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Natty Wonder
Bada, bada boom.
Gunther
Sold. Huh?
Tolv
Just sold my car on Carvana.
Gunther
Dropping it off and getting paid today already. What? You still haven't sold yours?
Tolv
You told me about it months ago.
Gunther
I just. Is the offer good?
Natty Wonder
Oh, the offer's great.
Tolv
Don't have another car yet.
Gunther
I could trade it in for this car I love.
Tolv
Come on, what are we waiting for?
Gunther
Ah, you're right.
Natty Wonder
Let's go.
Tolv
Whether you're looking to sell your car.
Natty Wonder
Right now or just whenever feels right, go to Carvana.com and sell your car the convenient way. Terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by US Cellular. Some things are worth waiting for. Like getting your diploma or finding the right partner. You know what's not worth waiting for? The cable guy. Fortunately, US Cellular's Home Internet is so simple to install, you can do it yourself.
Gunther
And it's just $39.99 per month when.
Natty Wonder
Bundled with a wireless plan with a three year price lock guarantee. US Cellular Home Internet made simple without the waiting terms apply. Visit uscellular.com for details. Film Motion Pictures Cinema. If you like those words and you'll love our Patreon exclusive podcast called Stinky Pop, just go over to stinkydragonpod.com to show your support and you can watch me, John Risinger and the rest of the Stinky Dragon team talk about a different movie each episode. Watch along with us as we talk about our favorite films. And do not forget, we have tons of other awesome exclusive content for our patrons. So once again, go visit steam stinkydragonpod.com to sign up today.
Tolv
Afternoon, all you Anubians, swirl your way.
Natty Wonder
Into the Stinky Dragon and imbibe our latest blend, One Night Sand.
Tolv
It's a mixture of milk of haboob, a single grain of cinna sand, a.
Natty Wonder
Clawful of cloves, a summoning of aniseed, a swirling cinder of citrus and blue glowing tea leaves. One bottle of this beige beverage and.
Tolv
You'Ll be the harbinger of Dune. Previously, our adventurers further explored the caves of the cortege and found a frosty fragment from a forgotten froggy croak. Furthermore, they floated down a curious chasm, located a lost leg, and secured a sparkly spyglass. Finally, they fertilely foot slogged up to a familiar fabrication. The Armory.
Natty Wonder
But they are far from alone.
Tolv
Pour yourself a potation and let's proceed with this pungent pop bottom.
Doug Boone
He said haboob.
Gunther
He did. Hello. Welcome to Tales from the Sticky Dragon. I'm Gustavo Serola, your dungeon master and I'm highly caffeinated today. Not one of those. Yay.
Tolv
Not like this.
Gunther
Hey. This is what you get. You interrupted the evil guy's monologue last time. So this is this your. This is your punishment. This is what you're going to get.
Natty Wonder
I forgot about that.
Gunther
I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.
Natty Wonder
Did that. Is that it ricocheted and missed or something?
Doug Boone
Sure did. I'm not answering today's question so good.
Gunther
You're redirecting it.
Natty Wonder
That'd be such a messed up thing of like rolling a dice to see if we have to answer the question today.
Gunther
Today's arrow. Submitted by Wizard Power 700. What's the toughest challenge you have ever faced? Don't everyone go to answer? I know. Wizard Power 700 seems powerful. Don't worry. I'm Wizard Power 900.
Natty Wonder
Wizard Power 700 sounds like a magazine that I would have subscribed to when I was a child. Hello, everybody. I'm John Risinger, and I play Natty Wonder. I was about a half a breath away from saying Matid again.
Doug Boone
Mat.
Natty Wonder
Just.
Gunther
Just don't say Natty Matid.
Natty Wonder
The thought entered my brain. I was like, get. Get out of here. Okay. You already had your campaign go on. Yeah, I gotta. It's like getting to the new year, you know, you have to just get used to saying 2024. 2024. That kind of thing. I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock level three, Right? I'm not telling.
Doug Boone
Did you level us up secretly, Gus?
John Risinger
No. John just leveled himself up. He's been grinding in off hours.
Natty Wonder
We have full control over our characters. I could be level 10 if I wanted to. You can't stop me. What are you going to do?
Tolv
I think they could. I think they could.
Natty Wonder
Jod.
John Risinger
I want to see how.
Natty Wonder
I want to see how. What was the question? I've just diverged.
Tolv
What was the hardest challenge? Your hardest challenge you've ever faced?
Gunther
The toughest challenge you ever faced.
Doug Boone
Answering this question.
Natty Wonder
Yes, my hardest challenge is staying on point. My hardest challenge will come to no surprise of anybody. It involves my good, perfect, adorable, angelic little son, Mr. Gigglesworth.
Barbara Dunkelman
I don't know if angelic would be the proper word to describe this guy.
Tolv
Demonic, more like.
Natty Wonder
I know. And I almost. I almost went to, like, a Michigan accent there. Into Bobby's world.
Tolv
Mom.
Natty Wonder
Right there. Oh, it's one of those days. Yes, Doug, I know that he can come across a little rough around the edges, but I know once you get to know him and and love him the way that I do. You will see the little cherub that's on the end of my leash and holds my heart.
Barbara Dunkelman
All right, Joey's still out. But I see Joey.
Natty Wonder
It was potty training, Gigi. Oh, and by saying that, that's my hardest chat. It continues. It's. It's continuing to be my challenge because I don't want to, you know, put rails around my son. I want him to find his own way in this world. But it would just be nice if maybe once out of every five times he dropped a twosies. It was in a proper receptacle. That would be a win for me at this point.
Barbara Dunkelman
Where does he usually drop his twosies?
Natty Wonder
I mean, you know, you name it.
Gunther
Well, I think if I remember right, didn't Uncle Tove help with a cleanup in the last episode? Or was that the one before? Yeah, there was a. There was a bit of an issue and I think Tolv had to step in and help you. And you seemed really relieved about that. Now that I think about it.
John Risinger
Literally stepped in.
Natty Wonder
And sometimes they like, this is probably a little bit of that tmi, but because of what he is, they're hot. They're very hot. They can burn you. That's also just something I did not know that was going to be part of motherhood.
Barbara Dunkelman
So do you pick it up just like straight with your hand then, or like, how do you clean up his messes?
Natty Wonder
Sometimes I just have to let it sit there and cool down for a bit until it turns into something that I can handle.
Barbara Dunkelman
So that's why there's a hole burnt through Doug's bed.
Tolv
Alien blood. Xenomorph blood.
Natty Wonder
His poop is like the acid from a xenomorph.
Gunther
Yuck. Well, that's a great start to this episode. Thank you.
Natty Wonder
That's what y'all get for being silent. And let me go first. Ok, I'll go next.
Gunther
Hello.
Tolv
Hello, it's me. It's Blaine Gibson and I play. Wait, no, let me leave the room.
Natty Wonder
Oh, flames.
Tolv
Yoo hoo. It's me To. Oh, good to see you all fresh smiling faces. Especially you, dungeon master. You have big coffee face right now. So caffeinated. So good for you.
Gunther
Do you drink coffee? Tolv? This is special arrow just for you.
Tolv
Oh wow. Two arrows in one. What a discount. What is this, Black Friday?
Gunther
If it was, you would get great deals at store.stinkydragonpod.com Tov does not consume coffee.
Tolv
It makes him too jittery. Blaine needs coffee right now. His girlfriend's on the way to get coffee. So midway through, you're gonna get to get, like, a sonic boost from Blaine.
Doug Boone
People will be able to tell the moment Blaine has his coffee in this episode.
Tolv
You will. You will.
Natty Wonder
I. I'll call it out.
Doug Boone
No, leave a comment when you think it happened.
Tolv
Yeah, Leave the time code. You think I get my coffee?
Doug Boone
Yeah.
Tolv
You know, the hardest challenge that TO has had to face by far was, you know, it came second next to changing Gigi's diaper. But the most challenging challenge was readjusting to life on land. Yeah, it's very hard. You know, I. I live my life.
Natty Wonder
Is that why you were always just bracing One Direction all the time?
Tolv
Yeah. You know, I just so used to being on a boat, you know, singing songs and doing boat things on the high seas.
Doug Boone
Singing songs like from One Direction, you know, abba.
Natty Wonder
It's going to start being part of my head cannon that you are not saying boat on mistake. You are actually saying boat on purpose of ship. And in fact, Tolv came from just a tiny little boat. It wasn't like a big old Viking ship.
Tolv
No.
Natty Wonder
It was like a robot. It's just like his made up friends. Like, it's going to start being that way with me. I love it.
John Risinger
I just thought you liked to dance and sway.
Tolv
Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, being back on land, very hard, you know, after being on a chip, it just feels wrong coming out my words.
Barbara Dunkelman
Boat sounds a lot more natural.
Natty Wonder
You do you.
Gunther
But I think the hardest challenge Tolv has ever had is distinguishing between boat and ship is what I'm gathering here.
Natty Wonder
I'm sorry, I should say more.
Tolv
And then the boat.
Doug Boone
Did you say what Tolv was.
Tolv
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Natty Wonder
He's opening this thing right now.
Tolv
I was looking up the Viking word for boat. I am a male orc barbarian. Three. Three.
Gunther
I like that he's looking up the Viking word for boat and not the Viking word for ship. So it's just classic. I mean, it's just like head on a hat. It's just so perfect. I love it.
Doug Boone
Oh, I also. I know in our previous campaign, we always joked around about how small Jon's mouth would get when he was voicing mateed. But Blaine's mouth gets so big when he's voice control.
Natty Wonder
He's enunciating like a pro is what he's doing.
Doug Boone
It's like the opposite.
Tolv
Yeah.
Doug Boone
I could go next, I guess, since Chris.
John Risinger
I'm still thinking we need to like.
Natty Wonder
We need to, like, draw lots or something, or.
Gunther
That's a good idea.
Doug Boone
We can also just roll every time. We can roll off each time.
Gunther
Let's start. Let's start doing that. If we remember next time, let's. Let's have an initiative order next time. That's a good idea.
Natty Wonder
Like two weeks, three campaigns, and that's what we came up with.
Gunther
If. I think if people are familiar with our show behind the Screen, also available on our Patreon, we always roll initiative in that show to determine the order, which people answer. So we can incorporate something from behind the screen into the main show and.
Doug Boone
What is behind the screen for those of our listeners who might not be familiar with the topics.
Gunther
Barbara, thank you for asking. What a great question. It's a show we have available on our Patreon where we go a little behind the scenes and talk about a variety of topics. I think we've had topics about running mod campaign modules. We had a different episode about improv, an episode about dungeon mastering. So just kind of things you can put in your toolbox to help you run games or to even, like, play games. Things that. That we find useful. And if you'd like more information, you can go to stinkydragonpod.com and I believe that show is available. Is that at our Big Stinker or not? Big Stinker. Okay. Yeah. Big Stinker level and above. So go check it out. It's just another piece of content we produce that if you like this show, it's just more.
Doug Boone
I think we even had one about us developing our campaign, two characters, which.
John Risinger
Is really fun, just about character creation in general. You know, like our kind of philosophies and thoughts and our process.
Gunther
And Micah just reminded me, and the audience gets to vote on the topics that we talk about. We put that in the discord. And so it's. It's things that people in the community actually want to hear about. We will talk about.
Doug Boone
Yes, absolutely.
Natty Wonder
You saying this is a democracy?
Doug Boone
Tbd. Hello, everyone. My name is Barbara Dunkelman, and I play. Hello, John. Good to see you. I play Doug Boone, the bugbear artificer, also level three.
Gunther
Hi, Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
Hello, Gus. Nice to see you again on this fine morning. I hear you're having some coffee.
Gunther
Yeah, I just finished my fourth cup. I think I'm gonna be a little jittery.
Natty Wonder
Are you serious?
