakespeare, when I say, you couldn't decipher a word because that's how far into crazy she leaned. Like it was. Like it was. It was. I mean, I was doubled over. She's. I mean, she just. Her. And her eyes. That's what you mean. Like, you know, when you. We have these Shakespearean actors, whether it's with that. That gravity, no matter how it's achieved with the booming voice or the. Just the stature or the movement or the face. Her eyes. I had the shittiest seat way up top. Maya Rudolph's crazy eyes were the. Were the attraction in the theater.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. By the way, how about that theater? It's fucking beautiful.

[Mike]

I know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And the Lyceum Theater, when I saw it, it was Jane Krakowski. Her physical comedy was so over the top. And the crazy thing is, me, you, and Weinstein are sitting in a bar down on Spring street, and we start talking about it and we're. And we both were saying. I said, I saw it and I loved it. And he goes, I saw it. I wasn't impressed. I go, yeah, but when I saw it, it was Jane Krakowski. And he's like, no, when I saw it, it was Jane Krakowski. And I said, wait a minute. You texted me that night. We were at the same show. And he only knew I was at the show because I posted a picture of me and Owen in the audience with the playbill. And I guess he saw my social media. Who the fuck is looking at their social media during a play? But he noticed my social media and he texted me. But I think it was just after. It was just after the play, so we didn't see each other.

[Mike]

Well, you can't claim it was an off night when he saw it, I

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

guess, but isn't that weird? Of all the nights that we would be there, we're sitting in a fucking bar in soho talking about the play, and we were both there the same night.

[Mike]

Yeah. And to tell you the truth, I was a little worried because it was. It was good. He lowered the bar for me a little, you know? Cause it was a. A high bar. But it's a lot of people, if I may say, whose. Whose comedy, I don't respect that much, who are like, oh, my God, I left and my ribs hurt and, you know, like, all that stuff. But it's like, yeah, but let's keep in mind, a curse word gets a laugh on Broadway.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Right, right, right.

[Mike]

I mean, this is an easy crowd. And if your humor is too funny, like Book of Mormon, at times where it's edgy, people walk out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Which I. They walked out when I saw Book of Mormon.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, a lot of people walked out on Jeff Ross's show Take a Banana for the Road because it was too edgy.

[Mike]

It was too edgy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Now, I'm kidding. It was great. Did you see it?

[Mike]

Yeah, I did. I went backstage, said hello.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The whole thing is really good. I didn't see it in the theater, but I saw it on Netflix.

[Mike]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the theater was great. He walks around, as you saw. He walks around and all that stuff. So anyway, the bar was lowered, which was great, but I was a little worried. I saw a big gimmicky thing that everybody howled at. I saw that coming, like, three minutes before it came. It was the identity of the acting teacher. So anyway, so I was, like, worried. I'm like, oh, no. Like, is this, like, Broadway funny, or is this funny funny? But it soon didn't matter because Maya is so funny and so pushed it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right. Speaking of raising the bar high, I was in New York for game.

[Mike]

Three.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was in New York for game three of the Knicks. And the anticipation.

[Mike]

Oh, sorry. When you watched it with me.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Game three.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Game three. So you know, Knicks fan. Not like you. You're a way bigger Knicks fan than I was.

[Mike]

That's. That's hysterical, by the way. I used to be. I am. I took the bandwagon all the way from LA to LaGuardia.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Got off, literally. Bought my Nick shirt in LaGuardia. I'm just gonna be full disclosure here. And a friend got me a hat in la. I still have my banner, which is amazing that I did buy when I was 6 years old in 74.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And which says world champs. I still have that, though. All right, go ahead.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So it was electric. It really was. I mean, you've heard the descriptions. Everybody's probably sick of it, but I have never felt New York City that alive. It was un. And I was around when the Rangers finally won the Stanley Cup. I was around when the Mets won the World Series. And this was beyond anything I've seen. It's just everyone's got Nick stuff on. You go into deli, you buy a cup of coffee, and you see the game. Who's going to win? How much they going to win by? You know, and it's just like. So we go to this bar. And we kind of nailed it. We picked a place next door to your daughter's place. And we got there just literally 10 minutes before the crowds piled in. We got a booth with a great view of TV set. The volume was on. Volume could have been a little lower, but. But it was good that it was on that loud and it was just seeing the fucking crowd. And what's so funny is it didn't occur to me that they were gonna lose the game until they lost the game. I don't think anybody in New York considered the possibility that they were losing game three. And when they did, I. I took the subway home. You could hear a fucking pin drop. It was just a deflation.

[Mike]

So, yeah, I walked. Did I walk around that night after? Yeah. And yeah, I walked around a bunch. And I had, you know, my dumb nicks stuff on, like. But every single person did. And just everyone I passed. I got less condolences from the world when my mom died than I did walking around the east vill after that game. And just everyone. Eye contact. And literally some people would. A lot of people would like scream from across the street. Five in five. Five. Like the whole thing changed to five. But like, I'm not even kidding you. There were times walking on the street like a guy and his girlfriend, and then he'd see me and without not being audible, would literally just go, five, five. Like five. Like it was kind of a wave, but the wave was five fingers and like just. And then a nod, like five.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, this was the game that Trump went to. And during the day I walked past Madison Square Garden just to check it out. And I literally got in there. I think I was there at 3:30. And at 4:00, they closed down traffic from 29th street up to 35th street and everything from Madison Avenue west and literally blocked out the center of the city for fucking seven hours. Meaning all the bars that depend on Knicks games to make their nut had nobody in them. There was nobody allowed on those streets. And people had to get there two hours early and you couldn't bring a bag and all this bullshit. And then this motherfucker falls asleep and then, with a nail biter of an ending, leaves 15 minutes before the end of the game. Are you shitting me?

[Mike]

I know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And we were going to go to a watch party. We were planning on going to the Garden and being part of that big watch party.

[Mike]

I know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Which by the way, I'm glad we didn't go to the other one because they're getting violent it's really fucking nuts.

