C03 - Ep. 07 - Mission Through Middrus - Left Holding the JAG

Summary

Summary of "Mission Through Middrus - Left Holding the JAG" (Ep. 07, C03)

Podcast Information:

• Title: Tales from the Stinky Dragon
• Host/Author: Stinky Dragon
• Episode: C03 - Ep. 07 - Mission Through Middrus - Left Holding the JAG
• Release Date: December 25, 2024
• Description: Tales from the Stinky Dragon is an award-winning actual-play D&D comedy podcast featuring four friends and their patient dungeon master. The podcast offers fully-voiced characters, immersive sound design, a catchy soundtrack, and gripping stories suitable for both seasoned players and newcomers.

---

Introduction

In Episode 07 of Campaign 03, titled "Mission Through Middrus - Left Holding the JAG," the B Team faces a dire situation as they are accused of multiple crimes during their latest mission. This episode delves deep into courtroom drama, character introspections, and the unraveling of underlying tensions within the team.

The Court Martial Begins

Accusations Laid Bare

The episode kicks off with the B Team being summoned to a stringent courtroom at Fort Andridge. Captain Kmart (K. Martin) presides over the court martial, accusing them of:

• Breaking into the armory without permission
• Stealing relics from chests
• Murdering the magistrate instead of detaining him
• Leaving a team behind instead of regrouping as ordered

[15:23] Captain Kmart: "You are accused of breaking into the armory without permission, stealing relics from chests, murdering the magistrate instead of detaining him, and leaving a team behind instead of regrouping as ordered."

Defense Strategy: "Fortunately, Unfortunately"

Gustavo Sorola, the dungeon master, introduces an improv game called "Fortunately, Unfortunately" to help structure the team's defense. Each member takes turns presenting their side, beginning sentences with "fortunately" or "unfortunately" to weave their narrative.

Doug Boone Leads the Defense

Doug Boone (playing a bugbear artificer) emphasizes their intent to follow orders and protect the team:

[21:36] Doug Boone: "Unfortunately, we did have to pursue him into a room that we weren't aware of what the room was until we got in. So, technically, we entered the armory, but we came from an entrance underground that didn't have a sign or anything."

Presenting Evidence

To substantiate their innocence, the team presents various pieces of evidence:

• Detailed Maps: Tolf provides comprehensive maps illustrating their movements and actions during the mission.

  [49:34] Tolf: "This is where you were?"

• Magical Items: Natty Wonder references the "cone of Copia," a magical artifact intended to aid their defense.

  [56:00] Natty Wonder: "Violet light."

Despite their efforts, the evidence is met with skepticism.

Verdict and Aftermath

After reviewing the testimonies and evidence, Captain Kmart delivers the verdict:

[59:09] Captain Kmart: "Based on the evidence and testimonies, I find you not guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. However, you are to remain on base at Fort Andridge for the remainder of the day."

While the team is spared imprisonment, they remain confined, hinting at lingering distrust and future challenges.

Downtime and Character Development

Following the court martial, the episode shifts focus to the characters' downtime, highlighting personal interactions and character growth.

Bonding and Apologies

• Gunther expresses remorse for past actions and shares his military background, revealing deep-seated trust issues.

• Natty Wonder offers emotional support, fostering camaraderie within the team.

  [85:45] Gunther: "I... come from a background where combat and violence was a day-to-day thing. I'm trying to turn over a new leaf."

Crafting and Personal Routines

• Doug Boone delves into his artificer pursuits, working on weapon enhancements.
• Tolf engages in mathematical studies and bonding exercises with teammates.
• Natty Wonder spends time with her son, Gigi, using flashcards to prepare for potential dangers.

Key Interactions

Notable interactions include Gunther apologizing for his strict demeanor and Natty Wonder sharing her upbringing as a drow warlock. These moments provide depth to their characters and highlight the team's evolving dynamics.

Discovery of the Enigmatic Horn

During their discussions, Natty Wonder notices an unusual horn in the lectern:

[56:00] Gustavo Sorola: "You cast fairy fire. And what was your specific goal with this again?"

Despite their efforts to investigate, the horn vanishes, introducing an air of mystery and magical intrigue.

Concluding Events and Cliffhanger

As the team concludes their rest and prepares for the next mission, they remain suspicious of Sergeant Steel Eye and the true motives behind the court martial. The episode ends with the team preparing for their next adventure, leaving listeners eager for more developments.

[57:25] Natty Wonder: "Hey, how you feeling? It's been like a few months now in this army. How you feeling?"

---

Notable Quotes

1. Captain Kmart ([15:23]):

   "You are accused of breaking into the armory without permission, stealing relics from chests, murdering the magistrate instead of detaining him, and leaving a team behind instead of regrouping as ordered."

2. Doug Boone ([21:36]):

   "Unfortunately, we did have to pursue him into a room that we weren't aware of what the room was until we got in."

3. Gunther ([85:28]):

   "I was trying to turn over a new leaf. Do you think the Undarians are gonna let you go back to your barracks when you get a boo boo?"

4. Natty Wonder ([87:55]):

   "Thank you, Gunther. That's a beautiful thing."

5. Gustavo Sorola ([56:35]):

   "You wake up and you see private parts standing there watching, waiting for you guys to wake up."

Conclusion

"Mission Through Middrus - Left Holding the JAG" masterfully intertwines courtroom drama with character-driven storytelling. The B Team's defense against harsh accusations not only showcases their ingenuity but also unearths underlying tensions and loyalties. As they navigate the aftermath of their court martial, the team's dynamics evolve, setting the stage for future adventures filled with mystery and camaraderie.

Listeners are left contemplating the true motives of Sergeant Steel Eye and the enigmatic horn, eager to uncover the next chapter in the B Team's journey.

Transcript

[Doug Boone]

Decisions, decisions.

[Tolf]

Wait a minute. Are you still looking for cars on Carvana?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tolf]

Decisions, decisions. When I used Carvana, I found the exact car I was looking for in minutes.

[Doug Boone]

Bought it on the spot, electric or full diesel.

[Gunther]

Decisions.

[Tolf]

Come on, you've been at it for weeks. Just buy it already.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You're right. Crossover it is Decisions decided. Whether you know exactly what you want.

[Tolf]

Or like to take your time, Buy.

[Gunther]

Your car the convenient way with Carvana.

[Gustavo Sorola]

This episode is brought to you by Google Gemini.

[Gunther]

With the Gemini app, you can talk.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Live and have a real time conversation with an AI assistant. It's great for all kinds of things.

[Gunther]

Like if you want to practice for.

[Gustavo Sorola]

An upcoming interview, ask for advice on things to do in a new city.

[Gunther]

Or brainstorm creative ideas.

[Gustavo Sorola]

And by the way, this script was actually read by Gemini. Download the Gemini app for iOS and Android today. Must be 18 to use Gemini Live.

[Doug Boone]

Up, up, down, down. Left, right, left, right.

[Natty Wonder]

Ba.

[Doug Boone]

Start. Oh, hi, it's me, Gum Gum from Tales from Sticky Dragon. Sorry, I was playing some video games. Hey, did you know that our Patreon followers have access to gameplay videos? That's right. Me and the other Infinites are playing Baldur's Gate 3. So come on over to stickydragonpod.com to become a Patreon member and watch me, cyborg fart and mud go on more video game adventures. That's sticky dragonpod.com Sign up today.

[Natty Wonder]

Peace.

[Gunther]

Best wishes all you beginias fume your way into the stinky dragon and ingest our latest infusion. For crying out shroud. It's a mixture of tiny tree tea leaves, a lung's worth of water vapor, a smothering of suffocating sugar, a clawful of condensed milk and essence of evaporated mountain air. One gulp of this gaseous guzzler and you'll be choking back more than tears. Previously, our adventurers Eldridge blasted a magistrate in mid sentence and found out nothing.

[Natty Wonder]

More from the now departed devil.

[Gunther]

They also broke open more chests of rare relics and were caught red handed with steam. Sticky fingers. Round up a refreshment and let's resume this rank recollection.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola and I'm joined by our four players who I'm gonna hit with an arrow.

[Tolf]

Don't do it. Don't do it.

[Gunther]

Gu, why don't you try different air flying things like javelins?

[Natty Wonder]

Or I'm gonna hit blame our players with a nice compliment.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, I'm gonna hit playing With a Frisbee. If you could get away with one crime, what would it be? And that's submitted by friendly fire675.

[Tolf]

Should we roll for initiative?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, yeah, we're gonna do that.

[Tolf]

Memory roll a D20, everyone.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay. Barbara, get an inspiration. Die for remembering that earned.

[Natty Wonder]

I was about to say that, but I held back. But I'm glad that you said it, Gus.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, Definitely got a reward. Remembering.

[Gunther]

I rolled a 28.

[Natty Wonder]

18.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I think I got a two.

[Tolf]

Okay, so it goes. Blaine, Chris, John. Me.

[Doug Boone]

Wait, I had 18. What did you have, Blaine?

[Natty Wonder]

20.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, sorry. I misjudged you.

[Gunther]

Hello, I'm Blaine Gates.

[Natty Wonder]

What number did you think he said? 20 is a very specific sound.

[Doug Boone]

I don't know. I just. I just didn't hear 20, and I.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorola]

All right.

[Tolf]

To me.

[Gunther]

Hi, I'm Blaine Gibson. Yoohoo.

[Natty Wonder]

It's me.

[Gunther]

I play tolls. I am a male orca barbarian. This is a fun one. This is a fun question. Okay. If I could commit any crime. Any crime and get away with it. Fratricide. Okay, who's next?

[Doug Boone]

Okay, what is.

[Tolf]

Wait, what is that?

[Gunther]

What?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Do you have a brother?

[Tolf]

Fratricide.

[Gunther]

No, no, no, no, no. Patricide. That's my bad, guys. I'm so sorry. Okay, who's next? Who's next?

[Tolf]

What's.

[Natty Wonder]

I think we need to be talking in our character voices.

[Tolf]

If I'm Doug, then I definitely know what patricide is.

[Gunther]

Yeah, it's Patrick. It's fun. This is a fun.

[Natty Wonder]

Issues with your dad.

[Tolf]

What? I don't. I don't really want to say out loud what it is.

[Natty Wonder]

It's daddy issues to the extreme.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, it's.

[Gunther]

It's when you kill your father. You know, you guys asked me the question. You're getting all mad. It's like, if you came to me and you're like, does this hat make me look weird? And I'd say, yeah, it makes you look weird. And then. And then you get upset with me, and it's like, I'm just telling you the truth. I'm just telling you the answer.

[Natty Wonder]

I think you might be the one who's upset.

[Gunther]

I was upset. You're upset.

[Doug Boone]

Natty, I think your hat looks good.

[Gunther]

Well, thank you.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I think Gunther's not getting it. You might have to explain it to him. Toll.

[Doug Boone]

What?

[Natty Wonder]

It's spades magic.

[Gunther]

I just got killed. My father. You know, what's wrong with. Why is everybody looking at me?

[Tolf]

So, no judgment on you, Tolf. You know, I mean, the question was if you could commit a crime, which one would you be? Which one would it be? And so, like, you know, crimes are inherently bad. And so, you know, anything you said, we would probably be judging.

[Gunther]

I'm just answering the question, dog.

[Natty Wonder]

We're going to talk about this more later.

[Doug Boone]

Not like a war crime.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay, to. Let me break it down for you.

[Natty Wonder]

What the problem is not a war crime. Gunther.

[Doug Boone]

I know that's what he said, so it is okay for him.

[Gunther]

Okay, go ahead, narrator.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Here's the issue to if I could.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

First of all, you called it fratricide, which was really confusing. And second of all, you could have used the all encompassing murder, because murder is a crime. But I don't think patricide specifically is its own crime. Like, it is murder.

[Natty Wonder]

That's called telling on yourself.

[Gunther]

I was just trying to help, you know, and I was thinking of father, and then I said fratricide, the fufu. You know, alliteration. But no, it's. It's patricide.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay, okay. That's like getting really super hyper specific.

[Gunther]

You're welcome.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We might hear more about that in the future. I feel like we kind of like about this.

[Doug Boone]

It's like saying, would you rob a bank? Like, what would you do if you could rob a crime? You're like, I would rob this bank at 8am with a crew of three. Three. And this is our exact plan.

[Gunther]

I'm there.

[Tolf]

I almost feel like this is an admission, if anything, rather than just an answer to a, you know, harmless question.

[Natty Wonder]

We've talked about an arrow question.

