Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two

Summary

Table Read Podcast: "Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two" Summary

Introduction

In the gripping second act of "Pablo’s Rhino," listeners are plunged deeper into the chaotic misadventures of three hapless friends—Sam, Charlie, and Marcus—whose ill-fated trip to Colombia takes a deadly turn. This episode, released on April 22, 2025, masterfully blends live theatrical performance with cinematic soundscapes, immersing the audience in a high-stakes narrative filled with tension, dark humor, and unexpected twists.

Stranded in the Jungle

Act Two opens with Sam, Charlie, and Marcus grappling with the dire consequences of accidentally killing Pablo Escobar's prized rhino ([01:07]). The trio is now fugitives in the unforgiving Colombian jungle, desperately seeking a way out. The friends are immediately thrust into panic when they realize their guide, Ernie, has vanished. "Okay, we should get out of here. Ernie. Ernie. Ernie. Louise. Louise. Ernie, Ernie. Louise." ([01:47] Charlie)

The situation deteriorates rapidly as their truck is stolen, leaving them without transportation. Marcus tries to remain optimistic: "Look, no one saw what happened but us, right? Ernie's not gonna tell anyone they were his guns. I say we're in the clear." ([02:18] Marcus) However, Charlie is less forgiving, urging an immediate departure from the country: "Now we get the fuck out of this country. And I mean now." ([02:31] Charlie)

Desperate Escapes and Unforeseen Threats

Their attempt to flee leads them to a clearing where Martinez and Knowles—a pair of formidable antagonists—arrive to investigate the rhino's death. The tension escalates as three menacing figures emerge, inspecting the crime scene: "These fuckers may be the ones to flesh him out." ([02:52] Knowles)

Undeterred and exhausted, the trio manages to hire a ranchero to transport them to the resort town of Paraiso. Their struggle continues as they encounter a guard with fatal bullet holes, revealing the deadly seriousness of their predicament: "Some people take no pride in their work." ([03:48] Sam)

Upon reaching their villas, the friends find their accommodations ransacked. Marcus dismisses the damage with racial stereotypes, sparking tension and highlighting their increasing desperation: "They're foreign. Which makes it so much worse." ([04:19] Marcus)

Capturing and Incarceration

As night falls, the friends attempt to board a school bus to escape, only to be greeted by a bizarre mix of indigenous laborers and oppressive security. Sam's inappropriate behavior onboard causes friction: "You have a lovely cock. May I stroke it?" ([06:08] Sam) Leading to Charlie fiercely reprimanding him: "The hell's the matter with you?" ([06:18] Charlie)

Their uneasy journey takes a dark turn when they are pulled over by authorities. Miscommunication and escalating paranoia result in Charlie's arrest: "You'll be late for school." ([10:55] Marcus). Separated from his friends, Charlie finds himself in a brutal jail cell, where Marcus explains the gravity of their situation: "The cop thinks you shot Escobar's Rhino to send a message. They're calling you El Contador." ([11:29] Marcus)

DEA Pursuit and Collusion

Meanwhile, Sam leverages his charm to negotiate with a prison guard, leading to their eventual release under Lucia's guidance. However, their freedom is short-lived as DEA Agent Knowles and his partner Martinez are hot on their trail, intent on capturing them. Knowles strategizes their next move with determination: "There's a private strip running Cessnas not too far from here. If they're getting help, that's likely where they're heading." ([21:12] Knowles)

Climactic Confrontation with Escobar

The climax culminates at a secluded airstrip where Lucia and her partner, Victor, escort the friends towards a Cessna. Just as hope seems within reach, Pablo Escobar himself emerges, revealing that he is very much alive and intent on exacting vengeance for the rhino's death. "Pablo Escobar: Marcus, amigo. I find you at last." ([23:16] Escobar)

Captured and brought before Escobar, the friends face an ultimatum: replace the slain rhino or face gruesome consequences. Charlie attempts a desperate negotiation: "I'll replace your rhino. You have my word." ([29:11] Charlie), but Escobar remains unyielding: "You have two days to replace my rhino. If you succeed, I will consider letting you live." ([30:40] Lucia)

Dramatic Resolution and Cliffhanger

As the episode draws to a close, tension reaches its peak with Escobar's men threatening their lives: "You don't find El Diablo, Charlie. El Diablo finds you." ([31:04] Lucia). The friends are thrust into a perilous mission, setting the stage for the next installment of this high-octane narrative.