[Mike]

I hate, I hate it. I, I, I. My whole thing was, let's not go Philly on this. Let's not be Philly. But you know, a lot of the Knicks fans, and I guess Philly could say the same thing, but a lot of them are like, these are the kids picking on like a Spurs jersey. But it's all about filming it. It's like 30 kids. It's, it's really just trying to get online because they know the news will cover it also. But they're posting it themselves, so whatever. Anyway, so here's a great perspective also. I go, and my dumb little thing was I went from OG to oh, Mary. And then I see the mountain. So now I'm walking all over New York. Very hot to be walking around. But anyway, I'm walking around and then I pass. This is yesterday. I pass a. I don't know, 15 restaurants, but the Mexican restaurants watching Mexico playing in the World cup, losing their shit.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

And it was like, it's, it's, and now the World cup here. Like, of course the Knicks. Everyone's sick. Seeing all the hype now the World cup and, and there's guides being printed of where do you go see the Czech Republic play, where's Germany, where is in this, this South American bar, you know, and so there's like a map like Canada's playing in 18 minutes. And I got a list of the. There's a Canada bar called like, I think it's called like Canucks or whatever. And it's in. I walked by it yesterday.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wow. Hilarious.

[Mike]

It's a big hockey bar.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Guess where Owen was for the Mexico game?

[Mike]

I do know in Mexico.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He said it was in. They were sitting on a bar on the beach and he's like, it was just insane how people. But USA plays today. I just put some money on it.

[Mike]

9pm yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

East Coast, 9pm they are the favorites. And yeah, I, you know, we'll see if it catches on. Because there was not a lot of pre hype for the World Cup. I think that a lot of people were kind of like put off by the ticket prices, the transportation, the housing that so many people are not coming to the US because of it. Because, you know, they have threatened, you know, a deportation of people that come. I don't know if you call it deportation, but like they'll incarcerate people that are here illegally. As fans of the, of the sport. So the whole thing had kind of had a kind of a pall over it. Cast a. Paul is that the phrase

[Mike]

we'll find out in the Fitz facts corrections.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So, but now it seems to be getting a little bit of traction. And my housekeeper was here yesterday outta. And we. She has been with us for 25 years. And so I put on the Mexico game, and I put it on Telemundo so she could hear it in Spanish. And I went out to do a couple errands, and I came home. Vacuum cleaner is leaning against the front door, and she's sitting on the couch watching, crying, because.

[Mike]

And that's when you realize she's from Guatemala.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

She is from Guatemala.

[Mike]

No, she's not. Oh, my God, you're the worst.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, if it was soccer, I wouldn't have fired her for sitting down. If it was Mexico, it was Guatemala. I wouldn't have fired her for sitting down.

[Mike]

Listen, if they start losing, you got to make the money and jewelry a little easier to steal for her.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, let's get to it. The logo this week is from Benjamin Glazer. I've actually had this logo. I was looking through the folder of old logos.

[Mike]

This looks familiar.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know if we ever put this up or not, but I really like it. Yeah, I almost feel like getting a poster of it. The song is from Dan and Nick, who is a father son team. One lives in London, the other one is in, I believe, Atlanta. And they have done a few of these songs.

[Mike]

That's a wild one.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

When. When Dan visits Nick in Atlanta, they sit down and they make a song. Corrections. Joe Blow says Greg describes stars as, quote, bigger and closer in Vermont. Astronomers would like a word with you.

[Mike]

Okay, that's a perfect way to phrase it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's like saying Julia Roberts is not a bigger star than Anthony Jeselnik. Okay, well, is she bigger physically than Nancy Jeselik? No, but she's a bigger star. So when you're in the. In a. In a farm, literally, the closest city to them is probably 30 miles away, 40 miles away. The stars shine brighter because there's less refraction and there's less reflection. And so the stars in my mind are bigger.

[Mike]

I think what you're trying to say is there's less urban glow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You could say that.

[Mike]

I think you're dinged on refraction. But anyway, yeah, maybe there's some refraction with pollution. So I don't want to rule you out, but I would.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I will say this. It was. It. It was pretty incredible. And I am really, as much as. The weather's beautiful in Venice, and I just bought a nice used bike. I got a great deal on a used bike and I love it and I wanted a big bike ride, but I gotta tell you, man, I'm missing the country already. I'm really feeling like I need to be spending more time out of the city in the summer, somewhere rural.

[Mike]

I really need to be eating mushrooms in the woods more. Yes, is what you're saying.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

We also got from 5 after 4am Coriali. Greg, your buddy's name is Pete Coriali. I have such brain fog at this point in my life. Pete Coriali I have known for 30 years. I've been on his show a million times. He's been on my show. We've done. We've been in the trenches doing stand. Anyway, I spaced his name. My apologies to Pete Corieli. I should actually text him in case anybody tells him I forgot his name. Tour dates coming up. Huntington beach at Mamba on July 12th. St. Pete's has a festival called Joke World August 14 through 15. Also I'll be at the Cincinnati Funny Bone August 26th. Columbus Funny Bone, August 27th. Also coming to Vancouver on September 5th. This is just being announced. La Jolla, Batavia, Illinois. Phoenix. Go to Fitzdog.com, get some tickets. Come on out. Also, shout out to Gotham Production Studios for putting the show together. You'll notice the quality of the video is not as good today because normally Matt is here. He went away on a trip with his lovely wife this weekend for their honeymoon. And so we are on Zoom Video.

[Mike]

Might it have been their anniversary?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It is their anniversary. That's right. That is right.

[Mike]

You're so romantic. You call your anniversaries a honeymoon?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Did I say honeymoon?

[Mike]

You might have. Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, let's get it. You got some crinkleage.

[Mike]

Oh, man. Yeah. You know what it is? It's my. It's my bagel.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There we go.

[Mike]

It's my New York bagel in Brooklyn. Here, shout out to H H. Bagel Pub.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Bagel Pub.

[Mike]

How about that? Santa Monica needs one of these. Here we go. All right. Do ring girls outfits for Trump UFC fight. Breach the flag code. Never heard of a flag code. The custom.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think he has a fag code, though.

[Mike]

He went there. The custom red, white and blue outfits featuring sequins, flag motifs and short skirts were revealed ahead of the UFC Freedom250 event set to take place on the South Lawn as part of of celebrations marking their web. Blah, blah, blah. At the center of some online criticism is the US Flag code, which is a loose guideline for how the American flag should be treated. The code explicitly says the flag should never be used as wearing apparel, bedding, or drapery, and adds that no part of it should ever be used as a costume or athletic uniform. How about that? Now, the fight scheduled to take place June 14, it's coinciding with Flag Day and President Trump's birth and is being framed as a centerpiece of wider national celebrations for the 250th anniversary.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I can't believe that this democracy is going to last 251 years. What a run.