[Gunther]

Harmless answer. You know, like, let's just move on, guys, this is getting weird.

[Tolf]

Let's put. Let's put a watch on toast in here.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'm making an unrelated phone call while I do that Gunther. Why don't you go ahead? I think you were next.

[Doug Boone]

A crime that I could get away with.

[Natty Wonder]

Introduce yourself first.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, yes. Chris Demaris playing Gunther, Level three fighter in the house. A crime that I could get away.

[Tolf]

Croak folk.

[Gunther]

Croak.

[Doug Boone]

Croak folk. Frog.

[Tolf]

He really wants to answer the question.

[Doug Boone]

A crime that I could get away with is such a funny question in that there are no crimes. And what you could not get away with.

[Gunther]

Oh, you doing Patrick's side too? No. Oh, no. Okay.

[Doug Boone]

No. There are, in my community, no one does a crime. And if you do, then you leave. Oh, and to leave is also the crime. So I have done the crime.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'm so confused.

[Natty Wonder]

Wait, I'm a little confused. So did you say there is no crime you can get away with or can't get away with?

[Doug Boone]

You can.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, okay.

[Tolf]

Oh. You don't do any crime.

[Doug Boone]

You cannot do a crime. And if you do, you cannot get away from it. Because if you get away, then you must go away, which is a crime. Which is in itself a crime.

[Natty Wonder]

How do you decide who you send away?

[Doug Boone]

I don't. Because I do not decide who does crime.

[Gunther]

It's good. Good answer.

[Natty Wonder]

So it sounds like a little bit like a. An honor system.

[Doug Boone]

No.

[Tolf]

You know that gif of Zach Galifianakis with all the math going around his head?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Tolf]

I feel that's all of us right now.

[Doug Boone]

I will say this, though. In this law, there are crimes that I would do and get away with.

[Tolf]

In this law.

[Natty Wonder]

I think he means in this legal system that we currently.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, right.

[Tolf]

Oh, no, he didn't mean in this law.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Outside of frog law.

[Doug Boone]

In this law, then, yes, I would.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, that is the question.

[Doug Boone]

It would be to take a life.

[Tolf]

Oh.

[Gunther]

Oh. So patricide. Okay, okay.

[Doug Boone]

No, I will not kill your father.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Is there any specific life you'd want to take? Gunther?

[Tolf]

Oh, geez.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Tolf]

Not. Not. Poor little Doug's here.

[Gunther]

Why?

[Tolf]

Doug's a good guy. Friend of yours, huh?

[Doug Boone]

Why would I want to kill Doug?

[Tolf]

I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I've yet to know Gunto's motives with certain things.

[Doug Boone]

I do not know yet who I am to kill.

[Natty Wonder]

I don't know yet.

[Gunther]

So, okay, I asked if you had.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Someone specific in mind, and you said yes.

[Gunther]

Yes.

[Doug Boone]

But I do not know.

[Gunther]

So it seems like he's solving some sort of crime. He seeks revenge on who? He does not know yet.

[Natty Wonder]

That might be the case.

[Gunther]

I speak Gunther. Okay. All right.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Theoretically, it's like if Kyborg didn't know who Quadron was and was looking for.

[Tolf]

That person, like, knew someone did something and. Yeah, right.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

In another world.

[Natty Wonder]

The Six Finger Man.

[Gunther]

So, Gunther, real quick. You said that if you leave your people, that is a crime.

[Natty Wonder]

No, you leave your people because you did a crime.

[Gunther]

Right. Or no, it's not mutually exclusive. Okay, so if you were to leave, that's a crime. But also you would be ousted if you committed a crime. So which one did you do? Gunther?

[Doug Boone]

Or both.

[Natty Wonder]

Wait, first question. Is that accurate?

[Gustavo Sorola]

That sounds right. I think so, yes.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm not asking y'all. I'm asking the Frog to answer this question.

[Gunther]

Gunther, you're just kind of staring at us, bug eyes.

[Doug Boone]

Why are you not understand?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'm interjecting here because the frog is not making any sense.

[Natty Wonder]

Right. So I don't know how you're gonna make sense of something. You don't know what the answer is by someone who hasn't given us the answer.

[Tolf]

To be fair, he is a frog, and so a frog. Not making sense. Context.

[Natty Wonder]

He's a croak. Folk.

[Tolf]

That's true.

[Natty Wonder]

There's folk in his name.

[Tolf]

That's very true. He's also played by a human boy.

[Gustavo Sorola]

All right, Gunther, I think you've enlightened us enough.

[Tolf]

I don't think he's enlightened us at Natty. I think that's as far as we're gonna get.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We need to move on. Gunther, always a pleasure. Who is next? You're next.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm John Ringer, and I'm confused.

[Gunther]

That's a weird class.

[Natty Wonder]

But I'm not confused about what class I'm playing. I'm playing the character Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Level three.

[Natty Wonder]

Level three, important for duty. I'm just a simple Southern drow who just wants to bring a little bit of, you know, sunshine to this world. So I'm not quite sure if I even have an answer for such a question, but since we're here and I'm pressed for answering, I. I would want to bring about the sudden and complete destruction of the bourgeoisie and give the means of production back to the proletariat.

[Tolf]

Ooh, bourgeoisie. That's a fun word to say.

[Gunther]

Yeah, it rolls off the tongue.

[Natty Wonder]

Either that or maybe steal a candy bar from Walmart. Oh, that seems exciting.

[Gunther]

You do look like you like candy bars. Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yep.

[Natty Wonder]

I love me a Nutter Butter.

[Gunther]

Nutter Butter.

[Tolf]

Why don't you get Giggy to do that? Because then, you know, he's a little kid. He's a child. He. He doesn't know any better, right?

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, he already does that.

[Gunther]

Hey, Doug, can you say Nutter Butter?

[Tolf]

Nutter Butter.

[Gunther]

There you go.

[Tolf]

Just the way it was intended to sound.

[Natty Wonder]

You know, when you take. Sometimes people take their dogs for walks, and the dog, like, picks up rocks along the way and brings them back. Yeah, that's Giggy. With items of purchase at any store. We go into Reese's Pieces.

[Tolf]

Yeah, he loves those quench balls.

[Gunther]

Butter finger.

[Natty Wonder]

So, yeah, that's my answer.

[Tolf]

Malteser.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, tell Giggy to get all his crimes out of the way now while he's a minor.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, he's got so many crimes that he wants to commit, I don't think he can get them all out of the way.

[Tolf]

He has A to do list with crime.

[Natty Wonder]

He got a bucket list as long as my arm.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay, Doug, I believe that leaves you.

[Tolf]

It does leave me, Mr. Boone. Hello, everyone. My name is Doug Boone. I'm a bugbear. Artificial also level three. And gosh, I have a confession.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Go on. No judgment.

[Tolf]

Doug has already committed a number of crimes. Uh.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, well, so have we all.

[Tolf]

Including, but not limited to trespassing and burglary.

[Gunther]

Oh.

[Natty Wonder]

What'd you steal?

[Tolf]

Some. Some people might call it petty theft. I don't know.

[Natty Wonder]

Wait, are you talking about the ones that we. The chests we just opened up in the last episode?

[Tolf]

That definitely is included. And Doug still feels bad about that. But, you know, Doug has had to fend for himself for a really long time. And so, like, there was these abandoned towns around, and he would, you know, take things that didn't belong to him and go in places that didn't belong to him. And Doug's not plowed, but, you know, he has to do what he had to do.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, you gotta do what you gotta do to survive.

[Tolf]

If the jail time is long, I will accept it. Doug is sorry for everything he's done.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It's okay, Doug. Don't cry.

[Gunther]

Doug. Just say allegedly and it's all clear.

[Tolf]

What if I can't say it is a legend? I can't say it.

[Gunther]

Oh, you're so close.

[Tolf]

Yeah, digitally.

[Doug Boone]

Supposedly, you are a legend.

[Natty Wonder]

Wait, if it's abandoned, is it theft?

[Tolf]

You might be white. Actually, I don't. I don't know. Let me. Let me reference my law book.

[Natty Wonder]

I feel like abandoned literally means someone left it and doesn't want it anymore, and so I think you're good.

[Tolf]

Thank you, Natty. I never thought of it that way.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm sure we'll commit crime sometimes between now and the end of our adventure, so don't worry about it.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'm sure there will be a crime committed at some point. Thank you, Doug. I appreciate you opening up. I hope you feel a little better after Natty clarified things there.

[Tolf]

Maybe like, 5% good.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Better than zero. As you all are inspecting the flail, the doors at the northern end of the armory burst open. And Drill Sergeant Steel Eye storms into the room with several guards. B team, what's the meaning of this? What are you doing with those stolen relics?

[Tolf]

That points to the magistrate on the floor.

[Doug Boone]

They're not stolen. They are right here.

[Gustavo Sorola]

They're not where they should be. They're supposed to be in the chests for safekeeping.

[Doug Boone]

Did you steal them?

[Gustavo Sorola]

How did you get in here? What Are you doing? What's the meaning of that? What's the meaning of this? We're going to pick up this episode 30 minutes from that moment.

[Gunther]

Time. Jump.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Speaking of crimes, the party now stands in Fort Andridge's headquarters courtroom for their court martial.

[Natty Wonder]

That's quick.

[Doug Boone]

This is a mockery.

[Tolf]

I was told it was abandoned.

[Gunther]

Squatters rights.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You all are in a courtroom. And it's an octagonal iron rail room with a bench to the north with three chairs. There's a banner on the wall that reads, together we stand unbroken. There's a lectern in the center of the room and a bar and gallery to the south. Iron doors lead to the west and to the south, out of this room. Both doors are guarded by MPs. You all were led into this room from the western doors. So you know that is the prisoner's entrance into the courtroom room.

[Doug Boone]

And you said some time has passed.

[Gustavo Sorola]

30 minutes.

[Tolf]

30 minutes.

[Doug Boone]

30 minutes. Not a short rest?

[Gustavo Sorola]

No, no.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Tolf]

I would. I would think we would not have time to rest as we were being taken.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, just clarify.

[Tolf]

Whipped into shape.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You all are standing near the lectern in the center of the room. It's a cold iron lectern, elevated and surrounded by a railing.

[Gunther]

Heck, is a lectern.

[Natty Wonder]

It's basically where we're standing in a raised space to be judged.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You ever see, like, a speaker with, like, a little podium in front of them?

[Natty Wonder]

Kind of like, you know, the Senate And. And Phantom Menace?

[Gunther]

I am the Senate.

[Natty Wonder]

That the. Like, that middle spot. That would be our lectern.

[Gunther]

Oh, we are Palpatine. Got it. And then we're facing the east. That's where the.

[Gustavo Sorola]

No, no, you're facing to the north.

[Natty Wonder]

Where?

[Gustavo Sorola]

The bench with the three chairs.

[Gunther]

Okay, okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Who's at the bench?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'm glad you asked. I was about to get to that. Sitting at the bench is the judge presiding over this case, Captain Kmart. K. Martin.

[Tolf]

Oh.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You see? Private Parts sitting in the courtroom. Clerk seat to the left. And there are no attorneys for either side.

[Doug Boone]

Captain Kmart. K. Martin.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Tolf]

K Mart. K. Martin.

[Gustavo Sorola]

K Mart is the nickname. And K. Martin's the real name.

[Gunther]

Oh.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Kind of like classic. Classic.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Tolf]

But this is a captain, not a private.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Correct. I'm just giving an example. Yeah, like, people have nicknames and their actual names. And then sitting in the gallery behind you is Sergeant Steel Eye and A team.

[Tolf]

These guys are everywhere.

[Gunther]

Who is in the clerk seat again?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Private parts.

[Tolf]

Oh, yeah.

[Gunther]

And the clerk's like the. They're like the Stenographer.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, kind of.

[Gunther]

Okay, do I perceive a blue light special today? Are we gonna get any deals from Captain Kmart? Kmart?

[Gustavo Sorola]

You better hope so.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, a bleed.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Kmart's closed, right? I. K Mart.

[Gunther]

I think there's one location left, if I'm not mistaken.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I think it just closed, like, very recently.

[Natty Wonder]

The one on Guadalupe?

[Gustavo Sorola]

No, no, in the United States.

[Gunther]

The last major Kmart store is in Bridgehampton, New York. It will close in one month's time on October 20, 2024. It just closed. We could have saved them.

[Tolf]

It's impossible.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Michael mentions they're still in Australia and are quite nice. It's an alternate reality.

[Gunther]

Oh, thank God.