Notable Quotes

• Charlie: "Now we get the fuck out of this country. And I mean now." ([02:31])
• Marcus: "The cop thinks you shot Escobar's Rhino to send a message. They're calling you El Contador." ([11:29])
• Escobar: "Pablo Escobar: Marcus, amigo. I find you at last." ([23:16])
• Lucia: "You have two days to replace my rhino. If you succeed, I will consider letting you live." ([30:40])

Conclusion

"Act Two" of "Pablo’s Rhino" masterfully escalates the tension and stakes for Sam, Charlie, and Marcus, intertwining dark humor with high-stakes drama. The episode adeptly builds suspense through relentless pursuit and looming threats, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the resolution of the friends' harrowing predicament. With its dynamic cast of characters and immersive sound design, "Pablo’s Rhino – Act Two" stands out as a compelling installment in the "Table Read" podcast series, promising an electrifying continuation in future episodes.

Transcript

[Narrator]

Three clueless friends on a guy's trip to Colombia accidentally kill Pablo Escobar's beloved pet rhino, luring the notorious drug lord out of hiding after years of being presumed dead. Now the hunters become the hunted sfx of a creaking door slowly opening, then closing with a metallic clank. Heavy boots scuff across the floor, followed by a chair scraping as cartel guy sits down.

[Pablo Escobar]

Shape tranquilo, hombre. No te ponga nervioso. Okay, act one, amigo. Act one left us on edge, no? These poor huevones thinking they're on a relaxing little vacation and they go and shoot a damn we don't cerros. In the middle of the Colombian jungle.

[Narrator]

We hear the click of a gun being loaded. The victim whimpers.

[Pablo Escobar]

Then they realize, hay Dios. This isn't just any Reno. This is Palo Escobar's Reno. And Pablo. Rumor has it, not so dead after all. Let's listen and see if these idiotas can survive what comes next.

[Narrator]

Cartel guy spins the pistol's chamber and snaps it shut. Act two Exterior, Deep jungle. Day. Sam is still trying to process. Charlie's in shock, and Marcus Pace is trying to think it out.

[Marcus]

Okay, okay, calm down. Escobar has been dead for years. Supposedly.

[Charlie]

Supposedly. If the rumors are true and he really is still alive, who the fuck keeps a fucking rhinoceros in fucking Columbia?

[Marcus]

He hasn't been seen in 10 years. If anything, this rhino is probably proof that he is dead.

[Narrator]

The guys ponder the thought simultaneously looking around the jungle, noticing at last that Ernie has taken off.

[Charlie]

Okay, we should get out of here. Ernie. Ernie. Ernie. Louise. Louise. Ernie, Ernie. Louise.

[Narrator]

Marcus takes off running. Charlie is right behind him.

[Sam]

Guys, come on. I think if we just stay calm, we'll see that this is just.

[Narrator]

And Sam starts screaming for them to wait up.

[Charlie]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait up.

[Narrator]

Exterior. Jungle Road. Night. They reach the clearing. There's no sign of Louise or Ernie.

[Charlie]

Shit. They took the truck.

[Sam]

So we're stranded.

[Marcus]

Look, no one saw what happened but us, right? Ernie's not gonna tell anyone they were his guns. I say we're in the clear.

[Narrator]

Sam and Charlie look at one another. He may be right.

[Charlie]

So.

[Sam]

So now what?

[Charlie]

Now we get the fuck out of this country. And I mean now.

[Narrator]

Exterior, Deep jungle. Later. Knowles and Martinez pull up next to the dead rhino. Martinez hops out and checks the ear tag, displays it for. For Noles.

[Knowles]

Looks like these assholes came to send a message.

[Martinez]

And Rojas is making a play for the throne.

[Knowles]

One thing's for sure. If the rumors are true. And Escobar really has been hiding this whole time. These fuckers may be the ones to flesh him out.

[Narrator]

As Knowles and Martinez drive off into the jungle, three menacing looking men step out of the brush. The men scan the area, guns raised. One of them checks the bullet hole in the rhino. The two others cross themselves at the mere notion. Exterior country road. Day. An old ranchero on a burro klops along, lazily towing another, larger horse, upon which sits Marcus, Charlie and Sam. Covered in mud and twigs, exhausted, the ranchero brings the horse to a stop, points down a side road. They dismount and pay him a few bills. Exterior Front gates. Paraiso. Perdido. Later, the guys stroll past the guardhouse. The guard inside is hunched forward, eyes closed.

[Sam]

Some people take no pride in their work.

[Marcus]

Bet your ass heads are gonna roll when I take over the joint.