[Mike]

Yeah. You think it's going to make it to one? Or I guess it's one day in and makes it to one, technically.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I mean, if you're not supposed to wear the flag, that. Are you allowed to wear the flag, Are you allowed to drape yourself in it for. To promote fascism and racism? Yeah, it turns out they do.

[Mike]

Patriots are the one who misuse it the most.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes, it is pretty amazing. But look, and if you can't wear red, white, and blue, every Republican politician wears a blue suit, white shirt, and red tie with the flag pin on top of it. You got the New England Patriots, red, white, and blue. Robert Kraft, Brady pals with Trump, Sylvester Stallone, Rocky fought in a flag. And then Stallone introduced Trump at Mar A Lago, and he compared him to Washington, George Washington and Jesus Christ, which, I mean, Jesus Christ I get because he also hung around with prostitutes. He had 12 yes men around him. One of them betrayed him. Marjorie Taylor Greene. When he was born, he had riches handed to him and he went out into the desert for 40 days. Well, Trump went to Saudi Arabia for just long enough to make a $100 billion arms deal and another $2 billion deal for Jared's investment company. That was his time in the desert.

[Mike]

Yeah, very. Both very productive times in the desert.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Mike]

Life changing, kind of.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

You know, the only flag code I was kind of aware of was, and it's not even mentioned here, but that the flag is never to touch the ground. Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Never touch the ground.

[Mike]

And I think these ring girls, I think they're going to touch the ground. I think these outfits are going to be.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Their backs are going to be on the ground.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. If you think that those two fighters in the ring are grappling and grabbing and rolling around, wait till you see Trump with the ring girls at the after party.

[Mike]

I think some of the guys in the ring will also be on their backs with their American flag shorts Speedos at some point. But it does. I mean, what. What is hotter really? An American flag bikini? There's so many of those. Mostly in Florida. And they're pretty fetching, I gotta say.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I salute that. My cock salutes that flag.

[Mike]

Okay. All right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Speaking of which.

[Mike]

Don't. Do you hate the algorithm? Is that what you're doing?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know. And I already said fag. Jesus.

[Mike]

I know. Okay, let's get to. Well, on that note, let's get to vagina maxing. It's a vaginal microbiome report. Oh, sorry. A vaginal microbiome report sparks a surge in a trend. So Brian Johnson's vaginal micro. Micro. Micro what? Microbiome. Let me start again. Brian Johnson's vaginal microbiome report has sparked a surge in curiosity surrounding vagina maxing, which comes after looks maxing and ball maxing. I missed ball maxing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I missed ball maxing. I'm ball minimizing for sure.

[Mike]

And they've been doing the rounds on social media. So according to the expert, it's a social media term rather than a medical one. It refers to attempts to improve the appearance, smell, tightness, grooming, or perceived attractiveness of the vulva or vagina with beauty routines, supplements, procedures or products. The trend can include excessive grooming or hair removal, tightening products, vaginal steaming, washes or deodorants, whitening, lightening creams. So you can lighten it as well. Cosmetic procedures like labiaplasty or fillers, obsessive hygiene routines and supplements marketed for feminine freshness or libido.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, I don't know about excessive hair removal. I think get every hair out. There's nothing, nothing excessive about getting rid of all the hairs.

[Mike]

Does. I mean, do you want the word Max anywhere near vagina? It seems counterintuitive.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, even a guy named Max never gets near a vagina. Let's be honest.

[Mike]

All right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Max is one of those names, like Bruce is a gay name. Max is a nerd name.

[Mike]

It's also. Oh, I think it's like Woody Allen would give his old Jewish man. Max.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Where's Max?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, look, I've done every one of these things to my asshole and still nobody goes near it. And I go to Gold's Gym and drop my towel and there is no interest.

[Mike]

And also that self published book of yours on Amazon, Greg's Anal Maxing.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

By the way, it kind of makes you think, why did God make the vagina so repulsive? And I don't mean to objectify a woman's body part, but like, the penis is so simple. It is just a member it just hangs out. It's not wet. It doesn't have folds. And. And the vagina. I think he. I think Jesus Christ had to make the vagina kind of repulsive to keep men from having sex all the time. It was just a speed bump.

[Mike]

I think you're being generous with the description of the penis. I think most. Here's my take. I think most penises, when they don't know they're going to be on stage, in other words, when they don't know they're going to be unveiled, they're like, whoa, whoa. They're like. They're like almost like a hungover person who's like, no, no, no. Like squinty eyes, like, I'm not ready to be seen. Not like this. I've been pressed up into the body by these, you know, these underwear or jeans that are just jamming me in there. Give me. Give me some room. I gotta air out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, and the. And the. That's. Let's not even get into the balls. I mean, the skin. It looks like chicken skin.

[Mike]

No, that's our vagina.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. But the vagina is just. It's so common. Of course you got to clean it. It is just like. It's like the window of a hotel room. There's shades and blinds and curtains and so many places for moisture and bacteria to collect. And then we dump our load in. It comes out of our penis. Our penis doesn't retain any of that.

[Mike]

All right, well, just as a. As a public service announcement, no one's supposed to clean the inside of it, just so you know.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Is that true?

[Mike]

It's absolutely true. And it's a big backlash against this vagina maxing is. They're like. All the gynecologists that are catching on or women who know what they're talking about are like going online saying, whoa, slow, slow, slow. You can adorn the outside, you can spend time. You know what? But please let the. Let the biology take care of itself on the inside.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, I gotta say, this is a lot of wasted effort. Most guys don't care. I. I used to have a very low bar for the hygiene. I mean, I would go to a bar and dance. I'd be with a girl who literally danced for four hours and sweated, and I had no pride. You know what? Take a dump before we have sex.

[Mike]

Oh, okay. This is quite.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Are you menstruating? Hey, let's not. Let's. I don't need to get involved with that. Let's. Let's Move ahead with this project.

[Mike]

Also, I think a lot of guys would be like, if there's like a under construction sign on the front, they're like, no problem.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep.

[Mike]

We can literally work around it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Around it, yeah.

[Mike]

All right. God. Not related at all.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, let's clean it up.