Gunther
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
Is that.
Doug Boone
Wow, that's a lot of contraptions.
Gunther
Well, a lot. You all are in for it.
Barbara Dunkelman
Doug is more of a fan of. Sometimes he drinks a little Bit of green tea sometimes maybe, like, a matcha latte. Delicious. He actually has a couple contraptions that he's built that actually could brew it for him in the morning without him even having to do anything.
Gunther
That sounds right up Doug's alley, like, making a little contraption for that. I love it.
Natty Wonder
Except it's not, like what we're thinking in our head of, like, Keurig. It's like those little conveyor belt machines from, like, the opening of, like, Honey I Shrunk the Kids of, like, Pee Wee Herman. That's what it is.
Tolv
Goldberg machine.
Gunther
Oh, yeah.
Tolv
Also, sorry to pop in here. It says tolv again. Did you say to say green tea?
Barbara Dunkelman
Green tea. Yeah.
Tolv
Okay. Okay. I just wanted to make sure the W was where it was supposed to be. Nothing. R. I take the R's. You take the W's. Anyways, continue on. Sorry.
Barbara Dunkelman
Thanks, Tove. Thanks for the insight. How do you say green tea?
Tolv
Green tea.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, that's very. That's very crispy.
Doug Boone
I like it.
Barbara Dunkelman
And the biggest challenge Doug has had to face. Is that the question? Toughest challenge.
Gunther
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
Well, this is a little more broad. But, you know, the biggest challenge Doug's had to face was back when he lived with, you know, his community, his family, and he felt like he really didn't fit in. And so, you know, Doug had to do a lot of kind of blending in and trying to be someone he was not around these people. And so that was really tough for Doug. So now that Doug's been a little bit more on his own, it's been a little more comfortable for him, and, you know, it feels like he could truly be himself. And I think he's starting to feel that way around his team as well. Surprisingly, he's not used to feeling this kind of connection, and so.
Doug Boone
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
On the up and up for Doug.
Tolv
Oh, good.
Natty Wonder
Go be team. Yeah.
Gunther
Sounds like things are going good.
Tolv
Daya gives her toughest challenges to her strongest, strongest warriors.
Natty Wonder
Her hardest challenges.
Tolv
Your strongest warriors.
Gunther
Who's Daya?
Natty Wonder
Yeah. Who's Dia.
Tolv
Oh. Oh, no, we don't do Daya here. Daya's not a thing here.
Natty Wonder
We don't do Daya here.
Barbara Dunkelman
And also, Doug has faced, you know, some other challenges that he's not really ready to open up about yet.
Gunther
What are you, Gunther?
Natty Wonder
Don't you have your own God, Tove? Like a God of the sea.
Tolv
I'm looking him up.
Natty Wonder
What is his name?
Tolv
We haven't connected in a while. I kind of ghosted him.
Natty Wonder
He's just so Proud. He remembered a name from two campaigns ago.
Gunther
Well, it sounds like things are in the upswing, Doug, and I'm happy for you.
Natty Wonder
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, I think, guys, it's good to be here.
John Risinger
Speaking of being here, I'm here. I'm Chris Damaris.
Natty Wonder
What?
John Risinger
Chris is here, and I'm playing Gunther. He's a male croque folk frog. Fellow level three fighter artist. Challenge.
Natty Wonder
He's.
John Risinger
There's two. Number one would be being forced to leave my family and community behind.
Barbara Dunkelman
It looks like we have got the opposite problem.
John Risinger
And leaving everything I love and cherish. The other is one time there was a bug on a cacti.
Tolv
Oh.
John Risinger
I went after it. It wrapped around, and then I was on my tongue. My tongue was so wrapped around with thorns.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, is that why you got that cool tongue? Pyoxing?
John Risinger
No, that was a. I was stabbed.
Tolv
Oh.
Barbara Dunkelman
Deal.
Tolv
That's smarts.
John Risinger
But also, the cacti did not help. Do not do it.
Barbara Dunkelman
I promise I will never try to.
Doug Boone
Catch a bug on your cacti.
Barbara Dunkelman
Ever.
Doug Boone
Ganto. You have my word.
John Risinger
Good.
Tolv
Tolv takes the cactus away that he was about to taste. Okay.
Gunther
I will say, while someone was giving an answer, I don't know if it was Tolv or Natty, Chris started reaching off camera, like he had to take his headphones off to grab something. And I thought he was. When he pulled it into camera to put it away, I thought he had grabbed a burrito, like a breakfast burrito and was about to eat it. But it was like a. I guess like a dog chew. It must be a toy for your dog. And you were getting it away from him. I was like, oh, okay. It's not a burrito. Yeah.
John Risinger
Did you see him? Also, I put it up on a shelf. And did you see him, like, trying to jump up on the shelf and. No, like, stay down. He's chewing it too loudly.
Tolv
Meanwhile, at Blaine's house. Look at that dog. He's sleepy.
Natty Wonder
Sleepy doggy in the back.
Gunther
Just see his little face back there?
Tolv
No more dogs. More dnd.
Doug Boone
D. And D stands for dogs and dogs.
Gunther
It's D and D. I would go Dungeons and Dragons and dogs, but we can do dogs and Dogs.
Natty Wonder
Just Dungeons and Dogs and dogs.
Tolv
No, I don't want the dogs in dungeons. That's.
Natty Wonder
And dogs.
Tolv
Them. He puts them in a dungeon.
Natty Wonder
Listen, we're gonna have a talk about that because that seems to have really bothered.
Tolv
Good. Let's do it. Great. I've been listing off all of my reasons why I did not like it. And it made Torv uncomfortable.
Natty Wonder
Now it seems to be that you have maybe a different relationship with what death is than what I do.
Gunther
Okay.
Natty Wonder
And so I totally understand how, from your perspective, that probably came across as shocking.
Tolv
Yeah, I mean, I think you actually shocked them with your spell.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, well, it's not. It's not. It's not electric. Eldrid's blasts are different.
Doug Boone
Oogie woogie woogie.
Natty Wonder
Now, it's just when Gunther had pointed out that if we left them there, they were going to die a painful death. I embrace the change of what Death? Death isn't the end. It's just a change of. To the next. And I have a good relationship with death. And so I just. I was helping those dogs in that way. But you know what? I understand that without context and without discussing it, that was probably a little out of line there to. So I'm sor.
Tolv
I accept your apology. Guys, I think that Natty's in a death cult. Let's continue on with the adventure. We find ourselves in a sticky situation.
Gunther
Well, not just you. I don't know about this. We.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay, yeah, that sounds like a you problem. 12.
Tolv
Help. Gunther, I recall from two episodes ago you said you liked eating glue. Go to work. Go to work.
Gunther
Oh, yeah.
John Risinger
Good memory. Cause I did not remember that.
Gunther
You bring your warhammer down, splintering the wood on the top of the chest. And as you do so, some kind of sticky substance fires out, coating you. Toll.
John Risinger
A sticky substance shoots out.
Doug Boone
Probably like a booby trap, maybe, or some type of defense of whatever's in this chest.
Gunther
Yeah, as you're standing there, you feel like it's more and more difficult to move, and you're becoming adhered to the floor.
Doug Boone
Uh oh.
Tolv
Guys, I made a mistake. Guys. Oh, no. You did precisely what you needed to do.
Gunther
Out from behind one of the racks steps the magistrate, exactly as planned.
Tolv
Oh, how foolish of you. You've delivered the scale of scales right into my hand.
Natty Wonder
Natty shoots him while he's. While he's talking.
Gunther
All. I guess we ended that last episode with Natty firing off an eldritch blast, so let's start this episode with it. Why don't you go ahead and roll, See if that hits. Natty.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, that's 21 for hit pay now.
Gunther
Yes, that hits.
Natty Wonder
And that's a D10 plus three.
Doug Boone
Did we roll initiative at any point?
Gunther
No, he just started with this.
Doug Boone
Okay.
Gunther
In the middle of the magistrate's speech, he did this. So I'm giving him this, and then we'll switch over to initiative.
Natty Wonder
There. Nine or six. That's a nine. There's a line. Nine plus three is 12.
Tolv
Struggling with those dice today, John?
Natty Wonder
It's because I couldn't see if the line was there of, like, underneath the bottom of the nine or the bottom of the six. I need to turn a light on my room. Actually, you're right. I was just actually looking up. What kind of damage is an eldritch blast?
Tolv
Oh, force.
Natty Wonder
Force damage.
Gunther
Nice.
Natty Wonder
I'm just curious.
John Risinger
Not electricity.
Natty Wonder
Not electricity.
Gunther
12 points of force damage. Okay. The eldritch blast flies true, hitting the magistrate for 12 points of damage. He groans, stares at you natty. And murmurs, I hold you in contempt. Okay, everyone roll Initiative.
Natty Wonder
Hold up. I forgot. There's actually two more things that happen when I do Elders blast plus three damage to that because of agonizing blast, which is an Eldritch invocation I have. And then he also moves 10ft away from me in the direction I shot him because of repelling blast, which is another one of my invocations.
Gunther
Okay, so he is just north of you in the armory.
Tolv
Did they die? Does that mean we no longer have to roll Initiative? What's the three? Was the three enough? Did that put it over the top?
Gunther
Did they fall out of the window? No.
Tolv
Okay, rolling Initiative.
Gunther
Everyone roll Initiative. That's a good question. 12. Thank you.
Doug Boone
7.
Tolv
You bet.
John Risinger
14.
Natty Wonder
15.
Tolv
15 as well.
Gunther
Who's hired what is your initiative?
Natty Wonder
15 decks.
Tolv
16 decks.
Doug Boone
Okay, so it goes Tolv, Natty, Gunther, Doug.
Gunther
Yes, exactly the opposite of how I'd written all your names down. So great.
Natty Wonder
Thanks, guys.
Gunther
Exactly opposite. Yeah, I was like, I'm gonna be smart. I'm gonna write down their names alphabetically because it's only random. And you still managed to do it. All right, the Magistrate rolled a two. Let me see if he has any modifiers on that. So he goes last. Awesome. Awesome. Told. Oh, yeah, Told. You're first, but you are kind of stuck in a bunch of glue in front of the chest. What do you want to try to do?
Tolv
Yeah, how stuck is told? I mean, can he swing his arms around, or is he.
Natty Wonder
Is it just feet, or is everything paralyzed?
Tolv
Yeah, is this. I guess, getting into the meta. Is my speed reduced or am I, like, prone?
Gunther
You have the status effect restrained in D and D. You can toggle that in your character sheet. So when you're restrained, your speed becomes zero, so you can't move. Attack rolls against you have advantage, and your attack rolls have disadvantage. And you also have disadvantage on dexterity.
Tolv
Saving throws Ooh, you're really taking it easy on me today, aren't you?
Gunther
Don't put this on me. You're the one who went up and smashed the chest.
Tolv
I'm trying to speed things along. Okay?
Doug Boone
It was a haboobi.
Natty Wonder
Is there something you could do to deal with the glue?
Tolv
Let's see. Oh, what can I do? I'm stuck in glue again. O gee whiz.
Gunther
Again? You could let the magistrate win. Just throwing that out there. It's an option.
Tolv
That is an option. Okay? Taking that into consideration.
Gunther
No bad ideas.
Tolv
Can I. I'm trying to think of a creative way to get out of the glue, but I can't. Like, should I just. Can I just get out of the glue? Can I pull the glue off of me?
Gunther
You can try.
Tolv
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna try to pull this glue off of me. It's sticky and it makes me feel claustrophobic.
Gunther
Okay, Toll. Make a. Let's call it a strength check.
Tolv
Strength check.
Doug Boone
That's good. He's a barbarian.
Gunther
15.
Tolv
It's pretty good, that verse.
Natty Wonder
In fact, is your save different than your check? You rolled a strength save, and I just want to make sure you were getting the full use of your modifiers.