[Narrator]

Sam snaps a photo. They keep walking, oblivious that the guard has three bullet holes in his chest. Exterior Paraiso. Villas. Day. The guys reach their villas and find the doors are open. They rush in to inspect.

[Charlie]

Oh my God. We've been robbed.

[Narrator]

Charlie comes out a beat later, panicking.

[Marcus]

They got my passport.

[Charlie]

Yeah, mine too. You think it could have been the cleaning staff?

[Narrator]

Marcus shakes his head with disgust again.

[Marcus]

Racist.

[Charlie]

Okay, how is that racist? They had direct access.

[Marcus]

It's racist because they're foreign.

[Charlie]

No, no, no. They're not foreign, dipshit. We're in their country.

[Marcus]

Which makes it so much worse.

[Narrator]

Sam comes out writing on a postcard.

[Sam]

How do you say wish you were queer in Colombian?

[Charlie]

What'd they take from you?

[Narrator]

Sam lifts his shirt, reveals a bulging money belt.

[Sam]

Nada. All safely tucked away in my gun. Come prepared. Charlie helps avoid life's little mishaps.

[Narrator]

Marcus comes out with his bag slung over his shoulder and two handfuls of hotel toiletries.

[Marcus]

Okay, now we can go.

[Charlie]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. Has anybody else noticed how quiet it is around here?

[Narrator]

They all stop and look around the grounds. What few people remain, mostly waitstaff, are all lying face down permanently.

[Sam]

Hmm, must be siesta time.

[Narrator]

I'll check their watches. Perfectly plausible. They leave. Exterior Jungle road. Day. The guys walk backwards by the side of the road, bags in tow. They manage to flag down an old yellow school bus. It pulls over a few feet ahead of them. Marcus runs up first. The door swings open.

[Marcus]

See?

[Lucia]

Air Porto.

[Narrator]

The apathetic driver looks him up and down and waves them in. Exterior Steep mountain pass. Day. The bus spews a giant puff of blue diesel smoke as it careens precariously around the edge of a steep cliff. INTERIOR BUS DAY the bus is packed with sweaty indigenous laborers, old women fanning themselves and mothers with young children. Sam sits next to an old man in a straw cowboy hat. He's got a squirming rooster on his lap. Sam looks down at the rooster and back at the man.

[Sam]

You have a lovely cock. May I stroke it?

[Narrator]

The man smiles, clueless. As Sam pets his rooster. Charlie smacks him in the back of the head.

[Charlie]

The hell's the matter with you?

[Sam]

I can't help it. The stress triggers my sass.

[Narrator]

Marcus returns and takes a seat.

[Marcus]

He said we were close. Either that or he's taking us to the circus.

[Narrator]

They all turn at the sound of a batshit looking one eyed man slowly sharpening his machete, staring back at them.

[Charlie]

If we survive that long.

[Marcus]

Oh come on. Can we just take a minute to appreciate everything? Partying, tripping out with a local, shooting a rhino. I mean, if this doesn't get the.

[Narrator]

Old juices flowing, then nothing will.

[Charlie]

All right, I will admit it. Definitely creating some sparks. But you'll forgive me if I don't get too excited until we're back on home turf.

[Narrator]

The old woman seated next to Charlie gnaws on a dried chicken talon. She offers Charlie a nibble. You hear the gags?

[Sam]

Hey, we're slowing down.

[Marcus]

It's probably just making another pickup.

[Charlie]

Jesus, it's a roadblock. What if they're looking for us?

[Narrator]

Relax.

[Marcus]

We're just tourists on a way home from a weekend bender. Stay cool and try to blend in.

[Narrator]

The bus comes to a stop. The driver opens the door. A cop with an assault rifle steps on and gives a cursory glance at everyone on the bus. Marcus has on the farmer's straw hat pulled over his eyes. Sam has a shawl wrapped snugly around his head while Charlie gnaws on a chicken talon. The cop steps off the bus. The driver turns back to everyone to let them know what's going on in Spanish. Naturally, the guys don't understand any of this. People start getting off the bus to stretch their legs. Sam gets up to follow.

[Pablo Escobar]

Where are they going?

[Sam]

I have a shy bladder.

[Narrator]

Charlie and Marcus look at each other, left alone with the smiling machete man still sharpening his blade. EXTERIOR MOUNTAIN ROAD DAY Charlie and Marcus step out into the blinding sun. People mill about in front of the bus. Some sit fanning themselves. Fruit, flour and barbecue pork stands line the road. Sam stands in a long row of men peeing against a wall. He checks out what the other guys have to offer mildly impressed.

[Charlie]

Hmm.