[Mike]

Well, residual algae coats part of the newly opened reflecting pool, which is not code for vagina. The Trump administration has spent days heavily promoting the finished renovations at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, crediting the president with. With making Washington, D.C. look better than ever. But a day after the reservoir was filled post renovations, there was already quite a bit of algae visible from the water's edge. CNN spotted a worker clearing the algae from the bottom of the recently filled pool while shooting a video. Asked for comment, and an Interior Department spokesman said the algae is residual and a normal part of the early process of restoring operations at the reflecting pool.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What you are seeing some reflecting pool maxing.

[Mike]

What you are seeing is residual algae from the supply lines, which have been sitting dormant for eight weeks while construction has been taking place. It's part of the normal startup process. We are removing the algae and then nano bubblers. I left that word in there. I love. Nano bubblers. Will maintain the pool and keep it algae free.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Meanwhile, Republicans are still blaming the germs on MLK's march on Washington state 60 years ago.

[Mike]

So, yeah, I had the same thought that this is. This might. This. It sounds like it's true. It's the only residual argument that might be true in the Trump administration, because everything is residual. This is residual inflation. Apparently, our attacks in Iran are residual from the Biden administration. Everything is residual from the Biden administration that has happened in this administration. Even the good thing, they're blaming it on something residual.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, look, I think Trump will spend tens of million dollars on anything he can see his reflection in. So this was.

[Mike]

I. I could have predicted this very, very narcissistic.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Narcissistic sound that sounds like a Fallon joke. What the. What the kind of joke was that?

[Mike]

Oh, someone just. When I see Fallon at Knicks games, it ruins it for me a little more. More than. Not more than Taylor Swift, but about kind of the same.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Taylor Swift dancing on the floor with her two dope friends. Made me want to get a shotgun.

[Mike]

Oh, like, why go, though? Like, it's. You were very similar to the president in that way. You're just very distracting. Everyone's asking, why are you here? You know, you're not a real fan.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And also, I'm not.

[Mike]

I wouldn't even think to go to the gate. I'm not a fan enough to be in that building. Nevermind. By the way, right? Everyone is saying the vibe is very different and very unlike a lot of Madison Square Garden games because the real fans have had no choice but to sell their tickets.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Dude, it's. First of all, there is a luxury box for exactly this scenario. You sit behind glass, you get served sushi, and you don't get in anybody's eye line and you don't distract from the game. That's where you should.

[Mike]

And you can nap, you can text, you can do all the shit you're gonna do anyway.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh my God, I saw this. One woman was in the background. And you know how some people, because they're behind the bench, you can see them texting throughout the game, texting, get the fuck out. You should be thrown. And by the way, just going back to your point about not the normal crowd. It is a little bit surreal when you see the wat. The viewing parties outside are 90% black, the audience inside is 97% white, and the players on the court are 99% black. It's fucking weird, right?

[Mike]

Great point, Greg.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Let's just sit on that for a second. Let's not say anything.

[Mike]

And now we'll go to an ethical question.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Ethical question. All right, all right. This was sent in by Albert Corrado.

[Mike]

Okay.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Who had an idea for one that I liked.

[Mike]

Oh, it says drinking. I'm very self conscious because of these fuzzy memories that I'm gathering here in New York. I have to do one of those dry months when I get back. Go ahead, what's the question?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

A previous girlfriend that you were not faithful to, unknown to her, is back in the picture. You have changed your life and ethics and want to marry this woman. Do you disclose your past transgressions to show you are serious about accountability and that you want to start on a foundation of trust? Or do you keep it just to yourself, knowing that you will be a faithful partner and loving husband? Excellent question.

[Mike]

I think it's whatever you feel you need to do, but I think I could defend both. I mean, you don't really need to defend the full confessing, but defending the keeping it to yourself. You know, you've changed and you've grown and if it. I don't. I don't think you do, I guess is the short answer.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, well, what about I think

[Mike]

you could do, but I think you could do both is what I'm saying.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, good. A way to. Way to play ethical I hate to.

[Mike]

I hate to, like, bail out on it, because I'm not. I am saying I can defend the second one.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, what about this scenario? And is it scenario or scenario?

[Mike]

You know, you can say anything you want. You already said menstruating, so it's whatever you want to do.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Why is the word man in menstruating? How come?

[Mike]

Because it's for us.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Why is it a hysterectomy?

[Mike]

Hello. I keep. This is what it's like in a New York building. I keep hearing people walk in.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What. What about this scenario is, oh, there you go. There's somebody in the background. You marry this woman, and then two or three years down the line, it is brought to her attention that you had cheated on her. How do you think she would react to that? And would it hurt the marriage? And would you then look back and say, I should have disclosed this earlier?

[Mike]

Oh, well, I mean, so the cheat. The cheating happened in the first iteration of the relationship.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Mike]

Yeah, yeah. No, she has a good point. And. But that's what I mean. I think you have to kind of be articulate. I think you can't be defensive. I think you just have to be like. And maybe you can regret. Like, you probably. I don't know if you're being genuine saying you. You didn't know it would affect her this much, but that. That could be genuine. Like, I don't know. That was so long ago. And that's also when our relationship, by definition, wasn't working.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, what if it's struggling again? She could say, well, what if we struggle in the future? Does that mean you're going to step out?

[Mike]

Is that her giving me permission? I think that's so generous of her.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I think that would make sense in marriages.

[Mike]

I'd be like, you know what? Thank you, but it didn't work last time. You know what? I think I'm going to stay loyal. I know that's not what, you know, you're offering, but I'm going to stay loyal this time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. All right. Speaking of loyal, let's go down to Florida.

[Mike]

All right, here we go. Let's make America Florida again. Florida man claims he's asked. God, I love this headline. Florida man claims He Asked God a million times to allow him to kill his father. Who hasn't? The Investigation began on May 16 when a family member told deputies that the dad had not been seen since May 7. Deputies said they found evidence of foul play and handed the case to Major Crimes detectives, who obtained a search warrant for a Property. During the search, detectives said they found freshly dug dirt in the backyard. Not ever a good sign. Freshly dug dirt in the backyard when you don't have a garden is only bad.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, I think that the police in Florida should have drones that just go around looking for freshly dug dirt.

[Mike]

All right. Guess what else they found around the freshly dug dirt. And of course it was human remains later identified as the missing father. I'm shocked it wasn't identified as missing father. Plus, when detectives attempted a second jailhouse interview after he initially refused to speak, they said the guy confessed. Confessed to the killing. He reportedly told detectives, quote, I asked God a million times to let me kill my father. Please.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Come on, please.

