Summary5 min read

Take Out Therapy: Ditch Your Cell Phone Addiction To Get Rid Of Overthinking, Overwhelm and Burnout

Host: Rebecca Hunter, MSW
Episode Date: October 3, 2025

Overview of Main Theme

In this episode, Rebecca Hunter tackles the pervasive issue of cell phone overuse and its direct links to anxiety, overthinking, overwhelm, and burnout—especially in empathic high achievers. Blending her therapist insight with personal stories, she unpacks how our devices quietly sabotage our ability to be present, connected, and motivated, and then offers down-to-earth tools for reclaiming attention and well-being.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Naming the Elephant in the Room: The Cell Phone Habit

Phone Addiction as a Hidden Threat: Rebecca opens by emphasizing how excessive phone use erodes presence and real-world connection (01:45). She notes a widespread denial among people regarding their phone habits—"Cell phone use is totally out of control and most people are in complete denial." (03:25)
Symptom Explosion: Citing her therapy practice, Rebecca observes a spike in anxiety, depression, ADHD-like symptoms, and general malaise, closely tied to phone use (04:05).

2. The Mechanisms Behind the Addiction

Not Just a Phone—A Multipurpose Machine: The cell phone has become calendar, grocery list, health tracker, communication tool, and more. "We use this machine for so many things, and experts would argue that we use it for way too many things..." (05:40)
Social Media & Emotional Manipulation: Social apps are engineered for addiction, framing perspectives through emotional hooks. "Every social app is built to capture your attention for as long as possible." (06:20)
Empathic Cost: For sensitive, achievement-driven people, the phone amplifies feelings of inadequacy, feeds imposter syndrome, and worsens anxiety (07:12).

3. The Impact on Real Life Relationships

Erosion of In-Person Connection: Rebecca notes the shift in public and private spaces—people less engaged with each other, more immersed in their devices (02:30, 10:07).
Personal Experience:

“Honestly, I’m spending time with people who are just sitting on their cell phones. So I have to get off my cell phone so I can navigate this situation and model what it looks like...” (12:20)

4. The Reality Check: Self-Assessment and Accountability

Facing the Truth: Rebecca encourages listeners to acknowledge and honestly track their phone use. “How much time are you spending on your cell phone and what are your activities while you're on it? If your answer is ‘I don't really know,’ then that's a great place to begin.” (04:45)
No Magic Hack—Change Requires Discipline: There’s no one-step tip, only intentional action. “We have to be in relationship with ourselves, show up in our lives, and practice discipline.” (11:10)

5. Action-Oriented Tools & Strategies

Rebecca’s Tool: ‘The Brick’
- A magnetic device (and app) that locks you out of chosen phone apps for a set period—requires an intentional, physical act to unlock.
- Designed to create a buffer for your brain, asking: “Do you really want to get back on your phone now?” (13:35)
- Memorable quote:
  
  “My tool that I use is called The Brick... It forces an intentionality of getting your butt up and being like, ‘Oh, I really want to surf Facebook,’ and then you have to go to the brick and unbrick it.” (14:10)
Exposure Therapy—Just Do It:
- Ditch the phone, tolerate the discomfort, observe what comes up.
  
  "Practice exposure therapy. Do you know what exposure therapy is? It’s fancy words for just do it and see what happens to you. See what is needed. Right. You're gonna be squirmy." (16:10)
- Fill the gap with positive alternative activities: reading, walking, connecting with friends (17:00).
Make a Replacement List:
- Prepare a written list of life-giving activities for the moments you reach for your phone out of boredom or habit (17:20).

6. Reconnecting with Reality & Community

The Insulating Effect of Always-Online Life:
- “We're just becoming increasingly insulated by this online landscape that lives in the tiny box in our hand.” (18:00)
The Human Need for In-Person Connection:
- Encourages returning to “reality where people are actually kind” and the “community in the world is generally pretty safe.” (19:15)
The 80/20 Rule for Focus:
- Invest 80% of your energy in your immediate life, 20% on broader world concerns for better mental health balance.
- “An 80, 20 split is what I see as a therapist brings people back into a healthy balance...” (20:19)

7. Therapist Transparency & Shared Humanity

Rebecca’s Ongoing Cell Phone Project: She commits to updating listeners about her own efforts to limit phone use, stressing “therapists aren't perfect—just real people with a ton of information and some pretty good strategies.” (22:22)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Phone Denial:

“Cell phone use is totally out of control and most people are in complete denial.” (03:25)
On Social Media’s Design:

“Every social app is built to capture your attention for as long as possible. It's made to frame your point of view in one way or another, mostly through emotional manipulation and frankly, keep you hooked.” (06:20)
On Self-Discipline:

“There’s no magic technique or tip. It’s about discipline. We have to be in relationship with ourselves, show up in our lives, and practice discipline.” (11:10)
On Exposure Therapy:

“It’s fancy words for just do it and see what happens... You’re going to be squirmy. You’ll need replacement activities.” (16:10)
On Presence:

“Being present in life helps us remember who we are and what we have.” (21:30)

Timestamps for Important Segments

01:45 — The habit quietly eroding our presence and well-being
04:05 — Rise in mental health symptoms linked to phone use
06:20 — How social media is engineered for addiction (and its impact on empaths and achievers)
10:07 — Disconnection in daily life and relationships
11:10 — The necessity of discipline for real change
13:35 — Rebecca introduces “The Brick” device
16:10 — How to use exposure therapy to mitigate phone addiction
17:20 — Creating and using a written replacement list for phone time
18:00 — The impact of the online landscape on real-world engagement
20:19 — The 80/20 rule for healthy focus
21:30 — The power of presence and remembering yourself
22:22 — Therapist transparency: personal struggles and commitment to change

Conclusion

Rebecca Hunter’s candid, compassionate approach makes this episode feel like a supportive intervention from a knowledgeable friend. She deconstructs cell phone addiction from both a scientific and personal lens, offering concrete strategies—such as “The Brick,” replacement lists, exposure therapy, and mindful focus—to help listeners reconnect with their lives, reduce overthinking, and regain emotional balance. Her invitation is simple: step back from the screen, reclaim your reality, and rediscover presence and authentic connection.