[Narrator]

The accident. The collisions between an overturned jeep and a fruit truck. The driver of the fruit truck appears banged up but otherwise unharmed. There's fruit everywhere. Marcus curiously steps in for a closer look and instantly recognizes Ernie and Louise. Their bodies are riddled with bullet holes. Marcus freaks out at this and starts scanning the crowd. He turns to Charlie, who was at this moment dry heaving into a ditch.

[Charlie]

Oh, all that chicken claw is so not sitting well with me.

[Marcus]

Charlie, don't look. It's Ernie.

[Charlie]

Where? We're saved.

[Marcus]

Oh, not exactly.

[Narrator]

Marcus drags him over to try and get a closer look. Charlie gasps before spotting Lucia, the woman they met outside the airport.

[Charlie]

Oh my God. It's her. Who? The woman from outside the airport.

[Marcus]

Your dream girl.

[Charlie]

Well, I mean, she's not exactly my dream girl. I mean, she's definitely a dream girl, but I wouldn't go.

[Narrator]

They move in for a closer look, but she doesn't see them.

[Charlie]

Andos huenos. Shut up. What if she comes over?

[Narrator]

Lucia glances over at Marcus and for the first time they realize she's a cop. Lucia is too preoccupied to react. Charlie grabs Marcus and muffles him.

[Marcus]

Look at that.

[Narrator]

Classic.

[Marcus]

Your dream girl's a fucking cop, man. Do you have a type or what?

[Charlie]

Seriously? Well, maybe she can help us cuff.

[Marcus]

You and slam you to the ground. Chick a bow wow.

[Charlie]

Not as fun as it sounds. Trust me. Oh God.

[Narrator]

Charlie's looking queasy again.

[Marcus]

What's the matter?

[Narrator]

A police officer steps in and tries to push the crowd back. Charlie doubles over again.

[Charlie]

I don't know. I think I'm gonna be sick that.

[Marcus]

Other cops coming this way.

[Lucia]

Be cool.

[Narrator]

The police officer moves in and tries to push them back. He looks at Charlie, who won't move.

[Lucia]

Que de morre de la pasa.

[Narrator]

Charlie smiles and blows chunks all over the cop a beat. He looks up apologetically and tight to catch the butt of a rifle as it knocks him out. Interior POLICE STATION later over black Wake up, sweetie.

[Marcus]

You'll be late for school.

[Narrator]

Charlie's POV his eyes slowly adjust to the face of a toothless old drunk picking chunks of puke out of his hair. Charlie uprights to find he's in a jail cell packed in with miscreants, drunks and dirtbags.

[Charlie]

Oh please let this be the airport. Loun.

[Marcus]

Guess again.

[Narrator]

Charlie tries to sit up.

[Charlie]

Oh my head. Oh God. Oh God. What the hell happened?

[Marcus]

Before or after they removed your kidney?

[Narrator]

Charlie rips open his shirt and feels around.

[Charlie]

Oh God.

[Narrator]

Marcus laughs.

[Charlie]

That is so not funny.

[Marcus]

Well then you're not gonna find this funny either. Aside from puking on a cop and in the squad car and in the station, it seems we may have ignited a teeny tiny cartel war.

[Charlie]

What are you talking about?

[Marcus]

The cop thinks you shot Escapara's Rhino.

[Charlie]

What?

[Marcus]

The shot the shop? No, the cop. The cop thinks you shot Escobar's Rhino to send a message. They're calling you El Contador. Come to rack up body count.

[Charlie]

El Cantador? Where the hell would they get an idea like that?

[Marcus]

Well, they said, why else would Americans wear suits in the middle of a jungle? Who knew there was a dress code?

[Narrator]

Marcus gestures toward the other inmates cowering in the corner, keeping their distance from them.

[Marcus]

Good news is this makes you somewhat of a badass.

[Narrator]

Or a target.

[Marcus]

Same diff.

[Charlie]

Okay, we gotta get out of here.

[Sam]

No shit.

[Marcus]

Sam's working on it right now.

[Narrator]

Pan over. We see Sam chatting up a prison guard. He winks coquettishly and walks back to Marcus and Charlie.

[Sam]

Okay, Guapito over there said he might be able to pull a few strings for us in exchange for a little action.

[Marcus]

Oh fantastic. Seriously, bro, way to take one for the team.

[Sam]

Oh, well, he didn't mean me. Guapita prefers to watch. So make it good.

[Narrator]

Sam smiles deviously at one, then the other.

[Charlie]

Watch what? What are you talking about? Oh, with him. Oh no. No way. No. Oh no. Not gonna happen.

