C03 - Ep. 11 - Mission Through Middrus - As Good as Mines

Summary

Tales from the Stinky Dragon – Episode 11: "Mission Through Middrus - As Good as Mines"

Host: Stinky Dragon
Release Date: February 19, 2025

Overview: In Episode 11 of Tales from the Stinky Dragon, titled "Mission Through Middrus - As Good as Mines," listeners embark on another comedic and adventurous journey with the four friends navigating the fantastical world of Dungeons & Dragons. Hosted by Gustavo, the ever-patient Dungeon Master (DM), the episode combines immersive storytelling, engaging character interactions, and humorous dialogues, all set against the backdrop of exotic lands and peculiar creatures.

---

1. Setting the Stage: The Future of Stinky Dragon

Timestamp: [03:00]

The episode opens in a futuristic setting, marking the first full calendar year of Stinky Dragon as a company. The characters – Doug, Natty, Tolv, Gunther, and Chris – humorously discuss the company’s progress and their enthusiasm about running it. Gustavo, as the DM, introduces the players to a role-playing warm-up exercise, asking each character to share their most recent or frequent nightmare.

---

2. Sharing Nightmares: Character Insights

Timestamp: [03:30 – 08:05]

Each player takes turns revealing their character's nightmares, providing deeper insights into their personalities and backgrounds:

• Doug (John Risinger, Drow Warlock): Shares a recurring nightmare about his wedding day, where despite the joyous occasion, everyone around him appears sad and distraught. He awakens with a lingering sense of dread, "I just wake up and I don't know what's going on" ([05:31]).

• Chris (Croak Folk Fighter): Describes a terrifying nightmare where his tongue is forcibly held by a stick, rendering him helpless as he watches his family perish. The embarrassment intensifies when he finds himself naked in front of a crowd ([12:14]).

• Gunther (Bugbear Battlesmith Artificer): Recounts a haunting vision of being the last standing survivor on a battlefield, unarmed and vulnerable, facing a formidable magistrate figure ([09:17]).

• Tolv (Male Orca Barbarian): Mentions nightmares involving skeletal figures surrounding him, pulling at his clothing and impeding his movement, reflecting feelings of entrapment and anxiety ([14:11]).

Notable Quote: Doug reflects on his nightmare, saying, "Everyone just stares at me and this kind of growing feeling of dread grows in me" ([05:19]).

---

3. The Adventure Begins: Entering Middrus Mine

Timestamp: [16:48 – 34:37]

The adventurers find themselves at a critical juncture within the Middrus Mine, facing challenges that test their camaraderie and strategic thinking. Key developments include:

• Encounter with the Baron: Previously, the group battled a ferocious Baron with infernal foes and deceptive foot soldiers but ultimately failed to defeat him, resulting in the Baron escaping with a captive, Private Parts Cobble ([01:55]).

• Discovery of a Locked Door: The party uncovers a mural depicting a halfling sailor drowning and reaching for a chalice overflowing with water. This leads them to investigate further, finding that the mural conceals a portal to another realm ([38:54]).

• Meeting the Wind Trader: Upon entering the portal, they encounter a pale blue-skinned halfling with silver coins for eyes, known as the Wind Trader. This demi-god offers them safe passage in exchange for silver, establishing a pivotal plot point for their quest ([62:57]).

Notable Quotes:

• Gustavo (DM) introduces the scene: "We’re in the future... The first full calendar year" ([03:10]).
• Tolv humorously reacts to the Wind Trader’s offer: "I'm going to be the sacrifice. That's cool with me" ([53:16]).

---

4. Negotiations and Bartering: Securing Safe Passage

Timestamp: [62:57 – 75:37]

The players engage in negotiations with the Wind Trader to secure safe passage through the stormy chamber:

• Bartering for Wind: The Wind Trader demands silver in exchange for guiding them to their target, the Baron. After a series of humorous haggling and suggestions, the group agrees to offer 600 silver pieces ([73:04]).

• Successful Transaction: Upon handing over the gold (which magically converts to silver), the winds subside, granting them safe passage and assistance in locating the Baron ([76:22]).

Notable Quote: Tolv confidently offers the silver: "500 silver pieces... 600 silver pieces? I think we should take this" ([75:02]).

---

5. Uncovering Hidden Secrets: Exploring the Southern Room

Timestamp: [40:43 – 84:17]

With the Wind Trader’s aid, the party delves deeper into the mine, uncovering more mysteries:

• Rubble and Remains: As they excavate the rubble, they discover the bodies of winged devils (grilts) and retrieve valuable items, including an iron key and a scorched lantern ([79:03]).

• Challenging the Curtain: Natty uses her spyglass to examine the mural, leading to the revelation that it serves as a portal. Attempts to pass through the mural result in Doug being pulled into the chamber, where he encounters more challenges and navigates through the stormy environment ([49:05]).

• Interacting with Celestial Entities: In the silvery chamber, they meet the Wind Trader again, who hints at further quests and world purification, setting the stage for future adventures ([85:36]).

Notable Quote: Doug muses on the mysterious mural: "I think about the halfling sailor drowning... that's weird to have in a silver mine" ([39:38]).

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6. Preparing for the Next Quest: Seeking the Baron

Timestamp: [84:17 – 86:45]

As the group gathers their newfound resources and information, they strategize their next moves:

• Safe Passage and Guidance: Thanks to the Wind Trader, they now have a lead on locating the elusive Baron, who remains a critical figure in their mission ([75:37]).

• Reflecting on Discoveries: The adventurers contemplate the nature of the Wind Trader and the implications of their interactions, pondering over the deity's motives and the potential for deeper connections to their quest ([86:10]).

Notable Quote: Gustavo (DM) leaves listeners with a cliffhanger: "Find out what world purification is all about on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon" ([86:26]).

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7. Closing Remarks and Community Engagement

Timestamp: [86:45 – End]

The episode concludes with a humorous wrap-up and calls to action for listeners to support the podcast:

• Merchandise and Patreon: Listeners are encouraged to visit the Stinky Dragon merchandise store and become patrons for exclusive content, including bonus series and behind-the-scenes access.

• Acknowledgments: The hosts thank their supporters and mention contributions from the community, highlighting the collaborative spirit of the podcast.

Notable Quote: Gustavo promotes community support: "Check out store.stinkydragonpod.com for all your stinky dragon merch needs" ([41:52]).

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Conclusion: Episode 11 of Tales from the Stinky Dragon blends humor, camaraderie, and engaging storytelling as the adventurers navigate the mysterious Middrus Mine. With each character’s unique quirks and the DM’s creative narrative, the episode sets up intriguing plot developments and leaves listeners eagerly anticipating the next installment. Whether you’re a seasoned D&D player or new to the genre, this award-winning podcast episode offers a delightful mix of adventure and comedy suitable for all ages.

Notable Quotes Recap:

• Doug on his nightmare: "Everyone just stares at me and this kind of growing feeling of dread grows in me" ([05:19]).
• Tolv offering silver: "500 silver pieces... 600 silver pieces? I think we should take this" ([75:02]).
• Gustavo's cliffhanger: "Find out what world purification is all about on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon" ([86:26]).

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Stay Connected:

• Subscribe: New episodes premiere every other Wednesday on major podcast platforms and the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.
• Support: Become a patron on stinkydragonpod.com or join the Beacon TV community for exclusive perks.
• Merchandise: Visit store.stinkydragonpod.com for Stinky Dragon gear.

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This summary captures the essence of Episode 11, focusing on the narrative progression, character dynamics, and key plot points while excluding advertisements and non-content segments.

Transcript

[Tolv]

Wow.

[Doug]

What's up?

[Natty]

I just bought and financed a car through Carvana in minutes.

[Gustavo]

You, the person who agonized four weeks.

[Doug]

Over whether to paint your wall's eggshell or off white, bought and financed a car in minutes.

[Natty]

They made it easy. Transparent terms, customizable down and monthly. Didn't even have to do any paperwork.

[Doug]

Wow.

[Gustavo]

Mm. Hey, have you checked out that spreadsheet.

[Natty]

I sent you for our dinner?

[Gustavo]

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[Doug]

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[Gustavo]

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[Doug]

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[Gustavo]

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[Doug]

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[Gustavo]

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[Doug]

Steaters Skidiron into the Stinky Dragon and sip on our latest libation, Itsy Bitsy Cider. It's a mixture of tarantularic tea leaves, a grapple of apple slices, cinnamon stickiness, climbing cloves, eight legs of nutmeg and a water spout. One wash of this whistle wetter is enough to clear the cobwebs and avoid the rain. Previously our adventurers fell from a foresting facade facility into a fortress of fiends and firewood. The four of them fought a ferocious baron, flying infernal foes and fake foliage foot soldiers, but were found flat footed. Finally, the Baron fared thee well through a fissured floor, but not before fetching a friend of theirs. Private parts Cobble a caffeinated cup and let's continue this kermurmuring Chronicle.

[Gustavo]

I like that you put a pronunciation guide for kermurring.

[Doug]

Even it said it wrong.

[Gustavo]

Anyway, who wrote it? Yeah. Hello everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'M your dungeon master, Gustavo.

[Gunther]

Soola.

[Gustavo]

I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow in my mouth.

[Doug]

It's the first of 20. 25.

[Gustavo]

20.

[Natty]

25, 20, 20. Fine.

[Gustavo]

We're in the future.

[Doug]

The first full year of Stinky Dragon as a company.

[Tolv]

That's how that works. September.

[Natty]

That'll be in June.

[Doug]

Well, I'm saying the first full calendar year.

[Natty]

Calendar year starting now.

[Doug]

Calendar year. Thank you, guys.

[Tolv]

Go the company.

[Gustavo]

Make a company. Yeah, Go, go, go, go.

[Doug]

Make.

[Tolv]

Do it.

[Doug]

Make it work.

[Chris]

You're giving me anxiety, Gus.

[Gustavo]

I'm also blowing out my mic. I'm getting a little too enthusiastic here about running the company, adjusting my level. All right, everyone, your arrow question this week. It's a role playing warm up question. Your question is, what is your character's most recent or frequent nightmare? And that was sent by Jamara Hearts to Mir.

[Natty]

Are we rolling a D20 to answer?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Doug]

I was. I was going to grab my dice swing.

[Tolv]

Been so long, I dust everything off.

[Doug]

Oh, my dice. I missed you.

[Gunther]

I rolled a 17.

[Doug]

13, 19.

[Chris]

Oo 14.

[Doug]

Do I have an initiative modifier? Yeah, 21.

[Natty]

I don't know. I think we're just 20.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Now, you said roll for initiative, John.

[Gustavo]

We're just D20. We'll do John. Is it John. Barbara Blaine. Chris, I think Chris Blaine.

[Natty]

Chris Blaine.

[Gustavo]

Chris Blaine.

[Tolv]

Okay, I'm like last place.

[Gustavo]

All right, Natty, hit us up with your. With your nightmares.

[Doug]

Hi, I'm John Risinger and I'm playing Natty Wonder, the warlock. Drow or drow Warlock. Whichever you want to do with in English or Spanish, you know, because the adjectives are different places now, Gus.

[Gustavo]

Adjectives are they. But they're both nouns, though.

[Doug]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know how. But what would it go first, the drow or the warlock?

[Gustavo]

Anyways, I think it's drow or it's normally character racing. Character class.

[Doug]

And then class. What was my latest nightmare? Or most frequent or most frequent? Well, most frequent is. Is a better way of describing this because I. I have this dream all the time where it's. It's beautiful. I'm at my wedding.

[Tolv]

Oh, such a nightmare.

[Doug]

Yeah, I know. And. And I'm there. And I' altar. And. And I. And I. I'm there with. With my wife. And.

[Gunther]

Well, we talking about like. Like death alto.

[Doug]

Well, you know, like, I'm sure it's like the same altar like y'all have.

[Tolv]

Whenever y'all altered state of the clothing brand.

[Doug]

Do y'all know what an altar at a wedding is. Do you know what that is? Is that. Do you guys not have weddings in your culture?

[Gunther]

Knowing you, I was thinking like, like a sacrificial alto kind of thing, you know?