Tolv
Oh, it's plus five. Strength is plus three. Sorry. Was it a saving throw or was it a check? I'm sorry.
Gunther
Check. Third campaign. We'll figure it out eventually.
Tolv
I rolled that again. It's a 23, if you want to take that.
Gunther
No, no, I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna use that original roll. It was a 13.
Tolv
Meet me at the table here, Gus.
Barbara Dunkelman
13?
Gunther
You rolled a 13?
Tolv
What if I use my inspiration die, and then I retroactively use the 23.
Gunther
No, no, no.
Tolv
Okay, okay. I'm pulling your leg.
Gunther
You. You know, you put your ha to begin pulling at the glue, and you begin getting some pretty decent chunks of it out. I'll say that you free yourself so you will no longer be restrained and you can move on your next turn, but you use your action to free yourself on this turn.
Tolv
Yeah, I figured. Okay, then I used my bonus action to say, go team. You can do it. Woohoo. Wait, can I rage? Is that a bonus action?
Gunther
That is a bonus action.
Doug Boone
It is bonus.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, but you have to get attacked by the end of this round for it to maintain, right?
Doug Boone
I think as long as he attacks on his next turn.
Natty Wonder
Oh, is that how it works?
Doug Boone
Because if he does it at the end of this turn, I think it's like a Whole round.
Natty Wonder
I didn't want to stop you from doing anything. I just want to make sure you didn't waste any rage things because I want you to have all your rage. You have because it's very important.
Tolv
Full transparency. I'm also confident I'll get attacked. This guy didn't like me. I don't know if you're.
Doug Boone
You're also in glue, so he might try to.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, okay, good. Yeah.
John Risinger
I believe you get advantage on strength based rolls while you're raging. So if you'd raged and then tried to get out of the glue, you might have had a better chance. That's why I'd message you that lessons learned.
Natty Wonder
What do you mean you messaged him that? Why don't you just say it?
John Risinger
Well, it was after he already done it and so didn't really.
Natty Wonder
Oh, oh.
Gunther
It's cause he doesn't want to get called out for metagaming.
Tolv
Listen, if you get a DM behind you, your dm, then I get a little guy behind me. My little guy.
Natty Wonder
To the Council of Barbarians. Because it's like Barbara, Blaine and Chris.
Tolv
Are like Council of Barbarians. That is awesome. Don.
Doug Boone
You know you have to play one next campaign.
Natty Wonder
I don't. Now with that in mind, I don't want to because I want to let you guys just be the Council of Barbarians and I'll just be the other guy.
John Risinger
I don't think much would get done.
Tolv
What are the Council of Barbarians even discuss? Do we rage? Thank you, Elgo.
Gunther
What's new in rage this year?
Doug Boone
It's all the rage, Gus.
Natty Wonder
Council barbarians Sounds like a podcast of boys that I wouldn't want to watch.
Tolv
First order of business. Gum. Gum. You've got to clean up after yourself in the public toilet.
Natty Wonder
It's like what we do in shadows, but just barbarians in a house together.
Doug Boone
That's really funny.
Gunther
Sounds like a new reality show I'd watch.
Doug Boone
That sounds like some good Patreon bonus content.
Natty Wonder
There you go.
Gunther
So we'll say that the rage thing is fine. I think strictly by the letter of the rule. You would have to attack or get damage this round. But it's fine. It's whatever.
Tolv
Cool.
Gunther
Again, not setting a precedent. Just saying this now in case it comes up again later.
Natty Wonder
Okay. Can't wait to make the shirt that's not setting a precedent so that Gus can wear it all the time.
Gunther
I'll just point to the shirt.
Tolv
Thank you, most honorable Gus.
Doug Boone
All right.
Gunther
Is that it for you told?
Tolv
Yeah.
Gunther
Okay.
Tolv
I still cheered the team on though. I just want to make sure that's clear.
Natty Wonder
Very clear. Yeah.
Tolv
Okay.
Doug Boone
Is your mouth covered in glue, though? So.
Natty Wonder
No, he got all the glue off.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, yeah.
Natty Wonder
That's what Gus gave him.
Gunther
I'm gonna. I'll let you on a secret. If you rolled poorly, I was gonna say your hands were gonna be stuck in the glue too, and you were gonna be, like, double restrained. Okay, that's it for to Natty. You are up.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, Natty is going to. Natty's gonna turn to Gigi. He's like, gigi, do you want. You want to try that move we've been working on? And Gigi, like, turns back, and he's like.
Doug Boone
And Maddie, the way Discord muffled her sound.
Tolv
Yeah, it sounded, like terrible through Discord, but it's hilarious.
Natty Wonder
Maddie grabs Giggy's leash and starts kind of like spinning around like a shot clip thrower.
Gunther
Cool.
Natty Wonder
And then let's go. And releases Gigi at the magistrate.
Gunther
Your son is a weapon.
Barbara Dunkelman
Heck yeah.
Natty Wonder
He's very powerful, and he's a good boy.
Doug Boone
I don't have him poop on him. It's hot. It's hot poop.
Natty Wonder
It's hot.
Gunther
He just went.
Natty Wonder
It's not on his actions list. Or I'm like, we'll totally do that. Maybe we can level up Gigi and give him that, you know, the bad.
Tolv
Guy in Matilda trench bull or whatever.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tolv
You did that.
Natty Wonder
You did that thing with the hair. How far away is the magistrate?
Gunther
Question. Let me open up the map. Sorry.
Natty Wonder
Now that he moved 10ft away from.
Doug Boone
Me, open up that map astray. I'll let myself out of here.
Gunther
Get out. Plus 10ft is about 30ft away.
Natty Wonder
Okay. Can Gigi do a claw attack on the magistrate?
Gunther
Absolutely.
Natty Wonder
Okay. As he flies at the magistrate, I.
Gunther
Can'T tell Gigi what to do.
Natty Wonder
Okay.
Tolv
Don't put Gigi in a corner.
Doug Boone
Nobody puts.
Natty Wonder
And I'm gonna roll for a claw attack, which is plus 4 to hit. I rolled a 13, so 17.
Gunther
That is a hit.
Natty Wonder
It takes 1d4. It's 3 plus 3. So 6 piercing damage, and the target must succeed on a DC10 constitution saving throw or take some poison damage and become poisoned.
Gunther
Okay, I've got a plus one to constitution, so I need to roll a nine or better.
Natty Wonder
Cool.
Tolv
Roll a six.
Gunther
Even worse, I rolled a two, so that's a.
Tolv
That's a fair direction.
Natty Wonder
That's 2D4 poison damage. One plus two, so three poison damage, and you are poisoned for one minute. Target can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, ending the effect on itself on a successful success.
Doug Boone
Doug sees this happening and goes, note yourself.
Barbara Dunkelman
Never upset Gigi or Nyadi.
Natty Wonder
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Doug Boone
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Gunther
STINKY this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Chime. We've all been there spending more than we should, especially now during the holidays. Well, it's time to take control of your finances by using a Chime checking account with features like no monthly or maintenance fees, fee free overdraft up to $200, or getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. It's a rite of passage. I think just about everybody has experienced an overdraft and you get overdraft fees and it just kind of help. It just further pushes you down. It's harder to dig your way out of. Well, Chime will allow you to overdraft $200 with no fees. It's really a financial tech company with a sense of community. You should join millions of Chime members who are working on financial progress. Chime helps with fee free overdraft of $200. Your next deposit supplied to your balance. You get spotted on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. No monthly fees, no maintenance fees and over 50,000 fee free ATMs. To date, Chime has spotted members over $32 billion in transactions through SpotMe. Friends giving friends a boost Eligible members get complimentary boosts to temporarily increase a friend's SpotMe limit. When you give a boost, they can boost you back temporarily. R.A. raise your limit. Just set up direct deposit in your Chime account. After qualifying direct deposit of 200 or more, Chime will notify you to enroll in Spot Meet with an activated debit card. Chime will spot you up to 200 on debit card purchases and cash withdrawals. Your next direct deposit is applied to your negative balance and Chime never charges overdraft fees for using Spot Me. Enjoy the holidays while keeping your financial goals on track with Chime. Open your account in 2 minutes at chime.com dragon that's chime.com dragon Chime feels like progress Banking services and debit card provided by The Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC SpotMe eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Direct deposit Timing Depends on submission of payment file. Boosts are available to eligible Chime members enrolled in SpotMe and subject to monthly limits. Fees apply to out of network ATMs and for OTC withdrawals. Okay, so, yeah, Natty sends Gigi flying at the Magistrate claws first. And I like to think that Giggy, like, attaches to the magistrate's face and just begins going to town before hopping off.
Natty Wonder
Just a cat being dropped on someone's face.
Gunther
That's what it is.
Natty Wonder
I didn't even think this through just because I thought it'd be fun to do this. Is that my action that I threw the child?
Gunther
I think that's an action.
Natty Wonder
Okay.
Doug Boone
I mean, you did something.
Tolv
Chris, you sound different today.
Natty Wonder
No, that's fine.
John Risinger
It's true.
Gunther
Blink, you get inspiration dog.
Tolv
I already got one. Who needs it?
Natty Wonder
Barbara, Bonus action. I'm going to cast Hex on Magistrate, which I should have done beforehand, but I'm new to being a warlock. All right. You place a curse on a creature that you can see within range until the spell ends. You deal an extra 1d6 necrotic damage to the target whenever you hit it with an attack.
Gunther
Attack. Ooh.
Natty Wonder
And I also get to choose one ability when I cast the spell. The target has disadvantage on ability. Checks made with the chosen ability constitution. Wait, disadvantage?
John Risinger
Can I make a request?
Natty Wonder
What?
Gunther
You gotta say this. Gunther, though.
Natty Wonder
Yeah.
John Risinger
Okay.
Gunther
Okay.
John Risinger
Yeah. Either wisdom or strength.
Natty Wonder
Why?
John Risinger
Because it will make him fall.
Natty Wonder
Fine. I'm a team player. This is Natty saying yes. And strength.
Gunther
All right. Disadvantage on strength checks.
Natty Wonder
End of turn.
Gunther
All right, so that was Natty's turn. That means Gunther, you're up after Gunther is dug.
Tolv
Gunther.
John Risinger
All right, how far away is Gunther from him?
Gunther
You're probably the same as Natty. I'd say, roughly, you all are about 30ft away from the magistrate. All of you.
Doug Boone
And how close to each other? Just for my reference difference, I pictured.
Gunther
You all were, like, side by side looking. Because y'all were looking at the chest.
Natty Wonder
We came through that.
Gunther
Yeah, yeah. When Gunther. When Tolv hit it.
John Risinger
So 30ft, specifically.
Gunther
Yeah.
John Risinger
Okay. All right. Well, Gunther's gonna move the 25ft walking speed that he has forward, and then going to use his is gonna throw out a hand axe.
Gunther
Okay, Just so you know, if he's 30ft away and you move 25ft, you're in the square next to him.
John Risinger
So that's enough.
Gunther
He is within melee range. Yes.
John Risinger
Okay, well, then he'll do that and then make an attack with his sword.
Gunther
All right. No, no, Gunther, put your phone away. Now's not the time to be using that.
Tolv
Ah.
Doug Boone
That was not a good roll app question.
John Risinger
Yeah, that was a ten.
Gunther
Mm. A ten is a miss. Gigi starts laughing at you.
Tolv
Inspiration.
John Risinger
Wait, I don't have one. You can't give it to Barb.
Natty Wonder
I roll the five. He does laugh at him.
Tolv
Here, take this. Don't eat it. Don't eat it.
John Risinger
Can he do that? Is that okay, Gus? What?
Gunther
Give an inspiration die.
John Risinger
Yeah, like that.