[Narrator]

Marcus, clues in.

[Charlie]

What?

[Marcus]

You're too good for me? Psh. You know, prize.

[Sam]

Relax. It's just a little kissing. Maybe some light petting.

[Charlie]

Newsflash, we are not gay.

[Sam]

Look around, honey. In here we're all a little Judy.

[Narrator]

They all look at the guard, who gestures suggestively with his tongue. Sam holds up a finger. Un momento.

[Sam]

Well, unless you'd rather wait until they auction you off in a cartel prison.

[Narrator]

Charlie weighs options. After a beat I'm thinking.

[Charlie]

Fine. Let's get this over with.

[Narrator]

Charlie and Marcus shut their eyes. Neither makes a move.

[Sam]

Oh come on boys. You're necking, not playing chicken. Now andalay.

[Narrator]

They both glance over at the guard who's watching closely. Marcus and Charlie slowly lean forward, as repulsed as if they were about to swallow a live cockroach. They knock heads, rub faces. Everything they can do not to touch lips.

[Sam]

That's it, Charlie. Get in there.

[Narrator]

Marcus tongue slowly pokes out through clenched lips. The guard and all the other prisoners are really enjoying this when a second guard comes in. You'll see ya. She smirks but doesn't stop them.

[Charlie]

Smells like puke.

[Sam]

That's it now gently probe your throat. Snake into his face. Vagina.

[Charlie]

No. Hell no. No, no. I can't do this.

[Abuela]

It's true. Prison really does change a man.

[Narrator]

Marcus looks up and sees Lucia. He shoves Charlie off him.

[Abuela]

Please don't stop on my account.

[Charlie]

And to sueno. You're here. No, no, no. See, that was. No, no, no. We were just.

[Narrator]

Sam and Guapito bust a guts. The guard unlocks the cell.

[Abuela]

My partner was the one you threw up on. He agreed to let you go, provided you. How did he put it? Get your puto madre culos the fuck out of Colombia.

[Charlie]

Oh my God. I don't know how to thank you.

[Abuela]

You can start by calling me Lucia. And don't thank me yet. It's not safe for you here. We received a tip that men are already on their way to collect the bounty on your heads.

[Marcus]

Why would someone put a bounty on us?

[Abuela]

You mean the three Americans who single handedly reignited the cartel wars?

[Charlie]

Oh, you heard about that.

[Abuela]

They're saying you went on a shooting spree at a resort.

[Charlie]

What?

[Lucia]

No.

[Charlie]

I never even fired a gun. Okay, once, but it was in self defense.

[Abuela]

Don't worry. You don't exactly strike me as gun toting badasses. Anyway, the longer you are here, the worse for everyone. So nos vamos.

[Narrator]

They all file out.

[Sam]

I really hope there's a gift shop at the airport. I got a ton of people expecting postcards.

[Narrator]

Lucia stops, considers this.

[Abuela]

No, he's right. Escobar's men will be searching the public terminals. We need to hide you.

[Charlie]

Okay, but where?

[Abuela]

I may have an idea.

[Narrator]

Prelap indigenous music rings out. Lucia's abuela's house Night Establishing. The sun sets over a modest cinder block house painted in bright colors. There's still rebar sticking out of the roof. A few chickens peck about the front yard next to a pot bellied pig. Lush gardens frame the house on either side. Interior Abuela's house Night. Marcus and Sam are clearing off the dinner table while Charlie is at the sink washing a few dishes. Lucia and her abuela grandmother sit at the dinner table.

[Abuela]

You're making me look bad, Charlie. Now, whenever I try to hide strange American men, Abuelita will expect them to do the dishes.

[Charlie]

It's the least we can do.

[Sam]

Please tell your grandmother she's a fabulous cook.

[Narrator]

Abuela looks up at Sam, smiles and nods.

[Abuela]

She says, you're welcome.

[Narrator]

Abuela calls Marcus over and pinches his cheek.

[Charlie]

Oh.

[Lucia]

What'd she say?

[Abuela]

She said you have a kind face. We get the point.

[Marcus]

Thank you.

[Narrator]

Abuela gestures for Lucia to hand her a box off the shelf. Inside there's a pipe with some coca leaves. The grandmother starts stuffing her pipe and lights it. She offers some to Marcus, who accepts out of politeness.

[Abuela]

I'd go easy on that stuff. It's not the bullshit they sell to touristas.

[Narrator]

Marcus coughs up a lot, tickles throat. Charlie is done with the dishes. Lucia grabs a bowl of food scraps from the counter.