[Natty Wonder]

I've been to one in Australia.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Captain Kmart bangs their gavel and shouts out, order.

[F]

I'll have order in the courtroom. B team, you are accused of the breaking into the armory without permission, breaking into chests of relics without permission, murdering the magistrate instead of detaining him for questioning, and finally leaving a team behind instead of regrouping as ordered. B team, you will provide testimony and evidence in your defense.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We're gonna play an improv game.

[Tolf]

Wait, I thought that's what we've been doing for the last three campaigns.

[Gunther]

Is that not the point of the show?

[Gustavo Sorola]

We're gonna play an improv game called fortunately, unfortunately.

[Gunther]

Oh.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Where you all are gonna speak as a group, but you all take turns. Well, you start your opening sentence with it all started when? And then each one of you takes turns adding a sentence that starts with fortunately or unfortunately.

[Tolf]

Should we roll for the order we go in?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I roll for you guys ahead of time, and I've got an order here in front of me. So we're going to do that for two minutes, so hopefully you guys can present any evidence in your defense and you don't go to prison. And this might be the shortest campaign ever.

[Gunther]

Wait, so this is two people. Is it just going to be like Blaine, fortunately, Barbara. Unfortunately, Chris Fortunately, John unfortunately. And then it's going to go back to Blaine, fortunately, correctly.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We're just gonna go all the way around.

[Gunther]

Okay, so some of us will only be fortunately, and some of us will only be unfortunately's.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'll tell you what. Each of you, when is your turn? You can. You can choose whether you want fortunately or unfortunately at the top.

[Gunther]

Okay?

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Tolf]

Oh, that's fortunate.

[Gunther]

Very fortunate.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We're gonna go. Doug tolve Gunther Natty DTGN.

[Natty Wonder]

Good job, Vibe.

[Tolf]

Thanks.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Captain Kmart looks at you, dog, and.

[F]

Says, Mr. Boone, begin your defense.

[Gustavo Sorola]

The timer starts now.

[Tolf]

Well, it all Started when we realized that Colonel Boy was actually the magistrate in disguise, and he stole something very important and then started to go into the armory. So we followed him like the good, you know, soldiers that we are told.

[Gunther]

Unfortunately, he was able to incapacitate the A team. And after coming to their rescue and deeming it necessary to pursue the suspect, we left them behind once we had made sure they were secure and gave chase to the magistrate, Gunther.

[Doug Boone]

Fortunately, a team was said they were good and needed not help because we offered it, and they were all happy.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You done?

[Doug Boone]

Wait, do I need. Yeah, okay.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Unfortunately.

[Doug Boone]

Wait, wait.

[Natty Wonder]

Has Gunther always talking in such broken English, or am I just waking up to this?

[Doug Boone]

It's different every day, man.

[Natty Wonder]

It's like sort of Yoda, but not wait.

[Doug Boone]

So wait, and we just give the fortunately, and now John would give the unfortunately, yes.

[Tolf]

Yeah, but Gus said he could do whichever one he do whatever.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, Maddie, the one I want to say. I can't. I want to say unfortunately. Unfortunately, I asked the DM if I could not kill the magistrate, but you guys killed him anyways. Unfortunately, we did have to pursue him into a room that we weren't aware of what the room was until we got in the room. And so, yes, technically, we entered the armory, but we came from an entrance underground that didn't have a sign or anything. So how can you break into somewhere if you. You didn't even know you were breaking in?

[Gunther]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tolf]

Fortunately, we were there on the double to make sure that the magistrate didn't get away with the thing that he stole. And we stopped him in the. In, you know, in the room full of all these chests where he got something else important from the chest. But we were there, you know, if we weren't, who knows what would have happened?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Time. Time.

[Natty Wonder]

I was gonna say we've been.

[Gunther]

I had so much more. Oh, sorry. Stop. Or you.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's it. Time.

[Doug Boone]

That's it.

[Gustavo Sorola]

The Captain Kmart bangs their gavel down.

[Natty Wonder]

That's how courts work. You get. You get a limited amount of time.

[Tolf]

To talk and to watch this case.

[Natty Wonder]

I call because we have to surprise.

[Doug Boone]

With Ms. Sawyer, the lawyer.

[Gunther]

Oh, Gossie.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I see there are no attorneys here.

[Gunther]

I raise my case.

[Doug Boone]

How could we break in if it was already broken into?

[Tolf]

I think we answered all of the different relevant accusations, but in one, which I don't know what we were supposed.

[Gunther]

To do or not. Yeah, no, I think we got it for the most part.

[Gustavo Sorola]

The judge bangs their gavel and says.

[F]

If the defense wishes, they can cross examine any of the witnesses we have available. If not, we will just have them read statements they have prepared.

[Tolf]

Are we the defense?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, you are defense.

[Natty Wonder]

Yes, we're the defense, Doug. We're defending ourselves. Did you think we were prosecuting somebody?

[Doug Boone]

What were the names of a team?

[Gunther]

It was classic Lassic.

[Doug Boone]

Who was the girl that we.

[Gunther]

That was a. Ok. Ogre. Kanandros.

[Tolf]

Okray.

[Natty Wonder]

Private mess. Private parts.

[Gunther]

Private Lassic. Private mess. Yeah. I would like to question the defense.

[Natty Wonder]

No, wait.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You are the defense.

[Gunther]

I would like to question the offense. Go team.

[Natty Wonder]

The witnesses he wants to.

[Gunther]

Your honor, may I approach the binge?

[F]

Okay, I'll allow it.

[Gunther]

Okay. Okay. I go right up to count to Kmart.

[Gustavo Sorola]

There are two guards right next to the bench.

[Gunther]

Get as close as I can without, you know, them getting all defensive. I say, oh, hello. Hello. We don't really know legal terms, so you're gonna have to be, you know, a little forgiving and a little patient. But I would like to talk to one of the A team members if that is okay.

[F]

Why did you approach your bitch?

[Gunther]

Just because of some. Some one on one time. I feel like, you know, when we're so far apart, you know, you might not know me and, you know, we're not super. I just feel like I give off a good aura and I wanted to be nearby you.

[F]

Well, perhaps if you knew legal terms and the order of things, you wouldn't be in this mess tolf.

[Gunther]

Well, you know, I'm a soldier first and foremost, and I do my best out on the field of battle.

[F]

Okay, Are you implying I'm not a soldier first and foremost?

[Gunther]

No, I just think that you're. You wear many hats and they all look great on you. And right now you're wearing. Oh, you're wearing the judge's hat with the gavel, you know, and that's cool. I respect that. I couldn't do that. That sounds stressful.

[F]

Return to the lectern and you may call up a member of a team if you wish.

[Gunther]

Okie dokie meta talk. Which one did I save? That was about to fall into the rift thing?

[Gustavo Sorola]

That was, I believe Private Lassic was about to fall into the rift.

[Gunther]

Okay. And I think that they were unconscious, were they not?

[Gustavo Sorola]

They were conscious, but they were like shaking and under the ill effects of the gas from the previous room.

[Gunther]

Okay, I would like to talk to Private Kendrano's.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Private Kandranos stands up from the gallery and walks up to the bench and takes a seat in the witness chair.

[Gunther]

Hello, Private Kanandro's. Kendra knows so Private Kendra knows. First of all, how are you doing today?

[Tolf]

I'm fine. And A team is recovering fine, no thanks to B team.

[Gunther]

Well, I would like to recall what happened whenever we came in. Do you recall a big, you know, hole opening up in the room that we found you guys in? Does that. Does that tickle your memory?

[Tolf]

Yeah. After we follow the colonel's orders and went underground to find the culprit, you were injured in action and regrouped in a room that had a crevice in it. That is correct.

[Gunther]

Okay. And do you remember what happened to private Lassic when he was injured? And regarding that hole, and it started to open up a little bit more after we arrived?

[Tolf]

Yes, if memory serves, correct, you kicked him and started to shove him into the crevice that had opened in the floor.

[Gunther]

Okay. I'd like to approach the bench, your honor.

[F]

Permission denied.

[Gunther]

Okay, we have a bit of an issue because Private, the Cadandros can. I don't know your name. I'm not even gonna try. You don't deserve my respect. They're straight up lying. They did not put their hand on the bible or whatever they have to. To swear allegiance to the flag. They're lying, okay? And this is. I think we need some sort of different. I don't know, child. By combat. Something else. Because this is. This is unfair.

[Doug Boone]

Does anyone have. What's the truth telling spell?

[Gunther]

Oh, cone of truth.

[Doug Boone]

Cone of truth.

[Tolf]

Zone of truth.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Zone of truth.

[Doug Boone]

Zone of truth.

[F]

The honor of the witness is not called into question.

[Gunther]

Yes, it is.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Private Kangenos continues.

[Tolf]

Weirwound is in action. And as we were tending to our wounds, I do recall you arrived late and you did not assist us. Rather, you move in the direction of the culprit's last known whereabouts, proceeding to the south of the room. Then you pass by us again instead of waiting for us to proceed as a group.

[Gunther]

Okay, well, this is a bit of a. Hey, you know we were talking about Kmart in Australia. This is a kangaroo court, okay? They are setting us up for failure. At this point, I don't even know what we're doing here because they're just straight up lying because I came in and I saved private Lassic before he fell into a hole and almost died.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Judge Kmart asks, dove, do you have.

[F]

Any evidence to support your claims one way or another?

[Gunther]

I mean, I have three witnesses behind me, but I guess you've got four witnesses to the contrary. And they're going to say their thing, and we're going to say our thing.

[F]

So I don't know, which is why I need evidence. Evidence beyond words. Anything physical that could perhaps show the court or prove innocence.

[Gunther]

I don't know. Maybe he pooped his pants while he was about to fall into the floor. But he's still alive, so that's evidence that I saved him. Do they have any evidence, your honor?

[Gustavo Sorola]

How did you make a persuasion check tolf?

[Gunther]

That was almost a one rolled over to a 19. That's a dirty 20. Ooh.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Very good.

[F]

Your testimony is quite enlightening to. Thank you.

[Gunther]

You're welcome.

[Natty Wonder]

Can I take a stab at this?

[Tolf]

After you, please.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So I guess y'all switch to steps away from the lectern. And Natty steps up to the lectern.

[Gunther]

But I give a crisp high five to Natty.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Make me a perception check, Natty.

[Natty Wonder]

Sure. 16. No, 18.

[Gustavo Sorola]

18. Okay. As you approach the lectern, like I said earlier, it's a cold iron lectern. It's elevated and surrounded by a railing. And as you approach it, you see something that maybe hadn't been noticed before. There's a shelf below the top level of the lectern. And it looks like there's something in the back of the shelf below the top of the lectern.

[Natty Wonder]

Ooh, I look. I look. What's in it? What is it?

[Gustavo Sorola]

There's a horn glittering white with golden streaks.

[Tolf]

I think I know what that is.

[Natty Wonder]

What? Why is he de.

[Tolf]

Oh, well, would you. Would I be able to see it?

[Natty Wonder]

Hey, Doug. I hold it, like, down below, so Doug can see it. I go, doug, what's this?

[Tolf]

I think that might be the cone of copia.

[Natty Wonder]

That's the thing that the abbey lady.

[Tolf]

Put price to his chest.

[Natty Wonder]

How is this gonna help our defense?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I don't know, Natty.

[Natty Wonder]

We're not talking to you right now, Judge.

[Gustavo Sorola]

This is the DM Talking to you. Natty, I need you to make a reality check.

[Tolf]

Reality check.

[Natty Wonder]

What's that?

[Gustavo Sorola]

You need to roll a D20 and add all of your ability score modifiers. So add your strength modifier, your dexterity modifier, Constitution, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma.

[Gunther]

Is this new? Is this homebrew?

[Natty Wonder]

My total.

[Gunther]

Just the.

[Natty Wonder]

The six. The six of them?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. My modifier is a six.

[Tolf]

Wait, that's it?

[Gustavo Sorola]

You only have plus six between all of them?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tolf]

How is that possible?

[Natty Wonder]

What do you guys got?

[Doug Boone]

Wait, we add up all of our modifiers.

[Gunther]

Yeah, I have nine. I don't know what you guys have. Six seems awfully low.

[Natty Wonder]

That's what I got.

[Tolf]

I have, like, 12.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Someone rolled, like, doo doo when they were rolling their character sheet.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I have seven, you have five. Don't you, Gunther?

[Doug Boone]

You're talking about, like, our strength, dexterity, constitution, intelligence.

