So you made a Wishlist...now what?

Summary

Sustain This! Podcast Episode Summary: "So You Made a Wishlist...Now What?"

Release Date: March 4, 2025
Hosts: Alyssa Beltempo, Christina Mychas, & Signe Hansen

In this engaging episode of Sustain This!, hosts Alyssa Beltempo, Christina Mychas, and Signe Hansen delve into the practicalities of creating and managing a fashion wishlist to promote mindful consumption and a more intentional wardrobe. The conversation offers valuable insights and actionable strategies for listeners looking to refine their shopping habits and cultivate a wardrobe filled with cherished pieces.

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1. The Purpose of a Wishlist

Alyssa Beltempo introduces the concept of a wishlist as a tool to identify wardrobe gaps and manage shopping impulses. She emphasizes the importance of distinguishing between necessary items and whimsical desires:

"I also like to put things that are purely whimsical wish list. Like, random. Like, maybe it is something that you saw somewhere and you were like, oh, my God, I need this."
[00:30]

2. Building a Detailed Wishlist

Christina Mychas highlights the significance of creating a crystal-clear, detailed wishlist to serve as an effective filter against impulsive purchases. She advocates for specificity to ensure that only items aligning with one's true desires make it to the list:

"I think it's a really nice sort of filter. It's a good technique."
[04:16]

The hosts discuss various methods for maintaining a wishlist, whether digitally on a phone or in a physical journal, catering to different personal preferences.

3. Managing Wishlist Items Over Time

The conversation shifts to strategies for maintaining and updating the wishlist. Christina shares her approach of allowing items to remain on the list for a period—typically 72 hours—to assess their true necessity:

"I like to wait a minimum of 72 hours. But honestly, sometimes all you need to even forget about an Item is like 90 seconds."
[06:30]

Alyssa echoes this sentiment, noting that introspection often leads to the realization that some desires may not be as essential as initially thought.

4. Balancing Impulse and Intentional Shopping

The hosts explore the delicate balance between enjoying spontaneous finds and adhering to the wishlist. Alyssa shares a personal anecdote about purchasing a dress not originally on her list, illustrating how valuable items can sometimes slip through the filters when the criteria are broad:

"I was on a vintage market and ended up buying this dress that wasn't on my list. It was €10 and just felt right."
[27:08]

Christina adds that such instances are part of the shopping process and can be managed by having clear intentions and assessing whether the new addition serves a unique purpose in the wardrobe.

5. Long-Term Wishlist Items and Goals

Discussion moves to long-term wishlist items and the concept of saving for significant purchases. Christina shares her experience of having a Chanel bag on her wishlist for five years, which eventually transformed into a "dog fund," demonstrating how priorities can evolve over time:

"I've had a Chanel bag on my wish list for like five years and I have not acted on it. It turned into like a dog fund."
[17:00]

This highlights the importance of flexibility and recognizing when certain desires may no longer align with current life circumstances or values.

6. Visual vs. Textual Wishlists

Alyssa suggests incorporating visual elements into wishlists using tools like Index, allowing for mood boards and visual references that can inspire and guide intentional purchases. Christina agrees, noting that visually mapping out wishlist items can aid in assessing their fit within the existing wardrobe:

"Figure out if you are someone who prefers having a visual wish list, like an actual picture of the thing that you want."
[20:35]

7. Emotional Relationship with Shopping

The hosts delve into the emotional aspects of shopping and consumption. Alyssa reflects on her personal journey post-divorce, where she oscillated between restrictive spending and indulgent purchasing, and how maintaining a wishlist helped her navigate these impulses:

"Post divorce, I had a period where I was like, say yes to everything. Like, actually enjoy the thing."
[33:21]

Christina reinforces the idea of balanced indulgence, comparing it to enjoying a cookie while maintaining a healthy diet routine:

"Just eat the cookie. Yeah, it's kind of like that all or none, right?"
[34:33]

8. Practical Tips for Effective Wishlist Management

• Delay Gratification: Implement a waiting period before making a purchase to ensure it's a well-considered decision. Christina recommends a minimum of 72 hours.

• Assess Necessity and Budget: Regularly evaluate wishlist items based on current wardrobe needs and financial capacity.

• Visualize and Plan: Use visual tools to integrate wishlist items into your existing style and wardrobe seamlessly.

• Stay Flexible: Allow the wishlist to evolve as personal styles and priorities change over time.

9. Personal Stories and Community Engagement

Towards the end of the episode, Alyssa shares a spontaneous purchase of a dress at a vintage market, demonstrating that even with a structured wishlist, unexpected finds can enrich one's wardrobe. This anecdote serves as a reminder that flexibility and intuition play roles in mindful consumption.