[Abuela]

Care to meet your breakfast meat?

[Narrator]

EXTERIOR abuela's house TWILIGHT. Charlie and Lucia are silhouetted by the waning sunlight as they lean against the pig pen. Lucia feeds them slop.

[Abuela]

Has your family always lived here for generations, going back? Who knows? Long before the name Escobar ever meant anything to anyone. Before the unrest. If you ask my Abuela, she would tell you we spring from the earth itself.

[Charlie]

Well, it's very peaceful. I like it.

[Abuela]

Peaceful? No, but safe at least. My father grew up in Rio Negro, the same town as Escobar. Things used to be so beautiful here. Now it feels all that has been painted over by the same ugly brush.

[Narrator]

Charlie nudges her flirtatiously.

[Charlie]

Not everything.

[Narrator]

Lucia smiles.

[Charlie]

The pig is pretty cute.

[Narrator]

She playfully punches his arm. He turns and winces.

[Abuela]

My father was an optimist. No matter how bad things got. The war, the drugs, corruption. He always wished someday people could see Colombia for what it really was, for what it could be.

[Charlie]

Well, it's not too late, is it?

[Abuela]

Between the cartels and las guerrillas, they make it too easy to be part of the problem. Or worse, when people do nothing but sit back and cross their arms.

[Charlie]

I wish I had an ounce of power. I would help show people your beautiful country. I mean, despite everything, I kind of love it here.

[Narrator]

Lucia takes a long look at Charlie, trying to figure out if this is a line.

[Abuela]

I believe you.

[Narrator]

They draw closer, studying each other. Sam walks out, high as a kite.

[Sam]

It's getting pretty hot and heavy in there. Oh look, a pig.

[Charlie]

Hello?

[Narrator]

Lucia withdraws and goes back inside.

[Charlie]

Abuela, what are you doing?

[Abuela]

Get off of him.

[Lucia]

So what did I miss?

[Narrator]

Charlie smacks him in the shoulder.

[Charlie]

Don't you knock.

[Sam]

To go outside?

[Narrator]

CUT TO INTERIOR DEA APARTMENT DAY Martinez studies a pin up board of photos. Many Rojas is prominently identified at the top. His picture branches off into several low level captains and thugs. Martinez tacks up pictures of Charlie, Marcus and Sam to the wall, next to a photo of Manny Rojas. Agent Knowles enters, loading his pistol.

[Knowles]

Talk to my guy, he said they let three Americans go late last night. Get this one of them was the accountant.

[Charlie]

Whoa.

[Martinez]

For real, man, I thought that guy was a myth, you know, like a boogeyman for drug dealers.

[Knowles]

You saw the way he took down that rhino. Stone cold killer.

[Martinez]

Well, words out. Someone put a serious bounty on these assholes.

[Charlie]

Shit.

[Knowles]

You know what that means.

[Martinez]

This is our ticket, baby. Follow the rats. Find us some cheese.

[Narrator]

They fist bump. Knowles nods at the map on the wall.

[Knowles]

There's a private strip running Cessnas not too far from here. If they're getting help, that's likely where they're heading.

[Martinez]

I guess we better get there before the competition.

[Knowles]

You ready for this?

[Narrator]

Martinez smirks, grabs two shotguns from a cabinet and tosses one to Knowles. Martinez pumps his shotgun, thinks a beat.

[Martinez]

Can we stop for empanadas?

[Knowles]

Empanadas.

[Narrator]

Knowles pumps his shotgun.

[Lucia]

Fuck yeah.

[Narrator]

Exterior, private airstrip. Day. A police truck pulls up to an old Cessna passenger plane with Charlie, Sam, and Marcus in the back. Lucia rides up front with Victor, the cop Charlie puked on behind the wheel. They get out to open the door for the guys. Charlie has tape over his mouth. He screams when Victor peels it off.

[Charlie]

Ow. Damn. Was that really necessary?

[Abuela]

He just had the car detailed.

[Narrator]

Lucia nods to her partner. Victor begrudgingly uncuffs them.

[Sam]

Oh. Mind if I hold onto these?

[Narrator]

Marcus inspects the plane.

[Marcus]

This thing is a death trap. I love it.

[Charlie]

You know, you really didn't have to do any of this.

[Abuela]

We could always take you back to prison to play more kissy face.

[Charlie]

I think we'll take our chances on the death trap. Cute, by the way. In your dreams.

[Abuela]

If I had told you my name sooner, you might never have left.

[Charlie]

Well, now we'll never know.