Gunther
Yeah, I think we're. We said before. I didn't want to bring it up because I don't want to slow things down, but I think what we had said before was that you can give the inspiration die if the person's going to use it immediately. So like when you gave it to Doug earlier, that was like n. Whatever. But yeah, I think this is the perfect use case. Like if the person. If you're going to give it and they use it immediately. Absolutely. But big asterisk here to what do you do to inspire Gunther?
Tolv
Oh, I say.
Doug Boone
Perfect.
Tolv
No, no, no. I'm trying to think of a stupid law pun because I had so many when I was Sawyer, and I'm trying to think of those. Yeah, I lost it. I don't know. Go get him, Gunther. You can do it, frogman. Stab him with your sword. Your long sword. That is like one inch long.
Gunther
I don't know yet.
John Risinger
Thank you.
Tolv
I'll do it.
John Risinger
Or shall perish trying.
Tolv
Oh, no, don't do that.
John Risinger
I really hope I.
Gunther
All right, yeah, go ahead. You feel Inspired.
John Risinger
All right. 24.
Gunther
24. The magistrate looks at you, Gunther, and just says, overruled. Roll. Again.
John Risinger
Again.
Natty Wonder
That was easy.
Doug Boone
Lucky.
John Risinger
All right.
Tolv
That ability is broken. How dare you use it?
Doug Boone
I feel like he hasn't taken a long run essence using the three luck points he used on on told last time.
Gunther
Who's to say it's luck that he has?
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, yeah.
Natty Wonder
When Gus said it's something like luck, it's like lucky.
Gunther
It's not quite the same thing.
Tolv
It suck. That's what it is.
John Risinger
What about a 19?
Gunther
A 19? Yeah. All right, fine. I'm not. You're not Blaine. I'm not going to use every single option I have on you.
John Risinger
All right? And then I also want to use trip attack. With that, when you hit with the weapon attack, you can spend one superiority die to add the total to the damage roll. And if the target is large or smaller, it must make a strength saving throw. On a failure, you knock the target prone. That's why I wanted the strength thing.
Gunther
Okay. But that's a saving throw. He has disadvantage on checks.
Tolv
We could fudge the numbers. We can fudge the wording, right?
Natty Wonder
Dang it, Chris. I had it set for constitution, so you at least stay poisoned. And I changed it for you.
Tolv
That's okay. This is part of the montage where we're improving. You know, we made a goof em up, but we'll come back stronger.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, this is. This is the first fight where we do bad. Yeah, it shows how cool we are. Later.
Tolv
It's like second only.
Gunther
You know, you all fought the Demongrals.
Natty Wonder
This is like our first fight against the Magistrate.
John Risinger
I was about to say, I thought we just locked them up and then. Sh.
Tolv
I don't want to talk about it.
Gunther
All right, go ahead and let's roll your damage and we'll figure out the rest. The other stuff.
John Risinger
All right. Damage, that's 11, plus the superiority die, which is. So that's 16.
Gunther
Ooh, 16 points of damage. You do a lot of damage, Gunther.
John Risinger
Thank you.
Gunther
And then what kind of saving throw do I need to make?
John Risinger
That's strength.
Gunther
The magistrate has a plus one on strength. So what's the number? I need the D.C. 14. 14. So I need a 13 or better.
Tolv
Roll a two again.
Gunther
10. 11.
Barbara Dunkelman
All right.
Gunther
Great.
John Risinger
All right, so he's prone now. Whoopsie.
Tolv
Oh, my God, I hate you guys.
Gunther
All right, so he is prone. Writing that down. Poisoned and prone. Great. Awesome.
Doug Boone
Wouldn't it be funny if we killed him right now? He seems like a pretty big bad guy.
Gunther
Yeah, love it.
Natty Wonder
Well, we don't have to kill him. Cause I'd still like to question this guy. So we can do the thing where it's like we take him down to incapacitate.
John Risinger
Yeah.
Gunther
Yeah. All right. Is that it for you, Gunther?
John Risinger
That is it.
Gunther
All right. Gunther is done. That means it is Doug, then the Magistrate, then back to the top with Tor.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay. I see all my. All my fellow teammates fighting. So I'm gonna do. I'm gonna try to do some damage too.
Tolv
Okay?
Gunther
Yeah. Okay.
Doug Boone
I got this.
Tolv
You got.
Gunther
You can figure this out.
Barbara Dunkelman
I can figure this out. All right. Doug's gonna cast Firebolt at the magistrate.
Doug Boone
20.
Gunther
Yeah, that hits.
Doug Boone
So I also want to point out. And I'll do this after I roll my damage, but Doug has something called surprise attack. If I hit a creature with an attack roll, the creature takes an extra 2d6 damage if it hasn't taken its turn yet.
Natty Wonder
Oh, that's why you're asking where he is in the order in combat specifically.
Doug Boone
So it's three damage from the fire.
Natty Wonder
Bolt, and then 2D6.
Doug Boone
And then 2D6.
Gunther
Okay.
Doug Boone
And that's additional seven. So it's 10 total. Does it look to be, like, extra effective on him?
Gunther
Extra effective? I wouldn't say that necessarily. It seems pretty standard based on your experience with it.
Barbara Dunkelman
And then after this, Doug says, at this time, the defense rests this case.
Tolv
Oh, that's good.
Gunther
Yeah, I love it.
Tolv
Wait, so were you asking that. Cause it's Firebolt. And would they be immune or would.
Doug Boone
They be open, like, vulnerable to it? Yeah, I don't know.
Natty Wonder
Well, the magistrate's a.
Doug Boone
What do we know what kind of creature?
Natty Wonder
He's not a demongral.
Gunther
A fiend. A fiend.
Tolv
Fiend.
Doug Boone
Okay.
John Risinger
He's no fiend to me.
Gunther
All right, that's it for you, Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
Yes, that is it.
Gunther
Okay.
Doug Boone
And I'm gonna stay where I am.
Gunther
All right. Finally, the magistrate's turn. The magistrate rises to his feet, and you hear him say, let's set the record straight.
Tolv
And.
Gunther
And he's going to. I guess Gunther's. Gunther and Geeky are in his face. He's probably gonna go after Gunther because Gunther did more damage.
John Risinger
Okay.
Natty Wonder
Okay.
Barbara Dunkelman
Well, you didn't like my 10 whole damage points for my.
Gunther
Well, you're further away. I think he's. He's looking at the enemies right in front of him.
Tolv
Well, it's because he spent his movement speed on getting up. Because he knocked his butt down.
Gunther
Yeah, that too.
Tolv
Don't act like you don't. You're gonna take on the guys around you because you want to. It's because you have to.
Gunther
All right. He'll go for you next.
Tolv
Do it.
Gunther
I know. That's just blink trying to draw aggro.
Natty Wonder
That's he's trying to get at you.
Tolv
No, I just bet you can't hit me from all the way over there.
Natty Wonder
All right, so the pitcher's got a big butt.
Tolv
Pitcher's got.
Gunther
The magistrate winds up with his hammer and tries to bring it down on Gunther, hitting a ac.
Doug Boone
I'm imagining it makes, like, a squeaky toy noise anytime someone.
Gunther
So 15 plus 5 hits ac 20.
John Risinger
That will hit. Believe it or not, hits.
Gunther
All right. The mallet comes down on you doing eight points of damage. Oh, and you must make a wisdom saving throw.
Doug Boone
Wisdom.
Tolv
Yeah, joke's on you. Gunther's the wisest of us all. Go ahead, show him Gunther.
John Risinger
10.
Tolv
Okay, never mind.
John Risinger
He's not unwise. He's got a plus one.
Tolv
Yeah.
Gunther
As the matchmake strikes you, Gunther, he.
Tolv
Says you can't handle the truth and.
Gunther
You take some additional psychic damage.
Tolv
Jack Nicholson. Cool.
Doug Boone
Oh, guys.
Barbara Dunkelman
So I seen Legally Blind. Someone just has to dress in pink and then really tell them what's what.
Tolv
I know this.
Gunther
Six points of psychic damage, Gunther.
John Risinger
So 16 total.
Gunther
Yes.
John Risinger
Ouchiez.
Tolv
That's nothing. That's nothing to him. He can take more. I mean.
Gunther
All right, so I think the. The magistrate hears you there. It says that pleases the court. And he winds his mallet up and takes another swing at Gunther.
Tolv
Sorry, Gunther.
Natty Wonder
With friends like to why you need enemies?
Gunther
Oh, that's only an eight.
John Risinger
Okay, that misses. And you know what I riposte. When a creature misses you with a melee attack, you can use your reaction and expend one superiority die to make a melee weapon attack against him. Superiority die. T attack damage roll on her every.
Natty Wonder
Single word he's melee saying. Or the first time he's ever said that word out loud.
Tolv
That frog's not good at reading, but he's good at attacking.
Natty Wonder
It's okay. I called it Super Smash Brothers Melee as well. Cause I never heard of it before.
Doug Boone
Can't wait to eat this delicious mealy.
John Risinger
Can I do that, Gus?
Gunther
Yeah, absolutely.
Tolv
All according to Tol's plan.
Doug Boone
It'd be funny if after all that, you went. No.
John Risinger
Does a 14 hit?
Gunther
Yeah, a 14 does hit.
John Risinger
Yay.
Gunther
You know what? Nah. Roll it again.
John Risinger
Oh, man. Sneaky.
Tolv
God, that's annoying.
Gunther
It is, right?
John Risinger
10.
Gunther
No, that doesn't get. Sorry.
Tolv
Come on.
Gunther
As you riposte and miss, the magistrate says, I hold you in contempt.
John Risinger
You already said that one.
Gunther
In that case, he says you are excused.
John Risinger
Okay, Bye bye. Does that mean I can go?
Gunther
Or maybe on your turn. On your turn you can. All right. So that was it for you? That was your reaction to him? Yeah, he attacked twice. He hit once, missed the other one. He's got. I have two options here. I'm just trying to. Wait. Which one is the best in this situation?
Natty Wonder
Go with option two.
Gunther
Option two.
Natty Wonder
Okay, option two.
Gunther
In that case, the magistrate looks at Tolv. You remember this stair, Tolf? He's done this to you once before.
Tolv
Yoo hoo.
Gunther
And a cloud of smoke crackles over your head. Make me a wisdom saving throw, Tolf.
Tolv
Wisdom saving throw.
Gunther
What?
John Risinger
He's poisoned, right? He should have disadvantage on his attack rolls. Did you do that?
Gunther
Oh. Since only the first one hit, let me reroll that new evidence.
Barbara Dunkelman
Your Honor, I present the court with exhibit A. Exhibit A.
John Risinger
The defendant was poisoned.
Gunther
17. So I think the other one was a 20.
John Risinger
So that's my armor class is 17.
Gunther
Yeah.
Natty Wonder
So it matches that hit.
Tolv
Yeah.
Natty Wonder
Damn wisdom.
Gunther
Oh, yeah. So make me a wisdom saving throw.
Tolv
Okie dokie. Oh, that's a 19. Oh. Why you look so frustrated, Gus? What's wrong?
Gunther
The cloud of smoke dissipates over your head.
Tolv
Did someone fart? It wasn't me.
Natty Wonder
Gus is going to enjoy killing 12 of these.
Tolv
I think that's my turn, is it not?
Gunther
Sorry. Yeah. Just replying to one thing here.
Tolv
He's texting his mom saying, come pick me up. My friends are being mean.
Gunther
So that's all the magistrate can do. He's going to roll that check to see if the poison clears. DC 10. I believe he needs a nine or better. 17. 18. So yeah, the poison leaves the magistrate's system. He feels much better.
Tolv
Roll it again.
Gunther
Do you have lucky? You don't have lucky.
Doug Boone
That's just Blaine telling you to roll again.
Gunther
But he is still hexed and does still have disadvantage on strength checks. All right, that is it for the magistrate, which means we go back up to the top with Tolv. And then after Tolv is natty a number one.