[Doug]

Okay, okay, okay. Just making sure you guys have, I. I don't know, traditions y'all have with like bugbears and croak folk and ocean people. Cool. Anyways, I'm there at my wedding and it's. It's the most important day of my life. And I'm looking obviously gorgeous. And I turn around and I look out and. And it's a big wedding. I got. Got lots of people. Like, like, like a stadium of people, honestly, just, just, just a crowd of crowds. And the thing is that as I turn around, I'm looking at all the faces and everyone is sad. Everyone's got like a look of like morose and worry and everything like that. And I can even hear some whimpers out in the crowd. And as I turn and I ask people like, hey, what's going on? What's wrong with everybody? Everyone just stares at me and this kind of growing feeling of dread grows in me. And then all of a sudden I wake up and I don't know what's going on.

[Tolv]

Wow.

[Chris]

Your wife not show.

[Doug]

Were those words?

[Chris]

Did your wife not show?

[Doug]

Okay, there you go.

[Tolv]

Maybe, maybe they found out there was not like an open bar or like, you know, it was like a buffet style serving system.

[Gunther]

Yeah. If you find out what went wrong in your wedding, please let me know.

[Gustavo]

All the details of what could possibly.

[Gunther]

Go wrong at a wedding when you're planning a wedding.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

Doug is like doing research for some.

[Gustavo]

Reason found out Tov doesn't like buffets at weddings for some reason.

[Tolv]

So. Okay, listen, we're in a post pandemic world. I think we all know what's the deal. No, I'm just kidding. If you have a buffet, it's fine. It's fine.

[Doug]

We now we did have a buffet because I prefer to let just people go up and get food when they want. I hate when people have to wait. Yeah, yeah. When you have to just sit there and wait for everybody to get food, it's terrible.

[Tolv]

Totally fair.

[Doug]

However, Tove, no matter what people's traditions are, I know that it's a major faux pas to have a cash bar, so I would never do that.

[Tolv]

Oh, okay.

[Gunther]

That's the wheel. Nightmail.

[Doug]

Yeah. There. You know, I'm sure, I'm sure it's nothing. I'm sure it's just. It's just A whatever kind of thing. But, yeah, that's. That's my sharing.

[Tolv]

Cool nightmare.

[Doug]

Thanks for asking.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, thank you. That's a. That's a. That's a disturbing dream. Natty. I think it maybe says it's weird because normally I feel like you don't mind being the center of attention, but I feel like this is a stress dream about being the center of attention. It's a little weird. We got a little duality of Natty going on there.

[Doug]

I think you're telling on yourself when you interpret it that way. But honestly, it's not about. It's not about.

[Gustavo]

I'm definitely.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Gustavo]

I don't. I don't know. Some judgment from Natty here. I'm trying to figure you out.

[Doug]

It's more so. I'm just sad. Everyone's sad. I want people to be happy at my wedding. That's all I want, you know? You want to be a good host. You want to be a good host?

[Gunther]

Yeah. Cool.

[Tolv]

In the gang. Celebrate good times. Come on.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

And then you'll do the cha cha slide. Maybe a little later.

[Gustavo]

I think we covered that at some point in a past campaign. We did.

[Tolv]

We did.

[Gustavo]

It's bringing up memories.

[Natty]

No, we talked about the. The other song that we thought Blaine was making up. Oh, one that's like. To the right, to the right. To the right, to the right.

[Gustavo]

I don't remember it. Yeah, so I still think he's making it up. Anyway, Doug, I believe you are up.

[Gunther]

Yeah. So Doug, unfortunately, does have a lot of nightmares.

[Gustavo]

I'm sorry to interrupt you. Doug, please introduce yourself first.

[Gunther]

Oh, gosh, I'm so rusty.

[Natty]

My name is Barbara Dunkleman and I am playing Doug Boone, the Level 3 artificer. Bugbear Battlesmith artificer, to be more specific.

[Gustavo]

Cool.

[Gunther]

And yeah, so as I was saying before I was woesly interrupted by guys.

[Gustavo]

Whoa. Just trying to help Doug.

[Doug]

He said it so politely, too. He said it so gingerly.

[Gunther]

Doug is testing out this thing by being less. More passive aggressive or just aggressive aggressive, I guess.

[Doug]

Is that a skill you need to work on?

[Gunther]

Maybe a little bit. Doug has had a lot of nightmares, unfortunately, but the most recent one actually was, you know, being on the battlefield with his team, with the Boutella team, and everyone was down, they were injured, and then Doug was the only one left, and it was actually the magistrate that he saw, and he was holding all these weapons, and Doug didn't have any of his armor or his spells or his books or his tools or anything like that. And then he woke up. So I don't know what that means, but I think he doesn't want to be the last one standing. I guess it's a little intimidating.

[Gustavo]

Maybe a feeling of. Of helplessness a little bit.

[Tolv]

I think that that was like episode one or three or something.

[Gunther]

Episode. What are we talking about?

[Tolv]

Sorry. Never mind.

[Gustavo]

Cole, if you're breaking the man I.

[Chris]

Share, it's my turn. I'm Chris Damaris. Hi. And I'm a croak folk fighter. I'm a frog. Let's be clear.

[Tolv]

Now.

[Doug]

Hold on now. Actually, I want. I want to address that.

[Gustavo]

Thank you. Go. You go first, John. I think we might be about to say the same thing.

[Doug]

I'm curious if we are. It's. And it's not. Who's John? I don't know what you're talking about.

[Tolv]

No.

[Gustavo]

Sorry, daddy.

[Tolv]

Sorry, fingers. It's very scary.

[Doug]

Now, you said you're a croak folk, which is your. Your accurate race name. But then you constantly call yourself just a flat out frog. Now, I'm going to disagree with that because you are frog like, but you are not a frog as far as like the actual frogs that we see down in the creek.

[Gustavo]

And to expand on that specifically, Gunther, you walk on two like you're bipedal. Right. You're not hopping around on fours like a frog. Yeah.

[Chris]

I can be honest.

[Doug]

Are you ashamed of your. Of what you are?

[Chris]

No. I can just be what I want to be. Why are you.

[Gunther]

Okay, you think you're a frog. You'll be a frog. Okay, my boy.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Tolv]

I come in and I say, this is my nightmare. Is the nightmare in the room.

[Doug]

So I was just curious, like, where that comes from. Why. Why you. Why you like to say that instead of like, you know, Doug says he's a bug bear, and I say I'm a drow and all that kind of stuff. I'm just curious. The no answer. Yeah, I figured.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Natty]

What's your dream?

[Chris]

The nightmare that I have. Well, it begins where my tongue is wrapped around a stick and it will not come off. It is very embarrassing.

[Gunther]

Is it cold?

[Chris]

Yes. Then I see my family dying while my tongue is wrapped around. And I cannot move because my family is dying because it's wrapped around the stick.

[Gunther]

That's really intense.

[Chris]

Then I'm naked in front of the entire tire. Everyone.

[Gunther]

Gunther, aren't you kind of always naked?

[Chris]

I wear clothes. Not a lot, but I wear those armor.

[Natty]

Is he like Donald Duck? Where he wears just something on this top half, but when he gets out of the shower. He puts a towel around his bottom half.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo]

So is that your most frequent nightmare, Gunther, or is it your most recent nightmare? I don't think we got clarification on that.

[Chris]

It is both.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Sometimes you have the same dream over and over, and it's slightly different, but sometimes it always is the same. It is like that.

[Gustavo]

Sure. Okay.

[Chris]

It's. It's both embarrassing and sad and then embarrassing again.

[Gustavo]

I may have missed this detail, but I'm just curious. When you have this nightmare, you talked about your tongue being wrapped around a stick. Do you recognize the location where you are?

[Chris]

Yeah, it is where it is. Like, it. It changes. Sometimes it is at a stick that is at home. Sometimes it is a stick in army, sometimes it is a stick. Here.

[Gunther]

Is it, like, the same stick, though? Like, it's.

[Chris]

Yes. I don't know. Why?

[Gustavo]

All right, well, thanks for sharing, Gunther. I think you opened up to us. I think you were. You were very vulnerable there, so I appreciate that.

[Chris]

I took my armor off.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Gunther, you know, if you. If you see any sticks in the future that you're a little intimidated by and need us to chop them down for you before you get close, let us know.

[Chris]

I should stop trying to put my tongue on them.

[Gustavo]

Good advice.

[Gunther]

That's probably a good course of action. Yeah.

[Gustavo]

Good advice. All right, Tolve, get in here. You're up.

[Tolv]

Okay. You heard me told I'm a male Orca, Barbarian Level 3. Good day to you. How are you, interviewer?

[Gustavo]

Oh, I'm good. I just got over a cold, but I'm feeling better now.

[Tolv]

Oh, that's good. That's good. Not to throw you an arrow, maybe, like a dart. You know, something small, manageable.

[Gustavo]

What does dart stand for?

[Tolv]

Dare. Let's just move on. What was the question? You know, my most frequent nightmare or most recent? No, this is my most frequent. It happens all the time. And I have to preface. You know, sometimes there's, like, a nice beginning in middle and end. No, straight up skellingtons everywhere surrounding me. Yeah. Lots of them. Big style. And they're all just, like, pulling at. They're, like, grabbing my arms and my clothes and my beard and things.

[Gunther]

Oh, that's scary.

[Tolv]

And they're just. And it's no. No sound. No sound. Just pulling and grabbing at me. And then I, like, want to pull back and be like, hey, guys, skellingtons. One at a time, please. Let's form a line.

[Natty]

Perhaps every single one of your characters calls them skellingtons.

[Tolv]

Like, that's just how you say that word. So anyways, skeletons. I'm like, let's get in a line. Like, let's get a ticket number. Okay. And then no voice. There's nothing. Just, like, bubbles. And it's hard to move and hard to walk. And it's also very dark. And. Yeah, that's that one. And then also, you know, like, sometimes I have a dream where I, like, poop my pants.

[Gustavo]

Oh.

[Tolv]

But sometimes that's real. And that's not.

[Doug]

I'm about to say, if my nose ain't lying, that ain't a dream.

[Gustavo]

Sometimes in the barracks, when you all declared you're sleeping, who slept under Toll? Was it Gunther, I think. I'm sorry, Gunther.

[Natty]

I thought Gunther was, like, under under.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, I think Toll had the bottom bunk.

[Doug]

No, Tolls was by himself. That's what it was.

[Natty]

Oh, yeah, I think it was Gunther, Doug, Natty.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, that's right.

[Doug]

Because he wanted to. He made a comment about, like, getting to watch his friends.

[Tolv]

Ah. You know, just watch and make sure that things sleep okay, that everyone's okay. If someone needs a GL like that.

[Natty]

How? Now, retroactively, we're saying Toll was alone in his own bed because he poops his pants.

[Gustavo]

That's not the case.

[Tolv]

That is. This is my third most frequent nightmare confirmed.

[Gunther]

To poop his pants.

[Tolv]

Where's the Baron? Okay, let's talk about things that are real.

[Gustavo]

The Baron says, enough.

[Chris]

I will get my answers.

[Gustavo]

And she very quickly flies over and grabs private parts, who's been kind of left alone at this point. And she flies down into one of the holes that was there at the southern end of the room.

[Natty]

With private parts.

[Gustavo]

With private parts in tow.

[Natty]

Imagine she picks him up from, like, the scruff of his neck.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, yeah. He. He goes limp. He can't move. And as she does so, you all start to hear a noise from above. Almost like a cacophony of voices yelling.

[Tolv]

Like.

[Doug]

Are they applauding?

[Gustavo]

No, they seem angry.

[Doug]

I told you they were lying. They're down there.

[Chris]

Oh, the loggers are. Wait, not the loggers. The people of the. Hold up the rules.

[Gustavo]

Yep.

[Chris]

Yes, exactly.

[Doug]

Why are they here? We're gonna get those Mortalion people, and they're gonna pay for what they did. Well, team. Well, I'm. Oh, I'm a leader still.

[Tolv]

I'm the leader. Like, you're like, the president right now. What do we do?