[Gustavo Sorola]

One of those plus ones I thought was a minus one. Yeah. All right, so, yeah, go ahead and roll that check for me, Natty, after you've been shamed.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, I don't care. 23.

[Tolf]

23 sounding still a good role.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty's amazing. Even without those things, I don't need those numbers.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's a. That's a successful role.

[Tolf]

So I'm very curious to see what this reality check is.

[Gunther]

I have a theory. I don't know if I should share right now.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You. You know, as you're holding it, and you turn to Doug and ask about it, and Doug says that maybe it's a cone of Copia. You feel almost like your vision begins to warp and fade in and out, and you feel like this item doesn't belong here. Then after you look finished looking at Doug's eyes, you look down back into your hands, and the horn is gone.

[Gunther]

Oh, I think I know what's going on here.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, share.

[Gunther]

I think we might be under some sort of spell. Like, we're not actually here, and it's all very legal themed, so maybe the magistrate is actually fooling us right now.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I don't know.

[Tolf]

But why would we see the cone of Copia? Like, what does that have to do I. Why would it be there and then gone?

[Gunther]

Well, the magistrate had it, and then, you know, maybe they're using it. Maybe the power of the cone of Corpio did.

[Tolf]

They had the cone? I thought they had the hammer.

[Doug Boone]

Don't hit me.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It is. Natty, as you know, this is going through your mind. You realize this is not the cone of Copia, but instead, this must be some other powerful magic item, and it's.

[Natty Wonder]

No longer in my hands.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It's gone. Was it even there to begin with?

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, because you said it was.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I don't know. Maybe you're imagining that.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, I assumed that was supposed to help me in some way, but it did not. The defense would like to call Giggy to the stand.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You call Giggy to the stand? Do you have to roll to me if Giggy goes up there.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, son of a. I rolled an 8.

[Gustavo Sorola]

He doesn't go on the stand.

[Gunther]

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[Doug Boone]

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[Gustavo Sorola]

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[Natty Wonder]

I rolled an 8.

[Tolf]

He's his own boy.

[Gunther]

How's it going, Daddy?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Except Gigi begins walking towards the chair that seems like he's gonna listen. But at the last second, he detours and begins gnawing on one of the guard's legs.

[Gunther]

Giggy. Giggy.

[Natty Wonder]

No Giggy. Damn. Giggy. No treats later. No treats later.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It seems like your witness is hostile.

[Natty Wonder]

I'll address Kandernos.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay. Kandronos, I guess comes back up to the stand again.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, wait. Could I get Sergeant Steel Eye up there?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure.

[Natty Wonder]

Is he here?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Rather than Kanjronos. Then you call Sergeant Steel Eye, who stands up from the gallery and walks straight to the witness chair and sits down.

[Tolf]

Sure he does.

[Natty Wonder]

For the court. Can you please recite your full name?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sergeant Steel Eye. Eli Steele.

[Natty Wonder]

And how long have you been our sergeant?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I've been overseeing B teams training for these past three months.

[Natty Wonder]

And have you been overseeing A team as well?

[Gustavo Sorola]

A team has also been under my purview. Correct.

[Natty Wonder]

Have you ever witnessed any sort of animosity from A team towards B team?

[Gustavo Sorola]

What I have witnessed is contraband found in B team's trunks the night before their passing out ceremony.

[Natty Wonder]

That's not what I asked. I need you to answer my question and not give me other random things that you want to talk about.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I have witnessed healthy competition between A team and B team to win favor.

[Natty Wonder]

Within the mortalion in moments where the B team was not performing well. Have you ever witnessed a team reveling in our inactive.

[Tolf]

In.

[Gunther]

In.

[Natty Wonder]

In our badness?

[Gustavo Sorola]

A team sure spends a lot of time reveling.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, defense, rest. Thank you, your honor. I appreciate it. Hey. Hey, guys. I think we're screwed.

[Gunther]

I think we're doing very good.

[Natty Wonder]

I think. I think the DM wants to convict us.

[Tolf]

There's still some of us who need to question people. Hugh.

[Natty Wonder]

I would love to see you try.

[Doug Boone]

Can one of us approach?

[Tolf]

Well, are you going?

[Doug Boone]

If that's okay. I had some questions for Steel Eye.

[Tolf]

Yeah, go for it.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, sure. Then Steel Eye will stay there since you also want to address him.

[Doug Boone]

Steel Eye.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's sergeant to you, son.

[Doug Boone]

Sergeant Steel Eye who found and chased and fought the former boy that was then the magistrate eyewitness.

[Gustavo Sorola]

B Team engaged briefly with the magistrate above ground before being ordered to pursue the magistrate below ground. At which point B Team went back to their barracks and took arrest rather than following orders.

[Doug Boone]

Did we not go to barracks because of injury? Did we not ask for help because we had injuries from fighting?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Magistrate, you did not follow orders directly.

[Doug Boone]

Did we ask for aid from injuries?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Did you? I don't remember. Not to my recollection. You have a medic on your squad, don't you? Attend to your injuries in the field.

[Doug Boone]

That is exactly what you said at the time. So we went to go attend to our injuries like as you commanded, which was in our barracks in the field.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Do you think the Undarian's gonna let you go back to your barracks when you get a boo boo?

[Tolf]

No, he makes a good point. Who stars in Steel?

[Doug Boone]

That is not helping. You told us to go heal our injuries. We healed our energies. Then we went out to go help.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Make a persuasion check.

[Doug Boone]

Gunther 19.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, yes, I guess that's correct.

[Doug Boone]

So we follow a team into a hole, which we discovered after chasing Magistrate. A team was not able to fight. They were injured. We continued your number one command, which was to follow the magistrate. I have a question. If. How can we break into armory if there was already broken into?

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's what I'm hoping to find out. How did you break into the armory?

[Doug Boone]

We did not. Magistrate was already there. The hole was already there. We nearly followed orders. I am following Magistrate nearly followed orders.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Do you have a question for me?

[Doug Boone]

Is that correct?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I don't know. We're trying to figure that out. I need evidence that it wasn't you.

[Gunther]

That broke in to the armory.

[Tolf]

Oh, wait. Could I take over here, or are you still going?

[Doug Boone]

One more. We are also accused of taking items, breaking into chests and stealing, Correct?

[Gustavo Sorola]

The scale of scales, blowpipe of bewailment, double flail of double fetidness, and the flam bar to fluidity.

[Doug Boone]

And all of these items are here, correct?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Correct.

[Doug Boone]

All right, so then how can we take in them?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Because you had them when we entered and we caught you.

[Doug Boone]

We were not caught.

[Gunther]

We.

[Doug Boone]

We caught Magistrate. We took them for Magistrate. He was taking them. We did as commanded.

[Gustavo Sorola]

And do you have evidence? Yes.

[Doug Boone]

The fact that the items are still here and that we are here with the items.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

How can we have stolen the items if they are here with us and we did not leave?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Does a burglar not steal if you catch him in your house with all of your money in his hands?

[Doug Boone]

But we were doing as you commanded, which was to follow the magistrate who went to go steal items. If we were following your orders, then we could not have broken them.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So I need you to stop yelling at me, okay?

[Gunther]

That's rich coming from the guy who, like, always yells, it's my job. Say that someone said, hey, you should go get some food. And then you go to the mess hall. Okay. And then you eat your food. And then someone says, hey, you.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I think there's too many cooks here. Who's talking to me? I can't keep track who's at the lectern. One at a time.

[Gunther]

Oh, my gosh.

[Tolf]

Doug's here too.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

If you commanded us to follow the magistrate, should we have not entered the armory? Because you did not also tell us to follow him into the armory.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, I guess there's some logic to that. But where was a team?

[Doug Boone]

They were injured and resting after we secured them.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, maybe they could corroborate your story. Captain Kmart bangs their gavel and says, all right.

[F]

Get enough out of you, Gunther. Doug, approach the lectern.

[Tolf]

Could Doug do a quick. I don't know what kind of check you'd want me to make, but just in terms of, like, have I. Have we seen this room before? Because we have been training at this place for months now, and I. I figured we would have seen a lot of areas of the, you know, Fort Enridge and stuff like that. So have we ever been in here, or do I recognize this place at all?

[Natty Wonder]

Do we do our jury duty in here at any point?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, you. You would heard of it. You've never been in this room specifically, but you've been in this building. This is in the headquarters. So you know that this room exists, and you know where it is in the headquarters. But I don't think you ever would have had opportunity to come through during your training.

[Tolf]

Okay. Hello, your highness. Doug would like to bring Private Lassic to the bench.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay. Sergeant Steel Eye goes back to the gallery. He passes Private Lassic, who walks past him and takes a seat.

[Tolf]

Hello, Private Lassic. How are you feeling? Much better, thank you. So, you know, you seem like a good guy with a really good head on your shoulders. Good memory and stuff like that. You know, you were. You were pretty shaken by everything that happened down there. But you remember us coming in and trying to help, don't you?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, we make a persuasion check with advantage. Because you're being so flattering, Doug.

[Tolf]

Oh, God. My persuasion's not great.

[Gunther]

Doug is, like, killing it right now. Did they go to law school?

[Tolf]

A 12?

[Natty Wonder]

That is correct. I do recall that while we were injured and Private Kandernas was a tending.

[Gunther]

To us, B team came by, briefly attended to us, left the room to the south, returned and helped moved us into a recovery position in the southern part of the room.

[Tolf]

Doug does the thing where he points to Lassic and then points around the room and goes, are you not satisfied? From the mouth of a team. We were there. We helped, we tried to save them, and we continued on with the mission of what we thought was right to do the mouth.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Kmart asks you, Doug, and you, Mr.

[F]

Bone, do you have any evidence besides this testimony to support your claim?

[Tolf]

Well, I mean, it's hard to have evidence, and it's easy. You know, it's tough when you're like, oh, we did this thing, but we don't really have proof because there's nothing physical. I mean, like, what are you expecting, like, a physical evidence from trying to save people. Like, it's not like we have a camera or any sort of, like, recording device.

[Natty Wonder]

Could we have a meta powwow between the four of us?

[Gunther]

I'm down.

[Natty Wonder]

Are we allowed to call one of those.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Let me answer that question first, and then you can proceed with that.

[F]

The court merely seeks to substantiate any testimony with physical evidence to help make sure justice is indeed served.

[Tolf]

Mr. Boone, did we get any like. Because I know that was like the gold gates right in that room.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Once Natty used the key, the bars turned into gold pieces.

[Tolf]

Do we have any gold pieces from that?

[Natty Wonder]

I mean, I still have that. Would that serve as any evidence for something?

[Tolf]

Oh, show that we were down there.

[Natty Wonder]

We also have the spyglass.

[Tolf]

That's true.

[Natty Wonder]

Is that. I'm trying to think of any other thing.

[Gunther]

We had a blue shard.

[Gustavo Sorola]

If you all want. At this point, you can take your. Your meta powwow as well. Should I not listen?

[Gunther]

That's what this is.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's what this is.

[Natty Wonder]

I. I just wanted to ask the group because my brain can't Is not racking anything. That's like evidence that we have. But I know that I don't remember everything, but the only thing I think of is the. The Zodia thing.

[Tolf]

Yeah, the spyglass. But we also. If anyone took any of the gold from that, that would show that. Like the gate.

[Doug Boone]

I have some of that clothing, the pearl, ebony and pearl ring clothing. But I don't know how that would help.

[Tolf]

That's from the cages, right?

[Gunther]

We also. The cryptics we also found. But the only thing that.

[Natty Wonder]

That shard.

[Gunther]

Yeah, the only thing that that proves is that we were just down there and I feel like they're going to twist our words and say, what were you guys doing farting around instead of saving the blah blah, you know? Oh, you're treasure hunters now, not soldiers. That's like. That's what Gus is going to say. Tell me I'm wrong.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Let. Let me. Let me help you. Or let me give a suggestion. Did any character draw a map or take notes or discover anything about what the magistrate was up to that they could provide to the court?

[Gunther]

Oh, my gosh. Like, I have such a thorough map.

[Tolf]

Yeah, yeah. And Doug always is taking notes.

[Natty Wonder]

Did we figure out what the magistrate was up to?

[Doug Boone]

Yes, they were trying to steal and we stopped them.

[Gunther]

Well, they got the corn of Cobra and then they were trying to get away and we chased them. And then they led us back to the armory to get more goodies.

[Tolf]

They took the Hammer the. The claw straight.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. There were doggies that we defeated in the cages.

[Natty Wonder]

I think we're going to jail.