Tolv
No more glue on me. I'm coming for you. So I'm gonna move 25ft towards the magistrate.
Gunther
You move up where Gunther and Gigi are.
Tolv
And then I pull out my warhammer and it's two handed because I've got no shields on me to hold me down. Yeah. And I strike. And that is a.
Gunther
His head is in his hands, ladies and gentlemen.
Natty Wonder
A one.
Doug Boone
But you're a plus five. So even if there's a six, you know, it's not nothing but.
Tolv
Yeah. Does anybody got a boat? Does anybody got a.
Gunther
You gave all your inspiration D away.
Tolv
It was so giving. Anybody got inspiration.
Doug Boone
Could I. I mean, I know that he probably gave it to me under circumstances that aren't allowed, but could I give the inspiration die that Tolv got back to him?
Gunther
Yes. And this is the case where I think it applies, where you can give it and someone immediately uses it.
Doug Boone
Okay, here you go.
Natty Wonder
So according to the rules to should have never been able to give it in the first place. So it's his anyways.
Tolv
Thank you, Barbara. Okay, I roll it again. 17. Yay. There you go. Wow. And then I get bonus set.
Natty Wonder
Do it. Do it, guys. Do it, guys.
Gunther
Thinking about it.
Tolv
There was three lucky points for. For Korg.
Gunther
Yeah.
Tolv
Well.
Gunther
Well, I'll let this one hit. I'll let this One stand.
Tolv
I feel I can. I can't talk trash. Now. What do I do? All right. It's all real damage.
Natty Wonder
Yeah.
Tolv
Also because I'm raging. I gain advantage on strength checks and saving throws. Plus two melee damage with your strength weapons. That was an eight.
Gunther
Plus three.
Tolv
That's an 11. Plus an additional two because I'm raging. So that's 13.
Gunther
Okay.
Tolv
Plus I have the Stara of the Sea. You gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage as a bonus action on each of your turns. When activated, one creature of your choice is in your aura. Takes lightning damage dexterity. DC13, half damage on success based on your level. I'm level three, so that's 1D6.
Gunther
All right, so DC13, what kind of save was it?
Tolv
A Dex.
Gunther
Dex. All right, you got it, dude. Dex is plus one. So I need a 12 or better.
Tolv
Roll like a three if you could.
Gunther
Oh, how about a 19? So that is plus one. Twitch. That is a successful save.
Tolv
So I'll roll a D6 and cut it in half. It's a six. That's not bad. I'll still take it. Three points of damage.
Gunther
All right, Lightning.
Tolv
So 16 points total.
Gunther
Yeah. The magistrate kind of leans in a little bit to you Toll, and asks.
Tolv
Could we have a sidebar? Oh, are you asking or is this another catchphrase? Because I'll talk. I'll talk.
John Risinger
You need more circuit training.
Tolv
My gavel's bigger than yours.
John Risinger
What circuit was because electricity, cuz.
Tolv
Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
John Risinger
You know how those jokes are always.
Tolv
Better if you need more circuit training than a wink at goon.
Gunther
Circuit is also a court thing. That's.
John Risinger
That's how. It's what I was getting at.
Gunther
Yeah, yeah.
Tolv
Meaning it's good. It's good. It's. It's not bad. Anyways, who's attacking Meg?
Natty Wonder
Is it my turn now?
Gunther
I'm just waiting.
Natty Wonder
I'm just waiting for this conversation to end.
Gunther
Yeah, same.
Tolv
Yes. That was both my attack, my movement, and my bonus action. Okay, I rest my case.
Gunther
Natty, you are up. And then after Natty is Gunther.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay, Natty.
Natty Wonder
Nattie's just gonna crack her knuckles and do what she does best and just send out an Eldritch blast to hit this judge. Woo.
Gunther
All right.
Tolv
Yeah.
Natty Wonder
15.
Gunther
Yeah, that hits.
Natty Wonder
Okay, six plus three sets. Nine force damage plus three damage. Cause the agonizing blast. I'm going to not push him away this time. Okay, but I also forgot that I have another thing. Genie's wrath. Once during each of your turns, when you hit with an attack roll, you can deal an extra two Thunder damage to the target. Ooh, so two Thunder damage as well.
John Risinger
I have a question.
Gunther
The court recognizes Chris Damaris.
John Risinger
If he was to be pushed away by Eldritch Blast, would that invoke an opportunity attack?
Gunther
Ooh, I don't know.
Natty Wonder
Oh, you're the one that's supposed to tell us. I don't know. It's not the answer we usually get from Gus.
Gunther
No, it's forced movement that's not on his turn, so it does not trigger. Gotcha.
John Risinger
Okay.
Tolv
I like where your head's at, Gunther. Min Max. It.
John Risinger
It is underneath his hammer.
Gunther
That was 100% Chris. That was not Gunther. Do not address Gunther.
Tolv
That was Gunther.
Natty Wonder
Oh. He also takes necrotic damage because of the hex. So two necrotic damage.
Gunther
God, it's like, little by little, it's like, wow. Not any one thing does a ton of damage, but it's just like this and this and this.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Doug Boone
If he's a fiend, is he, like, immune to necrotic damage?
Tolv
Also? What's your stance on us Googling that? Probably post, right?
Gunther
Do not Google it. That's definitely metagame.
Natty Wonder
Why don't you say. I will say, technically, Gigi is a fiend, and Gigi is not immune to necrotic damage. But I don't know if that's a fiend thing for everybody, Doug, Why don't.
Gunther
You make me a. Let's call it a history check.
Barbara Dunkelman
Okay. Sorry to interrupt. I just need to do a quick history check.
Tolv
It's okay. Read your book, Doug. It's cool.
Barbara Dunkelman
That's a 23.
Gunther
Oh, you don't think that fiends, especially because you know about Gigi. You don't. I think fiends are inherently resistant to that as a damage type.
Tolv
Yeah.
Natty Wonder
Okay.
Gunther
As your Eldritch blast strikes the Magistrate, it kind of knocks him down a little bit. Then he looks up at you, Natty, and says, you remind me of a.
Tolv
Baker I once knew. They love to receive just desserts.
Barbara Dunkelman
It's getting meta.
Tolv
You laid a lot of track on that one there, Magistrate. But you got theirs.
Natty Wonder
And then can Giggy take an attack?
Gunther
Yeah.
Natty Wonder
Okay. Then Gigi's gonna do another claw at the face, and he's going to roll a. Oh, that's a 13.
Gunther
Yeah, that's a miss.
Natty Wonder
Okay, then Gigi just licks him instead.
Gunther
Oh, sweet.
Natty Wonder
No, but, like, I just, like, just, like, all over him.
Gunther
I picture Gigi's tongue is like a cat's tongue. It's got, like. It's, like, super rough.
Natty Wonder
Yeah, but it's rough both ways. No matter which direction.
Gunther
I hate it.
John Risinger
Weird.
Tolv
Did we. Did we proc the blinded condition with Gigi's drool? Not kidding.
Natty Wonder
And then that'll be it for me.
Gunther
All right, that's it for Natty. That means Gunther is up. And then after Gunther is Doug, and then the magistrate.
Natty Wonder
Oh, that was a mateed reference.
Doug Boone
Yes, Blaine.
Tolv
We got there. We got there.
John Risinger
I want to use my bonus action to second wind myself once per short rest. I can use bonus action to regain one D10 plus three GP.
Gunther
Okay.
Natty Wonder
I second wind myself.
Gunther
Also, the name of our bonus show, if you go to stinkydragonpod.com second wind is the show we put out every other week all about what happened in each episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Tolv
Yeah, it's good.
Barbara Dunkelman
It's good.
Gunther
Available at every level on the patreon@stinkydragonpod.com.
John Risinger
That'S not much. Oh, well. Well, two plus, I think it's a lot.
Gunther
It's a lot of value.
Tolv
It's a lot of value. Chris, our Patreon's great.
Doug Boone
Yeah.
Gunther
Oh, sorry.
John Risinger
I thought you were talking about my 5 HP. All right, and then for my action, I'm a attack.
Gunther
Okay, Stabby, do it. I dare you.
Doug Boone
He's daring you. You gotta do it now.
Gunther
Oh.
John Risinger
25 rivet.
Gunther
Wow.
Tolv
Let it roll. Hit.
Gunther
Yeah, roll.
Barbara Dunkelman
Let it roll.
Tolv
Okay, Finish it.
John Risinger
And you know what?
Tolv
What?
John Risinger
I want to do it again. I want to try the trip attack again. Oh, okay.
Gunther
Okay.
John Risinger
So I'm gonna. You have to make a strength saving throw of 14.
Gunther
Okay, so I need a 13 or better.
Tolv
Roll a seven.
Gunther
It's a two. I'll take it.
Natty Wonder
Yes.
Gunther
I'm sick of failing these. So he's gonna use a legendary resistance and instead chooses to succeed on that one.
Doug Boone
Oh, my God. How do I get that ability?
Tolv
How many do you have of these? Huh?
Gunther
Well, this is legendary resistance, which is separate from the other thing.
Doug Boone
Oh, wow. This guy is powerful.
Tolv
Yeah.
John Risinger
So that's an eight. Damage.
Gunther
Okay.
John Risinger
And then Action Surge.
Doug Boone
You have an Action Surge.
Gunther
Yay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. New action Surge just dropped.
Tolv
Gave me shivers.
John Risinger
And I'm going to do it again. The whole thing.
Gunther
Okay.
John Risinger
Hot stab again. That's 18.
Gunther
Get off your phone, Gunther. Yeah, that hits. I'm gonna make that joke every time.
Doug Boone
Even better.
Tolv
We use Cyborg's Action Surge line for whenever Gunther Action Surges.
Barbara Dunkelman
He's his own man.
Gunther
Yeah, he had his own take. On it.
Tolv
All I'm saying is two of the five of us are wearing cyborg shirts. His legend lives on.
John Risinger
The council of Barbarians shall wear only one shirt, that of a archer fighter. And then I'm gonna once again try and trip.
Gunther
Okay.
John Risinger
That hit, right?
Gunther
Yeah. 18 hits.
John Risinger
So you can make a strength roll.
Gunther
Oh, I thought you were doing damage. Okay, yeah, I'm gonna make the roll plus one. That's an 11. Which fails. He's gonna use another legendary resistance.
Doug Boone
Oh my God.
Gunther
Legendary resistance. He has three of in a day. So that's two of them.
Doug Boone
So he just chooses.
Gunther
Yeah.
Tolv
So you have three legendary resistances. And I'm assuming you have lucky as well, right?
Gunther
I don't know if he has. Like I said, it's not lucky. It's something else. It's a. It's a specific thing that he has laid on me.
Tolv
Why you? We're friends here. We can talk. What is it?
Gunther
Thumb to the scales. It's a homebrew thing.
Tolv
You're not going to find it to counter. Oh. Oh, come on.
Gunther
This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Butcherbox. You can get incredible deals on premium cuts from Butcherbox. Deals this good are hard to come by at the grocery store. They've got a variety of high quality cuts of meat at an amazing value. They've got great deals for members and on top of that, they have recipe inspiration, guides, tips, hacks. It's super convenient. It comes right to your door. Free shipping like always. I love it when I get a box because I just get to get it open up. Go straight to my fridge. If you don't want to use a recipe inspiration, you can figure out what you want to do yourself with the meat here. In my last box, I had some ribeye that I grilled. I had some ground beef I cooked in some pasta sauce. I have some pork ribs. I haven't made anything yet. I think I'm gonna make a stew with those. But all kinds of options. Huge variety of different kinds of meat and protein you can get there. And if you want some, you could sign up@butcherbox.com StinkyDragon get our special deal. New users sign up for butcherbox receive 2 pounds of grass fed ground beef in every box for the lifetime of their subscription. Plus 20 off your first box. Use code stinky dragon at checkout. Again, that's butcherbox.com stinky dragon and use code Stinky Dragon at check out.
