C03 - Ep. 09 - Mission Through Middrus - Garden Variety Grilp

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon – Episode C03 Ep. 09: "Mission Through Middrus - Garden Variety Grilp"

Release Date: January 22, 2025
Host/Author: Stinky Dragon

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1. Mission Briefing and Recap ([02:52] – [04:30])

Dungeon Master Gustavo Rola opens the episode by recapping the adventurers' previous mission, where they were summoned by Sergeant Steel Eye to investigate Endridge Bay in search of Fismum. The team—Natty Wonder (a drow warlock), Gunther (a fighter), Doug Boone (a bugbear artificer), and Tove (a male orc barbarian)—embarks on their new quest, delving into the mysterious ruins of Raisin. Their journey initially led them to Teehi to retrieve trees, but a misstep caused them to miss the forest, setting the stage for the current adventure.

2. Role-Playing Warm-Up: Favorite Candies ([02:52] – [07:52])

To kickstart the session, Gustavo initiates a role-playing warm-up where each player shares their character's favorite candy. This segment not only serves as an icebreaker but also deepens character development and camaraderie among the players.

• Natty Wonder (John Risinger): "I love me some candy. Candy every day. Candy for breakfast, candy for lunch, candy for dinner." ([04:30])

• Doug Boone (Barbara Dunkleman): "I'm loving me some candy corn." ([05:04])

• Tove (Blaine Gibson): Expresses a preference for sea salt candies, highlighting his character's unfamiliarity with traditional sweets. ([08:05])

• Gunther (Chris Dumaris): Struggles to choose a favorite candy, ultimately admitting a soft spot for candy corn despite its polarizing reputation. ([05:09])

This playful exchange sets a humorous and light-hearted tone, emphasizing the group's dynamic and individual quirks.

3. Entering the Tree Sanctuary ([02:52] – [19:38])

The adventurers arrive at the tree sanctuary, a dilapidated structure measuring approximately 35x50 feet with three prominent tree exhibits and a central fountain. The absence of glass and the precarious construction add an eerie ambiance. As they explore, small green-skinned demons, resembling house cats in size but menacing with fangs, begin to emerge from the trees.

• Gustavo Rola: "The door was barely hanging on the hinges... There was a fountain in the middle and three tree exhibits." ([19:00])

4. Initial Combat Encounter ([16:39] – [23:48])

Gunther takes the lead, attacking the closest demon with precision.

• Gunther: "It's a 23 that hits. That's 14 damage." ([19:50])

Tove follows suit, using his warhammer to decimate another demon, resulting in the creature's disintegration.

• Tove: "It's super effective." ([20:00])

Doug and Natty engage cautiously, with Doug expressing a deep-seated aversion to trees, hinting at his character's backstory and motivations.

• Doug Boone: "Let me lay down the layers like a candy corn..." ([05:37])

The battle intensifies as Gustavo rolls for the Non-Player Characters (NPCs), adding strategic depth to the encounter.

5. Escalation and Building Collapse ([33:06] – [51:38])

Barbara decides to cast Firebolt at the Hogwash Hickory tree to prevent further demon entries. The spell successfully ignites the tree, causing fiery demons to emerge and the building to become structurally unstable.

• Barbara Dunkleman: "And I cast Firebolt at the Hogwash Hickory." ([33:04])

As flames engulf the tree, additional demons with fiery wings appear, escalating the combat scenario. The building begins to collapse, forcing the adventurers to fight swiftly amidst falling debris.

Natty and Doug utilize their abilities strategically, with Doug casting Hex to weaken the adversaries.

• Doug Boone: "I cast hex on them and place a curse." ([39:07])

The tension peaks as the sanctuary's integrity fails, leading the group to fall into a dark cavern illuminated by glowing obelisks and hearing the ominous proclamation:

• Mysterious Voice: "I filled this forest to its knees, and so shall you." ([73:38])

6. Character Interactions and Humor ([04:30] – [76:58])

Throughout the episode, the players engage in humorous banter and character-driven jokes, enhancing the comedic aspect of the podcast.

• Natty Wonder: "Candy every day... Candy for breakfast, candy for lunch, candy for dinner." ([04:30])

• Barbara Dunkleman: "I hope we learn Private Parts can't actually read or write..." ([06:44])

• Tove: "I'm mama on the land now. You know, I could try some things, live a little." ([08:05])

These interactions provide levity amidst the intense combat, showcasing the players' chemistry and the podcast's blend of adventure and comedy.

7. Cliffhanger and Conclusion ([73:38] – [74:45])

As the building collapses, the adventurers find themselves in a subterranean cavern adorned with petrified wood obelisks. The episode concludes on a suspenseful note with the adventurers facing an unknown threat, setting up anticipation for the next episode.

• Mysterious Voice: "I filled this forest to its knees, and so shall you." ([73:38])

• Barbara Dunkleman: "A Baron?" ([74:15])

The mention of the Baron introduces a new antagonist, promising deeper layers to the ongoing narrative.

Notable Quotes:

• Doug Boone: "Candy every day. Candy for breakfast, candy for lunch, candy for dinner." ([04:30])

• Barbara Dunkleman: "I hope we learn Private Parts can't actually read or write..." ([06:44])

• Mysterious Voice: "I filled this forest to its knees, and so shall you." ([73:38])

Conclusion

"Mission Through Middrus - Garden Variety Grilp" delivers a perfect blend of adventure, humor, and character development. As the adventurers navigate through treacherous environments and formidable foes, their interactions and witty exchanges provide an engaging listening experience. The episode skillfully balances intense combat sequences with light-hearted moments, culminating in a suspenseful cliffhanger that leaves listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment.

Whether you're a seasoned D&D player or new to the genre, this episode offers a captivating journey through exotic lands filled with strange creatures and gripping stories, all delivered by a fully-voiced cast with immersive sound design and a catchy soundtrack.

Stay Tuned:
Join the stinky dragon and his foolish friends in their next adventure as they uncover the mysteries surrounding the enigmatic Baron. Don't miss out on the thrilling continuation of their quest through Middrus!

Transcript

[Ryan Reynolds]

Yeah, sure thing. Hey, you sold that car yet?

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah, sold it to Carvana.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Oh, I thought you were selling to that guy.

[Chris Dumaris]

The guy who wanted to pay me in foreign currency.

[Gustavo Rola]

No interest over 36 months. Yeah, no.

[Chris Dumaris]

Carvana gave me an offer in minutes, picked it up and paid me on the spot. It was so convenient.

[Gustavo Rola]

Just like that? Yeah.

[Ryan Reynolds]

No hassle?

[Gustavo Rola]

None.

[Ryan Reynolds]

That is super convenient. Sell your car to Carvana and swap hassle for convenience.

[Gustavo Rola]

Pick up.

[Ryan Reynolds]

These may apply.

[Doug Boone]

Hey there, Ryan Reynolds here. It's a new year and you know what that means. No, not the diet resolutions. A way for us all to try and do a little bit better than.

[Gustavo Rola]

We did last year.

[Doug Boone]

And my resolution, unlike big wireless, is to not be a raging and raise the price of wireless on you every chance I get. Give it a [e-mail] switch.

[Ryan Reynolds]

$45 upfront payment required. Equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees, extra speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited. See mintmobile.com for details.

[Gustavo Rola]

ABC Tim Allen and Kat Dennings star in the new family comedy Shifting Gears.

[Blaine Gibson]

Dad, I'm broke and I need a place to stay until I figure out.

[Gustavo Rola]

What the rest of my life looks like. So a couple of days when his daughter moves back in. The last time you walked out that.

[Chris Dumaris]

Door, you looked back at me and.

[Doug Boone]

Gave me a double bird.

[Blaine Gibson]

I was 18. The double bird was how I ended all our conversations.

[Gustavo Rola]

The wheels come off.

[Blaine Gibson]

Can we try to talk to each other like rational adults?

[Gustavo Rola]

Have you watched the news lately?

[Doug Boone]

That's not a thing anymore.

[Gustavo Rola]

New Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu.

[John Risinger]

Good day to all you degenerate titans. Stomp your way into the stinky dragon and drink up our latest leaf juice. Rock softly and carry a big stick. It's a mixture of moody matcha powder, a herd's worth of goat's milk, dried up water, a boulder of brown sugar and topped with a vanilla earth. Strike one swig of this huge hand warmer and you'll be shouting at the top of your reality bending lungs. Previously, our adventurers were summoned by Sergeant Steel Eye to find out their first mission. An excursion to Endridge Bay to find Fismum. First, the four of them forged forward and reached the ruins of Raisin. After some surreptitious scouting and learning from locals, they traveled to Teehi, tasked to retrieve trees. But they found out they had missed the forest. For the fiends. Bring over a brew and let's buckle up for this bedtime tale.

[Gustavo Rola]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Rola, joined by our four players. And I'm gonna hit them with a role playing warm up. Question. An arrow. I realized that we introduced the concept of the arrow in Campaign two, and I don't know if I said what it stands for in Campaign 3. And now that we're nine episodes in, this morning, I was like, maybe I should. I should reiterate that.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah.

[Chris Dumaris]

Isn't an acronym.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. A role playing warmup.

[Tove]

Oh.

[Chris Dumaris]

See, I always wondered why the R was missing.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Wouldn't it be our. Our role playing warm.

[Gustavo Rola]

A R O W R Pro.

[Doug Boone]

What's the R? What's the O?

[Gustavo Rola]

Role R O, O.

[Chris Dumaris]

What?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Micah is saying it's a roll playing Warm up.

[Doug Boone]

There he goes. What's our warm up?

[Chris Dumaris]

Just put us out of our misery. Hit us with that arrow.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, here you go. Point blank shot. What is your character's favorite candy?

[Doug Boone]

Gotta do that. At disadvantage if you're point blank.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

A D20. I rolled a nine.

[Doug Boone]

Nat 20.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

John first.

[Micah]

10.

[Chris Dumaris]

16.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

John Blaine.

[Blaine Gibson]

Chris. Me.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, that was a nine for Doug. Natty, what is your favorite candy? And this was sent by red panda. 1316.