[Doug]

I think it's more military, so it might be, like a general or something.

[Gustavo]

Or.

[Doug]

Commanding officer. That's the word There it is. Thank you, nobody. My family was military, so all this jargon, it's, it's, it's Pig Latin to me. Okay, well, I for one don't really want to deal with an angry mob who doesn't like the military. Also, I think it might reflect poorly upon us to Sergeant Steel Eye if and we come back to the. The base sans a private. So maybe we should blue skidoo and get down in that hole.

[Chris]

Let us go. Hurry.

[Tolv]

Can I just throw like one quick word to the villagers to just like potentially calm them and then I. And then I'll follow.

[Doug]

If you want to do that on your own, I'm not gonna yuck your yum. Okay. And Natty grabs. Grabs Giggy and just whispers in his ear bet. And grabs him and wants to float down the hole.

[Gustavo]

Roll to see if he does it.

[Doug]

Ah, criminy.

[Tolv]

Welcome to the new year. Idiot.

[Doug]

Giggy, Mama really needs this New year.

[Tolv]

Same giggy.

[Doug]

It's an 18. He's a bat.

[Natty]

Do it for 20. 25.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

All right, so Natty and Giggy disappear down the hole.

[Chris]

Gunther follows.

[Gustavo]

Gunther follows. Tov is going to talk to the say a word to the townspeople. Doug.

[Natty]

I'm going to stay behind and wait for Toll to finish up so that he's not left alone.

[Tolv]

That just looks so kind.

[Natty]

But he's doing the thing where he's like looking back at the hole and going like, come on, come on.

[Doug]

Natty yells back. I will tell your story.

[Gunther]

Please don't close anything.

[Gustavo]

We're coming. As Natty and Gunther decided disappear down the hole, a rope gets dropped in from above. And you see Cobb climbing down and pointing and saying, hey, you too.

[Doug]

There they are. Meta wise, our most charismatic person just jumped into a hole. Just letting you guys know I'm in the hole already.

[Tolv]

No, I'm right here. What are you talking about?

[Gustavo]

Cobb begins climbing down the rope into the hole and appears like a rather large vulture is perched on Cobb's shoulder.

[Tolv]

Cool.

[Doug]

What? What race is Cobb again? So how's the scale?

[Gustavo]

Cobb is a gnome.

[Doug]

So it's a. It's a big bird on a little. Dude.

[Gustavo]

They're about the same size. They're very close to the same size.

[Natty]

He didn't have that on his shoulder before when we encountered him. Right?

[Gustavo]

You do not recall that.

[Chris]

You know how birds love holes?

[Doug]

No.

[Gustavo]

That was just like they don't. Silence and quizzical looks.

[Doug]

Chris, I don't think you can make jokes like that because we don't know if you're being serious.

[Natty]

I know. Like, do you know something we don't know?

[Gustavo]

Cobb hops off the rope and walks up over to Toll and says, why.

[Doug]

Did you lie to us?

[Tolv]

Cobb, so good to see you. Hello, bird friend. Oh, so nice to meet you, Cam. You what?

[Gustavo]

There's Cam.

[Tolv]

Cam. Cam is the bird.

[Doug]

Cam is the bird, Cobb and Cam.

[Gunther]

Your bird is named after your voice actor.

[Natty]

That's kind of funny.

[Doug]

Bar. That's great. I don't.

[Chris]

I don't know what any of that means.

[Tolv]

A lot of meta. So, like, you know, so good to meet you, Cam. Hello, Cobb. So good to see you. People of Raisin, do they return the whoop?

[Gustavo]

No more. People are starting to climb us.

[Doug]

I need you to roll a persuasion check for. For Blaine to see if he persuades.

[Tolv]

Them to whoop, whoop.

[Doug]

Don't just know his.

[Gustavo]

Make me a persuasion chip. Check at disadvantage.

[Tolv]

This is like a 12. That is like a zero. Oh, wait, no, no. That's a two. That's a two. What's. It's a one.

[Gustavo]

They are not into it. There is no returned whoop. Whoop.

[Doug]

Okay, so sorry.

[Tolv]

We are giving chase. There are bad people. And, you know, you guys seem very bad people here.

[Gustavo]

Oh, points at you.

[Tolv]

Touche, Cob. That was good. So, like, you guys need lumber. Look to the south.

[Doug]

Lumber.

[Tolv]

We've gotten you the lumber.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Tolv]

And then if you look to the north. Silver, you guys are, like, in dire straits. Right. You know, over at Raisin. So here are the things that you need. I need to go because we are giving chase. I am so sorry that we fooled you.

[Gunther]

We know we actually intentionally led you to this spot. Exactly. To provide you with everything that you need. Like Tove said. Right?

[Tolv]

That's. Yeah, totally.

[Doug]

If you guys turn and look in the hole, you can see Natty and she's holding those, like, opera glasses and just kind of watching. She's flying down.

[Gustavo]

Make. I'll tell you what. Make me a. Let's call it a persuasion check with advantage on this one.

[Tolv]

Persuasion.

[Doug]

The DM giveth.

[Tolv]

That is a 12. That's a 9.

[Doug]

Nice.

[Tolv]

If anybody has like a curse or her inspiration.

[Doug]

Doug, does he just. Barb just said she had to, but.

[Gunther]

It wasn't for this moment. Exactly.

[Tolv]

Okay, let's hear it out. Let's see what happens.

[Gustavo]

What's your name again? You told pointing at me.

[Gunther]

Oh.

[Tolv]

Oh, it's me, Tolf.

[Doug]

What would you do if you were in my position, Tove?

[Tolv]

I would probably be pretty upset, but trust me. And I. I can I reach for Cobb?

[Gustavo]

Sure.

[Doug]

In what way?

[Tolv]

Like, in a friendly kind of way. I'm going to grab his hand with both of mine and I'm going to say, trust me, Cobb. I mean you no harm. Nor do I want any of the people of Razin any harm. Okay. We are really trying to make good in this land. I. I believe me when I say this. Please, Cobb.

[Doug]

Hmm.

[Chris]

So we can take the lumber and the silver.

[Tolv]

I'm gonna put it. I'm gonna put an asterisk and say, yeah.

[Doug]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

[Gunther]

But we are not responsible for the outcome and the consequences of that. What that means, like, these belong to.

[Tolv]

The people of Teehee. But, like, dude, I gotta get going. So I'm gonna go. Best of luck. Enjoy the lumber. Enjoy rebuilding peace out. And then I'm gonna. I'm gonna just. Without even saying anything, I'm just gonna fall into the hole.

[Doug]

Can you just, like, trust.

[Tolv]

Fall into the hole with deuces up. I'm just gonna fall back.

[Gustavo]

Doug, what do you do about that?

[Doug]

What does Doug do?

[Natty]

Doug realizes that Tolb just abandoned him. When he was waiting for him to go to the hole, Blaine took a big drink.

[Doug]

That's why you heard that old lady laugh in the background.

[Natty]

Doug does that thing that cats do when they're scared of something, and he just slowly backs up.

[Gustavo]

Oh.

[Doug]

He like, curls his back and all of his hair is up, and he just kind of makes himself look bigger.

[Natty]

Taking one step back with each foot slowly. And then comically, like a cartoon, skitters away and into the hole.

[Gustavo]

I love it.

[Natty]

I forgot something in my car.

[Gustavo]

Oh, I thought Barbara was telling us that you had to go get something in your car right now. Man. That's a really interesting scenario you set up there, Blaine. I was trying to think how this would play out, and for some reason, I didn't think of this possibility. I think that's a really interesting scenario you set up, which you cannot see how it plays out.

[Doug]

This sounds like someone who just went and saw someone's community theater performance and doesn't know how to review it in a nice way.

[Chris]

That was a very interesting performance.

[Natty]

Yeah, unique.

[Doug]

The costumes were there.

[Gunther]

You did something.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Chris]

I had not seen anything like that.

[Tolv]

Cool. Yeah.

[Doug]

I don't know.

[Tolv]

I'm sure that that's gonna make a war happen between Raisin and Teehee, but I hope that Tolv was. I was being. He was being genuine. So I hope that they came through for Cobb.

[Natty]

We're just gonna get blamed for this. Whatever spurs from this war potentially. Well, those Guys said we could take it.

[Tolv]

I mean, do we need to roll it back? I. I don't. I mean, it's too late.

[Gustavo]

You're not there in a hole you are in.

[Doug]

You gotta be confident with the choices you made.

[Gustavo]

First things first, Tove, make me a dexterity check.

[Tolv]

Okay, easy.

[Gustavo]

You're not just gonna get a free trust fall for the fall.

[Tolv]

That is 0:10.

[Doug]

What's Tolve's dex modifier plus three. Oh, okay, so that was a bad roll.

[Tolv]

However, I have that thing that is called danger. Since you have advantage on dexterity saving throws against effects that you see while not bl to defend capacity.

[Doug]

Weren't you falling backwards?

[Chris]

It also was in a saving throw.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, it's a check, not a saving throw.

[Tolv]

What did I do?

[Natty]

You did a check.

[Gustavo]

No, no. Like danger sense works on dexterity saving throws, not dexterity checks.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Gustavo]

The council of barbarians weighed in. Yeah.

[Tolv]

Council of barbarians. You guys have left me. You've abandoned me.

[Natty]

Both me and Chris were just here shaking our heads as FL was explaining it.

[Gunther]

We're like, it's not going to work.

[Tolv]

You know, Gus, I have a. A package of uncrustables I could bring to you. Perhaps an inspiration dye.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. But you've got the grape ones, which are objectively the worst ones.

[Doug]

What?

[Natty]

That's fighting words.

[Doug]

It's so interesting to me that people are so vehemently against grape jelly because it seems like such a fine flavor.

[Chris]

Don't care for it.

[Gustavo]

It's just that the strawberries burn when you have strawberry.

[Natty]

Yeah, that's the same.

[Doug]

My kids are the same way. But I've never been like, I just like jelly. If there's jelly on the table, I will eat it.

[Gustavo]

I'm not a big jelly person in general.

[Doug]

So we used to go to Knott's Berry Farm in California and they had a restaurant outside of it that was Mrs. Knott's. And so it was like home style food. And they always had these like just a jar or like a tray filled with all these little jellies. And that was like the best part. I would take those all.

[Gunther]

Yummy.

[Gustavo]

I feel like we should have a. This is just an idea. I'm not saying we're doing it. In an upcoming second wind, we should have like a ranking of all the different uncrustables and good rank them from. From S tier all the way down to F. Could we just do it?

[Doug]

Can we do the thing where we like try them all? There's that many we gotta.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, we should Absolutely do that.

[Doug]

I like this.

[Gustavo]

And of course, Second Wind is our Patreon exclusive post show, which you can listen [e-mail] or you can actually also listen to it on Beacon if you're a member there. At Beacon TV we need a P.O.

[Doug]

Box so people can send us.

[Tolv]

Oh my God.

[Natty]

I think we could buy our own crustables.

[Tolv]

This uncrustable's homemade.

[Doug]

But what if people have like, weird ones in different places around the country that we don't have access to?

[Natty]

It's not like Pop Tarts.

[Doug]

Are there weird Pop Tarts?

[Natty]

I don't know.

[Gustavo]

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[Natty]

People used to send us pop tarts way back in the day. So I'm just making an equivalent.

[Doug]

Your confidence dropped so much.

[Gunther]

Yeah, John.

[Natty]

There's totally weird types of.

[Tolv]

They did grilled cheese.

[Doug]

Okay, there you go. There you go. There you go. Okay. Okay.

[Gustavo]

We're in the hole.

[Chris]

Yeah, we're in the weeds is where we're at.

[Doug]

Yes, but that's where we go all the time. We live there.

[Gustavo]

All right, so you all hop down the hole. All four of you are there now. And it's very dark with dusty air. And you all hear echoes of tinkering metal and fluttering of wings.

[Doug]

Interesting.

[Gustavo]

Where you are, where you all come down, the air is, like I said, is very dusty. And the cave wall walls themselves are shiny. And you find yourselves at kind of like a T intersection. And there's an unlit torch.