Tolv
So you're getting hungry. Really hungry. Head to Jack in the box. And pick up a Smash Jack. It's a juicy, delicious smashed burger topped with cheese, pickles, grilled onions, and boss sauce. And it's now available on Sourdough. The Smash Jack. Only a Jack in the box? Order one on the Jack app today.
Gunther
This episode is brought to you by Etsy. Oh, hear that?
Tolv
Okay, thank you.
Gunther
Etsy knows these aren't the sounds of holiday gifting. Well, not the ones you're hoping for. You want squeals of delight, Happy tears?
Tolv
How did you.
Gunther
And spontaneously written songs of joy?
Tolv
I am so happy.
Gunther
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, okay, the song needs a bit of work, but anyway, to get those reactions, make sure everyone on your list feels heard with handmade, handpicked, and designed gifts from small shops online. Etsy gifts like personalized jewelry, custom artwork, cozy style items, vintage pieces, and home decor to celebrate all of your favorite people and their specific kind of special. For original gifts that say I get you, Etsy has it. You couldn't tell. Thumb to the scales. It's a very judicial thing.
Tolv
I don't know.
Doug Boone
Because he could tip the scales in whatever way he wants.
John Risinger
Cheating anyway, so I did eight points of damage.
Gunther
Eight points of damage.
John Risinger
I'm trying to think of any courtroom puns.
Tolv
Something about recess.
John Risinger
Looks like you are courting trouble.
Gunther
Really good, man. It was okay.
Tolv
No, it's pretty solid.
Barbara Dunkelman
I would give it like, a C.
John Risinger
Plus question for your honor.
Gunther
You may proceed.
John Risinger
Were those. Were any of those reactions?
Gunther
No, it's not. That's why he can do it multiple times.
John Risinger
Okay, then that is my turn.
Gunther
All right, Doug, you're up.
Doug Boone
I do a quick perception check to see. I don't know if we really, like, looked around this room very much. So could I see if there's anything else in there other than, like, the chests and stuff like that. Like any other doors or any other maybe, like, supplies?
Gunther
Weapons? Good question.
Tolv
Where those cannons were in here?
Gunther
So this room is rather large, and it has. It has stone walls and floor with no windows, a high ceiling, and it's lit by lanterns. There's metal double doors to the north, workbenches on either side of that door, and there's wooden racks that line the room holding weapons, armor, and shields. There's a cannon to the west and a balcony to the south with the chests on it. And that's where you guys went. And that's where 12 hit those chests.
Doug Boone
And are those metal doors open or closed?
Gunther
No, they are closed.
Tolv
Okay.
Gunther
Make me. Let's just call it a perception check. Doug.
Doug Boone
20.
Gunther
Yeah. Okay. Looking around the room, you can see that in the racks of weapons, each row carries different items. Martial weapons, leather armor, things like that. As far as the workbenches, the one to the west has a furnace with an anvil. The cannon appears to be an iron cannon on wheels with a handful of cannonballs by it. On the balcony are the four chests you found. And the lanterns are bronze lanterns that are lit around the room. Room one of which appears to be out.
Doug Boone
One lantern is out?
Gunther
Yeah.
Doug Boone
I don't know what the significance of that is.
Tolv
What if we lit the lantern with the cannon?
Doug Boone
I assume it's like a full size cannon that's facing. Is it just in the room facing inwards, or is it's like up against.
Gunther
The west wall facing to the north, like it's being stored here? It is an armory.
Doug Boone
Okay, true. And what kind of weapons did you say were on the wall? You said like a bunch of different random ones.
Gunther
They're not on the wall. They're like within the racks that are throughout the room. There are martial weapons, different kinds of leather armor, shields, some fancy suits of armor. Ooh.
Barbara Dunkelman
Ooh.
Gunther
Okay, I'll say it. You recognize him? It's like officer armor.
Doug Boone
Oh, okay, so nothing like super magical, special, crazy powerful.
Gunther
Do you have detect magic? No.
Natty Wonder
Barb had this look where it was like, both, like, challenge accepted, but I don't know.
Doug Boone
Definitely. Probably not. Okay, how close am I to Tolv right now?
Gunther
You stayed up by the chests. Tolv advanced 25ft up to the magistrate, who is 30ft away.
Tolv
Hi, Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
Ah, dang it. Okay, I was gonna do something, but you're a little too far away, I think, for me. I'm a little too scared to get that close to the magistrate.
Tolv
Understood.
Barbara Dunkelman
He's very intimidating.
Tolv
What if I walked back towards you?
Gunther
The magistrate looks at you, Doug, and says, proceed to the bench. Oh.
Barbara Dunkelman
Pass.
Doug Boone
Okay. So am I close enough to touch either Natty or Gunther?
Natty Wonder
Currently, I'm next to you.
Gunther
Natty's right by you. Gunther is also up where told us.
Natty Wonder
Hey, Dag.
Barbara Dunkelman
Hi, Natty. Listen, I just, you know, you're doing so great, and I want to help you do greato. So I'm going to give you a little touch on the shoulder and cast guidance.
Tolv
Ooh.
Natty Wonder
Oh.
Doug Boone
So I touch a willing quicho, which I assume is Natty.
Natty Wonder
I'm very willing.
Doug Boone
And once before the spell ends, the target can roll a D4 and add that number roll to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before or after making the ability check.
Gunther
Yeah. Nice.
Doug Boone
The spell then ends after that.
Natty Wonder
I am mildly familiar with guidance.
Barbara Dunkelman
All right, Natty, I believe in you.
Doug Boone
And he touches her shoulder.
Natty Wonder
Oh, my gosh. That's all I need in life.
Doug Boone
But he does like a. Like one of those, like, pats on the shoulder.
Gunther
Yeah. Cute.
Doug Boone
Because Doug's not used to human conduct.
Gunther
I've never related to Doug more in my life.
Doug Boone
And then that's it.
Natty Wonder
Cool.
Doug Boone
Simple.
Gunther
All right, it is the magistrate's turn. Okay, the magistrate's in here. He's got. Got to. And Gunther and Gigi in front of him. Bet you won't hit me here by the racks. Tolv really wants to get hit for some reason. The magistrate looks at you, Tolv, and says, motion died.
Natty Wonder
Oh, no.
Gunther
He stretches out a hand to the rack of weapons next to him and pulls it down. And there's an explosion with a giant puff of smoke and brimstone.
Natty Wonder
This guy going to get away a second time.
Gunther
Make a dexterity saving throw, Tol. Gunther and Gigi.
Natty Wonder
Okay, O, Gigi rolled one.
Tolv
I have advantage on saving throws. Is it strength checks and saving throws? Or is it strength checks and just broadly saving throws?
Natty Wonder
All strength checks and all saving throws.
Tolv
You know, the wording, it's. It's a little vague.
Gunther
Strength checks and saving throws.
Tolv
So strength checks and all saving throws.
Gunther
Strength checks and strength saving throws.
Tolv
Oh, see, it didn't write it. It's not written like that.
Natty Wonder
Your honor. Such a dummy.
John Risinger
Later on you probably will get advantage.
Gunther
On dexterity saving throws once you get danger sense.
Tolv
Yeah, well, it doesn't matter because I rolled an 18 dab on these haters.
John Risinger
I rolled a 13.
Gunther
All right, Gunther and Gigi, you begin coughing profusely with all the smoke in the area. All three of you have a difficult time seeing because of the smoke. But told you're not as like it's not affecting you as much. Tol, I'm sensing a pattern here. Also with the vent. Previously you were not affected by the gas there either. You weren't coughing at that either.
Doug Boone
He's used to his own gas.
Gunther
Yeah, I need to. I need to look into that. Weird.
Tolv
So strange.
Doug Boone
Cuz he farts a lot.
Gunther
With a similar poof, the magistrate reappears on the balcony where the smash chest is next to Doug.
Tolv
Has he stepped in the glue?
Gunther
No, he is not stuck in the glue. At this point, the glue is hardened and is no longer tacky. He punches into the chest and pulls out an item. Oh, did what?
Tolv
Is there more glue?
Gunther
You already triggered the trap. It's done.
Doug Boone
So you happen to pick the chest.
Tolv
That had the trap.
Natty Wonder
Blaine's. Blaine's look. Blaine's look.
Gunther
This was all gonna be explained in his monologue, which Natty interrupted with the blasting at the end of the episode. Last episode. And started this episode. He was looking for the thing and whatever. You don't know that. He smashes into the damage chest and pulls out an item. And he whispers at last, what Could.
Doug Boone
I see what he's holding?
Gunther
Yeah. Make an investigation. Check.
Natty Wonder
I'm looking too.
Gunther
You too?
John Risinger
Then can I look? But I probably can't because I'm all blind.
Gunther
The smoke is preventing you from seeing.
Natty Wonder
1816.
Gunther
You both see what he has.
Natty Wonder
What?
Gunther
It looks like scales of some kind. Like balancing scales that are crafted from serpentine scales. And they seem like they're shimmering and shifting in color.
Doug Boone
Like, scales, as in, like, they go back and forth, kind of like weights.
Gunther
Yeah, exactly.
Tolv
Like the scales of justice.
Gunther
Exactly.
Doug Boone
And they're shimmering.
Gunther
Yeah, they're, like, shifting in color. Like, you see them shifting between silver, green, and red. Like, just kind of all over.
Doug Boone
Does Doug recognize these at all? From all of his many wisdom studies?
Gunther
Make a history. Check, Doug.
Barbara Dunkelman
With pleasure. Dang it.
Doug Boone
11.
Gunther
You don't know what this is specifically, but you can tell that this is an artifact of some kind and must be related to some kind of deity. Is that good enough? Yeah.
Doug Boone
Thank you.
Gunther
Okay.
Doug Boone
I mean, yeah, I'm. That's all you're gonna give me, so say no.
Natty Wonder
Say no. He'll give more.
Doug Boone
No, no. Doug looks harder.
Tolv
All these important MacGuffins are just kind of laying around, you know, laying around.
Gunther
In the middle of a fort in.
Tolv
The Marine above the door, hanging out in the chest next to the glue storage.
Barbara Dunkelman
You'd think Sergeant Steel Eye would be a little more honest with us that there were so many important pieces here and maybe have a little bit more protection.
Natty Wonder
Well, this.
Tolv
This is the guy that built a military base on top of an old cave system where his enemy could come and kill.
Gunther
For the record, chill. Sergeant Steel Eye did not build the base.
Tolv
Well, I blame him. I hold him to Egypt of court.
Gunther
He's a cog in the wheel as well. He's just a part of this military of the mortalion.
Doug Boone
So now he has this item, and now what happens?
Gunther
Yeah, and now that he's up here, he's gonna look at Natty and he.
Tolv
Says, oh, if you don't like monologues, then you definitely won't like the long sentence.
Gunther
I'm going to give you. It's not Maddie's turn. You can't interrupt him this time. Very good. He pulls back with his mallet and takes a swing at you, Natty.
Tolv
Bring it.
Gunther
Hitting AC9.
Natty Wonder
No, that doesn't do it. I got low armor, but that's too low.
Gunther
He takes a second swing.
Natty Wonder
No, go for it.
Barbara Dunkelman
Do it at me. I dare you.
Gunther
No. He's mad at Natty for interrupting his good monologue, which was going to explain everything. Anything. Hitting AC12 matches. So, yeah.
Natty Wonder
Hit.
Gunther
Yeah, that's a hit. Okay, the hammer comes down, striking you, doing three points of bludgeoning damage. That's a one plus two, three.
Barbara Dunkelman
He really told you, Natty.
Gunther
Well, hold on. You need to make a wisdom saving throw, too.