[Gunther]

I. I mean, I feel like I almost want to ask a question, but I feel like they're gonna just laugh at me.

[Gustavo Sorola]

There's no dumb questions. 12.

[Gunther]

Are we done with the meta talk?

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, actually, I did want to do something.

[Gunther]

Okay, never mind my question.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, the leg. We have a leg.

[Natty Wonder]

The leg was attached to a whole body.

[Doug Boone]

No, it was attached to the wall.

[Gunther]

No, it was attached to the wall. It was. It was a single leg that was just removed.

[Tolf]

Yeah, Just a leg.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

From the wall.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Just a random leg.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So, Doug, are you ready to present anything or are you gonna do anything with any of the stuff that you all talked about?

[Tolf]

Well, in terms of evidence, there was many. So, you know, a few of us here, we've taken, you know, very detailed maps of the places we've gone, so we could, you know, make sure we know where we're going and also backtrack if we need. I believe Tove took a really detailed map. He's a great artist, actually. Little known fact about tolf.

[Gunther]

Oh, stop it.

[F]

Please submit one of those to the court.

[Gustavo Sorola]

One of the guards leaves the bench and approaches you dog and sticks their hand out.

[Tolf]

All right, Tove, do you want to show him your map?

[Gunther]

Okay. I come up, I high five the guard, and then I hand him my map and I say, here you go.

[Tolf]

Now, if the judge would to take a look at the map and see, because I assume the judge might know the inner workings of the amui, you would see that this is completely accurate. And to scale.

[Gustavo Sorola]

The guard takes the map, turns around and walks back to the bench and hands it to the judge, who begins looking it over.

[Gunther]

This is where you were?

[Tolf]

Yes. Ink Rest. One of many places that we were.

[Natty Wonder]

Can. I can wait. I want to know what he was pointing at.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It's just like, holding up the map in general. Not, like, a specific room or anything, just, like, referencing the map in general.

[Gunther]

We could, like, go on a field trip and, like, show you play by play, but I feel like that would draw out the episode.

[Tolf]

Then, you know, there's also. In the room where we saved a team, I might say. There was also these, like, balls that turn into gold. And I believe a few us have some of that gold as evidence as well, to prove that we were in there.

[F]

How do bars turn into gold?

[Natty Wonder]

Magic.

[Tolf]

Yeah, I was. I was too busy tending to private Lassic here, as he will, you know, back me up on Private Lassic, can.

[F]

You corroborate that account?

[Gustavo Sorola]

And Private Lassic just nods.

[F]

Hmm. Interesting.

[Doug Boone]

Can I whisper something to Doug as, like, tell them I'm about the dogs that are in the thing with this. And I hold up the armor stuff that I took. You know how I had the ivory and ebony clothing and then we went in there and we put the flame dogs inside of that one?

[Tolf]

I don't know if that room is. Because that's not where 18 was.

[Doug Boone]

No, but it's also showing that we fought the enemy.

[Tolf]

Oh, also, my colleague here, Gunther, has some evidence of something we found in one of the cages where we fought the Demong wars. And you know, the enemy as we are trying to, you know, defeat. Gunto, if you would present the evidence.

[Doug Boone]

This is clothing from searching for magistrate. And inside of cages, you will find mongrels that we defeated.

[F]

You showed the enemy no mercy.

[Gunther]

We really didn't. Yeah, no.

[Doug Boone]

They're dead. They have returned to dust.

[Gustavo Sorola]

How do all of you make a persuasion check?

[Tolf]

Even Doug.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I will say tolve you have a disadvantage on it because your interaction with the judge did not go great.

[F]

Oh.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, Natty. Just like, just a normal roll. Doug, you had a compelling argument, so we'll give you advantage. And Gunther, you get advantage for providing evidence of Demongral combat.

[Tolf]

Okay, I rolled a nat 20 for a 19, so I'm not gonna get dirty.

[Natty Wonder]

20?

[Doug Boone]

I rolled an 18.

[Gunther]

I rolled 19 and a 14, so I gotta go with the 14.

[Gustavo Sorola]

14. Okay. Captain Kmart bangs their gavel and says.

[F]

Okay, I think that'll end the evidence portion of this trial. All we have left is closing statements from B team. You can each offer one final statement for your closing argument, and then we will pass judge judgment.

[Gunther]

You think very carefully about my sentence. Okay.

[Tolf]

Was that your sentence?

[Gunther]

No.

[Gustavo Sorola]

We've heard from Tol.

[Gunther]

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? Kangaroo court.

[Natty Wonder]

Do we want to go in the same order that we approached the bench?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure. Why not? It's up to you guys.

[Tolf]

Okay, so, Joanna, you see from the mouth of one of the greatest members of a team. Classic. Classic Hill. He said, we were there saving them. We were heroes. We were doing what we needed to do. As you see from our evidence, we were there to defeat the enemy for any reason, at any cause. Conclusion. Doug is very nervous. Doug with law enforcement gets very nervous.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Very good, Mr. Boone.

[Doug Boone]

Gunther's applauding like he thinks that was really good.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, Gunther would.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Who's next?

[Gunther]

Is that. Did I actually submit mine, or am I able to go no, no.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Go, go, go. I love the trepidation, teacher.

[Natty Wonder]

Can I speak?

[Gunther]

Okay. So like war can be very confusing. And when the enemy attacks and they're in our home base, everything gets old topsy turvy. But we followed our commands. And though it ended us up in a situation that was not ideal, we did follow the orders, despite a few mishaps. But we are innocent men. And I hope that you will reconsider our sentencing because I do not think that there is a sound amount of evidence.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That is a terrific run on sentence from Toll.

[Gunther]

You're welcome.

[Tolf]

I don't know if it was as run on as Doug's, but I don't.

[Natty Wonder]

Know if Doug's was a sentence.

[Gunther]

I know commas and semicolons.

[Gustavo Sorola]

If I would love for the listeners to transcribe those sentences.

[Natty Wonder]

No.

[Gustavo Sorola]

And send them to us and see what they're actually, if it's possible to make those into a single sentence.

[Gunther]

The key is to not breathe. So that it just keeps going and you don't see the spot where you insert the period.

[Natty Wonder]

Oxygen just slows down. How the brain. Brain works.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

All right, who's next?

[Tolf]

Gunter.

[Doug Boone]

I'm not familiar with the laws that we have broken in that I'm not from this area. All I know is that.

[Gustavo Sorola]

All right, that's a sentence. Thank you very much, Gunther.

[Doug Boone]

We were given orders and we followed the orders and we defeated the enemy and ensured that no artifacts were taken.

[Gunther]

Very good. That was good, Gunther.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Excellent use of the conjunction and to string that one out.

[Gunther]

Way to go, Gunther.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Natty.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty approaches the lectern. And then Natty sneezes into her kind of gloves. And as she does that, she casts fairy fire on the lectern, which reveals anything that's invisible in a 24 foot.

[Gunther]

Q. Oh, that's so cool.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay, what does that sneeze sound like?

[Tolf]

Oh, that's the cutest news I ever heard.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's pretty good.

[Gunther]

Bless you.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So each object in a 20 foot cube within range is outlined in blue, green or violet light. Which, which one do you want?

[Natty Wonder]

Violet.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Violet light.

[Natty Wonder]

My wonderful skin tone.

[Tolf]

Turning violet. Violet.

[Gunther]

Good color.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Any creature in the area when the spell is cast is also outlined in the light. If it fails, a dexterity saving throw for the duration. Objects and affected creatures shed dim light in a 10 foot radius. So you cast fairy fire. And what was your specific goal with this again?

[Natty Wonder]

I wanted to cast it on the lectern. Like, if you want to like pick an object, pick the shelf that I found. And I wanted to see if anything in the lectern's radius appeared again.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Make a history. Check.

[Gunther]

History is.

[Natty Wonder]

Is negative one. So that's 17.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You cast it, and you see where you saw that horn before. You don't see the horn, but you see, like, an outline of where it was, and then it slowly collapses and dissipates and disappears.

[Natty Wonder]

Man, Gus, you just want to confuse me, don't you? That's all you want to do today.

[Tolf]

So confused.

[Natty Wonder]

Can I at least reach into there and see if I feel anything?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, you reach in, and it's just an empty shell.

[Tolf]

Question. When Natty saw it, did Doug also see it, or did we not really cover that?

[Gustavo Sorola]

I would say by the time Natty turned around to show you, it was gone.

[Tolf]

So I never saw it.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. I thought I had something, guys, but I don't think I have anything.

[Tolf]

I thought that would totally work. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, man.

[Tolf]

Well, should we just await our.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, No, I want my closing statement. I'm just gonna go and get my closing statement. I feel like the. The gamer part of John wants to, like, take a moment and really figure out this puzzle, but also, like, that's not a good podcast, so let's just move forward.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, I will say I think it was a good move on your part to cast fairy fire to try to see it and get a little more information. It's intentionally vague at this point.

[Natty Wonder]

That's fine.

[Gunther]

Before Natty goes, can can tove give a modifier for their role? He casts two thumbs up.

[Natty Wonder]

Thank you, Tall. Your Honor, since there is no material evidence to facilitate the prosecution's case against us other than happenstance and hearsay, I implore the court to not, for unproven reasons, send a single mother to prison when she should be at home taking care of her blessed little boy. And she motions to Gigi, who gnawing on that guard still.

[Tolf]

That's so good.

[F]

Thank you. You make step down from the lectern.

[Gunther]

Very well said. Natty.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty Curtsies.

[Tolf]

That's the best one yet.

[Gunther]

I think they're fancy words.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Captain Kmart addresses the court and says.

[F]

Well, now that all testimonies, evidence, witnesses, and arguments have been weighed, it's time for me to offer a verdict.

[Tolf]

Could Doug grab the hand of his teammates next to him?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure. Who's next to you? Whose hand is it?

[Tolf]

I guess it's probably Tolv's, if we're in order.

[Gunther]

How do my hands feel? Are they clammy? Are they cold?

[Tolf]

They're pretty warm, actually.

[Gunther]

Oh, okay.

[Doug Boone]

My hands Are always cold.

[Gunther]

Okay, I'll hold that hand. I'll level things out.

[Natty Wonder]

I hold Doug's hand, too.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay. So it's Natty Doug Toll Gunther.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[F]

And light of all the evidence and statements before me, it's my opinion that I pass a verdict of not guilty.

[Tolf]

Yes.

[F]

There's a lack of conclusive evidence. The defense is not guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. The state has not met their burden of proof. So for these reasons, the court finds B team not guilty. However, the court remains B team to stay on base at Fort Endridge for the remainder of the day.

[Gunther]

Might I make a request, your honor?

[F]

You may.

[Gunther]

Can we have, like, different bunk situations away from a team? I feel like there's a conflict of interest and they do not like us.

[F]

That sounds like a matter for sergeant Sealy.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[F]

Court is dismissed.

[Tolf]

I'm sure he'll have our backs. And that request.

[Gunther]

I don't. I think you're lying to me, Doug. I think you're joking.

[Tolf]

I was just practicing my sarcasm. They're talking for.

[Gunther]

You did a very good sarcasm.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Thank you.

[Tolf]

I've been weeding up South Chasm for Dummies, which is a book that I got recently.

[Gunther]

Ooh.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Captain Kmart bangs their gavel, then stands up and walks out of the courtroom.

[Gunther]

Is this where we throw our hats into the air or is that a different thing?

[Natty Wonder]

That's graduation.

[Gunther]

Okay. Okay.

[Gustavo Sorola]

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is brought to you by Butcherbox. You can get incredible deals on premium cuts from Butcherbox. Deals this good are hard to come by at the grocery store. They've got a variety of high quality cuts of meat at an amazing value. They've got great deals for members. And on top of that, they have recipe inspiration guides, tips, hacks. It's super convenient. It comes right to your door. Free shipping like always. I love it when I get a box because I just get to get it open up, go straight to my fridge. If you don't want to use a recipe inspiration, you can figure out what you want to do yourself with the meat here. In my last box, I had some. A ribeye that I grilled. I had some ground beef. I cooked in some pasta sauce. I have some pork ribs. I haven't made anything yet. I think I'm going to make a stew with those. But all kinds of options. Huge variety of different kinds of meat and protein you can get there. And if you want some, you can sign [e-mail] Stinky Dragon get our special deal. New users sign up for butcherbox receive 2 pounds of grass fed ground beef in every box for the lifetime of their subscription plus $20 off your first box. Use code Stinky Dragon to check out again. That's butcherbox.com stinky dragon and use code Stinky Dragon at checkout.