[Doug Boone]

It's my favorite kind of panda. Hi, everybody. I'm John Risinger and I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock. And I don't think it comes to surprise of anybody, but I've got quite the sweet tooth. I love me some candy. I love me some candy. Candy every day. Candy for breakfast, candy for lunch, candy for dinner.

[Gustavo Rola]

Your dentist must love you.

[Doug Boone]

We don't have dentists in our village.

[Chris Dumaris]

Chris, you play Gunther.

[Tove]

What are you.

[Micah]

That's what I was gonna say. You're describing me, John.

[Doug Boone]

And you know, it's hard to pick my favorite candy because that's like. That's like picking your favorite kid, which is easy for me because I only got one. But favorite candy. I'm going to ruffle some feathers, but I want people to keep an open mind when I say this, okay? I don't want no negative Nancy looking at you. Tov looking at you.

[Tove]

Oh, no. I drove.

[Blaine Gibson]

Is never negative.

[Doug Boone]

Never. I'm loving me some candy corn.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, that is a. I said.

[Doug Boone]

I said none of that. Doug, I. Doug, I'm looking at you.

[Blaine Gibson]

You can't see my facial expression right now. I am facing outside the booth of your confession booth.

[Doug Boone]

I've decided it's not a booth. It's a campfire that we're having these questions. So that's why we're having a conversation.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh.

[Blaine Gibson]

So basically, I'm, like, underlit by the.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

File right now, so you can really see the frown on my face now.

[Doug Boone]

I know. Here's. Let me explain a little bit. Let me lay down like wax.

[Tove]

That's fine.

[Doug Boone]

Let me lay down the layers like a candy corn. It's got layers of color. And candy corn is something that not everybody likes and not everybody understands. Not everybody gets what it is. But some people have a special relationship with candy corn. Some people have special memories with it. And it's not just about the taste or the texture. It's about what it means to some people. And that's what it means to me. Candy corn is special to me.

[Tove]

So bad flavor.

[Gustavo Rola]

What does it mean to you?

[Doug Boone]

I'm asking you one more time, Tova. We're gonna have a talking to in private. Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

Well, technically, it was me who yuck your yum for.

[Doug Boone]

He started up though.

[Blaine Gibson]

He.

[Doug Boone]

He may. He may have made a sound. Gig's growling at to. Gigi's growling at to.

[Tove]

No, no.

[Doug Boone]

Roll for it.

[Gustavo Rola]

I feel like from the area, you are natty. Correct me if I'm wrong, I feel like peanut brittle is a popular. Typically a popular candy. I'm with where you're from.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, yeah. Or some pralines. Pralines. That's some good stuff, too.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

This is a side tangent from the podcast. This is real life story.

[Doug Boone]

But John, second win. Just kidding.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

John is the first person who introduced me to reindeer snacks. Or I forget what they were, but they were like reindeer food, something that you make during Christmas, which was like.

[Doug Boone]

It'S basically take like, almost like a Chex mix kind of thing and just toss it in white chocolate and, like, powdered sugar. So then it's just like this, like, chunky, chocolatey treat.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

It was so good.

[Gustavo Rola]

I've ever seen that before.

[Chris Dumaris]

It's so bad. Yeah.

[Micah]

Homemade snack.

[Doug Boone]

I'm going to tell you one more thing that me and my kids made this weekend with. With their grandma. The mother of puppets. The grandmother of puppets. It was called, like, Hugs Pretzels. We just took, like, the circle pretzels. You put a Hugs kiss on top of it. You put in the oven for a little bit, so it softens, and then you press a candy corn into the top of it. So it's this little, like this little layered thing of, like, pretzel and chocolate and candy corn. It was a nice little fall treat, and the kids enjoyed themselves. And I've got it in my house, and I keep snacking on it.

[Chris Dumaris]

What is it called?

[Tove]

Hugs.

[Doug Boone]

It's like a hug pretzel.

[Chris Dumaris]

I have to see what this looks like.

[Tove]

Visual.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, it's very tasty.

[Chris Dumaris]

Some people make them with the circle things, but okay. Interesting.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. Anyways, that's what I like. Candy corn.

[Gustavo Rola]

We learned a lot.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. Popcorn. Gunther. I think.

[Tove]

Gunther wants to go first. I mean, it's fine.

[Gustavo Rola]

No Tolv, you interrupt. It's your turn.

[Tove]

So sorry. Hello.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yoohoo.

[Tove]

It's me, TO. I'm played by Blaine Gibson. He's a male orc Barbarian Level 3. Or I am. I get too confused. I'm going to be so for real with you guys right now. I do not have much candy eating experience. I not, you know, never really exposed to candy, but if I had to pull one out of my butt, I guess I'd say something like sea salt candies. You know, I know they make caramels.

[Doug Boone]

With sea salt or saltwater taffy.

[Tove]

Salt water taffy. That sounds interesting. Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

I would think that after your experience told that you would not want to get anywhere near sea salt for a really long time, you know?

[Tove]

You would think so. But sometimes you just develop a taste and it just doesn't go away, you know? I don't know.

[Blaine Gibson]

Fair enough.

[Doug Boone]

I was thinking that since you were a Viking, which is a little bit like a pirate, your favorite candy would be candied oranges. Because you need that because of the scurvy.

[Tove]

Oh, the scurvy. Yeah. No, never tried that either.

[Doug Boone]

You know, you know, we gotta get you some candy.

[Tove]

I gotta live life, you know, I'm mama on the land now. You know, I could try some things, live a little. So anyways, that's my story. Who's next? Gunther?

[Micah]

Yeah, I'm Chris Dumaris.

[Tove]

You don't sound like Gunther.

[Micah]

I play Gunther, the level three fighter male crook folk. Also to be pulling out of. But I like the juice of B.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, juice of pee.

[Tove]

No, he's talking about the honey.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yes, I heard pull out of butt juice of pee. And I was like, what is.

[Gustavo Rola]

What.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

What is this?

[Gustavo Rola]

You're traveling with a Creep Barbara podcast?

[Doug Boone]

I'm gonna need to take that toilet humor elsewhere.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, yes, thank you. Shout out to private parts.

[Gustavo Rola]

You mean sweaty private parts.

[Micah]

All right, honey, but that is the most delicious.

[Blaine Gibson]

I mean, that's, I guess, considered. Considered candy.

[Doug Boone]

Honeycomb.

[Tove]

What's your relationship like with bees? You know, you guys are not too far off in size. You know, they're like the size of flies. And I know that you carry those.

[Chris Dumaris]

Around as like pets.

[Tove]

Do you like bees?

[Micah]

I like bees, but they can sometimes not hurt if. They can sometimes hurt if you try to eat them.

[Tove]

You don't eat the bees, you eat their juices.

[Gustavo Rola]

So Gunther, I just want to clarify here. Are you talking about just straight pure honey or is there like any kind of preparation? Like there's that Candy from like 100 years ago called a bit of honey. Are you talking about like that kind of stuff or just like a honeycomb? You take a bite out of the wax. Just honey.

[Micah]

It's simple.

[Doug Boone]

They do those honey. Those like honey sticks, like the tubes of honey at like fall festivals and stuff. Those are yummy.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I love honey.

[Gustavo Rola]

I bet due to Gunther's diminutive size, anytime he finds a honeycomb, he always says honeycombs big. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Tove]

What is that?

[Micah]

What is that? Is that a thing?

[Gustavo Rola]

I'm just saying.

[Tove]

No honeycombs commercial.

[Chris Dumaris]

They aired in the 1940s when Gus was.

[Gustavo Rola]

It's not small. No, no, no.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, man.

[Gustavo Rola]

Hey, kids, ask your parents about it. They'll get a kick out of it.

[Chris Dumaris]

Ask your grandparents.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, man.

[Doug Boone]

Gus might be as old as some people's grandparents.

[Gustavo Rola]

I might be. I've thought about that before.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah, I mean there's. There's people who are grandparents at like, like mid-30s even. Not a lot.

[Gustavo Rola]

But I've heard back in my day we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to talk to someone, we picked up a phone. And if they weren't home, they were too bad.

[Chris Dumaris]

That's nice, Gus.

[Gustavo Rola]

Paul.

[Doug Boone]

I've told you about the time that I blew my kids mind when I told them that doordash hasn't been a thing forever.

[Chris Dumaris]

How did we eat before?

[Doug Boone]

I think that's what they thought because I was like, we used to like, like. Cause they're just used to like food is delivered all the time to our house. And I was like, that is not a normality for my entire life. And they're like, what?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah, sometimes I think about that. Like even just Uber or Lyft, I'm like, how do we get around another city? Like, what do we do?

[Gustavo Rola]

Taxis, Great bus in college. Yeah, yeah. Micah saying back in the day that we dashed. The. The door stayed. The door stayed. We was us who did the dashing.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

We dash. Hello, everyone. I am Barbara Dunkleman. Did you have anything else to ask Gus?

[Gustavo Rola]

I forgot Doug hadn't gone yet. I'm sorry.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh my God.

[Blaine Gibson]

Left. Left alone again. Poor dog. He.

[Gustavo Rola]

Sorry, Doug. I would never do that.

[Tove]

Favorite child.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I'M Barbara Dunkelman, and I play Doug Boone, the bugbear artificer, also level three.

[Blaine Gibson]

And Doug actually has, if I'm allowed, I have a least favorite candy and a most favorite candy.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, I love it.

[Doug Boone]

It's more information learning about one of my favorite bugbears I've ever seen.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, thank you, natty extra. Oh, I'm blushing. You can't see because of all the fur on my face, but I. So my. My favorite candy is nerds. Specifically the nerd clusters, because you are one. Listen, sometimes you just gotta own it. People call you names. You just gotta. You gotta lean into it, but then just go really tasty.

[Tove]

But what's your least favorite?

[Gustavo Rola]

I just. I do want to. I do wanna compliment Doug. Those gummy clusters, as the kids say, slap.

[Blaine Gibson]

They slap.

[Doug Boone]

They're sigma.

[Gustavo Rola]

No.

[Tove]

The unarmed strike.

[Blaine Gibson]

And the candy that I find, skibidi.

[Gustavo Rola]

Took an inspiration. Josh, I love it.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I already have one.

