Podcast
Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
Hosted by TruStory FM · EN
Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright offer support, life management strategies, and time and technology tips, dedicated to anyone looking to take control while living with ADHD.
33episodes
Episodes
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A Revisit: Change Your Vocabulary, Change Your Mindset
1w ago00:36:03Tap to summarizeWe're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. In this one, Pete and Nikki dig into the words we use and how much they shape the way we see ourselves.Working from Alicia Dunams' book I Get To, Nikki walks through a few simple language shifts that hit differently when you have ADHD, from "I have to" versus "I get to" to catching the negative "what ifs." They also get into the power of the pause and staying curious instead of judgmental. It's an encouraging, practical listen, whether it's your first time or a return trip.Links & NotesI Get To: How using the Right Words Can Radically Transform Your life, Relationships & Business by Alicia DunamsThe Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength and Overcoming Life's Hurdles by Karen Reivich“Six Surprising Benefits of Curiosity” by Emily Campbell (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast (04:14) - Change Your Language: "I Get To: How Using the Right Words can Radically Transform Your Life" (10:50) - How Rewards Impact Language (12:39) - A Brief Aside on The QUIT Center... (15:02) - What do you THINK you can do? (18:52) - Facing the Impossible Situation (19:42) - Why not? What if? (27:17) - The Power of the Pause ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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A Revisit: Celebrating What We Do
2w ago00:25:55Tap to summarizeWe're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. The idea takes after Dr. Kurosh Dini's concept of the visit, showing up to something with curiosity rather than judgment.In this one, Pete and Nikki talk about celebrating what you get done, and why so many people with ADHD give themselves almost no credit for it. They flip the usual deficit thinking on its head, dig into some very practical self-compassion, and share a simple exercise you can start tonight. It's an encouraging listen, whether it's your first time or a return trip. (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (04:42) - Celebrating What We Do ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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A Revisit: Attacking the Gremlins with Jane Massengill
3w ago00:46:36Tap to summarizeWe're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. The idea takes after Dr. Kurosh Dini's concept of the visit, showing up to something with curiosity rather than judgment.In this one, we talk with coach Jane Massengill about the negative self-talk that so many people with ADHD carry, why it can run louder for us, and a simple practice she calls word watching for catching it in the moment. It's a warm, useful conversation about learning to be kinder to yourself. Whether it's your first listen or a return trip, it's worth your time.Links & NotesJaneMassengill.comThe Gremlin-Taming InstituteTaming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way — by Rick Carlson (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast! (03:28) - Introducing Jane Massengill of the Gremlin-Taming Institute (08:37) - Why do some people struggle when others don't? (16:01) - About the Book and Jane's History (19:55) - The ADHD Internal Dialog (24:23) - Word-Watching (31:51) - Word-Watching Exercise ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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How to Notice Progress Without Measuring It
Jul 900:28:05Tap to summarizeAt the end of the day, when your brain starts tallying everything you didn't finish, where's the credit for everything you did? In the Season 32 finale, we close out the season on the quiet skill that gets buried under all that mental accounting — noticing your progress instead of measuring it.The unfinished stuff is loud: the laundry pile, the twenty-item list, the messages still waiting. The progress is silent, and a lifetime of report cards and performance reviews has trained us to see only what's left. We get into why that happens — with a detour through a 1927 psychology experiment that explains a lot about the ADHD shame loop — what self-compassion actually looks like in a real day, and why the answer isn't a shinier scorecard. Plus a family-dinner ritual worth stealing, an optical illusion that makes the whole point, and one of the more memorable cold opens of the season.It's our send-off into summer break, and a reminder that sometimes the entire practice fits into one word.Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:33) - Join the Community! https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (03:04) - Progress Without Measurement ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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You’re Not Broken. You’re Contextual.