10. Conclusion and Takeaways

The episode wraps up with a reflection on the discussed strategies, encouraging listeners to utilize their wishlists as tools for intentional and joyful consumption. The hosts invite the community to engage by sharing their own experiences and questions, fostering a supportive environment for those striving to build a more mindful and cherished wardrobe.

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Notable Quotes:

• "If you put it on the wish list, it has to sit there for at least 24 hours." — Alyssa Beltempo [00:30]

• "It's not a hell yes and it's a no. And, you know, in order to know what your hell yes is, you have to know exactly what it is you want." — Christina Mychas [04:16]

• "I might go and investigate what that thing is. I might want to know the brand or whatever it is, but it goes straight to the wish list because in that moment, my guard is quite down." — Christina Mychas [06:24]

• "It's something that you can do to enjoy your time. And it just makes me think of how much online shopping can be used as like an emotional crutch or as a way to fill our time." — Christina Mychas [17:00]

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Final Thoughts:

This episode of Sustain This! provides a comprehensive guide to creating and managing a fashion wishlist, blending practical advice with personal stories. By emphasizing intentionality, mindfulness, and flexibility, the hosts empower listeners to make thoughtful fashion choices that align with their values and lifestyle.

For more insights and community discussions, tune in to Sustain This! every Tuesday and join their YouTube community for exclusive content.

Transcript

[Alyssa]

Welcome to Sustain this, a podcast where we discuss mindful consumption, personal style, and the quest for living a more intentional life. I'm Alyssa, a sustainable stylist.

[Christina]

And I'm Christina, a shopaholic turned minimalist. Ish.

[Sina]

And I'm Sina, a color consultant and slow fashion style coach.

[Alyssa]

Together we will unpack the nuances of what it really means to be a conscious consumer and find more joy in what we have right now. So grab your tea, your coffee, or whatever floats your boat and join us in the conversation. Let's go. Yay. Yay. We talk so much about shopping with a list on this channel, and I'm sure this is something. This is a topic that I think a lot of people in the slow fashion and sustainable fashion space talk about, right? Like, shop with a list. But say you shop with a list or you have one and you've built it, you've identified the gaps in your wardrobe, then what do you do? Like, what if you're one of those kinds of people who likes to, like, cross things off a list so you just compulsively shop and you buy one thing after another, then what do you do long? Does something stay on your list? So today we're going to talk about what to do once you've made your wish list and how you can actually make it work for you and how you can use it to manage a closet that is full of pieces you actually wear and that you love. So.

[Christina]

Yes. Do you keep a wish list, Alyssa?

[Alyssa]

Yes, 100%.

[Christina]

What's on your wish list right now?

[Alyssa]

So you know what? I had to look the other day because I went to a vintage market, and, you know, with vintage, I. Okay. So I have to say vintage is actually one of my kind of freebie categories. I have two. Vintage and footwear, so.

[Christina]

Oh, I like that.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. Right. So, okay, so I guess this is actually a good starting point because, like, it's good to have a list. Fine. Great with your wardrobe gaps and needs. But I also like to put things that are purely whimsical wish list. Like, random. Like, maybe it is something that you saw somewhere and you were like, oh, my God, I need this. But the wish list just kind of, you know, you're gonna keep it on there for a minimum of 24 hours at least. That's kind of. My little rule is, like, if you put it on the wish list, it has to sit there for at least 24 hours. But then I also have these, like, catch all categories where it's just if you're vintage Shopping and you see something and it feels good and it's like a 100%, then you get it, you know, and obviously if the price is right too. But anyway, so I was there. What do I have? Okay, gosh, I have four things. Linen trousers. A wide leg.

[Christina]

Okay, wide leg.

[Alyssa]

Linen trouser, not elasticated waist. Unless it's only at the back. No drawstring in white or oatmeal.

[Christina]

Very specific. Which is a very good thing. To which it's like a good point of how to build your wish list. Writing it out in crystal clear detail of what? Oh, yeah, look at that. I love it. And it's just as simple as keeping it on your phone or in a journal or wherever. You know, whatever works for you. If you like pen to paper, if you like to use the index app, there's. There's no rules on how you keep your wish list. But I do like that as a starting off point to have to write down what you have in mind in crystal clear detail. Because that way when something does come across, that. Because you know you're going to be fed things all day long and you're going to see outfits and be triggered by something and something's going to spark that curiosity. But if it doesn't fit that criteria that you set out, then you know that you can filter it out. You can kind of separate you from a potential buy that you might regret or that you might feel disappointed about or that feels like a waste of money. So I love the idea that you specified even down to the waistband. That's wild. I love that. Normally it's like, I want a pair of red flats, but it's like, no, you want more detail. Like red flats with silver hardware, patent.