[Tolf]

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[Gunther]

Looking for a pickup truck to get.

[Natty Wonder]

Just about anything done?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Look no further.

[Gunther]

The Chevy Silverado EV isn't just the.

[Doug Boone]

Most powerful Silverado ever with next level.

[Gunther]

Towing capability and technology. It also offers game changing versatility with the available multiflex midgate and tailgate with means.

[Doug Boone]

Silverado EV helps you carry large, bulky.

[Gunther]

And oddly shaped items up to nearly 11ft in length.

[Doug Boone]

Chevrolet together.

[Natty Wonder]

Let's drive. Visit Chevrolet.com to learn more.

[Tolf]

I'm glad to see the justice system is still in place.

[Gunther]

For now.

[Natty Wonder]

Guys, I saw on the lectern for a moment, I saw a horn. It wasn't the Cornucopia, but it was fancy and it was white with a gold light. What was the description?

[Gustavo Sorola]

It was glittering white with golden streaks. Very unique looking.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay. I was not too far off.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

Gus, do we know who was the person who like, brought the charges against us? Was it. Was it Steel Eye?

[Gunther]

Was it Steel Eye?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, it would have been Steel Eye on behalf of the Mortalion, because they.

[Tolf]

Found us in the. That place with all the chests and items.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Correct.

[Gunther]

Who can we trust now? You know, like Kmart, maybe?

[Tolf]

I have a question. While this is happening, is everyone, like, funneling out of this room?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, y'all are left in the courtroom by yourselves. Everyone has made for the exits.

[Tolf]

And I assume. Natty, you told us about seeing that horn.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah.

[Tolf]

Could we look around?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, Just tell me what you like to do.

[Tolf]

Doug wants to take out his spyglass.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, the Zodiac thing?

[Tolf]

Yeah, the Zodia spyglass that he found.

[Natty Wonder]

I think this is a great idea. Before Doug does it and a team is leaving, I do want to address a team real quick.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

Before they leave.

[Tolf]

Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't pull this out unless the room was completely empty.

[Gunther]

No, no.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, that's why I was like, I want to interject before Doug's really good idea, but I got to do it before they leave. And I. I pull a team aside and go, fellas. No hard feelings. I know this is all just to clear things up. And I would obviously never be somebody who would tell you, you should watch your back.

[Gunther]

Yeah. You know, like, we saved your life once, you know, but, like, hopefully there's not the next time. You know, things could get crazy and, you know, Kendra knows. You know, that was kind of, you know, crazy what you said up there. But good luck out there, guys.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You can talk to them in the courtroom, or you could follow them out into the hall if you want to let Doug do the Zodia thing at the same time. Totally up to you. Not saying you should do one or the other. Just giving you options.

[Natty Wonder]

I'm just saying this and then letting them go. Yeah. I do hope you rest soundly tonight. Sleeping where I know you go during the night and have full access to it anytime I want.

[Doug Boone]

I disagree. I hope you do not rest well.

[Natty Wonder]

Thank you, Gunther.

[Tolf]

It might not be a bad idea to, like, actually find out why they. Some of them were lying.

[Natty Wonder]

I think they don't like us.

[Tolf]

Or maybe they really just don't remember when something happened to them.

[Natty Wonder]

Maybe. I think that's a very hopeful and altruistic way to look at jerks.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Private Lassic did give some compelling testimony on your behalf when Doug was questioning him.

[Tolf]

Yeah, sure. Why Velocity? He's my. He's my homie.

[Gunther]

Can I ask Kandranos, then? Can I talk to Kandranos, then?

[Gustavo Sorola]

They're not really stopping. They're continuing to walk out. You can follow them if you want to. Try to get in front of them.

[Gunther]

Or confront them in my mind, because I recognize that Doug is about to do something that might need some, like, no one looking in on it. So, like, maybe to make sure the room is secure and to, like, lead them out and stuff like that, he'll. He'll kind of follow them until the doors, you know, and then he'll. He'll, like, close the door so that we have some privacy. Is that okay?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Kandra knows. You said that I attacked the A team. Why would you say such a thing? You said I, like, kicked someone while they were down.

[Tolf]

Well, that's what it looked like. I was busy looking down, tending to my privates, and when I looked up, you were shoving elastic into a crevice.

[Gunther]

Can I do, like, a roll? Like a.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Like a insight check?

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Vibe Check.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Vibe check.

[Gunther]

That's a 13.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Seems like they're being sincere.

[Gunther]

Okay, like, I want to clarify something, because that's a pretty big, you know, accusation. I was trying to rescue him. He was about to fall into the crevice, and I reached down and grabbed him, and I got him out.

[Tolf]

Is that what happened? It looked to me like you shoved him down there and he was having to fight to pull his way back up.

[Gunther]

No, like, I was fighting to pull him back up because he was, like.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Right.

[Gunther]

Rolling in while you were attending to someone else, you know, did you ask him?

[Tolf]

Tomato. Tomato, I guess.

[Gunther]

No, not tomato. Tomato. Because that's, like, hey, this guy tried to murder my friend, when really he was, like, rescuing. It was gonna be in big trouble. Kendra knows those. That's messed up, dude.

[Tolf]

All I can report on is the way I saw things, and that's what I did.

[Gunther]

Okay, well, you stink.

[Natty Wonder]

There, there. I think you came the conclusion that I was already at, but I know you needed to have that conversation. And I close the door. As they leave and Gigi gives them.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Raspberries, you all are now alone in the room.

[Natty Wonder]

Doug, Doug, do your thing.

[Gunther]

I'm going to secure the exit. Just make sure nobody else comes in while Doug's doing his thing.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure.

[Natty Wonder]

The south exit.

[Gunther]

Yeah, because the prison is the west, so, yeah, I'll do south.

[Natty Wonder]

I'll watch the west door. I want to give Doug full privacy.

[Doug Boone]

Then I will watch the. The other one. There were three doors.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Nope.

[Natty Wonder]

Nope, there were not.

[Doug Boone]

There was a north and south and a west.

[Gustavo Sorola]

West and south.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, we are facing north. Never mind.

[Tolf]

Doug pops out the spyglass Zodiac.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yes.

[Tolf]

You pull it up and Could I look around the room with it? Specifically at the lectern?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. You look around, and you look there under the area where the lectern is, and nothing stands out. You don't see those stars like, before. I'm. But make me an arcana check.

[Natty Wonder]

That's an intelligence roll.

[Tolf]

I'm going to roll that.

[Natty Wonder]

Thank you. She rolled a five.

[Tolf]

Okay, ignore that.

[Natty Wonder]

I just.

[Tolf]

I accidentally clicked that instead of my inspiration die.

[Natty Wonder]

So ignore that initiative.

[Gunther]

We're going. Here we go.

[Natty Wonder]

He's fighting the lectern.

[Tolf]

Okay, I'm really. I'm rolling very bad. Then I rolled a 2, plus 4 is 6.

[Natty Wonder]

Anybody else got a inspiration dice to give to our good friend Gus?

[Gunther]

Knock, knock.

[Tolf]

Unless I took the 14 from my initiative roll and added four, which would be an 18.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah, it should be, because that's just a dice roll.

[Tolf]

It's just a D20.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I will say, in the past, that is what we normally do when someone makes the wrong roll. We do actually take, we hold the dice the wrong roll in order to try to discourage people from quote, unquote, accidentally rolling the wrong.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, whoops, I rolled a strength saving throw. I need to roll a strength saving throw.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So, yeah, normally we do take the errant role and then change the modifier on it.

[Natty Wonder]

So this is a rare time it's in our favor.

[Gustavo Sorola]

This is one of the rare times it does work in your favor. And it's not me trying to correct bad behavior. You look around and you don't see anything out of the ordinary. But now that you're above ground back in Fort Endrich, you begin recalling things that seem more clear to you now. You have heard of an ancient technology called a horoscope. It was developed by the mysterious and bygone civilization of Zodia. It's a rare ocular spyglass type device that allows the user to read the heavens, and it's interpreted to provide insight into the current or coming season. Kind of like a calendar slash time telling device. But some people think they're untrustworthy and.

[Tolf]

Inaccurate, just like actual horoscopes.

[Natty Wonder]

Get them, get them.

[Gunther]

Barbara, is there like a weird, like, spelling of that or was it literally just horoscope? Yeah. Okay, I thought you said horoscope. And I was like, that's grotesque. Get out of there.

[Tolf]

Horoscope. Okay, so do I think that the spyglass might be the horoscope?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. You think it's. It's one of those types of devices.

[Natty Wonder]

So it's not a device that reveals things. It's used to determine, like, to read.

[Tolf]

The heavens, to see heavens potentially in the future, insight into the coming season. Okay, what kind of insights into the coming season would it provide?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Typically, it's like almost sort of a calendar slash almanac time telling device.

[Natty Wonder]

Does it also give lottery numbers?

[Gustavo Sorola]

You can try to use it once you go outside, but you know it wouldn't do much good inside.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, what if we all did just a quick little investigation of the courtroom to see if that cone might show up elsewhere.

[Gustavo Sorola]

The four of you search the courtroom for another 10 minutes, but unfortunately, you don't discover any further clues or findings.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, let's go. Let's go back to our bunk.

[Tolf]

Okay, I guess. I guess so.

[Gunther]

It's gonna be, like, really awkward on base now because, like, Steel Eye is, like, after our buns, you know, in like, a team. I don't know if I can trust them.

[Tolf]

Well, all we gotta do is. Is prove them wrong. Right, guys?

[Natty Wonder]

Right.

[Gunther]

I mean, I guess, but, like, everything's a disadvantage with those guys because they're, like, so after our butts, you know?

[Tolf]

Well, think of how good it'll feel when we proved them wrong. And we are the heroes of the story. Right, everyone?

[Doug Boone]

I thought we already did the heroic thing where we fought and killed them and saved the items.

[Gunther]

Yeah, I agree.

[Tolf]

That's a good point.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay, so y'all leave the courthouse just to. Just to make sure. Yeah. You all step outside and there's a red sun beaming down on you like a fixed unmoving eye ever watching over Midras Sauron. A perpetual reminder of what you fight for. Defeating the Undarians and protecting the gates of Hyra. Despite the everlasting daylight, you discern from the position of the waning moon and faint stars, it is likely evening.

[Natty Wonder]

Is this like, Alaska? Is it like, daylight? When it's nighttime?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Do you light all the time?

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, okay.

[Tolf]

Daylight all the time. Are there people around or is it pretty sparse out here right now?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Right now, you see several people milling about, going about their business on base on Fort Andridge, but no one in particular in front of the headquarters where you are.

[Tolf]

Could I do a sneaky sneak looking with my horoscope up at the sky?

[Gunther]

Sure.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Make a stealth check just for fun.

[Tolf]

I also want to say that I am sneaky. I'm proficient in the stealth skill. In addition, without squeezing, you can move through and stop in a space large enough for a small creature as a bugbear.

[Gunther]

But you are so big and floofy.

[Natty Wonder]

It's just a higher modifier.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Tolf]

I just wanted you guys to know that.

[Gunther]

Yeah, that's good to know.

[Natty Wonder]

We always need to know which one of us is sneaky.

[Tolf]

Dirty 20.

[Natty Wonder]

Good roll.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay. That's very sneaky. I'm gonna make a roll.

[Gunther]

You just roll. Initiative.

[Tolf]

No, I think the thing is, Doug's hands are so big that he's holding the spyglass. Like, probably with all of his hands. Just cover it up.

[Gunther]

Is that two from the toilet paper?

[Natty Wonder]

You're rolling a lot of big numbers, 99.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Don't worry about me.

[Gunther]

My goodness.

[Natty Wonder]

What are you doing, dude?

[Gunther]

What are you up to, Guys, watch him go.

[Tolf]

And you just see the sun. Yeah, that's this one.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Yeah. You stealthily pull out the horoscope and point it at the sky, and it's able to show you the faint stars in the sky more clearly. You're able to see stars that were hidden before by the sun being out, and you're able to tell very accurately that your suspicions are correct and it is indeed evening time. And as you're looking up, you feel like you see a symbol in a constellation of some kind amongst the stars. If you were to try to decide, describe it, it would be like a humanoid with magics around them.

[Natty Wonder]

What position is the humanoid standing in the constellation?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Standing with its arms spread out like.

[Natty Wonder]

A T or a Y?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Why? Good question. Give yourself an inspiration. Die. It's an excellent question.

[Gunther]

Is there like an M and a C and an A? You don't have the.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You don't have the horoscope. You don't know.