[Mike]

And he claimed he was doing God's work because his father was trying to link up with satanic people and trying to kill him. Well, it sounds like this guy's a hero.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's that in Florida. I think you could put that down to self defense.

[Mike]

He's the front line against Satan. Yeah. This guy should be like compensated for it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

If anything, I think that God should get in trouble for not letting him kill this guy faster.

[Mike]

Yeah, like. Like why no one's doing my work. Why? Why does God get people doing his work?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes, this. That's true. That's true.

[Mike]

Everyone's doing God's work.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Uh huh.

[Mike]

God can't handle it. That's insulting.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Why can't God do his own work? Has he gotten lazy?

[Mike]

Yeah, it's ridiculous.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. God needs to get his shit together. I can't. I can't keep doing his work.

[Mike]

And also, but you know, it might not be God's fault. It's all these people handicapping God.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yes.

[Mike]

You know what, Let me help you out. It's like, I know, I got it. No, you know what? You don't. Clearly you don't because all around the world people are doing your work. It's pathetic. All right, here we go. Let's make America Texas again.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Let's do it.

[Mike]

We. Okay. Texas man. Texas man declared dead by Social Security. And he was forced to prove he is alive after the benefits stopped. We have learned. So the note that was sent to the house. We have learned of the passing of Anthony Morales says the letter from Social Security. But there's a problem. The person reading the letter was Anthony Morales, who was not dead. I hope not. If he's reading and looking at a negative balance on his account, that's because Social Security thought Anthony was dead. So they stopped sending him his disability checks. It put him two months behind. I Can't afford rent. I can't afford growth groceries. I can't afford maintenance on my wheelchair. Oh, he saved. Look at. He backloaded, that boy.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How much maintenance does it really require?

[Mike]

He's. I think someone to push it, probably. He says he had to make four trips to Social Security office with an unmaintained wheelchair.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

To convince.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Here comes squeaky again.

[Mike]

Well, it worked. The squeaky wheel. And he had to convince them he was alive. And this is the funny part. They. They literally had a picture of this and. Which was handwritten on the fourth trip. He had to write on the document, I'm still alive.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Check here. If you were still alive.

[Mike]

Does the signature. Does the signature not do that? Like what? Imagine the woman. Like, I guess. Yeah, like, you know, ever been a place where they're. Like when you're renewing your license or maybe you have a vehicle that's not exactly straightforward. It's going to be like. Like not. Not used. So you want to suspend the registration. So it's like you're kind of figuring it out together with the civil servant. All right, I guess. You know what? Here she turns, flips the paper around so it faces them. Just right here. I'm still alive. Like that's what they came up with.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, I mean, this is a pretty good prank. If people. What do you call it when you swat somebody? Like you send the SWAT teams to their house. If you. If you. Your ex husband, you don't like him, declare him dead to Social Security. You think Social Security is double checking? They're loving getting people off the list. All it takes is one person sending a forged death certificate to Social Security and you can totally fuck your crippled, hungry husband.

[Mike]

Squeaky, is this crippled also knock us out of the algorithm.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. C word. Just say C word. And we would have thought even it would have been funnier.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He's not a cunt. He's just crippled.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. Maya let fly with the C word. Right? That's in the. I was wondering if there was any room for improv kind of in O. Mary. But anyway, she lets fly with a very highlighted C word. At one point. It was hysterical. And there I am laughing at a curse. But it was so well delivered and great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Speaking of C words, let's go to sports.

[Mike]

Here we go.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Phil Mickelson is no longer welcomed at a fancy San Diego golf course after being accused of making unwanted contact with a female employee. The alleged incident is said to have gone down earlier this year in the clubhouse. The Six time major champion is accused of approaching a female employee and making, quote, non consensual and inappropriate physical contact with her, according to the report. Boy, golf has so many fucking rules. According to the report, the woman went to her bosses and the club immediately launched an investigation. When the 55 year old Golf legend returned to the courts, he was confronted and told to vacate the premises, which he did before completing his round. That seems harsh. You're on 16. Jesus Christ.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

A spokesman for Phil downplayed the situation. You know you're in trouble when you have a spokesman and you're a golfer. Downplay the situation, saying any misunderstanding has been cleared up. Phil continues to attend to a family health matter and is uncertain when he will be able to return to professional golf.

[Mike]

Wow.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

The family health matter is that his. His wife seems to be running a fever right now. She's checking on that.

[Mike]

This is defense. He should be like, listen, all I told her is, I want to get this in the back of your stance. I want your knees bent. It has to be in the back of your stance. Do you understand? And you really gotta drive the hips.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

You gotta drive the hips and really keep your head down. Way down.

[Mike]

Especially after you just keep your head down.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And he, and he even said to her in his defense, do you want it in or out?

[Mike]

It was a good lie.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He barely touched her. And it sounds like it was a one stroke penalty, maybe a two stroke penalty.

[Mike]

Oh, my God. All right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Like most of his drives lately, he was out of bounds and grabbed a ball.

[Mike]

How many of these do you have?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, did you know he calls the bar cart girls the 19th hole, which I thought was a red flag.

[Mike]

It'll be 19th holes, I think would have sold that better.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, let's go international. Let's go down to science. We got a good science story here.

[Mike]

All right, here we go. Science. You do science.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

A North Carolina man named Michael Phillips. Oh, publicly claiming he has the world's smallest penis. And he's challenging anyone on earth to prove him wrong. Phillips, 38, says his penis measures.38 inches, not.4 inches.38 inches when fully erect. To illustrate it, he held up the fingernail on his pinky and said, when it's flaccid, it's smaller than that. He did. And he did research online, and he said, I welcome anybody out there to beat me. Not a great. What choice of phrasing. He described several occasions where he was, quote, in a position where I could have sex and trying and not being successful. He Said using the bathroom can also be difficult because it goes everywhere. He claimed that medical providers didn't give any advice on how to increase it, though they mentioned there's minor things that can be done. He's like, did you have to say minor? He also claims. This is my joke. He also claims he has the biggest male breasts and is the moodiest guy on the planet.