[Alyssa]

Leather, patent mat, you know?

[Christina]

Yeah. How many inches is the steel getting into the nitty gritty of it, you know, like, what's your criteria? Because at the end of the day, it's like. I mean, I always kind of come back down to the mantra of it's not a hell yes and it's a no. And, you know, in order to know what your hell yes is, some of it is just knowing exactly what it is you want and even what it is you don't want. So writing it out in detail like that, I think is a really nice sort of filter. It's a good technique.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, thanks. Yeah. Like you said, it really helps you bypass what's not. Yeah. What's not for you. I. So, yeah, so that's kind of. I think if we're starting off from just a list management perspective, that's kind of how I do it. Super specific. But then you also have those two categories that are just kind of fun. Or maybe you have that piece that's just fun. Another piece that one of those examples of, like, one of those fun pieces is a Rosie corset. So Rosie is the brand. This was fully like an ice, like.

[Christina]

Baby pink corset or something. I was like, no, where did that go?

[Alyssa]

Wait, maybe it's. Yeah, that's so not me. Or maybe it's pronounced Rosie. The brand is R O, Z, I, E. Okay. I think either in white denim, right? It sounds like it's rosy.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah.

[Alyssa]

Either in white denim or blue, pale denim or leather. They have all three of those options. And this was totally an impulse. I saw it on Valeria Lipovetsky and I was like, I'm a corset girl. Like, I want corset. But it's been on there since, like, probably November. And I think this would help answer the question of, like, how long does something stay on your list? And I think that depends on a few things. A budget. These things go for, like $400. So that's like, you know, that's a lot of money for something that is the next factor, which is, like, how much of a priority is it? Like, how necessary is it? And obviously a bustier is not necessary in my life at all, like, if at all.

[Christina]

You know what I mean? So, yes, things don't always have to be fully necessary. But yes, agree.

[Alyssa]

But yeah. So I feel like budget and necessity will determine how long you leave something on your list. What about you, Christina? How long do things last on your list?

[Christina]

Oh, they can be years. I use the wish list in two different ways. One is to just basically separate myself from an impulse buy that I might regret later. And two, to actually build up a plan to buy something that I know I really want. So I started using. Using wish lists when I was kind of coming out of, like, the whole no buy ultra minimalist mentality and kind of like leaning into, well, like, how do I kind of trying to answer the question of how do I shop for things that I want? How do I keep that part? Like that money dial, I guess, like that money value where I enjoy spending money on clothes, I enjoy shopping. Like, how do I do that in a way that doesn't me over financially? Basically, I'll bleep that out. But because before I had no system. Like, if you think I'm trying to think back to how I used to shop. And I was such like a mannequin dresser where I would just see something on somebody or on an associate at a store or on an influencer and I would just like buy the whole outfit from head to toe immediately. Like, there was no filter, no thought, just like, oh, I love that outfit. And I completely acted on emotion and then, you know, ended up with something that I didn't know how to wear and I didn't know how I was going to pay for it. So the wish list is just a way to take a breath. You see something that you like, you're triggered by something. And it's just as easy as like, what I really noticed is if I'm like on TikTok or something like that, I might not be searching for something, but I'll see something on someone that I like. And it's like an instantaneous. Ooh. It's like, it's a trigger and it's something that you might not like. Maybe you opened up your app not really having that in mind. Maybe you just wanted to be entertained or see something funny or see like a cute cat video. But then you get served a really cute outfit and then it kind of turns that switch on in your brain. So putting it down on a wish list, like, I might go and investigate what that thing is. I might want to know the brand or whatever it is, but it goes straight to the wish list because in that moment, my guard is quite down, I'm emotionally triggered, I'm emotionally heightened, and I just know it's probably not going to be the most well intentioned thought out decision. Like if I didn't go into a shopping activity thinking that I'm like prepared to spend money, aware of what I'm looking for, then it has to go on the wish list. So I like to separate. So once it lands on there. To answer your question about timeline, I like to wait a minimum of 72 hours. But honestly, sometimes all you need to even forget about an Item is like 90 seconds. I'm telling you, like, like a minute. It can be that you. Yes, yes, exactly. So it's something that it can just feel so intense and like the craving can be so high in the moment. And even if you just do that and walk away. Yeah. An hour later you're going to forget that you even. It's going to leave your mind completely. And like, what I always say all the time is, I find it hilarious how much when I'm going to put something new on my wish list, how many things I've actually Forgotten that I wanted to begin with until I open up that wish list again. I open it up, I see the list, I'm like, oh, yeah, I wanted that. Huh. So I haven't thought, like, if I haven't given it a second thought since it landed on the wish list, then I know it's probably something that I don't genuinely want. But you know, there's no rules in terms of how long something needs to be on there. Because I agree with you, it can, you know, if it's something that you planning you want to buy. I think 72 hours is a good barometer. I feel like with that it also needs to fit your budget and like how comfortable you are with spending that money. Which is why I like to, you know, have something. Some things like a fun money budget. Like, because, you know, I think not everything needs to be planned to a T. I almost like to sort of bake in unexpected spontaneity so that you can. Spontaneity, yeah, exactly. But other times, you know, things can be on there for years, years and years and years because it could just be something that you're always dreaming of. Like I've had a Chanel bag on my, on my wish list for like five years and I have not acted on it. I was saving for it and then it turned into like a dog fund. So, you know, there's like things that you think you want and then, and then the priorities change. So I think for more longer term things, if it's something that you really want, then basically the wish list acts as your tool to make your plan to buy it.

