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In today's mini session, I am going to blow your mind by flipping the script on a very popular narrative that we have about life that gets us pretty much nowhere. Welcome to today's Takeout Therapy mini session. I'm Rebecca Hunter, here to bring you a short therapy informed insight for your week with mindfulness, self compassion, and for sure, a little less overthinking. These short episodes are for busy empaths ready to feel more grounded and navigate life with with way less chaos. You can always find more tools anytime@takeouttherapy.com. well, hello there, friend. Today I come to you with the simplest message ever that I think will help you out a lot. I'm Rebecca Hunter and I help empathic high achievers to slow down, stop overthinking, stop overworking, and learn how to live a peaceful and aligned, resonant life. Life. Here's what I want to tell you today. We like to think we're in charge of life. Just follow the script, right? We move from down here to up here, and the way we do that is to do this and then do that and then achieve more. And that's what life is. And then you're good to go. That creates stability. It's predictability. It's all the things, right, that we're supposed to want in our lives. I've been a nomad my whole life. I went to nine schools in 12 years. I can't say that that was a great thing, but I will say that having the privilege of so many different experiences in my life and relationships, wherever I went, I know that change is possible and it's actually a little bit easier than we think it is. But what I see from my clients and our culture is that we're supposed to do all these things and we need to do them in order so that life looks like it's supposed to look. And you're not always in charge of that. So it's fine if you were taught to go to school and be a good student and get into college and then get a good job and of course, find a partner and buy a minivan and have some kids and then like, you'll be set, buy a house, you'll be happy. But the fact of the matter is that A, life doesn't always work out that way and B, maybe it's not supposed to. And maybe those things aren't going to make you as happy as you thought they would. So my message today is that sometimes it's really okay to, to just change your perspective and look at life differently like, it's an adventure. We're ants on a log, friend, and we can move logs. At this point in time, you're free to move about. You're free to change jobs. You're free to quit jobs. You're free to move towns and houses and quit friends. You're free to adjust your relationships in whatever way way works for you. Those are all decisions that you make in your life. And then there's this whole other element that's like 80% of things, and that is that you aren't in charge of anything. That sometimes you think you're going right, but life is pushing you left and you're resistant and you're like, no, this can't be. I'm supposed to love this job. This is what I went to school school for. I've lived here forever. This is where all my friends are. How could I be so unhappy? How could I feel the need for change? That's the 80%. That's life, being in charge for you. Notice I didn't say of you because I'm not talking about some situation in which things are really bad and you have no control, just merely saying, perhaps you give yourself a little too much credit on this path you're on. And perhaps it might be helpful if you let life in a little bit and let life guide you. Which means you're not always going to get the answer that you want. It means that you're not going to move in the direction that you thought you were going to. And that, my friend, is the adventure of life. I always use this analogy of like the kayak on the river. And the river sometimes is very smooth, right? And the kayaker doesn't really do need to do much except for just enjoy and be at peace. But then sometimes there's rapids, right? And there's nothing the kayaker can really do about the rapids except for to row through them. To just like navigate. Be like, okay, well, I got this great job and it was a great job and I really liked it. And then my company sold to somebody else and now I'm miserable. Not how I planned things. This is a rapid. Does it mean it's not true? Does it mean there's something wrong with you for wanting something better and something different? Absolutely not. Not so trust life sometimes trust that the rapids are moving you along in the right direction, that you might not even know what that direction is because it's not always in your control. I just think that's life. It's part of the journey of being human, being on the Earth, we tend to think we're really important, but, like, you know, if you kind of look at it from a distance or perhaps an airplane, we're not that important. And all these markers of success and happiness and fulfillment, they don't mean anything unless they're true for you. So hopefully this will help you if you're sort of casting about right now and being like, what the. What is going on in my life? Oh, friend, that's just life lending you a helpful hand so that you end up exactly in the place that is meant for you. I hope this helps today. I'll see you again soon. Okay, that's your mini session for today. Practice this tiny little perspective shift this week and see how it changes things for you. And as always, I'll see you for the full episode on Friday. And remember, you can always find me and more support@takeouttherapy.com have you taken my recently revamped class on how to stop overthinking? That's a good place to start. You can find it for free on my website. Until I see you again, be really kind to yourself, friend.
