Podcast Summary: "How To Practice Self-Compassion When Things Get Off Track; A Therapy Tool for Hard Times"

Podcast: Take Out Therapy: End Overthinking & Overwhelm for Empathic High Achievers
Host: Rebecca Hunter, MSW
Date: September 23, 2025
Episode Type: Mini Session

Brief Overview

In this mini episode, Rebecca Hunter addresses the challenge of self-doubt and self-criticism when life doesn’t go as planned. Drawing on her experience as a therapist and coach, she offers a practical tool for cultivating self-compassion during difficult times, specifically designed for busy, empathic high-achievers who struggle with overthinking and perfectionism.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Being Off Track

• Host’s Personal Example: Rebecca candidly shares her own experience of falling ill after traveling, missing her normal schedule, and battling the resulting self-doubt.
  • “After traveling I always get sick. So on Monday, as I'm laying in my bed, head cold, running wild, of course the self doubt kicks in.” (01:00)
• Core Message: Life is unpredictable, and even with the best intentions, things can fall apart. This is normal—especially for high achievers.

2. Self-Criticism vs. Self-Compassion

• Inner Critic's Voice: Rebecca describes the familiar self-critical thoughts that arise when expectations aren't met:
  • “All those thoughts of I should be doing this differently or better or more consistently or I don't have any business doing this certain thing right. I don't have the skills, I don't have the know how.” (02:05)
• Impact: These thoughts only add “unnecessary stress and shame to an already complicated story of life,” making things harder, not easier. (02:30)

3. Practical Self-Compassion Tool

• Step 1: Notice and Pause
  • Rebecca suggests the first step is simply to observe the self-critical voice, pausing to reflect.
    • “All you really have to do is just notice that's what's happening. And pause.” (03:18)
• Step 2: Name Reality Objectively
  • Name the real circumstances without judgment.
    • “Yeah, I'm off schedule. Yes, I'm sick. I need rest. Things aren't working out like I thought they would.” (03:32)
• Step 3: Validate Yourself
  • Acknowledge and validate your emotions.
    • “It makes sense that I feel stressed out. Of course I’m a little anxious that I'm off path. It doesn't mean I am fake.” (03:50)
• Step 4: Show Kindness
  • Hold yourself in “unconditional positive regard”—a therapy term Rebecca introduces, meaning the extension of kindness without conditions.
    • “If you're having self critical thoughts, take the opportunity to just be kind to yourself, to hold yourself in high regard, right? Unconditional positive regard.” (04:20)

4. The Importance of Gentle Self-Relationship

• Perfection vs. Progress: Rebecca emphasizes it’s not about getting everything right, but about sustaining mental health through a loving, flexible relationship with oneself.
  • “It's not about perfection or doing things right… when things don't go as planned, you have an opportunity to be in a nice relationship with yourself right there.” (05:24)
• Consistency is Key: Just like any practice, being kind to yourself gets easier as you do it more often.
  • “It's a practice that if you practice it, you'll get better at it. Just remember it's a rhythm of practicing being kind to yourself.” (05:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On permission to be imperfect:
  “Giving yourself permission to be imperfect is better. Mental health in action.” (00:04)
• On self-critical thoughts:
  “All these thoughts that are pretty much at war with ourselves add unnecessary stress and shame to an already complicated story of life.” (02:25)
• On validation:
  “To validate yourself is to acknowledge whatever's happening for you and to let yourself know that it's perfectly okay.” (03:58)
• Therapy wisdom:
  “Unconditional positive regard. That's an expression we use a lot in therapy. And all it means is that everybody has the opportunity to experience kindness.” (04:24)
• On imperfection:
  “Imperfection’s not a failure.” (05:18)

Important Timestamps

• 00:04 – Introduction & purpose: permission to be imperfect
• 01:00 – Personal story: missing schedule due to illness & self-doubt
• 02:05 – Voice of the inner critic described
• 03:18 – The practical self-compassion tool: notice & pause
• 04:20 – Explanation of unconditional positive regard
• 05:18 – Final reminder: imperfection is not failure
• 05:45 – Closing encouragement to practice self-kindness

Recap & Call to Action

Rebecca leaves listeners with a simple challenge: next time your inner critic appears, pause and extend kindness to yourself instead. Remember, imperfection is not a failure, and developing a loving relationship with yourself is essential for true mental health.

• “There is always a place for self-kindness, imperfection’s not a failure.” (05:18)

For more support, visit takeouttherapy.com and tune in for the full episode on Friday.

Tone: Warm, relatable, supportive—like practical encouragement from a wise friend.
Podcast’s trademark: Short, deep, actionable, and therapy-informed advice for people who care deeply, think hard, and want to thrive amidst life’s messiness.