Natty Wonder
Is there a breeze in here? Did you guys feel something?
Tolv
To be fair, he's holding this really awkwardly shaped scale thing in one arm while making attacks. I mean, if I were balancing groceries, I'd be bad at attacking, too.
Natty Wonder
17.
Barbara Dunkelman
All of making excuses.
Tolv
Just saying, benefit of the doubt for the enemy.
Gunther
Oh, I appreciate it. I like it. You feel almost like voices in your head, but you're able to shove them aside out of your mind.
Tolv
And they say, zahn bear. Zahn bear in my head.
Natty Wonder
Turns to the magistrate and goes, hey, something's supposed to be happening.
Gunther
Yes.
Tolv
Maddie, you are not the tank. Let me do the trash talking.
Gunther
What did you roll on Your save again?
Natty Wonder
17.
Gunther
The magistrate puts his, you know, holds the scale up that he withdrew from the chest, and it begins glowing green. And he pushes down on one side of the scales, and the whole scale begins turning red, and your save actually decreases and becomes a sa.
Natty Wonder
Wow, this guy. His parents bought him the game genie.
Tolv
Yeah.
Gunther
Yeah, he really does have one. So you take some psychic damage. Okay, you take seven points of psychic damage, Tappy. He looks at you, Natty, and says.
Tolv
You may step down.
Natty Wonder
Why don't you step up and say, it's my face?
Gunther
Oh, I think he just did.
Barbara Dunkelman
Oh, get him, Natty.
Gunther
12, you're up.
Tolv
Oh. Just need to take a bullet for Natty. Now 25ft back in the other direction, I'm assuming.
Gunther
Yeah.
Tolv
Okay. Charge. I run, and then I take out my warhammer and I hit the magistrate.
Gunther
You try to hit the magistrate.
Tolv
You're right, because the roll is seven. Gosh darn it. And spoke. Die.
Gunther
Please.
Tolv
Anyone? Anyone? I'm all, Gus, look at me dance. Look at me dance. Gus.
Natty Wonder
I think Blaine might be addicted to inspos.
Gunther
Yeah, I think your dancing is excellent.
Tolv
I just need a little hit Just need a little something.
Gunther
That's a miss.
Tolv
Okay, well, storm aura. You gain a 10 foot aura effect when you start your rage and has a bonus action on each of your turns. When one activated, one creature of your choice and your aura takes lightning damage.
Natty Wonder
Okay, so roll yours, check for the lightning damage.
Tolv
They rolled their decks? Yeah, yeah. Oh, same page, same team.
Gunther
Okay, that's an A plus one. Nine.
Tolv
Okay, take lightning Kachow. That's a one.
Gunther
Love it.
Tolv
He just. This is.
Natty Wonder
This is what just happened. Ostensibly, he just ran up and it's like, you know when you like shuffle your feet along the carpet and he just touched the magistrate and gave him a little shock, Just a little shot, a little zap. Yeah, that's all he did in the very least.
Tolv
Can I body block the magistrate from Natty?
Gunther
You can try, sure.
Tolv
Okay, I do that. That's where I'll position myself.
Gunther
You insert yourself kind of between them.
Barbara Dunkelman
Yes, I dove.
Tolv
Hello.
Gunther
All right, Natty, you're up. Then after Natty is Gunther.
Doug Boone
And you got guidance, don't forget.
Natty Wonder
Oh, thank you. Thank you for the reminder. Natty lets out a loud whistle, and from that smoke cloud, a little quazet comes running.
Gunther
Do you have to roll to see if he obeys?
Natty Wonder
Ah, dang it.
Tolv
Oh, he got you there.
Natty Wonder
I rolled a seven. He doesn't obey.
Tolv
Maybe he pops out for a moment just to show that he does acknowledge you. And then one goes back in.
Natty Wonder
I think what he would do is. Because I think we've turned around and now we're facing like the bat.
Tolv
Where.
Natty Wonder
Which way were we facing? The original direction of the fight. Where was this fight taking place? In the room.
Gunther
He was north of you all to the north where the.
Natty Wonder
Like towards where the double doors are?
Gunther
Correct. Like halfway up the room. Not all the way to the doors, but yeah, in that direction.
Natty Wonder
Then I think Gigi's gonna get distracted and go check out the cannon. He thinks it's cool.
Gunther
All right. Yeah, that's just a little further to the northwest.
Natty Wonder
He climbs inside the cannon. Oh, and Natty just turns and goes, kids. And as she turns around, she does a little toss of her hair and then brings the other hand around and goes for an eldritch blast at him, which is a 16.
Gunther
Yeah, that hits.
Tolv
Cool.
Natty Wonder
Glad that one hits. Rolling. Four eldritch blast damage. Seven plus three is ten plus two lightning, two thunder damage. So ten force, two lightning, two thunder. Jesus.
Doug Boone
Two, two lending quick thunder.
Gunther
Twelve total there. Ten, four, two thunder.
Natty Wonder
Oh, and necrotic sound like one of.
Tolv
Those wall street stock market brokers for a second there. 10, 2, 3, 1.
Natty Wonder
3.
Tolv
Cell.
Gunther
Thunder, thunder, thunder, thunder.
Tolv
1.
Natty Wonder
Necrotic damage. All right.
Gunther
The eldritch blast strikes the magistrate in the chest, and he falls down on his back. He looks at you, looks at Tove, looks at Doug and says, you are all.
Tolv
Guilty. You'll see. Guilty.
Gunther
And with that, he dies.
Tolv
Oh. Oh, we did it.
Gunther
Go.
Natty Wonder
Now. We can't do the thing where we incapacitate and don't kill.
Gunther
I think you normally have to call that ahead of time.
Natty Wonder
I said that at the top.
Doug Boone
I think you have to be more intentional when you are actually attacking.
Gunther
Probably, yeah.
Natty Wonder
Oh, I didn't know I had to say.
Doug Boone
Each attack, depending on what happens next. Could Doug go run up and grab the scales?
Gunther
Yeah, it's right at your feet.
Doug Boone
Oh, he picks it up.
Gunther
Yeah, you pick it up.
Tolv
It's like the one ring. It's Tate's consuming Doug.
Doug Boone
Doug holds it up and.
Barbara Dunkelman
And goes. Do you guys know what this is? It seems pretty powerful. I don't know if I should be the one holding it. I'm a little scared of it, to be honest.
John Risinger
Gunther charges out of the cloud screaming, and then goes and stabs the magistrate.
Gunther
Oh, my God.
Tolv
Double tap.
John Risinger
Well, he didn't know. He kind of missed some of that because he's in the cloud.
Gunther
He's ahead of his time. Again with the apps in the cloud.
Doug Boone
Gunther, don't forget to back up.
Tolv
Can Tolv search the magistrate for any other, like, weapons or any other evidence as to who they are or what they're doing? Documents? I don't know.
Gunther
Sure. You look through, and on his person, you find a wig that's torn. It looks like Colonel Boye's hair that you remember from before.
Doug Boone
Oh, yeah.
Gunther
Oh, and of course, the scale of scales which Doug picked up.
John Risinger
Ken, Gunther, go look in the other chests. He said there were how many?
Gunther
Four. One of them was smashed, and that's where the magistrate pulled out the scales.
Barbara Dunkelman
I would suggest if you're gonna smash it, maybe stand to the side of the chest.
Tolv
Watch out for glue.
John Risinger
Can I? Yeah, I can go look at one of the others.
Tolv
Yeah.
Gunther
What are you gonna do? You're just gonna smash it?
John Risinger
Well, first, can I see if it's unlocked?
Gunther
Yeah. At the end of the last episode, you all did look at all of the chests, and they were all locked. And I believe Natty tried to see if her key would work to open them, but I said it wasn't that kind of of keyhole. Like, it wouldn't even fit.
John Risinger
Okay, Yeah, I guess I'll try and attack it.
Barbara Dunkelman
Just stand to the side, Gonzalez.
John Risinger
Yeah, from a. Maybe from a side.
Barbara Dunkelman
I know you like glue, but not in this.
Tolv
Alternatively say all.
John Risinger
Yeah. Hey, maybe I'll do this. Maybe I'll go into the smash chest and then jump up and, like, attack it and then duck back down into the smash chest. Can I do that?
Gunther
Are they big enough for that?
Tolv
Good.
Gunther
They're smaller, right? Yeah, yeah, sure, why not?
Doug Boone
Doug is gonna back up, like, against the wall.
Gunther
Is everyone else just gonna stand there and watch Gunther do this?
Natty Wonder
No backing up with Doug, actually. But there was something Natty wanted to do with Magistrate, but I'm gonna let Gunther do this.
Tolv
Okay, I'll pick up the magistrate and use them as a human shield.
Gunther
All right, so you're still staying there then?
Tolv
Yeah. And then I move him around and I say, objection. I'm a dead body. This is kind of weird. This. I shouldn't be doing this. I dropped them.
Gunther
For someone so worried about War Crimes 12 seems real loosey goosey with. With morality right there.
Tolv
I mean, this guy, you know, this was the. What's it called? Rules of engagement. They attacked first.
Gunther
Okay, Gunther, make me. Let's just say a dexterity check to see if you're able to, like, go out, strike it, and hide back again in time.
John Risinger
Okay.
Tolv
Make a saving throw for all six.
John Risinger
Saves eight.
Gunther
Yeah, you pop out, strike at the chest, but it's just such a weird, complicated set of movements that you're not used to, that you. Your sword hangs on the chest as you try to get back into it. And you get stuck just long enough for glue to come out and squirt all over you as well.
Tolv
I've been there.
John Risinger
Sticky.
Gunther
Yeah, but delicious.
John Risinger
Mmm.
Gunther
But you do damage the chest, and it is cracked.
John Risinger
Okay, I need help.
Barbara Dunkelman
Let's see what's inside.
Doug Boone
Doug will walk over. Could I help Gunther get out of the glue somehow?
Gunther
Yeah, it just takes a little bit of time. You're able to help clear it off and free him up.
John Risinger
Thank you.
Barbara Dunkelman
You're free. Do you want to look inside? I'm a little scared.
John Risinger
Okay. Can I look inside?
Gunther
Yeah, you look inside and you see a wave bladed sword encrusted with water stones on the hilt.
John Risinger
Ooh, wave bladed. Like what kind of sword?
Gunther
A wavy blade, Like a scimitar? No, I would say that's a curved blade. This is more like.
John Risinger
Oh, like Ziggy.
Gunther
Yeah, Ziggy is Ziggy. And Zaggy.
Doug Boone
And what's on the hilt?
Gunther
You said water stones.
John Risinger
Does it look in any way familiar, or can I tell anything about it by picking it up?
Gunther
All right, you pick it up and make a history. Check. Ooh.
John Risinger
17.
Gunther
You're not familiar with this specific weapon, but you know, it is obviously a fine quality, and it is most likely some type of enchanted weapon, especially if it's being held here in this chest.
Tolv
Is it Gunther sized?
John Risinger
Yeah. What size is it? Is it Gunther sized, or is it toll sized?
Gunther
It's regular sized, like for a medium creature. So it's large for Gunther.
John Risinger
Just it's not a finesse weapon.
Gunther
Correct.
John Risinger
Too heavy. Can I take it over to the rest and, like, it's a good blade.
Gunther
Sure.
Tolv
I think, team, maybe we should check the other two chests and make sure that there's any other weapons that are in there. Probably desirable to the Yarians, so we need to protect them. Okay, so you guys want to, like, disarm the last two chest, and then we'll take whatever's inside for safekeeping.
Barbara Dunkelman
I have, like, so much hail on my body that I'm a little hesitant to get any glue on this.
Tolv
Okay.
Gunther
I feel that.
John Risinger
Doug, I have no hair.
Tolv
You do not. Very good.