[Blaine Gibson]

The candy that is my least favorite is Tootsie Pops. And the reason for this is, you know, Doug conducted a lot of experiments while he was on his own. And one of which was how many licks to get to the center of this Tootsie Pop? The classic question. And Doug did so many tests on these that he just got really sick of them that if he sees another Tootsie Pop, he. He might get sick.

[Micah]

Many licks does it take, though?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. Do you still have your research notes?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah. On average, it would be 437.5.

[Gustavo Rola]

Wow. Not for me.

[Doug Boone]

I believe it.

[Tove]

That's a lot of research.

[Micah]

My licks are strong.

[Blaine Gibson]

Probably for Gunto. Probably be half of that. Yeah, he'd wrap his whole tongue around and go.

[Gustavo Rola]

Did you say your lips are strong?

[Micah]

Licks.

[Gustavo Rola]

Licks. Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Frogs don't have lips.

[Tove]

How's that?

[Chris Dumaris]

Uncrustable.

[Gustavo Rola]

So good.

[Tove]

I've never seen guess eat it. Uncrustable.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I did yesterday.

[Gustavo Rola]

Great. Yeah, I've got a busy day. I'm not going to have time for lunch, so I got to jam a few uncrustables. Right now.

[Chris Dumaris]

It's carbo loading.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

They're so good. Have you ever put uncrustable in the an air fryer? It slaps.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, my God.

[Chris Dumaris]

Excuse me.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Chris Dumaris]

Hey, I got to go, guys.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

We got to wrap this up early.

[Tove]

It's.

[Doug Boone]

It's pretty great.

[Gustavo Rola]

Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll see you next week with episode 10.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Be right back. Gus is off to get some nerd clusters and uncrustables.

[Gustavo Rola]

I never had an uncrustable before, like a week or two ago. And Blaine, I would see you eat them every now and then. Yeah, John, they weren't around when I was a kid. I know that.

[Doug Boone]

But they've been around for like at least like a decade.

[Gustavo Rola]

Right. But I don't have kids. Why would I ever have one? But I would see that Blaine would.

[Doug Boone]

Have them every now and then have kids.

[Gustavo Rola]

And I was like, I should try this. They're really good uncrustables. Call me. Or smokers. Call me. Let's work out a sponsorship.

[Doug Boone]

I would love an uncrustable sponsorship. It's so good.

[Gustavo Rola]

Great.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Pre workout peanut butter.

[Gustavo Rola]

They're really good. Micah. Micah says he's never had one either.

[Chris Dumaris]

Oh, try them out.

[Gustavo Rola]

I. I read the other or Esther read and sent to me that. I guess the NFL eats like 40,000 uncrustables a season.

[Chris Dumaris]

The Denver Broncos are in the lead by like a huge margin.

[Gustavo Rola]

They.

[Chris Dumaris]

They suck up the uncrustables.

[Doug Boone]

Wow. That's kind of cool.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Guess they are good pre workout.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. Like I was like, if it's good enough for Blaine in the NFL, it's good enough for just as you know, you look to the tree like you're gon harm it. You notice that the two holes that are in the trunk have eyes peering out of them, watching you. Oh.

[Micah]

Does it seem like the trees are in control here? Is that the vibe or that there.

[Chris Dumaris]

There might be. They're hollowed out fake trees and this is a secret base.

[Tove]

Might be undarians.

[Micah]

Who's in charge here?

[Gustavo Rola]

The gardener looks around nervously. And as he does so, a green skinned devil about the size of a house cat pops out of the tree. It begins flying around. And out of each of the trees, another fiend bursts out and begins swarming, circling around you and your friends. Gunther.

[Tove]

It wasn't crazy.

[Gustavo Rola]

The gardeners look at each other and say they know. Get them. So tolve had a 20, Gunther had a 21, Doug had a 14, and Natty had a 6.

[Tove]

What did private parts have? I'm sure he's going to participate.

[Gustavo Rola]

He got a 15.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, nice.

[Tove]

Well done, private.

[Blaine Gibson]

Good call. Good call.

[Gustavo Rola]

While y'all were doing your arrows, I decided to be smart for once. And I rolled initiative for all of the NPCs.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Ooh, you mean you weren't fully paying attention to our arrow questions?

[Gustavo Rola]

I was somewhat distracted. I had other things going on.

[Tove]

Rolling dice and eating smuckers.

[Gustavo Rola]

I see. Maddie, what is your. I'm gonna double check your Dexterity modifier here.

[Doug Boone]

15 plus 2.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. One of the NPCs also rolled a 6, but you will be going before them. Toll. He rolled a 20. One of the other NPCs also rolled a 20. Oh yeah, you are going first.

[Tove]

Right.

[Gustavo Rola]

So the order is. The order is going to be. Yeah, you all had some really good roles. At the top, we're gonna have Gunther and Tolve, followed by one of the enemies, then Private Parts, then Doug. So Gunther, you're going to be leading us off. I'm giving you a little bit lay of the land before you go though.

[Micah]

Lay it on me.

[Blaine Gibson]

Lay that land.

[Gustavo Rola]

So you all were in the tree sanctuary, Right. And it looks like it's kind of a rickety building. These are things that I said last time. I just want to kind of make sure you're still picturing the environment correctly in your mind. The door was barely hanging on the hinges when you all came in. And the building structure and wall seemed to be pretty precariously built. And there was. All the glass was missing. This building itself is probably about 35ft across and about 50ft long. So 35 by 50, there's three trees that were set up like exhibits and a fountain in the middle. And the gardeners were milling about in various areas and the demons popped out from the trees themselves. And these are like flying little green skinned devils about the size of a house cat. They look very mean. They got a mouthful of ugly fangs.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

In terms of like orientation. It's 50ft long, 35 across. So it's like a, a rectangle 35.

[Gustavo Rola]

Wide, then 50ft long.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, and then are we at like the bottom of that rectangle?

[Gustavo Rola]

Good question. Yeah, you all entered from the door, which is in the very south of that building. And then the fountain is to the north in the middle, and then to the north beyond that are the three tree exhibits, if you would call them that.

[Micah]

So we're at the very, very north.

[Gustavo Rola]

You'Re at the very south. Oh, but you went to the north. Correct. Because you were by the trees.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, so we're past the fountain.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yes. You're pretty close to the fountain though, the fountain from like where you are with the tree. Since the fountain's in the middle, it's only 10 to 15ft behind you. It's pretty close. Gunther, you're up first.

[Micah]

All right. And I was right next to one of the trees because I went up. Right. So yes. Where am I in relation to the three demons?

[Gustavo Rola]

Well, they all popped out of each of their respective trees so you're right by one of them. The next one's maybe five to ten feet over, and then the one after beyond that's maybe 10 to 15ft. Feet over. They're all very close to you.

[Micah]

Okay, I'm just gonna go and attack the closest one.

[Tove]

Gunther. I use you.

[Gustavo Rola]

So you attack the one closest to you. Yeah. It's flying in the air around you.

[Micah]

Can I attack it?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, go for it.

[Micah]

It's a 23 that hits. That's 14 damage.

[Blaine Gibson]

Nice.

[Gustavo Rola]

That's a lot. Yeah.

[Micah]

I rolled an eight out of eight.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

And plus six. Wow.

[Tove]

It's super effective.

[Gustavo Rola]

I think in all of your experience herding flies, you must be used to dealing with creatures that are flying about you, because you so precisely target it and lash out at it and hit it, and you cleanly slice it in two, and it falls to the ground unmoving.

[Tove]

Wow.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Can really dance.

[Gustavo Rola]

Wow.

[Micah]

I'll go to the next closest one.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Micah]

And I'll just. That's it.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. So then you just hop over, like, five feet over to the next closest one. Just so you're threatening it, I assume. Yeah. Okay.

[Micah]

And that's it.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right. Just making a note that this one is no longer with us.

[Doug Boone]

Built a bit like Frogadier. Who is a frog? Pokemon.

[Gustavo Rola]

I'll take your word for it. We didn't have Pokemon back in my day. Told Europe. Then one of these flying devils, then private parts.

[Tove]

We had magic. The gathering.

[Gustavo Rola]

Well, that wasn't until I was, like, 15, 16.

[Doug Boone]

Somewhere on there, we had rocks.

[Chris Dumaris]

Okay. Before I get into any action stuff, do I feel like there might be more things hidden, or do I feel like the enemies that are about to attack or fight are all present and accounted for?

[Tove]

Roll call. Is everybody here?

[Gustavo Rola]

Make a perception check.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Do you have danger sense? Would that help at all?

[Gustavo Rola]

Danger more for, like, dexterity saves.

[Blaine Gibson]

That's fair.

[Tove]

I do have dangers, since that's more.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Of a way of, like, a spidey sense.

[Tove]

Tove recognizes the council of barbarians.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Thank you.

[Chris Dumaris]

I'm sorry. Perception, you said?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Voila. That is a 14.

[Gustavo Rola]

So just before I answer, is there something in particular you're wary of? Blaine, from a metagame perspective, is there something you're wary of?

[Chris Dumaris]

Because there is. Is three entryways beneath the hollow trees that could potentially lead to, like.

[Tove]

I don't.

[Chris Dumaris]

I want to make sure this isn't, like, a stronghold and there's, like, a bunch of dudes below because that might affect if I, like, cover the holes or, you know, stand by them. To pop a weasel or whatever.

[Gustavo Rola]

Sure. And you rolled a 14 on your perception check?

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

You think the trees are hollow with.

[Doug Boone]

A hole or the hollow just to the ground?

[Gustavo Rola]

It's hard to tell if there's a hole to the ground. There could be more enemies in the tree or there could be more enemies below ground. Ready to come up? You think that the tree might just be a conduit of some kind?

[Chris Dumaris]

Got it.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I mean, these things are probably living underground. We've kind of discovered.

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah, yeah. Based on, like, our last experience. Plus, we heard mumbling last episode under the ground, but anyways. Okay, that's good enough.

[Tove]

I'm going to hold off on the rage, guys. I'm going to keep it cool, all right? I'm not going to rage. Okay, everybody, I want to hold those points for later.

[Gustavo Rola]

He's gonna do it.

[Tove]

No, I'm angry. No, I'm not. I'm really calm. I'm very cool. Right now. I'm just gonna take my warhammer and I'm gonna attack with two hands. Probably the fly demon. That's not the one that Gunther is face to face with. The other one.

