Podcast Summary: "How To Practice Self-Compassion When Things Get Off Track; A Therapy Tool for Hard Times"

Podcast: Take Out Therapy: End Overthinking & Overwhelm for Empathic High Achievers
Host: Rebecca Hunter, MSW
Date: September 23, 2025
Episode Type: Mini Session

Brief Overview

In this mini episode, Rebecca Hunter addresses the challenge of self-doubt and self-criticism when life doesn’t go as planned. Drawing on her experience as a therapist and coach, she offers a practical tool for cultivating self-compassion during difficult times, specifically designed for busy, empathic high-achievers who struggle with overthinking and perfectionism.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Being Off Track

Host’s Personal Example: Rebecca candidly shares her own experience of falling ill after traveling, missing her normal schedule, and battling the resulting self-doubt.
- “After traveling I always get sick. So on Monday, as I'm laying in my bed, head cold, running wild, of course the self doubt kicks in.” (01:00)
Core Message: Life is unpredictable, and even with the best intentions, things can fall apart. This is normal—especially for high achievers.

2. Self-Criticism vs. Self-Compassion

Inner Critic's Voice: Rebecca describes the familiar self-critical thoughts that arise when expectations aren't met:
- “All those thoughts of I should be doing this differently or better or more consistently or I don't have any business doing this certain thing right. I don't have the skills, I don't have the know how.” (02:05)
Impact: These thoughts only add “unnecessary stress and shame to an already complicated story of life,” making things harder, not easier. (02:30)

3. Practical Self-Compassion Tool

Step 1: Notice and Pause
- Rebecca suggests the first step is simply to observe the self-critical voice, pausing to reflect.
  - “All you really have to do is just notice that's what's happening. And pause.” (03:18)
Step 2: Name Reality Objectively
- Name the real circumstances without judgment.
  - “Yeah, I'm off schedule. Yes, I'm sick. I need rest. Things aren't working out like I thought they would.” (03:32)
Step 3: Validate Yourself
- Acknowledge and validate your emotions.
  - “It makes sense that I feel stressed out. Of course I’m a little anxious that I'm off path. It doesn't mean I am fake.” (03:50)
Step 4: Show Kindness
- Hold yourself in “unconditional positive regard”—a therapy term Rebecca introduces, meaning the extension of kindness without conditions.
  - “If you're having self critical thoughts, take the opportunity to just be kind to yourself, to hold yourself in high regard, right? Unconditional positive regard.” (04:20)

4. The Importance of Gentle Self-Relationship

Perfection vs. Progress: Rebecca emphasizes it’s not about getting everything right, but about sustaining mental health through a loving, flexible relationship with oneself.
- “It's not about perfection or doing things right… when things don't go as planned, you have an opportunity to be in a nice relationship with yourself right there.” (05:24)
Consistency is Key: Just like any practice, being kind to yourself gets easier as you do it more often.
- “It's a practice that if you practice it, you'll get better at it. Just remember it's a rhythm of practicing being kind to yourself.” (05:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On permission to be imperfect:
“Giving yourself permission to be imperfect is better. Mental health in action.” (00:04)
On self-critical thoughts:
“All these thoughts that are pretty much at war with ourselves add unnecessary stress and shame to an already complicated story of life.” (02:25)
On validation:
“To validate yourself is to acknowledge whatever's happening for you and to let yourself know that it's perfectly okay.” (03:58)
Therapy wisdom:
“Unconditional positive regard. That's an expression we use a lot in therapy. And all it means is that everybody has the opportunity to experience kindness.” (04:24)
On imperfection:
“Imperfection’s not a failure.” (05:18)

Important Timestamps

00:04 – Introduction & purpose: permission to be imperfect
01:00 – Personal story: missing schedule due to illness & self-doubt
02:05 – Voice of the inner critic described
03:18 – The practical self-compassion tool: notice & pause
04:20 – Explanation of unconditional positive regard
05:18 – Final reminder: imperfection is not failure
05:45 – Closing encouragement to practice self-kindness

Recap & Call to Action

Rebecca leaves listeners with a simple challenge: next time your inner critic appears, pause and extend kindness to yourself instead. Remember, imperfection is not a failure, and developing a loving relationship with yourself is essential for true mental health.

“There is always a place for self-kindness, imperfection’s not a failure.” (05:18)

For more support, visit takeouttherapy.com and tune in for the full episode on Friday.

Tone: Warm, relatable, supportive—like practical encouragement from a wise friend.
Podcast’s trademark: Short, deep, actionable, and therapy-informed advice for people who care deeply, think hard, and want to thrive amidst life’s messiness.

Transcript

A (0:00)

In this episode you'll discover why giving yourself permission to be imperfect is better. Mental health in action. Welcome to today's mini session. I'm Rebecca Hunter, a seasoned therapist and coach, here to bring you a short therapy informed insight for your week with mindfulness and self compassion and maybe even way less overthinking. These quick episodes are for busy, big hearted people ready to feel more grounded and navigate life with way less chaos. Find more tools anytime@takeouttherapy.com well hello there friend. I'm so happy you stopped in for this mini session today. In this episode I'm going to talk about why self doubt shows up when things don't go as planned and how to regroup with kindness instead of criticism. You know, usually I put out my mini session on Mondays, but you may have noticed I didn't because of course after traveling I always get sick. So on Monday, as I'm laying in my bed, head cold, running wild, of course the self doubt kicks in. I almost didn't release a mini episode this week at all. But I'm feeling better and I remembered this is my project. I get to follow any rhythm and any rules that I want to. And it's okay to be off schedule sometimes. Today I just wanted to make this episode to remind you to approach yourself with kindness. Because I know when things get off track in life, self criticism is the first thing to show up. All those thoughts of I should be doing this differently or better or more consistently or I don't have any business doing this certain thing right. I don't have the skills, I don't have the know how. All these thoughts that are pretty much at war with ourselves add unnecessary stress and shame to an already complicated story of life. Whereas a gentler relationship with yourself, one that allows flexibility, rhythm and humanity, is much more pleasant and frankly, much more productive. So today I just want to give you a quick strategy for when you hear this inner voice kicking in, this critical part of yourself, all you really have to do is just notice that that's what's happening. And pause. There's space to objectively name what's real. Yeah, I'm off schedule. Yes, I'm sick. I need rest. Things aren't working out like I thought they would. It's totally okay to just describe the situation objectively. But where your relationship comes in with yourself is that there's room to validate. There's room to say, it makes sense that I feel stressed out. Of course I'm a little anxious that I'm off path. It doesn't mean I am fake. Failing to validate yourself is to acknowledge whatever's happening for you and to let yourself know that it's perfectly okay. Right? And a little kindness never hurts. So I would say if you're having self critical thoughts, to take the opportunity to just be kind to yourself, to hold yourself in high regard, right? Unconditional positive regard. That's an expression we use a lot in therapy. And all it means is that everybody has the opportunity to experience kindness. So the next time you're feeling behind or guilty or you just hear that really self critical voice come in, just remember there's an opportunity to both validate yourself and be kind. It's a practice that if you practice it, you'll get better at it. Just remember it's a rhythm of practicing being kind to yourself, being in a loving relationship with yourself that sustains your mental health. It's not about perfection or doing things right. So hopefully this episode has helped you remember that there is always a place for self kindness, imperfections, not a failure. And when things don't go as planned, you have an opportunity to be in a nice relationship with yourself right there. Take that opportunity and run with it. That's your mini session for today. Practice this small shift this week and I'll see you for the full episode on Friday. And remember, you can always find more support at takeouttherapy. Com. Until next time, take really good care of yourself friend, and I will too.