[Mike]

So 0.38 inches when fully erect. And then he has the nerve to say, or courage that when it's flaccid, it's smaller. But here's what this guy with a 0.38 inches penis saying is that he's a shower. A grower. I mean, he's a grower, right? Not a shower. How much smaller is the showing before the growing when you're 0.38, when you're showing?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, look, I've. I've seen women with clitoris that are at least a half an inch. So this is. I mean, have you heard of the term.

[Mike]

This might be your most disgusting podcast that we've ever done, actually. Yeah. All right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Matt leaves us, and this is what we end up doing. Hermaphrodites, basically. This is a hermaphrodite. He's not just the smallest penis. He has a medical condition also.

[Mike]

What would you say the difference if a guy is claiming, right? And he's average. Say a guy's claiming he's a shower. And I mean a grower. I keep saying that because. I keep saying, show her. Because doesn't anyone just want to show it once, Once they're at full mask? So anyway, difference. You know, my friend's daughter is here, and this is what I'm yelling in the apartment. But the difference between a grower and a shower, it has to be four, five, sometimes six times the difference, right?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep. Right.

[Mike]

So what do you think? Honestly, this guy's at 0.38. What is he when he's not growing?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

One. Six of four. Tenths of an inch?

[Mike]

Someone. I think it's negative.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Tenth of an inch? Yeah.

[Mike]

I'm not a math guy, but I think it's negative. I think it's inside the body.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Did you ever read the book Middlesex?

[Mike]

You know what? No. It's been. It's been highly recommended. And now that I'm a reader, I might get to it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

This guy Eugenetis wrote it. That's one top three favorite books I've ever read. It's about the. It's about three different stories of three different hermaphrodites in different times in history. And It's. It's brilliant.

[Mike]

Is hermaphrodite still the accepted term? We'll let the algorithm.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Why do they call it a hermaphrodite?

[Mike]

Yeah. Did it come out in the 90s? When did it come out?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Came out in the 90s.

[Mike]

Yeah, it was like the perfect timing. Also, like, it was the talk of the country, maybe the world.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, look, let's move down to a thing called this day. This day in history.

[Mike]

All right, full disclosure, I'm a little off. When you were reading the story about the. That guy, the. The unblessed guy with his penis, I realized they didn't have this day in history, so I just called it up.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay, here we go.

[Mike]

There's a. This is called a blind read. Yellowstone was established. Did we do this last week? No, as the first. Oh, I think there might have been another national park. Anyway, Yellowstone was established as the world. The world's first national park. On this day, I'm not going to tell you. The president was. That would give it out, but it was signed, and it was an act that was signed on this day, give or take. I'm going to give you 30 years.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right? I mean, you would think immediately Teddy Roosevelt, because he was Johnny National park, but that would have been in, like, the 19. I'm reading a book about him right now. So that would have been in, like, 19. 10. Is that when Teddy Roosevelt was around 1910? So I'm gonna just go ahead and say 1910. I'm gonna say 1910.

[Mike]

1872 was US Grant.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Whoa.

[Mike]

Yeah, I know. Okay.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, Grant was a big explorer guy, too. Okay.

[Mike]

Okay, here's one. In a major capital punishment case.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Wait, how many years did you give me?

[Mike]

30.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay.

[Mike]

In a major capital punishment case, the U. S. Supreme Court ruled that it was unconstitutional to execute people who were under the age of 18 at the time of their crimes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So

[Mike]

what year, give or take 20 years, did the US Supreme Court rule that it's unconstitutional, execute people who were under 18? Oh, hold on. I'm gonna write something down. I'm gonna write something down.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay. I'm gonna say we started caring about things like that in the.

[Mike]

So what did I say? Give or take what, 20 years?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, okay, I'll say 1957.

[Mike]

All right. I predicted you'd be 80 years off. I wrote down the number 80. It's 2005.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No way.

[Mike]

I know. I. So I tried to pick a generically big number, but what I wanted to say was, give or take 75 years,

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I would have Gone back. I wouldn't have gone forward,

[Mike]

of course. No, no, probably right. Justin Bieber was born in London.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I'm already wrong on this one.

[Mike]

In London, Ontario. Good luck, Ontario. You started playing football 20 minutes ago in the World Cup. It's Saturday as we. Is it today? Saturday. Friday. It's Friday as we record this. Okay. Justin Bieber, give or take three years, was born in what year?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

1979.

[Mike]

So I just want to read the question again. Justin Bieber. Oh, was born in what year? Give or take. I forgot what I even said. I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you five years now. What did I say? Three,

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

2000?

[Mike]

1994.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was closer with the first one.

[Mike]

Let's do another birthday. Ron Howard. Born, give or take five years.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

1960.

[Mike]

1954. You already lost. Okay, the Hoover Dam. I really got to start digging up the drought stories because Hoover Dam is in the news. But the Hoover Dam was completed. Get the only five years of construction, which is less time than it takes to open a bar on Main street in Santa Monica that already exists, to renovate a bar and open it and I guess get through the red tape. So anyway, after five years of construction, the Hoover Dam on the Colorado river at the Arizona Nevada border was completed, give or take 10 years. When was this?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

This sounds like something that was done under FDR as part of that work program in the 30s. So I'll say 1935.

[Mike]

Gregory? 1936.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Thank you.

[Mike]

All right, last one. Charles Lindbergh's two year old son, Charles Augustus Jr. Was kidnapped from their home near Hopewell, New Jersey, and was later found murdered. Bruno Houtman was convicted of the baby's kidnapping and murder and he was executed. What year was the Lindbergh baby stolen, give or take seven years.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

1954.

[Mike]

All right, what do you know? Normally you do this math actually very well out loud. Sometimes it doesn't lead to. Great.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was thinking that. Wasn't he like a big hero in World War II? And then he came. Oh, wait, no, he was.

[Mike]

He was the Red Baron. You got it. No, but also, what else do you know about Lindbergh?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He. Wasn't he a Nazi sympathizer?

[Mike]

Yes.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay, so then this must have been closer to the 40s. So what, like 40, 42.

[Mike]

Also, what is he most known for?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He flew across the Atlantic. Right, right.

[Mike]

But many have. He was the first.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

So it wasn't like World War II fame. His fame from World War II? You already stated, actually.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, so maybe he was a World War I flyer. So this would have been in 1928.

[Mike]

We kind of did it together. 1932.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right.

[Mike]

All right, let's move on. Here we go. Oh, wait. How about. Wait, one more.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right.