[Doug]

Which orientation is the T? T is standing upright or T is.

[Gustavo]

On its side standing upright. So, like there's a path to the west, a path to the east, and a path to the south.

[Natty]

And are we. Where are we?

[Gustavo]

And you're right at the intersection.

[Chris]

You said it's dusty. Right. Can we look at the ground and see where the dust has been unsettled for footprints or anything like that, like, or even, even where the air is like pulling the dust? Because if you ran, it would like.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, why don't you make me a survival check for that? I'm gonna read a few more descriptors and then we'll deal with the results of that roll. Like I said, the air is thick with a silvery dust and the cave walls are shiny and lustrous with veins of silver. From where you are, the west path smells of fresh air, and the east path is blocked by a cave in the south path seems to kind of like get smaller and lead down to a narrow crawl space. And what's the results of your survival check there, Gunther?

[Chris]

Oh, I rolled a six.

[Gustavo]

You don't see any tracks or anything that would indicate someone came through. However, while you're looking on the ground, you do find an unlit torch lying on the ground near that east rubble.

[Gunther]

Should we light the torch so we can see a little bit better?

[Chris]

Light the torch.

[Doug]

Could I also? What's my dancing lights? My dancing lights, they're called dancing lights. Cantrip. I can do it as much as I want. I cast dancing lights.

[Gustavo]

So you're all doing dancing lights. Lights and the torch are just dancing lights.

[Doug]

This one creates four torch sized lights. So I feel like that's probably, I don't know, you guys can do what you want.

[Natty]

I think Doug will pick up the torch and take it with them though.

[Chris]

Yeah, I think not. Torches is good because so many of them like fire.

[Gunther]

Oh, it's true. Yeah. And maybe the fire will draw more attention to us somehow than just regular light. I don't know.

[Tolv]

Now you could like, extinguish the dancing lights, make them sitting lights, you know, if need be.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Which way was the Fresh air.

[Natty]

Was it east or west?

[Gustavo]

West.

[Natty]

West.

[Gustavo]

West is fresh air, east is like a caved in rocks, and then to the south, it narrows down to a crawl space.

[Doug]

Do y'all know what I've always wanted to see? Once I heard this was a thing.

[Tolv]

Go on.

[Doug]

Hey, Doug, could you check the crawl space?

[Gunther]

You know, I didn't want to reveal this to the team, but yeah, I could check the crawl space. Guys, listen, I know I'm big, but as a bugbear, I actually have a very special ability to go into really small spaces.

[Chris]

Me too.

[Gustavo]

What?

[Tolv]

So like, how does that work?

[Gunther]

Bear too.

[Chris]

I do want to see this.

[Tolv]

Doug, are you like a cat where like if your head can fit in, then the rest of your whole body can fit in? Is that what this is?

[Doug]

Yeah. They can get into like tiny spaces.

[Tolv]

Are you like totally like Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon? And you can dislocate your shoulder and then like pop through things like super like rigs style. I'm getting too old for this.

[Gustavo]

It's under features and traits. It's near the bottom. It's called sneaky.

[Natty]

As a bugbear, you are proficient in the stealth skill. In addition, without squeezing, you could move through and stop in a space large enough for a small creature.

[Doug]

Oh, so even smaller than Gunther.

[Chris]

No, I'm.

[Doug]

Are you small?

[Gustavo]

I'm same size, yeah.

[Doug]

Oh, okay.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, absolutely. I want to see you do that, Doug. But before you do that, I just want to read something to clarify. Dancing lights. Just so everyone knows what it is, because I. It's a spell and I know you can see it, John, but not everyone can see it. So Natty's able to create up to four torch sized lights within range, making them appear as torches, lanterns, or glowing orbs that hover in the air for the duration. Natty can also combine the four lights into one glowing, vaguely humanoid form of medium size. Whichever form you choose, each light sheds dim light in a 10 foot radius. And as a bonus action on your turn, you can move the lights up to 60ft to a new spot within range. A light must be within 20ft of another light created by the spell. And the light winks out if it exceeds the spell's range. So basically it's like four dim torches that Natty can move around at will and combine them if she wants.

[Doug]

Yeah, and since we're not in combat, I can just keep moving them.

[Natty]

Okay, got it. That's cool. Good thing to have.

[Doug]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Tolv]

Everyone's whipping out their Nito powers, so I'M like, hey, look at me. I can do this. And then I, like, touch the silver wall, and then I go, go. Oh. And then I draw a smiley face.

[Gustavo]

Do you really touch the wall?

[Doug]

Yes, he did.

[Tolv]

He said.

[Doug]

He said it.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I totally did.

[Doug]

If Blaine's gonna say things happen, we have to have consequences.

[Tolv]

So I totally dropped in here and did the deuces, and they said, dexterity check. And I was like, okay. Then nothing happened, so I guess it landed perfectly.

[Doug]

You're a dummy.

[Gustavo]

The check was fine. The check.

[Doug]

Oh, okay.

[Natty]

It's probably, like, if it was maybe below a 10, you might have heard yourself or something.

[Tolv]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo]

So, Doug, you squeeze down. It's not, like, super tight. You think normally someone of your size, Doug, might have trouble getting through here, but you're able to. To get down without any trouble, thanks to your sneaky trait.

[Natty]

You know what I picture with a bugbear and, like, why they're, like, able to do this? You know when you have, like, a really fluffy dog and it gets wet and it's like, all of a sudden, like, looks like a little rat. Yeah, that's what I'm imagining.

[Doug]

Gus has one of those.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, he's in the other room right now sleeping.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

Red dog.

[Tolv]

As he does this, I say, wow. Crawl all into the sneaky dragon.

[Gustavo]

That's good.

[Tolv]

That's her offshoot show.

[Gustavo]

I like it. Not good enough for an inspiration dive, but it was good.

[Tolv]

God target.

[Doug]

You know what I want now is I want a Doug Squishmallow.

[Gustavo]

Oh, that would be great. Yeah.

[Natty]

The hug a Doug.

[Tolv]

Hug a dog.

[Doug]

All right, get in the hole, Maddie.

[Gustavo]

Natty kicks Doug in the butt and.

[Tolv]

Shoves him into the hole.

[Doug]

I'm going, geez, no, I don't do that. I didn't do that. I just. You shouted, get in the hol with commanding officer Gravitas.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, it's like in Forrest Gump when they give him the gun and tell him to get in the hole, and he, like, in Vietnam, and he, like, dives in.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

So, yeah, you crawl in, and much like that intersection where you were before. And, Doug, you're the only one who sees this because you're the only one who's gone in. The air is still very dusty, and the walls are shiny. As you look around, you see that there is a large curtain on the south wall and rubble everywhere covering the floor. And there appear to be two exits from this room. The one to the north, which you just crawled through, and one to the east.

[Doug]

Okay, so the crawl Space went into a room.

[Gustavo]

Yes.

[Doug]

And there's a curtain in the room.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. There's a large curtain on the south wall.

[Natty]

On the south wall. Could I go check out the curtain?

[Gustavo]

Yeah. You take a closer look, and you see it's a lustrous curtain that spans the entire south wall, floor to ceiling. An inexplicable breeze seems to ruffle the curtain. Every now and then, I want to.

[Natty]

Go open it up.

[Doug]

This is how Doug dies.

[Gustavo]

You open up the curtains, and it exposes a large mural painted on the wall. The mural depicts a halfling sailor drowning in a sea, reaching up to a chalice in the sky that appears to be overflowing with water.

[Natty]

Halfling sailor drowning, reaching up for a chalice that's overflowing.

[Gustavo]

Chalice in the sky overflowing with water.

[Doug]

That's weird to have in a silver mine.

[Natty]

Could I look at the mural with my spyglass of Zodia?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, absolutely. You look at it, and you realize you're too close. So then you stand, you take a few steps back to the northern portion of the room and take a look at it.

[Doug]

This is like when you get to, like, the looking glass in Ocarina of Time, and you just use it on everything, and there's nothing most of the time.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. You look at it, and you can see that the mural is indeed of fine quality, but it's not like the other one, where you saw stars and things. It doesn't seem to reveal any further hidden information.

[Natty]

Could I tell by me going through this little crawl space if the other members of my team would fit through? Like, am I able to judge that size?

[Gustavo]

Okay, you think Gunther? Definitely. And you think to. And Natty would be able to get through. Okay.

[Natty]

Okay. Doug crawls back out the way he came. So, like, butt first towards.

[Tolv]

What's up, Pac Man? How was. How was.

[Doug]

That's how, like, copy bearers do it.

[Gunther]

So we'll all fit through the quall space if we want to come take a look. But I found this, like, weird intersection where there was just curtain, and it was covering this mural. I don't know if you guys want to come take a look. And then there was also another exit to the east, but I don't know if we should go that way. So I don't know if anyone else wants to come take a look and maybe see something that I was missing or. Yeah, if we all just want to take a little field trip down this way.

[Chris]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Yeah, let's do it. All right.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. Everyone proceeds into the southern Room. What's the order? You all go in?

[Natty]

I'll go last this time.

[Chris]

I'll go first.

[Doug]

Yeah, have Gunther go first and me go second. I'm not going after Toll when he gets stuck.

[Gustavo]

Okay. Gunther. Natty. Tolve.

[Tolv]

Doug, stop hitting me with your tail. Why do you even have this thing? Aren't you like. Like a drow? What is this?

[Gustavo]

Ow.

[Natty]

Drow?

[Gustavo]

I can't spell drow without ow.

[Doug]

It's special. Quit your grappling.

[Tolv]

Oh, okay. Just the people want to know that, you know, they've been people.

[Doug]

You keep referencing something that's outside of our world. And I don't understand this whole fourth wall conversation you're having.

[Tolv]

No, there are only two.

[Doug]

Is Toll the deadpool of our group?

[Tolv]

Do not put that on me.

[Gustavo]

Speaking of fourth wall, check out store.stinkydragonpod.com for all your stinky dragon merch needs.

[Doug]

What a shilling.

[Gustavo]

Hey, I gotta buy my uncrustables. Buy a shirt. Go to Patreon.

[Doug]

I thought you were gonna say something important like health insurance. Make you went with uncrustables.

[Gustavo]

Uncrustables. They're 250 at living spaces.

[Chris]

He needs health insurance because he's eaten too many unhealthy crustables.

[Doug]

Not enough like nutrition and vitamins.

[Gustavo]

Okay. Yeah. So you all entered the southern room. And just a quick recap. I can expand on anything you all want. Air is dusty, seems to be thick. There's shiny cave walls. The curtain which Doug has pulled back, exposing the big mural. There's piles of rubble in the room. And there is a door to the east in addition to the crawl space that came in from the north.

[Doug]

Okay. I think Natty would be very curious about this mural. And I want to look more closely at the halfling. Is there anything noteworthy about the appearance of the halfling or any context clues for what they might be like? Are they wearing a uniform of some kind? Do they have a scar? Or are they just generic default player in a video game?

[Tolv]

Not to like double up, but, you know, having a background and nautical stuff. Tolv wants to look and see the same things as well as well.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. Both of you go up there and take a look. And it appears to be a sailor. It's definitely a sailor of some kind. So it's not like default adventurer with like a long sword and a pack. It is is someone who's definitely a sailor.

[Doug]

What hair color do they have?

[Gustavo]

Brown.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Yoohoo, sailor.

[Chris]

That's all colored, huh?

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Doug]

And what's the chalice. Is there anything to describe the chalice? Like, is it anything we would have seen before? Or is there anything, like, is it encrusted in jewels, or is it just, like, again, generic gold Chalice?

[Natty]

We've seen a chalice.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

What do you mean?

[Doug]

Wasn't a chalice one of the items, like, the artifacts?

[Natty]

Was it something that was in our trunk? Drinks that they found?

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Or like, one of the things that the judge stole.

[Doug]

Magistrate, magistrate stole.

[Tolv]

So, like, full disclosure, you know, no secrets with Tolv. Except for some. But, like, I got him. I. I recognize this chalice symbol. Yeah, I got. I got a message from the beyond, and they're like, dude, you totally know what this.