[Alyssa]

I like that I look at it.

[Christina]

However long it takes you, it doesn't matter. It's not a race. It's more like how do you make this. Purchase something that makes you feel happy to have spent that money and so excited that you did, rather than something that you regret later?

[Alyssa]

Yeah, that's really well said. Can you talk a little bit more about. You only realize that some things are on there when you've gone in to add something. So maybe we can talk a little bit more about when do you. When do you decide to take something off the list? Like if you've just not thought about it for a while or do you go in periodically and check your list or is it only when you're adding something to it or when you're about to shop or something?

[Christina]

Yeah, I find I. And I haven't added really much of anything to my wish list. Like I bought some workout gear that I thought was really cute. Like, that's what I bought most recently. Like, there's nothing really on my wish list now, but. Which is kind of cool. I was like, oh, I just feel like I'm, like, super stoked with everything that I own right now. And I'm like, yeah, maybe my wardrobe feels a little bit done right now, which is a nice kind of state to be in. Maybe we could talk about that more or something. I don't know. When do you know when you're done with your closet? But. Oh, how do I cross things off?

[Alyssa]

It was. Yeah. When do you take things off the list? If. Yeah, if you haven't purchased it, I.

[Christina]

Find I. I like to look back at what I've put on there, and if I'm just kind of like, what. Why is this on here? Like, what's my reaction to it? If I'm a little confused or, like, what do you mean? Where does this fit in? What was I thinking at the time? Then I'll kind. Then I'll cross it off. But then sometimes I'll go on there and be like, oh, yeah. And then it might reinvigorate this sense of wanting, you know, telling myself the story of, like, how this will fit in my wardrobe and how I like it and whatever. Um, and it's not necessarily a bad story that I'm telling myself. It's just like, that's, you know, that's how I envision this piece in my life. Then I might kind of start my plan up again to buy it. So it's fairly fluid, and it's just more of, like, an intuition. So I think it's just kind of a go with your gut. And, you know, if you. If you prefer to work on a timeline, like, let's say it's been on your wish list for a month and you haven't thought about it again, then maybe that's something that you can cross off. But that's really, like. It's more however you like. Whatever makes sense to you, I think, is the way to do it.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

I like how your point about. Well, yeah, I'm. I'm the same. Like, it's very intuitive. I usually feel like if I haven't thought about it between the times that I've opened up my list, then I'm just like, this shouldn't even be on here. I mean, although that kind of doesn't apply in the case of, for example, well, the bustier or the corset. I don't think about that piece often. So, like, by that logic, you would be like, oh, well, then you take it off your list. But I love bustiers, and those are a category where I know if I expanded it, I would have them for a long time and I would wear them forever and ever. And I also find I like having that reference on there because when I am shopping secondhand, I'm always. It's like the good little, like, reminder. Like, oh, hey, if we see a corset or a gustier, then keep an eye out.