Jul 200:26:48Tap to summarizeYou can lose six hours to the thing that lights you up, then completely stall on a task that takes three minutes. Same brain, different room. In this conversation, Pete and Nikki get into why ADHD shows up hard in one setting and nearly disappears in another, why "broken" is the wrong word for any of it, and what changes when you stop asking how to fix yourself and start paying attention to the rooms where you do your best work. It's the capper on a season-long conversation about living with ADHD instead of fighting it, and a grounded look at the context, fuel, and environment that make hard things doable.Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:41) - Check us out on Patreon (02:44) - You're Not Broken. You're Contextual ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Self-Trust Is a Nervous System Skill with Dr. Tamara Rosier
Jun 2500:48:44Tap to summarizeYou can have the perfect planner, the right system, and the best intentions, and still not follow through. It isn't a caring problem. After enough broken promises to yourself, some quiet part of you simply stops believing the plan. That's where this conversation with Dr. Tamara Rosier begins, and it reframes self-trust as something closer to a nervous system skill than a mindset you can think your way into.Dr. Tamara Rosier has written the books and built the center and stood on the stages, and she still wakes some mornings and reminds herself, deliberately, that she is a trustworthy person. The belief underneath — the one she's carried since she was small — is that she's a person who screws things up. ADHD feeds a belief like that. It chips away at your sense of who you are, one forgotten thing at a time, until distrusting yourself stops feeling like a wound and starts feeling like good judgment.So much of that, it turns out, is happening in the body. An ADHD nervous system can spend its whole life braced — fight, flight, freeze, appease — switched on and calling it normal because it has never known the alternative. For years Tamara sat frozen on the couch, melting into the cushions, sure she was resting, when she was really stuck somewhere below the place where rest actually lives. There's a narrow band where you're calm and awake at once, and a lot of us have never spent much time there. Hearing her describe it, you may quietly start to wonder whether you ever have.The way back looks like catching yourself mid-loop — Tamara tells it through the week she lost one of her chickens, and the refrain that trailed her around the house, I failed her, I failed her, I failed her — and then learning to talk back to it, to move your body, to put on the Motown, to do the next small thing that nudges you up out of the freeze. It looks like noticing the clever ways we avoid all of that, too: the new app, the next fix, the dopamine that keeps us busy on the surface so we never have to turn toward the thing underneath.And the hope here is almost disappointingly ordinary. No system is going to fix you by Thursday. What there is, instead, is the small correction, made again and again, the way a sailor nudges the tiller rather than wrenching the whole boat around and tipping it over. There's learning to read your own weather, hour by hour. There's accepting that you may always need the timer, the Post-it, the reminder, and letting that be fine rather than shameful. Self-trust grows in that soil — in the quiet, stubborn belief that whatever goes sideways today, you'll know how to repair it.Links & NotesDr. Tamara Rosier — our guest's author site, where you can find her work and stay connected.ADHD Center of West Michigan — the coaching and support practice Tamara founded in Grand Rapids.Your Brain's Not Broken — Tamara's book on navigating your emotions and life with ADHD. A new edition for teens and young adults is on the way.You, Me & Our ADHD Family — her book on cultivating healthy relationships when ADHD is in the house.ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO) — the professional body for ADHD coaches; their directory is a solid place to start if you're looking for one.HeartMath — the heart-rhythm coherence and breathing tool Tamara leans on to drop into a calmer, parasympathetic state.Vagal nerve resets — Tamara's advice is to find the one that fits you; she points listeners to the many free walk-throughs on YouTube rather than any single "right" technique. Clicking that link saves you a search in YouTube.Join us on Patreon — early, ad-free episodes, extended editions, the post-show Q&A, the Discord community, and a seat in the Wednesday morning live stream.Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:57) - Introducing Dr. Tamara Rosier (04:25) - Self-Trust and the Nervous System (12:32) - What are our beliefs doing in our bodies? (32:55) - Learn Your State ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Rewriting the Rules You Inherited About Worth