[Doug]

You know?

[Tolv]

Totally.

[Doug]

No, that is full honesty, because Blaine could have just taken credit for knowing what this was, but Blaine did not.

[Tolv]

No, no. Someone's like, wow, this is, like, the symbol of your deity. And I'm like, oh, my God, you're totally right. It is.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, it's a. It's a holy symbol for a deity called the Sea Drinker.

[Doug]

Oh, is this what your deity does? It just drown people in the ocean?

[Tolv]

Amongst other things, you know? Yeah, he's just, like, a big water guy. I don't know much about him. I'm not very religious, I'm so sorry to say. But, you know, like, that's, like, that guy. I could totally relate. Look at him, you know?

[Doug]

Okay.

[Tolv]

He's like, ah, water everywhere. What do I do?

[Gustavo]

Drink it. Of course.

[Tolv]

Yeah. Salty. You.

[Doug]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Could I try and remove the mural? Is it, like, something that, like, is hanging on the wall, or is it painted on the wall?

[Tolv]

Wall.

[Gustavo]

It's painted on the wall.

[Doug]

Okay. You said the curtain was moving.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, it seemed like every now and then, it was. It was ruffling.

[Doug]

Can I, like, lick my finger and. And see if I can follow where the. This wind is coming from?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, make a investigation check.

[Doug]

What's the check for? Licking your finger.

[Gustavo]

Investigation.

[Doug]

I'm gonna go with, ooh, that's a critical fail.

[Gustavo]

You lick your finger, and then you remember that you changed Gigi's diaper. A. You start spitting.

[Doug]

I've tasted that before, unfortunately.

[Chris]

I told you, be careful of licking sticks.

[Natty]

Licking sticks?

[Tolv]

No, not the sticks.

[Doug]

Hey, y'all, could you help me figure out where this. This. The. The curtain was moving. Could y'all help me find where this curtain was moving? Why?

[Gustavo]

We're.

[Doug]

We're in a cave. There's no wind.

[Natty]

Doug comes over to help look.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Could Gunther look as well.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I want to look at this curtain. Is it, like, a fine quality? Could I, like, sew this into, like, a cool cape or something?

[Gustavo]

I'll answer that in a second. Tove, let me deal with the air investigation first.

[Doug]

Oh, sure, sure, sure. Tove. 100% does, like, sewing and, like, knitting work. He's that kind of a guy.

[Tolv]

Yeah, maybe.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. Doug and Gunther, each of you make investigation checks.

[Gunther]

I'm on the case.

[Chris]

15, 16.

[Doug]

Nice.

[Gustavo]

15 and 16.

[Gunther]

Good investigation, Gunther.

[Chris]

I got lucky.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. Both of you seem to think that the breeze and the wind is occasionally coming from behind the mural.

[Doug]

But it's painted.

[Natty]

Yeah, like through the cracks of it kind of thing. Or like, maybe does this.

[Doug]

Is this a door?

[Tolv]

Yeah. Is. Is this like Mario 64? If we jump into the painting, does it, like, go like Yahoo.

[Doug]

Doug, wait. Tove, I fully support this. You should take a running start.

[Gunther]

Okay, let me say. Let me sidebar here with Natty for a second.

[Tolv]

Yo, sir.

[Gunther]

Natty man called Natalie. Is that your full government? I don't know.

[Doug]

It is not. That is my full government name. Full government. It's actually not. It's my made up name.

[Gunther]

Here's the thing. Tove is Tov's big boy. He's kind of like a golden retriever. Well, he doesn't know his own strengths, you know, but thinks he's a puppy. And if he comes full speed running into this wall.

[Doug]

It's true, it's true.

[Gunther]

I know he's gonna break or it's gonna break.

[Doug]

You know, what would he be? Maybe even worse is if he does it and then Giggy sees and he just wants to mimic it. I don't want to see my little baby do that.

[Chris]

So what's told done while they've been sidebar.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to ask.

[Doug]

We're facing away from the mural, and then the camera just sees a large orc just run across the scene.

[Tolv]

Brusque to hear. We can do.

[Doug]

You just hear this Doppler effect sound of.

[Gustavo]

I'm very inclined to go along with that, but I would say in this case case, Tolv would probably be looking at the curtains because he did ask about the quality of the curtains.

[Doug]

Okay, it's true.

[Gustavo]

So he would be investigating.

[Tolv]

Yeah, I'm like. I'm like, putting them up to me, like, trying them on. Like, oh, does this. Look at my skin color.

[Doug]

It's like the Grinch trying on clothes before he heads out to see the. Who's like, ooh, ah.

[Natty]

I love that.

[Doug]

Sorry. I just watched that movie last month.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, it's. It seems to be very fine quality. It seems out of place here in, like, a cave system, a mine.

[Tolv]

Okay, I'm gonna, like, look to the left, look to the right, give a cough, and then when I cough, I rip the curtain off of the thing and stuff it into my back.

[Gustavo]

Okay. Yeah, you look left and right and make a very loud cough. Make a performance check. Let's see how that cough goes.

[Natty]

I like how he's essentially performing for us 15. As far as you know, there's no one else down here?

[Tolv]

Good cough.

[Gustavo]

Oh, yeah. You all think Tolv might be sick? He sounds like he's coughing up a lung, and at the same time, he. He yanks on the curtain and pulls it down.

[Gunther]

Tolop, did you get what Gus had?

[Gustavo]

I hope not. It was terrible.

[Chris]

Can we look for any openings in this mural, like, in the wall or anything?

[Doug]

Actually, yeah, I support that, but I also. Jokes aside, Natty would actually put her hand against the mural. No one's touched it yet.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. So, Gunther, you begin inspecting the wall with the mural painted on it, looking real close, trying to find cracks. And while you're doing that, Natti puts her hand up. Up to the wall and touches it. And, Natty, your hand goes through.

[Doug]

It was Mario.

[Gustavo]

Oh, yahoo.

[Natty]

Wait, really?

[Doug]

Okay. Natty would stick her head through.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, you stick your head through.

[Doug]

Doug, hold my tail.

[Gunther]

Okay, I got it.

[Doug]

Okay. And then Natty sticks her head through.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, you stick your head through while Doug is holding onto your tail, and you die. I'm just trying to think, like, how to say. Because it's always weird when one person goes through and gets information that everyone else doesn't have. So it's just like, internal DM dialogue.

[Tolv]

We can leave. We can turn off our headphones.

[Gustavo]

No, no, you're good. You stick your head in, and this seems like a very windy room. It seems like there's a tornado swirling around in this silvery chamber. And there's. In the center of the room, there's a blue halfling lying on a pile of silver pieces.

[Doug]

Whoa, wait. Blue halfling as in blue skin or blue garbed or blue statue?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, blue skin. Like, pale blue.

[Tolv]

Oh, is he, like, sad?

[Natty]

This isn't the same person who was on the mural, right?

[Doug]

Well, blue is usually what someone turns when they. They drown in the water.

[Gustavo]

I wouldn't be able to answer that question for Doug, but I could answer that question for Natty, and I will say, natty, you Recognize it looks like this halfling is the same halfling who was on the mural.

[Doug]

And so it's a large chamber, and the only thing I see is the sailor on the floor looking blue and pale, plus silver pieces.

[Gustavo]

No, it's windy. And you see a tornado swirling around the chamber as well.

[Doug]

Oh, there's literally like a tornado.

[Gustavo]

Yes.

[Doug]

Okay, interesting.

[Natty]

I think Doug would follow through the mural after seeing Natty go through it.

[Doug]

Well, let me. Let me pull my head back.

[Natty]

Oh, okay.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, because you're. Because, Doug, you're holding on to the tail.

[Natty]

The tail.

[Doug]

Right. That would be very disconcerting if Natty's, like, got her head through and then Doug puts his head. He's like, who's holding my tail? That is not how an anchor works.

[Gustavo]

You should have had the sailor help if you wanted an anchor.

[Doug]

I know.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Doug]

Natty comes through and tells them what Natty sees.

[Gustavo]

Well, as you try to, you know, remove your head from the room, why don't you make me? Let's call it a dexterity saving throw.

[Doug]

Uh oh, okie dokie.

[Gustavo]

And Doug, as in, like, an assist of some kind. Why don't you make me a strength check?

[Doug]

That's a 17 for Dex save grand old two.

[Gustavo]

Your anchor isn't very effective, Natty, but luckily you're able to. It feels like the wind and the tornado is pulling you towards it, and it's very difficult to extract your head. But you're able to pull yourself back out.

[Doug]

Yeah. Natty would push hands out and try to just kind of push against the wall with Natty's hands.

[Gustavo]

You try to push against the wall, but there's no wall there. Your hands just fly right through it.

[Doug]

Oh, it's that big of a mural, right?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, it's the whole wall.

[Doug]

Oh, okay. So this is really just a false wall.

[Natty]

I think the whole curtain was covering the entirety of it.

[Doug]

Right. Okay.

[Gustavo]

Correct.

[Tolv]

So, like, illusion, you know, or like, like portal. What are we thinking here? Like, is that room on the other side or are we, like, being teleported?

[Doug]

Hard to say.

[Gunther]

I think more illusionary.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Chris]

Because the wind.

[Doug]

Okay, listen, team. Gather round, everybody. Team. Team meeting. Team meeting. Okay. Gunther, you still here? Yes. Okay.

[Gunther]

He's right below you. I know he's small, but I'm here.

[Doug]

Okay. Just hadn't heard him in a while. Just want to make sure we haven't lost our frog. Okay. There is a tornado in there, and I want to know what's going on with. There's a halfling on the floor, and it's the same guy. Guy. And since it is your deity, Tove, and you're a big old drink of water.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Doug]

I'm thinking we might create some sort of anchor system in here with the rest of us, and we send you in to check out what's going on in the there.

[Tolv]

Cool. Yeah. I will be the sacrifice. That's cool with me.

[Gunther]

I do want to suggest, though, the anko is usually the strongest and heaviest part. And if the ankle is the one at the front.

[Doug]

Yeah, But I. But I also think we learned about this. This. This folk tale of this. This guy named Mario. And he would sometimes turn into a heavier, steel like, version of himself, and that would allow him to traverse windy areas more.

[Gunther]

Cool.

[Tolv]

Yeah, that sounds cool.

[Natty]

That's a goal.

[Doug]

He was a very important drow from our. From our folk tales.

[Gustavo]

In some areas. They call him Mario.

[Chris]

Yeah.

[Natty]

Hey, that feels like a cheap shot at me. That is what I used to call it in Canada.

[Gustavo]

I was thinking more Michael Jones. He says it like that. Mario.

[Natty]

I feel like it's a north thing.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. So can you review the plan for me just to make sure I'm up to date on it?

[Doug]

Okay. I hear you, Doug, but you. You also are a big old so and so and so. I feel like if we just kind of really. If you kind of are the center of the anchor and then me, Gunther, and Gigi just kind of help also, we can be a good source of. Of collective strength.

[Gunther]

I'll do my best.

[Chris]

Hold on to the curtain.

[Tolv]

Maybe have, like, peons or what are climbing pitons or whatever they are.

[Gunther]

Well, well, why don't we just use.

[Doug]

Yeah.

[Gunther]

As you said, the curtain that Tolv took down, it's like, you know, I'll hold on to that.

[Doug]

What are you using the curtain for? I'm confused.

[Tolv]

Like, is the anchor, like, the rope thing around me?

[Doug]

We could use rope. Let's use rope. We have rope.

[Gunther]

We do have rope. I forgot about that.

[Gustavo]

John, I was with you. I was very confused about where this planet goes.

[Doug]

In my head, I was like, well, the curtain's probably the worst thing in the world to use in this windy place, so I don't know what you're thinking to use that for.

[Gunther]

It'll be like a sail.

[Doug]

That's what I thought it was going to be. But, yeah, I'm with Gunther on this. Is there, like, a stalag might.

[Chris]

Or tight?

[Doug]

Well, might be off of the floor so that we could, like, wrap a rope around it.

[Gustavo]

Well, there's rubble and the door and not much else.