[Gunther]

Oh, gosh.

[Tolf]

I mean, neither does Natty, to be fair.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, true. Versus.

[Tolf]

So it looks like they're, like, praising the sky kind of.

[Gunther]

Maybe.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

When you say, could you maybe visually help me understand what surrounded by magic looks like? As far as a constellation is concerned.

[Gustavo Sorola]

If you were looking out at the sky yourself like a galaxy, like clouds of stars swirling around.

[Tolf]

Does Doug remember if this looks like any of the imagery he saw on those mosaics?

[Gustavo Sorola]

No, it does not look like that. Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Do you think Sergeant's DLI is good or bad or dumb?

[Tolf]

What an interesting question to randomly ask us.

[Natty Wonder]

I would designate him as. He's a lawful neutral. He's not here to play any favorites. He's here to make soldiers who follow orders.

[Tolf]

Yeah, on one hand, it could be tough love, like some parents or authority figures might give you. But I also feel like I'm kind of with you, Gunther, where it seems like he's got something out for us for some reason.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, we did, according to his sense of reality. We did have contraband. We did not follow orders and took a nap. And then the next thing he found us in was in the arm rehab and broken into a bunch of important chests.

[Gunther]

I would opt for ignorance, you know? Cause, like, I don't think he's bad, but he doesn't really look beyond what surface level things he sees, you know? Like, he doesn't question why we have these things in our foot lockers. He doesn't think that maybe a team might have put them there. He's just like, oh, they're here and you are in trouble now. La la.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I think that's kind of what I was trying to get at with your interaction with Kandranos. It's like people see things in different ways depending on their perspective and what they've seen.

[Gunther]

Yeah, but like, Kanjronos is, like, straight up dead to me. Okay?

[Gustavo Sorola]

So, you know, you all are outside now, and like I said, there's not a to people. There are like small groups of people milling about. And the weather is currently dry and hot. Seems unseasonably hotter than normal. What's your plan? What do you guys want to do? You could. You've got some downtime. You're confined to the fort for the rest of the day, for the rest of the evening.

[Tolf]

I mean, should we take a rest or anything like that? I don't know how people are wearing or.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So during this time, you have the opportunity for a long rest. So we would just classify this as downtime. If there's anything you want to do, if you want to craft, if you want to hunt, if you want to like do like party building or like team building exercises or go study or. I mean, you tell me. The world's your oyster.

[Gunther]

I wouldn't mind going to like, you know, this is crazy. Hear me out. Like level four. I don't know. You know, let's just get nuts. Let's get crazy.

[Natty Wonder]

Gosh dang it.

[Tolf]

I got a quick question. I want to work on something. Do you mind if I borrow one of your weapons?

[Gunther]

Oh, yeah, by all means, yeah. Which one would you want?

[Tolf]

Which one do you like to use? Like, what's your favorite? What's your favorite guy in inventory? You got.

[Gunther]

I am. I'm quite fond of my warhammer.

[Tolf]

Okay.

[Gunther]

So here. Here you go.

[Tolf]

During this downtime, because I believe it takes an hour, could I please infuse Toll's camera? And I'm going to pick what I want to info infuse that with blueberries. Could I just do enhanced weapon? It would give a plus one bonus to attack and damage rolls made with this weapon.

[Gunther]

Oh, sure. How long does this effect last for?

[Tolf]

Forever, basically. If I basically have two of these that I could do. And then if like, let's say I do a third, I think the first one that I did would lose that infusion.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Correct. Okay.

[Gunther]

So stay on Doug's goods inside.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Guarded Doug, how would you go about doing that? Like, what does that look like? What do you need? Where do you go?

[Tolf]

I probably just kind of find like a little workbench that would exist, I assume out here somewhere. I assume there's like benches and places to sit down. And then I would use my tools, my smith's tools, I guess.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure.

[Tolf]

And kind of like sharpen some areas and. And tinker with it. I guess those would be tinker's tools and just use my abilities to make it cool.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure.

[Natty Wonder]

Spoken like somebody who's done some blacksmithing in the past.

[Tolf]

Sure have not.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, we know what Doug's gonna be doing for the next hour. What about the other three of you?

[Doug Boone]

Gunther? After observing Doug workshopping Toll's weapon, he goes and he holds up the piece of metal that I found with the croak folk down below and asked Doug, what do you think of this? Do you seem so well versed in the art of smithing?

[Tolf]

Was it metal or was it a piece of a blade?

[Gunther]

It was like blue.

[Natty Wonder]

Blue metal shard.

[Gunther]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

And that's kind of why he's asking, like, seeing you working, workshopping on a weapon. If you. If you know anything about it, could.

[Tolf]

Doug take a look at it and see if he knows anything about it? Although I'm. Have we done that before? I forget if, like, we did that when we found it.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I believe you did when you found it. But you can give it another look. You know, now you're. Doug's in the zone, you know, working on stuff and in an artificer mindset. So why don't you make me a. Let's call it an arcana check? Why not?

[Tolf]

Oh, my God. 6. I either roll real good or real bad.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It's really the way life goes. It's a fine piece of high quality metal. It's like nothing you've worked with before. This is far more exotic. I think Doug's background is in more mundane metals and more mundane items that he then elevates and makes better.

[Tolf]

Well, this is a fine piece of metal, but I typically work with more mundane things. And, you know, this seems to be a piece of maybe something else that Doug's not as familiar with.

[Gustavo Sorola]

There's not a lot of it, but perhaps you could forge it to something else or use it to augment another item, like a supplement of types.

[Gunther]

Ooh, like creatine.

[Tolf]

You know, there's not a lot of it, but perhaps I could use some of it to augment something else. And it looks. It looks like a piece of a blade.

[Gunther]

Right.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So it's a sharp fragment of blue metal that feels cool to the touch. And it looks like it was at some point the part of a blade. It's just a shard of one for now.

[Tolf]

Okay.

[Gustavo Sorola]

And it seems like the colors dance and play on it. And it seemed. And if you remember, it was in the cryptics that was on the body of a croak folk that you found in a pit.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. Okay.

[Tolf]

So, I mean, Gunther, if you want to give it to me, I could maybe, like, try to incorporate into something or augment it in some way. But you're also welcome to hold on to it for now if you'd like.

[Doug Boone]

I'll hold on, but if you think of anything, let me know.

[Tolf]

Oh, I'll be thinking, is there other.

[Doug Boone]

Like, materials and stuff for the army? Because I thought I'd had Smith tools as well. Is that, like, equipment I could go and look for? Just so I had some.

[Tolf]

Is it in your inventory?

[Doug Boone]

Well, I have proficiency with Smith tools, so whenever. Whenever I initially encountered them, I thought I was like, oh, I don't need these. I already have some.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, you could try to find some here. I think the only Smith you've seen so far is that one in the armory.

[Doug Boone]

I don't want to go back in there.

[Gunther]

No.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, but I think you might not want to go back in there for now.

[Natty Wonder]

We know how to get in.

[Doug Boone]

I have a question. Do we know where bodies are taken?

[Gustavo Sorola]

What do you mean?

[Doug Boone]

Like, of the enemy?

[Tolf]

Like, they're like a grave site.

[Doug Boone]

The magistrate that was killed, do we know where their body might be?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, dummy. I think that's something they typically don't handle here. Normally, you know, the battles are fought off in the battlefield and not at this fort, per se. This is not, like, super up close to the front, so there's not, like, a designated facility for that.

[Doug Boone]

Is it worth looking? I'm asking the group.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, I would say you peeled off and you went with Doug, and you're gonna be dealing with that fragment for a while. So I need to figure out what tol. The Natty are doing in their downtime as well.

[Gunther]

Wait.

[Natty Wonder]

Natty tell if you want to go for a walking and take Gigi for a walk.

[Gunther]

Oh, my gosh. That sounds so, like, amazing. We've had such a stressful day. No. Good walk is just nice, you know?

[Natty Wonder]

I agree. And Gigi gets. He gets. He gets so rambunctious if I don't walk him.

[Gunther]

Well, yeah, he's gonna get the zoomies, like, so bad. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Yes.

[Gustavo Sorola]

So Toll's gonna take Giggy for a walk.

[Natty Wonder]

No. Natty with Tolvin. Giggy.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Gotcha.

[Gunther]

I had something that I wanted to do, but I also want to entertain what Natty's doing.

[Natty Wonder]

That's fine.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Do you have to make a roll to see if Giggy's compliant with this?

[Natty Wonder]

I pull him.

[Gustavo Sorola]

This is me.

[Tolf]

Pull.

[Natty Wonder]

This is me. This is. I'll do a strength check against Gigi.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Why don't you do me a favor and just Roll it. And that way we'll know whether or not Giggy's going willingly or he's being dragged behind you.

[Natty Wonder]

He says an 8, so he's not going willingly.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay. So you two begin walking and you're dragging Giggy, who's just leaving like a burrow in the ground. Yeah, Just leaving.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Sorola]

A rut.

[Gunther]

Claw marks.

[Natty Wonder]

It's okay. When we get going, he'll. He'll see something he likes and he'll. He'll want to chase it, and he will. It's for the best for him, you know?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. You begin walking out from the headquarters and making your way around the fort and you see a few different buildings. The headquarters itself is located in the southwestern portion of the fort. As you walk to the north from there, you pass by the armory, which you're very familiar with the inside of after recent events. Continuing north past there, you pass by the seesaw where you have performed a lot of training over your past months here at the fort. Continuing around from there, you pass by the Kordege courtyard where, you know, you had your passing out ceremony yesterday, slash earlier today, actually. Then continuing around south in a loop from there, you pass by the mess hall which you helped put out a fire there. Then across from there or in that same general area next to it, and across the courtyard are the barracks. And then a little further south from there, that takes you to the main gate. So you complete your loop around the fort. Endrich.

[Natty Wonder]

Well, I wanted to have a little conversation with. To.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Okay.

[Natty Wonder]

To. Hey, how you feeling? How you feeling? It's been like a few months now in this, this here army. How you feeling?

[Gunther]

I'm like feeling pretty good, but you know, today kind of shook me cuz like we went on our first big combat mission and like everyone was like all up in our butts, you know, and Kandranos like lied about us. So that's not very cool. So like, I'm a little on guard.

[Natty Wonder]

You seem to have a very particular way that you handle trust with people. Yeah, it seems that it's. It's a. It's something that can easily be broken with you. Is that. Where's that come from?

[Gunther]

Well, so like, like, you know, full disclosure, I came from, you know, some other military type situation and I had a very strict upper brain singing, but I had a very close crew of people that were like my brothers and sisters and like, we had like very good trust with one another. So now that I'm coming into a situation where like my supposed allies are like turning on me it just, you know, makes me miss the olden days. But some of the olden days parts, the camaraderie mostly, not like the stuff we had to do.

[Natty Wonder]

Who was your former commanding officer in this, this, this military, like, environment you were in?

[Gunther]

Oh, we do not talk about ironclad. He's like a bad dude. Oh, he makes me so upset.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, I. Then I would assume that y'all. Y'all left on bad terms before you came here to the military.

[Gunther]

Just kind of nods his head.

[Natty Wonder]

Like violent terms told.

[Gunther]

Just kind of nods his head.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, okay. Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I'm sorry to hear that. That's not. That must have been traumatizing.

[Gunther]

Oh, totally traumatizing. But that's totally cool. You did not know. I'm glad I got that off my chest. So, like, tell me about your upbringing. Like, what's going on with you and stuff.

[Natty Wonder]

Oh, you know, you all. You know about my village that come from with my mamas, they're the priestesses there in my village, you know, I. I grew up learning everything I could about, you know, warlock magic. I don't know if you call something else that. And. Oh, yeah, and I, I'm, you know, I got my son Gigi here, and, you know, it's tough, you know, raised him on my own, but, you know, his mom is busy and so, you know, this is something that I'm happy to take care of.

[Gunther]

Well, I did want to clear the air. You know, we had that whole thing with like the. The mongrels and how like they died, and I felt like that was not cool because they were in a cage, you know, And I know that you have like a relationship with death, and I don't know what that means, but I don't want to like, make fun of or like in pass judgment on your, like, religious beliefs. But, you know, I come from a background where, you know, combat and violence was like a day to day thing. And it just, I'm just like, rubbed me raw, you know, I don't like those situations. They make me feel bad about things that have happened in my past. So, like, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf. And when I saw that, it just brought me back to the old days. And I'm sorry if I reacted poorly.