[Gustavo Rola]

The other one. Okay.

[Tove]

Yeah. Oh, I just rolled damage for some stupid reason. That's my bad. We'll keep that in mind. If I make this roll to 15.

[Gustavo Rola]

That hits.

[Tove]

Okay. Should I take damage from before? Do you want me to re roll again?

[Gustavo Rola]

Let's just use that one. It's already there.

[Tove]

That's an 11.

[Gustavo Rola]

And this was the one not closest to Gunther. Reset, right?

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah.

[Tove]

I treat this one like a pinata. And I hope I get some nerd clusters. Am I right, dog? Yeah, man.

[Blaine Gibson]

I'm really claiming some no clusters right now.

[Tove]

Nerd clusters, honey. So good.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, yeah. You bring your warhammer down on this flying creature, and. Yeah, lots of nerd clusters come bursting out of it. Those aren't nerd clusters. Oh, I'm gonna be sick. It's on the ground, unmoving.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

It's an uncrustable.

[Chris Dumaris]

And then I'm gonna move towards a tree, and I don't know if this is an action or a movement or what. Was there any sort of. You said a conduit, like a doorway or anything like that? Was there any sort of, like, hinged door or any entryway?

[Gustavo Rola]

There's not like, a hinged door. It's just, like, various holes on the trees.

[Chris Dumaris]

Okay. I'm just gonna stand by those holes to kind of, like, get ready for anything that comes out.

[Gustavo Rola]

Sure. Just since there are three trees, is there one in particular, you want to stand by there, about 5 to 10ft apart from each other, roughly. They're set up like in a triangle.

[Tove]

I'm going to go for the chortle chestnut. That one sounds fun.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, that's the one on the left on the west side of the room.

[Tove]

Oh, going left. Yeah, yeah, that sounds good.

[Gustavo Rola]

I'm going to make a note of that.

[Tove]

That's my turn, I think.

[Gustavo Rola]

The other day, Barbara, you asked how you keep track of everything when you're dming. Lots of notes, lots of typing, lots of writing stuff down.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

My brain is not. Is not wrinkly enough for that. Very smooth.

[Gustavo Rola]

It is the flying demon's turn that is next to Gunther. It sees what you and Tol have done to its friends, and it is going to. Oh, yeah, that's a good one. It looks at you, bares its fangs and tries to take a bite at you, Gunther. All right, I rolled a two.

[Chris Dumaris]

It doesn't have any teeth. It's just soft.

[Doug Boone]

Bitty tongue.

[Tove]

Oh, no.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, I might be looking at the wrong stat box. Sorry, one second. Oh. Oh, I thought it was bite, and then the thing. Okay, sorry, I just misunderstood the way the attack works. It inhales Gunther bearing its its fangs at you and then lets out some really bad halitosis in your area. Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Ew.

[Gustavo Rola]

Make me a constitution saving throw.

[Blaine Gibson]

No, you could get, like, a prescribed mouthwash for that stuff.

[Micah]

Oh, man, I rolled a one.

[Gustavo Rola]

I think they come from where Natty comes from, and there's no dentist there.

[Doug Boone]

This is slander. This is slander.

[Micah]

I liked it better when you rolled it to Gus. I'm just gonna say it.

[Tove]

Go eat your candy corns. Well, you see, that's the power of editing there, Chris. You could. He could edit anything to come out of your mouth. I could say I hate Gus, but then, you know, I might say love later in the episode, and then it would sound completely different. Sound like this.

[Gustavo Rola]

I love c. Thanks, Blaine. I really appreciate it.

[Tove]

No, no, no, the edit. Darn you edit.

[Chris Dumaris]

I hope that joke makes any sense.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, it's gonna be good. All right, you take one point of damage, Gunther, from this attack from the. From the demon.

[Doug Boone]

That's not much.

[Micah]

Stinky. Stinky.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, but now you're also vulnerable to fire and necrotic damage.

[Doug Boone]

Damage? Oh, what was the damage type that he took?

[Gustavo Rola]

It's piercing.

[Chris Dumaris]

I feel like Fire and Necrotic would oppose each other. You know, like Pokemon types and.

[Gustavo Rola]

I'm sorry, it's not Necrotic. It's Just fire. That's my fault. I'm a mess over here. I got. I ate too many uncrustables this morning.

[Tove]

I'm so full of uncrustables right now, guys.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

That's sugar from that jelly.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, so you take a one point of piercing damage, Gunther, and you are now vulnerable to fire.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, coat yourself in, honey.

[Gustavo Rola]

It can't move away or it'll provoke an attack of opportunity. So that's all it is going to do. It is private parts turn. He looks around. He surveys the situation. See, Toll moved to the tree to the west and took out an enemy. Gunther took out an enemy and is threatening the other one. Doug and Natty have not gone yet.

[Chris Dumaris]

He's not even fighting. He's just grading us. He's like, yes, performance.

[Gustavo Rola]

He's gonna step over to you, Natty, and say, I'll cover you when you make your move. So from a metagame perspective, you have advantage on your next attack roll.

[Tove]

Wow.

[Doug Boone]

Okay. Thanks. Thanks. Private.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, of course. Private support. Privates.

[Tove]

We privates gotta stick together. Why is everyone laughing?

[Gustavo Rola]

Take your pick. Doug, you're up. Then an NPC and then Net.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Could you redescribe the fountain to me?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, of course.

[Doug Boone]

It was weird.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

He said it was like.

[Doug Boone]

Let me see if I can remember. You said it was hard. It was water, but hard.

[Chris Dumaris]

Translucent water.

[Doug Boone]

Translucent water, but like, hard, but not.

[Chris Dumaris]

Hard as a rock, but not ice.

[Doug Boone]

And there's a coin, which makes no sense. Yeah, hard water, not an ice.

[Chris Dumaris]

We were A, buying gusty, B, showing off that we listen.

[Gustavo Rola]

And I like it.

[Tove]

Is it?

[Doug Boone]

Oh, I know what it is. It's gelatin.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Well, it's hard, though. Like, I was trying to think of.

[Doug Boone]

How do you make water hard but not freeze? And I was like, oh, gelatin actually solidifies it.

[Tove]

Oh, my God, guys, is that Smucker's grape jelly?

[Gustavo Rola]

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[Tove]

It's not even water.

[Doug Boone]

Did they ever do.

[Gustavo Rola]

Is there.

[Doug Boone]

There's a. There's like a clear jelly, right?

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah.

[Chris Dumaris]

Probably doesn't have the red dye number. Whatever.

[Gustavo Rola]

So this fountain is like. It's in the center of this building. It has a sculpture of a silver coin the size of a dinner plate etched with wind lines. And it smells of fish and it has still water. And there's a plaque on it that you all read last time that reads Sacred font of the Wind Trader. I spent all that time having to reopen the last module. I already had it open. I expected this. And I just didn't realize it was in the next. The next tab over.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I don't know what any of this could mean or how it could help us, but I feel like we gotta. We gotta look at this. Maybe after the battle.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, so we got the three trees up at the north. Gunther is fighting two of these.

[Gustavo Rola]

There's only one. One left.

[Micah]

There's only one left.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

One left that you're fighting one you took down already and one told down one tilt. Okay, but are the gardeners also fighting us?

[Gustavo Rola]

It looks like, they're looking at you all aggressively. They just have not had an opportunity to do anything yet.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I'm debating whether I want to burn one of these trees. If it's a potential, like, entry point, do it. Could I cast Firebolt at the tree furthest away from Gunther just because I don't want to accidentally catch him on fire since he is vulnerable to fire damage, right?

[Micah]

Oh, yeah, that would be bad.

[Gustavo Rola]

So Gunther is by one tree to is by another. So you'd go. That leaves by process of. By process of elimination. By process of elimination, that would leave the tree on the easternmost portion to be the one you would target.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yes.

[Tove]

Would that be the Hogwash Hickory or the Drizzle dogwood?

[Gustavo Rola]

That is the Hogwash Hickory.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, I'm aiming at the Hogwash Hickory.

[Tove]

Fine choice.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

And I feel kind of bad because I know that they're trying to, like, preserve these trees, but if they're entry point for bad people, then I'm gonna.

[Blaine Gibson]

Try to hit it.

[Gustavo Rola]

Don't cross Doug. He'll firebolt you.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I think I'm gonna use my inspiration die for that one.

[Doug Boone]

Roll the 10.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Roll to 10.

[Tove]

Got a 20 on the way, girl.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, cool. 16.

[Tove]

Nice.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Does that hit?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, it does. We're just establishing in canon that Doug hates trees, so canonically just makes sense. Yeah, 16 does hit.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, well, I just want to say out loud, I don't hate tweeze. I just hate, you know, portals for demons.

[Tove]

Wow, that guy really hates trees.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

It does four damage, but it says that if. If I hit an object that's flammable, it ignites if it's not being worn or carried.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. Are trees flammable?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I think a little bit, maybe.

[Doug Boone]

We got a fire in this glass house.

[Gustavo Rola]

When Doug made his proclamation about trees, Natty, you noticed Private Parts started writing something down.

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, yeah. Make sure to note that. Okay. Doug respects nature.

[Chris Dumaris]

I hope we learn Private Parts can't actually read or write, and they're just.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

They're just drawing pictures.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

With a whoosh, that tree ignites, and flames begin licking at the branches.

[Chris Dumaris]

I always hated when people described flames as licking, because I just imagine little fires just going.

[Gustavo Rola]

I'm making licking noises, but I think the Discord Gate cut it out.

[Doug Boone]

You were just showing your tongue to us.

[Gustavo Rola]

And as the tree becomes engulfed in flames, three more little demons pop out from flying around with fire on their wings.

[Blaine Gibson]

This is like when you have, like, a. Like, a hornet's nest, and you spray it with something to, like, you know, kill the Nest, and then all of the hornets start, like, leaving it, so I kind of half expected that to happen.

[Micah]

So three of them?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, there are three more that popped out, and their wings are in flames.

[Tove]

But, like, azundarins that, like, they're, like, powered up now.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. I don't know. We're gonna find out next episode.

[Micah]

Does it look like they're enjoying being on fire?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah. Are they smiling?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, they're pretty cool with it. They're pretty hot with it.