[Mike]

Wilt Chamberlain sets new NBA record. Since we're talking about 1972. What? Do you know what record?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I was going to say most points in a game?

[Mike]

Well, he recorded 100 points in a single NBA game. Yeah, I would have said, give or take 10 years. Would I have? Probably not. But I'm going to say that now because it's 1962. So you did it, buddy. All right, let's get out on that weird high note. All right, Letters to the editor. Here we go.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay, from David, who's from Halifax, Canada, playing in the World cup right now. Can you ask, no demand that Mike has to perform a skit as Andy Rooney. Or if Mike is too camera shy, it could become a new weekly bit. That impression and riff off the top of his head was hilarious. I'd love to hear from Andy Rooney every week. And what craziness is going on in the news. I agree. I agree 100%. I've never heard you do an impression before, and you kind of nail that.

[Mike]

Well, now my New York voice is totally shot. Otherwise, I would say, like, ever notice Canadians are the most complimentary. I know I do. How nice they are. Is something wrong? I think there might be.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

They've got provinces. We have states. States tell you things.

[Mike]

Everything.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Provinces.

[Mike]

Yeah. Canada makes everything nice. Maple syrup makes pancakes nice. I know they do for me.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And what about the name Halifax?

[Mike]

The people from the Titanic are buried there. And you know what? Best place they can be. Maybe it was for the best. I think so.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, speaking of dead guys, let's do an obituary.

[Mike]

All right, here we go. All right. David Hockney. This is today's news, today being Friday. David Hockney, the English artist who's deftly designed and suavely colored paintings turned transatlantic Atlantic attention to figurative and narrative art beginning in the late 50s and early 60s, after decades in which abstraction had dominated. So he died yesterday in his home in London. He was 88. His reputation spread to New York in 63, when he made a second heavily networked trip there. And he met the mets, curator of 20th century art, who would become a close and influential friend. And then this is the last paragraph, but I had a. Cut it and paste it in here from down in the article. The following year, Mr. Hockney visited Los Angeles for the first time. Some of his best known paintings Many, including images of swimming pools, were done there, identifying him as the quintessential artist of Southern California's. California's nouveau riche leisure life.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Hey, that's us.

[Mike]

So the story goes, he hadn't even. He was on the plane to la, and he could not believe, especially being from London or England anyway, the amount of swimming pools that he saw out of his airplane window.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, yeah, you do see a lot of that.

[Mike]

And he became obsessed. And now. You've been to the Roosevelt Hotel. Do you know about the Roosevelt? You say Roosevelt.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Roosevelt Hotel.

[Mike]

The Roosevelt Hotel. Swimming pool.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Doesn't it have mosaics that were brought in from Italy?

[Mike]

So close. Hockney painted the bottom of the swimming pool.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, okay.

[Mike]

Put all is. I'm gonna very uneducatingly describe it as his water kind of marks this kind of motion that it gives the pool. And they just renovated the pool because they were fading so much under the chlorine.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Was Trump in charge of that?

[Mike]

They're now covered in algae, residual algae.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And are they pool maxing?

[Mike]

We just call back to everything. So anyway, Hockney is like. I think of him as, like, maybe the most LA artist, actually, that has ever lived. And you will know one of his paintings from a mile away. As. As. As they say, it has its own language and it's distinctly his. And you can see it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I just was at LACMA with my mom, who did not like lacma, the Los Angeles.

[Mike]

Is it because her son pronounces it wrong? Did she like lacma?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Lacma. And she did not care for Mr. Hockney's work.

[Mike]

Oh, is that. There's not an exhibit he just has permanent ones on? Yeah, or whatever. They live there. Mostly reside there.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right, cheer up. This Hockney thing is really taking a toll.

[Mike]

Here we go. Funnies.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Every week we do the comedy caption contest. You guys send in punchlines to one comic that we give you. We choose ones that tickle us. We read them, we pick a winner. That person wins nothing. We have we. I think we did. You get the last koozie?

[Mike]

Not out. Well, I'm in New York.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right.

[Mike]

I left. I came here Monday. I didn't have a lot of time. But I'm not saying that, like, as a playful way. I gave my word. I'm gonna send them out.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Okay, good. So for now, we're putting the prize on hold. But just know we appreciate you sending these in. We hope it's an honor to have your name read. And let's start. Last week's comic was three Tyrannosaurus Rex. T. Rexes. They're standing in a prehistoric land and one of them is talking to the other two. David Bentley said, I swear, it's really itchy. Again, guys, please.

[Mike]

All right, so that's just a rant. I mean, it seems just like a dirty joke. And it would have worked if it was tied in a. In a clever way to what, eventually, like, made them extinct or something smarter than this, I guess. David.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There were a number of entries along these lines, a lot of them in doing. To do with jerking off.

[Mike]

Like why. Why couldn't. Oh. That they can't reach.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah.

[Mike]

Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Brad says, come on, we'll call it a menage trex.

[Mike]

Kind of like it. I. I hate to give wordplay that much credit, but I like it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

John M. Said, I'm Greta Dino Berg, and how dare you?

[Mike]

I don't. It's probably because I don't read the news. I don't get that one.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Something about the environment. I don't know. Rich Kennedy. Rich Kennedy said, is it just me or is the climate changing.

[Mike]

All right, there. There's a.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

There's that one. I don't know why. Yeah, it's just a fucking. It's just a high fastball up the middle.

[Mike]

Yeah. Does it seem to be getting colder? Wouldn't that be more on the money?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No, because that's an actual description. I don't know. Something about climate changing sounds more like something you would have said after it happened. Brian Reed said, the doctor said it stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome and there's no cure.

[Mike]

What? An advanced doctor. I mean, that's pretty impressive.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. Tim Dilley said, okay, ladies, asteroid watching is over. Now bend over and let's keep this species going.

[Mike]

All right? Okay, Jeff.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Jeff. A in PA said, chin up, boys. Our luck's about to change. I can feel it.

[Mike]

That's kind of funny.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Bill Hansen said there's an alternative theory that large igneous fields are responsible and they won't happen for another million years.

[Mike]

Got it. Bill. Bill did some research.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Matthew said, jesus loves you this much,

[Mike]

if you're gonna go with the short arms, that's a pretty good way to go. Yeah, I didn't see it coming.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Ben said, imagine how climate change will impact our future. That's why I'm going vegan. Who's with me?