[Narrator]

She's charmed by this. Lucia takes the keys from her partner and undoes Charlie's cuffs herself.

[Abuela]

Goodbye, Charlie Bleecker.

[Charlie]

Hasta luego. Usia de mi suenos.

[Narrator]

They share a brief moment. Marcus and Sam roll their eyes.

[Marcus]

Hate to break up this, whatever this is, but great to meet you. You're extremely hot. Charlie, get the fuck on the plane.

[Narrator]

The plane door opens. Out steps Manny Rojas, a gangster in a white pinstripe suit. Several of Manny's henchmen follow, cocking their guns. One puts a gun to Lucia's head. Victor puts his gun down.

[Pablo Escobar]

Marcus, amigo. I find you at last.

[Charlie]

Manny.

[Narrator]

Oh, thank God.

[Charlie]

Marcus. Who are your friends with the guns?

[Narrator]

No, no, no, no, no.

[Charlie]

This is cool.

[Marcus]

This is Manny. He's the guy I was telling you about.

[Abuela]

Wait, you know this man?

[Narrator]

Know him?

[Marcus]

He's my realtor, man.

[Charlie]

He's the one who flew us down.

[Marcus]

To check out the property.

[Abuela]

Maldito Deota.

[Pablo Escobar]

Yes, yes. Mark is my man. I hope you and your friends enjoyed my hospitality.

[Sam]

You have an excellent cold buffet.

[Narrator]

Sincerely.

[Pablo Escobar]

I am only sorry to inform you that your flight home has been canceled.

[Charlie]

Marcus, what is he talking about?

[Narrator]

One of the henchmen steps forward and puts a black bag over each of their heads. Manny walks up to Charlie.

[Pablo Escobar]

Ah, you must be the infamous Charlie Bleecker. El Contador. The honor is truly mine.

[Charlie]

Infamous? No, no, not infamous.

[Pablo Escobar]

To put things in terms you Americans are so fond of. Charlie. Welcome to the big leagues, amigo.

[Narrator]

Manny's voice trails off as Charlie loses consciousness.

[Pablo Escobar]

You've been traded.

[Narrator]

Cut to interior Finca Hideaway. Pablo's private study. Later. Charlie's vision slowly adjusts as he starts to come around. He sits up, still handcuffed. The room is decked out top to bottom in rhinoceros paraphernalia and tchotchkes, including a big velvet painting of a naked cigar chomping Pablo straddling the now deceased rhino over the mantle. Pablo pops his head into Charlie's field of vision. He's always smiling.

[Lucia]

There he is. The famous rhino killer.

[Charlie]

Where am I? Where's Marcus and Sam?

[Lucia]

So many questions. I know, I know. Am I going to kill you? How am I going to kill you? Will I eat your remains myself or force feed them to your loved ones while you watch?

[Charlie]

Oh, dear God.

[Lucia]

Where are my matters? We have not been formally introduced.

[Narrator]

Pablo covers his face like he's playing peek a boo.

[Lucia]

It's me. The feast of death. Pablo Escobar.

[Charlie]

Oh, you're supposed to be dead.

[Lucia]

I'm back.

[Charlie]

Oh, God.

[Lucia]

And don't think I don't know who you are. Charlie Blaker. El Contador. Oh, no, no, no.

[Charlie]

That's not me.

[Lucia]

Come on, don't be so modest. I have all your books. Much of the man I am today is because of your sage advice. Invest in yourself first, last, and always truly profound.

[Narrator]

Pablo walks over to Charlie and takes a knee, shakes his head.

[Lucia]

You are in a lot of trouble, Charlie. You killed my rhinoceros. One of only three white rhinos left in the entire world.

[Narrator]

Pablo Stans walks over to the rhino portrait.

[Lucia]

Years had been spent trying to save the species from the brink of extinction. Merciless poachers. Killing them for their horns.

[Charlie]

I swear, Mr. Escobar, it was in self defense. I had no choice.

[Lucia]

Hey, come on, Charlie. My father is Mr. Escobar. Call me Don. Pablo.

[Charlie]

Okay. Well, Don, you See, my friends and I, we were just hunting for jungle cows and.

[Narrator]

Pablo reaches out and squeezes Charlie's face affectionately. Charlie is silent and terrified.

[Lucia]

A rhinoceros is such a noble creature, wouldn't you agree?

[Narrator]

His face still squeezed?

[Charlie]

Absolutely.

[Lucia]

But so much more. It is a symbol of power and respect. Like the rhino. Men such as ourselves are a dying breed.

[Charlie]

Or, you know, maybe a living one.