[Tove]

They're pretty hot on it.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I think that'll be my turn.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, so Doug ignited that east tree. Making a note. All right, that is Doug's turn. It is one of the gardener's turns. Oh, this is going to be fun.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I know.

[Gustavo Rola]

I like playing with my guys.

[Doug Boone]

That's what we used to. Me and Micha would refer to when we were going to play with our action figures. We'd say, you want to play with guys?

[Micah]

Whenever I would play not with action figures, but just, you know, play with swords or whatever. We say either play pretend or play like we're them. Like, where it's like, if we're gonna pretend to be like, whatever, let's play like we're them.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, one of the gardeners. I'm gonna roll here. If it's evens, Gunther. Odds to even. One of the gardeners looks at you, Gunther, and points, and unintelligible arcane words spew out of its mouth. And it seems like it overwhelms. It's beginning to overwhelm your mind. Make me an intelligence save, Gunther.

[Micah]

All right, hold up.

[Doug Boone]

What's that sound like, Gus?

[Tove]

He's speaking in tongues. Oh, God.

[Micah]

Intelligence save. Is that what you said?

[Gustavo Rola]

Save? Yeah.

[Micah]

15.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh. For some reason, you get really angry that Doug ignited the tree, and you. You want to go over and hit him with your weapon, but then you shake it out of your head, and you decide not to. You're like. You don't know what came over you for a moment.

[Doug Boone]

Get out of my.

[Gustavo Rola]

It was just weird.

[Tove]

Bizarre power of friendship.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, and that is. That's it for that one's turn. So it is Natty's turn, then, after Natty is the remaining two gardeners, and we'll go from there.

[Doug Boone]

Howdy, y'all.

[Gustavo Rola]

Hey, Natty. And don't forget, private parts is assisting you, so you have advantage on any attack roll you make this round.

[Doug Boone]

I wish you had done that someone else, because I want to do something that wasn't attacked. But I'm going to take, you know, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. And I'm going to do Attack to use that, and I'll do what I wanted to do later.

[Gustavo Rola]

Just so you know, from a metagame perspective, the reason Private Parts chose you is, one, you hadn't gone yet. Two, you're the team leader. Three, Doug is the medic. So logistically, tactically, you were the best choice for Private Parts.

[Doug Boone]

That's fine. I'm going to go with. Yeah, that gardener. I don't like nasty talk, and I'm just going to hit them with a good old Eldritch blast. Pew, pew. All right, so I'm going to roll for that. That's another nat 20. Yeah. Two doing the same episode.

[Gustavo Rola]

This, by the way, I don't know if I described them. The one who. Who did that, who was doing the nasty talk, as Natty said, is a scrawny gray dwarf wearing a bodice that made. That's made of some kind of weird textured skin.

[Doug Boone]

All right, well, they're going to be a scrawnier dwarf because I'm about to blast off some more of them. So nat 20 hits.

[Tove]

Yeehaw.

[Chris Dumaris]

Nice.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yep, that definitely hits.

[Chris Dumaris]

Rolling.

[Doug Boone]

My D10, which is four plus three, is seven plus. Ah, dang it. I always forget to do this. I meant to do hex. Dungeon Master Gus, can I do my hex before I do my Eldritch Blast?

[Gustavo Rola]

I heard you do hex already. I don't know what you're talking about.

[Doug Boone]

That is correct. I cast hex on them. I hex you. That's what I say. And I place a curse on that creature. And they take an extra D6 of Necro product damage whenever I hit them with an attack. And they will take a disadvantage on. Is there any disadvantage that would help anybody? Okay, cool.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

No.

[Doug Boone]

Then they will take disadvantage on dexterity checks.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, writing that down.

[Chris Dumaris]

Disadvantage against the warhammer.

[Tove]

I don't know.

[Micah]

Disadvantage against Stab.

[Doug Boone]

So they take the 7 plus the D6, which is two points of necrotic damage. They get pushed back 10ft and take three more damage from my agonizing blast.

[Gustavo Rola]

That's a total of 12 points of.

[Doug Boone]

Damage plus the crit.

[Chris Dumaris]

Sometimes I get an agonizing blast when I eat fast food.

[Doug Boone]

Eldritch blast is a D10.

[Gustavo Rola]

Thank you. So 22 points of damage, then.

[Doug Boone]

Do you do the roll plus the. In the description of Eldritch blast, it is D10 plus 3.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. So then you rolled a D10 plus 3 and an additional max. So 10.

[Doug Boone]

The max is 13 max of the die unmodifier. Okay, and are they still standing?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. You hit them with that repulsor, which knocks them back 10ft, and they slam into one of the walls that's supporting the building. And the whole wall begins shaking, and bits of the roof and the ceiling begin falling down. So they need to, as well as Gunther and Tolve all, make dexterity saving throws.

[Doug Boone]

There's a tree on fire and the building's coming down. This is going to need to be a quick fight.

[Gustavo Rola]

I rolled a 15 for the dwarf.

[Tove]

Well, I have something called danger sins. Ooh la la. You have advantage on deck. Saving throws against effects that you can see while not blinded, deafened, or incapacitated. Eat my butt.

[Chris Dumaris]

That's a 17 and a 15.

[Micah]

1721.

[Gustavo Rola]

Ah. Okay, big pieces of timber begin falling down, and everyone only takes half damage because everyone took or succeeded on their. On their rolls.

[Tove]

Should have raged, stupid.

[Doug Boone]

They are still standing.

[Gustavo Rola]

Let me. I gotta add that up in a second. So that is 10 points of bludgeoning damage when everyone takes half, which is five. So five points of bludgeoning damage to the people. I said. And yes, the dwarf is very bloodied, not looking good. But they are still standing.

[Blaine Gibson]

Okay, they're a little bit stronger.

[Doug Boone]

Gigi, get him.

[Tove]

Gigi, I choose you.

[Gustavo Rola]

Did you roll to see if Diggy does it?

[Doug Boone]

Oh, dang it.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Every time.

[Doug Boone]

19. He does what mama wants. That's mama's boy right there.

[Gustavo Rola]

If you failed, I was gonna have him attack Gunther.

[Doug Boone]

That's my boy. That's my boy.

[Gustavo Rola]

Just like heat of the moment.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, that would be in character. Just. I didn't. I didn't specify who to get right. Okay. Giggy runs up and slashes him with his little bitty demon claws. And Gigi rolls a 22 on attack.

[Gustavo Rola]

That hits him.

[Doug Boone]

And that's a D4 plus three. Four plus three. So seven piercing damage and a DC10 constitution saving throw. Or they take poison damage that is a failure.

[Gustavo Rola]

So they are poisoned.

[Doug Boone]

They are poisoned. And they take two D4. I want a bigger D4 dice because rolling a D4 is the most unsatisfying dice to roll because it's just this tiny little pyramid.

[Tove]

It rarely rolls.

[Chris Dumaris]

It just goes.

[Doug Boone]

It just kind of falls on whatever, like, angle is facing the ground when it lands.

[Gustavo Rola]

You could roll a D8 and this divide by two.

[Doug Boone]

I guess I could. I have a D8.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, so one two is one eight.

[Doug Boone]

So divided by two is four. Oh, I guess if I'm rolling two D4. That's the two D4.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, that. That doesn't work though, because it's like a bell curve.

[Doug Boone]

Four plus. Wait, what's half of three then?

[Gustavo Rola]

So then that goes. That's two. So 1 and 2 is 1, 3 and 4 is 2, 6.

[Doug Boone]

Poison damage. And they are poisoned for the next minute.

[Chris Dumaris]

Gus was stoked. Like, whatever. He gets this little glint in his eyes whenever math is, you know. Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

Look at the distribution of roles that are possible with a 2D4 versus a 1D8 and you're more likely to end up with a middle number around 4.

[Blaine Gibson]

Speaking my language English.

[Doug Boone]

That's why I did it. Blaine, you gotta give Gus some math or else he. He sits there on his jelly energy and he can't. He gets jittery.

[Gustavo Rola]

I don't want to improv today. I want to do math. Mike has got some pretty cool looking diamond D4s. You may want to look into that. They look. They look almost like fangs to me. They're pretty cool.

[Doug Boone]

They are still standing.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, this. This dwarf is. Is looking way worse for wear. You would say barely standing.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, I'm done.

[Blaine Gibson]

They're still standing.

[Gustavo Rola]

Thank Dia. That's it for Natty. That one is dead. Okay, so the gardeners. The remaining two are the other two gardeners. This one is a female human. And what's she gonna do?

[Tove]

I think she's gonna run away.

[Gustavo Rola]

No, she's definitely not doing that. She has something special in store for you.

[Tove]

Oh, is it candy corn? No, thanks.

[Gustavo Rola]

She pulls out.

[Doug Boone]

I knew. I knew.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Wait.

[Doug Boone]

I knew that as soon as I brought up candy corn, someone was not going to be able to let it go because people are way too opinionated on candy corn. And I know it triggers people.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

The sentence that people are way too opinionated.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Fair.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

It's like that Bo Burnham sketch. Does everyone need to have opinion on everything all the time?

[Doug Boone]

I did a stream once where I did a ranking, a tier list of candies, and I did that specifically to trigger as many people as possible.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Candy corn does suck though.

[Doug Boone]

You know what's great about food? It's subjective.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

No, I'm just kidding.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, so this female human looks at you Toll. And from her bag, she pulls out a bloodstone pickaxe that's wafting with smoke. She looks like she's targeting you before you do that.

[Tove]

Is that PI A la Mode's pickaxe? Did you steal that?

[Gustavo Rola]

Sounds familiar. Huh?

[Tove]

Oh, yeah, that's. That's. That's theft.

[Gustavo Rola]

That's property.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Unless this is PI A la mode.

[Tove]

No, she's not got the bubblegum hair, does she?

[Gustavo Rola]

He's underground. This also is a human, and I believe you all know that PI a la modor. You told PI a la mode is an elf.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

My bad. Elf. I think specifically, yes, you are correct. Take an inspiration die if you don't have one.

[Doug Boone]

You keep giving me inspiration die. And I already got it.

[Gustavo Rola]

You gotta use them then.

[Tove]

Must be hard. Must be. Must be difficult. What a tough life you must live.