[Chris]

A door.

[Doug]

Yeah, there's a door to the east. Let's not overthink this. Let's do some action. And we can all hold the rope. We'll kind of. Let's actually tie the rope around and we'll all hold on to Doug, and Tolv will tie it around you, and you go in. Cool.

[Tolv]

I'm so down for this.

[Doug]

Okay, let's do it. And break.

[Tolv]

Break.

[Gustavo]

You all tie the rope around yourself to give to a very secure anchor. Wrap the rope around Tolv as well. Who's tying all these knots, by the way?

[Doug]

Yeah, I think Tolv doing it. We can tie around to do it.

[Chris]

Yeah, he's a sailor. Sailor knots.

[Doug]

They're what? Oh, sailor knots.

[Chris]

Well, they know. They know they're not.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's true. That's true. It's true. I don't know knots. I not know knots.

[Gustavo]

You know nothing.

[Gunther]

I did not.

[Doug]

I thought a funny visual is just. We're all tied to Doug, so it's just a big, like, we're just all, like, turned into one giant person tied onto him. Like, almost like holding onto Totoro. And so we're just trying to anchor him as best we can.

[Natty]

Doug secretly loves us because he's getting a bunch of hugs from everybody.

[Doug]

He's starved for intimacy.

[Tolv]

I just love what Gunther contributes to this whole thing because he's just like. His legs are probably not even touching the ground anymore.

[Doug]

That's what I imagine. Like, him and Gigi are just like magnets on a fridge.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

To how are you going to go through the mural? Like, what's your plan? I'm going to run and dive through. Are you just going to walk through, like, paint me a picture about what it looks like about you going through this mural?

[Tolv]

Yeah. So, like, I've been on board a ship, you know, when the high winds and, like, hurricane, you know, type things. So I know that it's like a low center of gravity and a wide base, you know, will keep you stable on your feet. So I'm gonna have a hand on the rope, and then I'm gonna have the other hand protecting my face, and I'm gonna just slowly work my way in.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Also, I'm going to leave my shield outside because, like, that would be like, a sail made of wood. It would, like, drag me around, and I don't want that.

[Natty]

Drag me around.

[Doug]

I do that. I. I like this little gruffness that's coming out of Toll's talking. It's Very fun.

[Gustavo]

You lower your center of gravity, you know, square yourself off with your feet under. You put your hand out in front of you. Your left hand, I assume, as you kind of, like, lead the way through the mural. And you walk up to it, and your hand touches the wall.

[Doug]

Oh, no.

[Tolv]

Oh, no.

[Doug]

You knew this was coming, Gus.

[Gustavo]

Oh, yeah. That's why I wanted to hear in extreme detail how this was going, because if he was running through, I would have had a lot of fun. Yeah.

[Natty]

Wait, why didn't he go through?

[Chris]

Can Gunther try and touch. Just put his finger. Poke a finger through.

[Gustavo]

Gunther detaches himself.

[Natty]

I think that we would all test the wall if we saw that happening, right?

[Doug]

Okay. So Doug stands up with us all attached to him and then walks towards the wall.

[Tolv]

Just.

[Natty]

I just wanted to put a finger with Gunther.

[Tolv]

So, like, okay, then I'll roll reversal. I will be your anchor. And then you guys test if you can go in. And I will make sure you do.

[Chris]

Not even go in. I'm just poking a finger.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

Doug's like a mama possum with all the baby possums attached and they're all falling off and detaching and going off and doing their things.

[Doug]

I do love that visual.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, you all. I guess there's only two of you left. Doug and Gunther walk up to the wall and, you know, try to stick a finger through Doug. Your hand is able to go through, but Gunther, no, you. Your finger touches the wall.

[Gunther]

What?

[Tolv]

Gunther, you and me are not allowed into the club, I guess.

[Gunther]

Guys, what do. What does Doug and Nanny have that you guys don't? Other than our feminine charm.

[Doug]

Doug does exude a lot of femininity.

[Tolv]

What is happening here?

[Doug]

Well, then I think we should just change our tactic, and either me or Doug should go through. We can figure out the why later. But I want to know what's with this halfling?

[Tolv]

Yeah, for sure.

[Chris]

They're blue.

[Gunther]

Fairly curious as to why only you and I could go for Natty.

[Gustavo]

So now are we doing, like, a To and Gunther anchor with Natty and.

[Doug]

No, I don't. I don't want to say. Well, do you want to go through together? Maybe we should have help. Maybe it's a buddy system. I did say buddy system. At the top of our little travel.

[Gunther]

I'll be a buddy.

[Doug]

And we are buddies. We were buddies from the top of it. All right, we're going to go in, and I need our. Our barbarian and our fighter to help us out.

[Tolv]

Yeah, you totally got us. Also, like, we are the best Anchors because we cannot even go in. So, like, if you guys, like get.

[Gustavo]

Sucked in.

[Doug]

Get pulled against the wall, is Gambot around?

[Tolv]

Or like, do you have to like, summon him?

[Gunther]

Gambut's resting right now, you know.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Gotta get his strength back for the next battle.

[Gustavo]

He's on his wireless charging dock.

[Doug]

Okay. When. Whenever. To and Gunther anchor themselves. Like steady themselves. Gigi also joins them and holds. Like, if he could like, try to grab both of them with one arm and one arm each. And like, he also is like, he's. He's bracing.

[Tolv]

Hello. Or it's like, Giggy one leg, Gunther the other leg.

[Doug]

That's what saying, I have to roll. Wait, I have to roll something.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Doug]

He does do that. The opposite would have been Giggy's pushing you guys and trying to undo the road.

[Gustavo]

Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with.

[Doug]

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[Gustavo]

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[Doug]

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[Gustavo]

But that's weird. Okay, one judgment anyway.

[Doug]

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[Gustavo]

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[Chris]

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[Gustavo]

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[Doug]

Okay, I grab Doug's hand.

[Gustavo]

Okay, you two, Thelma and Louise it into the mural, disappearing from sight. And you know, you walk in and there's just violet winds swirling all around in this silvery chamber. Doug, you see now what Natty was talking about. There's a pale blue skinned halfling in the center lying on a pile of silver pieces.

[Doug]

Oh, I didn't get. Get this pile of silver pieces.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. And, you know, he's laying there and he looks happy. Oh, you know, like how Scrooge Maduck goes swimming through coins and, like, throws them around? It's kind of like that, you know, he's, like, reveling in the pile of silver coins.

[Doug]

Wait, is he moving?

[Natty]

Is he, like, dreaming?

[Gustavo]

You don't know if he's dreaming, but he is moving.

[Doug]

Oh.

[Natty]

Oh, like, does it.

[Doug]

Is it.

[Natty]

Are his eyes closed?

[Gustavo]

Currently, yes.

[Doug]

Okay, we go in, and Addie yells out, star, we're here to rescue you if you need that. What's your name? My name's Natty.

[Gustavo]

The halfling's eyes open, and his head, you know, whips around and looks at the two of you, and you see that he has silver coins for eyes.

[Tolv]

Whoa.

[Doug]

Oh, here's the coraline stuff.

[Gunther]

Silver eyes, he says.

[Doug]

Ah. Welcome, Natty.

[Tolv]

I am the wind trader.

[Doug]

Hey, Doug, I don't think we have to save this guy.

[Gunther]

I don't know if we do it. But also, did you ever tell him your name? How do you know your name?

[Doug]

I just said it. I just said it.

[Gunther]

Sorry I came here. It's very windy.

[Doug]

It's very good. Very good.

[Gunther]

The wind tweeter. What? What's. What do you trade for wind? And what. Why would people want wind for trading?

[Chris]

Ooh, wind can be very helpful on the seas.

[Doug]

Natty smells the wind because wind trading kind of instills a different kind of thought in Natty's head.

[Natty]

Could Tolve and Gunther hear us through the wall?

[Gustavo]

Oh, yeah, good question.

[Tolv]

I was about to say, if you want to experience our version of this part of the podcast, like, cover your ears under your microphones and.

[Gustavo]

The air smells clean, by the way.

[Doug]

Thank you.

[Gustavo]

You all again, guess to. And Gunther, you don't hear it clearly, but you can hear, like, muffled talking. Yeah, like. Like, kind of how you described it, Blaine, you know, covering your ears and. And trying to hear it.

[Tolv]

Gunther, I think there's, like, another dude in there, like, another person.

[Gustavo]

The hobby.

[Natty]

I think Doug would run up to.

[Gunther]

The wall and be like, to, do you have any need for wind? This guy's twating wind.

[Tolv]

Oh, wind is, like, super helpful for sailors. So, like, yeah, totally.

[Gunther]

Do you want some?

[Tolv]

Give me, like, a few wins, please.

[Natty]

One wind, please.

[Tolv]

Is that a wind trader in there?

[Doug]

I had a question that came to my head. Yes. Oh, okay. You're so. You seem happy with your life.

[Tolv]

I have a pile of money.

[Doug]

Yeah. I mean, if that brings you Happiness.

[Natty]

Yeah.

[Doug]

Are you by any chance the one in the picture that we just saw when we came through the wall?

[Tolv]

Oh, yes. Horrifying.

[Chris]

I'm getting, like. Any questions?

[Doug]

I'm waiting for the. The riddles. I'm waiting. I'm waiting. Thank you, Chris. This says, like, Scoville written all over it.

[Gustavo]

No riddle.

[Gunther]

I have a question. Are you a reanimated corpse?

[Doug]

It's a good question.

[Gunther]

Like, are you. Are you dead?

[Tolv]

I am not undead.

[Gunther]

Okay. Anywho.

[Doug]

Someone like you might call me a demigod.

[Tolv]

Oh.

[Doug]

Oh, hey, to y'all in your religion that you are not. Not knowledgeable about, are there any demigods that look like this?

[Tolv]

Dude, hold. Let me look at my version of, like, the Bible and see if I have anything on this.

[Gustavo]

You can make a religion check, I guess.

[Tolv]

Okay. That would be great. Yeah, I had the patron of the sea sailors and sea merchants, so I don't know if. Yeah, this is. Oh, it's the sea drinker pronouns. Or she, her symbol. Chalice overflowing with water. Patron of the seas, sailors and sea merchants.

[Doug]

That's the deity.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Tolv]

This is a demigod.

[Doug]

Your deity is a demigod. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Tolv]

This is different.

[Doug]

This is different.

[Tolv]

God, I rolled a six.

[Doug]

Stop telling me the meta. I don't know what rolling a six means.

[Tolv]

Okay, here's the thing. I'm going to say this like, Tolvin. It may or may not be mega.

[Doug]

Speak, but, like, by the way, he's saying all this out loud to Gunther.

[Tolv]

I remember as we started this campaign that, like, part of this whole thing was that there was, like, gods and then, like, demigods that, like, lived amongst us. So this kind of tracks, right? It's just like a. Just like a person.

[Doug]

Gunther, do you have anything to say about that?

[Chris]

I think that he sounds scary.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Yeah, he's kind of scary that he's happy. Yeah, a little too happy, if you ask me. If we're being in this situation.

[Chris]

How much is the wind?

[Doug]

That's a good question, sir. How much is a quart of wind? Well, depends on the purpose. What do you wish to trade exactly? Wait, the purpose or the. Or the trade material?

[Gustavo]

I guess from a meta perspective, like, what do you want accomplished?

[Doug]

I don't know.

[Tolv]

So, like, he, like, charges. Charges. Based on the use, I can offer safe passage.

[Doug]

To where? Wherever may be needed. I think we're in a. Like, a warp pipe again.

[Tolv]

My.

[Doug]

My friend Mario, he also would get to these places where wind would be able to Travel him to other places expeditiously.

[Chris]

Ask them why we can't come in.

[Gustavo]

It sounded like, no.

[Chris]

Ask them why we can't.

[Doug]

There you go.

[Gunther]

Is there a reason, Mr. Winter, why me and my friend Nanny were able to come in here, but we have some friends outside that would not get through?

[Doug]

I only allow those in who have enough currency to make a deal with me.