[Lucia]

Really, I should thank you.

[Narrator]

That's his belly.

[Lucia]

Being in hiding for so long has made me soft. Kinder even.

[Charlie]

So, does this mean you're not going to kill me?

[Lucia]

Oh no, I'm definitely killing you.

[Narrator]

Pablo whistles. The double doors swing open. Marcus and Sam, still wearing hoods, get tossed in by a gargantuan thug. They stumble around like idiots, bumping into each other before the thug pushes them to their knees next to Charlie and removes their hoods.

[Charlie]

Marcus Sam.

[Narrator]

Charlie.

[Charlie]

We thought you were dead.

[Lucia]

Listo. Let us call quorum to our little meeting and get down to business.

[Narrator]

Pablo takes a cigar from his inside jacket pocket and snips the tip with a pair of gold plated shears. His henchman lights a cigar for him.

[Charlie]

Pablo, are you smoking again?

[Narrator]

Pablo reluctantly puts out the cigar. Charlie is confused.

[Lucia]

That is after all, why you came to my country, correct, Marcus? To do business.

[Narrator]

Marcus looks worried. Sam and Charlie both look at him. Well, I, I. Pablo catches the look on Sam and Charlie's face.

[Lucia]

You did not think he came just to invest in a resort, did you? No. Marcus would like to pursue a career in the lucrative field of money laundering.

[Charlie]

That's what this was all about? The resort was supposed to be a front.

[Marcus]

I swear I was going to tell you guys. Honestly, I never actually said I'd go through with it.

[Lucia]

In reality, you never had a choice. No matter your obligation to Manolo Rojas has been.

[Narrator]

The henchman brings Pablo a box and opens it for him to reveal the head of Manny Rojas.

[Lucia]

Taken care of. As for you three, I will need to get creative since you cannot all fit inside a conventional oven at the same time.

[Narrator]

Pablo turns to leave. The henchman steps forward, menacing.

[Charlie]

Wait.

[Narrator]

Pablo turns back.

[Lucia]

I'm sorry, Charlie. Did you have something to add?

[Charlie]

I'll replace your rhino.

[Narrator]

Pablo is intrigued. He motions for the henchman to hold off.

[Charlie]

Okay, let all of us go and I will get you a new rhinoceros. You have my word.

[Lucia]

Oh, I have your word. And if you don't?

[Charlie]

Then I guess you can kill me.

[Marcus]

Charlie, what the fuck are you doing?

[Lucia]

I was going to kill you anyway.

[Sam]

What else you got I don't hear.

[Pablo Escobar]

Any killing in there.

[Lucia]

I will kill him when I'm goddamn good.

[Narrator]

Already Pablo, Marcus and Sam are all surprised by this. There's an uncomfortable silence in the room.

[Lucia]

Sorry about that. Sometimes it's like I can't even take a piss.

[Charlie]

What was that? Nothing, my sweet.

[Narrator]

Back to Charlie.

[Lucia]

Sorry. Where were we? Oh yes, yes, yes, you inevitably gruesome death.

[Narrator]

Pablo snaps his fingers as he turns to leave again.

[Charlie]

I know that sound.

[Narrator]

Pablo stops.

[Lucia]

What sound is that?

[Charlie]

The sound of a ball busting wife who chips away at your self esteem till you're the shadow of the man you once were.

[Narrator]

Pablo sits down on the edge of his desk, agitated.

[Charlie]

Well, you better get on with it. Wouldn't want her to think you have a mind of your own, capable of making its own decisions.

[Narrator]

Marcus and Sam look over at Charlie. Pablo drums his fingers.

[Sam]

What the fuck are you doing?

[Charlie]

Fuck it.

[Lucia]

Okay. You have two days to replace my rhino. If you succeed, I will consider letting you live. Oh, and in case you had any thoughts of trying to escape the country.

[Narrator]

The henchman returns with Lucia bound and gagged. There's a pistol chair ahead.

[Charlie]

Lucia.

[Narrator]

The henchman pulls the trigger, but the gun isn't loaded.

[Lucia]

Two days. Charlie Bleecker. Happy hunting.

[Charlie]

Wait, wait. How. How do I find you?

[Lucia]

You don't find El Diablo, Charlie. El Diablo finds you.

[Narrator]

The black bag goes back over his head. End of act two.

[Charlie]

All right.

[Sam]

Yeah.

[Charlie]

Page 68.

[Sam]

When his henchman lights a cigar for him. I just want to try something.

[Lucia]

Whether we'll keep it or not is.

[Sam]

Where his wife yells out.