[Doug Boone]

Maybe spend less time making fun of me about my candy choices. And make some good jokes.

[Tove]

Listen, I make the greatest jokes. My jokes are the best.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Listen, if you have the selection of every candy in the world and you.

[Tove]

Pick candy corn, not leaving the subject.

[Doug Boone]

Not. My favorite candy corn is Natty's.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

True.

[Doug Boone]

My favorite candy is dark chocolate. Actually, no, it's Reese's Pieces.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, good answer. Good answer.

[Tove]

ET Yum.

[Gustavo Rola]

So this. This gardener pulls out the pickaxe. She points the pickaxe in your direction, Toll. And the pickaxe head transforms into a wind dragon wyrmling head. And it rolls, roars, and exhales a big gust of breath at you. And it hits both you and Gunther.

[Doug Boone]

That got worse.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. Both of you make strength saving throws dirty.

[Tove]

20.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I wonder if the wind dragon has anything to do with the sculpture of the silver coin with the wind lines on it.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, I'm in agreement.

[Micah]

16.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

There's some wind themes.

[Gustavo Rola]

You both make it. All right, so you're gonna take take half damage then. So you get buffeted with some bludgeoning damage. Super fade. But you're taking half of this. You take two points of bludgeoning damage, and you're pushed five feet back as well. And in addition, unprotected flames are extinguished. But they were not by the tree that you had caught fire, Doug. So your tree is still on fire.

[Micah]

What about all the flying bugs?

[Gustavo Rola]

They came out of the one that was on fire, so they're not in the area. Okay. But since it pushes you five feet, it also kind of pushes the walls, and the walls start shaking again, and little bits of lumber begin falling down again all around you. So Gunther and Tolve once again make dexterity saving throws.

[Tove]

Oh, my goodness.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

You guys are in the bad place.

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Micah]

7.

[Tove]

He has advantage on dexterity saving throws.

[Micah]

Finally rolled poorly.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. Yay.

[Tove]

17.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right. 12. You successfully save Gunther. You do not. So that is nine points of bludgeoning damage. So if you take half, you take four.

[Tove]

Because I really should have. Should have raged. I Feel so stupid right now.

[Gustavo Rola]

And additionally, because you were hit by some falling debris, Gunther, you're knocked prone.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, no.

[Tove]

Oh, no.

[Gustavo Rola]

Just a dissatisfied cry.

[Tove]

Don't get so emotional.

[Gustavo Rola]

The female human sees Gunther knock to the ground, and a sneer spreads across her face.

[Tove]

Do not smile at me. You wipe that sneer off your face.

[Gustavo Rola]

As my friend, as you're on the ground.

[Blaine Gibson]

Do not.

[Gustavo Rola]

You know. As the sneer spreads across her face, she looks at the other gardener, who has not done anything yet, and says.

[Chris Dumaris]

Grego, get him now.

[Gustavo Rola]

And the other gardener, which is some kind of dwarf, charges over it. Seems like he's going to take advantage of the fact that Gunther is on the ground.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Does he pass by any of us while he's going in that direction?

[Gustavo Rola]

No, better if he did because they were already kind of by the trees. Tove was by the other one. Natty is over there. Doug, is there. No, there's a. There's a way for them to get by without provoking. Yeah. Okay, everyone make a perception check for me. Okay?

[Doug Boone]

12.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

It was on a 15 and it rolled over to a 5. So I have a 10.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. 8.

[Tove]

7.

[Chris Dumaris]

I feel like none of us passed, so I'm gonna go ahead and use my inspiration die.

[Tove]

See if Grego's gonna let go of my Eggo.

[Gustavo Rola]

Nice.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Got him.

[Chris Dumaris]

13.

[Gustavo Rola]

Grego seems to disappear from sight. You lose track of him for a moment, and then the next thing you know, he's on top of Gunther taking an attack.

[Chris Dumaris]

So is that a misty step kind of thing?

[Gustavo Rola]

Metagame, perspective, invisibility.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, but then we see him again when he pops up by Gunther.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. As he's striking Gunther with a war pick. And he has advantage. This is plus four to hit. That is a 22 that will hit. He brings his war pick down on Gunther. Doing. I rolled a one on damage. Oh, three points of piercing damage.

[Micah]

Yes.

[Doug Boone]

I'm starting to feel bad for Gus.

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Chris Dumaris]

Can I tell you this story? One time I went to a field day, and they had that thing where you could throw the horseshoes. You know, you have to, like, set the stake in the ground right in order for the horseshoes. So I was a kid, and I grabbed the stake and I raised it into the air to. To get some pressure to push it into the ground. When I did it, I slammed it into my forehead.

[Tove]

Oh.

[Chris Dumaris]

I almost knocked myself out. So anyways, that's. That's what I imagine Grego just did.

[Micah]

I mean, I'm still taken 20 points of damage, so you've done a good Job, Gus.

[Chris Dumaris]

Hey, don't give up, man. You're. You're going to get us someday.

[Gustavo Rola]

Well, speaking of which, that's it for that gardener's turn. But now it is the turn of the three demons that emerge that are now on fire.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

They all die because they're on fire, have been on fire for the last few seconds, and they all lose happily ever after.

[Gustavo Rola]

B in Make a wisdom check, Doug. Oh.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, okay.

[Tove]

You are the wisest of us all, dog. You can do it.

[Blaine Gibson]

Net 20 for 23.

[Tove]

Oh, my God. The prophecy has come true.

[Gustavo Rola]

You think that fire may not be such a bad thing for these creatures?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

No, I know I didn't have to do a wisdom check for that, but.

[Gustavo Rola]

I'm giving you official, official confirmation.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I just wanted to destroy the tree in hopes that nothing else would be able to come out of it, but clearly backfired.

[Tove]

The biz we call that insult to injury front.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Fired, fired, fired, fired.

[Micah]

It just fired.

[Gustavo Rola]

Two of them close on toll. Toll. Make me a. Let's call it a dexterity check to try to avoid catching fire from them.

[Tove]

Good thing I'm super dexterous. Swish, swish, swish. That's me moving around. Hello, 21.

[Gustavo Rola]

Wow.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I just imagine you're, like, shimmying your.

[Tove]

Hips.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Like Johnny Bravo make.

[Gustavo Rola]

I forgot. I should have said make two dex checks because there's two of them. So make one more.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I thought there's three of them.

[Tove]

It's okay because I'm super dexterous.

[Gustavo Rola]

Two of them went to 12.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, swish.

[Tove]

Swiss swish. Still moving my feet around. Still shadow boxing. 17. Okay, I'm too fast. You can't see me. John Cena.

[Gustavo Rola]

So, yeah, you managed to successfully avoid catching fire, but now they focus their attention on you. Make me two constitution saving throws as they try to take a bite at you.

[Tove]

My gosh, it's 22.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, 11. Both of those save. The number you're looking for is 11. So if you looked out, you managed to only take one point of piercing damage.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, nice.

[Tove]

Oh, no. That really hurt. I'm just kidding. It did not hurt so bad. It actually, in fact, did not really.

[Gustavo Rola]

The other one heads over to Gunther. Gunther, make me a. Let's do the same thing as 12. You make only one dexterity check, but make this one at disadvantage because you're prone. Dex.

[Micah]

Check.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, it probably should have been a saving throw, but I said check. And since I made Blaine do a check, I'm gonna make you do a check as well.

[Micah]

All right, that's a 22 and a 15.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, you're fine. All right. This. This creature, you know, comes over flies, and it's like trying to fly around you and intentionally flap its wings on you and get you to catch fire. But you know, Gunther, you're proactively stop dropping and rolling. So the fire just doesn't. Doesn't take.

[Doug Boone]

It's just rolling. There's no stop and dropping.

[Gustavo Rola]

That's why he's already stopped and dropped. So it's just a roll at this point. Yeah, Good call. And so he tries to take a bite at you. Make me a constitution saving throw. Gunther a. Oh, okay. So you take one point of piercing damage, and you're still vulnerable to fire.

[Micah]

Cool.

[Gustavo Rola]

It's gonna get you. All right, that's all of them. Gunther, it's your turn.

[Micah]

Okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

And then after Gunther's tolve the non fire demon and then private parts, there's.

[Doug Boone]

A lot of combatants.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, yeah, there are.

[Micah]

So there's the one that's on fire that just attacked me is the only one that's up near me, right?

[Gustavo Rola]

Correct.

[Chris Dumaris]

Okay.

[Micah]

Can I get up?

[Gustavo Rola]

Getting up. What takes half your movement?

[Micah]

Yeah. And then I want to use Second Wind.

[Gustavo Rola]

That's the bonus show available exclusively to Patreon and Beacon. Check out more [e-mail] or Beacon TV.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah, we're gonna be talking about this episodes and all of our weird decisions.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Tove]

Shout out. Gunther. Great job.

[Micah]

So I do a 1D 10 plus 3 to heal.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. Yes.

[Micah]

That was a 10. So that's a 13 healing.

[Chris Dumaris]

Nice.

[Gustavo Rola]

Gunther, you feel. You feel better about this? You were feeling kind of down, but, you know, you got up, you dusted yourself off. These are. Things are looking up.

[Micah]

And then I'm gonna try and attack that one that's closest to me. That's like right there up on me.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, go ahead.

[Micah]

15 to hit.

[Gustavo Rola]

That's good. That. That's successful.

[Micah]

Okay. All right. That is 10 piercing damage.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Nice.

[Gustavo Rola]

You successfully connect. And just like before, you manage to slice this one in half. And it falls to the ground smoldering.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Nice.

[Micah]

So how far away is that fountain?

[Gustavo Rola]

Pretty close. Oh, you got pushed back by the wind, so you're a little further away than I thought. Let's say 15ft.

[Micah]

So it's like a jello. It's not actually wet wet.

[Tove]

I mean, is Jell O wet?

[Gustavo Rola]

It's hard, but it's not ice.

[Micah]

Okay, well, I want to go ahead and I guess kind of move back closer to the team, if I can.

[Gustavo Rola]

Do so without provoking yeah, you've got enough distance. You should be able to move back. Who specifically? Because everyone's kind of, like, spaced out a little bit. Like you're going back to where. Like where Doug and Natty are.