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Transcript1 lines

[00:00]
A
In this episode, you'll discover the habit that is quietly eroding, your ability to be present, your connectedness and your motivation. And of course, I'll help you kick it to the curb. Welcome to Takeout Therapy, the podcast for empathic high achievers who are done with overworking, overthinking and overwhelm. I'm Reveca Hunter, an anxiety expert and a therapist helping busy, big hearted people like you learn practical skills to quiet your racing mind, overcome self doubt and actually be your life. If that sounds good to you, you're in the right place. Visit me at takeouttherapy.com anytime. Thanks for listening. Let's get to work. Well hello there friend. I'm so glad you're tuning in for today's episode. My goal today is to help you take better care of your mental health. That's my entire goal when it comes to this podcast project. What I try to do is raise awareness about the common problems that a lot of humans share and the skills that you can use to fix those problems. I've learned these things from 20 years of therapist training and thousands of hours of client time over the years. And today I'm naming the elephant in the room. My friend, your phone. Have you noticed what is happening? Or maybe you're caught up in it too. When you go into a public place, look around the airport, bookstore, coffee shop, restaurant and notice that people are interacting less and less with each other. Maybe it's happening in your own home. I know it is in mine. People are involved in a whole other world, one that lives in a box with a screen. The cell phone use is totally out of control and most people are in complete denial. Consults are coming in hot this week and when I ask the hard questions about cell phone use, I instantly hear and see a shift in people. People are experiencing increased rates of anxiety, depression, ADHD symptoms, and an interesting myriad of other maladies. But no one wants to put their phones down. And as a therapist, what I think is that until a person is willing to to put their phone away for a while, they will not know much about the condition of their mental health. There should be no diagnosis, treatment plan or medication track until we remove the phone because it's covering up or causing whatever's going on. So I'll ask you this. Take a moment to be honest. How much time are you spending on your cell phone and what are your activities while you're on it? If your answer is I don't really know, then that's a great place to begin. But most people readily admit that the phone is not just a phone. It's a device that's a tool and it's being used for many, many hours every day. It's a calendar, a grocery list, a health tracker, a meditation app, a workout plan, and communication with our friends and family. It's a way to keep up with what's happening in the world and in our communities. We use this machine for so many things, and experts would argue that we use it for way too many things and that there are some things causing way more problems than others. And so, without going down the social media hellhole, I will say that every social app is built to capture your attention for as long as possible. It's made to frame your point of view in one way or another, mostly through emotional manipulation and frankly, keep you hooked. Any apps that you have on your phone where you're scrolling for the content are well designed addiction machines. If you're an empathic person, which I know a lot of my listeners are, you're picking a bunch of stuff up from that machine and all those apps that you have no idea what you're picking up. Fear, worry, hatred, division, boredom, a lack of feeling successful, imposter syndrome, etc. Etc. Etc. If you're a high achieving person, a driven, motivated person, the Internet is convincing you that you are never enough. You should be doing more, behaving and achieving better than what you are currently at. It's never ending. If you already have a touch of anxiety, the device and everything on it is made to hook you in and exacerbate your need to numb and avoid. Boy, I got on that soapbox, didn't I? But can you argue with me? When you look at the machine and the amount of time you spend on it and what you're doing there and how those activities make you feel, you might realize a few things that you didn't realize before. So I don't know. Today I just wanted to name the elephant in the room and give you some ideas about how to turn the Titanic around and just know if you've been listening for any length of time. I'm a real person and I struggle with all the same crap and baggage that you do. I just happen to know more about neuroscience and human development and all of our idiosyncrasies, or should I say problems, Because I've spent thousands of hours and lots of time and trainings to learn about this stuff. So I don't come from a place of like, you, you, you. Let's clean it up, friend, because I Don't know about you, but I feel the space of disconnection, and I don't like it. It's not what I'm going for in my life. So if you're relating to me at all today and you're saying to yourself, rebecca, you're right. I've got a problem and I'm looking to fix it. Here's what I will say, and more importantly, here's what I'll be doing, because there's no magic technique or tip. It's about discipline. We have to be in relationship with ourselves, show up in our lives, and practice discipline. Take action. There are no hacks to get action and change going in your life without just doing something different in order to make change of any kind. Whether you're going to use your cell phone less or watch less TV or play less video games, you have to see that it will improve your life and be willing to just experiment with switching things up. I use a tool, and I'm going to be radically using this tool over the next few weeks, and I'll update you later on and let you know how my battle over the cell phone is going. My kids have come home, and I'm noticing some overuse there, too. Early 20s? Yeah. I had all these ideas about how we were going to be spending time together, and honestly, I'm spending time with people who are just sitting on their cell phones. So I have to get off my cell phone so I can navigate this situation and model what it looks like to, you know, just take a step back, say what's happening, and regroup a little bit. Okay. So my tool that I use is called the brick, and it's a funny little thing. So the brick is basically this little magnetic square thing that I keep on my refrigerator, and it has an app. And when you touch the app, you're basically telling the app to lock you out of whatever apps you're not wanting to use for that period of time. And then you click it on this physical machine, and you can't unlock it without coming back to the physical machine, which basically, in neuroscience, you're delaying something in order for a thought to come in that is like, do you really want to get back on your phone now? Do you really want to unlock those apps? It forces an intentionality of getting your butt up and being like, oh, I really want to serve Facebook. And then you have to go to the brick and unbrick it. So that's my tool that I'm using, and they should totally make me an affiliate. Right. Could you Send them an email. There's so many tools and apps and all kinds of things out there at our disposal to help us with this emerging worsening issue, and yet we're still looking for the trick and the tip and the hack, aren't we? What I would say is practice exposure therapy. Do you know what exposure therapy is? It's fancy words for just do it and see what happens to you. See what is needed. Right. You're gonna be squirmy. You'll need replacement activities. I don't recommend filling in the gap with copious drinking or smoking weed. I recommend going back to the basics. You know, all that stuff you keep saying you want to do. Yeah, me too. Right? Make a list of all of those things so that when you take action and put your phone down, you can go back to a written list when you get kind of squirmy and out of things to do. And remember yourself. Remember the activities that you want to involve yourself with. Remember all those books you want to read and those walks you want to take and those friends you keep saying you want to go out and meet. Just take to the list, use it as a resource and get your life going in a bit of a different direction. That's my goal. You know, we're just becoming increasingly insulated by this online landscape that lives in the tiny box in our hand. It's interesting because I have to be daring here and say that I think a lot of people are just out of touch with the reality of everyday life out there in their communities. We're human beings. We're built to connect deeply in person. There's so many ways to do that online. Are you doing it in person? Come on back, friend. You and me, we're going to re enter reality where people are actually really kind. Your community in the world is generally pretty safe, and you get to choose where to place your focus. And I'm not saying ignore what's going on in the world. Here's how I look at it. I always recommend spending 80% of your time and your emotional and mental energy inside of the life that you've created for yourself. And maybe like 20% involving yourself with things that are outside of your life. If you're privileged enough to be able to take care of yourself in this way, take care of your mental health. An 80, 20 split is what I see as a therapist, brings people back into a healthy balance because I think. I think sometimes people get really, really wrapped up in what's going on outside of their lives and. And they lose touch with what they have built, you know, and so there's so much to do outside of our lives. Helping, volunteering, being an activist, being an educator, getting involved in some way, that's helpful, right? But there are lots of ways to do that in our lives, too. The world right now is as it has always been, and we will continue to repeat cycles as we're seeing right before our eyes. And what I would say is being present in life helps us remember who we are and what we have. So I'll update you about how my cell phone project is coming along and how you let me know the same if you want some help along the way. This is what I help people with, which is, I know, kind of funny and ironic that I help people with problems that I myself struggle with and have for many years. Therapists aren't perfect. We're just real people with a ton of information and some pretty good strategies. Try these strategies and see what happens. Thanks so much for spending your time with me today. I really appreciate you being here and doing this work. Stay tuned for new episodes most Mondays and Fridays. This podcast is designed to help you thrive. But just remember, while Takeout Therapy is a great educational resource, get the level of support that you need for your situation. Head to takeouttherapy.com to check out my resources and find out how to work with me. Until next time, take really good care of yourself, friend.