Jun 1800:30:44Tap to summarizeThere's a rule most of us signed before we could read it. It decides whether we're worth anything, and it tends to set the same terms for everyone who carries an ADHD brain: you're valuable if you perform, if you keep every plate spinning, if you never let anyone down. Live under that contract long enough and it stops feeling like a belief and starts feeling like a fact — written, as the metaphor goes this week, in permanent ink.Where did the rule come from? Often from the earliest lessons — the pulled-out-of-class, extra-time, here-are-your-accommodations lessons that were meant to level the field but landed as proof you were different. The gap they leave behind doesn't shrink with age. There's research suggesting it widens. The assumption that everyone else has this figured out turns out to be the lie that keeps the rule in place.Links & NotesSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:17) - Join the Patreon! (03:13) - Rewriting Rules ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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What It Means to Be “Good Enough” With ADHD
Jun 1100:25:10Tap to summarize"Good enough" is a phrase that can land like permission or like an accusation — and for ADHD brains that have spent a lifetime being told we're not trying hard enough, both feelings often arrive at once.This week, we're untangling that knot. Why does a phrase meant to release us so often feel like settling? Why does the ADHD brain hear "good enough" and translate it into "not enough"? And what would it actually take to reclaim the phrase as our own?This is really all about intention — the difference between walking away from something because you've been defeated by it, and walking away because you've made a choice. One leaves you smaller. The other builds something. We talk about the standards we measure ourselves against (almost always invented), the freeze that comes when nothing feels possible, and the small, almost invisible acts that count as progress even when they don't feel like it.By the end, we land somewhere unexpectedly tender: a reminder that the way we build trust with ourselves isn't by finishing things perfectly. It's by finishing them at all.There's a free download this week — five questions to help you decide what's good enough — linked below.Links & NotesDownload the What Does It Mean to be Good Enough? Worksheet!Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:25) - Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast (02:56) - What does it mean to be good enough? (21:51) - How do you know it's good enough? ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Permission Slips You Keep Waiting For
Jun 400:31:40Tap to summarizeThere's a kind of waiting most ADHDers know well — waiting for someone, somewhere, to say it's okay. Okay to rest. Okay to stop masking. Okay to take the accommodation. Okay to want what you want without justifying it.In this conversation, we get into the permission slips we keep waiting for, often from authority figures who may not even exist anymore. We talk about why ADHDers wait — the research-backed link between years of childhood correction and adult reliance on external validation — and what that has to do with decision paralysis, rejection sensitivity, masking, and the exhaustion of performing a version of yourself that you didn't sign up for.Plus the swan, self-determination theory, and a small concrete first step you can try this week.Links & NotesDownload The ADHD Permission Slip!Support the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (01:26) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast (02:36) - Your Permission Slips ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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Why Advice Stops Working When You’re Tired
May 2800:25:36Tap to summarizeWe've all been there: someone offers a perfectly reasonable suggestion, and instead of taking it in, you bristle. You're tired. You're cranky. The last thing you want is advice. This week, Pete and Nikki tackle what happens when ADHD meets fatigue — and why the strategies that usually work suddenly don't.This isn't laziness. It isn't a character flaw. It's what happens when executive functions are already running on a deficit and you pile fatigue on top. Pete brings the research, including a study showing 62% of adults with ADHD meet the criteria for chronic fatigue syndrome — a reminder that "everybody gets tired" is true, but ADHD brains get tired in a different and vastly more significant way.The conversation moves from the science to the lived experience: the guilt loop that keeps you from resting, the way fatigue distorts reality until small tasks feel like moral referendums, and the rewiring required to treat recovery as part of the work — not a reward you have to earn.Plus: why "I don't wanna" might be a capacity check in disguise, the four categories of recovery that actually work (hint: sleep is only one of them), and Nikki's insight that the recovery muscle is built through trial and error, not advance planning.LINKS & RESOURCESPast episode referenced: The Opportunity CostPast episode referenced: Capacity conversation with Brooke SchnittmanSupport the Show on PatreonDig into the podcast Shownotes Database (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (03:10) - The Tired Problem ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
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