[Christina]

Yeah. Or like, is this one. Yeah. Is this any. Like, is this one I found secondhand better than the one that's on my list? Like, you can kind of use it as a point of comparison too. Or. Yeah. Like, looking specifically for that item secondhand, which takes time as well. Right? So.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, exactly. So there's that. But I liked your point about. It's like, if it stands out on your list and you're like, what is this doing here? I also think this is an interesting opportunity for you to maybe question just your style, too. It's like, well, okay, like, if this piece isn't even really me, you know, you can kind of just take a minute to re recenter where you're at aesthetic wise, too, because it's like, oh, wait, why was I attracted to that? So that. That's an interesting point as well. What about Christina? Forgive me if I'm, like, pigeonholing you or. Or generalizing, but I feel like. Cause you're such a. You're so. You're driven and you're like, I feel like you get done. Are you the type of person who compulsively wants to cross things off your list? Because you're like, someone who gets done.

[Christina]

No, no, no.

[Alyssa]

Okay. You're okay with, like, letting it sit?

[Christina]

Yes.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Christina]

And I think it's because that's how I use. I like to use it as a tool, actually. Like, the one. The thing that kind of makes me. I. It makes me think of my style intentions for 2025. So I made a video and a couple of tiktoks on this on my YouTube channel, and one of my style intentions was to go out and shop in person. If I do want to shop, and if I. You know, if the thing that I. For me to go to a physical store to get it, then I would prefer to do that, which means that I need to plan. I need to be like, on Saturday, I want to go to this place and spend this amount of time here and make a day out of it. And I have not done that once. I Have not thought about doing that. I have not made the time to do that. So it just tells me like, how much do you need to be shopping anyways? And how bad do you want this thing? How like am I. I'm not willing up to give my time to go search for it or to. Or to create a like and. And not. And I don't want to make that sound like it's a burden to go search for it because I think shopping in its best form is. Is a leisure activity. It's something that you can do to enjoy your time. And it just makes me think of how much online shopping can be used as like an emotional crutch or as a way to fill our time because we don't want to go out. We don't want to like go out into the world and do it ourselves almost. That's just my. That's just kind of like what my tendency is. I know there's a lot of people that, you know, they love to do that. Like an ideal weekend is like to go out to the thrift and spend all day digging and stuff like that. So there's, you know, it's different personality types, but it's almost like I don't want to cross things off on my list right now because I'm not making that time to go and do that, you know.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, it's just not a priority for you right now.

[Christina]

Yeah, it's not. And I just feel very settled in my closet. Like I did a no buy last December. From December to January I did break it to get some running gear and I bought myself a birthday present. Not what I initially thought it was going to be, but what was it? Since then I bought myself some boots from the real real. Yeah, there was. I wanted a pair of Tibby boots initially and I was only going to buy them if they went on sale and they never did. So.

[Alyssa]

Nice.

[Christina]

Yeah. So I was like, okay, whatever case that I.

[Alyssa]

Sorry. So what were you going to say? So since that. Since you're no buy.

[Christina]

Yeah, since then. I kind of like was joking about it. I'm like, did my frontal lobe just develop like a second time? Like, I don't know. Post this. Second post this. No buy. And I've been doing no buys for years now. Like seven years now. And you know, and they're all. They've all been very different. Like some feel very natural and fine while others. I really had to work hard and be disciplined and. Or there was like always. There was often like this craving to like go on A big shopping spree after or there's always like a fear of like if I buy one thing then it's going to turn into this like rolling shopping gonna like open the.

[Alyssa]

Floodgates kind of thing.

[Christina]

That's right. So that's, you know, and that's, that's, that can be a struggle for a lot of people and I find I'd have to like really work hard against that and do a lot of like self binding and a lot of boundaries and stuff like that. But this time it just, it's like chill. Like I bought the workout gear that I wanted and I'm just feeling very happy and settled and I, I don't know if it's because my wardrobe feels quite like. Like I almost can't add any more to it because then it's just gonna start to feel really overwhelming or I'm just like wanting to play dress up with my own clothes. I'm like really craving. I think it's also because it's like we've had a crazy snowstorm here. We got like 50cm of snow and I'm just like I just want to wear my cute shoes and I don't need to buy any more cute shoes. I just want to wear my cute shoes and I want to wear my nice coats. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Yeah. So it's just, it's kind of nice to like not be wanting for anything. So I haven't really had to use my wish list that much this year yet. Yeah. Not to say that this is like, you know, and this is. It's kind of just like a state that I'm in right now. Like who knows. But that's why the wish list is there. It's like it's a tool to help you.