[Tolv]

Okay. We're talking about better. Like, this is totally that. Because he does not want us to have.

[Doug]

How much money you got on you, Doug? Amazing enough, I would say. Okay.

[Gunther]

I don't know if I should say it out loud, because I don't want him to take all of it.

[Doug]

You know, I yell back to Gunther. He don't like poor folk.

[Chris]

It's croak folk.

[Gustavo]

Oh, man, that's good. That's good.

[Doug]

That's. That's the one we get from Chris today day.

[Gustavo]

Take an inspiration. Die, Chris. That's really good.

[Doug]

Okay. Safe passage. I like that. Those are two words I like. Where can you send us safe passage? A2. Back to your friends. Well, that now just got ominous.

[Gunther]

Well, yeah, we not able to go back through the wall.

[Natty]

Could Doug try to, like, stick his.

[Gustavo]

Arm back through the other side, make a dexterity saving throw?

[Natty]

Oh, that's no good for me. 5.

[Gustavo]

You try, but the tornado window gets in the way. It starts blowing you around and, like, redirects you away from the wall, and you're not able to approach it.

[Natty]

Okay. So it's more about the wind keeping us from making our passage back.

[Doug]

Okay.

[Natty]

Versus, like, not actually being able to go through.

[Tolv]

Am I going to have to tug of war against a tornado?

[Doug]

What happens if he tugs on the rope?

[Gustavo]

Do you want him to?

[Doug]

Yeah, Well, I don't know.

[Tolv]

Give me, like, a symbol. Give me, like, a. Like a.

[Doug]

Okay, I'll tug. I'll tug on the rope. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Gunther]

Well, before he does that, I just.

[Natty]

Wanted to see what else was in this room. Like, could I do a perception check or something like that to see what else there might be in here?

[Gustavo]

Sure. I'll just tell you if there's something specifically you want to know more about. Tell me, and then maybe we can make a check on that. So the tornado, it's a rushing tornado swirling with silvery coins inside of it. And the halfling himself is pale blue, almost like. You would say. The skin color is almost like. Like someone who drowned. And he's wearing his. His sailor uniform is drenched wet. Like I mentioned earlier, he has silver coins for eyes, and his fingers are Long and pointed, and he's carrying a rather large coin purse that seems to jingle as he moves.

[Doug]

You know what, Doug? It just struck me that this is an opportunity to talk to one of these individuals who's connected to our. Our deities who have not been around on a. Our plane very much.

[Gunther]

I get. I'm a little scared of him.

[Doug]

Maybe we could. We could barter with him for even more than just safe passes. You know, they love. They love games, right? Don't like these kinds of things. They love to just mess around.

[Gunther]

Maybe. I don't know what this guy's cup of tea is.

[Natty]

You know, is there any other, like, doors or anything like that in this room?

[Gustavo]

Or is it just you look around and the halfling is sipping from a teacup and the silver coins are pouring out of it all around his face and his mouth.

[Gunther]

Whoa. He just made that appeal.

[Tolv]

Maybe.

[Gunther]

He could make anything appeal. What do we want on burger or something like that? I'm kind of hungry.

[Doug]

So, Mr. Wind Trader. Yes. On top of safe passage, what else might. What's on the menu?

[Gustavo]

Menu?

[Natty]

Menu.

[Gustavo]

Sorry. Just like, you derailed my brain.

[Doug]

Oh, we can make all kinds of deals. It depends on.

[Tolv]

On what you're looking for.

[Doug]

Wind, of course, is my specialty. Okay, Natty yells back to Tolvin Gunther for one more Ask for help. Guys, can you think of anything that we could use wind for involving our adventures?

[Tolv]

I mean, do they have any sort of, like, could they channel the wind into, like, some sort of a weapon? You know, like. You know, like, not curse an item, but I can still it with the powers of the wind and the sea. That would be cool.

[Doug]

Well, the sea is not my domain. I was merely given the wind from the sea drinker.

[Gustavo]

One more time.

[Tolv]

What? Louder. I cannot hear you. Very well, wind trader.

[Doug]

I was not given the sea. The sea drinker merely gave me the wind.

[Tolv]

If I could just come inside and talk to you directly, this would be so much easier.

[Gustavo]

Pay the fee.

[Tolv]

What?

[Doug]

I don't want to pay for them to come in here. Oh, I. I got a. I got a good way of asking this. Could you use the wind to bring someone to us that we're looking for? Intriguing. We are, after all, in an underground area in which wind would be quite advantageous in kind of creating a vacuum to pull people towards us. We're looking. Looking for a baron, huh?

[Tolv]

Yeah. You know, like when you go to the bank and they have the pneumatic tube system that, like, sucks things, you.

[Doug]

Know, Wind may not be able to bring them Here. But perhaps the wind could guide you there. Ooh, now we're talking. Something that I could. I could pick. So, safe passage, plus a little help to find our baron. Dude, what's that going to put me back?

[Tolv]

It's going to be like your soul.

[Gunther]

What are the colors of the wind in this situation? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

[Tolv]

Make an offer.

[Doug]

Silver and gold are always welcome. Oh, he likes silver. We should offer silver.

[Natty]

If I only have gold. I know, like, technically, like one gold is X amount of silver and blah, blah, blah, blah. But if I only have gold pieces and he wants silver, is that work for a exchange?

[Doug]

Yeah. Are we bound to the specificity that we all just have gold coins?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, normally, you know, that's like the exchange rate is dealt with, like in trade, like kind of conversion. However, you are dealing with a demigod, so he will probably accept it. Okay, why don't you try and see? He did say gold and silver were welcome.

[Doug]

Where should we start, Doug?

[Gunther]

One gold piece.

[Doug]

Okay, that's gonna be insulting.

[Natty]

And then he adjusts his little collar on his shirt.

[Tolv]

I thought.

[Gustavo]

I thought Doug was gonna snap his suspenders.

[Gunther]

Yeah, yeah, no, he doesn't have any of those. Not yet.

[Doug]

How about 200? Oh, and that got. Oh, that got. Gunther heard that.

[Gunther]

Don't have that. What about. I think he might have said 100 accidentally. What about 2?

[Doug]

200 it is. No, what if.

[Tolv]

What if turn to Gunther and say, I don't think negotiations are going very well.

[Chris]

He never does.

[Gunther]

Do we maybe try to get them to yank us out of here or.

[Doug]

But I. I think this is worth doing. I think he wants real bartering is what he wants. I think you might be going a little bit too low for. For him to actually find a middle ground for us, you know? Okay, you gotta meet them where. Where they're playing. So how about 50?

[Gunther]

Yes. Oh, 50 whole gold pieces. That's. That's a lot.

[Doug]

Which is quick. Doug, do the math. How many silver is that?

[Gunther]

Well, by my calculations, one gold piece is equal to 10 silver pieces. And so that. That would be 500 silver pieces.

[Doug]

500 silver pieces. How about 600 silver pieces? I think we should take this.

[Gunther]

You know, I think we can make that work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Total. Right between the two of us.

[Doug]

Yeah. Okay. And that's for safe passage. And a buddy. A wind buddy. Wind will guide you there.

[Chris]

Wind will push you along on your journey.

[Doug]

Deal. I reach out my hand to shake.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, he reaches out his hand as well. And his fingers Are so long they wrap unnaturally around your hand.

[Doug]

Well, Natty has long fingernails, so it's kind of the same thing.

[Gustavo]

Okay, fair enough.

[Chris]

Yeah, but a halfling with long fingers is weird.

[Natty]

I know.

[Doug]

Very weird.

[Natty]

Really creepy. Logan.

[Gustavo]

As she shakes with his right hand, he reaches out his left hand and.

[Doug]

I shake the left hand as well. And we start dancing.

[Tolv]

And then you do that jazz dance move.

[Gustavo]

He reaches out his left hand, palm up, as if expecting something to be placed in it.

[Gunther]

All right. And Nadia, will you split in this? 50. 50. You, me.

[Doug]

You know what, Doug, I got you. We got help out each other.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Gunther]

Okay. Well, Doug will remember this. Thank you.

[Doug]

And I hand over. That's 60 gold.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. You place 60 gold in his hand, and as the gold touches his hand, it turns into silver and it runs through his fingers down onto the ground into the pile that he's rolling around on.

[Doug]

I'm not picking that up. That's yours.

[Gustavo]

And he says, exquisite.

[Natty]

Ew, I hate this.

[Gustavo]

And with that, the winds of the tornado die down.

[Doug]

Okay. And we go back through the wall.

[Gunther]

My pleasure meeting you, sir.

[Doug]

Toodaloo. Okay, I come out of the wall and I. I just go, woo. Do not go in there, Natty.

[Gunther]

Passion winning now.

[Doug]

All right, good news. We're safe. And we got some help to find the baron.

[Tolv]

Cool. We. We stood out here with rope in our hands and just kind of stared at each other for like 10 minutes.

[Chris]

I think your deity is weird.

[Tolv]

Well, he's like. He's like a demigod. He's like part of my. Yeah. Anyways. What are you saying?

[Doug]

Good question. What did you guys do while we were in there?

[Tolv]

Just kind of hung out and tried to listen as best we could.

[Chris]

Held so tight.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Of de rope.

[Gunther]

Guys, we're just out here hugging each other. I kind of like that.

[Tolv]

Just kind of t posed, you know.

[Doug]

Wait, do you guys not exist when we're not in the room?

[Tolv]

We weren't allowed into the cool kids club. We were sitting outside.

[Chris]

The racist demigod.

[Doug]

Well, no, he's classist.

[Gustavo]

Yeah.

[Chris]

Does not, like, croak for folk.

[Gustavo]

Poor folk.

[Doug]

Poor ones. I feel like you guys need something to do. What do you guys want to do now?

[Chris]

Follow the wind.

[Tolv]

How does the wind. How do I perceive the wind? How. What does it look like? What's it. What form is it in?

[Gustavo]

Excellent question. Why don't you make me a perception check?

[Tolv]

Oh, that's a one. Wow.

[Gustavo]

Your friends all left you. Gunther, you make one too.

[Chris]

Okay, that's a four. Big. Four big Four.

[Gustavo]

Oh, my gosh.

[Doug]

Come on.

[Natty]

We are rolling today.

[Gustavo]

Just stagnant. You got ripped off, Doug and Natty, why don't you two make me one? Make a check as well.

[Doug]

Sixteen plus. Where's my perception? Two. Eighteen.

[Natty]

A twelve.

[Gustavo]

Okay, maybe because you all actually talked with the wind trader, but the two of you are able to see like, little eddies and like little dirt devils going over a part of the rubble. Just like swirling in a circle over a portal of the rubble that's on.

[Natty]

The ground, like, directing us there.

[Gunther]

Hey, guys, I think we should go check this out. I think the wind is guiding us in a way. I feel. I feel very inspired by the wind.

[Tolv]

I'm going to go ahead and untie all the knots that I put around us. We're all connected.

[Gunther]

Okay, we'll wait for the next owl as you untied. He's really good not to take time to untie.

[Gustavo]

Let's wait that out in real time. One hour of silence now.

[Doug]

Yeah, we point towards the rubble. Tolve, you want to check that out?

[Tolv]

Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah. Go to the rubble.

[Gunther]

The rubble.

[Chris]

Well, can we just start moving the rubble out of the way like.

[Tolv]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo]

Gunther and Tove, you start like excavating the rubble and moving it away, and you find the bodies of three of those winged devils beneath the rubble.

[Tolv]

Does this feel like a recent thing or are these like, older bodies that have decomposed?

[Gustavo]

I would say it seems fairly recent.

[Tolv]

Were these the winged devils we saw during the cave in with the baron?

[Gustavo]

It was similar. It's hard to distinguish one from another.

[Natty]

They're the exact ones, but they're the same creatures.

[Doug]

Gotcha. Right.

[Chris]

But they look freshly dead.

[Gustavo]

Correct. Okay.

[Tolv]

Okay, well, I'll carefully move them to the side as I move boulders.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, you move them to the side, and as you're moving one of them, 40 silver pieces fall out of its. One of its like little pouches.

[Chris]

What?

