Podcast Summary: Take Out Therapy (Dec 12, 2025)

Episode: Better Self Care With Neuroscience Informed Therapy Skills; Help For Empathic High Achievers
Host: Rebecca Hunter, MSW

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the struggle empathic high achievers face when trying to truly rest and nurture themselves. Host and therapist Rebecca Hunter breaks down why traditional “just relax” advice doesn’t work for busy, sensitive people with active minds, and shares neuroscience-informed strategies for creating restorative rest, not just downtime filled with guilt or mental chaos. The tone is warm, relatable, and infused with therapist wisdom and everyday humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Empathic High Achievers Can’t Just Relax

• Many empathic high-achievers feel unable to unwind, even when they know they need to rest. Rebecca normalizes this as a brain and nervous system issue, not a personality flaw.
• Insight: Being unable to relax isn’t “brokenness”; it’s a result of habitual overworking of the mind.
  • Quote: “Oftentimes people blame themselves for not being able to relax. They actually think it's a personality trait...but that's not true at all. They're not broken. They have what they need in order to learn to relax.” (04:30)

2. Overactive Brains: The Neuroscience of Emotional Vigilance

• The brain’s default is to stay in “go mode,” scanning for emotional or environmental cues even during downtime.
  • Quote: “If you just try to go from doing thing to thing to thing, until like, ‘I'm just gonna take a little rest, I need time out.’ It doesn't work like that. The brain doesn't relax when it's in the mode of life.” (08:45)
• Emotional vigilance “steals” true recharge moments by keeping the mind busy and alert.

3. The Real-Life Consequences of Never Resting

• When people are stuck in chronic overthinking, even breaks become draining or guilt-ridden, leading to burnout, disconnection in relationships, and a diminished sense of presence.
• Rebecca’s own journey: She used to believe, “I am not someone who can sit still,” but learned to build restorative pauses into her day.
• Quote: “If I had not learned this skill in the midst of raising my kids, I’d be unhealthy, burned out, and completely disinterested in my life.” (07:41)

4. The Transition Ritual: The Neuroscience-Informed Self-Care Skill

• Key takeaway: The brain needs a transition between “doing” and “being.”
• Rebecca introduces a 3-minute transition ritual to bridge the gap between busy tasks and real relaxation.
  • Picture an “elevation scale” and slide gently from high alert to your ideal rest state.
  • Transition rituals could include:
    • Stepping outside to take deep breaths
    • Writing down repetitive thoughts (“Name it to tame it,” via Rick Hansen)
    • Saying aloud: “I’m going to take a timeout now”
    • Placing your phone away (or “bricking” it)
  • Quote: “It’s sending a message to your mind specifically—because it’s the troublesome party in the whole thing...you have to transition.” (10:45)
  • Notable tip: Declaring your break out loud, whether to yourself or someone else, boosts its effectiveness.
    • Example: “I will go find [my husband] and just say out loud, ‘Hey, I’m gonna meditate for 10 minutes. I’m just gonna have some quiet time in the bath for a while.’ I will tell him. And I’m saying it to myself, really.” (13:07)

5. Practice, Not Perfection: Real Rest Is a Skill

• The inability to rest is “a nervous system, brain-based problem,” not a lack of discipline or willpower.
• Tiny, intentional transitions add up to real presence and restoration over time.
• Prioritize these breaks as necessary to “insert yourself back into your life.”
  • Quote: “Rest doesn’t really work when the brain stays alert, which is why you have to get involved by making a small transition...You deserve real restoration, not a break that makes you mentally exhausted and thinking you’re not able to settle down.” (15:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It’s a busy machine, the brain, but the body actually needs to rest. But I know your mind refuses.” (05:45)
• “It’s very healthy to develop the ability to just sit down without being swallowed by mental noise, someone else’s needs, or constant distraction.” (07:02)
• “The lack of ability to sit still or to have a little rest is not a skill problem. It’s a nervous system, brain based problem.” (14:30)

Actionable Strategies & Tips

• Create a simple, intentional transition before rest.
• Use physical cues: deep breaths, stepping outdoors, writing thoughts down.
• Tell yourself (aloud): “I’m taking a rest.”
• Minimize distractions: place the phone across the room or use “the brick.”
• Allow rest to be a skill you practice, not something you’re “bad at.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Why rest is hard for high achievers: 02:00–05:45
• The neuroscience of chronic mental alertness: 05:45–09:45
• Transition rituals and practical steps: 09:45–14:30
• Real-life examples & reinforcing the practice: 13:07–15:45

Final Thoughts & Resources

Rebecca affirms: “You deserve real restoration, not a break that makes you mentally exhausted.” She recommends the Everyday Calm app (her own creation) as a tool for building these neuroscientific, daily practices into your life.

Find out more at takeouttherapy.com
Free class on overthinking available on her website.

Episode Tone: Empathic, validating, and practical—Rebecca’s voice is compassionate, direct, and gently humorous. Listeners walk away feeling seen, less alone, and equipped to make small but powerful changes in their self-care routines.