[Alyssa]

I think one other point that we could make is figure out if you are someone who prefers having a visual wish list, like an actual picture of the thing that you want. Because index has a really good option for that. Um. Cause then you can actually like mix it in with your wardrobe and you can make collages and stuff like that, which is helpful. Yeah, I've done both. But I honestly like my notes app and. Cause I like I can be so specific.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's whatever works for you. It's like I think just the act of physically writing it down somewhere. I think it even that short circuits the kind of mindless add to cart the mindless wanting or, or even I know a lot of people that say they like to add the actual thing they. To that shopping cart, and then they close it out. So you kind of do like a virtual shopping cart, and then you bail on it. For some people, I feel like that could create a lot of temptation. But for others, I think they like to see the total, like, how much they might be spending compared to what you're saving by not buying the thing. So, yeah, there's a lot of different techniques to use your wish list, but I think the key for it all is just to help you slow down and, like, really think about if you need that thing or not.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, I love that. That's great.

[Christina]

Slash, if you want that thing. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Alyssa]

That's just a helpful tool.

[Christina]

How do you know when you're ready to buy something off of your wish list?

[Alyssa]

Oh, that's a great question. It's like the opposite of how do we know when we're gonna take something off? Yeah, I guess it's like the same as the way I answered that quest or the way I mentioned, like, the. The. How necessary is it? Like, is it getting more urgent? So if it's getting more urgent, then I start to seriously think about it and actively searching. Because normally, like, the way I do it is I put something on my wish list, but it's very. I don't. I don't actively shop for the thing. It's more like if I have an opportunity, like, if I pass by a really good vintage store or if I'm in a vintage store, do it for work, then I'll, like, take a look around. But I think it's if the price is right, like, if I see it on sale or if it's. So again, it's. It's. How urgent is it? And then if. If there's a good price that, like.

[Christina]

That you're willing to pay.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, that I'm willing to pay. Yeah. And of course, if it's an item that I've. That I'm saving up for and I' hit that, I don't necessarily go out and buy it. Once I'm like, okay, I'm financially comfortable to make this purchase, I'll just. I'll still let it sit. Like, I don't like parting with my money. Like, if I don't have to, I won't, you know.

[Christina]

Yeah, yeah, no, totally. Yeah. I think that's actually smart to do because it kind of. Yeah. It makes you question. Like, do I. Okay, so I did it and I worked hard, and, you know, I reached my goal and I. I paid for it in full. And I had this on my mind the whole time. But at the. Once you get there, it's like, you know, do I still this? Do I? And I feel like, yeah, your mind can change all the time too. Because I think that's the kind of funny thing about goals. What do you do once you get there? Because I feel like you learned so much along the way in, in the system that you had to utilize to actually get to that goal. Because you had to. Because you practiced delayed gratification. And you, you know, like, you endured that. Like, you emotionally had to like sit there and be like, nope, I can't buy this yet. Like, that's a boundary to set. And that's kind of a little bit. That's difficult to do. Practicing delayed gratifications, like practicing saving, practicing perhaps cutting back or increasing your income to, to meet the savings goal. And sometimes that's kind of like the funny thing about goals. It's like, yeah, what, what do you do once you get there? Because you're almost like a different person by the time you do reach your goal because of all the things you had to do to reach it. So, yeah, kind of how like my Chanel bag turned into a dog fund.

[Alyssa]

You know, so, yeah, I think that's such a point. Like, I tend to approach things. It's funny that you even like mention goals. I don't, I don't tend to have solid goals, which is probably a very bad life practice. I don't know. But it's more about like the, in. It's more intuitive shopping, I guess, or just going through. Because I, as you said, the beauty in a lot of these things is just the, the day to day and the trying to function as a human from like a place of love and abundance. And I feel like if I've done that every day, then great, you know, so thanks. But it's, it is good to have goals. But yeah, oftentimes it's, it's. It's like that. And it's. You know what I also like, not because it puts so much pressure on this moment, which again, you know, but this is me. Maybe for other people. Like, you know, we always use Dominique Baker as an example. Like, she went in and she got her bag at the store and she had the whole experience. And for her that was like a really good, beautiful moment. And I think that should be celebrated and honored. But for me, I, maybe I've just always been let down because I put so much expectation and pressure on those moments. Now it's just when it happens, it happens.

[Christina]

You know. Right.

[Alyssa]

And then usually when it does happen, it's a thousand times better because you weren't, like, pinning all your hopes and dreams on this moment, like, when, again, like, I have to use the example, like, of the puzzle bag. Like, I was not.

[Christina]

Yes, I was thinking about that because that was something I. I know you wanted for years. And then years, when you texted us that you got that out, that was like the last thing I was expecting to hear from you. I was like, whoa. So, yeah. Yeah, it makes it more of an.