[Blaine Gibson]

Come to me, Gunto.

[Micah]

Yeah, move back towards them in case we want to make a tactical retreat or something to get out of the collapsing building.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. You regroup with your friends and that's it. Okay, Great. That is Gunther Toll of Europe, North.

[Tove]

America, South America, Africa, Australia. We're talking about continents here. No, you said Europe. Moving right along.

[Gustavo Rola]

Do you have an inspiration dice? If so, I'm taking it away.

[Tove]

Yeah, I don't, but I'll take one if you have it. I've been using mine like a good boy.

[Doug Boone]

Haven't had to use mine. I rolled nat 20, I think.

[Blaine Gibson]

Usually give everyone else in the potty inspiration diet except Tove, just to stick to them.

[Ryan Reynolds]

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[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, it's such a clutch off season pickup, Dave. I was worried we'd bring back the same team. I meant Those blackout motorized shades. Lines.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blind. Hard to install. No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some for my mom. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install hall of Fame son. They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Blinds.com is the goat.

[Ryan Reynolds]

Go to blinds.com for 40% off site wide. Blinds.com rules and restrictions may apply.

[Chris Dumaris]

I'm just gonna start taking down the beams of the greenhouse. It all comes down on all of us.

[Doug Boone]

He's just. Just swinging in a circle.

[Chris Dumaris]

Gotta hide the evidence of anybody hearing that.

[Doug Boone]

Zangief just spinning around.

[Chris Dumaris]

All right, so I'm face to face with two of the flying guys, right?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yes, they are the flying ones that are on fire.

[Tove]

You guys are testing me, but I'm not going to rage, all right? I'm gonna try to hold it back. Should I rage?

[Doug Boone]

Why aren't you raging? That's why I want to save the points.

[Micah]

Generally, as a barbarian, you want to rage at the beginning of combat.

[Chris Dumaris]

I thought that this was, like, a. Whatever combat situation. I didn't think it was gonna be, like, a whole thing, you know? And then now it's just, like, up some cost where it's like 80.

[Doug Boone]

Hey, Blaine.

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah, you.

[Doug Boone]

Do you.

[Tove]

I rage.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Says the person who hasn't played a barbarian.

[Doug Boone]

I. I was just. I'm just supporting my friend Blaine. He can play however he wants to play.

[Tove]

Well, I rage.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Tove]

Got my goat. You. I'm mad now.

[Chris Dumaris]

And then I'm gonna use my warhammer to attack whichever one looks stronger. Of the two guys that are flying.

[Gustavo Rola]

Around me, they look the same. The one that's flying lower.

[Tove]

No, I get the one with the high ground.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, Anakin. No, you're smart.

[Chris Dumaris]

Okay?

[Gustavo Rola]

They stop attacking you for a second and bust out into an arm wrestling contest to determine which of them is stronger. And the one on the high ground wins.

[Tove]

Oh, you. Oh, yo, congratulations. Eat hammer.

[Chris Dumaris]

I rolled a 12. But because I'm raging, then I get advantage or something.

[Gustavo Rola]

Don't worry if. If you did reckless attack, you could. But don't worry, that hits.

[Tove]

Okay.

[Chris Dumaris]

And then I do bludgeoning.

[Tove]

Good lord. That's a five.

[Chris Dumaris]

But I get two points of melee damage, so that's seven.

[Doug Boone]

All right.

[Micah]

Don't you get, like, a rage? Didn't you have, like, electrical thing or something?

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah, but that's a bonus action. I think initiating my rage is a bonus.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, it is. Chris. Wise about barbarians. Also wise about trying to get multiple bonus actions in a turn.

[Tove]

Good thing I'm so wise.

[Doug Boone]

I don't know if that's the right word, Gus.

[Gustavo Rola]

Experienced. Yeah, you. You get so angry tolve. And you. You swat at the higher flying demon that's on fire, smashing it with your warhammer, crushing it and extinguishing the fire that was on its wings. And it's on the ground unmoving.

[Blaine Gibson]

Nice.

[Chris Dumaris]

I'll understand if it's too much, but can I just yell at the other one to see if I can intimidate it?

[Doug Boone]

Yelling's a free action. You can do that.

[Chris Dumaris]

Okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

The nerd clusters spray out covering your face. Toll.

[Micah]

I love the idea of when you kill a. A bad guy, it just explodes with candy.

[Gustavo Rola]

I love it. It's like a pinata. Whoever said that? I love it. It's a great analogy.

[Doug Boone]

It's like I actually just watched the Suicide Squad, and there's that moment where Harley goes on her rampage at one point halfway through the fight, it's just flowers are flying out of everybody.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

So good. It's a good Harley Quinn.

[Doug Boone]

That's a very good Harley Quinn sequence.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. You were gonna yell. You said toll.

[Tove]

I mean. Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

What you yelling?

[Tove]

Oh, you know, angry things. Sounds something like this. Ah.

[Doug Boone]

How's that. How's that go ever?

[Chris Dumaris]

I guess I could roll a D20 to determine the level of yell.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Chris Dumaris]

Make an intimidation check based on the intimidation check. That's not bad. It's a 19.

[Tove]

That's a good. That's a good.

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah, I stand by that.

[Gustavo Rola]

Micah says you'd be like you.

[Tove]

You too.

[Gustavo Rola]

And who are you trying to intimidate, specifically?

[Chris Dumaris]

The one that had the low ground. No, the high. The one.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yes. The remaining.

[Chris Dumaris]

The low ground. The remainder.

[Gustavo Rola]

Gotcha. Is that it for you, Tolf?

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah. I was gonna see if I can cast one of those cool spells that they did where they were talking in tongues earlier, but, you know, it's. I've gone to for too long, you know.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Just stumble into magic words.

[Tove]

Dominos, Marcos, Little Caesar's Papa Johns.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, it is going to be private parts turn here. The battlefield has changed a bit since his last turn. He surveys it, takes a couple of notes, and, Gunther, you've returned to the group over here. He says, whatever you're gonna do, Gunther, I have your back. So for your next attack roll, you.

[Micah]

Have advantage, and I have your everything.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Was that guidance or something?

[Gustavo Rola]

It's like a help. It's like a help action.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Which is an action we all can take.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, that's it for private parts. So that leaves Doug. And then after Doug is the nasty speaking dwarf.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

How close am I to that human?

[Gustavo Rola]

The human? Yeah. She had the pickaxe. She's, let's say, 10ft away.

[Doug Boone]

What was her name? Gekko? Gestapo?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

No, there was. Grego was a dwarf that she commanded to do something or tried to do something.

[Gustavo Rola]

I don't think I said what her name was.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, there's three of them. I forgot.

[Gustavo Rola]

Right.

[Blaine Gibson]

I want this.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I want to take this pickaxe from her.

[Blaine Gibson]

You know what, guys? I think it's time to call in a little bit of help. You.

[Tove]

Oh. Oh.

[Doug Boone]

Do you have a son, too?

[Blaine Gibson]

I do, actually. Oh, my God. I've been working on this for a while, but I'm gonna call him in. I'm gonna call him my steel defender.

[Doug Boone]

Whoa.

[Gustavo Rola]

That sounds cool.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Doug, I guess, calls on his steel defender, who appears to be a small, little metal mushroom.

[Gustavo Rola]

What?

[Blaine Gibson]

Guys, I would like you to meet gambot. Whoa.

[Doug Boone]

Where does he come out of?

[Blaine Gibson]

That's a great question. Where does he come out of?

[Doug Boone]

Like your purse? You have, like, a satchel?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. Like, you pull him out of your pack, I guess.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I pull him out of my pack.

[Gustavo Rola]

So you reach into your pack, rummage around, and you pull out a gambot.

[Doug Boone]

A little robotic mushroom.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I'm imagining it's kind of like a. Like a metal disc that I put on the floor and it like.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, okay, cool.

[Doug Boone]

Like those little Mega man enemies. Yes, the little construction helmet ones.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

And bear with me as I'm still learning about this thing. But basically he joins an initiative, I think, right after me.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. I'm putting him on the list.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I'm not sure how it works. If I cast him, like, on my turn, if then he goes right after me, or if it's like the whole round has to pass.

[Doug Boone]

That's usually how it goes. And he goes after you.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

As the resident expert of familiars and companions.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Thank you. Yeah, that's. I actually.

[Doug Boone]

I don't know barbarians, but I do know having a little buddy fight with you.

[Chris Dumaris]

John's got a whole menagerie of little friends, little guys.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

And then I think that's my action. I think just like, bringing him in is the action, unfortunately. So he's just gonna stand, I think, in between me and the human woman.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Blaine Gibson]

And I say, hey, you think you could take us? Well, I bet that pickaxe that you can't.

[Micah]

I would take that wager.

[Doug Boone]

I liked Barbara's little, like, glance to the right and left to, like, see if this was working.

[Gustavo Rola]

So, yeah, I'm verifying. It does take its turn immediately after yours. It's can move. Use its reactions.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Oh, I can. I can use a bonus action to command it as well.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

What's he do?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

So I want to command it to just take a strike at this woman.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

And I believe it is my spell attack modifier to hit.

[Gustavo Rola]

So I see here. I'm trying to read up on it as well with you. I haven't looked at it before, Barbara, it looks like your steel defender can do a force empowered rend, which is a melee weapon, attack with a plus six to hit.

[Blaine Gibson]

Wow.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

Does he have arms or you just headbutt?

[Blaine Gibson]

Oh, he just headbutts. He doesn't have any arms.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

This is real simpleton.

[Blaine Gibson]

He got fast little legs.

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

His speed is 40. So, like, you put him down, he deploys, you say attack, and you point and he like, lowers his. His mushroom head and charges in.

[Doug Boone]

Does he make a sound?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. What sound does he make as he's charging?

[Micah]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

Does it talk?

[Tove]

He's thirsty.

[Blaine Gibson]

No, he can't talk.

[Micah]

But you talk for it.

[Blaine Gibson]

I talk for him. Yeah. Hello, it's me, Gambot. I am ready to attack you.

[Doug Boone]

That's just Doug saying that and, like, giving a. Talking for his.

[Gustavo Rola]

I like that he's got ventriloquism, but.

[Doug Boone]

Your lips still roll a D. Roll a D20. Just add six.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, okay.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Okay, cool.