[Natty Wonder]

No, I get it. Without context, that would be something jarring to see. But honestly, anytime that, you know, I'm in a situation where, you know, I gotta. I gotta send somebody on for their final trip. I know I'm just sending them to See my wife and they'll enjoy it when they see her.

[Gunther]

Oh, well, that's. That's beautiful. I didn't know that element of it, but yeah, maybe we'll just have to, like, learn more about each other, you know, I need to, like, be accepting to your beliefs, but I also want to hold true to, you know, my beliefs and. And try not to, like, create unnecessary violence, you know?

[Natty Wonder]

No, I get it. Well, everyone's full of multitudes.

[Tolf]

I wish Doug and Gunther could be there for this very heartwarming conversation.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Worry, you know, all of that's going on, you know, to and Natty are having this conversation. So at the same time, while Doug is working on his artificer things, you know, Doug and Gunther can have their own conversation as well.

[Gunther]

I'm just imagining hard cut and Gunther is just staring at, like, his, like, little frog eyes.

[Gustavo Sorola]

They're not even blinking in time. At the same time, it's like one and then the other.

[Tolf]

Gunto. You know, just. Just us two buds here hanging out. You know what? You want to do some bonding or anything like that, or.

[Natty Wonder]

Okay, that's exactly how I talk to my bros. Hey, you want to do some bonding?

[Tolf]

Listen, you know, Doug hasn't had a lot of experience, you know, bonding with people, so.

[Doug Boone]

Why not?

[Tolf]

Oh, just. I've had a really rough kind of history. I don't really talk about it much, but, you know, some stuff happened, and then I was alone for a while, and I didn't really make any friends, really, for the entirety of my life. And so, you know, I just. I guess, like, what do you do to make friends, typically? Like, what. What do you like to do as a friend?

[Doug Boone]

I do not have friends, really, so I do not know. We shall learn together, maybe.

[Tolf]

I like that idea. So, like, what are your hobbies?

[Doug Boone]

I like searching and training, and I'm only here in a moment of my time, but my spirit is not here. It is elsewhere.

[Tolf]

You know, this is a. This is a lot deeper than I thought this conversation would go. I thought you would say, like, oh, hiking, or, you know.

[Doug Boone]

Do you have family or.

[Tolf]

No, I. I do. I have family, but. No, I said I just. Some really bad stuff happened with my family, and I don't really like to talk about it. I feel like a lot of us are healed because of that, you know?

[Doug Boone]

Do you like to draw?

[Tolf]

I do. I'm not very good at it. I like to draw math equations, if that counts. Do you like to draw?

[Doug Boone]

I was going to say if you do not like to talk about it. You could draw it.

[Tolf]

Oh, I don't. It would be a little too graphic for me to draw.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, no.

[Gunther]

Oh, my.

[Doug Boone]

How did you learn math?

[Tolf]

Oh, well, you know, I. I've always been interested in, you know, learning about the world and. And just how things work. And so, you know, I've always been interested in studies, and, you know, math is. Is something that's so universal, and that, you know, explains a lot about how things work. And so math has always been a really big interest of mine, but I just. I just love learning.

[Doug Boone]

Is that what you're looking for? What are you looking for?

[Tolf]

That's too big of a question for me right now. What are you looking for? I've learned in my book about friendship that, you know, someone asks you a question, and you answer, and then you return the question to them as well as a sign of, you know, friendship.

[Doug Boone]

Well, I do not like math. I do not understand it.

[Tolf]

Oh, maybe I could teach you a thing or two.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, okay. Starting with two.

[Tolf]

Well, technically, it starts with one.

[Gunther]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Tolf]

I assume we cut back to the other to go through the numbers.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I'm actually gonna do a different cut. So, Tove, if there's anything you want to do after your walk with Natty.

[Gunther]

The only thing I can think of is what happened to that foot leg thing that we found in the caves.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I guess one of you kept it, right?

[Tolf]

Did.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Was there, or did you all leave it there?

[Gunther]

I don't think it was explicitly stated. I wouldn't mind investigating it if someone or myself had held on to it.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Anyone called dibs.

[Natty Wonder]

I didn't write down a note that said anybody took it.

[Tolf]

I don't think I took it.

[Doug Boone]

I assumed someone took it.

[Gunther]

Can we imagine that? I took it. Oh, my God. Wow.

[Natty Wonder]

I know. I know. You recognize what the medal was or you recognize something about the metal.

[Gunther]

But, like. Like, after, like, a big, long hug with Natty and just, like, so grateful for our friendship and like a distant, careful pat on Gigi's head without trying to get bitten, I did want to pull out that leg and see, like, what is up with this thing? Was it, like. Like, what is it exactly?

[Gustavo Sorola]

You know, when you all first started unearthing it, it was just like the toe portion of a metal shoe. Then as you all unearthed it, it revealed an entire metallic leg forged from some kind of unknown metal. You all asked if the joints articulate or if it was like, a statue and the joints do articulate and move about. If you want, you can make, like, a history check. Maybe to see if you're able to glean any more information from it.

[Gunther]

Sure. 16.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah, it's a. It's definitely an exotic metal. You feel like you've encountered this kind of metal in your travels in the past, but it's not something that is very common by any stretch of the imagination.

[Gunther]

Now, was it, like, ripped off of something, or was it, like, cut, like, sheared, like. Like. Can I determine the how this thing was, like, removed from its owner?

[Gustavo Sorola]

It seems like it was being crafted. Like, maybe it wasn't complete yet. It was. Maybe it was a prototype, or maybe it was part of a larger construct that wasn't done and it hasn't been attached yet.

[Gunther]

The weird mystery. Okay. That's all just, like, what the heck is a leg doing without its owner? There's, like, a guy, like, hobbling around right now, probably.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, it was a weird room with the murals and the horoscope as well.

[Gunther]

Yeah. Okay.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Gunther, was there anything else you want to do? I know you mentioned the shard thing. I want to make sure there was nothing else you wanted to accomplish before the night ends.

[Doug Boone]

I kind of was curious about looking at trying to find the magistrate's body and see if there was anything on that.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You all went through and looted the magistrate after you killed him. And I believe, if I recall properly, you all found his wig that he had ripped off and nothing else on his body at that time.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, I guess not so much looting. Just investigating the body. If I would know where it would be.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Like I said, they don't necessarily have a building or facility for that here. But you suspect that most likely it would be taken to the abbey for disposal of some type.

[Doug Boone]

Can I go there and look?

[Gustavo Sorola]

You can't, because you all have been remanded to stay on Fort Endridge for the night.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Tolf]

Oh, and we're under strict supervision.

[Natty Wonder]

Maybe we head to bunks.

[Tolf]

Could I give Tolve back his hammer?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. What would Doug say as he presents it to Tolve? Like, is there a ceremony of some kind?

[Tolf]

Sir Tov, I present thee an infused item that I have worked on for the past hour or so while chatting with Gundel. This is a improved warhammer. And he bows down and, like, presents it to him.

[Gunther]

Wow. This is, like, genuinely one of the nicest things I've ever gotten. Like, I don't get gifts. Like, ever. So, like, this is. This is very touching, dog. Thank you.

[Tolf]

And then he holds up a screen that has a tip screen on it. 20, 25, and 30. So just for math, Meta game purposes. You would customize the item and you would add one to hit bonus and then one to damage bonus.

[Gunther]

Cool.

[Doug Boone]

Awesome.

[Gunther]

This is hard to say without being in meta, but I'm gonna try to do it in character. Doug, for doing this for me, this very touching act. You know, just so you know, like, if we ever get into a sticky situation and you need like a big favor, you just ask. Okay. Like I. I owe you big time for this. For real. On God.

[Tolf]

Oh, you don't owe me anything, Tov. You know, I'm. I'm happy to do it for you. I. You know, talking with Gunto, you know, I've already learned a lot about friendship and you know, friends do do things for each other, nice things for each.

[Gunther]

Other, even if it's a. Whatever action, if it's kind of a throwaway thing for you to is genuinely touched because like, I think you can tell like this is not common for him to experience this kind of thing.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh, so nice.

[Gunther]

This is very touchy.

[Tolf]

I think some people might call this a bromance.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Oh my gosh.

[Gunther]

Yes. Sign me up.

[Gustavo Sorola]

All right. So do you all retire to your bunks?

[Tolf]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

[Natty Wonder]

Yeah. Before bed, Natty does her flashcards with Gigi. They're. They're covered in different kinds of plagues and way piece ways people can die.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Love it.

[Gunther]

I do my skin routine, of course.

[Doug Boone]

And Gunther reads from a book and I guess meditates slash prays.

[Gustavo Sorola]

What book?

[Doug Boone]

It's his book of stuff.

[Tolf]

Is it. Is it a math book that Doug lended you?

[Natty Wonder]

It's Frog and Toad. It's his favorite series.

[Doug Boone]

No, it's more like journal religious stuff that he kind of keeps to himself.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Sure. Alright, so you all go through your nighttime routine and call it a night. You are tuckered out from your long court martialing day. And everyone gets an inspiration. Die. And I think I already told you to take a long rest. But make sure you click the long rest. If you have it done slowly, you all begin waking up the next morning more or less pretty much all together at the same time. And as you do so, you wake up and you look around and you see private parts standing there watching, waiting for you guys to wake up.

[Natty Wonder]

It's not creepy at all.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Morning, B team.

[Doug Boone]

Good morning.

[Gunther]

Good morning.

[Natty Wonder]

I've got new orders for you guys.

[Gustavo Sorola]

It's your first mission. Go on, find out what it is on the next episode of Killing the.

[Natty Wonder]

Stingy Dragon, you turd.

[Gunther]

That was like a surprisingly emotional episode. And also that court marshaling that was tough. That was like the hardest role play I think I've experienced with this show.

[Tolf]

I was legit sweating.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I was like, y'all did a good enough job throwing doubt in there.

[Gunther]

Oh, that's good. Good enough from Gus.

[Gustavo Sorola]

That's.

[Gunther]

That's just.

[Natty Wonder]

He couldn't say you guys did a good job, but he could say good enough job.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You don't have to prove innocence, you just have to prove not guilty.

[Tolf]

Should we cut on our recordings?

[Gustavo Sorola]

Yeah. Thanks for listening, everybody.

[Tolf]

Oh, sorry.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Bye.

[Gunther]

Bye.

[Gustavo Sorola]

New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and of course on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a [e-mail] or become a member of Beacon at Beacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series, Second Win and a member only Discord, for their respective platforms. If you become a patron, you get access to even more exclusive bonus content, Stinky Dragon Community and Discord events. And you might even get your name shouted out just like Juliet Vanderson, Luna Dawn, Aaron Desert Spins, or as he's also known, Aaron of the Spins, Allison Wright and Martin Svoboda. Hope I said that right, Martin. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes, access to our patronly Discord server, bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and so much more. Again, that's stinky. Dragonpod.com we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show Listeners who interact with us on the Stinky dragon. Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode. Like Private Classic Lassic, named after Dirk, voiced by Kerry Shawcross. Erishawcross. Private Kangenos, voiced by Jillian MaloneyJillen from Red Web Pod. Private Private Parts, voiced by Ben Ernst at HalcyonBen and Captain Kmart. K. Martin, named after, you guessed it, Captain Kmart, voiced by Paige Wesley from cult podcast RampageWestley on Instagram. This week's Arrow question was submitted by FriendlyFire675. This episode of Tales from the Sticky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited and composed pose by Michael Reisner with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Tolf]

This is a tough one, guys. We're. We're quite in the pickle here.

[Gunther]

You guys are doing a good job. I was.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I was waiting for Doug to step in.

[Tolf]

Got Doug here on the ones and twos ready to report in from this Joey Duty not looking so good, our B team. We got Micah and Ben here to, you know, give their thoughts on the current situation, standings of things.

[Gustavo Sorola]

Well, it's not looking good but you.

[Gunther]

Know, I think there's a chance that you could go to jail, figure things out.

[Tolf]

You can.

[Gustavo Sorola]

You can fix it.

[Gunther]

I know you can.

[Tolf]

Doug could figure it out.

[Gunther]

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[Doug Boone]

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[Gunther]

Imagine if you got daily bonuses in.

[Natty Wonder]

Other parts of your life.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I chose french fries over loaded french fries.

[Natty Wonder]

I asked Stuart from accounting about his weekend even though I don't care.

[Gustavo Sorola]

I updated my operating system without having to call tech support.

[Gunther]

Collect your free daily [e-mail] now and.

[Doug Boone]

Live the Chumba life.

[Gunther]

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[Gustavo Sorola]

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