[Alyssa]

Adventure, you know, Stars aligned.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. So it's. I feel like it's definitely. It's definitely like that intuitive piece. And. And it, like, I don't know if this is a good example, but, like, we could also. Here's an example of something that was absolutely not on my list, but fell into the vintage category. Can I show you? I bought this dress yesterday at the market.

[Christina]

Oh, my God.

[Alyssa]

Ten Euro. Okay. And like, what's.

[Christina]

Make sure you're watching us on YouTube.

[Alyssa]

To see the dress. To see the dress. That's right. Yeah. The visual. I was walking through the market and it was so crowded and I was like this. Like, I don't need anything. Why even here? Like, it's beautiful to see vintage stuff. But I was just getting, like, I was like, I don't. Like, I'm so happy with my clothes. But then I was like, Alyssa, like, you're in Milan. Like, just enjoy the experience. Then, like, you don't have to look. Like, just look at the stalls and do that. Listen to all the wonderful people talking. So, okay. But then of course, I'm literally, I have to go to a friend's place for lunch, so I'm like, late now at this point. And of course, the last little banquette thing is like one of those tables where there's just clothes kind of piled. But it was very curated and there was a little, like 10 year old only sign. Hang on, I'm gonna get this dress.

[Christina]

Oh, my God.

[Alyssa]

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even believe it. I didn't even think it's brought for vintage, but. But it's secondhand. Okay, here it is.

[Christina]

Oh, wow.

[Alyssa]

It's for summer.

[Christina]

Oh, my God. It's cool. It's very retro.

[Alyssa]

I thought so too. Like, the collar's not oversized enough for it to be, like, super 70s, but. But that's the vibe.

[Christina]

Wow.

[Alyssa]

Isn't it great? And, like, it's got these great button details. So for those of you listening, it's a. I would Say like just shy of a full maxi dress. It is an oversized kind of eyelet cotton, but it's. It's the silhouette of a shirt or a shirt dress, but it's super, super tailored. It's got darts in the back. It. I didn't try it on. Okay. But it fits like. It was like a glove. So I'm.

[Christina]

Yeah, you could wear it open as a jacket too. Exactly. Buttons all the way down.

[Alyssa]

Yeah, all the way down, exactly. And there's.

[Christina]

I see that as like a bikini. Like a bikini cover. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

Well, the only thing is like, it's got, it's got a lining. And I was actually debating taking it to a seamstress, getting rid of the lining. Let's make it a little more sheer.

[Christina]

Number. Yeah.

[Alyssa]

You know what I mean? Like, see a little bit of skin.

[Christina]

Can we talk about this? Because, like, I don't. I didn't see that on your wish list. So, like.

[Alyssa]

No, exactly. It was.

[Christina]

What a rebel.

[Alyssa]

I went rogue.

[Christina]

Yeah.

[Alyssa]

So. Yeah. So this is like, I just, I think it's. It's kind of interesting. Even though we're supposed to be talking about a list, but that did fall into. It falls into my like vintage category, which is like really general, you know, And I already bought a little black dress, vintage as well. So I almost feel, I feel like maybe I should be held account now. Held to account. I don't think I need any more dresses.

[Christina]

It's like, I'm not.

[Alyssa]

Because then the reason why I was like, I actually took this one was because I remember last summer, Suzanne had sent me a really beautiful T shirt dress. And I have a silk dress that I bought in leche, also vintage, and I was wearing them non stop. I was like, oh my God, am I becoming like a dress person in summer?

[Christina]

Oh, because they're so easy.

[Alyssa]

So I don't know. So this, the price was right. It was €10 and it was just like a.

[Christina]

Hell yes.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Christina]

You're like, I want this. I'm here. Yeah. So I feel like that's kind of a point to talk about is like, what about when you're thrifting? Or what about when you had. You didn't have it in mind, but it's like I had to have.

[Alyssa]

Yeah.

[Christina]

You know, it's tough if you physically went out to go shopping, to go thrifting, to go to any market. It's kind of like I feel like you go in with the mindset of I might buy something today. And you know, when it just feels right when it's something that I resonate with, that feels exciting. The price is right. It's something that I'm willing to pay. Then it's just like, yeah, let it happen, you know?

[Alyssa]

Yeah. Because there's more times when I walk out of thrift and vintage stores empty handed.

[Christina]

Absolutely. Yeah, exactly. So I kind of like to go in with that expectation that I may or may not buy something and either one is okay if I feel good about it, you know. So. Yeah, and I think it's just nice to like, some. Some kind of tools I like to have in mind. Because like, for example, when I go thrifting, I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go straight for the leather jackets. How many more leather jackets do I really need? But I'm still gonna look at them, you know?