[Mike]

All right, not bad.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Dustin Lawrence said, I'm telling you, a comet this big, not bad. Jesus.

[Mike]

This big again.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Sonia Fro Leck said. Sponsored by Green Chew for reptile extinction okay.

[Mike]

Yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

That's cute. Yeah, Chris Wolf said. I heard after we die, we turn into vitamins.

[Mike]

Not. Yeah, I guess.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

All right. I think you like the Jesus loves you this much. I think you liked.

[Mike]

I like Comet this big. It's the same joke. Maybe it's better about the comet.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Really?

[Mike]

I think maybe because it's about the comet. Yeah, like dust.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Laurenson, you have won this week. Congratulations. Thank you. To all of our entrants for your creativity and your effort and sending them in. We love reading all of them, even though we don't use them all. We really enjoy going through them. So thank you. Send them in to fitzdogradiomail.com Put your name right underneath. Makes it easy for me. And let's move on to the next week's comic caption contest. It is. There's a party going on. People are dressed pretty. Nice suit, tie, dresses. There's a man talking to a woman. They're each holding a cocktail, and he's talking to her. There's a talk bubble above his head, but then there's a think bubble coming from his crotch. So I guess what we're looking for is two. We're looking for what they call a couplet. So there'll be a speaking joke, and there will be a penis thought joke.

[Mike]

I like the setup.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Have fun with that hagger. The Horrible this week is talking to Helga. She's on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. And then he says to her, helga, you deserve a second honeymoon. And I'll make all the arrangements. And then Helga's mother goes, at least let Helga choose the second husband.

[Mike]

Oh, that almost sounds like a Lockhorns.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Well, like, in a good way. The reason I picked it is it goes back to, I think the original hag of the horrible comic that. That made this a segment weekly is that she was abducted. Helga was abducted by. By Haggard.

[Mike]

Oh, yeah.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He. He stole her and he raped her. And that's the origin story for this marriage. And so this sounds like she's saying at least it let her choose the second husband, since she didn't choose you.

[Mike]

I was gonna call it a non consensual kidnapping. And. And think that that's a funny phrase. But you know what the funny thing is? There's a lot of consensual kidnappings. We had a friend who was consensually kidnapped by his father when he was a child.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Oh, right.

[Mike]

You know what I mean? Like, I never thought of it that way. Yeah, some are illegal and bad I'm not judging the kidnapping, but the people being taken sometimes are for it.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yep. Just. Just to give you guys the other side, we always try to give you another perspective on things.

[Mike]

Yeah. I would think the word kidnapping, or is such a. Like, almost. It has these. The violent vibes obviously in it, built in, but it's not always. All right, here's the onion.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's not like you're taking a screaming child. It's a kid and he's napping.

[Mike]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's a. Yeah, it's gentle.

[Mike]

All right, here are two onions. The second one is very appropriate for one of our stories, but here's the first one. It's a crying woman. And it goes. Study says crying, not linked to what you said, but the way you said it. And then here's the one that's related. So coincidentally, it's.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

What's the picture?

[Mike]

It's a. It's a guy with his pipe, which is called a flute, but it's a revolutionary character wearing a flag shirt. And it says, new evidence proves First Fleet, first flag made by Betsy Ross. Actually, shirt for gay friend.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah, it's pretty gay.

[Mike]

Yeah. So you have that. Of course it's gay. It's going to be on the lawn in a cage.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I don't know what's going on with Benny Bunny Hest, but the Lockhorns was off the mark this week. There wasn't one that I. Oh, wow.

[Mike]

Well, you read, like, for a week. We could have been reading them for years.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

I know. I pace myself up, but usually she's got them every week. This is a very rare good point. So now Dummy is sitting on the chair, and he. Dagwood. And he's watching tv. And the TV says, a scientist has admitted that his telescopic photo of a new star was actually a slice of something salami. And then Dagwig. Huh? And then the second frame, it says, salami as an Italian sausage. And. And. And Blondie goes, oh, my. And the TV says, bingo. Looks kind of yummy. Huh? And then we have Dagwood sitting at the diner, and Lou, who is the cook, says, why the sudden craving for salami? Dagworth says, it's complicated. Once again, I just want to point out that in the second frame of this, there's an opportunity for Dagwood to make a move, to be a man. And when it says the photo is actually salami, he could go, hey, honey, I got a salami. You can see. And now she's bent over that brown chair, that velvet skirt bunched up on the small of her back as he thrusts into those ivory shaped, perfectly round buttocks. And she stares at the salami on the tv and she thinks, finally, finally, Dagwood showed me what a man is.

[Mike]

This is the worst cartoon, the tv. What are these two? Newscaster. I mean, we have to do some math on that second frame. They're having a conversation. Yeah, I thought she said, bingo. Looks kind of yummy. It. And then I thought maybe he was saying, oh, my. No, she is. Oh, what a waste of time.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

It's bad.

[Mike]

Also, is it a sudden craving for salami in this trip? Isn't he always craving it?

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Yeah. And why go to a diner? I mean, just go to the store. You're gonna leave your wife. You're sitting home watching tv and you just leave your wife and go to a diner?

[Mike]

Well, as you point out, you're leaving her just thinking and looking at salami saying, oh, my Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And by the way, notice he puts a suit and tie on to go to the greasy diner. He's sitting in a yellow shirt watching tv. Yeah. Fuck. All right, listen, Ending support our sponsors, even though we don't have any this week, but also, we got one.

[Mike]

Come on now. Here we go. We got the bagel.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Bagel, yeah.

[Mike]

Park Slope, Brooklyn. Come on down.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Also, you know who you might see there?

[Mike]

You want to know who you might see there, Greg.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Who?

[Mike]

John Turturro. He lives on the next block.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

No kidding.

[Mike]

He's become a little bit of an Internet Instagram darling. His son has put him on Instagram.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

He's been very funny with the different layers of Nick's clothing.

[Mike]

Yep.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

So prepare for next week. Jeff Buckley documentary. I believe it's on Netflix. I'm not sure, but watch it. We will be discussing next week. We want to thank again, Matt for doing a great job. Hope you're enjoying your honeymoon and honeymoon anniversary.

[Mike]

Right.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

And I guess we'll see you guys next week.

[Mike]

Take it Eash.

[Greg Fitzsimmons]

Go next in five.

[Mike]

All right, Update paper.