[Gunther]

Oh, well, Natty, I think you should maybe take these and start getting your money back.

[Doug]

I mean, I'm gonna leave that up to the group.

[Chris]

That's fine. I do not care.

[Tolv]

No, that's fine. If you spent money on things for the party, then it seems only fair that you get some money in return.

[Gustavo]

Natty needs to fill out an expense form and submit that this is gonna.

[Natty]

Be taxed, just so you know.

[Doug]

Okay. Natty grabs the silver.

[Gustavo]

Yeah. FYI, Mike is reminding me we did establish the name of these kinds of creatures are grilts Grills. Yeah.

[Doug]

What part of the room was the Rubble just. I didn't lay the land.

[Gustavo]

It's all over.

[Doug]

In the room where these guys were.

[Gustavo]

Where these guys were. I would say it's like close to the eastern wall where that door is.

[Chris]

Okay, can we continue our digging following where the wind was?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, the wind seems to have moved and is swirling over the bodies. Oh, oh.

[Tolv]

Should we investigate the bodies further?

[Chris]

Yeah, can we look at the bodies?

[Gustavo]

Yeah. Blaine, roll me a foresighted die evens and odds are what I'm looking for here.

[Tolv]

Four.

[Gustavo]

Okay, there were three bodies. You know, the silver fell out as you were moving one of them. Tolv, you look at one of the other bodies and Gunther looks at the other one to the body you're looking over. As you're looking through its belongings, you find an iron key. Ooh, and Gunther, as you're looking through the possessions of the other grilp, you find a scorched lantern.

[Chris]

Scorched lantern. Does it like. Yeah, look like just a basic lantern or like magical in any way? You know what I mean? There's just like basic.

[Gustavo]

What does that. What does that mean? How does something look magical?

[Chris]

Oh, I don't know.

[Doug]

You like how there's like food and then magic?

[Chris]

Is there just. Is it just a lantern that got burnt or does it look like it's something of importance?

[Doug]

You have to rub it. You have to rub it, Chris. This is how magic lanterns work.

[Chris]

Now rub it.

[Gustavo]

You rub it and you rub some of the soot off of the outside, but it appears to be. Nothing seems to happen. Appears to be. From what you can tell, a mundane lantern.

[Tolv]

Well, okay, so like, everyone be on the lookout for like a locked, locked door because I have an iron key.

[Doug]

There's a door to the east. Natty just points to that door, but.

[Gunther]

We don't know if it's locked. Although that would be very handy dandy if this key we found opens the door.

[Doug]

Sorry, just looking at the video and just looking at Blaine process that and then look down at his notes.

[Tolv]

Okay, so like, should we double back to the area with the curtain? You know, go through the. To the cubby holes and try to unlock the door? Or should we. We follow the wind?

[Chris]

The wind.

[Doug]

After they have pulled the belongings from the grelps, what does the wind do?

[Gustavo]

Yeah, good question. Everyone make a investigation.

[Tolv]

Check you've got it. It's gonna be a good one.

[Doug]

17, 7, 18. Dang. Gosh.

[Natty]

I am rolling very badly today. I got a six.

[Doug]

Don't worry, the detective boys are on the case.

[Chris]

We have found It.

[Gunther]

I think all the wind that was happening maybe brushed all my hair in front of my eyes. So there's a lot of hair having trouble seeing.

[Tolv]

I'm so caught up on the word grilps because it just sounds like. Like an affliction. Like. Like there's like, I don't know, warts that have grown into your throat. Oh, I got a case of the grills.

[Natty]

Go get some antibiotics for the grills.

[Gustavo]

Yeah, grill is singular and plural, by the way.

[Tolv]

Oh.

[Natty]

Oh, it's grill.

[Doug]

Yeah, we're probably not gonna remember that. Just FYI, I wrote it down.

[Natty]

Steel trap. It's in there now.

[Doug]

What's their investigation? Get them.

[Gustavo]

You feel like the wind has shifted. You don't see like little swirling dirt devils or eddies anymore. Instead you feel like the wind has shifted and is coming out of the west, blowing towards the east.

[Tolv]

Out of the west, blowing towards the east.

[Doug]

Towards the door.

[Chris]

Yeah, the wind is that way.

[Tolv]

Okay.

[Chris]

And then like follow it. Gunther wants to close his eyes and just feel the wind and walk towards.

[Gustavo]

Okay. The wind feels nice and cool on your skin.

[Chris]

Do you know what I mean? Like where he just feels where the. Like almost like lets the wind move him.

[Natty]

Yeah, yeah.

[Gustavo]

It's. It slowly pushes you to. Along towards the east. Micah says use the wind, Luke.

[Natty]

I keep thinking of Pocahontas and that song, the Wind. Do I take the steady path?

[Tolv]

Cool. I'll follow.

[Chris]

Yeah. Where does that take us?

[Tolv]

Does that head take us through the door?

[Doug]

I just like the idea that Gunther's falling. The wind, but it's like veering him off. So Tove just kind of of gently.

[Gustavo]

Pushes him towards the door to vis his rudder.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

It seems to guide you towards the iron double door on the eastern portion of the room.

[Tolv]

Cool. I'll take out the iron key.

[Natty]

Do you want to see if it's locked first?

[Tolv]

Oh, give the door a little jingle jangle and see if it's unlocked.

[Gustavo]

The door is locked.

[Tolv]

Oh, if only we had a key. Just kidding. I have one. I unlocked the door.

[Gunther]

Door.

[Gustavo]

Boldly you to assume that it's the correct key. But it is. The key fits in and unlocks the door. Plane looks very smug.

[Tolv]

I say, yoo hoo, it's me.

[Gustavo]

Trolls coming through. Baron, the door is now open. Gunther, are you still allowing the wind to push you through?

[Chris]

Yes, yes.

[Natty]

I like the idea that to opens the double doors and Gunther just like floats in with his arms open.

[Doug]

Just wafts in.

[Gustavo]

As Gunther wafts in. You all see this, but he doesn't because his eyes are closed.

[Doug]

Oh, no, that's okay.

[Gustavo]

Gunther walks firmly into the backside of an orc who's standing very upright with good posture, who's wearing clerical vestments that seem to be made of some kind of maybe rat skin.

[Doug]

Oh, the size. I'm sorry. The size of this means that Gunther went into his butt.

[Tolv]

I'm just.

[Gustavo]

I said backside. But yeah, that's essentially it.

[Doug]

Face into derriere.

[Tolv]

He's just like he's taking breasts with the wind.

[Chris]

The source of the wind.

[Gustavo]

He turns around when Gunther bumps into him and you see him wearing a glowing silver ring. And he looks very intensely at the four of you and says, have you.

[Chris]

Come to help purify this world?

[Gustavo]

No.

[Doug]

No. This place is just. It's just barrel of monkeys who just want to fight.

[Chris]

Yes.

[Tolv]

Crazy city.

[Chris]

We do have cup. Yes.

[Doug]

If someone asks if you're a God, say yes.

[Gustavo]

Find out if they are indeed here to purify the world. On the next episode.

[Doug]

There are no nice people in this land. Is this just a bunch of.

[Gustavo]

How do you know this person's bad? He's talking about purifying the world.

[Natty]

It's true. We don't know purify the world.

[Gunther]

Give him the benefit of the doubt.

[Tolv]

Well, fantasy, Mr. Clean.

[Gustavo]

Find out what world purification is all about. On the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Doug]

Bye Bye.

[Natty]

Should I marry Coco?

[Doug]

Wom.

[Chris]

I've never seen seen Pocahontas so like I have.

[Doug]

Well, you just gotta remember this, Chris. It's historically accurate.

[Gustavo]

I'm sure it is. New episodes of Tales from Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on The Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want us to show 48 hours early and ad free. Become a [e-mail] or become a member of Beacon at Beacon TV. Both memberships support the show and receive access to exclusive bonus series second week Wind and a member only Discord for their respective platform. Become a patron and you get access to even more exclusive bonus content. The stingy drink community Discord events and you might even get your name shouted out. Just like vixisoftpaw. Loof Fanatica888 Nathan Damien and I stab Oreos personally. I eat Oreos. These patrons directly support the show and get ad free episodes access to our patron only Discord server bonus content like Second Wind and Behind the Screen and much more. In fact, here's a quick peek from the previous episode, Second Wind.

[Doug]

Speaking of the module, any questions?

[Natty]

Yes, what Is the Pathfinder. Can you tell us right now what.

[Doug]

Can I tell you? I can tell you that for those that don't remember, in the episode that was the Baron asking. I don't remember who they asked. Was it. Was it Tolv?

[Tolv]

Might have been Tolv.

[Doug]

Yeah, it might have been Tolv. Do you know who or where? Maybe I can't remember the exact question.

[Natty]

What do you know of the Pathfinder?

[Doug]

What do you know of the Pathfinder?

[Gustavo]

That's what it was.

[Doug]

Okay. We haven't heard that name before in this campaign. What do you guys think? What are some guesses of the Pathfinder being?

[Tolv]

I have some ideas. We've encountered in that cave. We encountered almost like nautical navigational equipment.

[Doug]

And stuff like that. And there's stuff with astronomy and I.

[Tolv]

Feel like that's gotta have some connective.

[Doug]

Tissue with whatever the Pathfinder is.

[Tolv]

Seems like there's searching for something.

[Doug]

What it is, I don't know.

[Natty]

Well, they're looking. We're ultimately looking for the Gates. The. The key to the Gates of Hydra.

[Doug]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

[Natty]

My brain just went, you remember these things.

[Doug]

That was a good recall. That was great recall. Yeah. You can't tell right now, but I'm so proud of you guys right now. Yeah.

[Natty]

So I'm just wondering if, like, maybe Pathfinders, like someone who could show you, essentially show you the way of what you're looking for.

[Doug]

Very interesting.

[Gustavo]

Again, that's stinky. Dragonpod.com. we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show. Listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky dragon, Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode by Cobb, voiced by Cameron Fletcher. Amron Fletcher on Socials. The Wind Trader, voiced by Nick Schwartz. Check him out on regulation podcast or 100 Eat podcast. And preacher Reggie, named after Daydance, voiced by Joe lee. @low g's on Instagram and Twitch. This week's Arrow Queen was submitted by JamiraHearts. Jamera Hearts. Jamira Harts. One of those. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Katherine Arnold. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

[Chris]

Oh, that's a good drawing.

[Gustavo]

John's drawing of it. That's pretty accurate. It's pretty good.

[Natty]

It's colored and everything.

[Tolv]

Wow.

[Doug]

No, it's highlighters. I use highlighters for. For all my. You can see, like, my notes are like this.

[Chris]

That's great, John.

[Tolv]

That's good.

[Chris]

I wish I had handwriting I could read.

[Gustavo]

Do the different colors mean different things?

[Doug]

It's. It's either just something to highlight, like something that's important, or I use it as connective. Like tissue to, like, be like. This connects to this. So look at this.

[Tolv]

This.

[Gustavo]

Can you take a photo of that and slack it to Ben?

[Doug]

Yeah. Like, right here on this one, you can see this is a map. But I ran out of room. So pink goes back to this pink. This was our. This is our chase for the magistrate.

[Gunther]

So cool.

[Doug]

This is my notes. I like colors, actually. I want to get more. I want to get more highlighters. Only got four colors, and I want more. Also, while we're sharing, look at my mommy gave me for Christmas.

[Natty]

What is that?

[Doug]

It's a dice tray. That's a little leather kitty. Oh, my God.

[Natty]

Take a picture of that, too, for Patreon.

[Gustavo]

Okay.

[Tolv]

Yeah.

[Gustavo]

I was gonna say we can post that. That map on Patreon and maybe even the. The kitty dice tree.

[Doug]

I should. I should just take pictures of all these. I've taken a lot of extensive notes.

[Natty]

Which, by the way, you could support us on Patreon by going to stinkydragonpod.com dude, you suckers.

[Gustavo]

Barbara. You took the words right out of my mouth. Take an inspiration. Die. I'm so proud of you.

[Natty]

I already have one, but.

[Doug]

Yay.

[Natty]

Acknowledge.