[Alyssa]

Totally. Totally.

[Christina]

But that's like kind of part of the shopping process too, is like, does this, is this something that I'm willing to make room for in my wardrobe? Is it something that I'm willing to add? Is it different enough that, you know I'm gonna get a different feeling, or is this serving a different purpose when I add this? You know, so it's just a matter I like to almost kind of like take a scan of my wardrobe or like, you know, you can use your index app and kind of just take a look and see what, what's in there. And you know, then you can also suss out if that thing will serve a different purpose, you know, for example, I. This kind of. Maybe I just am putting out this on my wish list right now. Like a crop moto jacket, like a, like a cool crop leather jacket that I can like belt and kind of wear like that in a crop. I think that would be kind of fun. That's not anything that I'm going to be actively shopping for, but let's say I'm out at the thrift and I see something, then that's. That might jog that, that, that gap. And it's like, okay, well, if it fits, if it smells good.

[Alyssa]

Right.

[Christina]

If it's in good, it's in good shape. If it's what I'm willing to pay, then it's like, yeah, okay. Letting it in. So I think you can be a little organic with it. Like the, the wish list is meant to be a tool. It's not like a hard and fast binary thing. Yeah. I think a little intuition is, is helpful and just. Yeah. Letting yourself do it organically too.

[Alyssa]

Yeah. It's funny, I was thinking about this the other day and I was thinking about also, like, where you're coming from in terms of your relationship to consumption and shopping in general. And I was thinking about it and I also feel like I'm in a time in my life where I'm trying to practice not crazy overindulgence and just going wild. But I realized that, like, I, I've always been super. Like, I keep myself on a very, very tight leash, like in all things. And post divorce, like, I just, I had a period where I was like, yeah, say yes to everything. Like, actually enjoy the thing. Like, eat the cake, do the thing. Like, just enjoy life. It's also kind of a nice feeling for me to be like, no, maybe you shouldn't enjoy this moment and maybe you should buy the thing because you deserve it, you know, so. But also I have to be careful where it's not like a full on landslide and be like, I deserve all the things.

[Christina]

Yes. Yeah, exactly. So that's where. Yeah. Reasoning. And I feel like it's very easy to lean into that, like, elation of the moment. And, you know, that's why you have one cookie and then you want another and another and another. Like it's so. But I think it's important. It's kind of like that thing, I think we talked about this before, where it's like, okay, I want a cookie, but I'm trying to be healthy. So I'm gonna have a date. A date. And then I'm gonna have an apple and then I'm gonna have this and this and this and this. And then I still had the cookie, you know, so just eat the cookie. Yeah, it's kind of like that all or none, right? Like where. I think that's where having like healthy habits and routines and things that you can fall back on really help prevent that kind of landslide. We're using like a working out analogy. It's like, okay, I'm going to have the cookie. But I know that this week, like, I'm going to go for a walk every day or I know that I'm working out this many times. So yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have the cookie. Because the routines that I have support me being able to do this and still reach my goals, you know?

[Alyssa]

Oh, I love that. I love that.

[Christina]

Yeah, that's beautiful.

[Alyssa]

Great. Well, I feel like we got into some really interesting conversations even about just goals and all of that. So hopefully it helps you all use your wish lists in a better way, manage them. And of course, do share down below, if you're watching on YouTube in the comments Always really cool to hear what the community is saying. Don't forget to tune in anywhere you listen to your podcasts. Follow rate the podcast if you haven't done that yet and join our YouTube community if you would like a monthly exclusive ask us Anything episode where you can ask us whatever you like and we won't edit out weird personal stories.

[Christina]

You get the personal stories. You get the personal stories.

[Alyssa]

So thank you so much for listening watching. We'll see you in the next one.

[Christina]

And oh, Cena says hi. She's. She's spending time with you. I know we miss her, but. All right, bye guys.

[Alyssa]

Bye everyone. Ciao. Ciao. Bye.

[Sina]

Thank you so much for joining in our conversation this week. If you're enjoying the show, we'd love it if you subscribe to the podcast on Spotify and Apple and leave us a rating and review. It's one of the best ways to support the Sustain this podcast at zero cost to you.

[Christina]

We're also a community led podcast, so if you have any questions for us, topic requests, or even guests you want to hear from, please send us a DM on Instagram @ Sustain this podcast. We read all of our comments and look forward to hearing from you.

[Alyssa]

We hope you join us again next Tuesday where we'll talk about so much more than clothes.

[Christina]

Ciao.