Podcast Episode Summary

Podcast: Take Out Therapy: End Overthinking & Overwhelm for Empathic High Achievers

Host: Rebecca Hunter, MSW
Episode: "The Trance of Busy and How Overthinking & Overfunctioning Keeps You Stuck"
Date: November 7, 2025

Episode Overview

Rebecca Hunter tackles the phenomenon of the “trance of busy”—the compulsive cycle of overthinking and overfunctioning that keeps empathic high achievers stuck in a perpetual state of doing. In her warm, direct, and relatable style, Rebecca explores why so many people mistake nonstop busyness for productivity, how this habit numbs emotion and creates anxiety, and what practical steps listeners can take to finally slow down, reclaim presence, and find authentic calm.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Trance of Busy”: Defining the Pattern

• Many empathic high achievers feel overwhelmed not because they lack time management skills, but because busyness has become a way to cope with deeper issues, such as anxiety, perfectionism, and a need for control.

  • Quote: “Busyness has become a coping mechanism for anxiety, perfection, and maybe a little control.” (02:16)

• Being “busy” has become a badge of honor and a common cultural script—something we say to prove we’re “in the game.”

  • Quote: "It’s almost like a cultural thing that we’ve been made to say, to sort of prove that we’re like, in the game, you know?” (03:14)

2. The Cost of Chronic Busyness

• Life for high achievers starts to feel like “one long check,” with every hour packed and little space for genuine presence or enjoyment.

• The constant race from task to task leaves little intention or satisfaction—people become “heads on a stick,” disconnected from their actual lives.

  • Quote: “Every hour is packed with tasks, goals and plans. … We just can’t enjoy the process. It really feels like, just go from thing to thing. Like a head on a stick really.” (05:00)

• The body’s nervous system interprets 24/7 busyness as survival mode, impairing cognitive clarity, emotional regulation, memory, and patience.

  • Quote: “The nervous system actually just thinks we’re in survival. It thinks we’re fighting for our lives and it stays stuck in that mode.” (07:11)

• This detachment leads to “what’s wrong with me?” thinking, but in reality, it’s just depletion—not deficiency.

  • Quote: “If you’re relating to any of this, nothing’s wrong with you. You’re just depleted.” (08:42)

3. Overfunctioning as Overthinking

• Many clients come wanting to “feel more calm” or “be more present”—what they’re really seeking is a break from uncontrolled, exhausting “hamster wheel” thinking.
  • Quote: “Mostly what people say is, ‘I’m so tired of all the thinking. Like, I am just going like a hamster in a wheel.’” (09:14)

4. Stepping Out of the Busy Cycle

a. Recognize the Pattern and Its Purpose

• The first step is awareness:
  • Notice when you say “busy” or “yes” to everything—these are signals that avoidance is at play.
    • Quote: “Watch for that word busy. ... Watch for the word yes. ... There’s an avoidance happening.” (12:14)
  • Get curious: Ask yourself, “What am I avoiding right now?”

b. Retrain the Brain

• Chronic busyness teaches the brain that only outcomes matter—anything not productive feels “wrong.”

  • Quote: “Your brain thinks life is about outcomes. ... When you experience just silly fun without any productivity, there’s probably some negative emotion going on.” (14:00)

• Intentionally schedule three activities per week that are just for fun and NOT productive to slowly retrain your system.

  • Ideas: Dancing while cooking, creative hobbies while listening to music. Pairing fun with daily tasks is allowed, but fun is non-negotiable.

c. Embrace Mindfulness and Boredom

• Begin to practice mindfulness—being truly present and doing one thing at a time, even if it feels boring.
  • Eat and simply eat, noticing flavors and sensations.
  • Walk and simply walk, observing bodily sensations and the environment.
    • Quote: “When you eat, just eat, friend. ... Just practice being right there. One thing at a time.” (18:58)
    • “When you go for a walk, practice being on the walk. ... Feel your feet on the ground. ... This is mindfulness. ... It’s the present moment.” (19:42)

d. Accept Incompleteness and Rest

• Sometimes, the radical act is to let things be unfinished—to peaceably say no.

  • Quote: “Just letting things be unfinished sometimes is just a radical act of training your system away from the trance of busy.” (21:05)

• True rest, boredom, and letting go of the need to earn relaxation is, in fact, healing—not laziness or failure.

  • Quote: “Remember, you don’t need to earn your rest. Slowing down is not failure. That is a cultural training that we need to ditch. And fast.” (22:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Busyness is a really clever disguise for avoidance, actually. It feels really productive, but it just disconnects you from the life you’re working so hard to build.” (21:37)
• “Awareness is the doorway back to peace. So if you can figure out what’s going on, you’ve done half the work, friend.” (13:47)
• “We can be busy and still feel calm, to be honest. ... You don’t need to fix your schedule or figure out any hacks. You just need to grab a little of your peace by showing up whenever you can.” (21:51)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00 — Introduction: Episode’s goals, relevance for empathic achievers.
• 02:16 — “Busyness as coping mechanism”—why we all default to “busy.”
• 05:00 — The loss of presence and emotional cost of packed lives.
• 07:11 — The impact of chronic busyness on the nervous system.
• 08:42 — Reframing: Depletion, not deficiency.
• 09:14 — How uncontrolled thinking creates exhaustion.
• 12:14 — Spotting the signals of over-busyness & avoidance.
• 14:00 — How to teach (and retrain) your brain away from constant productivity.
• 18:58 — Mindfulness for busy people: Eat or walk, one thing at a time.
• 21:05 — Accepting unfinished tasks as part of healing.
• 21:37 — The great disconnect: Busyness as avoidance.
• 22:00 — “You don’t have to earn your rest”—general reframe on healing.

Conclusion & Takeaways

Rebecca Hunter’s message is clear, compassionate, and actionable: Being busy isn’t a virtue and won’t fix your anxiety. The trance of busy is a cultural and personal pattern, but you can break free. By noticing your triggers, embracing unproductive fun, practicing true presence, and allowing imperfection, you create space for healing, presence, and authentic calm.

Key Reminder:
“You don’t need to earn your rest. Slowing down is not failure. That is a cultural training that we need to ditch. ... Slowing down, resting, being bored, it’s actually kind of healing.” (22:00)

Recommended Next Step:
Try three nonproductive, enjoyable activities in the coming week and notice how it feels. Name and notice when you say “busy”—use this as your cue to pause and ask, “What am I avoiding?”