Podcast Summary: "Take Out Therapy" Episode - How to Let Go of Control for Less Overthinking, Overwhelm and a More Peaceful Life
Host: Rebecca Hunter, MSW
Release Date: July 21, 2025
Episode Title: How to Let Go of Control for Less Overthinking, Overwhelm and a More Peaceful Life
Rebecca Hunter, a licensed clinical social worker and host of the Take Out Therapy podcast, delves into the pervasive issue of overthinking and the relentless pursuit of control that often leads to stress and overwhelm, especially among empathic high achievers. In this episode, titled "How to Let Go of Control for Less Overthinking, Overwhelm and a More Peaceful Life," Rebecca offers insightful perspectives and practical advice to help listeners navigate life's unpredictabilities with greater ease and peace.
Rebecca opens the episode by challenging the conventional narrative that life follows a strict, linear path—go to school, get a job, achieve more, and attain stability. She posits that this rigid script can lead to undue stress when reality doesn't align with these societal expectations.
"We like to think we're in charge of life. Just follow the script, right? We move from down here to up here, and the way we do that is to do this and then do that and then achieve more." [00:00]
The core of Rebecca's message revolves around the illusion of control. She emphasizes that while it's natural to desire stability and predictability, life is inherently unpredictable. Clinging too tightly to control can lead to increased anxiety and hinder one's ability to adapt to unexpected changes.
"And perhaps it might be helpful if you let life in a little bit and let life guide you. Which means you're not always going to get the answer that you want." [04:15]
Rebecca encourages listeners to view life as an adventure rather than a meticulously planned journey. By adopting this mindset, individuals can become more resilient and open to the myriad possibilities that life presents.
"Maybe it's okay to, to just change your perspective and look at life differently like, it's an adventure." [03:20]
One of the standout moments of the episode is Rebecca's analogy comparing life to kayaking on a river. She illustrates that while smooth waters represent predictable times where one can relax, rapids symbolize the unforeseen challenges that require navigation rather than resistance.
"I always use this analogy of like the kayak on the river. And the river sometimes is very smooth, right? And the kayaker doesn't really do need to do much except for just enjoy and be at peace. But then sometimes there's rapids, right? And there's nothing the kayaker can really do about the rapids except for to row through them." [05:00]
This analogy serves to reassure listeners that encountering obstacles is a natural part of life's journey and that these challenges can lead to personal growth and direction.
Rebecca challenges the traditional markers of success—such as career achievements, material possessions, and societal expectations—and posits that true happiness and fulfillment are subjective and unique to each individual. She urges listeners to redefine what success means to them personally.
"All these markers of success and happiness and fulfillment, they don't mean anything unless they're true for you." [06:00]
A significant portion of the episode focuses on the importance of relinquishing control and allowing life to unfold organically. Rebecca suggests that by doing so, individuals can alleviate the pressure of always having to be in charge and instead embrace the natural flow of life.
"Perhaps you give yourself a little too much credit on this path you're on. And perhaps it might be helpful if you let life in a little bit and let life guide you." [04:30]
Rebecca concludes the episode by offering practical advice for implementing these insights:
"Practice this tiny little perspective shift this week and see how it changes things for you." [06:00]
In wrapping up, Rebecca reiterates the importance of being kind to oneself and embracing the unpredictability of life as part of the human experience. She reassures listeners that letting go of control can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
"Until I see you again, be really kind to yourself, friend." [06:00]
Additional Resources:
This episode serves as a valuable guide for high achievers and empathic individuals seeking to reduce overthinking and overwhelm by letting go of the need for excessive control. Through relatable analogies and compassionate advice, Rebecca Hunter provides listeners with the tools to navigate life's unpredictabilities with grace and resilience.