John Risinger
Then I'll try it.
Gunther
Yeah. Do you want to try to do the same thing again?
John Risinger
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
You're the official glue ghetto chest opener guy.
Tolv
You got it, Coonther.
Gunther
Yeah. Make a dex check just to see if you're able to strike the chest and get out of the way again.
John Risinger
20.
Gunther
Oh, yeah. You learned from your mistakes, and this time you're able to strike at the chest and hide yourself in the chest next to it. And the glue shoots out, covering the outside of the chest, but leaving you glue free.
John Risinger
Yes.
Tolv
Good job, Gunther.
John Risinger
What's in the chest?
Gunther
You look inside and you see a tubular instrument of some kind. Maybe like a blowpipe.
Natty Wonder
Tubular instrument. That's like a blowpipe.
Gunther
Yeah.
Natty Wonder
What's a blowpipe?
Gunther
It's, like, used for direct air or gas or breath.
Natty Wonder
So is it like a flute or is it like a trip?
Doug Boone
Well, I think maybe the word instrument was more of like tool, right?
Gunther
Yeah, like a tool, like for crafting.
Doug Boone
Like a metal instrument for.
Natty Wonder
Thank you.
Gunther
Thank you, Barbara. Yeah. Not. Not a. Not a musical instrument. Like a tool instrument.
Tolv
Oh, it's an enchanted PVC pipe. Got it.
John Risinger
Gunther's proficient with Smith's tools. Does it look like a blower for. For that?
Gunther
Yeah, you could absolutely use this to concentrate like a flames heat.
John Risinger
Okay. And then I guess I'll hold that for now, and then do Another stabby duck, if that's okay.
Gunther
Sure. So Doug has the scale. Gunther has the blowpipe. Who has the wavy sword?
John Risinger
I guess I left it with the group because it's too heavy for Gunther.
Tolv
I can hold on to it, but I don't, you know, not that I'm taking it. Others can use it if they want, but I'm just.
Gunther
Yeah, yeah.
Doug Boone
Before you take it, could Doug just, like, look at it and see if he recognizes this thing?
Tolv
Yeah, knock yourself out. Sure. Go ahead.
Gunther
Yeah. Make a history. Check.
Barbara Dunkelman
I've read a lot of books on these types of things.
Tolv
He's got water stones, so I could do some. Oh, never mind. You got it.
Gunther
So some things stand out to you, Doug, especially with your artificer background. No, you see that this sword is also partially hollow. The blade itself is hollow. And you think that it could hold fluid.
Natty Wonder
Oh, weird.
Gunther
But it is currently empty.
Natty Wonder
Okay, That's a weird sword.
Tolv
Yeah.
Barbara Dunkelman
That would just make it kind of like when you're using it, right? Like.
Tolv
Yeah, interesting. Like blue glublirble gurble. Perhaps.
Doug Boone
Doug tells the team about his findings.
Barbara Dunkelman
All right, guys, just so you know, the sword is hollow. I know it's very untypical, as, you know, you guys use swords all the time, so, you know, but I think that, like, maybe it could hold fluid or something like that, but there's. There's nothing in there right now, so I want to test this out later.
Natty Wonder
Maybe it's a bath toy, perhaps, or.
Barbara Dunkelman
Maybe we, you know, try to put some water in it and see if it does anything.
Gunther
You can finally convince Gigi to get in a bath.
Natty Wonder
Yeah. With weapons.
Doug Boone
With his sword.
John Risinger
Could I try the last chest?
Gunther
Yeah, for fun. Make me a dexterity check. See if you're able to dodge out of the way of the glue.
John Risinger
Let rip, Nat. 20 for 24.
Gunther
Yeah. You just made a mistake that first time. Now you know how to do it. You know how to strike, and, you know, pull your sword back and stay out of the way of the chest. You smash open the fourth and final chest, and inside you see a flail with two chained spike heads and a handle made from some kind of wood.
Tolv
Ooh, flail.
Natty Wonder
Just like a mace on the end of chains.
Gunther
Yeah.
John Risinger
All right. Okay. Inspect it and take it over to the group.
Gunther
Yeah, yeah, you take it over to the group and show them. And, yeah, you all see the same thing. It's a flail with two chain spiked heads and a wooden handle. As you all are inspecting the flail, the doors at the northern End of the armory burst open and Drill Sergeant Steeleye storms into the room with several cards. B Team, what's the meaning of this? What are you doing with those stolen relics?
Doug Boone
Doug points to the magistrate on the floor.
John Risinger
They're not stolen. They are right here.
Gunther
They're not where they should be. They're supposed to be in the chests for safekeeping.
Tolv
Did you steal them?
Gunther
How did you get in here? What are you doing? What's the meaning of that? What's the meaning of this?
Tolv
You do not leave us on a cliffhanger, Sergeant.
Gunther
We'll have to see if Drill Sergeant Steel believes that or not. Find out what happens to B team and their new best friend, the magistrate on the next episode of Talesman. Stinky Dragon. Did I say best friend? I meant accomplice. Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Tolv
I smell the court martial.
John Risinger
You pop with the magistrate. The court is now in Wait. Recession. What's it Whenever you pause recession.
Gunther
Yeah, back, back.
John Risinger
No, whenever you pause the court.
Tolv
Recess.
Doug Boone
When you're in recess.
John Risinger
Recess.
Tolv
We got there.
Gunther
All right, bye everyone. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a patron@stickydragonpod.com or become a member of Beacon Beacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and Member Only Discord for their respective platforms. If you become a patron, you get your name shouted out just like Scream Queen Bee Scott Testarelli. It's a small whirl. Joshua Andrew and Gaolian Gaming. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our Patron Only Discord server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and so much more. Again, that's stinkydragonpod.com we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Want to thank some friends of ours who provide a video for characters in this episode like the Magistrate, named after David Katzer and voiced by Bruce Green. Brucegreen on Socials and Twitch. This week's era question was submitted by Wizard Power 700. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed by Michael Risinger, with additional editing work by Katherine R. Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Barbara Dunkelman
You guys here. Doug is on the 1 and 2 again, all by myself here in the room because I didn't have to go to the bathroom. Yeah, just hanging out here, being Doug. Looking around. Just think about the. You know, the reason for life and, you know, what's behind it all. Really deep thoughts Doug has from time to time. Anyways, how you guys doing? Doing good out there. Drink your water. Stretch your legs good. Always take care of yourself. On second thought, Doug's gonna stretch his legs too. Over and out.
Natty Wonder
They've completely forgotten about their quest.
Gunther
Are you sure about these four? What do you see in them anyway?
Tolv
It's their destiny, old friend. We just need to remind them somehow.
Gunther
Well, you could send me.
Tolv
No, no, no.
Natty Wonder
I don't think we're there quite yet.
Tolv
It has to be smaller. Something only they would recognize. Something.
Natty Wonder
I've got just.
Tolv
Hey, it is Ryan Seacrest.
Natty Wonder
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Episode Summary: Tales from the Stinky Dragon
Episode: C03 - Ep. 06 - Mission Through Middrus - Long Armory of the Law
Release Date: December 11, 2024
In the sixth episode of Campaign 3, titled "Mission Through Middrus - Long Armory of the Law," Tales from the Stinky Dragon takes listeners deeper into the comedic and adventurous world of Dungeons & Dragons. Hosted by Gustavo Serola, the dungeon master, the episode features the four enthusiastic yet foolish friends—Natty Wonder, Gunther, Tolv, and Doug Boone—as they navigate the challenges within the Long Armory of the Law. This episode masterfully blends humor, strategic gameplay, and character development, ensuring both seasoned players and newcomers are entertained.
The adventurers have previously delved into the caves of the cortege, uncovering a frosty fragment from a forgotten froggy croak, navigating a curious chasm to find a lost leg, and securing a sparkly spyglass. Their journey brought them to the familiar yet perilous setting of the Long Armory, where they now face new threats and uncover deeper mysteries.
Natty Wonder grapples with her role as a drow warlock, balancing her in-game persona with real-life challenges, notably her struggles with motherhood and potty training her son, Mr. Gigglesworth. Her heartfelt moments add depth to her character, making her relatable amidst the chaos of their adventures.
Tolv showcases his dedication as a barbarian, humorously lamenting the challenges of adjusting to life on land after being accustomed to the high seas. His interactions often bring levity, especially when dealing with in-game mishaps like getting stuck in glue.
Gunther, portrayed by John Risinger, exemplifies the quintessential dungeon master, balancing patience with bursts of caffeinated energy. His meticulous approach to the game's mechanics and his playful interactions with players enhance the immersive experience.
Doug Boone brings a unique flavor as a bugbear artificer, blending technical knowledge with comedic timing. His moments of improvisation, such as attempting to assist Gunther out of glue, add unexpected twists to the gameplay.
Notable Quotes:
The heart of the episode revolves around the adventurers' confrontation with the Magistrate within the Long Armory. The encounter begins with Gunther triggering a sticky trap—glue pouring out from a chest—immobilizing Tolv and creating a tense standoff.
Combat Highlights:
Natty Wonder's Eldritch Blast: Initiating the combat, Natty unleashes a powerful blast, dealing significant damage to the Magistrate and setting the tone for the ensuing battle. (Natty Wonder, 20:07)
Tolv's Struggle and Rage: Tolv attempts to free himself from the glue, showcasing his barbarian resilience. Opting to rage, he prepares to unleash his full strength upon the Magistrate. (Tolv, 25:14)
Doug Boone's Tactical Moves: Utilizing his capabilities as an artificer, Doug casts critical spells like Firebolt and employs his surprise attack, adding strategic depth to the combat. (Doug Boone, 41:38)
Gunther's Strategic Leadership: As the dungeon master, Gunther orchestrates the battle dynamics, reacts to player actions, and adds narrative flair, such as describing the Magistrate's attempts to regain control.
Notable Quotes:
The battle intensifies with the Magistrate employing magical abilities, forcing players to navigate both combat and strategic positioning. The introduction of Drill Sergeant Steeleye near the episode's end adds a new layer of complexity, setting the stage for future confrontations.
The episode culminates in a dramatic showdown where the adventurers manage to weaken the Magistrate through coordinated attacks and strategic use of their abilities. Natty's relentless Eldritch blasts and Gunther's tactical commands gradually tip the scales in the players' favor. However, just as victory seems within reach, Drill Sergeant Steeleye invades the scene, accusing the team of theft and escalating tensions.
Final Moments:
The episode concludes on a thrilling cliffhanger, with the adventurers facing new adversaries and unresolved conflicts that promise even more excitement and hilarity in subsequent episodes.
Notable Quotes:
Team Dynamics: The episode highlights the strengths and quirks of each character, emphasizing teamwork and the importance of strategic role-playing in overcoming challenges.
Humor Amidst Chaos: True to its comedic nature, the podcast seamlessly integrates humor into intense scenarios, making the adventure both entertaining and engaging.
Player Agency: The players' decisions significantly impact the narrative, demonstrating the dynamic nature of actual-play podcasts where improvisation and creativity drive the story forward.
Expanding the World: The introduction of new characters like Drill Sergeant Steeleye and mystical artifacts like the scales and enchanted weapons enriches the campaign's lore, providing ample material for future storylines.
"C03 - Ep. 06 - Mission Through Middrus - Long Armory of the Law" is a stellar addition to Tales from the Stinky Dragon, blending humor, adventure, and intricate role-playing. The episode successfully balances character development with thrilling gameplay, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment. Whether you're a devoted D&D enthusiast or a casual listener, this episode offers a delightful mix of laughter and excitement that captures the essence of the Stinky Dragon's award-winning podcast.
Notable Quotes with Timestamps:
This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Episode 6, ensuring both dedicated listeners and newcomers can appreciate the unfolding adventure and the vibrant dynamics of the Tales from the Stinky Dragon crew.