[Doug Boone]

I can see you. I can see you trying to figure out what to roll.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

It's a thank you, John. You know me so well. Yeah. That'll be a 20 then. To hit.

[Gustavo Rola]

That hits. Yeah. So it puts its head down and impacts with the female holding the pickaxe.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

And then it is one D8 plus two force damage. So I'm going to roll that D8. That's an eight plus two. So 10 points of force damage.

[Gustavo Rola]

Wow. Yeah, she, like, she wasn't looking and paying attention, so Gambot sneaks up on her and hits her right in the shin. Ow.

[Tove]

Ow.

[Blaine Gibson]

Yeah, you get him, Gambot?

[Chris Dumaris]

I almost imagine it's like a spring deployed head, you know, like it runs up and just goes, you know, like.

[Gustavo Rola]

A battering ram or something.

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah, yeah, like something you'd see on Robot Wars.

[Blaine Gibson]

He's got it all. Yeah, he's really equipped.

[Tove]

He's got it all.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right. Is there anything else you can do, Doug?

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Nope, that's it.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, that's it for Doug.

[Doug Boone]

Can't wait to make a Gambot plush using Itsu by Nintendo.

[Gustavo Rola]

No, this one has a spring action head.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Totally different, and it's silver.

[Tove]

Good job, little friend. Where'd it go? So proud of him.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, this gardener is in bad shape.

[Doug Boone]

Good.

[Gustavo Rola]

Y'all are watching it. And Giggy attacked, right? Giggy's right next to.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, this one.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. It, like, looks warily at Giggy and then you see it. It's like, really mind boggling. This gardener begins, like, shrinking.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, you're not gonna want to do that around Gigi. He eats small things.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, I didn't even think about that. We'll deal with that when we get there.

[Doug Boone]

I haven't fed him today.

[Gustavo Rola]

It begins shrinking and it lashes out at Giggy, trying to make an attack with a dagger. Let's see if it hits Giggy.

[Tove]

Better not stab my nephew.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, I rolled a two. I think that's gonna be a miss.

[Doug Boone]

That's gonna miss who?

[Gustavo Rola]

I thought yeah, even with my modifier. Yeah, that's no good. Yeah, I know. Micah just wrote what's going on? I mean, I don't know, Micah. My rolls are terrible. It's one of those days. I don't know.

[Doug Boone]

I hacked Gus's D and D Beyond.

[Gustavo Rola]

I thought for sure I was gonna get a TPK this episode. I was like, oh, I've got the deck stacked against me. I've got so many guys on my side, and the rolls are just awful.

[Blaine Gibson]

Not today.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right, so it's tiny now. That one's dead. Natty, you're up. After Natty, it's the two gardeners.

[Doug Boone]

Gigi is gonna go first, if that's okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, that's fine.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah. And I wish Gigi had. Oh, man. If he's in a beast form, he could take a bite, but he can't because I want him to bite this little person as much as possible. But Biggie is going to claw them is what Giggy's gonna do, okay? Because Gigi does not like being stabbed.

[Gustavo Rola]

Technically, Gigi wasn't stabbed. I missed.

[Doug Boone]

Giggy doesn't like attempted stabbings.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Tove]

Tim did.

[Micah]

Murder.

[Doug Boone]

14 plus 4 to hit. So it's 18 to hit. That connects 2D4, that is 4 plus 4 plus 3. That is 11 piercing damage. Oh, they're also poisoned. Do they? The poison have to happen something during their last turn?

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, the poison creature just has disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks. And I missed anyway, so that's fine.

[Doug Boone]

Okay, cool.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

10 constitution saving throw. Or they take more poison damage.

[Gustavo Rola]

It doesn't matter. The slashing from Giggy's claws rip the tiny gardener to bits, and it falls to the ground unmoving.

[Doug Boone]

Good.

[Tove]

Murder, Gigi.

[Doug Boone]

Look. Gummy nerds.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

I'm gonna eat gummy nerds after this.

[Gustavo Rola]

Does Giggy begin eating?

[Doug Boone]

Gigi takes a starts, kind of licking up a little bit of it. Yeah.

[Blaine Gibson]

All right, I need to know what Giggy thinks of Gambot at. At some point.

[Doug Boone]

Hey, Doug, you brought a friend for Gigi? Gigi needs playmates.

[Blaine Gibson]

Please don't be delicate.

[Doug Boone]

You know what, Doug? I'll tell him. That's the best I can say. So since this combatant is down, I can use my bonus action to move Hex over to someone else.

[Gustavo Rola]

Sure. Yeah.

[Doug Boone]

I'll move it to the one holding the pickaxe.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay. The female gardener.

[Doug Boone]

The female human.

[Gustavo Rola]

And so she has disadvantage on dex checks.

[Doug Boone]

Disadvantage on dex checks. And will take extra damage when I use my eldritch blast on her.

[Gustavo Rola]

All Right.

[Doug Boone]

Which I roll a.

[Chris Dumaris]

That rolled off my thing.

[Doug Boone]

Ah, it's not gonna happen as an eight to hit.

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah. That's a miss.

[Doug Boone]

Okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

Did you say you had an advantage on this roll?

[Doug Boone]

No.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay.

[Doug Boone]

That was last time when Private Parts was helping me, but now Private Parts is helping the frog.

[Tove]

Do you have advantage on this roll?

[Gustavo Rola]

No, no, no.

[Tove]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Doug Boone]

Hey, I have inspiration that I keep not using, so I'm gonna go and use it. Why not? All right, that's a 16 to hit.

[Tove]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, yeah, that hits nice.

[Doug Boone]

Much better. Gonna roll a D10. Oh. I was like, why does it say 70? I rolled a D100, but that's 7 plus 3. So that's 10 force damage plus the necrotic, which is a D6. D6 is. So I rolled once. That's only one necrotic damage. And then they get blasted 10ft back and take three more damage from the Eldritch Blast.

[Gustavo Rola]

14 points total and move back 10ft.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah.

[Gustavo Rola]

She slams into a wall, which causes more lumber to fall. But it's not close to any of you guys. It's just gonna affect her. Yeah, yeah.

[Doug Boone]

That's what I was totally planning.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

And then she dropped the pickaxe.

[Gustavo Rola]

No, she's still holding onto the pickaxe.

[Blaine Gibson]

Dang it.

[Gustavo Rola]

She needs to make a dexterity saving throw. Oh, she makes it. She rolled 15, so she's only gonna take half damage. She takes four points of bludgeoning damage from falling lumber, she dies. No.

[Tove]

Oh, okay.

[Gustavo Rola]

She looks up, anger in her eyes.

[Doug Boone]

The tree that Doug caught on fire. And then more fiends came out. I don't know if I want to ask this, but is Gigi near a different tree?

[Gustavo Rola]

Giggy's not necessarily close to it. Let's say Gigi's within 10ft away of the next one over.

[Doug Boone]

Can Gigi run in and jump into one of those trees?

[Gustavo Rola]

Yeah, yeah, sure. Why not?

[Chris Dumaris]

Okay, Little explorer.

[Doug Boone]

Yeah, Gigi's gonna do that.

[Gustavo Rola]

All right. Yeah. We'll say the one on the far west, which I believe Gunther initially approached.

[Doug Boone]

Okay. Yeah. And that is my turn.

[Gustavo Rola]

Okay, it's her turn. The woman with the pickaxe who you have shoved over into the wall.

[Doug Boone]

I wink at her.

[Gustavo Rola]

Oh, she doesn't like that. She looks at you and says, if I'm going down, you are.

[Doug Boone]

Oh, you can try.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Ominous.

[Gustavo Rola]

She turns around and strikes the wall behind her, and the whole building begins collapsing all around you. Big pieces of lumber and the wall fall down, begin knocking holes in the ground beneath you. And you and the whole ground begins to shake and eventually collapse. You all fall into a dark cavern. Below you see four obelisks made of petrified wood glowing with fiendish runes. And you hear a boisterous yet posh voice say, I filled this forest to.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

Its knees, and so shall you.

[Gustavo Rola]

All shall tremble before the Baron. Find out who the Baron is and what that means on the next episode of Tales and the Stinky Dragon.

[Barbara Dunkleman]

A Baron?

[Doug Boone]

That's so annoying. When you like you fight a boss and you think you got them and then they do that whole ground like crumble thing and you fall down. You're like, oh, phase two.

[Chris Dumaris]

Yeah.

[Micah]

Hey, do we know how this Baron is? Is it B A R O N or B? What's, what's the other Baron like?

[Gustavo Rola]

Baron Waste no one tell him. No one tell him.

[Doug Boone]

He needs to learn.

[Tove]

Is he red?

[Chris Dumaris]

Does he have pizza?

[Tove]

Do I smell fresh oregano? It's red Baron pizza.

[Gustavo Rola]

Find out which Baron it is in the next episode of Tales of the Stinky Dragon.

[Tove]

I'm very hungry right now.

[Gustavo Rola]

B A R R E N New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad free? Become a patron@stinky dragonpod.com or become a member of Beacon at Beacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and a member only Discord Server for their respective platform. Become a patron, you gain access to even more exclusive bonus content, Stinky Drawing Community and Discord Events and you get your name shouted out just like Transient Day. Rob Mastin. A ghost. Haha a ghost. Acacia Lenmak and Sabrina Cragg. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes access to our Patron Only Discord Server, bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen, and much more. Head over to stinkydragonpod.com to support us. Can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them this episode. Like GregOliver, named after Oliver Huna Muzik named after music nerd07 voiced by Lauren Lance Aurenlark Kiyodai named after Kyodai. Haha. Get it? The baron named after Shieldmaiden voiced by Hannah McCarthy at hi hellohanna private parts voiced by Ben Ernst Alcyonben this week's hour question was submitted by redpanda13:16 this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I just realized I made a mistake. I'm about to rectify here. Natty, you gave this dwarf disadvantage on deck. Oh, Dex checks. Not Dex saves. So I thought okay, I thought maybe I had to. I had to roll that deck save again. But no, it's check. Okay gotcha. I almost Blaine and Christ it there.

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[Tove]

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[Gustavo Rola]

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[Blaine Gibson]

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[Private Parts]

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